


Goodbye, Good Loser

by linkzeldi



Series: Perfect Minus x Ultimate Despair [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Medaka Box
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-06-20 08:30:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 53
Words: 637,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15530283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linkzeldi/pseuds/linkzeldi
Summary: The genre of this story finally shifts again to tragedy, just as Enoshima Junko wanted it. Albeit with one unexpected twist. Instead of being the mastermind of a death game of her own design, she's forced to be a participant to a game being masterminded almost exactly the same way she would do it. As Medaka Box and DanganRonpa characters alike are pulled into the fold of tragedy, how will Enoshima Junko who inflicts despair on all others around her, and Kumagawa Misogi who smiles in the face of despair be able to save the day this time?Spoiler warning, they won't.





	1. Jet Black Jabberwock (1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title page by Oakyvii on tumblr!

_  
_

_“What do you want?”, Those words sound like a ringing in my ears_ _  
_ _It looks like my world has gotten bugs_ _  
_ _Material desires block my way, but you call them fair trade?_ _  
_ _So I gave in to my temptations and fell for your nonsense._

 _Forced to play a game of blind dares_ _  
_ _You won’t even listen to right to refuse_ _  
_ _The quest that you assigned me is to kill the mob._ _  
_ _  
_ _In a despair dance, the boy filled with ambitions_ _  
_ _Laughed at the reality that sought refuge in him_ _  
_ _Lying about having no desires and being a hypocrite didn’t help at all_

 _What did I dream of being?_ _  
_ _You want to be a hero (Upupu)_ _  
_ _I say that wish out loud._ _  
_ _Too bad there’s no cure for being stupid._

~"Zetsubousei: hero Chiryouyaku"~

* * *

This is a story about nothing. A story where beginning and ending, nothing real ever happens and nothing changes.  Sounds like a pretty boring story, huh? So, why am I subjecting you to this. Well, if I have to suffer through boredom than you do too! Consider it a punishment for the ugly and stupid lives you’ve lived up until this point.  
  
Anyway, narration is my new hobby so I’ll try to be more professional about it and less personal than the previous narrator. Now,  where to start. I could resume exactly where the last story let off, but then where would the mystery be in life? The more I explain, the less chance there is of something unexpected happening, that’s why narration is a delicate line to walk.

Let’s start with those two, it always seems to begin and end with those two. In a world full of unbalanced teenagers with extremely heightened abilities and eccentric personalities, he was somehow the least pleasant person of them all.  
  
He blamed everyone around him for his condition and lied as easily as he breathed. He was self aware at least, but had no intention of improving himself. Instead, he tried to change the entire world around him. He was capable of telling lies that could affect reality. He wanted to forget about every unfortunate thing that happened to him, and drag everybody down to his level thinking he was owed understanding for all of his suffering.  
  
He was entirely empty. He lacked malice hope, or other similar feelings, and instead acted entirely on his own selfish whims. He was always smiling, and could break people easily without losing that adorable smile of his. At first glance, somebody who could break anyone, who could defile anyone, would seem undefeatable, but that was the thing about a lesser being, a minus like him. He could never win. He was always working against himself. He was always fighting against himself, and losing to himself, his opponents barely factored into the equation.

Despite being the perfect adversary, the perfect final boss so to speak, he never set out to be a villain in the first place.. Deep in his heart that boy desired to be a hero who did not lose anything or anyone important to him. However, due to his nature this led to a loss. A hero who could fight for the sake of the weak people he had bonded with. Every single time he attempted something alone, it would inevitably lead to the worst possible outcome. When he tried to stop the suicide of the girl he loved, he killed her. He transferred to several new schools looking for allies, only to inevitably have those schools destroyed whether he wanted them to be or not.  When he searched for a strength that could overcome the not equal, he destroyed the heart of the girl he wanted to be his greatest ally and turned her into his greatest enemy.

Nothing ever went his way, but that was really just his own fault in the end. He locked himself away in a cage of his own making because the outside world was too painful and wrought with too much tragedy for him to endure anymore. His very own coping mechanism is what doomed him, what allowed him to survive also slowly killed him. He lost because he perceived himself as a loser, no matter how strong he became he would only ever see himself as weak. His fault. He never went as others would have liked either. He was hated, despised, but he himself never explained himself to others. He never tried to understand them in the first place. He saw them all as superior to him, as looking down on him, and because of that he shut them out as well. He could not move in ways they expected because he did not understand their expectations to begin with.  
  
In another story he might have been a tragic figure, but everything about him is just too despicable to be relatable. In fact, in this whole world there was only one girl who could relate to Kumagawa Misogi.

While I say the two could relate, they were actually quite different in every single way.  
  
She was as close to perfect as they came. She had perfect looks, a perfectly caring sister, a perfect childhood friend absolutely devoted to her, perfect fame that made her loved by all, and a perfect mind that could understand the others around her perfectly.  
  
She lived a life almost entirely untouched by the world. Even if she did not have the best of childhood’s, things always worked out best for her, she always came out on top. It was not any bad thing in her life which motivated her, or influenced her, as none of those things had ever reached her. She stood above everything else lived a life of perfect security, eternal, unchanging.  
  
Hope is harmony. A just heart, moving toward the light, but that’s it. Perfection is an ending point and a rather dull one, once you reach it you can’t strive for anything at all. She, who had more talent than everybody else, should have been more hopeful than anybody else, but she quickly grew sick of hope. She saw how everyone around her was simply making themselves fat on hope.  
  
Human beings long for happiness more than anything, but how curious…. It is in the depths of despair that they grow. She, who was too happy, too perfect, could not experience this. The world around her that could not change exactly in the same way that she did, quickly grew to bore her. Threatened, pushed to the limit, face to face with pure desperation, she pushed others into those circumstances and watched them change.

  
Hope and harmony are a status queue that are reached and remain forever unchanging. To her, despair was bottomless, she could sink further and further. Messy, and confusing, swallowing love, hatred, and everything else. Her empty self devoured everything around her with great impudence and without impunity. Yet, still, even though she was perfect at sending others, and even herself into despair, that despair was not quite as unpredictable as she claimed.  
  
After all she claimed despair was an absolute, inescapable thing with only the smallest prodding being required to push people over its edge. Yet, was her faith in despair really that strong? If so, then why was she always such a control freak. She manipulated events as tightly as possible, to cut hope off at the knees. She ripped away people’s memories, identities, and continually played with mind control. Despite believing that despair could consume others easily, she did absolutely everything to control these circumstances, and push others into despair sinking her clawed fingers as deeply into others as she needed to, and because of this even her wicked schemes to bring about the unexpected went despairingly perfect for her.

When she lost her last recourse to escape a predictable life that always went her way, that girl started to wish for death. To have all of her plans foiled, and to die and taste the greatest despair of all right before death.

So, inevitably Enoshima Junko came into conflict with that boy Kumagawa Misogi who despite living his worst, most miserable life possible, wanted to live more than anybody else.  
  
Those two, opposites in every way possible, strong and weak, controlled and uncontrolled, intelligent and stupid, beautiful and ugly, alike in only one way. They were both entirely devoid of hope, they could only feel despair for everything and everyone around them.  
  
It was a mistake that they ever met, it was regrettable that they grew closer, and yet they could not be rid of each other either. After all, the only thing either of them really knew in this world was despair. So, they tried to understand each other, but was that really the best idea?  
  
Those two would never change, and they could not change each other. Nor could they change the circumstances around them, and the inevitable people around them that got dragged into their despair as well. That is why this is a pointless story where nothing happens, ah but I better tell it anyway if I just sit here and do nothing I’ll be even more bored.

 

♛

 

“Hey…”

  
He heard the sound of ocean waves, hitting the shore again and again, or perhaps that was just the beating of his heart.  
  
“Are you okay?” A voice like sandpaper spoke above him, it was a thoroughly unpleasant one though the concern in his voice seemed genuine. “You seem pretty out of it. To be honest I’m also, no everyone else feels the same too. Since we suddenly got put in this weird situation.”  He opened his eyes and saw, a pure white sun, reflecting off of pure white hair. The face became closer, as the boy leaned over him.  
  
“Hey, are you listening?”  HIs body language was quite polite, as he knelt over the other, and sat with his knees pulled up and his hands resting on his knees. He waited, while that boy beneath him’s eyes fluttered between consciousness and unconsciousness.

 _I don’t understand._ _  
__Why… am I here?_ _  
__What happened?_ _  
__I should_ _try to to think._ _  
__Think-think-think-think-think-think-think._

Later on in the story you would learn, that was quite a hard feat for somebody like him. (I’m calling him stupid, Lol). At the moment though, he seemed quite normal in a circumst ance that was entirely abnormal.  
  
As he pushed the knots in his mind to distingeanlge them, and gathered the fragments of his scattered memories, he pieced together what actually happened.

 _That’s right I…_ _  
_ _I…._ _  
_ _That day wasn’t a typical for me._ _  
_ _It was a day that felt truly…. Significant._ _  
_ _And when that long-awaited day finally came, I felt proud in a way that I can’t really put into words._ _  
_ _I felt like… I had just become a part of something greater than myself, does that make sense?_ _  
_ _Actually, that’s exactly what it was like…_ _  
_ _I was truly in a dream._ _  
_ _Hope’s peak academy._ _  
_ _That place was much more than a school to me._ _  
_ _Kids who love to play baseball will long to join the major leagues._ _  
_ _Kids who love to play soccer will long to join a rep team…_ _  
_ _And ever since I was a kid, I’ve felt the same way about Hope’s Peak Academy._

 _Hope’s Peak Academy is a government-funded school for the privileged elite of society._ _  
_ _It recruits top students from every imaginable field to inspire hope, and in doing so, shape the future._

 _Whenever Hope’s Peak is mentioned, it’s inevitable that someone will say “the moment you come here and graduate you’re set for life.”_ _  
_ _And just so you know, that’s not a joke or an exaggeration at all._ _  
_ _Many of the current leaders of various industries are actually alumni from this school._ _  
_ _Well, that’s basically what Hope’s Peak Academy is all about. As they say, it’s truly the Academy of Hope._ _  
_ _  
_ _There are two criteria you must meet in order to attend the school. One, you must be a current highschool student. Two you must be the absolute best in what you do. Unlike other schools, there aren’t any entrance exams at this academy. The only way to get in is if the school scouts you itself… That is how Hope’s Peak Academy operates. Now, because of the talents of those who are chosen… The students of Hope’s Peak academy are called the ultimates. But even though I’m finally going to Hope’s Peak Academy, the school I desired more than anything else.._ _  
_ _  
_ _The truth is, my circumstances are a little different than that of my peers… Well, I guess I can put that aside for now. You’ll find out soon enough, and it’s nothing special worth talking about… I think._ _  
_ _  
_ _Well, this is what’s expected… I guess that’s how I should think about it. My name is_  『redacted』. _There’s only one reason I came to Hope’s Peak Academy… because I admired Hope’s Peak Academy. To me, attending Hope’s Peak Academy is like being a celebrity or a superhero. In fact, instead of calling it admiration… it’s always been a dream of mine. That’s why, to feel like a member of society, to become someone I can be proud of, I always wanted to…_ _  
_ _For that reason alone, I always wanted to…_ _  
_ _For that reason alone, I always… always  always always always always always always  always always always always always always always  always always always al… ways … until now, I enver wanted to admit how painfully ordinary I really. Am… That’s why Hope. I might have admired talent-individuality…-but I have finally...forever-triedybest...finallycametru3+d.._

 _Huh…?_ _  
_ _Loading program 52.01_ _  
_ _Huh…_

His consciousness became spotty, like old film on a broken projector, and then it faded away into black.  
_What….is this?_ _  
_ In front of him there was a single hallway extending forward infinitely, and at the end, an odl wooden double door.

 _… It’s a door._ _  
_ _There’s a door._ _  
_ He observed, quite astutely.  
_Still I need to hurry._ _  
_ _Because I need to go inside this classroom._ _  
_ _… Need?_ _  
_ _… What “need?”_ _  
_ _No.. I should hurry._ _  
_ _  
_ He inched towards the door, pulling it open until he saw a light through the other end. A just heart reaching towards the light, that was hope, right? That boy loved talent more than anything else, so, he wanted to understand those who were talented more than anything else, but was that really the best idea?  
  
When he walked through the door, he immediately saw a classroom of fifteen other children gathered.  All of them, just like him looked nervously around, like they had no idea what they were doing here. _It’s natural for students to show up to class, isn’t it?_ None of them wore matching uniforms though. They were spread out through the room, some sitting, some standing, some leaning against walls. All muttering to themselves.  
  
He was the one who finally spoke up. “Ah, um…”  
  
“Hey, could you be… You’re also a freshman at this school, right?”  
  
“Ah, then.. You’re all…?”

“Well, actually some of us are first years, some second, and there’s even one third year among us but he went off somewhere else.”

_These guys… everyone… what a weird and inconsistent bunch._

_These are the students that were accepted into Hope’s Peak Academy… The Ultimates?_ _  
_ _  
_ “Hey, buddy why don’t you come inside for now?” The one that spoke to him had blonde hair that framed his face, in two even spikes. He had pointed eyebrows, and a pair of glasses resting on the bridge of his nose. HIs uniform was black was gold rides, and he wore a red arm band, one one of his arms. He definitely seemed like a strong and authoritative type, but his manner of speaking was undeniably friendly. “I think with you here, that just leaves those two troublemakers…” His friendly expression fell a little bit as he said that.  
  
THat boy stepped inside, closed the door behind him forgetting where they door led to the moment he let it shut, and sat in an open seat at the back of the classroom. “Umm… Excuse me?”  
  
“Yeah, dude? You alright?” The blonde with a hand in his pocket turned back to look at him again.  
  
“Why are we all gathered in this classroom? No one said anything about coming here, so… is there like an entrance ceremony, or homeroom happening now?”  
  
“We were gathering everybody up to talk about that.”  
  
“Talk?”  
  
“Yeah, but we can’t really start without those two, sorry man…” He reached behind and scratched at the back of his head.  
  
A girl sitting on the desk next to him, kicking both her legs that dangled off the table spoke up. “Ehh? How do you know those two are even here?”  
  
“Well, we came here to find them so…” He stopped scratching, and let his hand rest on the back of his neck, and cracked a smile. “Faith in my friends, I guess.”  
  
“You should bother to think about those things a little more…” That girl said, before biting off a chunk of her lollipop and looking away from him.  
  
Behind him, a much stricter looking girl with longer hair, and an a single lonck of hair sticking up from the middle of it like an antenna spoke up. She wore the exact same uniform as him, and leaned against him in a familiar manner as she rested an arm on his shoulder. “You shouldn’t speak for everybody. We don’t know if everybody remembers the same thing. Besides, we can’t assume everybody thinks the same way as we do, and wants to be dragged into our fights.”  
  
“You’re the last person on earth who gets to say that! Apologize now! Apologize for the life you’ve lived up until this point if you’re going to start saying things like that!” The boy with sandy blonde hair immediately turned around and started to bicker with her.  
  
A feeling of unspeakable dread began settling onto his shoulders.

“This is likely, some kind of dangerous experiment…” A girl with bandages covering her face remarked from the back of the classroom, from her words immediately jumping to the worst possibility and her aura she seemed like an entirely engative person.  
  
A boy with swirling white hair like a cloud sat up and rested his chin on his curled up fingers. “Or perhaps… doesn’t it make more sense to think that this is some sort of school trip?”  
  
“But… we already took a school trip.” A girl with unremarkable plain dark hair, parted and tucked behind her ears stared out the window as she spoke.

“Hey… guys remember we weren’t going to start talking until we find the other two. They probably don’t want to be left out.” The guy in the glasses remarked nervously.

A girl with hair the color of lilac done in elaborate braids, sat hunched over a desk her face pressed against the table. “The mystery is getting impatient, it’s just waiting to be solved.”  
  
Next to her, sitting on the same desk and practically close enough to be her shadow, a boy in a blue hat responded to her. “I think you’re the one getting impatient, boss!”

Another girl with grey hair and a quiet and serious look about her carrying something on her back remarked at the same time. “It doesn’t make sense for the classes to get mixed up like this in a school trip either.”  
  
“Then, maybe this is a special school trip, like an end of the year final exam or something. I mean the school has changed a lot recently, it started accepting transfer students of all kinds.”

“Ah, you’re wrong this isn’t a class trip…” A voice spoke up into the classroom out of nowhere.  
  
“Hey… you the dumbass blonde. Why’d you make that cutesy voice all of a sudden?” Another boy spoke up, he wore a fine tailored pinstripe suit, and had his head half shaved, he would look sharp and handsome were it not for the round babyish features of his face.  
  
The boy in the glasses tilted his head. “Hey, I know I’m not the smartest guy in the world, but I try hard okay! Huh? What voice are you talking about.”  
  
A sleepy looking girl, raised her head from her desk. Her hair cutely framed her face, and she wore a hoodie was a popular game character on it. “...Huh?” She muttered as if just being woken up. “Then, whose is it?”  
  
“It’s the cute and wonderful me, obviously.”  
  
“Uhh… Uh… whose there? Where are you?” A girl with one arm and one leg, practically half of herself covered in bandages, knitted her fingers together as she grew more nervous.

A boy sitting at the back of the class, with black hair and silver streaks running through it slicked back in a cool looking design looked up. “That voice is coming from the teacher’s desk, reveal thyself, stranger!”  
  
Suddenly, out of nowhere another girl was sitting on the desk. She was beautiful, red hair and red eyes that captivated you the moment you looked at them. Her hair was tied back in a ribbon, and she wore a simple school uniform like everybody else, another ribbon tying at the collar of her uniform. She drew her knees up in a way that revealed the long black stockings she wore on her thighs.  
  
She was undeniably beautiful, but there was something off about her. She was almost too beautiful, and with eyes like that even when she rested her head on the top of her knees and looked directly at him, that plain boy did not even feel seen. The person in front of him gave him a sort of uncanny valley impression, to him she did not even feel human at all. “It’s nobody just little old me. I thought I’d make my entrance a little bit dramatic, that is all.”

Standing behind her suddenly, was a man with blue hair and his back turned to the rest of the class. He wore a two piece white suit, and on his black  there was an equal sign with a line driven through it.  
  
“Quit screwing around, you!” The other powerful looking girl in the room immediately snapped at her. “You know what’s going on don’t you?”  
  
“Hmm, I do.”  
  
“Then tell us quickly so everybody can stop feeling anxious.”  
  
“But that would be spoilers! I can’t cheat like that! If you want to skip ahead that badly, find some cheat codes, or in the original Super Mario there was a warp zone.”  
  
“You could be a little more helpful, instead of rambling to yourself about nonsense like always!”  
  
“Hmm, why? Do you always gotta be the hero?”  
  
“Do you always gotta be the pain.”  
  
Quickly. The boy with sandy blonde hair jumped in between the two of them, trying to stop the fighting from getting even worse. The girl readjusted her sitting on the desk and looked at everybody else around her. “I’m magical miracle girl Ajimu Najimi, ah just kidding that’s a super lame name. Please, just call to me by affection Anshin’in-san.” She cupped her hands in her cheeks, leaning to gaze more closely at us all. “I’m a student just like you, but I’ll take responsibility since I”m the oldest. I’m 3,402,193, 822,311 years old, so if there’s anybody older here feel free to claim the title of upperclassmen from me.”  
  
“Ummm…” The clueless boy who was the last to walk into the classroom stuttered. “Is this person even real?”  
  
The blonde boy in the suit crossed his arms in distrust. “I’ve never heard of her, she sounds like she’s bullshitting us.”  
  
To that Ajimu Najimi replied with a smile. “Oh, I definitely am bullshitting you, though the extent to which I am can’t be revealed just yet. Ah, anyway consider me the leader of this school trip for now. We should really be finding those two, ah, for along time now they’ve been such troublesome children to me.”  
  
The girl with long hair who had been arguing with her a moment ago crossed her arms over her great chest. “A school trip? But, we already took one, how did this happen without the authority of the student council.”  
  
“That’s right!” Ajimu Najimi continued on, ignoring her. “A large group of students go on a chaperoned trip with a leader! It’s the biggest event of the school year!”  
  
“I think she knows what a school trip is, Anshin’in-san…” The sandy haired boy scratched his head again his expression falling.  
  
“Now, let’s depart on a fun school trip! Use the opportunity to seize on the springtime of your youth, or the summertime of your youth, or whatever…” Lazily she waved her hands, and suddenly the classroom around them collapsed and unfolded revealing a sunlit landscape, with palm trees and a bright blue sky. The classroom seemed to be nothing more than a stage set set up for a transition, and what appeared before him instead was…

 _Blue sea… white clouds._ _  
_ _Blue sea… white waves._ _  
_ _What? What is this?_ _  
_ _No matter how I tried to rationalize it, it was… abnormal._ _  
_

“Huh? How the hell did we get here?” That girl with the powerful looking aura snapped at Ajimu again.  
  
“Uhh… obviously, I used a skill to do it, or something.”  
  
“That’s impossible! There’s no skill I’ve heard of that can transport everybody to a giant beach and make them forget why they came here.”  
  
“You’re the last one who should be talking about the impossible, really…” Ajimu said, with a yawn.  
  
The boy with blonde hair and glasses tried to get in the middle of their fight again. “Wait, Anshin’in-san, we need to be at Hope’s Peak don’t we? We have responsibilities there, and I’m the new student council president after all. What about the election and all that? We made such a big deal about it, are we really not going to follow up on that.”  
  
“Hmm? The election? Well I guess it was a big deal at the time but, done! Bored now. Just forget about Hope’s Peak Academy, we already started this exciting new school trip arc.”

  
“The hell do you mean we should forget about it!” The boy with the baby face, stared at her harshly with his asymmetrical gaze.  
  
The girl who had been eating a lollipop, now moved onto her next piece of candy as she looked at the other. “Are you scheming someting again, Anshin’in-san.”  
  
“What? No, I’ve totally reformed, I’m being kept in check by Medaka-chan’s promise to me after all. I’m playing this annoying role for your sake.”  
  
“Then, why are you being so annoying?” The girl with the strong aura said, getting in her face again.  
  
“Well, I want to have a little fun…Otherwise just sitting and watching hope grow in everybody’s heart isn’t really my kind of thing. I’m a neutral kind of gal you know. I’d prefer everything just stay the same but I don’t really have a say in things this time, I’m no longer the narrator.”

  
“Ugh… she’s talking like that again…” The girl with the strong aura muttered under her breath through gritted teeth.  
  
“It’s fine, with my quadrillion skills nothing on this island will be a threat to us anyway. You don’t even have to worry about protecting people, Medaa-chan, so please, just all of you try to be normal students for once in your lives.”  
  
“Island? Did you just say island?” The boy with the white hair said, pressing a finger to his forehead.  
  
“Yep, it’s prepared just for us. An island totally removed from the outside world, free of people and danger. It’s pretty big, well it’s the only space big enough to contain egos like this.”  
  
“Perhaps… you brought us to this uninhabited island to make us kill each other?” The white haired boy took a step backwards, horror spreading across his face as he held his arm out in front of him.  
  
“Ah, always the ray of sunshine Komaeda-kun. This beach is just perfect for your sunny personality. Unlike certain other annoying girls though, I have better things to do with my time than forcing teenagers to kill each other. Instead I’m going to do something far more horrifying, you’ll be forced to talk with each other, have deep personal conversations that show your hidden insecurities and strengthen your bonds with one another! That is the main rule on this heart throbbing school trip!”  
  
“Heart throbbing school trip?” The boy with glasses said, repeating it in shock.  
  
“Spend these peaceful and relaxing day nourishing hope and lazing about, free from pain, free from suffering, you wanted to be the main character of a romantic comedy didn’t you Hitoyoshi-kun? You haven’t even gotten that far in your romantic arc, you’re losing to that guy of all people.”  
  
“Hey… be nice…” The boy in glasses nervously looked away again.

 _I couldn’t follow her words at all…_ _  
_ _And then, just like that… Like a curtain slowly lowering…_

_My mind ground to a halt._

♛

  
The white haired boy lost patience, trying to talk to the boy asleep on the beach who was currently having a plot critical flashback. He reached forward for the single loch of hair that looked like a crooked antennae on the boy’s head and then yanked at it, pulling, and pulling until it stretched.  
  
Suddenly, the boy sat up again. “It’s gonna break!” He shouted before moving his head up suddenly and ramming it into the stomach of the other.  
  
The boy with white hair collapsed forward, coughing up onto the beach. “Ugh….”  
  
As he stood up the other boy with brown hair and a plain look about him, grabbed onto his wrist with the other hand and looked over himself and around himself. “Ah… sorry… I… why am I on a beach? What about Hope’s Peak Academy?”  
  
The white hair boy curled his fingers around his chin. “Eh? You don’t remember? A cute boy just washing upon the beach with no memory, what a cliche.”  
  
“N, I’m a bit dizzy….” He rubbed his forehead, ignoring the comment about him being cute.  
  
“You do appear to be quite lost.”  
  
“Yeah, I passed out almost immediately after entering hope’s peak academy.”  
  
“You’re not the only one who passed out… altogether there were sixteen students from different parts of the school that fainted. Everyone gathered in the classroom afterwards, but nobody remembers why so many different kids were meeting there. Then, Ajimu Najimi appeared a godlike girl who claims to be trillions of years old and have a quadrillion skills. The classroom opened on all four sides and we found ourselves on an uninhabited island.”  
  
“So… my memories weren’t just a weird dream after all!? Say it ain’t so?”  
  
“Don’t be depressed. Surely, we don’t need to worry that much.”  
  
“Even if you say that.”  
  
“Ajimu said that this ‘Field Trip’ would end when we all became friends, then we’re allowed to leave this island.”  
  
“How can I believe such a story…” The boy with crooked brown hair looked behind him, and saw a camera clearly set up on a tripod on the beach. “Besides there are montiors and cameras all over the place… Are they observing us?”  
  
“Hmmm… so we’re being observed. Aren’t they doing that to make sure that we aren’t in any danger?”

“If that’s so… it’s okay…” There was still a bit of suspicion in his voice.  
  
The other boy looked utterly carefree though. He smiled, relaxed. “Right. Maybe you’ve forgotten so I’ll introduce myself again. I’m Komaeda Nagito. I’m the Ultimate Lucky student, of the second year class.”

  
Suddenly, something beeped in his pocket. He immediately reached out to find it, and saw something like an ipad in his hands. The moment the other student introduced himself, details of his name flashed across the screen.  
  
**Komaeda Nagito** **  
** **Talent: Ultimate Luckster** **  
** **Mentality: Minus** **  
** **Likes: Beautiful places, Beautiful people** **  
** **Dislikes: Noisy Places, Ugly people**

“Huh?” The boy said looking at the words that suddenly flashed on the screen, along with ‘Hope fragment gained’. “Why are they giving me all this information about you, like your likes and dislikes and stuff?”  
  
“Maybe it’s a dating profile.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Just kidding, just kidding.”  
  
“So… your talent is luck?” The plain looking boy quickly changed the subject again. Well to be honest anybody would be plain looking in comparison to a weirdo like Komaeda, have you seen him? He was back to wearing his coat with red squares on the shoulder, a plain white shirt that hung off his skinny body underneath with a strange red spiral shape in the center, and black pants that hugged hiw long legs a bit too tightly, accentuating how gangly and emaciated he looked while being tall at the same time.  
  
“Ah… That’s what everything thinks too. I myself, honestly speaking find it odd but… Actually I’m the only student Hope’s Peak Academy as allowed to roll as the Ultimate Lucky Student, out of all the eligible students in the country. I have mixed feelings about it… I never thought an average, talentless high school student like me could enter hope’s peak academy. At first I declined I told them I didn’t deserve it. Apparently, they really wanted me to attend. This so-called luck of mine is an abnormal talent worth studying. To research it, the school picks the Ultimate Lucky Student every year through an annual lottery. Hope’s Peak Academy is amazing if they can researcha  talent like luck, or so I thought, but I’ve really felt out of place for the last two years… Ah, sorry I have a bad habit of viewing most things through a pessimistic lens and rambling. ” He twisted his fingers in his hair in a strange form of modesty. Then, his emotions shifted and he pointed to the boy, a happy expression on his face. “Now, it’s your turn! Surely, you must remember something about yourself… right?”  
  
“I’m 『redacted』my talent is…” The boy reached up and scratched at his cheek with a single finger. “Huh?”

 **『Error』** **  
** **Talent: ?????** **  
** **Mentality: ????** **  
** **Likes: Kusamochi** **  
** **Dislikes: Sakuramochi**

Komaeda pulled a tablet out of his own pocket. He did not even seem to notice the missing information. “Oh, you like Kusamochi? We should eat it together sometime… I’m no good at cooking though hopefully somebody else on this island can cook.”  
  
“I can’t remember… my talent…” As the boy said that, his expression went entirely blank. Even his eyes which ahd strange, target shaped pupils looked entirely empty.  
  
However, Komaeda next to him was not fazed at all. “Hmm… It’d be good if you could remember.”  
  
“By the way, where’s everyone else?”  
  
“I cam to call you because they’re all out looking for the two missing students. Anshin’in-san said we should split up to find them, and then all meet back together at the park.” Komaeda suddenly stepped forward and offered the other his hand. “If you’re still not feeling steady, here, I can help.”  
  
“Ah… thank you…” The boy said, taking it. Just for the first few steps anyway, as he walked on the uneven sand beneath his feet, Komaeda’s hand was the only thing to steady him. The hand had a strange feel about it, even though Komaeda’s face was warm, radiant, the hand itself was entirely cold, and despite the soft and pale, almost colorless look of his skin, his hand was rough to the touch. Still, he wondered how somebody’s hand could feel so cold, it was almost like… touching the hand of a corpse.

 _What a morbid thought._ _  
_ _I shouldn’t be thinking of something like that on a school trip.  
_ _What could possibly happen, right?  
_  
Damn, he jinxed all of them.  
I guess what was going to happen next was totally his fault, he should know better than to say stuff like that in this genre of fiction.

♛

The first pair of talented students was not hard to find at all. A girl with lilac colored hair was hunched over what looked to be a broken sandcastle at the far end of the beach. “Those two were definitely here before us… but how exactly did they walk off the beach without their footprints appearing in the sand.”  
  
Behind her, a blue dressed in blue pinstripe was fiddling with his hat. “I’m guessing the waves washed their footprints away, Boss.” He had an ordinary look about him in spite of his outfit, perhaps that was why he arrived at a common sense answer much more easily.  
  
“Ah. Of course… I already came to that conclusion but it’s good to have an assistant around to speak the obvious for me.”  
  
“Are you just saying that to save face?”  
  
Before they could get any further in their discussion, they noticed the other pair approaching them. “Komaeda-senpai, you found where that other boy wandered off to didn’t you? Good job, and now you’re holding his hand so he doesn’t ruoff again.”  
  
The boy with brown hair immediately pulled his fingers away from Komaeda’s feeling embarrassed. “No, that’s not it! I was just feeling woozy all of a sudden.”  
  
The boy in the hat, pulled his hat over his head. “I can understand that feeling…”  
  
“Hey, you two introduce yourself again.” Komaeda said as he held a hand out in front of the brown haired boy. “This one is kind of empty headed apparently, he forgets things easily so he probably forgot your names already.”  
  
“Hey, don’t say something like that so casually!” The brown haired boy snapped at him.  
  
“I didn’t say it to be mean, it was just an objective fact.”

“You two should try to stay calm…” The girl with the lilac hair advised. “My name is… Kirigiri Kyoko.”  
  
“Kirigiri’s from a long running family of detective, she was born and raised to be a detective. SHe’s the one most qualified for the title of the Ultimate Detective.” Komaeda immediately spoke over her.  
  
“You know, that was probably supposed to be my line…” Kyoko responded in a calm voice.

  
“Sorry, I can’t help it as the Ultimate Ultimate Fanatic.”  
  
Suddenly, That boy's tablet beeped again. He read the words that flashed across the screen.

 **Kirigiri Kyoko** **  
** **Talent: Ultimate Detective** **  
** **Mentality: Special** **  
** **Likes: Her Hair Braids** **  
** **Dislikes: Goya, Coriander** **  
**

He watched as the lines ‘Hope Fragment Obtained’ flashed across the screen.  
  
Behind Kyoko, the boy in the hat stood up once more. The plain looking boy called out to him. “Umm… Are you an Ultimate student, too?”  
  
“Y-yeah… Well then I’m… Saihara Shuichi. They call me the Ultimate Detective to, but…”  
  
“What? Two detectives in the same class?”  
  
“Ah, no…The Miss is the only detective here. I don’t have the credentials to call myself a detective yet. I just… happened to solve a case I came across and… now people call me that.”

  
Komaeda from behind him spoke up. “You wear the title of an utimate you should be more proud of that.”  
  
“Ah… tha-”  
  
“Then again, it might be a little too redundant having two ultimate detectives on the same island.” Komaeda changed his mind quickly.  
  
“Oh, uh sorry…”  
  
The boy’s tablet beeped again.  
  
**Saihara Shuichi** **  
** **Talent: Ultimate Detective** **  
** **Mentality: Minus** **  
** **Likes: Novels** **  
** **Dislikes: Gossips** **  
** **  
** “Why does this thing keep giving me likes and dislikes… did everybody fill out a survey before coming here?” He wondered aloud. The words Hope Fragment Obtained, flashed across the screen again.  
  
Next to him, Komaeda shrugged. “Perhaps they collected some data on us before starting this trip.”

They said goodbye to the two detectives and continued on their search. Between the two of them, Komaeda did most of the talking while he looked at the contents of his own pad. Every single person registered had multiple pages of information, but it was all blocked off except for the first one, and of course there was his own profile which looked glitchy in comparison. However, he did not think too deeply about it, his mind drifting off as he listened to Komaeda’s voice. It was gravely, but there was a nice texture to it, like running your hands through sand and letting it sift through your fingertips. Besides, he knew that he wasn’t too good or interesting at talking so he appreciated Komaeda for making the effort.  
  
“Yo, Komaeda-kun!” A voice called out to him the moment another noticed them walking along the main pathway of the island. They stood in the middle of what looked to be a normal airport. In the middle of the runway, some commotion was happening.  
  
However, the friendly blonde boy from before walked up to them and immediately hit his upper arm against Komaeda’s in some kind of handshake. Oh, so the two were familiar with each other, the plain looking boy though feeling a bit out of place. Komaeda had recognized Kyoko too… did that make him the only one on this island who didn’t recognize anybody else?

“Hitoyoshi-kun, where is Kurokami-san?”  
  
“How would I know, am I her keeper?”  
  
“Yeah… pretty much.” Komaeda said with a smile. “Well, I’d expect somebody of her talents to do three laps around this island already looking for those two.”  
  
“Uh.. yeah, she started doing that but then she got a little bit distracted…”

 **Hitoyoshi Zenkichi** **  
** **Talent: Ultimate Student Council President** **  
** **Mentality: Zero** **  
** **Likes: Kurokami Medaka** **  
** **Dislikes: Lazy people**

“Huh, what? Don’t list Medaka-chan as one of my likes, that’s super embarrassing…” Hitoyoshi said, as he looked over that boy’s shoulder,

  
“You’ve made your bed now lie in it, Hitoyoshi-kun…” Komaeda said rather harshly. As he watched the words ‘Friendship Fragment Obtained’ move across the screen, he looked up at the airport once more and noticed a commotion towards one of the plains.  
  
“Enough she-beast! You’re terrifying my demon generals! Tell me what rank of demon are you to provoke such a reaction!” The boy with black and silver hair, was cuddling a shaking hamster in his hand, while several more were hiding in his collar.  
  
The girl with the intensely strong aura was hovering around him, trying to reach one of the hamsters. “Awe, but they’re so cute! Ahahahahaahaha!”  
  
“Medaka-chan, you should know animals are scared of you by now.” Zenkichi came up from behind her, chopping her lightly on the back of the head to get her attention.  
  
“What if I were to wear a giant hamster costume.”  
  
“No, that’s just going to look even more terrifying!” Between the two of them he looked like the only one who had a sense of embarrassment.

“I think a costume to simulate being one of the animal’s kind is a fine idea, such techniques are used to raise animals that imprint easily such as baby swans.” The boy with the silver streaks in his hair said, as he struck a thoughtful looking pose.  
  
“Don’t encourage her! We don’t need one weirdo encouraging another, Chuunibiyou-san.”  
  
“Is that really fair, Zenkichi? You had your own Chuunibiyou phase in middle school, remember?” The girl said.  
  
Zenkichi suddenly turned around. “We agreed never to speak of that again!” He took a deep breath and looked at the planes spread out in front of them. “Besides, we need his hamsters to sneak in and investigate the cabins of those planes… remember?”  
  
“My four demon generals!” the boy said with emphasis to correct her. “And they found the engine compartments in each plane was entirely empty.”

“Oh, by the way, there’s a new guy here who wanted to meet you.” Zenkichi said, pointing a thumb back towards the boy.

Immediately, the boy with silver streaks in hair hair and a scar across one of his eyes stepped back. “A new student which nobody recognizes! They must be an interloper…So says I Tanaka Gundham!”  
  
**Tanaka Gundham** **  
** **Talent: Ultimate Animal Breeder** **  
** **Mentality: Special** **  
** **Likes: Four Dark Devas of Destruction** **  
** **Dislikes: Earthly Life** **  
** **  
** “I’m… sorry for being born on the planet earth I guess…” The brown haired boy said as he looked at the new information flashing across his tablet.  
  
“You will need to undergo several trials before you can earn your redemption. Wait, are you coming closer? I see such courage, others may see your courage as recklessness… However… I welcome it. Now, onto the trial of your redemption, which tribe did oyu make your pact with? Answer me!”  
  
“... Huh? What do you mean by, ‘Pact’?”  
  
“Answer me now! Though I shall cast you into a watery grave once you do!”  
  
“Then it’s best if I don’t answer.”  
  
“I think he’s asking if you have a pet!” Komaeda said, stepping in between them, smiling at the chance to be helpful.  
  
“Pet? No… The only animal ‘ve taken care of was a hermit crab that we passed around in elementary school.”  
  
“So, a mere insect! Hah! Your Magic Essence capts at a lowly five! Trash!”  
  
“T-trash, really?”  
  
“THat’s good then we can be trash buddies together.” Komaeda said with a smile.  
  
“Still, you are better  than that beast woman of void there. Her magic potential is a zero! She offends, Gundham Tanaka Supreme Overlord of Ice!”

“Ahahahahaha! There’s no need to treat the new student with such suspicion. If we don’t know him, then he’s obviously just a new friend just waiting to be made.” The girl who was referred to as the beastly woman, offered him a friendly smile. “The name is Kurokami Medaka, I was born too… uhm… well I’m not sure anymore.”  
  
Despite having a supreme aura of confidence about her, she seemed a bit… airheaded. No wonder Zenkichi seemed to be always behind her fussing over her.

 **Kurokami Medaka** **  
** **Talent: The End** **  
** **Mentality: Abnormal** **  
** **Likes: Animals, Her Siblings, Human Beings, Hitoyoshi Zenkichi** **  
** **Dislikes: The word ‘genius’** **  
** **  
** “Ah… she has so many likes listed. What a positive person.” He said, staring at the tablet in his hands.

Koamaeda waved all three of them off. “Well, Hitoyoshi-kun we’re going to keep looking. Perhaps if you can’t find any engines to the airplanes, Kurokami-san can try picking one of the planes up and throwing them in the air.”  
  
“Dude, be careful she might actually try that now, she can’t detect sarcasm at all.”  
  
“Wait… can she really do something like that?” A look of fear spread across the boy’s plain features as he was grabbed and dragged away again by Komaeda.

  
They walked along the pathway until they found what looked to be a general store. The sign read ‘Roccketpunch Market’. Immediately outside of the doors a girl burst out and fell right in front of the plain looking boy.  
  
“Oh no, I’ve fallen! Who knows what kinds of cuts and bruises I’ve gotten this time, can somebody patch me up?” She called out, as if she didn’t notice the two boys in front of her.

  
Another girl walked out a moment later, bandages covering every inch of her face except for her eyes, and a few lochs of purple hair that stuck out. “Yeah, sure… I don’t mind patching you up, if you let me remodel you a little bit first.”  
  
“Uhmm… no thanks actually I’m just fine.”  
  
“I could make a lot of improvements to that terrible personality of yours.”  
  
“Woha, you think of me enough to think I’m terrible? I’m so happy.” She stood up suddenly, scrambling to her feet in a clumsy way, just then noticing the boy looking at her. “Ahh,, uhhh, um.. Um… You know… I… I’m sorry.” She immediately burst into tears, covering her face with her bandaged hands.  
  
Next to him, Komaeda immediately started to look down on him. “Bullying a girl… not cool.”  
  
“...I didn’t do anything…” That plain looking boy was really good at pulling exasperating faces from nowhere.  
  
“Ah, so your name is… If it’s okay with you, may I please remember your name?”  
  
“O-of course, I don’t mind you remembering it but…”  
  
“My name is Tsumiki Mikan. Um…. from the bottom of my heart, I hope we can get along. Um… you know… Um… um um um...My mind is drawing a blank from nervousness… and I went through the trouble of preparing 5,000 different topics to discuss after introductions.”  
  
“That seems excessive.”  
  
Komaeda immediately snapped in.”It’s alright, Tsumiki-san. If you take your time and remember slowly, this guy is a really patient one he even puts up with me. He’ll wait as long as it takes. He’ll wait for you forever if that’s what it takes.”  
  
“Huh… aaaaaah.”  
  
“Hey, you’re just putting more pressure on her.”  
  
Suddenly, his tablet beeped again. He looked down and saw the information flash across the screen.  
  
**Tsumiki Mikan** **  
** **Talent: Ultimate Nurse** **  
** **Mentality; Minus** **  
** **Likes: Bathroom Smells, Alcohol** **  
** **Dislikes: Oversized things** **  
** **  
** Komaeda looked over at Mikan. “Did you two find any clues to those other two? I’m surprised you haven’t found them yet, you’re really close to them aren’t you…”  
  
“Yeah, it’s pathetic isn’t it? Having those two people as my only friend. I wanted to look for them, but then I started thinking about how pathetic I was and then I noticed this store was having a sale on badnages.” Mikan played with her fingers as she rambled in an uneven way.  
  
Komaeda seemed to be the only one who did not pick up her strange attitude. He kept on smiling as always. “Mikan is the ultiate nurse, if you get wounded and don’t treat it, there’s a good possibility you’ll get an infection and die.”  
  
“Don’t say something so morbid naturally!” The boy said, looking exasperated. Perhaps that was his true talent after all.

“We’re so lucky then, to have an ultimate nurse and ultimate surgeon on this island.”  
  
Behind them, the girl with a bandaged face spoke up again. “If you actually do die on this island, I promise I’ll dissect your body to the best of my ability to further the cause of science.”  
  
“See, isn’t that nice of her to offer.” Komaeda said with a bright smile on his face.  
  
“You two both quit that!” The boy snapped at them again.  
  
“Heh, hehehe, heheehehehe!” Mikan broke into laughter suddenly. “Ah… sorry. I shouldn’t be laughing so suddenly, since you guys aren’t my friends. Ah, not that you actually want to be friends with me anyway! I’m sooo sorry I said something so… presumptuous! I’ll do anything you say… Just… please don’t hate me…!”  
  
“Bullyin a girl, not cool…”  
  
“Seriously, why does this keep happening? Oh.”

 **Naze Youka** **  
** **Talent: Ultimate Surgeon** **  
** **Mentality: Minus** **  
** **Likes: Sudden flashes of inspiration** **  
** **Dislikes: Wealth, Loving Family, Good Fortune, Good Looks** **  
** **  
** Komaeda looked back at the boy, reading the tablet over his shoulder. “Well, Tsumiki-san should calm down a little bit when we find those two.”  
  
“Why do you keep referring to them as those two?” The boy asked as the two of them began to walk away.  
  
“Well, they’re kind of infamous among us. Nobody really likes them except for Tsumiki-san and a few others. In fact, it’s probably their fault we’re in this mess in the first place…”  
  
“Wow… If a positive guy like you is suddenly saying stuff like that behind their backs, I’m starting to get scared…”

The two of them walked together again until they reached a hotel, that looked like a common area. On the very edge of it, a girl with plain dark hair was staring off into the distance. She was suddenly confronted by a girl with silver hair.  
  
“I’m surprised you’re not looking for those two. She’s your sister after all isn’t she?”  
  
The girl crossed her arms and looked away. “Are you sure there’s only two missing students… there should be a third one… where is he…” She looked off not wanting to make eye contact.  
  
The silver haired girl approached her from behind, grabbing at the shoulder. “Wait, do you know something that we don’t?”  
  
Immediately, the plain looking girl (who was probably smelly too) shoved the other girl off her shoulder violently, and turned around to glare daggers at her.  
  
Before anything could happen though, suddenly Komaeda was standing between the two of them. “Ah, you two! I would love to see your talents collide, but this isn’t the time right?”  He held out two hands for each girl. “Ikusaba Mukuro, and Pekoyama Peko.”  
  
“Ah. I see. This is the time for introductions.” SHe bowed her head politely. The boy immediately found her eyes to be intense despite her reserved nature.

 **Pekoyama Peko** **  
** **Talent: Ultimate Swordsman** **  
** **Mentality: Special** **  
** **Likes: Black** **  
** **Dislikes: Candy** **  
** **  
** “We are expected to live together on this island, correct?”  
  
“Yeah, you’re right…”  
  
“It is necessary for men and women who live together to respect each other. Don’t try anything inappropriate. I would prefer… not to kill anyone.”  
  
“Kill?” The boy suddenly looked nervous. He had a talent for looking nervous too, perhaps that was his true calling. “Isn’t that sword on your back made of bamboo?”  
  
“Though it may seem impossible to kill someone with this, a misaimed blow can be fatal. Well, an aimed blow can be fatal, too…”  
  
Suddenly, the girl with brown hair moved closer to speak up. She got so much in the boy’s face he suddenly noticed there were freckles dotting her cheeks. “I… I don’t want to kill anyone either… Um… hi…”  
  
**Ikusaba Mukuro** **  
** **Talent: Ultimate Soldier** **  
** **Mentality: Abnormal** **  
** **Likes: Her Sister, Army Knives** **  
** **Dislikes: Make-up**

The two of them moved further into Hotel Mirai. In the middle of the hotel floor, there was a girl playing an arcade game, looking completely absorbed by it. On the opposite end of the room, there stood a man with his face to the wall only showing his back to the others, and a baby faced boy in pin stripes was the only one actually diligently looking around the hotel like he had been asked.  
  
“Hey, you haven’t properly introduced yourself to her either, right?”  
  
“Y-eah… you’re right…” He walked to the girl, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Umm, excuse me? I’d like to introduce myself.”  
  
_I want to see it for myself._ _  
_ _Huh, what was that?_ _  
_ _  
_ “...”  
  
“Hey, Chiaki!” Komaeda brought his hands to his face and yelled a few centimteres away from her. That seemed to do the trick as the girl suddenly rurned back.  
  
“Oh, sorry… I must’ve been a little too focused on my game…”  
  
“A little…? Are you sure about that?” Komaeda said, with a friendly smile.  
  
“Let’s see… Oh, right introductions. Got it. I’m Chiaki Nanami, the Ultimate Gamer. Video games are my hobby, and I’m a fan of all genres.”  
  
“Uhh… nice to meet you, too…”  
  
“Yeah, totally…”  
  
“It seems like this conversation is going rather slow.”  
  
“Well, she’s gaming right now…”  
  
“It’s more like… I’m the kind of person who has to gather my thoughts before I can start talking. Like, I can’t talk that well unless I’ve already prepared everything I want to say in my head… Especially when I’m meeting new people… Well, if I get used to them, I can usually talk faster…”

 **Nanami Chiaki** **  
** **Talent: Ultimate Gamer** **  
** **Mentality: Special** **  
** **Likes: Games (Even crappy games)** **  
** **Dislikes: Alarm Clocks** **  
** **  
** “Yeah. well… whatever…” Her attention drifted away again as she went back to the machine.  
  
Suddenly, the baby faced boy turned around. “Hey you two, it’s not a fucking meet and greet! We’re supposed to be looking for the two lost students!” He said, running a hand through his shaved head in frustration.  
  
Komaeda sighed. “That’s the ultimate Yazuka for you, he’s great at giving orders.”  
  
“Wait, how is that a talent?” The boy asked, deadpan.  
  
**Kuzuryuu Fuyuhiko** **  
** **Talent: Ultimate Yakuza** **  
** **Mentality: Special** **  
** **Likes: Friend Doug Cookies** **  
** **Dislikes: Milk**

He was not particularly tough looking for a Yakuza except for one feature that made him look more adult. He had an eyepatch around one of his eyes, marked with an insignia of a curliing dragon. “Why am I the only one who ever does what he’s supposed to do?” Fuyuhiko wondered aloud again.  
  
“Uh… your eye, is it okay?”  
  
“It’s none of your fucking business that’s what it is.”  He said before stomping away.

  
The two of them walked to the restaurant. It was mostly empty except for the girl with a large amount of food piled in front of her.  
  
“Oh, that’s one of the Shiranuis.”  
  
“Huh, there are more than one? Are they like a family or something.”  
  
“Actually… I don’t really know a lot about them.” Komaeda admitted.  
  
That boy looked to his tablet, which dinged twice. He looked back and saw the man who stared at walls, had now followed them into the room and was staring at a different wall.  
  
**Shiranui Hansode** **  
** **Talent: Ultimate Eater** **  
** **Mentality: Minus** **  
** **Likes: Food, Zenkichi Hitoyoshi** **  
** **Dislikes: The Princess, Responsibilities** **  
** **  
** **Shiranui Hanten** **  
** **Talent: Ultimate Imposter** **  
** **Mentality: Not Equal** **  
** **Likes: Ajimu Najimi, Unique Things** **  
** **Dislikes: Showing his face to others**

Shiranui  Hansode looked up from her pile of food. “Eh.. what do you two want? I’m not sharing you know.”  
  
“That’s fine, good food is wasted on someone like me. Shouldn’t you be looking for the others though?”  
  
“Eh… that sounds like a lot of work. My two least favorite things are working hard an working hard.” The small girl sighed, laying her head on the table as if the idea of hard work alone was tiring her out.  
  
“Where else could they be….” The boy said, concern creeping into his voice.  
  
“Have you checked… I dunno… Their rooms.”  
  
“Oh.” The boy said.  
  
“Oh,” Komaeda said at the same time.

They walked back out of the hotel and onto the boardwalk where there were several individual rooms prepared for the students ahead of time. The boy let Komaeda guide him, and Komaeda stopped in front of a room with a similar name placard. "This should be Kumagawa's room."  
  
“Bear river... huh?” The boy repeated to himself. “Oh, wait what if their room is locked.”  
  
“Hmm, maybe we’ll get lucky and they forgot to lock it.”  
  
“There’s no way it’ll be that easy-”  
  
However, the boy was interrupted by Komaeda reaching forward for the door knob and turning it easily opening the door immediately. They peered inside, and as soon as a light beam cut through the darkness illuminating the otherwise dark room and showing what details were hidden inside, that boy let out a scream of horror.  
  
The scene he had found was something far worse than he expected.

♛

 

Enoshima Junko’s eyes fluttered awake. It was an extremely rare morning for her that she woke up with her head, almost completely empty. The moment she was what could be described as awake though she already began analyzing details. She felt warm, the temperature around her was hotter than usual, on but there was another reason. She felt comfortable as well. She figured out the reason why as soon as she turned her head and noticed there was somebody she was sleeping right next to, cuddled up against.  
  
_Ahhh… no wonder it’s so comfortable._ She thought. The blankets were draped around the both of them. Perhaps it was just coincidence but the way they flowed around them and the bed, looked like a scene out of a victorian painting. It was only natural though, such beautiful things always tended to happen around Enoshima Junko whether she wanted them to be or not.  
  
She searched her memories of last night, but she could only recall sensations, touching, feeling, those kinds of vague things. _Huh, weird..._ She thought rather absentmindedly. She was so used to her brain deducing everything for her in an instant, that sometimes she was so smart she went back around to being airheaded.  
  
That must have been the reason for her delayed reaction. That, and the corona of warmth that surrounded like a cocoon. Ah, but the person next to her was never meant to be a butterfly. He was more the type to stay a worm forever, perhaps if he was lucky he’d grow into one of those ugly moths.    
  
She brushed her red fingernails against his chest, as he was currently asleep and could not notice the affectionate gesture. She was tracing the scars that covered almost every centimeter of his body, each one had a miserable tale behind him. He was somebody who lived life, continually pierced y thousands of swords of human hate, pain, misery, that’s the kind of existence Kumagawa MIsogi was.  
_  
_ _Ah, wait a second._ Her brain finally caught up to the present moment. _Why can I see Kumagawa’s scars? Ah, it’s because he’s naked. Then, why is he naked? Then, following that same logic why am I naked? Oh, and we’re in bed together so..._ After that train of thought it did not take a genius with super analytical skill to figure out what had happened. Junko’s red eyes widened in slow horror as she became mortified with what had happened.  
  
At that exact moment, the door opened and that boy screamed.  
  
Kumagawa finally woke up. His blue eyes opening much more suddenly, and much wider.『Huh? Junko, what is it? What’s wrong I’ll-』 He looked to the brown haired boy, staring in horror at the both of them lying in bed together.  『Oh, it’s just Hinata-chan...』  
  
Hajime Hinata had just stumbled upon the most embarrassing scene possible. Before he could say anything else, Komaeda quickly came from behind and wrapped his hands around Hajime’s eyes. “Oh, sorry about that Hinata-kun. It looks like somebody else was getting lucky on this island.”  
  
“Wh…” Hinata was too exasperated again to even come up with a response to Komaeda’s joke.  
  
Junko had turned her attention back to Kumagawa. Just like her sister, she stared at him with a terrifying pair of daggers in her eyes. “What… what did you do?”

『Umm… you… I guess...』  
  
Her face reddened as she looked to Kumagawa, and then to the two boys in the doorway. “W-would you two get out!” One of her boots immediately was thrown from the floor to just bouncing off the door frame. “I might be a model but I don’t do these kinds of perverted scenes okay! Use somebody else, somebody stupid and easy to use like Mikan for your dumb fanservie scenes if you need them that bad!”  
  
Komaeda quickly closed the door, and dragged Hinata away. The next moment Kumagawa Misogi noticed the bed was no longer underneath him, as he had been kicked off of it in one confident kick by Junko. At this, he only smiled as usual.  
  
The two of them got dressed back to back. Junko pulled on her usual uniform, but as she could not find her bunny and bow hairpins, she went with her bear ones instead. She was also the first to look back, when she was Kumagawa buttoning up a black jacket.  
  
“What happens to your fish tank uniform?”  
  
Kumagawa immediately mock covered himself with his hands. 『Hey, you said no peeking!』  
  
“Well, I can peek if I want. You belong to me after all. Not that there’s anything to look at to begin with. In fact, you should be thankful that my beautiful eyes are even looking at someone like you. Hey, do you think you could just, photoshop yourself? You know, like erase yourself from my vision entirely with photoshop?”

『Nope, I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to photoshop reality.』Kumagawa said, responding quite normally to her frantic, stream of consciousness style of speaking. He was after all quite used to it. 『Besides, I think you actually like looking at me. I can’t disappear on you because then you’d be lonely.』  
  
“Only because your appearance and constant presence is completely despair inducing, like, ugh, why do I have to keep hanging out with this loser? Just apologize already! Apologize for plaguing me with your existence, Apologize for the life you've led up until now!"

『I won't apologize for that life, because that's the life that led me to meeting you.』 Junko groaned in phsyical pain in response to that line, but Kumagawa kept on smiling. Kumagawa finished pulling the black jacket on over his body, and buttoned the final button.『That Fish Tank Uniform… I don’t need it anymore...』However, the jacket he was wearing had a V neck and revealed a lot of the button up collar he wore underneath. He walked along the floor and picked up one of the ties that Junko wore, an asymmetrical black and white. 『Can I borrow this?』  
  
“Ugh, the idea of you wearing something to match me and therefore laming up one of my outfits completely fills me with despair. So sure, why not.”

『Umm…can you… uh...』  
  
“Do you seriously not know how to tie a tie?”  
  
Kumagawa offered her an innocent looking smile.  
  
“Ugh. How are you so bad at literally everything?”

『It’s one of my cute character quirks.』  
  
She wrapped the tie around his neck loosely, and then, took a step closer to him and worked on the knot with an intimate touch. Then, she started to pull it tight.

『Ah! Junko! Junko! Too Tight, Too tight! I can’t breathe!』  
  
From outside the door, a worried look spread across Hinata’s face. “Are those two okay?”  
  
“Probably not.” Komaeda said with a lost looking face.  
  
“What’s going on in there?”  
  
“Probably nothing good…”  
  
Soon the door flung open with Junko dragging Kumagawa out, and the four of them walked to their meeting place arranged by the rest of the group. On the way looking bored with her hands folded behind her head, Junko scoped out the back of Hajime’s head.  
  
“So… whose the rando, Misogi?”

『You mean Hinata-chan.』  
  
“Do you know him? He a friend of yours or something?”

『Huh. Why would I know him, I don’t even have any friends.』  
  
“You referred to him with -chan, just now.”  
  
Hinata looked back nervously at the two who were referred to as the missing students. He picked up his tablet and tried to search for their names again.

 **Enoshima Junko** **  
** **Talent: Ultimate Fashionista** **  
** **Mentality: Abnormal** **  
** **Likes: Nothing in Particular** **  
** **Dislikes: Nothing in Particular** **  
** **  
** **Kumagawa Misogi** **  
** **Talent: ??????ERROR???** **  
** **Metanlity: Minus** **  
** **Likes: Noisy places, Ugly People, Enoshima Junko** **  
** **Dislikes: Beautiful places, Beautiful People, Enoshima Junko** **  
** **  
** He noticed on Kumagawa’s screen, there were several more glitches just like the ones present on his own. Not only that but he had a strange way of speaking, everything he said sounded insincere. There were several things about the appearance of the boy in the pitch black uniform that screamed ‘something off’ at Hajime, even though he could not put a definite word on it. After all the boy was just walking behind him, smiling at him and not doing anything else.  
  
They finally arrived at the  beach together once more. Hinata did not have time to admire the scenery as he was too busy looking at everybody who had arrived, the people jhe had met already.  
  
Sitting in center of the group, Ajimu Najimi giggled to herself. “Oh I see. You two were off somewhere misbehaving together.”  
  
“What’s that supposed to mean…” Junko said, glaring at her. Meeting red eyes with red eyes.  
  
“That you two were doing naughty things.”  
  
“God, why don’t you just go die in a black hole somewhere. I thought we already decided this, I rule and you drool. Some people don’t know when to quit.”

『Ah.. You two… is it really time to start up your rivalry already we just got here.』Kumagawa said stepping in between the two of them.

Ajimu Najimi put a hand on the side of her face as she reclined in the sand. She looked bored once more, much to the frustration of some of the students present as she was the only one who seemed to know what was going on. “Uhh… so let’s see this is the part where I explain the rules. Rule one, littering is not allowed. Let us coexist with this island’s bountiful nature in mutual prosperity. Everybody get along and live peacefully, as boring as possible.”  
  
“Wh-what’s with these rules?!” Hinata yelled suddenly. “Who cares about that?!”  
  
Zenkichi crossed his arms, leveling his gaze and looking quite serious. “You should just let her talk. She gets like this sometimes, talking about rules and stuff. It’s a symptom of her disease. She probably thinks we’re in a video game right now or something.”  
  
“Wait, what kind of disease is that?” Hinata asked.  
  
“Sssh, don’t say it too loud. You should be considerate of others feelings.”  
  
“That’s unnecessary Hitoyoshi-kun. I know reality is reality now.”  
  
Shiranui Hansode suddenly raised her hand up between the two of them. “Hey, what’s this present you mentioned earlier? Is it candy? Please tell me it’s candy.”  
  
“Ah. Don’t be upset, Shiranui. It’s not candy but it’s something just as fun. Well, we’ve come all the way to this island, so we should probably have a beach episode or something. We didn’t get to have one of those yet.” She snapped her fingers, and suddnely several bags fell down from the sky. The only person among them who thought this was weird was Hajime, as the rest were used to Ajimu Najimi’s abnormal existence.  
  
“I-... is this really the time to go swimming?” Hajime said, his nerves creeping into his voice once more.

  
“Yeah, I don’t want anybody looking at my perfect body.” Enoshima Junko said, leaning on Kumagawa Misogi’s shoulder. “Especially not any perverted boys.”  
  
『If we’re talking about perverts aren’t there two exhibitionists here already, Medaka-chan and Junko? They probably will want to show off and let it go straight to their heads.』

  
“Wh-what are you saying, Kumagawa?” Medaka suddenly turned her head around. “I don’t like stripping, I only like being looked at!”

“Exactly Misogi! I only like showing off how perfect my body is to inspire despair in others who will never be like me, besides, I’m a model it’s just my job okay!”

  
Suddenly, accepting the strange offer. A great number of the kids present took off from the beach and went to the hotel to change. The only ones who lingered were Komaeda and Hinata, then Junko and Kumagawa.  
  
“What are you going to do, Hajime-kun?” Komaeda asked, being unusually considerate.

  
“...”  
  
“I understand how you feel, and I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do...but if you feel up for it I’d be happy if you came along too.”  
  
_There is no danger waiting on this island._ _  
_ _There is nothing tragic waiting to happen on this land._ _  
_ _Is that really true?_ _  
_ _Am I actually wrong?_ _  
_ _  
_ Kumagawa Misogi was dragged along to the edge of the beach by Enoshima Junko’s hand. He did not seem to mind, only passively speaking as they walked together. 『Aren’t you going to go swimming?』  
  
“Please, you haven’t earned seeing me in a swimsuit yet.”

『Oh, okay I guess...』  
  
“Come on Misogi! Let’s build a sand castle together.”  
  
『Aren’t you just going to destroy it?』  
  
“Duh! That’s the fun part!”  
  
『Okay, if you say so. You seem to be in a good mood.』  
  
“Of course, I’m freaking ecstatic. My heart’s beating a mile a minute…”

『What exactly about a happy time on the beach together is making you so excited...』  
  
“Umm, that’s just the kind of girl I am. I’m cheerful, energetic and love spending time with others!”

『More like you’re bored, cranky, and like holing yourself up alone in your room and acting like the mastermind...』Kumagawa muttered to himself, as he looked out on the beach that he was sure was about to be swallowed in tragedy at any moment. 『Well..as long as you’re happy.』  
  
By the time everybody got back, and Hinata still stood in indecision, the rest of the students had gotten in the water except for Junko and Kumagawa who were building an incredibly lopsided sand castle together.  
  
HInata looked at the others in the water, Komaeda included enjoying themselves.  
_It feels like a resort there’s no way to describe it._ _  
_ _Feeling the other students having so much fun._ _  
_ _I… I…_ _  
_ _I don’t care anymore._ _  
_ _I’m gonna go for it!_ _  
_ _I’m gonna seriously enjoy myself and have fun!_ _  
_ _Who cares if I don’t remember what I’m doing with these people or don’t feel like I belong!_ _  
_ _  
_ “Heey you guys, don’t forget about me! Hey wait for me let me join in the fun!” As Hinata rushed towards the beach he paused. Suddenly, the sky grew cloudy. “What is this? What’s going on? What did you do? This is obviously not right! It was sunny just a few minutes ago!”  
  
Just then, lightning struck down from the sky.  
Exactly where Ajimu Najimi had been sitting watching all of them. Something emerged from the lightning with a strong sense of drama, and then threw Najimi straight into the sand castle that Kumagawa and Junko had been building, destroying it completely with her face.  
  
Standing on top of Ajimu Najimi’s head, was a small stuffed bear. On one side, the bear was pure black evil, on the other side the bear was pure white and cute looking. The bear immediately struck a pose similar to a disco dancer. “Thank you! Fuck you! The villain has arrived.”  
  
“Monokumaaaaaa!” Enoshima Junko squealed in delight. "Finally this adventure just got so much more marketable."

『Ah, so that’s why she was so happy. We’re all going to die aren’t we?』Kumagawa said, before smiling again. 『Oh well, by my standards this is still a good day.』

  
“What the hell kind of reaction is that! What standards are those!?” Hinata Hajime screamed behind him. Just as he had detected all along, this was only the start of what was going to be, an incredibly troublesome school trip.


	2. Jet Black Jabberwock (2 - Fate x Fate)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kumagawa and Komaeda's ruminations on fate are both Mawaru Penguindrum references!

_『I hate the word “fate.”』  
_ _『Birth, friends, lovers, wins and losses, good luck and bad luck』  
_ _『 If everything in our lives is scripted by fate beforehand, then why are we even born? 』  
_ _『 There are those born with talent, and those without, those born to beautiful families, and those born to ugly and cruel violence.』_ _  
_ _『If that’s all caused by fate, then the Goddess in charge of writing that scenario is incredibly cruel 』_ _  
_ _『Because, ever since that day, none of us had a future and the only certain thing was that all of our actions, all of our efforts, were meant to become nothing.』  
_ _  
_ Kumagawa Misogi thought, as he followed the rest of the children waking across the great land bridge. That scene had nothing new for him to see, so he felt incredibly removed from it. He was after all, used to seeing the worst things possible from humanity, danger, murder, bertrayal, all of it he endured before. So he wondered... the fact that he was like this, and the fact Junko too was like this, was it really their fault?

Weren't they just born this way? He always to lose, and she with a mind that would make her bored with the whole world. He wondered if he could really change a fate like that, watching the same thing over and over again, his repeated losses through life, soured him on the concept of fate. 

After Monokuma’s sudden announcement, they had all been summoned to Jabberwock park. The park was a circular plaza with trees around the edge, a natural paradise, with a strange statue in the middle depicting several beasts and a bear riding on top of them. The strange black and white bear sat on the center of the statue waiting for all of them.  
  
“Why, hello there! Thank you all for waiting! Long time, no see guys! I thought this stage would be better for a cool opening fight scene!”  
  
Kurokami Medaka was the first one to step forward. “Who are you?  
  
“My, my, are you always this forward? I know I’m a cute bear but try to contain yourself. I am Monokuma! I’m the headmaster of this academy!” He jumped down and coughed to clear his throat. “Ahem, now that I have made my dashing appearance the first thing I need to say is…This is so friggin’ lame! Lame, I say! Lamer than the lamest lamesauce!”

“Yeah, you tell ‘em Monokuma!” Junko yelled from the back row.  
Nervously, next to her Kumagawa put a hand over his mouth. 『Junko, maybe don’t cheer on the guy that’s trying to murder us you’re going to look suspicious.』  
  
“Hmmm, how is Monokuma here? Oh no, what a mystery, whatever will I do…” Ajimu Najimi said in a dry voice.  
  
Medaka looked back suddenly, urgency rising with her blood that boiled all too easily. “Who is this monokuma character?”  
  
“How can you not know Monokuma? He’s the most marketable and recognizable bear in the world!” Junko snapped from the back of the crowd again.  
  
“Awww! Shaddup! I’m livid, you know… And I’m about ready to barf thanks to your lukewarm above it all attitude. You think just because you got a lot of skills you can control the story however you want? Your stories are lame! Romantic comedies! Shonen battle arcs! Slice of life! Pshaw! Those kinds of stories aren’t popular nowadays! Just what’s with this “Heart throbbing school trip! Anyway!” Monokuma raised a single paw, several claws emerging from it. “I’m so bored, so hopelessly bored. You’ve gotta make this, you know… meet the demands of the world. Nobody wants to see highschool students living calm and peaceful lives, growing and maturing. What people want to see is, other people’s misery… and despair...”  
  
“What the hell is with this stuffed animal, nothing he says makes any damn sense!” Fuyuhiko said, vein bulging, barely holding himself back from starting a fight.  
  
Of course, as always it was Medaka who stepped forward first again. “Well, we don’t really need to understand this guy’s logic. So let’s hurry up and beat the rap out of him.”  
  
Behind her, Zenkichi started to panic again. “Wh, why! Even if we don’t understand what he’s talking about we still need common sense.”  
  
“Ahahaha, I’m just kidding. Don’t worry, I don’t want to waste everyone’s help here. I want to grow from the election a little bit, but… I’m pretty sure I can confront this person alone. So you all can just stay there and lay about if you want.”  
  
“Wait… Medaka-chan, what are you saying?”  
  
“I actually remember something quite clearly… I think I decided to come to this place on my own, knowing I’d risk there being a murderer in this group. So, as penance for dragging everyone with I’ll deal with this guy now.”

『That’s a bit of a logical leap Medaka-chan. What happened to your view that people were fundamentally good? 』  
  
“I don’t remember ever holding such a strange belief. But it is a pretty far fetched idea. However, being cautious isn’t a bad idea. Well, anyway the strongest should fight first so I’ll fight him off. Zenkichi, if something happens remember your childhood friend fought bravely and-”

Just then, three people suddenly jumped on Medaka from behind pinning her to the ground. Shiranui Hansode, Kumgawa Misogi, Ajimu Najimi all worked together to pin her. “Wha… What are you guys doing?”

In the background, Junko tilted her head in slight confusion. _Medaka’s acting a bit differently then I assessed from before. What does she mean she dragged people here?_

『Ahahahaahaha, Medaka-chan you can’t do that. You can’t tell us to watch you fight and die all alone because you don’t want to see us die, you can’t tell people as twisted as us something like that.』  
  
“Yeah, yeah! If you tell us not to fight we’ll only want to fight more. If we see someone wanting to fight, we’ll just rain on their parade. Ahya-hya!” Shiranui said, with a wide smile.  
  
Ajimu Najimi who was at the top of the pile, stood up with confidence facing the bear in front of her. “Exactly, one more thing Medaka-chan. You’re not the only one who wants to fight for you, or is happy fighting for you. With that said, the strongest should fight first, right? Then, I’ll be the tip of the spear. 7, 932, 135,441,523,224 Abnormalities and 4,925, 916, 526, 110, 642 minus, adding them together makes for 12, 852, 051, 967, 633, 867 skills which make up the complete version of myself. With only six rounds this should be over in no time.” Ajimu raised a finger to the side of her face. “If you want to become a junk character, come for me. But, even if I say that, I’m a small vessel, no matter how unfair the rules, I can only just deal with them.”  
  
That irregular person stepped up in front of the monument at the head of all of them. Then, she conjured a chair from nowhere and sat down. The moment she did, several chains burst from the ground each of them representing one of her skills.

**『Spec Over』Become God Skill. 『Tired play』Become the Devil Skill. 『Manual Memory』Know every answer Skill. 『Humor Contrast』Be stronger than the enemy skill. 『Worst Dream Is』Declare it’s only a dream skill. 『Infunity Quest』Control the infinite skill. 『Start Play』Confusion of cause and effect skill. 『Friendly World.』Make your enemies your allies skill. 『Welcome Hell.』Summon Hell skill. 『Auto Fumble』Make no mistakes skill. 『Time Bunny.』Manipulate time skill. 『My Alternative』Make a backup skill. 『Circus and Circus』Charisma Skill. 『Full Name Notorious』Steal names skill. 『Full Name Mysterious』Naming rights skill. 『Cool from zero cool』Subdue nothingness skill. 『Burst bust』Become big-breasted skill. 『Husky Voice Dimension』Cross dimensions skill. 『Archery Picking』Steal others’ experience points skill. 『Fafrotskies』Give life skill. 『Know How Vacuum』Absorb others skill 『Another Announce!』Go to the underworld skill. 『Lost Password』Turn enemy back to level one skill. 『Boiled Eye』Lay eggs skill. 『Eternal Eternal Life』Permanent world skill. 『Potential Hit』Draw out potential skill. 『Next Honest』World becomes reality skill. 『Area Free』Clairyvoyance skill. 『Listen by Chance』Enhanced hearing skill. 『Chirality Test』Double skill. 『Zero Sum Real』Power over life and death skill. 『Beautiful Last Scene』Self-destruct skill. 『Promotion Wars』Start a war skill. 『Left legs』Vanish from memories skill. 『Sequenced Catastrophy』Invalidate fate skill. 『Last Murder』Both sides kill each other skill. 『Most Large Holder』Mass Propagation skill. 『Dark Hole』Control black hole skill. 『Stage Advantage』Choose the stage skill. 『Second Life in Jail』Be reborn skill. 『Isolate Average Space』Manipulate probability skill. 『Free Climbing』Manipulate parameters skill. 『Intelligent Start』World creation skill. 『Initialize History』Change history skill. 『Illegal History』Change history skill. 『Illegal Alchemy』Synthesize life skill. 『Weak Pointless』Weak point erasure skill. 『Present For You』Bestow weak points skill. 『Feel Retaker』Do a retake skill. 『Deathst Moment』If you are seen they die skill. 『Every Time Slp Every Daydream』Time travel skill. 『Metastasis from Head to Tail』Take over bodies skill. 『Eight Hundred True』Prophecy skill. 『Rob Curtain』Skill robbery skill. 『King Mapping』Manipulate coordinates skill. 『Success Succeed』Fertilization skill. 『Undead Genius』Immortality skill. 『Tuning Character』Create a personality skill. 『Marching Bad』Control the dead skill. 『Murder Mathematic』Win against stronger people skill.『Baby Planet』Create a universe skill. 『Step by Step』Manipulate macroevolution skill. 『I Banish』Annihilation skill. 『Have A Break Breath』End the war skill. 『Innocent Remodel』Remodel humans skill.『Death Meeting』Continue fighting even if you die skill. 『Past Intervention』Summon a person of great importance skill. 『Exception Please』Create an exception skill. 『Dime Penalty』Pass divine punishment skill. 『Cold Game』Finish the game skill. 『Escape Goat』Scapegoat skill. 『Dying Message』Leave a will skill. 『Ero-Guro Mirage』Turn into a ghost skill. 『Grap Empty』Distort space skill. 『Occupercent』Fortune telling skill. 『Deep Pocket』Capacity skill. 『Stronghold In Mystery』Build a base skill. 『God Eye』Interfere with the narrative skill. 『Surprise Army』Directing troops skill. 『Shadow Influence』Thought infection skill. 『Defense Layer』Form a barrier skill. 『Transport Plan』Cotrol fate skill. 『Complete Jungle』All of creation skill. 『Dark Meister』Control dark matter skill. 『Sleeping Shell』Sealing skill. 『Rule Make』Create laws skill. 『Income Support』Stop aging skill. 『Drawing Off Course』Conjure materials skill. 『Sitting Winner』Fight while sitting skill. 『Portable Soul』Absorb souls skill. 『Hesitate Palace』Create a maze skill. 『Reaper Kitsch』 Revival skill. 『Cross Utopia』Summon shrine skill. 『Shining Backlight Enemy』Shining halo skill. 『Reset Question』Restart from the beginning skill. 『Last Final Operation』Burn life skill. 『Manpower』Simply strong skill. 『Marionette Exercise』Control human bodies skill. 『Everything Lost』Control heart skill. 『Skillful』Master skills skill. 『Unskilled』Don’t use skills, skill.**

The chains wrapped themselves around Monokuma, piercing him from absolutely every angle ripping his stuffing out. As that gruesome scene happened, Ajimu Najimi merely sat back in her throne like chair, and crossed her legs to lounge more comfortably.  
  
Why a chair, one might ask? It was a personal rule of hers. The ‘the final Boss never rises from the chair’ unless they are to be defeated.  
  
“Ahhhhh! This situation is no good! We’ve got a cheater on our hands! Somebody downloaded all the cheat codes!” Monokuma whined as he was thrown about by the sheer multitude of skills that Ajimu commanded.  
  
“It’s a sore loser that whines about cheating when they’ve lost…” Zenkichi said, readjusting his glasses as he couldn't quite believe the sight in front of him.

『That’s the complete version of Anshin’in-san. Popular Kanzen’in-san. Can you beat her, Medaka-chan?』Kukagawa said, scratching at the side of his cheek with a smile as he watched akwardly.  
  
“Nonnononononononono!” Kurokami Medaka fanned herself in shock. “I didn’t do anything wrong but I would prostrate myself before her.”  
  
“No, good, no good! Save me spears of Gugnir!”  The bear whined.  
  
Before anybody else reacted, Kumagawa Misogi moved. He left Medaka’s side, and tackled Ikusaba Mukuro who was sitting at the farthest edge of the group staring at the ocean  to the ground. As they bounced and skidded across the ground together, Mukuro grunted in pain. “Ow, what was that for?”  
  
However, the target of the spears was not Mukuro. Suddenly, Ajimu sitting on her chair was stabbed through every angle by several spears that had emerged seemingly from nowhere. “Huh? This is weird… why am I… Did I really...lose…” Her chair was torn to tatters and she fell off of it and onto the ground, the final boss defeated.  
  
Monokuma walked over, standing over her now. “Now, then, what to do after my flawless victory… First of all you’re too plain, no guy would think a girl with ribbons in her hair was cute. Second, I’m going to add rules just for you. I’ll make it so you can’t use any of your skills and interfere with the-”

『Ah, Monokuma-chan.』Kumagawa raised his hand suddenly.  
  
“He’s the headmaster show some damn respect!” Junko snapped at Kumagawa.  
  
『Ah, Monokuma sir!』Kumagawa raised his hand again.  
  
“Out with it already!” Monokuma said with increasing impatience.

『I wouldn’t make it so she can’t use any of her skills. If you take away her death block skill, or her skill that prevents her from aging she’ll just die.』  
  
“Fine, she can keep those. Otherwise she can’t-”  
  
『Also, she’ll need to keep her transformation skill. Ajimu Najimi’s true form is quite cute, oh but it’s like one of those eldritch abominations that shows up in lovecraftian lore once you look at it you’re driven permanently mad and your brain becomes impossible to reformat. That would get in the way of things for you, right? 』  
  
“Tch! Well fine, she can keep those four skills! Rule #5, Ajimu Najimi is not allowed to use any of her skills except for four, the skill the makes her immortal, the skill that makes her ageless, the skill that lets her transform and the skill that lets her have and trade multiple skills.Moving on!” Monokuma ripped the ribbon from Ajimu’s fallen body, letting her hair run wild. At that moment, he grabbed a rabbit hair pin and stuck it in her hair instead.  
  
“Ugh…” Ajimu muttered. “Rabbits are so tacky.”  
  
“I think they’re cute…” Mukuro said softly, still under Kumagawa with absolutely not a single clue what was going on.  
  
Kyoko was the only one closely paying attention to the absolute farce being performed in front of them, and she was the one who knew the least about skills, Monokuma and the killing game that had been averted in the past. “Why are you listing off rules right now? Stop screwing around and get straight to the point.”  
  
“Awe, but it’s my tendency to ramble in fun pop cultural reference laden tangents that makes me so unbearably loveabear. Well, well, from this point onward. The killing school trip will now commence! This is Jet Black Jabberwock! Naturally you guys are the contestants…”

 _Killing school trip?_ Hajime Hinata thought, wanting to reach out for something to hold onto. He looked to Komaeda standing next to him, though in the low light of the cloudy sky he could not see his face.

“Well, don’t you think it’s kinda lame and boring that you can’t leave this island unless you all get along? So I’m changing the rules! If you want off this island, then please kill one of your friends! And then make it through the class trial without getting caught.”

At this point, Kumagawa raised his hand again. 『Ah, that should be fine then. It doesn’t matter if we kill each other because I’ll just erase the deaths with all fiction. We should just all cooperate and murder each other, then erase the deaths then leave that’s reasonable right?』  
  
“What the hell kind of plan is that?” Hajime said, snapping at Kumagawa’s mad sounding suggestion.  
  
Monokuma’s distorted red eye narrowed. “I’m with Hajime on this.”  
  
“Hey, we are not on the same side!” Hajime snapped again.  
  
“Rule #6 Kumagawa Misogi is not allowed to use All Fiction at any time, whether he’s dead or alive.” The bear outlined another rule.  
  
It was CHiaki who asked the next question. “Class trial?”  
  
“Yes! The trial is the real charm point of this killing trip. WHen a murder occurs, then the surviving students will come together and hold a trial. There you guys will determine the “blackened”, whom you assume to be the murdered. If the “blackened” you suspect is guilty, only the “blackened” will be punished. But, if the “blackened” is innocent, then everyone else, all the “white” will be punished, and then only the “blackened.” will be allowed to exit this island.”  
  
Rule #7 Once a murder takes place, a class trial will begin shortly thereafter. Participation is mandatory for all surviving students.  
Rule #8 If the blackened is exposed during the class trial, they alone will be executed.  
Rule #9 If the blackened is not exposed, the remaining students will be executed.  
Rule #10 As a reward, the surviving blackened will be forgiven of their crime and allowed to leave the island.  
  
Hajime reached into his pocket and pulled out the E-pad once more, reading the rules that had appeared on screen one by one. There were also, the previous rules that had been laid about by Ajimu still in tact.  
  
Rule #1 Extreme violence is prohibited on the island. Please live peaceful and relaxing lives with your fellow students.  
Rule #2 Be considerate of each other and work together to obtain Hope Fragments.  
Rule #3 Littering is not allowed. Let us coexist with this island’s bountiful nature in “Mutual Prosperity.”  
Rule #4 The lead teacher cannot directly interfere with the students. An exception to this rule is made if any student violates a rule.  
Last Rule Additional School Trip Rules may be added at the Headmaster’s discretion.  
  
“Puhuhu! Ahem, any method of killing is fine. Popular ones like bludgeoning, stabbing, strangling and poisoning…”  
  
Just then, it was Enoshima Junko’s hand that shot up to interrupt Monokuma. “Monokuma, sir! Thank you for being all cute and marketable but can I ask a question to clarify a few more rules. Namely, how many people need to see a body before a body discovery announcement plays?”  
  
“Uh… Three or more.”  
  
“Then, does the murderer count as one of the three.”  
  
“No, they do not. The murderer can linger around the corpse as long as they want without setting off the alarm.”  
  
“What about if multiple people gang up and attack a body. Say, there was a rasputinian death, and somebody shot, somebody stabbed, and somebody poisoned, then all three discover the body later do they all count as the murderer?”  
  
“No, the only one who counts as the blackened is the one who deals the killing blow as we can only execute one person per trial.”  
  
“What if the killing is masterminded by somebody who doesn’t touch the body, but arranges entirely for the crime and tells the people involved what to do?”  
  
“Well, ya can’t get ahead in this world by relying on others! The mastermind won’t count as the blackened, only the one dealing the killing blow does. Does that answer all your questions, missy?”  
  
Junko suddenly stopped standing up, and just sat down on the ground with her legs crossed. She stopped even paying attention to the scene in front of her, her expression completely blank. “Alright… bored now.”

It was Kumagawa who finally got off of Mukuro and rushed to her side.『What happened you were so excited a moment ago? 』  
  
“Well, yeah but I just realized… I don’t want to be in a killing game, I want to mastermind a killing game. Being in a killing game is booooooring, Misogi.” She said, whining as she grabbed onto his leg to lean against him.  
  
Just then, Hinata checked his E-book once more. Several more rules were added all at once right from the beginning.  
  
Rule #11 The Body Discovery Announcement will play as soon as three or more people discover a body for the first time, the murderer who dealt the killing blow does not count.  
Rule #12 If multiple people attack a target, only the person who dealt the killing blow will be considered the blackened.  
Rule #13 If there is a mastermind who plots out a murder and executes it using another, only the person who dealt the killing blow will be considered the blackened still.  
  
“Friends… Killing each other?” Medaka was the taken aback, as the rest of the students behind her about how casual some people were treating this. A terrifying aura leaked out of her as she started to get to her feet once more and step forward. “There’s no way I’ll allow that to happen.”  
  
“Ah, is that so…? Well, I guess I expected this reaction. Surge… O gods who dwell between light and darkness… In accordance with our contract I summon thee now...” Monokuma turned away from her looking to the statue of tangled beasts standing over them. A crack ran down the statue, breaking and summoning four different mechanical looking monstrosities which jumped out from the shattered rubble behind him.  
  
One resembled a horse, a snake, a tiger, and a gorilla. They jumped down, flanking Monokuma from all sides, crushing Ajimu Najimi once more underneath one of their giant mechanical feet.  
  
“I’m going to fight those robots!” Medaka announced, completely unfazed.  
  
“Don’t fight! Don’t fight the robots!” Zenkichi said, appearing behind her and wrapping his arms around her to restrain her once more.

“Fine then…” Medaka said, looking to the students around her. “There’s nobody here as strong as me, I’ll simply prevent anybody from killing another. This killing game will never start we’ll live on this island peacefully forever just to spite you.”  
  
“Hmmm…. You’re right. I guess you need some incentive.” Suddenly, the robots jumped forward into the crowd. With their great fangs, they lifted three students up into the air. Shiranui Hanten, Shiranui Hansode, and Saihara Shuichi. In an instant, the three students were plucked away and hidden behind Monokuma’s back again.  
  
Zenkichi’s eyes widened as he saw his beloved friend snatched away in an instant. “What the hell are you doing! Give me back my friend!”  
  
“Puhuhuhuhu! It’s her fault, her fault, not my fault it’s hers! You said you needed motivation to kill so here it is. I’m going to take three hostages! Well, there were too many kids anyway. Sixteen, sixteen is the ideal number and look at that.”  
  
Hinata quickly scroll through all of the pages of people he had gathered. Enoshima Junko, Zenkichi Hitoyoshi, Kurokami Medaka, Chiaki Nanami, Mikan Tsumiki, Naze Youka, Kirigiri Kyoko, Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu, Ikusaba Mukuro, Pekoyama Peko, Hajime Hinata, Komaeda Nagito, Tanaka Gundham, Kumagawa Misogi, Shuichi Saihara, Shiranui Hansode, Shiranui Hanten. He counted seventeen students in total, though he had to count twice just to be sure.  
  
“So, I’ve decided to whittle the number down to thirteen. That will be our new symbolic number from now on.”

Kumagawa Misogi raised his hand once again. 『Even if you take those three there will still be fourteen of us.』  
  
“You! Don’t! Count! Why are you here in the first place? You’re not supposed be here. Nobody wants you here!”

『Ah, well that’s how it always is. I’m the hated and despised one who doesn’t belong.』  
  
“Sheesh! Who needs a river bear anyway! The rare black and white headmaster bear is the only bear that’s necessary! From now on there are thirteen students, and one Kumagawa.” Monokuma jumped back onto the statue to lounge around. “Well, that should be enough exposition for the day. Oh, and one more thing. There’s a traitor amongst you guys! Please, be careful…”  
  
Immediately, Medaka, Naze, Zenkichi, Komaeda and Mikan all turned their heads at the same time.

“It’s Junko.”  
“Umm… it’s Junko.”  
“Like Medaka said, it’s definitely Junko.”  
“Hope’s enemy is Junko!”

  
Junko tilted her head. “Huh? What did I do?”

 

♛

 

They had all reconvened at different areas of the island. Hinata Hajime and Koameda left to talk together again, which meant those who were aware of Junko’s true nature, Mikan, Kumagawa, Naze, Zenkichi, Mukuro and Medaka had all met together in private blocking off the door to the restaurant with a backwards chair in order to confront her.  
  
“Come on guys, what proof do you really have that I’m the traitor? It’s mean, everybody ganging up on me and bullying me because I’m just a cute girl, you know.” She sat on a chair in the middle of them all with her arms crossed, holding both of her hands in the air in mock innocence. Her blonde pigtails, falling in tresses around her their ends the slightest color of red, and the black uniform and red skirt tightly tugging her body as always.  
  
The only person who was actually on her side at the moment was Kumagawa Misogi. His uneven and shaggy hair, along with a plain face did little to bely how dangerous his appearance was. His pitch black uniform instead, gave him a much more shady feel. He stood behind her with his hand on her chair watching silently.  
  
“You’re the one who remodeled the old school into a death trap.” Zenkichi said, adjusting his glasses and then pointing at her.  
  
“What’s your proof for that?”  
  
“Literally, every time we were about to fight on one of the execution contraptions you built, you said ‘Don’t break this, the person who built them put a lot of effort into designing these’. I heard you, ya know I’m not that stupid.”  
  
“Oh you could have fooled me. That was just me trying to be a considerate person. I hate destroying other people’s property the most.”

Medaka stepped up to the accusation next, grabbing at one of her pigtails and pulling on it for emphasis.  
  
“Ow! Don’t touch just because you’re jealous, she beast.”  Junko said, reacting to the small amount of pain.

“You are literally wearing Monokuma hair pins right now.”  
  
“I can’t help it that he’s just so cute!” Junko said, looking like a teenage girl for a moment who obsessed over cute things, instead of the misery fetishist she really was.  
  
Naze crossed her arms again, looking with one eye from underneath her bandages. “That’s probably not even the real Junko. She just had Mukuro dress up as her and pull one of those classic twin switch tropes. Kurokami-san, check if that’s a wig.”  
  
Medaka pulled even harder on the blonde pigtail she had in her hand, causing Junko to kick her legs and whine in pain. “Ow! Ow! Ow! Quit it you brute! Get you lumberjack hands off my hair!”

“Umm… guys… I’m right here…” Mukuro spoke up softly, as most of this conversation she had been watching quietly from the opposite side of the room, staring out the window of the restaurant and keeping to herself.  
  
Medaka let go of Junko’s pigtail, but in her frustration raised a fist in the air. “I don’t need proof, I know you’re my enemy. I’ll end it, right here, right now…”  
  
“Killing the mastermind in the first round? And what if you’re wrong? I thought you were supposed to be the girl genius, guess you were kind of overrated…” Medaka’s terrifying aura did not reach Junko at all, she just sat in her chair continuing to taunt her.  
  
Until Medaka lost herself to anger and swung forward. However, the person who received the blow was not Enoshima Junko, but rather Kumagawa Misogi who had stepped in front of her in an instant. His body was knocked back, and his head slammed hard into the floor leaving a crack in the wooden fooring of the restaurant. A moment later though, completely on his own after receiving such a devastating blow, Kumagawa Misogi stood up again.  
  
Junko bit her lip at the sight of somebody else inflicting pain on her favorite toy. Her eyes downcast, looked away from the crack Kumagawa had left on the floor, or the blood flowing from his forehead. “Really, whoever this mastermind is what were they thinking, leaving all of your memories intact? If it were me I would have wiped your memories so you’d be more likely to kill each other, and you’d forget about your suspicions towards me.”

『Junko it’s because you keep saying stuff like that, that people think you’re the mastermind.』Kumagawa sighed from behind her, as he wiped the blood from his forehead and slicked his hair back with it. Junko decided to look away once more, one because she did not want to acknowledge Kumagawa was right, and two because he looked cute all covered in blood like that and she did not want to acknowledge that either.

“No, it’s just because they’re all jealous of how cute I am.” She said, putting her blood red lips out to pout.  
  
Medaka held her fist back this time, looking at Kumagawa who was standing in the way. Suddenly just then Mikan stood up as well, hanging onto Kumagawa’s side. “Wait… umm… even if Junko is the mastermind can’t we just forgive her? Maybe we can all use this time on a deserted island to all bond together… I mean when we’re not killing each other I guess…”  
  
Medaka’s teeth were grit so hard everyone in the room heard a physical crack in her jaw. “So, you two will stand in the way no matter what I do?”

『Ah, sorry Medaka-chan. It’s just that I’ve always been really attracted to troublesome woman.』  
  
“Oi, who are you calling troublesome!” Junko said, offended, stomping one of her heels on the ground.  
  
Medaka turned around suddenly, her hair trailing behind her dramatically. Her every step had prominence, great strength behind it like a lioness. “Fine. You won’t be protected by your friends forever, Enoshima Junko.”  
  
“They’re not my… Oooh is that a threat? How scary, gorilla woman.”  
  
With that, Medaka left, Zenkichi and Naze following her. Kumagawa looked back at Mukuro surprised that she had not done anything when Medaka was making threats at her sister. 『Is everything alright, Mukuro-chan?』  
  
“.....stupid junko….” Mukuro finally muttered under her breath, before leaving the room without looking up at any of them.  
  
Kumagawa looked back at Junko.『What did you do?』

  
“I didn’t do anything! Gosh, what is today, blame Junko day? What crawled up everybody’s asses and died.”  
  
“Umm.. I think it’s because… umm… everybody woke up on an island without any memory of how they got there… and then a bear told them to kill each other…”  
  
“No, that can’t possibly be it. That's an objectively good thing that happened, in fact it's the only good thing that happened in a long while.”

 

♛

 

Standing with Hajime Hinata, Komaeda Nagito thought this.

 _“I love the word’ ‘Fate’. Because, you know how they talk about “fated encounters?”_ _  
_ _“ A single encounter can completely change your life. There’s no way something so important could come about by mere coincidence.”_ _  
_ _“ A hope filled encounter, two people bringing the best out of one another, that’s definitely… fate.”_ _  
_ _“ Of course, life is not all happy encounters.”_ _  
_ _“There are those who are lost, those who are stepped over..”_ _  
_ _“ But this is what I think: sad and painful things always lead to something better..”_ _  
_ _“Nothing in this world is pointless, our actions here will never become nothing.”_

Just one encounter with a person could change your entire life, that was true. For example, an encounter holding an umbrella in the rain, over somebody who had recently lost consciousness, or an encounter meeting a new boy with no memories washed up alone on a beach.  
  
“Hajime-kun… Your face is still pale. I sort of understand your feelings, but if you think too much about what happened today you’ll end up even more tired…” Komaeda said, sitting with his hands in the pockets of his black pants as he talked on the pathway.  
  
The other boy stood with his hand just above his shoulder reaching up to touch his face. He pausd for a moment from his fretting. “Ah… I’m always worrying you, Komaeda. Sorry… and thank you.”  
  
“No… I haven’t done anything that I need to be thanked for.” He said, raising his finger up to just about his mouth as he thought. “Well, it’s no wonder you’re worried. You normally wouldn’t be extorted into a death match all of a sudden.”  
  
At this, Hajime’s expression fell. Unlike all the others who shouted at Monokuma and at least tried to stand their ground and defend others while he threatened the whole groupe he had just sat in the background observing. He was already starting to feel inferior to the others on this island. They all had amazing talents apparently, that could help them survive this situation but Hinata could not even remember what his was. As long as that was the case, he was a blank, a zero. In other words he was helpless.  
  
Yet, Komaeda was next to him, he saw his troubled expression and even though he claimed he was not good at interacting with others he continued to try to help him, and speak with him.“This is what I think, because it’s a situation like this, someone with talents like you guys can shine.”

 _For dealing with someone like me, Komaeda must me a kind person._ Hinata thought, as he reached up to play with one of the locks of hair hanging from his sideburns. “Eh?... what did you just?”  
  
“If all of the ‘Ultimate Students’ join forces… it should be possible for a ‘Hope that can overcome any trouble’ to be born. Because you are… the symbol of hope…” Komaeda played with his fingers as he spoke, and slowly intertwined them together.  
  
“The symbol of hope?”  
  
“Komaeda… I’m not as strong as you think I am… I haven’t even remembered my own ability yet… and I can’t remember anybody else here.”  
  
“Hinata-kun… since there is no doubt you’ve been accepted into Hope’s Peak Academy you should have a wonderful ability. Plus, we have companions, we’re not alone. This is probably a test for us to grab ahold of hope.” He held his palm open for Hinata to see, as if he were grasping at something.  
  
As he thought of that, Hinata tried to be reassured by Komaeda’s words, but, his mind only conjured even more reasons to be insecure. “But… Monokuma said there was a traitor among us. How can we all come together if there’s a traitor. Are we all really Hope’s Peak students.”  
  
“Well… technically there is one outsider. You know, Kumagawa Misogi?”  
  
“Yeah… for some reason that guy rubs me the wrong way. I can’t say why though.”  
  
“It’s probably because you could detect it, that boy has no talent at all. He was never accepted into Hope’s Peak Academy, so Monokuma was right at least when he said he doesn’t belong on this trip.”  
  
“Then… would that make him the traitor.”  
  
Komaeda paused for a moment, putting a finger on the side of his cheek and tilting his head. “I dunno.”  
  
“But you sounded so confident a moment ago. Wait, how do you know about Kumagawa, do you know that guy?”  
  
“Well…” Komaeda’s warm expression, became conflicted. He told Hinata once that he often took a pessimistic view, and at this moment he seemed to be holding back that pessimism for the sake of the other boy. “In the past, Kumagawa tried to be my friend, but it didn’t really work out.”  
  
“Huh? What’s wrong, did you guys get into a fight or something?”  
  
“More or less.”  
  
Hinata’s face suddenly changed, and he stepped forward putting a hand on Komaeda’s shoulder. The touch was so unexpected that Komaeda did nothing to react to it but stare blankly forward. “I… I still don’t like that guy, but if you had a fight with him in the past you should talk with him and work things out. It’s not like you have that many friends to begin with anyway, Komaeda. If he was a friend of yours, it makes me sad to think you don’t get along anymore, you should try listening to how he feels.” Hinata gave that advice suddenly, completely unsolicited, and Komaeda did not know exactly what to say.  
  
“Ah… thank you… for worrying about the feelings of trash like me I suppose.” He slipped out of Hinata’s grip and stepped away for a moment, putting a curled finger to his forehead as he tried to think. “Oh yeah… we should head to the dorms…”  
  
Speak of the devil though, just at that moment, Kumagawa and Junko walked by heading to the exact same destination. Komaeda wanted to pretend not to notice them for now, but as he lingered a few steps away from Hajime, thinking to himself, suddenly Junko bumped shoulders against him.  
  
“Hey, Koameda-senpai what’s got you all excited?”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“When Monokuma appeared suddenly and said we were going to be in a killing game, I saw you, you were smiling.”  
  
“N… no I wasn’t…”  
  
“Right now too… you’re smiling. Hey, is it really hope that’s making you smile, or is it despair?”  
  
Before Komaeda could say anything in response, Junko brushed him away and continued on walking. He took a step away from both Hinata, and Junko, trying to isolate himself even further. His head, he needed to clear his head. He pulled his hand off of his face slowly, and looked down at his reflection in a nearby shut off announcement monitor. He was smiling, a sick and twisted smile had crawled up his face and he grinned from ear to ear. He slapped the sides of his cheeks to make himself stopped and rushed over to Hinata’s side once more, hoping the other had not noticed.

 

♛

 

“Sooooo, aren’t you going to try to talk about it?” Junko asked because she was bored, that was the only possible reason for a person like her. Trying to extrapolate anything else, Junko’s a one note character, she’s perfect that way we’ve been over this before.  
  
『Hmmm, talk about what?』Kumagawa said, tilting his head forward to catch a glimpse of her features.  He was probably just in awe of how beautiful and perfect she was in comparison to him, and how he really should have been walking about five more meters back. Ah, but arrogantly he thought his place was next to hers. Because of that, if the person watching them did not know anything about them they could have been mistaken for a pair of teen sweethearts taking a walk together on the beach.   
  
“Well, I mean there’s a lot of stuff. Y’know liiiiike, the fact that we’re in a death game, the traitor, what happened last night.”

『You mean when we had se-』  
  
“Sssh! Not everybody on this island needs to know. It’s bad enough that Rando and Komaeda-senpai know. That's the fault of his dumb luck though."

『You mean that he saw us get lucky...? Ah, His name is Hinata-chan.』  
  
“See, you clearly remember more than I do. So why don’t you just tell me already? I hate not knowing things almost as much as I hate knowing things.”

『Because you’re fussy...』  
  
“Am not! Come on, aren’t you always the one whose trying to talk about feelings, and understand me? Cause you wuv me so much?  Just do more of that, I’m terrible at this boring feelings junk.” Junko folded her hands behind her head causally as she continued to walk. Her eyes looked empty as she recalled, like she was looking into a daydream. “All I remember is… the election, and then I tried to kill myself and you stopped me, and uhhh…you ruined my innocence."

『So says the least innocent person in the world...』  
  
“Then we woke up together, and that’s all I remember! So, now your turn.”

『That’s all I remember too.』 Kumagawa, in spite of her prodding continued to smile and play along as he always did.   
  
“You’re obviously lying!” She stopped, stomping the heel of her boot on the ground in a miniature tantrum. When he kept walking ahead of her, her only recourse was to sink her pointed nails into his flesh, and yank him backwards so suddenly he turned on his heel to face her.   
  
They stopped, staring at one another for a moment. Enoshima Junko liked to dance in despair, a discordant melody only she could hear and follow along with. A wild and wicked dance that pushed her to the limits of every sensation. However, she had always danced alone, even the other half of the despair sisters could not force herself to enjoy despair as much as she did. Ever since meeting Kumagawa, she had stopped dancing in despair alone, though it was not like they danced together either. The closest description would be they danced around each other. 

Kumagawa disentangled his hand from hers, wiping the blood from his forehead again. 『Well, everything I say is a lie so. I can’t be expected to tell the truth.』Kumagawa twisted his hair in between his fingers for a moment as he thought.  As his thoughts went deeper, n some small way only Junko would perceive his eyes blue eyes froze for just a moment.『Actually, I agree with Monokuma-chan. Things like romantic comedies aren’t popular with audiences anymore. Talking about those things is unnecessary, it’s fine… if we stay exactly the same as how we are right now… that would be fine.』 He opened and closed his empty hand on his side.

Junko bit her red lip again, she brought up a red clawed finger to tap on her cheek. She could try to keep prying if she wanted to, but she knew Kumagawa well enough to know it was almost impossible to tell if he was playing dumb in certain situations or if he was just genuinely that dumb. _Ewe, that means I know Misogi-senpai well now._ She thought, shivering at disgust at that though. “Well, whatever it is you’re hiding, I’ll figure it out talking or no talking, because I’m smart and you… are not.”

『I actually did have one question. Aren't you the one who prophesized that I'd remain a virgin for the rest of my life. So is this a self defeating prophecy?』Kumagawa asked, flashing a grin at her again.  
  
Junko’s emotions flared up red at that moment, and she lifted her leg, driving her heel straight into his foot. She made sure to twist it so it would be extra painful, but Kumagawa only laughed at her reaction. A moment later, she suddenly stopped as she changed her mind again. Her face flustered and red, went entirely blank. “Ah, wait, so do you think I’m the mastermind too?”

『Hmmm… nope!』  
  
“But… you’re the one who knows me best, I’m the most likely candidate.” _Ewe, Misogi-senpai knows me best._ She thought, shivering in disgust at that thought as well.  
  
『Well, if Junko says she’s not the mastermind, then I’ll believe her. It’s as simple as that.』  
  
“That’s the kind of logic that’s going to get you used up and thrown out like trash.”

『Well at least I’ll finally be useful before I get thrown away.』Kumagawa reached for the hand that was dangling at her side. Rudely, without invitation from her, even impudently, he intertwined his fingers with hers.  『Even if everybody on this island turns against you, I’ll still be on your side.』  
  
Junko’s face did not change at all, from his sudden closeness, or from such a declaration. She merely rolled her eyes and looked away. “Quit dropping lines like that, I’m going to barf.” She did not shake his hand off, even though she really could have if she wanted. She took the lead again walking, this time. Rather then them walking together it was more like she was dragging him along. When they arrived, her infinitely impatient self and easily bored self for some reason wished the walk there had been just a little bit longer.   
  
“Ah… we’re probably rooming individually for the night…” Junko muttered. _No, Junko don't waste time thinking about stupid things like that. Death game, death game, Monokuma, merchandising, focus._  
  
As she said that a black and white bear suddenly appeared from nowhere. He stood right in between them, forcing them to stop holding hands and step away from one another.   
  
“So you would think, but your headmaster is a fickle one! There’s been a rule change!”

 

♛

 

“Because two of our students were doing naughty things, and having illicit relations, the headmaster has decided to rearrange the cabins so nobody can sneak into each other’s cabins to plot naughty things in the middle of the night.” Monokuma announced, as he stood in front of a lottery box in the center walkway that led to each individual cabin.

“What kind of naughty things?” Medaka asked, raising her hand innocently.  
  
“Things like plotting murders, obviously! Perhaps, there’s other things two high school students could do together late at night after sneaking into the same room, but I am but a simple bear, I know nothing of the human mating ritual.”

  
At that moment, Junko had let go of Kumagawa’s hand, and had snuck as far away from him in the crowd as possible. Kumagawa looked at his empty hand, and sighed.  
  
“Well that’s no good… We shouldn’t have people sneaking away to cause mischief together.” Medaka said, as she started to think deeply on the matter.

Junko leaned closely over Naze, genuinely curious. “Does she really not get what Monokuma is implying?”  
  
Zenkichi, also leaned in closely, also curious but for reasons he would die before admitting. “Yeah, dos Medaka-chan not know what he’s talking about?”  
  
“My sister’s a really old fashioned type. She’s the kind of girl who doesn’t even consider any of that before marriage. That’s why I kept saying you’re barking up the wrong tree, Hitoyoshi-kun.” Naze said with her arms crossed.

  
“Of course, what kind of person even thinks about kissing before marriage?” Fuyuhiko added, joining in.  
  
“So you’re saying she’s a prude.” Junko replied.  
  
“I… I’m willing to wait… I mean I wasn’t thinking about those things that all.” Zenkichi said, his face turning into a red mess before he decided to retreat.  
  
“Perhaps roommates is a good idea, then we’ll always have somebody to watch our backs.” Medaka said, completely oblivious to the gossip about her that was going on at the other side of the crowd.

Monokuma hit the lottery box he was carrying. “Everybody pay attention to your headmaster. You’re going to miss out on all my fun jokes! Now, come and take a number. There were nine cabins prepared, but since we only have fourteen students left two of you will get cabins all to yourself.”  
  
As they were tired and wanted to go to bed for the night, they all lined up to draw numbers. After the drawing, Komaeda looked at his slip of paper with a seven marked on it.  
  
“Ah, did anybody else get a seven?”  
  
Hinata looked at his own slip of paper, hoping that would be the case but all he saw was a six. Drat, well in the past he had only ever had average luck. So he was not surprised things did not go his way.  
  
Komaeda merely smiled. “Cabin seven all to myself then, what wonderful luck.”  
  
The nine cabins were divided like this. Cabin nine was not put in the box, so it was given to the still recovering from her injuries this morning Ajimu Najimi, though she was technically not counted as a student for the killing game due to being immortal.  
  
Cabin eight was drawn by both Tanaka Gundham, and Kuzuryuu Fuyuhiko Cabin seven was drawn by Komaeda alone, and next to him Cabin six was drawn by Hajime Hinata alone, so those two were given the privilege of not having a roommate. Cabin five was drawn by both Naze Youka and Kirigiri Kyoko. Cabin four was drawn by Pekoyama Peko and Ikusaba Mukuro. Cabin three drawn by Nanami Chiaki and Tsumiki Mikan. Cabin two was drawn by Zenkichi HItoyoshi and Kumagawa Misogi. Which left the last cabin…  
  
Monokuma giggled again as he raised a paw to his face to suppress the laughter. “Puhuhuhu! It looks like all the literary foils got roomed together, what a coincidence. That's what we get for letting fate decide.”  
  
THe two left who drew Cabin one together, were Enoshima Junko and Kurokami Medaka. In response, a bloodthirsty grin spread across the latter’s face. “Ah, finally we’ll be able to talk alone. Let’s bear our hearts to one another, Enoshima Junko.”  
  
Junko immediately ran to Kumagawa’s side again, grabbing his chest and burying her head into it pretending to be a scared girl. “Miiiiiisooooogiiiiii-senpai! Miss Gorilla is going to bully me! I can’t share a room with her, her clothes are so big! If I go into her closet I might trip and fall into one of her shoes and I’ll never be seen from again.”

『Junko… I think you’re much more likely to bully her.』He said, as he brought his hands up to put on her shoulders, but hesitated and simply let them float there in the air touching nothing. As he thought about the possibility of being separated from Junko, his eyes narrowed and his thoughts grew unpleasant once more. He was somebody who could curse the whole world, over something as petty as one girl. That's the kind of despicable person he was. 

_『Yeah...』_

_『I really hate the word fate.』_


	3. Jet Black Jabberwock (3 - Fortune x Misfortune)

_I am luck._ _  
_ _In my opinion, the bad luck that happens first and the good luck that comes after are largely proportionate._ _  
_ _My final act of luck, was entering a special government school that accepts only the top students with unusual talents, known as Hope’s Peak Academy._ _  
_ _For me to enroll so easily while everyone else had secretly dreamed to enter this “ultimate highschool” there could be nothing luckier than this._ _  
_ _The entire time I wondered what would be my next instance of bad luck to follow this._ _  
_ _I met a girl who existed to become hope’s enemy and ensnared everything with her claws._ _  
_ _A boy transferred in wearing pitch black, he smiled at me and I knew he was misfortune personified,_ _  
_ _Even my own death, I was completely sure one of those events would be bad luck._ _  
_ _Or so I thought, but…_ _  
_

“Well, well, from this point forward. The killing school trip will commence.”

When the boy heard those words his heart which too had become deadened by lukewarm feelings, started to beat again. He was glad to be standing just behind Hinata, as he could not help the emotion that came over him in that moment. Slowly, he reached up to feel his face, as he had lost track of what expression he was making in that moment. His lips twitched, and curled into a smile. His face felt hot, and he could feel himself already breaking into a sweat as his mind raced.   
  
“Kill….” His fingers curled over his face as his expression grew more and more crooked. Even his eyes themselves seemed to spin, as he lost track of the world around him. “Kill… each other…” he repeated those words to himself like a prayer, or some kind of promise.   
  
_Be cool, be cool, be cool, be cool, be cool…._ He thought to himself, trying to compose himself once more. However, the worst misfortune he had ever dealt with in his life occured right then, he was simply too much of a nerd to ever be cool. Tragic. He let go of his face, and grabbed the sleeve of his coat, his fingers twisting into the fabric.

 _...Ah..._ His insides themselves were twisting themselves into knots. It was a pleasant kind of feeling though, for far too long things had been too loose, too ambiguous, Komaeda almost forgot about his purpose before this moment. Living like a normal student in Hope’s Peak, just enjoying his time with friends, that was impossible for someone like him. It was only because he bought into the deceptive smiles of others that he was fooled for such a short time. _For me to face this situation… I am truly…._

He thought, turning his face away from others so that nobody would see. All of their eyes were on Monokuma though, a pit of pitch black despair, a swamp that threatened to sink all of them in. “Upupupu… Any killing method is fine…. Cutting, poisoning, burning, bombing, electrocuting, freezing, cursing. Go ahead and kill as you please!”   
  
His fingers traveled up to his mouth once more, as he tried to hide it. The grin that he could not suppress. There was no brightness at all in that expression. His smile was entirely empty, it was like a crescent shaped hole in his face. Even his hair had fallen over his eyes, his twisted white hair casting all sorts of strange, spiraling shadows on his face. “I wonder what type of killing spree you will show… This is… Already making my heart pound!!”   
  
Hope was brilliant, a just heart reaching towards the light, no to him hope was light itself. It was inevitable then that hope would cast a shadow, he had accepted it as an inevitability a long time ago. Hope, followed by despair, followed by hope, Good luck, followed by bad luck, followed by good, life was full of such cycles, such blacks and whites and the line between them. He was the one gifted enough to see the line, to stand right at the center, while everybody else around him was searching frantically and looking in panic.   
  
His head fell forward, and he rested his fingers curled up into a fist on his forehead. He had to hide his expression, nobody could see. He was glad nobody could see him, he was glad, glad, so glad. Because, he wanted this position all to himself. He wanted to be the sole arbitrator who stood on the line good luck and bad luck, hope and despair, talented and talent-less. That importance belonged to him alone.  
  
When he lifted his head, he slipped his mask on and pretended to be a normal student, shocked at the idea of his precious fr- his precious ultimate hopes killing one another.”There’s a traitor amongst you guys! Please be careful…”   
  
Just then, Hajime standing at the center of the crowd looked all around him,. Any one of them could be the traitor, and they all had reason to suspect the other. When he locked eyes with Komaeda though, Komaeda tried to smile gently to reassure him. Hinata’s wiry eyebrows and tense expression relaxed for just a moment.   
  
_He didn’t see._ Komaeda thought. _This is good._ A moment later though, as was his bad habit he thought the opposite. _Is it really good? Is it really good to not be seen? Isn’t it lonely?_ Komaeda following the others shook his head.

 _I’m never alone…._ _  
_ _Because, I am the Ultimate Class’s luck._ _  
_ _In that way I’m needed._

 _  
_ _  
_ ♛

 

“What are those two idiots fighting over?”  Enoshima Junko said, raising her heart shaped sunglasses above her head.   
  
Next to her, Kurokami Medaka crossed her arms. Every action she took, seemed to have an air of gravitas to it, even the smallest of movements. That’s what she got for being so self serious, really. “It’s a fight between men, first year Enoshima. Show some respect.”   
  
At that moment, Zenkichi had wrapped his arms around Kumagawa and hoisted him up into the air. He pulled the other boy over his shoulder and slammed him hard into the ground as he arched his back, executing a perfect suplex. In that moment he let go, letting Kumagawa tumble back into the sand while he stood triumphant.   
  
“The top bunk belongs to me!” Zenkichi said, after striking a victory pose. He was obviously trying to look cool with Kurokami Medaka watching, but, unfortunately just like Komaeda he was suffering from a terrible curse. He was too much of a nerd to ever look cool.

『Once again I’ve lost...』Kumagawa muttered as he spread his arms out in the sand, not quite ready to stand up just yet.  
  
Junko walked over and leaned over him, and soon her face dominated his vision. “Don’t pout senpai, you’re more suited to always being on the bottom, anyway.” She stuck her tongue out at him.

『You shouldn’t talk about that kind of thing in public...』Kumagawa said, only to receive a sharp heel in his gut a moment later as punishment.  
  
From behind them, sitting on the boardwalk Mikan called out nervously. “Don’t get too hurt Kumagawa-senpai. I’m already busy patching up Anshin’in-san.” That so called non-human had been recovered from Jabberwock Park and was currently covered in enough bandages to make her look like a half mummy. Technically as she was immortal none of these wounds were fatal, but she would still bleed if they were not treated.  
  
Ajimu while MIkan was busy tying off bandages around her forehead, simply let her chin rest in her hands and looked at the children playing before her, as always taking the position of an outside observer. “How many times have I warned you about being too rough on your toys, Junko-chan.”  
  
“How many times have I warned you not to tell me what to do? Has that worked out well for anyone in the history of ever?” Junko spat fire back. Even though their conflict was technically over and a new mastermind had stepped on stage, she could not help but be agitated by Ajimu’s icy coo above it all attitude.   
  
Those two would simply never get along. To Enoshima Junko, not choosing between hope and despair was as boring a result as picking hope. Still, it was a predictable choice people often made when they were too cowardly to choose.   
  
Just then, Komaeda knitted his long fingers together again. “We shouldn’t be fighting this early, all of us hopes need to come together. Well, all of us hopes and Kumagawa I guess.”   
  
On the floor, Kumagawa finally sat up at the mention of his name. Before he could say anything from nowhere Monokuma appeared one more. “That’s right! No fighting on this island, unless it leads to a murder. We don’t have any time to waste on petty squabbles, we don’t have any time to waste at all!”  
  
Hinata next to Komaeda put a finger on his chin. “Huh, that’s weird how he appeared so suddenly.”

『Huh? Is that foreshadowing...』  
  
“Shut it River Bear! I don’t acknowledge your existence.” Kumagawa was suddenly smacked on the head with a rolled up magazine, like he was some kind of misbehaving dog. In the next moment, he threw several more magazines on the ground in front of the gathered children. “Your headmaster has come to bribe you! This is a resort after all, you should be living in the dorm rooms of your dreams not plain old cabins with bunk beds.”   


『Awe, but I like bunk beds.』  
  
For that, Kumagawa received another smack on the head with a rolled up magazine. “Shaddup you river bear, I don’t want to hear any more of your growling!” The magazines that had fallen open on the ground, were filled with different furniture and decorations one might find in a room. These magazines were catalogues and rather extensive ones at that. “So, circle whatever furniture you want in the magazines and it will be shipped here by tomorrow. Customize your rooms to your heart’s content, it’ll be just like that game! You know the one! The sims.”   
  
“He said it anyway….” Fuyuhiko groused, until that point he had been keeping to the edge of the group silently watching.   
  
“Express yourselves creatively! That’s a part of youth! Hopefully, you’ll be just as creative when it comes to your murders.”

『Yeah, I was wondering about that doesn’t an over complicated murder just leave the chance for more evidence to be left behind. Wouldn’t it be smarter to just conk somebody over the head when nobody's looking?』

  
“Ugh, no because that would be boring. Why do you just ruin everything, River Bear?”

『It’s what I’m good at.』  
  
Disgusted, Monokuma disappeared as quickly as he appeared. Enoshima Junko picked up one of the magazines, curious, she started to page through it. “Hey, since when have Misogi-senpai and Monokuma have such an established rapport.”  
  
Medaka’s suspicious eyes did not leave Junko for one moment. “Those two are bickering because you’re obviously the one who controls that bear.”   
  
At this, Enoshima Junko sighed. “I’ve been next to you this entire time, how could I have possibly been controlling it?”   
  
“You predicted the way the conversation would play out ahead of time and preprogrammed Monokuma’s responses based on your predictions of what we would all say.”   
  
“Damnit, I knew you were going to say that.”   
  
“See!”  Medaka said, pointing straight at Junko with her accusation like a certain character in a blue suit from a certain game. You know the one. Ace Attorney!   
  
Junko blocked the finger with her magazine. “Yeah, no, bored of this conversation now, and I’m too bored to pick out any stupid furniture with this magazine. I’ll just go with whatever.”   
  
“So you’re submitting to the person with the superior sense of beauty? I suppose it’s only natural.” Medaka said, putting her hands on her hips and getting prideful for a moment.   
  
“Oi! I never said that. Okay I really don’t want to lose against you. You’d make such a huge deal out of it if you won.”

『Junko, do you have to keep picking fights with Medaka-chan and Ajimu?』Kumagawa said, getting to his feet.  
  
“Do they have to keep existing?” Junko whined in response.   
  
Komaeda was the one who spoke out in the center of the group. “Prompted by Monokuma or not, I think it’s a wonderful idea. A non confrontational competition, a chance for all of you to let your talents show. Why don’t we each decorate our cabins and then have a contest where the group votes to which cabin is the most beautiful!”  
  
Hinata standing behind Komaeda picked up one of the magazines and held it open. He really had no sense at all which decorations would be the most appealing to others. In fact, the idea of competing with everyone else who already knew what their talents were was a bit intimidating to him. His hands tightened around the side of the magazine. “Yeah… I think it’s a good idea. A friendly competition so we can all get along.”   
  
Komaeda turned around and smiled at him. “That’s the spirit. I’m looking forward to seeing what you do with your cabin. Perhaps your talent all along was the ultimate interior designer.”   
  
“Haha, maybe…” Hinata said, trying to laugh off the sudden pressure he had put on himself. He walked away and started to circle pieces of furniture in the magazine. Everybody was going to look at his room and compare it to everyone else’s, this was his first chance to show his stuff.   


  
♛

 

That night, when Kumagawa’s eyes opened up in his dreams he saw himself in a  familiar looking classroom. The same classroom that he and Ajimu spent all three years of their middle school days.  
  
The classroom he remembered inside his heart was always empty, but this time it was particularly empty as the ghost of a girl who usually sat on the teacher’s podium to taunt him was no longer there.

『Hmmm, so it seems that even Ajimu’s past self has been restricted...』Kumagawa said as he walked up to the chalkboard. They said if you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you. People would do almost anything to avoid the emptiness inside of them. Even to Kumagawa, the empty classroom he dreamed of now was a bit disturbing.   
  
He pulled up a piece of chalk and began to write on the board. As he wrote, the squeaking from him failing to hold the chalk properly filled the room. In his own messy handwriting, he wrote out the names of every single participant. 

『Hmmm… let’s see… whose first...』The one advantage of not having Ajimu be present within this room was that he could at least be alone with his own thoughts for once. He cupped his hand in his cheek as he tried to think, leaning his head against the black board.『Hmmm, probably… someone who seems important.』

That night, Ajimu Najimi appeared in an empty classroom. The exact same one that appeared in Kumagawa’s dreams, but of course he was not present. As she leaned on the teacher’s podium, she clicked her tongue in annoyance. “Tch...he got ahead of me again.That boy did a good job, building this cage around me.”

There was no other choice but for her to wait for the dream to end. Technically one like her did not need to sleep, but there was nothing that she had to do while everybody else was sleeping anyway. She idly kicked her legs as she waited on the teacher’s disk.   
  
“Well, well, a really dangerous and unbelievable enemy appeared from nowhere as a result of my meddling. I suppose this is what they called narrative consequences. As long as we’re stuck in this cage, Kumagawa-kun won’t be able to do anything about the people who died. Besides, the dead and the living are both equal to me. I’ll just continue enjoying life within this birdcage a little bit more…”

Just then, a set of memories flashed through Ajimu’s mind. The time she was sealed away and played at making Zenkichi the main character. There was the days she gave him harmonica lessons. The days she taught him to box. The days she made him cook meals for her. THe days he spent late night studying while she laughed at his lack of progress. The times he did push ups while she stood on top of his back. There was absolutely no reason for her to train him that hard, she was mostly just messing around, yet every ridiculous task she gave him Zenkichi gave his absolute best.   
  
“Wahahahaha…” She said, laughing at his great effort that would be rendered pointless now. Suddenly though, her eys sharpened and her entire expression became one pinched with annoyance. “The more I think about it… the more I feel that this birdcage is definitely not satisfying at all.”

 

  
♛

 

Just as Monokuma promised, the next day several packages of furniture arrived seemingly from nowhere. When asked, he made some excuse about there being a furniture factory on another island, and a monokuma factory in case you were interested in buying any Monokuma merchandise.

At mid-day when everybody had finished setting up their rooms, they all gathered in the restaurant. Komaeda and Hinata were sitting in the middle as they took it the most seriously. Kumagawa and Junko sat in the back, Junko stealing most of the food off of Kumagawa’s plate claiming it was hers to begin with.   
  
“Are your rooms all set up?” Komaeda asked, to which he got nods of approval from most kids, and a dazzling thumbs up from Zenkichi.  
  
“Then, let’s begin wIth room showcasing competition!” Hinata said, trying to meet Komaeda’s level of enthusiasm. A moment later, he shrunk away from everyone. “I hope that wasn’t too much…I’m not that excited or anything… I just want everyone to have fun… okay.” He continued to mutter but most everybody ignored him after that point.

  
**Cabin #9 - Ajimu Najimi**

The cabin itself immediately screamed Japanese. Somehow the entire inside had been remodeled to a sliding door, tatami style floors, with old wooden style walls. Ajimu sat on the floor pouring herself a cup of tea.   
  
“How did you even renovate the building in the same day?” Hinata exclaimed in surprise as he stepped into the room.  
**  
** Next to him, Komaeda, twirled his finger in one of the stray curls of his hair. “That’s the work of somebody with such impeccable talent as Anshin’in-san, for sure.”   
  
“Do you all want to come in for a cup of tea?” Ajimu said, as she raised her own cup to her mouth. “After I left greece five thousand or so years ago to flee an annoying person, I watched the nation of Japan flourish around me. Now I can’t sleep without Tatami style flooring.”   
  
“Wait… is she seriously that old?” The unreality of Ajimu’s existence still had not quite settled on Hinata. “She was just a normal classmate of ours too? What kind of place has Hope’s Peak become and why don’t I remember it…”   
  
“Yep, she’s an old hag. In fact it’s great that this place looks ancient, it fits a mummy like you right, Ajimu?” Junko teased from the back of the crowd. Ajimu ignored her, and decided to passive aggressively keep sipping her tea instead. In response Junko tunrned around, crossing her arms and huffing. “Come on, let’s go to the next room already before I start to grow cobwebs.”

"Oh too bad, Tea might have relaxed somebody as high strung and fussy as you Junko-chan..." Ajimu said as she stood up and continued to sip at her tea. 

**Cabin #8 - Kuzuryuu Fuyuhiko / Tanaka Gundham**

“Hmph, how trivial…” Tanaka Gundham said as he stood in front of his door with his arms crossed.   
  
“Yeah, like I give a shit about playing along with your dumb kiddy games.” Fuyuhiko said, right next to him. The two of them standing together, with their arms crossed like a couple of bad boys were the perfect defense from letting others see how they had decorated their room.   
  
However, just then, Komaeda and Hinata working together managed to push them both away from the door. It swung open, and Gundham immediately threw his arms wide open. “Ahahaha! You’ve managed to unseal the door of darkness which was meant to be sealed for 5,000 years. Impudent! You shall see the lair of the ice dragon which was never meant to be viewed by mortal eyes.”

The door swung open, revealing a room that was almost entirely pitch black. From the back wall of the room, two dragons went running along in opposite directions converging on the door itself. Not only that but the beds were gothic looking in design, but adorned with dragons on the metal bedposts. There was a dragon skull on each of their dressors. Dragon wings emerged from their air conditioner. They had two chairs, one for each of them, which looked to be dragon thrones.  
  
“Wow.. so you both really like dragons, huh?” Hajime commented as he surveyed the room. Nervously he grabbed at the hair which hung just below his ears. “Though… this place is a little too dark for my tastes.”   
  
“Say that to my face you bastard!” Fuyuhiko snapped at him, as he lounged in his dragon throne and folded his hands in his lap looking every part the mafia boss he was always meant to be.

Komaeda had been observing every inch of the room and finally returned to his place near Hinata’s side. “It’s wonderful, you two have such different talents, but somehow you get along so well and share such a unique taste together.”  
  
“Oi! It’s got nothing to do with taste! I’m just showing off the Ryu, in Kuzuryuu!”   
  
“I am merely adorning my dwelling with the visage of my kin! If you cannot handle it, then you should have never unsealed me from the tomb where I slept in the first place.”

『His kin? Is the animal breeding guy a furry?』Kumagawa said, leaning in to whisper to Junko.   
  
“No duh, let’s get out of here this place is already giving me the creeps.” Junko said.

 

**Cabin #7 - Komaeda Nagito**

Komaeda sat at the door of his cabin. In anticipation, he chewed one of his nails and was already beginning to sweat. As Hinata studied the expression of the other and watched it twist back and forth. “Hey, dude, are you okay? Do you need to go to Mikan or something you look like you’re constipated.”   
  
“No… no I just… I’m so excited to show you all my cabin. I did my very best to make it an offering to all of your talents.” He said as he addressed the crowd. He placed his hand on the door. “I hope you all take this as a shrine of my love… my no worship of all of your talent’s. This is the culmination of the Ultimate Ultimate fanatic…”   
  
Immediately, Junko’s hand shot up. “Okay, so who wants to skip what is obviously Komaeda’s creepy stalker shrine?”   
  
Several other hands shot up. The only ones who did not were Zenkichi, Kumagawa and Hinata who were not the majority. As she tallied it up, Junko shrugged. “Yep, s’what I thought, moving on. I guess we’ll have to save whatever despair inducing way you decorated your room for later.”

  
Komaeda’s shoulders slumped in disappointment. “Ah of course. There’s no way trash like me could compete with the ultimates to begin with, what was I thinking. Clearly this is the better result.”   
  
Hinata’s brow furrowed as he considered putting a hand on Komaeda’s shoulder, but stopped and simply let his hand hover in the air. “Uh… it’s fine you can show me your cabin later if you want.”

 

**Cabin #6 - Hajime Hinata**

“Okay, guys I worked really hard on this. I wanted the kind of room that would appeal to everybody.” Hinata said as he stood at the door. Of everyone present, he had been the one who took the longest to decide on what furniture he wanted barely getting any sleep at all last night. He had also been the last one to show up to lunch as it took him all morning setting it up.  
  
The moment the door swung open though, they all saw. Posters hung out on the walls of the bands that were currently the most popular, or shows that were popular this season. The bed was laid out with sheets that had a certain design that was considered in and cute right now. In the corner there was a sleek computer that was the newest, fastest and most common omdel on the market.   
  
Enoshima Junko took the room in in an instant and summed it up as she put her hands on her hips. “Well, there you have it. A boring room.” The only unique feature was a rack that was placed on the side of the room where, just one monokuma statue sat at the very bottom. The moment she spotted it, Junko headed over in an instant and looked at the Monokuma statue. “Nevermind, this is the best room I’ve seen yet. Where did you find this cutie?”   
  
“Uhhh… there’s a couple hiding around the beach. When you find one Monokuma shows up and gives you money.”  
  
“Oooh, a rich boy too! I’m starting to see you in a whole new light, Rando!” Junko said, suddenly getting in his face.   
  
Hinata took a step back. “Don’t start flirting with me if you can’t even remember my name. That makes me feel weird for some reason.”   
  
Komaeda brought one of his knuckles to his chin. “Perhaps that’s your talent after all, the Ultimate Monokuma Memorabilia Collector.”  
  
“Don’t give me a useless talent like that, that’s just mean!” Hinata snapped at him.

『Hmm… maybe I need to find some of those statues.』Kumagawa said, as he watched in the background how excited Junko was getting over just one statue.   
  
Hinata took one last disappointed look at his room.   
_Even though I tried my best…_ _  
_ **_How dull.._ **

 

**Cabin #5 - Naze Youka / Kirigiri Kyoko**

“Decorating your room is a waste of time anyway, so don’t get your expectations up.” The girl with the bandaged face said, as she sat at that door.   
  
Next to her, with her arms crossed in a similar manner Kirigiri Kyoko nodded along. “I highly doubt my tastes at all aligned with what would be considered a normal teenaged girls, I was never treated as a child as well as a girl so therefore-”   
  
“Yeah, we get it you’re both the ‘stoic’ type get on with it!” Junko yelled from the back of the ground.

  
Immediately after she needed to swing her head to the side to dodge a strike half heartedly aimed at her by Kurokami Medaka. “I won’t let you badmouth my precious older sister.”   
  
As a demonic sister herself, Youka Naze could not help but still be chilled by Enoshima Junko’s presence. If Gundham were to describe the feeling she had right now, it was like a lower level demon cowering in the face of a level nine one or above. “Y..yeah… okay, whatever.” She swung the door open.   
  
The room that opened up was somehow even darker than both Fuyuhiko and Gundham’s combined decorating senses. Gundham bowed his head. “I have seen the darkness your hearts can reach, I Tanaka Gundham, acknowledge you!”   
  
The room itself barely had a light, except for a flickering lantern kept on one of their desks. The only piece of furniture was two desks on opposite sides of the room, and two cots that were the bare minimum as far as beds worked. Otherwise, wall to wall, the rooms was lined with shelves filled to the brim with books of all kind. Books were stacked on their desks as well, and on the floors.  
  
Naze who had been working with the room all day found herself immediately displeased with the results. She picked up one of the books and flung it at the bookshelf. “I need less excess furniture in this room. I need a room that will push me further to the edge, deeper into the depths of hell!”

“Yes, push yourself deeper and deeper into pits of hell as your heart sinks further and further into the darkness so it can course through your veins! That is the only way we cursed ones can live!” Tanaka said, joining along with her rant.   
  
“Oi…” Naze stopped dead in her tracks. “Quit comparing us we’re nothing alike.”  
  
“She’s somebody who lives in pursuit of her talent, what a beautiful lifestyle.” Komaeda commented as he placed his fingers together so the pads touched one another.   
  
Next to him, Hinata grimaced. “This place looks a little bit unhealthy… now I’m worried for both of them.” He could not help it, he was a worrier by nature.

 

**Cabin #4 Pekoyama Peko / Ikusaba Mukuro**

“Umm…. This is really embarrassing but… here goes nothing…” Mukuro said as she sat at the door. Next to her, Pekoyama was mostly silent. She seemed to so far, just be going along with what the group wanted.   
  
When Mukuro opened the door, she immediately covered her face, her shoulders shaking as she expected Junko to immediately start tearing into her design sense. This was the first time in a long time she had decorated her room entirely on her own, being twin’s growing up meant sharing a room with Junko, and therefore having her tastes dominated by what Junko wanted.   
  
However, the first person to react was not Junko, but Hajime rather. “Man, what a dangerous looking room!” He said as the room had several swords lining the walls on one side of the room, and several posters of military equipment and machinery on the other side of the room. There was even a full dummy dressed up in combat bear, flack jacket and everything. “What are you two planning exactly?”

“I just like swords…” Peko said, “Swords and nothing else.”   
  
“All the weapons are fake I promise… I don’t want to hurt anybody…” Mukuro said nervously, still hiding behind her hands.   
  
Just then, Komaeda a curious cat walked to the closet on the opposite end of the room. He pulled open the closet door, and several stuffed rabbits fell out. Just his luck, he was buried in a pile of stuffed rabbits in less than a second.   
  
It was Hinata who ran over and made sure he was okay. As he fished him out of the pile of stuffed rabbits, it was Peko who turned away looking embarrassed. “I don’t know how those possibly could have gotten in there. Monokuma must have done something… to frame me for something… yes…”  
  
Fuyuhiko had sat on the edge of the cabin, not even bothering to look in. He kept his arms crossed. He was trying to look like an unwilling participant getting dragged along into this, but the truth was the thought of looking into Peko’s room flustered him so badly, he had to put all of his effort into putting on a fake scowl not to show it. It took him all of his willpower not to go peek in what Peko’s living space would be like.

Kumagawa next to Junko tilted his head. 『I’m surprised you haven’t said anything about Mukuro’s room yet.』  
  
Just then, Junko hooked her arm around her forehead, and faked a fainting falling into Kumagawa’s arms who had to suddenly move to catch her. “My sister is such a military otaku. I can’t take it anymore, this is too much despair even for me.”   
  
Mukuro suddenly turned around holding her arms to her chest. “I… I’m sorry Junko please don’t faint… you really do fall into despair far too easily.”

 

**Cabin #3 Nanami Chiaki / Tsumiki Mikan**

“I… I didn’t think anybody would like my design choices so… I just let Nanami-san do everything…”  Mikan nervously pressed the tips of her fingers together. “So… please, please don’t hate my room, and even if you hate it it’s not my fault okay, so please forgive me?”  
  
Nanami only tilted her head to the side in a spacey way, as Mikan exhausted herself apologizing. “It’s no big deal… I mean, win or lose this is a fun game to play with everyone.”  
  
As she opened the door, the cabin was exactly what you would expect from the ultimate gamer. Several plushies of different eight bit mascots from different video games surrounded the room. Posters from all kinds of video games, some that were considered good, and some that were considered terrible adorned every inch of the wall. On the desks several figurines from different game series were already set up.

“Wow… what… undiscerning taste.” Hinata said as he looked around. He recognized several of the series present but quite a few of them were infamous for being terrible.  
  
“If you mean completely fucking indiscriminate.” Junko said, yawning at Chiaki’s all inclusive tastes, that and her ‘let’s everybody get along’ attitude was completely antithetical to her existence. The two were like opposites, though Junko would never even acknowledge such a rivalry.   
  
“I just like what I like…” Nanami said with a simple shrug.

  
“As expected of the ultimate gamer, what a wonderful room! I’m in awe of the display of your talent!” Komaeda said, shining brightly.   
  
“Do you even like games that much Komaeda…” Nanami tilted her head the opposite direction, a bit confused again.   
  
Hinata walked to the edge of the room. “Oh, is that Gal Omega? I love that series.”   
  
Chiaki suddenly got in his face, getting energy from nowhere. “You love Gal Omega! Me too! It’s retro so I almost never meet fans of it nowadays.”

 _Huh there’s something familiar._ Hinata decided to forget about it, and turned around trailing his eyes across the room.   
  
He saw Kumagawa sitting on the edge of Mikan’s bed. He picked up a larged stuffed animal that had been covering in bandages. 『Mikan-chan did you pick this one out?』   
  
“S-sorry…”

『You’re forgiven, but… I like it! It’s covered in bandages so it’s cute just like you!』He said with a simple affection and a friendly smile.

Mikan sat down right next to him returning his smile. “Thank you! I’ll patch you up as many times as you want so you can be just like this bunny, so make sure to get injured a lot!”

『Awe, Mikan-chan is so considerate...』

No matter what Kumagawa did, Hajime could not help be irked by his behavior. He did not even know the guy that well. Was it normal to be this bothered by somebody you knew for less than two days? Still, _How does Tsumiki calm down so much around him? Those two are on a weird wavelength._

 

**Cabin #2 Hitoyoshi Zenkichi / Kumagawa Misogi**

 

“Well, I don’t care either way but I doubt you talented people are really going to be able to appreciate it.” Zenkichi said, as he stood at the doorway. He pulled it open to reveal a room that had several weights on the floor, a punching bag, a clock with two arms that were flexing, a treadmill, several other exercising apparatuses, and a bunk bed. There were also screws driven into the wall at random places. “The manliness of our badass room, that is! Don’t look down on us untalented, we can try just as hard as you.”  


“Yeah… you’re right. You tried way too hard.” Hinata said, as he was overwhelmed by the passion.   
  
Kumagawa raised his hand excitedly. 『The screws were my choice! Oh, and so are the posters, Zenkichi-chan told me to pick the strongest manliest shonen jump main characters I could to motivate him.』   


“Oh wow, you were the one who randomly added a bunch of screws. I never would have guessed that.” Junko said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She leaned against the wall with her arms crossed looking generally unimpressed. “Poor Kurokami-san, I know for sure I’d never want a boyfriend with a room like this.”   


Kurokami this time was the one who tilted her head looking confused. “Hmm, but aren’t you dating Kumagawa?”  
  
“Oi, I thought you were supposed to be oblivious about that sort of thing!”   
  
Before they could rehash that particular argument, Medaka turned her attention to Zenkichi again, pounding her fist against his. “Your room is amazing, Zenkichi! I’m already burning to show my room! I can’t wait to compete with you again!”   
  
“Oh no, they both have the exact same bad taste… There’s no hope for either of them.” Junko said, once more waxing dramatically, and fake fainting into Kumagawa’s arms. Though this time he had to sprint against the room to catch her.

  
As they left the room, Kumagawa noticed something strange in his nameplate. 『Huh, somebody changed the kanji in my name. Now it’s the ‘Bear’ kuma instead of the “Sphere’ Kuma.』   
  
“Sounds like a definite improvement to me.” Junko said smiling.

『Are you sure you’re not the mastermind?』  
  
“I already said it wasn’t me!”

『But… you’re the only one who calls me Bear River.』

  
  
  
**Cabin #1 Enoshima Junko and Kurokami Medaka  
  
**

Enoshima Junko quickly threw open the door without any introduction, claiming her amazing taste could speak for itself. The room that was revealed had one large piece of tape that went down the back wall, and straight through the middle dividing the room clearly in two. One half of the room had an incredibly elegant design sense, almost everything was plush, or velvet. The bed was huge and covered in drapery. It truly looked like a room belonging to a princess.   
  
The other side of the room was much more trendy and modern looking. There were magazine clippings covering almost every wall from the most popular magazines. Clothes were a large feature as the closet was absolutely overflowing with it. The only thing that looked to be Junko’s personal touch though was the bed covered in bear plushies.   
  
“This room really…” Komaeda began.   
  
“Clashes with itself…” Hinata finished for him. He scratched at his cheek. “Why is the room divided in half we were supposed to decorate the rooms together.”

  
“Kurokami-san and I couldn’t agree and we were up all night fighting so finally, we decided on a her side my side policy. I guess I can tolerate living in the same space as that ogre in human flesh.”   
  
“You’re the last person on earth qualified to call me a demon. I don’t even recognize you as a human being.” Medaka said, clearly willing to start another fight.   
  
It was Kumagawa who stepped in between them. 『Hey, Hey Medaka-chan I bet she meant the good kind of gore, like that story of the red and the blue ogre.』

  
“Hah, that’s fitting considering how desperate Kuroksami-san is to be loved by others. Sick burn, MIsogi.”

『That’s not how I meant it!』  
  
Medaka put a hand on Kumagawa’s shoulder. “Out of my way, Kumagawa.”   
  
Junko on a hand on his opposite shoulder. “What did I just say about touching my things.”  
  
“I’ve known him longer than you have.”

『Guys stop fighting over literally everything. Ow! Ow! Ow!』Kumagawa said as he was made a ragdoll in between the two of them.  
  
Komaeda sighed and shrugged. “I agree with Kumagawa-kun for once, a talentless person like him is hardly worth fighting over.

♛  


At the end of the day they met in the restaurant again and tallied up all the votes.As Komaeda was the only one who did not show off his room, he was left in charge of counting the botes. “Well, then, the winner is… with eight votes the room which overcame all the other weaker rooms for the most brilliant display was…. Hajime Hinata!”  
  
Hinata put his hand on his head in surprise. “What? I won?”   
  
“His was uh… kind of the least weird.”   
  
“Yeah a lot of the other rooms were so in your face.”   
  
“His was calming to look at. It was just so nice and normal.”   
  
“I just voted for him because of the Monokuma statue, since we’re not allowed to vote for ourselves.”  
  
Several voices spoke up in the crowd at once. Hinata’s expression sank, he was happy to win but he was hoping that he would win for standing out the most, not having the most agreeable and inoffensive room. Winning a prize for being the most normal was a pretty useless title, almost as useless as being the best at being a loser.   
  
Just then, Monokuma appeared from behind them. “Did you guys have fun with your stupid filler adventures?”   
  
Komaeda jumped back. “Mo-monokuma.”   
  
Gundham posed with his bandaged arm in front of his face. “You… what do you want this time.” The four hamsters gathered on his shoulders all glared at Monokuma with deadly serious looks that matched their mentors.   
  
“Upupupu… I toooootally forgot to mention this yesterday, but I didn’t just take those three hostages for no reason. In fact, they’re actually your first motive. From the moment they were taken you guys have three days to start the mutual killing otherwise I’ll execute a hostage.”

“...You mean Shiranui and the others…” Zenkichi’s glasses fell to the bridge of his nose, as his usually confident face showed his obvious worry.   
  
“Well, you guys only have two days now because you wasted an entire day playing a stupid game of showing off your rooms. What, did you want to ignore the fact that you’re on a mutual killing island? You idiots will cling to normalcy and blind yourselves every chance you get. It’s what makes you see easy to trick.” The bear ranted, before turning around on one foot and striking a ballet pose. “Idiots! Face facts you’re all going to start killing each other soon and there’s nothing you can do about it, because you’re too dumb.”  
  
“That’s a weird move though, keeping all their memories in tact. That’s not how I would have done it.” Junko said, rubbing her chin thoughtfully as she spoke from behind him. “Y’know if you’re willing to take constructive criticism.”   
  
“I’m not!” Monokuma snapped. He turned his head just around so she could see his jagged, red evil eye. “The despair will be all the greater when people who have known each other for this long turn against each other. After all, do you brats really know each other? You can never know another person 100%, you can’t know their true feelings, or their true nature.”   
  
Just then, Komaeda brought up his own curled finger to his chin thinking deeply on those words.   
  
At the same time, Medaka smashed her hand against the table. “Mutual killing will not happen!” She stood up just then, a terrifying aura surrounding her. Her next words were roared like a lioness, her long hair flowing behind her her mane. “And the reason is, I won’t let a single person be sacrificed.”   
  
Rather than Monokuma, it was Zenkichi who stood up to stop her. “Stop it! Medaka if you take this all on all by yourself it’ll be like you learned nothing.” He still remembered how much effort he had put to try to convince Medaka to figure out how to learn from herself. Even if they were thrust into this current situation he was not going to let any of his previous efforts come to naught. “How about this, we’ll elect a student council for this island, to keep everybody safe. We’ll have rules to live under as drafted by them and agreed upon to everybody else.”   
  
In the background, Junko rolled her red eyes. “Oh yes, let’s have an election. That’s how lord of the flies started out. Next thing you know somebody will be waving around a head on a pike. You know what nevermind I like this idea.”  
  
“Wait…” Kurokami looked back at Junko. “I can’t tell if you like this idea or not. Not that your opinion matters to me because you don’t count as a human being.. but... ”   
  
Zenkichi put a hand on Medaka’s shoulder. “You have to be careful around her, Enoshima-san she doesn’t always understand sarcasm.”   

Komaeda raised his fingers to his face again, touching upon one of his cheeks. “I think this student council idea has plenty of potential. We need a strong hope to act as a leader in this situation, I agree.”  
  
Hinata’s face relaxed and he decided to go with the majority opinion. “Hm… Well, if everyone’s okay with it. I’m fine with it too.”  
  
Zenkichi readjusted his glasses. “So it’s decided then.”   
  
A smile scrawled upon Komaeda’s face. He quickly, went to hide it by covering his face mouth with his hand. “By the way...if we’re going to have an election where should it be at? Wouldn’t it be nice if it’s a place where we won't get interrupted by Monokuma.”  
  
“Ugh, way to make sure the only cool person on this island won’t show up to your dumb election party.” Junko said, groaning in the background, though most of the people were tuning her out by this point.   
  
“Good idea, Komaeda-kun! You’re really looking out for everybody, buddy! Either here, or somewhere other than the lobby.”   
  
Komaeda gestured with his hand. “How about we use that old lodge? That’s off to the side of the hotel ground?”   
  
Chiaki tilted her head. “The shabby lodge? Yeah, if we work hard to clean it, it should look nicer.”

『Ehhh, but I don’t like cleaning. Can’t we just leave it how it is, I love dirty things!』Kumagawa complained.   
  
“Actually, I felt like something like this would happen so I’ve prepared a lottery! Whoever gets the one that has the red marking at the end is in charge of cleaning. That way it’s fair, right?” Komaeda said as he brought up a bundle of sticks from the pockets of his long coat, and held them in his two hands.  
  
Hinata tilted his head. “Why did you even prepare something like that?”   
  
“Umm… well don’t think too much of it.”  
  
One by one, everyone picked a stick.

『 _I am misfortune._ 』  
『 _The moment I find something I never want to lose, it will be lost._ 』   
『 _It is a given that everything worth wanting will be lost the moment I obtain it._ 』  
『” _There’s no need for a fucker who always loses’”, once somebody incredibly precious to me told me this._ 』  
『 _It may sound harsh but they’re right, there’s nothing I can give to others._ 』  
『 _No, it’s probably my presence around them that guarantees that this endless cycle of misfortune will continue_ 』  
『 _Even so I want to stay around them for as long as I can, forever even. I really like watching their smiles._ 』  
『 _Even if I die I want to keep on living._ 』  
『 _I guess that’s why I am misfortune._ 』

Kumagawa Misogi reached out for his draw, and drew a stick with a red mark on the end. 『...Eh? Is it me…?』

Hinata looked over Komaeda's shoulder. “Guess it went exactly how you wanted, Komaeda-kun. That’s Ultimate Good luck for you.”  
  
“Umm… yeah…” Komaeda said as he looked at the back of Kumagawa’s head, as a gloomy aura from yet another one of his losses surrounded him.

“Lucky me, I guess.”

 


	4. Jet Black Jabberwock (4 - Real x Fake)

**Dawn of the Second Day, 48 Hours Remain**

Haha, get it.  
It’s a zelda reference.

 _I might be fake._ _  
_ _No, I’m definitely fake._

 _But what’s the big deal about that anyway?_ _  
_ _Reality is a pain._ _  
_ _I never felt excited walking the path to school._ _  
_ _My heart never throbbed in excitement over the start of the day whenever I walked through the school gate._ _  
_ _I was never happy even though i was invited to play in class._ _  
_ _It wasn’t fun at all being surrounded by students with one or two unique talents._ _  
_ _I was never excited that every day wasn’t like the last._ _  
_ _I was never healed by the flower filled scenery._ _  
_ _I never felt challenged or satisfied thinking of tricks or plans to break down desperate situations._ _  
_ _I never felt cheerful attending the academy’s sports or cultural festival after frolicking so much._ _  
_ _When I was with everyone, I never once forgot, that I was only here to_ 『 _REDACTED_ 』  
_Everything from the warmth of people,_ _  
_ _A hard hurdle_ _  
_ _Everything and everyone._ _  
_ _I hated, hated, hated, it._ _  
_ _I hated every bit of reality._ _  
_ _That’s why I don’t care about what’s real._  
_If you make fiction (lies) just as valuable as reality, then any reality you don’t need can be a delusion (Fake)._

That day she prepared her boxed lunch early. Though, boxed lunch was inaccurate it was more like a large stack of boxes. That way she would have one for eahc period. By the middle of first period she was already halfway through her first boxed lunch.  
  
She had secured a seat right next to her target. _To attack the general, first attack his horse_ it was a simple enough strategy to follow. Everything about this job told her how easy it would be from day one. Even the boy next to her, her target, had the world’s easiest face to read. His thick and pointed eyebrows were pinched, and his eyes little dots that were glaring at her.  
  
He was probably thinking something like. _Hey, this girl sitting next to me has been eating her boxed lunch since 1st period. Is she the typical “always hungry” character? She looks so carefree… I think it’d be better not to get involved with her for the sake of my new brilliant High-School life._ _  
_  
When she finished her first box, she stopped paying attention to the lesson entirely and picked up a multi-tier lunch box, setting it down on the table. She pulled up her chopsticks again and began to eat away at the contents inside. The boy’s face as he watched her was easy enough to read. _Is she at it again???_ He probably thought something like that. She, on the other hand thought she was going to have to do more work than that to capture his attention. He really was far too easy to read, and far too easy to play. She might not even enjoy playing with one of these open book gullible types at all.  
  
Oh, it seemed he noticed the fact that she noticed him watching her. Suddenly, he turned his head away in embarrassment, staring at his open palm. After a moment of deliberation, he looked at the board once more and pretended to be paying attention to the lesson.

She had gotten a seat next to him on the first day of school, now she just needed an inciting incident. A meet cute, if you would. There were plenty of opportunities, bumping into one another in the hallway, being late for school tomorrow with toast in your mouth and tripping over him as you rush to school, him catching you napping alone in the classroom after class, she could even let herself get bullied and have that gullible too kind for his own idiot rescue her and get to play hero.  
  
There were 1,001 ways she could entangle him just like there were 1,001 stories of highschool life she knew and memorized before coming to this place. She decided to go with something simple though, a classic, since she  was playing a lazy character anyway. She threw an eraser on the ground off her desk on ‘accident’ and then picked up a riceball and shoved it into her mouth like she did not even notice.  
  
WIthout a moment of hesitation, he reached down and picked the eraser up. “Hey, hey! So I take it this is a challenge,seeing as you dropped an eraser in front of me!? Kah! It seems like you don’t know about the man who they called the “erase man”, the one who mastered the skill of the silent eraser! Alright then! Challenge accepted! I’ll bring my own eraser tomorrow! I’m Hitoyoshi Zenkichi who are you?!” He shouted in front of the whole class as he held that eraser proudly in front of his chest, his smile wide, his face red, not a single hint of embarrassment in his expression.  
  
She dropped the riceball from her hands. Her reaction, she did not know if it was a lie or not, but she stared in silence at Zenkichi’s antics almost for a full minute, before her expression deflated. “Pffffft…. Ahyahyahyahyahya! You sure are a big idiot, aren’t you! Hello, “Erase Man”! This is funny! Let’s get along well Hitoyoshi! Well my name is…”

 _My name is Shiranui Hansode._ _  
_ _From now on._ _  
_ _We’ll be friends._

Her small eyelids were quite heavy, and when she opened them, Shiranui saw Zenkichi’s face dominating her entire vision. “Hey… are you alright?” He asked. She felt something warm around her. The sand? The sun? Ah, no those were Zenkichi’s arms. He had picked her up in his arms.  
  
No, that was not right. This was not how it was supposed to be. She could not feel warmth after all.  
  
“Shiranui, you’re back I’m so glad…” She heard his voice say.  
  
Softly, she laughed. “Ahya...ya...hya…” It was all she could muster in the moment. “Hitoyoshi… you idiot.”

 

♛

 

That day they had all been called to the beach by Monokuma once more. Suddenly, out of nowhere two of the people who had disappeared off of this island were returned to them. Shiranui Hansode who had washed up face first, and Shiranui Hanten who had washed up face down.  
  
Monokuma put a paw over his mouth and laughed a familiar laugh. “Upupu! I changed my mind, sixteen is a better number after all. Way better than fourteen. We need to keep it at sixteen, anyway as I’m always saying the more the murderer!”

Nobody really paid attention though, they had rushed to recover the two students that had been taken away. Kyoko was the only one who did not react looking around for Shuichi. Even her trained detective’s eye could detect nothing at all on the beach, except for what Monokuma had led them here to see.  
  
The bear appeared right next to her. “Of course, I couldn’t give your precious little Shuichi back. Can’t have a murder if there’s no hostage right? Why don’t you take the first blood in order to get him back little conan-chan? I bet a detective could plan a perfect murder, and an execution for a detective would be pretty fun to see don’t you think? I’m sure Shuichi would love to watch that from the VIP sweet I’m keeping him in.”  
  
Despite all of Monokuma’s attempts to rile her up, Kyoko’s only response was to turn her head back and glare coldly at him.  
  
Monokuma sighed. “Puhu. That’s why stoic types like you are no fun.”

Just like that, two hostages had been returned. The students gathered at the beach did not know whether to be happy, relieved, or even more at unease. As they could not among them determine why Monokuma had suddenly changed his mind. Emotions varied between them, happiness, stoic indifference, anxiety, anticipation of something worse.  
  
Hinata Hajime in particular felt useless and out of place in these events. The only two who did not feel anything at all were Kurokami Medaka and Enoshima Junko who were not present, because they had overslept.

♛

The two of them finally arrived incredibly late for breakfast, both of them natural beauties in their own right and energetic personalities most of the time, looking like the walking dead. Medaka’s face was covered in scratch marks, and Junko’s in scuff marks, and she had feathers hanging from her pig tails.

  
Shiranui turned her head greeting the other two casually. “What’s wrong princess? Did you get mauled by a cat on your way here?”

Kumagawa put his bowl down. 『More like mauled by a Junko, though I keep telling people Junko is basically a cat.』  
  
At that point, Medaka realized what was different. “Shi… Shiranui you’re back!”  
  
“Of course! Where would my princess be without me to annoy her?” Shiranui said casually, folding her arms behind her head.

At that point, Zenkichi and the others explained to the two who had overslept Monokuma’s strange actions this morning. Kurokami Medaka thought deeply on this information for a moment. However, that was usually as long as it took for her to figure something out. She nodded her head solemnly when she reached her conclusion. “The mastermind behind this game is probably just a fickle person.” Immediately she snapped her gaze back at a sleepy looking Junko who was staring off into the distance. “Sounds like a certain other person I know.”  
  
Junko tilted her head back towards the other, blinking the sleepiness away from her eyes. “God, can you get over it already? I get it, you’re obsessed with me.”

Before the two of them could start round two, it was Zenkichi who bravely volunteered to step into the middle of them and change the subject. “Wait, why were you two late this morning? I’ve never seen you sleep in once in my life Medaka-chan.”

At this, both Junko and Medaka grimaced at the same time, their eyebrows twitching with barely held back anger in the exact same way.  
  
There were two reasons they were late. One, they had slept in because they were up all night arguing, or as Junko put it in her introduction to her version of events. “She tried bonding with me, Misogi, it was horrible.”

The second reason was an incident that happened this morning when they both woke up. The moment Medaka woke up, Junko shoved a pillow in her face. All things considered, her reaction to this was rather patient. “If you’re trying to murder me, this isn’t going to work. I’m a lot stronger than you.” She explained methodically in a calm voice.  
  
“No thanks!” Junko said, keeping the pillow in place over the other’s face. “If I wanted to kill you I wouldn’t do it myself, in fact it’d be much more fun to let you live a long time and slowly corrupt your hope over the course of the game. Maybe you’d commit suicide in the fourth round in a lame attempt to save everyone or something and die in vain. But you’re not worth the Junko time it would take to plot your murder.”  
  
“Are you sure about that? Clearly, you’ve thought a lot about it.” Medaka said, replying drily as she continued to just lay on the bed. She had copied Mogana’s technique so she could hold her breath for quite a long time if it was necesssary.  
  
“No! That took me like five seconds to think up, anyway! I just need you to keep your eyes shut and keep away from the bathroom.” Junko said, before taking her hand off the pillow and walking all the way to the bathroom slamming the door shut behind her.  
  
At this, Medaka was confused. She sat up removing the pillow from her face but kept her eyes shut as she had been asked. “Why? Are you trying to hide something?”  
  
“Soooo, suspicious!” Junko called out from behind the door. “Kurokami-san don’t you dare come into the bathroom while I’m doing my make-up. It’s me time. Junko only time. No peeking.”  
  
“Hmm, but I already saw you without your makeup last night.” Medaka called out. She, just like Junko was a bit too curious for her own good. Perhaps that was a common trait among girl geniuses.  
  
“Not that! I’m not that vain gosh. I mean your stupid ‘The End’ ability, I’m not going to let you copy super highschool level analysis. It’s mine, ya hear me! My thing, no touchy my things.”  
  
At that, Medaka hesitated. After all, her natural ability to copy and improve upon everybody’s greatest refined talents, whether she wanted to or not had been a stumbling block her entire life. Perhaps it was better to avoid trying to copy that girl’s unique ability. She laid back on her bed trying to relax.  
  
For Junko, her brain was so overclocked it was basically a supercomputer. Calculations were incorporated in every small minute task she did, even something so simple as the brush strokes of applying make up. Just when she analyzed fashion trends for what would be the most popular, she could easily make up her appearance to be as appealing to the human eye as possible.

If she kept her hair down, and went without makeup in fact she looked quite average. Though, only those with terrible taste like Matsuda and Kumagawa had seen her that way and preferred her that way. Looking like that was hardly worth the despair that came with it.  
  
As she walked out of the bathroom, pulling the last of her hair into her other pigtail and letting the band snap her hair into place. “Alright, you can look now. Just try not to get too envious that your big lumberjack body is never going to the this small and cute.”

At this, Medaka finally opened her eyes. She said the first thing that came to her mind. An easy retort, just because she was a kind person did not mean she was incapable of coming up with a comeback. “Enoshima, I know you are trying to compensate because you are not used to being around prettier and bustier girls than you…”  
  
She did not get to finish that sentence, as she had saw Junko’s shapely eyebrows knit, and her beautiful eyelash twitch, and from that could guess what was going to happen next.

『Wait, you said that to Junko’s face? How are you not dead?』Kumagawa said, interrupting the story.  
  
“It wasn’t easy, she’s tougher than she looks, but I was able to subdue her with a pillow.” Medaka said, crossing her arms across her chest and looking quite serious. The scratch marks on her face, to her those were battle scars.  
  
“Hey! I’m the victim here. I had to try not to use superhighschool level analysis around her all night, and now I’ve got a headache from feedback as my brain goes over the past data.” Junko said, as she leaned over from where she was sitting and rested her head in Kumagawa’s lap. “Misogi stroke my hair!”

『There, there.』Kumagawa said, immediately doing as ordered. 『See, just like a cat, she wants her pats.』  
  
Ajmu rested her chin in her hands, thoughtfully. “Perhaps Junko-chan has a point. It’s best if Medaka-chan doesn’t copy Ultimate Analysis, the last thing we need is for her to get corrupted and turn into a second Enoshima Junko.”

『Two Junkos… I think my brain might break...』Kumagawa said, pausing in horror.  
  
Junko grabbed his hand and forced it back on her head. “As if you guys would ever be so lucky to have two of me.”  
  
That matter sorted out, they all started their meal. Medaka took the most food of all, letting plates filled with meat stack up in front of her. “One whole cow, and one whole pig! That should be enough.” She picked up the meat with her bare hands and tore into it, ripping at it with her teeth like a lioness might pick clean the carcass of a fresh kill. “Great! Tasty! Meat! Delicious!”

“Wow, you’re taking to that like a fat secretary to tieramasu…” Junko said, as she sat up once more and nibbled on bacon she had stolen off of Kumagawa’s plate. “You’re eating way more than Shiranui, since when did you eat that much?”  
  
Zenkichi was the one who spoke up. “Being a glutton while being on top wouldn’t seem proper, so Medaka-chan was holding it in. She used to eat like this all the time in middle school, but on a whim, she decided that during her time as president she wouldn’t eat any meat.”  
  
“Well thank god we had the Medaka-chan to other human beings translator for us. Do you do anything else besides exposit us information as her sidekick?”  
  
“Hey! I’m not her sidekick! We literally just had an entire arc about that.” Zenkichi said, letting his head fall forward on the table to pout. Ever since the election Medaka was changing bit by bit, he admired the stoic Medaka more than anybody else had in the past, but her released state he liked much more.  
  
His friend Shiranui was eating next to him, but Zenkichi was so absorbed in watching Medaka he did not notice. The only one who noticed was the watchful red eyes of a certain witch with pointed nails. Junko tapped that nail onto one of her lips. “Hey… Shiranui-san, is there a reason you’re not eating?”

  
Shiranui looked at her food, eyes empty. “No, I’m just not hungry. Maybe later…” She said, pushing away the dishes that were in front of her.  
  
“Maybe you should follow her example, Kuroksami-san. Otherwise you’ll get fat.”  
  
『Please ignore her, Medaka-chan. Junko is just lonely because Mukuro’s been avoiding her the past few days so she has nobody to bully.』Kumagawa tried to explain to ease the tensions. When he noticed it was not working, he tried to grab Junko by the wrist and sneak off.  
  
“Hey, wait where are you going Kumagawa? You have to spend the rest of the day cleaning the old building remember?” Hinata was the one who spoke up first. Though, only because he did not want to get stuck with the job if Kumagawa somehow snuck away from it. He was that kind of reliable type of personality that was always volunteering to help others.  
  
『Awe, but I’m no good at cleaning.』  
  
“You’re not good at anything.” Junko reminded him from her spot at his side.

『Yep, yep! That’s why you should help me, Junko! We could spend all day together alone.』  
  
“No thanks. I’ve never cleaned anything in my life, that’s what I always had my janitor for.”

『You mean your sister?』  
  
“Janitor, sister, same thing really. Why don’t you just ask Mukuro to help you?”

『She’s been avoiding me too...』Kumagawa said, the gloominess of his aura intensifying as he admitted to that fact.

Ajimu Najimi sat up from the table where she had been lounging. “Oh, poor Kumagawa-kun. The only friend he had besides Junko-chan is ignoring him now.”

『I don’t have any friends, that’s how it’s always been...』Kumagawa said, turning away. Though, he was obviously just trying to save face.  
  
“Well, if Junko-chan doesn’t want to then I’ll help you. Come on, let’s go former student council president, you’re slightly less useless when you’re around me at least.” Ajimu said as she stood up and put both of her hands on Kumagawa’s back, pushing him forward unwillingly towards the old shack.

Junko watched them go for a moment. Without noticing, her fingers had curled and she pressed her pointed nails hard into the flesh of her palm. She only noticed when she felt something wet and raised her hand to see she had been pressing against her palm hard enough to pierce the skin and draw blood. Junko whipped her head around, pigtails trailing behind her as she went off in the opposite direction. “Since when did those two get so chummy again?” Too many things she did not know, all of a sudden. She hated not knowing things as much as she hated knowing things, it was in her nature after all, her brain wanted to know and dissect every piece of information. Even though it was that exact curiosity that killed any hint of surprise or joy in her life.  
  
Hinata was the first to speak up after that. “So… uh… what are the rest of us supposed to do today?” He did not want to clean the old shack, but at the same time he did not want to be caught doing nothing at all. Otherwise he might be thought as useless.  
  
“Somebody should prepare food for the election tomorrow while we still have free time.” Shiranui said, standing up suddenly speaking in a far more serious tone than others were used to hearing from her. “Hajime-kun, why don’t you come with me. We can spend our free time making the food together.”  
  
Suddenly, that small girl grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the restaurant. “Okay.. Um… I guess I’m doing this now. See you late guys.”  
  
Zenkichi, Medaka, and Komaeda looked at one another as who they would usually hang out with had changed and the groups had become a bit mixed up. Just then, Shiranui Hanten reached forward and put a hand on Medaka’s shoulder. “Huh?” She tilted her head at the man who never showed his face but always followed  in Ajimu Najimi’s shadow. “You want to talk to me?”  
  
When Medaka was dragged out, Zenkichi looked at Komaeda with a friendly smile. “Awesome! That means we get to hang out. It’s nice we haven’t hung out in awhile!”

Komaeda looked at that smile and sighed. He really was such an optimist. Even though he thought the hope of the talentless was weak, he trukly wondered if there was anything in the world that could break Zenkichi’s smile. Well, if there was he would probably come out even stronger in the end for it. Hope always won, after all.

 

♛

 

Hinata struggled behind Shiranui to carry several bags of groceries. Seeing how small she was, he had volunteered to help carry them for her to be helpful, only to quickly regret that decision when she piled on bag after bag of food without mercy.  
  
“Ahya-hya, are you having trouble there newbie?” Shiranui called out back to him as she watched him struggle.  
  
Hajime’s face immediately showed his exasperation. His eyebrows knitted hard creasing his forehead even and he closed his eyes. “Did you just drag me along to make fun of me?”  
  
“No, I was just curious about you. I kind of make it my business to know everyone.” She picked up a bag of gummies from one of the shelves, and tossed it onto the pile of groceries which Hajime was carrying. “Hey, Hajime-kun. Let me ask you one thing.”  
  
“Huh? Me? I don’t really mind but…”  
  
“There’s something I’ve been wondering for awhile, and I’d like to purge that question from my mind. So let me aks you! What is your body fat percentage!?”  
  
“...Huh? Well… I don’t really know the exact number I’ve never had it checked before…” Whatever that number was, he was probably burning it away with the sheer amount of effort he was expending right now trying to keep all of these bags in his arms.  
  
“Hmm… well, that figures. To be honest I’m a little bit confused. You’re very tall and well built, but to me you kind of look like a guy who is never done anything before in his life, like, you just sat in a room eating saltine crackers and water and now you’re here on this island.”  
  
“Umm….” Hinata felt really insulted, but he was not sure why. Perhaps on the implication that there was nothing significant about him. He was member of Hope’s Peak Academy, somebody of ultimate talent after all. Even if he could not remember what that talent was. At the same time he felt something off about the other girl. _Shiranui’s mood seems abnormal… did something happen while she was being held hostage… or was it me, did I do something wrong?_

Shiranui was already looking him over as she got lost in thought. “However, just by looking at you I’d say you’re nine percent or maybe an eight…. Regardless it’s probably around one digit. More than five percent though so I’d say your definitely a twunk rather than a twink. No wonder you’re going for Komaeda then…”  
  
“Huh? What are you even talking about?”  
  
“Nothing, nevermind. Ahyahyahya.” Shiranui skipped away behind the shelves, in search of another box of food. As she looked, her voice still called out to Hinata. “Anyway, you still can’t remember what your talent is..t?”  
  
“Y-yeah… not yet….”  
  
“I see… owever, there is no need for you to be depressed about it.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“What’s with the face…!”

 _“_ I thought you were just going to laugh at me again. Wait, how do you know what face I’m making?”  
  
“Guys like you are really easy to read. You’re just like my Zenkichi, an open book.” Shiranui said, leaning her head out from behind the shelf. Suddenly, her face became a perfect imitation of the face Hajime was making a moment ago, eyes and mouth both wide open. “I bet you looked just like this…!”

“Wow, that’s a good impression. I thought your talent was eating though…”  
  
“You know, I don’t think you should get so worked up Hajime-kun. It doesn’t matter what your talent is.” She disappeared around the shelf again. “If you remember your talent and you’re disappointed by it, I can just change it for you.”  
  
“Change… my talent?”  
  
“Yeah, that’s my abnormality. Real eater, the ability that edits other people’s abilities, or you could just get another new talent. That’s Shiranui Hanten’s ability, the ability to make and give other people new abilities.”  
  
“I…” Hajime thought about it for a moment. Instead of trying to remember a talent, instead of feeling constantly insecure about what he was meant to be on this island for, he could just acquire a new talent just like that? “That sounds impossible.”  
  
“Maybe for you Hope’s Peak kids, but at Sandbox Academy the impossible happens quite often.”  
  
“Sandbox?”  
  
“It’s the academy that Naze-san, Hitoyoshi-kun, Princess, Anshin’in-san, Hanten, and myself are from originally. Kumagawa-kun was supposed to transfer there too, but he transferred into Hope’s Peak instead to play around with Junko and because of that, a lot of other kids from that school ended up transferring as well. At that school, rather than refining talent they were much more focused on supernatural abilities that warped our minds and reality called ‘Abnormalities’.”  
  
“Huh… but Hope’s Peak doesn’t accept transfer students...and supernatural… this is all kind of heavy sorry.” _Now I feel like an even more normal guy in comparison. All of these sandbox kids have such overwhelming personalities._ “Let’s say it were possible though to just give me a new talent… I don’t think I want that. It would just be a fake, right? I know, there’s a talent hidden within me that’s the real deal I just have to remember it.”  
  
“So, if a talent is given to you with artificial means it’s fake? That’s somehow worse than a real talent even if the end result is exactly the same. You’re… kind of a sentimental sap, Hajime-kun.” Shiranui said as she emerged from behind the counters with even more boxes to pile onto what Hajime was carrying.  
  
She skipped ahead, heading towards the door. “Oh wait. We’re going to need meat too, do you know where we can find some?”  
  
“Uh… I have an idea!” Hajime choked out as he struggled with the load.  
  
Shiranui smiled and turned away from him. She waited until she was absolutely sure that Hajime was not paying attention to her. “Fakes are no good, huh?” She muttered under her breath, only to herself.

♛

“What do you want to drink, Kurokami? Cola, cider, orange, melon… We’ve got almost every soft drink. THis drink bar is really nice, it was considerate of the mastermind to put it here.” Shiranui Hanten said turning around to reveal his face to her. He had sharp blue eyes to match his hair, and his front forelock fell down long in front of his face. Otherwise, there was really not dramatic reason to always keep his face hidden. I was expecting him to have a cool scar with a traumatic backstory associated with it or something but nope, just boring.  
  
“I… you’re talking. You could have talked all along?”  
  
“Yes and now. For now, with her powers sealed away Najimi and I have reversed again.”  
  
“Shiranui Hanten… why are you…”  
  
“Don’t worry, it’s no big deal. For the time being call me Hanten’in-san. Najimi is somebody who is immediately the center of attention, so a quiet personality usually contrasts her better.” He laid down all the drinks that he had poured in front of her, and then turned showing his face once again. “So? Where do you want me to start, Kurokami? Or should I say, what do I need to tell you to make you give up?”  
  
“You… you know something didn’t you, Hanten’in-san.” Medaka said slamming her fist across the table causing all of the glasses of soda to shake. Hanten, sitting on the opposite side crossed his legs over and watched her calmly. “You knew that Jabberwock island was a trap, and… if you told Ajimu Najimi about it she wouldn't have been so easily dispatched by Monokuma.”  
  
“I didn’t think you would have blamed me for that. If we’re playing the blame game then I could say the same for you, beautifully persuading the others to come with you for your little rescue plan for your two lost friends.”  
  
“Gh… I’m… sorry, but this and that are different matters, Hanten’insa-n.”  
  
He reached for a glass, picking it up slowly and sipping from its contents in the same passive aggressive way that Ajimu Najimi did. “I’m a shadow. I can do nothing to hinder her actions regardless of how foolish they might be. To be honest, I didn’t expect in the least that Najimi would be trapped here either, or defeated by that teddy bear. If she’s playing along it’s probably… because of you guys…”  
  
He was there that day, he remembered the promise Medaka had made to Ajimu, covered in her own blood and torn clothing, that her next impossibility would be her own suicide. “It’s your fault Najimi is reduced to this pitiful state, and I won’t forgive you for that. But, I’ll folllow her will regardless. I’m going to make you knock it off.” he said, dramatically raising his glass full of soda in front of his face and pointing  a finger directly at her.  
  
“Knock off what?” Medaka said, pointing at her own face.  
  
“Saying things like, ‘I won’t let a single person die’ and ‘I’ll never let this death game start’. If you try to do that, you’ll just paint a target on your back and be the first one picked off. If you die you won’t be able to keep your promise to Najimi either.”

“Just… what am I supposed to do then?”  
  
“Survive. Didn’t you pay attention to the last arc at all? You can’t save everyone, and if you keep trying you’ll cease being human, Kurokami. You should just focus on your own survival, or those closest to you. If you fail to choose, you’ll lose everything.” He set his drink down. Staring forward, he stared at her with an intensity that he had been hiding all this time. It was enough to make even Kurokami Medaka stop and her breath catch in her throat. “I will follow Najimi’s will, and I’ll make you give up trying to save everybody no matter how obstinate you may be.”  
  
Medaka watched him in silence for a moment. Then, she gave a careful and well thought out response, her face reddening with the emotion. “I refuse! I’m not giving up, I’ll never give up, iiiidiiot!”  
  
“DId you even… hear what I said?” Hanten said, taken aback.  
  
“I heard you loud and clear, so, I’ve become even less willing to surrender! I’ll lose everything, iiiiidiot!! As if I, Kurokami Medaka, could turn a blind eye to what’s happening and stop fighting the mastermind if that’s what’s on the line.” She said, standing up and throwing her arm to the side dramatically, her hair trailing behind her.  
  
In the next moment, she was suddenly unable to stand anymore. She fell to the ground, as Hanten had suddenly stood up far faster than she could see and smacked her hard on the back of the head. She rubbed her forehead. “Did… did you just hit a girl?”  
  
“I should have done it sooner! What are you babbling about? There’s no way you can defeat him, don’t you realize that? Why can’t you understand? You’re Najimi’s hope now, you need to protect your own life. You are more important than the others here. Stop pretending to be some kind of perfect superwoman, Kurokami Medaka!” He had thrown up his arms in impatience, but he let them fall to his side. His sudden surge of fury quickly calmed down, and he went back to looking as cold as his eyes. “Well, no matter. If you won’t listen to me then I’ll simply replace you. Kurokami-san, I’m going to run for president against you and Zenkichi tomorrow and win, then I’ll take on the burden of protecting everyone.”  
  
As Medaka was still rubbing her head, he walked past her and to the door. Suddenly, he pulled it open to reveal Ensohima Junko with a cup and her ear pressed against the door to eavesdrop. “It seems we have another listener.”  
  
Junko’s eyes widened, taking in the new information of Shiranui Hanten’s revealed face. “Hey, it’s the guy that’s always hiding his face. You know I was kind of expecting something more dramatic when your face was finally-”  
  
Suddenly, Shiranui Hanten grabbed her by the chin and tilted her head back. His cold eyes, looked over her face. “Enoshima Junko you are a beautifully unique existence. It’s no wonder that place went to such trouble to preserve you.”  
  
“Huh?” Enoshima Junko made a confused noise, as this was one of the few times in her life she had no idea what another person was talking about.  
  
He let go of her then and walked away. “Think nothing of it, there’s no need for the real thing to concerned...”  

♛

 

“Do you know how to slaughter an animal, Hajime-kun?”  
  
“Umm… no, I don’t think so?”  
  
“Looks like these chickens are all useless to us then.” Shiranui said, standing in the middle of the rabbit corral. She scratched at her cheek for a moment just as Hajime had a habit of doing, before looking at one of the chickens. “If only we had a cow. I could use some beef. Jeez, you’re no good at this Hajime-kun.”  
  
“Hey, what am I supposed to do? Wave a magic wand and turn a chicken into a cow?” Hajime snapped, already starting to feel exasperated by the presence of the other.  
  
“The chicken in my hands… is far tastier than the beef inside the freezer… I suppose.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“It’s a German proverb… It means something inferior nearby is far better than something good that’s far away.”  
  
“That’s true, but…. What are we even talking about?” He was getting more lost by the second. Still, there was something Hajime was curious about. “Hey, if you’re the Ultimate Speed Eater and you’re always eating and everything… then how do you stay so small?”  
  
“Oh, that’s because after I finish eating I usually vomit it back up.”  
  
“Huh? Why would you do something like that! That’s no good for your health! You shouldn’t listen to somebody like Enoshima, it doesn’t matter what your weight is if you enjoy eating.”  
  
“No, that’s not it… I don’t enjoy eating, I just do it because I have to. It’s my talent right now. Talent is restrictive like that…” She looked back at Hajime suddenly and barked at him. “Hajime-kun, pop quiz for helping me cook tonight, do you know which meat is the most efficient source of energy..? Which meat contains the most vitamin B1 for converting glucose to energy!?”

 _Why is she acting so serious… It’s even scarier than when she’s laughing at me._ _  
_ _How am I getting pushed around by a tiny girl like this?_ _  
_ _Am I really the most insecure person on the planet or something._ _  
_ _Hmmm… I should just answer._ _  
_ “Umm… is it pork…” He said, guessing randomly. The fact that he got it correct, was merely due to dumb luck, or perhaps dumbass luck.  
  
“Correct… The same amount of pork has ten times the energy efficiency of other meats! Do you understand? TEN TIMES!”  
  
“I-I get it already… What’s your point anyway?”  
  
“Nothing, I was just messing with you.” Shiranui suddenly stuck her tongue out at him. “I had to memorize a bunch of useless information like that at some time in the past. Hey, Hajime-kun, you’re really good at trying to please other people, you should become my assistant.”  
  
“...Huh? But… I don’t even remember that much about myself. We don’t even know if I have a talent that would be useful to you, you know? I’m not sure I’m any good at helping tohers.”  
  
Shiranui let out a puff of air, flippantly. “Memory… Who cares about that?”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“All that matters is the person you’re pretending to be at the moment. Things like memories from the past, are pretty worthless. You should just throw away your past self… it’s meaningless…”

 _Huh? What’s she talking about?_  Hajime did not say anything, he merely stared on in silence.

“Hajime-kun… if… by any chance… If you could become anyone other than yourself… who would you want to be?”  
  
“Anyone other than myself? Hmm… I’ve never thought about it before, but I… I’m definitely find with who I am. Right now, I’m more focused on what I’m supposed to do.”

At this, Shiranui laughed. “Ahyahya. I see, that’s the kind of person you are. I’ve learned everything I need to now. Let’s see how long then, you can satisfied with that real you.”

At that, Shiranui led him away again. Hajime, her helpless helper for the day had no choice but to follow her.

♛

At night time, Zenkichi and Komaeda walked back from the beach. Together all day the two of them had been collecting Monokuma statues in order to get Monocoins, the reason being that Zenkihci wanted to try out the gachapon machine that had been left out on the beach.  
  
He brought Komaeda along, so Komaeda’s luck could be a buffer to his, but also because he claimed it was another competition between the two of them. Zenkichi was the only fool who really believed again and again he could overcome something supernatural like Komaeda’s luck with pure effort alone. Watching him yell in a hot blooded way and pull the gachapon machine only to get something lame from the apsule, was so cute even Komaeda laughed softly.  
  
However, there was one fact that prevented him from enjoying himself. Komaeda knew that Zenkichi was only playing the gachapon machine in order to get a present for Medaka. As they sat on the edge of the boardwalk, going through what they had won for the day Zenkichi kept asking what Komaeda thought Medaka would like.  
  
Eventually he found a knife that appeared from one of the capsules. “Hey, Komaeda, why do they have a knife in a gachapon machine?”  
  
“I recognize that knife, it originally belonged to Ikusaba-san. It must be memorabilia.”  
  
“Oh, like a fake collectors item like when they sell anime swords.” Not that Zenkichi would know about that. Not that he had not totally bought several different anime swords and swung them around alone in his room in middle school in the midst of his chuunibyou phase. “You seem interested in it, do you want it? You won most of these anyway.”  
  
“Ah… yes, thank you. Let me make one thing lear though.” Komaeda reached up and ran his finger on the edge of the knife until he drew actual blood. His skinny body, surrounded by shadows, and the only source of light on him was his white hair reflecting back the moonlight. “This is a real knife. It could easily cut into someone.”  
  
Zenkichi tilted his head back, not quite getting it. Komaeda lamented that. He could easily see his reflection in Zenkichi’s clear eyes. He did not want to appear in those eyes, he did not want to be seen so clearly. Zenkichi was not looking at him anyway, so he may as well have been a shadow to begin with. “Eh? Well… can’t you tell by looking at it? I want to use this knife to kill someone.”  
  
“...?”  
  
“Let me make this clear from the outset. From the moment Monokuma announced it, I’ve wanted the mutual killing to begin, even if you beat me up now and tie me down I won’t give up on it.”  
  
“Komaeda… do you want to get off this island? Are you scared?”  
  
“No… that’s not it. It can’t be helped if a trash like me gets off this island… All I want is for the mutual killing to happen, because I love everyone so much… I love everyone’s power called ‘hope’ form the bottom of my heart. That’s why I supported you all this time Zenkichi, I need to pay you back for the faith you had in me…” He had clutched his face, and then his hands traveled all along his body as he tried to explain these emotions inside of him. He was, twisting up, becoming twisted and more twisted. No, he had been twisted for a long time, this was him unwinding.  
  
This was the result of him pretending to be something better than he was. This was Zenkichi’s fault, for seeing the best in him, and putting up for him for so long. No matter what he did, he was forgiven, he was believed in, but that was not what Komaeda wanted. He saw himself disappear in Zenkichi’s eyes,until he knew that the Komaeda Zenkichi was looking at was no longer him. He was losing track of himself, losing track of who he was supposed to be.  
  
He had started to believe that he might be able to live normally, live with normal friends, laugh with that friendship, live a normal life. There was no way he could let such a false belief take him over. The same way that Enoshima Junko did not exist without her fanatical devotion to despair, Komaeda could not exist without his obsession for hope.  
  
If he let go that which was most central to his being, that which he let define him he would cease to exist. Who would he become? He was absolutely terrified of the answer. As he clutched himself, trying to keep himself together while at the same time coming apart at the seams he finished his explanation. “That’s why I want you guys to prove ‘hope’ won’t lose to despair.”  
  
“Komaeda, what’s wrong… please tell me.”  
  
“Wow, you still don’t understand my feelings do you? Well, that’s fine with me. It’s fine if it’s just my one sided love.” He took a few steps forward, as they had both stood up now, and his hand on his chest as he felt his own beating heart, he leaned in close to intimately whisper at Zenkichi. “By the way… I’ve decided the person I’m going to target is Kurokami Medaka. She’s the one who will stand most in the way of letting the killing game start. If you want to save her, then you’ll have to stop me.”  
  
“I…”  
  
“How disappointing. Are you hesitating? I thought you were going to protect Medaka-chan. Your dreams, your hope, they’re all centered around her.”  
  
Suddenly, the unexpected happened. Komaeda expected Zenkichi to finally snap at him, to beat him up, to reject him, and yet for some reason Zenkichi had suddenly thrown his arms around him. He was embracing, the person who had just threatened to kill his most precious person. Komaeda felt Zenkichi’s chin rest on his shoulder. “You’re not like that, Komaeda! I know you aren't’t! One day, I’m sure you’ll understand. I know who you are in your heart, you don’t like hurting others! You don’t have to force yourself to do something like that because you think you have to. We’ll figure something else out I promise…”  
  
“...” Komaeda stared forward, his eyes completely blank. He could not handle this.  
  
“Just don’t go acting on your own okay. You’re not alone!”

 _I am._ _  
_ Komaeda thought. He knew he was alone, because he deserved to be. He was happy when Monokuma anounced this was going to be a killing game after all, because, he selfishly decided this was his own change to be useful.  
  
_I am alone._ _  
_ _Zenkichi…_ _  
_ _Even though your arms are around me right now._ _  
_ _I can’t feel a bit of your warmth._ _  
_ _The Komaeda you’re friends with, it must be a fake me._ _  
_ _Those feelings can’t reach the real me._ _  
_ _I’ve been by your side for a long time now but…_ _  
_ _I don’t feel it anymore._ _  
_ _I don’t feel anything._ _  
_ _My heart isn’t pounding like it did when the killing game was announced.  
_ _Those were... my real feelings!  
_ _Badump._ _  
_ _Badump. Badump. Badump. Badump. Badump. Badump._ _  
_ _No, this isn’t how I really feel._ _  
_ _I can’t feel this way._ _  
_ _Because, I’m not the one you want to embrace like this._ _  
_ _You’re just pitying me._ _  
_ _I hate you._ _  
_ _That’s it._ _  
_ _I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you._ _  
_ _I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you._ _  
_ _I’ve started to hate it._ _  
_ _All the time we’ve spent together._ _  
_ _All the times you’ve smiled at me._ _  
_ _Your kind words are daggers to me._ _  
_ _I resent all of it._ _  
_ _Because I hate you._ _  
_ _I hate that I love you._ _  
_

Like a machine. Komaeda’s next words were entirely faked. A performance. “Yeah… you’re right. I’m sorry. Please, forget about what I said. Hitoyoshi-kun.”  
  
Zenkichi did not notice the difference. Of course he did not notice. The person in front of him was not Komaeda Nagito. In turn, the person standing in front of Komaeda Nagito was not Hitoyoshi Zenkichi. He was, some other person. Some other existence. He was the other, that was to say, he was too unlike Komaeda for Komaeda to even recognize him.   
  
Yet, despite not seeing Zenkichi he could still feel him. He could feel his hands, grabbing him, groping at him, twisting his body up and reshaping him like he was clay. He could accept him so easily because he could not see him at all, that was the conclusion Komaeda came upon after deliberating on it for so long. He was just trying to raise him to be the person that Zenkichi was instead.   
  
 _It's not just Medaka.  
_ _I hate the person you see me as._  
_  
_ However, there was someone else watching from the doorway of the old shack that did. Shiranui Hansode small enough to conceal her presence, peered through a crack in the door. Even though she was quite small though she did not go entirely unnoticed.

A hand appeared on her shoulder. An insincere voice spoke from the shadows. 『I know we were only classmates for a short time, Shiranui-chan but listen to me. You should just leave it alone, us minus can’t make anything better. If we meddle it’ll only get worse.』Kumagawa said, before he picked up his broom again and went back to cleaning.  
  
Shiranui looked away, annoyed that she was getting lectured by Kumagawa of all people.   _Reality is such a pain. And for those of us who get fed up with that kind of reality, we can choose to make a new one (lie). We create little walls, and separate the trash from the stuff we like. In that way a simulation isn’t bad right? Everybody always says the real thing is better but.. I wonder… if somebody had the choice. If somebody was really experienced both a simulation and reality, if they’d be able to choose between the two so easily._ _  
_


	5. Jet Black Jabberwock (5 - Murderer x Victim)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A body has been discovered!

Thwap!  
Thwomp!  
Thwack!  
  
“Misogi, why do you keep touching things in the restaurant?”

『I’m looking for monocoins! Sometimes when you shake the furniture, coins come out.』Kumagawa said, as he ineffectually shook the table they were all seated at. A moment later, Junko lost her patience and dragged him back up to the table by his collar to sit next to her.

Komaeda tapped the table that Kumagawa had just been hitting, and it spat out several monocoins. "Oh my, how lucky."  
  
A late night dinner had been called,with Hinata, Komaeda  Kumagawa, Junko, Shiranui Hanten, Shiranui Hansode, Ajimu  and Medaka were all present.  
  
The matter at hand were the rooming arrangements, now that there were two more people to room. The only two with empty rooms were Hinata and Komaeda. Ajimu had a spare room as well but she technically was not a student and they did not know the rules for that. Medaka and Junko had come along because they did not want to room with each other, and Kumagawa got dragged there by Junko. 『What was Monokuma-chan thinking anyway? If Junko and Medaka-chan keep sharing a room, one of them is pretty much guaranteed to kill the other.』

“I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what he was thinking, Misogi.” Junko said, correcting him. “If Shiranui wants to switch with me and room with she-hulk, I’m all for it though.”  
  
SItting at the opposite side of the table, Medaka kept her arms crossed across her chest, and her expression firm. “No.” She said in response.  
  
“What? Are you starting to like me or something? Is this part of your whole I love every human being schtick because-”  
  
“No, it’s simply unwise to take my eyes off of my enemy. Sharing a room gives me more opportunities to find evidence that you are the mastermind.”  
  
“Not the mastermind, kay? And Ewe, quit stalking me.”  
  
"It's not her fault, anybody would want to follow a radiant talent like yours, Enoshima-san." Komaeda said, but nobody was really paying attention to him.   
  
Shiranui let her head fall against the table. Her food was almost entirely untouched, despte the large amount she had stacked in front of her. This was the opposite of Medaka who was currently picking the meat off of a bone she just finished with her teeth. Shiranui looked up at the display and sighed. “I don’t really care which one I get stuck with, both princesses are too high maintenance for me to get along with.”  
  
“Then how about both at once?” Ajimu said, sipping her tea while holding her cup in both hands. “There’s plenty of room in my cabin. We could all have a sleepover together, I’m quite good at preserving the peace. I’ve been doing it since middle school due to a certain pair of children who kept trying to meddle with each other.”

Medaka suddenly dropped the bone she had been holding, and picked up her own tea to sip it casually. “I have no idea who you could possibly be referring to, I don’t ever get involved in others business.”

Kumagawa too, casually started to eat his own food. 『I have never done anything wrong, at least nothing that was my fault.』  
  
Hinata, feeling left out put his food bowl down and leaned into the conversation. “Wait, have some of you known each other since middle school?”

“Hitoyoshi-kun, Kumagawa-kun Medaka-chan and I all went to Ark Middle School together, of course during their middle school days though all Kumagawa and Medaka ever did was fight. They were quite cute back then, Medaka-chan even had pigtails.” Ajimu explained as she put her tea down, and rested her chin in her hands.

  
“See, if I were the mastermind I would have erased memories like that…” Junko said, staring empitly at her food. “Wait, pigtails, what were you doing stealing my look!?”  
  
“I didn’t even know you back then,” Medaka replied.  
  
“I don’t want to have a sleepover, I’d rather just Kurokami-san and fight until one of us tries to kill the other that sounds preferable to me.” Junko said, crossing her arms in her obstinance.  
  
Ajimu scooted closer to Junko, grabbing the sides of her face and pulling her blood red lips into a smile as she pinched at her cheeks. “Come on, Junko-chan. We can do each other’s nails, braid hair, and all that other girly stuff you love. We can even gossip behind everybody’s backs.”  
  
“No, thank you.” Junko said, swatting Ajimu’s hands away from her. “Doing any of that hardly sounds worth it, even for the despair of having to share sleeping space with people I hate.”

  
“It sounds like a great idea to me,” Kurokami Medaka said.  
  
“If that’s what the princess wants, then I’ll go along with it too.” Shiranui agreed with her, looking disinterested from both her food and the entire conversation.  
  
Ajimu put one hand one Enoshima Junko’s shoulder. “Looks like you’ve been out voted, Junko-chan.” Kurokami put a hand on the other, and then a few moments later Junko was dragged away.

“Wait, did you really fight Kurokami a lot back in middle school? Why are you guys like this now?” Hinata asked, feeling even more suspicious of Kumagawa than he had been a moment ago.

『Hmm… I dunno, I changed. I guess.』  
  
“People don’t change so easily.” Hinata kept his target like pupils fixed on Kumagawa as the other boy got up to leave as well.

At Hinata’s assertion, Kumagawa shrugged casually his hands in the pocket of the black uniform he was wearing.『People can change a lot in this world, Hinata-chan. Back in those days, all I lived for was for Ajimu, so when Medaka-chan took her attention away I attacked her like a spoiled child fighting over a toy. Ever since meeting Junko though I...』  
  
“I don’t get what you mean…”

『I guess you wouldn’t… 』Kumagawa did not explain any further and left his hands still in his pockets. Hajime stared at his back for a long time, trying to comprehend it, but he gave up. It was like trying to discern the shape of something while staring at an ever shifting shadow.  
  
Hajime let his expression fall. “I wanted to have a slumber party too.” He said, feeling left out again. Suddenly, a hand appeared on his shoulder. He looked up to see Shiranui Hanten, staring at him with ice blue eyes. The corners of Hajime’s eyes watered. “Hanten’in-san. You wanted to share a cabin too, you were just too shy to ask.”  
  
Hanten nodded at him.

  
Komaeda suddenly popped up, as he finished picking up monocoins from the floor. "And I'll come too!"

  
"Komaeda-kun is coming too, apparently..." Hinata added. 

 

♛

 

Ajimu looked at the silent atmosphere, as Medaka and Junko both silently glared at one another from opposite sides of the tatami floor, and Shiranui sitting in between them silently sipped her tea ignoring both of them.  
  
“So…” Ajimu began awkwardly, she was not a human being after all. “Let’s gossip, do you want to talk about first love?” She was only met with all three girls turning their glares on her, suspicion, murderous intent, and indifference. What varied reactions to such a normal topic of conversation, but then again not a single girl in this room could be called normal. “I’ll go first then. This is embarrassing but… my first kiss was Kumagawa-kun.”

At this, Enoshima Junko crushed the paper cup that was in her hand. Her red nails curled, tighter and tighter around each other. “Look, I don’t need to be reminded that the reason Misogi is currently obsessed with me is because he was obsessed with you in the past, and we’re similar.”

Just glad that somebody else was talking, Ajimu continued the conversation. “Don’t you think that’s a little hypocritical Junko-chan?”  
  
“What are you talking about?” Junko said, tilting her head slightly confused.  
  
“A boy with shaggy hair, an unkempt appearance, can’t tie his tie all the way, has a gloomy personality, incredibly sharp tongued, and is constantly reading manga all the time. Am I describing Yasuke-chan or Kumagawa-kun?” Ajimu said, tilting her head and sticking her tongue out imitating the way Junko usually did. She managed to convey a lot of sass, even though her face was half bandaged up. “You have a type too, definitely.”

Junko immediately rolled over and pulled a blanket over her head. “This conversation is boring.”  
  
“You’re only saying that because you’re starting to lose.”  
  
“Well, obviously!”  
  
Ajimu with her elbow on the floor, rested her chin on one hand. “Kumagawa-kun lately is even starting to dress like Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome?”  
  
At this, Junko suddenly rolled back for a moment. “Whose Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome?”  
  
“The god with raven black hair and crimson eyes.”  
  
“Who?” Junko repeated again.  
  
At that, Ajimu tilted her head too. Before either girl could clarify though, between them Kurokami Medaka spoke up. “I had a first love too, but mine ended abruptly short.” Every girl suddenly paid attention to Kurokami. She had that effect on people. Ajimu might have said it was the natural tendency of somebody who could be called a main character to always be in the center of other’s eyes, but in my opinion she was just an attention hog.  
  
“So, there was another guy you liked? That’s cruel to Hitoyoshi-kun.” Junko said, peeking out her red eyes from underneath her blanket. “He might get jealous.”  
  
“Ahahaha… What are you saying, Enoshima-san? For you to say things that are so off the mark, your super highschool level analysis must be all talk. It’s impossible for him to get jealous, since I was already rejected by Zenkichi.”  
  
“What? Did something happen… Do you guys have more memories than me?” Junko said, her mind scrambling for a moment.  
  
“Hmmph… It’s embarassing to talk about, but sure. It was fourteen years ago.” Medaka told a familiar story, about the room she had run away to with an average boy. About all the puzzles spread across the floor, solved by her easily, about how the young boy danced happily around her and said those naive words. _You must have been born to make other people happy._  
  
“Yes, it was the day that I first met Zenkichi, it was the first time that someone saved me. I’m not exaggerating but I really thought I was saved, so I couldn’t go on without putting my feelings into words.”  
  
Young Medaka, only two years old but with her purple hair cut at about her ears, and a single antenna sticking out from the rest of what was a well combed bob, her eyes looked over every inch of him. She knew this boy must have been a special existence, to say words that that could save her so easily. Yet, no matter how many times she looked him over she could not determine what it was about him was that special.  
  
He was a normal boy, with sandy blonde hair and a darker coloring underneath. His hair spiked a little bit around the edges, but not as much a say a main character in a manga would. He sat on the ground in front of her continuing to play with his toys as she stood with her hands on her hips.  
  
As a child, she tried to put a feeling to this warmth. She only understood what had been explained to her though, and not a single adult had even bothered to try to explain what emotions, simple ones like happiness, or complex ones like love, even were. They had just already assumed she knew it. Only two years old, and they all assumed she already had the mind of an adult, so they did not bother to show her any emotion or care at all.  
  
All she could do was observe their hollow systems. So, she thought about what an adult might do in this situation, and just like the child she really was she copied them. Her face turned red, and she hesitated for just a moment, before speaking her feelings out loud and her head held high like she always did. “Th… then. Zen-kichi! Please… Please marry me!”

In that moment, two year old Zenkichi closed his eyes and rather flippantly said. “Ehhhh… That’s a no.” It was so quick and childish a rejection, that he would immediately forget about it later.  
  
However, Kurokami had never once been told no in her life by the adults around her. She had been given everything she wanted, the moment she wanted it, and she could always make others easily show her attention, praise, affection as a reward for her amazing talent. In that moment, what she understood about the world crumpled behind her, her eyes were wide and her mouth was left hanging open. The irrational way she acted next must have been because of that moment. Upupupupupu.  
  
“That was my first and last rejection. Well, Zenkichi is a nice guy. He let me stay as his friend from then on…” Hmm? What’s so funny, Enoshima-san?”  
  
“Oh, sorry…. I didn’t mean to laugh. Poor Hitoyoshi-kun, you and Misogi are the exact same type of idiot, huh?”  For the first time in her life, Junko actually managed to pity somebody else besides herself. What an incredible feeling.  
  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Medaka snapped back at her, not quite getting it.  
  
Ajimu too, was taken aback staring blankly in amazement. “Medaka-chan… is it possible that you’re just an idiot?”

“Why are you all ganging up on me suddenly?” Medaka looked around, still not getting it.  
  
“Can we talk about something else?” Shiranui asked, rolling over in her own blankets and trying to stare out the window. The more she heard Medaka talk about Zenkichi, the more distant she felt from this situation. After all, the closer Medaka came to realizing her feelings about Zenkichi, the more human she became by the minute.  
  
“Sure, I’ve got an idea, let’s talk about murder!” Junko said, rejoining the conversation and gleefully kicking her bare feet behind her back as she laid on her stomach. “Come on, isn’t there anybody you guys are dying to kill? Murder’s the kind of thing that’s on every girl’s mind at our age.”  
  
“Hmmm, that definitely sounds like something the mastermind would say.” Medaka said, eyeing her with suspicion once more.  
  
“Would you stop vagueing at me about me being the mastermind? Either kill me, or shut the fuck up.” Junko Enoshima said, while it sounded utterly ridiculous like everything else she said, there was an element of truth to it. If she could plant despair in the heart of somebody like Kurokami Medaka that tried to save everybody she fought against, she would easily give her life.

“I’m not going to kill anybody on this island. No, I would never kill…”  
  
“That’s interesting, coming from somebody who killed their own father.” Ajimu casually mentioned, while sipping her tea once more.  
  
Junko, who had been entirely disinterested in doing anything but sleeping and ignoring the other girls in the room until a moment ago had her eyes suddenly light up. “Miss Perfect did what now?” She said, and in a moment she was immediately next to Kurokami Medaka. “Hey, what did you do? Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me!”

At this scene, Shiranui looked away in disinterest once more. “Now we’re never going to sleep at this rate…”

 

♛

 

“So… uh…” Hajime felt awkward. His slumber party had not been going as he intended, perhaps he should have invited more people. Technically, he had only invited Hanten. Komaeda just showed up at his door when he noticed that there was somebody else in Hajime’s cabin. “You sleep in just your boxers, huh, Hanten’in-san?”  
  
The blue haired Shiranui who usually wore a two piece white suit nodded. As of the moment he was completely bare, except for a pair of boxers. He kept his arms crossed in front of his chest even while he was facing both of the other boys and revealing his face.  
  
“So uh… you wear that insignia even on your boxers?” Hajime continued.  
  
“Yes, Najimi requested I always wear the symbol of the not equals somewhere on my body.” Hanten's cold eyes suddenly grew quite serious. “If you’re that interested in my boxers, if I ever die you can have them. You are the one who seems the most fit to carry the sigil of the not equals.”  
  
“What… why are you offering me your underwear?”  
  
“Isn’t that nice of him? Now he’ll be remembered even if he dies.” Komaeda said, smiling from where he lay down on the ground next to the other two.  
  
“Don’t encourage him, Komaeda! I’m not interested in his underwear I was just trying to make conversation.” Hinata felt out of place once again, but he knew that Komaeda was not good at talking to others from the time they had spent together so far, and Hanten did not like to show his face to others most of the time so he must have been a shy person Hinata reasoned so he took it on himself to generate conversation. “Uhh… so you call Anshin’in-san by her first name, are you guys dating or something?”  
  
At that, Shiranui Hanten chuckled. “Ufufu. That kind of thing is impossible, it would be like a model dating one of their fans.”

“So… you’re her fan, then?” Hinata asked, still feeling a bit behind. Then again he perpetually felt behind.   
  
“That’s a good way to describe it. I feel she’s an incredibly unique existence, but any feelings I have towards her are destined to be one sided. By their nature they will never reach her.” Hanten said, looking off out the window as if he were staring at some far off star.  
  
At this, Komaeda Nagito shifted the position he was laying in. A moment ago he had been laying on his side like a cat, and now he propped himself up to look up at the other. “Hanten’in-san, as somebody who is a fan of talent. I don’t really understand the nature of your talent.”  
  
“My talent stems from my appreciation for unique things. You could call me an Ultimate Ultimate Fanboy too, Komaeda.” Hanten looked at Komaeda after saying this, but for some reason Komaeda looked away.   
  
“Okay, you guys can’t both start talking like that otherwise I’m going to be completely lost.” Hinata said, already starting to look tired. It was a good thing then he was in the middle of a sleepover.  
  
“Think of it this way, I like beautiful things, and beautiful people, so does Komaeda.” Hanten began.   
  
“So… like models and stuff?” Hinata asked, still feeling confused.   
  
“Not just aesthetically pleasing, the beauty we’re talking about is a different kind of beauty. Here, let me use an example do you know of Enoshima Junko?” Hanten reached up and brushed his great hair antannae that fell in front of his face, out of the way as he spoke.   
  
“Uh… not much really, she seems scary.” Hinata shivered. For some reason, he was put off by her the same way he felt something was off about Kumagawa.   
  
“That’s a good assessment. She’s a person who mistreats everybody around her, even the three people who she loves the most, and yet those people stay around her, no matter how they’re treated do you know why that is?” Hanten continued.   
  
“They’re stupid?” Hinata said, rather hypocritically in this narrator's opinion.   
  
“No, it’s because Enoshima Junko is a beautiful existence. Ikusaba, and Kumagawa both feel like they lack something in their own lives, no matter what they do they can never be beautiful on their own, so they try to live their lives in dedication to somebody beautfiul like Enoshima Junko. They cannot live for their own sake, so they live for hers.” Hanten explained in an even voice lacking emotion. 

"What either choice do they have..." Komaeda muttered in a low voice. 

“Ah… that doesn’t sound… right…” Hinata paused.   
  
At Hinata’s reaction, Komaeda pulled a blanket over his head, letting his limbs spread out on the floor like a cat once more.  
  
“One more example, Zenkichi does everything in his life to try to please Kurokami and protect her. Why do you think this is?” Hanten held a finger up in the air.   
  
“Is it because he thinks Kurokami is extraordinary?" Hinata voiced his own thoughts.  
  
“What do you think, Komaeda?” Hanten turned his head to the other who seemed to be shutting out the conversation.   
  
Drawn back into the conversation, Komaeda spoke mostly into his own pillow. “It’s obvious, the reason Zenkichi has such a vibrant hope is because he’s been influenced by Kurokami’s all encompassing hope all of his life. He sees himself as normal and unremarkable which is why he dedicates himself to Kurokami-san.”  
  
“I would say it’s the opposite. Kurokami Medaka is able to live like a human, because she’s always had somebody like Hitoyoshi Zenkichi striving to be by her side. Zenkichi is the source of her hope.” Hanten said, as he unconrssed his arms.   
  
“So… if Zenkichi was gone?” Komaeda asked, suddenly curious.  
  
“Yes, I believe that’d be the only way to shake Kurokami’s hope. That was why Anshin’in-san targeted him during the last arc.” Shiranui Hanten nodded solemnly in affirmation as recrossed his arms.  
  
Hinata laid back in his bed, finally feeling a little tired. “I wish you guys would stop talking about ‘last arcs’ or whatever, I keep feeling left out as the only guy who doesn’t remember what happened…” He was also tired, of being the only person who did not know what was going on. He not only felt left out, he felt out of place. But that could not be true right, after all he was standing among them as one of the ultimate talents.  
  
If there was somebody who did not belong here, it was the untalented and suspicious Kumagawa Misogi.

 

♛

**Dawn of the Third Day, 24 Hours Remain**

 

“Hey, do you want to know what I realized?” Enoshima Junko said that morning, surprising Shiranui from behind as they walked to the restaurant.  
  
Shiranui sighed. “No, but you’re probably going to tell me anyway.”  
  
“You and Kurokami-san have a lot in common, even though you don’t get along at all.”  
  
“Are you going to give me one of those speeches?” Shiranui said, with a roll of her eyes.  
  
“Well, she’s huge and you’re tiny. She’s a plus and you’re a minus. She’s painfully honest, and you’re always lying. She always follows the rules, and you cheat and change them. She has a skill that copies other skills for herself, you have a skill that changes people’s skills for other people.”  
  
“Oh, so yes you are giving me one of those speeches.” She continued to be unimpressed.  
  
“You’re always eating, and she starves herself… except recently she started to eat and you started starving yourself.”  
  
Shiranui bit her lip. It was annoying, being noticed by that girls’ watchful eye. Super HIghschool Level Analysis was such a bothersome abnormality to deal with, Shiranui was glad that she had avoided it for the most part.  
  
“Practically the only thing you have in common is that you both like Zenkichi. Though, I wonder now that she’s starting to like him, are you going to hate him?”  
  
“What… I wouldn’t.”

“I’m just saying you two contrast each other in a suspicious amount of ways, it’s almost like it’s on purpose or something.” She shrugged, as if she was being casual about this but it was obviously fake. Everything she had said, was a careful deduction, and everything she was projecting about herself at that moment was a carefully coordinated act. Shiranui could tell that much at least, because she was used to doing the same. “So, what is Zenkichi to you anyway?”  
  
“He’s… a genuine guy… he’s something real.”  
  
“Huh? But don’t you only like him because Kurokami-san likes him?” A small smile crawled upon those red lips, as she put a finger to them. “Or do you even know what your real feelings are? Well, whatever it’s not like it’s going to matter soon.”  
  
“What are you talking about?”  
  
“Don’t play dumb, it’s obvious what Komaeda’s up to. Those two are the biggest hopes on the island, if he snuffs out one, something really interesting is going to happen to the other one. I thought it was going to be Kurokami-san, but you know I bet if Hitoyoshi-kun died something amazing would happen.” Junko skipped on ahead happily, only looking back for just a moment turning around on her heel with her arms behind her back. “Oh, and here’s advice from somebody who's dealt with a similar problem, at the kind of high octane situations that only despair can cause it’s pretty easy to find out where your real emotions lie.”

"What are you planning on doing?"  
  
"Me? Nothing, or rather I don't need to do anything."  
  
Before Shiranui could say anything else, suddenly Kumagawa appeared waiting for them. He was holding something behind his back. 『Junko, guess what I spent all my monocoins on.』  
  
“Something lame, probably…” Junko said, landing next to him. Even though she was feigning disinterest, she immediately started trying to peek at what was behind his back.

『No, it’s a present because I didn’t get you one on your birthday.』He pulled out a camera, and placed it in her hands. 『I know you miss your phone, so why don’t you take selfies with this? You love staring at pictures of yourself right?』  
  
“You’re making me sound vain, Misogi.”  
  
『It’s not my fault you’re a vain person.』  
  
Junko picked up the camera from his hands and looked at it for a moment. She did absolutely everything she could to look unimpressed. However, Shiranui could see a small change in her lips. Enoshima Junko was smiling. Shiranui could tell, that was her real smile. In that moment, Shiranui became intensely bothered, that somebody like Junko, could smile with genuine emotion like that.

 

♛

  
  
That night, everybody filed into the old hotel building. As he made his way there, Hinata saw Kumagawa and Mukuro standing together talking. He immediately wanted to watch, because of his suspicions towards Kumagawa. Yet, at the same time he did not want to intrude on a girl’s private conversation.  
  
He hid himself behind one of the cabins not wanting to be seen and thought he was creepy for eavesdropping, and in his indecision ended up eavesdropping anyway.

『Mukuro-chan, is there something wrong? You’ve been so quiet lately.』  
  
“I’m always quiet…” She said, looking away from him and instead off somewhere into the distance.

『Are you avoiding me? It was something I did, right? Or does my existence just offend you now? Both of those are pretty understandable reasons, I get it if you don’t want to be associated with trash like me.』

 _Wow, this guy kind of talks like Komaeda…_ Hinata thought for a moment, before he felt isntantly apologetic for comparing Komaeda to Kumagawa of all people.  
  
“It’s not what you did…it’s got nothing to do with you.”

『Ah, so it’s because he’s not here, right? That’s fine too, I know I’m not good enough to-』  
  
“That’s not it either! God, you’re so oblivious. It’s because of that annoying quality of yours that all of this happened.”

『I don’t know what you’re talking about.』  
  
“Ugh… don’t talk to me anymore tonight, I don’t think I can stand being around you.”

『Ah… sorry.』  
  
_Did they get into a fight or something?_ Hinata wondered, as Mukuro walked off and towards the entrance. The moment she did she was stopped at the door by Zenkichi. He searched her body for weapons.  
  
A moment later, the two of them were standing in front of a pile of various knives. Zenkichi eyed her in suspicion. “How did you manage to hide this many?”  
  
“Munakata-san, gave me lessons in concealed weaponry after our fight.”  
  
“So, were you hiding weapons for the same reason Munakata does?”  
  
“I… I just like them okay?” Mukuro said, looking away.  
  
In the background Hinata could hear Ensohima Junko’s voice crying out in agony. “My sister is such a military otaku.”

A few minutes later, when he got through the door himself Hinata sighed. “Hitoyoshi-kun’s check up sure gave me goosebumps.”  
  
“Ah! Hinata-kun!” Komaeda said, greeting him from the other side of the room. “Apparently, Hitoyoshi-kun can disassemble a gun in an instant if he wants to. He learned all those skills to protect Kurokami-san in case she was ever attacked.”

“Wow, I can’t tell if that guy is her bodyguard or her housewife.”  
  
“Haha, I bet he’d take either one as a compliment.”

Everybody had attended the vote, except for two people Fuyuhiko and Peko who had both decided to decline the invitation and abstain from the vote. In the corner, Gundham Tanaka was staring at the wooden boards of the floors as if he was looking for something. Youka Naze, and Kirigiri Kyouko were both talking with Tsumiki, or rather Tsumiki was trying to get their attention.  
  
Enoshima Junko was taking pictures of herself with her new camera, not really caring who else got caught in the background of those pictures. Ikusaba Mukuro was sitting in a corner staring out a window. Shiranui Hanten was not shadowing Ajimu Najimi, but rather he was following around Kurokami Medaka.  
  
Shiranui sat looking at the food she had brought, and was already starting to complain like a child. “Are we going to start soon or what, I might starve to death if we go any longer.”  
  
Kumagawa Misogi had pulled up a chair and sat in it. Every time somebody walked by him, he nervously started to glance around.  
  
“Don’t tell me he has social anxiety!” Hinata said, recognizing a familiar look on Kumagawa’s face.

『I think I’m going to go away from the crowd for a moment...』Kumagawa muttered looking at his feet as he left the room.  
  
Hinata tugged at Komaeda’s sleeve. “Hey, that’s your chance to talk with Kumagawa-kun if you really want to make up with him.”  
  
Komaeda tilted his head. “Why are you so concerned about me, Hajime-kun?”  
  
“Dunno. You just kind of seem like a guy whose no good on his own.” Hinata said, rather honestly. He remembered his earlier conversation with Shiranui Hanten about that exact same thing. _I’m not much better am I? I’m the one who wants to be useful to everyone…_

Speaking of everyone, Hinata looked around again and saw there was somebody missing. Komaeda spoke up first. “By the way, where’s Hitoyoshi-kun?”  
  
“Ah. Hitoyoshi said that the culinary equipment in the kitchen is dangerous and went to collect them. Isn’t he acting a little weird?”  
  
“Really…? You think so? He’s probably just being overprotective when it comes to Kurokami-san again. He’s always like that.”  
  
Zenkichi walked out of the back room, readjusting his glasses. “Phew. You know what I’m starting to think teenagers actually are dangerous.”  
  
Shiranui jumped to his side, smiling athim. “Yippee! The main character finally appears! Now let’s all vote so we can eat.”  
  
“No, wait… Medaka-chan, can you list off everything we brought here.”  
  
In that moment, Medaka turned her head around. “Ah, Zenkichi sure.” She listed off every single item she remembered seeing in the room, with perfect memory. Shiranui Hanten, at the same time mimicked her action turning his head around as well.

“Wow… she’s like a machine…” HInata said, watching Kurokami’s perfect recollection. “Did something happen?”  
  
“Shiranui, we’re missing an iron skewer did you eat it or something?”  
  
“What kind of person do you think I am exactly…” Shiranui Hansode replied flatly. “It was probably missing from the start this is an old lodge.”  
  
“I guess there’s no helping it then… We can have everybody vote in the office then, wait, Komaeda are they all here yet?”  
  
“Ah.. Nope. Nanami and Ajimu said they’d guard the entrance way to stop Monokuma from interfering with the election, and Peko and Kuzuryuu both went off on their own somewhere. It’s weird, those two always avoided being seen together when they were in class.” Komaeda said, crossing his arms and shrugging his shoulders.  
  
“Can we eat now, Hitoyoshi-kun?” The much smaller Shiranui said, grabbing and tugging at his sleeve.  
  
“Not until everybody has voted. Gosh, what are you in such a hurry for.” Zenkichi said, ripping his sleeve away from her.  
  
“Fufufufu, so you’re the man who presumes he can hold power over this island do your best to enertain me!” Gundam said, crossing his arms and posing in front of Zenkichi.  
  
“Fufufu, do your best Hitoyoshi-kun, I want to see what you can accomplish.” Youka Naze said, crossing her arms in the exact same way. A moment later when she noticed Gundham and her were posed the same, she snapped. “Hey, quit copying me!”

Junko suddenly grabbed Mikan by the arm, and pulled her closer. “Come on, Tsumiki-san take a selfie with me. If somebody as pug ugly as you is in the picture then I’ll look way better in comparison.”

Kurokami turned around to look at Shiranui Hanten who was still following her. “Is there a reason you’re doing this?”  
  
“Is there a reason I’m doing this?” Hanten mirrored her question back at her.

“Could you get any more annoying!” Kurokami snapped at him.  
  
“Could I get any more annoying indeed.”  
  
Suddenly, somebody screamed in the middle of the gathered crowd. Gundham Tanaka reached for his ear, his hand shaking in pain. “M-my ‘devildog earring’ is… it’s gone! Has it flown away into subspace? You, detective girl, find the culprit at once!”  
  
Kyoko looked up from the book she was reading. “You probably just dropped your earring… That’s not really a mystery worth solving.”  
  
Zenkichi scratched at the back of his head, causing his spiky hair to become even more uneven. “Guys come on. I started wearing the glasses so you guys could take me seriously. We’re going to have Hanten, Medaka and I make speeches and then we’ll all form a single line and vote… and then….”  
  
Zenkichi was interrupted by the sound of the air conditioners. The children who were growing unruly, looked around at each other. Hinata with a drink in his hand, failed to notice the sound was coming from the air conditioner in the wall. “What was that sound just now…?”  
  
Komaeda too, looked around in confusion. _Wait… the air conditioners… but I wasn’t the one who rigged them so why?  
_  
In that moment, everything went pitch black. In the darkness, Komaeda realized he had been standing exactly where he had plotted to stand earlier this morning just by coincidence. Just by curiosity, he picked up the lamp wire and followed it to the table covered in a tablecloth. At that moment he pulled up the tablecloth, to search for the knife. There was a piece of tape stuck to the table, but the knife was already gone.

 _So… somebody set up the exact trap I was planning but… they’ve already taken the knife?_ Komaeda looked to see there was a glowing trail across the ground. Somebody had taken the knife and gone somewhere else. The trail led far outside the room.  
  
In the dark, Zenkichi and Medaka had similar thoughts.

 _Oh no… I have to stop Komaeda._ _  
_ _  
_ _I have to stop whoever is going to kill…  
_ _  
_ _I must…_ _  
_ _  
_ _Protect…_ _  
_ _  
_ With her superhuman hearing however, Kurokami Medaka could hear something underneath the table. She moved to investigate, only to see nothing under the table at all. At that moment she sighed in relief.  
  
It was exactly what allowed Shiranui Hanten who was following her, to grab her back the back of the hair and throw her backwards. “Move…you're just in the way.” He said, one simple sentence.  
  
One more moment of darkness that felt like an eternity passed, and then the lights suddenly came back on.  
  
Enoshima Junko looked back to Tsumiki Mikan. “I’m surprised you didn’t trip to get everybody’s attention when the light’s came back on.”  
  
“I don’t do that kind of thing anymore… Kumagawa told me I should value myself more.”  
  
“Lame.”  
  
Hinata looked around, feelinguneasy for some reason. Next to him, Komaeda spoke up his feelings once more. “The sudden black out was surprising.”  
  
“...Yeah…”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Where did Hanten’in-san, go… I don’t see him.”  
  
Kurokami stood up all on her own. “Where’s Zenkichi?” Her nose curled in the air, as she smelled something familiar. Something which she had been soaked in head to toe many times before, both her own and others. "I smell blood."  
  
Zenkichi was already standing at the door. “Sorry, I went to go check on something but I couldn’t even make it out of this room.” Suddenly, he pulled open the door only to have something that had been leaning back against it collapse on him.  
  
It took Zenkichi a moment to realize what this weight leaning against him was. It was a body. He moved to the side from revulsion and let it crumple onto the floor. A pitch black uniform, its back cut up and covered in blood.

“M… Misogi-chan?” Mukuro cried out in worry.  
  
The body fell to the floor face first. It was still as death for another moment that seemed like eternity. Then suddenly,  Kumagawa’s finger twitched and he began to write something on the floor.  
  
“He’s… he’s trying to tell us something.” Enoshima Junko said, her eyes transfixed on the sudden, bloodied, beaten and despair filled corpse of Kumagawa Misogi. The message he wrote out was a simple one.  
  
_Nandeya…_ _  
_ _  
_ In other words the message read, _What the hell?_  
  
“Quit screwing around, idiot!” Junko said, kicking at him with the heel of her boots. “What a waste of perfectly good despair, don’t pretend to be dead if you’re not.”  
  
“Don’t scare me like that man…” Zenkichi sighed, putting his hands on his hips.  
  
『Awe, but I really did get stabbed.』Kumagawa said, lifting his head off the ground. Currently, covered in his own blood, he looked like a ghost that you might find in a horror movie. Hinata found himself even more off put by the sight, even though he should probably feel bad about somebody who had just gotten stabbed.  
  
“Are… are you okay, Kumagawa-kun.” Mikan said rushing over to his side as well.

『Ah, this is nothing, nothing at all. I won't die, it's not time for a double murder yet. These are just some more beautiful wounds for Mikan-chan to treat.』  
  
Kurokami Medaka did not have time to get distracted by the scene though. She had made her way to the table she had been pushed away from when the blackout began. Slowly, she lifted the tablecloth of the table on the far side of the room, the only one covered in a lamp.  
  
“Why… why is Hanten’in-san… why…” Kurokami Medaka muttered unintelligibly as she did not understand the scene in front of her. She did not understand that she had failed to save someone. Her eyes were rejecting that sight.  
  
Hajime walked over to her. In that moment he did not want her to bear the burden of looking at what was underneath the tablecloth alone. The moment he saw it though, he instantly regretted it. The sight of the other he had shared his cabin with yesterday, his blue hair now drenched in blood, his white uniform soaked all the way through until the not equal symbol which he was so proud of wearing had been entirely obscured by the red stains.  
  
In the distance, he heard somebody laughing  
He was sure, a clown was laughing at them.  
  
Enoshima Junko smiled. “A body has been discovered.” She announced before the alarm could even go off.


	6. Jet Black Jabberwock (6 - Crime x Punishment)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All of these trial chapters are just going to be monsters...

“Upupupupu! Oh no! Something entertaining has happened. I gave you guys him back and you manage to kill him in less than a day, you’re all so insatiable.”  
  
A few moments after they discovered the body, and the alarm rung Monokuma suddenly appeared in the house. Kurokami Medaka slowly turned her head back to glare at him.  
  
“I’m going to punch the bear…” She muttered, in a low and determined voice.  
  
Only for Hitoyoshi Zenkichi to once again jump on her and grab her from behind. Don’t punch the bear!”  
  
“Yeah c’mon supergirl, don’t destroy literally the only cool person on this island besides myself.” Enoshima Junko said as she crossed her arms behind her head and leaned against a wall. Standing next to her was Tsumiki Mikan who was currently supporting an injured Kumagawa Misogi around her shoulders. Kumagawa initially attempted to hold onto Junko for support, only for her to duck out of the way and say _Ewe, I don’t want my outfit stained with loser blood._ Despite that though, she continued to hover around him watching closely his every twitch of pain on his face as the fresh stab wounds on his back were irritated.  
  
In the middle of all the collected teens though, there was a dead body on the old wooden floor underneath a table, partially obscured by the table cloth that had been dropped back down upon it.  
  
One student (Shiranui Hanten) had been killed, and the other critically injured (Kumagawa Misogi). Kurokami medaka and Hitoyoshi Zenkichi had completely failed in their objective of preventing the killing game from ever starting. All reacted with mixed shock, fear, horror, distrust, except for Enoshima Junko who felt a slight bump of excitement from her usual boredom, and Kumagawa Misogi who looked on with indifference.

Monokuma mirrored Enoshima Junko’s ecstatic reaction. “A corpse has been found, after a short time of investigation we’ll start a class trial.”  
  
Hinata, playing the role of that one dumb character who asks obvious questions so the rest of the characters could be informed, asked Monokuma after a stunned pause. “A… class trial?”  
  
Monokuma brought both of his paws to his mouth, covering it as he laughed. “Upu-pupu… I told you guys before to find out who the blackened is right?” His hands traveled to his cheeks as he squished the cute and marketable fplush of his face. “If you guys don’t investigate and figure out who’s the blackened, I’ll punish everyone besides the blackened.”  
  
“...Find the killer?” Hinata said, performing admirably his role of that one clueless guy. “Are you saying that… the murder is one of us!”

One wold expect in this moment, Medaka or Zenkichi, the two who were the most against the idea of the murderer being among them to speak up, however they were both staring in silence at the body unreadable expressions on their faces, Zenkichi held onto Medaka’s back still erfusing to let go.  
  
The person to speak up raising a closed fist in the air as if grasping at something empty was Komaeda. “I don’t believe it! I won’t believe it… that the person who murdered Shiranui-kun is one of us… There’s no way something hopeless like that happened.”  
  
Mukuro sitting by the window still raised her head for just a moment. “That sounds like something… Makoto would say…”  
  
“Komaeda…” Hinata’s eyes visibly softened, his shaking stopping as he felt steadied by the presence of the other.  
  
“...But, that’s why I’ll investigate Shiranui-kun’s death. There’s no need for us to dstrust or lie to each other, the thing we should be fighting isn’t our allies it should be… the despair.”

『.....Hah』Kumagawa said under his breath, concealed from everyone as he leaned on Tsumiki’s shoulder and dug his face into the crevasse of her neck, a smile spread, slowly, until his hidden face contorted in the sick expression.  
  
Seeing the hope shine on Komaeda’s face, Hinata began to cling to that idea Komaeda put forward. “The hopeless reality… the enemies we need to fight…”Silently though, an idea crept into the back of his mind. He had felt so useless all this time, even watching somebody die in front of him he felt powerless, but now the two strongest personalities on the island were staring in silence. If he could step up… _I could be useful. That’s why I have no choice._ He hooed a finger around his chin, eyes still narrowing with worry as he glanced to the side. “To survive against the enemy we have no choice but to do it.”  
  
Chiaki folded her hands over her chest. “Having to investigate a friend’s death, how cruel.”  
  
Next to her, Ajimu put a hand on the side of her face. “Yes, I can’t imagine even what kind of terrible brat would design this game.”  
  
Medaka finally raised her head from her silence. “... An investigation is unnecessary. I’ll punish the culprit right now.” In a moment she had shrugged Zenkichi off of her effortlessly.  
  
She crossed the gap between her and Junko in the next moment, however, she hestated her fist freezing before it could hit it’s target. Kumagawa once again stepped in front of Junko, even injured and barely able to stand as he was. He held both of his arms up in front of Junko protectively.  
  
Behind him, Junko only smirked. “Wow, you were going to hit the guy who's already been stabbed. How cruel can your justice be, Kurokami-san?”  
  
Medaka’s fist shook in the air, but she pulled it back. Whatever doubt she was feeling multiplied in that moment, as up until this point she had gone through the entirety of her life without feeling hesitation or doubt once, now it was like shackles that surrounded her entire being.

“So umm…” Mikan spoke up as she rushed to grab the swaying Kumagawa again. “In genereal, what do we need to do?”  
  
“It’s obvious, but except for the ultimate detective we’re all amateurs. We should cooperate together with her.” Komaeda suggested, looking to Kyoko.  
  
Kyoko turned her head back, as she had already started to move away. “You all would just hold me back, I’ll investigate this alone.” She said, running a hand through her hair and flipping one of her braids as she turned away and left.  
  
“Of course what was I thinking trash like me could never be helpful to a talent as refined as the ultimate detective. Still, as ultimate students we should all try to contribute or best effort…” He raised a finger in the air curling it at his lips. “We can partner up, and investigate and from there we explain that Hanten's killer isn’t one of us.”  
  
Zenkichi spoke up first. “I’ll watch over Medaka-chan.”

Shiranui popped up on the other side of the fuming giantess Medaka. “Then, I’ll watch the princess too, babysitting her is a job for two people. First you put me to work in the kitchen then as your third wheel you guys really do work me to the bone, ahyahya!” She said, right before Zenkichi and her dragged Medaka away.   
  
“I… uh.... I wanted to be helpful looking over the corpse but somebody needs to bandage Kumagawa’s wounds,” Mikan said, shaking with her reply which in turn caused Kumagawa’s limp boy to shake.  
  
“Then I’ll look at the body, you guys don’t mind if I do a disection right?” Naze said, crossing her arms. She glanced around with her one showing eye at everyone’s horrified expressions. “So, that’s a yes, right?”  
  
“No, they’re just too shocked to say no!” Hinata said, reacting the most normal way.  
  
Naze looked back to Kumagawa tilting her head unnaturally as she did. “If you let me dissect you, we could probably get some insight on who stabbed you, Kumagawa-senpai.”  
  
Kumagawa laughed light heartedly. 『Ahahahaha- that kind of thing should best wait until I’m dead.』  
  
“Then why are you selfishly insisting on staying alive? I’m sure if you left those wounds open they’d bleed out in a few minutes.” Naze said, her eye shining bright eager at another disection.  
  
『Ah, well that’s just me, foolishly insisting on living.』Kumagawa, smiled at that.

“Naze’s right, Kumagawa is being selfish for making Mikan waste her talent on an untalented person like him, but there’s no helping that.” Komaeda said with a sigh. “The rest of us Ultimates need to contribute for the greater good.”  
  
As he said that, Gundham was shoving the side of his head on the ground like some kind of ostrich. “My earring… has anybody seen my earring… my devil dog earring without it how will I ever claim my birthright left for me by my true parentage.”

Komaeda ignored him and turned to Junko. “Ensohima-san, your analytical abilities should be perfectly suited towards this situation.”  
  
“Wow! Komaeda-senpai said something that wasn’t totally worthless for once. I’m definitely the smartest person in the room, if you’re trying to flatter me though you don’t get any Junko points for pointing out the obvious.”  
  
Komaeda smiled at her for a moment, waiting. “So, what do you think?”  
  
“Umm… well like I said it’s really obvious who did it.”  
  
“That's wonderful now we don’t have to worry we can put our trust in your tale-”  
  
“Huuuuuuh?” Junko said with a sudden tilt of her head. “Why would I tell you losers, where’s the fun in that for me?” Junko waved them off with a nonchalant flick of her wrist, “What kind of mystery novel just solves it immediately without even looking over the evidence, I’m doing this out of courtesy for our audience aren’t I so nice? Now, shoo, shoo.”

At that, Mukuro stopped looking away from everyone and uncrossed her arms. “I’ll watch over Junko and make sure she doesn’t tamper with anything.” She said, walking over and grabbing her sister by the hand and then dragging her away.

Komaeda looked to Kumagawa once more. “Do you remember who stabbed you?”  
  
At this, Kumagawa smiled. However, that smile quickly disappeared as a pathetic expression took over his face, and he posed dramatically like he was performing the role of a dying person in a play. 『I was stabbed. I’m so lightheaded. I can’t possibly be expected to remember such a terrible thing. How could something so unfortunate happen to me of all people? I’m not used to dealing with tragedy like this at all oh woe is me.』  
  
Komaeda merely smiled back at him. “That’s fine, nobody expected anything from an untalented person like you anyway, Kumagawa-kun.”

♛

  
Monokuma finally arrived. As nobody really liked Monokuma (what terrible taste those children had) they had not noticed him vanish. “Ta-da! It’s the Monokuma files!” Monokuma said, holding a new tablet in the air.  
  
“Monokuma files?” Hinata repeated again as if the words were echoing around his empty head before finally coming out his mouth.  
  
“The monokuma files courteously collects and confirms fact regarding the body, good luck on your investigation!” He said, before shoving the tablet into Hinata’s hands, and then skipping away on his two cute plush feet.  
  
Hinata scrolled through the information on the tablet. _The body was discovered in the main hall of the old lodge. The time of death is 11:30, the wounds discovered are throat to belly cuts. In addition there’s no particular trauma nor trace of drug._ “Hanten’in-san is really dead…” Hinata said, adding another brilliant of his to this case.  
  
Hinata, took the initiative to wander off on his own. As the other talented eccentrics seemed to be doing just that, instead of coming together like Komaeda suggested. He walked out of the room still holding the monopad in his hand and carefully stepped over the pool of blood that had formed when Kumagawa collapsed. There were blood droplets all down the hallway, leading to the office. Seeing one more large stain of blood in the middle of the office where blood had splashed onto the ground Hinata deduced this is where Kumagawa originally got stabbed.  
  
He walked back and ten lifted the sheet of the table once more. For some reason, he was not as chilled by the sight of blood as he thought he would be. He was almost… used to it. No, he was probably just repressing his reaction to be brave right now. He leaned forward and pushed Hanten’s body over with an unshaking hand, and saw there was nothing hiding, no murder weapon. However, there was a splash of glowing paint on the floor. He looked up and saw beneath the table a piece of tape hanging but whatever it had secured their originally was missing.  
  
Just then he felt cold air, breathing down his neck. “Hey, your first dead body. Not as fun as you thought it’d be right? I get that feeling.” Enoshima Junko said, suddenly behind him. She was pushing her sister’s face away with a red clawed hand easily holding her back.  
  
“Uh….” _It’s that girl that gives me the same scary vibes that Kumagawa does._  
  
“What’s with that blank expression?” Junko asked, and then she tilted her head to look at Hanten. “So he was the first to go, huh? How boring.”

 **How boring.** **  
** A voice repeated in his head, at the exact same time that Junko spoke. Hinata suddenly tried to stand up in shock, but only accomplished hitting his head on the table, eliciting a mocking giggle form Junko.  
  
When he finally straightened up again, rubbing his head he saw Komaeda appear again. The sight of the bright smile of that boy with shining white hair that curled in every direction was enough to distract Hinata.  
  
“Do you have a second? Have you found any clues in the hall?” Komaeda asked.  
  
“Yeah…” Hinata’s gaze trailed away. “I searched outside this room, there’s a trail of blood leading from the office to the doorway to this room that’s where Kumagawa-kun was stabbed probably, and he most likely just stood up and made his way to the door on his own considering how easy he could stand up on his own just a moment ago with Medaka-chan. However, around Hanten’in-san’s body there’s no evidence of a knife eh could have been stabbed with. There is however, a glowing stain under the table and a piece of tape that could have been holding something under the table. Third, Hanten’in-san’s body doesn’t look like it has been moved or dragged unlike Kumagawa-kun. He was killed under the table during the blackout.”

Suddenly, his tablet beeped.Hinata quickly removed the E-pad from his pocket.  
  
**Evidence found**  
>Monokuma File  
>Trail of Blood  
>Glowing Stain  
>Tape under Table  
>Hanten’in-san’s body  
  
“Oh well this is convenient.” Hinata thought about it for a moment. “Wait! What is this a video game?”  
  
Chiaki suddenly moved in his face. “What’s wrong with treating it like a video game! We have an objective to clear and if we put our best effort forward then everything will work out.”  
  
“See, spoken like a true advocate of hope.” Komaeda joined in with her, getting just as close to Hinata’s face. Hinata suddenly felt like he was being ganged up on. “That’s a way to use your talent as the ultimate gamer to inspire hope in others, I do so admire you.”  
  
Chiaki tilted her head quietly for a moment. “Do you even like video games, Komaeda…”  
  
"Yes, they're especially fun to play with children." Komaeda said smiling innocencently.  
  
Growing increasingly flustered, Hinata backed away from them and changed the subject. “Wait, Komaeda, did you find anything?”  
  
Komaeda  pressed a curled finger to his lips once more. “Hmm… In the main hall, the airconditioner timer was set up at 11:30… It’s the same time that Hanten’in-san was killed.”  
  
Mukuro, dragging Junko away from the dead body tilted her head in a manner similar to her sister. “11:30? I remember that the time of the airconditioner in the office is the same.”  
  
“The airconditioner in the office too…? This isn’t a coincidence.” Hinata said.  
  
“Anyway, the reason i came back here is to because I decided to be nice to you losers anyway. Here’s a present.” She said, handing a bundle of Hinata. It was a stack of several polaroid pictures.  
  
“These are just… pictures of you..” Hinata said, staring at the several selfies of Junko. She was a beautiful girl and every selfie seemed perfectly positioned and timed to show these features of her off, beautiful in the way a black widow was if you were into that sort of person. Which apparently, only Kumagawa among them had that kind of bad taste.

“No! Look at how you losers kept photobombing me in the background.”  
  
“Umm… I’m sorry?”  
  
“No, that’s a hint! God I gotta do everything around here.”  
  
“You’re very purposefully not being helpful.” Hinata countered.  
  
“If you analyze the photos and compare the dimensions you can draw a diagram of where everybody is standing… ugh fine I’ll just do it. You losers are so lucky to have me.” She said as she grabbed a piece of paper and quickly scrawled out a perfect chart of where everybody was standing.  
  
“I… I’m pretty sure you’re the only one who thinks that.” _And maybe Kumagawa but his standards are too twisted._ Hinata concluded as he looked at the chart which Junko had given him. “Oh, this is drawn really well, even if the pink pen is hard to read.”  
  
“Enoshima-san’s talent is quite nice, it’s too bad the rest of her is like that.” Komaeda said, looking over Hinata’s shoulder reading the diagram with him.  
  
“Oh, you wish you could be like this…” Junko said as one final confident taunt before Mukuro struggling against her finally managed to drag her away again. _No wonder I have no confidence, Junko seems to be be hoarding all the confidence in the world for herself._ Hinata thought as he watched her go.

Suddenly, a much less confident voice spoke up while they were looking over the drawing. “Ummm… I have examined Kumagawa-kun’s body the best I could under these circumstances. I think that his back was pierced with a short, serrated weapon, and he was stabbed at least ten times with his back turned with no sign of a struggle….”  
  
“Wait, did you really dissect Kumagawa?” Hinata said thoughtlessly.  
  
Immediately, Mikan broke out crying. “Uwaaaaaaa! What kind of person do you think I am? I… I just wanted to be helpful while tending to his wounds!”  
  
“T-take it easy, I think I get most of what you were trying to say…” Komaeda said, holding his hands up at his sides to shrug.

Naze behind her spoke up as well. “I analyzed the corpse, his body was pierced with a long, fine sharped weapon, that penetrated him many times and ruptured his organs again and again.” Naze said, as a fanged smile spread twisting the bandages on her face. “The color of his freshly cut intestines bright red was really beautiful.”  
  
“Uwaaaa! I-I’m sorry, I’m really sorry…” Tsumiki’s body shook and mushrooms grew on her head. “I’m sorry, I’m not as good as her.”

 _Woah, there’s even mushrooms on you._ Hinata said, plucking one off in amazement. “Uhh… I mean… Thanks Tsumiki. It’s fine. I don’t think finding organs beautiful is that good of a quality.”  
  
“Then… we can conclude our research in the main hall,” Komaeda diplomatically suggested again.  
  
Just as Komaeda said that his E-pad beeped again. Hinata read the words that were listed on the screen.  
  
**Evidence found**  
>Air Conditioner timers  
>Junko’s Diagram  
>Kumagawa’s knife wounds  
>Hanten’s Knife Wounds  
  
Komaeda pressed a finger to the tip of his chin. “Hey… Hinata-kun.” Hinata detected a hint of insecurity in the way Komaeda glanced at him in that moment. “Would you like to come with me to hear what everyone has to say, now? If I go alone, someone could suspect me and not tell me any details.”  
  
“That’s not a problem, but…” Hinata hesitated he was trying so hard to prove himself a good investigator on his own it did not even occur to him anybody would want him around, “Why me? You don’t know anything about me.”  
  
“Mmh. Mmh. Because…” Komaeda’s humming sounded gentle, as his lips parted in an equally gentle smile. “I know you, Hinata-kun is just like me…. You really like Hope’s Peak Academy don’t you?”  
  
“That's right…” Hinata tugged at one of the stray hairs in his unkempt hairstyle. “But I don’t know why.”  
  
“That’s okay, I know you…even if nobody else does or you don't know yourself.” Komaeda said again, almost like he was insisting.  
  
Hinata turned away, “Then let’s go investigating for now.” He wondered what this sudden warm feeling was, was it just the opportunity to be helpful, was it Komaeda’s presence, Komaeda’s faith in him? It probably wasn’t what that strange girl Junko suggested, he would never take advantage of something like a murder to feel good about himself. Even if he knew nothing about himself, he denied being that kind of person with every part of his being. He was sure of it, he thought as he walked ahead turning his back to Komaeda and not particularly watching or paying attention to the strange face of the strange boy behind him.

 

♛

 

Together they walked along the hallways of the old lodge collecting stories, though only two people’s testimonies were of any note.  
  
Gundham Tanaka gripped his bare ear. “Without the devil dog earring I wear as an ancient seal, I must do everything to hold my sealed away power back otherwise the sheer massive energy of my power levels will crush everybody present.”  
  
“You changed up your story. Last time you said it was proof of your birthright.” Hinata said, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.  
  
Komaeda behind him gasped in concern. “Hinata-kun that ultimate talent is doing absolutely everything he can to hold his power levels back so we’re not crushed, we should thank him for being so considerate.”  
  
Hinata looked over his shoulder with a dry expression. “Hey, don’t you play along too.”  
  
“It really is a seal!” Gundham said, suddenly pointing at Naze who was standing near him. “It’s just like how she’s sealed away her true face with bandages that have ancient curses written on the fabric, the same way I’ve sealed away my arm!”

“For the last time will you stop dragging me into your chuuni shit,” Naze said, scowling underneath her bandages. It was difficult to tell though because she was always scowling.

“Then, why exactly do you wear those bandages? Do you have a wound on your face or something?” Hinata asked, innocently.  
  
However, Naze who did not wear bandages for any practical reason averted her one eyed gaze. “I umm… wear it to suppress my beautiful face…” Realizing it sounded like exactly like something Gundham would say she turned away in embarrassment.  
  
“A hidden beauty is the most tantalizing of them all, the allure of the forbidden.” Gundham pressed two fingers to his forehead as if he were channeling dark energy. “Anyway, back to discussing the problem that’s on everybody’s minds, the fate of my devil dog earring. It felled from my ear in between a gap of the old floorboards, and I tried to retrieve it but…it’s impossible to get under the floor. Something irreplaceable has been lost this day.”

 _This guy’s priorities sure are…_ “You do know somebody died, right?”  
  
“Hmm, so what. Survival of the fittest, that is the rule which I who has lived among the beasts have lived my life by up until this point.”  
  
_Why am I trying so hard to fit in among these people again…_ Hinata thought as he walked away.  
  
The second encounter was between Medaka and Zenkichi while Shiranui apparently had wandered away bored. Medaka bore a rather serious and intense expression on her face like always, Hinata felt slightly intimidated just standing around her and wondered how a guy like Zenkichi could always stand to be so close to her. “Hmmm, during the blackout I remember quite clearly everybody’s voices who were speaking.”  
  
“Wait how do you…” Hinata began.  
  
Zenkichi helpfully explained again, like he was a walking Kurokami Medaka translator. “Medaka has perfect pitch, perfect hearing, and also can perfectly imitate any sound she hears.”  
  
“How many talents does she have… it’s unfair to just hog all the talents with one person…” Hinata said, feeling insecure again. Man, was he gonna regret that statement later though.  
  
“Enoshima-san’s drawing was right, most of us were in this room however… Kumagawa in the office was doing something strange. It sounded like he was having a two sided conversation with himself.”

“Talking to himself? Well, he does seem like the kind of weird person who would do that.” Hinata said, and thought nothing more of it turning his attention to Zenkichi. “Hey, where did you keep all of the weapons you confiscated.”  
  
“Oh…” Zenkichi unbuttoned his student council uniform, pulled it open and started to unbutton the dress shirt he kept underneath.  
  
“Wait! Why are you taking off your shirt?” Hinata said, raising a hand in front of his face. _This guy probably has way better muscles than me, I know and accept my loss but you don’t have to show them off._

When Zenkichi undid his shirt and pulled it apart however, several rows of knives were revealed strapped to his chest. “I kept all of the weapons on my person. Munakata taught me his concealed weapons technique, of course I’m not as good as him though.”

“Umm… okay…isn’t it a little suspicious to carry all the weapons on yourself-”  
  
“Are you accusing my Zenkichi of something?” Medaka said in a low voice like the warning growl of a lion.  
  
Hinata started to back away slowly. “Of course not…” _These two are kind of scary in their own way, the same way that Junko and Kumagawa are._ He retreated to behind the old lodge, Komaeda following him.  
  
“So, the investigation of the old lodge is done…” Hinata murmured mostly to himself.  
  
Komaeda overheard him, speaking for both of them again. “Yeah. Shall we reorganize the new evidence.”  
  
“Yes, I got it. FIrst of all… we’ve found 3 unnaturally set irons in the storage room, and the box near them was messy and there was a bloodstained table cloth. The voices heard by Kurokami-san during the black out. All of the weapons were with Hitoyoshi. There’s a firedoor between the kitchen and main all. Tanaka’s earrings… Then in the kitchen Shiranui showed us all the equipment there was only the portable and the BBQ griddle, there isn’t anything like a weapon there was just a huge chunk of meat and some dishes. These things have no connection between them but clues are increasing in number.”  
  
“What meticulous record keeping. You could be the super highschool level at completing paperwork.” Komaeda said, his face obviously trained as he tried to compliment the other.  
  
“Please don’t give me such a lame talent…” Hinata said, already feeling the exasperation come on before the trial even started.

 **Evidence Found** **  
** >3 Irons  
>Messy and bloodstained Tablecloth  
>Fire Door  
>Kurokami’s Testimony  
>Weapons on Zenkichi  
>Tanaka’s testimony  
>Portable Stove  
>Chunk of Meat

“You know besides the whole trying to get us to murder each other thing… Monokuma was pretty helpful giving us these pads…WAIT what the hell am I saying!” Hinata said, watching the information update on the screen.  
  
“Finally… can you come with me back to your room. I’m a bit worried if I go alone I could encounter some danger. Could you, Hinata-kun?”  
  
“Why with me again? You never thought that it might be dangerous if you go with me?” Once again, the idea that somebody else might want him around did not even occur to Hinata.  
  
“You mean about the fact that I don’t think you’re the culprit? To tell the truth… I’ve never thought about it…” Komaeda’s finger curled in a familiar way, and he brought it to his lip feeling out the curve and shape of his lip. As he looked at Hinata again his expression seemed, uneven, unbalanced, like his eyes were looking two separate directions between hope and despair.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Because… if you have to suspect others to live isn’t it better to believe in someone and be killed?” Komaeda’s fingers curled into the air, as if he were trying to grasp upon invisible threads that only he could see. Who knew how long those threads were spun, and how they twisted around him in complicated, impossible to unravel knots.  
  
“Stop it..” _I don’t want you to…_ For some reason he found it hard to articulate how much the idea of Komaeda specifically unnerved him. It was another weakness he did not want to show. “Stop saying it’s better to be killed.  We are working hard to try to survive.”  
  
“Really worthy of you… You say that you’re not strong, but from my point of view you have lots of endurance. You definitely have a right to be chosen by Hope’s Peak Academy.” Komaeda said, waving his hands in the air to placate Hajime.  
  
Just then from where they were standing, the two of them overheard a conversation. It was a bit impossible to not overhear, considering the attention hungry Enoshima Junko had no indoor voice.  
  
“Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!” She demanded again, punctuating each demand with a stomp of her heels on the old wooden floor.  
  
With every single exclamation point, Mukuro seemed to flinch. The quiet and standoffish girl melted away, and she became an entirely different person in front of her sister. What was it Monokuma said, _you can’t know somebody’s true self._ Her shoulder’s shaking, Mukuro spoke up again. “I… I’m not hiding anything. Th-there’s nothing to tell Junko.”  
  
“Oh emm geee  Mukuro, you couldn’t act your way out of a paper bag with both ends ripped off. I’m surprised you didn’t get killed off in the first round you’re such a minor character.” She reached forward and pointed at her sister, booping the tip of her nose slightly. It was a girlish gesture, one that would not be out of place between sisters but for some reason the small gesture terrified Mukuro. “Come on, you should apologize for whoever’s watching. They’re going to be upset such a shallow character survived until the second round. Apologize, apologize for not dying!”  
  
“Umm… I’m sorry, for not dying I guess…” Mukuro’s soft voice tried to placate her sister.

“Ugh, you’re making this way too easy. You could at least put up more of a fight so bullying you could be a little more fun.”  
  
“Umm… but I am putting up a fight, by not telling you the thing you want to know.”  
  
“Yeah but that annoys me too!” Junko said, snapping at her again suddenly. She really was an impossible person to please. “Come on Mukuro, you know how pointless this is. Have you literally ever been able to keep anything a secret from me in your whole life?”  
  
“No...”  
  
“Even when you up and vanished on me to join that stupid super secret military group didn’t I find you?”  
  
“Oh yeah, you wrote me letters. Thank you for writing those Junko.” Her expression shifted into a soft smile.  
  
For reference with my amazing narrative omnipotence I can retrieve the contents of exactly what one of those letters said.

_Dear stupid ugly sister of mine. Don't give me this bullshit about doing this to get stronger to protect me or whatever the fuck I know you think your military otaku ass is doing over there. Because my heel totally broke and I twisted my ankle AND I got a papercut last week and you aren't even here to take care of me. Some big sister you are_

_Signed, your wonderful perfect and far superior little sis_

_PS for a super secret military group you guys are way too easy to find. Gotta remember this for whenever i get bored enough to extort a foreign power. Which might be soon as my sister kind of UP AND VANISHED ON ME_

You see, that narrative trick right there was called a flashback. Now you understand better the heart warming relationship between these two sisters, and your emotional investment has increased. I really am the best at this whole narrator thing.

“So, how about it stupid ugly sis? Why don’t you just tell me the secret you’re keeping from me.”  Junko said, taking a step closer to her sister.  
  
Mukuro at the same time, took a step back out of instinct. The same way animals instinctively knew to fear both Junko and Medaka. “I… I won’t... no matter how much you yell at me. I’m used to you yelling anyway.”  
  
“Yelling? How rude, I haven’t even raised my voice.” This was true, she just had no normal indoor voice. “So, what just because a boy you liked paid a little bit of attention to you, you suddenly found a spine? Well, if you haven’t noticed he’s not around anymore. I know you better than anybody else, Big Sis, I know you’re no good on your own. If you can’t cling to Makoto, you’ll just default to clinging to me like always.”

“W-well… I know you too Junko, y-y-you’re no good on your own either that’s why you need…” Mukuro could no longer choke out the rest of her sentence.  
  
“What an unfortunate younger sister to have…” Hinata said watching the way Mukuro’s back was caving in, and the way she held her sides as if she might fall apart at any moment.  
  
“What are you talking about? That pair of twin sisters were both blessed with wonderful talent, they were both incredibly lucky for sure.” Komaeda whispered back to him.  
  
“Yeah but… that’s not how family should talk to each other.”  
  
Komaeda looked genuinely oblivious for a moment. “Huh? But that’s how my family always talked to me.”  
  
Hinata watched Mukuro, realizing that somebody should probably stand up for her. No, he should be the one. She needed him. He tried to take a step forward, but hesitated when Junko noticed him listening from around the corner and he got caught up in her glare. _Those eyes they look…_

Suddenly, Kumagawa Misogi appeared from behind Junko, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. 『Junko, you should leave Mukuro-chan alone. If you bully her instead of me I’ll get jealous.』  
  
“Why are you two both hiding something from me? Is it because you hate me? It’s because you hate me right? You’ve been talking about me behind my back and now you’re planning to run away and elope with Mukuro and leave the Junko you hate so much behind.”

『Oh, there’s no way I’d be lucky enough to have someone as wonderful as Mukuro-chan love me. Unfortunately, and fortunately I’m stuck with you.』  
  
“Oi, what do you mean stuck with me? I’m obviously the better choice.” Junko shrugged Kumagawa off of her, but turned on her heel to argue with him. He merely giggled as he was shaken further like a rag doll.  
  
Hinata watched for a moment and realized the person to stand up for Mukuro was Kumagawa and not him. Then he looked back to Komaeda. “We have to go through Hanten’in-san’ stuff, right? This isn’t the moment to talk about useless things.”  
  
“Yeah…” Komaeda agreed. “Let’s go…”

♛

 

They made it to the door of his cabin, and Hinata only paused for a moment when upon opening the door he saw Hanten’s possessions still spread out on the floor. _Those things belonged to a person who's dead now._

“Oh right, since Hanten’in-san died you should take his boxers shouldn’t you?”  
  
“What is it with you people and underwear!” Hinata snapped again, as he dug through Hanten’s things. What he picked up was not a pair of boxers but rather a folded up note. He unfolded it, and read what was written within. _Keep Alert! Tonight, the murder will happen, Kurokami Medaka will die._ “Who… who did this? Why didn’t Hanten’in-san tell us anything…”  
  
Komaeda averted his eyes from the letter. “....Because he couldn’t tell us. He must have thought we were worried.”  
  
“...Damn! Hanten’in-san was talking with us last night and we didn’t even notice. He hid it to protect us.” Just then, Hinata out of the corner of his eye saw the Komaeda who was always behind him or at his side that he had failed to notice at that point. A shadow crawled across his face, a transitory one, like one that would be made by the flickering of candle light. Hinata could not make out the expression entirely, but it filled him with unease. He suddenly turned around, “...Komaeda, you look pale. Are you okay?”  
  
“Eh?” Whatever Hinata had seen flicker across his face, was put out in an instant and Komaeda waved his hands around as he normally did. “Sorrry… I want to stay alone for awhile. I should go out now.”  
  
“Oh… um… Then… See ya.” Hinata without even realizing it had gotten used to his presence. After Komaeda left, he stared out at the empty beach in front of him, the same one Komaeda had found him washed up on. “What happened to Komaeda?”

Before he could think about it any further, suddenly Monokuma’s voice echoed over the whole island. “Yes! It’s time for our long awaited class trial! Everybody, please gather at the Monokuma Rocks on the Central island.”

The announcement rang out for everybody, but there were two who arrived far sooner than everybody else. “Yo, Ikusaba-san.” Komaeda said with a friendly wave.  
  
“Ko...komaeda… Why do you look so excited that the killing game started?”  
  
“Oh, yeah sorry for being still alive. Even though I’m a terrible person who wished for the killing game to start.” He made a gun with his thumb and index finger and put it on the side of his head.  
  
Mukuro’s eyes fell and so did her voice, as she gripped tightly onto her own sleeve. “Don’t say unnecessary things like that… Junko too… it’s because you all did unnecessary things that this is happening. Everything was just fine...I thought Junko was finally moving past wanting the killing game then all this happened.”  
  
Komaeda smiled at this. “Wow, it’s convenient for you isn’t it? You can always blame everything on that sister of yours. Do you think I’m the traitor or something, that I’m in league with her? But… who between us designed the original killing game that almost took place? Who can’t ever let go of Enoshima-san?”

Komaeda saw Mukuro’s eyes lower even further, and sharpen. It was the expression that a wolf took on right before they were about to leap at his prey. Sensing the danger, Komaeda’s smile only widened.  
  
“Ikusaba-san.” A voice called out from behind both of them. “There’s no reason to fight. Neither you nor Komaeda are the traitor, I know that neither of you would want to hurt anybody, anymore.” Zenkichi stepped in between them.  
  
“Hitoyoshi-kun…” Komaeda said, breathlessly.  
  
“We need to trust each other. Turning on one another is exactly what Monokuma wants. Come on, let’s go already.” Zenkichi without thinking took Komaeda by the hand and led him to the center of the island.

  
♛

 

“Sorry for keeping you waiting, you bastards! Now go to the elevator through the secret passage and come underground!”  
  
Hinata tried to keep his eyes on himself and his own hands as he thought of what more he could do. He could not bear the glances of distrust that came from the others, so he shut them out entirely.

Monokuma lounged on the judge’s chair, as he gestured at a circular area where they could all stand facing another. “Stand on the position where your name is and let’s start.”  
  
Ajimu Najimi looked around for a moment. “Wait, where am I supposed to stand?”  
  
Suddenly, chains appeared from nowhere wrapping around her and dragged her up to Monokuma’s side. “You can sit right there, big sis!”  
  
“Since when are we…” Ajimu looked only with mild annoyance at the chains that bound her, before groaning. “Junko-chan, can you tell your stupid fucking bear to stop bullying me.” She even dropped her usual formal manner of speaking to illustrate how much her patience was being tested. One wondered what pushed her to this point so soon.   
  
"Now hang on! We can't allow that kind of language! We might murder teenagers, but we need to keep things clean." Suddenly, the chains hat were wrapping around Ajimu, wrapped around her mouth as well. She struggled and gave a few more muted cries out, before sighing and just giving up. "Upupu, you had your chance to be a narrator don't get greedy. Let other people talk."   
  
“I told you I’m not controlling him. Though, this is definitely an improvement for you, Ajimu-san. In fact, since I already figured out the answer there’s no need for me to participate in this trial. I’ll watch you guys though, try to be entertaining as you stumble blindly towards the answer.” Junko said as she stood in the sixteenth position.  
  
“Hey, that’s my line! You’re going to make me feel redundant!” Monokuma snapped at her.  
  
『Junko you should try to have fun.』Kumagawa said standing in the fifteenth position next to her.  
  
“There’s no way I can have fun. Being a participant in a killing game is too boring, I wanted to be a mastermind.”  
  
『Well if you turn up your nose at everything and declare it boring without even trying to get along with everyone of course you’re going to find everything boring.』Kumagawa pointed out. His back had been bandaged along with his whole torso and he wore his usual black jacket around his shoulders instead. Junko tried not to look too directly at his scars, because she did not want Kumagawa to flatter himself.  
  
Now that everybody else had stood in their designated areas, Hinata tried to speak up. “I can’t believe Hanten’in-san’s killer is among us, but if we don’t find the killer, we will die right? We have no choice.”  
  
“First of all… Let’s take stock of the situation.” Komaeda brought his finger in front of his face. “In order to prove… that the killer isn’t one of us. Hanten’in-san’s body was found under the innermost table of the main hall. Near him, there was luminous paint under the table, and tape covered in the same paint. The time of death was 11:30 he was murdered with many cuts, and the weapon is estimated to be about 5 mm in diameter long and fine. At the same time, Kumagawa was cut up in the back at the office, and by the time the blackout ended he crawled all the way back to the main room and leaned against the door.”  
  
“Hanten was certainly killed during the blackout.” Chiaki added.  
  
『The only two people who are unaccounted for are Pekoyama-san and Fuyuhiko-kun.』Kumagawa added, looking at the other two. 『So what were you two doing together at the time of the election?』  
  
“We were doing fuck off, that’s what we were doing?” Fuyuhiko snapped at him.

『So you two were fucking off together, how naughty.』Kumagawa retorted.  
  
“That’s not-not before marriage-I mean that’s not what was happening, I barely know her! There's no way Peko and I would have been able to get in unseen Chiaki was at the only entrance. You’re the most suspicious one!” Fuyuhiko quickly turned the argument around, glaring a Kumagawa from across the stands.  
  
『I’m not the killler, ah but since I’m the most despised person here I guess it makes sense you’d accuse me.』  
  
“He said he isn’t the killer…” Chiaki said softly.  
  
“How could we believe him! He was in the office, near the switch and he’s the only one that’s hurt. He probably got hurt like that in the struggle when he tried to kill Hanten!” Fuyuhiko slammed his fist into his podium glaring at Kumagawa with one eye. “Here’s how it happened. First you turned out the switch and caused a blackout. Then you killed him in the chaos, but since you suck so bad at everything you got cut up too.”

『Oh, he makes a good point. I’m not smart enough to defend myself, gosh I’m so stupid.』

“Hey, take this seriously you could die if we get this wrong…” Hinata said speaking up in defense for Kumagawa of all people. He tried to think of what was wrong with Fuyuhiko’s accusation. His thoughts sunk deeper and deeper as if he was going into a dive.  
  
“Why is that fucker sticking his arms like he’s riding an imaginary snowboard?” Fuyuhiko wondered aloud, as he watched Hinata’s thinking process unable to see the landscape that Hinata was visualizing.  
  
“Ssssssh, Hinata-kun is showing us his Ultimate Talent at work. It’s beautiful…” Komaeda said coming to his defense.

“What you said is wrong!” Hinata said, coming out of his trance like state of deep thought. “The blackout wasn’t caused by the switch… That switch was too high for Kumagawa… and…”

“No, that’s wrong! Maybe he switched it off with wireless!” Fuyuhiko said in a panic, not wanting to lose face in front of others.

『There’s no need to mention my height… we can’t all be six feet tall.』Kumagawa said feeling insecure.  
  
“Ah! There’s a chance that he randomly hit it with a stone!” Shiranui added, playfully.  
  
Naze Youka crossed her arms. “..I would say. Isn’t it just electrical overload?” She was by far taking his the most seriously, though like her sister she took everything seriously.  
  
“I agree with you,” Hinata said.  
  
“Of course I’m right.” Naze smirked.  
  
“The things that caused the blackout are probably those three irons in the storage room, and the air conditioner in the main hall which were set to the same time of his death.”  
  
“Ah… right… So in this way if the time is set already, no matter where they are they’re able to cause a blackout.” Fuyuhiko bowed his head admitting his own defeat.

 _Hinata-kun… What level of hope will you show me?_ Komaeda wondered, as he stared at Hinata’s face lost again in thought. While he too, lost himself in his staring Medaka spoke up behind him.

“This killer is a coward, to go so far to hide their own method.” She said, finally speaking. It seemed the silence and horror at what she was unable to protect Hanten from that overcame her for so long was something she conquered just like everyone else. “We need to find them, the only thing we can do now is bring them to justice.”

“No problem!” Komaeda said, face bright with a hope he wanted to shine on others. “They’re just a murderer, right? They can’t even be compared to us embodiments of hope… Well, and Kumagawa-kun I guess but he doesn’t count. There’s no way we could lose, this kind of event is just a stepping stone, afterall.”  
  
Hinata hesitated. “That’s why… hope will win at the end, just believe in it?”  
  
Komaeda’s face looked happy, no even ecstatic but something caused Hinata to hesitate again. He saw another flicker of that shadow he saw before out of the corner of his eye, encroaching on Komaeda’s smiling expression. The smile looked… empty. “Komaeda… what’s wrong with you?” Hinata felt like he was the only one who noticed this about Komaeda, that he was the only one who had been listening, everyone else was already looking away as Koameda babbled.  
  
“Huh? WHat are you talking about?”  
  
“There can’t be a killer among us… That’s what you said, right?”  
  
“Did I? Why don’t we talk about the case instead of those things.” Komaeda’s fingers twisted around the invisble strings in the air again pulling at them. “However, now tha twe have finally understood how the blackout was caused… we have to explain what happened next. No matter whether it’s setting aircon time secretly or preparing irons… Ah… seems that any of us could have done it.”  
  
“Tsk… what are you trying to say?” Fuyuhiko said looking at him.  
  
“At the end we are unable to find a single clue about the killer, even if we carry on talkng about wha we already know about the crime we can’t find the culprit.” Komaeda’s bright expression quickly darkened, as his eyes narrowed.    
  
“W...wait. That’s different from what you said before… wait…” Hinata tried to think. “K-k-kumagawa! The person who stabbed Kumagawa could be the killer, did you see anything? Tell us please.”  
  
Kumagawa tilted his head putting a finger on his cheek. 『I forgot.』  
  
“How could you forget something like being stabbed in the back!” Hinata snapped at him again, his exasperation reaching a boiling point.  
  
Kumagawa only tilted his head even further. 『Some,,people,,,....forget,,,things….tocope… you know???,,,??』  
  
“Were… were you just cry typing? How did you make that sound with your mouth?”  Hinata said, now he felt lost on top of exasperated. He was not sure he could handle both Kumagawa and Komaeda at the same time.  
  
“Don’t just go and say there’s no evidence, you’re not the utlimate detective after all.” Kirigiri who had been watching quietly finally spoke up. She reached up into her pocket and pulled out a plastic baggie. “I submit this evidence to the court. It’s a serrated knife, the same size of Kumagawa’s wounds… and one more thing in particular.” She pulled it out of the bag and held it with her gloved hands.  
  
“...” Mukuro hesitated for a moment recognizing the knife before anyone else did.  
  
“This is Ikusaba Mukuro-san’s favorite knife, the combat knife she’s always seen using. Not only that I uncovered that if you wiped away Kumagawa-kun’s blood, there was a glow trail moving all the way from the table to the office. Here’s how it happened, when the blackout started Ikusaba-san retrieved the knife from the table, used the glowing paint to navigate to the office, and then stabbed Kumagawa-kun while his back was turned.” Kyoko explained the grisly details of the murder with no inflection of her voice at all.  
  
“M-misogi-chan wait…” Mukuro stuttered.  
  
Hinata put a finger to his cheek, scratching at it. “I saw those two fighting outside the old building before the election even started too.”  
  
“Figures my useless sister couldn’t even kill my useless Misogi properly.” Junko said, never willing to miss a chance to insult her sister.  
  
“No wait.. I-didn’t kill anybody.” Mukuro tried to speak up for herself weakless again.

『Ahh… what is it I’m supposed to say? I wouldn’t know because I’m a main character. Well, anyway you’re not wrong, Mukuro-chan, but you are wrong Conan-chan』Kumagawa’s eyes shone bright blue as he stared at her directly across from his pedestal. 『I remember who stabbed me, it wasn’t Mukuro-chan.』  
  
“I didn’t think so either.” Kirgiri said as she ran her gloved hand through her hair. “However, the only way to get you to stop playing dumb admit you knew who stabbed you was to corner you. You pretend to be hated by everyone and like you’re detached from everything  but your behavior is consistent every single time you jump to protect those two sisters.”

“You’re accusing the wrong sister anyway, the killer was obviously Enoshima-san. She’s the only one who could plot out a murder this far in advance.” Medaka said, glaring at Junko from across  the court with the ferocity of a jungle cat. “She’s also the only one who's tried to murder Kumagawa-kun multiple times in the past.”  
  
“Objection!” Junko suddenly said pointing at Medaka and striking a pose.  
  
“That’s the wrong video game… I don’t want to get sued for copyright infringement. I’m beary, unpre-beared for a lawsuit…” Monokuma said, kicking his feet off of the judge’s chair.  
  
“I have an alibi! I was taking a selfie with Tsumiki-san when the blackout hit. I never let go of her the whole time.” Junko said, pointing at the nurse who was right next to her.  
  
“Aaa! Finally a chance to be useful! Thank you, Junko-chan! Thank you!” MIkan said, breaking apart into tears.  
  
“Convenient that you took a picture exactly when the blackout happened… it’s almost as if you-” Medaka continued.  
  
However, Hinata interrupted her. “We can’t just focus on one person the entire time even if you have a grudge against her. We need to follow the evidence instead of distrusting one another… Whoever set up the irons, probably also set up the knife and then used it to stab Kumagawa and from there…”  
  
“No, stop it Hinata-kun. We can’t do anything about it, because there’s no culprit among us.” Komaeda said, interrupting him again.  
  
“That… That’s different from what you said before!” Hinata started to shake in shock and confusion.

“It’s enough! I really hate this! We are comrades… I don’t want this…” Komaeda struck a pose in front of everybody, one of true lament. “We’re suspecting each other like this… Really, I don’t know what’s the right thing to do anymore. It’s not bad even we don’t find the killer. Then, Hitoyoshi-kun doesn't have to distrust his friends right?”

“I knew you'd say that! Komaeda's right for once I don't want this at all, I just wanna go home. Wait, I hate my home! I just don't wanna exist, existing is too much for me!” Tsumiki in tears responded too easily to Komaeda’s sudden negativity.  
  
“Don’t say such a thing… We can’t let our emotions get the better of us…” Peko said.  
  
At the same time, Mukuro joined in. “Don't listen to Komaeda, he's just being a Komaeda about this. We can’t die here, otherwise we’ll never go home and see him again…”  
  
“Calm down everyone! If we don’t find the killer we’ll all die!” Hinata raised his voice in a panic. He wanted to be useful to these people. Since Medaka was too distracted, and Zenkichi was hesitating for some reason this was his chance. He needed to reassure all of them.  
  
“We are comrades, right? Among comrades, how could we kill each other? It’s not like our memories were wiped we all remember each other…” Komaeda said, his expression lowering again.  
  
“Then, how did Hanten’in-san, die??” Hinata countered.  
  
“That doesn't matter matter!  We should just give up! I mean… We still have no clue of who the killer should be…”

“What you said is wrong…” Chiaki suddenly spoke up again. “I… think so…”  
  
Hinata’s target like eyes suddenly focused in on her. She was, the lone thread of hope to grasp onto as everything started to fall apart.  
  
Komaeda tapped his finger to the side of his head, both of his eyes twisting into an unpelasant expression. “...What didd you say?”  
  
“Because… don’t we know the way to find out the culprit already?” Chiaki reaffirmed herself.  
  
“What did you say? Did you commune with the spirts of the dead to find the identity of the killer!” Tanaka said, leaning in with interest.  
  
“No, I didn’t… However, there’s definitely a clue which can lead us to the cuplrit… I think. At least to the person who stabbed Kumagawa-kun with the knife.”  
  
“Mh… Then, mind telling us? Where does this clue come from.” Komaeda’s expression flipped in a moment, literally turning his frown upside down like a switch had been flipped.

“Then, let’s think about how the culprit obtained the knife first. Even if it had glowing paint on it, the knife was fixed on the bottom of the table…”  
  
“How did the culprit reach the table in the dark, right…!” Hinata continued picking up where she left off. “If we consider the map Junko drew, the culprit must have used the lamp wire as lead., and the only one who could do so was…” Hinata hesitated for a moment, his eyes finally leveling to look at Komaeda directly something he had avoided doing all along. “Komaeda… could it be that you are the killer?”  
  
“This is just a coincidence!” Komaeda said, panicking.  
  
“No matter how you think about it, so many coincidences together are supsicious! You were just trying to discourage everybody a moment ago too!”  
  
“Uh.. Uhhh….”  
  
“Komaeda… if you have objections just speak honestly I don’t want to believe this either. You’re the one who investigated with me, and also you’re so kind to me…”  
  
“...”  
  
“Komaeda, how can you explain it.”

 

“Nggghh…” He grabbed at his forehead, clutching it, his hair spreading about wildly like his brain was receiving some kind of terrible electrical feedback. Sweat, running down his face, he grit his teeth hard. For a moment he looked to be holding back something that was terrible painful. Then, his eyes rolled back and what spread across his face next could only be described as pure ecstasy. “Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !”  
  
His hand traveled through his hair, pulling at it, every strand of pure white. Whatever threads that Komaeda was constantly grasping at in the air, whatever threads that were holding them back they all snapped at once in that moment. There was nothing holding him back now.  
  
He laughed, and laughed, like all those gathered around him were clowns and he center stage was the biggest clown of them all. His face shifted haphazardly between the masks of tragedy and comedy, as if he himself was indecisive on which he should wear. When he finally removed his hand from his face, his eyes spiraled, pure black despair and pure white hope seemed to be fighting eternally within his gaze.  
  
He moment Hinata looked it was like he was drawn in, he needed to force himself to look away. “Only you who have super high school level talent could win against the despair of a friend’s death…. Hah… This is so wonderful.” Komaeda held onto himself, his face still red with the ecstasy as his entire body spasmed, rocking back and forth. “Everything was my doing. I sent the note to Hanten’in-san last night at our slumber party so he would protect Medaka-chan, I’ve been planning this all along.”  
  
“You… You’ve been tricking us all along…” Hinata leveled a suspicious gaze at him.  
  
However, despite the horrible twisted expression he made a moment ago, Komaeda closed his eyes and smiled quite casually as if this were a normal conversation. “It can’t be called tricking. How could someone like me trick you guys. I know better than anyone else, that I’m not an incredibe person. Even if I wanted to be have dreams and hope, they would be foolish thoughts, even with effort it’s simply bran. I’m with no doubt the worst, most evil, most ignorant, the lowest person who can’t accomplish anything. There’s no way I could win against you. That’s why… Since we know who the  killer is let’s finish it quickly. Let’s start voting! Monokuma!”

『No, you’re wrong!』Kumagawa suddenly spoke up, causing everybody to look at him. Komaeda’s sudden change had absorbed everybody else’s attention, nobody even thought to look at him. 『I was going to let you have your fun, Nagito-chan but then you had to go and say something that pissed me off. There’s no way you could have set up everything, because you’re not the one who cleaned the old school house remember, I got stuck with it instead.』

Hinata had been so caught up in the moment he forgot about it. “Yeah… that’s right, but Komaeda could have snuck in.”  
  
Kumagawa continued. 『No, I know for a fact that Nagito-chan didn’t set it up. Sorry, I’m not going to let you have any fun anymore. The one who set up both the air conditioners, the irons and the knife under the table that was me.』  
  
“What…” Hinata stared in surprise for a moment. Once again, he found the combination of Kumagawa and Komaeda just too much to handle at the same time.

  
Kurokami slammed her fist into the podium. “Kumagaaawaaaaaa! Why the hell would you plan a murder? Has Junko corrupted you that much!”  
  
『Hmmm? You can’t poison somebody who already breathes poison, Medaka-chan. I didn’t set up the knife and the blackout to murder somebody. It was a prank, because I knew what Nagito-chan’s plan was, so… I wanted to prank him more or less. When I left the room to go to the office, I took the knife with me so Nagito-chan wouldn’t have a weapon when the blackout went. I even left a trail for him to follow.』

  
“What kind or pank is that…” Hinata muttered. “Maybe you’re the murderer after all! You stabbed yourself in the back and then you… went after Shiranui…”

『Hmmm, even I think that’s kind of dumb Hajime-chan. I’m not nearly that flexible.』

  
“Trust me he isn’t!” Junko added, with a wink.  
  
『I told you I was going to ruin Nagito-chan’s fun, so I’ll just tell you all directly what happened….』

**『I set up his exact trap but took away the knife and left a trail of glowing paint to the office knowing he would follow...』**

The door swung open slowly. Kumagawa Misogi was somebody who belonged almong the shadows, they seemed to meld with his form as he stood in the middle of them waiting for Komaeda with his hands behind his back. The only visible part of him, was the white smile that crept across his face.  
  
Komaeda hesitated for a moment. He stared at the other boy, the pitch black to his bright white, not having any idea what to expect. He had been caught off guard by the black out, grasped for the knife only to see it empty, and saw a trail left for him. Komaeda was that kind of person, he could not stand to be in darkness, he would always reach out for the light no matter how thin and uncertain the trail was. He did not know what to expect from the other in that moment.  
  
Suddenly, Kumagawa pulled his hands away from behind his back, and a small glint of light reflected off of the knife. He held it out right in front of Komaeda, turning it around and offering him the handle. 『This is what you wanted, isn’t it? Come on take it.』  
  
“Wha…”

『Come on, take the knife and go and kill somebody, or kill me. You were planning on doing this right? You even said you’d do it right in front of Zenkichi-chan.』  
  
“Why are you…”

『I’m really weak so, the best person to kill would probably be me.』Kumagawa gave him a helpful nudge with the knife. 『Hey, hey, why are you hesitating… Unless… you didn’t actually want to kill anybody?』  
  
“...”

『Why are you hesitating? Is my disgusting voice too much for you? Or is it that… you don’t actually want to kill anybody? Then you were just trying to trick somebody else into killing you by pretending to plan a murder, just so you could die by their hands.』Kumagawa took a step forward and placed the handle in Komaeda’s hand, wrapping his fingers around it. Komaeda looked to his face to see any detail, but Kumagawa looked faceless in that moment, all he could see was the gaping wide smile that had spread across Kumagawa’s face. 『In that case, if you want to die so badly, then just slit your own throat and be done with it. Come on, do it.』  
  
Kumagawa let go, leaving the knife in Komaeda’s hands. He took a step forward past Komaeda, putting a hand on his shoulder as he was about to leave and turning his back to the other. 『You’re not helping others, you’re just burdening them. Don’t make them stain their hands with your filthy blood. Nobody here wants the burden of your life.』

"The drawing... how did you know you'd win the drawing your whole plan hinged on that..." Komaeda whispered, his eyes searching for something, anything to distract him and let him further avoid Kumagawa's words.   
  
『It's simple, I knew my bad luck would devour yor good luck.』  
  
"That doesn't make any sense." 

『Hmm, I dunno think about it. It's very difficult to become happy, but it's quite easy to become unhappy. How much has bad luck snatched away from you? How miserable has it made you? Yet, has your good luck...』Kumagawa leaned in to whisper. Komaeda could feel it like the hiss of a snake as a warning before it tightened around his heart that was beating, faster, ever so faster. 『Ever really made you happy?』 **  
**  
At that moment, Komaeda as if puppeteered by some other force jerkily raised the knife into the air. He forgot what he was doing, what he meant to do, all he could see was red. The glint of light reflected off the metal of the knife was the only light he saw. It was a glare that reflected straight into his eyes. He stabbed, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again.  
  
He only let go of the knife when Kumagawa collapsed forward. The warmth, all he cold remember was the warmth. His body was always so cold, like a corpse. He needed a heart beat, he needed to cling onto something or else he would freeze into the spot. Even if it was something as terrible as a killing game, as long as in the end hope would shine on him warm.   
  
Yet, in that moment he felt just as warm watching Kumagawa's blood splash on the ground. Then, the next moment he woke up to a cold reality. He shut it all out. This was not it, this was not something he had done. He  did not even know why he had done it, just that the light from the knife shone in his eyes, and his heart stirred in that moment. He did not even bother to cover up his crime, no it was more like he could not see it. Zombielike, he walked back to wher he had been a moment ago. 

Hearing this story, Enoshima Junko smiled finally.  
  
At the same time, black and white both boys spoke up.   
  
"It's your fault. If only somebody untalented like you hadn't tried to interfere in their hope." Komaeda said.  
『You see, it's not my fault. I'm not the murderer, I'm the victim here.』 Kumagawa said.   
  
『Well, I was calling his bluff more or less. I knew he wouldn’t be able to kill himself or anybody else, because Nagito-chan is so weak.』 Kumagawa finished his story, smiling at eerybody not even noticing their horrified expressions.  
  
MIkan was similarly oblivious she raised her hand. “Ooooh! That means Komaeda-kun and Kumagawa-kun both have alibis! They were being stabbed at the time of the murder, and Komaeda-kun used a different knife. The wounds for Kumagawa-kun are shallow unlike the deep cuts with Shiranui-kun. His body was too clean too.”  
  
“I… I’m beautiful… Are you praising me? This is the first time ever someone praised me… Not even my own mother praised me before…” Komaeda stared at his own empty hands.  
  
MIkan nervously squeaked again. “N-no, I mean…”  
  
“By clean you mean… he didn’t have a bloodstain. Which would make sense if he attacked like Kumagawa described it but… ...” Hinata stared quietly taking it all in. _They’re both… they’re both scary… but it’s a slightly different kind of scary._ He thought, looking to Kumagawa and Komaeda who were glaring at each other from across the court. “How did you know all that in advance?”

『Nagito-chan is very predictable, and I heard him talking about murdering someone with Zenkichi-chan.』  
  
“Hitoyoshi…” Hinata’s gaze turned back as he looked for any kind of thread of evidence to grab onto. “Hitoyoshi, why have you been quiet this entire time. You… you’re the only person who had weapons on him.”  
  
Naze was the one to suddenly jump to his defense this time. “There’s no way Hitoyoshi could have done it! Kurokami-san was the original target before Hanten interfered, and he would never attack her.”  
  
“...” Zenkichi said nothing in response.  
  
“Hey. Why aren’t you saying anything? Hitoyoshi?” Naze growled like a much more feral cat then her sister underneath her bandages.

Hinata too was thinking. “We actually have a discovered bloodstained table cloth in the storage room, but the storage room and the main hall are quite distant. If Komaeda was in the office too there’s no way he could cover that much ground. Also, Kurokami said she heard Kumagawa talking to himself but… Komaeda and Kumagawa’s voices sound alike so… Kumagawa’s account is the truth.”  
  
“Tsumiki’s autopsy, Kurokami’s voice recognition, and HInata’s detective ability your conclusion is that I’m not the culprit. Amazing! TO show respect to your talents I’ll confess a bit! I totally failed. I’m such a hopeless person that I can’t even kill properly, Kumagawa-kun is right…” Komaeda said, holding onto himself once more.

『Hey, why are you giving them all the credit? I’m the one who confessed everything...』  
  
“You must have hope and go forward! Like now, stand up again endless time after errors you are the embodiment of hope! Come on Hitoyoshi-kun, say something!” Komaeda raised his head, only to be interrupted.

『Hey, hey! Quit ignoring me! This is why I hate you elites so much. The one who messed with things is me not you!』  
  
“I don’t have time to listen to the untalented.”

『You’re the wimp that couldn’t even kill this untalented person.』  
  
“Ugh… will you two quit trying to out ‘the worst’ one another.” Hinata groaned.

Chiaki was the one to get them back on track again. “It could be, that the culprit killed Shiranui from under the table. Think about it, it’s somewhere under the table but it’s not under the table...”  
  
Hinata pieced it together for himself. “Ah! Tanaka! You’re no wearing the earring that you dropped in the gaps of the floor, right?”  
  
Gundham  proudly displayed his earring. “You mean the devil dog earring?”  
  
“Yeah, since you’re wearing that devildog earring it means you found some way to get under the floor, right?”  
  
“Fuhahaha, that’s right. Alright, I’ll tell you about my forbidden power.” Tnanaka said, as he used a thumb to pet one of the four hamsters in his hand. “One of the four dark devas of destruction, Mirage silver falcon Charm-P Found the passage to nderground in the storage room, among the pile of boxes I opened chaos and went through the passage. This is the power of evil’s force.”  
  
Zenkichi was suddenly the one to speak up slamming his hand on the podium. “B-but! The corridor was so dark how could they reach the storage room? The only trail of glowing paint led to the office.”  
  
“They should have used some kind of light source. According to the kitchen equipment list there was a portable gas stove…” Hinata curled his finger and touched his chin again.

“A gas stove….!” Zenkichi reacted like he had just been punched in the face. He was taking this very seriously, like a battle to the death.  
  
“A gas stove doesn’t need electricity to function it can be carried around, the culprit must have used the gas stove and walked through the corridor during the black out!”  
  
“You’ve got that wrong!” Zenkichi cried out desperately.  
  
“Ah, how wonderful. Why don’t you two compare whose the stronger hope? It's like a legendary showdown in shonen manga.” Komaeda watched in the background as Zenkichi flared up.

『Gosh, treating real life like it's a shonen manga have you no shame.』Kumagawa muttered behind him picking a fight again.  
  
“Have you forgotten Kumagawa’s testimony? It was dark except for the single trail of paint. If you use a light in such a pitch black corridor, wouldn’t it be seen?” Zenkichi said, pointing heroically at the other.  
  
“Hitoyoshi… Why are you acting like you don’t remember on purpose? In that corridor there was a firewall that can block light!” Hinata countered with a dramatic flourish of his own.  
  
“Ah, as expected Hinata-kun won. You still can’t remember your own talent, right?” Komaeda commented, like a spectator.  
  
“That… that thing totally doesn’t matter right now?” Hinata hesitated.  
  
It was Peko who spoke up. “Komaeda… why are you still messing around with things even when it was revealed you weren’t the culprit. Is Hitoyoshi-kun hiding something from us?”  
  
“Don’t make it sound so scary.” Komaeda said raising his hands in front of his face in innocence. “Ah, are you mad? Take some deep breaths please. I would hate to upset somebody of SHSL ability.”  
  
Fuyuhiko was the one to snap at Komaeda for Peko’s sake. “It makes me angry every time you open your mouth! I’m gonna sew that fucking mouth of yours shut.”  
  
“Your face is even more unpleasant than Kumagawa-senpai’s, maybe you should cover it with bandages.” Naze added.

『Hey, I take offense to that. I want to be the most unpleasant.』  
  
“What a helpful suggestion, thank you Kurokami-san.” Komaeda said with a pleasant smile. “You guys should just ignore HItoyoshi-kun. It’s because he can’t accept it, that’s why he’s acting like that, but I’m different. No matter what the conclusion is, if it’s the conclusion you SHSL students reached together I’ll accept it.”  
  
“The true… culprit…” Hinata bit onto his finger as he thought. “The culprit used the firewalls in the corridor to block the light of the gas stove and moved in the dark. To sneak under the floor and kill Hanten, the only one who could do this was… you, Shiranui-san…”  
  
“Huh?” Shiranui said finally with a tilt of her head.  
  
“It wasn’t her!” Zenkichi shouted again.  
  
“It’s just my intuition, if she has a counterargument she should feel free to speak up…the portable gas stove was from the kitchen where Shiranui-san was.”

“You can’t accuse her just because of that!” Zenkichi itnerrupted again. “Even if the culprit went to the storage room how could they kill Hanten from under the floor where it’s so dark. THere’s no way anybody could use the gas stove just to look around right they would have been noticed.”  
  
“Th-that’s…” Hinata hesitated.  
  
It was Kurokami Medaka who spoke up. “Gundham should know he went down there.”  
  
“Medaka-chan!” Zenkichi said, a look of betrayal covering his face.  
  
Medaka looked away, “It’s like you kept telling me you can’t protect everyone.”  
  
“No…unfortunately, I haven’t found anything related to the case under the floor, but under the area where Hanten’s blood was dripping ther was a “Weird liquid which was glowing in the dark.”

“Glowing liquid! It should be glowing paint, right? The culprit must have targeted the glowing paint that spilled when Kumagawa clumsily removed the knife.”  
  
“It’s not her there’s no way! Medaka-chan, you heard Shiranui’s voice right during the black out? If she was in the storage room how could you hear her?”  Zenkichi, kept coming up with more and more arguments. Even as his eyes behind his glasses grew more desperate.  
  
“No… I don’t think so, there’s lots of gaps in the main hall floor if you speak from under the floor.”  
  
“Why?” Zenkichi snapped. “Why can’t you let me protect my friend?”  
  
“It’s not… I’m not against I’m just…”  
  
“Hinata-kun be more self confident. You’re just marching towards the hope you believe in. Come on Hinata-kun show me your hope, can your hope win against Hitoyoshi’s? I want to see it.” Komaeda said watching as he twisted his longs and spindly fingers around an eager spectator.

『Don't listen to him. It's your inferiority not your self confidence that drives you, Hajime-chan.』  
  
“Will you both shut up and stop fighting! I'll show both of you! Shiranui, if you were in the main hall then! What did Kumagawa write on the ground in his blood when he toppled over after the door opened?”  
  
“...” Shiranui fell silent again.  
  
“Come on. Answer him!” Zenkichi turned around, and shouted at her as well.  
  
“It’s fine, Hitoyoshi. This is the part where Komaeda would say, ‘aaaah this is so hopeless’, right?” Shiranui said, offering her friend a smile. “Ahyahya, yep you’ve got me I was the killer.”  
  
Stop it, they haven’t even discovered… the weapon! You guys don’t even know the weapon!” Zenkichi continued to fight, even when all hope was lost, that’s the kind of man he was. However, in a tragedy, that kind of Never giving up attitude just looked pathetic.  
  
“The weapon is the steel skewer, the one who said it was missing was Shiranui-san. Zenkichi heard her… so he must have figured it out before any of us. That’s why he kept defending her, he…” Hinata realized he was arguing against somebody defending his friend even knowing she was the murderer. “Somewhere Hitoyoshi didn’t search… then it must have been the meat in the kitchen.”

Suddenly, Monokuma picked up the large portion of meat. “Chew chew! What’s wrong it’s very yummy you know! Oh my…”  
  
“Awe, a bear eating meat, how cute…” Junko cooed from the background.  
  
“This thing appeared in the meat!” He held it in front for everybody to see.  
  
“A sword of doom with a bone hilt! And a meat sheath! She used it to bring catastrophe upon Hanten.”  
  
“No… it has to be a mistake… Shiranui wouldn’t kill anybody… she wouldn’t…” Zenkichi continued to stare forward, but his gaze was broken entirely.  
  
“Upupupu! It seems we have the results. Let’s leave the jokes for later and start our nerve-wracking voting time! Please use the switches to vote everyone!”  
  
The slot machine came back with the results, the vote unanimous. The machine spat out coins as Shiranui’s face showed up three times in the slot machine.  
  
Junko yawned. “Exactly as I predicted, how boring…”

“Very god you’re perfectly right! The one who murdered Hanten was the other Shiranui, Hansode.”  
  
“No… that’s wrong… Shiranui, why?” Zenkichi finally turned around to face her.  
  
“I… I guess I could say I wanted to stop Komaeda’s plan. He was dangerous to have around you, and you’re too naive to do anything to handle him… but..”  Shiranui stopped reaching up to touch her own face. Whatever expression she was wearing at the moment she had no idea. “I…”  
  
“Explain yourself, Komaeda.” Hinata said quickly looking to the other.

“That’s right, this all started with me. I wanted to see you guys in your “hope” form, so I came up with a murdering plan, because I can’t be bright like you I want to see you guys sparkling. What I’m looking for is a great hope that can overcome all kinds of despair. Kumagawa-kun and Shiranui-san were both only reacting to me in the end.”

『I suppose it's only natural... the interference of us minus only brought about the worst result.』Kumagawa said in a gloomy voice.  
  
Hinata heard even more things he did not understand. The words reached him, but did not penetrate. Words, words, words, words, words, was all he heard, he was at his limit pushed there by his inability to understand the other. He wanted to understand, but he did not want to understand someone so scary. He did not want to put his mind on the same level as someone like that. “What… what are you saying… I totally can’t understand.”

“Could it be, you let Shiranui-san know on purpose? You knew she was listening so you spoke up so things would be more complciated…” Chiaki deduced.  
  
“Yeah, that’s right I was really looking forward to it.” Komaeda said, running his hand through his twisted hair, curling it further around it.  
  
“She… she was just trying to save everyone then…” Zenkichi muttered, becoming a broken record at this point.  
  
“No… It’s not like that Hitoyoshi, you see. When I was underneath the floorboards, I saw right away that it wasn’t Komaeda standing up there… I heard the princess’s voice in front of me but I didn’t stop myself from stabbing forward even though she’s your most precious person.”  
  
“What…?” Zenkichi’s voice cracked utterly empty.  
  
“If you killed her, and blamed it on Komaeda then you could go home, huh?” Monokuma suddenly interrupted.  
  
“No... it’s not like I have a home to go to. I don’t really know why, why I couldn’t stop myself at the moment, why I planned on the murder… I don’t really know where my real feelings are… Was wanting to kill Medaka-chan my real feeling? Was wanting to protect Zenkichi so much I’d commit murder my real feeling? Even though I’m caught I’m not even sad at all. I don’t feel anything about betraying a close friend.. I…” She reached up and touched her face again and felt wet tears falling from one of her eyes. “I… am I sad? I’m… I’m s-s-”  
  
“Well, that’s enough of that lame drama! Upupupu! I see! Then, let’s get excited it’s punishment time!”  
  
“So, you’re not going to tell them after all…” Shiranui looked back at Monokuma.  
  
“Nope, unimportant characters who die within the first round don’t get a backstory.” Monokuma sneered at her, slamming his hammer down on the button.  
  
Suddenly, from out of nowhere a chain shot forward and hooked around her neck. Shiranui was pulled away, and once again she did not understand at all the emotion that was on her face. Just like an actor who had fallen too deeply into her role, she had forgotten, where her loyalties lied, why she did what she did, and most of all she could no longer see between real and fake.  
  
"N-no give her back!" Zenkichi shouted, as he braced in a moment to jump after her. Before he could even take a step though a piercing shout rose up. 

『Medaka-chan! Stop him!』Kumagawa cried out.   
  
Medaka reacted on instinct alone, tackling Zenkichi to the ground. With her monstrous strength he could not escape the grip of her judeau hold, and yet he continued to reach after Shiranui. 

Shiranui watched his extended hand, and looked at Medaka _. Now that I think about it, Medaka-chan was probably the one tripping all the death flags in the first round… I guess it’s fitting I die in her place._  
  
Those were Shiranui’s last thoughts as she was pulled away. She had no idea, if she was actually scared of death or not, or why she could accept it with such a calm emotionless face. Most people would be screaming or crying out for forgiveness right now.

 **Game Over** **  
****Shiranui Hansode has been found guilty, now starting punishment.**

**Shiranui's Period of Self Reflection**

When Shiranui opened her eyes again she saw that she was surrounded by multiple copies of herself. It took her a moment to realize that the reason she was being looked back at by herself from every angle was because she was currently in a mirror maze. She raised a hand pushing in front of her and realized there was no mirror blocking her path.  
  
Slowly, she and the many other Shiranui's slowly moved back and forth navigating the maze. It was like one of those rides that would be shown in a carnival fun house that you’d play in when you were a kid. Shiranui imagined other children had played in such things she supposed. She wondered though what kind of clown had designed this.  
  
She methodically made her way through. If she could escape in time before whatever else Monokuma had planned, maybe she could apologize to Zenkichi properly. She had gotten cut off before she could do that at least.  
  
It was the only thing that motivated her going forward. Her own image reflected back at her so many times was nauseating. Her ‘real self’ was what she wanted to see the least right now, or perhaps this was her real self, just endless, endless copies. She felt around once more and navigated the maze.  
  
Wait… she was making progress.  
  
Perhaps, she could escape after all. She could see Zenkichi one last time. Medaka could kick her ass and force her to make up for her crimes and repent. Perhaps it was not all over yet. SHe saw a bright light reflecting on the other side of the maze and stepped out of it.  
  
Just then she looked below her and saw she had stepped out into open air. There’s a moment in road runner cartoons where after running off a cliff the coyote will take a moment to fall because he has not yet realized he’s not standing on anything yet. Shiranui experienced that moment as she looked down and suddenly saw a volcano opening up beneath her.

 _Ah… I’m dead._ _  
_ _  
_ She thought right before she fell into the open maw of the lava. Above her, a helicopter was carrying the funhouse mirror maze building with an opening, and let the entire building fall on top of her and into the volcano as well.  
  
“Woooh! Extreme!”  Monokuma cried out, tearing at his own face and letting the stuffing come out in his excitement.  
  
Everybody reacted with disgust, horror, i was clear none of the students wanted to see anybody else die. Even Enoshima Junko put her hands over her face.  
  
“Are you horrified at what’s occurred? Perhaps there’s a shred of humanity in you after all…” Kurokami said, looking at Junko.  
  
Junko however, was busy in her own little world. She muttered in between her fingers in despair. “If I had a volcano, I could have planned way cooler executions. This is totes unfair. How am I supposed to compete with a volcano?”

『Awe, Junko don’t worry about it. A volcano is just a dumb gimmick. You’re more creative for not relying on it too much.』  
  
"Quit acting so casual, Kumagawa!" Kurokami Medaka snapped at him.  

『Ahhhh, I'm sorry I'm just... used to this sort of scene. I guess somebody like you wouldn't understand Medaka-chan Shiranui-chan was a precious classmate of mine too if only for a short while so it's inevitable that I'd lose her. All I can do is smile in the face of those losses. 』

Monokuma looked down from his throne at all of them. “Well, look at what we have here. I gave you both hostages back in one day, and they murdered each other. Well, I guess we can’t expect any better from a couple of fakes. Still!”  
  
He looked to Medaka. “What happened to I won’t let anybody die?”  
  
He looked to Zenkichi. “What happened to believing in your friends?”  
  
Neither of those two had an answer for him though, despair had overcome their expressions and brought them back into silence.  
  
“God, you guys suck at this! Uupupupupupu! What losers!”  
  
Monokuma laughed.  
Somewhere the clown puppeteering that bear was laughing at them.  
Yet, nobody present could bring themselves to disgaree.  
This was it, a total and complete loss.  
After going from slice of life, to shonen battle, to romantic comedy, their lives had finally become a tragedy.

Only the person who was used to tragedy could keep smiling at this moment. 『It looks like it’s started again… ah… once again I’ve lost.』


	7. Jet Black Jabberwock (7 Chain x Link)

The sounds of chains clanking against one another filled the air, as Monokuma unwraveled the chains around Ajimu Najimi and lowered the ground. The clattering of chains filled her ears. As always she watched passively, the death of Hansode who she still owed, the murder of Hanten who had followed her for so long.  
  
If she were a human perhaps she would grieve them. However, to mourn the loss of one person was to break her impartiality. If she broke her unbiased nature now, then every passive thing she did up until this point that allowed this situation to happen would be a waste.  
  
I don’t have to say it, at this point but Ajimu Najimi is all knowing and all powerful. There is no trap you could lay that she wouldn't have known ahead of time. But she wouldn’t spoil it, she absolutely wouldn’t. Anybody can turn to the solution of a mystery novel. However, anybody that would actually do that isn’t a truly invested reader.  
  
This is the same thing. She may have a lot of power, but she was fair to absolutely everyone and every twist in the plot. In the terms of this island though, that investment is deadly. Staying fair to the rules of a murder game meant, people would die as simple as that.  
  
She already knew that. As she said, the living and the dead were the same to her. Being all powerful, and being powerless in this game was the same to her. Whether she was the one being beaten up, or she was beating up others, was the same to her. She was distant to everything, a passive observer. As long as she could continue to watch through the bars of this cage she had been caught in she would be satisfied.  
  
Yet, she could still hear the clatterings of those chains. That noise was reaching her, even in the far off place she projected herself, and her role as being in. The clattering agitated her, the noises were overlapping, they became indistinct. Noise. Noise noise. Noisenoisenoisenoise. That is what she heard, until she was flopped onto the ground like a fish thrown off the lure and onto the dock and she saw a teddy bear standing over her, with a charming and loveable smile.  
  
“Upupupupu! So how is it big sis? Did seeing that precious doppelganger of yours die fill you with despair? Now you’re utterly alone in the world.” The bear said, as he raised his claws and cut the last of the chains that were surrounding her mouth.  
  
Ajimu Najimi’s eyes darkened as a shadow cast over her face. The same way that the pair of siblings Enoshima Junko and Ikusaba Mukuro occasionally shared body language without realizing it, making those around them go ‘ah so those two are siblings after all even though they’re so different’, in this moment the shadow covering Ajimu Najimi’s face looked unmistakably similar to the shadowy looks of Kumagawa Misogi. Her eyes sunken in, her mouth twisted, but her demeanor as polite as ever. “My dear Monokuma, I know you’re a slow learner but you should know by now hope and despair are the same to me. Why would I care about one piece of garbage being thrown out? Isn’t that what trash is for?”  

 

“No way, there’s no way you can feel anything but despair! What about this situation spells hope to you?”  
  
Ajimu Najimi sighed,  “You enjoy these debates too much I shouldn’t even indulge you in it, but it’s not as black and white as you… are…” She said gesturing to the bear’s stylish and sleek, not to mention extremely thematically relevant (10/10 perfect character design) half black and half white coloration. “Despair can lead to hope, and hope can lead to despair. Not that I’m partial to one or the other, but I could point out learning this lesson now early on in the game that they can’t save everyone, that they can’t trust everyone, could lead to Medaka-chan and Hitoyoshi-kun’s growth later in the game.”

  
Monokuma stomped his small and cute feet into the ground. “Bah, you’re really disappointing big sis. I thought you might grow after that Rice Fish Girl saved you from your own suicide but you’re the same ‘aloof’’ high and mighty, nothing can ever touch me, ojou-sama types. If the death of your constant companion for centuries can’t elicit a reaction out of you, I guess nothing will change you. You’ll just keep on being the same cold person forever.”  
  
“I suppose so…” Ajimu said, smiling at the bear as he threw his tantrum and then disappeared. The moment the bear disappeared her smile faded as well. She got up on her own two feet, and dusted herself off. She combed her fingers through her hair, trying to straighten it from the mess it had become in all of Monokuma’s mistreatment when she heard the sound of heels clacking on the ground behind her. “Oh, it’s the other misery fetishist come to buzz in my ears.”  
  
“Hey, I’m the original misery fetishist.” Enoshima Junko said, still standing proud her hands on both of her hips. “You know you could make up for your annoying existence by showing me a little bit of despair for your fallen comrade.”  
  
“Monokuma already tried that, you might want to come up with some new material.”  
  
“Ugh! Really? We should conference or something so we don’t end up using each other’s jokes. Gosh, it’s so hard sharing the spotlight when you’re me.” Junko closed the distance between them, Ajimu could hear every step without even turning her head as they were all accompanied with a sharp click. “Don’t you feel anything at all? Not caring about somebody so devoted to you that sounds like something I would do.”  
  
“So you’re starting to realize what we have in common, I’m so glad Junko-chan.” Ajimu turned her head behind her shoulder to face Junko, a friendly smile still present on her face. “Hanten always expected to die before me though, that’s why there are replacements for him.”  
  
“Replacements? You mean something cool like clones? Hey, hey, is this an eva thing.”  
  
Ajimu Najimi shrugged then.

“Oh come on, I know you know. You’re just not telling me to annoy me.”  
  
“If you’re aware of my motivations perhaps you shouldn’t fall for it so easily.”  
  
“I’m not annoyed!” Junko said, in a very annoyed voice. “I just think you’re being boring and dumb as usual. How can you be so like me, but so like… boring?”  
  
“Well, if I’m not allowed to have any fun then nobody else should either.” Ajimu said, with a rueful smile.

"Keep pretending like you're not attached to anything, because one day I'm going to find out what you're attached to and rip it away and it'll make your despair all the juicer."

"Oh, I didn't know you cared so much Junko-chan." She stopped paying attention to Junko then and looked past her. “Wait, why did you come check on me? Shouldn’t you be watching the commotion down there?”  
  
At this, Enoshima Junko shrugged. “Eh, it’s just Komaeda being Komaeda again. He's all just like 'hope and despair, hope and despair' kind of a one trick pony by this point."   
  
"Do you hear yourself when you talk, like... ever?" Ajimu's expression went completely flat. 

♛

 

“This kind of execution… is too despair inducing… this is hopelessly despairing…” Komaeda’s body rocked forward with the weight of the emotion he carried. He was determined to wring every drop out of it. His fingers curled, hands tightening into a fist. He tightened and tightened, like a clockwork round up doll whose key was being spun far past its limit. However, at last moment he broke.

His expression changed from one of bitter endurance in the face of despair, to pure ecstasy, as his eyes widened with so much pent up emotion being released at once they seemed to wobble. “However… we will surely, overcome despair and become stronger.”  
  
Even though Komaeda was addressing everyone, even though he used the word ‘we’ nobody else present seemed to even be on the same plane as him. It was like he was the only one aware of the stage he was standing on, and the role he was acting out. The others were merely clueless to their parts, like actors who had forgotten the script.  
  
Most clueless as all, as usual, was Hinata who was the only one still trying to listen to him. “Komaeda… what are you saying? Why are you smiling like that are you laughing?” He reached up with his hand as if he was still trying to grasp some part of Komaeda.  
  
“Wait… I’m as sad as everyone.” Komaeda drew his hands out of the pockets of his coat, and hugged onto his own shoulders. His body shook suddenly, as he felt cold. The despair that had warmed his body had come and gone in a flash. He was as ever, someone who could only barely cling to life, a walking corpse. Someone who could only hold onto himself. “I love you who fight for hope’s sake. I love your outstanding talents from the bottom of my heart. Losing such a precious hope, how could I smile?”

“Oi, if you keep spouting that nonsense as usual, I’ll kill you!! This isn’t the time Komaeda.” Fuyuhiko said, salmming his fast against the wall.  
  
Komaeda let go of himself immediately, his face changing itself to his usual unassuming expression, a closed eyed smile just like a cat. “Sure! You can come to kill me whenever you want. As a stepping stone for hope I’m ready for it.”  
  
“What…” Hinata muttered under his breath.  
  
“But if you want to kill me, please discuss it with em first. In this way I’ll be able to help the culprit. For someone talentless like me… It would be a great honor if I could do something to help you guys…” Komaeda held his arms out at his side as if to embrace all of them, but in the end all he embraced was empty air.

 _I don’t want anybody else to die._ Hinata thought, an innocent enough thought however it was not so altruistic. Deep inside somewhere he was still thinking _I don’t want Komaeda to die._ Even though the image of Komaeda he had grown attached to had already been torn apart and murdered in front of his own eyes by Komaeda himself.  
  
Komaeda wasn’t a villain though, he wasn’t even an unrealistic plush mascot that taunted them all. He was just a person standing in front of him. Logically, some part of Hinata knew that he should be able to reach him. If he just said the right thing, if he just reached out in the right way. He needed to say something, to stop Komaeda from saying such terrible things… He raised his head to look at Komaeda, but suddenly Komaeda’s form disappeared. All he could see was a face covered in shadow, blinding white hair that spiraled all around it, and a smile. _I don’t want you. I can’t want you. What is this? So scary! No! We can’t intersect or mingle. Cold. Cold. Just say something. No, don’t talk to me._

The urge to get closer to this person to understand him, and the urge to reject him out of fear. Both of them sloshed around in Hajime’s head, like dark, dark, water, and as they became mixed, sloshing back and forth, they became indistinguishable from one another.  
  
“What are you staring at me for? Are you plotting to kill me, Hajime-kun?” Komaeda asked, suddenly out of the blue. The shadows on his face disappeared, and for a moment it looked like the normal Komaeda was talking to him again. The friendly one with a warm smile.  
  
_Just say something. Tell him to stop. Tell him off. Say something..._ Hinata tried to push himself to do so. _Say anything you coward, anything at all please._ However, his body refused to move. At times like this he wished there was somebody else controlling it, perhaps they could control it better.

『Nagito-chan you shouldn’t lie.』Kumagawa spoke up and stepped in front of Hinata. 『You don’t want to die. If you really wanted to, you could have just slit your throat back then.』

“I just didn’t want to die in front of trash like you, Kumagawa-kun.” Komaeda said, the smile on his face making his words seem more passive aggressive than aggressive.

『Picky, picky. Usually though when people keep searching for reasons like that not to die, it means they don’t really want to die.』Kumagawa smiled back at him.  
  
Even though they were both smiling and speaking in cheerful voices, Hinata did not feel at ease at all. He realized he might actually prefer it if those two dropped the pretense and started screaming at each other instead. It was too difficult for him to untangle their true emotions.  
  
“You’re wrong. You’re just like Zenkichi, you don’t know the real me. Quit acting like you know anything at all, it really irritates me when idiots act like they know more than they do.”

『You’re right, I am an idiot, and I don’t understand you but… I am not wrong.』The two boys seemed alike in every way, to Hinata there was only one difference really. Kumagawa’s eyes were much brighter, Komaeda’s had already glazed over in resignation, the same way a dead person’s eyes grew foggy when they were lying face up in a coffin. 『There’s no good reason for you to die anyway, it’s like you said you’re worthless.』  
  
“Being called worthless trash by somebody like you really is laughable-”  
  
『What, I’m good at recognizing my own kind at least.』Kumagawa interrupted him. 『If you’re so useless in life why do you think you’ll be useful in death? You can’t do anything right by anyone, Nagito-chan that’s the kind of person you are. Assuming you could be a stepping stone for hope, that’s just arrogance.』  
  
“How is my arrogance any different from yours? You’re the one who thinks they can defeat the talented even when you’re so worthless on your own.”

『And what about you Nagito-chan who couldn’t even defeat the weak me? Trying to be a stepping stone when you’re so weak is no good. If anybody puts any weight on you at all, you’ll just crumble apart and collapse. What a useless stepping stone.』  
  
“Why are you saying all of this…” Komaeda murmured, the twisted nature of his expression fading away leaving only empty eyes and a mouth left hanging open.

『I already told you, I don’t want you to die, Nagito-chan. What good would that do?』  
  
“Hansode and Hanten, even though they weren't able to become hope or despair, they became the support to allow the birth of hope and despair, they can become something good.”

『No they didn’t. They just became corpses. All of the efforts of their lives have become nothing now, there’s absolutely nothing left of them.』Kumagawa’s expression however continued to further distort. 『I don’t want to see that happen to you.』  
  
“Why?” Komaeda repeated again, an empty echo.

『Because… if you keep living then you could become my very first friend, I guess.』Kumagawa tilted his head, putting his hand on his chin and flashing a smile. 『Well, that’s probably just me forcing my own selfish wish on you. Nobody would want to be friends with trash like me, but well as long as you’re alive there’s still a chance.』  
  
“I chase hope because it always wins. Somebody who always loses can’t do anything at all for me.” Komaeda said as he turned to walk away.  
  
『Ah that’s fine, isolate yourself if you want.』Kumagawa’s hand returned to his chest as he tried to sound more sincere. 『That way you’ll blossom into an even more beautiful minus. Those talented people you love will never love you back, they’ll never be grateful to you, but us minus are connected by emotions deeper and darker than love, and the light of shared hope.』  
  
“Stop…” Hinata said finally. “Both of you stop, I don’t want to hear that kind of talk anymore.” _What are they even talking about? Minus? What’s that? Why am I the only one who doesn’t know anything._ _  
_ _  
_ Komaeda who had begun to walk away, hesitated, stopping on his heel and turning back his head. “Huh? Even Hinata-kun is against me? That hurts...It hurts. How it hurts. What hurts you ask? Why it hurts to think that this is the last I’ll get to see of your face oh so full of hope when you look at me. “ _It hurts ever so slightly!_

“You’re the one who tricked me, why are you acting like you’re the one hurting!”  
  
“Because… we admire hope’s peak academy in the same way, so you’re the one I feel closest to.”

Hajime did not know anything about himself, but he knew he did not want to be Komaeda. He did not want to be alone like that, he would reject that kind of way of living again and again. “No! Don’t put me on your same level.” He would reject. He would reject.  
  
“How could you tell me that we can’t be prepared? Monokuma said it too, we can’t know everything about each other? What do you know about me?” Komaeda said, catching Hinata’s gaze in that moment.  
  
Hinata wanted to look away more than anything else, but he could not. _If I reject I won’t be able to understand him._

“A mutual killing game like this is nothing but a disaster for a worthless person like Kumagawa-kun, he’ll only bring about the worst result possible the more he gets involved, but for you guys you can overcome and train yourselves into something amazing. No matter what happens I’ll always be hope’s ally.”  
  
With that, he walked away and Hinata no longer had the energy to stop him. Kurokami Medaka was still holding a Zenkichi who was beyond words on her shoulder. She looked at Kumagawa, as if recalculating. Emotion no longer showed on her face, and that girl became very computer like as she tried to reassess everything. “I know I was wrong but…. Was I wrong about you, Kumagawa? Have you reverted back to

your old self?”

『My old self? I told you, I was going to catch you off guard one day.』Kumagawa turned away from her, hiding his face as he brought his hand over it. 『I don’t care where it is, in fact it might be better to be in a death game. All you spoiled and happy talented brats can feel the loss that I’ve always felt. If you hesitate, due to finally being forced to lose, finally being forced to feel powerless even for a moment, I won’t hesitate. That’s when I’ll come for you.』  
  
“Kumagawa what are you saying? I won’t understand you if you hide yourself.”

Kumagawa turned around removing his hand from his face and sweeping it at his side.『I’ll win the killing game for sure. I don’t care who I have to step over to win, not even you Medaka-chan so quit hesitating.』  
  
“I see. How very like you.” Kurokami Medaka’s features which had frozen and remained quiet, the absolute inverse of her loud and in your face existence, suddenly reset back to normal. She shook the boy who was clinging onto her. “Come on Zenkichi, if you look this uncool in front of Kumagawa I’ll never forgive you.”  
  
“...” However, Zenkichi continued to just stare on, quietly, letting everything pass him.  
  
“Well, I suppose I’ll forgive you this once.” Medaka said, as she lifted him onto his back properly. _Since when did I become so soft..._ She wondered, she never considered herself a good person, or even kind, just a hard edged one that struggled to do the right thing. Overwhelming. All Consuming. Too Strong. Those were the words that described her, never soft. It’s why Enoshima Junko’s taunts couldn’t reach her, as mean as they were she accepted those assessments of her as a beast woman as fact.  
  
『Ah well, I’m bored now. I’m going to go play with Junko some more.』Kumagawa said, his serious demeanor dropping in an instant, as he playfully ran to the other side of the room like a child going to tease a girl he liked.

Medaka turned her head and watched out of the corner of her eye, Kumagawa and Junko interact. _Ah… she’s smiling._ Medaka thought. She never expected to see such a natural expression on the face of the girl Medaka dubbed as everything inhuman. _How can an evil girl, smile like that?_ With that one small sight, the rigid blacks and whites in Medaka’s mind, became a touch greyer.

“Wait… how can you guys let him get away like that?” Hinata turned around suddenly as he caught up to the moment, looking at all the other children gathered for their game.

Mukuro tilted her head looking a bit oblivious to his distress and the mood of the moment. “Huh?”  
  
Naze crossed her arms blinking her one eye. “What?”  
  
Peko had been hovering around the angry Fuyuhiko, but turned her head back. “What do you mean?”  
  
“How come nobody else spoke up? Why am I the only one that was horrified?” Hinata said, now just deciding to have his breakdown in front of everybody.  
  
“We’re all just kind of used to Komaeda acting like that…” Chiaki said, not looking up from her feet as she stated the plain truth.  
  
“Why do you think nobody hangs around him? I thought it was a little weird when you kept following him around but I just decided it was cuz you had bad taste.” Fuyuhiko said from behind Peko. "Nobody else really likes him."  
  
Gundham raised his bandaged hand to cover his eye. "Unlike me who is a loner by choice, because of an undisclosed angsty backstory which involves an ancient kingdom, a forbidden bloodline, and a power that I must learn to control, Komaeda is not alone because he wants to be. It's just nobody wants to be around him."  
  
“Yeah… I don’t really get why you’re acting so upset… That’s just… Komaeda…” Chiaki said, still looking away from him, leaving pauses as she spoke while still searching for words like she herself was a video game experiencing lag.  
  
“You guys… you guys are…” Hinata turned to them all and said perhaps the truest words he would ever speak on this island. “You guys are weird!” _And I’m the weirdest one here, for wanting to fit in with you weirdoes._

After that they left Monokuma rock as silently as they came in. All of them aware there was no only fourteen of them left.

♛

 

The two of them walked along the beach again, alone for what seemed to be the first time in a long while. The waves were beautiful, the scenery ideal, the kind of lost paradise you could be happy forever in. That was why Junko grew bored of that scenery oh so quickly, and instead looked to the boy right next to her.  
  
It was a good thing they were on the beach, because he looked like he was about to drown in his own misery. “Hey, Misogi, let me see your back…” She said on a whim, and before he could even nod his head along she had already torn off the black uniform jacket he was letting rest on his shoulders.

『Ouch, Ouch, Junko why are you poking me? Quit it, that hurts you know.』  
  
“It’s supposed to hurt idiot, now squirm a little more for my enjoyment.”

『Isn’t it better if we both enjoy it. That’s how a sadist masochist duo is supposed to work anyway Ow! Ow! Ow! I’ll shut up!』

“So, what did it feel like? The moment your plan went wrong and Komaeda stabbed you in the back? Did you feel betrayal? Everything going off the rails? Everything going crazy? The pulse pounding adrenaline as you were trying to survive.”

『Huh? Umm... usually it hurts to get stabbed in the back. Do you... do you not understand what feelings are?』  
  
“Come on, describe it to me. How can I enjoy your misery if you keep it all to yourself. Don’t be a selfish despair hog.”

『Ah, well I wasn’t sad so quit drooling. That’s what I expected to happen. Betrayal is the way that us minus show our camaraderie.』

“You can’t hide it from me, I’m like a bloodhound for despair.”

『You’re like a bloodhound for regular blood too.』  
  
“Yeah and right now you’re making one of those wrinkly dog faces that the they told me means sadness.”

Kumagawa blinked, as if he was oblivious. His mouth twitched for a moment, but he had been smiling the same as ever this entire time.『I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m smiling like the cute boy I am.』

She leaned against his back, her arms slowly wrapping around him. Whether this was the warm embrace of a woman from behind, or the slow wrapping of a snake Kumagawa could not tell. Junko was capable of both, and could flip between either as it suited her for the moment. “What were you trying to accomplish with Komaeda, anyway? I figured out practically everything else from the start but that’s the one thing I just don’t get.”

『I just… didn’t want Komaeda to kill anybody.』

“So you handed him a knife? You see Misogi, you’re so illogical that even I can’t comprehend you. If anybody else had tried to stop Komaeda-senpai, they probably would have just succeeded and we’d be stuck with some boring, hope filled, power of friendship ending, but because you got involved we got stuck with the worst result possible. How wonderful.”

『...』  
  
Junko stopped ranting for a moment noticing how quiet Kumagawa was being. Her clawed red fingers, grabbed each side of his face and turned his head around against his will. From both eyes, tears were leaking out, snot dribbled from his nose it was an absolutely miserable face. “Gosh, and I almost thought you looked cool for a second. You really do ruin everything.”

『I’m sorry… I’ll apologize so...』

“No, don’t... “ Her fake nails sharpened digging into his cheeks. “Listen, Misogi… I don’t know what you’re hiding, or why you’re acting so miserable but… this miserable face belongs to me, got it?”

『Huh?』  
  
“Didn’t I already tell you, you’re mine? The only one allowed to enjoy all the miserable faces you make is me. So, don’t go showing anybody else.”

『Why?』He said, clueless about how others felt towards him as usual. 『Wait, do you actually have a misery fetish?』  
  
“Ssssssh, you... because I want to see them. I want to see every possible miserable face you make. I want to see your face writhe in agony, and the face you’ll make as you endure the worst possible despair. So don’t give up on me now okay, the more you struggle the more miserable you make yourself. Being a participant in a death game is boring, being a mastermind would be way more fun so you’re all I got…t-to distract me I mean.”

『 And I… I want to show you that despair too!』Kumagawa suddenly gained  an energy from nowhere. 『Enoshima-san do you remember, the promise we made that night?』  
  
“I thought we agreed not to talk about that night.”

『I’m going to show it to you! I’ll show you tragedy as many times as it takes! So, don’t get bored yet okay?』  
  
Enoshima Junko took in the determination that suddenly flared up on his face, that had been consumed by sadness a moment ago, and her expression changed on a whim as it always did. “There’s no need to get so serious, c’mon pudding pop this is just a simulation.”

『Huh? What?』  
  
“Oops, sorry was that a spoiler?  I mean, how else would you be unable to use all fiction, blood would be red again, and also there’s the fact that Monokuma keeps making video game jokes. It’s like supes obvious by this point.”

『Oh no, Junko thinks the world isn’t real anymore. Should I rip her face off? Does that count as a murder if I do that?』  
  
“What I’m saying is, this is a simulation so nothing in here matters.”

『It matters to me! I don’t care if it’s a simulation or not, what I’m experiencing in this moment is real, my feelings are real.』

 _He can so easily say his feelings are real. I don’t get it. I don’t get how to live like that at all._ “Aren’t you the guy that’s always saying nothing matters, because people are born for no reason bla bla bla!”

『I’ll still keep my promise to make you miserable though! It matters to me.』  
  
“Hmm…” She grabbed his expression for a moment, perplexed as if studying him. “Fine then, make me miserable again, fill me up with regret just like last time..”

『W-what are you saying?』Kumagawa said, as he recognized the hungry look that flickered through Junko’s eyes.  
  
“I’m saying I just can’t quit you…” She said, as she pulled him into another kiss. Whatever Kumagawa was feeling a moment ago melted into her in that moment, as their limbs overlapped one another.

 _Where does it come from?_  
Enoshima Junko thought as she lie there for a moment in the sand watching the waves sway back and forth.  
_Up until yesterday, there was nothing._ _  
_ _Up until just now, it wasn’t anywhere._ _  
_ _Suddenly, he seemed special to me._ _  
_ _Suddenly, I was chained to Misogi._ _  
_ From that, a devilish thought.  
_I can’t wait to break these special ties.  
I want to break everything that chains me, all of them, all of the chains in the whole world. _

At the same time, Kumagawa Misogi thought something similar.  
_Because she’s special to me._ _  
_ _No matter what I have to keep Junko chained down._ _  
_ _Otherwise she’ll jump from that balcony again._ _  
_ _Anything is better than that moment, being anywhere is better than that balcony._ _  
_ _Even if it’s time spent in a killing game, even if I’m trapped on this island forever.  
  
_

♛

Medaka planned on carrying Zenkichi all the way back to his cabin and then just dumping him like a package on the doorstep. Halfway there however, he muttered slowly underneath his breath. “I can walk for myself…”  
  
She dropped him right then. Zenkichi stood up on his own, but his shoulder slumped and he had a difficult time keeping balance. She held her hand out to him, but Zenkichi muttered again. “No… that’s embarrassing…”  
  
“Then, the embarrassment you feel is your punishment for acting so shamelessly.” Medaka said as she grabbed his hand and dragged him along. In front of the door, Zenkichi opened it with his own key expecting to see Kumagawa inside.  
  
When he did not see him, he looked a bit confused. “Didn’t Kumagawa leave before us? How is he not back yet.”  
  
“Knowing him, he’s probably off fooling around somewhere.” Medaka said, quite seriously as usual. “Well then, if he hasn’t shown up yet then I’ll keep you company until he does.”  
  
“Wh.. what are you talking about? This is my room you know, you can’t be alone in it.”  
  
“We’ve known each other since we were two years old. I’ve been alone in your room plenty of times.”  
  
“Yeah, but that’s when my mom was home. She has like hyper mom senses she’d probably interrupt us before anything happened.”  
  
“Huh? What are you talking about what would happen if I was alone in your room?”  
  
“Nothing!” Zenkichi said suddenly, his face flushing red as a bit of life returned to his cheeks.  
  
“Besides, I need a favor of you…” She said, as she gave his hand one last tug forward.  
  
A few minutes later, Medaka had a white sheet wrapped around her shoulders as a makeshift cape, and Zenkichi was holding a pair of scissors just behind her head. Unfortunately, he was not planning to murder her. I’m sorry, I know this scene would be way more exciting if he was but I have to narrate the facts.  
  
Zenkichi snipped the scissors in the open air. “Is this really alright, Medaka-chan?”    
  
“Yeah, make it nice.” She leaned back letting her long hair flow over the sheet. She had asked him for a personal favor,a  haircut. “Hmm, I guess that… The style I had when I first met you should do.” That was why she had asked it of him, he was the only one who knew her back then. No, perhaps he was the only one who knew her on this island.  
  
“It’s strange for me who brought you down, but then… failed to do anything to protect Shiranui when I was trying to take your place to ask but... What are you going to do from now on, Medaka-chan?”  
  
“Hahaha, let’s see…” Medaka said, closing her eyes as she listened to the soft snips of the scissors. “I was finally given time to relax, and I immediately got thrown into a killing game.”  
  
“Medaka-chan… this is my fault. The old you would have been able to stop everybody from killing each other on the island, even if it meant turning into a dictator.”  
  
“Oh, don’t misunderstand. I am really thankful for what you did. I’ve lost my responsibilities and duties and goals and reasons, lost my standing and work and reason for living. I’ve turned into nothing. In this situation when everybody needs me the most.” She looked up at him, her hair shorter, her eyes completely blank. “I have absolutely no idea what to do.”  
  
“Yeah… that’s why… I can’t even talk I’m so ashamed of myself.”  
  
“No, you did the right thing. Because you didn’t guide me on which road I should take, I have an infinite amount of choices to take.The hope filled me that always was so sure of herself is gone but.. Isn’t it interesting, Zenkichi?  I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. I think I finally understand, what Enoshima Junko said a little bit..it’s my despair that brought about this unexpected result.”

 _That’s right I still have…_ _  
_ _I still have Medaka-chan’s tomorrow._ _  
_ _If I told her I loved her right now, I’m sure Medaka-chan will comfort me._ _  
_ _I don’t care if everybody thinks she’s too harsh and strict._ _  
_ _I know she’s kinder and softer than anybody else._ _  
_ _I could probably even spend tonight with her._ _  
_ _But that’s why I haven’t confessed yet._ _  
_ _It’s fine, I’ll wait even when the world has ended._ _  
_ _Even in a killing game._ _  
_ _Medaka-chan will still be alive tomorrow._

“Alright I’m finished…” Zenkichi said, as he pulled the white sheet off of her. Suddenly, he noticed Medaka’s lack of response and a long silence. “Oi! Don’t fall asleep on me while we’re in the same room! There’s such a thing as too much trust in another person!”  
  
Of course, none of that trust was unfounded. As Zenkici simply picked her up bridal style and carried her to the bed. He himself, left Kumagawa’s bed empty as he was far too courteous to take up the other’s bed just because he had not shown up so far.  
  
Instead, did something else to occupy his time so he would not even look at Kurokami Medaka in her sleep.  
  
“Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.” He said, as he walked outside the cabin and kicked at one of the trees. “Idiot, idiot, idiot! You made Medaka-chan worry about you. You failed Shiranui. You didn’t understand Komaeda. Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!” He practiced his kicks, over and over again. Even when his knees were bruised, even when he felt wet blood trickling down his leg.  
  
By the time morning broke, Hitoyoshi Zenkichi had kicked the palm tree thousands of times. He had worn away a good portion of the bark, under his repeated beatings. Zenkichi was exactly that kind of idiot, the kind that when he was faced with a brick wall, even if he made no progress would keep pounding on it and break himself against it.  
  
The moment Medaka woke up wandered outside and looked at him with dreamy eyes. “Eh… Zenkichi you… stink.”  
  
His body was soaked through with sweat, his clothes dirty and ruined, and he looked this terrible in front of the girl he loved. Zenkichi collapsed at that moment, falling back. “Cut me some slack, Medaka-chan.” He put a hand over his face so the tropical sun would not blind him. “I’m an idiot you know.”

 

♛

 

“Aaaaaaah! This is a public beach! Think of somebody besides yourselves for once!” Hinata said, raising his voice and putting his hands over his eyes.  
  
“How do you keep finding us, what are you the super highschool level pervert or something?” Junko asked, as she started to button up her shirt again.  
  
『I’m pretty sure Hanamura-kun is the super highschool level pervert.』Kumagawa added, pulling his uniform jacket back on over his bandaged back.  
  
“Would you guys stop talking about people I don’t know, and using words I don’t understand. I feel so left out, like the only person who doesn’t get an inside joke…” Hinata muttered, feeling a bit grumpy this morning which was understandable considering two people died last night.

“Well that’s what you get for being a rando!” Junko snapped at him, as she fixed her skirt into place and stood up once more.  
  
『His name is Hajime-chan.』Kumagawa said, standing up right behind her, close enough to be her shadow.

“Quit calling me a rando, too! I’m just as important as everybody else here!”  
  
“Gosh, I wonder is that something you’re sensitive about.” Junko brought a single finger to the smeared lipstick on her lips to taunt him.  
  
Kumagawa wiped at his own lips.『Eh, Hajime-chan what are you even doing here anyway?』

“Kurokami-san asked me to come get you too for an early meeting, well, they asked me to get Komaeda but… you two seemed easier…” Hinata looked away again, averting his eyes.  
  
“Oh right, pick the choice where you avoid your problems I’m sure that will lead to a good ending.” Junko yawned, and then started to be drag Kumagawa along as she followed Hinata to the restaurant. Her thoughts as usual were just along the lines of _Well, I’ve got nothing better to do so I might as well see what happens._

Komaeda however, followed along after Zenkichi staring at his back. The entire time Zenkichi had not looked at him, his glasses hiding the eyes behind them with their reflective glare. Komaeda felt his chest tighten, and raised his hand up to his chest his fingers tightening as well.

 _Zenkichi isn’t talking to me._ _  
_ _I suppose that’s natural._ _  
_ _Since the moment they are born people are divided into talented ones and worthless ones._ _  
_ _Effort leads to success is a huge lie. How could the world be so simple._ _  
_ _No matter how worthless people struggle they will never be able to reach talented people._ _  
_ _People don’t become talented they are born that way._ _  
_ _Zenkichi when you told me otherwise… I wanted to believe you._ _  
_ _I thought, if you killed me you of all people would be able to escape off of this island._ _  
_ _Then I could believe in your hope for real but…_ _  
_ _Ah, I guess it doesn’t matter now._ _  
_ _It’s not worth explaining._ _  
_ _You wouldn’t understand if you did._ _  
_ _You probably don’t want to talk to me anymore._ _  
_

He decided it was better to simply stare at Zenkichi’s back. That was all he had ever done anyway. He was not meant to look others in the eyes, shameful and ugly as he was. Komaeda was surprised to see the restaurant mostly empty, with only Medaka, Hinata, Kumagawa, Junko and then Zenkichi and himself finally entering.

“Looks like everybody’s here…” Medaka said, rossing her arms.  
  
“Huh? Why are you all here so early in the morning? Why such a small group? Ah, I get it. Are you guys planning to kill me? If you want you can punish me for planning to start the killing game.” His fingers spread out on his chest. “That’s fine. This is like a pure one sided love after all. What I wish for is a hope that can overcome any kind of despair! I’m not able to shine myself, so I wish to see you guys sparkling. Please help me! If you want to kill me, please let me join your plan.”  
  
“Yeah, we’re going to punish you…” Kurokami Medaka said. In the background Komaeda heard the sound of chains rattling. It was a ghastly noise that gave him pause.  
  
“Huh? Are you going to chain me up?”  
  
“You’re right! Those who are guilty get put in chains.”  Suddenly, he felt something slap on his wrist. He looked down and saw one hand cuff hanging from his wrist. There was a long chain leading to the other side. He did not quite understand, he was expecting something more painful, or even death. That, and, just attaching one handcuff to him did not make sense. Usually people were chained up with two hand cuffs.  
  
“You’re not the only one who's guilty however. It’s not just you troublemakers, we’re the ones who failed to stop you. That’s why…” Zenkichi finally spoke up and raised his own hand. There was one handcuff dangling from his wrist as well. “We’ll be punished too.”  
  
“Wait, I thought you guys said you were going to chain up the troublemakers…” Hinata said, feeling nervous again.  
  
“Of course, but how better to chain them up to then ourselves.”  
  
Kumagawa realized what was coming, and tried to duck out of the way. 『That is if you can catch me. I quite like making not only trouble, but shenanigans, and also generally playing the fool too much to quit-』However, he took two quick steps after lunging forward and then immediately tripped over his own shoe and face planted in the ground.  
  
Zenkichi merely walked over, and clasped the other handcuff onto his wrist. Kumagawa’s gloomy aura fell over him as he muttered. 『Once again I’ve lost.』  
  
“Yeah, how about no…” Junko said as she took a step back quickly looking at the others in the room.  
  
“I’m faster than you…” Medaka said.  
  
“It doesn’t matter how fast you are if I can predict where you’re going first,” Junko countered.  
  
“Then, I’ll just copy your ability and predict your prediction.”  
  
Junko’s expression fell. “Ugh, cheater! Whatever, maybe being chained up to a beast woman like you will be worth a little bit of despair.” She willingly offered her wrist, and was chained to Medaka.

Enoshima Junko glared at the other, until something clicked. “Wait, you got a haircut! What happened did you go through some character development and need to symbolize the change with a change in your character design or something?”  
  
“Yep! How does it look?”  
  
“Wow I didn’t even know your hair could get any uglier!” Enoshima Junko said with a smile.  
  
At that moment Hinata looked at all the other members in the room, and even though he was a bit slow in figuring it out he realized there was only one person left to be chained to Komaeda. “Huh, wait, me?” He said pointing to his chest.  
  
The rest of them nodded in the room.  
  
“But wait, Komaeda’s dangerous! You can’t ask someone like me to be around him!”  
  
Zenkichi looked confused, and readjusted his glasses. “What are you talking about? You’re the one who's been around him the most so far. You're like... the only person here who likes him.”  
  
“Yeah, but… That’s because you guys are all so weird! I thought Komaeda was the only normal one here.”  
  
At that, everybody in the room laughed except Hinata and Komaeda.  
  
Komaeda looked down at the floor. “Even I think that’s a little mean… guys…”

“Why are you guys acting like this around Komaeda like you’re all used to it? I don’t get it! I don’t get it at all.”  Hinata said, feeling the head in his forehead reach a boiling point one more. He was feeling that way a lot lately.  
  
『Well, it’s only natural that a minus act that way.』  
  
Kurokami Medaka crossed her arms. “Most of us are used to being surrounded by abnormals. Zenkichi is the only one who has a sense of what normal is.”  
  
“Not really, considering his taste in women…” Junko sighed.  
  
“Wait, since when has Zenkichi showed any interest in a girl?” Medaka remarked obliviously.  
  
“Wait! Wait! We’re getting off topic again. I’m tired of being the only one who has no idea what’s going on. Can’t you explain this to me.”  
  
Zenkichi readjusted his glasses again, this time trying to look smart. Which was really the only reason he started wearing those glasses in the first place. “If you don’t get it, then we’ll explain it to you. The only way to understand the extraordinary is to confront it and not run away from it.”  
  
Hinata looked at the other side of the handcuff on the ground, and then picked it up. “Fine, then, but I’m just doing this for myself. So I know what’s going on.” He said as he cuffed himself.  
  
“Being tied to Hinata-kun’s hope so closely, I’m so happy, I’m sure I’ll witness something wonderful.” Komaeda said, his eyes going dreamy for just a moment.  
  
“I just said I’m not doing this for you! I’m doing this for me!” Hinata snapped back at him.  
  
“Yes, but then I’ll get to witness you as you realize yourself-”  
  
“Stop inserting yourself into things!”  
  
The six of them, inexplicably linked went to go find the rest of the kids starting another day. Their numbers would probably dwindle again soon but for now, they wanted to delude themselves into believing that the ties between them could not be broken so easily.


	8. My Impurest Heart for You (1) New Game x Game Over

_I really like games._

In her mind, she pictured every challenge as simple as a hero in a cape rushing forward to strike down a dragon wearing a turtle shell, or some other mystic quest. There could be lightning striking in the background, and the villain could have crab minions. It could even be one of those cliche castle dungeons where the hero needed to avoid falling into lava moats.

_Even if you’re just using a walkthrough, or dropping in to play a minigame I like experiencing games themselves at any time, in any form._

Why was there even lava in the bad guy’s castle? How did the lava get there in the first place? Those kinds of details were unimportant. It just needed to seem fantastical. She was not one for worldbuilding or paying attention to details, she just wanted to escape to fantastical, out of this world scenarios. The kind that you would never see in reality.  
_  
_ _I’m prepared for any ending, knowing that I can carefully plan to shape and create my own world._ _  
_ _The time I spend on games is always enjoyable regardless if I win or lose._

Some might describe her taste as eclectic but really it was just undiscerning. She never paid attention to the details of the games themselves, that was why, both horrible games and beloved games were the same to her. If a game had an out of nowhere plot twist that the audience would complain about, she was the kind to shut off her brain and think ‘as long as it was cool, it doesn’t really matter if it made sense’.

_That’s why I love games._

To her, life was like that as well. Just like she could find redeeming qualities in any game she played, she could find a reason to hope even in any circumstance. In life no matter where you came from, or what you endured, all you needed was a good heart, and to keep striving for the good ending. She really believed it was as simple as that. That was Nanami Chiaki’s hope.  
  
_To me, life is a game within itself._ _  
_ _A game is also part of life as well._ _  
_

“From the story you guys are telling...it feels as though this is developing into a novel and an action game combined…”  
  
Nanami Chiaki had zoned out somewhat when the explanation began, but as usual she got the gist of what everybody was saying. Gathered at the restaurant was Kirigiri Kyoko, Kumagawa Misogi, Hitoyoshi Zenkichi, Kurokami Medaka, Ensohima Junko, Komaeda Nagito and Hinata Hajime.

The conference had been called to clarify what they all remembered, and to fill in the details for Hajime. Medaka had just finished a summary of the incidents at Hope’s Peak and Sandbox Academy that caused those two schools to mix. The student council battle arc, the rise of the not equals, the school trip, the school festival, all of it summarized for Hajime to hear. However, I don’t want to repeat it because as a narrator redundancy is boring.  If you really want to know what happened don’t be lazy just go read the previous work in the series.  
  
“Zenkichi became the subject of the flask plan, a plan to turn a normal student into a talented one and then competed with me in the student council election and won - or rather he tied with that other boy who always talks about hope. That’s the last thing we all remember, the next day of school we woke up on this island.”  Medaka finished her explanation just then.

Hajime noticed the absence of himself anywhere in the story and his expression fell. He did not know if he was grateful that he had nothing to do with the messy lives of all these people, or if he was feeling left out again.He was probably just one of the less noteworthy students of Hope’s Peak, maybe an upperclassmen that kept out of trouble in 77-A or class 76.  “So… Sandbox academy was a front for human experimentation? Then it’s probably better off it got destroyed. I’m glad Hope’s Peak never had anything like that… it would destroy my image of that place.”

『Yes, that would just be terrible if something like that happened at Hope’s Peak.』Kumagawa commented on the side, before leaning his head on Enoshima Junko’s shoulder. 『Hope’s Peak was hiding Junko though, which was way worse.』  
  
“I think you mean way better…” Junko said, gleaming as she stole another piece of Kumagawa’s food to eat.  
  
“So… you’re telling me that all of you had a fighting tournament in the old school building and you didn’t tell me about it.” Kyoko Kirigiri caught the rest of the members at the table in her serious gaze.  
  
“Whoops…” Medaka muttered, lowering her head. “We were all afraid you were going to tell your dad if we let you know.”  
  
“And it’s your fault that I couldn’t get anywhere on my investigations? You kept erasing all the evidence?”

『Whoops...』Kumagawa muttered, lowering his head. 『I had a good excuse, I wanted to be the only one to defeat Junko. You might have become her arch enemy instead of me if I let you find out.』  
  
“And… you were trying to destroy this school the entire time?” Kyoko’s eyes finally landed on Enoshima Junko.  
  
“Whoops…” Enoshima Junko smirked at her, keeping her head held high. “You thought we were simple classmates, but all along I was the Moriarty to your Sherlock Holmes! Why are you goign to do now that you’re face to face with your destined enemy!”

『You shouldn’t get such a big head Junko, considering you’re just as clueless as to why you’re trapped on this island as Conan-chan. You’re not the mastermind this time, remember?』  
  
Enoshima Junko immediately turned around and smacked her hands weakly into Kumagawa’s chest like the two of them were a performing comedy duo. “Mi! So! Gi! *whap* *whap* *whap* I was just trying to enjoy the cool detective and arch enemy trope moment, why don’t you ever let me have any fun!”

『Ow! Ow! Ow! It’s because your fun usually comes at the expense of others..』

“So, then Sandbox academy had abnormals? I heard that before it’s like an ultimate talent but… more extreme?” Hinata continued, wanting to stay on topic.

Zenkichi was the one who spoke up now. “Well, this is a good place to learn it we have the archetypal plus and minus right here.” He said, gesturing to Medaka and Kumagawa who looked away from each other at the same time. “What you would call an ultimate talent is just what we would call specials. They can be eccentric but often, their ability doesn’t take over their whole personality that’s the difference. Nanami-san and Kirigiri-san are good examples of that.”  
  
“Well… I don’t know how to describe myself besides the fact that I like games…” Chiaki said.  
“I’m a detective first and foremost before I’m anything else.” Kyoko said at the same time.  
  
“You guys could read the mood a little better, jeez.” Zenkichi said, pausing his explanation a moment. “Anyway, the difference is both of those two pursued their talents by choice. An abnormal is an individual possessing overwhelming capabilities such that the individual is unable to control that aspect of themselves and inherently seeks to master this power. So, Enoshima Junko the abnormal that perfectly predicts everything and tried to control that by spreading despair, and Kurokami Medaka who was the abnormal that is too close to being perfect and tried to correct that by putting herself in service to humans and spreading hope to them, their abnormalities dominate their own personalities.”

“Hey, at least I have a personality guy whose defining trait is that he’s just the normal one…” Junko quickly snapped back at Zenkichi.  
  
“The inverse of overwhelming ability is an overwhelming lack of ability. The minus are the opposite, they are neither talented, nor driven. Their defining quality is their trauma. They don’t seek to amster their abilities and instead their abilities are obtained through further deterioration of their minds from hardship and trauma. It’s not an internal quality you’re born with but rather a result of your environment, and the nature of the power is often deeply intertwined with a Minus’s deranged mind, and they seek to change the world around them as a result to suit their twisted minds more. Kumagawa Misogi, the minus who lived the most traumatic life possible and forgets to deal with it. As a result he can make bad things as if they never happened, all fiction. His other ability-”

『Anyway, that’s enough of telling them about how miserable I am. I’ve heard it all before, it’s kind of my defining personality trait. So, let’s go to the fun test already.』  
  
“I don’t really get it…” Hinata muttered. “None of this sounds real. So, some of you guys had speial powers beyond talents, and Kumagawa’s was even able to bend reality? Are you sure you’re not mistaking fiction for reality.”  
  
“It’s probably just like classes in a video game that you pick at character creation. Plus, minus, special, normal and uh…” Chiaki tried to explain.  
  
“Not equals like myself  who possess a quadrillion skills. My abilities are so overwhelming, that ultimate talents, minuses, and pluses are all background characters in comparison to me, even attention hogs like Enoshima Junko-chan.” Ajimu Najimi said, from across the room. Apparently, she had been listening in while sitting and waiting with the rest of the children.  
  
“Who are you calling a background character! You’re the one yelling from the background,” Junko snapped back at her.”

“Adding Ajimu into the mix just makes it sound more unrealistic! Using video game terminology doesn't make you’re any closer to reality either, Nanami-san.” Hinata said slamming his fist on the table.  
  
“You’re right, I sound too fantastic. I made the mistake of assuming that somebody like myself could never be real in the past, but the line between reality and fiction isn’t always so distinct. Sometimes reality is even stranger than fiction.”

Then, Hinata realized. “Wait did you guys say test, like… a test to figure out what I am?”

The test was set up in front of him. Several die stacked up together in a cup of water. Hinata picked it up and spilled it on the table. The dice fell in every direction, and landed on several random numbers, like any other normal dice roll might turn out. “Was… that supposed to mean something?”  
  
Zenkichi looked at the result. “Well, if Medaka or Junko had rolled it would have been all sixes, if Kumagawa had rolled it would be all ones.Technically those are both equally improbable results, but rolling all ones usually is a bad result in most dice games. Which means this isn’t really a result of a plus or a minus.”  
  
“Oh…” Hinata said softly.  
  
“Nanami-san, don’t you want to roll? We don’t know what an ultimate talent would roll like.” Komaeda suddenly volunteered.  
  
“Is this a game? I want to play too…” Chiaki stood up suddenly and stacked the dice back up in the cup. She left to go refill it with water, and then spilled it on her own. When she did, the dice fell in random order again with mixed results.  
  
“Yeah, that’s why I asked Nanami to come. We needed a special to compare it to. It looks like specials don’t really register on this test, so you’re probably just a normal ultimate talent student Hinata-kun.” Zenkichi said, as started to wipe down the table.  
  
“Wait… why did you ask Nanami, specifically?” Hinata asked.  
  
“She’s the only one who agreed actually, the rest of the members of your class didn’t want to be around you for some reason, and Kyoko only came here to hear the explanation of what was really going on at Hope’s Peak.”  
  
“Hmmm, why did our fellow Ultimates not want to hear about the abnormals?” Komaeda said finally speaking up. He had been listening to the explanation of personality types the entire time, eagerly, with the pads of his fingers pressed against one another as he tensed in excitement.  
  
“Yeah, I wonder why they wouldn’t want to be around me…” Hinata said, his voice tinged with bitterness as he looked back at Komaeda. Hinata thought it was reasonable that everybody else just wanted to eat their meal in peace without Komaeda bothering them, or trying something else. He wondered for a moment what might have happened if Komaeda was left alone and not handcuffed to him.  
  
_They might have taken it into their own hands instead._ Hinata thought, and with that he bristled for a moment. He thought two separate things. _Komaeda could get hurt,_ and, _he probably deserves it._

 『Hey Zenkichi-chan, you never said what you would roll on this test.』Kumagawa looked at the dice still spread out on the table.  
  
“I don’t think my roll would look like anything… the ability that Anshini’in-san gave me would mess with the results, it undoes all of the qualities of a traditional protagonist right? It’s like Komaeda is always saying about me I’m hard to define.”

『I see… still what a disappointing result, he might have made a good minus.』  
  
“You mean rando? I mean it definitely is weird that he’s the only one here none of us can remember, that’s obviously going to lead to something but… Maybe it’s one of those non-twist twists and he’ll just turn out to be an average guy.” Junko looking at Hinata’s back as he walked away. As she stared at his back, there was something familiar about it but she could not place it. _His hair it’s… way ugly when it’s short like that,_ was all she could think. Her mind drew up a blank, and that most of all was alarming to Junko as she almost never knew nothing about a situation.

 『Yeah, but don’t forget an inferiority complex is what drives a minus. I don’t think Nagito-chan was wrong when he said that he and Hajime-chan were similar.』  
  
Hinata as he walked away caught up to Chiaki. “Nanami! I wanted to thank you, for just now you took the test to reassure me right? And earlier, when I was scared of Komaeda, you’re the one who spoke up.”  
  
“Huh? What’s so scary about me?” Komaeda asked, following behind him genuinely not getting it. “I’m way too weak to be a threat to somebody of genuine Ultimate Talent.”  
  
Hinata was ignoring him though. He was not able to commit himself to normal aggression for Komaeada so he settled for passive aggression. “Why… why do you keep helping me?”  
  
Chiaki thought about it for a moment. “It’s just… what I do…” She gave a spaced out answer as usual as it was difficult for her to find words. “In games you should always try to shoot for the good ending right? Life is like that too, you should always pick the good choices.”

 _Yeah this person is..._ Hinata found himself thinking as he relaxed around her. _This is the person I want to be more like, a kind person who helps others without thinking twice about it._ Hinata often found himself dwelling on things though, and he thought much more than twice on them. _I’m a talented person like her, not like Komaeda I’m sure of it…_

His fists tightened. _I…_ **_I will live the life I want to lead. I will become the protagonist of my own story. I will become a version of me that I can be proud of around…_ **

A splitting headache suddenly hit him, like something was trying to piece through his skull from the inside out. He clutched at his forehead with both hands and rocked forward for a moment.

 _“_ Are you okay Hinata-kun? If you’re not feeling well I suggest resting for today, even though we were all going to investigate the new island together, or perhaps fresh air and a long walk is exactly what you need.”  
  
“Quit pretending to be a considerate guy, I know it’s all fake…” Hinata gritted his teeth and stared back up at Komaeda. “Even if you’re acting nice now you’ll say something weird to ruin it a moment later.  
  
“I am just trying to suggest you should rest, if you exert yourself too much you could damage your talent.”  
  
“See, that’s exactly what I was talking about!” Hinata snapped at him, loud enough his voice echoed throughout the beach.

  
"..."  
  
 _She's staring off into space... how do I ask her to to come with me today?_

 

"Ah... sorry, I was getting a little sleep. I didn't sleep at all last night." Chiaki said wiping at her eyes.   
  
 _While you were standing. Impressive. Everything this girl does is amazing._ "Have you not been sleeping well?" Hinata asked.   
  
"Hmmm, when I'm gaming I tend to forget about sleeping. Sometimes I even forget to breathe."

 _That's not good...!_  
  
"Plus, I keep having nightmares. I had a bad dream the other day so I've been a little scared," Chiaki said, looking down at her feet.   
  
"Can I ask what kind of dream you had?"   
  


Chiaki hesitated for a moment. She did not want to worry the boy in front of her, anymore than she wanted to worry her classmates. She would keep the dream of being stabbed from every angle and then reaching out for a long haired shadow who merely looked at her impassively alone. "I dreamt about "Trio the Punch." The statue at Jabberwock Island changed into a bald old man with a thin mustache. It's probably because the game also takes place on a tropical island."

 _I don't get that reference... will she think I'm uncool if I don't get it._ He quickly changed the subject. "You really enjoy games, huh, Chiaki?"   
  
"Hm,, how should I put it? I like it, but gaming is my life or maybe life is just a game? Either way.. That's all the more reasons why we need to stop the killings. It's not a game if you're not having fun. If doesn't mean anything if you just focus on winning or losing."

"You're right. It doesn't mean games always have to have happy endings, but you should get something out of beating them. Nobody wants to play through a pointless story."  
  
"There might be weird games here and there, but there are ways of enjoying those, too. That's why bizzarre games are fun. I feel the same way about people too. Even strange people can be fun, just like you Hinata."  
  
"Haha... As expected of the Ultimate Gamer. ... Wait are you calling me weird?" 

"But.. to tell you the truth, there's one type of game I'm not really good at."  
  
"I see, what is it?"  
  
"... I won't tell you."  Chiaki pulled the hood over her head, turning away from him.   
  
Hinata reached after her, pulling on one of the ears of her hood. "Wait! Do you want to spend the rest of the day together? We might get to know each other better, I can show you some fun places on the new island."  
  
"Okay, but... I'm still not telling you."  
  
"I wasn't trying to get it out of you!" 

 

♛

 

After crossing the great bridge Hinata stood before the second island. The wind suddenly changed directions, and a fresh breeze blew at his back causing the tails of his shirt to whip back and forth and exposing his lower back. Just as he carried the sun was rising over the highest point of the island a set of ruins overgrown with plant life.  
  
“Oooh, that place looks dangerous and mysterious. We should go there first it’s definitely somewhere where our hope is meant to be significantly tested…” Komaeda said, standing at least a meter behind Hajime at the limit of what the chain between them would allow the distance apart and holding his hands together.  
  
“Alright, then we’re definitely checking out the creepy ruins last if Komaeda wants to go there.” Hinata said, as he trudged on ahead dragging Komaeda with him.  
  
“Awe…” Komaeda’s hopeful expression sunk.  
  
Hinata turned around to face him. “Listen you no complaining, you see this.” He said gesturing at the chain dangling from his wrist.  
  
“Of course I see it, it’s the connection between Hinata-kun and I.”  
  
“No, it’s the leash and you’re the dog, so just be obedient and don’t cause trouble.”  
  
“Awe… I miss my dog…” Komaeda muttered, his expression sinking even further.  
  
Chiaki was walking at Hinata’s head. She pulled her hood over her head to deflect the sun’s glare. “Hinata-kun, why exactly did you want me to come with you today?”  
  
Hinata really wanted a buffer between him and Komaeda, and he wanted to pay Chiaki back for helping him at the trial. However, he could not articulate either of those things. “It’s umm… you’ve played adventure games before right? I thought you’d be helpful for exploring.”  
  
“Oh, you’re right, I love those kind of games where you win by clicking on everything…” She walked up to Hinata and put a hand on his stomach. “Click… I wonder what your item description would be. Hmmm, wow, you feel more muscular than you look.”  
  
Hinata wondered if it was only Chiaki and Komaeda who had no sense of personal space or all the other Ultimate Talents were like this. Behind him, Komaeda overhearing Chiaki’s description of Hinata’s muscles averted his eyes. A moment ago he had been observing at the parts of Hinata’s back that were revealed when the wind blew his shirt (for the sake of analyzing his talent of course Komaeda reassured himself), but he did not want to get caught staring.  
  
Hinata skipped the ruins and instead went to the safest looking location, a pharmacy. He opened the door to see a floor with several neon strip lights running across it. The pharmacy was lined wall to wall with medicine, each shelf marked for a type of medicine. The entire place gave off a sterile vibe.  
  
Zenkichi, Kumagawa and Mikan had already made it to the store. Mikan especially seemed to be paying attention to the various types of medicine that were on the shelves.  
  
“How nice, hopefully her talent as the Ultimate Nurse can better blossom here.”  
  
“What do you mean by that?”  
  
“Well, if one of us gets injured won’t it be a good thing because she’ll be able to be useful.” Komaeda said, gesturing at Tsumiki who cowered away the moment she realized they were talking about her.  
  
“No, it’s definitely a bad thing because somebody god hurt! You gotta stop with this ends justify the means logic… Right, Nanami?”  
  
Chiaki however was not paying attention to the conversation. “The smell of alcohol is making me sleepy…” She muttered, “I hope this place sells potions so I can restore my HP.”

Kumagawa seemed to be looking for something in particular as well, and when he found it a dirty smile spread across his face, right before he noticed the others looking and shoved it behind his back.  
  
“Hey… what are you buying?” Hinata said immediately suspicious.

『Uh… water balloons...』  
  
“Oh, I guess that’s alright, kind of weird to buy water balloons at a pharmacy but you are a weird guy…” Hinata said, as he scratched at his cheek.  
  
Behind him, Komaeda narrowed his eyes. “HInata-kun I”d never insult your talent… whatever it is, but for an Ultimate you’re kind of dumb.”

“Hey! I’m not dumb! You’re the one who's always spouting nonsense!” Hinata snapped back at him.  
  
Komaeda let his free hand rest upon his head. “Hinata-kun is so rude to me today, I don’t know why. We were getting along so well until yesterday.”

Kumagawa had no social tact either like the rest of these nerds (i’m sorry like the rest of these “characters” can’t let any narratorial bias show) so he just directly stated what he was thinking.  『It’s because he mistakenly believes that everything up until now was just you deceiving him, because he finds it so hard to reconcile the two very different parts of your personality so he defaults into thinking it was all an act.』  
  
“Don’t say something so insightful it’ll make my skin crawl if it comes out of your mouth…” Komaeda said, his face turning pale (well paler than usual) and the corners of his lips curling downward into a nauseous expression.

『Nor are you able to explain yourself, Nagito-chan. Thus, it becomes a war of attrition on both sides and there is no gain.』Kumagawa did not break eye contact, continuing to unnerve Komaeda , and from the smile on his face he seemed to enjoy doing so.   
  
“What are you talking about, it was an act! He followed me on the investigation when he knew the whole time he was partially at fault.” Hinata said, looking to Kumagawa.

『Yes, but you assume his intention was to harm you. You don’t understand the nature of his minus.』  
  
“Minus…” He remembered the word ‘minus’ appeared in the tablet’s character description of Komaeda.

『The nature of a minus is to cope, Komaeda is the minus who copes with his terrible luck cycle.』

“I don’t get what you’re saying… and I don’t really want to understand either, because you’re a liar just like him.”

『Ah, you’re right I am a liar but… just as important as finding out the lie is finding out why the lie was told. Is a lie told to protect something, or someone really that bad?』  
  
“You seem like the kind of person who only tells selfish lies though.” Hinata’s target like eyes narrowed on Kumagawa.  
  
『Ah, you’re right again but… is it so wrong to tell lies to protect yourself? Are you saying it’s better to let yourself get hurt?』When Hinata had no answer Kumagawa continued.  『If a minus tries to protect themselves or others though, regardless of their attentions, things will turn twisted and they’ll usually end up with a result that they didn’t want. That’s why you shouldn’t take things at face value, truth can be quite stranger than lies.』

“And you’re the strangest of all…” Hinata said in a cold voice. He was not sure why, but, everything about Kumagawa repulsed him. With Komaeda at least there was a push and pull, but he just wanted to deny entirely the existence of Kumagawa, like he was just a product of hallucination of imagination, like if Hinata shut his eyes and counted to ten he would go away.

『Ah, you’re right, you’re right! Strange, Selfish, Liar, that’s me in a nut shell.』Kumagawa said, smiling and waving his hand in the air as if they were just joking around. None of Hinata’s insults seemed to reach that boy so he could probably say whatever he wanted anyway.

Zenkichi had taken his eyes off of Kumagawa when he noticed how nervous Mikan seemed. The bleeding heart that he was, he couldn’t help but fall for Mikan’s ‘weak victim in need of saving’ act. If this were a horror movie where teenagers get killed one by one, Zenkichi would probably be the first to die due to that naivete. Wait, this is exactly that kind of story. So why isn’t he dead yet? Oh… I’m the narrator I’m not supposed to ask those questions.  
  
“Hey, do you want help carrying your bags or something? Do you need Monocoins to buy all that stuff? You look worried…” Zenkichi said, offering her any help she wanted with a friendly smile.  
  
Of course since this was Mikan she took that exactly the wrong way. “Y-you don’t think I’m good enough to carry these bags on my own? Are you looking down on me? Waaaaah!” She ran away from him stopping in front of Hinata as she did.  
  
“Uh…” Hinata stared at her in silence. _Why is she trying to avoid eye contact._ “Hm? Did you want to talk or something?”  
  
“I-I’m sorry!” Mikan snapped again, folding her hands and bringing them up in front of her chest.  
  
“Wh-what’s this all of a sudden…!?!”  
  
“I-I thought… You clearly looked like you were in a bad mood. D-did I do something wrong again? What should I do? Um… would it make you happier if I took all my clothes off?”  
  
“H-hold on! Why are you reating like that?”  
  
“You’re right… You don’t want to see me naked, right? Then, how about my money…?”  
  
“S-seriously, hold on!” Hinata said, making his most exasperated face yet as his eyebrows pinched and his forehead turned a shade of bloo.  
  
Mikan had already started crying by this point though. “Nggghhh… I’m sorry…” 

 _I have no idea what to say to this girl…_ Hinaa thought, as he felt sweat forming on his brow. “Hey Mikan. I just want to talk to you normally…”  
  
“T...today is a beautiful day...” Mikan overreacted again. “S-should I take off my clothes?”  
  
Hinata stood in stunned silence, freezing up as he had no idea what to do. Just then, Kumagawa appeared behind Mikan resting both of his hands on her head.  『I’ll talk to you abnormally Mikan-chan. You’d look wonderful in a naked apron, especially if you stripped all your bandages off and showed your scars but, Junko is the only one I want to see in a naked apron now. Also, she’d gauge my eyes out if I saw somebody else like that.』

“Oh, you’re right I should probably stop suggesting it then…” Mikan said, as she calmed down a little bit in reaction to Kumagawa’s touch.

 _What kind of wavelength are those two on?_ Hinata said, watching again as his eyebrows and expression went crooked in surprise.  
  
『You probably like showing your body off in front of girls more than dumb boys like me and Hajime-chan, right?』  
  
“Yeah, you’re right…”

『Are you just agreeing with everything I say?』  
  
“You’re right again!”

『Mikan-chan’s so cute when she does that. Hey, tell me what you really think though. What’s the best type of bandages I should use to redo the bandages on my back, you’re the only one I can trust with this.』  
  
“Bandage…? Let’s see… There are a lot of different types these days. It’s extremely convenient because there are waterproof tyes and sticky types… But I definitely like non-elastic types the best. They’re not too constricting… but they still firmly secure wounds!”

『Ah, that’s nice. I don’t mind being constricted though, because it’s like Mikan-chan is hugging me.』  
  
“Ah, s-sorry! I went ahead and started talking on my own.”

『No, it’s only right that Mikan-chan talks over me. After all, Mikan-chan is far more amazing then I am. She’s a minus with talent. I don’t know where I’d be without her.』

“U-um… Thank you, Kumagawa-kun. You don’t mind talking to me, right?”

『Of course not.』  
  
“Will you pat me on my head?”

『Sure, sure. Mikan-chan’s the flower of the minus, so she deserves to get praised.』Kumagawa said, he reached out with his rough hands to touch her head, but Mikan’s expression became incredibly soft when interacting with his cut up and scarred hand.  
  
Hinata turned away from the both of them, leaving the pharmacy. “I don’t get that guy. I thught he was supposed to be ‘the despised one’ or something edgy like that.”  
  
“Kumagawa has a strange and unreadable nature, it allows him to get other’s barriers down and enter their hearts easily…” Komaeda said as his hand lingered on his own chest for a moment. “I was there the day he met Tsumiki-san though. In the past Tsumiki clung to Junko, and worshipped her as somebody far superior, like a goddess. Kumagawa came to occupy that same place of importance but in reverse, he’s somebody far inferior to her that she can feel better when she compares herself to him.”

“So… were you guys friends in the past?” Hinata asked again.  
  
“I keep telling you we’re not friends.” Komaeda, looked away, puffing up both of his cheeks.

 _Is he… pouting?_ Hinata thought. Before he could say anything else he found a tug on the short sleeve of his button up shirt.  
  
Chiaki was still next to him. “Hinata-kun, have you been collecting your hope fragments?”  
  
“Huh? You mean those weird diamond symbols that appear in the profiles on our E-pads?”  
  
“If you’re wondering why you couldn’t talk to Tsumiki-san right now, it’s probably because you haven’t developed your social link enough with her yet. If you want to pursue her route, you should probably talk to her more. As long as you choose the right things to say, I’m sure your relationship will inevitably deepen with her just like in a game…”  
  
“Ah, okay. Thank you…” Hinata said, but as he rested his chin on his closed fist he thought. _I have no idea what she’s talking about. At least when she’s babbling it sounds like she’s trying to be nice though unlike Komaeda._

After Hinata had left, Kumagawa turned around to look at Zenkichi who was still looking around cluelessly.  『Hey, Zenkcihi-chan can Mikan-chan and I talk in private?』  
  
“Why can’t I listen?”

『Well, it’s about girly things.』

“So, there’s nothing wrong with a guy engaging in girl talk.”

『I guess Medaka-chan will be fine if you overhear another girl’s girly things.』

Zenkichi immediately stuck both fingers in each ear. Kumagawa turned around and put his hand on Mikan’s head once more.  『Mikan-chan I hate to use you but...』  
  
“But I love to be useful!”

『Yeah, I know… My mobility’s limited while I’m chained to Zenkichi-chan, unless I like… cut off my hand or something but I’m not stupid enough to do that. So, can you watch Fuyuhiko-chan and Peko-chan for me. It’s a little suspicious how they’re always together in this game, they always avoided each other in the real world.』  
  
“Oh, okay! If that’s what you want I’ll do it.”

『If you don’t want to spy on your classmates that’s okay... 』

“You’re the only classmate I need, Kumagawa-kun. I’m a member of class minus thirteen aren’t I?”  
  
Kumagawa hesitated for a moment. His smile fading, his eyes brimming blue with emotion. What he said next I’ll save as a surprise for later, because surprises are what prevent life from being boring.

  
♛

 

Hinata’s next destination was a library. However, when he opened the door the sight astounded him. A giant library, filled with many books both imported and local; even occult magazines could be found here.

“Impressive isn’t it? This place has even more books than the collection at the Kurokami mansion!” Kurokami Medaka called out from a table where she was sitting with a bright smile.

Considering the books piled on both sides of her, Hinata made this genius deduction _Ah… she probably likes reading._ “Yeah, that sure is a lot.”  
  
“I read every book in the Kurokami Mansion by age two, so clearing this place out should be easy enough.” Kurokami said as she snapped a book shut. “We should analyze every scrap of information they give us if we want to escape off of this island.”

“Wow… Somebody is going through life with all of the cheats on.” Chiaki commented, looking at Hinata at her side.  
  
“Yeah, definitely…” Hinata agreed with her.  
  
Komaeda was the only outsider in the trio. “Wow, Kurokami-san overcame the despair of Hanten’s death and is now aspiring to a greater hope. That’s why I admire her so much.”  
  
“Do you even like Kurokami-san that much?” Chiaki asked him. “You were always hanging around Zenkichi-chan after all. I thought you were into Otomes, not Gal Games.”

“I guess I should try to be useful and look at these books too…” Hinata said as he walked over to a shelf.  
  
Behind him, following unwillingly because he was attached to a chain still Komaeda spoke up. “Oh, perhaps one of these books will unlock the memory of your talent. I should help too.”  
  
“You’ve done enough helping already!” Hinata snapped at him again. He tried to quietly focus on the books in front of him, but as he did he instead he ended up overhearing the conversation of Ensohima Junko and Kurokami Medaka. It’s not like he wanted to, Enoshima just had no indoor voice.  
  
“Uggggggh, Kurokami-san are you trying to murder me with boredom? Is that what you’re trying to do? We should ask Monokuma right now if it counts as a murder if I die of boredom at your hands.”

“Keep your voice down first year Enoshima, this is a library.” Kurokami Medaka said without looking up from her book.  
  
“What are you talking about? This is just my normal presence. If I’m loud it’s because everybody wants to hear what I have to say.”  
  
“Well, you’re supposed to whisper in a library.”  
  
“YoU MEan LIKE ThIS.”  
  
“Are you just pretending to not be able to whisper to mess with me, or can you genuinely not whisper?”  
  
“...Upupupu.”  
  
“You’re not going to tell me, so it seems.” She went back to reading turning another page in her boook.  
  
“Uuugh, this is so boring. Do you know how boring it is watching you read books? Not even cool books like light novels, just boring old books with easy to memorize information in them.”  
  
“Wow? Do you find this boring Enoshima? I wouldn’t know, you’ve only mentioned it four hundred and three times before this.”  
  
“Did you just crack a joke?”  
  
“...”  
  
“Hey come on there has to be something interesting about you. What about that person you murdered, you didn’t tell me about that yet. Is it really true?”

  
Kurokami Medaka’s eyes darkened for a moment. Her face was unreadable even to Junko who was still quite observant even while trying to repress her abnormality so Medaka could not copy it. Then, she looked forward with dull looking eyes. “Yes, I was the one who killed Matsuda Fukurou. Because of me, the man that I loved as a father died, and it’s also my fault the Matsuda branch family became extinct. I’ll tell you about it without making any excuses.”  
  
“Huh? Fukurou? Who’s he?”  
  
“As the successor to the Kurokami I have seven suitors… No, I should say had. My father was one of them.”  
  
“Wow, seven whole suitors. You’re very popular for a she-hulk. Men these days have such bad taste.”  
  
“If that was the case, then it would have been fine. However, this doesn’t have anything to do with how popular I am. The suitors weren’t after me, but the Kurokami Family. The Kurokami family has seven sub families, it has been a tradition for the successor of the Kurokami family to be courted from each of these families. The sub families wanted to put some of their own into the main family, and the main family wanted to mix in some new blood. The courtship was like a fight over a political marriage for power. The result was what happened three years ago, when I graduated into middle school. The suitors including my father came together.. It’s now called the Jet black Wedding Feast. The place it was traditionally held was an artificial island that my family invested heavily in the production of before it became a tourist location, Jabberwock island. Matsuda, Kuguruki, Kotobuki, Monozono, Nienami, Kanaino, Yuzuriha, these seven families fought to become a Kurokami. It was a hellish wedding feast.”  
  
“Whaaaaat? That’s so cool! You were involved in a death game in middle school? I can’t believe you were almost cool, then you had to go and ruin it. I’m totally going to sue your family for ripping off my death game idea though. Still, to become a Kurokami they were willing to wash their blood with blood, what despair.”  
  
“Exactly, but there was one there who wasn’t like that. That was the victor, Fukurou. Since I was in middle school he loved me not as a wife but as a daughter. It was the first time an adult had ever taken care of me, beforehand I was always treated as a mini adult. But, Fukurou had a strange obsession. He like artificiality, forgeries, fabrication and because of that his research delved into the forbidden.”  
  
“What? There’s a mad scientist now too? That’s one of my favorite tropes. Why do you get such a cool backstory all of a sudden if it led you to become such a boring person.”  
  
“His favorite area of research was fabricated memories, and artificial talents.”  
  
“Artificial talents? You mean like that flask plan that Ajimu is always going on about?”  
  
“No, different. A flask plan would just create somebody able to learn any talent like a genius, so like myself. If I were to copy your analysis it would have been produced by me learning it still in my own way. What he wanted to do was make it so you could download a talent into somebody’s brain on command, so one step ahead of me.”  
  
“So… did it work?”  
  
“No, he was killed for his research and for being the winner of the jet black wedding feast. I was so enamored with finally having an adult take care of me, I didn’t try to stop him. That’s why it’s my fault.”  
  
“Laaaaame, I thought you killed him with your own hands. Ajimu-san needs to stop being so misleading.”

“Hmmm? Don’t you hate understanding things too easy, and like when things turn out unexpected? Anyway, since I’ve told a piece about me now let me know about yourself…”

  
“I already told you, hope’s the status queue and despair’s where it’s at. There’s not much else you need to know about me.” Enoshima Junko’s red nailed fingers curled on the table, and she smiled. “Why are you cruious about me anyway, I thought you didn’t acknowledge me as human.”  
  
“There must be some spark of humanity in you, otherwise Kumagawa Misogi wouldn’t see anything in you.”  
  
“Wait, you see Kumagawa as human and not me? How, we’re pretty much the same. Except I’m better looking, smarter, more funny…”  
  
“Kumagawa values his comrades and you do not. You make everyone loyal to you suffer for it.”  
  
“Yeah, so what…?”

“What about loyalty?”  
  
“What’s that word mean?”  
  
“You… are you pretending to not know just to annoy me or do you genuinely not know?”  
  
Enoshima Junko yawned. “There’s no point in bothering to think about what bores me. Friendship, loyalty, yadda yadda, those are just all hopeful values. Friends forever, you know that’s just another way of saying status queue.”  
  
“But what if loyalty existed among despair? The bonds between people, their loyalty, can cause people pain too. For example, your sister… she is quite loyal to you. It’s in your bond as despair sisters though that you only hurt her in return for her loyalty, but enduring that pain is part of the relationship for her.”  
  
At this, Enoshima Junko smiled. “Oh, I see what you’re talking about is stupidity.”  
  
“You’re impossible, even for me.” At that moment for the first time in her like Kurokami Medaka genuinely sounded exhausted. “You know we can’t stay in this killing game forever.”  
  
“Yeah, eventually one of us will die.”  
  
“That’s not what I meant, I mean what happens after this game. Killing games were the final solution to your despair plan right? So what happens if you survive this? What were you planning on doing?  Eventually you have to grow up you know, both you and me we won’t have time for games anymore.”  
  
“But… Life’s so empty otherwise, Medaka-chan.”

 

♛

 

Hinata’s trip to the beach house, and the beach had been much shorter than he expected. When he started to look around the house, Fuyuhiko glared at him like he already owned the place.

While he cussed out Hinata, he suddenly turned around and was quite nice to Chiaki. He even invited her to a party he was planning at that beach house. When Hinata asked if he could come along as well, Fuyuhiko said no, and when Hinata asked why, Fuyuhiko said why do you think, and he had to follow Fuyuhiko’s glare back to Komaeda who was smiling behind the both of them.

Which left Hinata to explore the ruins that he said he was saving for last. However, the moment he reached the ruins he saw an iron door, Kyoko Kirigiri and Ikusaba Mukuro standing in front of it, and a machine gun near the door.  
  
“Is that a machine gun?” Komaeda said, instantly zooming in on it. “Imagine how dangerous this place could be, what kind of great reward will we get for overcoming it?”  
  
“It kind of seems like a dungeon. You know one that has a big secret or a hidden boss at the end. The kind that only shows up in video games…” Chiaki commented, poking at the stone wall.  
  
“Yep, nevermind my first instinct was correct. This place is too dangerous we’re leaving.” Hinata said, turning around on his heel and practically dragging Komaeda with him by the chains connecting them. Chiaki followed along as well as she could not think of much to do on her own.  
  
After he had left though the two girls continued talking on their own, and advancing the plot on their own. It was almost like Hinata wasn’t as much of a main character as he assumed himself to be.  
  
“I’ve already walked around the entire perimeter this is the only entrance. The walls are too sheer to scale without any proper equipment.” Ikusaba Mukuro said, sounding like she was reporting to a superior officer.  
  
“It’s too bad we don’t know the code then, it doesn’t seem like there’s any evidence for it on this island either. Maybe on another one, if it’s something we’re not meant to unlock until later.” KIrigiri sunk deep into her own thoughts, almost forgetting the other girl was there for a moment.  
  
Until Mukuro spoke up again. “If you want to try and guess I don’t mind. I’ll input the code for you and if it’s wrong try to dodge the machine gun fire with my reflexes. If I end up dying it won’t count as a murder committed by you, so it’s no big deal.”  
  
“It’s…” Kirigiri hesitated for a moment shocked at the willingness of the other girl to throw her life away. “You don’t need to go so far I’m sure I can find the evidence for the code if we wait a little longer. People who design puzzles like this always leave evidence behind, because they want them to be solved. Are you sure yu don’t know what this place is?”  
  
“I’m sorry… Junko really only told me all the details of the first killing game. I never knew she planned a second one.”  
  
“I see, and are you sure she’s not the one controlling Monokuma?”  
  
“I know for sure that the sister we all talk with and see every day is the real Junko, but… I can’t tell with Monokuma. When my sister slips into her Monokuma personality it’s really hard to get her out of it. When we were younger she’d sometimes get mad at me and pretend to be an entirely different person who didn’t know me for days and she was so convincing with it I always believed she genuinely forgot me.”  
  
“I see…” _What kind of upbringing did this girl have?_ Kirigiri ended up having the same thoughts a lot of people did when interacting with Mukuro when she was being too honest about her past. “Then I’ll trust you for now and go with the assumption that Junko is not the mastermind, and she’s meant to be a red herring.”  
  
“You really… trust someone like me?”  
  
“It’s not that I trust you, it’s that I trust my own deductions. Besides, you lack pretty much all of your sister’s cunning so if you wanted to fool me on your own you probably wouldn’t be able to.”  
  
Despite the harshness of Kirigiri’s words, Mukuro’s freckled face began to blush. “That… that’s so nice, Kiri...”

 _You need better standards for how your treated._ Kirigiri thought but she did not speak that opinion aloud. Nor did she mention how Mukuro ended up using the nickname Makoto gave her. “Besides, you and I are the only ones whose memories extend a day beyond everyone else’s. Therefore it makes sense to trust you with this information and only you.”  
  
“You mean the day after the election, december 25th… when they found Junko and Kumagawa washed up on that river bank together.”  
  
“Yes, a memory that for all intents and purposes does not make sense, considering those two are alive and well in this game.”  
  
At Kirigiri’s cold recitation of these facts, Ikusaba Mukuro suddenly snapped. “They were still alive on December 25th too! That’s the real Misogi-can and Junko I know!”  
  
Kirigiri realized that somebody other than her would reach out to comfort Mukuro in that moment, but she was not capable of such a thing. She merely averted her eyes and cleared her throat. “Yes… as I said we’re proceeding with that assumption. That they are real and what we remember is real. Still, I wonder if Monokuma left our memories in tact in order to deceive us.”  
  
“Junko’s original plan was a complete memory wipe so that our class would turn on each other easier, and also much later realize the despair of having killed their former friends so… it doesn’t make sense leaving our memories in tact. Or even the fact that some of us remember more than others.”  
  
Before their conversation could continue, suddenly a bear appeared between them. “Oh, are the two gloved wearing girls with cold personalities gossiping about little old me? You guys are supposed to be fighting over Makoto’s affections, not a beary handsome gentlebear like myself.”

In response, both girls only glared at him coldly, just how he described their characters.  
  
“Girls, girls, please, I’m blushing.”  
  
“Let me guess, you showed up to deliver a hint. Why don’t you just drop it and leave.” Kirigri assessed the situation as calmly as ever, crossing her arms as she did so.  
  
“Fine, fine, just suck the fun out of everything. Suck me dry, really. Oh I just wanted to mention… Have you guys heard of an organization called the Future Foundation?”  
  
“...” 

“...”  
  
“Oh right, Hajime’s not around so we don’t have anybody to repeat back what I just said in the form of a dumb question. Well, I understand why you’d want to ignore it… Future Foundation is such an embarrassing name. So embarrassing, that only former high school students would come up with it. But it’s definitely real.”  
  
“What is it?” Kirigiri finally took what was obvious bait when she deduced there was no path forward.  
  
“An organization that fights for the future of the world obviously! What else would have that kind of name? Why do you look so clueless, you should know about it at least. Your precious Makoto is involved in it.”  
  
“What did you say about Makoto?” Mukuro said, taking a step forward.  
  
“What does this have to do with you, Mukuro? You’re not involved with a good organization like the future foundation and you never will be.”  
  
“Ikusaba-san, stay calm…”  
  
“You were a terrorist who worked for ultimate despair do you remember? In fact, in the original killing game weren’t you supposed to be the traitor? How do you know she’s not the traitor this time around Kirigiri?”  
  
“Ikusaba!” Kirigiri said seeing the murderous intent in Mukuro’s eyes. Before Mukuro could lunge at Monkuma though it was Kirigiri who jumped forward and pushed Mukuro to the ground. Just then, spears shot out from nowhere missing the both of them.  
  
“Awe, you really are a disappointment. You can’t even get stabbed right, and you got saved by Makoto’s friend who you were supposed to protect.” Monokuma said, with one last wave goodbye before disappearing again like he always did.  
  
“Sorry…Even though I’m supposed to be helping you I’m no good...” Mukuro muttered as she picked herself up. “I made you protect me…”  
  
“No, it’s fine. I was just keeping the promise I made to Kumagawa.” Kirigiri picked herself up as well and dusted herself off. “You shouldn’t listen to easily to what others tell you. Even though you are calm, I wouldn’t call you a stoic like me. That bear was wrong we’re nothing alike at all, your internal logic is too weak.”  
  
“I’m sorry about that too… or umm… I’m not sorry? Umm… am I supposed to listen to you about not listening to others? But isn’t that listening to others… Wait, what about MIsogi-chan?”  
  
“This morning he said he would get Medaka-chan to tell me everything about the mysteries of hope’s peak I couldn’t solve no matter how hard I tried, if I watched over you.”

  
“Misogi-chan…” Mukuro repeated again grabbing her own shoulder. He was still trying to protect her, even though she was mad at him, and blamed him unfairly for letting her sister fall off that ledge and into that water. She really was the worst. She was so bad, even the narrator agreed she was the worst.

 

♛

 

Hinata had stopped at a diner to rest after walking along the whole island. Komaeda sat next to him in the booth, and Chiaki across from them. All three of them were smiling pleasantly at one another, but Hinata noticed something.  
  
None of them were talking.  
  
Komaeda and Chiaki had such spacey personalities though, that Hinata was the only one who seemed to notice how awkward it was. He tried to think of a subject of conversation between the three of them desperately.  
  
“Uh… so you guys were in the same class, right?” Hinata finally squeaked out.  
  
“I was just the Ultimate Luckster, I only barely belonged in that class. Nanami-san was different though, she was the hope of the entire class. The class representative that everyone banded together around…” Komaeda began to rant again before Chiaki cut him off.  
  
“It wasn’t like that Komaeda… you’re blowing things out of proportion. I just wanted to be friends with everyone.” Nanami said, looking away from both boys now.  
  
“You should give yourself some more credit. I’m sure you did an amazing job as class rep!” Hinata said, trying to encourage her.  
  
“Huh? Why do you think that?”  
  
“Umm… because I think you’re amazing I guess…”  
  
“Why do you think I’m amazing?”  
  
“Umm… because, you have a talent right? That’s pretty amazing.”  
  
“Yeah, but everybody on this island has talent, even you Hinata. If I’m amazing then you are too. Then there’s no reason you have to go out of your way to compliment me.” Chiaki’s head sunk and her chin rested on the table. “I don’t really get what’s so extraordinary about talent anyway. It’s just like working hard until you’re good at something, right? It’s no different then level grinding in a game for a long time.”  
  
“No way! Talent is like, it’s like the difference between being a party member in an rpg, and a level one villager.” Komaeda suddenly joined in the debate. _  
_ _  
_ _I guess we’re talking about this now…_ Hinata thought, caught in between the both of them.  
  
“What do you mean by that?” Chiaki said, the video game metaphor drawing her attention in.  
  
“Well, party members are allowed to go on adventures right? When they grow, it allows them to progress as people. It’s because they were designed that way from the start, they were meant to be extraordinary. No matter what though, a villager will always remain a villager. Villagers aren’t meant to go on adventures.” Komaeda said, his eyes suddenly giving off the vibe that he was looking down on others.  
  
Hinata shook out of some instinctive sense. _I don’t get it. Why is a guy like Komaeda who is always calling himself trash looking down on others at the same time?_ Yet another paradox was added that Hinata could not turn around in his head.  
  
“Ordinary people can’t do the extraordinary, is that what you’re saying basically? Because I can think of a counter example. Kumagawa Misogi. He has no talent at all, but he’s quite extraordinary.”  
  
“What… do you like that guy?” Hinata suddenly spat out.  
  
“No, not really. He creeps me out the same way Junko does but… he’s definitely not normal. Why do you say talent has to face adversity Komaeda?”  
  
“It’s because it’s only when they throw themselves head first into despair, that talent can thrive. It’s like random encounters and boss fights in an rpg, you need to fight them in order to progress.”

“Well, isn't’ that what Kumagawa always does? He charges head first into despair, with that kind of heroic sense of determination that you say only belongs to talented people? Hitoyoshi is like that too, and he didn't originally have talent either. They're both idiots who act like that. ”  
  
For this, Komaeda had no answer.  
  
Even Hinata had gone silent. However, listening to both Komaeda and Chiaki talk, he realized something. _These two, even though they’re completely different… they both see life as a game don’t they?_

 

♛

 

That night, just when Hinata thought he had perfected the art of tuning out Komaeda and he could get some sleep, Monokuma’s voice run over the loudspeakers. Before he knew it he found himself making the walk to Monokuma rock again, Komaeda in tow.  
  
“Why do you look so excited? Do you really want curry that badly?” Hinata asked the other both, who was doing a bad job of hiding his smiling face behind him.  
  
“Hmm? No, he’s obviously not going to serve us curry that’s a trap. I’m excited for what kind of trap he has in store, I want to see you all overcome it.”  
  
Hinata sighed and walked ahead. When they all had gathered, Monokuma appeared out of nowhere and then pulled a sheet off of what looked like an old arcade cabinet cover. “Tadaaaaa! Another gift from your benevolent captor! If you all want to praise me I accept licking my fur as a praise. That’s how bears praise each other. I know because I’m a bear expert and a bear.”

Chiaki was the first to notice. She put her hand over her forehead to get a clearer look in the darkness. “Isn’t that an arcade machine?”  
  
“Yep! That’s correct! Don’t tell me you’re going to play this game!”  
  
“Hey, what’s the game? What games are on this?” Chiaki let out a puff of air, obviously looking excited. She started to breathe really fast.

“I only prepared one game. It’s a game I made myself.”  
  
『Then, it’s not a game I could possibly look forward to playing.』 Kumagawa said.

“Nobody cares what you think, river bear! Don’t compare it to those ameteur fanservice games… This is a famous killing game where a set of colorful characters has to escaped from somewhere they’re trapped wile a mastermind watches that has a huge pre established fan base for the people who are into that sort of thing.”  
  
“F-famous game?” Hinata stuttered out.  
  
“Thank god Hinata is here, I was worried we’d have nobody around to ask obvious qusetions. Tadaaaa! The name of the game is Dangan Ronpa!”  
  
“I… I’ve never heard of that game before.” Chiaki said instantly deflating. “Aren’t you talking about Zero Escape? That’s the only killing game I can think of that matches that premise.”  
  
“No! This is dangan ronpa it’s totally different! God, just play the game I put all my hard work into. It’s not like I’m telling you to play it to enjoy it, right? Upupu you haven’t noticed the good part. This game is gonna be your next motive!”  
  
Hinata suddenly raised his hand again. “I vote we don’t play the game then, and don’t touch the thing that Monokuma is obviously going to try to use to tempt us into killing again.”  
  
“Gah! You’re no fun! Fine, if you’re not going to be any fun then I’m not playing with you! I’m taking my ball and going home!” Monokuma said, suddenly disappearing.  
  
“Good! Nobody wants you around anyway!” Hinata yelled at the empty air as the bear had disappeared again.  
  
Behind him, Komaeda looked confused. “Why… why would you not want to play the game? That’s not good Hinata-kun. You can’t resolve a problem by avoiding it. Hope can only be called so after facing despair.”  
  
“Do you really think something good can come out of that game?”  
  
“I definitely think so…”  
  
“Even if somebody dies? Would you still call that a good result.”  
  
“Yeah, because I believe with all my heart hope will always win in the end. So it doesn't matter if I or anybody else-”  
  
“I don’t want you to die, jackass! Get it through your thick skull!” At that moment, Hinata lost his temper. WIthout thinking he suddenly swung forward and swung hard hitting Koameda square in the jaw. HInata did not have much experience fighting, but it seemed just by pure luck he had hit Komaeda in the exact right place, and sent him flying backwards with the full force of his punch.  
  
Hinata saw him flying back in the air for a moment, and the chain flying behind him. It took Hinata’s brain a moment to catch up then and realize that he was also connected to that same chain. Suddenly, his wrist was yanked forward and he started to fly forwards to, until both he and Koameda landed on top of each other in a mess of limbs.  
  
“I… I don’t get it. Why won’t you play the game, Hinata-kun?”  
  
“I’m scared. I don’t want anybody to die. It would be my fault if they died, so it’s better not to do anything.”  
  
“But you have talent how can you be…”

Just then, out of the corner of his eye he saw out of all the crowd without hesitation Kumagawa walked forward and started playing the game. 『Oh, huh this is just a visual novel. This should be easy then all I have to do is read. I’m going to get my first victory ever.』 A moment later, the screen turned blood red. 『Huh? How did I get a bad ending already?』  
  
“You skipped past all the dialogue.” Junko said looking over his shoulder.   
  
『It was just a bear making lame pop cultural references.』  
  
“Hey, somebody put a lot of work into writing that bear’s material. I'm sure readers who can properly appreciate him find it very iconic.”

Just then, Hinata stood up again. “Alright, I’ve decided what I’m going to do.” He pulled hard on the chain connecting them causing the chains to rattle. “It was a mistake letting you wander around the first island. ’m going to take this seriously. I won’t let you mess around with anyone.”

“Huh…?”  
  
“Why do you think Monokuma opened up a new island?” He asked Komaeda.  
  
“Hmm, probably to give us new places and environments to commit a murder in.”  
  
“I thought that’s what you said. That’s why I decided, I’m not going to let you off the first island either. This isn't a game I have to take this seriosuly.” He took a deep breath. 

“From now on, you’re my responsibility!” Hinata declared in front of everybody. Then, he realized he had said that all out loud and got embarrassed and dragged Komaeda away.


	9. My Impurest Heart for You (2 - Useful x Useless)

_My classmate Komaeda believes the world is divided into two types of people, the talented and the untalented._ _  
_ _While I agree that there are two types of people I would modify the categories slightly._ _  
_ _People are either useful to somebody, or they are useless._ _  
_ _If you are useful to somebody, even if it’s as a tool you are something at least._ _  
_ _It’s the useless who are worse off, because they’re nothing._

As Peko sat on the tatami mats with her legs crossed, leaning against the wall she made sure t have one hand on the hilt of the sword she always carried around with her even when waiting like this.  
  
She waited in total silence for the longest time. Suddenly, the door slid open and the world was filled with noise. Shouts from the other room escalated. They were nothing more than white noise to her, she had long since learned to tune them out growing up in this household. The only thing she focused on, like it was the only thing in the whole world was Fuyuhiko walking out.  
  
He stood strong for a moment, but his face was bruised, lip purple, and blood running from both of his nostrils. He put an arm against the wall but slid to the ground unable to keep himself up much longer. “Shit, Peko…” He murmured, as his hands traveled down loosening the buttons of the shirt he was wearing and searching through his pockets. “My mom caught my old  man smoking after he promised he’d quit, nearly killed him over it. I was just reading a book in the middle of it when those two started going at each other.” Just as he said that, Fuyuhiko flipped a lighter and lit his own cigarette.  
  
“Young master, why are you smoking? It’s unlike you.”  
  
“It I get caught I’ll probably be killed…” Fuyuhiko tilted his head back, cigarette still hanging from his lip. Peko could not read the expression on his face. She was too busy, staring, at the trail of smoke he exhaled into the air, and the trail of blood on the floor. Blood and smoke, those were things she should have gotten used to growing up in a yakuza household but for some reason this unnerved her when she saw it around Fuyuhiko.  
  
Not that she let these emotions show in anything other than a slight tightening of her fingers around her sword. “They should be more careful. You’re the only heir left after all.”  
  
“Like they give a shit about that. My old man would probably just say ‘anybody who dies due to something like that was never gonna hack it in the yakuza world in the first place’.” He sighed releasing another cloud of smoke.  
  
“Or… is it because of what happened to Natsumi that they’re getting worse lately. Is that why you’re smoking?” She was watching Fuyuhiko close enough to see that one of his buttons had been torn off and fallen to the floor in the fight. She was always watching him closely.  
  
“How has school been recently for you?” Fuyuhiko spoke up suddenly. He took the cigarette away from his mouth,and held it between his index and middle knuckles, lightly jabbing it with his thumb to dislodge a few ashes from the burning end. “The protestors aren’t causing you trouble, right? I don’t expect any of those reserve course wimps can pose a threat to you, but things are heating up lately. There’s talk of talented kids getting ganged up on and mugged after school.”  
  
“We’re supposed to call it a parade. A protest is something people do elsewhere. When students exercise their right to assemble at that school it’s billed as a parade, public relations and all that.”  
  
“They can call it a book fair for all I care. It’s messed up either way. It’s like when they call no good yakuza like us organized crime, or gentlemanly crimminals.”

“If you wanted to know how my life at school is like, you could stop ordering me to avoid you, and we could stop having to take different routes home even though it only leads to the same location.” She suggested in a voice as calm as usual despite the chaos of the house, or perhaps in spite of it.  
  
He sighed, exhaling smoke as he did. “Nothing’s changed at all, huh? Even after going to that school on my own, even after my own damn sister died I still haven’t grown up.” He raised a hand to his face letting it rest on his swollen cheek. “Just a damn brat, getting socked around by his old man and stealing his cigs behind his back.”  
  
“Young master… if you wanted next time they start a fight.” She slid the katana out from his sheathe.  
  
Before she could even complete the action, Fuyuhiko had moved across the room to her. He put his hand on her katana forcing it back into place. “The hell am I always saying! If you fight all my battles for me how is that going to change anything? If I can’t toughen up on my own I’ll always be a weak brat getting pushed around.”

Peko’s grip lessened, and the sword she carried slid back into its sheath with a click. In situations like this, one might think to help bandage Fuyuhiko’s wounds, or even caress his face to comfort him, but Peko knew by this point getting closer would only hurt him further. Yet, from far away there was still nothing she could do.  
  
So she sat in the hallways, sitting opposite to him and watched. As the smoke faded, and Fuyuhiko strained his face into an angry expression, childishly thin eyebrows drawn tight so the emotions he felt inside would never show. Eventually he let his head fall forward, burying it in crossed arms to block his eyes. “What a pain in the ass…. Seriously, I’m worn out…”

 _You might assume that because I have talent I consider myself useful._ _  
_ _However, to me the two are unrelated._ _  
_ _I’ve fought countless times, there is nobody my age who could match my sword skills._ _  
_ _Several people above my age as well can and have easily fell to my blade._ _  
_ _The strongest hitman a yakuza family could ask for,_ _  
_ _Always by his side since birth,_ _  
_ _Yet, I am unable to do anything for him._ _  
_ _That, is uselessness._ _  
_ _In the cold and calculating world of organized crime, those who are not an asset are a liability._ _  
_ _My sole purpose was to be by the master’s side,_ _  
_ _If I could not do that I should have been thrown away_ _  
_ _But the Young Master is unbelievably kind._ _  
_ _Instead of getting rid of the useless one as he should he distances himself from me_ _  
_ _And takes it all on his own shoulders._ _  
_ _That’s why it doesn’t matter how I feel about being apart from him._ _  
_ _I have to comply with the young master’s kindness.  
__I thought somebody like me could manage something as simple as that but…  
_

Her young master was an exceptional man, with a good heart. Though, sometimes Peko wondered if his dedication to the image of being the ideal gentleman crook was something the young master did willingly, or if it was an image he was forcing himself to live up to.  
  
During his first year of highschool the young master was caught hanging out with friends at a party with alcohol. As a demonstration, his father cracked the bottle over his head and then told him to go was up.

His first love was a girl in middle school from a normal family. When he tried to sneak out at night to be with her, his mother ordered a few of their guys to constantly stalk and intimidate the family until they moved away.

The expectations of a yakuza heir was so narrow, it was like a frame over a two dimmensional portrait. Yet, her master always complied with the unreasonable world that he had been born into. He stepped into that frame willingly, and stood still as long as he needed to. He barely ever hesitated, or let his expression show how he really felt. That was how much he struggled to be the ideal mafia boss.  
  
Yet, still she…  
She who was supposed to be his greatest ally, hindered him from achieving this ideal. 

That day, she saw it through a crack in the sliding door. He was pushed to the floor, and his father stood over him. The old man plucked the still lit cigarette from Fuyuhiko’s mouth, and then slowly lowered it towards his body.

Fuyuhiko struggled, but he was still small, and not as strong as an adult. He could only cuss out his old man. He was expecting a cigarette burn, to teach him not to smoke, and not to steal his old man’s smokes most of all. Corporal punishment was common in the world of the yakuza after all.  
  
However the location surprised him. He saw the cigarette butt end moving closer and closer, until suddenly his right eye burned. He could not see anything out of that eye after that. Despite the fact that his old man even twisted the cigarette to make it burn worse, Fuyuhiko did not ry out once.    
  
She should have known to let him handle it on his own. The same way that Fuyuhiko’s ability to see in his eye burned away though, the edges of Peko’s vision burned bright red. In the next moment, the paper doorway she was peering through was cut open, and the next after that the hand which had hurt the young master severed. Before the old man could even complain about the stump though, he was run through with a sword. His last words were garbled because of the blood coming out of his throat.  
  
Peko let him fall off her sword, and back against the wall, blood splashing behind him as it did. Her cold gaze did not change at all, when the mother upon discovering the scene charged at her, and then collapsed after another stroke of her sword.  
  
Her eyes only focused again when she heard the young master call out her name. “Peko… what… what the fuck…” He murmured in mixed horror, unable to properly see the world as he clutched an eye that was obscured by a mix of blood and ash.  
  
“Y...young master.”  
  
“This ain’t how successions happen in the yakuza world you know. We’re supposed to peacefully hand over power from one generation to the next, those guys get pissed when you murder their bosses. This is the kind of shit that underlings spend their entire lifetimes trying to avenge. The fuck were you thinking?”  
  
“...”  
  
“Tell me Peko.”  
  
A normal person would have assessed the situation and tried to handle it with minimal loss on either side. No, perhaps a more complete human being would have been able to know when to interfere before the worst possible result occurred. However, she was a sword, and swords were only capable of cutting, even when they wanted to reach out to others they could only slash. There was no explanation she could give to Fuyuhiko for her actions just now.  
  
Just as easily as she had cut down those two, and all those she had been ordered before this day, she turned the blade on her own neck. Her fingers gripped the edge of the blade to make sure it was in the right direction. One cut and it could be over. Fuyuhiko would blame his insubordinate hitman and the say he took care of her.  
  
Before she could even twitch a muscle though Fuyuhiko, even beaten up as he was, even with only one eye he rushed for her, and knocked her down to the ground. The sword spun out of her hands and across the floor.  
  
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing? Why don’t you ever listen to me?” That’s right, he had told her to wait outside and not interfere when his old man was getting rough, he had told her to stop being protective of him, he had told her to stay away from him from now on and that her service as a hitman was over.  
  
Yet, she was unable to listen to a single one of those commands. The young master was on top of her now, gripping onto her button up shirt. “Stop it Peko… how the hell could I let you die so easily… you’re all I have left. I don’t want to fail both the women in my life.”  
  
The young master let his head rest against her then, nearly collapsing on top of her. It made no sense to her at all, the young master who was always pushing her away because of her own uselessness, now after the worst mistake she had ever made in her life was embracing her.  
  
It felt warm, and despite being a member of the Yakuza, the young master had always been unbelievably soft to touch. However, getting so close to hi in this moment, and feeling so warm after what she had done, after her hands were still wet and sticky with blood only made her hate herself more.  
  
After a long moment, the young master spoke up to her again. “Peko, don’t do anything else on your own from now on. Let me take care of this. I know somebody. It’s the same blonde broad that sold me information on Natsumi’s killer. She’s amazing, even hardened yakuza veterans aren’t as cunning and cutthroat as her.”

Just like that though, Peko had let another woman interfere with the destiny of her young master’s life. Unable to help him in the present still, all she could do was dwell uselessly on the past. However, Peko was not currently living in a high stakes crime drama like one might see on TV. Rather, she was in the middle of a popular and highly marketable genre known as a death game, one with a comedic tone, so her dark and gritty flashback is not appreciated by this narrator.

Peko suddenly woke up from her deep sleep. She threw the blankets off of her, feeling her master was in danger, until she realized that she was in a cabin, on a beach front property, and nowhere near the Kuzuryuu compound. She had also woken up her roommate, who, until this point she had barely exchanged words with due to her quiet nature.  
  
In fact the two of them had one conversation which went like this.  
  
“...”  
  
“...”  
  
“...”

“....”  
  
“...”  
  
“...”  
  
At the end of that conversation, both Mukuro and Peko obtained a hope fragment on their E-pads, so apparently that had counted as deepening their bond with one another. She apologized in a low and polite voice, the kind she always used with her classmates and then went back into her bed.  
  
All she could do was lay awake in that same bed thinking. _A dream? A memory? No, nothing that horrible would ever happen to the young master, I would never allow it._ Kept up by those thoughts, when it came time finally for her alarm to go off and for her to meet up with Fuyuhiko at the late night meeting they all agreed to, she was rather spacy and lacking sleep.  
  
“Peko.”  
  
That voice called out to her again snapping her back to reality. She had been staring at the young master’s short, but firm, and strong back as usual, briefly zoning out as the two of them waited for the others to gather in the chandler beach house.

“Would you quit staring? Is it the eye? Yeah I know it’s creepy. Should I put it back on?” He asked, to which Peko gave no reply.  
  
She only lowered her head. “Of course not young master, your appearance is completely acceptable. I was just getting sleepy, my apologies.”  
  
“Calling me acceptable ain’t really a compliment either.” Fuyuhiko said, as he re-adjusted his eyepatch and pulled it back over his right eye.  
  
“Shall I tell you what I really think of your appearance then?” Peko asked.  
  
Immediately, Fuyuhiko flustered. “Nah, that ain’t necessary.” Wanting to change the subject he kicked at a nearby piece of furniture causing it to shake and spit out a monocoin onto the floor. “Where the hell is everybody though? I know it’s late but what are they dolling themselves up or something?”

A half hour later, Fuyuhiko learned the precise reason why everybody was late. It was because they had in fact all been dolling themselves up thinking they were coming to a completely different kind of party.  
  
Gundham Tanaka, Tsumiki Mikan, Nanami Chiaki, all members of the 77th class (except for Komaeda who he did not invite)  that he had invited to meet late night at the beach house arrived in their swimsuits.  
  
“Why the hell are you guys dressed like that?” Fuyuhiko snapped at them, trying not to stare at the girls in particular.  
  
“You said this was a swimming party… Did I equip the wrong clothes?” Nanami Chiaki wondered aloud.  
  
“While I always strive to stand out, there are certain times it pays to hide one’s draconic heritage and instead blend in as one of the crowd to pass for a normie.” Tanaka Gundham said gripping his face.

“I-I’m sorry, am I exposing too much of my body? Am I not exposing enough? Please I’ll do whatever you want, just don’t look at me. Wait, wait, no, stop looking away from me, look at me more!”  Mikan immediately started to panic.  
  
Fuyuhiko resisted the urge to roll his single remaining eye and instead looked behind him when he heard Peko returning to the room. He jumped back almost a full meter when she saw the revealing two piece swimsuit she had put on. “Peko, you too!”  
  
“I thought this was a swimming party too…” She said looking at her feet.

“Wait you’re not allowed to change clothes in here. Monokuma lectured us good about that yesterday when we were exploring the place, did you walk all the way back to your cabin to change?”  
  
“... Maybe... “  
  
“Anyway, why the hell would I be throwing a swimming party?! This is a eat or be eaten killing game, not some anime where we can have a filler episode and all forget our troubles while we go to the beach and laugh like idiots.”  
  
“Awe, but forgetting our troubles and laughing like idiots all together sounds fun…” Nanami said, her own gaze falling to her feet too.

  
“Well, we ain’t got time for that.” Fuyuhiko snapped at her before lowering his voice. “Sorry, Nanami. The swimming party was just an excuse so we could all meet together without people getting suspicious. Do I really look like the kind of guy that’s gonna call a swimming party just so I can ogle the girls in swimsuits.”  
  
“That’s okay if you’re that kind of guy, I like being ogled!” Mikan tried to reassure him.  
  
“The hell did I just say! I ain’t that kind of guy!” Fuyuhiko snapped again before trying to take deep breaths to calm down. In a significantly calmer voice he explained to everyone else, standing in front of them like a born leader. “I called us all together so we could confirm our memories. Does everybody else here remember being brainwashed into members of Ultimate Despair?”  
  
His only response was solemn nods from Peko, Gundham and Mikan. Chiaki looked at the floor in guilt.  
  
“Nobody else seems to remember. If they did they’d be throwing accusations at us being the ones who threw them into this damn murder game, and does anybody here know the hell how we got in here?”  
  
Nobody else spoke up, just as Fuyuhiko thought.  
  
“Then it’s best we all keep that a secret. We can’t do much about Komaeda but who even knows what he thinks or remembers…” Fuyuhiko crossed his arm thinking for a moment. “I was gonna call us all together after Peko and I were done scouting the first island for a good meeting spot, but who knew the second island was going to open up. For now we can’t trust anybody but our own class… and that game is gonna make things worse. Has anybody here played it?”

Chiaki’s expression immediately sunk. She puffed out her cheeks, looking like she was pouting. “I really wanted to play it, but Hinata said it was a bad idea and went straight home. Soon after that, Kurokami  said it was a rule that nobody was allowed to play that game, and that she’d beat up anybody who tried. She demonstrated by beating up Kumagawa Misogi again.”

“That’s fine, Nanami. You more than anyone else shouldn’t put yourself in harms way. We all already failed you once…” At an unpleasant past, they all seemed to look away from each other at once. “I had Peko distract her, while I played through the game. The actual game itself seems pointless, just another dumb meta joke on Monokuma’s part. It depicts a fictional class of Ultimate Talents, playing a killing game similar to this in an old high school building and eventually it’s revealed that Enoshima Junko is the mastermind. We already knew that Enoshima designed the first killing game, the one that never came intro fruition. So the real motive is this…”

He threw a paper folder on the table. “If you use a cheat on the menu you can unlock a demo for a sequel. There’s a character select screen featuring all of us, and naming us as members of Ultimate Despair. Needless to say if anybody gets to that menu it’s gonna be like painting giant red targets on our back. So we need to watch ourselves from now on, got it?”  
  
“Kuzuryuu! You and I truly our dragonkin. Despite the fact that we both perform the brooding loner, you’ve shown to truly care about your comrades.” Gundham said, nodding his head solemnly in a gesture of respect.  
  
“Like hell I do! It’s just… if any of you die the consequences are gonna bounce back to me! Yeah, that’s it! Don’t cause me any more trouble than you already do.” He said as he wiped a hand to dismiss them.  
  
As they walked out the beach house one by one, suddenly Fuyuhiko heard small and cute footsteps in the sand behind him. He turned around to see a black and white bear watching him. “The hell did you want perv? You shouldn’t peek at a bunch of teenagers in swim suits.” Not in the mood, Fuyuhiko immediately gave the bear a tongue lashing.  
  
Monokuma however merely grabbed his face and blushed like he was enjoying the insults. “A..as if a bear like myself would care about the human mating rituals. What do you call an animal that’s into humans… not a furry because that’s the other way around. It’s gotta be a fleshie, right?”  
  
“Would you shut the fuck up for once…” At that point, Fuyuhiko seemed like he was begging.  
  
“Still Fuyuhiko what a naughty boy you are.”  
  
“Please shut up.”  
  
“I didn’t mean it that way! Don’t interrupt your headmaster! Anyway, that’s the kind of stunning reveal you should really save for the end game. Are you sure about revealing it right now? Do you think you’re being a subversive storyteller by revealing a plot twist like that so early? Are you trying to take control of your own narrative?”  
  
“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” Fuyuhiko sighed, and poked the bear right on the forehead. “Junko, is it really you in there? You sound like her. Anyway, this is probably her fault anyway even if she’s not directly controlling you. Everything is always that blonde bitch’s fault.”  
  
“Now, now you can’t blame the entirety of the world’s problems on some blonde chick that’s just unreasonable. If it fills you with murderous rage towards one of your fellow classmates though go ahead.”  
  
“For once you might be right…” Fuyuhiko smirked. “Things would be so much better if she weren’t around.”  
  
Before Fuyuhiko could let any more of the kind of bloodlust he had always grown surrounded by in the mafia world show on his face, Chiaki immediately turned around and rushed to his side once more. “You can’t think like that. You guys turned into Ultimate Despairs because you were hurt, and you decided to hurt other people in return. Hurting more people won’t solve anything.”  
  
Fuyuhiko tried to relax his face. Considering he was usually grimacing at all times though, he did not look too relaxed by normal person standards. “You’re right, Nanami. Sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you, the bear’s just riling me up.”  
  
By that point however, Monokuma had broken into laughter in the background. “Upupupu. Puhuhu.”  
  
Fuyuhiko tried not to let the bear’s laugher grate on him too much. He looked back to Peko. “Hey, Peko I need you to follow Ikusaba tomorrow alright? She’s always been Enoshima’s lapdog, since her movement is limited right now if she tries something funny it’d be through her.”  
  
“Of course young master…” Peko said.  
  
“I’m gonna walk Nanami home so she makes it there safe, okay? You take care of yourself too.”  
  
Peko nodded again. After Fuyuhiko had left, Monokuma still lingered around them. “Your young master is ordering you around, just like it should be right? You guys shouldn’t hate despair so much, after all it was the despair of losing everything else that made your master start clinging so closely to you.”  
  
Peko ignored him though. She was rather good at shutting the rest of the world out when she needed to be. In the past she had been a friendly and open classmate, pretending simply to be a talented swordsman so she could blend in with her class and perform her job. Lately though she had resorted to her old self, cold, tactile, and Fuyuhiko’s shadow.  
  
Monokuma was speaking some version of the truth. This is how she always thought things should be. Yet, despite getting what she thought she wanted she could not be at ease either. She did not want to think too hard about it though and blamed the island instead.

 

♛

 

 _I used to believe the world was divided into two types of people._ _  
_ _Enoshima Junko my sister,_ _  
_ _And then everybody else._ _  
_ _The only world that mattered to me was the world my sister occupied._ _  
_ _Even though I had never experienced happiness, or good fortune in life,_ _  
_ _I never had any particular scorn for the rest of the world,_ _  
_ _Nor did I enjoy any thought of it’s destruction, or hurting others._ _  
_ _Yet, at the same time the rest of the world could all go die for all I cared._ _  
_ _But there was a boy who took my hand..._ _  
_ _My hand cold and wet from the countless lives I had taken from others._ _  
_ _He took that same hand in his and told me it was warm._ _  
_ _It was at that point I realized that boy likely had his own world._ _  
_ _Just like Enoshima Junko was my own individual world._ _  
_ _Everybody has their own world… probably._ _  
_ _That realization only increased my guilt though._ _  
_ _Even if I had been prevented from destroying the world at large._ _  
_ _I destroyed countless smaller worlds, thoughtlessly, without hesitation or mercy._ _  
_ _There’s not a single thing I can do to make up for what I’ve destroyed._ _  
_ _Yet, I can’t bring myself to die as redemption either._ _  
_ _Because I don’t want to disappear from the worlds of Kumagawa Misogi, Naegi Makoto… or even my sister even though she would probably enjoy it if I did._ _  
_ _All I can do is keep clinging onto those precious people._ _  
_ _I truly am useless._

Makoto was no longer around to give her guidance, and because of that Ikusaba Mukuro no longer trusted herself. She had also trusted Kumagawa Misogi to keep her in check if she did fall back again into her old ways, yet, she had been avoiding that boy as well as he was too painful to face right now.

Ikusaba Mukuro had also always known at the back of her own head that she would die one day by her sister’s hands. Sometimes she attempted to even force herself to enjoy the despair of that idea, that her bloodied corpse would have an affect on her, that her death might make her sister experience the greatest despair of her life.

However, she had never been able to enjoy despair the same way her sister did. Yet another way she could not measure up to Junko. When she tried, it was always masochistic and forced. She did not enjoy despair, and she did not enjoy losing others. Even though she knew one day, despair was a great fissure that Enoshima Junko walked the line of and would eventually swallow her whole, in her mind she could not picture her sister dying.  
  
She could not envision a world without Enoshima Junko. Even if she was no longer her entire world, her world consisted only of those close to her and Mukuro unable to divorce herself entirely of feelings from her sister no matter how many times Junko hurt her, still saw Junko as a significant portion of that world.

Losing Kumagawa and Junko at the same time meant losing two parts of that world. If ¼ of the earth suddenly disappeared, a lot of people would freak out. To Mukuro that was the same, she could not look at them walking around alive, smiling, arguing with each other like always when she had seen their bodies cold and comatose. So, the weak thing she was she avoided both of them.  
  
Yet despite running away with her tail between her legs like always, Mukuro could not fight her want to be useful. She instead turned to what her sister would call her natural enemy, Kirigiri Kyoko and began to cooperate with the other in secret. On this day again she was going to meet with her on the second island in order to further investigate any new leads that might be present on that island.  
  
However, she had noticed it immediately. While it was not strange that another of the students on this island would cross paths with her considering they were all still exploring, it was only the second day after all she had seen Pekoyama out of the corner of her eyes too many times for it to be a coincidence.  
  
Mukuro was trained in shaking off people who were tailing her, however that was harder to do on an island surrounded by open air. That left no choice but confronting the other. She walked the length of the island before finally deciding on Chandler Beach. It was a wide open terrain where neither of them would have an advantage and there happened to be nobody else on the beach at the moment.  
  
Mukuro turned suddenly and drew out a knife from the pocket of her skirt, rushing forward.  
  
At the same time Peko suddenly drew the bamboo sword from its holder around her back and moved as well.  
  
The clang of metal against metal sounded, as they both managed to get one stroke of their blades in, which only deflected against the other. They both finished their strikes on opposite sides from where they had been standing a moment ago and looked back.

“Why are you following me?” Mukuro growled in a low voice.  
  
“Someone asked me to keep my eyes peeled, specifically for what you were up to.”  
  
“Ah, you and he must be close then I take it. Adorable.”  
  
“Enough, tell me what’s going on.”  
  
Mukuro considered just telling her for the moment for the sake of avoiding a fight. However, there was one small problem. Ever since meeting Kumagawa Misogi Mukuro’s world had expanded, but it was not too wide. Just like her sister, she did not care too much about the fates of the Ultimate Despairs. They fell outside of the reach of her classmates, and her sister, and into the category of the rest of the world.  
  
Anyone outside of her class, she was still her normal cold self to. Except for Kumagawa Misogi, but he had endured great pains from her lashing out again and again in order to pull closer to her. This girl was somebody she barely had anything to do with. It was in Mukuro’s nature to prioritize Kirigiri Kyoko who wanted to keep their investigation between the two of them, and had trusted her despite having every reason not to.  
  
“I dunno…” Mukuro finally responded, flippantly. “Only thing I can say is I’m being stalked, and it pisses me off.” She rushed towards the other with her one knife in hand meeting that bamboo sword again strike for strike.  
  
As she cut again and again, the bamboo was reduced to splinters and the true sword hiding underneath was revealed as Peko remained steadfast, and kept knocking Mukuro’s multiple blows back.

  
“Hmmph, so you were hiding a sword all along,” Mukuro said as she watched serrated edges of her knife, slide along the cold steel of a katana slowly.  
  
“And you retrieved your knife from the first trial and kept it on yourself.”  
  
“You’ve done this before then.”  
  
“So have you.”  
  
“Something about this scene feels familiar…” She did hold any memories of her own as Kumagawa Misogi had wiped her mind along with everybody else’s when he made it so the destruction of Hope’s Peak Academy never happened. However, her sister had informed her of every detail with her usual thoroughness, and even now Mukuro trusted her sister’s accounts more than she did her own memories, or the entire rest of the world.  
  
“You’re right, it does feel familiar. If that’s the case I still haven’t paid you back for back then.” Peko remembered being in Ultimate Despair, though she had no clue how her current self existed then in this state of sanity. She also retained her memories leading up to it, and in her account of that day, the account Kumagawa Misogi created when he made it so Junko’s various manipulations on them never happened she remembered fighting with Mukuro while Nanami and Komaeda went to find Mikan, on that day she failed. Fuyuhiko had found her collapsed in the rain and was forced to carry her back.  
  
Is Kumagawa’s mind wipes and everybody’s differing memories getting confusing for you? Well, that’s why you shouldn’t casually rewrite reality with a minus. Take that as a lesson for the kids at home.

To use my brilliant narratorial powers to summarize, their were two different realities that each of them believed to be true. Kumagawa’s revised reality which abridged their descent into despair and made it so several actions of Junko never happened to begin with and instead relied on cheap devices like mind control to explain their actions, and there was the original and true reality which was far more complicated and Mukuro carried on her shoulders alone.  
  
The truth which never happened, and the lie which became reality. They faced off in that moment, as their swords clashed again. We might have reached too meta at this point so let’s get back to the teenagers trying to kill one another with pointy weapons.  
  
Mukuro finally changed the angle of her blow, striking upwards with her knife with a surge of unexpected strength that knocked Peko’s sword in the opposite direction. Usually, a sword would have the advantage in a knife fight, with increased range  and more strength behind blows.  
  
However, Ikusaba was not just limited in her talent to sword fighting or knife fighting, she was the Ultimate Soldier, and one step beyond that she was a misguided girl who only knew how to kill. Peko remembered clearly, the last time they fought Ikusaba Mukuro fought with such a ferocity that she was able to easily make up for the difference in their weapons.  
  
It was less like fighting a human being and more like fighting a storm. The wind could cut like any sword, and much more effectively, from any angle, and with the strength to topple great trees.  
  
“If the one you believe in orders it, you won’t associate with others, will you?” Mukuro asked her, as she struck forward again.  
  
“Nggh…” Peko parried her blow once more, realizing that she had been forced entirely on the defensive just like last time.  
  
“And when the one you believe in looks down on you with scorn, you try to enjoy it don't you?”

  
“That’s… not the case.” Peko hesitated for a moment. “Umm, sorry?”  
  
Mukuro hesitated too. She felt like she had made this fight awkward. It was only for a moment though, and in the next one they had already gotten back into the swing of things (lol puns) hacking away at one another.

Peko remembered Ikusaba Mukuro well even if they had never known each other as classmates. She was the other despair sister, the one who took meticulously care to make all of Junko’s elaborate plans come to fruition. The dog that was always at her sister’s side, ready to sink her teeth into anyone at her sister’s whims.  
  
Always by their side ever since they were young, willing to do anything to protect them, even kill, Peko was not so blind as she did not observe the similarities between her and the other girl. She knew what the difference was though, and it was the reason she was failing to do anything in a fight with this girl once again and only playing defense.  
  
Ikusaba Mukuro was a perfect tool to Enoshima Junko. She carried out all of her plans, perfectly, she had to, they had almost succeeded after all. Without hesitation, and without any regard for her own self, she always carried out her sister’s orders. She and her sister combined had stopped even the combined efforts of their entire class to thwart them.

As a person she might not have been much, Peko might even still hold a grudge against her, but as a tool she was perfect, and cut perfectly. A useless tool fighting against a useful one, the match should have already been decided just like last time.  
  
However, suddenly the tide turned in an unexpected way. Peko saw openings in what had previously been Mukuro’s perfect defense, and in that moment she realized something. She struck forward into one of those openings, cutting into Mukuro and her own pride at the same time.  
  
In a flash and a sound of clashing metal, Mukuro’s knife flew out of her hand and spun through the air landing in the sand below. Pekoyama leveled the edge of her sword right at Mukuro’s throat, not even giving her time to breathe let alone move. “You… you started going easy on me just then. Why?”  
  
“I… I really didn't want to kill you.” Mukuro said, looking up at her. Then a strange expression spread across Mukuro’s face, an awkward smile. “Sorry…”  
  
This girl, timid, bashful, apologizing, holding back, showing mercy, those traits were not present in the Mukuro that Peko had met before, the one that she had lost to. “Why… why are you looking down on me? Do you really think me so weak you’d kill me on accident.”  Peko repressed her emotion so often, that she had a serious weakness. When it flared up she lost control of herself. She raised her sword in the air, seeing red on the edge of her vision. “Fine then, I’ll force you to fight me for real.’ _There’s no way somebody as useful as you could be so weak._  
  
However, before she could ever swing her sword down suddenly something appeared in front of her right between them. “Is that an ogre?” Peko asked aloud, as the girl in question was moving so fast that even Peko’s trained eyes could not recognize her form.  
  
Suddenly, she was sent flying backwards and skidding through the sand. When she finally landed and stopped moving, she looked up to see Kurokami Medaka standing in between them, proud, fierce as ever. Pekoyama was good at assessing the strengths of others at a sight, and knew the useless her would never be able to stand up to such a force.  
  
However, the Mukuro she had once fought against she was not quite sure. Those two girls were both storms in their own right, who knows what would happen if they collided, probably nothing good for anybody else around them.  
  
At this moment though, the ruthless Mukuro she had known was currently cowering in front of Medaka, bowing her head and apologizing. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” She muttered again and again. “I wasn’t actually trying to kill anyone, I just wanted to scare her off from following me.”  
  
“What was so important that you couldn’t be followed.” Kurokami Medaka said, crossing her arms in judgement at the other.  
  
“Umm… I can’t say… Sorry…” Mukuro looked down timidly, putting her hands over her knees, and pulling on the fringes of her fabric skirt.  
  
Behind Kurokami Medaka, Junko lifted herself up from the sand. “Hey, genius girl. Do you think you could stop forgetting that we’re tied together, and I get dragged along whenever you decide to do an instant transmission like that.”  
  
“It’s called the Kurokami Phantom, not the instant transmission.”  
  
“No you see, I was referencing Dragon Ball which makes my name way cooler than the name you decided to give it..” Junko said, as she rubbed her forehead. “Ugh, I think I hit my head when I got dragged along.”  
  
“Junko!” Mukuro said immediately jumping to her feet to go attend to her sister. “I’m so sorry, it’s all my fault. Are you okay? Should we bring you the infirmary?”  
  
The moment her sister started to hover around her though, Junko swatted her away. Not the kind of playful swats that siblings might exchange when one gets too close, but rather she hit with full force. Mukuro was knocked back, but she still continued to hover around her sister.  
  
“You’re right this is your fault. You’re so incompetent you couldn’t even kill Pekoyama in time, and Kurokami got in the way, and now I’m stuck with this boring result.”  
  
“I’m sorry Junko, but I told you I don’t want to kill anyone anymore.”  
  
“Yeah, we’ll see how long that lasts. Not only are you incompetent you’re also stupid, spouting ‘I won’t kill anyone’ in a killing game. I can’t stand being within a kilometer of you, can you stay that far away from me from now on?”  
  
“But Junko… that’s bigger than this island. I’d have to stay in the water.”  
  
“Yeah, go drown. Hey, Monokuma! It doesn’t count as a murder if my sister drowns herself right?”  
  
At that Mukuro’s eyes suddenly widened. “D-don’t say that. Don’t talk about drowning.”

“Oi, what’s with the face? What’s got you all worried all of a sudden miss priss?”

Peko watched the entire scene unfold with wide eyes. She did not understand, not one bit. Mukuro always perfectly followed Enoshima Junko’s orders, her sister used her, the two of them cooperated, planned, and executed perfectly with one another. Yet, their relationship was like this.

 _How can she treat her like this..._ Peko did not understand. Being useful to her young master had always brought them closer together, or so she thought.

Her thoughts were interrupted though suddenly by Kurokami Medaka. “Do you have any more quarrel with her?” The girl asked in a serious tone of voice like always.  
  
“No, it was just a childish fight.” Pekoyama put back on her mask of a serious, student, and turned away to leave.  
  
“I’ll be confiscating this.” Medaka said as she picked up the sword.  
  
“Fine, have fun playing with it.” Pekoyama continued, turning around to leave.  
  
At that moment, Fuyuhiko suddenly showed up. “Pekoyama, what are you doing?”  
  
“I’m sorry young master I-”  
  
“Well, if you didn’t get hurt it’s no big deal.” Fuyuhiko suddenly grabbed her by the hand and dragged her away. Unlike Junko he had no harsh words for her, even though she had totally failed in keeping herself concealed, or finding out anything about Ikusaba Mukuro.  
  
Even though she had failed utterly, Fuyuhiko held her hand tightly, and his hand was warm in hers. For a moment she wondered if her hand was perhaps meant to hold anything else besides swords. A sweet thought to hold close to her chest, as the two of them walked along the beach together hand in hand.  
  
However, suddenly Fuyuhiko’s voice shattered the dreamlie mood she had entered. “Hey, Peko why are you walking so slow? Did you hurt one of your ankles or something?”  
  
“Ummm….”  
  
“Guess it can’t be helped then, come on.” He knelt down in front of her. He was much shorter than her, but his back was so broad, and it looked so strong. “Just this once, and if anybody catches you I’m going to drop you.”  
  
She knew he was not serious though. Even to someone useless like her, her young master would offer his back as many times as she needed. She too, could not help but take advantage of his offer. She loved how strong his back felt when she rested her head against it, and how warm she felt in turn.  
  
She climbed on his back and was carried all the way back to the first island. Peko clung to him, hating herself for taking advantage of his kindness once more, but also, enjoying this feeling too much to stop.

He dropped her in front of her cabin and did not say anything else. Peko too, wanted to ask if he was worried about her getting hurt and came to check on her and that was why he walked by the beach just then. However, neither of them were able to speak up in front of the other.

The next time they saw each other was dinner at the restaurant that night, and even then they pretended like the earlier day’s events never had happened.

 

♛

 

“Ugh! Mukuro why are you ignoring me? Do you hate me now?”

Ikusaba Mukuro had been fighting with her sister the entire time she was on this island. It was normal for siblings to fight, but despair sisters never fell into conflict like this. In the past the two of them had always wanted the same thing, to inflict Junko’s despair upon the world, or so Mukuro thought.  
  
“What did I even do to make you hate me so much?”  
  
In the past if they ever did disagree about something, Mukuro would immediately apologize and change her mind to placate her sister. It was rare she held onto any misgivings she might have for more than a few minutes. Yet, they were into their second week on this island and Mukuro still had not budged.  
  
“I mean besides trying to kill you several times. Well, even if you do hate me you’re a total hypocrite because you were totally cool with playing along to the whole despair sisters thing until five minutes ago.”  
  
It was not like she had found some kind of newfound confidence out of nowhere though, or that their relationship had changed much. Mukuro’s resistance was still as weak as ever and she found herself barely holding on. Even in dinner tonight, Junko had decided to sit next to her sister and pester her the whole time.

“Quit acting so high and mighty. Here’s a lesson for you, getting a boyfriend isn’t good character development. Being in a relationship won’t solve all your problems.”  
  
Kurokami Medaka did not interfere between the two, because she still did not understand their bond as sisters. She just watched them, as stoic and unmoving as a clear pool of water. Eventually though, trying to tune out all of Junko’s barbs made Mukruo hit a boiling point and she finally exploded.  
  
“Hey, say something already!”  
  
Well, she exploded in Mukuro’s way of exploding, which was to mutter underneath her breath “Stupid Junko…” and storm off again. It was neither standing up to her sister, nor was it giving in to her demands. She was just avoiding the problem once more.

Before Junko could go after her, suddenly Kumagawa Misogi appeared beind the girl. He grabbed at her pigtails and pulled on each of them. 『Your hair is so springy when it’s like this Junko, pigtails really are the best.』  
  
“Ow! What was that for, Misogi!?”

『You know what it’s for, don’t play dumb. If you’re going to bully Mukuro-chan then you’ll get bullied in return, an eye for an eye that’s what they always say.』  
  
“How could you possibly bully me? You’re so cruel considering I’m your-”

『Your what? Are you my girlfriend?』  
  
“No.”

『Well then, since you’re not my girlfriend I have no reason not to bully you. I’m quite a cruel boy you know, all the children on the playground hate me.』He reached forward with a terrifying looking hand, rough from the many times he had been hurt, and hurt others in return. All he did in the end though was pat her on the head. 『Are you starting to miss Mukuro-chan a little bit maybe?』  
  
“Shut up…” She muttered, starting to pout.

『Or perhaps you just missed, ‘the despair always mistreating your sister caused’  well either way, it’s normal for siblings to fight. You should try and just talk things out instead of always yelling at her and trying to force things.』

“Yeah, fat chance.” Junko mutterd again, crossing her arms and holding them by the elbows as she turned her head to look away from him.

『Alright, then I’ll go talk to her. Try not to get too jealous, okay?』Kumagawa said as he removed his hand from her head and went after where Mukuro had run to. At the same time Pekoyama lifted her head deciding to follow him to eavesdrop.  
  
She still wanted to follow Fuyuhiko’s original order after all.  
  
When she caught up to them, she saw Ikusaba Mukuro crouched with her hands hiding her face and her back turned to Kumagawa Misogi. Her shoulders were heavy, and the look about her looked like she was absolutely drowning in despair.

『Mukuro-chan...』  
  
“Just go away Misogi-chan… You don’t have to always stand up for me you know. It’s not worth it if you get in a fight with Junko over me.”

『Hmm, but I like fighting Junko. It’s fun to argue with her, it’s like sharpening my wit against hers. Besides, I think Junko likes it more too even though she pretends not too. She gets bored when things and people go her way too often, so it’s better to resist her at every opportunity.』  
  
“Yeah… I guess… I guess that’s why you understand her better than me.”

『Mukuro-chan, no way, no way. I’m just some dumb boy. I couldn’t possibly understand her better than her own sister. I don’t even know what family is like...』He reached out and tried to put a hand on her shoulder  
  
She did not resist him, but did not respond to him either. “Misogi-chan, if you want to understand what family is like, you should probably have picked literally any other pair of sisters in the whole world.”

『Huh? But, I like you two most of all.』Kumagawa said as he smiled like he always did, even to Peko who had only really fought Kumagawa once the time he came to foil them all as ultimate despair and screw them to the wall one by one, there was something that screamed danger about this guy and yet his smile seemed oddly innocent. 『I always have the most fun when I’m around you two? Ahhh, this is probably just me selfishly inserting myself into things again but, I want you two to get along so could you tell me what’s wrong?』  
  
“It’s… it’s too horrible to say.”

『Is it about the lover’s suicide that Junko and I committed?』

 _What?_ _  
_ _Are those two dead?_ _  
_ Peko thought. Her last memory as well was of December 24th.  
_That makes no sense they’re standing right there._

“You… you knew?”

『Yeah. Sorry about that, I remember a lot of things I’m not supposed to.』  
  
“Then why…Why didn’t you talk to me? Was it because it was my fault? Did I do something wrong? Is that why you jumped? Why… why am I never good enough? Why am I not interesting enough for Junko to keep on living with the world.” Mukuro who had been holding herself tightly together this entire time, came apart at the seams.

『I didn’t want you to blame me… because I didn’t jump with Junko, I failed to stop her and got dragged along with her. Sorry. I said I’d watch over your sister for you so you could go play around with Makoto but I failed.』  
  
Mukuro immediately turned around. She had been sinking underneath the surface, further and further in self blame a moment ago but when she noticed Kumagawa blame herself she immediately turned around, stood up on her heel, and stared Kumagawa straight in his face. “That’s not true. Misogi-chan you’ve done so much already, but, you’re stupid and oblivious so you never notice it.”

『Umm… thanks I guess?』Kumagawa hesitated, not knowing what to do when somebody got this close to him. 『Mukuro-chan, you’re right. You’re not good enough, and you’re useless on your own. That’s exactly why you should stop handling things on your own, okay? If you’re feeling down, instead of judging yourself talk to me. I think I can give a more accurate assessment of yourself than either you or Junko can. Consider me a neutral third party, selfishly inserting myself into the middle of your relationship okay? 』  
  
Kumagawa smiled at her still even when they were this close. Suddenly, the unexpected happened and she suddenly threw her arms around him. It was a brief, and awkward hug, that she immediately let go of.  
  
“Don’t die Misogi-chan. If you die again I really won’t forgive you.”

Kumagawa was blushing at the unexpected contact, but suddenly his face changed and he scratched at the back of his head like he really was a carefree idiot like Zenkichi.『You know me,  I’ll keep living no matter what even if I die.』

Behind them, Hitoyoshi Zenkichi suddenly spoke up. “Can I take these headphones off now?”

『No Zenkichi-chan, we’re having a moment stop eavesdropping! I’m gonna tell Medaka-chan how nosy you are, she’ll think you’re a terrible gossip!』  
  
“No, please don’t!”

Behind them, Peko decided to stop eavesdropping as well, her thoughts even more confused. _How can Kumagawa Misogi see value in useless things? How can Ikusaba Mukuro see herself as useless?_

Questions with no answer, and Peko herself would never ask them to another human being, even to the young master who she valued so much, and because of that Peko’s world remained as narrow as ever.

 

♛

  
Walking along she just happened to cross paths with Hinata Hajime and Komaeda Nagito who were both hanging around outside of their respective cabins, looking bored out of their minds and linked by a single chain.  
  
“I can’t believe we couldn’t go to the second island so all we did was sit around all day. I’m never going to be useful at this rate, and I didn’t even get to spend time with Chiaki.” Hinata moaned as he lay with his back on the boardwalk.  
  
Next to him Komaeda had his limbs spread out like a star fish. “There was a fight on the second island today and I didn’t even get to see it, I missed an amazing clash of talent.”  
  
“That’s what you’re worried about? You shouldn’t be excited to see someone fighting you should be concerned! This isn’t a shonen anime, fighting is wrong!”

Peko put on the friendly face she always did around her classmates, and knelt down to address the two boys. “Do you two mind if I hang out with you for a little while?”  
  
“Please! I’d love to get to know another hope’s peak student.” Hinata said excitedly.  
“Please! I’d love the chance to witness your talent.” Komaeda said excitedly.  
  
“Ah, you two are kind of similiar.”  
  
“Please don’t compare me to that guy.” Hinata said dejected.  
“Please don’t compare trash like me to the wonderful Hinata-kun.” Komaeda said dejected.  
  
“Alright, then let’s pass the time together.” She said as she sat next to them on the board walk. Of course, Peko was quiet by nature and perfectly content not to say anything. In the distance she could hear the sounds of the waves crashing against the shore.

 _Wow… it’s more entertaining than I thought just listening to the waves going back and forth. It’d probably be nice to listen to them if I was closer to the water, like on a boat or something. No wait! It’s cool that we’re hanging out but we’re not really talking about anything._ Hinata’s thoughts swelled, he was mostly trapped in his own head as usual. He wanted to talk so desperately so suddenly, he blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “Hey Peko, do you like Kendo?”  
  
“Most adult men don’t stand a chance against her in swordsmanship of course she likes Kendo.” Komaeda said, speaking only of her talent once more. He did not really comprehend that somebody could dislike their talent, including him who was only blessed with good luck. Which of course he liked, he had to, it was the only thing he had.  
  
“...Yes.” Peko finally said after thinking about it for a little bit.

 _This conversation isn’t progressing and Komaeda isn’t helping._ “Ummm…. Is your house a kendo dojo?”  
  
“...Sort of.”  
  
“S-sort of?” Hinata said, demonstrating his true talent by repeating back what she said in the form of a question.  
  
“Is there something wrong with that?”  
  
“N-no… I was just wondering.” He balled his fist up and rested his chin against it staring down at his hand. _Peko’s stare is really intense.. It might be best if I change the subject. Um, let’s see… A topic that probably won’t offend her too much… maybe I should ask komaeda… No he’s probably going to say something guaranteed to piss her off._ “Ah, I know! Peko, what level are you?”

“...Are you talking about my kendo level? I don’t have one.”

  
“Huh?”  
  
“Dojo trainees typically earn levels corresponding to their years of training. However, I have no need for that.”  
  
“Why…? Don’t people normally aim for that kind of advancement?”  
  
“I have no such aim. My destination has already been decided. Protect who I must protect, cut who I must cut. That alone is the original purpose of the sword. Wielding a blade in its truest sense in my aim… That is my reason for existing. To achieve that… I have no use whatsoever for meaningless levels determined by arbitrary rules.” Despite everything she had seen today, Peko knew that the way she had lived so far was not wrong. It had to be, it was the only way she could continue to justify holding onto her sword.  
  
“See Hinata-kun… Pekoyama-san isn’t just a typical Kendo athlete. She truly is the Ultimate Swordsman… How could you ask such a foolish question about levels?” Komaeda said, raising his head and saying something eerily similar to Hinata’s own self deprecating thoughts.  
  
“I… I really don’t know much about Kendo. But, I think you’re really cool Pekoyama. You’re kind of like a samurai.”

  
Peko hesitated. He was praising her, almost like calling her useful. “R-really cool? You say such strange things…! N-no one has ever said that to me before. Um… wel….th-thank… nevermind.”  She turned away unable to decipher how she was feeling at this moment and not wanting to let Hinata see the confusion on her face.

 _She seems… very awkward._ Hinata assessed. Though, he of all people should be talking.  
  
“However… because of the path I’ve chosen, there are things I’ve lost as well. Warm, irreplaceable things…”  
  
“WHat did you lose…?”  
  
“...Fluffiness.”  
  
“Fluffiness…?”  
  
“There are things that are warm, fluffy, and soft… The cat that came to to visit the dojo, my childhood friend’s dog, and even the finch I had as a pet… But all animals can sense my menacing presence and run away from me. I just… want to touch their sft and fluffy feathers to my heart’s content…” _Why am I talking about something so stupid._ _  
_ _  
_ “I-I see.. That’s really painful.”  
  
Just then, Hitoyoshi Zenkichi was walking by dragging Kumagawa Misogi along as well from the chain they were conencted. He happened to overhear, and barged into their conversation with a friendly smile. “Whoa, Medaka-chan has the exact same problem. Are you guys trying to figure out a way to fix it.”

『Junkois like that too, all the other cats are afraid of her. That's probably just because she's the alpha cat.』  
  
"There's no such thing as an alpha cat..." Zenkichi said turning his head around.   
  
『Yes there is, her name is Enoshima Junko.』  
  
Hinata suddenyl spoke up. “...Oh, then what about asking Gundham? He might be able to help both of you out, he probably knows a way to keep animals from running away from you.”  
  
“I see… You do have a point.” Peko said, raising her finger in front of her face and touching her cheek with it as she thought. _Why am I considering asking them for help?_ _  
_

Zenkichi suddenly perked up remembering something. “Oh, we could ask Naze as well. She bred animals that were so strong they weren’t scared of Medaka-chan at all. I’m sure she could figure out some kind of trick to help with you.”  
  
“Yes… that sounds nie.” Peko suddenly bowed her head. “Thank you for your advice. If you’d like… please come to talk to me again. Good bye.”  She excused herself as fast as she could, while confusing thoughts swirled in her head.  
  
Hinata himself watched her go. _Peko walked off in a hurry. She really must be desperate to touch something fluffy. Hmm… next time I might be able to talk to her normally._ _  
_ _  
_ In Peko’s head she still remembered the words Mukuro shouted at her during her fight. If the one she believed in ordered it, she would definitely cut off her interactions with everybody else. _I’d be fine, of a world consisting entirely of just me and the young master. He’s the only one I care about being useful to._ _  
_ _  
_ _So why…_ _  
_ _Why when I was chatting so pleasantly back there with everyone, why did I want to smile along with them?_

Some questions were too hard for useless girls to answer, especially all on their own.


	10. My Impurest Heart for You (3 Love x Violence)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanitas no Carte reference this chapter.

It had been so many days since their captor had so kindly provided them with a motivation. Yet, those children had decided collectively not to play the video game that had been provided and decided to try enjoying an uneasy peace instead.   
  
Clearly they were not appreciating the hard work of their captor who put a lot of effort into creating this exciting, heart pounding killing game for them and would rather pretend they were in a dating sim than a killing game by spending their free time simply hanging out with one another and developing their relationships. Proper studious students of their head master would have been spending their freetime plotting murders instead.   
  
There was one individual however who despite his best efforts would never know peace. The minus that crawled through chaos, Kumagawa Misogi. It followed him wherever he went, and his very presence drew those he loved into his own misfortune. At the moment he sat against a tree. He tried to let his eyes rest, only for a soft voice on the other side of the tree to continue to pester him.

“Kumagawa-kun, we should share what we know since we can’t meet in your dream anymore,” Ajimu whispered.  
『Dunno.』  
“We could talk about the next motivation....”

『Whatever you think is best.』  
“Listen Kumagawa-kun, don’t just pretend to listen. We need to talk about this.”

『You listen!』  
『There’s no such thing as stability for me, my life is a raging river.』  
『I don’t fight it!』  
『Going against the flow just means struggling with all your might just to stay afloat』  
『One day you’re too tired to paddle, and you get pulled under.』  
『All your efforts became nothing, and now you’re dead. The end. What despair.』  
『Going with the flow is where it’s at, and that’s the Bear River way to live.』

Kumagawa had suddenly stood up to lecture at Ajimu Najimi his former vice president, pointing at her dramatically as he struck a different pose with each line of his impromptu monologue. A moment later, he fell back on his behind and leaned against the side of the tree.  
  
“That whole thing was kind of deep in a stupid way,” Zenkichi, who was still handcuffed to Kumagawa and had been leaning against the opposite side of the tree standing up commented as he scratched the back of his head.  
  
“It was definitely stupid,” Ajimu said as her expression fell. She gave up and let her head slide down all the way until it landed on one side of his lap. “If you’re going to be useless as usual then just sit there and do nothing so I can use you as a headrest. Junko’s stuffed bear is a big meanie and he keeps beating me up.”

Her face was still covered in bandages from Monokuma’s random, impromptu beatings. Despite the fact that there were no longer screws in her body, Ajimu looked as miserable and unfortunate as when she had been sealed away by 『Book Maker』. Even the cute ribbons that had been used to tie back her hair were confiscated, and replaced with rabbit clips which caused her long reddish brown hair to fall in every direction when she flopped her head on Kumagawa’s lap.

『Ah! I thought you hated having a life that was too easy, and having too many abilities. Don’t you think you could have a little fun on this island, pretending to be a normal student?』  
  
“For the last time, Kumagawa-kun I hate that cliche of ‘I secretly wish I had a normal life all along.’ Ajimu Najimi hummed as she leaned against his leg.  
  
『I know, I know. It’s why we could never become family, vice president Ajimu-san.』Despite saying something so sad, Kumagawa was still smiling the same as ever. 『Still, even though I hated you appearing to mock me in my dreams it’s a little bit lonely having dreams of empty classrooms.』  
  
“I feel like I’m eavesdropping on an intimate moment…” Zenkichi lamented on the other side of the tree.

『Yep! Go die please, Zenkichi-chan.』Kumagawa said turning his head to face him with an entirely pleasant expression still on his face.  
  
“Now, that’s a little bit mean,” Zenkichi said.  
  
Ajimu looked to one boy, and then the other. “You guys are getting along better now, considering how much trouble you caused me in the past.”

『No way, we still hate each other.』  
  
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about but… Kumagawa does seem like he’s changed a little bit. There was something about him that always irked me in the past but I can’t feel it at all.”

“You’re right, Hitoyoshi-kun something about him has changed.”

『No way, I’d never change. I’ll be miserable forever, that’s kind of my thing. I like this terrible personality of mine too much to change.』  
  
“Yep, guess I still hate him then.” Zenkichi said in resignation.  
  
At that moment whatever banter between the three was suddenly cut off by the introduction of a loud presence that suddenly demanded she be the center of attention. Enoshima Junko stomped from across the beach, and immediately laid down her head on the opposite side of Kumagawa’s lap.  
  
“Hey, Misogi I didn’t know you let sociopath girls who think they’re better than everyone rest on your lap.” Junko said immediately crossing her arms, and glancing back with a poisonous red eyed glare at Ajimu who was sitting on the other side of his lap.

『What are you talking about, I let you rest on my lap all the time.』  
  
“Well whatever, this lap belongs to me anyway and I say she’s not allowed on my lap so kick her off.” Junko immediately spat fire back at him.  
  
Ajimu sitting on the other side of his lap merely closed her eyes and shut out the other. “I keep telling you to share your toys, Junko-chan.”  
  
“No, I shouldn’t have to share my things, because they’re mine. M - I - N - E! Do you get the concept there? Not yours, mine?”

“So, what you’re feeling right now is that jealousy?”  
  
“No, it’s not wanting my things to be touched, because… mine! It’s completely different.”

While the two fought on opposite sides of his lap, Kumagawa’s smile grew increasingly awkward as he completely lacked the social skills to deal with this situation.  
  
In the distance, Hajime still bored from his decision to strand himself on the first island eavesdropped on the conversation. The moment he saw the two girls begin to fight over somebody like Kumagawa his face dropped into an expression of despair worse than anything in the killing game so far had provoked in him. Hinata remembered the two times he had walked in on Kumagawa as well. “Seriously, how does a guy like that have two girls fighting to lay down in his lap when I’ve never even touched a boob…”  
  
“You should never give up hope, Hinata-kun…” Komaeda said, lounging on the boardwalk next to him.  
  
“Yeah, sure you’re saying something that sounds encouraging and optimistic now but in a few moments you’re going to say something horrifying and incredibly morbid I’m onto your game.”  
  
“Hinata-kun why are you always so angry at me? Are you scared and just trying to use your anger to hide it?”  
  
“Shut up... “  
  
“If that’s the case you don’t need to be afraid of me. After all, I’m someone who only possesses the worthless talent of luck, and I’d gladly die for you if you asked me.”  
  
“See, there’s your macabre side of you again. It’s because you keep saying shit like that that I hate you.”  
  
“Well, even if you hate me I’ll keep on admiring you.”

Hinata glared at Komaeda for a moment. He considered chewing off his own arm to escape the chains that linked the two of them, like a coyote trapped in a bear trap but decided that was too stupid even for someone of his Rank E intelligence. “I can’t believe I didn’t get to go to the swimming party either, and I missed out on seeing Nanami in a swimsuit.”  
  
“Swimming would be bad idea while we’re like this. There are lots of ways that could be dangerous. A random storm could start out of nowhere, or a sudden current could drag both of us out to sea.” Komaeda started to list off dangerous possibilities.  
  
However, Hinata did not understand why he thought that way. He assumed it was just part of his usual pessimism. “What are you talking about…?”  
  
“I can’t go swimming with you, but I don't mind if you just want to see me naked.”

“You don’t mind…Wait! How the heck did we start talking about this!?” Hinata snapped again, his voice raising until it cracked.  
  
He was speaking loudly enough that in the distance, Enoshima Junko spotted him with her yes that caught onto every small detail. Kumagawa had jumped up to avoid getting caught in between one of Junko and Ajimu’s fights once more.  
  
As he was just standing there awkwardly unsure of what to do however, Junko suddenly jumped up again. As usual her brilliant shining eyes, sparkled with evil intent. She wrapped Kumagawa in a hug from behind being unusually affectionate.

“You know what I like about you, Misogi? You’re always trying your best to smile.”

『Junko that’s what you hate about me the most you literally said that last ni-』

While she was embracing him cutely from behind, she made sure to caress his cheek lightly with one of her hands, and then forcefully clap a hand over his mouth. “Shut up! And also, how messy your hair is. I just love running my fingers through those tangles.” With her free hand, she  ran her fingers through the strands of his shaggy black hair.

『My hair’s not that messy, and every time you touch it you call it gross so...』Kumagawa batted his eyes, suddenly looking like a bashful girl between the two of them.  
  
Her hand let go of his hair, and moved to the side of his face her fingers trying to decide between whether she should tenderly caress him, or grip the side of his face with her nails. She was the kind of person who could switch between holding him one way or the other in a moment. She leaned forward then, resting her chin in the crevasse of his neck and her cheek against his cheek. “Also I think it’s hot when you put yourself down all the time.”

『Okay, that one’s probably true.』Kumagawa said, averting his eyes to the side, his cheek reddening at the point of contact with Junko. He could not really escape either as her hand was on is other cheek holding him in place.  
  
Her loud and enthusiastic praise of him done in her usual faux energetic girl voice suddnely died down into a harsh whisper directly in his ear. “Misogi, I’m just using you as a prop right now so just shut up okay? At this rate even someone as stupid as Hinata-senpai is going to figure out my game.”

『Your game? You weren’t just complimenting me?』

“Oh, god you know what I guess there was no risk of that after all. You’re such an idiot, Misogi.”

『Ah, you went back to talking to me like you normally do. I like the normal you better, I was really weirded out for a second there.』Kumagawa said relaxing as he leaned against her for a moment.  
  
In the background, Medaka had gone to stand next to Zenkichi. She continued her observation of the other girl still trying to figure out how Enoshima Junko could be considered human. “Hey, Zenkichi why do those two have their hands all over each other all of a sudden? Are they just fighting again?”  
  
Zenkichi immediately felt protective of Medaka’s innocence. “Yeah, something like that…”

However, Hinata who had been watching the two of them to avoid talking with Komaeda suddenly found himself feeling strange again. He looked down at his legs and dangling over the side of the boardwalk he was sitting on its edge, and then crossed one over the other.  
  
Before he could verbalize the awkward feelings in his head, Komaeda somehow spoke his thoughts again. “Hey they both look like they’re having fun.”

“Don’t you hate them both?” Hinata’s voice cracked again, but he blamed the blistering heat rather than any emotion he felt.  
  
“I could never hate Enoshima-san, she’s an ultimate, but yeah. They still look like they’re having fun.”

“Huuuh?” Hinata’s voice cracked even more, somehow.  
  
However, Kumagawa had almost squirmed out of Junko’s snakelike embrace. “God, Misogi hold still. Komaeda-senpai and Hinata-senpai are watching I’m trying to make Mr. Rando Protag all flustered.”

『It’s okay, you can say you like touching me like this Junko, I won’t tell anyone. 』  
  
“First of all? You literally have told everyone already. Second of all, if I wasn’t trying to get Hinata-senpai all flustered you’d already be eating dirt.”

『Oh, I get it. Hajime-chan is in the sexual tension stage of his relationship. Remember when we were like that Junko?』  
  
“Uh, no because that never happened.”

『But even oblivious Medaka-chan thinks we’re a couple, besides we had s-』  
  
At that moment Junko suddenly pushed him away and Kumagawa really was eating sand. She put a foot over his back while he was in the dirt, and then cupped her hands over her mouth. “Hey, Monokuma. If I throw Kumagawa-kun in the ocean, but he’s the idiot who drowns himself what happens at the trial?”

Whatever strange tension was building up in his body disappeared as Hinata Hajime exhaled. “Nevermind, suddenly for some reason to me being in a killing game seems preferable to any kind of teenage romance.” It was the smartest thing Hinata was ever going to say in his life.

 

♛

 

When Kumagawa and Zenkichi had cleared out to hang out on another part of the island, and Hinata in his restlessness had gone to pace the length of the island dragging Komaeda with him only then did Ajimu speak up.

  
<“Do you speak enough english to understand me?”>  
  
<“Huh? How did you know I’d be able to do that.”>  
  
<”I figured you’d probably watched enough anime or visual novels that use random english to pick up a good chunk of the language.”>  
  
Junko had no retort for that accusation. <”Hey, shut up…I had really cool reasons for playing all that nerd shit like.. I was bored.”>  
  
<”We need to talk like this so Medaka-chan can’t overhear us.”>  
  
“<How does genius girl not know english?”>  
  
“<She doesn’t know anything unless others bother to teach her it.>”  
  
“<Well that explains how she can be so dumb all the time. So, what are we going to trash her behind her back and then go ‘upupupu nothing’ when she asks us what we’re talking about because I’ve done that to Mukuro all the time.”>  
  
“<No, I’m going to give you a hint about this round’s motive.”>  
  
“<Hang on, isn’t your whole thing being neutral? Is it too much to ask that we keep acting in character, that’d be like me walking around and suddenly shouting about hope.”>

“<Well. It’s sort of my fault that motive came into being in the first place. Haven’t you wondered how Monokuma could make a visual novel summary of the first killing game, if that killing game never occured? It’s because I myself once looked into a possible future where you and Kumagawa never met and that killing game occured and the mastermind accessed that memory of mine.”>  
  
“<So, what you’re saying is you totally know this is a simulation too?”>  
  
“<Don’t be silly, of course reality is real. If you keep saying that out loud Kumagawa-kun is going to tear your pretty little face off. What I’m saying is quite a fair amount of people in this game already believe you to be the mastermind, and that Dangan Ronpa game will only solidify that belief in their minds.”>  
  
“<You’re warning me so I can survive? I didn’t know you cared.”>  
  
“<If I have to be trapped living a boring existence where I’m never allowed to truly live, then I promise you I’ll ruthlessly force you to live as well.”>

“<Oooh, was that a threat? I’d be scared if you were even remotely in my league.>” Junko hissed back at her.

However, by that point Kurokami Medaka lost her patience at simply observing. As virtuous as she was, or at least pretended to be, she got bored rather easily too. “Hey you two what are you talking about? You’re not gossiping about me behind my back are you?”

 _Huh? She actually worries about those kinds of things?_ Junko added it to her list of ways to torment Medaka. The only way she was going to keep herself from going mad from boredom for as long as they were chained together was continually picking away at Medaka’s ego and confidence as a personal challenge. It was rare she got the opportunity to try breaking somebody so strong willed. Just like Komaeda wanted to see a strong hope overcome despair, Junko longed to see a strong despair devour a strong hope.  
  
While she was thinking about all sorts of things as usual it was Ajiu who spoke up first.  “No, we were just talking about boys.”

“Ah! So, you were having normal girl talk? Let me join in too!” Medaka said, excitedly sitting down next to the two of them.

 _Weird. Is she trying to be more normal? Why would she want to do that that’s like trying to be more boring._ Junko felt disappointment again as she was constantly feeling for the others around her. It was more often people betrayed her expectations by disappointing her, than they did by exceeding her expectations, and she did not feel any despair from disappointment. It was just bleh.  
  
“Sure, sure. Junko was just asking me for advice after that disastrous attempt at flirting.” Ajimu said, looking like the responsible older student for once.  
  
“Hey! What do you even know about love, you’re not even human!” Love was the last thing Junko cared about, but she was rather prideful and could not stand to be insulted in any way.  
  
“I might not know anything about love, after all to me love and hate are the same thing. However, I know quite a bit about Kumagawa-kun, moreso than you in fact.”  
  
“Hey, he’s my toy, I know the most about him!”

“No, you can’t really understand him because the two of you are fundamentally different.” Just then, Kumagawa and Zenkichi happened to be walking by again though their destination was unknown. Junko’s eyes lingered on his back as he walked away, that back of his that always seemed to be holding back pain. “You’ve always been loved, Junko. Since you were young, people have showered you in love, now it’s their tendency to love you completely obsessively, to worship you, and you have to do very little if anything to get that love. It’s because of that love is entirely worthless to you. None of that love will reach you. it’s like you’re above everything.”

Junko gave a self satisfied smile. “Well, it’s only natural that I’m worshipped. I’m like a goddess of despair and I attract followers, and also I’m me. Have you met me?”

“Yes, I have and it’s caused me nothing but headaches. For Kumagawa-kun though he’s never been loved. He has no concept of love. Even if someone were to show it to him now, it’d never reach him. He’s like one of those fish that lives deep underwater where there’s no light and slowly loses their eyes after a few generations. He’s far too below everything to recognize love.”  
  
“So, what’s your point? Do you just gotta wax philosophically about theme once a day or a chip in your head explodes.”  
  
It was then Medaka spoke up again joining in the conversation. “Wait, Enoshima-san. You said once that Kumagawa and I were idiots in the same way, what do you mean by that?”

“I mean, you both have that dumb philosophy about valuing both your enemies and your allies. It’s because of that you both are way too accepting that you always end up getting hurt, and I say this as somebody who likes seeing you get hurt.”

Ajimu interrupted again. “So, have you thought about why it is that way for both of them? Fundamentally, both Kumagawa-kun and Medaka-chan want to be accepted by others for who they are, but they go about it by accepting others first to a ridiculous extent. It’s kind of like that motivation of ‘I’ll be nice to others and praise them, because secretly I just want to be praised by them and for them to be nice to me’.” Ajimu’s expression darkened for a moment as her bangs fell over her sharp eyes. “Well, it’s because they both fundamentally believe they can’t be loved, that they jump through such hoopes anyway.”  
  
“Is that what I…” Medaka hesitated for a moment.  
  
“You yourself said that your first love ended when you were two years old and nobody has loved you since.”  
  
“...” Medaka sunk into serious contemplation again. Junko noted she looked like she had the concentration of a monk at the moment and that even someone of her caliber might find it hard to draw Medaka out of such a state.  
  
“So why are you babbling again?”

“I told you I was giving you advice. If you want to hurt Kumagawa-kun, then treating him like a toy, or this like a game won’t do anything to him, because to him this is as much of a game as it is to you. He doesn’t expect to be loved.  That’s why when there is too much love, then to him it becomes an act of cruel violence. If this situation were to turn out like this, that’d actually be what I’d prefer hee hee…”  
  
“Tch…” Junko found herself clicking her teeth together suddenly without really knowing why. “That bossy attitude of yours, is why I hate you so much Ajimu-san.”  
  
“Oh, Junko-chan you’re so cute when you’re being hypocritical.” Ajimu said, smiling pleasantly at her as if she really was just an older classmate teasing her.

 

♛

 

“Enoshima Junko, don’t you think you should take responsibility for yourself for once instead of always forcing others to do things for you?” Kurokami Medaka said as she sat on the edge of a bed a few feet away from Junko.  
  
She watched as Junko handed off an entire bin of laundry to Kumagawa. Kumagawa holding the bin simply smiled at Medaka. 『Don’t be too harsh on her, Junko’s always had Mukuro-chan or somebody else waiting on her hand and foot so she’s oblivious on stuff like this.』  
  
“Hey, I could totally do this stuff, because I’m awesome at everything I do,  if I wanted it’s just too boring for me. Anyway, senpai here don’t forget the ble-yack. Make sure you swallow some too while you’re at it..” Junko said, as she tossed him the bleach as well.

『Okay, now I know you’re joking around there’s no way you don’t know what bleach is.』

“Hmm, what could you possibly be referring to, Misogi?”

『There’s no way your hair got that color on it’s own.』  
  
“Yes, it did.”

『Junko, I saw you when your hair was red.』

“It was not red it was strawberry blonde.”

Suddenly, coming in the middle of the bickering two of them was Hitoyoshi Zenkichi holding another basket of laundry over his shoulder. “Yo, Medaka-chan is this all you need cleaned?”

  
Junko immediately turned her head all around like an owl, or perhaps that girl in the exorcist. “You hypocrite! You were getting all high and mighty a moment ago.”  
  
It was Zenkichi who stood up for Medaka as always. “Medaka-chan doesn’t know how to do laundry because my mom always took care of it when she was living alone, and before that she lived in a mansion filled with servants so nobody bothered to show her.”

“Hmmph, spoiled princess.” Junko said, crossing her arms.

『You’re the last person on earth who should complain about things being too easy for others, Diva of Despair.』

“Don’t look at Medaka’s laundry by the way, or your eyeballs are mine. I have a nice spoon for them.”

『There’s no way, your panties are the only one for me Junko!』

“Okay, now you just sound like a stalker.”

『If I’m your stalker than I have incredibly poor taste in people to stalk.』Kumagawa said, before blowing Junko a kiss as he turned around to leave. Junko responded of course by gagging and sticking her tongue out.

As the two boys walked together to the floor of the hotel which dealt with laundry, conversation immediately died between the two of them. They did not fight as much or as openly as Medaka and Junko, or even Komaeda and Hinata, but that did not mean they got along either.

“So uh… it’s nice that the hotel provides laundry services…” Zenkichi muttered.

『Yeah. I kept asking Monokuma how are clothes were getting washed, and he got mad and showed me where the laundry was finally.』  
  
“Oh, really huh…”  
  
『Yep.』

“...”

『...』

“Kind of hard to talk when you’ve got nothing in common, huh?”

『Yeo. Oh, I know. You know that in the monomono machine sometimes there are expensive wines?』  
  
“Oh, really. You’re old enough to drink aren’t you?”

『Yep! The round that you finally get offed in the killing game, I’ll open an expensive bottle in celebration. That’s how sick of you I am.』  
  
“I remember that you still don’t know how to swim Kumagawa, it’s a shame you haven’t drowned yet.”

『Now you’re just bragging about how much better you are then me again. I can’t stand you.』  
  
“I hate everything about you, too.”

『The only thing I like about you, maybe, is the way you wear a jersey under your uniform.』

“Wait, you really think that’s cool?”

『That was a lie, of course.』  
  
Zenkichi kicked at Kumagawa’s head only for Kumagawa to jump suddenly and dodge out of the way straining the chain between them to its limits. 『Give it up, I’m familiar with your attacks, your timing, your thrusts. You’ve barely changed since middle school. 』

“You’re the one who should talk about not changing at all.” Zenkichi said as he put the laundry basket down.  
  
The two of them were comfortable enough in their mutual hatred to watch the laundry together. Well, they did not really have a choice either way being handcuffed together. It was Kumagawa who spoke up again when he got bored of watching clothes tumble back and forth. 『I can think of one more thing we have in common. We both have a taste for troublesome woman.』  
  
“Pfffffft, man you’ve got it way worse than me.” Zenkichi scratched at the back of his head. “You know, I’m sure if you pursued literally anybody else guy or girl with the same dogged determination that you do Junko, you’d actually be able to find happiness.”

『Hmmm?』Kumagawa tilted his head back at an odd angle looking genuinely confused. 『But, I don’t love just anybody else. I love Junko. Besides, knowing me I wasn’t going to be happy either way, but Junko has a little bit more fun when she’s around me don’t you think?』  
  
“That’s hardly a good thing, considering what that girl’s fun is…” Zenkichi said, his scratching slowing down as he grabbed the side of his face instead. “I still don’t get what you see in her.”

『Hey, Zenkichi-chan can you hear me out? I’m tired of talking about this.』Kumagawa said, as he jumped onto the washing machine and sat down.  
  
Zenkichi’s expression went blank. “Eh, it’s fine. Please ask anything you want, Kumagawa.”

『Why don’t you, at this instant, as quickly as you can confess to Medaka-chan? Didn’t you work so hard last arc so you could confess to her.』Kumagawa crossed his legs, leaning back casually as he gestured openly with his hands.  
  
“..Eh, ahah, that’s umm… You see, Kumagawa-senpai. The me right now lost the right to stand next to Medaka-chan when I failed Shiranui and Komaeda, so… I first need to make up for my own weakness-”

『Zenkichi-chan, what if you’re the one who dies this round?』Kumagawa suddenly jumped in the air, holding both of his hands out. His smile twisted into the worst kind of sneer, both of his eyes looking down on Zenkichi as if he were nothing. An expression that would not have been out of place on Ajimu Najimi’s face.

『 I’m not talking about you, you’re just an insignificant being. I’m asking what if Medaka-chan dies. If that happens are you going to confess to a grave? What does Shiranui have anything to do with this, no matter what you do from now on she’ll stay dead. She doesn’t care if you make it up to her for your failure or not. Once you become equal to a grave are you going to live with a grave for the rest of your life? Are you playing this killing game like some kind of game? A dating sim? One where you increase your love points and trigger flags and clear events. Then, I’ll give you my perfect guideline. No matter what the reason, making a girl wait is the worst thing.』  
  
“That’s not it, I’m not playing a game… I want to make Medaka-chan happy, I need to become a man that can make Medaka-chan happy. Right now all I am is a failure that-”

『You don’t understand, Zenkichi-chan. You don’t just make someone happy, yu make each other happy. You’re just afraid of being rejected. You’re afraid, so you’re playing around. Playing at fighting, playing at romance, playing at youth, playing at killing games, you’re just taking advantage of Medaka-chan’s happiness and calling it your own. I am truly happy you have become like me, Zenkichi-chan. Welcome to class minus 13, the water here is shallow.』Kumagawa dramatically threw both of his arms at his side, shadows covering his entire face except for his smile, and those terrible eyes of his, arrogantly believing somebody like him of all people had the right to look down on someone else.  
  
Unable to tolerate that arrogant look on his face, Zenkichi would do anything to wipe it off. In an instant, a roundhouse kick collided with the side of Kumagawa’s face sending him flying. Zenkichi looked relieve for a moment. “You really are one helluva bastard…” Before realizing they were chained together and he was sent flying too.  
  
While they were both lying on the ground, a ding sounded. 『Oh, looks like it’s done. Thanks for spending the time with me, Zenkichi-chan. I got to air out a lot of things.』Kumagawa said with a smile, standing up as if he had never gotten kicked in the first place.

 _I wonder was he even talking about me. Kumagawa is the kind of guy who tends to lash out at others._ Zenkichi thought, but he really did not want to spend too much time thinking about Kumagawa.

 

♛

 

Just last week, those two boys had a pleasant conversation. Hajime had a terrible habit of staring into the distance. He liked to watch things like the waves hitting the shore, or trees swaying back and forth, or even shadows as they got longer. Small, predictable things. He wondered if that habit of his made him boring.

  
A raspy but otherwise cheerful sounding voice broke through his starin off into the distance. “Hinata-kun are you feeling sick?”  
  
“Huh? No, not at all.”  
  
“I see… Then, it’s okay. I thought you looked pale or something. I thought there was something worrying you...Ah, but it’d be weird if you weren’t worrying in a situation like this.”

In that moment Nagito laughed in carefree way, but just seeing him laugh was enough to distract Hajime from his worries. When he saw Hajime’s expression soften though, Komaeda read it the wrong way. “Wh-what? Is something wrong?”  
  
“No… How should I put it? I was just thinking about all the ways you’ve been helping me so far. Th-thank you…”

“No... “ Komaeda closed both eyes and smiled widely as he tried to wave off Hinata’s thanks. “I haven’t done anything to receive your thanks. But… for someone like me to be useful to you, and to even receive words of gratitude… makes me happy.”  
  
“You’re being too hard on yourself.”  
  
“I mean… my talent is just having good  luck. It’s not like it comes from hard work, and it’s not like I can use it to do anything amazing. Regardless of how lucky I am, or if that luck even exists, I’m just too unimpressive to truly matter. Haha, unlike you guys.”

At the tie Hinata did not notice, or he did not understand. The fact that Komaeda looked truly happy when he talked about how nothing really mattered to him. If Hinata paid close attention  though, his words overlapped somewhat with Kumagawa a fellow nihilist. Now that he looked back on it though, in Hajime’s opinion Komaeda looked relieved at that moment when he talked about how little he mattered. “It’s possible that my talent might be more meaningless than yours you know? I mean I can’t even remember what it is.”  
  
Komaeda’s eyes narrowed and suddenly became serious. “That’s not true. I’m sure you have an amazing talent! I mean… if you didn’t, you wouldn’t have been accepted into Hope’s Peak Academy.”  
  
When he saw the way Nagito did not doubt him at all, Hajime started to believe in him. He really did help him in so many ways back them.

Komaeda reached a hand up, and intertwined a finger in one of the many white curls of his hair. “I know, if you’d like, let me help you remmeber. Let’s see… a talent that suits Hajime… What about the Ultimate Serenity?”

“Which part of me did you look at to come up with a title like that…? Is that even a useful ability?”

“You always bring serenity to me, so that’s really amazing of you. Let’s see… What about the Ultimate Clumsy Student?”  
  
“Well, considering that I suddenly forgot  what my talent was, that might be fairly accurate…”  
  
“Then… what about the Ultimate Scatterbrain?”  
  
“Don’t go that far… I don’t want an Ultimate talent like that…”  
  
“Hey, don’t take it seriously. It was just a little joke! Hmmm, then…How about the Ultimate Spiky Hair?”  
  
“That’s not an ability at all!” Hajime said snapping at him, his eyebrows pinching and brow darkening in exasperation.  
  
“I know, right? Hahaha! But it’s going to be fine… I’m positive you have a talent that’s brimming with hope.”

 _Jeez… He’s totally messing with me._ _  
_ _But… thanks to him, my feelings are lighter than they ever were._ _  
_ _Could it be…? Was that his goal all along?_ _  
_ _If so… maybe he’s a good person after all._ _  
_ _Well, I guess it’s too early to say. I need to get to know him better from now on._ _  
_ _I hope we get to understand each other better, even if it’s just a little bit at a time._ _  
_

At least that was what he had thought at the time, now in the present as he angrily stared at Komaeda after silence had fallen in between them long enough to be awkward he came to regret that. Hinata made it his own personal responsibility to watch over Komaeda and make sure he did not interfere with anybody else, hurting himself or others.  
  
That however had the unfortunate side effect of having to be around Komaeda all the time. Hinata was sure that even Komaeda did not want to be around Komaeda all day long. The feelings he felt towards the other, pain from being lied to, fear that Komaeda would trick him again, that if Komaeda hurt somebody this time it would be all his fault did not go away either. Hinata could only push Komaeda away with anger, while at the same time they were chained together so Komaeda could never go too far.

It was like Kumagawa had described them as, a war of attrition. _No relationship you could compare to a war can ever be healthy what am I doing? What’s the point of fighting this hard to understand someone who makes themself impossible to understand._  
  
Hinata, however did not understand himself much either. He had vague memories of his past, and that was it. Perhaps that was why he grew so attached to Komaeda in the first place, he wanted something to believe in when he could not believe in himself.  
  
That belief had turned out empty. Now, he just wanted to be useful to others, but Hinata doubted himself capable of stopping Komaeda either if Komaeda got serious. He wondered then what was the point of all of his angry determination earlier. Was he putting on a show to convince others? Himself? He stared at the iron cuff around his wrist. “Komaeda…” Hinata finally broke the silence between them. “Are you really okay being chained up like this?”  
  
“Hmm? Yes, it’s fine with me. Compared to the time that I was kidnapped and tied up, I’m with much more pleasant company now.”  
  
“Komaeda all I’ve been doing is yelling at you the past few days how can that possibly be pleasant- wait what?!”

“It’s no big deal you don’t need to worry about it.” Komaeda said, offering Hinata a smile.  
  
_How can he always act like that stuff is no big deal…_ Hinata remembered again, how Kumagawa had described a minus to him. That their way of thinking was different than a normal person’s, that you had to understand their reasoning and how they coped with terrible pain. _It’s no use talking to him, but if I leave him alone… my worries are just going to grow more._  
  
“You have a scary look on your face. You don’t have to be so cautious, you know. I won’t do anything, or wait were you concerned about what happened at me in the past? Haha, there’s no way right I told a funny joke.”  
  
_As he said that, he smiled at me._ _  
_ _Why is this guy…?_ _  
_ _No… thinking about it is a waste of time. I can’t let Kumagawa get in my head._ _  
_ _  
_ “Ah… are you thinking about doing something to me? That’s wonderful. I’m totally up for it. I don’t mind at all.”  
  
“Don’t mess with me! I told you, we’re stuck like this because I’m never letting one of your plans succeed again. Why can’t you listen to me?”  
  
“Well, none of you guys are listening to me either. I don’t want you guys to lose sight of yourselves because you doubt and hate me. I just… want to see you guys embody hope.”

“There it is again… What in the world is this hope you keep talking about? Why do you keep making your own life sound so worthless in comparison.  
  
“Oh… why am I so misunderstood? I don’t get you. I just believe in hope you know?”

_Misunderstood. You’re the one making yourself impossible to understand, and what do you mean you don’t get me! I’m the only one who has a right to be confused here!_

Komaeda spoke up again, his gloomy expression brightening again at the mention of hope. “You should think about it seriously for once. WHat do you think hope is?”

“Hope is… absolutely good?”

“That’s right! That’s exactly it. And you guys have the potential to embody it. Do you understand? Hope is a positive force… Everything created by it is an absolute good. As long as the seeds of hope have been planted, I will gladly kill someone… or be killed in return.”  
  
“How can you not care what will happen? Do you just hate everybody?”

“No… I couldn’t possibly hate you guys. I love all of you. This is my one sided love.”

“What if they all start to hate you for what you’ve done.”  
  
“Well, it’s only natural I’d be hated because I’m so inferior-”  
  
“You sound like Kumagawa!”  
  
“Huh?” That was the first thing that Hinata said the entire time, that seemed to get through to Komaeda as his expression soured, but only for a moment.

“If you’re not doing this for yourself, or so people will admire you, or love you back, or need you, then why are you doing it?”

“I don’t get why you sound so confused, Hinata-kun. You’ve never had a one sided love before? Not a middle school crush that never came to fruition? I don’t think it’s weird, it’s completely normal. It’s enough for a lot of people just to love others. They can be happy with that.”

_It’s no use. I definitely don’t understand what he’s talking about at all._

_But he’s convinced it’s normal._ _  
_ _It doesn’t seem like he’s trying to trick or trap anyone for the sake of his selfish desires._ _  
_ _That’s why… this is especially troubling._ _  
_ _Violence committed out of love is the worst kind._

Hinata stood up suddenly and walked for the door of his room. He really could not just keep Komaeda contained, that would not solve anything.  
  
Komaeda behind him looked oblivious. “Huh? Are we done talking, Hinata-kun? That’s disappointing… but we can still talk anytime, right? After all, we’re both friends who yearn for hope!”

“Shut up you. I’m going to follow Nanami’s advice and go make some real friends.”

 

♛

 

Hinata went looking for Nanami, but could not find her. Which is how he ended up at Peko’s side, the only other person he had talked to at length. At the same time, right next to him was Komaeda only following him because they were still chained together. That was the only real connection between them, Hinata told himself over and over again.  
  
Komaeda was the first one to speak. “Hello Pekoyama-san, are you honing your talent as the Ultimate Swordsman again?”

“...that’s hard to do when I don’t have a sword.” Pekoyama said. When she looked off into the distance, Hinata wondered if that was her serious natured way of pouting.  
  
“Kurokami-san really doesn’t appreciate your talents. She should have congratulated you and Ikusaba-san for sharpening your skills against one another.”  
  
“Wait, did you two get into a fight?” Hinata said, alarmed.  
  
Peko nodded in affirmation, not saying anything more on the topic.  
  
“It was really wonderful, they’ll both become stronger from this!”

“No it’s not wonderful it’s dangerous. Have you apologized to her yet, or talked things out with her?” Hinata said, his brows tensing again as he started to worry.  
  
“Not really… Neither of us are really good at talking.” Peko’s quiet expression was enough to tell Hajime what the atmosphere must be like in the girl’s shared cabin.

Komaeda, changed the subject again. “What about you and Kuzuryuu-kun? You two suddenly started always hanging out together on this island, it’s strange that you’re not by his side now.”  
  
“Hey, how do you know all this stuff…” Hinata muttered.  
  
“Kuzuryuu is talking with Nanami… again.”

 _What’s with the pause before again? Is she jealous?_ Hinata was already frustrated for not understanding Komaeda, but perhaps he just did not understand other people in general. That just made him want to learn all the more.  
  
“...” Peko remained quiet, staring forward.  
  
_It feels like she’s making an even more intense face than usual._ Hinata watched her, studying her expression.  
  
“...”  
  
_Is she worried about something…? I can’t tell if I should ask for not._ _  
_ _  
_ “...”  
  
“H-hey, are you all right?! You suddenly went quiet and you’re starting to turn pale!”  
  
“Was I..?”  
  
“Wh-what? What were you even trying to do?”  
  
“W-well… Actually… I was trying to smile.”  
  
“...Huh?”  
  
“I saw Ikusaba-san smiling the other day, when she was talking to Kumagawa-kun. And, even someone as unpleasant as Kumagawa-kun is always smiling. So… I thought I should try… but it’s harder than I thought. So.. will you make me laugh?”

Hinata, at that moment remembered how easily Komaeda had made him laugh in the past when he was troubled. He looked to the other behind him. Komaeda looked back at him a smile curling on his lips, “Oh, are you going to ask me to help teach her smile?”  
  
“No way. Your smile is way too creepy.” Hinata shot back in a cold voice. “I don’t want a nice girl like Pekoyama smiling at the grotesque things that make you smile.”  
  
“Anything is fine as long as it’s funny, so give it a try, Hinata.”  
  
“You’re acting like you lowered the bar, but it’s still really high!” Hinata’s voice squeaked nervously.  
  
“...I know. If it’s possible, I’d like it to have something to do with animals. That might be something that stirs warm feelings inside me.”  
  
“Th-that may be, but… Um, then…” He summoned up his internal strength, if he had any in his empty and hollowed out self. “A panda walks into a restaurant, eats, shoots, and leaves!”

“I already know they do that…” She said, staring forward with her pale red eyes from behind her glasses.

_Crap… I botched the delivery. And it’s not even that clever of a joke…!_

“I guess we can cross Ultimate Jokester off the list.” Komaeda complained in the background.  
  
“Oh, shush you!” Hinata snapped at him.  
  
“However… pandas are nice. Their white and black fur is very adorable and fluffy… Someday… I would like to try to touch one…”  
  
As she said that, Peko’s face seemed to soften a little. As he watched, Hajime hoped he had done something, even if it was just a little bit.  
  
“You helped me, Hinata. I can’t really smile that well. I’ve been like this ever since I was young. The childhood friend I always played with used to cry and say my face was scary. There was also a time when… that childhood friend I loved coldly told me that, too. Even so… I never really needed tos mile, so I never thought about it all that much… And that’s because I completely neglected it, I forgot how to do it entirely.”

 _It’s… not normal for someone to forget how to smile._ In that moment, Hajime realized once again he did not understand the person in front of him either. Another remidner of how out of his depth he was.  
  
“Hajime, what’s wrong?”  
  
“Ah… nothing. Anyway, I’ll make sure to tell you a funnier joke next time.”  
  
“That’s good. If at all possible, I’d like to repeat it to the childhood friend and make him smile as well.”  
  
“Huh? Even though he was cold to you?”  
  
“Well, it doesn’t matter if he was cold to me. I just want to see him smile, those are my own personal feelings.” Peko said, averting her eyes somewhat as her face reddened.

Hinata realized something in that moment. He looked from Komaeda to Peko, eyes trailing slowly as his tired and overworked brain connected the dots.

 

♛

 

  
At night time, once again all of them had gathered up on the same beach they had met at that morning just by coincidence. The only real change was Peko, who had been following Hajime exchanging ideas for jokes, while Komaeda occasionally chimed in clownishly in the background of their conversation.

However, this faux peaceful atmosphere was boiling the blood of the already hotblooded Hitoyoshi Zenkichi. He suddenly exploded, his voice rising above the chatter. “What the hell are we all doing?! We just wasted an entire day without accomplishing anything! We haven’t made any progress at all on figuring out who the mastermind is or how to get out of here?”  
  
It was Medaka who spoke up. “We survived Zenkichi, that’s something.”  
  
“Surviving with our heads down is no good! You think Shiranui can rest easily knowing we all sat around like cowards instead of avenging her death against Monokuma like we should.”  
  
Medaka’s voice was as calm as ever though. One would expect she would have jumped at the battle cry right along with him, but that was the old her. “We can’t do anything if we don’t know what to do. Hanten’in-san died to prevent us from recklessly throwing our lives away.”

『This is why I told you it’s better to go with the flow Zenkichi-chan, you’re going to drown otherwise.』  
  
“Shut up, you. You’re the worst one of all, acting like you’re enjoying this. Shiranui was a minus just like you, didn’t you feel anything? Did you cry? Did you sob? No, you just laughed and said you were going to win.” He stood up, kicking Kumagawa over who barely resisted it. He grabbed Kumagawa by the front of his jacket and continued to shake him.

『So… you think, because we’re in this terrible situation, because it feels like there’s no hope at all we shouldn’t be enjoying ourselves?』  
  
“Of course not. There’s no reason to smile, none at all when Shiranui’s not around.”

『But… Shiranui was like that too, she always smiled in the worst of situations. That’s what made her a minus. Zenkichi-chan, just when you think there’s absolutely no reason to smile, that’s when you need to smile the most okay?』

“...”

『Even if you feel nothing but despair, you can still find reasons to smile, okay?』  
  
“There's nothing to smile about!” Zenkichi did not smile as Kumagawa asked him to. His face tightened, lips, brows, all twisting and yet despite his face getting so tight it did little to stop the tears that were falling loose from the corner of his eyes. “Don't sit there laughing at me, when there's nothing at all here. There's no reason to keep smiling. I don't feel anything, anything but anger...” Zenkichi started by beating his hands against Kumagawa’s chest, but over the course of his outburst, his body weakened, and he slowly started to lean against him while they were both standing up.  
  
Kumagawa grabbed him right then and led him away from everybody else. Medaka had already given up afraid she would only hurt him worse as she did not understand others, and Hinata was too busy still trying to keep Komaeda out of things.

『Zenkichi-chan…let’s dance.』  
  
“Huh?”

『It’d be awkward because we’re chained up like this so you can’t dance with Medaka-chan. Let’s dance like this instead.』

“There’s no music…”

『I already told you, the times you don’t have any reason to dance are the best time to dance. We’ll just make our own.』He grabbed Zenkichi by the arm and led him away to a different part of the beach where they might not be overheard.   
  
Kumagawa took careful care to line their bodies up like they were gong to dance. However, Zenkichi merely leaned against him, his head burying in the nook of his shoulder. 『There, there, as your upper classmen I'll cheer up the useless Zenkichi-chan.』

At that moment something within him snapped, and Zenkichi used their closeness to throw a punch straight into Kumagawa's jaw. Kumagawa fell a few steps backwards but he this time he took the punch standing. 

『I don't get it, do you want to dance or fight?』

"I'm no good at dancing..." 

『I guess for us, dancing and fighting is the same.』

Zenkichi rushed forward and threw another punch at Kumagawa, this time instead of taking it he blocked. In the background the chain connecting them clattered in the air, flying in between them like a frayed line that was their bond. 

『All relationships are like this you know, like a dance or a fight, you get closer, you duck and weave around each other...』

"Dude shut up, can't we let our fists do the talking..."

『That's not proper communication, Zenkichi-chan.』  
  
"Then, I'll use my legs..." Zenkichi threw his wrist down to pull Kumagawa closer to him with the chain and then spun around hard in a roundhouse kick. However, once again Kumagawa decided to take the blow head on, not even flinching as it collided with the side of his face. Unlike last time he was not sent flying. 

『Zenkichi-chan, why are you holding so much anger?』

  
Zenkichi struck forward with a barrage of kicks, the same as when they were fighting on that grate together. This time however, Kumagawa did not let himself be hit. Kumagawa was always a tricky opponent like that Zenkichi knew, he held back and then suddenly he didn't. He was weak, and then suddenly strong. He never tensed up even when he was about to be hit. He never cared for strength or power like Zenkichi, only fluidity. Without resistance, without thought, formless like clear water, drifting without effort one moment and pounding down in a torrent the next. 

As he continued to dodge, Kumagawa pestered Zenkichi again and again with questions.『Who are you angry at? What are you angry at?』Then suddenly, Kumagawa finally struck back hitting Zenkichi clear across the jaw to mirror the blow Zenkichi had given him earlier. The combination of the question and the hit, made him stop to wipe the blood that was pouring or of his nose. 

"I...Shiranui... Komaeda.... I... I'm fucking useless! Unable to understand Komaeda, unable to save Shiranui, unable to guide Medaka-chan. I haven't done anything, not a single thing."

『I guess we have nothing in common after all.』

"Yeah... nothing in common at all."

Zenkichi suddenly pulled Kumagawa back by the chain again dragging him into another fight. Kumagawa struck forward missing Zenkichi's head as Zenkichi plunged a blow into his nose, twisting his fist as he did. “Hmm, Kumagawa. You’re not a bad guy so what do you like about Junko so much?” He asked again, as if making casual conversation. 

Those two.

『That she’s strong.』  
  
Continued to fight.  
  
『Her smile.』  
  
Blow after blow.   
  
『Her impulsiveness.』  
  
Hitting each other without strategy.   
  
『Her cleverness.』

Both of them battered, neither breaking.   
  
『Her big breasts.』

The sound of their fists hitting each other, and the chains rattling in their ears.   
  
『The way she’s fun to bicker with.』  
  
A fight neither of them would ever win. A pointless fight.

『Hm, let’s see.. The way she’s almost certain never to love me.』

When Kumagawa said that though, Zenkichi finally hesitated leaving an opening. Both seized on the other's openings, and hit each other on opposite sides of the face at the same time, a cross counter. As they held themselves their both refusing to give up, they continued to glare at one another. 

“What do you mean? Weren’t you just saying before that you should want the other person to feel the same way-”

Kumagawa spoke, craning his neck to do so as Zenkichi's fist twisted further into his face. 『 I may love Junko but it’s better if she doesn't love me back…I can’t even imagine the sort of person that would fall for me, no... I'm sure they're not worth my interest.』

“So earlier…”

『Zenkichi-chan, why won’t you confess to Medaka-chan?』  
  
“I’m… really happy just like this.”

『That’s how Komaeda-kun and I feel… I’ve decided… It’s fine if things stay like this forever. You can forgive yourself, you're giving it everything you've got aren't you? It's okay to rest, to go with the flow for once. You've done enough.』  
  
“Kumagawa… you really have changed.” Zenkichi said, as he suddenly embraced Kumagawa. He looked over his shoulder and confirmed for himself. Hinata and Komaeda had come to follow their moonlit dance that turned into a fight after all, and he saw Komaeda’s face twist in jealousy when Zenkichi embraced him like that. It confirmed the suspicion that Zenkichi held for the longest time, ever since the trial. At that moment he dropped Kumagawa onto the ground and turned around. “Komaeda… the reason we couldn’t understand each other… was it because you liked me?”

“Eh?” Komaeda tilted his head.  
  
“You’re always talking about your one sided love but… did you feel that way about me? Just be honest.”  
  
“I…What does it matter how I feel? You love Medaka-chan right? I never had a chance from the start, I’ll only get rejected.”

『It’s not eh. Don’t tell me… Your one sided love was just to satisfy yourself. It’s not a confession unless you hear what the other party has to say.』  
  
“I hate to say it but, Kumagawa is right. Come over here. The man you love, will reject you in the most epic way.”  
  
“Hitoyoshi-kun…”

『Hurry up and go, Nagito-chan. The weak and useless minus, if there is just one thing we proudly hold against the elites, it is that we don’t run away from losing, we don’t run from rejection.』

“Hey, Pekoyama. Do you still have Mukuro’s knife? From the other day? Can I use it?”  
  
“Sure, but… what are you going to do with it?” Peko said as she tossed it over, wondering what kind of scene she was witnessing.  
  
He wondered who he hated the most for this situation. He needed to do what he always did, to cut through the person who had made all of his friends unhappy. He was not just a boy after all, he was Medaka's attack dog with razor sharp fangs. He could not be satisfied if he did not have someone to sink his teeth into. That was, the overeager, and puppy like part of him, that was Zenkichi's naievete, the restlessness that might drive him mad in a killing game where his character archetype did not fit in. He would cut through the person at fault, he decided. He would cut the man he hated. Hitoyshi picked up the knife in the air, and then suddenly without hesitation jabbed it straight into his stomach. “Gu…” He coughed blood from his mouth as he ripped it out. Next to him at his pain, Kumagawa smiled. “Uuuuoooo!!!”

“HItyoshi-kun, no!” Komaeda suddenly lost it, running forward as he forgot about the changes that binded him to Hinata. However, Hinata was standing too far away and he could not reach him. The joy he claimed he would feel, watching one of his beloved hopes face a trial, suffer, or even risk dying, none of it was present in his face. Instead, his face was entirely empty like he did not know what to feel at all.  
  
“Don’t be mistaken, Komaeda… I don’t think this seppuku will be a form of atonement. It’s just my style of determination. To cut a really dumb, oblivious guy with a sharp knife. What you have done to me, and what I have done to you, it’s something that can’t be easily forgiven no matter how I drop my head to apologize, or cut open my stomach. Therefore I will never apologize to you, and you will never apologize to me.” He let the bloodied knife fall at his side, gripping his own stomach again. “Instead, I will say this. To you I will say, with my stomach cut open and my chest held high. Even if I were to be reincarnated, I will always love Medaka-chan. Therefore, I can’t go out with you.” Standing up, blood still falling from his mouth, stomach ripped open, he was able to say that.  
  
Komaeda watched this scene in front of him. The color drained from his face, his features were no longer twisted, his face blank unable to process.   
_Am I… able to laugh?_ _  
__I wonder…_ _  
__My one sided love, did it really help Zenkichi?  
Did it lead to a hopeful ending this time?   
Is this what I wanted to happen?   
__I wonder if I can keep laughing like I always do?_ _  
__  
_ At that moment, Komaeda cracked a smile. Laughter bubbled up from within him, “Haha! Hitoyoshi-kun, you’re so dumb!” He tried to laugh, but it was an empty laugh, his voice and his entire body shook with it.

『I tried to convince Zenkichi to give up like me and he just spouted some half assed things again… Once again I couldn’t win.』  
  
Hinata who had observed all of this silently, trying once again to understand finally noticed three things in common. Pekoyama, Kumagawa, Komaeda, they were convinced that the person they loved would never love them back. _Is that really so weird? A lot of adolescent love is like that… right?_ _  
_ _Why…_ _  
_ _Why do I keep acting like these people are so hard to understand? Ultimate talents… no they’re just… kids… a bunch of dumb kids._

In the distance, Enoshima Junko was leaning back against a wall with her arms crossed. “Are you sure you don’t want to eavesdrop? Some pretty fun stuff is happening. Somebody just got stabbed.”

“I’m the one who can’t understand Zenkichi’s feelings, I don’t have any right to listen…” Medaka stayed as obstinate as ever.  
  
“Ugh, always so boring. Still, what does that guy think he’s saying… not caring about the kind of person who would love him back.” Junko bit her lip, nearly tearing it apart in her annoyance until she could taste her own blood.  
  
At that moment, Fuyuhiko had finally arrived to pick Pekoyama up and walk her back to her cabin. Immediately, because he was used to that sort of sight he noticed the blood on the ground. “The hell happened to that guy? Was there another incident?”

Pekoyama looked back to Fuyuhiko. “Oh, he did that to himself. A boy liked him, but he didn’t notice and he was already in love with somebody else so he stabbed himself to make up for it.”  
_  
_ At that, a smile spread across the always scowling Fuyuhiko’s face. “Pfffffft. What a dumbass.”

Peko turned her head to watch him. _Ah… the young master, he was finally able to smile._ She felt a tightness in her chest. One day, she wanted to make him smile that easily. If a tool like her had one desire, it was that.

Fuyuhiko waved at the still bleeding Zenkcihi. “Hitoyoshi, right? I kind of like your guts…”

All Zenkichi could do was flash a smile back, as he was quickly losing blood. Kumagawa already had him on his shoulder to carry him off to Mikan.

Peko and Fuyuhiko took that moment to walk away together, saying goodbye to Hinata politely. As they did, Fuyuhiko suddenly shifted tones speaking in a much quieter voice to Peko. “You should keep following Hinata around. As long as Komaeda doesn’t get in the way things should go smoothly, but there’s a chance Komaeda might overpower him, or do something stupid like saw off his own hand to get out of the cuffs.”  
  
“Of course young master. What are you going to do, though?”  
_  
_ “No matter how much I ask, Nanami keeps telling me to just let go of the past but, we can't let Enoshima Junko do what she wants. The biggest obstacle in the way is Kurokami Medaka that’s why I was thinking…”  
  
“What is it young master?”  
  
“I’m gonna get in tight with that childhood friend of hers. I like his guts anyway. Dumbass already showed me them when he spilled them all over the ground.” _  
_


	11. My Impurest Heart for You (4 Good Days x Bad Days)

_Ahhhh… is this where I talk about my past?_ _  
_ _Sorry, my past isn’t all that interesting._ _  
_ _I lived in an ordinary house, with an ordinary family._ _  
_ _There was nothing that extraordinarily motivated me._ _  
_ _I was just bad at dealing with others._ _  
_ _Spacy. Sleepy. Not good at noticing their feelings._ _  
_ _It wasn’t like I was bullied or anything though, the outside world just passed me by._ _  
_ _Everybody knew my name, and everybody was friendly enough, it was superficial._ _Artificial, even._ _  
_ _But one day I realized I didn’t have any friends in the real world._ _  
_ _That’s why I tried to find some in the fake one._ _  
_ _But, I was never too good at sims._

 _I played and played and played every game I could get my hands on, I didn’t care._ _  
_ _I just wanted to substitute that feeling that everybody else had._ _  
_ _Sooner or later, they started calling me the Ultimate Gamer but I didn’t feel any different from before._ _  
_

When that girl went to Hope’s Peak Academy, she decided to reinvent herself, like starting a new save file, with a new custom character. Up until that point she had always ignored life, preferring to stare at the screens of her game console instead.  
_  
_ Suddenly transferring schools, she wanted to live a life like other people would lead one full of friends and carefree days of laughter. The kind of lives that she had only ever experienced in dating sims, and school life sims before. Even in a school full of extraordinary talented individuals, Chiaki was convinced she could live the normal school life everybody else had.  
  
However, there was one problem she still did not understand other people. Even in her games she had a hard time understanding the routes she was supposed _to take,_ and the dialogue branches she was supposed to select to get the best ending. Often, when she tried to pick what to say with her gut she ended up saying things that would piss off the imaginary cute anime boys, and lock her into the worst possible routes. In games like that, if you made a mistake it was possible to reload an old save and check a walkthrough. That was how Chiaki tended to play branching story games like that where it hinged on her saying the right things to people at the right time, with a walkthrough by her side so she never had the chance of saying anything wrong.

However, there was no walkthrough for real life. At first Chiaki was afraid that she would remain her same quiet self, stuck in her own little world. However, one day she met an inspiring teacher who wanted her entire class to get along even though such a thing was unnecessary at Hope’s Peak and Chiaki had a realization. Life was not like a game, yes, but she could still see it as one. She could treat it as a game. She did not have to be the real Chiaki at all, she could just pretend to be her game character. The one she always diligently overleveled and followed every single walkthrough instruction out to the end so that no rpg could be a challenge for her.

So, that was how Chiaki decided to live. If she could not understand others, she would instead be what they needed. Always smiling, always friendly to others, always helping them out. It was like doing a run of an rpg where you made sure to complete every last side quest no matter how small.  
  
It was because Chiaki decided to become this ideal that people finally started to notice her. As everybody began to rely on her, she shifted to always being on the edge of things to being the center of the class. She started to genuinely believe that her classmate’s happiness was her responsibility.

 _That’s right for the first time I had friends._ _  
_ _The real world became more fun than games for me._ _  
_ _Or maybe it became exactly like a game._

Games do not last forever though, as much as she wished it to be so. Eventually for some reason or another, a game over screen flashes red, and the entire screen goes dark.  
  
Just when she thought everything was going well tragedy struck. One by one her classmates disappeared, and then she found herself trapped in an elevator pushed there by Tsumiki.

“I don’t care what you do to me, I’m not giving up.”  
  
Pinned to the wall, one eye drenched in blood her arm dyed pink she pushed forward until the fabric of her favorite hoodie split. Her shoulder was torn up, and so was one foot. How much HP did she have left?  
  
No, that was not the time for that. Her breathing had become ragged, and cries of pain and sorrow mixed in with every breath she took, but she pushed herself up once more. She should not be feeling this way. After all, her classmates lives were on the line.  
  
The Chiaki that everyone believed in, should have been somebody who was able to save everybody with her determination alone. She should not have been as affected by pain as this. The hope that was swelling in her chest, should have made her stronger. Yet, all she could manage to do was limp along.  
  
She felt a wetness in the corner of her eyes. No, now was not the time to cry. The Chiaki that everybody believed in, would save everybody with a smile, because that’s what they were relying on her to do. As she pushed herself forward more, her body only rocked back and resisted her with every agonizing step.  
  
“As a reward for that unsinkable spirit it’s take your chance time! Chin up, babydoll. I’m told the power of friendship can work miracles. I’ll give you a ten second head start. 10, 9, 8, 7….Crap my timing’s off. Safe to say the lesson here   s despair’s a fickle little beeyotch. What can you do miracles are such a racket. Your classmates are not coming to the rescue. They are going to watch you die though. So sad, no hail mary for you class rep.”

No. That couldn’t be true. She should not even let that girl’s cruel taunts get to her. She should be the kind of person that can shut everything out, and feel nothing but determination to save her friends.  
  
That smile appeared on every screen on the hallway, again and again, a girl smiling from ear to ear showing all her teeth. A constant reminder that a clown was laughing at her. “Chiaki Nanami, trusted, beloved…your untimely death will be the last straw. Despair will corrupt them to the bone.”  
  
“I won’t lose… not to someone like you…” She reached out and touched the screen, smearing it pink with her blood. The pink blood only smeared over one of Junko’s eyes as it appeared on the screen, and her image was uninterrupted. The sounds of laughter in the background were uninterrupted.

“I won’t… I won’t die like this…” Despite that declaration, despite having everyone’s best interests in heart, despite carrying their hopes on her shoulders, a few moments later Nanami Chiaki died. The last thing she remembered was the cacophonous laughter in the background.  
  
The Chiaki everybody believed in should have been enough to save them. The real Chiaki was just a scared little girl, who died alone. Her efforts became nothing at all. There was no hope  in her sacrifice, as it became the last straw in her classmates who had already been manipulated and pushed to the edge by Enoshima Junko and after that they decided to take the final step themselves.

Enoshima Junko’s taunts were right. All along she had been playing through life with the wrong parameters, she thought she was in a game where if she leveled up correctly and followed everybody’s routes keeping their relationship values up she would get the good ending.  However, from the start she had been stuck in a tragedy, where no matter what route she took all endings were bad ones.  
  
No miracle was ever coming. Just as she acknowledged that in the final moments of her death suddenly she heard a voice from nowhere.

『Don’t make that face. Smile. Your miracle came after all.』Suddenly, she opened her eyes from where she had collapsed on the ground. In front of her, a boy was smiling. Just like her, he was bloodied and scratched up from the many booby traps laid in this dungeon. He smiled even though a trail of blood was running from his head and fell over his lips, dripping off his chin.  
  
“Huh…?”

『I’ve made it so your death became nothing. Your alive again, and I already set off all the booby traps making my way down here so you can just walk out.』  
  
“Why… didn’t you come earlier?”

『Because, I couldn’t let you win against her.』

“...?”

『I’m the only one allowed to defeat Enoshima Junko-san, because I’m the one who hates her the most.』  
  
“...”

『I thought I’d show you what would happen if you tried to take her on all alone. See, now you understand how inferior you are. You got to taste the defeat that I’m always tasting. You’re a loser, who lost every single one of her precious classmates. There’s no hope for you now, only despair, that’s why you should smile! Even though you’ve lost everything and weren’t good enough, you can still smile!』

  
He continued to rant at her like that, but she did not understand him. Yet, at the same time despite not understanding others at all, perhaps because she had bore witness to Enoshima Junko’s cruelty she grasped his true nature in that moment. The boy who had come to save her was not hope, but rather one with a twisted nature not too different from Enoshima’s own.

『I’m sorry about this but will you let me use you just a little more? You make a convenient symbol.... I’m sure if we work together one last time we can save all of your precious classmates.』  
  
When he saw she was unable to get up on her own even with all of her injuries made into nothing, he picked her up then and carried her bridal style. Not saying anything more the rest of the dungeon as they slowly walked out together, as he could tell how much his words upset her. For an evil man, his touch was surprisingly gentle. That did not change the end result, however.  
  
The miracle she witnessed in the end was an evil one, like a wish made on a monkey’s paw.  
  
That was exactly why she could never let that happen again. She needed to do better this time. She needed to earn the good ending with everyone this time.

“Yo, Nanami you’re staring into space again!? Did you sleep at all last night? I fucking told you to get some shuteye, do I gotta come there at night and knock your ass out myself.”  
  
Fuyuhiko’s voice broke through her flashback. That was his aggressive version of caring. She realized, that she was not in that death dungeon. She was simply thinking of it in the middle of the day again. Ever since that incident, every time she let her thoughts wonder, her mind returned to that place.  
  
However, Nanami did not want to worry the others, or perhaps she just did not want them to think about her failure. So, she put on a smile as always, rubbing the corner her eyes. “Sorry… I got spacy again... I’m so bad at staying awake.”  It was easier to pretend that her sudden spaciness, was the result of a ditzy, sleepy, cute girl personality, than the other way around.

Fuyuhiko shook his head, scowling like always. “I swear…”

What were they talking about again? Nanami searched her mind trying to remember as she reassessed herself back to reality. She was in yet another game, a killing game, that seemed to have only bad endings once again. She could not give up hope though, or things would turn out just as bad as last time. In fact, this was her chance to make up for what she let go wrong in the past. “Fuyuhiko, we should stop this. Meeting behind everybody’s backs, planning on things, you’re just going to make everybody suspicious of us.”  
  
“We gotta look out for each other. The only ones we should trust are those who were in class seventy seven with us, and we especially can’t trust bastards and bitches like Kumagawa and Junko.” In Fuyuhiko’s terms, Kumagawa was the worst bastard on the island, and Junko the worst bitch.  
  
“I know but… it’s not right. I don’t like us all keeping secrets from each other, and breaking into factions everybody should come together…”  
  
“Well what if we can’t get everybody to come together? Sometimes ya can’t protect everybody. Ya just gotta decided to protect your own.”  
  
“So just like last time…” Chiaki’s voice grew quiet, as she brushed her hand through her hair. “If everybody goes off on their own again, it’ll be no different from last time. That’s how she got us, because we’re weak on our own she found us one by one and turned us against each other.”

“You see, you think she’s still after us too! She ain’t just another player like us, she’s probably the one behind all this. That’s why we should go after her.”  
  
“Maybe… this might be her fault, but that still doesn’t make going after her alone the right choice.”  
  
“I’m the one best suited for it though. The rest of you were good kids, who came from good lives. I’m the only one who grew up surrounded by murder, my hands won’t get any more dirty if I-”  
  
“You’re not listening to me. Why… why aren’t you listening to me?” Chiaki’s head fell, as she grabbed her hood and pulled it over her head. “Why won’t anybody listen to me? If everybody just listened to me, things would work out I’m sure… I’m the one who's always believed in them, had their best interests at heart, but they all ended up listening to somebody who only wanted to hurt them like Junko…”

She really did not understand the difference between her and Junko, only that if this story were the genre it was supposed to be she who wanted the best for everyone should have won. Fuyuhiko caught off guard by Nanami’s sudden outburst… well an outburst by Nanami’s standards, quiet, mumbling, but speaking more of her true feelings than ever before he hesitated.  
  
“Nanami… Sorry. It’s not your fault, I just don’t know any better growing up in the Yakuza world and all. I… no everybody in our class just wants to protect you okay? We’re going to get off this island, and be a class again I promise.”

Nanami slowly nodded, peeking out from her hood again. She was happy that Fuyuhiko had calmed down at least. “Yeah… we’re all going to get the good ending.” To seal her promise, suddenly without thinking she leaned her head against Fuyuhiko’s chest, and wrapped her arms around him. She could not cry, not in front of her classmates, that would be a betrayal of the ideal Chiaki who was always smiling that they all believed in. She hoped, leaning against him was not too much to ask for though.  
  
Fuyuhiko looked down at her. “What happened to the hairpin you’re always wearing…?”  
  
She reached up and touched her hair. “Oh. I must have lost it. Silly me.”  
  
However, in the distance that action caused a noise behind a palm tree, and a rattling of palm leaves. After hearing Fuyuhiko had met up with Nanami several times, both Peko and Hinata at the same time had come to the decision to go spy on them to see what was up. Komaeda, also had been dragged along, though he was much quieter than usual.  
  
Hinata was trying to appreciate that for as long as it lasted. Before they were noticed for the noises they made in shock, both Peko and Hinata fled dragging Koaeda again along with them.

Once they were alone, Hinata glanced over to Peko. “So… do you think…” He lacked the guts to even finish that setence.  
  
“Let’s talk about swords right? That’s why you came to find me today, you wanted to hear more about swords….” Peko suddenly changed the subject. Her face was usually stoic, but now it combined with her movements were more robotic than usual, like she was trying to shut everything out.  
  
Hinata wished they could have gotten closer, close enough to actually hear what was going on between the two of them. Still he could not grasp why Peko would want to avoid talking abut what they had seen, so he reacted in his usual confused way. “Umm… why would I want to talk about swords?”  
  
“You mentioned earlier you don’t know much about swords, right?”

 _I don’t know much about anything._ Hinata would die before admitting it though. The serious gaze that Peko gave him at the moment seemed like her normal self though, so he decided to forget about the glimpse of emotion he saw a moment ago. He rested his chin on his knuckle. “Yeah… I’ve never held a bamboo sword before.”  
  
“People cannot be judged by the appearances… So you’ve held an actual sword… just not a bamboo sword.” She brought a single finger beneath her eye, and now glared at him closely as if to size him up.  
  
“O-of course not! I’ve only ever held toy swords… not bamboo or real swords.”  
  
“Hmmmm?”  
  
“I had a fake sword that I would swing around in my room and call out names like ‘unsheath the dark blade murasame’ and nonsense like that because I thought it was training that would make me look cool, but in the end I just looked like a tool.”

“I see…”  
  
“Don’t sound so disappointed please..”  
  
“So, you’re saying you have no use for a sword. You only played around with one as a joke. Then, are you a striker? Or maybe you’re a grappler? No, perhaps you are well versed in firearms…”  
  
Hinata felt like they were speaking two different languages at the moment. “Wait, hold on… What are you talking about? Let me explain it more clearly, I completely suck at  all those things. I’m not saying I have poor reflexes, but I already know I’m not the warrior type. Even if I were to get into fights with my life on the line, I don’t think I’d find them enjoyable.” _Fighting is so… pointless._ He suddenly turned behind him and looked at Komaeda who had been silently following him as his shadow. “I’m surprised you didn’t join in while she was trying to guess my talent.”  
  
“I’m obviously not worthy to assess your talent Hinata-kun. You shouldn’t tell jokes like that, it’s mean…” Komaeda said, staring at his feet.  
  
“Huh? Weird… that sounds like something you’d usually say but you’re saying it in a completely different tone then normal.”  
  
“What are you talking about? This is the usual me, I’ve always been aware I’m trash, and I’m quite a pessimistic person…” Komaeda said, not breaking the staring contest he was having with his toes.  
  
“Well… okay…”  
  
“I See…” Peko broke out from her thoughts. “Given your strangely perceptive way of seeing things, I assumed you were but... “  
  
“Perceptive?”  
  
“Well, you’re always paying close attention to others arne’t you? I can always see you glance at us, and trying to read our every actions. I assumed you were preparing your battle reflexes…”

 _No that was just me being insecure and wondering what everybody thought of me. Awe man maybe I should have kept my mouth shut she might have thought I was someone way cooler than I was._ Hinata’s expression slowly fell as he realized this.  
  
“Even if you lost your actual memories you would not easily lose your muscle memory. Which means… you are not suited for battle in the slightest.” At that moment Peko gave him a terse stare. He could not help but feel a tingle run up his spine. He wondered if he was being assessed for his talent, or as a threat.  
  
It surprised him again when Komaeda did not say anything. Hinata almost wanted him to speak up again and break the tension as he usually did. “I-I don’t intend to fight my friends at all. I definitely don’t want to do that…”  
  
“I see… If that’s the case then, we must be extremely cautious of those two. They know the difference between weakness and strength, and they can compensate for each other’s weaknesses. And they both excel at tearing down everyone who stands in their way.” She tapped a single finger against her cheek. “Hmm… If those two formed an alliance, they could truly pose an unmanageable threat.”

“A dangerous alliance… are you talking about Kumagawa and Enoshima?” He thought about it for a moment before punching his jaw on accident in a sudden swell of emotion as he realized. “WAIT! Aren’t those two already working together? They’re like dating, or something…”  
  
“No, the line between dating and not dating is a fine one. Even when two people have mutual feelings for each other, there’s an infinite amount of missteps they may take when attempting to cross that line.”  
  
_Why does she look so serious, suddenly. Does she think about this a lot or something?_ Hajime observed.  
  
“Even though they both want the same thing, to make everybody miserable they haven’t truly worked together once. Even when they’re on the same side, they’re constantly fighting with one another. Enoshima’s one weakness is how easily she gets bored, and gives up which is Kumagawa’s strength, and Kumagawa’s weakness is how little control he has over himself which is Enoshima’s absolute strength. It’s this difference that prevents them from ever truly getting along. However… if something were to happen to motivate them to cooperate…together they’d be the perfect enemy of everybody on this island. They might have even more potential to cooperate than Hitoyoshi and Kurokami.”  
  
“H-hold on! What are you talking about? I-it’s pretty weird that you’re assuming we’d ever need to fight them in the first place. We’ll get out of this place if we cooperate with each other. Why do we need to think about fighting anyone? Komaeda back me up here…”  
  
“There’s nothing I could possibly add to that wonderful hopeful statement of yours, my support will only make things worse…” Komaeda said in a miserable voice.  
  
“Hinata, you speak the truth. I, too, would prefer to avoid any senseless killing. However… there are times when swords must be drawn. Whether you want that… or not.”  
  
Hinata truly did not get it. His mouth hung open. “What does that mean?”  
  
Peko closed her eyes in resignation. “Every human being has a duty to fulfill their destiny…” In that moment she remembered the dream she had. Though she reassured herself over and over again it was just a dream, Peko could not escape the thought that if that situation somehow did arise she would act exactly that way without hesitation, cutting down whoever stood in her master’s way even if it was the man and woman who took her in and raised her to be who she was. Swords were not meant to be discerning after all. Pretending to get along with others on this island, could not change her from a sword to a person. The only way a sword could change was if they became dull, but she had too much to protect to let that happen. “That will never change, and there is no need for that to ever change. However… I do not dislike your way of thinking, Hinata.”  
  
“Huh…?” He raised his eyebrows in surprise as she just walked off after getting so close to him, opening her eyes, meeting his own eyes and declaring all that. He called after her. “Ah! Hey Peko!” To no avail.  
  
Peko walked away without looking back at him once. He thought he had made progress in understanding her, but now he felt like he did not know her at all. “We didn’t even figure out what was going on between Nanami and Kuzuryuu…”

♛

 

“Don’t worry too much, Hinata-kun. Whatever brilliant thing Nanami-san and Kuzuryuu-kun are planning would probably only be ruined if I interfered, so it’s better for us to be in the dark…”  
  
“Seriously, what is your deal?” HInata turned back suddenly and glared at the other. He had been ignoring him all day, but now he noticed Komaeda’s hair was flatter than usual, and his ever present smile gone. “Why aren’t you being optimistic to a creepy extent like usual?”  
  
“I thought you hated when I did that…”

“Well, you’re more annoying just sitting there being all quiet and gloomy. It’s like I’m chained to a really depressing rock, you’re gonna drag us both down.”  
  
“I would hate to do that to you, Hinata-kun, but it’s probably inevitable anybody tied to me is just going to get dragged down you’re right. If you want I can cut off my hand so you can escape being tied down to me.”  
  
“What? Only a dumbass would cut off their hand in a situation like this. Ugh! I just wanted you to go back to being…” _Wanted him to go back to being what?_ Hinata hesitated as he did not know the answer tot tat question. He turned around and started walking back down the boardwalk again. “Fine, keep wallowing in your own depression until you drown see if I care. I gotta figure out how to talk to Nanami.”  
  
“Usually, you start a conversation by walking up to them and saying hi.You shouldn’t listen to  me though I’m really bad at talking to others.”  
  
“Apparently that snippy side of you doesn’t disappear even when you’re like this…” Hinata wanted to glare back at him but he already decided he would not look back at Komaeda anymore. “Look, it’s not that I don’t know how to talk to her… I’m just nervous okay.”  
  
Komaeda suddenly appeared right next to him, pointing with a shaky finger. “Perhaps that will have the answer.”  
  
“The Mono Mono Machine?”  
  
“If you give her a gift that can be an excuse to talk to her. Sorry, I know it’s terrible advie but the only thing I know how to do is to leave things up to cahnce...”  
  
That actually was not a terrible idea. Hinata walked forward and placed a monocoin in the machine, pulling the lever. A capsule tumbled out, he wondered how some of the prizes fit in these small capsules. Then he decided not to think about it too hard like most things. He picked up the capsule.  
  
Hinata decided to wait until he was sitting down in the restaurant to look at the prize. The only thing that tumbled out was a small heart shaped nut. “I don’t think Chiaki wants to be given something like this…”

“I’m sure she’d be happy to get any present from you, but what do I know. I never even got presents from my own parents on my birthday…” Komaeda said, as his he laid his head on the table.  
  
Hinata decided to tune Komaeda out.   In the background he noticed Kurokami Medaka and Enoshima Junko were having another conversation and decided to focus on that instead.  
  
“Well, we need to return to the library on the second island and search for more clues.”  
  
“Eh, you can’t! You promised you’d help me! I thought you were supposed to be the good guy who kept their promises.”  
  
“Th-that was… We can do that after we finish exploring the new island…”

“B-but… If we don’t hurry up and do it, I’m going to be feel all dirty.”  
  
“O-okay then. Let’s make sure to wash first before we do it.”  
  
“Yay! I’m a sucker for innuendo at appropriate times! Come on, let’s go where no one else can see us so I can hide my shameful secret…” Junko suddenly took control, dragging Medaka along making the imposing girl seem like a child. Maybe Peko was right after all and Junko was truly capable of controlling anybody.

 _Huh?_ _  
_ _What are those two going to do?_ _  
_ Hinata said, staring at the nut he had in his hand.  
  
“N-no I shouldn’t…these man urges...”

 _What am I thinking… those two girls are the most dangerous girls on the island… If I get caught I’ll be dead for sure._ _  
_ _But… they’re so hot…_ _  
_ _Is this what Kumagawa feels?_ _  
_ _What the… men’s urges are swirling within me._ _  
_ _That’s right I have it._ _  
_ _A huge man’s nut like this._ _  
_ _Urges… urges… urges.. Urges… Nut urges… urging nuts… Growing within me._ _  
_ _Fufufu… That’s right I have this within me._ _  
_ _  
_ “I will obtain it! An urge that will exceed this nut!”  
  
“What’s that about man urges?” Komaeda asked suddenly raising his head, before he was cut off and dragged along with Hinata. Hinata ran to the outside of Junko and Medaka’s cabin. Boldly, he jumped from the boardwalk and grabbed the window, lifting himself up to peer inside. He figured since both of those girls were so self absorbed they would not even notice him.  
  
As he tried to look through the steam covered window, he heard voices.

『Hey, is it alright if I put my finger in there?』  
  
“No way man, that’s dirty.”

『Come on, can I at least touch it?』  
  
“Don’t poke at it okay it feels weird…”

Komaeda immediately raised his attention. “Is that Kumagawa and Zenkichi?” Komaeda said as he jumped up to join Hinata. Of course, Komaeda jumped at the exact wrong angle and at the last moment, hit Hinata in the exact wrong way causing them both to tumble through the window they were just trying to look through.

  
After he hit his head on the floor, Hinata’s head cleared from whatever swirling urges had rested within him. _Wait, huh? What am I doing? Was my… characterization always this way?_ He raised his head, expecting to see Medaka and Junko bathing one another.  
  
Instead, he saw Kumagawa and Zenkichi sharing the bath at the same time. In that moment he saw every detail of their bodies. Zenkcihi’s was so well built, but never over muscled. He really did look like the kind of idealized body that the greeks would have sculpted into marble. Hinata could tell in an instant that Zenkichi had put a lot of effort into reaching such a body.  
  
Kumagawa lacked all of Zenkichi’s muscle, yet his body was not bad either. There was no flab anywhere, he had a slender almost emaciated look about him. While his body was nowhere near perfection, it had a lot of character. There were scars covering about every centimeter of his flesh. The kind of cool looking scars that made you want to reach out and caress them. His eyes trailed down for a moment, and then suddenly shot back up in surprise.  
  
_Well, at least I stumbled in on some guys bathing so they won’t think I’m a pervert._ Hinata thought in relief, but that relief was extremely short lived. _Huh? Wait? Why am I reacting this way? My face is all red? Is it the steam?_

As Hinata was lost in his own thoughts, Kumagawa was the first to speak up. 『You shouldn’t walk in while others are bathing Hajime-chan, even I think those perverted antics are crossing a line.』  
  
“Huh… wait, what are you guys doing bathing in a girl’s cabin anyway?”

『Zenkichi-chan got blood all over our bathroom, so I had to take him over here. I’m Junko’s possession, and Medaka-chan and Zenkchi-chan used to bathe together when they were younger so they don’t really mind.』

“Oh, I see that makes sense…” Hinata went quiet for a moment. “Whaaaaat? How did this all happen? I just found that nut and my mind went blank.”

『You mean the man’s nut from the Mono Mono Machine. You probably just caught a virus then, if it’s gone now you can just go  I’ll just forget about what happened.』  
  
Zenkichi finally looked up, his reaction time slower. “Huh? What happened? Did you guys want to bond together in the baths like men?”

『Yeah, something like that...』  
  
“Wha… what were you two talking about earlier?” Komaeda suddenly spat out. When Hinata looked over he saw Komaeda’s entire face was red, which was more color than he usually saw.

“Kumagawa kept trying to poke at the hole in my stomach.”

『You have to clean it otherwise you’ll get infected...Sorry if it sounded like something else I’m a sucker for innuendos at inappropriate times.』  
  
Hinata bowed his head in apology once more and decided to flee before it could get any worse, though his head was already conjuring up several ways it could. He climbed back out the window, Komaeda in tow. As they made it back to the boardwalk, Hinata looked back and saw Komaeda’s face was still red.  
  
“Huh? Is something wrong dude? I guess it’s embarrassing I’m sorry I dragged you into trouble like that.”  
  
“...”  
  
“What are you so flustered for? We didn’t even see any girls?”

“...”  
  
“Wait. Komaeda do you… do you…” Gears covered in cobwebs in Hinata’s head, finally started to turn. “Do you like Junko? Were you afraid of getting caught is that why you’re acting so ashamed right now?”

“...Hinata-kun. If somebody like you was capable of becoming an ultimate, then you really do embody hope for us all.”

“Awe thanks man that’s the nicest thing you’ve said all day.” Hinata scratched at his cheek with one finger as he thought. “Still, I wonder what those two girls were talking about then.”

Back in the other room of their cabin, Junko pulled a towel off her head, letting her blonde hair fall into every direction. “There, we’re done. Now I have to swear you to secrecy.”  
  
Kurokami Medaka watched her with a flat expression. “You were just dying your hair, your taste for added drama and flare is unnecessary as usual. Besides, I think everybody else on the island knows that you dye your hair.”

“No way, my deception and my image are both perfect, I’ve used my analysis to predict what everybody’s tastes would be and appear as the ideal in all of their eyes. If they knew it was fake, it’d ruin the immersion, like the stage lights falling down in the middle of the show.”  
  
“As usual I have no idea what you are ranting about but if you want my opinion, I think your hair looks just fine it’s natural color. There’s no need to have your hair be a unique and unnatural color just to draw attention and stand out.”  
  
Enoshima Junko scowled as she pointed a red tipped finger at the other. “Kurokami-san your hair is fucking purple.”

♛

 

Kumagawa finished carrying Zenkichi back to their cabin, and let him rest on the bed. He stayed by his bedside, but that was not really by choice considering the two were still connected by this chain. Ever since stabbing himself, Zenkichi had been severely weakened by the blood loss.

『In our normal world you probably would have been able to shake off a blow like that, but a straightforward all guts hero like you has a hard time surviving in a tragedy. You’ve forgotten what genre you were in… idiot.』  
  
“Oops my bad. Did Tsumiki-san say anything?”

『You’re probably not going to get better until you get a blood transfusion, which means you’ll be out for the rest of this round.』  
  
“Couldn’t we ask Monokuma to fix me, since I’m technically not the victim of a murder…”

『No that’s a bad idea, who knows what you’d come back as. Probably a cyborg like Koga-chan or something.』

“That’s weirdly specific…”

『Anyway, you’re lucky the blood loss has left you all loopy. I’m the one who got lectured by Medaka-chan, and Naze-chan consecutively while you were just staring into space.』  
  
“Well you like when girls give you a hard time otherwise you wouldn’t like Enoshima so much, so you shouldn’t complain…”

『Hey, who gave you permission to suddenly acquire a sense of wit.』Kumagawa said as he heard a knock on the door. When he walked to open it, he saw Fuyuhiko and Peko standing in the doorway.  
  
“Yo, we came to visit the dumbass.” Fuyuhiko said, with a wave.

『You need to be more specific there.』  
  
“The one with guts.”

『Oh, you’re talking about Zenkichi-chan. Sure, he’s just laying in bed being useless and insignificant as usual.』

Fuyuhiko nodded, and even took off his shoes as he walked by Kumagawa. He looked like the exact opposite of Kumagawa, that is to say a polite respectable young man. Peko followed in his shadow as always.  
  
“So, how’s the wound on your stomach doing?” Fuyuhiko said, looking at Zenkichi with one eye.  
  
“I-it’s fine… Nothing to worry about.”  
  
“I thought you’d say that. You must have abnormally strong willpower to slice open your own stomach like that.” Fuyuhiko said, leaning back against the wall slouching like a true crimminal.  
  
“I wouldn’t say that, I mean that’s common in the yakuza right? I doubt I could measure up to somebody like you.. Though I’d compete with you any day…” Zenkichi said, his lip twitching in a cocksure grin even though he was barely able to lift his head unassisted at the moment.  
  
“Hmmph… I just have yakuza blood flowing in my veins. There’s nothing strong about that. You probably shouldn’t compete with a guy like me, in fact you shouldn’t be here.”

  
“Huh…?” Zenkichi said, with a tilt of his head to conserve energy.  
  
“I’ve seen plenty of people die up till now. Me getting stuck in a game like this is probably something I deserve. And as long as I’m burdened with the Kuzuryu name, I’ll always be dealing with a mountain of bodies… But… you guys aren’t like me. It’s a sick joke to see students who live honest lives bumping each other off like this…”

『Ah, I feel the same way. No matter where I am I’ll always be walking a path laden with corpses, but it’s sickening to see the corpses of your friends pile up with every wrong decision you make ..』

“Huh, what are you talking about?” Fuyuhiko said suddenly looking back.

『Ah, sorry for interrupting. You two wanted to have a conversation between men right? Peko-chan and I will wait out back, Fuyu-chan.』

  
“Why’s he think he can call me by some nickname?” Fuyuhiko said, before turning his head around and looking back to Zenkichi. “Hey… Why are you being so quiet, are you scared to talk to me?”

“...”

“There’s no need to hide it. I’m used to being treated with caution by everyone. The world is a barbaric place. Especially my world… Everyone I knows tries to settle things with violence. You guys have different values than I do…” Suddenly, Fuyuhiko tilted his head a grin spreading across his face. “My old man likes to say ‘Predators are always stronger than their prey.’ He’s a hot head. Even if it’s just a minor argument, he’ll come at you with everything he’s got. And when him and my mom fight, she seriously tries to kill him. ‘Eing a yakuza means you can kill the man you love to get your point across!’ I’ve been hearing stuff like that since I was old enough to understand what’s going on around me.”

“...”  
  
“There were a few times I nearly got killed in the aftermath of my parent’s fights, but… whenever something happned… there was someone… huh? Why am I bringing this up now? I can’t remember…” He reached up putting a hand over his eye covered in an eyepatch which suddenly throbbed in a phantom pain.  
  
“Ah… I’m so sorry for being quiet. I just… kept thinking about how much it must have hurt you to live like that until now.” Zenkichi said, his face pained for Kuzuryu’s sake.  
  
“What? You don’t need to apologize for that, you strange bastard. I’m the rightful successor for the Kuzuryu Clan, I don’t get overwhelmed easily. Heh, by the time I was in second grade, I didn’t cry even if I lost a fight.”

  
“I don’t think it’s bad to cry. I cry all the time.” Zenkichi said, batting his eyes.  
  
“Yeah, you’re a strange one alright. I think we have something in common though, we both have childhood friends we gotta prioritize above everything else. Let's talk privately about something, I want to ask for your cooperation.”

Outside the cabin, Kumagawa MIsogi was sitting waiting with Pekoyama. The two of them sat in an awkward silence, Kumagawa still smiling apparently obvious to the awkwardness between them.  
  
It was Pekoyama who first spoke up, in her usual manner. “I have a request I’d like to make of you.”

『Hmmm? Sure. You can’t have my heart though it already belongs to Junko sorry. I give my impurest heart for you.』

“No, not that. I want to know how you’re always smiling. You seem like a miserable person, but you have such a beautiful smile.”

『Oh, you are after my heart. How naughty of you. All of my smiles are fake, it’s just an act.』  
  
“So… it’s worthless trying to learn, huh?”

『I didn’t say that. I’m sure if you smile for your friend, even if it’s a fake smile they’ll appreciate your effort. You just need to learn the secret technique like this is a shonen manga.』Kumagawa suddenly put two fingers in the air, and reached forward to her face. His fingers hooked the sides of her cheeks, and he pulled her expression into a smile against her will. 『See if you do it like this you can smile anytime you want.』

“Amazing… but what if I want to get my friend to smile. The last time he smiled was when somebody got stabbed, but I don’t want to have to do that all the time to reproduce the same result.”

『That’s alright, my secret technique also comes with a magic spell. If you pull both sides of your mouth and chant “I was born on a pirate ship" in that state you can make yourself and anyone else laugh.』  
  
“I see. You’re really knowledgeable on this subject Kumagawa. Is it because your entire life is a joke?”

『Something like that! It just so happens that jokers are my only friends.』

 

♛

 

Kumagawa when walking outside of his cottage to the market with Zenkichi on his back, asleep to go buy another change of bandages just so happened to bump into Chiaki. He probably thought running into her now of all times was just more of his bad luck, or more accurately her bad luck for meeting him but as he just tried to smile and step away she grabbed him by the sleeve.

“Kumagawa… are you really that loyal to Junko?” Chiaki asked all of a sudden. She did not seem like the type to notice the relationships between people, it caught him off guard for just a moment.

『Huh? What is this, are girls competing over me? Since when have I become the protagonist of a harem anime..』Suddenly in the middle of his joking around, Kumagawa was cut off as Chiaki threw her arms around him. He froze in place, and nearly dropped Zenkichi as he had no idea how to react to this sentiment. 『What is...』  
  
“All you want is a friend right? Junko’s never going to be your friend no matter what you do for her. I’ll be your friend instead. Stop helping her out, and help us instead. There’s no way you can win going down that road.”

『Chiaki-chan, you’re so kind...I already know that Junko will never love me.』 He reached forward with a free hand and slowly pushed her away from him by the shoulder. 『That’s exactly why I can’t be your friend. I’m not a good person like you, by associating with me, you’d get hurt by my bad luck, or I’d hurt you. I thought I could surround myself with the weak and useless minus who were used to getting hurt...but I didn’t want to see them in pain either. The only person who thinks an unpredictable life where nothing goes the way you want it to is a good thing is Junko. That's why, I don't care if she loves me or not, I just want to show her something fun so she's not bored.』

“You sound so selfish…”

『Well that’s true but, if I said something selfless like ‘If I were to abandon Junko-chan, nobody else besides me could understand her, she’d have no one left’ she’d probably eat me alive.』

“I don’t really understand the rules of the game you're playing. Still seems like a no win scenario to me…”

『You said there’s no way I’ll win, right? Well for me those are the cards I’m always dealt. An impossible to win scenario, an unbreakable cycle, that’ll make my eventual victory shine all the greater..』

 _He kind of sounds like Komaeda…_ Chiaki observed as he walked away, still carrying a sluggish Zenkichi on his back.

Hinata had been watching, jealousy fuming at the back of his mind again. When he finally made it to Chiaki’s side to ask her what was going on, he got distracted by watching Chiaki’s face as she stared out into space. _Is she daydreaming again?_ “Hey, if you’re that sleepy, why don’t you just go back to your room and rest?"

 _Hinata and Fuyuhiko could both compete for the talent of the Ultimate Nagging Mother._ Chiaki thought as she rubbed her eye again, trying not to dwell on thoughts of Junko. “Ah, no… Since you’re here… Let’s talk. If you give up at this level, you’ll never defeat the Warlock Lord. ‘My adventure ended like this”... That’s all you’re gonna get.”  
  
“Looks like she’s half asleep…”  
  
“Huh..? I can’t believe you don’t get my Shadowgate joke.”  
  
“Hey, if you’re bored do you want to go somewhere? You might wake up for a walk.”  
  
“I want to go… to a fun place.” Chiaki brought her finger to her lips, as she stared off into the distance and into space asking that of Hinata.  
  
“Should we go to the supermarket?” Hinata asked, like the life of the party he was.  
  
“I like running over zombies with skateboards and wheelchairs. Chainsaws are the strongest though… It sounds fun, so it’s fine.”  
  
“Komaeda do you want to come along?”  
  
“....Sure.”  
  
“Are you still not talking? What’s with you?”  
  
“Even I don’t want to be saying the things I say most of the time when I’m talking so it’s better if I just stay quiet.”  
  
Hinata shrugged, and the three of them went to the store. As she stared at the  shelves, Hinata walked over to her and looked over her shoulder. “Hm, what happened, Chiaki?”

 _I was thinking of the past again..._ Chiaki covered it up by pointing at a row of sweets. “What is this? These sweets look cute.  
  
“Oh, those are sweet rice crackers. Man, this place seriously has everything.”  
  
“I see.. They’re called ‘sweet rice cracker’.”  
  
“Didn’t you ever eat them during Girl’s Day?”  
  
“I never did really... I never really participated in fun activities with other people, and my family was kind of distant.”  
  
“Oh well, if you want somebody to celebrate it with I’ll definitely do it with you! Once we get out of here, we’ll share crackers and pray for your health and success together. You know, because you’re a girl. I guess we’ll have to pray for my health and success on a different day.”  
  
“That’s amazing, Hajime.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“What you said was really dumb but… it made me happy hearing it. I think you know a lot about making people ahppy.”  
  
“What.. it’s nothing, really…” _Was Chiaki in a bad mood._ _  
_ _  
_ She got lose in his face, looking him in the eye. “...Hey, let’s go somewhere again, okay?”  
  
“Yeah, let’s do this again.”  
  
_We made that promise and left the supermarket._ _  
_ _I need to think about a place I can take Chiaki that will make her happy..  
  
_

♛

 

That night, while Komaeda slept he imagined a hallway filled with digital numbers and glowing strips. As he walked down it, he could see the only real thing in the hallway was a set of two wooden doors.  
  
His pale and thin fingers reached forward and pried the door open. His eyes softened as on the other side the first thing he saw was a portrait of his first and only beloved family pet. The portrait looked exactly like the ones which Monokuma kept and used for the trial. He tried to recall, the happy memories he had associated with that dog. However, like spots appearing on old film strip, suddenly his vision became tainted with splashes of blood.  
  
That was right, the dog he cared about so much in a random accident became smeared across the pavement, in bloody stains just like that. For a moment he saw his childhood self grieving over the dog. This was, a familiar scene he had seen many times before though so he deided to turn away with his hands in his pocket and walked past them.  
  
As he walked forward, the digital hallway extended. He had no sense of time or distance. He just knew that walking was making him tired, or perhaps living itself was the source of his fatigue. He tried turning another corner, and he saw a jet plane split in half. Two more portraits were present in front of the scene, but this time no faces appeared in the portraits. After all, he was the kind of ungrateful child who would forget the faces of his own parents just because he was scared.  
  
In the wreckage, his parents crushed bodies were still present. Mixed with the blood that was pooled on the floor, were several bills of money, just sitting there. When the wind changed direction, they blew in Komaeda’s face, but his expression did not change. He walked away from the corpses, the plane wreckage, the scent of burning fuel, all of it unfazed without looking back, because that was the kind of monster he was the kind that had seen this all before.

He looked down and saw a chain on his wrist. _Hinata’s? No...it’s that time…_ He looked around him and saw nothing but trash, piled up, old food, bags of it, a rusted bicycle, thrown away cans, all discarded things and him among them. Suddenly, the wind blew again and a lottery ticket was jostled free from the trash.  
  
Money from the sky piled around him falling down, but just as easily the hands of faceless adults came to snatch it away. He did not care anymore, he was used to this scene. He walked on. Several of the hands even reached out for him, he felt their fingers brushing by him, his skin, his hair, grabbing at him but he kept on walking. Those hands did not belong to anybody important after all.   
  
There were funeral portraits on either side of the path he walked, but he no longer looked at them. That was the kind of person he was. With every step he took, he waded through the corpses of students. Fresh to the pile, were Shiranui Hanten, and Shiranui Hansode. The rest wore the reserve course uniforms of Hope’s Peak Academy. He did not even look at their faces, to him they were no different then the pile up trash he had been tied up in and thrown in just a moment ago. No, they were not just piled there, they were falling from the sky around him. He tried to ingore the sounds of falling trash, drowning it all out.   
  
A familiar room, where the only source of light was the X Rays which had been placed on a backlit screen. The adult who told him he was going to die without even looking him in the eye or offering him a word of comfort. He could not remember his name or his face, and Komaeda too walked straight by. He was used to such bad sights by now, he told himself over and over.   
  
The only thing he reacted to, the only thing he reached to grab was an envelope marked with the seal of Hope’s Peak Academy. The moment he reached out for it though, a child grabbed for it at the same time. “You should be careful.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“That’s hell you’re walking into.”  
  
“What…”

“Fine, if you keep going it’s your fault. You could have turned around.”  The child had hair that curled in every direction just like his, but it was red. The color his hair would have been naturally had he endured the life he did. He had no other identifying features, just another of the faceless masses. He took a step forward, normally this was the part of the dream that Junko’s nails caught him and dragged him down.

Instead he saw Zenkichi standing up in front of him. He offered a friendly smile. Komaeda reached out to him, but suddenly a hand with red nails grabbed him by the neck. He saw the words appear on the screen. _It’s Punishment Time!_ This time, instead of Komaeda it was Zenkichi who was dragged underneath into watery depths.  
  
Komaeda woke in a cold sweat. He saw, two faces hovering over him apparently watching him while he slept.  
  
“Dude, I told you something was wrong. I had to drag you all the way to Ajimu before you’d wake up.” Hinata said, his expression already looking exasperated.  
  
“Huh… why her?”  
  
“Well, I was going to drag you to Mikan but I was afraid she’d start crying again and make the situation worse, than I was going to drag you to Naze but I thought she’d dissect you or something. Somehow Ajimu seemed like the most sane option of the three.”  
  
“Ah… I see… Sorry, all I do is cause trouble, you shouldn't disrespect the talents of others like that though..”  
  
“If you’re self aware then you should try to fix that quality.” Hinata said in a cold voice as usual. However, he remembered the words that Chiaki said to him. _You’re good at making people happy._ The words that Komaeda said to him. _Ultimate Serenity._ If it could set others at ease, he wanted to try at least. “Come on man, can you just tell me what’s wrong? I’m dumb, so I’m not going to get it unless you’re straightforward.”  
  
Komaeda's eyes went empty again for the moment, drained of the false confidence he usually carried himself with. He was a twisted person, composed of twisted logic, and always further twisting things he got involved in, but this time he could not justify what had happened in his head no matter how much he spun it around. The plain truth came tumbling out of him, “Hitoyoshi-kun got hurt, and it was my fault.”

“What? He stabbed himself how could that possibly be your fault?” Hinata said, eyebrows raising again in confusion.  
  
To live until this point, he had to assure himself again and again that it was not his fault. Those that fell around him, those that piled up at his feet, it was meant that way. They were just weak hopes. However, only those who took too much fault in everything were the ones who constantly reassured themselves it was not their fault. The more he tried to push those feelings under the surface, the harder they resurged every time. If he tried to close his eyes again and ignore it he would see Hitoyoshi, floating there in that water again. His body cold. That was what death meant. Like his parents. Like himself. All the warmth would be drained out of Hitoyoshi, he would not be able to smile radiantly like he always did. “It’s my bad luck. It’s uncontrollable, stronger than anything else. I thought… Hitoyoshi-kun was the kind of person who was strong enough to endure it but, I was wrong again…”

“What are you talking about bad luck… I thought you were the ultimate lucky student.”  
  
Ajimu Najimi spoke up at this time. “I find it unlikely that your bad luck affected HItoyoshi-kun. His ability Devil Style nullifies all coincidence around him. It’s more likely a result of his own overeagerness to prove himself as usual and his lack of foresight.”  
  
“Huh… what are you saying?” He did not want to say it at this point, because he had loved Zenkichi. Not just as a source of hope, but as a person he had gotten to know. This is why he could only love one sidedly, indirectly, it was embarrassing to admit, it was painful, he curled up further twisting his fingers into the curls of his hair. 

It was Hinata who spoke up then. “Listen, not everything is bad luck. Sometimes bad things happen because people are dumb!” Hinata said, slamming his fist on the ground for emphasis. He would probably be the expert on that.  
  
Komaeda, tried to remember the face of somebody he cared about. A strong person who showed him such a colorful emotion. However, when he tried to draw upon that memory he only saw a blank phantom. There was nothing within him, no beautiful memory that could ever last, that he could hold onto. It was just as well he had forgotten about that person. “I just wanted to find somebody strong enough to withstand my luck…I didn’t mean to hurt HItoyoshi-kun…Trash like me, should not have been able to hurt him. That's why I thought it would work out alright no matter what I did.”  
  
“Komaeda you’re not trash, you have to be more self confident. For example a poisonous insect can easily kill a person. Weak things overcome strong things all the time. Any person can hurt anyone, that's why humans are so fascinating.” Ajimu humed in a soft voice. “If it helps, from my perspective you’re all trash.”

“I don’t get it… earlier you said you didn’t mind if people died. Why are you freaking out now?”  
  
“Hitoyoshi-kun got hurt, and nothing was gained from it. That’s not hope. It’s just me hurting someone. It's cruel and random loss. Now that I think about it that’s how it usually ends for me, so perhaps it’s better nobody is near me.” He just wanted, to be able to hold something in his hands. He did not know, if it was the warmth of another person's hand, or something else. Something that would not go away. The more things went out of control, the more he grasped onto things, clinging tightly, wanting to control them. He loved radiant light more than anyone else, but the brighter the light the longer the shadow that was cast and twisted behind it. Hope's twisted shadow, one who could never touch hope least he be extinguished, but could not keep existing without hope either, that was who he was. 

Hinata’s frustration hitting a boiling point, he raised his hand in the air causing the chains between them to clatter. It was a reminder of that binding force which Komaeda had gotten so used to it almost seemed invisible to him. In that moment it was made visible. “Look, I don’t get what you’re talking about but, I’m bound to you right now. So even if I wanted to, I couldn’t go anywhere. These chains are stronger than either of us okay, no matter what they’re not going to break. So I’m staying with you okay?”  
  
“Then perhaps the strength of Hinata-kun’s hope will..”  
  
“I don’t care about how strong my hope is. I’ll stick with you because that’s what I decided to do, that’s my responsibility, got it?” He averted his eyes to the side, his gaze still showing his obvious emotion written over his face. “Tch, how troublesome.”  
  
This is what Komaeda failed to understand. Bonds were not physical things, they were invisible, unseen, they too, like hope, required one's faith in them. 

Ajimu brushed a hand through the wild tangles of Komaeda’s hair, while he sat in her lap. “Lucky for you, Komaeda-kun. You’ve acquired a parasite.”  
  
“Mmm, I guess waking up from a nightmare to be comforted is more than I deserve. Especially waking up in somebody’s lap. Though I wish it had been a lap more like Hinata-kun’s.”  
  
“What are you saying dude?”  
  
Ajimu Najimi rolled her eyes. She had been around Kumagawa long enough to know it was best to be direct with this kind of oblivious person. “He’s saying he likes dudes.”  
  
“Oh.” Hinata gasped.


	12. My Impurest Heart for You (5 - Comedy x Tragedy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Small hxh reference this chapter.

“Whoa, this place is like one of those old fashioned dojos, huh?” She said, as she grabbed one of the bamboo swords off the wall and then swung it around like it was a baseball bat. That girl giggled as she did it, as if she were forcing herself to enjoy it.  
  
Peko was a study in contrast of the loud girl. She sat on the floor politely with her hands on her knees, and legs tucked underneath her. As she saw the other girl improperly wield a sword, she had to fight back the urge to cringe. “That’s not proper form for practicing swings with a sword…” She said in a quiet voice.  
  
“Huh? What are you talking about I totally know how to handle a sword, I’ve watched anime before.” She said, as she stopped swinging and then let the sword rest on her shoulder turning her head to look back at Peko. For some reason, that girl had no visible face. Instead it was covered with an expressionless, Noh mask. The mask was pale with full red lips painted on it.  

To say Pekoyama’s upbringing had been traditional would be putting it lightly. She was aware, as it was often difficult to tell the actual feelings expressed in a Noh mask, it is up to the performer to imbue the mask with emotion. With Terasu (tilting upwards) the mask could appear to be slightly smiling or laughing, and kuromasu (tilting downwards) produced a slight frown, or crying. When the performers hung the mask on their face, it was implied they became the mask themselves.

“Was there something you wanted? Or did you just come to play around with my things,” Peko said, her stern nature taking over.

“Boo, you’re no fun. I like playing around with others toys the most. Is this how you treat all your friends you invite over?” She said turning her head away from her once more, the mask she was wearing disappearing between the two twin blonde tails that trailed from the back of her head.

“It’s not a toy, it’s a training sword.” Pekoyama corrected her again. She glanced over at their shoes waiting in the hall, a pair of heeled boots and Peko’s own shoes. “I wouldn’t know, you’re the first friend I’ve ever brought.”  
  
She put a finger on the painted red lips of her mask. “Hmm, I wonder why that is.” As she said that, thunder roared in the background. Thunder, took the form of the two masters of the house arguing. Whenever they fought, the whole house shook with the aftereffects.

When she heard Fuyuhiko’s voice caught up in the middle of it though, Pekoyama’s blood froze. “It can’t be helped, that’s how it’s always been.”

“That’s the attitude, just settle for the status queue! Not a boring attitude to hve at all! Aren’t you a bit sad, you went to that new school and even though you distanced yourself from your young master you weren’t able to make any new friends.”

“I’m fine with that, I never wanted to make new friends among my classmates anyway. I was merely following the young master’s wishes.”  
  
“Oh, so you’d be fine with a world consisting of just yourself and the young master right? I can understand that feeling. I think it’s admirable… but who knows if your master feels the same.”

“What?”  
  
“I mean he’s the one who ordered you act like you don’t know him in the first place right, why would he do something like that? You only had your yong master’s best interests at heart, right? You’re only ever thinking of him.”  
  
“Yes, that’s true. I just want to be useful to him.”

She tilted her head up then, the shadows on her face contorting the mask’s expression into a smile. “I see. So that’s it. That makes sense. Sucks to be you though.”  
  
“Sucks to be who?”  
  
“I mean, things are getting worse around here recently right? Why is that?”  
  
“There were two children of this household last year, but then the daughter of the household was lost.”  
  
“Awe, I guess they never counted you as a daughter. So, whose job was it to prevent that?  
  
“Mine.”  
  
“What about when it came to getting even with the person who killed that poor girl, whose job was that?”  
  
“Mine.”  
  
“Who did it?”  
  
“My young master.”  
  
“God, do you even do anything around here? Talk about lazy, are you just mooching off of them at this point?”  
  
“I would never.”  
  
“Then…” Suddenly, that girl was whispering into her ear, closing the distance between them in a few moments. “Why haven’t you done a single thing, for your beloved master? You want him to rely on you but all you ever do is rely on him.”  
  
“No…”  
  
“You’re useless, that’s why he’s throwing you away.”  
  
“I just…”  
  
“You just want to be by his side right? To do that, you need to be useful to him.” Pekoyama felt red nails close in around her shoulder, tightening their grip on her. “I think it’s admirable, this hope you have. Believing there’s still something you can do even if there’s nothing you’ve been able to do so far. That’s why, next time you just need to try harder. Give it everything you’ve got to protect your young master, go forward and seize hope. I believe in you.”  
  
“...”

She withdrew then, and turned her head around. She picked the sword off up her shoulder and handed it back to Peko.  “Hmm, so who is it you serve again? Are you the whole yakuza’s to use?”  
  
“No. My only master, is the young master.” Peko said, as her hands reached out for, closed and tightened around the sword. That was the only thing that belonged in her hands in the end after all. “He’s the only one I want to protect.”

Suddenly, Pekoyama woke from another nightmare with another sudden jolt. It took her a moment to catch her breath, but when she did she looked  across the room. “Is Ikusaba-san out again?” She muttered, before turning around to chase sleep again she would never catch. It would slip out of her hands before she could catch it like most things in her life.

 

♛

 

That morning, Peko simply wanted to get her mind off of what troubled her in her sleep. She did what most people did when they did not want to confront too boring for them (or for other reasons I guess) she sought a distraction.

Peko went looking for that boy with spiky hair and a strange way of thinking. She wondered if so far she had ever truly interacted with him, most of the time just like ordered she was just wearing the mask of Hope’s Peak Student and Ultimate Swordsman Pekoyama, the one who interacted cordially with others just as the young master wanted.

  
Even if it was fake though, she was having fun. Perhaps it was better that he only interact with this version of her. Hinata seemed rather skittish. He might be too afraid of Pekoyama the mafia hitman. Just as she found him and called out his name softly. “Hinata…” He jumped  
  
“Huh? Were you sneaking up on me?”  
  
“No, I just have quiet footsteps.”  
  
“I see. Does that come useful to a swordsman?”  
  
“Sometimes.”  She said, thinking on how much easier it was to kill an opponent if they were caught unawares. She had come looking for him with something on her mind though, so she quickly changed the subject. “Listen to this, Hinata… I have discovered a revolutionary technique.”  
  
“A revolutionary technique…? Are you talking about how to smile?”  
  
Chained to his side as always, Komaeda joined in on the conversation looking back at Peko. “Pekoyama is an Ultimate Talent I doubt she’d share a technique over something as silly as smiling.”  
  
“Yes, Kumagawa-kun taught it to me.” Peko said, talking over Komaeda. While Peko was the only other student in the class who did not really care about Komaeda’s presence around Hajime besides Nanami as the rest had been avoiding him, Peko was not good at doing much besides tolerating others.

 _I have a bad feeling about this.._ Hinata thought as he left his mouth hanging open in anticipation.

“I have no attempted it yet, but I have properly memorized how to do it. First, I must hook my fingers to both sides of my mouth. And if I pull them to the side and up a little, it will resemble smiling.” She recited faithfully.  
  
“Th-that’s just for show, though…” Hinata said, already growing wary now that he knew that it was Kumagawa of all people who gave her that advice. His voice was too weak though and she spoke over him easily.  
  
“Does that matter? Not every smile is real, is a smile you’re just wearing as a mask inherently worse?”  
  
“Uh…” Hinata had no answer as he was caught off guard by such a deep philosophical question. Unlike all the other characters he was a bit too dumb and lacking in self awareness to casually discuss theme, or perhaps he had too much self awareness.  
  
“However, that is not all. Apparently, there is a magic spell that you can use in this state to make yourself and anyone else laugh.” Peko continued, determination shining in her pale red eyes.  
  
“M-magic spell?”

“Apparently, I must pull both sides of my mouth with my fingers and cahnt. ‘I was born on a pirate ship.’ Though I’m skeptical, I shall attempt it.” Peko said, as she tapped underneath her eye with a single extended finger to focus in preparation.

“No, stop!” Hajime said suddenly. _This is a prank little kids play on each other… A magic spell? Really? Jeez, Kumagawa… You do a lot of screwed up things. Oh hey, a pun._ Hinata smiled at his own joke without realizing it.  
  
This made Peko frown, her eyes troubled. “Hinata, why did you stop me?”  
  
“It’s nothing you’ve done wrong, but I don’t think you can really call that a smile… I think it’ll be more like a smirk or something similiar to that.”  
  
“I see…” Her eyes closed in resignation. “So, just as I thought, there is n way for me to make someone smile since I’m incapable of smiling.”  
  
“N-no… I didn’t mean it like that…” _Why do I always manage to say the wrong thing. Maybe that’s my talent._ He did not understand why Peko wanted to smile so badly. He had always been able to smile. He could not imagine what would happen to someone to make them unable to smile. No, for some reason imagining that was scary to him. Perhaps he had been taking it for granted so far, the way he could smile without thinking about it, that he could feel things that made him want to smile.  
  
“Kumagawa-kun is always smiling. Even if it’s a fake smile, it’s nice… His smiles are the kind that give people power. THinking about it, I remembered when I was a kid. THere was a time when my childhood friend and I nearly got lost in the mountains.”  
  
“Lost in the mountains? Did you wander away from your parents?”  
  
“No… we were forced into someone’s car.”  
  
“I-isn’t that kidnapping?!”  
  
“Well, it was fine until I saw a chance for us to escape… Afterward we got lost in the mountains.”  
  
_Y-you’re being really calm about this but… that’s an intense situation._ Hinata thought.

“It’s not  a big deal, Hinata-kun. Kidnapping seems to be a regular occurrence among us ultimates,” Seeing the distress on his face Komaeda tried to reassure him. “The danger is the price we pay for having such eventful and extraordinary lives.”  
  
“Why are you being so calm about this too!?” Hinata snapped back at him, feeling the opposite of reassured.  
_  
_ “I desperately tried to cheer up my friend, but I was also scared and worried. My friend could sense that as well so in the end, I ended up making him cry. If I had been able to smile and tell him that everything was okay, even if it was a lie… I might’ve been able to take away his fear.” As she crossed her arms, Peko remembered the way Chiaki was able to put Fuyuhiko at ease unlike her, the way Fuyuhiko listened to Chiaki. The time after Natsumi died when he told her not to do anything, and turned away from her punching the wall in his frustration. The two of them were always at each other’s side, but he kept showing her his back. “Hmmph, I haven’t grown at all since then.”  
  
“So what happened? Were you both saved?”  
  
“Of course. My sword is a tool to protect people. I made sure I protected my friend.” When others came after them, she cut down the faceless men in suits. As they fell to the ground one by one to her blade, she started to feel something. When they had all fallen at her feet, strewn about around her she finally turned to him. Even with their blood carelessly splashed on her faces, she tried to smile at him. She wanted him to see she was okay.  
  
Her childhood friend only broke out crying at her attempts to cheer him up.  
  
_Protect huh…_ _  
_ _Peko sure became strong for that sake… But because she became too strong._ “Hey, Peko… I want to help out too, if you don’t mind.”  
  
“Huh…?” Suddenly, she broke out of her reflection again at Hajmie’s words.  
  
“Let me help you until you can finally smile on your own. Isn’t it too early to give up now?”  
  
“I see. Hinata… to tell you the truth there is one more thing I would like you to do.”  
  
“...Me?”  
  
“I-I Need, um… No wait, hold on,... I need to prepare myself a bit more. When the time comes, I’ll tell you… So until then please forget what I said. Excuse me.” Peko said, and just like always she disappeared as suddenly as she appeared.

Hinata simply stood there staring in the aftermath of that scene.  
_I don’t really understand but Peko quickly vanished._ _  
_ _...Why were her cheeks red?_ _  
_ _Could it be..?_ _  
_ _..._ _  
_ _No that’s impossible… THere’s no way Peko is interested in me…_ _  
_ _There’s no way… right?_

“Do… do you think there’s hope?” Hinata said turning back to Komaeda.  
  
“There’s always hope, Hinata-kun!” Komaeda said suddenly, looking almost offended.

_He was probably the wrong person to ask that question._

 

♛

 

Hajime paced back and forth within the confines of his own cabin. Sitting on the opposite bed, stretching the chains between them just to its limit Komaeda was watching him with a smile as always.

“You’re really worked up about this, huh?” Komaeda said, almost sounding concerned.  
  
Though, Hinata knew at this point not to be fooled by that as at any moment he might say something irritating next. “Yes, because unlike you I actually care about the feelings of others… That’s why if P-peko likes me, I need to take it s-seriously.” Hinata said, before sitting down on the matress. “W-why would she even like me though?”  
  
“I think you have lots of likeable qualities, she’s always at ease when she’s talking to you for one. Though, isn’t it kind of desperate to develop feelings for somebody you just met?” Komaeda said as he tilted his head and gave a carefree smile.

 _There it is. He’s always gotta smile like that when he’s insulting somebody, huh..._ Hinata tried to ignore that remark though his eyebrow was visually twitching and moved on. “No, I’ve been thinking about it and… she’s always telling me about this childhood friend, right? You know how my memories are all messed up? Maybe I’m that childhood friend and I’ve forgotten about it.”  
  
“Wow, you really want to be important to somebody, huh?”

“I’m serious! If that’s the case then why she’s always talking about trying to smile would make sense. Man, now I feel really bad. Imagine if somebody you really cared about forgot all about you but you had to interact with them like it was normal.”

“...Hinata-kun, we should probably stop talking about this. All of this relationship stuff doesn’t have anything to do with the killing game, right? It seems like a waste of time.”  
  
“Man, why do you even like mentioning the killing game so much? I think we’re better off if we just don’t think about it, and ignore the motive…”  
  
“So, you’d really be satisfied living on this island forever? You’re not helping anyone by just hiding in your cabin all day.”  
  
“I am helping people! I’m like… talking to them and stuff.” He thought about how Chiaki called him good at making people happy. “I really think I can help people this way without participating in the killing game.”  
  
“Actions speak louder than words.”  
  
“Words are important too, that’s why they’re in like books and stuff…”

  
“Even if I wanted to I couldn’t go play that dumb arcade game anyway. Kurokami-san is guarding it, there’s no way I could stand up against someone like her.  
  
“It’s in adversity where our talents shine though. You might unlock your talent by being put into the terrible situation of facing her.”  
  
“I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work that way, it’s not like a power up in a shonen manga you get at last minue I’d just get crushed and blended. You’d have to mop up liquid Hajime. So I guess when you were concerned about others getting hurt yesterday, that was another one of your lies huh…” Hinata’s face fell in disappointment. Komaeda gave him no proper response he simply looked away. “That reminds me… your talent is being the Ultimate Lucky Student, right?”  
  
“I happen to think it’s extremely boring.” Komaeda said, his eyes still off somewhere.  
  
Hinata wanted Komaeda to look back at him, so he deliberately said something to provoke him. “For someone who’s lucky, you still got dragged into this mess. Doesn’t that seem ironic to you?”  
  
Komaeda’s expression did not change at all though. He simply kept smiling like always. “Not at all! This is simply the beginning of hope!”  
  
“Huh?” Hinata hesitated, wondering if he could see Komaeda react like he did that day. He seemed much more human then.

  
“I was born with a unique type of hope. This current situation… is foreshadowing the Ultimate Luck that will be arriving afterward.”  
  
“...What do you mean?” _Ugh… why do so many people around us use meta talk I can’t keep up._  
It was rare, if ever that Komaeda was asked to explain himself. It should have been easy, a person as lonely as him should know themselves well enough, right? He was all he ever had. Yet as he tried to put it into words, they always leaked out of his mouth faster than he could control. “If everything that’s happening now seems like bad luck, it’s all going to result in good luck in the end. As long as I exist, that will definitely happen. So… I can’t help feeling excited for what’s going to happen. Seeing my beloved embodiments of hope trapped on this island and forced to kill each other so pathetically… It’s all just preparation for the good luck that will arrive in the end… I’m going mad from excitement!” Komaeda finished gripping the side of his head.  
  
“...”  
  
“Huh…? You look confused.”  
  
As he watched Komaeda’s animated performance, Hinata’s expression worsened and worsened.   _Isn’t that obvious…? He thinks the bad luck happening right now is just a preparation for good luck? What’s wrong with him..?_

Komaeda was not good at reading others, but he knew when a face had ‘What is wrong with him?’ written all over it because he had witnessed it countless times in the past, from adults and children alike. _No, I’ll try again. This time Hinata will see. Hope is like a light after all._ “Then… allow me to give you an example.  Let’s say you end up in a car accident and are hospitalized… On it’s own that would seem like bad luck, right?”  
  
“Well, yeah.”  
  
“BUt, then you met a lovely nurse at the hospital, and ended up becoming a lovey-dovey happy couple… Doesn’t this ending mean it was good luck?”  
  
“Well, maybe…”  
  
“You never would’ve met her at all if you hadn’t experienced the bad luck of getting in a car accident. Isn’t that right?”  
  
“...” Hinata shut his eyes again. He did not want to think about Komaeda getting burtalized by a car and dragged across the pavement. How easily Komaeda always accepted his own pain and misfortune always unnerved him because… well, even if he did not understand Komaeda it was not like he wanted to see him hurt. _What kind of person believes it’s necessary they have to be hurt._  
  
“That’s always been my experience. The bigger the bad luck I experienced at first… The good luck that comes afterwards is so big that it wipes out all of that bad luck.” Komaeda tried to smile again, he only wanted to focus on happy things, he only wanted to dwell in the light, to see the brilliance of others. It was while he forced that smile that a shadow whispered in his ear. _Has your good luck ever made you happy?_ Of course it has, it got him to Hope’s Peak. _Which you helped destroy._ It let him meet that class of transfer students that helped save Hope’s Peak. _Now you’re all stuck on this island about to kill each other._ It let him meet a new friend in Hinata who was so much like him. _But he hates you._ It was coming he was sure, the happy ending was coming. He just needed to endure the bad luck a little longer. He had already grown used to it already, this feeling of standing on a rotted old wooden boat lined up halfway between the shore and the water, eternally getting pushed back and forth by the waves, fearing the boat he was standing on might crack.  
  
Hinata’s voice cracked in concern as he searched for words. “Does… that really happen to you…?”  
  
“Didn’t I tell you? This is the talent I possess… That’s why I’m called the Ultimate Lucky Student.”  
  
_So that’s why no matter what happens, he’s always acting happy and upbeat…_ _  
_ _No matter who is killed.. It’s just overshadowed by good luck later._ _  
_ _Even though it’s only a little bit, I sort of understand Nagito’s belief._ _  
_ _… But he’s definitely messed up._ _  
_ _It’s hard to imagine there’ll be a day where we’re able to understand each other._

Komaeda spoke up interrupting his thoughts. “That’s why I think you should throw yourself into danger and discover what your Ultimate Talent really is.”  
  
“Wow, and we’re back on that. Talking to you is just like a carousel ride.”  
  
“Deciding not to play the game won’t do anything. Do you think Monokuma will just let it be?”  
  
“No… That’s…”  
  
“Even when the difficulties are in front of you, you don’t fight back. It’s not really Ultimate-like. You guys should fight despair.”  
  
“Komaeda… I already told you my resolve, I’m not going to let you deceive me or anyone else again.”  
  
“Hmmm? I’m not a liar like Kumagawa-kun, if anything I’m too honest. That’s my honest opinions, Ultimates are called Ultimates, because they fight and win even in no win situations.”

 

♛

 

“There’s no way I can win…this girl is stronger than Sakura-san.”

Mukuro said, as she jumped back from the girl guarding the arcade cabinet. Kurokami Medaka, as far as Ikusaba knew she was a friendly, and kind, yet brilliant younger sister to Naze Youka. It was not until she had challenged the other to a hand to hand fight she realized how terrifying she could be.  
  
She never once had raised a hand against her sister. All violence between them had always been inflicted one sided by Junko onto Mukuro, and Mukuro simply took it. In the past the only time anybody ever landed a hit on her was when she let her sister smack her around. However, in this moment she thought if she had seriously ever fought against her sister it might feel like this.  
  
“I apologize, but I need you to fall asleep right now. I can’t let you touch that game.”  After she said that, Medaka suddenly appeared behind Mukuro. She had known exactly where her blindspot was. To a normal person, it would’ve seemed like Medaka had suddenly vanished. After moving faster than any human being could see, Medaka’s equally fast hands launched a blow towards the back of Mukuro’s neck.

However…  
“Sorry Kurokami, but somebody put their faith in me…” Mukuro parried her fist with a spinning roundhouse kick, the kind she had seen Zenkichi employ several times. She hoped that would allow Medaka to block it easily and not be hurt too much.  
  
“Ngh…!” Medaka watched the unexpected counterattack, raising an eyebrow.  
  
Mukuro tried to use the momentum of her kick to sweep Medaka’s feet out from under her. However, Medaka dodged using her reflex skill and instinctively struck back against Mukuro’s pivot leg.

 _Amazing… she moves so fast even when chained to my sister with a limited range._ Despite conceding this to her opponent, Mukuro was faster, and jumped up aiming a tornado kick at Medaka’s chin. Medaka deflected the attack with one arm, and then both combatants lep back and glared at each other.  
  
That was their invitation, and as both combatants rocketed forward the blows they dealt to one another grew faster, and stronger. It was like a localized hurricane had come to the island, compressed to the width of the bridge they were standing on. Enoshima Junko watched in idle curiosity, at the dance of death unfolding before her. Anyone else may have been breathless, but her interest in such a spectacle of a real life shonen combat died the moment she predicted the result.

Ten minutes later, Junko decided to lay back and look at the clouds. She found them much more interesting then the sounds of her one and only sister in the world, getting beaten up.  
  
Medaka lept back again, breathing heavily as she stared the other down. “My mistake… I never noticed you as a fighter…You almost fight as good as second year Pekoyama.” The battle crazy side of Kurokami Medaka showed again as a smile crept onto her lips without her noticing. “It’s really to bad you’re not fighting seriously.”  
  
“Huh?” Mukuro thought she was giving it all she had. Peko had accused her of the same. “If we push it too far… we might get hurt.”  
  
“Fighting’s no fun without anything on the line…” Medaka said. Mukuro recognized that smile, it was the same smile of bloodlust that Junko grinned from ear to ear with. It sent a shiver down her spine seeing it on somebody else’s face. “Haven’t you ever fought to protect someone?”  
  
Mukuro glanced back at Junko who was not even looking at the fight. Mukuro remembered when the fight started, Junko had at least booed her, and rooted for Medaka to beat up her only sister. She preferred that to Junko looking away in disinterest. She looked at the sister who she had run away from home, and been forgotten by her parents to get stronger for. She looked at the sister who she was surrounded by firearms, blades, traps and explosives, during her time with Fenrir for. “No… I’ve never once fought to protect anyone. Only to kill.”

She could snipe Medaka from a distance or poison her. She could use an assault rifle at close range. However, there was no way to defeat this overwhelming person at close range without killing her. She was a girl who only knew how to kill. Even now when she was merely trying to buy time. Mukuro had just about given up. When she saw a flash of inspiration in Medaka’s eyes that looked just like the kind of shine that appeared when Junko had an idea. Another shock of fear went down her spine.  
  
“Fight me seriously, or else…” Kurokami Medaka suddenly appeared behind Enoshima Junko. She looped the chains around her neck, and pulled them tight. “If she’s the mastermind, it would be okay for me to kill her, right?”

“Hey, wait a second, what’s with this sudden twist? This is out of character,” Junko only complained mildly as she was suddenly dangling with a chain wrapped around her neck.  
  
Mukuro however, suddenly saw red. “I’ll kill you…Right here… Right now…”  She rushed forward suddenly, forgetting about everything else, she was just a killing machine with oily black hair, that moved so fast she looked like a moving shadow come to attack Medaka. She punched straight through the image of the girl, aiming directly for a fatal spot. When Mukuro thought she had succeeded suddenly…  
  
Medaka appeared behind her again and knocked her hard in the back of the neck. She recalled the time Kamakura had knocked her prone and barely able to get back on her feet in one hit. Nothing had changed since then.  
  
Kurokami Medaka laughed. “See, you can still fight for real.” As Mukuro faded from consciousness, she realized Kurokami had been toying with her from the start just hoping to enjoy the fight. The fact that they had been evenly matched earlier, was probably just Medaka lowering herself to her level. _Oh well, useless as usual._ Mukuro thought before blacking out.

When she regained consciousness, she secretly hoped she might see Makoto smile at her and tell her it was all a dream. However, all she saw was Kirigi, coming to meet her again when she finished her investigation just as they agreed. Mukuro the moment her eyes were open again, tried to recall as much as she could for a report. “She said… something about Pekoyama. I think, somebody else might have tried our strategy of distracting Kurokami-san so they can play the game.”  
  
“That’s okay, is your head feeling well?”  
  
“Hmm. It’s fine. Don’t worry about me we need to get back on topic. Did you find anything interesting in the game?”

“No, wait a moment.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“You did a good job holding Kurokami-san off. Thank you for putting yourself at risk.”  
  
“Huh? Why did you go out of your way to say that?” Mukuro was completely unused to hearing honest words of praise. Makoto tried to compliment her from time to time but she always misunderstood him, and this was the same. “What happened with the game?”

“Right…” Kyoko wondered if it was possible she had found a girl somehow raised to be even more cut off from her emotions than she was. This girl had almost become her enemy as well. The girl who kept up with Kurokami Medaka and moved so fast that even her trained detective eyes could not follow her. “The game itself is not too different from other novels of the killing game genre. Except for the fact that you, I, Junko and Makoto appear as characters within it.”  
  
“Then, it really is the first killing game that Junko and I planned. Uh… I’m sorry about that again.” Mukuro did not know what to say. Confronting the fact that you were going to force your classmates that you loved more than the world to kill each other, in front of one of those beloved classmates was no easy thing.  
  
“There’s no point in getting upset over it now.”  
  
“My sister can predict just about anything, maybe that’s how they made a fictional version of the first killing game. Oh, but uh… I still don’t think Junko is the mastermind.”  
  
“Mystery novels sometimes follow formulas. That killing game had really specific deaths each round. In the first round someone that seems important to the main characters dies, in the second the culprit has a shocking motive, in the third a double murder occurs and the culprit has a personality change nobody expected, in the fourth the culprit tried to save everyone, in the fifth the game is broken… is this a prediction for how this killing game will turn out? A pattern?”  
  
“How can there be a pattern if there’s only been one killing game before this that never really happened.”  
  
“You’re right…” Kyoko said, as she ran her gloved hand through her hair. “I can’t imagine why Monokuma thought that game would provoke us.”  
  
“Maybe we’re not the ones it’s meant to provoke…” Mukuro sat up and drew her knees up to her chest. “I’m worried it’s going to make people hate Junko even worse.”  
  
“Even after all that you’re still worried about your sister?”  
  
“You can’t help it with family you know…”  
  
“I suppose so…” Kirigiri said, as she thought of her name and the harsh grandfather who had driven her father away, and yet was all she had. “Are things going okay with Peko and you by the way after that fight you got in for my sake?”  
  
“Hmm, why are you so concerned about me Kirigri-san it’s strange. Peko and I have returned to ignoring each other, it’s easy to do when we’re both so quiet.”  
  
“Yes, but… I’m just worried if another fight broke out. Isn’t your cabin like covered in swords.”  
  
“They’re all fake, okay! You can’t kill somebody with a fake sword. I’m not doing anything dangerous, I just thought they looked cool…” Mukuro was exasperated once again defending her Military Otaku habits. 

  
  
♛

 

“Ugh, why did my boring sister have to fail yet again. She could have at least killed you and then let me go free from being chained from the most boring person on earth.” Enoshima Junko complained as she lagged behind Kurokami Medaka on their walk back.  
  
“You’re overusing the word boring again…” Kurokami said before looking back. “Your sister was willing to throw her vow away to kill people for your sake, don’t you feel anything at all about that?”  
  
“Pffffft, no. I never believed she was going to keep that vow for more than five minutes anyway. Leave it to my flakey ass sister.”  
  
“What do you mean flakey?” Kurokami kept her eyes on the other. Enoshima Junko was careful not to use her analysis, but Kurokami still felt she might be able to learn something from the other. However it was difficult, there was little that Enoshima’s mask betrayed about her true feelings. Unlike Kumagawa, Medaka was not good at prying away the masks of others either, or getting underneath their skin.

“Well like, once when we were fourteen she totally ditched me on a boring family vacation and went to join a terrorist group. Consider the kind of person who jumps at the chance to join a group like Fenrir and then lecture me again on how I should be nicer to my sister.”  
  
“I see… My sister did something similar. When she was much younger than this she suddenly disappeared without a trace. She then hid her face, erased her memories of us and severed all connections to live alone. I didn’t see her again until High School, and only then it was like we only ran into each other by chance.”  
  
“What did you do?”  
  
“I forgave her.”  
  
“Ugh, every time I think we might be totally similar you make me totally regret comparing someone cool to me to someone lame like you.”

“Enoshima might I ask you something? Every time you are around your sister, you complain about her presence, and make it as difficult as possible for her to be around you.”  
  
“Yeah, no duh. I have to make sure to stay out of Mukuro’s stink radius.”  
  
“Yet, when she ran away for three years it obviously bothered you.”  
  
“Only because it was dumb, how exactly is disappearing to some place where I can’t see her protecting me?”  
  
“It seems like you’re just bothered by the mere idea of your sister, no matter what she does. In fact, you bully Kumagawa Misogi the same way.”  
  
“It’s because they’re just disappointments. They always fail no matter what. Disappointment is technically breaking my expectations, but it’s not like it’s exciting or anything, it’s just a let down.”  
  
“No… I think it’s something else. I always hated it, how much I stood above others, how easily things came for me. It made me completely unable to understand the struggles of others, to feel how they felt. Is that… it. Are you jealous, of how much Kumagawa and Mukuro struggle and feel failure?”

At that, Enoshima Junko broke into laughter.

  
Watching her and listening to a chorus of Upupus, Medaka’s expression flattened. “Fine, keep your comedian’s mask on. I swear, Kumagawa’s feelings are wasted on you.”

♛

  
Fuyuhiko had pulled up a chair next to the injured Zenkichi’s bed again. Zenkichi occasionally prodded him with questions but the Ultimate Yakuza was an unsociable as ever. After a long stoic silence, he finally brought up a question out of nowhere. “Hey, Zenkichi… Is there any woman who’s important to you?”  
  
“Wh-what kind of question is that?” Zenkichi responded, taken off guard.  
  
“It’s fine… Do you have one or not?” Fuyuhiko was as firm as ever.  
  
“Ummm… Well, my mom is really important to me, but most important of all is Medaka-chan.”  
  
At Zenkichi’s innocence at mentioning his mom, Fuyuhiko chuckled briefly looking like an od veteran of the syndicate. “Heh, you’re such a kid. Make sure to be a son alright, brat? You need to take good care of Medaka as well, even if she’s stronger than you you should work to stand beside her on your own as an equal.”  
  
“Yeah… that’s what I’ve always wanted.” Zenkichi still feeling light headed from his loss of blood, reached up as if he were grasping some intangible thing.  
  
“Weird, didn’t think I’d have so much in common with a softie like you. But… you shouldn’t be too much like me okay? I’ve lost an important woman.”  
  
Kumagawa was sitting in the corner of the room, observing the conversation. 『I’m sorry, I’ve lost everyone ever important to me except for one… that’s why I can’t ever lose her no matter what. This time around... this time for sure…  it must be even more shameful for you since you’re supposed to be a strong person.』

“I’m sorry for him he doesn’t know how to talk without annoying others, and I’m sorry about… Medaka-chan is so precious to me I can’t imagine how hard it must be living on without someone after having lost them.”

『I can.』  
  
“Whoa there, don’t feel sorry for me. I’m just checking up on you to make sure you don’t bleed to death. It’s not like I wanted to make this awkward. But, if my sister was still alive, I’d really want you guys to meet her. You’d probably be… shocked.”  
  
“If you put it like that… she must’ve been one hell of a sister. I’m sure even Maguro-kun would think so.” Zenkichi said, trying to smile and join in on fond memories, unlike Kumagawa who could only ever see the loss in situations like this.  
  
“Do you know what my sis’s Ultimate talent was? She was the Ultimate Little Sister? Isn’t that funny?”

『If that’s a talent, can I declare Ultimate Loser as my talent?』  
  
“Oh no, I think Maguro-kun might declare you a rival actually. How was she an awesome little sister?”  
  
“It’s hard to put into words exactly… Anyway, she was definitely an amazing sister. She was always making a fool out of me, but it was always cute when she’d need my help. Plus… if she cooked fried noodles during the temple festival, a huge line would form outside the temple… And she got an insane number of contracts from hand towel companies, y’know? She was self centered, selfish...extremely arrogant… But even so, she had this subtle way of making people do what she wanted. She definitely deserved to be called the Ultimate Yakuza… Within the clan… she was even called the reincarnation of my uncle, who was the most powerful of the Kuzuryus.”

“The most powerful of the Kuzuryus… Whoa that sounds like something that would show up in a manga.”  
  
“It’s before my time so I don’t really know the details, but… Apparently… he was known as the “Overlord of the South.” They say his final confrontation with the detective who was pursuing him nearly destroyed the world. Well, that’s obviously just a rumor.”

『Are you sure about that? I can think of another showdown between a detective and a cute villain that almost destroyed the world...』  
  
“ Well anyway, she was a really annoying little sister who pissed me off.. But even so… she was the only little sister I eer had. Even when a faction of the Kuzuryu Clan wanted to make her our next leader… She said this. I don’t want to lead the lan. The reason I’m so amazing is because I’m your sister’... Heh she said that even though she was better than me at everything.”  
  
Zenkichi thought Fuyuhiko was reflecting on a happy memory. “To you, your sister must’ve truly been the Ultimate Little Sister.”  
  
“Heh maybe. But still, when she said that to me, I couldn’t accept it. All I could do was yell at her and say ‘You lead! I can live by myself! Just… how small… was I…” Fuyuhiko’s arms had been crossed, and he gripped the fabric of the inside of his suit so hard he looked like he was going to tear it. “That’s why this time for sure… I have to make sure I don’t lose the other woman most precious to me.”  
  
“Fuyuhiko... “

『It’s not your fault.』 Kumagawa finished what Zenkichi started.  
  
“Tch… Why am I even talking to you about this…? It’s probably… you know… that harmless looking face of yours, and his face doesn’t look like anything at all.”  
  
“Is that a compliment of insult?” Zenkichi said, raising a hand to touch his soft cheeks. He had always thought he had a hard and manly look to him to scare off enemy’ from Medaka’s side, but apparently everybody else in the whole world thought differently.

『Actually, I’ve heard a lot worse than that. That’s really nice by my standards.』  
  
“WHo knows? Well anyway, sorry about that. I was supposed to check on your injury but I got all sentimental and shit.”  
  
“I don’t really mind. If you think I look like someone who’s easy to talk to, then I’ll listen to you as much as you want.”  
  
“Tch, don’t act like hot shit, you two virgins.”

『Actually, I’m not...』

“Wait seriously? Where’s the fairness in that…”

As Kumagawa walked Fuyuhiko outside once more, they were greeted by Tsumiki Mikan. She quickly ran and buried her face in Kumagawa’s chest. “I’m sorry there’s nothing much I can do about Hitoyoshi-kun’s condition. If you’re frustrated you can take it out on me.”

『It’s not your fault, Mikan-chan.』He reached out once again to pat Mikan on the head, only for Mikan to flinch just for a moment as she saw his hand come closer. He hesitated waiting until she was okay with it to pat her head on the head. 『Mikan-chan is doing her best for others, even though she’s just a weak and useless minus with a bad personality.』

“I haven’t done anything praise worthy…” She said, clearly fishing for more praise.

『Yes, you did. You spied on Fuyu-chan for me after all and then told me all about his little gathering of the Ultimate Despairs.』  
  
Fuyuhiko was still right next to Kumagawa. He scowled at that moment, “How good do you feel about yourself, using somebody like Tsumiki like that?”

Kumagawa stuck his tongue back at Fuyuhiko.『Dunno. What does it feel like going back to using Peko-chan as your tool again? 』

“...Tch.”

『Sorry, Fuyu-chan. It’s true Zenkichi-chan and I are both quite useless and insignificant, but unlike him I’m a big meanie. So you shouldn’t play around with me if you’re not prepared. Listening to you talk about the hells of the Yakuza world as if you’ve really had it the worst here, it seriously made me laugh knowing I’ve endured worse than you and, I didn’t have some big Yakuza family name to give me pride or protect me though.』

“Piss off. I don’t want to sympathize with a person like you.”

『That’s fair. You’re Mikan’s precious classmate so take care of yourself Fuyu-chan, and make sure to fight hard so you don’t turn into a person who's lost everything like me.』

♛

Still unable to solve his dilemma about Pekoyama, Hinata went looking for advice. However, besides Pekoyama and Komaeda there really was only one person to talk to on the island. For some reason it felt weird to him going to Chiaki to ask about another girl, but he decided not to think too hard about it an easy feat for him.  
  
In looking for Chiaki though he ended up finding the worst person possible. Kumagawa Misogi had waved to get his and Komaeda’s attention. 『Hihi. Did you two kiss and make up yet? 』

“There’s no way Hinata-kun would want to kiss a person like me, you should apologize to Hinata-kun for implying that.” Komaeda said, looking offended for Hinata’s sake.  
  
Hinata did not even pick up on the implication. “No, that guy is still impossible. So, earlier when you were talking about how Komaeda was a minus did you mean his good luck and bad luck.”

『Yep! A minus is somebody who endures terrible circumstances through life and copes.』

“So you have good luck and bad luck too?”

『Haha! Nope! If I occasionally was blessed with good luck like Nagito-chan I probably would have been spoiled and turned out as weak as he did.』Kumagawa pointed to his smiling face that stayed that way even as he described the dark circumstances of his life. 『I’m the Ultimate Loser. No matter what happens, I always lose. 』  
  
“Always lose…?”  
  
『Here, I’ve got an example flip a coin and I’ll call it.』  
  
Komaeda offered Hinata a coin. When Hinata flipped it, Kumagawa called it wrong. He flipped it ten more times, only for Kumagawa to be wrong each consecutive time.

『I know let’s try rock paper scissors instead.』  
  
When the three boys tried rock paper scissors, Kumagawa lost every round even when they played ten times. At the same time, Komaeda won every single time.

『I was born under an unlucky star, I’ve never even felt hope once in my life. No matter what, I keep losing, well that stuff about being born under a star is just a lie it's probably just my fault.』

"You look a little sad dude..." 

『Ah, is my comedian's mask slipping?』

“But… eventually something good happens to you right to justify all the pain you’ve endured?’

『Haha! Nope!』

Hinata remembered how Komaeda believed in hope as an absolute savior. “Then… what do you believe in?”

『There’s nothing to believe in. There’s no need to believe.』Kumagawa put his hands in his pockets. 『The world is meaningless, humans are born with no purpose, live for no reason, and die for nothing. Because this world is pointless, and our lives are aimless.』

 _There’s something familiar about those words..._ Hinata tried to push Kumagawa away. “So, you believe in despair like Junko then? Quit trying to sound edgy you sound ridiculous.”

『Ridiculous? I have an embarrassment of ridiculous? Tragic comedy, after tragic comedy, that’s been my life. Even now, it’s just the same thing over and over losing the same people over and over. 』  
  
“Then… what kind of ending do you believe in?”

『Hmm… I dunno. I just want everybody to smile at the end. I don’t know what the reasons people smile for, and I don’t understand happiness myself, but I like it when others smile. If they’re smiling because of hope or despair that doesn’t really matter to me. Then, I want to stand among them too smiling, I want to have won the right to be there. 』Kumagawa turned around and looked back at Hinata. 『That’s why I think you’re a good guy, Hajime-chan. You’re good at making other people smile. I hope you can keep making Nagito-chan smile.』

 _Why do I care if somebody like you thinks I’m a good guy._ Hinata glared at him. “I’ll make him smile for real, not like the fake smiles that you always make.” Suddenly, Hinata remembered something. “Don’t go giving Pekoyama relationship advice okay, she doesn’t need to listen to a trickster like you.”

『Huh? What’s wrong with me giving relationship advice? I’m the only one on this island who actually has experience with that sort of thing... 』

Hinata’s expression immediately fell. “Where’s the fairness in that…”

『Why do people keep saying that… Besides, I’m Peko-chan’s childhood friend.』  
  
“Wait, what, really!?”

『No, that was just a lie.  Well, here’s my advice. Don't overthink it! If you like someone, just being by their side is enough where-ever you end up. Even in a killing game! She smiles at really unsavory things, and at my suffering, but that's just her being herself. Junko is true to her desires, always just being herself, when I think about that I smile. Sometimes I think... she smiles when I'm being my loser self too. Well that’s your free advice for today, next one is ten million yen. Bye Bye!』He said waving as he walked away turning his back on them and then putting both of his hands in his pockets as he walked away.

“That’s why you should not listen to trash like him, Hinata-kun. If a guy like that won or got what he wanted, it’d be the worst ending for everyone…” Komaeda growled, only after he had left.  
  
Only when he was gone did Hinata notice what was bothering him. Kumagawa and Komaeda had both described their philosophies to him. Kumagawa’s was much darker, much more empty sounding and yet. For some reason when Komaeda described hope, he was frenzied, obsessive, he looked even more troubled and pushed by the edge by something that was meant to soothe him. However, as Kumagawa described his empty philosophy he was smiling pleasantly as always, he almost seemed calmer.  
  
As if hope was something that chained Komaeda’s heart, and emptiness was freedom for Kumagawa. It would make more sense if it was the other way around though, Hajime thought.  
  
“Is something wrong, Hinata-kun? You’ve been staring at my face for quite some time.” Komaeda said with a pleasant voice.  
  
“Nah, it’s just pissing me off like usual.” Hinata turned away suddenly and went looking somewhere else, dragging Komaeda behind him.

Before he could think about it too long he finally found Chiaki, sleeping in the main room of the restaurant.

“Samurai head… Statue of Liberty… Ah, don’t shoot the beam there… This is bad… Zombie Nation… Eating up humans…”

_How does she always fall asleep so easily…  
_

Suddenly, she woke up and started to wipe at her eye. “Ah, sorry… I think I was sleeping again. I didn’t get any sleep last night.”

  
“Were you playing a video game in your dream, too?”  
  
“Yeah, it was fun cuz it was a shooting game.”  
  
“I see, so you like those kinds of games.”  
  
“I’m pretty all-inclusive. I’ll play anything from Space Invaders to the latest military shooters. Ah, I also like simulation games… Right now I mainly play real-time strategy games, but I like turned based ones too…I play them mostly at night though because it’s better than sleeping.” SHe tilted her head at him. “...So, where do you want to go today?”  
  
Hinata balled up his fist and let it rest underneath his chin. “Y-yeah… umm… how abut we go to the ranch today?”  
  
“I don’t really like… animals that much…”  
  
“Huh..? Really?”  
  
“They’re warm when you touch them, you know? That’s a little scary. It’s kinda hard to guess what they’ll do next. I’m better at games that use precise calculations, where success and failure is decided by numerical values. But.. it’s hard for me to play games where I have to manage relationships and guess what characters are feeling.”  
  
“I see…” _I knew it was a bad idea to ask Chiaki for relationship advice._

“Why is your face so red right now, Hinata-kun?” Komaeda said, suddenly appearing at his side.  
  
“Please shut up for once in your life, Komaeda.”  
  
“Still, of course the Ultimate Gamer would be able to reduce video games down to numbers like that at the root of her talent, she sees the world differently than us.” Komaeda smiled at her, twisting his finger in a lock of his white hair. “You shouldn’t sell yourself short, Nanami-san was also our class rep. She was our greatest hope.”  
  
“You don’t need to describe me like that…” Chiaki looked away uncomfortable.  
  
“Come on, I’ll go with you, and I’ll make sure he doesn’t say anything weird. How about we look at the animals from far away? The ones at the ranch are pretty tame. You can even try to touch them if it looks safe.” Hinata said as he offered a hand out to her. When Komaeda looked almost jealous at the closeness the two of them had, Hinata extended his hand as well. “Come on you.”  
  
“I couldn’t possibly think about staining the hand of an Ultimate with my unworthy-”  
  
“Offer is being rescinded in five, four, three, two…”  
  
Komaeda eagerly took his hand at the last moment. The three of them made their way to the farm.

“If you’re there, it’ll probably be okay… I think. You’re the best at interacting gently with others that’s what I think…”  
  
_Is she relying on me?_ _  
_ _That makes me happy._

When they got close enough to a cow, Chiaki let go of his hand walked up close to it to try petting it on the back. The cow ignored her, silently eating grass.  
  
“Wow! It’s really warm!” Chiiaki said, bringing her hands in front of her in excitement.  
  
“Yeah, I think it’s warm too…” Komaeda commented.  
  
Hinata looked back at Komaeda still holding onto his hand. “You can let go too, you know.”  
  
Komaeda did not.

“So you’re right, Hinata-kun. Unlike humans… animals don’t mind being touched that much. So that might make it easier for me. If you touch a person, something is born from that interaction, right? Repulsion, anticipation, whatever… I’m… nervous about stuff like that. It makes me think I’m better off at doing something unnecessary. I always just want things to be perfect, like 100% completion.”  
  
_I understand where she’s coming from._ Hinata reflected as he thought how he had analyzed the situation with Peko all day back and forth in his mind all day long, terrified to make the wrong move with her. “Nanami-san... “  
  
“That’s why I like you so much, Hinata-kun. No matter how badly you screw up with people, or how dumb you are when it comes to understanding them you always keep trying.’  
  
“Nanami-san now it sounds like you’re insulting me…” Hinata said, but, her words comforted him a little bit. Even if he did not get direct advice, he felt like he knew what he would say to Peko finally.

♛

He had half convinced himself that he was somebody important to Peko, even her childhood friend, just because he had spent all this time desiring to be someone important. He would have anything to have his missing memories replaced.  
  
Perhaps, too he was sparked on by Komaeda who had challenged him to play the arcade machine a challenge he had ignored. The same Komaeda who had agreed to hide behind a tree and pretend like his conversation with Peko now was private.  
  
“Hajime, umm… about our previous matter.” Peko spoke up.  
  
“Y-yeah…?”  
  
_S-so the time has finally come…_ _  
_ _I-I don’t know why; but… my heart is racing like crazy…!_

“This place is no good let’s talk somewhere else.”  
  
He followed Peko until they both arrived at the beach. This time Komaeda found a different palm tree to hide behind. They were completely alone. Peko started to blush once more.

_Peko’s blushing. She looks like she wants to say something but she’s keeping silent._

_This is it… There’s no question…_ _  
_ _I should man up and say it first…_ _  
_ _I…_

However, the moment he tried to summon them the words were caught in his throat. “Umm… I’m just going to ask you outright. What do you want me to do?” _Uncool. What kind of coward indirectly confesses like this._

“Y-yes, of course… Actually… I-I was wondering if you could give me advice on asking someone out on a date.”  
“D-date!?”  
  
“F-fool! Don’t say it out loud! What would happen if someone heard us!?”  
  
“Well, Komaeda is right there hiding behind that tree.”  
  
“What would happen if somebody that mattered heard us.”  
  
“M-may I ask who you’re interested in?”  
  
”I can’t say that. However, you’re the only one I can ask for help with this. I beg of you… Consider it a big favor to me... “ She said, closing her eyes solemnly. In that moment, Hinata realized he had never been reflecting in those eyes to begin with, she was not looking at him. For some reason, being unseen bothered him a lot.

 _Th-the only thing I know for certain is…_ _  
_ _The person she wants to ask out… isn’t me…_ _  
_ _Ha… haha…_ _  
_ _Well… That’s obvious.. I-I knew it…_ _  
_ _Even if we were getting along… There’s no way someone like Peko would ask me._ _  
_ He wondered why he felt so disappointed, perhaps, it would have been a little less lonely, and he would have felt a little more secure if he turned out to be Peko’s childhood friend after all. He could just focus on her above all others, instead of trying to please eeverybody.  
  
“I want to ask him out tomorrow. And when I do… I want him to see my smiling face this time.”  
  
“This time…? Do you mean… your childhood friend?”

“Right now… he’s been forced to fight a lonely battle… A battle against himself.”  
  
_A battle against himself? Why does Peko always phrase things so coolly, nothing I say ever sounds that cool..._ “Fine… I got it… I’m not all that experienced myself, but… I think it’s fine if you don’t overthink it and just casually ask him, ‘Let’s do something together.’ You want him to smile, right? You just have to make him feel like smiling.” _I can’t believe I’m taking that guy’s advice._ _  
_ _  
_ “I-It’d be great if I could do that, but… I don’t know if I can…”  
  
“Hmm… Then…” Hinata pretended to think. “Why don’t you imagine his smiling face?”  
  
“His… smiling face…? I see now that you mention it, I remember this one incident. At the time… He had a really handsome smile.” She said, as a smile spread across her lips that could charm the heart of almost anyway.

 _Jeez. I guess Peko does know how to smile._ “That’s it… As long as you make that face when you ask him out, there’s no way he’d say no to you.”  
  
“Hajime… Even though it’s only a little, I feel like I understand now. Smiling is not something you have to force. When your heart gets warm, smiles come to you naturally, but sometimes to feel that warmth, you smile anyway. I was too desperate to protect something… So I had completely forgotten about something as simple as that. Thank you. Thank you for making me remember… that which is most important to me. This time for sure I'll...” Even though she was lacking in several things as a person, she had finally found something besides her young master to protect. In her mind without even realizing it, she had made up her mind to protect this person in front of her too if worst came to worst.  
  
“No… I really didn’t do much… By the way, which incident did you remember?”  
  
A small smile spread across Peko’s face again. “It’’s something that happened when we were kids. We went to the zoo and he ended up picking a fight with the king of the monkeys… To protect him, I threw myself into the fray.”

As peko reminsced about her childhood friend, she looked cuter than he had ever seen her before.  
_I’m a little jealous of her friend… But, I guess this is fine.. Too._

"Somebody who just smiles at you being yourself... a smile that makes you feel warm...Peko's so lucky to have that." Hinata and Komaeda watched Peko leave again in the distance as she departed. Hinata looked to Komaeda. “Do you feel warm when you smile?”  
  
“No, not really… but sometimes when I’m talking to you… I feel…”

Before he could finish that sentence, Hinata looked down to what was in his hands. “Why did she give me her underwear though? That doesn’t make any sense…Is this some weird Hope’s Peak Academy tradition I forgot about?”  
  
In the distance, Peko finally caught up with Fuyuhiko who just happened to be walking by. As she leaned down to talk with him, without thinking, a smile spread across her face. Even oblivious Hinata, somehow made the connection in his mind.  
  
His immediate reaction was to throw the underwear away. “Oh my god Kuzuryuu’s going to kill me. I don’t want to get out of bed tomorrow.”  
  
“Don’t worry Hinata-kun, I don’t want you… your hope… to die in this game.. At least that’s what I’m hoping. I’m sure tomorrow will be just as hope filled as all the other days.” As usual Komaeda would turn out to be wrong.


	13. My Impurest Heart for You (6 Corpse x Bloom)

The sun was high in the air. Hinata felt like he was suddenly in the middle of a showdown that one would find in a gang movie. Kuzuryuu had called out to meet him all alone in a private place. However, this time Hinata was smart enough to know he was not going to get confessed to.

 _I don't want to die. I don’t want to die._ _  
_ _I’m sorry I jump to conclusions it’s my character flaw._

He thought his heart racing as he felt what it was like to be on the end of Fuyuhiko’s harsh glare. He did not know somebody with such a baby face was capable of making such a mean look. For a moment Hinata wanted to hide behind the tall Komaeda who was standing right next to him, but he figured Komaeda would probably be too thin to properly hide him. When Fuyuhiko started to scratch behind his head and speak up, Hinata’s blood ran cold.

“Hey, Hajime… I think you’re pretty awesome, y’know. When it comes to me and others, at least we know where our confidence is coming from. But you… That part of you is missing… But despite that, you did your best and helped Peko. So thank you.”

 _Huh?_ _  
_ _He’s thanking me?_

Hinata scratched at his cheek. “You’re giving me way too much credit. I’m just trying to endure everything the best I can.”

  
“That’s what I’m talking about. You’re basically worthless but you’ve been able to endure a lot this far. In the past, there was a time when all I did was blindly rush forward without thinking things through.”  
  
“I would never bumble through a situation without thinking things through and just making things up as I go along, you’re right about that.” Hinata spoke up, suddenly in denial.

  
Behind him, Komaeda tilted his head and curled a finger at his lips. “It’s not nice to lie you know, Hinata-kun. Unless lying is your talent.”  
  
Hinata’s head suddenly snapped back. “Hey, I know sometimes you passive aggressively insult others without them noticing it, but I caught you this time so quit it you.”

  
“Oh, Hinata-kun you caught on. You’re a faster learner than I thought. Another sign of your potential as an Ultimate Talent.”  
  
Fuyuhiko was trying to thank Hinata because he really did owe the guy, but he really lacked patience for others. His thin eyebrow twitched as he listened to two bicker before speaking over them again. Even though he considered it rude to speak out of turn in a proper conversation between men. “Anyway. In the end it changed who I was permanently, I can’t take that back… I’m glad something like that hasn’t happened to you yet.”  
  
“This is heavy stuff…” Hinata said, detecting the mood. Unlike Komaeda who was still smiling behind him. He glared back at Komaeda once again taking his attention off of Fuyuhiko.

Fuyuhiko stared into his empty palm. “I wasn’t able to do a thing for Peko even though I’ve always been by her side, but a few short conversations and she started to smile again just a little bit.” Despite having that confidence he was bragging about earlier, that empty hand began to shake. “She asked me on a date you know… I don’t know yet… if I’m worthy of her.”

 _There’s no need to brag you get to date a wonderful girl like Peko._ _  
_ _Really.. This is just rubbing it in._ _  
_ _Wait, didn’t Peko say that he was fighting a battle against himself?_

 _Ugh… I should just be jealous but now I feel bad for him. Why am I like this?_  
  
Hinata took a step forward and grabbed Fuyuhiko by the shoulders, directly meeting the eyes of the glare that he thought would kill him a moment ago. “Fuyuhiko… if you really think I’m that great then I’ll help you on your date with Peko, okay? I can like, follow you guys and give advice. We could even pretend it’s a group date if you’re scared of being alone with her. I’m sure things will work out okay… you’re… the guy Peko likes after all…”  
  
“Wow, that got really cringe worthy towards the end.” Komaeda  cupped his hands around his mouth and called out to Hinata in the background.  
  
“What is up with you, you’re extra snippy today.” Hinata said swiveling his head back again.  
  
Fuyuhiko’s eyes blinked as he started to process what Hajime said. There he was relying on others again. He really could not stand on his own two feet after all this time. “Huh… Uh, yeah… I’m sure if you there were she’d be happy. Hajime… that part of you may be missing, but I think there’s still something there… You’re not empty okay? Because you were able to talk to Peko, the time that was frozen for her started to move forward again. That’s it, maybe your talent is the Ultimate Counselor.”

His head rotated around once more, revealing his mouth hanging open and eyebrows twisted in an exapserated expression. “What the heck…? I don’t want a talent like that. That sounds like it’d be stressful.” Hinata imagined for a moment all of the other ultimates coming to him with their problems and complaining, and even though that was basically what he had been doing this entire round, his expression worsened and worsened.  
  
“Haha, I think it’s totally perfect for you. You might have to compete with Hitoyoshi though, he’s just as easy to talk to as you are.”

“What? I just got that title, and I’m already starting to lose to somebody else..” Hinata said, letting his expression fall and feeling inferior again.  
  
“Anyway, let’s meet at the Diner Later okay? You can pretend to be the wait staff or whatever. Put on a fake moustache it’ll be the perfect crime.”  
  
“Uh… yeah… I’m sure that will work.” _Doesn’t this guy run a crimminal syndicate he should be able to plan something better than that._ “You know Komaeda’s gonna come attached to me, right?”  
  
“Can’t you just like cut his hand off?”  
  
“No! I thought the Yakuza only cut off fingers not entire hands!”

“I’d gladly give you my hand if you asked it, Hinata-kun.”  
  
“That’s not nearly as romantic in context as it sounds! Stop forcing me to be the sense of self preservation between the two of us.” Hinata snapped at Komaeda again.  
  
“Hey, be careful with this suit it’s dry clean only, sweaty hands.” Fuyuhiko sighed, as he rubbed the lightly buzzed hair on the top of his head. “Well, maybe you’re right we should call it a group date to make Peko less nervous. Invite whoever you want! I’ll see you later, I’ve just got one last thing to take care of today. Then… we can start over fresh. Hitoyoshi and me, Hinata and Peko. Damn this is the first time I’ve actually given a shit about making friends. Shoot me if I start getting this sappy ever again.”  
  
“Please don’t ask me to do that…” Hinata said, fear creeping into his voice.  “Wait, what about my hands… they’re not sweaty…” He let go of Fuyuhiko’s suit and wondered if his sweaty hands  why Komaeda kept commenting his hands were warm yesterday.  
  
“Don’t worry Hinata-kun, if you wanted to murder Kuzuryuu-san I’d be willing to help you, just ask me.”  He played with his fingers nervously while averting his eyes. “I want to be… somebody… that Hinata-kun can rely on while everybody else relies on him…”

“Don’t sound so earnest while you’re casually discussing murder!” Hinata snapped again, grabbing Komaeda by the jacket this time to pull him closer and get in his face. From the exasperation Hinata was feeling, his face turned red, and from the closeness of Hinata suddenly Komaeda’s face turned red, but Hinata did not notice as he thought the other was just angry from their bickering like he was.  
  
Fuyuhiko, witness to all of this decided to leave the two bickering idiots alone before it got any worse, shaking his head as he did so.

 

♛

 

 _The ultimate councillor, huh?_ _  
_ _Maybe that’s my role here._ _  
_ _I can help everybody reconcile and the killing game will never start again._

Hinata had been avoiding the killing game up until this point, even with Komaeda’s frequent pesterings. Even Monokuma despite his daily announcements had gone rather silent. Hinata silently hoped they might just all forget about the killing game and live like this for now.

_Living on a tropical island for the rest of my days, even if I don’t remember who I am, I could start again now that I’ve found my place among these people… That wouldn’t be so bad, right?_

Apparently, it was not as hard to get close to others as he feared. Somebody terrifying like Fuyuhiko had thanked him. He had gotten close enough to Peko to mistake his feelings for a childish crush.  
  
Even Komaeda, Hinata was starting to feel like he could do something for the other boy always by his side. _It’s fine since… We’re always together anyway whether we want to be or not… I guess I can keep listening to him..._ He thought rather naively.

All of those were his vague hopes for the future though. At the moment he had to find somebody other than Komaeda to come with him on Fuyuhiko and Peko’s group date. If he was there with Komaeda they would just argue the whole time and ruin the atmosphere, they needed a buffer. Hinata really only had one other friend on the island besides Peko though.

  
As he sat there thinking while standing next to Chiaki in the hotel lobby, she suddenly got in his face again bringing her hands up in curled excited fists in front of his face. “Hey, hey where do you want to go today?”  
  
_This is the first time I’ve seen Chiaki look so interested… And… She’s not even sleeping. Maybe she was looking forward to seeing me again…_ Hinata thought for a moment, before he remembered the conclusion he had jumped to with Peko and overcorrected himself. _Nah, there’s nobody who would look forward to seeing a blank space kind of guy like me._ “Let’s see… Why don’t we go check out the storage room in the old building? We might find something interesting.”  
  
Suddenly, Chiaki’s eyes lit up again as she began talking faster than normal rattling off a game reference. “Like Sokoban.. That’s a fun game to play. It’s this old puzzle game where you have to push boxes in a warehouse to their assigned spots.”  
  
He led her there, Komaeda following behind them. With the three of them in the dusty storage room it was a hard fit, Hinata was glad Komaeda was so skinny he did not take up much space.

“Hmmm, there’s not a lot where you can push and pull.” Chiaki said as she pushed against one of the crates. She was rather small and the only thing she lifted in her life was a game console so, the crate refused to budge.

 _Don’t tell me she was serious? No wonder she was so excited about coming here. Well, I was right not to get my hopes up about her wanting to spend time with me._ Hinata leaned over her, and very easily picked up the crate. It’s not that he had ever particularly devoted himself to developing himself physically in life, he just happened to have a naturally firm and well built body, not to mention tall. He did not think too hard about where these physical abilities had come from. When he managed to pick the crate up, both Komaeda and Chiaki gasped in surprise. “Where do you want me to put this? I can still rearrange things a little bit even if there’s not much room.”  
  
“Hey… can you lift that again?” Chiaki asked, pixellated stars in her eyes.  
  
“Yeah, like… with your back turned to us so we can see your muscles at work…” Komaeda’s eyes were glimmering bright with hope.  
  
Not understanding what either of them were talking about he put the crate back down. When Chiaki asked though, he lifted her up and let her sit on the crate. She idly kicked her legs. “Hey, Hajime, are you good at puzzle games?”  
  
“Nah, I’m not that good at using my brain.”

In the background, Komaeda suppressed a giggle. “D-don’t worry, Hinata-kun. There are plenty of talents that are based around developing the body, you still could have one of those.”

“Oi, the guy whose constantly saying brainless stuff like ‘Please kill me so we can make hope sparkle sparkle’ shouldn’t be judging others.”  
  
“Huh, really? Maybe you just don’t like them because you haven’t played that many? You know how to properly theorize in order to view things, and you can calmly manage when it’s important… I feel like you’d be good at puzzle games once you got the hang of it.”

 _Huh? You really see me like that…? Th-that kind of emarrasses me._ Hinata’s surly mood from Komaeda’s remark immediately calmed down, and he looked away his face turning red.  
  
“You’re a little bit easy to please, aren’t you Hinata-kun.” Komaeda said, as he crossed his arms looking at the other.  
  
“Snippy! You’re definitely being snippy! Am I the only one who hears this?” Hinata said, looking to Chiaki.

“You probably are, Hinata-kun. I got really good at tuning Komaeda out when we were classmates it’s the only way to deal with him. Anyway, Rubik’s cubes and jigsaw puzzles are puzzle games, too.”

Hinata blinked, as the scene in front of him suddenly became familiar. He was standing in a room covered in junk, the floor absolutely littered with things he had thrown away. Puzzles, books left half open, toys that were smashed, all of them carelessly left their on the floor. That time, in that room he had been completely alone. Not only was he alone, but he felt alone, like he was the only person that existed in the whole world. He had no idea, why such a terrifying scene had suddenly come over him but it made him glad there were two people with him right now. He scratched at his cheek, hoping that memory was just from a nightmare or something and playing it off like nothing had happened. “Oh, yeah. I remember putting together a lot of puzzles and solving Rubik’s cubes easily. I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

“Yep, yep, then you already know the trick...”

“Assemble from the outer pieces, right?”  
  
“That’s right… firs you separate the pieces with edges. Afterwards, you separate the leftovers by color. It makes putting it together a lot easier.”

Hinata looked at the room in front of him. He tried to pretend it was a puzzle, like that game of stacking crates Chiaki told him about. WHen he thought about it that way, the room beame extremely easy to sort through. He could already picture a way better and more efficient way to store all these items, and the route to rearranging the crates that would achieve that. However, this mental exercise just left him feeling empty again. “I see… In the past solving puzzles wasn’t fun for me at all, but I kinda feel like putting one together it’s been such a long time.”  
  
“Ah, that reminds me… I had a friend who was really good at solving puzzles.”  
  
“Really?”

“Yeah, we played games together a lot but it felt like I was the only one who was having fun. I really wanted him to smile so I said I’d play any game with him he wanted, but in the end I never got him to smile.”

 _Don’t tell me I lost out again to another childhood friend._ Hinata’s shoulders slumped, as he reluctantly said. “Ah… I see…”

“Come on Hinata-kun, a hope that gives up this easily is weak…” Komaeda said putting a hand on his back. Hinata genuinely could not tell if Komaeda was trying to be encouraging or not.  
  
“Man… I’m trying to learn from my past mistakes.”  
  
“When I’m talking to you, you remind me of him.”

When she said that, Hinata’s head quickly rose up again as well as the meter of his mood. “Really? Is it because I’m fun to be around?” He remembered both Peko’s and Fuyuhiko’s words, and his hopes for a role in this group.  
  
“No, you’re just as grumpy as him.”  
  
“Ah.. okay…” _Is she insulting me again?_ Hinata said as his expectations plummeted once more. His emotions were starting to become a roller coaster, he wondered if this is how Komaeda felt all the time. _  
_ _  
_ “Wait, there’s somewhere else I want to go. Is that okay? Can we take two trips in one day? It’s no trouble right?”  
  
“Yeah… of course. Anywhere is fine. I promised you after all.”   _This is the first time Chiaki has picked a place herself. My heart is starting to race._ Hinata had completely forgotten about asking the favor he wanted of Chiaki in their conversation, so this time for sure he needed to work up the courage to ask her.  
  
He blamed Komaeda for it, something about the other boy kept distracting him. However, Hinata just chalked it up to Komaeda’s naturally irritating appearance, behavior, and well everything else.

 

♛ _  
  
_

The three of them had gathered on the beach. Hinata remembered the first day they all came to this island when he washed up on shore, Komaeda found him, and the three of them almost swam together and had a good time that day.  
  
It was his own reservation that stopped him from getting in the water. He regretted it a little bit, them all getting to swim before getting trapped in this game could have been a good memory. Usually at this point Chiaki would speak up and break him out of his thoughts, but she continued to look around quietly.

 _  
_ “...”  
  
_She’s looking around for some reason._ “Hey… why’d you pick the beach after all this time… Did you want to swim or something?” _Please say yes, I haven’t gotten to swim yet. Why did I have to be the no fun guy on the beach that day? It’s tiring playing the straight man you know._  
  
“Ah… in those types of games, usually.. You’d put lotion on my back, right? And then you’d touch me in a weird place and I’d yell at you. It’s a standard tactic. Huh, which reminds me… Where do you think a legendary tree is growing…?”  
  
_What kind of game are you talking about now?_ Hinata thought, missing out on the hint again as he focused on trying to get the reference because that was obviously what Chiaki cared about.

  
“You can rub sunscreen lotion on my back too if you want…!” Komaeda suddenly blurted out.  
  
Hinata balled his fingers up and rested his chin on his fist as he thought. His eyes gave Komaeda a glance over, and he failed to notice how uncomfortable Komaeda became with Hinata looking him over this closely. “Now that you mention it, you’re super pale. You should definitely be wearing sunscreen. I’m surprised you haven’t gotten super burned already.”  
  
“Hinata-kun you shouldn’t waste your time worrying over someone like m-”  
  
“You are literally the one that brought it up!”

Hinata cooled down when Chiaki suddenly appeared in his vision asking for his attention again. She had a habit of getting in his face, something he was not prepared for. “I shall give you three choices for what we’re going to do from now on. Please select from the following three, celebrate in the ocean, hug Chiaki, Happy Happy Joy Joy.”

“Oh, I see this is an event flag. Choose carefully Hinata-kun, you could be locked in a route for the rest of this game.”  
  
“I have literally no idea what either of you are saying, as usual. Happy Happy Joy Joy…? What does this even mean?”  
  
She touched a finger to the roundest part of her cheek. “Hmmm, I don’t really know either, but it’s probably something like this.” Suddenly, Chiaki started running. When Hinata did not go after her she stopped and looked back at him. “Um… Catch me if you can!”

Then she started running again hoping he would get the hint. It took until she was almost out of his sight for him to realize. He had no choice but to chase after her… After chasing her around for a little bit, they both got tired and stopped. Not knowing what else to do, they say down and looked away from each other awkwardly.  
  
It was Hinata who finally spoke up. “Nanami… What in the world are we doing?”  
  
“Hm… I was thinking about… overcoming the genre… I’m bad at…”  
  
“Bad at? Oh, now I remember. When we had our first real conversation you mentioned there are games you’re not good at.” Hinata also remembered that Chiaki said she would not tell him even if he spent time with her. He wondered if that meant things between them had changed.  
  
“I’m not good at things like this… even though everybody says I’m the center of my class, I don’t really understand their feelings. But… hmmm, I see… So this is what it feels like.”  
  
“What do you mean… did you never do normal things like this before?”  
  
“Not until high school. Before that, all I did was play video games. I think, it’s nice you got to live a normal life until this point that’s why you have fun so easily. Just now… you were having fun, right?”  
  
Hinata nodded emphatically, though it troubled him to see somebody he had imagined as carefree as Chiaki waver. Her talent should have given her confidence after all. “Hmm. Yeah.”  
  
“ In the end even though I agreed to play that game with him, I never could get my friend to have fun. But… right now this is what a date feels like, right? Like normal kids would go on?”

_I think those are usually a little different… but I’m just a replacement body for her old friend right? I shouldn’t get ahead of myself again I’m not making the same mistake as last time. I was just practice for the genre she’s not good at… She probably means dating sims.  
_

“After spending time with you, I realized I still don’t understand a lot about people’s feelings. For example, I know the procedure for how babies are made, but I don’t really know how to fall in love with someone, and I’ve never done it myself. What about you Hajime, have you seen that kind of thing?”  
  
“Don’t remind me of my trauma I didn’t mean to walk in on that!”

  
“Oh, what happened? Your face is red, Hinata.”  
  
“N-nothing happened.” Hinata looked away, not wanting to think about romantic scenes on the beach anymore.

  
“... Just as I thought, there’s still a bunch of stuff I don’t know anything about. I want to know more about lots of things! Cuz, if I do I’ll be able to understand that person much more… I think, and next time around I can help him. So, can you keep teaching me… Hinata?”  
  
“Yeah, of course, but in order to do that… We need to hurry up and get off this island.”  
  
“... Don’t ever disappear on me, okay, or stop being yourself. Even when we get out of here.”  
  
“Huh? There’s no way I will. I’m stuck being dumb old me whether I want to or not. I’ll definitely get out of here, and take you to a lot of different places Chiaki. That’s my promise, okay?” Without thinking, he took her hands in his. Realizing he had gone a step too far though, he let go and backed off.  
  
He saw a flash of disappointment in her eyes, probably because he was not that friend she was talking about. Hinata shook his head, telling himself he needed to stop wishing to be someone else. “Hey, Chiaki you shouldn’t just go on a pretend date how about a real one.”  
  
“Uh?”  
  
“Do you want to watch Peko and Fuyuhiko’s date with me and Komaeda? Fuyuhiko said it’d be less awkward if more people were there, and if something goes wrong we can probably smooth things over.”  
  
“Oh… yeah… of course. I want to help all of my classmates.” Chiaki smiled. She turned her head away from him suddenly pulling up her hood so he could not see her. “Ah… We should get going and head back.”  
  
“Yeah.. you’re right…” She started to move forward zombie like, until she tripped over the chain that was connecting Komaeda and Hinata without seeing it. “Ah…”  
  
“Huh?” He reacted faster than he realized, opening his arms and catching Chiaki as she fell into them. He had no idea his reflexes had ever been this good. “A-are you okay?” _  
_ _  
_ “... Ah, how embarrassing… “ _As she said that… she stepped away from my chest… My heart.. Sounds really loud. Of course it does… It’s my heart._  
  
“It’s okay, Komaeda trips all the time.”  
  
“Talking about after you triggered a flag like this, you really are rude Hinata.” She said leaning against him to pick herself up, before stopping suddenly. “Ah, that surprised me. You’re pretty hard, Hajime.”  
  
“Huh? HUH…? Ah, um… That is…”  
  
“Unlike me, your arms and chest are really built. You’re definitely a boy.” Just like the first day they met, she placed her hand on his stomach almost as if she was fascinated by him.

  
"Yeah, he is..." Komaeda agreed, voice sounding as if he were in a dream. 

“Haha, well…” Hinata let it get to his head for just a moment-  
“Though, Kumagawa’s body felt harder than this.”  
  
Before it came crashing down again-   
“Wait, when were you feeling that guy! At least I’m not as skinny as Komaeda, okay?”   
  
“It’s not nice to insult other people’s appearances you know, Hinata-kun.”  
  
“You insult yourself all the time dude.”  
  
“So, you think you should make my self esteem even lower.”  
  
“No, Jeez I’m sorry okay?”

Chiaki leaned her head against Hinata to grab his attention once more, causing him to shake like a jolt of electricity had gone through him. He wondered if it was because of Chiaki, or if anybody getting this close to him would make him feel this way. “But I’m glad you caught me. That means I’ll be fine in case of emergencies. Even if I suddenly get sleepy… I’ll be fine… You can carry me…”  
  
“H-hey, don’t sleep!”  
  
“Hmm…?”

  
“Well, fine you can sleep but you have to be up later for the date okay? I really need your help this time.” Hinata said as he lifted her onto his back and started to walk forward. He considered this payment in advance for making her come with him to Peko and Fuyuhiko’s date just because he thought it would be awkward with just him and Komaeda.  
  
As he carried her across the beach she drifted between here and someplace else. Chiaki tried to resist sleep to savor this moment. She felt this boy was just being nice to her, but, it was still something real. With this boy who did not know her, and had no expectations for her. Perhaps just for a bit she could forget about the worries of all her classmates and stop expecting herself to be their perfect savior, their miracle. “Hmmm, I’m happy because Hinata-kun puts up with the real me.”  
  
“Huh? What do you mean by that?”  
  
“...nnn”  
  
“Nanami-san?”  
  
“It’s nothing…”

  
Hinata closed the door fo her cabin, reminding her one last time of the meeting location. When he finally turned around Komaeda was suddenly in his face. “So, are you ever going to carry me like that?”  
  
“Not even if you die.” Hinata said immediately.  
  
“Of course, I’d hate to be a burden to Hinata-kun.” Komaeda said as he walked forward.  
  
“Then, why did you ask?” Hinata gave an exasperated cry again. Yet for all his supposed exasperation, he kept the conversation going between them the entire walk back to his cabin.

 

♛

 

Hinata played with a rubix cube he had bought from the supermarket. He wanted to have fun, just like Chiaki had told him too. However, he found it to be… easy. It was like somebody else was using his hands to solve the puzzle it was that intuitive. Hinata always thought being good at something would be fun and entertaining, but it was oddly empty when he finished the puzzle.

 _Well, this probably isn’t my talent. Ultimate Puzzle Solver sounds too dull for me anyway._ He laid back in his bed, throwing the rubix cube up and down in the air, trying to think. Which for Hajime Hinata was a sisyphean task all on its own. Somehow the repetitive motion of just throwing it up and down was more interesting to him than solving the puzzle.  
  
Komaeda had been watching Hinata as well. However, suddenly he caught it in the air and leaned down over Hajime. “Hmmm… To tell you the truth, I’m really happy Hajime. With everything you’ve learned about me, you’re still talking to me like this.”

  
“Wait for it…”  
  
“I think it’s a terrible idea for me to go along with Pekoyama and Fuyhuiko’s date though.”  
  
“There it is. It’s always something positive and then something negative with you isn’t it?”  
  
“I prefer when things happen in nice predictable cycles.” Komaeda sat next to Hinata on the bed without invitation. Which was a bit strange as Komaeda had been insisting this whole time that he sleep on the floor, because he was unworthy of a bed and Hinata did not have the energy to navigate him late at night so he just went along with it.  
  
Hinata sat up again, and realized they were sitting next to each other. Which was not a big deal as they had been handcuffed for a long time now, but he took notice of it anyway. Hinata watched Komaeda work at the puzzle he had snatched away for a moment. “You’re pretty good you know…”  
  
“Hmmm? I wasn’t solving it nearly as fast as you.”  
  
“What does that matter? You really look like you’re figuring it out in your head.”

“Hinata-kun do you think, if the situation were reversed wouldn’t you say the same thing? No matter how good you were at solving the puzzle if you didn’t meet a certain threshold you’d downplay it?” Komaeda asked, and even if Hinata thought he was right in that moment he did not want to agree. “I think… we’re similar. That’s why you keep listening to my story. You’re probably the only one who’d want to listen to me to this extent.”  
  
“...Don’t get the wrong idea. I’m… just a coward… I’m scared to leave someone like you alone when I don’t understand you at all.” Even though they were right next to each other, Hinata looked away from him.  
  
“Personally, I think it shows great courage to try to understand something you don’t understand. You are definitely someone who embodies hope. Ahhh… I wonder what kind of light your talent is going to unleash. I really want to find out soon!” In that moment Komaeda while he experienced a sudden increase in energy as he spoke, until he reached his usual hopeful crescendo. For a moment it seemed like a good idea to him to get in Hinata’s face like Chiaki always seemed to do. He moved closer, until he was close enough to see all of the details of Hinata’s face. Then, Hinata’s fear of him, his rejection written all over his face became even easier to read. Komaeda realized what a bad idea it was, and regretted getting close the moment after he decided it was a good idea.

Hinata however, did not notice any of the indecision in Komaeda’s actions. He just saw it as Komaeda not having any sense of personal space as usual, he barely reacted as Komaeda got close and drifted away. “Who cares about me…?”  
  
Except… to grab Komaeda’s jacket at the last moment to get his attention. “Tell me why you think it’s a bad idea to bring you along on Peko’s date.”

Komaeda turned back smiling as usual. “Sure thing! I’ll explain right from the beginning if you want. So let’s start talking about the moment I came into this world!”  
  
Hinata’s confusion only increased. “Do you even remember that…?”  
  
“Haha! Good point! But before that, can I ask you something? What do you think good luck is?”

 _Good luck, huh… I’m not really sure I understand… But I think what Komaeda’s trying to say is._ “Are you trying to say… Good luck is absolute power?”  
  
He had this this conversation with Zenkichi once before. He wondered for a moment if he was just repeating himself again. His entire life had been drifting from place to place after all, from the airplane, to the kidnapper, to the doctor’s office, to hope’s peak, to Junko, to Kumagawa, to Zenkichi. Every time he said Hinata was like him, it pained him as much as it obviously pained Hinata because he wondered if he was just saying so hoping his desire would make it true. Did he just want to find the next person to cling to? Didn’t that just make him no better than the low class normals he saw himself as above that worshipped talent. However, he wanted to ask Hinata regardless because Hinata seemed so… normal. Even though Kumagawa was technically unextraordinary in his capabilities he was still a twisted individual just like him. He wondered what somebody normal would think, when Hinata answered him he immediately brightened up. “Precisely! For me, that’s exactly what good luck is! Regardless… It’s a power that has terrible results due to the fact I can’t wield it with my own will.”

_An absolute power you can’t wield with your own will… Isn’t that a dangerous thing to have? No… I see… That’s just how he views it._

“Now then, let’s start talking about me! Hmm, where should I start…? I know! This happened when I was in elementary school. One day, my family and I were planning to board an airplane from the San Cristobal Airport. But, surprise, surprise! After we boarded, the airplane was hijacked! Don’t you think that’s the worst luck?”

Metaphors were good for explaining things that were hard to communicate with others. Often, Komaeda changed his own metaphor when even describing himself in the self narrative he kept in his head. He wondered why that was? Perhaps, he even confused himself, that was why he never blamed others for being unable to understand him.  
  
He had used a metronome, a boat on uneven waters, and now as he tried to explain what had happened to him he saw a set of scales. In one account of the afterlife, the egyptian one, a god would weigh a heart upon a set of scales against a feather and in order to find salvation your heart needed to be lighter than a feather.  
  
Komaeda imagined his life was the same. He needed either a completely equal amount of good luck and bad luck, so the good would justify the bad and he would come out even, or he needed it to be slightly tilted towards the good. He was sure, if he had one final push towards a helpful ending his heart would be lighter than a feather and he would make it to the end after all.  
  
“ But surprisingly a meteorite fell at exactly the right time… Well, for a meteorite it was only the size of a closed fist. Anyway, the falling meteorite struck the hijacker and prevented any further problems. Don’t you think that’s an amazing act of good luck?”  
  
Trauma made one’s heart heavier of course, that was unavoidable. Literally in his case, as it was not the act of people’s cruelty but rather luck. He could only watch with anxiety the sliding scales of fate move back and forth.  
  
Yet, he was expected to get along with everyone else. People who had not endured what he had, people who were stronger than he was. At the same time, when he smiled and told them everything was okay they called him creepy.  
  
Not only were the scales of fate sliding back and forth, but people’s expectations were as well. He found that to be even more vicious and capricious than his luck, and at least his luck had a predictable pattern. He could not understand the way others reacted to him at all.  
  
“But… the meteorites also hit my parents, and they died instantly. Don’t you think that’s a terrible act of bad luck? But in the end, I obtained by freedom and an immense inheritance. See? It really was amazing good luck all along, right?”

Yet, he still wanted to be accepted by others. If he could simply decide one way or the other perhaps he would be happier, either to isolate himself, or to want to be by others. Either to want to be further isolated because it meant he would be keeping others safe from him, or to want somebody to stay with him regardless of the danger.  
  
What did he want in the acceptance of others though… did he want to be told everything was alright? Did he simply just want to be told it couldn’t be helped, as he always was suspicious of in the back of his mind. Yet, when somebody had done that, when Kumagawa Misogi tried to accept him Komaeda pushed him away far worse than he had ever before pushed away anyone.

 _When you’re around me all I ever do is hurt you._ That was what made Kumagawa Misogi so idiotic in his mind. His ability to persist in a life that was nothing but pain, to reach through others even when their hearts were a maze of thorns.  
  
Perhaps what he wanted was to transcend, to become somebody different than he was now. Dying was a form of ascension after all. If people remembered a better version of him then he could sweep away the flawed version of him nobody believed in. However, he would not be around to experience that. In fact, if he changed in any significant way, it would mean the current him was not accepted, and never had been.  
  
“Ah, there was also this one time in middleschool when I was kidnapped by a murderer. Man, don’t you think that’s just the worst luck? But coincidentally, I found a lottery ticket inside the trash bag that the murderer stuffed me in. After I was safetly taken in by the police, I checked out the numbers without giving it much thought… Surprise! I won 300 million dollars! Even I was amazed by this splendid act of good luck”

When metaphors repeated in a work of fiction, it was a sign of an underlying complex of the author. Komaeda always saw his life in terms of things swaying back and forth, whatever the object was, because that was his own self always wanting everything and nothing at the same time.  
  
“That’s why I don’t mind being tied up to you at all, Hajime. It’s just like the last time, if I get used to being bound and simply deal with it I’m sure something wonderful will happen at the end.”

Ah, he had rambled for quite a bit. He wondered if Hajime had been listening the whole time. At least he hoped so, haha hope.  
  
_It’s no use… My head’s starting to hurt…_ Hajime thought at the same time. Even after listening to all of that he did not feel any closed to Komaeda, just overwhelmed. Yet, at the same time a pang of guilt surged through him. After all, Komaeda had to live through it so it was probably much worse than just hearing about it. He wondered how many people Komaeda had told his story to, and acted like his pain was just a problem for them.

Hinata intensely afraid of saying the wrong thing though, did not say anything at all and just listened. He hoped Komaeda would understand at least that he was listening this time.

“And right before I entered Hope’s Peak Academy… No I shouldn’t tell this story. It’s imperative of me to burden you with all this because of my pointless situation. Hahahaha… “

 _I guess there’s an understandable reason for his blind faith towards hope._ “Well, I get why you’d be worried your luck is going to affect things but… it’s not a high risk situation. It’s just a date. I mean I guess it could be a high risk situation if you’re a teenager and confused about things like that…”  
  
“That’s literally what you are Hinata-kun.”  
  
“Umm. I don’t know if you’ve heard but I’m great at understanding others.”  
  
Komaeda blinked, truly unsure if Hinata was joking or he had just let what Fuyuhiko siad go to his head.  
  
“I think it’ll go fine, but if you’re still worried we have these handcuffs right? As long as we have them our fates are linked, so it won’t be just your fault. It’ll be mine too.”  
  
“Now you’re just making yourself out to be my babysitter.” Komaeda said, as he put down the finished puzzle between him and Hajime. Hajime reached out to grab it from him again, and for a moment their hands brushed.  
  
Hinata’s face moved closer to his on its own this time. Komaeda hesitated. Only, for Hinata to snap back at him again. “Well if you don’t want to be treated that way then quit acting so childish!”

 

♛

 

Enoshima Junko lounged on the beach in the middle of the day. It was a full blown crime she had been at the beach for weeks and only just now finally got time to to work on her tan. A crime far worse than trapping a bunch of teenagers in a killing game.

She had been too preoccupied up until this point watching the killing game unfold. After all, this is what she had wanted, what she lamented so much about Kumagawa showing up in her life and throwing it off the rails. That she never got to reach the climax of her two year plan.  
  
Yet, with Kumagawa involved even things that were inevitable like another killing game starting up, always came about in unexpected ways. So, she was a participant instead of a mastermind, she could still have fun. In fact she had no idea what Mukuro made such a big deal about being assigned the role of the traitor in the first game, sitting amongst your peers while thinking about how you could destroy each and every one of them was an interesting experience.  
  
A delectable feast was laid out in front of her, and she did not know where to begin. Partially because she kept being reminded of the fact that she was sharing the table with somebody who had horrible table manners. She looked up at Kumagawa again, being drawn out of her thoughts as she stared at his scarred body revealed by the swimsuit he was wearing. _Why do you distract me so?_ She thought as her eyes observed every last agonizing details of his scars.

It really was unfair. He was the one who should be distracted this much by her. “Hey, Misogi do you want to rub lotion on my back?”

『Sure. Hey, Junko you know some english how do you spell Nerd out?』He said as he started to trace a letter into her back with a single finger.  
  
He really was clueless. That was not how this scene was supposed to play out. He needed to get flustered for her amusement, unless he thought her body was not worth getting flustered over, in which case rude. “Nevermind,from now on I’m only going to let Monokuma touch my back.”

『Junko, if you keep acting so suspicious everybody on the island is going to think you’re a furry.』

“You’re not supposed to talk back to me, Misogi. I wonder why an idiot like you hasn’t just learned his place already. Oops I answered my own question.”  

『I’m supposed to talk back that’s how banter works. If you want to talk to yourself so badly then just hold up a mirror and carry on in conversation with yourself all day. Oh, I guess you already do that.』

“It’s not my fault that I’m the most interesting person to talk to around here, and everybody else is so boring.”

『You’re right, you’re right, you’re the most interesting person here that’s why you shouldn’t blame me for wanting to talk to you so badly.』

“So, it’s all about what you want? That’s so selfish. Me, me, me, do you ever think about anybody but yourself?”

『...』Kumagawa put his hand on her back right then. He untied the top of her bikini fairly easily, which made Junko a bit suspicious as the first time they had done anything serious as a couple… (couple, couple, couple of people who like despair, yeah that)  he had tried and failed to get her bra off and they were delayed as long as it took her to finish laughing at him about it. He had the very opposite of nimble fingers, she wondered if he had been practicing somewhere. Then, he put his hands on her and that was… oh. Something that was not despair, but something she felt regardless. 『................................Junko I’m always thinking about you.』  
  
To which her response was, oh. Again.  
  
Well, scientifically speaking even if her emotions were dulled, hormones and physical reactions of the body were a thing. She could think about it analyze it later though, with her moments of surprise like this always went too fast. Kumagawa’s hands were so rough. She wondered what had been done to them, maybe cut up, maybe his fingers were broken one by one, his fingernails ripped off, or even nails driven through his palms (No scratch that, the symbolism was too pretentious). As she imagined the suffering he had endured up until this point, and the fact that his only reward would be more suffering in the end her despair grew even deeper.

The despair of watching a loved one suffer, throwing themselves into danger for your sake again and again. Even her loved ones who tended to be particularly dedicated, eventually broke under that repeated strain. Kumagawa was the hardest to break at all, but that was her nature it made her want to break him more. In her attempts she had drawn closer and closer to him, and that was how she gotten to this point.

Junko wondered if anything had really changed in their relationship. From the first day she met him, she had tried to get rid of him because he got in the way of things and messed everything up, and yet slowly over time her reasons for doing so slid out of her control. This was all unexpected… but the unexpected was what she wanted right? Then… why did she not want to think about this subject any further.

Kumagawa himself had not changed much either. He always endured, always came back to her, and sometimes she wondered if he did that because he wanted to, or he was simply unconsciously repeating what he was used to. He had just accepted that life was meant to be miserable for him, and decided to settle for her… and she did not want to pursue that subject either.  
  
Ikusaba Mukuro spoke up suddenly. “Misogi-chan you’ve been acting weird lately.”

『I’m always acting weird. Never be normal, that’s my motto.』

“I mean weird even by your standards.” Her sister was wearing a swimsuit as well, though much more modest. “You can’t go ten seconds without declaring your love for Junko in some way. How have you not noticed how weird he’s being Junko, you notice everything.”

“Hmmm? Isn’t it only natural that somebody would praise me that often?”

『I’m just trying to inflate Junko’s ego with even more hot air in case we need to use it as an escape craft to get all of us off this island.』

“No, it’s different than how you acted before… it’s almost obsessive.”

『If Mukuro-chan is calling me obsessive of all people then something really must be wrong.』

“Hey, don’t you start making fun of me too!” Mukuro said, bopping her hands lightly against his shoulder.

『Huh? I didn’t mean it in a mean way it’s just an observation.』

“If that’s the case then all of the other things I state about you are just observations, Miss Flat as a Board.”  Junko said. “Why are you wearing that anyway? It looks terrible? That’s not mean it’s just an objective fact, I would know as the Ultimate Fashionista.”

『Don’t call her that.』

“But it can’t be mean if it’s true.” Junko parroted his  own logic back at him.

『Well, if we’re talking about size Medaka-chan’s are bigger than yours so-』

“Choose your next words carefully…” Her eyes were suddenly sharp enough to pierce right through him.  
  
“Misogi-chan it’s okay, you don’t need to die right here for my sake.” Mukuro said, pulling on his shoulder once more to get him to look back at her. “I just think Junko’s going to get mad, if you keep going on with this ‘Junko doesn’t need to love me’ stuff.”

『Hmm, so would she get mad if I started saying I’m confident she’ll love me back?』  
  
“I’m pretty sure that would also make her mad.”  Mukuro nodded.

『Hmm, so you’re saying she’s the kind of person who gets mad no matter what you do.』

“Well, it’s more like she can’t express her feelings properly.” Mukuro explained in a calm voice. “Don’t you want to win her affections.”

『Well, love is like a game you know. Games should be fun regardless of winning and losing..』  
  
“Oi, will you two quit talking about me like I’m not here! Don’t treat me like I’m some ungrateful brat.” Junko snapped at both of them. She felt herself getting irritated again. Ajimu had said this before as well, that their relationship was a game to both of them. She just didn’t want Ajimu to be right, that was all. It just annoyed her, hearing those two speak her feelings for her that's all. Her feelings only belonged to her, and those two were like possessions too. 

『Well, if you don’t want to be treated that way, have you considered changing everything about yourself?』  
  
Junko’s head turned to Mukuro. “Hey, aren’t you supposed to be defending me? What good are you?”

Mukuro looked to the side and spoke passively. “Junko, we’ve been over this before. I’m a no good sister who only knows how to kill.”  
  
“Then kill MIsogi.”  
  
“I tried that, but Misogi-chan is so incompetent he doesn’t know how to die properly.”

『Guess you’re stuck with both of us then.』

  
“What did I ever do to deserve that?” Junko whined as she fell back in Kumagawa’s lap.

『Everything. Literally, everything.』

“Anyway, Misogi-chan. Junko’s going to get mad if you keep saying she doesn’t like you, because that’s just you being oblivious again. It’s obvious she does.”

『What do you mean?』

  
“She switched from clear lip gloss to pink shimmer. What does she need to do, scream I love you from the rooftops?”

『I’m surprised you know that much about makeup.』  
  
“Well, I hate it but also Junko always used me as her makeup testing doll growing up, so all this knowledge about it has been permanently carved into my brain.”

『Well, it’s like I said Junko’s feelings don’t matter. I just want to keep loving the person I love, even if that love turns into nothing, even if my feelings are wasted on her...』

“I said stop talking about me like I’m not here! You two are terrible at following orders for a couple of two bit flunkies.” Junko glared back at Misogi. Now that Mukuro mentioned it, even though it killed her to admit Mukuro might have a point the way he spoke about her had changed. Also… the fact that he had said the same thing as Medaka… irked her.

She always hated being third in line after Ajimu and Medaka. It wasn’t just her ego, the fact that Misogi believed he might move on from her one day bugged her as well. It was like he was distancing himself to protect himself. But say, if one day he left her. If he just moved on, or even if he abandoned her, that was not despair. All she would feel then was emptiness.  
  
It was not like she wanted to be by his side forever though either, she was just irked. She probably just thought it was arrogant of Misogi that he could speak for her feelings, that was it. She was not somebody that he liked because she was the only person who could stand being around him. There was more to their relationship than that, she knew because she had invested time in him for the sake of despair. She reached up and poked a single nail into his chest. “You’re mine you know. You didn’t choose me, I chose you.”  
  
『Sure, sure… as long as we’re on this island.』  
  
In the background, Kurokami Medaka had been staring at them intently, while sipping a smoothie.  
  
Next to her, Hitoyoshi Zenkichi was slightly jealous that Medaka did not even bother to look at his swimsuit body. “You know I don’t think you’re going to figure her out. Junko’s motivation is probably just going to turn out to be one of those twists that’s like ‘She has no motivation that’s why you can’t understand her motivation’.”

“I know but…” Medaka looked back at Zenkichi for the first time. “Around those two she almost looks human.”

It was then, Medaka called out to Kumagawa. “Kumagawa, when we get off this island, what are you planning on doing? You’re graduating soon, right? Junko’s only a first year you won’t be able to stay on campus with her.”

『Hmmm. I haven’t thought of it. I guess I’d just… disappear somewhere.』  
  
Junko bit her lip, not letting any more of her annoyance show. She saw Kurokami specifically looking at her for her reaction and turned her head away. Jeez, Kurokami was more like her than she thought. She needed to stop underestimating that side of Kurokami that, just like her, was always poking at others and watching for their reactions.

  
One of them disappearing one day, going to die where she could not see it, that wasn't despair. It bothered her for the same reason her sister joining Fenrir bothered her. She wanted things to end with a bang, where she had a front seat. That was her style. 

 

♛

 

Kurokami waited until they were at their cabins to start trying to talk to Junko again. By then, Junko almost welcomed it to get a temporary distraction from her own head. Her brain could never stop at attempting to solve a puzzle, and she did not want to think why she knew for sure she was going to leave Kumagawa, but the thought of Kumagawa leaving her by his choice irked her so.  
  
“You know, if you wanted to you could fight the boredom you’re always feeling that’s brought about by your own genius.” Kurokami suggested, once again sounding like she was preparing a lecture in her head.  
  
“I do fight. Despair is my way of fighting. It’s the only way to escape a boring life.”

“Well, if you were that dedicated to your despair philosophy. Couldn’t you live more like Kumagawa?”  
  
“We’ve been over this before, gosh, don’t you remember? I laughed in your face.”  
  
“You never answered the question though. If what you want is a despair filled, unpredictable life, than Kumagawa’s is much more unpredictable than yours. You wouldn’t have to change much about your philosophy about spreading misery to others.”

“Yeah, but then I’d have to be a geek so, so not worth it.”

“I’m just wondering… Are you really as confident in your despair as you think you are? Or, do you just not know any other way to live? I was like that too…”

“...”  
  
“If Ultimate Despair was the only way for your to enjoy life, then shouldn’t you be enjoying it right now? Shouldn’t you enjoy the killing game a lot more than you are?”

  
“That’s just because it’s lame being a participant…”

“You wanted this killing game so badly so why are you making excuses-”

“Medaka-chan. You’re really annoying me now.” Enoshima Junko said, looking at Medaka her usually dull eyes a bright red as they focused on her. She hated being patient most of all, so she was a little bit happy that she was revealing her game early. “If you’re going to insist on being no fun, then I’m going to stop playing along to your game and force you into mine.”

Medaka opened her mouth to counter, when suddenly her tongue went slack. The rest of her fell over limp in a matter of seconds.  
  
“Gosh, it took awhile for that bear tranquilizer to kick in. For a girl you’re such a monster. Also, a piece of advice just because I spend weeks chained up to you and behaving don’t drop your guard and accept a drink from me. It was so obvious I was just playing along with all this to get you to drop your guard in the first place. For a smart girl you really are dumb.” She walked over to the closet where Medaka had been hiding Pekoyama’s confiscated sword. “Wow, Misogi was right for once. It’s not nearly as fun if you don’t say anything back. Oh well.”

She said this as she raised the sword up in the air, almost as if she wanted to prove Medkaa’s earlier statement wrong. “To make despair spread everywhere like vines, first you gotta nurture the seeds of hope. That’s all. That’s the only reason I was waiting patiently until now.”

  
Without a moment of hesitation, Junko sliced off her own hand freeing herself from that which chained her to Kurokami Medaka. “Well, this was fun. Actually, no it wasn’t, bye bye!”

 

♛

 

Hajime and Komaeda decided to leave early for the diner. When they were at the door, Hajime asked Komaeda for the key, and Komaeda dug into his pocket only to discover a hole in his pocket. Before Komaeda could go on another rant about bad luck, Hinata decided they would just leave the door ajar and slightly unlocked.

Hajime and Komaeda had been waiting at the diner, for awhile now. First Fuyuhiko had arrived early, looking nervous.  
  
“Why didn’t you guys show up at the same time?” Hajime asked.  
  
“A good date has to show up early! What kind of man do you think I am?” Fuyuhiko snapped at him. Fuyuhiko took off his jacket and handed it to Hinata. "Here, make yourself useful for once."  
  
"This is wet, what happened?"  
  
"On the way over here Peko was about to step on a puddle so I threw down my jacket for her." 

 _Man, I lose to this guy in every way._ Hinata thought as he took the jacket to hang on a coat rack.   
  
They waited for Peko to arrive, only for the next person to walk through the door to be Tsumiki Mikan. When she saw the disappointment on everybody’s faces, Mikan almost immediately threw herself into a panic. “I’m sorry! I know you were all expecting somebody else!”

“Why is Mikan here anyway?” Hinata wondered aloud.  
  
“I’m sorry!” Mikan shouted even louder this time.  
  
“No, it’s okay I invited her. I thought Peko would be less nervous the more people were around.” Fuyuhiko said, scratching at the back of his neck.  
  
They waited, and the next person to walk in the door was… Tanaka Gundham. “Tanaka has arrived to your summons! I need the blood of the virgin as price for my entrance into this mortal realm.”  
  
“Well, Hinata has that covered for you.” Fuyuhiko said.  
  
“Hey!” Hinata said, and then he realized. “Wait, what’s he doing here?”  
  
“Oh… I uh… Invited him too.”  
  
“Are you sure you’re not the one who's nervous?”  
  
“Are you sure you don’t want to die?”  
  
“Please don’t kill Hinata-kun, at least not until we know what his talent is.” Komaeda interrupted standing between the two.  
  
Just as they started to doubt whether or not Peko would ever show up, she appeared in the door. “Oh… hi... “ She said, without much emotion to her voice as usual. She was wearing her usual school uniform as well, but to Fuyuhiko it was like she was bathed in light.

Hinata was glad the two of them had just decided to spend time together like a normal day. Before he could appreciate the moment though, he realized something. “Wait… where’s Chiaki? I told her what time we were meeting at.”

“If you’re looking for the girl afflicted with the sleeping curse, I saw her wandering towards the Chandler Beach House much earlier.”

 _She must have fallen asleep in there._ Hinata said, as he looked at everybody else. “Sorry guys, I promised I’d watch over her, okay?” He stood up and got out of the diner, starting to walk towards the beach house. He was thinking too much of Chiaki, he forgot once again to look at the face of the boy behind him. If he had, perhaps he might have anticipated what was to come.  
  
Komaeda was savvy to these kinds of situations. Usually, just on the precipice of despair where one either fell off the cliff or learned to fly, he felt a sort of heart pounding sensation. His face would have been twisting in ecstasy again, but something held him back. He could not enjoy it as he usually did, because he knew Hinata might be hurt by this development. His face darkened, and Komaeda himself did not know what it would show.  
  
The moment Hinata opened the door to the Chandler Beach House, expecting to see Chiaki napping on the couch he instead saw a scene that was dyed entirely red. He hesitated for a moment, terrified to take another step. _No. No. No. No. No._ It was Komaeda who pushed him from behind and made him take the next step to see, Chiaki was nowhere to be found in the room. There was nothing but blood.  
  
Hinata ran back and announced to all the others that Chiaki was missing, short of breath, looking increasingly desperate. The date was called off, and all of them present searched the second island to no avail.  
  
“That’s strange, Monokuma opened up this island to give us more opportunities to murder each other right? Why wouldn’t her body be on the second island.” Komaeda spoke up, just as they had all decided to go looking on the first island.  
  
Hinata decided to look in the cabins, hoping that Chiaki had just overslept. When he knocked on her door, he got no response knowing it was locked. However, out of the corner of his eye he saw his own door left hanging open.  
  
Hinata took cautious steps towards his own apartment, and saw then a trail of blood running across his room. He opened the door to the bathroom, and right there he finally found Chiaki. She sat in a pool of her own blood, a golden dust covered Katana stabbed straight through her.  
  
“This wasn’t supposed to happen.”  
Hinata Hajime’s voice cracked.  
“I promised her I was going to take her more places.”  
And then he shattered.  
He just wanted to show her a field of flowers, something nice like that.  
Now that field would be dyed red with her blood. 

 

♛

 

  
Sometime earlier, Kumagawa Misogi was reading Monokuma Jump in his room with Zenkichi on the floor next to him doing push ups. It was the only manga magazine published on this island. Exactly like shonen jump except for the fact that all of the manga had random bear mascots inserted into the plot. The plot was often derailed in favor of praising the bear mascot for how marketable it was.  
  
He dropped the magazine on his face however when he heard a knock on the door. Kumagawa MIsogi stood up and opened the door, only to see the last thing he expected on the other side. Ensohima Junko, covered in blood and wearing only a bathing suit. (Perhaps he should have expected her being covered in blood, knowing her).  
  
Kumagawa Misogi immediately looked around. 『Where’s Medaka-chan?』

“Hey, why are you asking about her? I’m the one right in front of you, and obviously I ditched her.”

『How?』  
  
Junko winked at him, and raised the empty stump where her hand used to be.

『Wh… what were you thinking? Are you a dumbass? Junko you’re going to bleed to death!』  
  
“Oh, don’t worry. This blood isn’t mine.” She said, gesturing to the mess on her body.  
  
In that moment Kumagawa Misogi’s eyes widened in panic. Hitoyoshi Zenkichi lifted his head from the floor. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Before he could say anything else, Kumagawa was already standing over him grabbing him by the back of the head. 『I’m sorry, Zenkichi-chan, this isn’t my fault.』He slammed hard enough to knock Hitoyoshi Zenkichi out. That was the last Zenkichi heard, until he woke up to the announcement that a body had been found blaring on every single speaker.

“Upu! I know you kids thought you were having fun, building your relationships and developing your characters or whatever, but secretly you all missed me! That’s why I’m here! To bring you the real fun!”  Monokuma said, as he made his grand re-entrance. “In a killing game, the only reason there’s character development in the first place is to make the reader more invested when the characters die. I can’t believe you didn’t see that coming! I’m a terrible headmaster, I need to educate this island of idiots better!”

The bear’s words, his nonsense rambling ringing in his ears, Hitoyoshi Zenkichi stared on in horror, Hajime stared incomprehensibly, and Komaeda merely stared in acceptance as their daily life had ended and their deadly life began once more.


	14. My Impurest Heart for You (7 - Investigation x Deception)

『Junko… did you kill someone?』  
  
The question hung in the air between them. Perhaps it was too obvious a question to ask when Junko was standing in front of him, with a missing hand and already covered in somebody else’s blood, but Kumagawa was the self proclaimed king of fools after all.

“Mmm… If I did, you’ll protect me won’t you?” Junko’s face changed in an instant, in one moment she had been watching him with her usual smirk trying to read every bit of his reaction and in the next she looked like the perfect helpless victim. Any other person might have been confused by the transformation or even suspected Junko to have been replaced by a completely different girl.  
  
She leaned against him, purposefully making him aware of her chest that was pressing against his still bare one. With only a thin piece of fabric her and the black uniform covering his chest,  it was easy to feel how warm he was. Unlike Junko, Kumagawa always had a warm body. Sometimes too warm even. Burning hot. It got unpleasant. He sweat too much, his hands got clammy, and he was stinky. Her mind came up with all those insults in a fraction of a second to counter how much she was enjoying this closeness that she was supposed to despise.  
  
She had always been unbearably cold though, at least in a sense of being devoid of warmth. She could care less about sharing the warmth of another human, if she really wanted she could have that in an instant. What she desired was passion, a burning emotion welling up in an overwhelming instant before burning to death. Kumagawa had been burned so many times though even she sometimes wondered how he was still standing. She didn’t understand at all how he could be so warm, how he felt like so much.  
  
The least he could do was burn her too from time to time. Selfishjerkshehatedhim. At her closeness, just like he always did he merely stared at her with blank eyes, not understanding. Which is why she needed to make the next move just like she always did. She was the one who took the lead in their dances after all. “After all… you’re the only one I have on this island. You’re the only one who will always be on my side.”  
  
Kumagawa gasped at air, as he had been unconsciously holding his breath for as long as Junko had been pressed against him. 『Junko I...』  
  
“Hey, Misogi… It’s okay, right?” Junko cupped both of his cheeks, leaning in and kissing him softer than she ever had before. They were such similar heights, only a centimeter apart. It was easy to slide her body against his, to push their lips together, it almost felt comfortable, right. However, Enoshima Junko was a person who had no need of such comfort. As she drew back she looked at his uneven almost startled looking gaze. “Let me rely on you, you’re the only one who can share my despair with me after all.”

『I… I… I think you’re not suited to playing the femme fatale type of character.』  
  
“Awe come on, you’re supposed to be stupid why are you so hard to manipulate.” Junko said, her face turning sour as she pushed him away.

『I can’t even make myself do what I want to do, why would I do what somebody else wants me to do?』

“Hey, wait a moment I can totally pull off a classic femme fatale ploy if I want to!”

Kumagawa’s eyes had already gone flat. 『Junko, you have as many strong points as I do weak points, but subtlety is not one of them.』  
  
“Bombast is so much more fun though!” She said, raising her voice as she brought her face a few centimeters from his to get in his face.

『You’re making my point for me.』Kumagawa barely reacted to her presence again.

“What gave it away?”

『When you said that I’m the only one who could share despair with you. That implies you’d see me as an equal. At most I’m your favorite toy. You’re so rough on your toys because you’re only happy when they break. That’s why I can never break, because I love your unhappiness.』Kumagawa said with a wink.

『Anyway, take your clothes off.』

“Aha, so you fell for the femme fatale ploy after all!”

『No, you need to wash the blood off of you.』Kumagawa said, as he grabbed her by the shoulders and started to push her into the bathroom.

A moment later, Junko was pouting in the shower, her hair down and warm water washing over her. When Kumagawa opened the door to her shower, she nearly screamed and quickly started to push him away with her one remaining hand.  
  
“Hey, quit trying to sneak a peek you perv.”

『What? I’m not trying to ogle you I’m making sure you don’t bleed to death.』

“Hey, that’s my perfect body you’re talking about you should be trying to ogle it! This is your only chance for your unworthy eyes to see it after all!!”

『Ehhh but I’ve seen it before a few times.』  
  
“Seeing my body is a privilege not a right, don’t take it for granted.”

『Junko!』Kumagawa reached out and grabbed her wrist which was now empty as she had severed her hand from it, and quickly pulled it out of the falling water and started to wrap a bandage around it, tight enough to cut off the circulation. 『You’ll die if you’re not careful. There’s no despair in dying in slowly from blood loss right? You want to end with a bang!』

Kumagawa’s eyes were crystal clear like water, nothing ever seemed to faze him. In that moment though, worry reflected back on the surface of those eyes. _Ah, he’s worried for my sake, but why..._ Junko wondered as she stared at him with empty eyes.  
  
“You’re being obnoxious.” She said, pulling her arm away from him. “Stop hovering around me, I’m not a child who needs you to take care of me.”

『As someone who never cleans up after her own messes, and never listens to others you’re actually far worse than a child.』Kumagawa countered, still trying to check and make sure she was not wounded any place else.

She pushed him away one final time and stepped out. She was just using him after all, so he might as well be useful for once. That was why she decided to let him fuss over her, until the stump of her hand had been entirely bandaged up. Kumagawa was almost cute, the way he looked at her right now. He could endure any injury himself and laughed it off, yet if she got so much as a paper cut his face twisted in pain. She had only cut off a hand this time, she wondered if she she was cut worse what face would he show her? Each stab of pain would stab through him. It was like they were sharing pain then, thinking about it, she felt absolutely ticklish.

As he paid attention to her. As he watched her with those eyes that held back so much pain, and the fear of losing her. As his hands traveled over her, moved to support her when she was light headed, and started to shake as he held her, she too started to blush and look away. The despair of losing her was the greatest despair Kumagawa Misogi would ever endure in his life, that was just… a little embarrassing to think about. By that point she was sitting on his bed, drying via gravity.

“There, are you done fussypants?” She said, still pouting.

『I think so. You should be grateful it's because I put on my fussy pants this morning that you didn't die of blood loss. If I leave you here you’re not going to cut off your other hand, right?』

“Huh, where are you going?”

『To cover up your crime, obviously.』

“You don’t even know what I did yet.”

『Knowing you, it was certainly something bad.』  
  
“Oh, so you are going to protect me in the end. The femme fatale plot worked.”

『Will you let go of that? It didn’t work.』  
  
“Yes it did.”  
  
『No it didn’t.』

“Then, why are you trying to protect me?”

『I’m not, I’m trying to defeat you. I’m going to be the one to hand you your first ever defeat, and at the same time I’ll gain my first victory, but for that to happen I can’t allow anyone else to defeat you.』Kumagawa said, turning his back to Junko as he knelt down to check on Zenkichi.

  
“Maybe I wanted you to protect me though. You almost looked cool, when your eyes went cold and you knocked out your precious Zenkichi for my sake.”

『Haha, I know you’re lying again because there’s no way I’d ever look cool.』Kumagawa said as he unbuttoned the black jacket he wore, and draped it over her shoulders.He gave her one last lingering glance before picking Zenkichi up off the floor and throwing him over his shoulders.

She stared at his back as he disappeared out the door, reaching up to touch his jacket on her shoulders. Junko was still pouting, her inquisitive brain as always wondering why that was. Perhaps because Kumagawa had handled her showing up covered in blood on his doorstep better than expected and she had been hoping to freak him out far more and observe his reaction. Perhaps because Kumagawa fussing and taking care of her was worthless to her because she could not feel despair that way.  
  
No, something had bothered her for a long time now. Ever since her stupid sister had noticed something about Misogi that she did not. Kumagawa was acting differently around her. The one she remembered would have been completely flustered at her behavior, but he… he… the only thing that seemed to get to him now was the prospect of losing him. Could it be possible, that Kumagawa was using her, the same way she used him? That bothered her… She wondered why as her nails tightened around the fabric of his jacket, and she shivered from the absence of his warmth. It was probably just… because it was something her pride would not allow.

Junko's hand reached up and she touched her lips where she felt a phantom tingle of the warmth she had tasted earlier.  _Since when did Misogi know how to kiss, anyway?_

Several hours later, the alarm rang and Zenkichi regained consciousness. Junko was still hanging around them, but she was dressed by now. Except for Kumagawa’s jacket, which still hung off her shoulders as she refused to give it back.

After hearing Monokuma’s announcement, Zenkichi lifted his head in concern. Only to find out he was exactly where he had fallen before. “Huh… What…”

Kumagawa standing over him, smiled. 『Junko showed up bleeding and instead of helping, you fainted on the spot due to shock. You really are useless, Zenkichi-chan.』  
  
“Where’s… Medaka…” 

『Dunno. I’ve been here the whole time, there’s no way I could let Junko bleed to death. After all, what are we without our women, Zenkichi-chan?』

 

♛

 

Nanami Chiaki was dead.  


That was the route he was on, that was the scenario presented for him, that was his current mission objective. Not only that but if he did not move soon, if he did not find her killer than everybody else would be dead including him.  
  
Yet, knowing all of that he did not want to accept it. He had acted rashly. Even though she was found in his bathroom he rushed forward and cradled her in his arms.  
  
Oh…  
  
Everything was quiet.  
He had been sitting there, holding onto her, staring in silence for what felt like ofrever.  
Until he heard it.  
He heard the sound of laughter coming from somewhere.  
Right behind him, he heard somebody laughing.  
Hinata’s voice suddenly cut out because he could not scream anymore.  
He turned his head around slowly, and saw a bear laughing at him.

“Upupupu!” Monokuma held his paws in front of his face. “It looks like while all you kids were goofing off and ignoring the motive, there was at least one good student on this island studying up for the next murder. What a teacher’s pet.”

He held out another Monokuma file in his hand, waving it in front of Hinata’s face. “Well, here you go! As always your headmaster is very generous. Of course, I could just tell you who the murderer is since this entire place is bugged to hell and back but… letting you experience the fun and teambuilding of solving a murder mystery by yourselves is just more of my generousity.”

He shoved the pad in Hinata’s face once more, but the boy did not react. “Hey, brat! I put a lotta work into collecting this data for you, you know?”

“...”  
  
“God, you’re not even supposed to be the angsty one that’s Komaeda’s job. Are you so dumb you’ve forgotten your character role? Well, if you remember how to speak again I’ll leave it here.”

He said as he placed the pad on the floor.  
  
Komaeda was the one who walked over to pick it up. He scrolled through the information available. _Monokuma File. The victim Nanami’s death was several hours ago around 5pm at sunset. It was 10pm by the time the body was found in Hinata’s cabin. The fatal injury was a a stabbing internal and external bleeding that would have led to death in less than a minute. It was a single blow. There are no other visible wounds, nor traces of drugs._

 **Evidence Acquired** **  
** >Monokuma File  
>Golden Dust Katana **  
** **  
** “It’s a bad idea to move the body you know, and covering yourself in her blood will only make you more suspicious. We need to start investigating right-”  
  
“...Is this what you wanted?”  
  
“Hinata-kun?”

Hinata had been silent and beyond words for awhile now. Komaeda was surprised he was suddenly speaking again. Without breaking his gaze from the peaceful look on the dead Chiaki’s face, Hinata continued to speak. “This is what you wanted isn’t it? For somebody else to die and for the game to continue. Hey, laugh why don’t you…”

“Why would I…”  
  
“Laugh just like you did at the last trial! Come on! That’s what you wanted, right! Right! You’re happy that Chiaki is dead, right!?”

“Nanami-san was good at bringing everybody together, she was kind and cared about others far more than herself. She enjoyed every part of life, it was her funnest game. I was willing to die in her place, if it was possible, but it’s thanks to such a despair inducing event that we can make hope more bright!”

  
“You’re smiling right now, aren’t you?”

Komaeda did not even realize he was. His hand traveled to his face, and he could feel himself smiling. Even so, he had only been trying to cheer Hinata up with his words. To make him look forward to the good things they had coming, if they only endured this terrible turn. “I just wanted…” if he explained himself, perhaps Hinata would calm down.  
  
“You didn’t want anything good. There’s nothing good that’s going to come out of this. There’s nothing positive about death, it’s just death, it’s just loss… If you say, that Chiaki’s death was a good thing, then I’ll never forgive you.”

Komaeda realized in that moment what in particular was making Hinata so upset. It did not even occur to him until right then, because he had actually believed Hinata’s reassurance. He took Hinata for his word when he said that he would not blame Komaeda for whatever misfortune fell upon them in the middle of the date.  
  
That they would endure it together whatever it was. That they would both be at fault. Now, as that boy held onto Chiaki, Hinata was blaming him for the despair he felt right now. _Ah, that’s unnecessary Hinata-kun. I already blame myself for all of this._

“Hinata-kun, let’s investigate together. I wouldn’t mind getting executed by Monokuma, but the world shouldn’t have to sustain the loss of a hope as bright as yours.” Hinata had already blamed him, and already broken his promise, but Komaeda still tried to urge him to get up. He offered him a hand, the same way he did when they were on the beach together. Things were so much simpler back then, and Komaeda himself did not understand what had changed between them and now. People always rejected him, and acted like he was deceiving them, but he was always smiling for their sake. So they would be put at ease and not worried by his presence, by his pain.  
  
Then, Hinata let Chiaki down out of his arms and stood up all on his own. He kept his back to Koameda still, and started to walk away. “Fine, because I don’t want Chiaki’s killer to get away with it, I’ll investigate on my own.”  
  
“I can help you-”  
  
“You’ll only make things worse. I don’t need your help, just stay close to me so you can’t deceive me again. To think I almost let you, we were getting along so well lately.”  
  
“Alright, Hinata-kun. An ultimate like you would know best.” Komaeda reached out for Hinata but, stopped.

 _I didn’t want to deceive you._ _  
_ _just wanted you to smile like you did back then_

Hinata walked straight past him and since they were still in his cabin, over to his closet, past his collection of Monokuma figurines. Over the week they had found quite a few because Komaeda kept tripping over them on accident.

He pulled off the shirt covered in Chiaki’s blood, and went searching for another. Sheepishly, still staring at his back and how shapely it was Komaeda covered his eyes with his hands, then he opened his fingers just a crack.

  
Hinata buttoned up a crisp new shirt, and then walked past him again. “So, where should I investigate first?”

“I thought you didn’t want any help?”  
  
“I was talking to myself.”  
  
“Oh of course, Hinata-kun. I forgot about your self conscious habit of narrating.”  
  
Normally a comment like that would make Hinata snap at him, and then they would continue the flow of the conversation, but Hinata  just ignored Komaeda’s remark thinking to himself still. “I guess it’s time I face it, that motive I’ve been ignoring all this time. There’s no helping it now.” Hinata said as he began to walk forward his back strong against the night sky which unfolded around him or at least Komaeda thought so.  
  
“It’s too bad… Chiaki would have probably loved playing even an arcade game like that.”

 

♛

 

“Hinata-kun, even somebody like me can be passibly good at games. I can try it if it’s too hard for-”

  
“I’m fine on my own. I’ll just try again.” Just like Kumagawa had, Hinata had gotten the bad ending in this Dangan Ronpa game several times. Technically it was Dangan Ronpa the Arcade Version, so it played differently than the home version, whatever the home version was.  
  
Eventually through persistence, Hinata managed to figure out the solutions to the five murders. As this was the arcade version, the story mode was an abridged version of the first killing game. There was absolutely no characterization for the 16 participants, they were named A-Suke, B-suke, etc… Though Hinata recognized at least Kirigiri Kyoko was one of the characters. Afterwards you were sped through each of the six trials with only brief summaries of the evidence at the crime scenes. After the fifth one, the mastermind revealed herself as J-Ko, which was obviously meant to be Junko Enoshima.The designer of the original concept of the killing game, and unwilling participant in this one.  
  
However, other than running through a hypothetical killing game Hinata was having a hard time figuring out how this would serve as a motive. He could feel Komaeda’s eyes behind him. The boy was observant, even if he never gave himself any credit. That only pushed HInata to think harder.  
  
Eventually somebody spoke up before him. Ajimu Najimi, sitting there on the ground chin in her hands. “I miss my skills, I used to be able to just hover instead of having to sit everywhere. It’s such a pain.”  
  
“Is there something you wanted, Anshin’in-san?” Hinata asked.  
  
“I just wanted to see the game everybody was making a fuss about.” She said, watching stil.  
  
“I thought it was your policy to remain neutral, Anshin’in-san.” Komaeda spoke up.  
  
“Yes, but… I do love to talk about games. What is that game about?”

“It’s about a fictional killing game like this one. Once you solve the five murders, the mastermind reveals herself in the sixth trial. Now that I think about it though, the first murder and the first murder on this island do have some things in common. The first person to die was somebody who ‘seemed important’ to the main character, S-Suke. Whereas the murder was Hanten’in-san who spends most of his time ‘looking important’ because he was imitating you. The twist in the first murder is also that the important friend of the main character M-Suke attempted a murder, and in our case Shiranui was Zenkichi’s best friend but turned out to be a murderer. Chiaki’s body was also discovered in the bathroom of my room like in the first murder but… that’s not a direct parallel it should really be paralleling the second murder if there’s a pattern…” Hinata balled his fist and let it rest under his chin as he thought deeper. “Unless, there was blood all over Chandler Beach House. In the second trial T-suke moves the body of C-suke in order to frame someone else. Somebody must have moved the body from where it was in the beach house originally.”  
  
Komaeda thought that was rather obvious from the fact the Chandler Beach House had blood all over it, but he kept that to himself.  
  
“What about that would lead somebody else to murder?” Ajimu asked him finally. “How does it serve as a motive exactly?”  
  
“Uhmm… Maybe Monokuma thought somebody would imitate one of the murders depicted in a game?”  
  
“I see, some people are unable to distinguish fiction from reality,” Ajimu said rather hypocritically. “You know with games like that sometimes the developers hide fun secrets from the players…”  
  
Hinata smacked his hand hard on the buttons. “I’m not here to have fun!” Just then, the title screen glitched and shifted to a demo mode. The only thing depicted in the demo mode for Super Dangan Ronpa 2, was a character select screen with brief character bios. Hinata recognized one of the sixteen, K-suke, Komaeda was clearly staring back at him onscreen, however he was wearing a completely different outfit, a chain around his neck, and a jacket that looked like patchwork rags. 

“Huh…? I must have gotten lucky and input the code on accident.” Hinata quickly looked back at Komaeda. “Hey, you, I said no helping!”

“We talked about this remember, it’s not like I can control it.” Komaeda said, holding his hands up to defend his own innocence.  
  
“Whatever…” Hajime said looking away from Komaeda. “Wait, why is the first game Danganronpa, but the second game Super Dangan Ronpa?”  
  
“It’s more marketable that way!” Suddenly, a bear had appeared from nowhere landing on top of Ajimu and driving her head into the ground once more. As he stood on her defeated body, he brought his paws to his face covering his half grin and suppressing his laughter. “Have you guessed the motive yet, Hinata? Since you’re a remedial student I’m willing to give you a hint if you want.”  
  
“Some of the characters that appear in this game are real people in the island, like Junko, and Kyoko. However, there’s also worrying characters like these ‘Ultimate Despairs’…Those people would be shocked to see themselves appear in a game like this.”  
  
“What you say is right… It’s just a game, but it features real people in it. Who knows how much of it is real? Where’s the line between reality and a simulated reality? It’s like a theme or something. The main point is, it reveals a secrets about your friends you thought you could trust even with all your memories intact.”  
  
“A secret…?” Hinata was not quite getting it as usual.  
  
It was Komaeda who spoke up first. “What do you mean we don’t know what is real. The killing game depicted in that game is all fiction. I know for a fact that killing game was prevented from happening.”  
  
“Are you sure it’s All Fiction?”  
  
“Yes, it’s All Fiction.”  
  
“Awe boo. I thought if we said All Fiction three times in a row Kumagawa would show up. Y’know like Beetlejuice.”

“Kumagawa said he wasn’t going to investigate with Zenkichi because something happened between Junko and Medaka.” Hinata spoke up again, his eyes looking a bit deader than before. “Did you have a reason for showing up or are you just going to annoy us with more pop culture references…”  
  
“Wow, it’s Hinata serious mode. I bet you just went through a lot of character development huh? You change a lot more when somebody you care about dies suddenly, then you do slowly building up a relationship over time. That’s why killing games are more fun! However… I’ll give you the Prize for clearing the game now... “  Monokuma paused for a moment before slicing at Hinata’s open hand with his claws. “Like hell I would?”  
  
“You won’t give?” Komaeda said with a tilt of his head.  
  
“There’s only one prize and I gave it to Kuzuryuu already! Do your best with your investigation!”  
  
Komaeda crossed his arms, gripping his loose fitting jacket. “Then, we’ll have to head to Kuzuryuu’s house as well.”  
  
Hinata had already went to check if Ajimu was okay. WIthout looking back at Komaeda again he spoke up. “No, first you need to tell me why you were in that game. Is there something you forgot about the past?”  
  
“Huh? I knew all along. Sorry, I just forgot to mention it.

  
Hinata Hajime glared at Komaeda in annoyance.  
  
Komaeda started to speak again. “Hmmm, well more or less some of the events in that game are true. Enoshima Junko did try to mastermind a killing game in the past, and her targets were the students of Hope’s Peak Academy. You remember the story that Zenkichi, Kumagawa and Medaka told you about how we all met?”  
  
“Yes... “  
  
“Kumagawa left out a detail, I don’t know why. He must have been hiding this from Zenkichi and Medaka too. When she tried to destroy Hope’s Peak Junko had sixteen accomplices turned to her side. Fifteen of them were all members of my class, including me. We were converted to her side one by one.”

  
“You were…?” Hinata’s voice cracked.  
  
“Of course, even despair can be justified as long as it will produce a greater hope.”  
  
“If you guys were helping her then, then why aren’t you helping her now?”  
  
“It’s because of Kumagawa. One by one, most of the Ultimate Despairs tried to kill Kumagawa over and over again. He fought with them and erased their memories, and some like Tsumiki-san he even comforted and converted to his side. That guy always does a half assed job though, so there were a few he never even encountered, but he did wipe all of their memories at least once.”  
  
“So… are you?”  
  
“Oh, I remember both things at once. Both the altered reality that Kumagawa’s mind wipe gave me, and also the truth of what happened. It’s a bit confusing but oh well, everything is confusing about me.”  
  
“Wow that's the first honest thing you've ever said to me. So in summary, you were just deceiving me again. I’m not surprised by this point.” Hinata said turning his back on Komaeda and starting to walk away. “Then, the motivation was that the Ultimate Despairs secrets would get out of anybody else besides them finished the game. Hmm... “  
  
As he heard Hinata think to himself, Komaeda’s eyes fell to his empty hands. Hinata’s opinion of him was already low, but now it was surely lower. Komaeda could not blame him though, he would hate anybody who tried to destroy his precious hope’s peak, especially himself. HInata was somebody who believed in Hope’s Peak above everything else too, that was why he believed they were similar. He knew he should be hated, but he did not want to be hated…  
  
Hinata stopped suddenly. “Wait, if there were sixteen Ultimate Despairs but only fifteen of your classmates then who was the sixteenth.”  
  
“I… don’t… know.”  Komaeda searched for the memory but he could not reach it, like grasping at shadows trying to see shapes from them.  
  
“So you’re back to lying to me… Well, it doesn’t matter what you say anymore. I already said I’d solve this by myself.”    
  
Komaeda stood there until he was dragged forward by the chain. To himself, underneath his breath he muttered. “You could say thank you at least… since I told you what you wanted to know… even though it hurt me…” There was no way he could demand such a thing of an Ultimate, though so he kept it to himself.

 **Evidence Gathered** **  
** >Ultimate Despairs  
>Danganronpa Trial 1  
>Danganronpa Trial 2

 

♛

 

They made their way back to Fuyuhiko’s cabin. WHen Hinata stopped at the door, unable to open it on his own, behind him Komaeda raised his hands to his mouth. “Heeeey! Monokuma!”

  
“I’m coming! I’m coming! Calling me in such a rough way…”

“You shouldn’t complain Monokuma, you and Komaeda are probably accomplices after all… That’s no way to treat your friends.” Hinata said, leering back at Komaeda.  
  
“I have to investigate here, can you open the door of everyone’s cottage?” Komaeda asked with a polite smile on his face as he gestured to the door. He turned to Hinata, still smiling. “I would never work with Monokuma, after all I’m hope’s ally Hinata-kun.”

  
When they made it to his and Gundham’s cabin, they found the envelope waiting on his bed. It was not hidden that well, but perhaps Fuyuhiko thought it was so dark in their edgy room design that nobody would be able to see aynthing.  
  
Hinata reached out for the envelope and quickly went through the contents. All of it was what could be called weapon’s grade blackmail, information collected on the crimes that each of the Ultimate Despairs had done against Hope’s Peak Academy. Stuffed into the envelope as well as the photos was a note, with cute and girlish handwriting. “Go play Dangan Ronpa, after finishing the game, press down five times to see the truth. After seeing that, collect the prize and make sure nobody else sees you. We need to meet in private and talk, our whole class could be in danger. Signed, Nanami Chiaki.” Hinata dropped the note just then when he realized who it had been written by. “Chiaki knew all of this? And she kept it to herself?”  
  
“That’s very much like her…”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“When we were being manipulated by Junko, even though some of us had already done terrible things, Nanami-san wanted to save all of us, because we were her beloved classmates. Even when she was left alone, she gave it her best effort to save us.”  
  
“What… what happened?”  
  
“In the end she lost to Junko, but it’s not like she died for real since her death was made to never happen by Kumagawa. In the end of the job of saving us all fell on Kumagawa, and she was given a second chance at returning to her normal school life.”  
  
“Then… she watched all of her friends betray her, tried to save them, failed, but got a second chance only… for it to happen all over again.” Hinata dropped the evidence, and in anger punched the wall hard causing a stone dragon statue to fall and break on the floor. “That’s… so sad.”  


“I’m sorry if I told you something that hurt, Hinata-kun but… don’t worry I’m sure the reason things are repeating now is because the last battle didn’t end with a real winner between hope and despair, so the stage reset and that will lead to an even greater victory for hope.”  
  
“It’s fine…” HInata was already walking away finished with his investigation of this room. “You’ve hurt me a lot so I’m used to it by now.”

  
He stopped as he picked up another letter that by coincidence he had stepped on, as it was thrown on the floor. The handwriting in this letter looked exactly the same as the previous one, though it was done in pink ink.  
  
“Meet me tonight at the Chandler Beach House. I’m worried something is going to happen to our friends, Chiaki. Wait, this is from today? When did she have time to write this, she was with us most of the day and then she fell asleep...”

 **Evidence Acquired** **  
** >Fuyuhiko’s Prize  
>Chiaki’s Letter  
>Chiaki’s (?) 2nd Letter

 

♛

 

Hinata steeled himself to enter the Chandler Beach House once again. Hinata remembered the sight of the empty beach house, with traces of blood on the floor. Hinata followed until he saw the dried up stain of red.

“Hmmm?” Komaeda tilted his head.  
  
“Did you notice something?” Hinata said looking back.  
  
“Yeah sure. Do you want me to tell you?”  
  
“...Fine.” 

“I’ll tell you if you kneel and beg me.” Komaeda gripped the side of his head, and twisted both his expression and the angle of his neck until he was looking down on Hajime.  
  
“Nevermind, I don’t care.” Hinata simply turned his head away from him and ignored him, like he was just a particularly annoying child he did not want to deal with.  
  
As Hinata started to walk away, Komaeda held out a hand after him. “Wait! I was just joking to lighten the mood! I was just saying, if Nanami-san’s death was due to blood loss there’s not a lot of blood on the floor.”

“Then, somebody mopped it up when they moved the body?” Hinata looked around him. “They had a lot of time to do it, because most of us were waiting at the Diner for Peko and Fuyuhiko’s date. If the crime scene was cleaned up and altered, I wonder what else they changed.”  
  
Suddenly, a girl with a bandaged face and a maniacal grin appeared. Naze Youka was holding a long and cylindrical lightbulb. “It doesn’t matter how they mopped up, because science will reveal their treachery. No lie can possibly hope to defeat science.”  
  
“Umm… You sound kind of…” Hinata said, watching her.  
  
“I was just trying to enjoy the moment okay…” Naze said. “It’s different from Chuunibiyou, I’m really a scientist. I’m not pretending to be something I’m not. I’m just choosing to indulge in the madder aspects of science. It’s one of my favorite tropes, okay?”  
  
“Okay…”  
  
“Anyway…” She flicked on the black light to show the blood which had been washed away. In particular it revealed the blood spatter patterns, and a set of bloody footprints standing behind Chiaki at the time of the murder. “I see. So, Chiaki was attacked from the front, but there was somebody behind her watching… Hmmm, they’d have been covered in her blood then. How gruesome.” Naze was only barely suppressing her smile.  
  
HInata decided to leave her alone then, and once again wondered what was wrong with most of the children on this island.  
  
The two of them searched the room thoroughly. The shower room could not currently be used, and there was also the rule that people were unable to change their clothes in the Beach House. There was a 3m high window with iron bars in the bathroom. In the trash can, there were a lot of water bottles of the same brand.  
  
As they made their way towards the back room, they found a crumpled up piece of paper. When Hinata picked it up, he saw blood stains around the edges. It was a letter addressed to Nanami, similiar to the one she had written to Fuyuhiko asking her to meet with him because he was worried about their classmates. “It must have fallen out of her pocket. This is even more proof that the body was moved…”  
  
Just as they mentioned that, they heard something moving in the storage room. Hinata quickly rushed to the door and pulled it open. He was not sure what to expect on the other side, but it was definitely not what he saw. Suddenly, one of the plastic cases that kept swimming and other kinds of equipment in the closet was shaking all on its own back and forth. It flew off the shelf when it got enough momentum and fell open in the air, a girl rolled out and then immediately got to her feet.  
  
“Oh, it’s you Kurokami-san. Are you having a nice day?” Komaeda said, waving at her casually.  
  
Normally Hinata would ask how he could take this situation so casually, but he did not feel like playing Komaeda’s straight man today. “Is there a reason you were taking a nap at the crime scene?”  
  
“Crime… scene?” Medaka still groggy got to her feet. Then suddenly, her face shifted and she punched the wall causing the whole building to shake. “Damnit. Enoshima. She cut off her hand to free herself from the chains, that idiot”  
  
Before Hinata could ask her anything else, she ran off using the Kurokami Phanotm faster than he could even keep track of with her eyes. “Well… I guess we can ask her in the trial what her story is. Still, she has super speed too? Unfair…”

Hinata started to look around, and just like in the messy storage room in the old building on the first island he began to unconsciously notice a pattern. “There’s something missing here. There were six of those giant plastic rafts originally, now there’s only five, and a hanger hook is missing too.”  
  
“Hinata-kun how did you remember that? That’s impressive for somebody of your… um… talents.”  
  
“I just got a good memory I guess, maybe because I forgot everything else so there’s lots of room in my head now.” There was a lot of empty space that was for certain. “Also, shut up. I really don’t want to hear it right now.”  
  
Everything investigated about the beach house, they moved onto the beach itself. Just outside the house, Komaeda stopped for a moment seeing a glint in the sand. He picked it up and noticed a chipped red nail. It was plastic, and only one person wore those kinds of nails on this island.  
  
Hinata walked ahead and noticed it finally. In the sand itself there were large streak marks, like somebody had been dragging a sled of some kind over the sand. He followed the trail all the way until the water, at which point it suddenly ended.

“Huh? This makes no sense.”  
  
“Think of it Hinata-kun. How did somebody move a dead body between islands without anybody noticing. Sure, most of us were in that DIner but there were a few people unaccounted for, and to cross from island 2 to island 1 means walking on a narrow bridge.”  
  
“I told you to let me figure this out on my own, quit trying to help.” Hinata said turning around again.  
  
“Thank you Komaeda…” Komaeda muttered to himself.  
  
Just as they were about to leave the Beah House, they came across Pekoyama and Mukuro who had gone to investigate on their own. “Ah, Pekoyama and Ikusaba? Are you here to investigate the rooms, too?”  
  
“Why are you still following Hinata around? Those chains are unnecessary now that a murder has occurred.” Peko said, glaring at Komaeda as she protectively moved in front of Hinata.  
  
Komaeda merely met her glare with a smile. “Oh my, you’re making that scary expression again, but it’s so disappointing. To think that another murder case happened while I was spending the days carefree with Hinata-kun. If it’s to make hope shine more brightly, I’m willing to do anything, that’s why feel free to kill me. If you two want to get out of here, you should use me as a stepping stone.”  
  
“Komaeda. Are you still going to say something like that? I don’t want to kill anymore…” Mukuro said, her expression quiet. “Besides, Misogi-chan would be upset if you died.”  
  
“I have no intention to kill to start with, at least I won’t approve of your way of doing things. I’ll protect what should be protected and cut what should be cut. This is a swordsman’s value. What I search for is justice, this is my reason to exist.”  
  
Komaeda’s fingers curled in front of his mouth. His crooked smile could be seen between the gaps. “How interesting. You know, the murder weapon was a sword. More specifically a decorative fake sword, it’d take a lot of strength to drive that through somebody’s body enough to kill them. Hey, wasn’t your cabin walls filled with decorative fake swords.”  


Mukruo put a hand in front of Pekoyama. “Komaeda, none of the swords in our cabin were missing. It’s alright if you suspect me but don’t look at Pekoyama like that.”  
  
Hinata looked behind once more to glare at Komaeda, who in the low light had his expression covered in shadows. “Pekoyama’s my only other friend on this island… Stop causing her trouble.”  
  
“I…” Komeada hesitated for a moment.  
  
“That’s enough. This is pointless. Let’s stop here and leave the rest for the trial.” Pekoyama said as she started to walk ahead.

 **Evidence Gained** **  
** >Fuyuhiko’s Letter to Chiaki  
>Cleaned up Blood  
>Naze’s Testimony  
>Medaka’s Presence  
>Missing Equipment  
>Broken Nail  
>Tracks Leading to Water  
>Mukuro’s Testimony 

 

♛

  
The two of them had decided to ask Medaka a follow up question. However, they did not find her anywhere near her cabin. Which was how Hinata found himself in the current awkward predicament of sneaking into a girl’s room.  
  
“Why do you look so nervous, Hinata-kun?”  
  
“Are we supposed to be here?”  
  
“It’s not that big a deal, it’s just a girl’s room.” Komaeda said, smiling obliviously as usual.

“I don’t want to see what they leave lying around.” Hinata said, thinking of something unmentionable.  
  
Komaeda reached down and picked a severed hand off the floor. “You mean like this?”  
  
That was certainly not what Hinata was thinking about, but he bit down hard on his tongue to stop himself from screaming out in surprise. “She really… cut her hand off to get out of those handcuffs? That’s so dumb… Even I think that’s dumb.”

Hinata turned around to leave. When out of the corner of his eye, he saw Komaeda moving to put the hand in his pocket. “Hey, put that down.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“It’s not yours. Why do you even want it?”  
  
“Umm… Dunno… I just kinda…Do…”

Hinata felt like he was dealing with a cat that had picked up something it was not supposed to,  as he rushed over and knocked the severed hand away from Komaeda.

As Komaeda looked back in the room he hesitated for a moment. “I wonder where it went?”  
  
“Where what went?”  
  
“Nanami-san told me that Ikusaba and Pekoyama got into a fight and Pekoyama’s sword was confiscated by Kurokami-san and kept here for safekeeping, I wonder where it went..”  
  
**Evidence** **  
** >Missing Sword  
>Junko’s Hand  
  
They made their way to the last stop. Kumagawa Misogi’s cabin. By the time they had arrived, Enoshima Junko was already gone so they could not collect her testimony of why exactly they cut off her hands. Though, Hinata suspected that whatever reason she gave was not going to sound remotely sane.  
  
Which left Kumagawa and Zenkichi. There was almost nothing noteworthy in their cabin, except for their bathroom which was covered in blood.

『It’s Zenkichi-chan’s』Kumagawa explained. 『He was useless and got blood all over the place a few days ago and I didn’t bother to clean it. Oh, some of it might be Junko’s as well. She came over here as soon as she cut her hand off and I had to clean and dress the wound.』  
  
“Do you… know why she did that?” Hinata asked cautiously.  


『Dunno. Do you think I understand that whacked brain of hers?』

“Fair enough.”  Hinata looked down. He knew Kumagawa was not lying about Zenkichi making their bathroom, because he was there the day Zenkichi stabbed himself, and the day Kumagawa had to borrow Junko’s bathroom because their own was dirty.

  
『It’s not like you could prove the blood belonged to somebody else even if you suspected me though.』

“Maybe you couldn’t, but science could!” Naze said, appearing again posing this time with her arms crossed.

『Everytime I say something does the universe have to go out of it’s way to prove me wrong.』

  
“Of course it does, Kumagawa-senpai.” Naze walked forward dabbing her fingers in the blood across the floor.  
  
“Are you going to test the blood for DNA?” Hinata asked.  
  
“No, that would take far too long. I guess we can cross Ultimate Crime Scene investigator from the list.”  
  
“Oh…”  
  
“However, we can blood type it. I know the blood types of everyone associated with the Flask Plan or was ever studied as an abnormal, that includes you and Hitoyoshi-kun. If it’s a different blood type than either of you then somebody else’s blood is mixed in here.”

“Whoa, that’s so clever…” Hinata said, his widening in amazement at Naze for a moment.

Then suddenly, Mikan appeared in the doorway behind her. “Uh… I… I’m sorry I’m not as useful as an Ultimate Surgeon, but I can be useful too.. I think… Please let me be useful.”

『Don’t worry, Mikan-chan. There’s a lot of things that you can do that Naze-chan can’t. After all, she’s very unpleasant so her bedside manner is atrocious.』Kumagawa reached out and patted Mikan on the head once more. 『To be honest, I could care less about Naze-chan but if you were to die I’d be completely lost.』

“Ahhhh… I’m so happy to be useful to Kumagawa-kun.” Mikan said, wiping at her eyes to stop the tears that had formed.  
  
“Hey, I’m right here you know, Senpai…” Naze snapped at him.

『Yeah...so?』

“A-anyway! I brought the autopsy report! Nanami-san was stabbed from the front, I can tell from the exit wounds, and the the cut wound is deep right underneath her heart. There would have been a lot of blood splatter behind her. I know you guys found that display gold dust katana near the body but… I think she had to be cut with a real sword the wound’s too clean.Uhhh… that’s all sorry.” She bowed her head in apology rapidly. “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you more, I’ll be more useful next time I promise.”

『Ahahaha, it’s okay Mikan-chan. For a weak and useless minus you did outstanding. Just remember everybody's expectations of you are really low, so you're always amazing them!』  
  
Hinata decided to end the investigation there because he was not nearly as good as Kumagawa as bringing down Mikan from one of her moods.

 **Evidence** **  
** >Blood in Kumagawa’s Bathroom  
>Mikan’s Testimony

  
♛

 

Now that the trial had started, Medaka gave each of them a key to undo the chains around their wrists. They stood staring at each other for a moment, each of them rubbing their wrists. Neither of them seemed to know what to say, but both boys had never been that good at talking.  
  
“I guess there’s no need, for us to be chained up together anymore…” Hinata said, looking off to the side.  
  
Komaeda felt uncomfortable again. Usually he did not notice the uncomfortable feelings that others had around him, but he watched Hinata so closely it was easy. He too, did not really like the fact that Hinata kept looking away from them. “We collected a lot of evidence, can you find the true culprit with this? I can’t wait to see your hope shine, HInata-kun.”  
  
“Just don’t get in my way, and mess with the trial like you did last time you… trial ruiner…” Hinata kept rubbing his wrists, and brought his hand up in front of his face. “It was kind of dumb being chained up like this in the first place wasn’t it? Medaka and Zenkichi tried I guess, but… another murder still happened, and nobody who was chained together learned a thing from each other.”

“I’m sure it will have a point eventually. Nothing in this world is pointless, no time you spent is wasted, Hinata-kun. It’s all leading up to something greater.”

Just then, a bell rung. “Ding, dong, ding, dong. The time for investigations is over. School trial is finally about to start. Alright, please come to Monokuma rocks.”

“You can go on ahead.” Hinata said, looking out at the ocean.  
  
Komaeda decided there was nothing he could do for Hinata. Anything he said would just upset him further after all, so he turned around and shoved his hands in his pockets walking off.  
  
“You’re a little harsh. Are you mad at Komaeda-kun for something specific he did?” Ajimu Najimi asked, suddenly sitting in the sand next to him.  
  
“It’s… If I say it it’ll sound dumb.”  


“Well, that’s true for most things you say so it shouldn’t be a big deal.” Ajimu smiled slyly at him. “Besides, they called me Miss Peace of Mind in Middle School. I like to settle students hearts when they’ve become unbalanced like this.”  
  
“I… I thought Chiaki was a special person. We spent so much time together, I tried really hard to help her and learn a lot about her…” Hinata’s hand traveled to his face, he messed up his already spiky hair by running his fingers between it and pulling at it. “So… why… Why didn’t I feel anything when I looked at her body? I should be inconsolable. Why am I so calm right now?”  
  
“Hinata-kun…”

“I just wanted to feel something for her, because I thought I cared about her a lot… So I forced myself to be angry all day for her sake, and I didn’t want to blame myself for her death so I blamed Komaeda instead… I… What am I… Why am I so calm when I see dead bodies? Why can I sometimes do things I don’t remember being able to do... Why don’t I remember anything about Hope’s Peak if I was a student there… Why… Why am I even here!?”

He had tried so hard to forget, forget the fact that there was nothing inside of him, that without the memories of his talent he was a nobody. He was not just a nobody in that regard, but also to the people on this island who already had deep running connections with one another. He had nowhere to belong to, and nothing to do with this place.   
  
He did not want to face the nothingness inside of him. He wanted to shut out that emptiness as best as he could. So he tried to listen to the others around him. To enjoy their smiles, their laughter, to understand their stories. He knew he had nothing good to say, nothing to add to them, but he thought at least he could listen. Komaeda at least, always seemed so happy when he did something as small as listening.   
  
That was not nearly enough though. He was not only nothing, but he had done nothing. Even after making all those promises to Chiaki, she had ended up dead and those promises unfulfilled. Those promises themselves were nothing, empty, just like him. He just wanted to be somebody, something of substance.

He was afraid though, afraid to look inside of himself, unspeakably afraid that he would just confirm his suspicion all along that there was nothing there. That he was utterly empty. He wanted to be better, but you couldn't create anything from nothing. That was simple logic that even an idiot like him could understand. All he could do was distract himself by trying to be a part of the lives of those around him, but even that had been ripped from him as it turned out he knew nothing at all about Nanami Chiaki. The Chiaki he had befriended he thought was just a simple girl that liked games, and yet she had dealt with so much in the past.  
  
He truly was a nobody. He was beginning to wonder, if any amount of talent would be able to fix that. 

Before Hinata could further tear himself apart, he suddenly stopped when his world went dark. That was not because of how late it was at night, or even him closing his eyes, but rather Ajimu Najimi had grabbed him and pulled his head close to her chest. “It’s okay… Hinata-kun. If it helps, even though I’m much older than you I have no idea what I was put here to do either.”

“Mmmmm…”  
  
“I know your lost memories have made you scared and confused, but there’s a good side to this as well. Everybody else here already has a bias between hope and despair, but you can witness things from an unbiased viewpoint and decide from yourself.”

“I…”  
  
“I know it’s scary being a blank slate, because you don’t know what you are, but not knowing what you are means you can become anything.”  
  
Hinata finally drew back, looking at her with his uneven eyes. “I… I just want to be useful for my friends. I hope… I can become that person.”  
  
“You are a good boy.” She said with a pleasant smile, that made Hinata think she was maybe not that different from them after all despite constantly claiming to not be human. “Albeit, a bit rude, dull, and dumb.”  
  
“Hey!”  
  
“I’m not saying it to insult you that’s just my unbiased opinion.”  
  
Regardless her words had calmed his heart just a bit. He walked towards Monokuma Rock and descended the elevator. The trial would happen next, and either way somebody would die again.  
  
In the back of his mind he thought.  
**_How predictable._ **


	15. My Impurest Heart for You (8 Rashomon x Rebuttal)

_It’s finally starting._ _  
_ _The class trial where hope crushes against other hopes._ _  
_ _Unfortunately the murder occured while I was confined to Hinata, so I wasn’t able to help._ _  
_ _But this trial will be one more stepping stone to make everyone’s hope stronger._ _  
_ _..This is really exciting._ _  
_ _No matter what the outcome is, the one winning at the end can only be hope._ _  
_

Komaeda saw these trials as playing with loaded dice.  
Either one hope was strong enough to trump everybody else’s and escape to the outside world, or everybody’s hope would come together and overcome the despair of a fallen hope willing to murder their own friends to escape.  
  
Of course these trials were loaded in another way. No matter what outcome they earned, someone would die. Exposing the murderer meant that they would be responsible for the death of one of their friends, for the sake of their own survival.  
  
However, what seemed to be rigged in the favor of despair, was actually something that would lead to an even greater hope down the line. After all, despair was just the stepping stone to hope.  
  
When he lost to Enoshima Junko, when he became an Ultmate Despair for the first time that was what he told himself. He was not being chained down, no, in fact these emotions that he had repressed for a long time had finally come to the surface. Something inside of him had broken its chains. When he released himself to despair he realized, anything and everything could be justified if it was done in the name of hope. Even despair, was just something that led to hope.  
  
So that was why he was happy. That was why he could smile in the face of despair. He knew, that this suffering was meaningful, that it would lead to something, that he was not suffering alone.

Alone. It was true that Hinata hated him now, and blamed him for the death of Nanami. That Komaeda could not even argue against it, because he was the one who wished for the killing game to continue. If Hinata were to ask him, he would say that it was a good thing for sure, because Nanami’s death would inspire Hinata to carry on with her legacy, it would not be wasted. He knew Hinata was the kind of strong person who would care for someone’s wishes and love them even after their death, even though the absence of them was painful.

That person was not him however, because Hinata hated him now. That was for the best though, Komaeda reasoned. If he was Hinata’s enemy then he would have more freedom. If Hinata was afraid of him, he would avoid him and stop monitoring him. It was really annoying last time, being by Hinata’s side all the time made him irrelevant to the killing on the island. Hinata never listened to him while he was on his side anyway, but as a rival he could easily manipulate Hinata into doing what he wanted. He could play a foe for Hinata to overcome in the end and make his hope shine brighter.

This was the best possible result. This is what he had wished for. He was oh so lucky that Chiaki had been the next one to die, and misfortune and pain had driven Hinata away from him. Things were correcting back to the ideal scenario for hope to shine.  
  
He was happy like this.  
This tight feeling in his chest, it was anticipation for what came next.  
No, he was not scared.  
He was not scared of being alone.  
  
These negative feelings that were mounting inside of him, he had to smile to keep them away. His envy towards Chiaki, was just a personal preference. He would have preferred to die in her place, because it was better that someone worthless like him die than a genuinetalent.  
  
He was not envious of Chiaki.  
Because of how much Hinata had mounred her.  
He was sure, if he died Hinata would not feel anything at all.  
That was how it should be.  
He was happy with that.  
  
Mourning trash was ridiculous, he was meant to be thrown out. The best he could hope for was to evolve into a recyclable, somebody who could be changed into a new hope for others when he was thrown out.  
  
That was his hope.  
That was hope, right?  
A despair filled hope.

♛

 

“Let’s stop talking about useless things and focus our aim…”  
  
Monkuma’s voice echoed through the arena, as well as his mocking laughter as he sat on the throne.  
  
Squaring off against him was Hinata Hajime. He leaned over the podium, and played his role perfectly as that one guy who asks dumb questions. “What’s your aim?” Because yep, Monokuma was totally going to explain everything in the second trial. I know a couple of reveals are being made early, but not that early jeez.  
  
“My aim?” Monokuma kicked up his legs to relax. “My aim is to make you give up your aims. If you want to survive you should give up those useless aims of yours. Enjoy the class trial!”  Next to him, the sound of a winding chain clanged in the air as Ajimu Najimi was chained up once more.

Hinata took a deep breath to look at the arena around him. Normally such a breath would be calming, but Hinata was unnaturally calm at the moment. He was a still stretch of water that would not move. If he was like that, then it was fine. He would use his current unbiased self to look at everyone else and combine their efforts to find Nanami’s killer, that was what he had decided. Neither hope nor despair could ripple the waters within him at the moment.  
  
His survey around the circular court, Hitoyoshi Zenkichi, Kurokami Medaka, Tsumiki Mikan, Naze Youka, Kirigri Kyoko, Kuzuryuu Fuyuhiko, Ikusaba Mukuro, Pekoyama Peko,  Gundham Tanaka, Kumagawa Misogi, Junko Enoshima… Komaeda Nagito standing across from him, and then he saw Nanami Chiaki’s portrait with her face crossed off. He looked away from it, unable to meet even the eyes of her portrait. There were only thirteen of them left. They had to argue about themselves for who would die next. Those were the uncompromising rules of this cruel game, he accepted this with an odd calm, passively reacting, reflecting, like water.  
  
“Let’s…” He spoke in a quiet voice.  
  
Only for Komaeda to immediately speak over him, raising his hand in the air. “Then… Let’s start talking about the motive. “Dangan Ronpa”. I think those who have cleared the game should know, that the game is based partially on real life events, both of a killing game that was planned to happen and the people who conspired to make it so.”

“Since…” Hinata began again.  
  
“Since there’s someone like me who didn’t play the game… Could you explain?”  Peko rossed her arms and spoke over him.  
  
“Hey! Talk in turn during the murder trial! That’s basic elementary school rules!” Hinata snapped at both of them. “What has you two so excited anyway?”

“This is a chance to make hope shine, I’m always excited…!”  Komaeda said, smiling at him.  
  
“Nevermind, I thought it might actually be for a good reason like you actually cared enough about Chiaki to want to bring her killer to justice.”

Pekoyama looked seriously through her glasses as ever. “The killer used a sword in this case, so in a way my personal pride is at stake.”  
  
“Uh… I see…” HInata stoically nodded and let Peko take over, but inside his thoughts were racing.   _I guess I’d be offended if somebody else used my talent to murder, after all Peko told me her sword is only for protection. Still, she sounds so cool, like a hero from an old samurai movie. There’s no way I’m going to say anything more convincing._

“Besdies Hinata-kun, the motive was targeted specifically at the members of class 77-B. You’re not a member of our class, so you’re just incidental to all of this.” Komaeda explained, somehow seeming condescending and polite at the same time.  
  
Hinata winced from the rejection, but tried not to take it too personally since it was technically true. He should not speak for the others or assume he was part of their class. It was foolish of him to assume this had anything to do with him in the first place. Okay, he was taking it a little personally.

Komaeda brought his finger in front of his mouth. “A secret not known to everybody here. This is how it went more or less, this is a story that begins and ends in despair….”

♛

  
“Bear with me okay. As we come to the fork in the road. As both teacher and alumni of this fine school, I see your future. There will hardships yes and heartbreak. THat’s just the way of things I’m afraid. Nevertheless, I urge you to remember the lessons learned here. Don’t miss an opportunity to spread your wings. The thought of saying farewell makes us sad, but remember. You may not be my class after today, but I will always be your cheerleader. Your very proud homeroom teacher. Chisa Yukizome.”  
  
“ Oh you guys…”  
  
“We’ve been incredibly blessed. I’m so grateful to have been in this class.”  
  
“Yeah, I’m gonna eat until I burst.”  
  
“I’m gonna shake things up with my J-rock power ballads.”  
  
“Good luck with that, I’m going to make the world a better place with my traditional dance.”  
  
“I’ll take pics smile for the camera.”  
  
“I’ll bring an end to war and bloodshed.”  
  
“All this time, you were my true friends.”  
  
“I’ll make miracle drugs to cure the sick. Illness will be a thing of the past.”  
  
“With Peko I’m legitimizing the gang. No more racketeering, or petty larson.”  
  
“I swear to never kill again.”  
  
“Large scale environmental reforms for me.”  
  
“I’ll feed the hungry, no one should go without proper nutrition again.”  
  
“I’ll become whatever I put my mind too, if I wanted I could even be president one day.”  
  
“I’m gonna be a spotter for everyone’s life goals and shit.”  
  
Komaeda Nagito stared at his own empty hand, flexing his pale fingers one by one. “However seemingly insurmountable despair may be, when all is said and done hope can’t help but triumph. That’s how it goes, giving into despair is just part of the process.”

Sitting in the desk next to Komaeda Nagito, there was a boy who looked to be his opposite. The yin to his yang. While his looks were feminine and soft, his were masculine and rough hued. His hair was whitened, uncombed, and curled in every direction. The boy’s was pitch black, and fell straight on his head, only combed to part to the right. Even their voices, Komaeda always sounded distant and melancholy, this boy spoke informally and cheerfully. 『Of course,  somebody spoiled by talent and good fortune would think winning is inevitable for them. That’s why I’m going to have so much fun playing with you all.』  
  
“Right then, just so we’re clear officially you’ll all have died here and will be removed from the school’s protection list.”  
  
“Miss you don’t have to keep repeating it we all understand.”  
  
“Hope’s Peak has to look after it’s rep if it expects to survive, despairs can’t be on the team.”

“Forgive me. I’ve been in the teacher mindset so long it’s hard to shake off...Well then…” The teacher raised her trigger, but hesitated at the last moment. “Before we say goodbye, I wanted to introduce a new transfer student.”  
  
Komaeda turned his head and realized there was one voice among his class he did not recognize him. That was the first time he saw him, the first time he saw Kumagawa Misogi. Komaeda had a belief or perhaps it was just a justification, in regards to his luck. There was a fixed amount of luck in the world. The reason his luck fluctuated predictably, between good luck and bad luck was because the sum total of the luck in the world needed to equate to zero.  
  
One’s life is plus minus zero, happiness eventually led to hardship, and the other way around as well. If he was experiencing good luck, then he was sure somebody else somewhere was experiencing. That was why despite the hardship his luck gave him, he never wished it would go away, as he was convinced if he was not the one experiencing these strange consecutive probabilities then somebody else would be. He nobly considered it his burden, or perhaps self righteously.  
  
If all of the luck in the world was fixed, then every time he experienced good luck there must have been someone out there experiencing bad luck. The moment he met his eyes, Komaeda had a feeling, this was that person.

『I am Kumagawa Misogi and I have transferred from Weekly Shonen  Jump. Ladies and Gentleman of the famous Hope’s Peak Academy I hope we can become great friends.』He said with a friendly smile and a wave. The moment Kumagawa introduced himself, all of the despair addled minds of the ultimate despairs sharpened and noticed his presence turning to face him.

『Ehhhhh? Why is everybody staring at me like that? Is it because I wasn’t paying attention to the lecture and reading manga in class instead.』He tilted his head as if confused, framing his chin with his pointer finger and thumb. 『...Or did you notice the friend I made already. Are you jealous? You talented elites can’t have her, you already have everything, she’s mine.』  
  
Sitting in Kumagawa’s lap was Nanami Chiaki. He lounged back in his desk chair like a king, and in the moment she seemed to be the queen hanging off of him. However, she was in fact a captured piece. As she used to be the central white queen of the class 77-B, before they swore their allegiance to the black queen Enoshima Junko.  
  
Yet, they were all still feeling the loss of her in their hearts, after they witnessed her try and fail to save all of them in a last ditch attempt. They had all watched her die, yet here she was, completely untouched, right in front of them.

『Hey spoiled brats, are you going to admit now. There was no excuse for you to fall into despair, you just chose to of your own free will.』  
  
“Stay away from Nanami!” One of the despairs drew their sword and rushed at Kumagawa.

He  stood up and threw his back in front of Nanami. He was sliced clear across the back, and collapsed to the floor after sustaining one blow. Despite all of the drama of his introduction, the curtain had fallen on him quickly.  
  
“What are you doing miss Yukizome? Pull the trigger already.”

『Why are you all so eager to die? Personally, I hate dying. You’re going to throw your lives away.』Kumagawa Misogi who had collapsed in a pool of his own blood just a moment ago was now standing completely untouched. 『If you don’t want it, give it to me』

That was the last thing Komaeda remembered. The sound of metal screeching, spinning like a drill. He was picked up by the neck and slammed against a wall. No matter what all sixteen of them threw at him, no matter what despairful ways they thought of making him suffer, no matter how many times he died, he would simply stand up again unharmed. He was greater than the sum of all of their talents, and yet at the same time Komaeda sensed no talent within him at all.  
  
This person is not a great talent come to defeat us. He is just like me, some completely normal bystander who just happens to be abnormal due to a supernatural quirk of his being. As he felt Kumagawa’s hands tighten around his neck, he finally met his eyes again. Until that point he had been completely unable to look the dark haired boy in the face. The boy’s face was normal as well, if a bit wide eyed. “Stop… Somebody like you can’t save us… This isn’t a happy ending at all.”

『I suppose you’re right...They say the one who resorts to violence to make his point is the moral loser in an argument』Kumagawa said, sighing as he said it once again. 『To all of you wonderfully talented people, once again I’ve lost.』He finished with the last screw and turned around casually putting his hands in his pocket. All sixteen of class 77-B was left screwed to the wall, one by one, by him. He turned his back on them, because he was busy still.

He needed to meet Enoshima Junko. He was going to introduce himself to her for the first time.

 

♛

  
  
“Kumagaaaaaawaaaaa!” Medaka roared from across the courtroom, her eyes flaring up. “Did you lie again?”

『Me? Tell a lie, I would never do that.』Kumagawa made a face like a child trying to conceal the fact that he had taken a cookie from the cookie jar. He put a finger on his cheek posing cutely.  『I hate liars the most, and I think it’s important to love one’s self.』

Hitoyoshi Zenkichi next to Medaka as always tried to speak up more reasonably. “Kumagawa… could it be you were trying to protect them? That’s why you made it seem like Junko was the only one trying to destroy the school?”

『Hahahaha! Nope! Why would I protect a bunch of spoiled brats who arrogantly thought they were the most misfortunate people in the whole world. They were all just so insignificant I completely forgot about them.』Kumagawa’s eyes sharpened for a moment, as he gripped the railing in front of him and leaned over them. 『It’s not like a person such as myself could protect anyone, anyway.』

“Well let’s just ignore what Kumagawa just said because it’s not like a person such as him is relevant to the affairs of us Ultimates, anyway. That is what happened in the past, more or less, the motive was to reveal our identities as Ultimate Despairs who had killed members of Hope’s Peak, their fellow classmates, and their own families, hahahaha but even though the motive was meant to make others target Pekoyama-san, Kuzryuu-kun, Tsumiki-san, Tanaka-kun and I… in the end it was our last remaining hope Nanami-san who died. What a sick joke,  hahahaha!”

“Saying something like that while laughing… you really are tough…” Fuyuhiko said through gritted teeth.  
  
“Tough? Are you praising me?” Komaeda’s mouth gaped wide open in surprise, he even blushed just a little bit.  
  
“It was sarcastic you idiot! Yes, we were all in despair but we ain’t like that anymore. Don’t mix reality with a game. None of us would ever kill Chiaki, not when she was the one who still believed in all of us.”

“I don’t think it’s fair to suspect the Ultimate Despairs either just because of their pasts.” Zenkichi spoke up. “A lot of us have done things we regret…”

“I participated in human experimentation with thousands of subjects…” Naze Youka spoke up to back up Zenkichi.

“And I am the result of such an experiment, perfectly melding animal and human DNA!” Gundham posed next to her reaching to cover his scarred eye with one hand.  
  
“No you’re not!” Naze snapped at him.

『I ripped a girls face off, and destroyed a few schools.』  
  
“I also did everything my sister told me in the past, and because of that I have lived a life of nothing but regret.” Mukuro added, feeling rather serious.  
  
“I killed my own adoptive father…” Kurokami Medaka looked down at the ground, “And I’ve lived a life of nothing but fighting.”  
  
“Wow, you’re all such naughty kids! I can’t believe the only pure cinnamon rolls here are Zenkichi and Hinata.” Monokuma complained from his throne. “That’s why we should have saved this Ultimate Despairs twist for the last trial, now what am I going to surprise the audience with?”  
  
“It must be you!” Suddenly, the girl with two blonde pigtails Enoshima Junko spoke up. She pointed a red pointed finger straight at Hinata. “The body ended up in your cabin, which only you have the key to! The villain is the rando with not backstory.”  
  
“Huh…” Normally such an accusation would cut Hajime who was still mourning Chiaki and had tried the hardest to investigate her murder deep to the bone but he was too surprised by something else. “I thought you said trials were too boring for you to participate in?”

『She probably got bored of being too bored to participate.』  
  
“I got bored of being too bored to participate, hey don’t steal my fucking lines!” Junko said, shouting at Kumagawa in a crude voice. Then suddenly, she shifted  curling her hands up under her face and widening her eyes to a more cutesy persona. “I thought you guys would want some help from cute wittle old me.”  
  
『Oh, Junko’s doing the cute personality swapping thing again, she must be excited.』  
  
“Somebody like you is way too terrifying to be called cute…” Hinata said with a flat expression.

“Didn’t you call her one of the hottest girls on the island once?” Komaeda asked him.  
  
“She has enough confidence as it is, she doesn't need to know that. Leave some confidence for someone else. Digressing!” Hinata’s expression suddenly became quite serious. “I would never kill Chiaki, but nobody here knows me so fine. Hit me with your best argument, I’ll counter it for the sake of everyone.”   

Junko stuck two pointed fingers to her forehead, and touched her chin with her thumb posing with her fingers in an L shape, she leaned back. “Yes, quite right. You were the last person to see her alive. She was found in your cabin bathroom for which only you possess the key, the situation has aligned so only you could be the killer.”

“That’s easy to counter. Komaeda was with me the whole time, he can provide an alibi for me.” Hinata said, looking to the other.  
  
Komaeda however, did not meet his gaze. “I have a poor memory you know, and you shouldn’t rely on an inferior person like me to prove your innocence.”  
  
Hinata’s expression turned bitter again. “You’re right, I was stupid for thinking I could rely on you.”  
  
“No wait… Hinata-kun I didn’t mean it like-”

Hinata thought deep into his memory trying to remember the events of the day. How exactly did somebody enter his cabin and move the body there. “I… left the door open. That’s how they got in, Komaeda lost the key that we were both using from the hole in his pocket.”  
  
Komaeda turned his coat pocket inside out to show everyone.

Junko’s personality turned much ruder as she stuck her tongue out. “Excuses, excuses. Fucking come on already, that doesn’t tell us that the murder didn’t take place in your cabin.” She produced a pair of glasses from her pocket and slid them over her eyes. “I incentivize you to think outside the box for this one if you want to be believed by the others. Otherwise it will still look for all as if she was killed inside of your cabin, and you have no proof to show otherwise.”  
  
“No, you’re wrong! I know she wasn’t killed in my cabin because of the Monokuma File. Chiaki was only killed with stab, and she bled to death soon after. Which means she must have been killed where the crime originally took place, which is the Beach House where her blood was found. I know her blood was there, because Naze’s black light revealed it had been mopped up. The reason it was mopped up was because…”

Hinata had to think hard on this simple answer, he closed his eyes to find it.  
  
“Are you… snowboarding…?” Junko muttered, her expression becoming more neutral.  
  
“The body was moved!” He pointed straight at her. “The crime originally took place in the beach house!”

“Well duh, that was obvious. Even though you’re playing detective do you always get led to the nose to the conclusions you’re supposed to reach by others like this?” Junko asked him, her dull gray contact covered eyes boring straight into him.  
  
HInata hesitated for a moment. “W..wait, what?”  
  
“Oh, sorry. I’m not supposed to be doing character analysis right now it’s a bad habit of mine.” Junko produced a crown from nowhere. “Then, I do decree there is only one of you peasants that could have done it. Princess Kurokami Medaka was found sleeping at the scene of the crime was she not? The game motive could have just been a ruse, and instead somebody completely unrelated could commit a murder and frame one of we lovely Ultimate Despairs for doing it.”

“Indeed, her appearance in the Beach House is suspicious.” Peko brought a finger to the side of her cheek. “But it could also be a ploy set up by the real killer. Isn’t that so, Enoshima?”  
  
“Waaaaaah!” Junko overdid her reaction to the suddenly accusation, holding her arm in front of herself and scowling as if she was truly offended. “What are you saying, you two dimensional girl with a katana in a schoolgirl outfit stereotype?”  
  
“You were at the crime scene in the beach house, right?”  
  
“I… I was not… I was bullying Misogi all day long. I only cut my hand off because Kurokami-san was so boring I was getting impatient."

“That’s wrong. There’s something fishy about the story Kumagawa told me. Why would Kurokami Medaka simply let you cut off your own hand to escape your handcuffs? She could have easily overpowered and stopped you..” Hinata said, pointing out the flaw in her argument.  
  
Kurokami Medaka spoke up again. “That is correct! Enoshima Junko poisoned me with anesthetics she bought from the pharmacy slipped into my drink. Then, when I was asleep she cut off her own hand to free herself. The fact that I was awake at the crime scene, and she was the only one that could have moved my unconscious body at the time puts her at the crime scene.”

“We found your hand in yours and Kurokami’s room after all. It’s right here if you want it… “ Komaeda said, as he pulled a severed hand from his pocket.  
  
“W-who allowed you in my room? P-pervert?” Junko’s personality switched to her cutesy one again, as she blushed and covered her face.

“Dude, you were supposed to put that back…” Hinata stared at Komaeada with a blank expression.  
  
Peko spoke up again as well. “Also, the appointment time written in the letter that was discovered in the beach house, covered in Chiaki’s blood lines up with the time that Kurokami claimed you sedated her.”  
  
Hinata thought over his evidence again, trying to find the perfect one to add to Peko’s argument. “Oh, Chiaki and Fuyuhiko were exchanging letters but there was a strange one among the letters written in pink pen. The same kind of pen that Chiaki’s letter was written in, and both claimed to be sent by the other. Is it possible, you sent a fake letter to Chiaki so you would know ahead of time when she’d be at the beach house.”  
  
“No…that’s… like totally not my handwriting. Mine is way cuter!” Junko spoke up defending herself.

“Copying somebody’s handwriting with an abnormality like Super Highschool Level analysis would be childsplay…” Naze spoke up again, her single eye focusing on Junko.  
  
Zenkichi spoke up. “Ah, now that you mention it. Soon after that, Junko showed up at our cabin covered in blood and I passed out from the sight of it. It had to be around 5:30 Pm, that’s about how long it takes to get from the second island back to the first one.” He looked over to Fuyuhiko. “Wait, if Kuzryuu got a letter asking him to meet with them, then was he there too?”

“No… I didn’t see her. I never went to the meeting, I was too busy in my room preparing for my date at the diner.”  
  
“That’s very suspicious!” Naze said, smiling under her bandages at Fuyuhiko.  
  
“That’s the truth! I can’t help it!”

“Let’s forget that guy for now… It’s useless to investigate further. According to the letter, and Zenkichi and Medaka’s testimony, the only one who could be in the beach house with Nanami was Junko.”  
  
“Tha-... That’s a trap! Someone has set a trap for me!” Junko said, gripping her head with one hand. She ran her hand through her blonde hair as a depressing aura overcame her. “You guys all suspect me, I guess that’s a given since everybody looks at us Ultimate Despairs like we’re trash on the side of the road….”

“Enoshima freed herself from the chains that bound her to Kurokami, and invited her to the beach house because she wanted to kill her, right? There’s even a chipped portion of your red nails that was found at the scene of the crime. You’re the only one who wears fake nails like that, aren’t you?”  
  
“W-what are you talking about…” Junko drummed her red nails on the podium in front of her. “There’s no way I’d wear something like that, I’m not some superficial girl who care about her looks. My nails and my hair are both natural.”  
  
“Fuhahahaha!” Gundham picked up one of hishamsters in hand and pointed at Junko with two bandaged fingers. “The solution to the puzzle has been found! Enoshima, who lured Nanami to the beach house, was hiding in the closet like a demon. Like a demon she caught the chance to attack Nanami, then she left the house like wind. Fuhaha! This explains everything! THere’s no need for the four dark lords of destruction to take action.”

It was Komaeda who spoke up in defense of Junko. Surprisingly, Kumagawa was remaining silent. “Junko’s nail that was chipped, but none of the nails she’s currently wearing are chipped. Instead, on the hand she left behind in her room, one of the nails was left broken in advance.” He said, holding up the hand showing the evidence to the others.  
  
“Don’t think you’ll be able to clear every suspicion with just a single hand!” Fuyuhiko said as he balled his fingers up into a fist. “She got covered in Nanami’s blood and then ran to clean herself off at her dumb boyfriend’s! That’s the truth of the matter.”

『Ehh, but the blood in my shower is all Zenkichi, and Junko’s. Isn’t that right? You could type it, Naze-chan.』  
  
“Yes, but I found Type O blood in your bathroom which belonged only to Nanami.”

『Ah! I should not have opened my mouth I only made things worse!』Kumagawa grabbed the side of his face in panic.

Peko’s gaze pointed at Junko could kill in that moment. “See, she was covered in Nanami’s blood. It’s obviously her.”

“No… you’re wrong!” Hinata suddenly objected to all of the others ganging up on Junko, as he saw the flaw in their collective argument. “Yes… Junko was covered in blood, but earlier your blood pattern analysis said that the blood splashed behind Chiaki when she was stabbed. Meaning there was somebody standing behind her, not only that but Chiaki was stabbed from the front which meant Junko could not have done it. Even if she was present at the scene of the crime.”

“Ah, I’m glad you realized that Hinata-kun. I’m sure you were also pretending not to notice the obvious fact that it would have been impossible for Ensohima-san to move not only Nanami-san, but also Kurokami-san when she only had one hand, and was bleeding out.” Komaeda added to his argument.  
  
“Oh uh… yes, I totally was about to bring that up.” Hinata nodded, trying to play it off smoothly. “So… if Junko’s nail was broken ahead of time… then, were we supposed to think she was the only one who was there at the crime scene by making it obvious she was there?”  
  
“It’s a trap! Damnit! Who the hell set this trap! I’m gonna show em real despair!” Junko’s crude personality thrashed about, until suddenly she stopped, grabbing her crown and placing it on her head again. She broke out into uproarious laughter “Upupupupupupupu! We have been waiting for you to discover our trap! We have been waiting for such great hopes as yourself.”  
  
“We…” _This girl is weird. Kumagawa has such weird taste._ Hinata thought as he reeled from all the changes back and forth. “Then, you were hiding the fact that you had an accomplice that commited the crime for you!”

“Yep. You’re right.” Junko said suddenly, dropping the crown off her head as a bored expression took hold on her face.  
  
“What? That was way too easy!” Hinata said, exasperated.  
  
“The truth is I ordered Mukuro to carry Kurokami-san’s body to the closet, and then lie in wait. When Chiaki and I started to talk, she suddenly popped out and killed her in one hit. That’s all she’s good for after all. Then I told Mukuro to move the body to your cabin to frame you, and left to go make Misogi my alibi. According to the rules though, the person who killed her directly is the blackened so you should all vote for my big sis.”

Pekoyama suddenly spoke up. “I remember now, Enoshima Junko asked for that rule to be clarified on the first day, whether it was the mastermind of a crime who was punished or not. She was planning this all along.”

“No… Wait, I wouldn’t kill anybody…” Mukuro looked stunned. Her usually silent face grew worried, showing so much emotion it almost looked like it didn’t belong to her.

“I even asked big sis to hang out with me all day, so we’d be able to plot the crime together. Nobody else saw her after she was on the beach with me, right?”  
  
“Y-you said you wanted me to come hang out on the beach with you because it would make you hotter in comparison to have the plain looking me standing next to you, Junko…” Mukuro whined again looking more and more like a kicked puppy. “I was with somebody that day as well…” She looked to Kyoko, only to see the other girl look away from her.  
  
Hinata looked to Mukuro. “Who was it?”  
  
“It was… Nobody… I was alone.”  
  
“Then you don’t have an alibi?” Hinata continued to press her.

『You’re wrong it couldn’t be Mukuro! Think of the murder weapon, it wasn’t one of the fake swords from her wall.』  
  
“Yeah… you can’t kill anybody with a fake sword… I just thought they looked cool.”

Komaeda spoke up again. “There was a real sword missing from Kurokami-san’s apartment though, the same one she confiscated from Pekoyama-san in her fight. She could have just stolen that back from Kurokami-san when she was unconscious and handed it to you.”  
  
“I promised not to kill anyone, anymore...” Mukuro said again her voice growing weaker.  
  
“Are you sure about that big sis? Remember the fight with Kurokami-san the other day? All she had to do was threaten your precious younger sister a little bit and you fought like you were willing to kill.” Junko said, smiling at the panic of her older sister.  
  
Kurokami only nodded. “Yes, that is what I recall as well.”

『No, you’re wrong!』Kumagawa spoke up, coming to her defense again when she could not. 『If she had moved the body she would be covered in blood. Nobody reported seeing her covered in blood afterwards.』

“Don’t underestimate me!” Peko said, suddenly glaring at Kumagawa like she was challenging him to a duel.  “There’s a shower in the beach house… She just had to wash the blood away!”

Kumagawa struck back.『She couldn’t do that! The shower in the beach house hasn’t been repaired yet.』

“Ah…There were water bottles in the trash can. She was wearing a swim suit that day, so she could have easily washed herself out with the water.”  Peko countered his blow.  
  
『Then, how did she leave without being seen? The only exit route was the window in the bathroom, otherwise she would have left footprints in the beach on the way out.』  
  
“She could have climbed up to the window! She’s incredibly athletic…”

『Mukuro-chan is quite athletic, but she can’t just run up walls this isn’t a manga.』  
  
“She stabbed the sword into the wall and then used it as leverage.”

『If that was the case then the wall would have had marks on it, which it did not.』Kumagawa said before winking. 『And now that I’ve won this argument… I congratulate you on giving me my first victor-』

  
“Wait.” Komaeda spoke up, interrupting the two of them from their verbal clash. “Kumagawa, you didn’t investigate. How did you know all those details about the crime scene, and the bathroom in particular?”

『Oh nooo! I’ve said too much! I’ve lost again! Okay, you’re right I killed Chiaki-chan.』

Komaeda continued “I think Zenkichi’s testimony is true, you would have been with him until Junko showed up on your doorstep, but right after that girl that you cared about so much showed up covered in blood. Did you move the body to cover up the crime scene?”

『Awe, even my false confession ploy didn’t last too long. Truly my efforts are worthless in the face of hope. Yep, I moved the body without being seen, and while also lugging an unconscious Zenkichi-chan around. I’m manly and talented enough to do that.』

Komaeda spoke up first. “You’re right, Kumagawa-kun you are too worthless to plot a crime like this, and too weak to carry around two people on your back That’s why even though I usually support the criminal for as long as I can I had to expose you right away. I can’t let someone worthless like you pretend to take part in this school trial..”

『You’re right, I’ve never plotted a single thing in my life.』

“Are the two trial ruiners working together?” Hinata cried out in shock, before he tried to go over the case once more in his head. He needed to try to figure out the method that Kumagawa moved the body to prove that he did it.  
  
“There’s no way Junko would rely on somebody like Kumagawa to act as her accomplice,” Komaeda continued.

『You’re right, you’re right, a smart girl like her has to know I’m incompetent.』

“A person like you could never deceive Ultimates, or come up with a method of moving a body that would slip under their watchful eyes.”

『You’re right again! I’m glad we finally found something to agree upon, Nagito-chan. We can both get along talking about how bad I am at everything』  
   
“Would you two shut up while I’m thinking!” Hinata finally pieced it together. “I know how you moved the body and covered up your tracks. You stole a plastic floatation device from the closet, and a long hook, and then you loaded Nanami into the flotation device as well as Zenkichi dragging them both along the beach as you walked. Then, you pushed the flotation device onto the water and used the long hook as an oar to navigate along the edge of the island until you got back to the first island.”

『Ah, is that so? Then where’s the plastic flotation device? Shouldn’t it be on shore?』  
   
Komaeda immediately looked to Monokuma. “I’d like to ask for a rule clarification. Did you ban Kumagawa from using all of his supernatural abilities, or just All Fiction? For instance can he still make his screws appear at will?”

“Of course! Why would I limit him from a perfectly good murder weapon. Those screws are iconic! I’m going to make so much merchandise from them!” On his throne, Monokuma wobbled back and forth in excitement.  
  
“Then, there you have it. You sunk the craft after you were done with it, by screwing a hole in it. Then you dragged Chiaki the short distance to Hinata-kun’s cabin where the door was already open, and you returned to your own cabin with Zenkichi-chan.”

『I see good for you. You figured it out. I moved Medaak-chan with the same method too.』  Kumagawa clapped his hands together politely. Then suddenly, his pleasant face twisted. He leaned forward, letting his bright form give way to the shadows which covered both his expression and seemed to be dripping off of him. The only thing visible of his face was his mouth, the corners of which twisted upwards into a smile as he unleashed uproarious laughter. 『Hahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha!』  
  
Kumagawa laughed,  
And laughed,  
And laughed.  
  
“What are you doing…?” Hinata asked with a flat expression.

『I wanted to try one of those maniacally laughing scenes. It’s no fair if Komaeda gets to do it, then I should too. Come on, narrate about how hope and despair is swirling in my eyes.』

“It’s… not though.”

『Awe, can I still not do the swirly eye thing? How come everybody can do that but me it looks so cool.』

  
“Take this seriously dude? Why did you move the body!”

『Why else of course? If Junko really did commit that crime, and she was executed by all of you that means I’d be sharing my victory with all of you.』 His fingers curled around the edges of his podium, his eyes pale lights that glowed with obsession, the only thing shining of his face that was otherwise hidden and that nobody wanted to look too closely at either. 『I’m the only one allowed to defeat Junko.』  
  
It was not Hinata, but Zenkichi who called him out again. “You’d risk everybody else for a stupid reason like that? If we got the culprit wrong, we’ll all die.”

『That’s fine. You guys are all just the stepping stones to my victory after all.』

At somebody else using his stepping stone metaphor, Komaeda flinched.

『Isn’t it obvious by now? The only person that matters to me is Junko. You could all go die for all I care. I’ll play nice if that’s what’s required of me, but I’d sacrifice everything in a second for the sake of my victory. I would lose you all eventually anyway. To me you might as well be side characters in a game that die and endlessly respawn, the only real person on this island is Junko. 』  
 

 In the face of Kumagawa’s ranting, the only person who could keep their calm enough to speak up was Kyoko. “Is that really the case, Kumagawa?”

『Huh?』  
  
“After all, in both trials you stepped up to defend Ikusaba-san.”

『...』

“Who gives a fuck about Kumagawa’s terrible taste in women? I care less about that than I do about finding the murderer! It’s obvious that bitch Junko did it!”

“But, she had to have an accomplice…” Hinata spoke up again. “Somebody who was at the scene of the crime besides her...Fuyuhiko, was it you?”

“What?”

“Even though you and Kuzuryuu were supposed to show up for the Diner for a date, the two of you arrive separately. You also only showed up after five o clock. You were given a letter to meet with Chiaki as well, even if it was just a set up for Junko. Were you there?”  
  
“I… Fuck..”  
  
“Now that I think about it, your suit was unbelievably wet. You said you threw it down to cover up a puddle for Peko, but you and Peko didn’t walk there together. Not only that but you invited Gundham, Me, Komaeda, and Mikan to the date as well. Was that so there’d be no witnesses, but plenty of people to back up the fact that you were at the cafe?”  
  
In the background, Komaeda gasped. “Amazing. The culprit and every else… Fellow hopes split in two groups trying to catch the hope. The clash of the two hopes is a wonder to behold! This is the true beauty of the school trial. You two keep fighting please.”  
  
Naze looked back at Komaeda her one eye discerning. “You immediately ratted Kumagawa’s mischief out, but considering your behavior last trail whose side are you on again?”

“I’m just supporting the “hope that can crush any despair, an absolute hope that is born between two fellow hopes!” Kumagawa said, holding both of his hands out as if trying to grasp something that fell from both Fuyuhiko and Hinata.  
  
“He is neither black nor white, but a creature of grey… He cares not for victory nor even his own life…” GUndham said with his arms crossed.  
  
“He’d be easier to understand if he was just a villain,” Kirigiri said, as she quite liked the black and white mastermind and detective showdowns that appeared in the pages of detective novels.

Naze’s bandages wrinkled indicating her bandages underneath did the same. “He’s a bit like Kumagawa when I first met him, he’s pure hearted with a mix of good and evil swirling around in there.”  
  
“That’s enough… Listening to Komaeda is a waste of time.” HInata said, calling everybody’s attention once more. “Kuzuryuu, I want you to give us clear evidence that you weren’t at the beach house  that day. There must be somebody who can testify to that fact.”  
  
Fuyuhiko glanced back at Peko for a moment.  
  
In her heart, Peko desperately wished to confess at that moment. To say anything that would cast the suspicion off of Fuyuhiko. Despite the fact that she had been acting as a cold deliverer of justice this whole trial, inside she was shaking, torn between her most precious pride, and the newfound friendship she had with Hajime. In that moment before she threatened to split apart she cried out. “I saw Fuyuhiko! He came to pick me up early for my date, but I was nervous so I told him to go on ahead and he walked straight there. There’s no way he could have stopped at the beach house.”  
  
“Peko, that’s enough. You don’t have to lie to them.” Fuyuhiko’s face darkened. He drew out a knife from his pocket that looked like the kind of short sword that was just ceremonial for yakuza members to carry. He pinched the strap of the dragon patterned eyepatch which covered his eye, and severed it in an instant causing it to fall. Underneath the eyepatch, a red eye was revealed.  
  
The red eye however was not originally the one in his skull. He had plucked it out and replaced it with another. That was obvious from the marks around his eye, and from the dead way the eye looked out at the others. Pieces of his flesh were torn back and scarred in the ameteur surgery. “I’m the one who did it! I reverted to despair and became Enoshima Junko’s tool again!”  
  
Fuyuhiko laughed,  
He laughed, maddening and frenzied.  
As if laughing was his only form of breathing, and he was desperate for air.  
“Upupupupupupupupupupupupu! All of you trying to hope still are so weak! You should have given yourselves over to despair! Once you taste it you can’t get enough! You’ll destroy everything around you to see more and more of it! Just to try it again, I was willing even to have my precious class rep die again!”  
  
His body had been whipping around as he did so, almost none of the previous restrained, cool looking Fuyuhiko remaining. Suddenly though he was leaning back far enough to crack several columns of his spine, he moved forward again leaning completely over his podium. “However! You should not vote for me as the killer. As I have no free will of my own. All of us Ultimate Despairs were brainwashed to become Enoshima Junko’s puppets. The only reason I killed Nanami that day was because she ordered it. I am her tool! You said the mastermind who manipulates others into killing isn’t the blackened, but what if she used me as a human weapon to kill Nanami just as she did last time.”  
  
“Hmm…. Dunno… I’ll think about it.” Monokuma from the throne pressed a cute little paw against his mouth.  
  
Fuyuhiko madly looked at the others. “If you vote for me, you’ll have chosen wrong! Execute Junko already! This is your only chance!”

However, it was Zenkichi who interrupted him. “I don’t believe it! I don’t believe a guy like you would draw a sword to kill someone.”  
  
“I’ve killed plenty of people in the past. It’s my yakuza background that let me fall into despair.” Fuyuhiko said, the implanted eye in his socket bouncing around as he tried to glare back at Zenkichi with both eyes.  
  
“No… You learned to be better. You told me. We talked for so long. You said you wanted to protect the one woman you had left in your life.” Zenkichi slammed his hand on the podium. “Are you that desperate to kill Junko in revenge that you’d risk losing her?”  
  
“I…” Fuyuhiko considered his scheme right then. There was a chance that he could get them all to vote for Junko, but that did not necessarily mean Monokuma would rule in his favor. There was a chance if Junko was not the killer, that Peko would die. “I... I’m the one who killed Chiaki. Just vote for me already and end it.”  
  
“Young master, no you cannot!” Peko cried out.  
  
“It’s fine, I should have faced this from a man like the start…”

It all clicked together for Hinata. “Then, the reason you called us out to the diner that day, is because you were plotting to kill Junko? But it went wrong and you killed Chiaki instead.”

Junko yawned. “Gooood, you guys take forever. You should get a nose ring, Rando so it’ll be easier to lead you to the point. Basically, yeah, Fuyuhiko and Peko those two both ever since the motive was announced were plotting to kill me in some way as revenge for me making them into Ultimate Despairs. That’s why I decided to intercept their plans and have a little fun.”

  
  
♛

 

Enoshima Junko waved at the two of them with one hand. They both glared at her hostile. “That’s a rude way to treat me, when I went through all the trouble of making sure we could meet alone after I noticed your little plan to kill me.”

  
Kuzryuu, and his shadow Pekoyama. When she summoned Fuyuhiko the other was guaranteed to appear. Enoshima picked up the sword she had brought from Medaka’s to the ground and threw it at Pekoyama’s feet.  
  
“The fuck are you doing?” Fuyuhiko said in shock, not understanding the girl in front of him at all.

“Well come on. You were planning to kill me weren’t you? Chance time!” She smiled at Fuyuhiko showing all of her teeth. “Just order her to do it like you always did in the past. You want your revenge don’t you?”  
  
“It’s okay, Young Master. I’ll cut her down if you-”  
  
“Just wait a fucking minute! What are you trying to pull?”

“I’m being nice here. Jeez, nobody appreciates me even when I’m nice, It’s no wonder I”m so mean all the time.” Junko pointed at him with a red nail. “This is what you wanted isn’t it? You just wanted to blame everything you did wrong on me, and then kill me so you could pretend like it was all my fault.”  
  
“It was all your fault! You brainwashed me! You used the despair videos to make us into despair loving freaks like you.”  
  
“God, I wish! I was working Mitarai so hard too. That would have been super convenient, but mostly it just turned people into despair zombies. Which is cool, but you special people were even cooler. I handpicked you one by one to be my accomplices, yes, but there was no mind control involved.”  She tilted her head, her smile growing even more shadowed. “Your despair was all your own.”

“Shut up…” Fuyuhiko hissed at her.  
  
Suddenly, from the background Nanami made herself visible. “Fuyuhiko… There was no mind control involved. What she said was true. You all went to Junko’s side by your own choice, I watched you go one by one.”  
  
“What…?” Fuyuhiko turned his head slowly. “Class Rep, what are you doing here?”  
  
“I thought it’d be fun to show your beloved class rep you were planning to kill again.”  
  
“No, I don’t believe her!” Nanami said, holding her hands close to her chest. “I know you wouldn’t kill anybody, Fuyuhiko. It’s true that you chose to help Junko once, but because it was your free will you can choose to do better from now on.”

“Then… Those dreams I’ve been having. They’re real.. All of it? My parents are really dead?”  
  
“Yep, and the one who killed them is right behind you.” Junko pointed at Peko. “You let her fight all your battles for you. So just do it one more time, get your revenge and you can close your eye on an ugly reality.”  
  
“Shut up!”  
  
“You’re not strong enough on your own. Didn’t you notice? The moment you fell back to despair you started to rely on her again? You always threw her to fight for you, and kill for you, like she was some kind of pokemon. You barely got your hands dirty with despair because she was doing all the work for you.”  
  
“Shut up you bitch!”  
  
“Who knows what you’ll lose next. If you let me keep living, I promise I’ll take everything from you Fuyuhiko, and you’ll be powerless to stop it. Because the first thing I’m going to do is take your strength, Pekoyama-”  
  
“I said shut up!” Fuyuhiko saw the hand which Pekoyama was holding her sword trembling. He knew it would only take Peko half a second to cut through Junko if she so wished it. However, in that moment he also realized what Junko’s intention was. To die by Peko’s hand, and make Peko the blackened. Which would make Fuyuhiko unable to protect her this time, unlike the time where she had cut down his parents.  
  
“Fuyuhiko, no!” Nanami Chiaki cried out.  
  
He could not let that happen. He grabbed the sword from her, and in one motion struck forward. He would fight with his own strength, he’d kill Junko himself. Peko was not his tool to use. He was so blinded by emotion though, that he did not look where he had stabbed the sword. “Everything… Everything would be better if you were just dead…”

When he looked up though, he saw Chiaki at the end of his sword and not Junko. “Huh… class...rep?” Fuyuhiko’s voice cracked, even though he had seen death up close several times before.  
  
“Fuyuhiko… please… don’t kill anyone…” Blood dribbled from the corner of Chiaki’s lips as she tried to smile. “I don’t want anybody in my class, to hurt anybody anymore, because… I know that it’ll just hurt them worse. I care for all of your guys.” Even to save her enemy, Chiaki had jumped forward to stop Fuyuhiko from swinging his sword at the last moment, only to end up impaled on it instead. That was how dangerously selfless of a girl she was.   
  
She slumped forward and fell off the blade. The blood from the attack had splashed onto Junko, who was absolutely delighted. “Oh wow… I wasn't even expecting the class rep to jump in the way. She died almost exactly the same way she did last time, failing to save her friends. This world might actually be designed to work in my favor after all.”  
  
Chiaki opened one eye to look back at Junko. “I… never could understand you but I think I get it now. The world is a game to you, too, huh? Then… why aren’t you having any fun?”

“...” Junko was silent for a long while, the full minute it took Chiaki to die with those as her last words, and afterwards she clapped her hands together. “Alright, so you two wanted to kill me right? Well your next best bet is to frame me for the murder of Nanami-senpai. I can tell you how to frame me perfectly, and as a bonus that beloved master of yours will get off the island Pekoyama.”

 

♛

  
After that confession, the vote came in naming Kuzryu Fuyuhiko the culprit.

  
In the present Junko’s eyebrow twitched looking annoyed. “Well, it would have all gone perfectly if Kumagawa had not shown up and completely destroyed the crime scene.”

『It’s not my fault. I really thought you killed her.』

“I see… I finally understand now. But I already suspected it so. Hinata-kun the alarm went off after we discovered the body right? That’s two, and one more was Kumagwa-kun who moved the body. Which means that everybody else present at the crime was considered an accomplice. Monokuma made a special rule to account that if several people attacked a person at once, they would be accomplices and only the person who dealt the killing blow would be the blackened. Which means, Pekoyama-san why did you show up when Kuzuryuu-kun was summoned by the letter? Were you his accomplice?”

“No, I was his tool. I’m just a tool that he uses. He should have used me to kill her, but I’m a useless tool who failed her master…”

“A person living as a tool… You said you were childhood friends. What’s the relationship between you two, really?”  Hinata asked, looking on in confusion.  
  
“What kind of person would be childhood friends with a Yakuza heir? We.. Were raised together as kids. Peko was… given to me as my hitman.”  Fuyuhiko started to explain.  
  
“My parents abandoned me soon after I was born, and the Kuzryuu family picked me up… My reason to exist is to be the young master’s property until I die. If the young master was being attacked, I’d be his shield and protect him, if he wanted to kill someone I would be his sword and kill that person. That is the only reason I am allowed to keep living, before I am a human being I am the young master’s tool…” She looked to the bear sitting on the throne. “That’s why please! Allow me to die in his place! This isn’t right! I’ve failed him by failing to act as his sword.”

“I see, to her then hope itself was Fuyuhiko. Then, why did you strike forward at that moment Kuzuryuu-san? What hope fueled you to strike out despair?” Komaeda in all of this, kept watching like a passive observer, a member of the audience.

“No… Peko… This is the best result.” _This way he did not have to lose her._ He thought of a sunny day, sitting on the edge of a traditional wooden building. Peko came to his side and sat next to him. That happy memory in his mind, he tried to smile. His serenity was having Peko by his side. He could not imagine a world without, and because of that dying in this moment was preferable to him. If the choice was between dying and living without her, he was glad he grabbed the sword in that moment.

 _Peko has been by the side of a weak guy like me for so long.  
_ _She saw all of my weakness, and yet she still wanted to remain by my side.  
_ _To my parents she was just a tool, but to me she was..._ _  
_ _What is she to me?  
_ _She's so much beyond that...  
She's... something unattainable.   
  
_ _I want to hold her._ _  
_ _I don’t want to lose her._ _  
_ _I don’t care about anything else, I want her to exist forever._ _  
_ _That’s the wish of a selfish brat like myself._

That day that he recalled, the two of them ate rice together and when she got a grain stuck on her cheek he reached forward and brushed it off, for her. At their closeness, without thinking, Peko smiled. That small smile, was so naturally warm.  
  
“I’m sorry Zenkichi. I was just trying to get close to you to plot a way to get Junko and Medaka separated, but then… I got caught red handed in my plotting halfway through, and I acted like an idiot in revenge again like I did in the past.”  
  
“Who cares about all that? Don’t you get it? Fuyuhiko admitted his guilt and is resigning himself to his fate because he doesn't’t want you to die.” Zenkichi spoke up again. “Come on man, you don’t have much time left. You’re going to be separated no matter what so the least you can do is tell her.”  
  
“Peko I… you didn’t fail me okay… I failed myself…” Fuyuhiko looked down at his feet.

“No, I was the one who failed. Please let me pay for this mistake for you. If I had been more useful-”  
  
“How many times do I have to repeat it? I don’t need any tool!”  
  
“I-is that so?”  
  
“It’s weird… You’ve always been by my side, so why can’t you understand it. I… don’t need any sword or shield. I aslo don’t need any tool so… You just had to be yourself! What I need was not a tool… it was you! You never once failed me!”  
  
“Young master..?”

“Why can’t you understand Peko? THe reason I swung the sword on my own, wasn’t because I thought you were useless! It’s so you couldn’t be the one to swing the sword… Actually I… I really wanted to protect you… At that time…”

“Young master! I need you! Don’t leave me alone! I don’t care about being a tool! I just wanted an excuse to remain by your side, I would have done anything for that!” Pekoyama cried out, tears fogging up her glasses.

  
  
**Game Over**

 **Kuzuryuu Fuyuhiko Has Been Found Guilty.**   

『Medaka-chan, grab Peko-chan.』

 **  
** **Best Battle** **  
**

Fuyuhiko looked all around him. Suddenly he had been dragged away into the middle of a gang battle. There were several different cardboard cut outs shooting at one another in a maze like configuration of cardboard cutout buildings.  
  
Fuyuhiko dived behind one of them as he watched the action. He wondered if there was any way to escape. Perhaps if he kept dodging the bullets he would find his way out. He had been caught in gang turf wars like this before.  
  
He looked up to see behind a number of the cardobard cutouts with gun, there was a gangster style Monokuma controlling them. Then, he was in charge of one side of the turf war. Perhaps if he just kept hiding like a coward he would just be able to sit this all out and watch each side kill each other.  
  
It was worth being a coward if he got to see Peko again. He ducked down as low as he could waiting, until he saw a flash of white hair. As he raised his head there was a shadow that resembled Peko.  
  
No way, she would not come all the way in this place to save him would she? If Peko died here, that would mean his choice to swing his sword at that moment would be in vain. The shadow was coming near him, Peko really was trying to save him.  
  
Fuyuhiko rushed forward to cover her. As he threw his body in front of her, he was shot fatally several times in the back. Just as he fell to the ground, Peko turned around noticing him. As his vision faded out, he saw it was nothing more than a Monokuma in a silver wig.  
  
Ah, that was fine.  
If Peko really had come out here to save him then she might be going through the pain that he felt right now. In that moment he thought of an order he had given her once, he never thought Peko would follow it.   
_A time will come when you are not by my side.  
_ _Even so.  
_ _Live..._  
Fuyuhiko died a few moments later, with a regretful smile.

 

♛

 

Pekoyama thrashed across the ground, held there by Kurokami Medaka. She had been killing all her life, but she had never met somebody of this girl’s strength. Yet, still she desperately struggled. “Let me go! I need to be by his side! I should have been the one executed.” She slammed her hand hard on the ground. “It should have been me… Why… Why am I still here?”

“I.. I’m sorrry I can’t answer that question.” Medaka said, as she slowly let go of Pekoyama.  
  
Hinata walked over to Pekoyama’s side, holding a hand out for her. Immediately Pekoyama threw herself at Hinata, clinging to him entirely for support. “Why am I the one that lived?”  
  
“I think he just wanted to protect you, Pekoyama.”  
  
“What’s the point of him protecting me if I’m not by his side anymore!” She screamed out, breaking her usual silent composure entirely.  
  
Hinata had no answer for that either. He merely let Pekoyama continue clinging to him. Hinata looked over Peko’s shoulder, at Kumagawa who was standing there with his hands in his pockets. “Fuyuhiko was right about something. This is all Junko’s fault. Do you really want to be on the side of a clown who can laugh at a scene like this? Do you feel nothing at all?”

『Yep! I’ve always been on the side of the jokers.』Kumagawa said, without a bit of hesitation or remorse. He walked over to Monokuma, and poked at the bear. 『Monokuma-chan can I get an ambulance for Junko? It would be troublesome if she died of blood loss, she needs a blood transfusion.』  
  
“Ah. Fine, whatever. You’re always so demanding for a dirty river bear who doesn’t even belong in this game.”  
  
『And let me ride with her. If I let you take her alone, you’ll make her into a cyborg or something.』  
  
“What? I wanna do that, that sounds cool!” Junko said. 

『You’d get bored of being a cyborg super fast.』  
  
“How do you know that?” Junko threw her arms up in mock surprise, playing along with him. 

『I've acquired Super Highschool Analytical Prowess!』

"You're not allowed to do that, that's my thing! Your thing is being the idiot." 

『Well, even an idiot can predict that because you get bored of everything super fast.』

"I'm bored of this conversation."

『Ah, what an unexpected and terrible twist.』

The ambulance was summoned, and Monokuma dragged Junko in, Kumagawa stepping in a moment afterwards. Everybody was willing to let them leave in silence, as nobody had any particular affection for them besides Mukuro who was being quiet as usual.  
  
It was Zenkichi who spoke up. “You really have changed.”

『So have you, Zenkichi-chan. You’ve become even more useless. Because you pulled that stupid stunt of  stabbing yourself in the stomach you were weak, and couldn’t do anything but be dead weight carried around by me this entire round.  What good were you to Medaka-chan? Were you any use to Fuyu-chan in the end? You didn’t even manage to stop me from tricking you. Maybe if you had been around to help Fuyu-chan things would not have ended in the worst possible result.  All you did was sleep this round. The old Zenkichi-chan would have had an attitude of ‘I’d never lose to tragedy’. But you’ve lost two times in a row now… It’s disappointing. You’re just not suited to this genre.』  
  
Despite his terrible words, Kumagawa smiled at them.

『It’s because of idiots like you, that I know I’m going to win for sure. Ah, if I win will you witness my hope too, Nagito-chan?』

"I don't have to even consider that possibility, because there's no way somebody like you will ever win.. Any victory you earned would be empty, there's no hope in that. You're not even in my sight." Komaeda said, as he watched Kumagawa disappear in the back of the ambulance.   
  
『Ah, is that so. I thought if we could be friends you'd be less lonely at least. Oh well.』The last part of Kumagawa to disappear was his smile, just like the Cheshire cat, grinning at them through madness. 

 


	16. The Shadow Always At Your Feet (1 - Rest x No Recovery)

Komaeda expected to witness hope at this trial. He was sure, whoever murdered Nanami Chiaki the last remaining hope of class 77-B and the Ultimate Despairs had a good reason for doing so, that they were a hope that could transcend even Chiaki’s wonderful selfless hope.  
  
However, the end result he had witnessed was Chiaki had died from an accident, the prime mover in this scenario was not hope’s advocate him but rather despair’s advocate Ensohima Junko, and Peko could not grasp the message to live and hope on after Fuyuhiko’s death. She merely continued to cry and cry, clinging to Hajime. She was not finding hope, but rather she looked entirely lost.  
  
She should have been able to grasp that even if she lost Fuyuhiko as her hope, she could always find a new stronger one. That was what his ideal of the utlimate would have done, not cry in front of him like a little girl and cling to someone like Hajime who also did not have a place to belong. Pekoyama really was taking advantage of Hajime’s kindness in a way. The way which Komaeda had already decided he was going to refuse from now on.

She was fortunate in a way even if she did not have Ultimate Luck. She had had somebody next to her her entire life, somebody who could always accept her no matter how far she sunk into the criminal underworld, somebody who lived an equally dangerous life as her and could survive. Even if she was bereft of them now, he had been around enough in Peko’s formative years that even somebody who self proclaimed as a tool understood what love was and that they desired it.  
  
Then, what of him? This emotion that he felt right now could not even be called despair. Disappointment was not despair. In despair inducing situations, things went out of control, it seemed everything went wrong at once and nothing went the way you wanted. In disappointing situations, your expectations were not met as well. They were similar yes, but too different, despair was a feeling that you could be filled up with at least disappointment was just emptiness.  
  
Despair and hope, mixing the two of them was a bittersweet taste. He was willing to put up with the bitterness for the sweetness, but as of this moment his mouth was dry and he tasted only bitterness. He had been so elated at the start of the trial too, this feeling it was like coming down from a high only to crash and feel worse than you did before. No, he wondered if despite his acting, his faces of embellished ecstasy, he had ever felt the high in the first place this time around? No, he just felt the crash.

He looked over at Peko, despite all of his feelings swirling around inside of him, sticky, uncomfortable, unpleasant, she was still his classmate after all. Not only that but he recognized the lonely tears she was shedding right now, what she feared most was being alone. That it was her fault she was alone because she was unable to protect her master. He wanted to say something to reassure her because he of all people knew those feelings. _You can still survive when you’re on your own. I’ve lived all this time with nobody at all by my side and I still found reasons to hope, so I’m sure you too whose much stronger than me and a much more worthy talent can do it._ _  
_

He wanted to say something just like that, but as he stared at Peko in silence, the only noise in the aftermath of the trial being her sobs filling the air he could not help himself. “What a pity… This outcome is so unfortunate. That’s why you should have discussed with me first, Pekoyama-san.” _No… that’s not what I wanted to say._ “ If we had cooperated then Enshima-san would not have been allowed to do as she pleased.” _Well I believe that but… now’s not the time to say it right? Just… Just say words of comfort please._

However, he could not get his mouth to cooperate. After all he had never been comforted before so how could he comfort others? He wanted to be soft, but he was too used to being thrown about and colliding with others by his luck. He had hardened and was composed only of hard edges now.  
  
In a way, he envied Hajime too. Unable to know anything about his past, untouched by what was around him, it was no wonder Hajime was capable of showing such softness that Peko clung to him.

Peko did not say anything in response to his words, she just clung to Hajime tighter wrinking his shirt. Hinata lifted his head up over hers, and glared at Komaeda with his one eye that was visible over the mess of Pekoyama’s hair. “You… how can you keep saying something like that…? Chiaki and Fuyuhiko are both dead. Don’t you feel even a bit sorry?”

 _I…_ _  
_ _I wanted to feel something for them.._ _  
_ _When I get close to others, I don’t know what to say._

“Of course I’m sad.” Komaeda titled his head, pulling his hair back as he wiped the sweat from his brow. It was hot and sticky like the feelings he kept getting stuck in. “I’m so wracked with grief that I’m about to despair, but despair is nothing but a stepping stone.” _Whenever I’m around you, I especially don’t know what to say._ “The larger the stone is, the brighter we will shine. It should be obvious.” He bit his own tongue after that to prevent himself from saying anything more. He doubted the others would notice, but he tried too in his own way. He was aware his words did not help anybody but himself.

 _I believe in you, Hinata._ _  
_ _I know you want to hear it desperately._ _  
_ _But how do I say it?_

Next to him, the smirking bear’s plush face contorted. His one red eye seemed to glare at Komaeda. “Hmmph. You dare call me a stepping stone? You say pretty interesting things, huh?”  
  
Komaeda looked to Hinata. He believed in the power of hope of course, but sometimes he wished that believing was just enough on his own. That his sentiment would reach Hinata somehow. That the other boy would be able to understand him.

“Treating Fuyuhiko and Chiaki like they’re just your stepping stones… you’re no better than Kumagawa. I think the only reason you’re so rude to him is because you just want someone to look down on so you can feel better about that part of yourself.” Hinata held onto Pekoyama tighter in that moment, almost protectively, in a way that made Komaeda’s heart skip a beat when he wondered if anybody would ever hold him protectively that way. “Don’t look at me like that, your gaze is so condescending.”

 _Condescending?_ _  
_ _No I…  
_ _I look up to you more than anything else._  
_I want to keep watching you even if we can’t be together anymore._

He knew he was never going to be friends with Pekoyama and Fuyuhiko as much as he desired it. His method of watching them was a half measure, he could keep his distance, but he was not irrelevant to them entirely. He thought it was wrong for him to want for more, to move closer to grasp for that warmth when he was not wanted. Now, he was being told off for keeping his distance, for choosing to remain cold. He truly did not know what to think anymore.  
  
When Komaeda was unable to even respond to Hinata’s accusation, the bear spoke up for him. “Upupupu... I think your analysis is off Hinata. Maybe if you had a reading level above elementary school you’d be able to understand foiling properly. There’s no way Komaeda can be like that River Bear, because that guy is full of despair and somebody who worships despair can’t be anything like somebody who worships hope. Komaeda reminds me most of “that person” especially because of that twisted sense of hope.”

Komaeda let go of his hair, letting his wild white bangs fall over his face again. When his eyes were concealed by shadows, when nobody else would be able to see the confusion he was feeling right now that was the only time he felt comfortable talking again. “I don’t know what you’re talking about…”  
  
Unexpectedly, it was Ikusaba Mukuro who spoke up. Despite having a wonderful talent of her own, Komaeda never saw her as anything separate from her sister Enoshima Junko. It was only natural, Enoshima shined so brightly she obscured everyone around her who was a lesser light. He found it a bit strange that somebody like Kumagawa cared for her as a person separate to Enoshima, considering Kumagawa obsessed over Enoshima like everybody else seemed to. At least that was how Komaeda saw it.  
  
“I think he’s talking about Makoto, Komaeda.”  
  
“Hmm, Naegi-kun from the 78th class?” Komaeda tried to picture the other boy who spoke of hope, but all he saw in his mind was somebody faceless. The back of Naegi’s spiky haired head. He was a boy standing in front of an impossibly bright light, it obscured him entirely.  
  
Komaeda could not understand that person. He could not understand how to live that way, with luck that was small and incidental, that made you into a hero thrust into extraordinary circumstances. He was not like that person at all. The comparison irked him.

Mukruo spoke up again with her usual brutal honesty. “Makoto is always talking about hope too, even in situations where it makes no sense to find hope. When he says it though it’s something people band behind, but when you speak of hope you sound like a crazy person and because of that you get isolated from the group. Even though really you’re both saying the same kinds of things… at least I think that’s what it is.”  
  
Komaeda bit his inner lip hard enough that he started to taste his own blood. _What a terrible thing to say really, as expected of a despair sister._ He was biting to prevent himself from saying anymore more on the topic, he knew Monokuma brought it up just to hurt him. He would not let it show. “Anyway, I’ll just say this…” Komaeda said raising a finger and pointing it at Monokuma. “The hope of these super highschool level students will definitely crush you.”  
  
Yes, even if there was no hope inside of himself he could always rely on the others around him to be his hope. One of his eyes met Monokuma’s red looking evil eye, and he noticed both of their eyes seemed to swirl in the same mad way, it was like staring into a rippling pool of water only to see the image turn out to be nothing more than his own reflection. “Be prepared to be destroyed without leaving any trace behind…” Komaeda said to the bear with eyes like his, “that is your fate.”  
  
Despite the boldness of that declaration, as everybody crowded around Pekoyama out of concern for her, Komaeda was left alone, arms wrapped around him as he could only cltuch himself.

 

♛

 

Peko was so strong, Hinata always thought so.  
  
That was why he liked to hang out with her, of all the other people he admired her strength. She was always standing alone, fierce, composed, defiant. However, what he saw of her now made him doubt that impression. No, he might have never once understood her even when he thought he did.  
  
He thought at one point, she would insist on standing on her own two feet. She would try to smile for him like the old Peko did. Yet, the entire walk back home, he had to carry her on his back. Hinata remembered this is the same way he had carried Chiaki home the last time they were together. That feeling only hollowed him out some more though, so he ignored it.

When he got to her door he stopped just before the threshold. Unaware if it was alright for him to cross into the forbidden territory of a girl’s room or not he hesitated. He stared at the line the doorway formed, and then felt the awkward tension rise between him and Pekoyama.  
  
Finally, Pekoyama stirred on his back. Her face had been buried deep within the wrinkles of his shirt and she finally rose it. “I’m sorry… Hinata…” She apologized for asking just a little more of him.  
  
“No, it’s fine. I wasn’t able to do anything for you after all.” He said as he stepped across the threshold and then brought her into her room. That was how he knew Pekoyama was still a kind person, because she did not play the blame game and blame Hinata for convicting and executing her precious person. Even though, Hinata was already starting to play the blame game himself, as he wanted to take credit for everything.  
  
As he lay her down on her bed, that was all he could muster the courage in himself to do. He saw her glasses, fogged up with tears fall off her face, and moved to pick them up. “Umm… are you sure you want to fall asleep like that?”  He asked awkwardly.  
  
When Pekoyama gave him no response his awkwardness only increased. He was sure, pretty much anybody would be better suited for this than him at this moment, but he was the only ne here.  
  
“Umm… Hinata-kun?”  
  
When a voice spoke up behind him, he nearly collapsed in relief from how tight he was holding his body with tension. He turned around to see Ikusaba Mukuro. Of course she was here, she was Peko’s roommate. “D-do you think you can help her get ready for bed and watch over her? I-I’m not too good at that stuff, you know taking care of others.”  
  
“I don’t know you seem to be alright with it, Komaeda always seems happy when he’s around you. Maybe you’re just only good at taking care of guys.”  
  
“What’s that supposed to mean?”  
  
“I don’t know, it was only an observation.” She said with a neutral face. Hinata occasionally saw a shred of humanity on Mukuro’s face, but most of the time he had no idea how to read her so he had been mostly avoiding her.  
  
“I hope it’s not too much trouble, Peko being like this I mean…”  
  
“When we were much younger the time my sister and I still lived with our family, we shared a room and back then she basically relied on me for everything, so I don’t mind doing that kind of thing.”  As Hinata turned around to leave, she called out to him in a soft voice. “Is…Komaeda doing okay?”  
  
“How am I supposed to know?” Hinata rudely answered her question with a question.  
  
She did not seem to notice his rudeness though, she took the question for face value. “You two spent a lot of time together, that’s why I’m asking you. I think I might have said too much to him without thinking.”  
  
“Why? Are you worried about him?”  
  
“No, I don’t really care that much about him to be honest.” She answered almost immediately.  
  
“Whoa, you don’t hold much back do you…”

“It’s nothing Komaeda ever really did to me, it’s just parts of his personality remind me of the worst part of my sister. So, no matter how much time we spent together I could never really like him.”  
  
“That’s kind of… blunt.”  
  
“Sorry, it’s in my nature to speak as directly as possible when I have to speak. Pekoyama and I are both quiet but, I feel like the way she chooses her words is always much softer and more polite than myself.”  
  
“Did you two get close because you were sharing a room?”  
  
“Actually, I don’t care about her much either. I might… even hate her for raising a blade to my sister. It’s hard for me to care about people outside my class but… that’s a part of me I should probably work on…”  
  
“I see…” _She’s even honest with herself. I guess I can’t fault her for that._ “I’ll leave it to you then.” He did not know what to think about Ikusaba Mukuro, and that girl was so close to Enoshima Junko and Kumagawa Misogi that he did not know what to think of her. He was also mortified of staying in a girl’s room alone at night so it was better for him to leave it to her and left without thinking on it further. It was pretty easy for him to not think about things.

The next morning before even going to the breakfast hall he stopped by Pekoyama’s cabin. At the door, he hesitated before knocking wondering if he would only bother her, before deciding to fully commit. The moment he touched the door it opened. He saw the threshold again, and Peko lying on her bed at the other side of it.  
  
“Peko… we’re going to investigate the next island today.”

“...”  
  
“I thought we could go together, if you’re still not up for walking around on your own.”

“...”  
  
“We might find something that can help everybody else solve the mystery of this place.”

“...”  
  
“There might be something fun there too…”

“...”  
  
He hoped he could find something to show her that would make her smile, but he figured the only thing that could make her smile right now had gone to some far away place that neither of them could reach. He stared at the threshold once more considering crossing it, before giving up.

“I’ll see you later, Peko. Sorry to bother you.”

He decided to leave her there and join everybody else at breakfast. However when he got there there was only one other person who had made it to breakfast as early as he did.  
  
“Hinata, you’re already here? Have the demons possessing your body made your sleep restless as well?” Gundham said, turning around suddenly.  
  
“Huh? You’re the only one here… What are you acting so anxious about?” Hinata did not quite get Gundham. The rest of the children here seemed to be that strange naturally, but Gundham acted strange on purpose. Hinata desired to stand out too, but he didn’t want it to be the result of something fake like an act he put on.  
  
“I’m not acting at all anxious. This is just my natural loner personality showing. I need to be the brooding badboy, because of my dark past which I will frequently angst about…”  
  
“Yeah… Okay…You go do that and tell me if you have fun.” Hinata decided to leave Gundham alone and think of this situation on his own instead.

 _I still can’t see the real ending that we really want yet…_ _  
_ _When that finally arrives…_ _  
_ _What will have happened to us by then?_ _  
_ _No matter where I look_ _  
_ _No matter what possibilities I look for…_ _  
_ _I can’t see our future, not even a speck._ _  
_ _As if we were in a boat, floating unreliably in a vast dark sea._ _  
_ _We were left there all alone._ _  
_ _Only one word could explain our situation._ _  
_ **_Exciting._ **

Shocked by his own train of thought, Hinata looked up which is when he encountered the strange sight.

Standing there right in the middle of the restaurant, there was a large and imposing looking dragon statue, surrounded by what looked to be skulls that were reptilian in origin. It gave off a dreadful, unsettling vibe. Hinata was too stunned for words.  
  
Suddenly, Gundham appeared behind his shoulder, crossing his arms and looking over. “Wow, what is this? It appears a dragon came to us in the night and left his shedding skin in the form of stone in this mortal world while he ascended to the next one, in the honor of our fallen comrades.”  
  
“Did you do this, Tanaka?”  
  
“No, a dragon did it.”  
  
“You call yourself an ice dragon all the time.”  
  
“I go by many names, some are not even pronounceable with your mortal tongue.”  
  
Hinata was quickly learning his lesson on not arguing with a chuuni. “I kind of get how this works as a memorial for Fuyuhiko, but what about Chiaki?”  
  
“Chiaki uh… liked dragon quest…” Gundham pulled his scarf over his face and started to blush.

 _Oh, so he does have a sense of embarrassment after all._ “Maybe you should take this down before the others see… They might get scared or-”

Just then, the others started to file into the breakfast hall one by one. Mikan was the first to walk in and at that moment Hinata felt a stab of worry that they were going to misunderstand Gundham’s intentions. “Woah! What a gruesome sight! Negativity is just radiating off of it!” Mikan said walking up to the statue.  
  
Hinata had forgotten for a moment that Mikan despite being a nervous wreck most of the time, was a bit hooked on Kumagawa’s negative things are actually positive philosophy that he ascribed to those with a ‘minus type personality’.  
  
When he saw somebody else approaching, Hinata started to worry once again. Especially when he saw the spiky haired head of Hitoyoshi Zenkichi, one of the more normal classmates, being supported by Medaka’s shoulder. “Huh? That kind of display it….”

“...Tanaka don’t listen to him,” Hinata tried to warn his other companion ahead of time.  
  
“It’s devil cool! Who put this together man, they’re awesome!”

“You’re right Zenkichi, it’s a really thoughtful and touching monument. The dragon was a smart design choice as snakes are often seen as chthonic symbols connected with the earth, and cycles of death and rebirth.”

Just then Naze arrived as well and smiled underneath her bandages. “Whoa, that display terrifies me to the bone. I can’t stand looking at it at all. I want one on my desk for a paperweight when I’m studying late at night.”

 _You guys all have such bad taste..._ Hinata thought staring at all of them. When he saw Gundham smirk in delight that his gravestone offering to both Chiaki and Fuyuhiko had gone over well, he felt a little bit better about today. Hinata made sure to make eye contact with Gundham who was always avoiding the gazes of others and smile at him, to let him know his efforts were appreciated. “Guys, Gundham is the one who put up the memorial for our departed friends so you should all thank him.”  
  
He said, trying to be considerate.  
  
However, Gundham’s only response was to hiss back at him. “You speak my name, whelp! Even when you are unworthy! Don’t reveal my deeds to the common folk, I could care less about acceptance amongst the normies.”

 _Well even if they have terrible taste. Perhaps we’re finally starting to get along._ Hinata merely smiled back again at Gundham’s strange ramblings.

“...Wow, this is a very hopeless object. It doesn’t belong in a hopeful place like this at all.. It’s absolutely brimming with malice. Let’s just hurry up and destroy it. I can’t stand to look at it for even one more second,” Komaeda said as he entered the room, a gloomy aura clinging to him.  
  
“Stand aside! If you speak ill once more of my idol then I shall shatter you to pieces by speaking the forbidden words granted to me by my clan.” Tanaka said, suddenly allowing his scarf to dramatically billow in the wind behind him as he gripped his bandaged hand glaring at Komaeda.  
  
Hinata stepped in between the fight that was about to break out to diffuse it. _Nevermind, it might take a little more time than that._

 

♛

 

“So, this is the third island… The ambience is completely different compared to the previous island.” The residences and ruins were all left in shambles. As Hinata stood in front of it, it barely felt like a resort to him. There was no sign of people or life on the island either. It looked like the eletrical ruins someone might find in a post apocalyptic movie, or some kind of cyberpunk setting.  
  
Now that he was on his own it felt a bit dangerous. As he took his first step, HInata noticed how odd it felt. The last two times he had explored an island Komaeda was with him, and the previous time Chiaki was there too. Chiaki was dead now, and Hinata had pushed Komaeda away after losing her. He had hoped Peko might be able to make the trip today with him, but he could understand why she did not want to even leave her cabin.  
  
It was a bit regrettable, but he would just have to be more careful now that he was on his own. He took a few steps and then immediately noticed a noise behind him. Hinata whipped his head back to see Gundham standing near him. “Oh, did you want to go explore the island together?” Hinata offered in a friendly voice.  
  
“Feh! No mortal could stand to be in my presence for that long, my massive power levels would crush you like doubling the effect of gravity! Aware of my true nature, I have long since forgone the need for any companionship. Instead, my friends are the night, the stars and moon my constant allies, and of course the four dark devas of destruction.”  
  
“Well, alright then…” Hinata said offering a smile. “If you want to hang out to me today you can just ask, nobody else really wants to anymore…” He looked to the side with regret.  
  
In response, Gundham merely pulled his scarf back over his mouth again and slunk back into the shadows.

Hinata noticed when he started to walk forward again that he could hear the sound of somebody scurrying behind him in the distance at all times. “Do I have a stalker now? Hmm… Should I be afraid or flattered…” He wondered aloud as he started to walk around the perimeter of the island.  
  
The first building that looked distinct from the ruins in the background was an old electronics store called Electronics Avenue, that was overflowing with broken down machines. Hinata considered visiting there for a moment, before noticing Kirigiri Kyoko was already there. _She’s the Ultimate Detective so… if I go there I probably won’t be able to contribute anything._

He decided to  leave the store for later and head back on the road. Before he could turn around and take his first step Monokuma suddenly appeared in front of him. “Hey, where do you think you’re going?”

“I don’t really like computers so…”  
  
“Hey, what have you got against computers? Do you think you’re so much better than them?”

“No I… just don’t really know a lot about how to use them. So I wouldn’t be any help.”  
  
“You should go there anyway! Isn’t that what you’re all about? Being desperate to be helpful to others?”  
  
“No, I decided lately I’m more about staying in my own lane.” Hinata said as he tried to side step the bear, only for the bear to jump in front of him.  
  
“You might find more information about the Future Foundation there…”  
  
“Who are they?”  
  
“You mean you didn’t go to the ruins and hear about them?”  
  
“No, was I supposed to do that?”  
  
“Ugh, you’re so irrelevant to the plot I’m trying to build! You are the worst main character ever! Why do I even put up with you time and time again?” The bear snapped at him suddenly, throwing a tantrum in front of him.  
  
“I think I’m definitely the one putting up with you in this situation.”  
  
“What if I told you… there’s important information hidden there, about the biggest, most awful, most tragic event in human history and the reserve course of Hope’s Peak Academy?”  
  
“I’d say… Uh… What does that have to do with anything?”

“Hmm… How normal...It’s not normal like a dog barking. It’s such a normal reaction that it’s actually quite novel. Hey, can’t you react with more gusto!? Don’t you know how very, very important this scene is!?”  
  
“How am I supposed to react, I have no idea what you’re talking about!” Hinata snapped at him, finally getting exasperated again, his eyebrows knitted in the classical Hinata expaseriation expression. “What does the reserve course have to do with me? The tragedy was Junko's doing not mine, it has nothing to do with me. Why should I care about something that never happened anyway?"

“That’s weird of all the people you should definitely be the one who knows about it. I guess you forgot about it, along with the memories of your school life. So it can’t be helped.”  
  
“That doesn’t make any sense!” Hinata snapped at him again.  
  
“Movies with no images, music with no sound, novels with no words...Those are the things that don’t make sense! You can’t say something as simple as this doesn’t make sense! I wouldn’t know an important story like that! Cuz the only thing I’m good for is being cute!”

Before Hinata could get any more out of him, the bear suddenly disappeared. Hinata looked around a corner to where Gundham was hiding watching him from afar, and called out to him. “Hey, Gundham as long as you’re following me, do you think next time you see him you can try using some of your animal breeding skills to calm that bear down so he’s more cooperative?”  
  
“While that bear is indeed quite cute, I would even say quite fuzzy and wuzzy, those the the technical terms known only to the most elite of breeders, even an expert on the darkness like me can’t understand what dark thoughts swirl in that bear’s mind…”  
  
“You know usually what you say sounds like total nonsense but I think you might be onto something for once.”  
  
“Also, I’m not following you.”  
  
“Sure.”  
  
“I just happen to be tracking a mythical beast unseen by the eyes of the common folk who is heading in the same direction as you.”  
  
“Sure, sure…”

 

♛

 

The next place Hinata arrived at was a movie theatre. THe place had an eighties and neon sort of design aesthetic to it, and when he walked inside the place was so empty it looked like it had been abandoned for about two decades.  
  
On the shelf where tickets were being sold, Hinata could see a cashier, an old brown tote bag, and a sticker. Then suddenly, a black and white bear reappeared in his sights forcing him to take a step back.

“Welllllcome! We’re currently showing right now, so please wait five minutes for the next showing to start!”

“Showing? What does that mean?” Hinata said, fulfilling his sacred duty as the chosen one to ask the most obvious question possible in any situation.  
  
“Are your eyes just for show? Look around, this is a movie theatre, right? Then I’m obviously showing a movie!”  
  
“Showing a movie?”

“Yes, I love it when you repeat the last thing I said back to me in the form of a question, riveting dialogue right there. There’s a reason I chose you to be my main character.”  
  
“There’s that main character stuff again…” Hinata reached up and nervously scratched at his cheek with his finger. “You’re just gonna say this is the next motive, right? Just like Dangan Ronpa. I’m definitely not going to watch your movie! Whatever it is, I’m never going to see it.”  
  
“You don’t learn your lesson either. Avoiding the problem worked so well for you last time around. Well, I guess never learning anything is a good quality for the main character of a tragedy to have. Upupupu!” He grabbed his stomach and did a belly laugh, laughing so hard he gnashed his teeth at the same time. “My goodness and I even made you an invitation ticket, but I won’t allow you to not watch it! I went to a lot of trouble to make this movie! If you don’t watch it I’m going to be sad.”  
  
“I thought you liked despair.”  
  
“Sadness and despair aren’t necessarily the same thing, sadness is more bitter.”  
  
“I’m sure your movie is no different than that game you made.”

“That game was a shoddy piece of crap in an overrated series. This movie is a masterpiece. Anyway, as long as I refuse to allow it, you will never have the choice to not watch it! I am Monokuma! On this island my word is law!”  
  
“If I don’t watch it… what’re you gonna do about it?”

“There’s no way I’d allow such reckless behavior… There’s no way I’d allow it.. But… I’ll forgive you if you purchase a Monokuma Sticker at the goods counter over there.”

“Monokuma sticker?” Hinata repeated back in surprise.  
  
Monokuma shed a single tear from his red evil eye. “That’s so beautiful…Please never change Hinata, I don’t know what I’d do with myself if got even a single clue.”

“Yeah I get it you think I’m dumb you don’t have to rub it in…” Hinata said, not even aware that even the narrator of his own story also thought he was dumb and took every opportunity she could to rub it in. The audience was probably laughing at him as well, man it must suck to be him. Then again it probably sucks to be anybody who’s not me, your lovely narrator. He walked to the shelf and saw the tote bag but completely avoided interacting with it because it was just a red herring and was not going to be used in the murder this time around.  
  
He walked over to the sticker and read it aloud. “I’m sorry, I was born stupid…”

 _It’s not funny… and I don’t understand it’s purpose…_ _  
_ _How half assed is this…!?_

Hinata thought, unable to grasp the fact that Monokuma was just making fun of him. His stupidity, long thought of as a character flaw, might have in that moment been a strength in a way that protected him.  
  
“To tell you the truth, this is a very lucky sticker I received from a wandering, miracle-working priest! And it could be yours for the special price of 1.5 million dollars!”  
  
“1.5 million dollars? Don’t mess with me! I don’t even have that kind of money!”  
  
“Then you can pay me back when you get off this island. If you don’t like it, you could always just watch my…”

“..Fine I’ll pay it.”  
  
“Whoa, I’m surprised!”  
  
“As long as I can pay it after I get out of here…. I’ll pay anything! Even 1.5 million dollars. The idea that I can get off this island it gives me hope!”  
  
“What? You weren’t supposed to get hope from that! You were supposed to fall into despair! I was just messing with you! Damnit Hinata, you’re too stupid to even despair properly!” The bear said as he threw another tantrum, picking the sticker up and slamming it on Hinata’s forehead.

 _This sticker I received was even thinner and more cheap-looking than I thought it would be…_ _  
_ _It’s like a prize from a box of candy…_ _  
_ _Did I really agree to pay so much money for this piece of crap…?_ _  
_ _I thought certain people on this island were mad but…_ _  
_ _Perhaps we’re all mad here._ _  
  
_

Hinata thought, getting pretty pretentious over a scene where he just had a sticker put on his forehead.

 

♛

 

Komaeda stared at the screen with a blank expression.

The movie was an animated one technically, but each of the individual scenes had been drawn in crayon and the only way to display this animation was a recording of somebody holding up several pieces of paper, and one my one going through them like they were showing off their kindergarten drawings.

The soundtrack was not music at all, but rather an audio only recording of an old spanish soap opera. Koameda could not even try to listen to the soap opera though because the audio quality was so poor that it sounded like it had been recorded three rooms away.  
  
The film had subtitles for the poor audio, but they were so large they took up half the screen. The one of the subtitles was totally informal too, like one of those old anime subtitling groups from the mid 2000s.  
  
Deep, deep in the background, Komaeda thought he could hear the faintest sound of Monokuma yodeling.  
  
Eventually, the film cut away from the animated segments to real live action ones. However, the live action segments was just footage taken around the island, of various students doing nothing. Eventually, it cut to live film of Komaeda sitting in the theatre.  
  
“Get it, it’s an evangelion reference? Like in end of Eva? Get it?”  
  
Monokuma’s voice asked over the audio track, and then everything cut to black.  
  
Komaeda closed the door forcefully behind him, his face hidden by shadow.  
  
“Komaeda!” Hinata called out turning to face him. Technically, the two of them had not been alone together once since there last conversation.  
  
“Ah, it seems the screening has ended. Komaeda! Can I have my questionnaire back, please?”  
  
Komaeda let out the breath he had been holding. Hinata had been watching his face anxiously, wondering what was wrong. Komaeda, stared at his own hand as he spoke. “Is there anything to question about? The last few minutes felt like weeks. The content was so boring that it was almost a torture. It wasn’t anything like a motive… It was disappointing on so many levels.”  
  
Monokuma started to sweat, poking at his furry and round cheek. “How to say it… If it does not challenge common sense, it can’t be called art!”  
  
Komaeda crossed his arms. “Aaah, if I could’ve paid money to avoid this experience I would’ve glady done so.”  
  
“Komaeda… Just asking but, if you could avoid seeing it by paying 1.5 million what would you do?”  
  
“Of course I’d be willing to pay!”

Hinata smiled in a cute way, regretting his decision less and less. “I-is that so?” He reached up and touched the sticker on his forehead with pride.  
  
“By the way, Hinata-kun. Is your exploration of the new island going well?” Komaeda asked, his voice as friendly as ever.

 _Huh?_ _  
_ _What’s up with this?_ _  
_ _Yesterday we said such horrible things to each other, and now you’re smiling at me like it’s nothing._ _  
_ _Does it really not bother you?_ _  
_ _  
_ Hinata looked down at his feet, his fingers tensing up and curling. “I still haven’t found any clue to get away from this place… All that’s happened so far was Monokuma yelling at me a whole bunch.”  
  
“Hinata-kun you must not give up. No matter what kind of despair is in front of us, we must keep moving forward. Because of this is the attitude ‘Hope’ should have!” Komaeda said as he held a hand out towards Hinata.  
  
Hinata merely looked at his extended hand like it was some foreign object. “How is that Hope? You’re not planning something against us right?” _Komaeda, why are you smiling at me? You should be hurt from all the terrible things I said to you? Are you just hiding how you really feel._ “I just.. I just know that the only thing I can do now is my best. I’m worried though, because Peko still hasn’t left her cabin yet.”  
  
“Don’t worry, Peko will surely come back. Because she defeated the despair called ‘Fuyuhiko’s death’ and turned it into nourishment for hope…” Komaeda said, lowering his eyes and trying to meet Hinata’s.  
  
“You bastard stop saying those things! She’s really sad okay, she can’t just get over it!”

Komaeda hesitated for a moment, realizing Hinata was yelling at him again. No progress had been made at all from yesterday when he got angry at the words he said to Peko. He decided to just keep pretending to be fine with Hinata’s hostility as always. It was the least eh could do for the sake of the ultimates he admired so much was endure their scorn, or so he told himself. “I see, then I’ll go checking the electric town now.”

As he turned away, a thought occurred to Komaeda again. Hinata thought he was being insensitive to Peko’s death, but… he was just trying to encourage her. Wasn’t the right thing to say in these situations to urge others not to give up? He knew that Fuyuhiko had also died specifically in the place of Peko because he wanted her to live. Why did pointing out those facts seem ot make Hinata so angry?  
  
He really did not understand, but he wondered for a moment if what Mukuro said was true. If that person Naegi Makoto had urged Hinata not to give up, had told Pekoyama to keep living on in the place of Fuyuhiko, that they would thank Naegi for telling them such encouraging and warm words.  
  
As he made his way to electric city, he saw Kirigiri bent over a black laptop. He appeared right behind her shoulder, getting far too close for what would be considered normal boundaries. “What’s wrong, Kirigiri?”  
  
However, Kirigiri barely reacted to his presence keeping a cool head as always. “Ah, Komaeda…” Staying calm, always being the rational one others could turn to, Komaeda thought she was a splendid hope meant to guide others.  
  
“I’ve found some computers which haven’t run out of battery yet. If we managed to connect to the internet we could call for help… But it seems we can’t…” Her fingers drummed the keys in frustration for a moment. “What a difficult mystery to solve.”  
  
“It makes sense. There’s no way we could connect so easily. Mysteries are called so because they’re hard to solve, if puzzles were easy they’d be no fun. I think, somebody told me that once.” He stared blankly forward, before turning around to look elsewhere. “It can’t be helped. Then I’ll take a look in the electronics store nearby…”  
  
He stopped for a moment and tilted his head. “Ikusaba-san is that you?”  
  
Mukuro jumped out from where she was hiding. Immediately her hand went in the air as he struck an offensive pose. “Should I knock him out?”  
  
“Ah! Ikusaba-san it’s fine! If somebody like him finds out we’re working together he probably won’t tell anyone…” Kirigiri said, jumping suddenly and grabbing Mukuro’s hand before she hurt anyone.  
  
“I see… so, in the trial you were willing to face the despair of everybody turning against you with a false accusation to keep Kirigiri’s secret. What a hopeful cooperation the two of you have but… what made you two cooperate?”  
  
He only had to think about it fo a second.  
The only person who could unite such distant personalities, Enoshima Junko’s terrorist watchdog, and a investigator of justice. That was, Naegi Makoto’s hope, that was what united the two of them.  
  
“Nevermind… You shouldn’t tell me. Mysteries are more fun because they are a secret after all.” He said a she walked forward and pressed a button on a black laptop. There he found a file. “Oh?”  
  
“Is something wrong?” Kirigiri asked, turning a keen eye towards him.  
  
“No… i’ve just found a weird file here. Usami X File… The writing is form… It looks like a sort of report… This…”

 _But no matter what we did we weren’t able to stop them from unconditionally destroying everything._ _  
_ _They weren’t destroying with no reason they were following a precise evil plan…_ _  
_ _That’s why it was utterly despair inducing._ _  
_ _The high school hope’s peak center of the world with a long history now announces,_ _  
_ _The villainous authors of this scenario were found, though only two of them remained alive_ _  
_ _Somehow miraculously after their attempted suicide._

“The rest is garbled. I can’t read any further… This must be… a joke right? The students of the preparatory school destroyed Hope’s Peak Academy? Lies… Even if it’s a prank, it’s not something one should joke about!”  
  
He remembered it so clearly.  
He remembered just as everything was about to go wrong Kumagawa came out of nowhere and stopped the tragedy before it could spread.  
He remembered so vividly being screwed to the wall slowly, Kumagawa missing his vital organs only by dumb luck.

“Hmmm? What’s real and what’s fake? That’s an important theme you guys have to think about it carefully.” Monokuma said, popping out of nowhere once again.  
  
“Monokuma. I know you’re lying to me. Kumagawa stopped all this from happening. There should be a limit to how bad a joke can be.”  
  
“Komaeda, you think this is all just something I made up to mess with you?”  
  
“There’s no way it could succeed. They were different from true SHSL level students, those preparatory school kids. Those are just people with no talent who couldn’t be accepted through normal ways, in other words they’re second class students right? Normal people with no talent… revolting against the embodiments of hope. No matter how you look at it it’s just a farce… Even if Kumagawa had not come to stop them somebody would.” Komaeda said, posing, both pointing and looking down on Monokuma as he made this declaration.  
  
“If you say so… If this report is all fake then, why was Naegi Makoto the one who wrote it?”  
  
“Huh…?”  
“Makoto?”  
  
Kirigiri and Mukuro turned their heads on him at the same time, however by that time Monokuma had already fled before they could give more answers.

 

 ♛

 

Enoshima Junko’s eyes fluttered open. The scene of her waking up was picturesque, like a sleeping beauty waking up from her eternal slumber. She looked around for a moment wondering where he went. The person whose mere presence would shatter this beautiful scenery. The loser prince that guarded her bedside, Kumagawa Misogi. When she found him her eyes centered on him and she stopped looking around so anxiously.

  
He had stayed up all night next to her bedside waiting for her, but by the time she actually woke up he was already asleep. “What a useless prince I have here…” She said, reaching out with the nails of her one remaining hand to brush the hair out of his face. She wanted to see his face more clearly because it would be more despair inducing that way, that was all. This feeling of her heart quickening in the quiet of the morning as she studied closely the details of his face, that was just the pulse pounding feeling of despair.  
  
She had let her fingers brush too close to him though, and suddenly Kumagawa’s eyes flickered awake. She thought to withdraw her hand, as she would rather Kumagawa not see any affection directed towards him. She liked him best when he thought he was unloved, and became so desperate he was willing to throw himself into tragedy after tragedy. Yes, that was the reason. It was not because these feelings of hers might be the smallest bit embarrassing. It was not an affront to her pride to know that after the greatest talents of a generation failed to stop her or capture her interest in any way, it was somehow this reserve course flunky whose fate was had become inextricably intertwined with hers. No, their fates were not just tied together, they were twisted. Both of them had become twisted up in one another, so much so they were impossible to disentangle.  
  
Kumagawa was just always by her side, she had started to expect it by now. Always trying to look cool in front of her, always trying so hard to defeat her, desperate for her to look his way. It was laughable.  
  
He reached forward and took her hand before she could withdraw it, and brushed his lips against her knuckles.  
  
Really, any attempt on his part to look cool in front of her or be affectionate was so laughable, that just the thought made her want to break out into maddening laughter. Instead, all she did was giggle girlishly at him, smiling as it bubbled up from her lips. “Misogi, what do you think you’re doing exactly?”

『Wooing you.』  
  
“How horrifying. It’s a good thing we’re in a hospital. In case I have a heart attack and die on the spot.”

『That’s okay, if your heart fails you can always have mine.』

“Misogi, what happened? Did you eat a book of bad pick up lines and now you’re vomiting them at me uncontrollably?”

『Hmm. Depends, is it working?』  
  
“No, not at all.”

『Darn, once again I’ve lost.』  
  
“Don’t you ever get tired of losing? It’s kind of boring you know, doing the same thing over and over again.”

『Well, if you want to try something different you could let me win for once.』

“Why would I do that?”

『It would make me happy.』

“Well then that’s extra special reason not to do that, because I like my MIsogi unhappy.” She reached forward to poke at his cheek then, and hesitated for a moment. She had said something without thinking. _I like my Misogi, unhappy._ It reminded her of what Misogi had said earlier. _I love your unhappiness._ Those words made her heart quicken in pace as she thought about them for a moment.  
  
There was no way, right? Kumagawa was just obsessed with her. He just wanted to defeat her the same way he did Ajimu, and Medaka. She was quite sure, she had been convinced for a long time that there was no way they felt the same thing.  
  
The second reason she hesitated was because she had noticed her hand. Her other hand, the one she thought she had lost, had been replaced with something. She had no idea what it was because every inch of that hand was covered in bandages but when she moved her fingers she heard a soft mecanical whirring.  
  
“Oh man, I’m a cyborg that’s so cool. Now we can go the full cyberpunk genre instead of just having some light science fiction elements that are more along the lines of science fantasy.”

『Wait for it.』  
  
“Nevermind, being a cyborg is lame. I’m bored of this already.”

『I told you you’d get bored.』

“I don’t need this hand… it would have been a bit more difficult playing the rest of the game with one hand so…” Junko gripped her wrist and tried to rip off the new attachment to replace her hand.

  
『Junko, stop!』Immediately, Kumagawa grabbed at her hand and tried to stop her. The two fof them wrestled with each other for a moment, before she finally pushed him aside.  
  
“Ugh! Misogi what is your deal? Don’t get handsy with me right now I’m not in the mood.”

『Don’t rip your hand off! Don’t hurt yourself anymore!』

“Huh?” She turned around, too focused on herself she had not notice. Kumagawa’s features had twisted up. The last time she saw him pull a face like this was all the way back when Zenkichi had been revived from the dead by Ajimu Najimi. That was due to his past trauma with her being pulled up. Or when Komaeda went to Zenkichi’s side and chose him over her, he had made a terribly hurt face them and slowly started to break down.

  
The only time Kumagawa showed such beautiful pain was when those he cared about looked like they were about to leave him. That was why Junko had allowed herself to get so close to witness this.

『Junko, why’d you taunt Peko-chan and Fuyu-chan into trying to kill you? Did you seriously wanna die?』  
  
“I dunno.”

『What kind of answer is that?』

“I dunno what kind of answer that is.”

『Junko… why is it always like this… why after all this time do you still wanna die? Why can’t I ever… ever…change your mind about that?』

Junko cracked a smile. “Oh, come on Misogi. There’s no way somebody as lame as you could convince the wonderful me it’s worth living anyway. Wanting to die since the day you first cried tears of despair as you were born doesn’t just go away over night.” _Huh? What am I doing?_ She reached out and touched his cheek again, this time not to poke or prod him to see his reaction but to caress the side of his cheek and gently stroke it. “How can I not want to die, when every time I hurt myself you make such a wonderful face and fawn all over me.”

『So you basically hurt yourself that round for the attention?』  
  
“Wha… no. That’s not it!” Junko suddenly snapped at him.

『You deliberately hurt yourself, and set up a situation specifically so you would be able to see my reaction from it. That is literally the definition of doing that thing I just said.』

 _That’s totally it, but I don’t want to admit he’s right,_ her expression said but she did not want to say it so she just glared at him.

『Oh, you’re wearing your ‘he’s right but I don’t want to admit it because Kumagawa’s such a loser’ face.』

“Who said you were allowed to read my facial expressions?”

『Well, I think the same way. I find the way you react to things quite cute.』He leaned forward then, close to her face. 『Junko, if you were to die it’d be game over. I won’t ever… ever allow you to die.』He was so close she could see his eyes tremble with that statement. She loved seeing the misery in his eyes, eyes that had looked over every repeated tragedy of his life again and again, barely showing any reaction. Yet, those eyes reacted so much to her.

She wanted to keep staring into those eyes, but she noticed something in that moment. Those eyes were genuine. The real thing. In other words, he really was worried about her dying. No, that could not be right. He just did not want to lose his game. No, that could not be right, he just did not want to lose an object he possessed.  
  
The fact that those eyes might just be looking at her with that genuine sentiment, she did not know what to do with that fact. After all despair had no room for sentiment.

She reached forward to pinch at his cheeks, ruining the moment before it could evolve into something else. “Hey, Misogi if you’re going to make this fun for me then answer my question.”

『Hmmm… sure.』

“Did you really think I committed the murder last trial?”

『No. When I got to the scene of the crime, it was so obvious that you had done it. It looked so perfectly set up for you to be the murderer, that’s why I had to destroy that crime scene. I wanted to ruin your perfection.』  
  
“That’s a satisfactory enough answer. I give you square root of negative one points.”

『That’s not any points at all! It’s an imaginary number!』  
  
“That’s why it’s perfect for you. Then, if you knew I didn’t commit the murder why didn’t you just tell everybody when they accused you of knowingly covering up the murder and risking all their lives?”

『I thought it would be more fun for you that way, if I put on a performance.』  
  
"It still doesn't totes make sense. I can't believe you're such a broody mysterious guy I gotta ask you about things instead of just figuring everything out about you instantly."

『It's called talking Junko, it's what most people do.』  
  
"Well, I'm not a people obviously. I'm one step above them. And, you still haven't answered why you chose to move the body in such a specific way. Do you really hate Rando that much that you wanted to mess with him so personally? Or maybe you're more like me than you thought and it was Nanami-senpai and her simple and warm hope that you resented."

『Chiaki-chan is already dead. Once a person is gone their body is just rotten meat, I doubt Chiaki-chan cared that much, but if she did... I think she would have wanted Hajime-chan to become the hero that avenged her death and solved the mystery. If that would make her smile, then I don't care about playing the villain.』Kumagawa spoke with his usual flippancy, but his face suddenly became that of a  man drowning. Junko was always puzzled by this, in front of everybody else he played the part of the unsympathetic, always smiling, always lying villain but in front of her he never even bothered to hide his face. The face a boy makes, when two red clawed hands wrap around his neck and push him underwater, and all he can do is glance up through the water shifting above his head, refracting the light over and over, and presenting a distorted image of his beloved. Why, only her? Did he really think something so foolish that it would be okay to be hated by the rest of the world if he was loved by her or... was she the only one he saw, a world consisting of the two of them?   
  
No, such a foolish thought. Any world like that would quickly be drowned in sorrow, and not the enjoyable kind, thee was nothing despair inducing about slow suffocation under the surface it was the least explosive death possible. She thought she would so helpfully point out to him the flaw in his thinking, that not a single person would be grateful to him even if he did scapegoat himself to provide a neat conclusion to Hajime's hero fantasies, and Nanami's tragic want to sacrifice herself for her friends and the greater good. “They’re all going to hate you, you know. Say goodbye to your happy school life with all your friends.”

『That’s fine. I really despise happiness. I can only know my own form within dirty mud.』  
  
“Well, if you’re going to sweet talk me like that… I might just get into the mood…” Enoshima Junko said as she suddenly jerked him down onto her bed.  _Hey MIsogi, is that your way of saying you can only recognize yourself when you're with me? Do you see yourself in me? It'd be great if we could overlap so perfectly, that we disappeared entirely. That's a despair inducing way to cease existing in this boring life._  Bored of seeing such a pathetic expression on his face, she grabbed him by the arm, suddenly, forcefully, and pulled him on top of her again. That was enough to get him to show her a new face, and while he looked down at her and the two of them were alone in this room it was a face that belonged solely to her. His frame was suddenly over her, awkward, staring down at her. Even if they had done this before, he made the same confused puppy expression every time. He was so clueless it was almost endearing. It almost wanted to make her sink further. To lay in the coffin he made for himself, and so together the two of them could plan a burial at sea. 

Suddenly, she was kissing him.  
As she kissed, she bit down hard on his lips.   
Hard enough that she could taste the tiniest droplet of blood. Just as he realized and was beginning to kiss back, that was when she drew away, wiping off her lips with her sleeve and smearing blood on the side of her cheek. 

『I thought you weren't in the mood.』  
  
"I change moods remarkably fast. It's kind of my thing."  
  
It was that cluelessness that allowed her to take control. Not that she needed it. He was hers after all. There was no need to take what already belonged to her. However, the frustrating thing about human bodies was that they were so far apart. Every single individual was sealed off from one another. The barriers between them were stronger than anything else. Even if he did belong to her, there were things in between them. Air, physical space, clothing, then flesh, then bone, that physically separated them. Her desire right now was to be close to him, not for any particular reason. Just a whim of hers. Seeing him sulk made her want to see that miserable face of his and take it for her own. Yet, even though they were supposed to be connected he was so far away; it's annoying. “These will get in the way."  
  
She declared all on her own and reached for him. She grabbed the collar of his black blazer, and started to pull apart each sides from the other. Slowly, methodically, less like a gesture of passion and more like she was executing some pre-planned plot. Every time she made a choice she could see the outcomes branching forward in almost every direction, even when she tried to be spontaneous it was all controlled like this. Controlled spontaneity. A real oxymoron. And now she was on top of a moron. What was the deal anyway? Was she attracted to morons, turned on by them somehow? Turned on. Yeah, that was it the best way to describe this feeling right now like a flip had been switched inside of her. Usually Junko was flipping the switches of others in order to see what they would look like at the exact moment of change. What could this strange boy be she was on top of, that provoked a reaction out of her, that made her feel something without her having to deliberately push for it. She was being pushed by him, and she pushed back now. Push, push, and pull, now his button popped.  Popped right off his jacket, and then the next, and both sides were separated. He had been staring at her, eyes blurred like murky waters, rippling, rippling because she had decided to plunge straight into them. He finally reacted, sitting up so his jacket could be slid off of him. She still sat comfortably perched on his lap. 

Her fingers went to his tie, the one he tied in a terrible knot most mornings because he had no idea how to tie it for himself unless she was there. The nails of her sole remaining flesh hand easily tucked under the knot and pried it apart, and she loosed the tie to two ends, pulling one of them away slowly from him. She watched the edge of the fabric pull around his neck, before she pulled it away entirely. It reminded her of a noose, and it was her fingers that could loosen or tighten it. Really, what was he doing having such a serene expression while he was hanging there, he had left his fate up for her to decide after all. She was a person who lacked a single ounce of mercy, she was nothing but cruel, but then again someone like her getting close to him, somebody with eyes that always looked like they were about to overflow with the watery despair he held back, that was probably the most cruel thing she could do. She tossed his tie to the side, it fluttered before falling to the ground. Then, she slid her thumb between one of the buttons of his button up shirt, smoothly undoing it.   
  
“Take this off.” She gave another order, but Kumagawa was not really listening to her. Probably an after effect of that sadness he was always drowning in. She wondered how he could get that sad for what had happened with Chiaki and Fuyuhiko to begin with, he barely knew either of them, and then again why show that side of himself to her. All she would do was enjoy that sadness like a voyeur. She would not sympathize with him, or comfort him, even now she just wanted to steal pleasure away from his body for herself. If he happened to enjoy it too, that was an unintended side effect. Still, what she really wanted, to be able to feel the way he did, as blatantly, as fully, to shake with such emotion, to always be overflowing with it. She knew that was impossible, even if Kumagawa was hers she could not take that from him because the barriers between bodies were too absolute. The best thing she could ever do, was curl up next to him, embrace him as she lied down next to him in the same coffin. He slowly reached for his buttons and began to fumble with them, but she lost patience and decided to do that herself as well. Deftly, even with one hand she was able to undo all of the buttons one after another. It was just like following instructions. First this happened, and then that. She had no idea why Kumagawa looked so flustered, why he looked at her with such deep affection in moments like this. Finished with the last button, she tugged at the end of the shirt and pulled up its ends free from where he tucked it in his waistband. That too, Kumagawa managed to slide out of on his own. She Saw his bare chest, scarred, ribs still showing, and ran a hand down his chest tickling his rib cage. Then, she realized with regret that the next part would require her getting up off his lap. She gave his chest a careless push forward, sending him back into the pillows that were piled on the bed as she got on her knees.   
  
She played with his belt for a moment, like she forgot how to do something as simple as unlooping a belt just to watch what face he would make in his impatience.

 “This too. It's bothersome.”

『Gosh, somebody sounds excited. I didn't know you liked it that much, or liked well anything really.』  
  
"I like playing with small things, you know like toys."

『A meanie! Junko is a meanie!』

Kumgawa played, calling out in a childish whine. To hide the real whine of anticipation that escaped his lips, as she made a metallic noise simply playing with the clasp of his belt flicking it back and forth, clang, clang, clang, but it was a hard game to play because she was just as impatient as he was, and she wanted to see him make all different kinds of faces. So, she undid his belt and pulled it away as easily as his tie. Then her red nails slipped past the waist band of his pants, feeling what warmth was waiting for her underneath. However, Junko was lazy, and as cold as she felt, alone in her coffin, with only beautiful flower petals thrown at her and plush to serve as her bedding she did not want to crawl into Kumagawa's coffin all on her own. She suddenly changed her mind again on a whim, and rolled on her back pulling him up again. Hands still tugging at his waist band, she commanded him and he obeyed. He got halfway to pulling off his pants, when she wrapped her legs around  him and with he feet tugged off his pants the rest of the way. She wanted to feel something now, right now.   
  
“Hey touch me there.”

Kumagawa reached forward, with no particular idea of where there was. He was sure Junko already envisioned the scenario perfectly in her head but he was going to deviate from it, as was his nature. He reached forward and slid his hand down the rounded part of her hips, and then to the edge of her skirt reaching under it. His other hand pushed hard against the bed to keep him steady after Junko had suddenly pulled him into this position above her. It was always like this, rolling back and forth because Junko almost never decided what she wanted right away. The moment his fingers started to play with her skirt though, she slapped his hand away.   
  
“No, not there yet Misogi do you ever listen?” She said, looking up at him with red eyes. Her contacts were not there, and she had yet to apply makeup after waking up. Perhaps she was showing some kind of face to him too. She herself put two hands on his chest pushing him back for a moment,a s she inspected every inch of his torso with her one remaining hand that could feel things. His chest rose and fall, his heart was beating so loudly she could feel it, drowning out her own barely beating heart just from contact alone. There were so many interesting ridges in his skin, and slowly but surely she traveled down until again she hit a limit the waistband of his white boxers. They were so tight on him at this point that they were barely concealing anything, and yet it was still. “Okay, this has to go too it’s in my way.”   
  
Kumagawa nodded his head and pried them off, shaking his hips to slip them down his legs the same as everything else and dislodging them with a shake of his feet. There was nothing between Junko and him now, or so he thought, until he noticed the familiar black and red school uniform she always wore was still hanging off her. He titled his head to the side, too caught up to the moment to realize something impornant until now. 

『When are you going to take something off?』  
  
“When you earn it.”

『What do I have to do?』

She laid back as if relaxing for a moment, forgetting about all the tension between them like every muscle in their body winding up screaming for one another just waiting to be released, and played it coy as she played with her lip with a red fingernail.  “Mmm… dunno. Make me laugh. You said we were going to have fun together, right?”

『Okay, I’ll make you laugh. I’m the king of fools after all.』  
  
At that moment, she wrapped her arms around him embracing him gently for the first time, rather than just to puppeteer him around to her whims. She could feel the heat of his chest, even through her clothing, and the way his body shook from want for her. Kumagawa Misogi was always in pain, even love seemed to be bittersweet agony for him. Yet, she embraced him, her body soft against every hard and jagged edge of his, her untouched one against his scarred a hundred times over. He finally gave up resistance, relaxing into his embrace which made her free to lean over, let her chin come to rest between the nook between his shoulder and neck which seemed perfectly fitted for her. She leaned even further towards his ear, and nibbled on it to toy with it for just a moment, before whispering to him an intimate secret just between the two of them. "The mastermind can see us.” Or not, apparently it was between the three of them, Junko, Kumagawa and the mastermind. 

『What?』Kumagawa said, suddenly rearing his head up so fast that he hit his it on a hanging lamp suspended from the ceiling and fell off the bed.  
  
At this, Enoshima Junko broke into peels of laughter. “Upupupupupu! You know if my original death game I was going to hijack the airways and broadcast it everywhere.” She looked down to Kumagawa who had scampered under the bed. “Come on Misogi, are you embarrassed? I thought you didn’t have a sense of embarrassment, you know since you continue to live such an ugly and stupid life shamelessly.”

『W...wait why do you want to do it if the mastermind can see us?』  
  
“I can totally tell the mastermind hates that we’re an item. You’d be surprised how much spite motivates me.”

『Are we an item?』  
  
“No.”  
  
『Junko I’m starting to think you really are an exhibitionist.』  
  
“Oi, you. Get out from under there already.”

『No, this is my new home. Nothing can hurt me down here. As long as I remain within my cage I can never be hurt.』

“Hmm…” Junko hummed softly as she sat up waiting for him again. She realized, without Misogi next to her it was rather cold. Without his words, the air seemed rather empty, and the quiet rather bothersome.“Do you remember Misogi, the last time I got stuck in a hospital like this?”

『Yeah...』  
  
“That was a lot of fun too. Nobody came to visit me, but you showed up. It’s just like right now, I’m sure if there was another character here there’d be a heartwarming scene of everybody waiting for me to recover in the hospital, but for me it’s just you.”

『I’m… sorry... 』

Kumagawa Misogi insisted that he was useless, that he had done nothing for her, that he could not persuade her from her own suicidal mindset. To her that still remained true. She could not imagine a despair greater, than the final despair of death. Yet, at the same time she still remembered the feeling of Kumagawa’s desperation as he promised that with him she would live the most miserable life possible. She knew that his life was like that, that his every moment was desperate, he was always coping, always trying to survive, that there was no sense of security and not status queue for him as every moment for him things always went wrong and off course and never in the intended direction. She was sure that would be a very interesting life to lead. She was unsure though, how close she could get to Kumagawa. If she wanted too, could she really get close enough to share in his life? Could she get close enough, to share pain, to share scars, could those things really become a connection to them to replace the connections that normal people who were not all twisted up by despair feel? She thought about it for a moment, in a girlish fantasy, what it would be like to live the miserable life by his side that Kumagawa promised her. To be shown that life is tragic by him. For the first time in a long time, Enoshima Junko considered the future, that she might die just yet, because there might be another tragedy waiting, that she could face it with him, that was her hope filled despair. When she spoke up again, her voice was very tentative, almost nervous... “Don’t be… Waking up to you see you next to me is… not so bad…”

Just then, the door suddenly flew open and Hinata was standing in the doorway. When he saw Junko on the bed, fully clothed, he sighed in relief. “I was afraid I was going to walk in on something again.”  
  
Junko lost her train of thought entirely forgetting whatever sentiment she was about to say. “Is there a reason you’re here rando? Did you come to finish me off?”

“As if… I don’t want anybody else to die even somebody annoying like you.”

Junko tilted her head in confusion for a moment and then pointed at his forehead. “What’s with that?”  
  
“Oh, you mean this sticker…” HInata scratched his cheek sheepishly. “I paid 1.5 million dollars to Monokuma to buy this sticker so I wouldn’t have to see this movie.”

Enoshima’s expression went entirely dry. “Yo, Misogi. For buying that sticker, Hinata-senpai is the new king of the fools.”

『No he’s not!』Kumagawa said, scrambling out from under the bed to stand in front of him.    『I’m the king!』

“Upu!” Junko giggled. “You’re right, you’re the king again.”  
  
Hinata looked down, and then jumped a full foot back. “Dude put some pants on!? Why are you naked?”

『Still the king!』Kumagawa said proudly, before he went looking for his pants.  
  
“Wait, I wanted to ask you guys. Did you hear about something call the biggest, most awful, most tragic event in human history?”

“You mean the biggest, most awful, most tragic event in human history?” Junko replied, smiling eagerly.

『Can you guys just call it the tragedy that’s way too much of a mouthful.』  
  
“It’s cool because the title is long, Misogi!” Junko snapped back at him.

『Basically, it was the destruction of Hope’s Peak that Junko planned but it never happend. I stopped it from happening. I don’t really see how something that never happened is relevant here?』  
  
“If you want to ask me about it you’re free to ask me anytime? But later, shoo shoo! I’m busy right now.”

“Busy doing what?” Hinata asked, obliviously.

『Me mainly. Here, I’ll walk you out.』Kumagawa said as he finally finished jumping in his pant leg.  
  
Outside the hospital room, Hinata stopped Kumagawa for a moment. “Wait, did you really lie at the trial about just trying to cover up Junko’s crime?”

『Ah… You overheard that? Yeah, something like that.』

“If you keep lying to everybody, they’re all going to hate you, you know…” Hinata said, feeling genuine concern for that boy in front of him he did not understand one bit.

『Well, that’s fine isn’t it? It’s a little hypocritical of you to be concerned for me.』  
  
“What do you mean?”

『Wanting to be loved by everyone, and wanting to be hated by everyone, isn’t that just the same thing?』  
  
“Tch… I knew it was worthless talking to a guy like you.”

『Hey, Hajime-chan. How come you keep trying again and again with Nagito-chan, but don’t want to give me a chance? What do you see as the difference between us.』  
  
“Komaeda is… somebody I can sympathize with. I feel like sometimes we feel the same way about things, even if I don’t understand him. With you, I can neither sympathize with nor understand you.”

『I see, total rejection, how very like you.』Kumagawa said, turning around and offering Hinata a smile before he left. That smile was as haunting as ever, even when he closed his eyes Hinata could still see it.

 

 ♛

  
In the hotel lobby Hajime Hinata sighed. He did not feel like he accomplished anything at all today. He even had worked up his courage to go visit Junko to try to get answers out of her, only to be made a fool of.

The ambience of the hospital lobby was like something out of a horror movie. His mood had already dropped and he did not want to stay here for long.

“Hajime!”  
  
Mikan said appearing behind him.

“Holy shit!”  
  
“Ah, I’m sorry I scared you…” Blushing she tapped a finger to the side of her face. “But don’t worry if you were to have a heart attack this is a hospital after all.”  
  
Next to her, Naze Youka looking through the hospital records looked up. “If you were to die of fright I’d make perfectly good use of your body.”  
  
“The moment I have a heart attack.. I’ll definitely have something I need to be worried about.”  
  
“This hospital is a little strange. It was creepy at first because there’s no doctors or nurses but… Now that Kumagawa and Junko are here it’s super loud. Junko keeps ordering me around it’s so much fun.”  
  
“I wouldn’t call that fun.”  
  
“Oh, but the medical supplies are all still left over. I’m not sure they’ll be useful unless we check them.” She suddenly straightened up, mood changing looking almost possessed. “Ahhhh! That means I need to go check them, right? U-understood I need to go do that in a flash please don’t hate me!”

“Wait!” Hinata said reaching out for her. “Hey, you’re always hanging around that Kumagawa guy right? Why do you like him so much, considering you seem terrified of everything?”  
  
“Huh? Do I look scared to you? What about me looks scared? N-no wait, please don’t tell me! I don’t want to know, it’s too scary to hear what you think of me!”

“Everything. Literally just. Everything you just said.”  
  
“O-oh.”  
  
“Seriosuly, what did that Kumagawa guy do to you?”

“Kumagawa-kun never did anything to me. In fact, I’ve done a lot to him. The first time we met I scooped his eyeballs out and played with them a lot.”

“Huh?”  
  
“Actually, Kumagawa-kun keeps telling me I shouldn’t hurt myself, even though I’d gladly do it for him, and when I’ve gotten hurt he pays careful attention to my wounds. I had someone who was very precious to me once, but since they’re gone Kumagawa-kun was nice enough to take their place.”  
  
“I see…” _I don’t understand at all._

“You’re disappointed because I didn’t go count the medical supplies right? I’m sorry! I shouldn’tve stopped to chat!” Mikan grabbed Naze Youka by the neck and ran to the other end of the dark hall, and disappeared together with her, making a huge fuss as she left.  
  
Hinata turned around and saw Gundham in his shadow once more. He felt a little bad for Gundham following him around all day, because he had achieved nothing at all.  
  
“Hmm… of all people, it seems I’ve immersed myself in nostaglia.” Gundham crossed his arms and looked down with a devilish smirk on his face. This place is similar to where the Tmark of defeating the devil was placed on my body long ago?”  
  
“Oh… Are you okay, man? Did you get hurt in the past or something?”  
  
“I have said too much.” He said as he pulled his scarf up over his mouth and looked to the side. “Forget what I said for your own sake.”

“You’re the one who volunteered that information in the first place!” Hinata snapped at him. He did not mind Gundham following him around, because the thought that he had been alone on the island all day and accomplished nothing on his own meaning he was no good on his own was too depressing to acknowledge. At the same time he did not understand what Gundham wanted at all.  
  
He took a step forward towards the other, only for Gundham to back off. “Whoa there. It’s better if you don’t get any closer than that. An automatic barrier will be generated independent of my will.”  
  
_Eh?_ Hinata thought, and his facial expression also said. _Eh?_ “It’s not like I’m getting close… or even planning on getting close.”  
  
“Which reminds me, there’s something I haven’t asked you yet. It doesn’t matter that your temporary name is HInata Hajime. Tell me your true name, fiend.”  
  
“What the heck is this ‘true name’ thing?”  
  
“Hmph, yso you’re not foolish enough to tell me so easily…” Gundham smirked as if looking impressed. He let his scarf fall from his face to show off his well practiced impressed smirk. “Then tell me your hidden name.”  
  
“I don’t have anything like that…”  
  
“Then what is your special ability?”  
  
Hinata looked to the side, starting to feel embarrassed. _Look, I can’t help it that I’m not cool you don’t have to rub it in._ “There’s no way I have one of those.” He was about to say that special abilities did not exist, but then he remembered people like Zenkichi, Medaka and Ajimu existed.  
  
“Hmph so you really are just a mere human. I suppose it can’t be helped… Then let me talk to you about something a mere human can understand. Ask me anything.”

 _Oh, he wants me to start a conversation. Why didn’t he just say._ Before Hinata could speak up though as he balled his fist under his chin to think of something to say, he was interrupted.  
  
Gundham quickly talked over even the running narration in Hinata’s head. “However, it’s free for you to ask,b ut make sure you try not to understand. After knowing my true terror, it’ll be quite a sight to see how long your sanity will last.”

 _Does he want to talk or not…?_ _  
_ _Did he follow me around all day because…_ _  
_ _He didn’t know how to talk to me?_ _  
_

“Um… What do you know with your free time usually.”  
  
“So you’re interested in my lifestyle? Fine then… I shall reveal a portion of that to you. Training, human hunting, raft spell components, etc… Despite my looks, I’m quite the busybody.”  
  
“Are you sure you’re not just a Neet?”

“I’m not a Neet! Don’t be mean Hinata Hajime, I’m technically still going to school so I wouldn’t qualify as a Neet even if I spend most of my free time alone at home. Managing my website takes up the bulk of my time.”  
  
“So, you spend most of your time on the internet. That explains it.”  
  
“Obviously, sorcerers around the wolrd are waiting to see my research results. Of course, my website has been magically enchanted so only the chosen ones can view it. A pure human like you will be able to access the dummy site called Exciting Breeding Journal.”  
  
“I’d rather check out the Ultimate Breeder’s Exciting Breeding Journal anyway.”  
  
“Hmm, sounds like something Komaeda would say.”  
  
“Why do people keep saying that?”  
  
“Then… I wll make sure to show it to you. Well, if we ever get out of here that is. Well? Are there any other questions?”  
  
“What’s your favorite food?” Hinata asked the first thing that came to mind.

He could not imagine that this was a very fun conversation for Gundham or he was an excellent conversationalist, but Gundham was trying his best to make it fun. Or, perhaps he was just trying too hard in general. “Hmm… You’ve certainly hit the mark well. I’m fond of the orange melon that bears the face of the devil.”  
  
“So a pumpkin?”  
  
“No, it’s the orange melon that bears the face of the devil!”  
  
“That’s such a mouthful.”  
  
“Well cool things have longer names that’s just how it works. There is no other food as high in nutrients nor as versatile to a variety of cooking methods… More importantly, its seeds are the most effective food source for my Four Dark Devas of Destruction. However, you must carefully wash them, dry them in sunlight, peel off the thin skin and lightly fry them.”  
  
“I seee… That sounds pretty difficult.”  
  
“Is there anything in this world that isn’t difficult? Hinata Hajime, that is why instead of running from Komaeda who is difficult, and Pekoyama who is in unbearable grief  you should face it head on. Pleasure and pain are irrelevant as you have a purpose, and take action for that sake.”

Hinata realized, in that moment that Gundham had been stalking him the entire day, and dragging him through this annoying conversation because he wanted to tell him that. Hinata’s eyes watered at Gundham’s encouragement. “You’re right… That’s exactly right. You’re a good guy after all, Tanaka.”  
  
“No I’m evil! I’m a dark hero, did you listen to literally anything I said?”

"You wanted to hang out with me, didn't you?"  
  
"No, I simply recognized a kindred spirit as a fellow loner!" 

After that, Hinata and Gundham started to get along better.


	17. The Shadow Always At Your Feet (Sleep x Chance X Dream)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nier Automata reference this chapter.

From the depths of his consciousness it slowly took form, hazy.  
Like watercolor paints suspended in water…  
Slowly, hazily.  
There was… a classroom from somewhere.  
A classroom that he’s seen before.  
But, he didn’t know where.  
There were people around him, but they did not have faces. They were just like the generic outlines of a human form you might see on a sign.  
He blocked out their images entirely. He was the only one here.  
He was all alone. This was his reality, yet.  
He can hear voices.  
Somebody’s talking.  
“Did you hear? Isn’t it amazing? Apparently he’s been accepted into hope’s peak academy.”  
“But, was he that exceptional?”  
Those are the noises.  
He dully stares out the window.  
Pretending not to listen.  
He doesn't want to listen.  
But even if he doesn’t want to listen, the “noises” leap into his hears.  
“Huh?” You don’t know.”  
“Don’t know what?”  
“Apparently you don’t have to be exceptional to get into hope’s peak academy.”  
“But… it’s an academy that recruits only exceptional students from around the world, right?”  
He wanted to cover his ears.  
He wanted to run.  
To the place he deserved to be.  
Not here.  
To the place… where he can be more confident.  
“Wow… I never knew that way was possible… So he’s the same too?”  
“Obviously.”  
“I mean, he doesn’t have any special talents that Hope’s Peak Academy would be interested in.”  
“He’s…”  
“ A normal guy that can be found anywhere.”  
“Well, admiring the academy is free, but it must be tough for parents who have to write the check.”

“...”  
“Leave me alone.”  
“I just…”  
“I just want to become someone who’s confident in myself.”

“What is this anyway?”  
“Who are they talking about?  
“Why can’t I remember?””  
“Who am I?”

**“You’re nobody.”**

One voice spoke in his ear, more powerful than all the others.

He stood up and rushed out of the room. He muttered to the red silhouette standing at the head of the class that he needed to go the bathroom.  
He ran down the hall, his shoes squeaking as he ran with all of his effort.  
The reason he ran so fast? He was afraid.  
The kind of running he did was like a teenager in a horror movie, getting chased by a slasher.  
What was he afraid of?  
Who was he afraid of?  
That probably had some deep answer, but for now he did not know, he could only feel fear.  
He finally turned a corner and made it into the bathroom.  
He had forgotten who he was, so he needed to look in the mirror.  
However, first there was an incredible nausea that had welled up within his stomach.  
_I feel sick. I feel sick. I feel sick._ _  
_ What was making him sick?  
_I’m sick of myself._ _  
_ He vomited into the sink before he could even look at himself.  
When he was finished, he ran the water.  
He would have to apologize for that later but first…  
He felt so sick sweat was dripping off of his face.  
When he looked up finally into the mirror, his eyes were sunken in with deep bags under them.  
He reached up and covered one eye, and placed his other hand on the mirror.  
No, that did not look right.  
This is not who he was.  
This face did not belong to the person he called himself.  
He pulled away the hand covering his eye, and saw he had smeared away some of his face.  
Like he was just wearing makeup.  
Underneath that makeup, was pitch black, a shadow, and a red eye.  
He looked down in the sink. He had vomited black ink earlier. Even when he ran the water, it refused to wash away.  
He reached up again and touched his face, and began to claw away at his skin.  
He revealed more and more of the inky black shadows underneath.  
As he tore away at his other eye, he saw two red eyes now.  
His entire face was black shadow now, and his hands dripped it like he had dipped them in ink.  
“Oh, I get it. I’m scared of myself.”  
He admitted finally, looking at his own red eyes reflected in the mirror.  
“Why am I so scared it’s because…”  
Suddenly, one of his hands grabbed at his own neck and started to pull tighter.  
**“Nothing.”** **  
** The ink slowly dripped from his body until he was completely covered, nothing more than a black shadow with red eyes. Even as he tried to strangle himself to stop it, he could not.  
The ink which dripped from his head, solidified into long black hair that touched the ground.  
**“I have nothing.”**

“Who are you?”  
**“I am nothing. After all, I am you.”**

Hinata suddenly awoke with a start. His first response was to walk all the way to the bathroom to check on himself in the mirror. Okay, he was still himself this time. No special effects nonsense. The boy staring back at him was one you could find anywhere, a boy with plain brown hair, albeit spiky with an antenna pointing in the middle.He was relieved to see himself, but at the same time.

 _Wow.. I really look plain._ _  
_ _Should I dye my hair or something? Would that make me stand out more?_

 _Gundham’s hair is kind of cool how it’s two colors like that._ _  
_ _Oh gosh I’ve been infected with the chuuni virus._

He wondered what the dream was about. As he could not come up with any hints of its meaning, he figured he must not be the Ultimate Dream Analyst. Another talent that was not his, but there were a lot of talents so it was only logical he could not have all of them. He would remember his one day he continued to reassure himself.

If Komaeda were here, he would have started listing off ridiculous talents again to ease his mind. He might have even ended up insulting. Knowing Komaeda, Hinata would probably get upset at first and then realize only later that the other was trying to help him in his own way. It was a bit challenging but, spending that time around him Hinata somehow forgot about himself as he was too busy worrying about Komaeda the entire time.

If Peko were here, she would give one of her cold but well thought out and logical assessments. She was the kind of person that could gauge his strengths and weaknesses in a second after all. Even if she could not figure out his talent either, he would listen to whatever she told him were his strengths and work on those. If he worked hard enough perhaps he could show Peko another reason to smile now that hers had disappeared.

He wanted to see both of those people, but he could not. He was all alone with himself, and he was starting to realize he did not like his own company that much. When he thought about others at least he did not have to think about himself. He especially did not have to think about that dream.

Himself? He was afraid of himself? How could he have such a stupid fear. Everybody else on this island, those amazing people all had been through experiences far worse than him. Peko was forced to kill since she was young. Komaeda lost his parents. Yet, he could not handle a small amount of insecurity? That was what was holding him back from being helpful to them. He really was weak.  
  
That was why he needed to keep these weaknesses to himself. In front of them he would be a different person, a stronger person. He did not know his talent, and that scared him but he could be anything right? He just needed to stop thinking about it. Stop fearing that it might be nothing at all.

There was nothing else that he could do, except to distract himself with the others. After all, if the person he feared the most was his own weak self, it was not like he could suddenly stop being himself. He would always be Hinata Hajime whether he wanted it or not.  
  
Hinata bent over sink in his bathroom, reaching up to feel his face. Tears were falling from his eyes and streaking down. “Crying? Over a pathetic dream like that?” He had not even been able to cry over Chiaki’s death.  
  
The only one he could cry for was himself it seemed. He collapsed forward over the sink feeling himself weaken further. “It’s so stupid… I’m sorry….I’m sorry I was born stupid.” He said in between sobs as his emotions released themselves all at once. He did not know what he felt, they were a kaleidoscope of things, like watercolor paints in a tumblr, mixing with one another further and further, becoming more confused and harder to separate until they all became one ugly color.  
  
That was the unpleasantness that filled Hajime Hinata, as he cried only for himself. Then, suddenly he forced himself to stop. He wiped the tears away from his face with his forearm almost forcefully, and stared straight into the mirror at himself, the same way he stared at the ocean when he thought about leaving this island and making it into the outside world again, imagining something far off into the distance.  
  
“These strange dreams… it might just be. A motive, yeah right! I can do it. I can help somebody. I’m just worried about the others. I’m going to go find somebody to help.” Hinata said, as he started to move towards the door and picked up his tie along the way wrapping it around his nek and tying it. Strangely, he remembered the sensation of choking himself from his dream. As he tightened the tie knot, he felt a bit like he was tightening a noose around his neck.

 

 ♛

 

The voice of her sister rang in Ikusaba Mukuro’s ears.  
“Kill the student council.”  
Ikusaba Mukuro tilted her head.  
“Why would I do that?”  
“If you don’t you’ll lose your important thing.”  
“Okay, Junko.”  
She raised her gun in the air and saw.  
The thirteen members of Hope’s Peak student council appeared as cardboard cutouts in front of her, like targets in a shooting range. Their faces were printed onto the cardboard, smiling faces, of children just living their everyday lives.  
“In accordance with my sister’s wishes, I shall now kill you.”  
She shot them one by one, only needing one shot to the head to finish them.  
Her bullets pierced through the cardboard, and the cutouts fell over on the ground dead.  
Mukuro thought she was done then, but her sister’s voice whispered in her ears again.  
“Kill the Madarai Brothers.”  
“Why would I do that?”  
“It’s because you killed the student council, they’re coming to kill your precious thing.”  
“Okay, Junko.”  
She raised her gun once more, as eight identical looking cardboard cutsouts appear. THey had long hair, long tongues, and snake like eyes. However, even though they had such creepy appearances they were just trying to avenge their friends, and later on their family members.  
The cardboard cutouts moved with superhuman synchronization, but she easily shot them each in the head again using only eight bullets.  
The cardboard cutouts fell over and back onto the ground.  
Mukuro thought she would be able to rest by then.  
Her sister’s voice whispered in her ear again.  
“Pick one, and save the other.”  
She saw cardboard cutouts of class 77-b and 78 rising up from the ground again.  
“Why do I have to choose?”  
“Do you really think you’re good enough to save anybody, let alone everybody?”  
“Of course not Junko.” She said in slightly quieter voice.  
She raised her gun up once more and shot them all in the head.  
When the cardboard cutouts fell over, those normal happy classmates eyes became full of black and white swirling despair just like her sister.  
However, even when she finished with the entirety of class 77-B her sister’s voice just spoke to her again.  
“Pick one, kill the rest.”  
“Why?”  
“Do you really think an idiot like you who only knows how to kill can save anybody? The least you can do is promise not to kill them.”  
“Yeah, that’s right. I promise that if I do decide to kill someone, it won’t be you Makoto.”  
She shot down each one of the cardboard cutouts of her classmates.  
Makoto’s cardboard cutout opened his arms towards her, and embraced her.  
No, that was wrong.  
The embrace was so warm but she did not deserve to feel that warmth.  
Suddenly, she was presented with four cardboard cutouts.  
Kirigiri Kyoko, Naegi Makoto, Kumagawa Misogi, and Enoshima Junko.  
“Pick three, and shoot one.”  
“Junko, why?”  
“If you don’t do it, you’ll lose your precious things.”  
“I’m sorry.”  
Mukuro raised up her gun and shot Kirigiri Kyoko right in the head, her cardboard cutout fell over again.  
“Now, shot two, pick one.”  
“Why?”  
“If you don’t you’ll lose your precious thing.”  
She raised her gun in the air, hands trembling.  
Two consecutive shots, Kumagawa MIsogi and Naegi Makoto fell backwards to the ground. This time however they were not cardboard cutouts, but rather bodies, with flesh and more importantly blood.  
Naegi Makoto died instantly, an expression of betrayal still on his face.  
Kumagawa Misogi told Mukuro it was not her fault, and it’s okay because he expected this betrayal and there was no way somebody like him could have become family with anyone.  
Her sister smiled at her.  
“Thanks for playing.”  
She raised a gun to her head, and pulled the trigger.  
Pink sprayed from the other side of Enoshima Junko’s head. Her body went limp, and collapsed forward, only caught by Ikusaba Mukuro. She stared in horror at the expression of pure delight on her dead sister’s face.  
“It’s so much fun, playing with my stupid older sister.”

  
Ikusaba Mukuro woke up, panting and sweating. She normally kept a demeanor that shut out all emotions, unless she happened to be by her sister or Kumagawa MIsogi so waking up to show so much at once alarmed her.  
  
Even if she regretted killing, she had never been disturbed by it before. She was the ultimate soldier after all, she could not earn that title without killing and keeping a cool head in combat. Unlike her sister who pushed whatever negative feelings she might have about the other she hurt to the point of ecstasy, Mukuro felt nothing at all about killing. The moment she was given a reason to, just like in the dream she could execute her actions without hesitation.  
  
That was why she felt so much regret now, because she could not feel any sadness over those killings. Even to this day she was still woefully incomplete as a human being. She sat up in her bed and looked across the shared cabin.

Pekoyama still tossed and turned in her sleep. Despite Mukuro promising to watch over her, she had been able to do absolutely nothing for the other so far. After all, what could somebody who was incomplete as a human like herself possibly teach somebody else about being human?  
  
A thought ran through her mind. If Makoto were here, he would know exactly what to say to pick Pekoyama up. If Makoto were here, Mukuro would not doubt herself and the ability to keep her promise not to kill anymore. She made that promise to Makoto after all, for his sake. She peeled off her own glove and looked at her hand with the Fenrir Tattoo emblazoned on the back of it.  
  
That hand felt so warm when Makoto held it. Even though it was a hand used to kill others. Now, she only felt the absence of his warmth.  
  
She wanted to see Makoto again. She questioned, every second he was gone, why he was gone. Yet, she wondered if her sister was right after all. If the only reason she wanted to see him so badly, to the point of feeling even more incomplete when he was not around was because she was merely clinging to him.  
  
If she had substituted Makoto for her original devotion to her sister, did that mean she truly cared about him?  
  
Could she truly care about anybody? Or did she simply want somebody to cling to? Somebody to care about? Then, it would not matter, Makoto, Kumagawa, Junko, she was just a dog in need of a master to hold the leash because she was not capable of anything on her own.

No. Junko was right about most things. Mukuro still thought that even if she had changed a little bit from the days when the only voice she heard in the whole world was her sister’s, but… No. Junko was wrong about that. She would show her.  
  
She walked over to Pekoyama’s bed and reached out, grabbing her by the shoulder to shake her in her sleep. As Mukuro did not really know how to be gentle she ended up shaking the girl a little too roughly.

  
  
  
 ♛

 

She was surrounded by enemies.  
The sea roared in the background.  
Waves striking the cliff face again and again.  
The unsteadiness of the waters, beat for beat, matched the unsteadiness of her heart.  
She drew up her sword.  
The enemies that all surrounded her wore heavy armor.  
Their helmets covered their faces.  
All she could see was glowing red eyes, one of them disfigured.  
They all carried the banner of hope’s peak academy with them.  
Swords raised in the air, all about to fall on her.  
She tried to raise her own sword, but she could not.  
Only when the strings attached to her picked her arm up, could she move her sword.  
After all a sword was not supposed to have its own free will.  
A tool could not think for itself.  
A sword could not have feelings.  
They could not touch others.  
They could only slice forward.  
They could only cut what was in front of them.  
It was logical then, whatever they reached out to they would cut.  
All around her she started to slice away at the enemy army.  
Justone swing was all she needed to slice their top halves from their bottom halves.  
Her eyes glowed red like a demon.  
She was no different from the marionettes that she was fighting against.  
This entire war was simply a puppet show put on for a clown in the audience.  
Still, she continued to slice.  
Slice, slice, slice, slice, slice.  
That was all she was capable of.  
That was all she knew.  
She sensed an enemy behind her, and without thinking she took control of herself this time.  
She sliced forward at the enemy in her blindspot.  
The moment she completed her swing, she turned her head and saw.  
Blood was coming out of the marionette.  
She had sliced away at her beloved young master.  
He started to fall away from her.  
“Peko, this is all your fault.”  
“No, I didn’t. It’s the strings!”  
“What strings?”  
She looked up and saw that there were no strings attached to her at all.  
She was flesh and blood.  
Call an apple an orange, but that did not make it so.  
She had done this of her own free will.  
She was the one who made herself into a puppet.  
“This is your protection…”  
Her master said, as he disappeared from her view dissolving into pixels. The world too started to dissolve around her.  
  
The field was now clear.  
Her master and the rest of the dummies disappeared, even the puppetmaster was gone.  
She saw nothing but an empty hallway and a doorway waiting at the end of it.  
Not knowing what else to do, she walked forward.  
The only noises she heard were her own footsteps, echoing again and again in a digital hallway which extended infinitely behind her.  
“Huh? What’s going on here. My body…”  
She reached the door at the end of the hallway and pushed it open.  
The sight she saw at the other side was a traditional looking room, with several portraits hung on every wall.  
The portraits always featured a boy and a girl in key moments of their lives.  
“Those are… my memories…but why?”

In the center of all the potraits, her young master was standing in the center of the room.  
He looked picturesque, like he had never been touched.  
She completely forgot that she had been the one to slice him up a few moments ago.  
“I know… this is just a dream… but still…”  
She reached forward to touch her young master’s cheek.  
A moment before she could touch him, the portaits around her started to dissolve.  
Even though this room was traditional, made of wood and paper, they were dissolving into digital pixels.  
“No, don’t… Please don’t…”  
She did not know how to stop it, so she drew her sword.  
“Don’t touch him! These are all I have left! This is all I have left of him!”  
She sliced forward, at whatever was attacking this place.  
She rushed forward to stab at the mass of digital data.  
It collapsed on the ground in front of her.

She picked up her sword again, raising it high into the air.  
And drove it straight into what was left of his chest.  
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”  
There was nothing composed about her anymore.  
There was no discipline.  
She howled like an animal as tears went down her face.  
“They’re mine! My memories!”  
She stabbed over and over again, watching her master’s body shake by limpy like a doll from the repeated stabbings.

She stabbed her sword into his chest one final time.  
“He’s mine!”

Her young master’s body kept shaking.  
Pekoyama stared at it, only now realizing what she had done again.  
_I didn’t do a thing._ _  
_ _The one who sliced apart your precious memories was you._  
Then, she woke up.

A girl who she shared her cabin with, was shaking her.  


 ♛

 

Pekoyama sipped the tea that had been poured from her. The tea was instant. She was sure the girl who had made it only knew how to make it because she was following the instructions printed on the package. Thus, it was not tea that tasted like anything in particular. It was definitely not the kind of high quality tea that was served at her home.

She could not go home now though, even if she could magically leave this island in an instant so it did not matter too much. She stared at the tea watching it ripple as her hands shook. Pekoyama had always had remarkably steady hands. It was what allowed her to wield a sword so well. Yet now for some reason, she was shaking uncontrollably.  
  
Ikusaba Mukuro looked at Pekoyama in front of her. Despite pouring them both tea as an ice- breaker, the conversation had not even started yet. She had only been staring at the other in silence. For some reason she found it easier to fight the other girl with both of their lives on the line then she did starting a simple conversation.  
  
Seeing the other girl mutter and look terrible in her sleep Mukuro guessed they both had had bad dreams, but she did not really want to dwell on hers and she doubted the other girl did either. _Just. Talk about something. That’s what Makoto would do._ Even if it was something stupid Makoto would say it. “I think it’s cool…! The way you swing your sword and stuf… You… fight… good…” She suddenly spoke up, her voice cracking as she did.  
  
“...Are you alright?” Pekoyama asked her after a long pause.

 _Good job. I said something stupid._ Mukuro thought congratulating herself far too soon. “Specializing in one weapon must mean there’s a lot of versatile ways you can use it, right?”

“I don’t really want to talk about weapons right now.” Pekoyama said. Even though her glasses were off as it was still late in the night, her eyes were affixed to the inside of her cup and Mukuro could not see anything from those eyes.  
  
“W-why not?” Mukuro realized very quickly that she had an incredibly short list of things to talk about.

“No matter how trained I was with my sword, I was useless in the end. I was the one who should have swung my sword in that moment instead of my master. Now I have no reason at all to hold a sword, so discussing weapons is pointless.”  
  
“M-Maybe you’re wrong.” Mukuro stumbled through as she already tried to come up with a half baked argument to that in her head. She thought about it for a moment, if she was in Pekoyama’s shoes. What would be the words she wanted to hear? She could not imagine a world without Makoto, Kumagawa and Junko, because each of them represented such an incredible important amount of her world. It was like asking human civilization to continue if a giant fissure spread across the earth and broke the planet in half.  
  
“What am I wrong about? My master is dead for sure. Are you going to tell me to keep on living as well, because it’s easy to say those words when you still have a reason. It’s easy to just tell somebody that because it’s the right thing to say, keep on hoping, keep on living, I’m sick of hearing those words.”

“I… I think you were wrong from the beginning. I think you were holding your sword for the wrong reason. That’s what I meant. I’m sorry, I’m sorry if you misunderstood me.” Mukuro bowed her head again, and again with each consecutive apology.  
  
“You… you’re really timid. You’re nothing like when you were back when you were fighting for Enoshima.” Pekoyama’s eyes lifted finally, looking over her in confusion.  
  
“I’m not really acting for myself then, I’m just doing what my sister wants. When I think about what I want… I hesitate and act like this. I’m much less confident, and I hesitate more… but sometimes I think it’s good to be like this too.”  
  
“I don’t really care what you think.” Pekoyama said coldly as she sipped her tea again.

“R-right that makes sense. What I said earlier though, about holding your sword for the wrong reason. I think it’s true. To be honest, I’m kinda fed up with all this. Because we have strength, we get carried away and rush face-first into stuff… Even if I have to wonder if it’s okay to live like that…”  
  
“What are you saying?”  
  
“Were you protecting anybody? Or were you just killing? I think, if you hold a sword without thinking about it, it’s hard to distinguish between the two.”  
  
“I wielded my sword for the sake of my young master. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”  
  
“Well… Dreams are meant to change as you grow up, right? Depending on where you’re at. Kindergarden, primary school, middle school, high school… But I’ve always had the same dream ever since I was a little kid, and I’ve been rushing it towards it ever since. For ten years, all I ever thought about was serving Ultimate Despair for Junko’s sake. So I’ve never really had to think hard about my dreams.”  
  
“That’s what made you so strong, isn’t it?”  
  
“THat’s what I used to think but, if it doesn’t change, your possibilities can’t grow, right? That’s how new opportunities are born. I never did that. I never let my dreams grow… All I saw was that one dream, that one person. I put everything I had into that one narrow little world… I feel like there’s so much more I could be doing t help everybody right now that I’m not, and I don’t like that feeling… If I had done things differently up until this point I’d be a person who could save everybody like Makoto, instead of a girl who could only kill..” 

“That’s about you though, what does that have to do with me?”  
  
“For the sake of the person you believe in, you’d cut down anything. Even though they were distant to you, they were all you had so of course you loved them. You knew they loved you back even though they were bad at showing it, because you understood them better than anyone else.”  
  
“You’re talking about your sister though, I’m Fuyuhiko’s tool.”  
  
“No, he was your family. Even if…it was a family you found. Even if it was a family just consisting of the two of you, woefully incomplete, and neither of you knew much about being people, he’s still your family. Even you had a family, okay, Pekoyama-san?”  
  
“I…”  Tears started to well up in her eyes.  
  
Mukuro only felt she had made it worse. She just made Peko cry even though she wanted to cheer her up. “I… I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do. Sometimes I feel like I’ll never find it. I feel like I’ll spend the rest of my life looking for it, but...at least I’m looking now.” She reached across the table, touching the sides of  Pekoyama’s face and tilting her head back to look up at her. “I know that everything is lost now… but… don’t say there’s nothing you can do. You can still… look.”  
  
Pekoyama opened her eyes finally, wet with tears. For the first time she met the other girl’s eyes. The sides of Mukuro’s lip twitched as she offered a smile. It was terribly awkward and forced, and muscles she rarely used were straining from the effort.

  
“I… I’ll try to remember what you said.”  
  
“S-sure…”  
  
Those two girls who did not know how to be human beings just yet only tools, after making eye contact for a second immediately looked away from each other. They still had quite a bit to go.  
  
“Are you serious about never killing anyone, anymore?” Peko wondered.  
  
“Y-yeah… I can’t say for sure because I’m an unreliable person but I promise if I do decide to kill someone, it won’t be you.”  
  
“That’s probably not appropriate to say right now.”  
  
“O-oh, I’m sorry.”

 

♛

 

Tanaka was climbing a tower.  
Sadly this tower did not belong to a sorcerer who was willing to impart on him the mystical dark arts.  
Nor did this tower have a dagon of the darkness flames defending it that he could face off against as the one and only true ice dragon.  
There was nothing particularly cool about this tower.

Yet, he needed to climb it anyway because he knew at the top there was something precious to him.  
The only way he could climb was to use the vines.  
With every time he pulled himself up, the thorns of the vines cut his fingers.  
Even his bandaged hands were starting to ache.  
The bandages turned red with his blood.  
Yet, he had no choice to continue down this road of thorns.  
That was a cool line at least he should be sure to use it later.  
When he finally reached the window at the top he pulled himself in.  
On the cool stone floor he almost collapsed feeling exhausted.  
When he looked up he saw it, that precious thing he had climbed so far up to find.  
She was there, blonde hair, and a foreign looking uniform.  
She slept peacefully hands over her stomach.  
She was a sleeping princess from a fairy tail.  
The kind a dragon like him would guard.  
He reached out to touch her, only to see there was something wrong.  
His pure white princess was stained.  
Like droplets falling into snow.  
The blood spread out from her stomach, and had dyed a great deal of her dress sinking into the fabric.  
He looked, desperate to see what had done this to her.  
In the middle of her stomach was a large screw.  
It screwed her down to the bed she lay on, stabbing straight through her.  
“K-k-k-uuummagaaawwaaaa! My mortal enemy! I swear a blood oath of revenge!”  
He screamed into the night.  
But that did not make him feel any better.  
The precious thing he had hidden away in the tower had still be pierced through after all.  
  
Tanaka Gundham woke up suddenly with a start. He did not understand at all the dream he just had, or even the reasons he might have such a dream. He gripped his forehead, feeling dark thoughts swirl in his skull.  
  
He had known his entire life he would be walking this path alone, straddling the borderline between darkness and light. This was the only journey a forsaken one such as him could take. He had resigned himself to a fate such as that long ago, or so he thought.  
  
A creature born of a demon and an angel would never be able to find companionship, he would be an outcast from both worlds. A creature of darkness like himself should simply get used to the shadows. He would only ever feel a fraction of the light others felt. People who could laugh with companions, people who could stand among them comfortably.  


Yet for some reason as he awoke now he felt lonely. Feeling lonely was different than being alone. He felt like there was some essential part of himself missing. The Tanaka Gundham of the past seemed woefully incomplete compared to the person he was now.  
  
He could not imagine going back to the way it was before. Only having animals by his side to speak to, only having one sided conversations with himself. There was somebody he wanted to see, to speak with, to share with.  
  
They were not here right now. Allowing such an important person to slip from his fingertips, he really was a failure of a human being.  No wonder all he could do was look down at others from a distance.

That person, he conjured their image in his head. He could not find her here. He could at least find somebody to talk to though, that was what he decided on doing. This was the resolve he had found in his heart, and now he would burn with it and let it overflow until it consumed his entire being.

 

♛

 

There were curses written on her desk.  
Not just her desk all around her.  
They were written on the walls.  
Trash had been thrown at her.  
Even her own face was covered by a paper bag with another curse written on it.  
However, Naze did not mind too much.  
She had been purposefully living the most cursed life possible.  
All of the curses of her classmates around her.  
They, themselves, walking curses, with insults and crudeness written in permanent marker on their silhouettes.  
All of those curses made her smile.  
Usually, but at this moment they were getting in her way.  
She was covered in dirt.  
She had even forgotten to take her shoes off indoors that was how much of a hurry she was in.  
She rushed forward, carrying the load on her back.  
She pushed those curse covered people out of the way forgetting about them.  
She needed to keep running.  
She needed to make it to her lab in time.  
The door swung open in front of her.  
She slid through it making it at the last minute.  
While what she had stolen in the load on her back was still fresh.  
She looked outside at the rain streaking across the window.  
It had been such a heavy rain outside that digging was difficult.  
That was why she had tracked so much mud indoors.  
She pulled out her sack and dumped its contents on the table.  
Fresh body parts, taken from new corpses.  
She had grave robbed them to serve as materials for her experiments.  
Naze was careful sewing them together one by one.  
Until all of the body parts together looked like a cute girl about highschool age.  
She set them back on the table and waited for lightning to strike.  
When it did, the lightning jumped from two screws that impaled that girl and electrified her entire body.  
Naze waited, grinning underneath her paper bag.  
However when the lightning stopped the body did not so much as twith.  
“Huh?”  
“What were you thinking, silly little sister.” Maguro said from behind her.  
“Once you’ve lost something, it’s impossible to get it back.”  
“Wait… no…”  
“You shouldn’tve been so reckless with the unnecessary things you threw away.”  
“Koga was never unnecessary.”

Naze woke up with a start. She was swaeting so heavily, it had even caused her bandages to feel heavy on her face. She got up and went to the bathroom to change them keeping the door closed as she did.  
  
When she was just about done she heard a knock on the door. Her roommate who shared her philosophy of being stoic at all times was knocking. Apparently, woken up by the sounds Naze had made in her panic to wake up.  
  
“Is everything alright in there?”  
  
“Of course it is. Naze the Human Remodeler wouldn’t get scared shitless by some dream.” She said, putting on a fake smile.  
  
“Ah, okay then.”  
  
Naze knew, there was no way either her or her roommate would ever show their true faces in front of one another. Literally in her case, as she kept her bandages on at all times even as she slept. Naze picked up a knife once more and stabbed herself in the forehead to complete the redoing of her bandages.  
  
They felt a bit stuffier than usual. Naze decided to get some fresh air. Perhaps she could not talk to that person, but there had to be somebody around with a weak enough personality she could push around to feel better. Ideally it would be Zenkichi, but he would still be out of sorts until his stay at the hospital and blood transfusion was complete. 

She told her roommate she was going on a walk.  
  
“You’re not going to take advantage of the late night to kill anybody, are you?”  
  
“Of course not! If I decided to kill someone there’s no way I’d do in such a cowardly way. That girl Kurokami-san would never forgive me.”  
  
“You mean your sister?”  
  
“Do you refer to your family in familiar terms…?”  
  
“No, I suppose not.”  
  
“Then don’t lecture me, it’s a pain.”  Naze said, as she pushed her way past Kyoko. Bonds were things weighing her down. In the past it was because they had been too happy, too cheerful. Now it was because they were too painful. She did not really need any more of them.  
  
She kept on walking until she found herself at the restaurant.

 

 ♛

 

The three of them, Hinata, Gundham, and Naze suddenly found themselves sitting awkwardly together at the restaurant. As of now all three of them were loners, unwillingly or willingly. They had all woken up at the same time as well.  
  
None of them could come up with a good topic of conversation, or even overcome the awkwardness they felt in order to ask the other what they were doing up so late, so they kept glancing at one another.  
  
It was finally Gundham who spoke up between the three of them. “Hold it you two… If you cherish your lives, it’s better if you don’t come any closer… My magical beasts have a thirst to kill.” He said as he stood up suddenly from his chair and jumped back dramatically while posing.  
  
Hinata only changed the way he was sitting in his chair slightly to look at the other. “You mean your hamsters? I thought they were docile animals…”  
  
“Depends, there are some genes that correlate with behavior. Generally if you breed docile animals with more docile animals, the offspring will have a docile type personality. The same with animals that are hostile to humans. THat’s why it’s believed there’s a genetic component to domesticity.” Naze explained casually, while spinning the knife she always kept stabbed into her forehead around her finger.  
  
“Uhh… what she said.” Hinata had no idea what she said, but he hoped he sounded smart and involved in this conversation for agreeing with her.  
  
“Just as I thought, both of you know nothing.”

 _Awe._ _  
_ _I hedged my bets in the wrong place._  
  
Gundham continued to glare at both of them with his scarred eye. “You will know true terror if you look down on them just because they fit in your palm. They are cruel devil beasts that will devour their parents, their siblings… and even their own children. Their territoriality is frightening. They will never stop attacking until their opponent is dead...”  
  
“Sounds like the animals I bred as a part of the flask plan…They all had such fiercesome personalities they weren’t even terrified by Kurokami-san.” Naze said, her eye narrowing in interest.  
  
Hinata got the impression that Naze did not actually know how to tell that Gundham was most likely exaggerating, because she had lived that kind of hard core lifestyle up until this point.  
  
“So you are a master of the demon arts, too?”  
  
“I… what… no I just used normal breeding and genetic manipulation nothing that abnormal.”  
  
“It sounds abnormal to me.” Hinata squeaked behind her.  
  
"Everything sounds abnormal to you," Naze snapped at him. "Just, tell us about your animals what are your field notes?"  
  
“Today’s fight started when San_d got greedy and encroached upon Jum-P’s territory. Jum-P was knocked aside and his foot stepped into Maga-Z’s territory… Then Maga-Z got angry and unleashed his anger onto Cham-P. I was able to queel their anger by sacrificing my left hand, but it may not be easy next time!”  Gundham shouted in front of all of them, showing off his bandaged left hand, and then clutching it like he was hiding some terrible dark power.  
  
“I-I see… That’s troubling…”

“By the way… Do you know which species of my Four Dark Devas of Destruction has the largest body?” Gundham said, suddenly dropping his arm and changing his mood again.  
  
Hinata thought about it, realizing that Gundham probably just wanted to talk about his hobby instead of that weird stuff he was babbling about earlier. Then he just needed to recall the species of hamster. Uh… he totally knew something like that.  
  
Naze leaned in and whispered to him. “It’s the Golden Hamster.”  
  
“Y-yeah, that was my first guess…” Hinata said before repeating it again louder this time. “Golden Hamsters are the biggest species, right?”  
  
“Yes, those fearsome demon beasts boast the largest size among all hamster species… However, they are also the most docile and are known for being the smartest, too. Other tribes feel no fear. Thus, they give it their all when biting and ripping what stands before them. But , only Goldens know fear. Thus, they usually do not bare their teeth once they recognize you.”  
  
“Uh… do you know what he’s saying?” Hinata glanced back to Naze again.  
  
“He’s saying the hamsters can understand when they bite people…”  
  
“Thanks, you’re like a chuuni translator.” Hinata smiled. “So you’re saying they understand what happens when they bite people, huh?”  
  
“I am not Chuuni! I chose to forgo all light and live in a world of darkness for the sake of sharpening my intellect, I didn’t think it would give me magical powers. Well…it did kind of but that’s… ugh…” She kicked her feet in a bratty display. 

_I can’t tell if she’s having fun or not._  
  
“That’s why you must pay attention to their stress levels when breeding them…” Gundham nodded solemnly, crossing his arms as he did so.

 _He’s certainly having fun at least. It’s nice to see him talk about his hobbies, I wonder if he gets to talk about others with this a lot. Maybe I’m helping just by listening._ Hinata balled his fist underneath his chin. “Hmmm… I certainly didn’t know that.” There was in fact a lot of things that he did not know.  
  
“However, that isn’t the only feature of Goldens. THey have many other unlimited possibilities. Their fur color, quality, and patterns… You could even say they have unlimited combination. After much research, the fruits of my labor were about to be born… A fearsome demon beast with sparkling silver fur, a hybrid creature with dominant spots and bands.” He grit his teeth suddenly, in frustration. “Keh… But now, all I can do is pray for the safety of the mother and child I’ve left behind.”  
  
“Oh, I see you made a successful cross. Did you publish your results?” Naze asked, looking inquisitive once more.  
  
_Oh. He’s talking about a hamster again… I  guess he’s worried about the hamsters he left behind._ “You were probably taking care of other animals, right? Um… are those demon beasts okay, too?”  
  
Gundham stopped grimacing, and instead pulled his scarf over his face. “THere are no problems in that regard. I have pupils around the world. I have already given them orders to continue my research in the synthesis of demon beasts. They know how to avoid any lethal genetics. They will carry out my will and conduct no atrocious experiments. Beyond that… i’ve already made arrangements to leave my demon beasts to those I trust.”  
  
“Are you just talking about your animals though?” Naze asked, looking up from where she had held her chin in her hands. “Are there any people you left behind?”

“...” Gundham suddenly went silent, pulling his scarf even further over his face until it covered his nose. “Woman… why must you pierce straight through my weak point?”  
  
“I thought that’s why you started rambling about your hamsters, you wanted to express you were worried about leaving something behind, or somebody behind…” Naze picked up the knife again and stared at it’s edge. She saw a glint of light reflecting off of it. “I feel the same way.”  
  
“I thought you guys were both loners, but you have precious people too.” Hinata said, feeling disappointed in himself again. There was probably nobody waiting for him to get off this island. WIthout Chiaki, there was also nobody he wanted to see the outside world with. While both of the people in front of him had heavy atmospheres, plagued with regret, Hinata could only feel emptiness. “I… I know it’s sad to be without them, but at least you have your memories of them right? You know they’re waiting for you on the outside so you can use that as motivation to keep going.”

“Wow, Hinata-kun. They say even a broken clock is right twice a day. Even somebody like you can say something smart once in awhile.” Naze said, as she crossed her arms over her chest.  
  
“Hinata is not stupid. He merely speaks to the heart, which is sometimes much more important than speaking to the mind. It’s a quality that both of us intellectual sorcerers lack.”  
  
“A-are you guys insulting me or not?” Hinata said as he left his mouth hanging open in an awkward expression. “I really can’t tell.”  


 ♛

 

  
Komaeda needed to get to the exams on time.  
He was doing this for the sake of his classmates.  
He held the tray in his hands sneaking past the others.  
His Hope’s Peak Uniform on, his bag at his shoulders.  
He had no talent to contribute to others.  
This was the only way he could be helpful.  
He tried to tell everybody that he did not belong in this school.  
That he would only be a nuisance.  
They did not listen so now he did his best to earn his place.  
He carried the trays, and carefully planted what he needed to interfere with the test.  
The building exploded.  
Chisa Yukizome his teacher rushed past him in her apron.  
She was the hope of the class.  
She cared about all of her students individually.  
She had not listened to him though.  
Now, she was walking past him not even looking at him.  
He was suspended soon afterwards.  
Komaeda Nagito wore a strange outfit consisting of a striped shirt, a black leather jacket, and a chain at his neck.  
He was looking for the great despair that he had given into.  
He needed her, because he knew once she was defeated the hope he was waiting his entire life for would rise up.  
He could not find her though.  
He kept looking.  
Just by chance, somebody walked by him.  
They had long black hair and wore a tight fitting suit.  
He saw from the side of their face, that they had crimson red eyes.  
Komaeda turned around and reached back.  
That person had already disappeared.  
It was like they never existed in the first place.  
He told that person that he just wanted to be by them, and witness their hope.  
Why had they not listened to him?  
Why had they gone away?  
He wore a green jacket and tight black pants.  
He walked forward again.  
All he could do was continue to walk forward no matter how many people walked past him.  
This time it was all of the other residents of this island.  
They were not even looking at him.  
Komaeda in return did not even bother to look at them.  
He stared into his own empty hands.  
Komaeda clutched his face, trying to shut out the outside world.  
That was when he noticed, that he was no longer hearing the noises of other people walking away from him.  
He peeked from between his fingers slightly looking over his shoulder.  
A lone boy was looking at him, with spiky hair, and a crooked antenna at the top of his head.  
He was not walking away from him.  
He looked like he was waiting.  
For him of all people.  
Yes, he wished for that so much he dreamed of it.

Komaeda’s eyes fluttered open suddenly. He had always been incredibly delicate when sleeping and easy to wake up. The last time he had a dream like this, he had woken up to see Hinata staring down at him, in a room that was incredibly bright. Now, he was alone in a dark room curled up on his own.  
  
He got out of bed. Hope was a just heart reaching towards the light. Perhaps it was just his half awake state at the moment, or the anxiety the dream gave him, but he wanted to try reaching towards his light again. It would probably go terribly, he would most likely be unable to explain himself but he wanted to try talking to Hinata again.  
  
Hinata was a kind person after all. He always made time to listen to him, even though Komaeda’s words ended up hurting him more often than not. He pulled his jacket on over his pajamas, and zipped up his shoes before walking out.

Komaeda walked around the perimeter of the hotel, back and forth before he could work up the courage to go to Hinata’s cabin this late at night. He just wanted to talk after all. It was not that big of a deal. Though, Hinata might think him creepy. No, he was certain Hinata already thought him creepy.  
  
As he was pacing back and forth he heard voices coming from somewhere else. He walked to the source of the voices, wondering what others were doing this late at night. Perhaps a murder was being plotted, or one was taking place so soon after the last one. If that was the case, Komaeda wanted to be involved.  
  
He felt bad for turning his back on Hinata, but he was sure once he gathered himself he would have something better to introduce himself with. When he walked to the restaurant and found the source of the noise, his expression dropped.  
  
Hinata, laughing and smiling with others. Komaeda thought Hinata might speak with him again, because he had explored the island completely alone yesterday due to Peko’s lapse in mental strength.  
  
There were already other people though, filling in the gap at his side. Komaeda smiled ruefully as he looked at them from afar. “You might be the more lucky one between us, Hinata-kun. No matter where you go, you always find friends.” Komaeda said, as he turned around to walk back to his cabin.  
  
He wanted to fall asleep again.  
Alone.  
And perhaps never wake up.  
That was all he was in the mood to do.

 

 ♛

 

Tsumiki Mikan dreamed of her parents.  
They smiled at her.  
At least she thought they did.  
It was hard to tell because they were skeletons.  
They were not that good for conversation either.  
They were all dressed up and everything, clothes hanging off their bones, but they had nothing to say.  
This was probably he fault.  
Her beloved had told her, that if her parents kept hitting her again and again she should hit them back until they stopped moving.  
That the feeling she would have right then was a much better feeling than years of enduring pain.  
Her beloved was right.  
She was always right.  
A hand reached out for her and caressed her cheek.  
There were red nails on that hand.  
Yes, Tsumiki knew who that hand belonged to.  
But she averted her eyes, pretending not to know.  
She was happier when she did not remember.  
“Oh Tsumiki-senpai. How could you possibly think you were going to be loved, when you’re so ugly?”  
The voice asked her.  
She heard the sound of intestines churning.  
Organs, when they were cut out made a nice noise like squelch.  
She knew because she had torn those two apart.  
Plucked out their organs.  
They spilled out like they were human mannequin dolls that were used for anatomy models.  
She stabbed at them again and again to hear that noise.  
Until there was nothing left but bloody pulp.  
Yet, she saw in the mess of those organs.  
There were mouths.  
They opened and closed wetly.  
And laughed at her.  
Giving into despair had solved nothing, she was still in pain, still being laughed at by everyone.  
How much longer could she endure this she wondered.

There was somebody holding open his arms for her.  
He wore a black uniform, and smiled at her.  
“Kumagawa-kun!”  
She ran and buried her head in his chest.  
However when she looked up she saw, he was a skeleton too.  
The only person who had ever shown her kindness.  
  
Tsumuki Mikan awoke. She had fallen asleep alone on a hospital bed. If there was anybody else in the hospital she probably would have snuck into their bed for the attention. It was because Kumagawa asked her to, that she was sleeping in the third island away from everybody else.  
  
She woke up to go find him. As she wondered the hallways alone, she heard whispers. They were the whispers she always heard, the ones of her own insecurity. She walked unsteadily trying to shut them out until she came to the room at the farthest end of the hall.  
  
She opened the door a crack and peered through it. Kumagawa was in the room just as she thought, but he was asleep on the hospital bed curled up next to Enoshima Junko. Unconscious, neither of them able to open their mouths and ruin it, the scene almost looked normal between them.  
  
_Ah. There’s no room for me. Yeah no room for me. None at all. Shut out._ All of the whispers in her head finally agreed on something. _I should just keep pretending not to know. It’s better that way._

 

 ♛

 

Enoshima Junko dreamed she was sitting on a red chair, in the audience.  
On stage there was a plush bear half black and evil, half white and pure.  
Monokuma spoke in front of her.

 _Did you know that talking about a personal failure is a good way to break the ice when meeting new people?_ _  
_ _Soooo, I’m gonna tell you about my failure._ _  
_ _In the wild world I live in, popularity is a symbol of power._ _  
_ _That’s why I decided to write a fake love letter to myself, so I could brag about it to others._ _  
_ _I was bragging about it to my friend, but unfortunately all I had was the envelope._ _  
_ _When my friend wanted me to show him the unwritten letter, I was in a real bind._ _  
_ _So I showed him a blank piece of paper and said this._ _  
_ _“This letter was written by special ink! Only those chosen by God can see it!”_ _  
_ _Puhuhuhuhu… When I said that, he was all, “That love letter is brimming with passion!”_ _  
_ _However… Things started looking bad at that point._ _  
_ _The other people around us started praising him because they thought he could really read the letter._

 _That’s when he started hogging everyone’s attention as a divine messenger of God…_ _  
_ _And eventually, he was worshipped by society._ _  
_ _Now…he uses his followers to sell shady vases for a quick buck._ _  
_ _Thanks to my big mouth, he became a mulitmillionaire!_ _  
_ _How regretful!_ _  
_ _What an epic fail!_ _  
_ _That was my story of personal failure. What did you think of it? Is the ice broken?_ _  
_ _Since you listened to me wanna buy this vase._ _  
_ _It’s in pretty high demand, I’ll give you a good deal because I like you so much._ _  
_ _  
_ Junko jumped onto the stage. She picked up Monokuma in her arms, hugging him tightly.  
“That’s why I love you so much, Monokuma! That was such a great one man show! You really are so marketable a personality that I can just let you ramble on whatever you want and everybody will listen and think it’s genius.”  
  
She hugged the bear close, squeeing internally  over the ingenious nature of her own mascot.  
However suddenly, there was somebody else in the crowd.

A girl with a sword through her stomach.  
“I don’t think that was very funny, or marketable.”  
“Who asked you?”  
“I’m the only one here, unless you want to talk to yourself.”  
“I’ll talk to Monokuma!”  
“That’s just talking to yourself.”  
“Well, I tend to think I have very good thoughts and opinions better than everybody else’s.”  
“Hey, how do you know what those people’s thoughts and opinions are?”  
“Huh?”  
“You don’t even bother to look at anybody but yourself, so how do you know?”  
“Are you going to try getting all philosophical at me because that’s kind of my thing.”  
“What is your thing?”  
“I just told you it was debating the strong and weak points of hope and despair-”  
“What do you like doing?”  
“I like ruining everybody else’s day. That’s why there’s a sword in your stomach. Are you even listening to me?”  
“What do you dislike?”  
“Girls filled with hope like you. That’s why you’re dead, and I’m not.”  
“Do you want to be alive?”  
“I mean being alive is just build up and foreshadowing for the great payoff of my death-”  
“Are you having fun?”  
“What does that have to do with anything!”  
The girl pulled her hood down, looking at Enoshima Junko with the same look she gave her.  
“I think the show the bear put on had a lot of meaning after all.”  
“Finally! Monokuma’s marketable charms have won you over-”  
“You’re like the letter in the story. You’re entirely blank, but people get convinced they see things in you all on their own.”  
“Huh?”  
“If you were to write down all your feelings in a love letter and give them to someone else, it would just be that, a blank piece of paper.”

“...”  
“There’s nothing you can give to anyone. That’s why you take and take and take.”  
“...”  
“Just an utterly empty girl.”  
“Do you have a point or did you return from the dead just to lecture me?”  
“Mmm… dunno… just… living that way sounds kind of boring.”

Enoshima Junko suddenly snapped awake. She sat up in her bed and shouted. “I know you are but what am I?” It was admittedly not her best comeback. However, nobody else was around to hear it and the boy who was asleep next to her barely stirred in his sleep from it.  
  
“Are you saying that I’m bored out of my skull? Tell me something that I don’t know. Annoying brain. This is why the subconscious is a sub, instead of a dom, because it’s a little bitch.” She said, before exhaling. “It’s too bad nobody was awake to hear that, that joke was super funny. Maaaaaaaaaybe, I’ll let tell it to Monokuma and let him use my material later. Us creative types need to share notes from time to time.”  
  
Then, because there was nobody else around to witness it, and because she herself was about to fall asleep too before she could regret the action she buried her head in his chest. She could hear the sound of his heart beating. Alive, he sounded alive. She had never met anybody who wanted to live more than him. Who was so vibrant and full of life. That was the twisted kind of gal she was after all, to her misery and woe were the brightest of all emotions.  
  
Kumagawa had a full range of emotions. He was never numb to anything, that was why he suffered so much. He lived a life of constant chaos, everything unexpected happening to him at one. Perhaps the dream was right and she was empty.  
  
That was why she decided she was going to take  from him. Every miserable expression he could make, and every smile too. Every time they talked together and laughed at one another. All the times they competed with each other. All of his struggles, and all of his worries.  
That was still not enough. She wanted more, and more, and more. The dream was right all she could do was take from others.  
  
That was why she wanted to take everything from him. He was hers, so he should not mind. She was sure he would not mind. Even if he did mind, she would still take from him. She thought. Maybe.  
  
She wondered if he felt enough to take from her. Perhaps it was a stupid thing to wonder, because who did not want to be her? She was Enoshima Fucking Junko after all. However, her mind always ended up analyzing a situation from every possible angle whether she wanted it to or not.  
  
A blank letter that everybody else pretends is special. Perhaps what Mukuro said was right and Kumagawa was growing more obsessive as of late, but he definitely saw her. They had spent so much time together after all. She rarely even bothered to put on an act around him, at least to the extent that she put an act around everyone else.

So, Kumagawa would want her too. He’d try to take from her too. And then it would be mutual. Just for a moment, before he lost everything. Her heart jumped at the thought, and she steadied, and her breathing, by listening to his and evening them out to his, like she was keeping rhythm with him.  
  
No, it was not a blank letter. Those feelings were real. Even if the entire world around them was fake, those feelings were real. She was sure of it. She would not be able to despair properly otherwise.

“Hey, Misogi…” She said to nobody but herself. “I’m starting to get bored of pretending not to love you.” She said, as she smiled pressing her head against the inside of his chest where no one could see her. What would happen to him then? Probably something terrible, something excruciating, and something amazing. Just considering it made her heart skip a beat. The most unexpected result of them all.  
  
It was then she saw Mikan peeking at them through the doorway.  
Enoshima Junko made up her mind right then.  
There was no reason to let the lid fall on the toychest just yet.  
She was going to have as much fun as she could with all of her toys first.   
Starting with the girl who was now staring at her.  
  
She wondered how easy it would be to revert Mikan back to her older self.  
If she was the mastermind, she would just restore her enemies.  
Well perhaps it paid not to be the mastermind this time around because she could have fun challenging herself.   


 ♛

 

Kumagawa woke up in an empty classroom. Even though all Ajimu did was pester him in his dreams, he really missed her. The chalkboard of the classroom had become covered with his own writing as he collected his thoughts every night.

『It’s the same predictable pattern every time, why am I so bad at stopping this from happening?』

『The first murder is somebody who seemed important.』  
『The next murder a secret is revealed.』  
『The third will be a double murder.』  
  
He punched hard against the chalkboard. He smudged the chalk somewhat. This empty room was starting to feel like an echo chamber. No matter how hard he thought he never made progress. No matter how much he cheated he could never get ahead.  
  
That was his life anyway, so why was it bothering him so much this time? Kumagawa listened to the silence of the room, trying to let it fill him so he could have some peace of mind at least. Then it happened, the silence spoke up.  
  
“You know what they say the definition of insanity is? Trying the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result?”

『Ajimu...san?』Kumagawa’s voice cracked as he looked around the room. After all these sleepless nights, the room that he had always returned to from his middle school days had never once been filled with anybody but him.  
  
“I’m not her. There’s nobody else here but me.”

『What? Why am I hearing things?』  
  
“Because you have aspirations of being happy. That’s where your soul starts to unravel.”

『N-no I can’t afford to break down now. Not this time. This round is going to be the worst round of them all.』  
  
He stumbled forward and slammed his head against the chalkboard.

『Endure.』  
  
Blood trickled down his cracked forehead.

『Endure.』  
  
“It doesn’t matter how much pain you inflict on yourself now. You can’t go back to your previous way of being. You’ve tasted happiness.”

『Endure.』  
  
“You too. Even you reach out for the light. Once she figures that out, she’ll lose all interest in you.”

『G-go away.』

“You see, you can’t escape me. I am within you. Your opposite half. Shadow at your feet. After all, I am you.”  
  
He saw it extending from his feet. Inky black, a pitch black shadow whose only discernible features were two dotted white eyes, and a crescent smile which looked empty, looking back at him. The shadow he cast. No, he himself was a shadow who could do nothing but run away from the light.

Kumagawa Misogi woke up with a start. Enoshima Junko was holding onto him. Usually she only held him to be possessive but just this once, she was incredibly comfortable leaning against him.  
  
He felt warm just being in her presence. She was a brilliant person after all. Even though she had no interest in being that way at all. Not only that, but in this moment he felt a certain softness towards her.  
  
Before meeting her he really did think the world could only cause him pain. That was exactly why though, he did not want this moment to linger on. Miserable people feared soft things, they could cut themselves on wool like it was glass.

『Junko, you drool in your sleep.』He said, to wake her up.

Rudely awakened, she spent the rest of the morning getting her revenge on this. Kumagawa was much happier that way though, at least he thought so.

 

 ♛

  
Hinata confronted Monokuma the next morning. Just like he was in a trial, he pointed at him in front of everyone striking a heroic pose.  
  
“I know what the next motive is, you’re messing with our dreams! Well it’s not going to work, I’d rather go without sleep for the rest of my life than kill somebody.”  
  
“Huh?” Monokuma tilted his cute head looking confused. “I didn’t do that. Dreams are a cliche. Going ‘it was all a dream’ is the second worst ending after going ‘it was just a game all along’. I’d never stoop to that level.”  
  
“Then, uh… why did we keep having bad dreams?”  
  
“Maybe because you’re a bunch of hormonal adolescents in a game where you’re forced to kill each other which makes you incredibly anxious?”  
  
“Uh… I guess that could be it.”  
  
“Don’t worry Hinata. If you think your dreams are scary, then I’ll make the waking world an even worse living nightmare for you that way they won’t be as scary in comparison.’  
  
“That’s not comforting at all!”


	18. The Shadow Always at Your Feet (3 - Kill x Cure)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I should start doing chapter summaries again. Mikan is in this one!

Gentle abuse, repeated over and over.  
  
“You little brat. You have my attention now, didn’t you want it? You were acting like a little bitch earlier, practically begging for it!”

She had become a master of reading the moods of her indecisive parents. They left her alone most of the time, in a trash filled house that looked barely livable. At school, she was bullied for smelling so awful. At home, for pestering her parents with the smallest of requests they often turned on her.  
  
Yet they were her only parents in the world, so it was not like she could live without them either. She was aware of how terribly she was being treated. When she was not given negative attention though, she was given none at all. She started trying to convince herself that the negative attention was better.

“I’m your papa! You fucking pig!”  
  
She grew her hair out long, so it would hurt less when she was dragged by it. Her hair was thick and coarse though, so it grew apart in ugly strands. She hated that part of herself, but to be fair she hated every other part too.  
  
Today, her father seemed particularly annoyed. He dragged her so harshly, her head hit against the wall. Mikan had stopped struggling a long time ago. Instead she learned her parents facial movements and tried to placate them. She tried to change herself in every small way possible in order to stop the pain.  
  
That did not seem to work. She assumed if she did enough they would stop, but she assumed wrong about the basic nature of human beings. They are cruel, without reason, and without limit. It was why Enoshima Junko found their despair to be so fascinating. Lately, she was even starting to lose sight of herself.

Who was the person, MIkan? Just a series of defenses built up together. She would bow her head whenever she needed, she would beg for attention, she would fall to look weak, she would let others use her, all of these defenses against being hurt. The only thing that defined her personality now, was her reaction to pain. Even those were fragile. Having endured so much, so early on in life, you think it would make her tough but she only got weaker and weaker. She was a fragile house of cards, built of her many, many self defense mechanisms and they were all waiting to crumble any minute the wind so much as changed.  
  
“P-p-please don’t….” Mikan begged as she was thrown down on the ground finally in front of her father.

“Hey. You shitty pig, where’s the best place totarget someone if you want to effectively torture them?”  
  
“I-I-I don’t know.”  
  
“You got accepted into that special school. You think you’re so smart, but you can’t even answer that question?”  
  
“I’m sorry…”  
  
“You know the answer. You’re just looking down on me. A pig that can only squeal and roll around in the mud all day long thinks she’s better than her father.”  
  
“N-no I don’t think that way.”  
  
“It’s simple. You can target anywhere, really. As long as you avoid fatal areas like the head and stomach. There are areas that aren’t fatal but still very painful, such as the shoulders and back… You can punch and pick those areas, as much as you want.”  
  
After explaining what he was going to do.  
Like some kind of villain that would only appear in fiction.  
He did almost exactly that.  
Repeatedly.  
Over and over.  
There was no logical reason for this, nor was there anything Mikan had done wrong. She only came to understand that this negative attention was how people interacted. It could come at any time, for any reason, and it would not stop even after begging and crying.  
  
“Why do you always look at me that way? I’m doing my best at your father, and you look down on me!”  
  
She only looked at him so much, because she was reading him to see when he would next enter one of his bad moods.  
  
“This is what you get for getting a big head just because some stupid school said you had talent.”

“I-I don’t think I’m anything... I’m a pig just like you said. I’m a disgrace to such a good daddy.“

“Am I really a good dad?”  
  
She was collapsed on the floor, unable to move without agitating the bruises on her back. He stood over her looking down without reacting to the way her body was shaking in pain just from breathing.  
  
“I-I’m so sorry. You’re such a good dad. Yet you gave birth to a worthless daughter like me. Can you forgive me? I didn’t mean to disgrace such a good dad by existing. Forgive me, please. I’m sorry for making you waste your energy beating me up.”  
  
Sometimes when she begged like this, he stopped, and sometimes he did not. Yet, it was the only thing that worked so she tried it frantically.

“Why should I forgive you?” He said leering down at her. “You haven’t even done anything for me to show you’re sorry yet.”  
  
Tsumiki Mikan decided then she liked her parents much more after they were dead. When she was alone, she could pretend that the pain they had given her was love.

That day, into her trash filled home she brought a friend over. Her friend was so bubbly in cheerful, she announced herself at the doorway. “I’m hoooooooome.”  
  
Before then, Tsumiki had always tried to come home as quietly as possible as not to upset anyone. She wanted to be noticed, but she did not want to be noticed. It was a difficult balance. “Listen to this, Tsumiki-senpai. Today at school, I think a stalker came looking for me.”  
  
“Oh, that sounds scary.”  Mikan looked to a hunched over lady with long black hair, just like hers. “Doesn’t that sound scary mom?”  
  
“Guys are always coming after me because of my modeling career, that’s why I gotta protect my virtue y’know. Oh this credit card’s all maxed out by the way you can have it back.” Her friend said, handing her a card. Mikan stopped for a moment to study her beautiful red nails. She wondered what it would feel like, to have those nails raking across her skin.  
  
“Oh, I’m sorry about that. You can have it back daddy. You had a worse credit limit than I thought you’d have. You’re embarrassing me in front of my friend.” Mikan said as she slid the credit card back into her father’s front pocket. He laid back on the couch, not moving at all. “D-do you want to do anything? N-now that we’re home.”  
  
“Yeah. Time for some tv, and dinner.” Her friend picked up the remote, and turned on the television. It was the only light in the room. Nobody reacted besides Mikan. That was because, her father laying back on the couch did not have any eyeballs, and his jaw was broken off his corpse. Her mother’s hair which had fallen forward in front of her face, hid the fact that her face was completely caved in.  
  
This house was still filled with garbage, and among that garbage was the corpses of her parents. Her friend yawned. “Hmm. This place is pretty boring.”

“I-I’m sorry.”  
  
“No biggie! I mean… you’re going to help me have lots of fun soon, after all.” She said, as she crossed her legs showing off her gorgeous thighs barely kept hidden by her tiny, tiny red skirt.  
  
“Y-you’ll forgive me?”  
  
“I’ll forgive you as many times as you need. That’s why we should keep having fun together, right?”  
  
Those were the words of her beloved. The ones that allowed her heavily wounded self threatening to fall apart, be stitched back together slowly. Even though she could remember those words, she still could not remember the face of her beloved. In her recollection, the girl looking back at her then was wearing a bear mask, half pitch black evil bear, and half pure white cute bear.

 

 ♛

 

“Misogi, do you think I’m empty?”

『No way you’re empty. You’re filled with lots of neat stuff, like blood, bones, intestines.』

“I didn’t mean literally. Don’t get smart with me, you’re going to throw off the rhythm of our banter.”

『Oh no. What would happen then? We might actually have to have a conversation between wo human beings, and not two performers.』

“You’re avoiding the question.”

『I’m good at avoiding things, it’s what makes me such a high level coward.』

“Well even still you can’t get away from me.”  They were sitting on the edge of the same bed, and Junko oh so casually leaned against him, making sure her chest pressed against him. Every time she let him get close like this he always reacted the same way, he froze up entire body tensing at once. She knew that reaction, it was the kind somebody made when they only expected pain. To her, Misogi was absolutely adorable when he was like that.

He was a bit backwards though, he only expected pain but he also had no idea how to handle soft things. 『Y-y-you have lots of things inside of you, your spite, your possessiveness, your pride...』

“None of those are good things to be filled with! What horrible things do you think of me?”

『I think everything of you, Junko.』  
  
“The excellent me has a lot of better qualities than that that you could name.”

『I was just being honest somebody who calls themselves the excellent me has a chest that’s swelling with a lot of pride.』

“You should be thankful my chest swells so much, I can see you looking at it.”

『I-It’s not my fault.』

“Besides, at least I take pride in things like my looks, my smarts, my wonderful personality. Unlike you who takes pride in all of his loser qualities.”

『Well, I wanted to be the best at something, even if it was just at being the worst.』

“You can’t even call yourself that because I’m the best at being the worst! My despair’s cool, your despair’s drool we’ve so been over this before.” She suddenly flopped back on the bed, her mood changing as fast as ever. Her voice dropped into something terribly gloomy and she lost her usual energetic nature. “Ugh...I should have known better than asking you for advice… I guess lowering myself to rely on you is its own form of despair.”

『Huh? You can talk to me if you want, Junko.』Kumagawa looked over her, watching as her hair fell in every direction around her. It was difficult to keep up in her normal pigtails when she was confined to a hospital bed all day and secretly he liked it better that way as well. He picked up part of her hair in his hand, casually running his fingers through it as he spoke. 『You’re filled with despair right? Why are you suddenly so worried about being filled with anything else.』

“As if I would waste precious time of my day worrying. Don’t you know this world is rigged to work out in my favor? Things will always go my way so I don’t even need to worry. Worrying is bad for your skin, anyway.”

『So, you’re worrying then...』Kumagawa played with her blonde hair between his fingers, wondering how his dark hands were even allowed to touch something so bright. There had to be a limit right, there was no way somebody as beautiful and untouched as her could stand to be so close to him without being poisoned. _How can someone who drank sewage like me, drink in such a beautiful sight now?_ Kumagawa was never allowed to sip clear, unsullied water before. That was why, somehow he was able to worry about tainting that woman who was poison itself. 『I think it’s fine. You’ve lived up until this point living in despair, and filling yourself with it haven’t you? If that’s what you need to do to live, you should keep living that way.』  
  
“But what if… one day I got bored of despair. Then I’d really have nothing. There would be nothing in this entire world for me…”

『This world isn’t nothing. It’s not empty.』Kumagawa suddenly put his hand down on the mattress and leaned over her. Lately, he had started to wonder what would happen if he let their colors mix. Anybody else he would only ruin, but he thought Junko might appreciate whatever chaotic result would come when one was mixed into the other, dabbing and first, and then swirling all at once until the two lost their original colors and became something else entirely. The result would surely be called abstract, the colors even unidentifiable, but they could leave marks on each other that way. Proof that they had gotten close enough to be all mixed up in one another.『I’m here. Even if you get bored of despair, we’ll find something else.』

“No, there won’t be something else. Despair is the only thing that makes things a fraction more interesting than anything else.”  Junko Enoshima was despair incarnate. She was born in despair, letting it infect other people's hope so it could rot from the inside out, twisting them into her own image. For Junko, feeling hope was iit’s wn despair. Creating despair in others created despair in herself, which caused her to feel both intense pain and intense bliss. Junko had walked the fracture created from the conflict between pleasure and penance all her life. Fully expecting one day the fissure would widen enough to swallow her whole, and she would be satisfied with that.

She had never once thought of living beyond that point.She had never once thought of wanting more than that. Kumagawa Misogi insisted though, he shouted loud enough to reach her even in her own isolated little empty world that consisted only of herself, that if she disappeared she would be missing out on something. That there would always be a deeper despair waiting for her around the corner.

“Despair is all I have.”

『You have me.』

There was another despair besides her. Kumagawa’s hope could not be corrupted, because he had never felt hope to begin with. He could not be twisted further because he was already twisted. He would never be happy, never be satisfied, never win, there was absolutely no reason for him to continue forward but he always did. That was what baffled her the most.  
  
He was just like her, he saw nothing and no meaning in the world. Yet for her, that was a reason to be bored with the entire world. For him, seeing the world for what it really was, rejecting the idea that it might have inherent meaning only motivated him to find meaning of his own.  
  
He also had no reason to want to be near her. Yet, he always stuck around like this. “Were you trying to reassure me? Of course I have you, you’re mine after all. I suppose the obvious will have to do. It’s a stupid thing to worry about anyway, because there’s no way despair will ever stop being the best, the fad to all fads.”

She was getting bored of this though. As much as Kumagawa could try, he could never really give her an answer he himself had never found. He only knew how to keep living and nothing else. Asking really had been pointless. She wondered when she of all people had started engaging in such pointless things. She didn’t like to talk. Those who actually knew her close enough to see her as a person, had always kept their bonds unspoken, and Enoshima Junko preferred most of all to be an actor on a stage. She kept up her act, trying to fool everybody else and herself that she just might be having fun, and when that did not work it served as a distraction at least.  
  
Just then she saw her next distraction. Tsumiki Mikan had hesitated before entering through the doorway once again. Technically, her and Kumagawa had no name for their relationship, but they were undoubtedly close, even an oblivious idiot like Kurokami Medaka noticed that. It did not help that Kumagawa ran his big fat stupid mouth whenever he wanted about their relationship. She got annoyed by that because she was naturally a private girl, she wanted to keep everything, the entire world really, in her closed hand, her nails baring down tightly on that.  
  
Tsumiki was perceptive though, she could see things that even Junko wanted to keep tightly concealed. There were a few times that she had even successfully managed to read her face, which wore so many masks and shifted between them like it was second nature she sometimes did not realize what real expression she was concealing. They were all, the many personalities she put on and shifted between when she got bored of the last, real to her. Tsumiki probably detected it, the something real she felt for Kumagawa. She was so sensitive she probably even picked up on it before Junko herself did. Tsumiki almost never hid what she was feeling either, well she tried but it often crept to the surface.  
  
If she had been hiding it for so long, repressing it, Junko wondered idly what ugly form it would take once unleashed. There was an expression, playing another person like a fiddle. Enoshima Junko had never met such an easy instrument to play as Mikan. She wondered why nobody else had done so to this point, but in Junko’s experience most people were dumber than her. They were probably scared off by Mikan’s erratic behavior, as she flipped back and forth between pleasure and pain, trying to please absolutely everyone around her and failing to do so for everyone.

There was nothing else to do in this hospital anyway, and she wanted to put off thinking about the future as long as she could, which Kumagawa kept consistently bringing up, so she decided she might try plucking on that girl’s strings again with her long red nails.  
  
Just then, Kumagawa spoke up interrupting her train of thought. 『Mikan-chan, come in.』  
  
“I-I’m not bothering you am I?”

Technically she was interrupting, as Kumagawa had been leaning over her and staring at her intensely with those damn eyes of his, that looked like water she could never see the how deep it reached no matter how much she looked it them, which caused her to end up looking longer than she needed to. However, Kumagawa immediately sat up right then. 『There’s no way you could bother me. Mikan-chan is so cute and nice, I always have so much fun when I’m around her, even when I’m in horrible pain.』  
  
“Why are you talking about her in the third person?”

『I’m sending positivity her way.』

“Yeah, I’m sure the guy who literally radiates negativity in an aura that physically manifests somehow… is going to be sending out some real positive signals.”

『Mikan-chan, did you want something?』

“Y-y-you want something from me right? I’ll giving you anything you want, Kumagawa-senpai. You can have the clothes off my back too.”

Her rambling did not faze Kumagawa at all, he merely kept smiling at her.『No, Mikan-chan I’m just asking why you were standing at the door.』

“Right! It’s time for Junko’s medication! The blood transfusion was successful but there are several complications that can arise from losing a limb that should be monitored, especially in the sudden, traumatic and reckless way Junko lost her hand.”

“So you’re saying I”m still stuck in here, ugh. Boring.”

“I-I’m sorry. I’ll do anything to make you have more fun! You can write on me if you want, or feed me bugs to see what kind of faces I’ll make.”

『Mikan-chan you don’t have to do those things. Don’t let Junko do anything sadistic to you, after all her and I are in that kind of relationship.』  
  
“...”

『Junko that’s usually your cue to say ‘We’re not in any kind of relationship’ and then we banter for a few more lines.』

“Nah. I’m not feeling it. The whole denial of your true feelings trope is overplayed you know?”

『I don’t know what you’re talking about but okay, way to throw off our banter.』

Junko smiled, as she saw Mikan wince when Kumagawa mentioned a relationship. Really, she did not need to do anything. Kumagawa was always hurting others, as easy as he breathed, whether intentional or not. He had a strange quality of empathy that allowed him to draw close to others and speak his true feelings, but just as often as it helped it hurt.

Mikan threw herself into her work suddenly, picking out pills on her tray for Junko to take. Kumagawa watched her, because he knew Mikan liked to be watched and given attention.『Did you prescribe these yourself?』

  
“N-no, I’m only a nurse. I can’t do anything serious like a doctor would be able to. Naze was the one who figured out what we should give her.”

『Still, Mikan-chan is staying in the hospital with us to watch over you, instead of exploring the island like everybody else. She’s so kind and thoughtful.』

  
“Ehhh…” Junko swiped the entire bottle away, like a thieving cat. “So, if I took all of these would I die?”

“Hey, Junko you shouldn’t mess around with that kind of thing. Overdoses could lead to sevearl possible complications.”  
  
“Well what if I just went brain dead instead of dying? Wouldn’t you like me more than way, Tsumiki-senpai? After all you could care for me and I’d never be able to leave my bed.”  
  
“Uh….” Mikan suddenly hesitated.

Kumagawa suddenly struck at the side of her hand, knocking the pill bottle aside and onto the floor.『Whoops, clumsy me.』He said at her with a smile as if he had not even heard her threat.  
  
“Hey, Tsumiki-senpai are there any hazardous materials lying around this hospital? What if I got a syringe stuck in me, or accidentally cut myself playing with a scalpel. You know how easy it is to accidentally sever a major artery. How fast do you think it’d take me to bleed out?”  
  
“Uh… well an adult heart pumps blood at several liters per minute, a severed artery could mean losing consciousness in thirty seconds to three minutes if bleeding is unrestricted.”  
  
“Do you think I’d look beautiful, covered in blood like that?”

『You look beautiful just as you are, Junko. Besides, getting your blood everywhere would just be a mess, and a brat like you never cleans up her own messes to begin with..』Kumagawa kept smiling, as if he was just ignoring what she said.

“Hey, Tsumiki-senpai what if I rewired a defibrillator and fried myself. I’d probably be brain dead if I got lucky, maybe even paralyzed and bedridden then I’d be completely dependant on you.”

『You’re already lazy enough as it is, when you’re not acting as a mastermind you’re basically just a NEET.』  
  
“Hey, I want to hear what Tsumiki-senpai thinks. All of these treatments used to save people can just as easily kill them, the borederline between life and death is so tenuous isn’t that fun?”

“J-Junko please… I don’t want to think about you dying I can’t… I can’t bear the thought of losing you aga-”

『It’s not fun, there’s nothing fun about it!』Kumagawa spoke over her, his smile suddenly fading. His face twisted into the kind of unpleasantness that she only saw when his trauma was stepped on. At this, she smiled back at him like an angel as his face became more and more demonic unable to hide his true feelings. 『Why… why am I never good enough. Your obsession with Dan is so… so… boring!』  
  
Realizing he had lost his composure exactly like Junko wanted him to, Kumagawa hesitated for a moment. She grabbed at his face, looking almost hungry as she did, licking her lips just so. She saw tears welling in the corner of his eyes. He really did… he really cared about her enough to get hurt this much. That thought gave her pause for some reason.  
  
Enough for Kumagawa to be able to slap away her prying fingers. He covered his face with his arm, wiping it with his sleeve. Kumagawa gave the impression that he might down in that moment. That was how much despair the thought of her death filled him with. 『I need to go wash my face. It’s got icky Junko cooties all over it. Mikan-chan, can you watch her please?』  
  
“Y-y-you really trust me with something like that?”

『Of course I trust you! Mikan-chan is so strong, that’s why weak and sick patients have no choice but to rely on her. Even the useless me relies on her too much.』He said, pleasantly smiling again as he left the room.

Mikan was perceptive enough about people though, she knew all of Kumagawa’s smiles were fake as much as she wanted to believe in them.

 

 ♛

 

Kumagawa turned the faucet on and let the water run. He splashed his face a few times and looked at the result in the mirror. 『Good to see I’m as cute as ever!』He said, and then laughed at his own joke.

“Why are you bothering? It won’t become clean no matter how much you wash it off.”

『Junko?』Kumagawa looked behind him. 『Ajimu-san...』His brow suddenly knotted as he realized what was happening. Time which had been flowing at its normal rate a moment ago, slowed down. He could see everything in intense detail, even something as simple as a bead of sweat rolling down his brow and falling off. Every noise became much louder.  
  
There was nothing actually wrong with the scene around him though, and no tampering on Monokuma’s part. This was all simply Kumagawa’s perception. “You really are a good actor, Kumagawa. Pretending to be torn up so much at the thought of Junko’s death.”

『I am...』He breathed those words heavily.  
  
“It’s not like you’re worried about her well being though, you just don’t want to lose her. Those are two different things. You don’t want to feel the pain you did when you lost Ajimu to her own suicidal ways again is all.”

『That’s not it, I don’t see her that way...』

“It’s okay, I’m not criticizing you.”

『That’s not how I feel...』

“You might understand it intellectually, but you can’t help how you feel, isn’t that right? You’re not afraid for Junko’s life, you just hate the reality of the situation. You’ve stumbled upon the realization that you can never be happy. Now that you’ve touched her, you haven’t gotten closer you’ve only gotten a good look at the distance between you and her. You’ve realized you’re separate individuals. You know now, don’t you…”

『I don’t know anything..』  
  
“Pretending to be ignorant won’t change reality. Even your minus which can supposedly change reality didn’t amount to much in the end, after all you made it so the killing game never happend only to end up in another one.”

『What do I know?』

“You can no longer go on without Junko, but Junko’s able to go on without you. That’s all that’s bothering you. You hate the idea that she can so easily decide to leave you and go off on her own.”

『I’m not like that.』  
  
“Poor thing, and you thought you were going to be happy.”

『I don’t use people like that! I wasn’t just clinging to them for my self satisfaction....』  
  
“Yes you do… You’re using Mikan-chan right now. You know it’s dangerous to have her be near Junko, but you risk it anyway because you can’t bear to lose Junko. You’re using her the exact same way Junko did. I feel bad for her, she switched from being one terrible child’s toy to another.”

『She wanted to help...』

“You should go back to the way you used to be… before you wished for happiness. Three years ago you'd never be this weak.”

『N-no...』

“You’ll never be happy, but you could make this island into a paradise. There’s no need for tomboy girls like her…”  
  
『Who are you?』

“I told you… I’m what you can never escape from. You shouldn’t run from yourself, I get so lonely after all.” In the mirror he saw it, a boy with the sides of his head shaved, wearing a hakubone middle school costume, playing with a loop puzzle idly but never able to solve it.

Kumagawa decided to step away from the bathroom. As he walked out, Ajimu was waiting for him, idly sitting there with her arms crossed as she leaned on the wall. “I told you, you couldn’t handle this on your own. Do you want to finally talk about our situation?”

『There’s nothing to talk about.』

“Kumagawa-kun, we should talk about you.”

『Like I said, there’s nothing to talk about. There’s no need to talk about anything.』Kumagawa gripped his forehead as he tried to get a grip on himself. 『If I rely on you again, I really won’t have changed at all.』

“Kumagawa-kun, stop it. Even you can’t handle this much.”

『I don’t know what you’re talking about, Vice President Ajimu-san. Endurance is my only good quality.』Just like that, holding onto that word endure under his breath he walked away from her leaving her alone in the hallway.

 

 ♛

  
  
“Tsumiki-senpai are you really satisfied with this?”  
  
“What are you talking about, Junko? I’m really happy to get the chance to care for you.” She said with a smile, as she redid the bandages that were running up Junko’s wrist. She had no idea about the construction of whatever prosthetic Monokuma had attached to her, so this was the least she could do.  
  
“Well you know, you’d think a nurse would be one of the most useful talents to have for survival in a killing game, right?”

“D-d-do you really think somebody like me could be useful?”  
  
“That’s literally what I just said. God, it’s almost not worth the effort of having to repeat myself when I’m trying to explain to these idiots what their motivations are.”  
  
“W-were you talking to someone?”  
  
“No, just forget it. Anyway, you’re happy you came to this island right? For you, this irrational, hopeless, dangerous situation that’s had everybody else worried is secretly making you happy.”

  
“Th-that’s just because… I thought everybody could work together and focus on the same goal, and start to rely on me. Even you’re finally relying on me again, Junko…” Mikan gently played with her fingers, staring at them as she did. She avoided looking at Junko.  
  
That was what made it so hard to tell, even for Junko. Kumagawa erased her memories, but did she remember, or not? She might have pieced it together from what she overheard. Yet she still referred to her beloved as if they were a person who no longer existed in this world. Well, Junko thought it would be more fun to start from scratch, anyway. “Even though you’re finally useful though, isn’t there somebody more useful than you?”

“Huh?”  
  
“As long as Naze’s around, you kind of look lackluster in comparison. And you were already so lackluster in comparison to everybody else, this was supposed to be the one thing that you were useful in right, but Naze’s better than you.”  
  
“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  
  
“I’m just saying.” At that Enoshima Junko smiled and placed a finger on her oh so red lips. The same lips Mikan was currently staring at. “That situation’s no fun, right?”

“Kumagawa-kun says I’m useful. Even if nobody else does he’ll always say it as many times as I need.”  
  
“But… you’re not the most important person to Misogi either, so what good does it do you? Besides, you’re a perceptive gal aren’t you? No matter how much he repeats those words, you have to know, those words are empty when he says them.”  
  
“...”  
  
“What do you like so much about Kumagawa’s way of thinking, anyway? You find your own scars beautiful? No matter how much you try to think that way, it still hurts when you endure pain.”  
  
“Then, what should I do, Junko?”  
  
“Instead of always patching people up, why not cause them pain? Why not make them see how much they need you?” She pulled out a shining scalpel she had snatched away earlier, offering it to Mikan. “I’ll throw you a bone. If you want to become important to somebody, then destroy their most precious thing. Then they’ll have no choice but to turn to you.”  
  
Mikan knew in that moment. Kumagawa’s most precious thing was Enoshima Junko. All it would take was one quick slice across a major artery. She memorized those facts about the body over and over again hoping it would make herself useful to others. They always got annoyed when she talked about the human body, and how much she enjoyed injuries in gratuitous detail. All except one person. One person who could disappear at any moment, because he had no reason to cling to her. Because there was nothing of substance to him.

She could injure him far worse than anybody else ever had, and keep him restrained to a bed. Unlike Junko she would be kind to him. Kumagawa was weak as well, he would not manipulate her like her last beloved person had.

Anybody and anything was fine, as long as she was needed. She had decided that a long time ago. One day she simply woke up and realized. At school, at home, there was simply nobody in this world that loved her. She could substitute that just fine for being needed.   
  
All she needed was to be needed.   
She would not mistake charity for what it was.  
She would not mistake kindness for what it was.   
There were only those who were used, and the users.   
If she could not be one, she had to be the other.   
Those who were neither were completely alone. That was even worse.

Junko wanted to die too. She imagined the expression on her face Junko would have as she was dying, perhaps she would finally see those beautiful, feminine features usually twisted in some way become gentle in affection. She would be grateful to her after all. This time, this time, this time, this time, this time, this time, _she would be loved, she would be loved, she would be loved._

  
Her fingers trembled, holding the scalpel. Then suddenly, hands reached for, and overlapped hers. From behind, Kumagawa had grabbed her gently and embraced her. Slowly his fingers intertwined with hers, and pried the scalpel out of her hands. 『This isn’t your fault, Mikan-chan, it’s mine. I underestimated how annoying Junko can be when she’s left alone.』  
  
“K-k-k-k-umagawa-kun wait! I’m sorry, you can stab a thousand needles into me for my apology if you want.”

『It’s fine, you don’t have to apologize. I already said it wasn’t your fault. You should go rest okay, your face looks tired. When’s the last time you slept?』He said, reaching out to touch her face.

Nobody noticed anything at all about Mikan, she was usually good at hiding her own injuries. Normally she might have been delighted, but when Kumagawa told her to go rest she only heard one thing.

 _I screwed up._ _  
_ _He doesn’t need me anymore._

As MIkan left the room, Junko glared at Kumagawa with an annoyed expression. “Why do you always have to ruin my fun?” She looked more like a child being forced to part with a favorite toy then any actual genuine frustration.

『It’s because I find your fun boring.』Kumagawa said, smiling back at her the same as always as if nothing at all had happened to him on this day.

 

 ♛

 

Hinata had gone to the hospital to check on Tsumiki MIkan. Despite being off put by her behavior, he felt bad that everybody else left her alone with people like Junko and Kumagawa who he had already written off as the two worst people on the island.

  
However, he was unable to find her and sleepy from a few consecutive nights without sleep, due to having recurring dreams about the red eyes watching him. As only one room in the hospital was taken up he thought he could have a quick nap.  
  
This time, thankfully his dreams were short. He dreamed about an old school building with dreary lighting. The entire building was large enough to house several people and explore, but he only kept inside one room. Until, one day he was rudely awakened. In front of him a shadow appeared.

He was quit strong and could kill others easily, but no matter how many times he beat down the shadow it would not go away. “This is boring. Have you realized it yet how below me you are, or do you really believe yourself special and unique for wanting to challenge the talented? You’re more transparent than you think you are…”  
  
Suddenly in front of him, that shadow started to cry. 『Don’t get the wrong idea, REDACTED I’m not crying because your hits hurt, or because I’ve fallen into despair. These are tears of joy. I was so happy when Anshinin told me all about you!』Kumagawa stood up once more, but rather than try to fight again he held both of his hands open.  『I’ve waited my entire life to meet you! For someone like you who was even more of a minus then me! The reason those two follow me, is because they were happy to find somebody more pathetic than they were. I was looking for that too, looking for somebody minuser so I could be relieved of being the worst, most pathetic, most awful person in all of existence.』

“More nonsense.”

『No it’s not! Don’t be cruel REDACTED. These are words from the heart from somebody whose fallen for you! I really did think my life was the worst, I was untalented, and had no friends, and couldn’t work hard. But you know, even somebody like me was able to keep living as myself, as insecure and fragile as an existence as I was.』

“...”

The shadow lost its form and began to wrap itself around him. Even though he was strong, he found himself being restrained by the shadow, like a snake wrapping around each of his individual limbs. 『THE WORDS THAT HE SAID NEXT WERE TOO MUCH FOR HIM TO ACCEPT. HE WAS AMAZED THAT THIS SHADOW COULD SPEAK LIKE THIS. THAT THIS SHADOW COULD SAY WORDS THAT DENIED HIS ENTIRE EXISTENCE. tHE LAST TIME HE HEARD SOMEONE SPEAK SO CONVINCINGLY, THAT GIRL WITH RED EYES TURNED UP IN HIS CELL.』

The shadow had devoured him entirely. He could only feel one thing, repulsion. He wanted to be rid of this person so much he was willing to peel his skin off. He wanted to stop hearing the noises that shadow was making so much he would drive a spike into his ears and dig out his own ear drums. He rejected that existence entirely.『I’m so happy to meet you, I can barely keep it in. Thanks to you I can finally feel good about myself in comparison! Thank you! I’m so grateful! I’ll do anything for you! I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth! I’ll lick your boots, please, just let me serve under you. You’re a minus among minuses! You failed completely even at being an untalented normal person, what made you think you’d be able to stand among the talented? You belong with us, REDACTED-chan! You can be the king of the minuses!』

 _Why? Why?_ _  
_ _Why do I hate this person so much with all of my being?_

He thought, before suddenly waking up. The last fight nights he had woken up entirely alone. This time, when he woke up there was something soft and warm next to him. Hinata looked up to see Mikan had crawled into bed with him while he was asleep. _Oh, I guess I found MIkan._ He thought before closing his eyes.  
  
Then suddenly, his eyes opened again and he backpedalled off the bed so fast that he landed on his bottom on the floor. Tsumiki woke from the crashing noise, gently rising up and wiping at her eyes. “Oh, Hinata-kun that’s dangerous. Did you get a bruise on your bottom, take your pants off so I can check.”  
  
“Okay, yeah sure… Wait a minute I’m not taking anything off.” _Man I am way too suggestible._ He got to his feet right then, dusting off his bottom for a moment before turning his attention to her. “What are you doing, you can’t just sneak into somebody’s bed like that.”  
  
“Y-y-y-y-y-y-you didn’t do anything wrong. It was my fault. That’s definitely it…!”  
  
“W-what? Well, you don’t have to get so worked up it’s probably my fault too..” _Wait, why am I taking fault here? I’m a pushover too. I’m getting pushed over by Mikan of all people._

Suddenly, Mikan was a few centimeters away from his face. “...Huh? Hinata-kun, you look pale.”  
  
“Huh…? R-really?”  
  
“Yes your blood circulation looks worse than usual. Have you been eating breakfast? Have you been getting enough sleep?”  
  
Hinata rolled his hand into a fist and rested his chin on it. “Well, I’ve been eating somewhat… but I guess I’m not getting enough sleep.” He thought about telling Mikan about the dreams he was having every night, but she might do something like offer to sleep in the same bed with him to relieve his stress... That was the last thing he wanted. MIkan was a pretty enough girl but Hinata was tired of jumping to conclusions about people having feelings for him, he had really worn his legs out doing that.  
  
“I understand you can’t help it since we’re in this situation, but try to avoid any stimulants before you sleep, take deep breaths, and do some light stretching. Little things like that should help with the quality of your sleep. If you don’t get enough sleep it can weaken your immune system and lead to various illnesses. So please be careful, also…” As she spoke she touchedher fingers together, and for the first time she looked genuinely happy.  
  
Hinata had watched her, and his mouth had slowly fallen open as he did. She noticed the change in his face right away, she was so sensitive even the smallest twitch would have set her off, but Hinata was the kind of person who had his emotions written out all over his dumb face. “Um…? Is something the matter?” She stopped suddenly.

“No… I’m just a little surprised.”  
  
Suddenly, tears welled in the corner of her eyes as she started to panic. “Ah… I-I forgot to get ahold of myself again… I-I’m terribly sorry! I”m terribly sorry…!”

“You’re wrong. You’re amazing. You really are the Ultimate Nurse.” Hinata said, pointing out the obvious because it was what he was best at.  
  
“...It’s not that big of a deal. I’m just skilled at reading people’s faces. I’ve been liek this ever since I was young… I would get beaten up at school, and at home a lot… Since nobody would help me when I was hurt, I just did it myself and eventually, I got good at it. That’s..it, really.”  
  
Hinata realized how much Mikan was downplaying her struggles in that moment. The same way Komaeda had downplayed his struggles in front of him. At the time Hinata had said nothing, and he thought maybe that was the reason Komaeda was so distant lately. This time, he wanted to say the right thing. “B-but…” How could he praise Mikan? He wanted to say something that would help her. “I think you have an amazing talent for helping people. I mean, even now… you noticed right away that I wans’t feeling well, right? So, thank you… for caring about me.”   _Wait no… That’s no good. I just praised her talent again I want to praise Mikan as a person. I sound like Komaeda._

“I… always treated myself for my own sake… But… one day I realized something. Sick and injured people are weaker than me.”

“...Huh?”  
  
“I  mean… if you ignore a sick or injured person, they won’t be able to endure the pain… And if worse comes to worse, they could even die, right? BUt if I know the proper way to treat them, that means my words are absolute… Which means… They’ll need me.” As she said this she touched her fingers again smiling in delight. It was the second time Hinata had seen her that happy, but for the entirely wrong reasons. “They’ll depend on me completely. THat’s why… I can’t leave the sick and injured alone. Because… they always listen to what I say.”

 _I thought I was slowly starting to understand Mikan little bit little…_ _  
_ _But I guess I was completely wrong again._  
Why don’t I get people at all? I’m trying so hard.

He was so absorbed in his own thoughts, that he did not notice the change in Mikan’s face. It was sudden, like something which had been holding out for a long time finally snapped. “Hinata-kun you’re so kind. You’re just like me in a way, you want to be useful to everyone too. I’m sorry I can’t make you useful for everyone, but I can make you needed by me…”  
  
“Uh… what are you talking about?”

“I really need you… to stay in that bed. So you can never leave again.”

Suddenly, Hajime saw a glint of silver. Before he could even react to it, something plunged into his back. He was just having a conversation with Mikan, he had come to check on her because he was worried about her on her own.

_How did things turn out like this._

“Don’t worry, I didn’t stab you anywhere remotely fatal. It’s just a flesh wound. However, if you lose enough blood you’ll be stuck in this hospital too….”

“M-mikan. Don’t. You don’t want to do this. I know you’re not like this.”  
  
“You don’t know anything, Hinata-kun. If you saw the real me… I’m sure… not even the kind you would be able to forgive me.”

『Mikan-chan, that’s enough!』A voice rose out over them, causing Mikan to turn around and pull the scalpel from Hajime and stab at whatever was behind her. The scalpel plunged straight into Kumagawa’s open plm, but he hardly flinched. He simply closed his hands around it and took it away from he.『This time it was your fault. Say sorry. 』  
  
“I… I’m sorry. P-p-p-pplease don’t hate me. ”

『I don’t hate you, but you did something wrong.』  
  
“Y-y-you’ll forgive me, won’t you?”

Just then, Kumagawa reached up with his bloodied hand smearing blood on her face. 『I’ll forgive you as many times as you need.』  
  
For some reason those words of comfort terrified Mikan. She muttered one last sorry, before running out of the room. Kumagawa turned his head around watching her as she went. Hinata expected him to smile like normal. However in that moment, Kumagawa walked over to check on Hinata’s wound. He had gotten close enough, that Hinata could tell he was shaking. Somebody like Kumagawa was so shaken, they looked like they might shatter like glass. 『Hey, tell everybody else I was the one that stabbed you… okay?』

It was the last thing that Hinata expected to hear. “Kumagawa. Have we met… before?”

『Haha, no way! You hate me after all, there’s no way we could have been friends in the past Hajime-chan.』

 

 ♛

 

Hinata scratched at the stitches on his back. Despite claiming he was incompetent at everything, Kumagawa was surprisingly good at sewing up wounds. Now that Hinata thought about it, considering all the injuries on Kumagawa’s body he probably got good at it the same way that Mikan did.  
  
He really did not understand those two at all. Every time he thought he understood somebody, they showed a new side to them. He thought he knew Peko, and then she turned out to be a mafia assassin. Just when he thought he was starting to understand Komaeda, the two of them grew further apart than ever. The words of Monokuma rung in his ear, how it was impossible to completely understand others.  
  
He walked along the water at the edge of the docks, staring into it for a moment. **“It’s not that you don’t understand, you just don’t want to understand.”** Suddenly a voice in his head spoke. He felt a shooting pain. It was the same voice he heard in his dreams. No, this was wrong, he was not supposed to hear this in reality.

 **“You want to understand them but you don’t want them to understand you. You want to be close to others, without them being close to you.”** The voice continued to speak, each syllable racked his brain with another round of pain.  
  
“What are you talking about?”

**“That’s not even a common problem though. That’s not unique to you. Everybody feels that. Even your greatest issue is just the same fear of closeness that any person would have.”**

“What do you mean?”

**“People want to be close, but as they draw closer they are hurt so they get further away. It’s a pattern that repeats over and over again, rendering it predictable, ergo, boring.”**

“They’re not boring. All of the people on this island, are so much fun. I just want to stand among them.”

He saw it in front of him. It was like somebody had spilled oil on the water. Oil that spread across the surface and rippled with every passing wave. Oil and water could not mix, they could not coexist. They always repelled one another when they were in the same space. The inky black oil spread in every direction, until it started to take a shape. He saw his own reflection staring back at him, but the black of the oil had tainted his hair, causing it to grow long and spiral in every direction.  
  
“I want them to see me.”

 **“You don’t want them to see you, because when they do they’ll see you for what you really are.”** **  
**

“What am I?”  
  
**“Nothing.”** **  
  
**

At that, Hajime became so enraged he jumped into the water to disperse the reflection he saw. He did it without thinking, and realized a moment later that there were fresh stitches in his back he could not afford to get wet.  
  
He started to sink under the water, and as he did he saw his reflection appear again. That boy’s hair reached out, and slowly wrapped around his limbs, pulling him close, closer. Before he coulld be completely pulled in though, he felt something tugging at his back, pulling him back.  
  
He turned around and saw it. A boy with a head of pure light. To him, he looked at pure light at that moment.  
  
Later, Hinata regained consciousness in his own room. When he did he saw Komaeda smiling down at him. “You were unbelievably lucky that I happened to be walking by right at the time you jumped off that dock. What were you doing, trying to see if you were the Utlimate Swimmer?”  
  
“Komaeda…Thank you…”  
  
“There’s no need to thank me. I haven’t even done anything for you yet. But, I’ve decided I should watch over you more closely from now on. If you’re going to do something as stupid as drowning. What good would that death do in a killing game?”  
  
“Huh…?”  
  
Only then did Hinata notice, the weight around his wrist. He lifted it up and saw a shackle attached to his wrist. “What… did you do, Komaeda?”  
  
“Everything was going so well when we were shackled together. We should just go back to that. That way I can watch you more closely.” Komaeda said with a smile, not realizing the inherent terror in his words.


	19. The Shadow At Your Feet (4 -You x Me)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Komaeda's in this one a lot.

Hands bound behind his back, he lay on the floor. He needed to be kept alive, so every few hours a tray of food and water would be slid to him from underneath the door. He was a middle schooler and barely had the strength to overpower other middle schoolers, let alone an adult, but he could not even be unbound for that.

When he wanted to eat, he would crawl forward while still bound, and lap water and swallow the bread whole with just his mouth like he was a dog. Even for a middle schooler he had quite a bit of pride. He was rich, and had been living on his own for awhile now, and he had already figured out the way he wanted to live. So, he had no time for the other children in his class, and spent most of the time looking down on them as they were just common middle schoolers without any outstanding qualities. A class that could be found anywhere, even though he had paid money and studied to get into a private school hoping he would find a more unique experience to witness. In spite of that pride though, he was willing to slobber and force down mouldy bread like this. He was willing to eat like a dog because food was required to keep on living.  
  
At the time he did not think about why he was so desperate to keep on living. It was not like he was scared, or feared for his own life like a normal child might be. He had been put through too many life threatening situations already, he had become numb to that. If he had to put it into words perhaps it was just a sense of _not yet._ That kept him going. He had lived his life so far without witnessing something amazing happen, something that would hypothetically make living this long worth it. Perhaps it was odd for a middle schooler to think that their life had been a long one, but time was relative, and pain made the time feel longer.  
  
His only way of keeping track of time was through the meals. After the thirteenth or so piece of bred his eyes had entirely adjusted to the dark. His room was filthy, and he hated it. Not only did the serial killer not throw away his garbage, but Komaeda could smell blood sunken into the ground around him. The killer probably did not clean this room in between victims. One single boy, with his arms and legs bound, kept in a small dark room that smelled awful, there was not much for him to do to pass the time. He was used to waiting for good things to happen in the middle of tragedy, that was how his life had been up until this point but even the waiting seemed empty. He could not yet put into words why. He was only a middle schooler, but he could not bring himself to feel fear, or concern over his life in this situation, and thus he felt nothing at all. Nothing but a slight disgust, and pain in his wrists from where rubbing the ties that bound him against the ground over and over had burned his skin raw.

Eventually, the serial killer got angry with him. Apparently it had been almost a week with no reply on his ransom note, even though he had gone out of his way to kidnap such a rich kid. Apparently, this was also his fault as well. In addition to the mouldy bread and foul smelling water that marked his day, he also was able to keep track of time with the kidnapper’s infrequent beatings.

Bound, unable to resist, he was kicked on his back over and over again. He felt a dull throbbing that never left him after that, his entire body ached to move. It had never been that strong to begin with though. It was his good luck that no matter how hard he was kicked, Komaeda never seemed to break any bones. Perhaps that was bad luck though, because the kidnapper seeing how hard it was to break him, would always keep kicking. Again. Again. Again. Again. Dull repetition with no meaning. Komaeda stared with dull colorless eyes at the garbage trying to find something interesting among it to look at, because he was tired of the sensation of being beaten. That was when the kidnapper said something odd.  
  
“No matter how much I kick you around you never cry out or scream.It’s creeping me out, you little freak.” The kidnapper said, grabbing him the long white hair on the back of his head, and slamming his head hard into the ground.

 _You’re the one who kills people for no good reason You’re the freak, not me._ Komaeda thought, his face pressed against the floor which smelled like shit. He lied there for awhile, because he did not have the strength to get up. There was a reason he was able to stay silent through all of this suffering. It was because he knew at the end of it, he would get to witness something amazing.  
  
He was sure, he was sure deep in his heart somewhere that someone would come to save him. The kind of person who could defeat a serial killer and save a little boy who had nobody else in the world, he was sure they would be an amazing person.  
  
The beatings continued. He heard the man's voice repeat again and again.   
  
"Why won't you cry? You little bitch."

"..."  
  
“Don't you remember how you got kidnapped. I took you in broad daylight, even when you cried out for help nobody even looked your way.”

"..."  
  
"You were such a worthless kid to kidnap. Nobody even paid your ransom."

 _Why...  
_ _Why is this happening...  
Is it a punishment?  
No it's more like life itself is a punishment._

Komaeda at one point stopped paying attention to the time passing. He did not quite recall how he escaped. He only knew the last glimpse he saw of the sky that day was completely grey. It had been raining that day. He was thrown in a dumpster, and assaulted with the smell of wet foul trash. He wriggled around in the bag until he could free himself, and finally snapped the bonds that had almost rubbed away all the skin on his wrist. Then as he pulled himself out of the trash can, he saw two things passing him by. One a police officer who just happened to be walking by, and two in the same trash bag a piece of paper had flown into the air. Komaeda snatched it out of curiosity, and saw it was a lottery ticket.

He had been expecting a great hope to come save him. Nobody did. In the end, his good luck only came in the form of this small piece of paper.  
   
Nobody was going to save him, because the world itself and the people inside of it, none of them had any inherent value.  
  
The only thing that could give this world meaning was hope. That was what he decided that day, surrounded by the garbage, and the noisy places, and ugly people that he hated the most. 

 

  
 ♛

 

“You’ve officially gone nuts…” Hinata said as he looked at the chain on his wrist. He tugged against it for a moment, before he realized that his wrist would break first before the chain did, and even he was not dumb enough to cut his hand off at the wrist just to get a chain off of him.  
  
“No, I officially went nuts halfway through the first trial when the true nature of my character was revealed. Did you forget about that? Your attention span is even shorter than I thought, Hinata-kun.”  
  
“Quit joking around! You can’t just chain people up while they’re unconscious!” Hinata’s brows twitched in anger, as he glared at Komaeda hot enough to light him on fire.  
  
Komaeda replied as in an oddly cool manner. That was how Komaeda was though, he got worked up in situations where everybody remained calm, and remained calm in situations everybody would lose their mind. “Yes you can, evidenced by the fact that I just did it to you. When I was younger, somebody knocked me unconscious as well and chained me up. It’s actually much easier to do it when the person is unconscious.”  
  
“I wasn’t talking about the logistics of it!” Hinata snapped at him. His eyes lowered, like a dog might before they were about to bite. “There are other people on the island you know, they’ll notice I’m gone.”  
  
“Actually, you’ve been asleep for two days after nearly drowning yourself and nobody has said anything.”

“Damnit, I forgot that all my friends were assholes.” Hinata said rubbing his forehead in frustration. He wondered to what extent they were even friends to begin with, since they were all in a killing game together the way they interacted could not be called normal by any stretch of the word.

“Hinata-kun that’s no way to talk about your fellow Ultimate Talents. You shouldn’t be rude.” Komaeda said, suddenly looking down at him again his face shifting from his usual pleasant looking self to something more condescending. It was odd how fast he could change like that, like flipping a switch.

“You know what’s rude? Chaining people up when they’re unconscious!” Hinata said, swinging his wrist around to cause the chain to clamor for emphasis.  
  
“You’re right, it’s rude, and also quite arrogant on my part to chain you up to trash like me. However, it’s a necessary rudeness. It’s for your own good…”  Komaeda’s eyes were gray skies, so thick with cloud cover not a single ray of light could get through them. The kind of skies that only appeared on the most melancholy days, Hinata could remember. Yet in that moment Hinata thought they somehow became even a bit more clouded. “You almost drowned you know… You’ll hurt yourself again if you’re left alone. You’re no good on your own.”

Hinata saw the sadness and concern mixed in Komaeda’s voice. By this point he could figure out at least, that Komaeda was somebody who almost never had bad intentions for anybody. Yet when he acted on his good intentions, he almost always brought about the worst result possible. “That’s still no excuse for chaining somebody up against their will.”  
  
“You kept me chained to you all last round against my will. Specifically because you thought I might hurt someone. In fact, I think even if I wasn’t chained to you specifically, but tied up in a room by the other players you wouldn’t speak out against it, because you hate disagreeing with what the majority thinks.”  
  
Komaeda could turn really hostile in a moment too if he wanted to, like another switch was flipped. Hinata observed this as his face became slightly exasperated. Perhaps it was not the idea of being chained up that bothered him. After all he had gotten used to handcuffing himself to Komaeda the entire last round. Perhaps he was caught by surprise when he woke up… or perhaps he did not want to be around Komaeda now that the two of them had a falling out.  
  
No, neither of those were the answer. If Hinata wanted to be able to feel things properly, he first needed to acknowledge what his real feelings were instead of constantly trying to blind himself. The person he was angry at was not Komaeda at all, but himself. He was angry at himself He was angry that he needed to rely on Komaeda of all people, beause he was so weak that he had let himself get stabbed by Mikan, and then so foolish he jumped into the water without thinking.  
  
He was angry that he needed to rely on Komaeda because despite all the time they had been apart. Komaeda was just smiling at him like nothing happened. Komaeda’s lack of reaction to things made him angry, there was someone in front of him he could not understand, and who in return could not understand him. No matter how close they grew, no matter how close up he looked at Komaeda the contradictions only seemed to run deeper. Finally, Hinata said it in a low growl. “Why do you care about my life anyway? You’re the one who wants the killing game to continue.”

At that, Komaeda tilted his head looking at his curled up fingers in confusion. When he looked like that, his eyes were not just blank, they were entirely vacant, as if Komaeda himself did not understand or hear the words he was saying. “I want the killing game to continue yes, but… I don’t want anybody to die.”

“How come you’re always implying that I’m dumb? At least I don’t say stupid shit like that!” Hinata put his hand on his forehead, covering up one of his eyes as he did. “You want there to be a killing game, but you don’t want people to die? How does that work out? That’s just a contradiction… no, you’re lying, you’re suddenly changing what you say to mess with me on purpose again aren’t you?”

“N-no, Hinata-kun. I’m trying to be honest. That’s really what I think… I can’t help it that my thoughts are like that.”

“You just sound like you’re justifying yourself, like one of those people that doesn’t care about the consequences for their actions as long as they had good intentions.”  
  
“I… I’m sorry… it’s just I’ve always lived like this… I’ve always lived needing to justify myself.”

 

 ♛

 

Nanami Chiaki struggled against Tsumiki Mikan, who easily overpowered her and kept her restrained. The girl’s cries of struggle were heard by her classmate, but she saw something strange.  
  
A smile spread across the white haired boy’s face. “You… you were helping her? Komaeda, I thought you cared about all of our classmates?”

“What are you talking about, I do…” Komaeda was the one who had gone through the trouble of luring her into this trap after all. The two of them stood alone in his abandoned mansion, a house that despite him living in it for years showed absolutely no signs of living. “I went through considerable trouble making sure you’d complete this little game. Leaving you openings to progress, clues delivered one by one to unravel the mystery… That was me.Consider it “game balance” as they say. You’ve thought about it before, I”m sure. You’re the Super Highschool Level Gamer after all. Why there’s always a hint for where to progress next, why the path you must travel on to advance is always clear. I thought the best way for your talents to evolve, was to make life more like a game. This was all to help you grow, and I am the one who made it that way.”  
  
“W-why me…?”  
  
“Hm, you mean why was I so particular on choosing you? Well, that is everybody else’s fault of course.”  
  
“Our classmates?”  
  
“They all look up to you as their beloved class rep. Despite the fact that they’ve all given into despair, part of them holds out hope thinking you can save them. There’s also your talent to consider. In a way you’re just like her… just like Enoshima Junko, the one I truly hate.”  
  
“I’m not!”  
  
“You’re an Ultimate. You see everything as a game. Why do you seem so upset? I thought you would like this? It’s like a game, with fourteen bosses, and then a final boss. If you had just progressed as I planned you’d be able to rise up to the occasion.”  
  
“What are you even talking about? Komaeda!”  
  
“I thought the comparison between the two of you made a particularly compelling narrative. Junko Enoshima, the embodiment of despair iteself, possessing the strongest most predictive talent. You, a girl who is only good at playing video games. If you were able to apply your talent to stand against her… that would bring hope to the people?”

“What… so… you wanted me to defeat her? Then why did you help bring our classmates over to her side? Why didn’t you just work with me?”  
  
“Enoshima Junko is an overwhelming enemy you must face down. Hope is exclusively found on the side of the weak. The losing side. People are touched by underdog stories, slaying goliath, the losing team winning the game. The majority of society is made up of the untalented. They are inspired by such tales.”  
  
“Wh-what are you saying?”  
  
“If my assumptions are correct, when you defeat her you will release a light even brighter than hers. Enough to calm down the reserve course, and bring our friends back to our side. And in order for that to happen I need you to participate in my game. Through the game you will grow, defeat the final boss, and become the hope for your classmates, no, this whole school! THat’s why it would be quite disappointing if you give up halfway through…” He waved his hand to the side flippantly, only barely hiding his frustration at her behind his smiling face. Then suddenly, his mood changed like a switch had been flipped within him. He went from condescending villain explaining his plan, to a humble beggar as he fell at her feet. “Please! Save our class from despair! Show me your dazzling light of hope to crush despair!”

Komaeda’s eyes were always a cloudy grey, but the ones he looked up at her with at that moment were a swirling storm.Hope and despair spiraled around in them, like winds that as they turned and turned. He was the one standing in the center of the storm after all. He was the one who wanted it to be this way, so he could be close enough to witness the great moment of hope he had been waiting for his entire life.  
  
At least that is what he deluded himself into thinking. The reality was closer to this, his whole life had been a tempest.

“Komaeda… I just want our friends to go back to the way they were, we were all smiling and happy. I don’t know what you want from me because… you helped ruin those days. You… you.. Sound so stupid!”

“Ah, I see. So you still don’t understand. I blame myself I should have been more enthusiastic. But regardless… I truly believe in you…Nanami you’ll defeat Enoshima Junko for sure.”

“Komaeda… I… I’m scared of fighting for everybody alone. Why did you help take them all away from me? We were such good friends.”  
  
Komaeda saw the tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. That happiness was only something he watched from the sidelines, but still he felt a fresh stab of guilt for interrupting it. However, the character he was playing right now could not show guilt. He needed to most effectively motivate Chiaki, and that required playing the villain. He spoke to her, but in a way it sounded like he was speaking to himself, like the words echoed off the long walls of this place and only reached his ears. “No matter how big the despair, hope will always win in the end. That is why I feel no remorse becoming despair myself.”

“Komaeda what happened to you?”  
  
He shrugged, nonchalant. “Who cares about me? The more important thing is what you are going to do now.”

“How am I supposed to defeat her? She has everybody on her side! It’s impossible. You could at least come with me, we could work together.”

“I’m already working together with you. I made it so you could warp to the last level. All you have to do is defeat the final boss. You save the princess after defeating the final boss, right? But it’ll be alright. No matter what kind of despair awaits you, hope will overcome it. The deeper and darker the despair, the brighter and more powerful the hope born from it.”

“Komaeda...despite the fact that you know you’ve fallen into despair, you still fight for hope. Was that… was that really Junko’s influence? Or were you always like this?”

To those words, Komaeda had no reply at all. His insides were already hollow. They had rotted out a long time ago. Those were words were only a wind blowing through him, reminding him of that hollowness. He averted his eyes, and snapped his fingers. Despite claiming that he wanted to witness this battle up close, for some reason he could not bring himself to look at Chiaki as she was dragged away.  
  
Mikan’s words were frantic. “I’m so sorry, Nanami, but we’re going to get closer after this. We’ll share our wounds with each other, and get even closer.”  
  
Next to him, Enoshima Junko broke out into uproarious laughter. She had been staying silent the whole time to watch the scene as a member from the audience, but now she felt like throwing tomatoes straight at Komaeda.  
  
“You’re in quite a good mood. Despite the fact that your plan is about to be ruined.” He said, looking off to the side. He did not want to look directly at Enoshima Junko either.

“You always go on and on about your one sided love, right? Well this is a one sided rivalry. You don’t even begin to understand what I’m planning. You barely factor into the scenario at all. The fact that you’d deliver your beloved classmate, symbol of everyone’s hope right to my doorstep was just as I predicted to. It doesn’t matter how much you level grind, my dear servant when I’m looking right at the code.”  
  
“Well it doesn't matter what you’re planning. In the end hope shall win the day.” Komaeda sighed, and crossed his arms.  
  
“So to prove your little point about hope or whatevs, you brought on the despair, huh? It’s totally contradictory.”     
  
“No, you misunderstand. In order to get rid of all the despair you first must let it flourish. Wait until the despair has grown to its largest size, and then burn it, all the way to the roots. ANd after that, only hope will remain. That is the world I seek. THere is nothing contradictory in that. Well, not that it even matters.”

“You’re right, it doesn’t! Sing to whatever tune you want to, dance wildly enough to break your strings.” She wrapped her arm around him, and pulled him close to whisper in his ear. He could see, her red nails, wrapping tighter around those strings, ready to pluck at the strings of his heart. “It doesn’t matter, because you’re going to die soon aren’t you? My cute little servant.”

One last all or nothing fight between Enoshima Junko and Nanami Chiaki, that was what he expected. What he wanted to happen was Nanami to overcome Junko’s trap, and his own machinations and be able to save all of them, to save the academy. As Junko’s plan was something that should never have happened, the reserve course should never have been able to overcome a school of Utlimate Talents.

However, the end result of his plan was watching Nanami Chiaki stabbed from every angle. Tears streamd from both of his eyes, rain had finally fallen for him. He ould not remember the last time he had cried. “You’re a monster.... What you’ve done to Nanami was unforgiveable. She was our greatest hope. This sight is more than I can bear…”  
  
After Chiaki died, he told himself that a bigger hope was waiting to rise up.  
In the end though the person who defeated Enoshima Junko, the one he hated the most, was somebody who did not care much for hope or despair at all.  
While it happened, he was screwed to a wall, entirely irrelevant.

 

 ♛

 

“It’s none of your business anyway, whether I hurt myself or not.”

“You’re right I am irrelevant, but even an irrelevant and weak person like me wants to protect the hopes that all of you represent.”  
  
Hinata grit his teeth. He felt a fresh jolt of anger running through him. So much so even the antenna on top of his head suddenly shifted like it had been struck with electricity. He tried to think hard on it.  
  
Even if he was not a person who understood things right away, he always kept trying. THat was what Chiaki said she liked about him. That was what he wanted to do for Komaeda in this instance.  
  
He dug deeper and deeper.  
His mind diving down as he thought.  
What he really hated was...  
What really bothered him was…  
_What really annoyed me…_

He saw Komaeda’s smiling face appear in his mind. For some reason, picturing that right now made his heart tremble. “I didn’t mean it like tha! I didn’t want to call you irrelevant! What I meant is… you don’t have any right to be concerned about if I hurt myself because… you’re always the one trying to hurt yourself too!”  
  
Hinata hated the idea of Komaeda dying.  
The thought of it filled him with so much pain he wanted to push Komaeda away.  
Komaeda was always so nonchalant about death.  
The only reason he treated Chiaki and Fuyuhiko as so expendable was because.  
He must have saw his own life the same way.  
  
“Somebody whose constantly running around shouting please kill me, please kill me! Talk to me so you can kill me! Like an idiot! Doesn’t have any right to be saving anybody! You should have just let me my dumbass drown because my head full of lead was causing me to sink.”  
  
“No…” Komaeda said softly. He only raised his voice when he was playing the part of despair to motivate everybody else, he had never considered raising his voice in something as petty as an argument between two boys. Yet somehow in this instant he was able to shout so loudly he felt his throat scratch. “There is no way I could ever do that! There’s no way I could ever let you drown!”

“Then the same goes for me! I can’t let you die either!” Hinata shouted back just as loudly.  
  
More or less, both boys felt the same thing at this point. Yet somehow a miscommunication was still happening between them. That was the nature of their relationship, they could yell their feelings at the top of their lungs to one another and still it would somehow not reach the other.  
  
Komaeda shook his head. “You can’t put yourself at risk for me, because I don’t matter as much as you.”

“Is that really how you feel? Do you always want to put yourself down in front of others and let others walk all over you.”  
  
“My feelings do not matter…” Komaeda repeated, his oft repeated justification. He wanted to witness this all for the sake of his own self satisfaction, for his one way love not caring how others felt, but at the same time it’s that thing that distanced himself from everyone, that made him irrelevant in the first place.  
  
“That’s the problem! How am I supposed to know if you’re upset if you never value your feelings enough to tell me? You always bottle everything up until the last minute, and then you pull crazy stunts like this!” Hinata said, as he gestured with his arm again causing the chain to rattle again. “Komaeda I was… I was being horrible to you. I said all those terrible things and you kept smiling? Why was that?”  
  
“It’s because you were upset, and you needed somebody to take your emotions out on. I knew, exactly why you were saying all those things. Besides, considering what I did in the first trial it’s only fair I be blamed for the way things turn out.”  
  
“You can’t just let me hurt you like that and suffer in silence. That’s not how you felt. You were obviously upset… why didn’t you just tell me. Why didn’t you just yell back at me?”

“My feelings don’t matter… So I can’t speak up for them… I can’t waste your precious time on things that don’t matter to me.”

“What if they mattered to me?! Huh? Did you think about that?”Hinata was now so close, that he was yelling in his face.

 

 ♛

 

 _I've thought about it so many times..._  
  
By some stroke of luck, he found himself at this strange school.   
  
The days before the crazy transfer class, the days before the almost tragedy when the academy was up in flames, those peaceful days in the past when the grass was still green and Komaeda looked upon it in envy as he sat on the back of his class. He simply watched the beautiful people, and the quiet places, the days play out in front of him. He tried to enjoy just that, as a membe of the audience.   
  
He watched his classmates interact with one another, and tried not to notice that even here, the academy that represented all of his dreams he had not managed to make a single friend. This academy was his greatest hope after all. It would likely be the place where he would die.  
  
He came here to find the hope he had been looking for his whole life. He wished more than anything to see that hope. He just wanted to help the others shine. Even though he was only an Ultimate Luckster who did not deserve to be here. He watched the pink blossoms dance through the air, thinking that the seasons were already changing.  
  
He idly wondered what the next season would bring, and pushed away thoughts of how much time he had left.  He decided to stand up and started to walk back to the classroom. As he did, a gaggle of reserve course students passed him by. Komaeda sneered at them like normal, looking down on them as they crossed his path. They were such ugly people, and they polluted this place with such noise. 

“---, thinks he’s big shit.”  
“Yeah, the big man on campus can buy us drinks.”  
“Come on, -- since you think you’re going to make it to the Ultimate Course after all.”  
  
Just then, by accident he bumped the shoulder of one of the boy’s as he walked by. He looked back and saw the boy had spiky hair, and a crooked looking antenna in the center of his head.   
  
“Oh, I’m sorry. Please take care of yourself.”  
  
That boy said, before walking on without him. He disappeared, and Komaeda merely stood under the tree which they had collided under for a moment, before deciding to turn around. The other boy had already disappeared into the cherry blossoms.   
  
_Hey...  
If I had met somebody like you back then...  
Would things have turned out differently?  
I have no idea who you were...   
What you were doing before this island...  
But I keep thinking if I met you in the past.  
If you tried to understand me then like you did now.  
Would things have ended up like this?   
...  
You're just a stranger who washed up on that beach.   
I don't even know what your talent is...  
Why do I keep thinking about you like this? _

 ♛

Komaeda had hesitated unable to answer him.  
The two boys sat indoors, a chain across the floor. They stared in silence at one another for a moment. Then, Hinata sighed.   
  
“Komaeda...  you should be mad at me, for saying all those mean things to you."  
  
“I'm not mad at you, Hinata-kun."   
  
"Then get mad! Do you really like it when I say bad things to you? Do you like it when I leave you all alone." 

"No, I don't like those things."   
  
"Then why don't you just say those things? Why don't you say you don't like it?""   
  
"It's not that easy! You always treat me like I'm lying or I'm contradicting myself just to mess with you, but I don't even want to do it half the time! I know that I'm doing it, and I also don't want to be doing what I'm doing but I can't make it stop. So, it's better not to even treat my feelings as important because if I bring my feelings into things, if I try to express them, it's only going to get worse."

"What if I want to hear your feelings then?"  
  
"You'll only get hurt. That's what you said. That I'd hurt you plenty enough already." 

"Well... yeah, I got hurt! I did get hurt! I hurt you and you hurt me but..." Hinata trailed off, not knowing where else to go. 

"There's only one way to escape pain, that's why I'm perfectly willing to sacrifice myself for hope's sake, no for your sake-" 

"If you want to help me, then just stay by my side!" Hinata's rage finally hit a boiling point and he pulled hard on the chain that was linking them, pulling Komaeda right into his fist and knocking the other back a few paces.   
  
"Ow, Hinata-kun."  
  
"Does that hurt?"  
  
"Yes, obviously."  
  
"Does it still hurt..." Hinata said after a little while.  
  
"Not as much."  
  
"You can get over pain you know. If we keep working on it we can get to a point where we stop hurting each other as much."   
  
"I understand, Hinata-kun but still.... An eye for an eye."  Komaeda brought his head up and hit Hinata upside the jaw. Hinata stumbled backwards pulling the chain tight beween them. "I wasn't... I wasn't laughing at Nanami's death. You don't understand, you didn't understand m-me...No, no that part doesn't matter... You don't understand that hope always wins."  
  
“I was trying to help Pekoyama, I was sad about Fuyuhiko and Chiaki and then you started with the 'You should have killed me' crap. I hate when you say that." Just then. He saw for a moment Hajime’s fist flying towards him, it reflected in his eyes. Them, slammed into the upper part of his face.  
  
“But it's true, nobody cares if trash like me is thrown out! As I said before an eye for an eye…I’m a lot stronger than I look you know. I”ve endured, being hit a lot more times than this...”  He spun around and kicked the other, knocking his legs out from under him.  
  
Chains clattered in the background, as the two boys pushed each other away and pulled themselves closer again and again. Blows bounced off each other, again and again, the heat between them and the blood pressure rising.  
  
Until they were both gripping each other by their shirts, lifting enough that the stomachs of both boys were exposed. Komaeda’s eyes drifted down a bit to see Hinata was quite well built like he thought, before looking up once more.  
  
“This isn't working. I don't feel like we're making any progress..."  
  
“I told you we'd just hurt each other...."  Komaeda said. Those words were meant to drive Hajime further away. Which is why, what happened next was entirely unexpected to him.  
  
“No, we gotta keep trying. There has to be some other way...I want to understand you but it's like you're always in some far off place... I just want...to reach you." Perhaps it was just his blood boiling in his ears, or perhaps Hajime was secretly some kind of masochist after all this time. However, at that moment Hinata Hajime pulled Komaeda closer and Komaeda saw Hinata’s face approach him, and reflect back in his eyes the same way his fist had. He also saw, himself, his reflection in Hinata’s eyes.  
  
The net moment, their lips were touching. It was an amateurish and rushed kiss, that clearly was not thought out all the way through. Yet, it was the first time he had ever been kissed before.For someone who had been fighting him a few moments ago it was unexpectedly soft.  
  
Then, Komaeda’s brain rebooted and he realized what was happening. He drew back looking at the panting, red faced Hajime. He realized, he admitted to himself, for one he had absolutely no idea what to do with this situation, and almost no control over it.

 _Just, follow your instincts. Do what comes natural.  
_ _  
_ Komaeda Nagito undid the lock around his wrist, threw off the chain, and ran away.

_Instincts bad._

He left Hinata standing there. Hinata fell back and sat on the bed, still breathing heavy, mind completely blank as well. Well, more blank than usual at least.

 

 ♛

 

Komaeda as he was running across the beach with no particular destination in mind, experienced a turn of bad luck. As the wheel of fortune spun it landed on the person he least wanted to see in the entire world at this moment.

『Nagito-chan, have you seen Mikan-chan around?』Kumagawa casually turned around as they crossed paths, and looked around with his wide eyes poking at his cheek with his finger.

Komaeda however kept his head turned, not wanting to let Kumagawa see his face. “Don’t you have a brat to keep entertained?”

『Oh, Junko? I left her with Mukuro-chan.』  
  
“I haven’t seen Tsumiki-san anywher, so this has nothing to do with me.” He tried to leave again, only for Kumagawa to suddenly grab his arm and pull him back.  
  
『What’s wrong?』  
  
“I hate how you’re like that…”

『Like what?』

“You’re supposed to be like me, you’re supposed to be hated like me but you always empathize with others like that.” Komaeda’s face shown to Kumagawa in that moment, had tears welling out of the corners of his eyes. He had not cried at all since Zenkichi’s mother wasted kindness on himself, and let him dump his sick emotions all over her. He had resolved not to cry in this killing game, no matter how much despair he felt, because he was not a person who deserved to cry. Yet, he had left tears come to his eyes over something so simple as a show of affection.

『It’s nothing special about my character, it’s because I always wear my pain on my sleeve, and you hide yours Nagito-chan. I just desperately, desperately want to be by those people, so I'm always trying to say things that will make them stay around. You distance yourself from others, so it makes sense you say things that drive them away. 』

“No... it's different... I can't make myself say the things I want to say. You can just say whatever you want, it's different. The wiring in our brains is different... or... I dunno... Don’t talk like you understand me when I can't even understand me.”

『You just said we’re alike.』

“We should be alike, but we’re not… do you understand how I feel… always falling short of a person like you?”

『Huh? What are you talking about? I’m worse than everybody there’s no way you could fall short of a person like me-』

“Shut up! You know that’s not true! Quit it with the false humility crap, I literally wrote that book. This isn’t how it was supposed to go! You weren’t supposed to defeat Junko! If I wasn’t able to do it, then why could you? When I failed to kill Junko. When I was diagnosed with cancer. When I was kidnapped by a serial murderer. When my parents died in that plane crash. When my dog was hit by that truck. My story should have ended then, but it keeps going on, keeps becoming more wretched. By the time it finally concludes, it’ll be a story hated by everybody.”

Kumagawa’s hand tightened around his.『Nagito-chan. No matter how much this story is hated by some, it is precious to me. Even if, your story ending earlier would have made a lot more people happy, I like the story that allowed us to meet.』

“I don’t understand you, I really don’t understand you at all.” Komaeda repeated the phrase that Hinata told him, so many times.

『Nagito-chan, I’ve been through so much worse than you, but here I am. Still smiling in the worst of it.』  
  
“That’s what I can’t understand... Why… you…” Komaeda’s eyes closed. “You and Junko, you’re oddly suited for each other. She’s probably the only person who could stand being around you without being destroyed by your bad luck. Why did you find somebody like that but not me?”

『Huh? Are you just upset because of relationship stuff? I thought you were having a deep existential crisis.』  
  
“That too.”

『Well, let’s talk about the existential stuff first that seems more important than the relationship stuff.』Kumagawa said, before clapping his hands on Komaeda’s cheek. 『I don’t know what the answer is, but I don’t think you were wrong. If telling yourself that hope is waiting for you is enough to get you to keep living, then why don’t you just keep doing that?』  
  
“I can’t…”

『You’ve been living that way all this time, haven’t you?』

“I literally haven’t! I was dying! It’s so easy for you to spout the ‘let’s live, keep on living’ crap when you’re technically immortal!”

『Eh, but you’re not dying. I made it so your degenerative disease was nothing.』  
  
“So what? Even if you get rid of that, something worse is going to come! It always does! It always, always, always… get’s worse…and I’ve done too many terrible things by this point. If you knew, if you knew the truth you wouldn’t tell me to keep living.” Komaeda slowly crumpled, just like Kumagawa warned him. He really was a stepping stone that would crumble away the moment anybody put any weight on him.

『Yes I did.』Kumagawa smiled. 『If you did terrible things you just need to be punished.』

“Punishment? Like an execution?”

『No, Junko, I mean Monokuma doesn’t understand what punishment is at all. You said it yourself, it’ll always get worse for you. Life itself is a punishment! So, if you want to be punished for what you’ve done, then keep living your miserable and pathetic life.』  
  
Komaeda pushed Kumagawa away in that moment. “Even though you say that… I still feel like I’m going to die, sooner or later.”

At that, Kumagawa’s eyes started to water. 『You can hate me and betray me as much as you want, but please don’t die, Nagito-chan. I don’t want you to die at all.』  
  
As he saw the emotion across the other boy’s face, those genuine tears that were not a lie Komaeda simply stared. “I truly do not understand you…”

 

 ♛

 

Komaeda showed up on Hinata’s doorstep a few minutes later. He knocked, and then awkwardly announced himself because he could not think of what else to do. “Hello, Komaeda here.”

“Oh, you’re back.” Hinata averted his eyes just as Komaeda expected he would. “What, did you get bored because the killing game did not restart in the twenty minutes that you were gone?”  
  
“No… I wanted to keep talking to you.”  
  
“Then why did you run in the opposite direction?”  
  
“I often do things differently than what I want… but I…” He took a deep breath and then walked back out the door and sat on the edge of Hinata’s dock. He did not know what to say, so he simply blurted it out. “Feelings! Talk feelings yours now let’s....”  
  
“We were supposed to talk about your feelings.”  
  
“My feelings are very complicated and hard to express so I need to think about them a little longer before I vocalize.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“I need to dumb it down for you.”  
  
“Hey!”  Hianata hovered in the doorway for a minute. Slowly he approached. “Hey… can I lay down. My head is starting to hurt again…”  
  
“Sure. Whatever you need, Hinata-kun.” Komaeda said, not expecting what came next as well. Suddenly, Hinata had rested his head in his lap. Komaeda’s entire body froze, as he told himself not to get excited. He was just being a support for Hinata in this moment, he could not let his thoughts race at all.  
  
Komaeda reached forward and put a trembling hand on the top of Hinata’s head. “Why… why did you jump into the water, can you tell me… please…”  
  
“I haven’t slept in days, ever since Monokuma started telling me about the reserve course. I was worried… that I wasn’t really somebody who deserved to be here so I started having nightmares about it. Until I stopped sleeping entirely, and saw them while I was awake.”  
  
“Oh… that’s happened to me before. Seeing things that aren’t there. I’m sure it’s just all your worries, Hinata-kun.”  
  
“What if it’s not… what if the reason I don’t remember having a talent is because I don’t have one?”  
  
That question hung in the air between them, but Komaeda simply smiled down at Hinata. “You have one for sure, I know you do, because I can sense these things about people you know.”

“Am I supposed to believe in your senses? That’s a stretch coming from a guy who barely has any sense.”  
  
“Then, you can believe in my luck. I consider myself lucky to have met you, so that means you must be an incredible person.”  
  
“Your luck can’t be that incredible.”  
  
Komaeda closed his eyes and smiled like a cat down at Hinata. Komaeda once told him that he was the Ultimate Serenity, but serenity was what Hinata felt inside of him, warmly buzzing as he looked at that face. “Yes, it can be.” Komaeda said, completely confident for once.  
  
Behind his head the stars stretched out infinitely. Hinata had always looked at the sky and felt insignificant. The idea that there was an unlimited amount of stars in the sky, and in the face of them he was so small did little to reassure himself of his place in things.  
  
The sky would never respond to him no matter what he did. The stars were fixed. He was so desperate to change himself, that he hated fixed, immutable things. Others read things into the stars, they saw the motions of the skies, but Hinata saw nothing at all.  
  
After all it was called space right? Then it was just an ever expanding, empty, void. He hated the feeling of nothingness.He hated looking up and seeing nothing at all in the sky above him, even in a sky dotted with a million brilliant lights.  
  
Yet in that moment, the stars that were always fixed change. One of the stars fell from above, streaking across the sky. Hinata realized after a moment that that was not a star, but rather the falling light was a meteorite. Several other falling lights joined them at this moment.  
  
Komaeda, who wanted to show that boy something so desperately, to show him light, finally saw a show of dancing lights in the sky, with a boy who looked utterly insignificant, like a boy you could find anywhere laying down in his lap.  
  
“No way… how did that happen?” HInata said, eyes widening and catching the sparkling of the skies in the reflection of his eyes.   
  
“Well you see several objects enter earth’s atmosphere-” Komaeda began to explain.   
  
“I know what a meteor shower is, I mean how is this happening right now!?” Hinata snapped back at him.  
  
“Perhaps it’s for you to make a wish on as to what your talent might be, or maybe I just wanted to see something pretty, or perhaps it's just a coincidence. As a quirk of probability, I see meteor showers like this all the time."  
  
“Yeah… it’s pretty…”  
  
Hinata’s eyes traveled down as he saw inata curled up, relaxing in his lap. “It certainly is…” His voice murmured, dreamlike.  
  
In the distance, Kumagawa Misogi was struck in the head by one of the falling meteorites that was about the size of a fist. However, due to his misfortune this collision only resulted in a light bruise and he continued living his miserable life. 


	20. The Shadow At Your Feet (5 - Older Sister x Younger Sister)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mukuro and Naze are in this one.

Snow fell from the sky, uneven, drifting endlessly. She always hated snow.  
   
There were lots of metaphorical reasons to hate snow for what it represented of course, unlike her sister Mukuro never found falling things interesting to watch. However, her reason for hating snow was rather petty.  
  
Whenever it snows…  
She was reminded of those days.  
The day her sister was born.  
The day they ran away together.  
And, the day she lost her sister for good.  
  
The day her sister hated the most was december 24th after all, a day it was guaranteed to be snowing. Mukuro had no pleasant memories at all associated with the snow.  
  
She stared at the snow for a moment, once again distracted by staring outside the windows in the hallway and not paying attention to the reality around her. She had been called to the classroom on December 24th even though they were supposed to be going on break soon. She had no idea what for, but it was better to keep her head down and away from notice then to question it.  
  
She stopped staring out the window and moved to the door. Her hand reached out and pulled the door open. Mukuro was so out of tune with reality that she did not even notice the whispers behind the door. If she was paying attention with her usual sharp senses she might have suspected an ambush and avoided the room entirely. Cluelessly, the girl who barely paid attention to this world pulled the door open and suddenly heard a pop.

 _Oh, it’s a bomb. Junko must have set a trap for me here, or we’ve been found out. Either way, I’m dead._ _  
_

She thought for a moment as she froze. However, her eyes widened taking in an unfamiliar sight. That pop was followed by several more pops, as the three who had been waiting for her behind the door pulled on confetti poppers. The only shrapnel that flew into the air was pieces of colored paper. Mukuro’s eyes widened further, her freckled cheeks reddening slightly, her mouth falling open as she could not comprehend this sight.  
  
『Happy birthday!』Kumagawa Misogi said, smiling at her like usual. 『They put me in charge of the cake but I think I screwed it up, sorry, but it’s not my fault.』Kumagawa was holding onto a brown misshapen looking monstrosity on a pan, that was ticking somehow.

“Happy Birthday!” Naegi Makoto kept nervously glancing between Mukuro, and his own feet. “We should spend the rest of the day and tomorrow together! Since it’s your birthday after all! I-I know it’s really close to Christmas but that’s just a coincidence. I guess it’s lucky for me you were born that day. It’s the first ever Christmas I won’t spend alone, haha. Wait, does that make me sound like a loser who’s never gotten any girls in the past? N-not that I need anybody else but you.” He was nervously muttering away as usual. Makoto always said the things Mukuro wanted to hear the most, completely effortlessly. Nobody had once said that it was lucky Mukuro was born, in fact her sister had always hated the fact they were born on December 24th.  
  
Her sister, Mukuro glanced nervously around to Junko. However, her sister had snuck up behind her and held a mistletoe pinched between her fake nail covered fingers. “Looks like I caught you in my trap, sis.”  
  
“J-Junko don’t do anything please.”

“Huh? What are you getting all whiny for. Now that you and your boytoy are under the misteltoe you’ve got to kiss in front of everybody! Your embarrassing younger sister has caught you again.”  
Mukuro saw Makoto blush, and then give in to her sister’s teasing, slowly leaning in for a kiss. However, the happy scene was enough to make Mukuro finally hesitate. She realized that this scene was not real. The Mukuro of this scene was not herself, rather she was from the outside looking in.  
  
It was like the happy scene in front of her was a painting she was staring at.

Mukuro was quite used to nightmares. Devoting her life to despair for the past ten years, her eyes had become rather dull watching countless nightmares unfold in front of her again and again, all orchestrated by her and her sister’s blood drenched hands. When she woke up after those dreams, filled with reminders of what she had witnessed, and what she had done in the past she kept the same, dull expression in her eyes.  
  
Despair was the reality for her, the norm, it was what she expected. They say those at war adjusted their minds, their brains chemically changed so they would always feel like they were at war. She was always fighting, to spread her sister’s despair, alone with the military group Fenris, and now in this killing game to protect her sister from the death she had witnessed in reality. Mukuro’s heart and mind were both like that, they had grown so used to conflict they had chemically adjusted, all either of them knew was conflict.  
  
That was why, the dreams that haunted her the most were of the things she never knew. A scene of a happy family.  
  
A sister who did not regret the day she was born. Her sister still had her face, but for once the smile on her face was genuine. Her energetic, bright and cheery attitude was not fake. She was still pushy and rude as ever, but always in a well meaning way. She teased her like a normal sister would.

This was not the reality though, it was an idealized version of it, the kind that would be looked at through a painting. Mukuro turned her head and saw a row of paintings extending away from her like she was standing in a corridor in an art museum. She had had this dream plenty of times in the past after all, it was the wish that kept haunting her.  
  
A happy family, one she never had.  
A new family, a makeshift one, one she was never able to find.  
The happiness of her three most precious people, something she was never able to protect.  
She watched the Mukuro inside of that image from a third person perspective. It was like she was staring at that dream through a portrait. She could only watch passively, as the other Mukuro experienced the things she never experienced.  
She hated it.    
  
There was no way she could enjoy something like this, knowing it all was a fake. There was no way she could feel love from a fake sister who wore Junko’s face but did not act like her sister at all. The sister she understood more than anybody else in the world.  
  
She was quite used to nightmares, but happy dreams of peaceful days she never had experienced before, and never would have, troubled her deeply when she woke up for them.  
She knew war, but did not know peace. She knew fighting, but did not know friendship. Fundamentally, that was how Mukuro’s brain was wired. That was how Mukuro’s brain was weird.

She woke up early that morning feeling bitter. Her habit to stare out windows and remove herself from situations had gotten so bad, she was even a passive actor in her own dreams. Her roommate who also had a habit of waking up as early as she did, noticed that Mukuro’s usually emotionless face was drawn into a scowl.  
  
“Did you have a bad dream?”

Actually her dream was quite happy, but Mukuro turned her head away. “Yes, a nightmare.” She did not want to think of hat dream anymore, she was good at denying herself at least. She had done so for ten years in order to serve Junko, to the point where she had forgotten almost everything of what it was meant to be human. “Pekoyama, are you going to stay in this cabin all day again?”

“Uh... “ Pekoyama was taken off guard slightly by the authority that Mukuro spoke with. “I’m not ready to face the others yet… they’ll probably ask me, why the young master died, and his useless hitman was the one to survive.”  
  
“Then, we should go out right now. It’s early so we can jog around the island without running into anybody.” Mukuro looked back her eyes looking strict. “You don’t want to fall behind on your training, do you? Swordswoman?”

 ♛

  
As she ran across the beach, Mukuro kicked up a ton of sand behind her. This was because she was wearing heavy duty boots that sunk into the sand as she ran, making running twice as hard. However, the inconvenience barely registered to her. In fact Ikusaba Mukuro was having fun. Her inner Military Otaku said, _I’m running on a beach, I really am training just like the Navy SEALS do._

It was the first time in awhile that Mukuro actually ran faster than a job during one of her morning runs though, as the girl running next to her was actually keeping up. _This is the first time I’ve ever trained with somebody who wasn’t slower than me._ Mukuro thought, as she recalled the times that both Kumagawa and Makoto tried to follow her on her morning runs only to fall far behind. _I love them, but those boys sure are incompetent._

As Pekoyama ran next to her, the two of them leaving two parallel trails of footprints in the beach as a result of their morning run the two of them kept glancing back at one another. It took Mukuro a moment to notice the silence. _Wait… is this awkward? I’m the one who dragged her on this morning run should I start a conversation?_

Mukuro had taken responsibility for trying to guide Pekoyama out of her hopeless state, but it was not like Mukuro herself understood hope, or even how to guide anybody. It was a case of the blind leading the blind, but still she had to try. “Wh… what was it like, with Kuzuryuu-san?”

“I was his tool, if he needed a shield I would jump in to protect him. There were several times he was dragged into his parent's careless fighting, he was kidnapped because of his family name when he was young, and there were fights that he started himself. I was always by his side for those. There were times in the past he told me to kill as well.”

 _It sounds like my relationship to Junko._ Mukuro observed. Since she was young, she had always worked hard, in service to her sister’s despair. She prided herself on being somebody her sister needed. Her want to be needed allowed her to easily be made into a tool.  
  
“Yet… despite being a yakuza… the young master had a kind heart. He questioned his position, and constantly worried about me. He told me to make friends with others, and to stop calling myself his tool. He had difficulty, relying on others, and sacrificing others just to escape and survive. I was always by his side, since we were children, so a tool like me could understand him that way.. Even in the end, I would have gladly allowed him to sacrifice me and everybody else to escape this island when he was blackened… but that was my selfishness… my young master was unable to bring himself to do that.”

 _That’s nothing at all like my relationship to Junko at all._ Mukuro thought, in stunned surprise. Enoshima Junko was somebody who would sacrifice everybody and anybody for the cause of despair, even her own twin sister. Junko and Mukuro had always been together as well, but they had never really understood each other, they never really talked in a way outside the way that despair sisters talked and relied upon one another.

Without thinking she asked. “Do you have… any happy memories with Kuzryuu-san.”  
  
At that moment Pekoyama’s expression of grief softened lightly, and she started to speak again. “I have far more happy memories with him then someone like me deserves. One time in the past, he challenged the Monkey King at the zoo to the fight… and I was drawn into the conflict…” As they ran, Pekoyama continued her stories, but Mukuro stopped listening.  
  
She was instead, dwelling on her own memories with Junko. Her sister was everything to her after all, her entire life’s story was contained in the moment she spent with her sister.

 _“Junko, I don’t want to go live on the streets.”_ _  
_ _“The peaceful life we live with mom and dad is so boring though. Do you really think you’ll get stronger by living in a cushy house and going to school every day?”_ _  
_ _“Why do I need to get stronger? I’m only five years old.”_ _  
_ _“Well, I’m going to go whether you follow me or not. If you really hate your sister that much that you don’t care she’ll be killed and dismembered by a bunch of homeless people on the streets then I guess you’re a more worthless older sister than I thought.”_ _  
_ _“I-I don’t want that to happen.”_ _  
_ _“Besides, you’re always bugging me to play with you. When I finally offer, you suddenly don’t want to. Snice when did you turn into a miss fussy pants.”_ _  
_ _“W-we’ll get to play? Okay, Junko let’s go play out on the streets. I’ll never let anything touch you, so we can keep playing as long as you want.”_

 _  
_ _“Junko, I don’t get it. These kittens didn’t do anything why do you want me to kill them so bad?”_ _  
_ _“You want to get strong enough to kill people right, Mukuro? Then somebody useless like you has to start small and work her way up. I’ve researched and apparently all the good serial killers start with helpless animals when they’re young. We’ve got to deaden your emotions quickly so you don’t develop any empathy past this stage in life.”_ _  
_ _“Junko I’m only six years old I have no idea what you’re saying.”_ _  
_ _“God, you’re dumb. You don’t have to understand just do what I say, okay?”_ _  
_ _“All right. If that’s what you want, but once we’re done can we play for a little bit?”_ _  
_ _“...Fine.”_ _  
_ _“Aw great, then I’ll find lots of cats to kill.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Why are you making me read all these books, Junko.”_ _  
_ _“Knowledge expands horizons and enriches existence.”_ _  
_ _“But we’re only seven years old, and this is nietzsche. Can’t we read something else?”_ _  
_ _“How are you going to be able to read it later if you grow up with such an empty head, Mukuro?”_ _  
_ _“Hmm, I guess. Hey, so…”_ _  
_ _“Yes?”_ _  
_ _“According to this book over here the Kanji for my name means death. And my last name means battlefield. Isn’t it weird we have two different names? Your name means, Island, and Shield. I think I like your name better.”_ _  
_ _“Don’t steal my name, Mukuro. The name game is a basic device, I can’t believe you can’t wrap your head around it. It’ll come in handy later. Besides, your name is so ugly it fills me with despair. You should be proud of it.”_ _  
_ _“Huh. Well if that’s what you think then I’m fine with it.”_ _  
_ _“Glad to hear it.”_ _  
_ _“Ummm…”_ _  
_ _“I’m surprised that you can come up with this many questions given how limited your brainpower is.”_ _  
_ _“Sorry, it’s just… how will anybody know we’re sisters if we have two different names?”_ _  
_ _“It’s better if nobody knows we’re sisters, then I don’t have to be associated with you. One look is enough to see that we’re different. I can’t let anybody think we’re even remotely similiar.”_ _  
_ _“But when we’re sitting next to each other like this both reading we look like twins.”_ _  
_ _“Uggggh.. That gave me goosebumps all over! Will you shut up already?”_ _  
_ _“Umm…”_ _  
_ _“What else could it possibly be?”_ _  
_ _“When we’re done reading, can we go out and play? I’m sure it’ll be tons of fun.”_ _  
_ _“All right, but only after we’re finished.”_ _  
_ _“Really? Then I’ll try extra hard to finish this. Extra extra hard.”_ _  
_ _“You do that.”_

Nope, no matter how hard she tried to think she could not come up with a single happy memory between her and her sister. Even when they were young, as far as Mukuro knew Junko had been like that since she was born. Rather than growing up, even as a child she talked and functioned like a mini adult, though she hid her hand and only showed herself in front of her sister. Junko claimed that she wailed in despair from the moment she was born, and as far as Mukuro knew that was completely true.  
  
If her life was contained in her happy memories with her sister though, what did that mean for ehr? Unlike Pekoyama that meant for her… she did not have a single happy memory. Mukuro looked at the sand again as the two of them ran together. “You…” She spoke up interrupted Pekoyama’s story. “You have lots of beautiful memories, with Fuyuhiko-san. So, why do you look so sad right now when you’re talking about them. Is it because… those beautiful memories have come to an end?”  
  
Mukuro tried to repress her bitterness. She tried not to think, _at least you had beautiful memories, even if they came to an end._

“No… missing the young master… surely, I’m unworthy of that feeling. As I’m only a tool.”

“Pekoyama-san. The relationship you described to me, the memories you told me about, that doesn’t sound like the way a tool is treated. I’m sure… your young master saw you as his one and only family.”

“Ikusaba-san.” Pekoyama stopped running right there.

Mukuro did not notice at first, and jogged a few steps ahead before turning on a heel to face her. “Huh…?”

“You really do say some cruel things, without any hesitation at all.”

“I…” _I was saying that to be kind… I really don’t know how this works do I._ “Why do you think that?”

“I’m somebody unworthy  to be called the young master’s family.”

“Why?”

“In that moment he grabbed my sword. The sword that I was supposed to use for his sake, and he became blackened in my stead. If I had grabbed that sword one second earlier, if I had acted like a tool in my master’s place, then he would still be alive.”  
  
“But then… you’d be dead.”

“That’s fine, because a useless tool should not have outlived her master anyway.”  
  
Mukuro hesitated for a moment. She could not imagine a world without Junko. She knew, in her memories Junko had disappeared to some far off place falling into a river and never waking up not even for her,  and she herself was content risking this killing game just to see her sister again. Yet, she wondered again what it would be like to be in Pekoyama’s shoes. Would she still be able to live, even if she did not have her sister there? What if she had nobody at all, neither Makoto nor Kumagawa. What would she live on for?  
  
Or could she truly only cling to others….  
  
Mukruro’s hands tightened into a fist as she tried to resist that thought. “Pekoyama-san. If you had a subordinate who failed you in a mission, would you kill them on the spot for their uselessness?”  
  
“No… that would be unnecessary.”

“What if they were always failing you. Would you have them executed for their uselessness?”

“No… If they were to die, they’d lose all their chances to improve.”  
  
“Then, why do you insist the same for yourself? If you wouldn’t kill someobdy else for being useless, then why do you insist you have to die? Try… judging yourself by the standards you use for everybody else.” Mukuro looked into Pekoyama’s eyes, which was rare for her as she was always avoiding looking directly at others. She saw the tears that were already in the corners of her eyes, underneath her glasess. _That’s no good, don’t cry. Our archetype is the emotionless girl you know._ Mukuro put a hand on her heart, as Junko had said many times her chest was flat but beyond that it was also empty feeling. She wondered if she knocked too hard on her ribs if she would hear an echoing sound. “Pekoyama-san… I think, unlike me who is missing that essential component, for a tool you also have a kind heart. If you can show that kindness to others you can show it to yourself as well.”

“H… how can you say something like that? To a failure like me?”

“I’m sure your young master cared about you even when you failed him.”  
  
“There’s no way… because I only existed to be useful to the young master. If he cared about me in spite of my uselessness, that was just his kindness, his pity… I wasn’t able to make him happy in the end.”  
  
“There’s somebody I know whose always failing...” She thought of Kumagawa’s back in that moment. Kumagawa failed to save her sister when she fell into that river. He was always failing, and yet still in the middle of this death game he kept trying. Even when it made all the work he had done to stop Junko from ever starting in the death game seem pointless, even when all it did was hurt him he kept going. To Mukuro that back was remarkably strong. She wondered what it would be like, if she had met Kumagawa when he was younger. If they played together all day, and then when she got tired, or maybe even she hurt her ankle, he would carry her home on that strong back of his like a brother was supposed to. “He’s the most useless guy of them all, he’ll never be happy himself, and he certainly won’t make me happy but I can still care for him.”  
  
Pekoyama thought for a moment. She tried to think of somebody useless, and one image came to mind. Hajime Hinata’s smiling face, he was oblivious to who she really was, he did not seem to understand others that well, and he did not seem that capable of anything. Yet, that person kept coming around to find her. He kept trying with her, and kept talking with her. Until she had just accepted that he was going to stay by her side. “Yes there is… a useless guy that I can’t help but like too…I...I’ve lost it haven’t I? I’ve lost my only family…”  
  
Pekoyama collapsed on the beach in tears again, and Mukuro did not know what to do, so she merely lifted her over her shoulder like a fallen soldier and carried her the rest of the way back to their cabin in silence. Mukuro was sure, if somebody else had been there they would have said something more comforting, but that was the best someone like her was capable of.

 

 ♛

  
Mukuro had been asked by Kumagawa to watch her sister again and prevent her from harming herself. She made her way to the hospital after leaving Pekoyama alone, but as she walked in she stumbled upon a scene that she surely was not meant to see. She waited in the doorway, eavesdropping on accident as she did not know how to navigate stumbling upon a private conversation.  
  
The two sisters were sitting there. Kurokami Medaka and Kurokami Kujira, known to everybody else as Naze Youka. In the past, Mukuro had resented Naze for being a poor older sibling and throwing her memories of her family away as unnecessary things, when they were everything to Mukuro. She tried to bury that resentment though, as it had not gotten her anything last time.  
  
Naze scratched at the bandages at her head. “Kurokami…” She began before hesitating. “You cut your hair, Kurokami.” That was not what she had intended to say at all.  
  
“Yes, I had a change of mood.” Kurokami Medaka said, casually leaning against the wall. She had never seen the other girl who walked and carried herself like a lion at all times look so casual. Even Naze her older sister had never seen her sister look so casually like that. “I wanted to be the person everybody could rely on on this island, but at this hospital you’re much more reliable than me. Please support Zenkichi well as he recovers.”  
  
“Kurokami… About the time during the second semester… Well, you see… To you and Hitoyoshi…” Her fingers would not stop scratching at her bandages, it was like an old wound she refused to stop picking at but there was no such wounds on her face. _Dang, I can’t apologize… So uncool… I just keep stalling._ Suddenly, she turned around hand still on her head. “It’s nothing…” _I’m no good at these kinds of things._ “If you’re going to be by yourself for the rest of the day please stay safe.” _What is the runaway me doing, trying to act like an older sister now…_ _  
_

As she turned around and tried to quickly leave to check on Zenkichi again, who was still recovering from his own blood transfusion which had been given a day later than Enoshima Junko’s, she was suddenly caught with her sister’s arms around her. Kurokami Medaka had the strength to lift Naze up over her head, and suplex her in an instant if she really wanted to. She could finish anybody in one blow. She could probably even break ribs just by squeezing slightly tighter than normal. Yet, the way she held onto her older sister was so gentle, it gave even Naze pause. “.... Kurokami?”  
  
“I already know, big sister. Don’t apologize since I… I only have thoughts of gratittude towards you.

Kurokami turned around to see her sister’s smiling face. The same kind expression she had been so nervous about seeing, she nearly scratched her scalp until it bled.

At that exact moment, Ikusaba Mukuro too saw the kindness on the face of a younger sister she had neer seen before.

“If you still feel guilty about this then how about you, like you did in the past, call me Medaka-chan.” As she closed her eyes, her expression was one of complete sincerity.  
  
Kurokami Kujira sighed. _I never once called you by your first name in the past. You… desire to be acknowledged by your older sister that much… you’ve learned to lie about these sort of things._

It was just a sweet moment between sisters that were once distant, that Mukuro stumbled upon. However, try as hard as she might she could not witness the scene in front of her as if it were real. She saw a portrait appear around those two again. She was still, merely staring at a portrait that she could never be part of.  
  
A happy, idealized reality that passed by in front of her. One she could only watch pasively from the outside world. One who observed art at a museum, or stared at a happy photo of the past could only admire the photo or perhaps the memory attached to it, they could never be a part of what was depicted inside of the photo.

 _Those two sisters really understand each other…_ _  
_ Mukuro thought, it was an incredibly sweet scene to bear witness to, but icy fingers gripped her heart as she felt herself feeling nothing but bitterness again.  
_This is what I can never have._ _  
_ She could not help but think that way, as she hesitated in the door.

Kurokami Medaka walked out, and she was left alone with Naze Youka. Naze looked up through the one eye visible underneath her bandages. “Oh, sorry did you see that? It’s kind of embarrassing…”

“You should just call her by name…she’s your younger sister after all.” Ikusaba Mukuro said with a forced smile, that must have seemed unpleasant to the other girl watching her face.  
  
“I don’t know if I have the right yet… I’m her older sister and yet, when my sister was supposed to be free and learn about herself, instead she got trapped on this terrible island, and I wasn’t able to do a thing for her. She’s supposed to grow up, guided by her older siblings, but… she still acts like that little kid who always used to bother me while I was studying to play, desperate for my attention.”  
  
“I see… but, you probably don’t need to earn the right to be her older sister, right?”

“I don’t know… What is it that connects family? Is it name, because I already threw the Kurokami name away? Is it shared memories, because I threw those away too. I threw, a lot of unnecessary things away and became less of a human being for it.”  
  
“B..blood, you were born first as her sister after all right?”

“Even that connection is weak between us. My father has seven wives, and each of his three children has a different mother. We’re only half siblings technically and though she’s the youngest all of the responsibility for being the heir has fallen on her head due to being the most perfect result of the Kurokami breeding style.”

 _Ah… how complicated. She’s actually, a lot farther away as sisters then even Junko and I… Yet somehow they seem so much more like real sisters than Junko and I who were born as twins and always by each other’s side._ “You… you seem really close. I’m sure… there’s something that connects you.”  
  
“What would that something be then?”  
  
“I… I’m not good at talking sorry, but if I had to say… I guess it’s… something real.” After that, Mukuro bowed her head timidly and excused herself from the conversation.  
  
As always, Naze Youka was a bit stunned to see the other girl display such a shift in personality. She seemed almost nothing like the young girl who she had once fought, who had nearly killed her.

 

 ♛

 

“What’s up, doc?” Enoshima Junko said with a delighted expression on her face, as Naze Youka came to check on her. At Kumagawa’s request, Naze had switched to supervising Junko, and Mikan was now watching over Zenkichi.

“That’s oddly fitting for you to say, since mentally you seem to be some kind of looney tune…” Naze said, not buying into Junko’s upbeat and cheerful act at all. She had already seen a glimpse of the girl’s real personality during the middle of the student council battle arc. Somehow within a few minutes of conversation, she was able to leave Naze Youka who had participated in the flaks plan willing and experimented on countless people, seen countless miserable things in her pursuit of something brilliant, shaking with despair.  
  
Enoshima Junko had the same talent Kumagawa Misogi did. They were both able to drag others into despair completely effortlessly. However, Naze noted there were different reasons for this. Kumagawa merely wanted to reduce people down to his level, seeing himself as inferior to them. Enoshima Junko had no reason at all, no intensely personal motivation, she just liked to watch people fall.

“So what are you here for doc? You know, if you wanted to remove a troublesome element from your game you could pretty easily give me a lethal injection. I know how you could frame Mikan for it too-” Suddenly, Enoshima Junko’s usual taunts were cut off.  
  
“Okay, sounds good.” Naze Youka said, before quickly drawing a needle and pointing it towards her face.  
  
An injection was given right into the corner of her eye. Any normal person would have been been horrified by this scene, straight out of a cheesy b movie with a haunted hospital and a sadistic docotr. However, Enoshima’s reaction was much more tame, just a slightly surprised… “Huh?” As if to say, _that was easier than I thought._

“If you’re going to be annoying than I’ll just sedate you. I’m not a kind older sister like my brother, or that foolish twin sister of yours. I don’t have to put up with your attitude.”

As the contents of the needle was injected straight into the mucous membrane of her eye, and then the needle swiftly removed Enoshima Junko felt a wave of tiredness sweep over her. Moving her body, even sitting up, for doing something as simple as speaking became increasingly difficult. Under such sedation most, people would just give up. Enoshima Junko however had a mind that never gave up even when she wanted it to, it was already trying to figure out how to adapt to the sedation, how to still move even in this state. “A-wah-ahhh-Ah--I got it. Whoa, that really makes talking difficult, my tongue feels super heavy right now.”

“Then maybe you should just stop talking and take a nap so I can finish your checkup in peace.”  
  
“Huh? There’s no way I could do that. I’m an iconic character of this franchise you know. Everything I say is basically gold. If I stopped talking, I’d disappoint my fans.”  
  
“I have literally no idea what you’re saying, but being around you is as headache inducing as being around Ajimu Najimi when she goes on one of her meta rants.”

“No way, I’m nothing like that boring girl! I’m starting to see how we’re alike though…”

  
“Didn’t you once give me a speech on how we’re nothing alike?”  
  
“Gosh you don’t understand character foiling at all, why am I always having to explain to everyone what their character is. I’ve literally got drugs in my brain and I grasp this situation better than you.”

“I’m not like you. There’s no way I could be that annoying, even if I tried.”  
  
“No way, we’re totes alike. We’re both troublesome sisters after all. We both hate peace.”  
  
“I agree… the Kurokami family was too peaceful. That’s why I threw away the name Kurokami.”

“That must have been a hard life, you had big sister, and look where it’s led you. Being dragged into this killing game even if you had nothing to do with. Being manipulated by a mastermind you can’t comprehend. Being useless to your younger sister… You must feel like your luck is at an all time low.”

“...So…?”  
  
“In this situation, Kurokami Medaka-san must feel the same as well. This really isn’t her and Zenkichi’s genre, I can’t imagine how miserable the girl whose only way to find meaning in life was to save everyone, feels after failing to do a single thing two rounds in a row. Your sister’s absolutely miserable in this killing game.”  
  
“You think I don’t know that?”  
  
“But you’re enjoying it…”

  
“What…”  
  
“You’re smiling right now.”  
  
Naze Youka’s hand traveled to her face. Her smile was so wide, as Junko talked about her impossible situation, and the terrible danger both her and her sister had been put into, that the creases in her face showed even underneath her bandages. She was thankful for the bandages for once, because they concealed her blushing face.

Her face was almost perverted. The masochistic face of enjoying misfortune. The moment it had been brought to attention she could not deny it. “It’s so unfortunate that it feels wonderful… The world is a big place after all, there’s always more misery waiting around the corner. To think that I’d come to this terrible island, that I’d be stuck here. I haven’t been this happy since the beginning of the flask plan.”  
  
“You minuses… really have no filters on what you feel at all, huh?” Junko said, suddenly regretting leading the other girl to this conclusion just a bit. _It’s annoying. Watching somebody else enjoy themselves more than me._

An ultimate despair sought out despair obsessively. A minus always found themselves in situation of despair and forced themselves to learn to enjoy it. It seemed like the same thing, but it was quite different when one was lined up against the other.  
  
“You’re an interesting person, Enoshima Junko-san, but I wouldn’t call you a plus or a minus at all. You can drag me into despair as much as you want because I’m sure when that happens, something brilliant will be born.”  
  
Junko, of course even in her drug addled state and even annoyed slightly by how much this girl was enjoying herself immediately thought of a response. “DO you think your sister will enjoy it though? Watching you suffer that much?”

“... Shut up.” With that, just like a child whose only solution was to take their ball and go home, Kurokami Kujira left the room in a huff.

 

 ♛

  
Mukuro had finally found where Kumagwa had wandered off to. Though he was incompetent at a lot of things, he was rather good at disappearing without a trace. She hesitated in the doorway once more, realizing she had walked in on another scene that it was better for her to passively watch.  
  
Mikan was in the midst of another one of her freakouts, and Kumagawa a few steps away trying to bring her back down again as he usually did. “B-but I stabbed Hinata-kun. They’re all going to know now.”

『What are they going to know, Mikan-chan?』  
  
“They’re going to know exactly what kind of unforgivable existence I am…”

『Mikan-chan it’s fine. I told Hinata-kun to tell everyone I was the one who stabbed you.』

“Huh… but, why?”

『It’s fine if they all hate me. It’s better that way in fact. If somebody were to try to kill me, I doubt they’d be able to succeed. Endurance is my only good quality.』  
  
“Kumagawa-senpai… are you trying to get people to target you? Why?”

『It’s better that way. Listen, Mikan-chan. I don’t want you to become a killer, and  don’t want you to die either. I can’t stand the thought of either one of them. I wouldn’t be able to live with it if that happened. 』Kumagawa said as he walked forward and moved a hand towards Mikan. For a moment he wondered if it would be alright for someone like him to embrace her. He hesitated and instead, reached out and touched her lightly on the head. He hoped, his coarse and rough hands would not bother her too much.

“Kumagawa-senpai… you always say such kind things, but...I know they’re all lies.”

『Huh? Me? A liar? But I hate liars the most.』  
  
“I know… I know because I’ve been watching you closely and reading your face, and that’s how I know. The only person here you couldn’t live without is Junko.”

『...』Kumagawa hesitated, his face darkening with emotions that were even unreadable to Mikan. She had no idea what had caused this change in Kumagawa lately, what had caused him to distance himself from everybody from Junko, only that she did not like it.

Mikan escaped out of his hand, and ran out of the room past Mukuro. Kumagawa was left staring at his empty hand for a moment. Mukuro’s fingers tightened into a fist again. _I should have said something._

Then she noticed, Kumagawa looked up at something that wasn’t there.

『No...』

『How am I supposed to know what to say? All I know myself is how to endure...』

『No, Mikan-chan will be fine. She’s stronger than you think she is.』

『She’s stronger than the weak and useless minus.』

『I didn’t tell her she was a minus to make myself feel better… I really thought she’d feel accepted if she was like us...』

Mukuro of course had watched her sister carry out several full conversations with herself in the past, often even changing her voice to fulfill both parts of the conversation, but in that case she was not filled with the same uneasy feeling she felt right now.

“Misogi-chan?”  
  
Kumagawa turned around and quickly whatever expression he had been wearing with his head turned away from the world disappeared replaced with his ever present smile. 『Oh, Mukur-chan? What’s up have you come to confess your love to me?.』  
  
“Misogi-chan, when’s the last time you slept.”

『I dunno. A while ago. For someone who hates neediness and has no value for human connection, that sister of yours sure is needy.』  
  
“Misogi-chan, take a break okay?”

『It’s fine, it’s fine!  It’s not like you can die from not sleeping.』

“Umm… yes you can. Just close your eyes for a little bit okay.”

『Mukuro-chan I’m-』Kumagawa was suddenly cut off by a swift chop to his neck.  
  
“That was an order, sorry Misogi-chan.” Mukuro said as she lifted him over her shoulder and dropped him on a bed.  
  
She remembered the direction which Mikan had taken off running and quickly pursued her in that direction. Though she was not as fast as Kurokami Medaka she was still easily able to catch up with the girl and outpace her, running in front of her. She turned around and stood in front of her, only to have Mikan collide with her.  
  
“Aaaaaaaah. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to run into you!”

“It’s okay Tsumiki-san… I mean… Mikan-chan.” Mukuro tried to speak with the same familiarity Kumagawa always did. Though she found it a little bit awkward for somebody who preferred to watch passively and keep her distance. “Are you doing okay… Junko’s not giving you too much trouble is she? Wait, who am I kidding she’s probably giving you way more trouble than you can handle.”  
  
“Ahhh! No, it’s fine, it’s fine really! I’m the one whose at fault! Junko’s not doing anything wrong… Someone like her… couldn’t ever do anything wrong to me.” Mikan’s eyes, looked somewhat lost as they stared forward.  
  
“Mikan-chan. What’s wrong, you can tell me.”

“Nothing’s wrong! There’s no problem, none at all! Except with me. I’m the only one here whose at fault. It’s all my fault because I’m so useless….Junko’s in pain, and Kumagawa-senpai’s in pain, and even though I’m the ultimate nurse I can’t do a single thing.”  
  
_Useless._ That word again, the word that had stung Pekoyama, her and now Mikan so much. Pekoyama was only a tool, Mukuro a boring disappointment who was only good for killing… then she wondered what Mikan saw herself. “Mikan-chan. Why do you think you’re useless?” Mukuro said, remaining persistent in spite of Mikan’s flailing around.  
  
“Because… I’m not important to anybody.”  
  
“You’re important to Misogi-chan. He’s barely sleeping worrying over you.”

“No! I’m not his most important person, so I might as well be nothing to him. I need to be absolutely needed by somebody, I need to have them be completely dependent on me otherwise… I’m probably nothing at all to them.”

 _It really is all or nothing with this girl._ “Mikan-chan, is that what you really want?”  
  
“I… I don’t know. That’s a terrible thing to want, right? I know it is, I know I’m terrible for wanting it, but I can’t help it you know? You can’t help what you feel. It’s only natural to desire what you can never have.”

 _What you can never have…_ The words repeated in Mukuro’s empty head like an echo. “Mikan-chan I don’t think it’s wrong to be selfish… I mean in comparison, you’re a lot less self centered than my annoying sister who thinks the whole universe revolves around her. As long as you’re not the kind of person who can say ‘Wow the world really was designed to work in my favor’ without any sense of irony, I think you’re fine.”

“Huh?” Mikan sniffled. She wiped at her eyes. “I don’t know why somebody like you is going out of her way to help me… but there’s probably nothing you can do. I want to be forgiven more than anything else.” Mikan remembered her dead parents, the first people her existence cursed. They were no longer around to forgive her. “But… let’s say I was forgiven. I wouldn’t know what forgiveness even looks like.”

“Mikan-chan. Even if it’s unattainable I think it’s okay for you to strive for it.” Mukuro thought of her own dreams, of the things she would never have, of the sister who she would never have, of the sister who would never smile.  _I see this girl, her obsessive tendencies, it's a lot like my past self... or maybe my current self... I would have betrayed the whole world just to get Junko to look my way, but did I ever get what I wanted out of it?.._  “I don’t think you’re wrong, but uh…It’s not just good enough to be useful to others. Others have to be useful to you, okay? If you spend your entire relationship trying to be useful for someone… you won’t feel anything at all from it. So that’s why I think your selfishness is okay… am I phrasing that right?”  
  
Suddenly Mikan had gone quiet, which worried Mukuro slightly as Mikan was several things but quiet was not one of them. Mukuro turned around suddenly and saw the culprit. Suddenly, behind the two of them a clown had appeared to observe and laugh at their scene, Monokuma was suddenly standing there.  
  
“You’ve gotten good at this for a no good girl, you remind me of that elusive and dangerous river bear.”  
  
“Misogi-chan?

“Wow. Do all of you brainless people add anything to a conversation besides repeating back the last thing you heard in the form of a question? God what would a conversation between you and Hinata even sound like? To be a fly on the wall then. Too bad I’m too happy being a bear.”

“What are you talking about? You’re just rambling like my sister always does get to the point.”  
  
“Man, you really are a disappointment. You wouldn’t even make a good two part comedy routine with that sister of yours. Fine, I’ll cut to the point. You two both always tell others what you yourself want to hear. That self serving kindness of yours… it’s beary annoying.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“You told Pekoyama that her and Fuyuhiko were family regardless of the fact that she was a tool because that’s what you want to think about yourself. You told Naze her and her sister were still connected because that’s what you want to believe about you and your sister. You told Tsumiki it’s okay to want something you can’t have, because that’s what you want to be told.”  
  
“N… no I really thought those words would help those people.”  
  
“Listen, since you’re pretty brainless I’ll explain soemthing simple for you. Hopefully this won’t overload your two remaining brain cells. No matter how hard you try, you can’t deny who you are. I’m always going to be a cute bear, no matter how manly I secretly want to be. No matter how much you try to be a positive person for others, you can’t deny the negative things you feel.”  
  
“No…”  
  
“You were just jealous weren’t you? When you heard about Pekoyama’s happy memories, when you saw Kurokami-san be a wonderful younger sister.”

“That’d be stupid of me to get jealous over, because I know Junko’s never going to be like that.”  
  
“Yet you still want it don’t you? You’re so content to play the always suffering older sister, when really you’re using Junko too. You pushed all your desires for a normal family onto her even though you know Junko wants no part of it...incestuous bitch.”  
  
“Shut up…”  
  
“You can’t change the reality in front of you. No matter what you do you’ll never have a real family.”

“Stop saying things Junko would, you’re not her!” Mukuro reached out for an IV stand net to her. Easily she smashed it against the wall and broke off the part which the bag was meant to hang off of, leaving only a round metal cylinder with a broken off end to serve as a makeshift spear. All of the effort Mukuro was making to be positive, were undid in a moment again as she gave into her violent emotions and rushed forward, stabbing the metal pole forward like a spear.  
  
However, before she could stab into the precious and adorable fur of our beloved Monokuma and commit mascoticide, making her the most hated character in this story like she deserves to be for being such a boring and disappointing girl she instead connected with flesh.

『Cck!-Cool, do I look cool Mukuro-chan appearing out of nowhere to save the day like this?』Kumagawa said, a metal rod now sticking out of his waste. He smiled at Mukuro and blood trickled from the side of his mouth.  
  
“Kumagawa-senpai!” Mikan gasped, covering her mouth. She snapped out of her trance in an instant.

“There’s no way a River Bear like you could ever look cool. Tch! Why do you get in my way, again and again? I’m just trying to get rid of a useless minor character. Quit pretending to be a girl, Mukuro. You’re just an annoying bomb waiting to explode.” With that Monokuma disappeared as quickly as he always appeared.  
  
『You can’t attack Monokuma-chan no matter what he says, Mukuro-chan. He’ll look for any excuse to kill you.』

“Misogi-chan.”

『What?』  
  
“I just stabbed you! Be a little more concerned for yourself!”

『Huh? This is no big deal, I’ve endured worse than this before.』Kumagawa suddenly collapsed forward, caught by her. 『Damn. Collapsing just because I got stabbed a little bit, how uncool of me.』  
  
“Yeah, you’re really uncool so you should quit trying so hard…” Mukuro said as she supported him. She felt Kumagawa’s warmth, against her ice cold self, withdrawn from the world entirely and starved of contact most of her life. _I admire that part of you that always tries, but… I’m not sure how much longer you can last like this. Do you always have to throw yourself into pain like this?_

 

 ♛

 

The moment Kumagawa was patched up by Mikan (again) ( really Kumagawa injuring himself may as well be a running joke by this point as a narrator I’m surprised I haven’t capitalized on the inherent humor in this… I mean it’s funny when losers get hurt and suffer right? Why else would you guys be reading about these nerds in a killing game?) Mukuro grabbed him by the arm and pulled him away looking at him like she was about to scold him.  
  
The two of them walked back down the hallway, until they came face to face with Junko standing in the middle of it. “Oh, there you two are. Where’d you go off to anyway? Do you have a secret losers club for losers that you losers go off to.”  
  
『That’s a little bit redundant.』

“I just wanted to call you a loser a few extra times.”

『That’s what I mean, I’m well aware I’m a loser Junko it’s a pretty central part of my identity.』

“Haha, you called yourself a loser.”

“Junko,” Mukuro spoke up. “What are you doing alone in the hallway?”  
  
“Oh, I got drugged…”

『And then I got bored of being drugged.』  
  
“And then I got bored- You quit that! Predicting what other people are going to say next is mine, and Joseph Joestar’s things, not yours. So, I wanted to see if my brain could walk around while still heavily sedated.” She leaned against the wall still wearing green hospital robes. Then the next moment she pushed off. “Even though this stuff is supposed to slow down your brain I don’t feel tired at all, in fact I think I’m even more hyper now just to spite the stupid drugs. I just thought of thirty two different ways to make Monokuma the hottest brand in Shibuya.”

“Junko…”

She moved her hand for a moment, watching the way it moved clearly observing and calculating, and then adjusting herself. The next moment she took a shaky step fowrard. “Anyway, you’re going to have to speak up sis the entire world is like a laggy skype call to me right now. No that I care what you have to say but, I really hate missing out in things. In general I hate when things don’t involve me.”  
  
“Junko be careful…”

She took a few more shaky steps and then stopped suddenly. “Ah..." Her expression suddenly became quite serious. "Misogi take one step to the left.”

『Huh?』 Kumagawa was confused, but did exactly as she said shaking Mukuro off his hand and taking a step to the left.  
  
Suddenly, Junko’s legs gave out from under her and she collapsed forward. She fell on top of Kumagawa knocking them both over. Nonchalantly, she merely looked up from the pile their two bodies had created. “I needed somebody to break my fall.”

『You know you could have just asked me to catch you.』  
  
“It’s quicker to just manipulate you into breaking my fall for me.”

『You don’t have to manipulate other people into doing every single thing for you.』  
  
“Then, what are other people good for?”

Mukuro raised her voice interrupting the both of them. “Junko! What did you do to Misogi-chan, he’s acting weird again! He’s talking to himself and everything.”  
  
“Whaaaaat? Are you having a mental breakdown Misogi and I missed it? That’s like one of my favorite tropes. How am I not noticing these things?”

『...』

“Of course you didn't notice it Junko, you never pay attention to anybody but yourself. Misogi-chan’s a real person, quit treating this like it’s fake for like it's a show performed for your entertainment for like five seconds. What did you do?”  
  
“Dunno. Just threatened to kill myself a few times, I didn’t think he’d be such a baby about it.”  
  
“Oh, is that it….” Mukuro’s expression suddenly became quite serious, as she met her sister’s red eyes. It was a rare occasion her sister did not wear her makeup and contact lenses, it was almost like there was no mask on her face. “That’s fine then. MIsogi-chan you don’t need to worry. I’ll protect my sister from everybody, even from herself.”  
  
“Are you going on about that protect me thing again? I’m like so over that after you thought abandoning me to go halfway around the world and join a rag tag military group was somehow ‘protecting me’.”  
  
“Junko...Are you still mad about that?”

“Why would I be mad about that? Do you really think I’d waste the 2% of the human emotions I can normally feel on somebody worthless like you? You’re so boring you’re barely worth despairing over dear sister.”

“Okay, so you were mad about that.”  
  
“I just said I wasn’t!”

“How often do you actually mean what you say?”  
  
“Ummm… Sometimes? Like… almost never… Shut up.”

“Junko… if you didn’t like that I left you behind to join Fenrir, then you should have come with me.”  
  
“Huh? That would’ve been really boring though, what kind of idiot thinks joining a ragtag military group is fun? Oh you, you’re that kind of idiot. Only a military otaku like you-”  
  
“Junko! How do you know it would be boring you didn’t even try. If… if you want despair that badly, then once we get out of here I’ll take you to as many battlefields as you want so you can see despair and misery up close. I’ll give you as much despair as you want.”  
  
Junko’s eyes suddenly went dull. She crossed her arms holding them at the elbows as she sat up from on top of Kumagawa. The smile fell off her lips and her face became entirely neutral. “Now you’re the one saying what you don’t mean, big sister. After all you’d never give me the despair I really wanted… the Ultimate final despair.”  
  
“Junko…” Mukuro grit her teeth.  Monokuma called her a bomb earlier, and she could truly feel it in this moment. For the first time in her life, she actually managed to raise her voice against her sister. “Why do you want to kill yourself so badly here? Didn’t you get bored of it after dying the first time around?”

It took Junko a second to process what had been said, at that instant she tilted her head in light surprised again. “Huh?”

On the floor, Kumagawa finally looked up. 『Mukuro-chan come on, you were supposed to keep that a secret.』  
  
The first time she ever managed to raise her voice against her sister, and she had wasted it saying something completely stupid (in this narrator’s not even remotely humble opinion), Mukuro did not know what to say so she put a gloved hand in front of her mouth. “It wasn't my fault.”

『Hey, that's my line!』


	21. The Shadow At Your Feet (6 - Donna x Donna)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata has a cow.  
> The cow chasing scene is a small Utena and Tokyo Ghoul Joke. The song appears in both works. It's also a reference to an omake chapter from DR2.

He grew up alone, swallowing poison.  
  
Sine he was young, he willingly swallowed the poison that was offered on his plate.  
His mother was a kind person after all. He was grateful for his mother who raised him even after his father left. She was a perfect mother to him, only a little bit lonely.  
  
That was why he decided never to make her cry. He would be the perfect child and never give her reason to cry. At school he would avoid others so he would not get in fights. He went to the school nurse and hung out with her instead of making friends during free time or field trips.  
  
From a young age he understood it was other people who caused you the most pain. It was his father who hurt his mother so irreparably, so, he decided he would never come into contact with others. That way, his mother would never have to worry about him.  
  
Living like that he had no complaints. None at all. Well, except for the poison. His mother made the same meal every day. She laced it with poison to test his young body.  At least, his young brain thought so. It was more likely the food was just badly prepared, but to him it tasted like poison.

If he told his mother how much he hated the taste of the meat she served him, she would cry. So he swallowed the poison as fast as he could, and put up with it for her sake. He always finished his whole plate and showed it to her, smiling and thanking her for being such a wonderful mother. At least that way he would be spared that woman’s tears.  
  
His mother almost never touched him either, but he preferred it that way. As, when his mother touched him it was deeply unsettling. She would grab him by the face and hold him close. Her eyes became slightly deranged as she muttered, “You’re looking more like your father every day, Tanaka. It makes me so happy to see those eyes looking at me.”  It was the only time she embraced him, it was the only time her touch felt soft.  
  
However, humans were nothing like animals that gave clear warnings when their space had been invaded. Animals had clear language for when they were about to attack. They only attacked for logical reasons, like to defend their territory, or because a human touched them in the wrong way. Humans however, would suddenly attack for illogical reasons. There was no predicting it at all. That was what made humans inferior to animals, or so Gundham thought.  
  
“Why doesn’t he come for me? I’ve been waiting for him all this time! He said he loved me! Stop looking at me like that, you're looking at me with his eyes!”

Strike.  
Crash.

Gundham simply stared in silence from where he had been knocked down onto the floor. He was used to avoiding others, everybody already turned their nose down at him.  
  
“That poor unwanted child... he's such a burden on his mother being born out of an affair.”  
  
Even at a young age he had gotten used to hearing those whispers. At that moment he realized, even his own mother was looking at him like that too.

 _I see._ _  
_ _You’re just like the rest._ _  
_

It was the fault of his appearance. His face that looked so much like his father’s, his hair that was the same color of his father’s, so in middle school he changed those things. He dyed white streaks in his hair, and got a tattoo of a scar over one eye. There was not much he could do for the rest of his face, so he started to wear a scarf at all times to cover it up.

Even after he made all those changes, his mother continued to cook the same terrible meal. It was his father’s favorite, after all. She cooked it every day in the small hope that his father would return home to eat it. Even after cooking so many times, and forcing it down so many times though, the food did not taste any better. It was poison. Nothing would change simply waiting here for his father to return. As long as she did that, his mother was not a mother.  
  
He had grown unbelievably tired, of being good, of making sure never to worry her. He wanted to corrupt himself, he wanted to let the poison that he had swallowed change him, corrupt him at his core, underneath his fingernails, from the corners of his eyes, he wanted to leak poison out.

So, he began to act like the dark outcast they had all made him out to be. He turned his nose up on others, dismissing them as commoners, before they could turn their nose up at him. That was how he decided to live. He was tired of not being good enough for his mother, tired of being alone because of circumstance. It was better if he thought himself better than everyone, it was better if he was alone by choice.  
_  
_ These were just the delusions of a middle schooler, infected with a deep disease called Chuunibiyou Middle School Syndrome that a lot of children desperate for attention eventually grew out of.  
  
How was one without a mother, ever supposed to grow up though? He was not even being fed properly, he had only ever swallowed poison. Even in High School he continued to be sick with this disease. He had always told himself he was fine like this, that he belonged with animals instead of humans. He spent all his time with them alone, until he developed a talent and was invited to that school. That was where he met her.

He met the first girl to look him in his cursed eyes, rather than turn her nose down at him. That same day he realized.  
_I knew it. I knew I was made of poison!_ _  
_ _No… it was that woman who was poison itself._

 

 ♛

 

The funeral service was remarkably short.  
  
His mother had no real friends in the world, as she had run away from her parents when she was much younger. A few of the associates he had made professionally attended. During the service he heard whispers.

 _How unfortunate, leaving a son that young all alone._ _  
_ _He has talent though. He’s a member of that prestigious school._ _  
_ _He’s already more ahead in life then we’ll ever be._

Normally he hated the whispers of others, but for once they were correct. In the wild animals were expected to survive on their own strength. Humans were an oddity, for having children that clung onto their parents for so long.  
_  
_ There was only one child his own age in attendance at the funeral. The only friend he had ever made at school. Despite it being a funeral service, she had arrived dressed as outlandishly as him. When he was left alone afterwards, staring at the freshly dug grave she walked up to him.  
  
“Since when did you start wearing an earring like that? It’s totally cute on you, but it’d look way better on me. Can I have it?”  
  
“No… this is a piece of cursed equipment. Your level must be 999 in order to equip the legendary Devil Dog Earring.”  
  
“Yeah, can you repeat that again for those of us that aren’t gigantic weebs?”  
  
“We… we’re in japan how could we be weaboos…. Nevermind. It’s a keepsake from my mother. She stole it from my father’s household before she was thrown out.”  
  
“You’re the son of someone’s mistress? That sounds like some fresh drama, dish.”  
  
“My mother was an idiot… even though she’d been abandoned, she kept believing that my father would come back one day.”  
  
“Do you hate your father?”

“Not just him… my mother too… and everyone else… I bear a grudge against all of mankind.”

That girl stopped suddenly, and placed a red nail on her lips. “Hmmm, oh yeah sure I totally buy that dark pretty boy act of yours. Here’s how I see it though, you never actually gave in to darkness.”  
  
“Hmmm? Cur, you insist that this dark heart of mine is still righteous?”  
  
“I should have studied the classics more, because I can barely speak Geek. I’ll do my best though. If you would have followed my suggestion you wouldn’t be in so much pain right now.”

“...”

“Your mother fed you the same poisonous slop every single day waiting for your father to come home, so you should have slipped poison into her meal. That way she could fall sick and if your father really loved her mother, she would have come home, happy ending for everyone.”

“...Keh. That woman was simply not worth my time to poison.”  
  
“You’re just too kind, Tanaka-senpai. You would have continued swallowing poison until you were right there next to her in that grave, before you ever did anything for yourself. Your kindness was wasted on that woman though, no matter what you did for her the end result was the same. She took her own life and left you alone. You weren’t good enough. What do you think about that?”

“Giving up on life and choosing death… is nothing but a blasphemy towards life. It is a violation of the natural order! It is the arrogance of humanity!”  
  
“If you had kept swallowing her food that day, you would have died along with her. You’d be  buried in the ground next to her, is that what you want?”

“No…”  
  
“Then, instead of just saying it to pretend to be an edgelord, this time you should mean it for real. Turn your back on humanity. You don’t need them anymore. All you need to do is survive.”

“...”  
  
That woman reached into her pocket and pulled out an envelope passing it to him. Tanaka saw the man pictured in the collection of files, he had a face matching his own. That was… his father…

  
“This time… make sure to do it right. Cut that man off from you, and you’ll be truly alone. You don’t need anybody else, all you need is the strength of despair to survive.” She said, gently caressing the side of his face, running her nails down his flesh.

He knew in his heart.  
_This woman is poison._ _  
_ However, by that point he had already given up. He had decided to accept it.  
_I’ve drank too much already._ _  
_ _In order to survive, my whole being fundamentally changed._  
_My entire life is poison._

 

 ♛

 

The moment she realized the secret, several things clicked into place for Enoshima Junko at once. Kumagawa’s avoidant behavior, his resigned nature, Mukuro’s constant running away from her, the two of them looked like they were always hiding something when they were around her.  
  
They hid their pain. They hid their pain from her. Just being around her, caused them pain.

Immediately, she felt spiteful. Somebody had removed the memory of the greatest despair she would ever taste from her mind. Not only that, but she had missed out on the despair of those two people who were so close to her. The despair she had been looking forward to her entire life experiencing at the moment of death… felt… empty.

The moment she realized that emptiness, she wanted to fill herself with even more despair. She immediately looked to Misogi. He had yet to say anything else, but his eyes looked to be holding back a deluge of emotion. Just one crack was all it would take, she just needed to push him a little further. She wanted to drown in those eyes after all, in what they felt. As he always felt what she could not, in a way she could not. She needed him for that yet…

The moment she thought she might see him show his pain on his face, Kumagawa simply smiled back at her. 『I guess I lost again...』  
  
“What do you mean ‘I guess I lost again’ that’s way too anticlimactic! Show me more despair, show me a more despairful despair.”

『Hmm… but I’m used to losing things. Why would I react like that?』  
  
“I’m supposed to be the one thing you couldn’t lose, the loss that drove you into the worst despair of your life.”

『That’s pretty presumptuous of you.』

“When this happened with you and Ajimu you tore her face off, come on do something like that, show me something interesting again.”

『That seems like a lot of effort.』

Junko, who was still sitting on top of Kumagawa grabbed him by the aleps of the black jacket he wore. He pulled him up so he was looking at her, pointed fingers tightening enough that he could feel them digging into his chest.  “Hey… Misogi… why are you being so cold… it’s… frustrating... “

Junko tasted fire, at the back of her tongue, her body was boiling, or perhaps she was forcing herself to feel angry just to feel something, to feel warm in that moment. She had burned up Kumagawa so much, and yet she could not feel a shred of warmth from him. Trying to force herself, she overheated and fell forward, head resting on his chest. The sedation she had been given much earlier finally taking the full effect.

“Junko!” Mukuro who had been watching in silence cried out in concern. Even though she was angry at her sister right now, her sister’s existence was so important to her, watching her sister be in pain activated her own pain reflexes.  
  
Kumagawa remained calm, his eyes not wavering.『Mukuro-chan it’s fine. I’ll explain everything to her...』

“But Misogi-chan I was the one who-”

『It’s none of your business, really. It was our lover’s suicide after all, so it should stay between us.』Kumagawa said, rather coldly again as he cradled Junko’s head carefully against his chest, before picking up the rest of her sleeping body and standing up on his own as well.

Junko dreamt of nothing at all, just a black void. There was probably some symbolic meaning behind it, but she was too bored to think it over. Her awakening was soft and gradual. She awoke somewhere warm, and soft. When she opened her eyes, the entire world was horizontal. She realized why in a moment as she had been laying her head against something. When she turned her head and looked up, she saw Misogi’s eyes again. She wanted to pluck them out and see what was behind them… but that was an embarrassing thought so she looked away her cheeks flushing the softest touch of pink.

『Hmmm… what’s wrong do you have a fever?』  
  
“No… why would you even ask that?”

『You’re all red. Besides, we’re on a tropical island who knows what strange diseases you can catch.』His hand traveled to her face, and he touched her perfectly untouched skin with those coarse and dirty hands of his. The rough feeling of his touch only made her redder though, as she remembered how he had touched her many times before, like he had broken into a temple and defiled the statue of a goddess. Yes, she thought rather highly of herself like that.

『Now you’re getting worse… is something wrong?』  
  
“Yeah, you.”

『I’m always wrong though, I meant something else.』  
  
“Is it possible to be this oblivious?”

『What are you talking about?』  
  
“Quit touching me!”

『Ah! Sorry, it was stupid of me to think you’d want to wake up in my disgusting lap.』  
  
When he tried to move though, her hand clamped down hard on him locking him into place. “Who gave you permission to move?”

『You just said to stop touching you.』  
  
“Well that’s not what I meant, see this is why I have to manipulate people into doing everything the moment I leave them to themselves they do it wrong-” She reached up and grabbed him by the wrist and wrenched his arm forward until his hand was in her hair. “There, do it like that. See.”

『You’re so fussy, just like a princess.』Kumagawa said as he started to run his individual fingers through her hair. Her hair now that it was down, fell everywhere around the two of them, like gold spilling everywhere, and her hair itself seemed to twist in every direction. His hands running through it, untwisted small parts.  
  
“That makes you my loser prince then…” She said, resting her cheek up against his bony leg once more. “So, are you going to tell me the story of how I died?”

『It’s not nearly as exciting as you think it is. When I woke up, you were standing on the balcony, and then you fell. I tried to grab you, and the railing broke, and then splash we both fell in.』  
  
“You’re a terrible storyteller. Where’s the prose, what were the characters thinking and feeling at the time, where’s the heart gripping drama?”

『I’m terrible at a lot of things. I told you already, death is really boring to me. There’s nothing I felt then that I didn’t feel before, I’m used to such losses.』

“You’re still being so stingy....” Junko’s expression became considerably grumpy, she pursed her lips to engage in a full on pout. She knew there was more to it than that, but Kumagawa was holding it tantalizingly out of reach.  
  
Ah, just for those who don’t know the root of that word is Tantalus. It’s about a man who fed his own sun to the greek gods and as punishment he was put in a pool of water about chest height, and a tree that grew grapes off its branches hanging just over head. When he was thirsty he would reach down but there would be nothing to drink as the water would recede, when he was hungry he would reach up but the tree would grow leaving the food just out of reach.  
  
That was how Junko felt, when she reached for an emotion to taste what it felt like it would always draw away from her, always evade her. When she reached out to others, they would always fall too easy and disappoint her, she couldn’t feel anything from them either. All that was left was for her to feel the despair of starvation. Even if she was empty, she could be filled with despair. At least that what what she thought. She studied his expression carefully again, even squinting her eyes to do so. It did not occur to Junko that she simply wanted to keep watching his face. No, she was studying him like an unknown quantity, an enigma that just suddenly appeared in her empty world. “There has to be more to it than that, something exciting lying in wait at the end.”

『I’m not lying. The only memories I have after that are ones from inside the game.』  
  
“It’s still not fair, how come you get to remember dying and I don’t. You’re always getting to feel things I don’t get to feel, selfish, greedy, meanie…” She kicked her legs in an ineffective tantrum. _There’s far too much that I don’t know, for example…_ “Misogi-senpai, I have a question.”

『... What? Out with it.』  
  
“What’s dying like?”

『It depends on the method really. I’ve been cut, poisoned, burned, bombed, electrocuted, freezed, cursed, pretty much every way imaginable. It differs slightly each time, but the moment before you go it’s like every wire in your body is cut at once, and you feel nothing. It’s a painful nothing, that eats all of you up until you can feel yourself physically leaking away, your consciousness like dark water, draining out of you until you’re completely empty. 』Kumagawa frowned, his brow twitched, he looked more annoyed than anything else.『Then you appear in a classroom and Ajimu-san gets smug and taunts you.』  
  
“Hmmm, really sounds fun.”

『It’s not really, I told you I’m used to anything but dying is the one thing I can’t stand.』  
  
“Then… why aren’t you showing me any despair? Come on already, share some with me.”

『Don’t wanna.』  
  
“Why not?”

『Junko… you keep telling me to share my feelings with you but…how can I do that when… I never once… after all this time...understood how you felt. You’ve never once showed me how you felt. You’re right next to me but I can’t see you at all.』 Kumagawa’s expression changed, his eyes were like a deep blue mist that fell so thick it was impossible to see even your hand when you extended it past your face. 『Monokuma’s right, it’s impossible to understand one hundred percent of a person’s inner world, but I understand zero percent of yours.』

 _Do you really not understand asingle thing about me after all this time?  It's... annoying how oblivious you are. I'm just annoyed that's all._ “Misogi-senpai, I’m always so cruel to my own twin sister. Why do you think I do that?” She spoke up suddenly.

『You don’t know how to treat others, so you betray them and hope sharing your pain with them will be a substitute for a real relationship.』

“No, that’s how a minus would think. Not how I would think.” She wondered why she was even bothering with this. After all Kumagawa Misogi was an idiot who would probably not understand no matter how many times she explained. It’s not like she was a person who wished to be understood anyway. She could act perfectly, and get as perfectly close to somebody as she wanted but she would not be able to feel anything that way. “You have to see things my way, like you’re living in my world.”

『Don’t you already act like the world belongs to you?』  
  
“I mean yes, but we’re talking metaphorically this time.”

『I don’t know what your world is even like, you’ve never told me. As far as you’re concerned it begins and ends with you. I can’t possibly see what you see, through those bored looking eyes of yours.』

“It’s like a game…” She suddenly spoke up again.

『Huh?』  
  
“It’s fitting we’re in a virtual world now where everything was designed on purpose and coded, pre-planned by a programmer. However, for me there’s no difference between the virtual world and the real one. I just keep thinking, how this fake world feels just as empty as the real one.”

In a video game, everything was intentionally designed by the designer beforehands. Therefore nothing truly ever could be a surprise. Even the so called random encounters were not truly random as every single possible monster you could encounter in that instant is planned ahead of time. Therefore, if you were someone capable of seeing every possibile monster that could show up, then it would be impossible to be taken by surprise.  
  
Even in video games with complex stories and branching narratives, every single branch was something that was decided upon beforehand. Choices with consequences had those consequences programmed in by the designers. Therefore if you could see the map of every single possible choice at once, and all the outcomes that had already been decided before the game even started for you there was nothing inside the game that could take you by surprise.  
  
If you tried to converse with the npcs, those were dialogue trees as well. There were only a certain amount of things that the npcs could be programmed to say. If you exhausted every single dialogue options, then they would just tediously repeat themselves. If you saw the whole dialogue tree in advance, then there was no point in even engaging in them because you would know beforehand everything they would say, and every response they could possibly make.  
  
If you tried to build your character, those were arranged in trees as well. There was no way you could build yourself except in ways the designers had foreseen beforehand. If  you saw all of those branches at once, then the illusion of freedom with designing your own character was gone. There was only a few certain predictable ways that a character could be built. You yourself could become nothing interesting.  
  
There was no real tension, because as long as you kept progressing forward in an rpg you would be following the designer’s pre-planned destination. Even in games with bad endings, those endings are anticipated from the designer. Nothing ever really breaks the scenario, nothing ever goes out of plan, your hero will always win because your loss isn’t actually a part of the scenario. Then once the party achieves victory, and defeats the demon king everything in the world resets and the status queue remains. There was no way to feel tension when everything was already decided ahead of time. They were all just on rails, pre-planned tracks, just repeating over, and over until it was entirely meaningless.  
  
It was fun to play video games as an outsider, entering into a different world, but what about to live in the world of a video game all the time? Even the most experienced of gamers will only play a game once or twice, perhaps ten times. What if they played it one hundred, one thousand. Until they knew every single centimeter, every single possible permutation of the game, and every character inside of it? Would they still be able to feel anything from that game?

Game characters themselves were lucky not to be self aware. If they knew they were pre planned characters, who only spoke the same hint about going to find the sword behind the waterfall every single time they were talked to by the hero, they would go mad from boredom too.  
  
To see the script when nobody else could, to see the code when nobody else could, to see the entire forest of ways things could possibly branch out in this scenario all at once when others could only look directly at trees, that was Enoshima Junko’s role.

『That sounds lonely...』  
  
“What?”

『A world where you feel like you’re the only real person, that sounds lonely to me...』

“Why are you always saying stupid things like that… that wasn’t the point. I mean admittedly, when people only move and act in predictable ways, they don’t really seem alive… more like pre programmed NPCs.”

『Isn't that kind of Ajimu's thing? She might sue you for copyright infringement.』

"It's just a metaphor! I don't actually think that way. I'm just dumbing it down to explain to an idiot like you why I can't feel anything for the vast majority of peeps who bore me."

『So, I was right. You don’t really feel anything for anyone at all.』

“Misogi-senpai, I have a question.”

『...What? Out with it.』

“What in the world is love to you?”

『That’s an unfair question to ask me. I’ve never once been loved, how should I know?』  
  
“Surely you’ve thought about it before.”

『I don’t know… something irreplaceable, more important than anyone else, almost obsessed with to the point of insanity, wanting to be within their embrace, even living in a world with only her would be fine...I don’t know where it comes from… spontaneously, you realize it, and then it’s like they were always there, that’s what love is, isn’t it? 』

“I don’t know either.” SHe said flippantly, puffing up her cheeks like a child as she did.

『Then why did you make me go on that embarrassing rant?』  
  
“It was super funny, watching your face as you forced yourself to say all that. But you know, when I look at… y… a certain somebody… my heart beats faster, and I can’t stop trembling. I decided that, in my case, that impulse is love… because it’s more interesting that way. I like how you described it, spontaneous.”

『Your heart races and you shake… it sounds like fear… or catching a cold.』  
  
“Yes, it’s like catching a cold. It’s invisible, you can’t see it approach, but suddenly if you spend enough time with a person, you become awfully sick because of them.”

The question was then if Enoshima Junko viewed herself as the only real person who could control herself and had a full range of movements, in a world with npcs and pre-planned movements how exactly was she able to feel anything from them?  
  
After all, no matter what she did she could not impact them in any way. All of their movements had been decided ahead of time, whether she was there or not made no difference at all. If feelings, if a relationship requited a change, if they required a change and then two people to unexpectedly develop an importance for one another she was removed entirely from that world. She could only move in between pre-planned routes. Being able to see the routes when somebody else could not meant occupying an entirely different world from them.  
  
For example in a dating sim, are you really getting close to someone? If you look up a walk through and pick the exact right options you’re not actually building their affection for you and what you would say in that situation, you are simply telling them what they want to hear. There is also no way a single pre programmed pretty boy could ever fall for you, because routes are not designed for individuals but rather for broad general categories.

People were so universally easy to navigate for her, she never needed to tell them about herself, only ever what they wanted to hear. They were so easy to move for her, that she never even bothered trying to approach them the real way when the performative one was much quicker. ‘  
  
A character in a dating sim could never fall for a player. If they seemed to, that was just an illusion, it was a result of a completed route, or a pre-planned intent by the developers. There was nothing spontaneous about that.  
  
There was no way she could see anything unexpected from people. She pushed their buttons and they reacted exactly as she anticipated them, and when people acted like that was it so wrong to see them as nothing more than empty dolls with only a limited range of reactions to stimuli?

The only way for her to feel something real from those people, was if they did something beyond their preprogrammed options so if she broke all of their options, then what would they do? Hopefully, something unexpected. When people were broken, when they were pushed to the edge, when they were suffering, only then did they forget about all of their preconceived notions and programming and truly act in unexpected ways.  
  
The only way to escape the predictions of the developer, was to break the game entirely.  
  
But, if the entire world was filled with heartless dolls she did not care about, how exactly would she feel motivated to break those people? Nobody feels anything from watching a character with no substance die, and stories require investment before killing off major characters.  
  
She viewed it the same way. She tried to get invested in a few people. She was always around her sister, always around Matsuda. Even if they too, were just automatons, she spent every second she could with them.  
  
Her sister was the family she chose after all. She always dragged Mukuro along into her schemes even though she knew Mukuro did not enjoy it the same way she did. She always made sure to give Mukuro a role. She relied on Mukuro even though it was unnecessary for someone like her to rely on anybody. She truly viewed her sister as the only family she had in this world. It had nothing to do with blood relation, she did not care at all for their parents after all, it was just what she had decided.

Matsuda was a close friend she had chosen to, she wanted him to spend time with her. She built that castle and destroyed it on that day so she could get his attention again. She was always causing trouble so he would have a chance to protect her. She was comforted by his embrace even when she did not need to.  
  
She nurtured her love for those two people all this time. Even if they were just her one sided feelings, she wanted to be able to feel something from those two essential people who had always been by her side.

She got close to them all this time, until they were so close they were essentially a part of her world, so she could tear away those essential existences. She wanted to see how much despair it would bring her.  
  
That was her twisted, one sided love.  
Because she cared about them so much, she tormented them.  
She gave her sister no inkling of how she truly felt, she only ever showed her pain.  
Every time Junko said cruel words to her beloved sister, hurting her, she hurt herself.  
She hated herself for hurting them, she pitied herself for how much pain she felt when she hurt them, and then she felt despair upon despair for her self pity. A cycle that twisted her up.

But to her, that was still love.  
She had singled out those people as special existences from all the rest of the automatons.  
Even if they were in the end, just NPCs too she wanted to feel something from them.  
She wanted to be able to experience those feelings too.  
That was her unbelievably selfish love.  
  
“There’s no despair in making suffer and killing people you genuinely don’t care about, you know.”

『Then… why do you want to kill yourself so badly?』  
  
“Obviously, it’s because I love myself the most.”

『Junko… I… don’t think your way of viewing things is right. Maybe… your world is empty to you and filled with dolls because you don’t let anybody in it. Before you destroy anybody else’s world… you should destroy your own narrow world, otherwise… you yourself too are limited in your actions.』

“Huh?”

『I mean you always pick despair don’t you? Wouldn’t you get bored of yourself that way?』

“...”

『 I…to me. The world is like a dark night that swallows everything, but since you came in to my life and you were so kind to find me....Ugh』Tears were streaming down his face and he wiped them away crudely with his sleeve. 『I went to so many schools, and nothing was permanent. I died countless times. I suffered a lot. People disappeared from my life so quickly, I never cared about their feelings or understood them, only my own. Hope’s Peak was the only school I stayed at for longer than a month. I had so much fun, even though I had to fight a lot, and bad things kept happening over and over. The school where I met you became precious to me, the days that I spent with you became precious to me.. For the first time I cared about how someone else felt… I wanted to know if they were precious to you too… because I just wanted you to look my way… I thought you… might have been happy too… even meeting… someone like me… 』In that moment Kumagawa kicked Junko off of his legs and then brought his knees up, withdrawing into himself. As he buried his head away, closing his eyes did nothing to stop him from seeing them. Countless hands were reaching out for him. He had been touched over and over again, violated in every way possible, all of those hands were only reaching out to hurt him.  
  
Enoshima Junko did not take falling back on the bed suddenly with annoyance as she usually did. Instead, she sat up and slowly reached out for him. Her pointed fingers, caressed his head and rather than forcing him as she usually did, she encouraged him slowly to raise his head up and rest it in her chest.  
  
Kumagawa felt, two hands distinct from all the other ones reaching out to hurt him. He lifted his head and finally revealed that miserable face to her. 『What I thought at the time was pointless though isn’t it? I talked big but… the first available opportunity to stop you from dying I failed. If you leave this place, I’ll fail again, and you’ll die. There’s no way somebody like me will ever be able to save you. I’m guaranteed to fail eventually. I know that so why… why am I so scared? It’s inevitable I’m going to lose you no matter how tightly I hold onto you… so why do I want to try anyway? 』  
  
“You have to keep on struggling even when you know it’s pointless, even when you know everything will be lost in the end, that’s your despair Misogi.” She sounded cold and analytical on the surface, but inside it was like something had sparked in that moment. As she felt Kumagawa’s frail body wrap around hers, and she felt his body shake with each one of his sobs so thoroughly. She realized, this was his genuine emotion, the real thing.  
  
He really did care about her. Outside of somebody to lose, outside of a game to win against her, her pain was his own. His feelings were not something she could deny as the machinations of an automaton. With all of his being in this moment, he genuinely wished for her to live. Even though it did nothing but hurt him, he continued to wish that.  
  
She really did not know how to feel about that. She never considered others feelings in the equation, except in how inflicting despair on them would inflict despair on herself. Almost as if he was sensing that uneasiness, Kumagawa’s embrace suddenly tightened around her. She could feel his heart beating in his chest, so much louder than her own. He was somebody who was truly alive.

『Junko...』He breathed warmth into her. 『Even though you’ve caused me a lot of pain, I want this for myself. I… know you regret the fact that you were born, because the world is completely empty to you but, I don’t regret that you were born. I want to help you too, to stop regretting that fact, even if I have to shatter your world to do it.』  
  
“How sickening.”

『Huh?』  
  
“I’m trying to confess to you, that I feel the same way. That you’re the one I want to make suffer the most, too.”

『Isn’t that obvious? You’re always being annoying like that….How is that a confession?』  
  
“Read between the lines.”

『What lines? There’s no lines we’re having a spoken conversation.』

“Listen Misogi, thinking about you makes me feel really sick.”

『It’s a good thing we’re in a hospital room then.』  
  
“You are so… oblivious. There has to be a limit to how oblivious one person can be.” She said, as she suddenly pushed him away from their embrace. Her face was red at her cheeks again.

『Junko, are you sure you haven’t caught a fever?』  
  
“Shut up! My heart can only take so much of this… saying embarrassing stuff like that! You’re such a cruel one! This is torture!” She said, before grabbing a pillow from her bed and smacking him away with it.  
  
Kumagawa still had no idea what she was talking about, and as he saw feathers fly into the air, he must have felt a special attachment for them because his head was filled with the same, light and fluffy stuff.

Well, only such an empty headed person would choose willingly to drink her poison.

 

 ♛

 

After confiding in Komaeda his worries about Pekoyama, Komaeda gave the same advice to Hinata that he always did. “We should seek out the help of someone talented. Don’t you remember what you said to Pekoyama long ago, that you could ask Gundham to help her find an animal that was not afraid of her?”  
  
“Oh yeah. You were listening back then?”  
  
“I’m always listening to you.”  
  
“Awe.”  
  
“Even when you sleep.”  
  
“Did you have to make it creepy? Was that completely necessary?”  
  
“You’re the one who asked me to speak more honestly with you from now on, it’s too late for regrets now, Hinata-kun.”  
  
“If you learned to regret a little more we wouldn’t have had to have that fight in the first place.” After their fight, they had aired out a lot, and sort of reset to some kind of status queue between them. Considering the fact that their relationship was always changing though, the two of them were more comfortable with a push and pull like this. Hinata had listened to Komaeda this time, and went to find Gundham.  
  
The moment he found him on the first island though, staring at the two boys standing next to each other, Gundham acted strangely as usual. “...Don’t get any closer. I already know what you’re thinking.” He said, crossing his arms in front of him and taking a defensive martial arts pose that he probably just copied from some anime.  
  
_How do you know that? Even I don’t know what I’m thinking half the time._ Hinata said, looking truly shocked.  
  
“Now then, summon your familiar.”  
  
“No, I don’t have anything like that…”

Komaeda pointed a finger at the round part of one of his cheeks, offering Hinata a smile. “Perhaps he meant me.”

“Feh, an inadequate servant but it seems you’ve finally managed to obtain one.”  
  
“Komaeda isn’t a servant to me. I want an equal relationship with him-”  
  
“There’s no way I could ever stand on the same level as a-” Komaeda suddenly spoke hurriedly interrupting him.  
  
However, HInata pushed a hand into the side of his face shoving him away for now. “We’re not having that conversation right now. I’m just a normal human who wants normal friends, Gundham.”  
  
“Just as I thought, you are a mere human… and a strange one at that.”

Despite his usual offputtting attitude, to Hinata Gundham did not at all look annoyed. In fact he was concealing a smile as he tilted his head away from the both of them. “However, you probably don’t understand how pointless this place is for a demon beast tamer.”

“Now that you mention it… even though this is a tropical island, I don’t see any wild animals.”  
  
“If this place really was a normal tropical island, I wouldn’t have time to talk to you so freely. Many beasts inhabit the thick forests… There may even be rare species that only exist in that land! Hehe… just thinking about it makes me tingle…”

 _Yeah he’s smiling. He’s finally smiling._ Hinata said, his eyes widening in shock. He looked over to Komaeda’s face, and saw a smile as well as drool forming in the corner of his lips.  
  
“What a wonderful expression of talent, how dedicated… he’s going to bring so many new discoveries to the world.”

 _This guy’s always smiling too…. Well… if he’s happy that’s nice I guess._ Hinata said, softening his usual creeped out reaction to Komaeda’s fanboying antics.  
  
“Ah… I seem to recall seeing a cow at the ranch…” Hinata pressed himself hard to try to think of a way to find a soft animal for Pekoyama to play with, even though there was no other wildlife on this tropical island.  
  
“I’m not interested in some domestic animal.”  
  
“I had a feeling you’d say that…” Hinata knew whatever he suggested was probably going to sound no good to an Ultimate Breeder.

“After all, I cannot look at it without feeling pity…” Suddenly, Gundham averted his eyes pulling his scarf up over his mouth.  
  
“Huh!?” _So Gundham does have normal emotions after all._

“Such creatures are born to be eaten by humans. Even if I had the All-Seeing-Eye I couldn’t change that fate… I just… can’t be reminded of that. Creatures born into this world, not to be loved, not to be raised, just to be consumed… it would bring calamity onto my mind after all.”

_Gundham understands the feelings of animals… so this must be a complicated subject for him.._

_“_ Hmmph… I appear to be getting oddly sentimental since I haven’t encountered any new demon beasts. I’ve tamed various creatures, such as the Cerberus, the phenix, and even the Midgard Serpent…”  
  
_He probably just means dog, birds, and lizards… I think I’m learning to translate weirdo. I should apply these skills to Komaeda._ “When you say ‘tamed’ what exactly does that entail?”  
  
“Hmmpph… I guess it’s fine to tell a mere human. I don’t believe that you’ll get in my way. Basically.. You must say, ‘Good girl, good girl’.” As he said this, Gundham struck an epic pose. At least it was a pose that he himself thought was epic.  
  
Hinata hesitated. “...Huh?”  He suddenly reached out for Komaeda’s hair and patted him on the head. “Good boy, good boy.”  
  
“Nobody’s ever praised me before… wait…. You didn’t think that would literally work did you?”  
  
“It feels like a sheep.” Hinata was not listening to him, and instead kept playing with the oily curls of Komaeda’s impossibly matted and tangled up white hair.  
  
“You must repeatedly speak to them, and make sure they understand that there is on ill will on our end. In order to do that, you need to appear innocent. Of course, there are some who liked to be touched, and some that don’t. It’s better if you keep these basics down. Afterward, as long as you spend a long time together you’ll eventually start to hear your partern’s words.”  
  
“I’m pretty sure that only happens to Ultimate Breeders…” _Gundham sems different than usual when he talks about animals. Somehow, his face seems gentler… He must… Really love animals._ Hinata made yet another one of his brilliant deductions about the man called the Ultimate Breeder. _If only he allowed himself to be this kind all the time. He might be happier._

“Now then… I wonder if there are evil demon beasts that will rile me up on this island somewhere…”

“Monokuma is sort of shaped like an animal.”  
  
“They are no good. Anything that can talk will eventually betray you.” Gundham suddenly looked at Hinata with both eyes. His fearful look was the same as an animals, and Hinata could see beads of sweat running down his forehead.  
  
“I agree… But I don’t plan to betray you at all.”

Gundham smirked. “Hmph. Such exaggerations coming from a mere human like you. However… that’s a nice line.” He pointed to Komaeda suddenly, focusing his scarred eye and uneven gaze on him. “What about that one? You know the story about the scorpion and the toad, he’s a scorpion and you… you’re a very stupid toad who repeatedly lets him ride on your back no matter how much he stings you.”

 _Is he insulting me again or is he just concerned for me._ Hinata’s eyebrow twitched and his mouth fell open as he felt exasperated. “I… if he’s stung me a lot, then I’ve gotten pretty used to his poison don’t you think?”

“Hinata-kun…”  
  
“I think he’s pretty tolerable, overall…”  
  
“You shouldn’t have to tolerate trash like me I’ll only drag you down into-”

“I just told you we’re not having this conversation right now!” Hinata snapped at him again. “Remember, we were going to try to help Pekoyama? Focus on that! We need to cheer her up so her talent can shine… or whatever you always say. “  
  
“Right. Gundham’s intelligible way of speaking could be what they call ‘Chuunibiyou’, wouldn’t you agree? If you want to recruit him for Pekoyama’s help, I think we should do our best to not let the conversation get too confusing and ask directly.”  
  
“Now you, Gundham. T… tremble in fear for I am… The wearer of the boundary between black and white’s master!!” Hinata wanted to convince Gundham to help him go wrangle the cow, but he could not think of any way to ask besides playing along with his usual games. He put two fingers underneath his eye and struck a pose the same way Gundham always did when he thought he was saying something important.  
  
“Hinata-kun. I didn’t mean creating characters to make it less confusing for him.” Komaeda said, his eyes flat as he watched the antics, and a dull smile on his face.  
  
Feeling embarrassed suddenly, Hinata’s neck snapped back to look at him. “Oh? Really?”  
  
“What did… You say…!!!” Gundham stumbled backwards, regretting what he had said previously about domesticated animals now that he knew he was finally standing in front of a master. “I would never expect a fiend like you to have a contract with cattle… However, they are not something a commoner would be able to raise. What are you, fiend..?”

“I am… your chosen rival destined to walk beside you. As we continue this lonely road, may our paths intersect again and again so we can continue to sharpen ourselves against one another!” Hinata shouted back at him, striking another pose crossing his arms in front of one another, and his legs as well. _Am I doing this right? This pose is really awkward to hold. How is he always posing like this does his body get sore?_  
  
“Now, guide me to your servant’s location! Let us compare if your servant is more wicked than my great four dark devas of destruction!”

 ♛

 

“Wait… since we did we have a cow here in the first place..” Hinata remembered there was nothing but chickens here on this island, then the day he came here with Chiaki there was a cow for her to pet. _Wait… why didn’t I think about this until now?_ It was a question that Hinata often ended up asking himself.  
  
“Your cattle! Your bond must have called it here!” Gundham said with his arms crossed. Hinata was sure if this world was a manga there would be sound effects drawn in for emphasis on him.  
  
“No, that wasn’t my doing…”  
  
“Whatever… Even if you have a special ability it is not possible for anyone to challenge our Tanaka Kingdom. Now, let me see you petting it, fiend! That’s enough for me to understand the bond between you and it!” He threw his hand forward, gesturing grandly at both Hinata and the cow.

 _I have no idea what I’m doing… I was hoping Gundham would do this…_ Hinata reached forward and patted the cow on the side. _Guess it’s back to faking it until I make it. Actually, I’m no good at faking it… or making it..._  “See? You understand it now, right? Our bonds or whatever.”

“Y… you fiend…” Gundham suddenly trembled, stumbling backwards again.  
  
Hinata thought Gundham had seen through his lies. He hoped Gundham would at least help a little bit now. He scratched at the back of his head, putting a hand into his cpoket. “Yeah, everything we talked before was made up, you see…”  
  
“I feel it! I’m feeling it!!! Your bond with it!! Your wicked aura!!!”

 _This can’t be happening._ Hinata said, looking in stunned silence.  
  
Solemnly, Gundham nodded and then pulled his scarf over his face. “Look. It’s eyes. They are very kind eyes.”

Hinata turned around, and he saw the wide eyed dull glare of the cow for a moment. He recognized that clueless look, those were his own eyes.  
  
“Hinata-kun, your memories about yourself are still fuzzy, aren’t they? It’s completely possible that you might have been ‘the super high school level cow keeper’ that’s too close to Tanaka-kun though.” Komaeda said, gesturing helpfully to the bond that Hinata and Gundham were displaying.  
  
_Now that he mentioned it… I feel some sort of special feeling when I’m dealing with this guy. It’s just as Komaeda said, I’m…_ “Tanaka I feel like you and I are one and the same!” Hinata posed, holding his hand out.  
  
“Fuahahahahaha! Due to us joining hands, an even bigger chaos shall be brought forth to this world. Isn’t that so, my sworn friend?”

“Now, let us go my partner!” He looked back to the cow, locking eyes with him again.  
  
However, the triumph of that moment was ruined when Komaeda taking a step forward, suddenly slipped in a cow pie and then slid forward. He reached out to grab onto anything to stop his fall, and ended up grabbing the end of the cow’s tail, and yanking hard with all the momentum of his fall.

The 753 kg animal suddenly lost the peaceful look in his eyes and became enraged. He turned that angry expression on the three boys.

 _On a wagon bound for market  
_ _There's a calf with a mournful eye  
_ _High above him there's a swallow  
_ _Winging swiftly through the sky_

The cow snorted and breathed two visible, hot puffs of air from its nostrils before it suddenly charged both Hinata and Gundham. Hinata had no idea what to do, so he decided to do the smart thing turned to run. He also screamed for good measure, thinking that would help somehow.  
  
Gundham however was silent and observed the animals movement patterns. He stayed back, watching with his arms crossed.

 _How the winds are laughing  
_ _They laugh with all the their might  
_ _Laugh and laugh the whole day through  
_ _And half the summer's night_

Hinata realized at that moment that Komaeda was still on the ground. Considering his luck, he would either be completely untouched by this whole incident, or he would be trampled on and die. That was not something he could leave up to chance.  
  
He stopped running suddenly, dragging his heels in the mud as he changed direction. He decided to do the stupid thing and barrel forward, reaching out for Komaeda and yanking him up by the green coat he always wore. He picked him up with all of his strength, and threw him over the wooden fence.

 _Donna Donna Donna Donna  
_ _Donna Donna Donna Don  
_ _Donna Donna Donna Donna  
_ _Donna Donna Donna Don_

Hinata looked to Gundham and made silent eye contact. The two of them worked together, silently approaching the animal, watching its flight zone, and when they had gotten close enough to the rampaging beast they sealed it away with the forbidden words.  
  
“Good girl, good girl.”  
“Good girl, good girl.”

 

 ♛

 

“My partner is a fearsome beast! She nearly killed Komaeda, there’s no way she would be afraid of you.” Hinata said as he held a rope connecting himself to the cow’s bridal.  
  
“Well, killing me isn’t a true measure of strength. I’m really frail and sickly, in fact I’m easy to kill if you ever wanted to-”  
  
“I don’t want to ever.”  
  
Pekoyama stared out from behind the threshold at her door, as she looked at the cow. She approached it slowly with caution, and then just as Hinata had she held out her hand and patted the cow once on the stomach.  
  
“Ah… it’s such a soft one…” Without thinking, Pekoyama was able to smile in that moment. Komaeda, and Hinata, joined her smiling as well. The three of them were able to smile finally, even when they thought they had nothing else to smile for.

“Pekoyama for what I said… I…” Komaeda did not know if he regretted what he said or not, but he wanted to say something for Hinata’s sake. He could not bring himself to finish though, and Pekoyama seemed to notice.  
  
“Komaeda, to be honest I never listened to you in the past… but… you’re one of the few remaining classmates I have left… and you’re important to an important person to me.” She looked over at Hinata. “So I want to start.”

In the distance, Gundham was watching over all three of them. He smirked underneath his scarf, and crossed his arms as usual. “Feh! It seems the bonds between to that trio have been repaired. Then, there is no longer any need for me. I shall disappear into the night like I always do.”

“You’re always watching over others like that? Doesn’t that make you some kind of stalker…” Naze said, standing next to him, rossing her arms in a similiar way.  
  
“Hold it, if you come any closer…”

“Like I want to get closer to you anyway.” Naze said, scowling underneath her bandages  
  
Just then, Kurokami Medaka walked by both of them. “Oh, are you two hanging out again? You’ve spent so much time together lately take care of my sister.”

Naze made a sound a dying cat might make.  
  
Gundham merely pulled his scarf up to cover his face. “... Anyway, it appears you’ve finally noticed… The blood that flows within me… bears a fearsome curse. Ever since I was young, this body of mine was exposed to so many poisons that it became poisonous itself. If a mere human like you ever touched me, you will immediately decompose and wither away. Thus.. I’ve been trying to make sure others don’t get too close to me.”

“There’s actually somebody with an abnormality like that… Mukae Emukae… though she disappeared awhile ago in unknown circumstances. However, you have no such abnormality. You weren’t born like that anyway.”  
  
“It’s not an issue of gains and losses. I became like this because I had to… I have to be like this even if I don’t want to be. I’ve been putting poison in my body ever since I was young…”  
  
“So… was your mother’s cooking that bad?”  
  
“You… you wouldn’t understand how much pain I had to endure… Plus, that woman would cry if I didn’t finish my plate. What choice do I have but to suffer in silence. Anyway… now that you would understand, you shouldn’t come any closer to me. Know that if you ever touch me, it would mean death for you.”

Naze blinked her one eye. “Eh… that’s fine by me. I mean, dangerous people and dangerous situations are the kind I seek out. If you were poisoned by bitter tasting… then the silver spoon my parents put in my mouth was far too sweet. That happiness rotted me from the inside out, so in my opinion… I prefer miserable loners like you.”  
  
“Hah. To believe we are on the same level, what arrogance you have.”  
  
“Hmm… When you were in grade school, did you ever hold hands with any of the other kids?”  
  
“It’s obvious now, but at the time… I was faking my condition. By moving next to the teacher who served me, I was able to avoid questions and survive without any problems. You don’t understand! That is a ceremony for summoning evil deities. Fortunately, the school nurse was in the same tribe as me, so I was able to leave without getting involved.”

“I didn’t want to make friends in school either, so I made the kids bully me on purpose, and I wrote terrible foul curses on my desks and sat in the farthest corner in the room. Even then there was somebody who always walked up to me and greeted me. She was completely normal, but she pretended to be abnormal… Hey Tanaka-kun can you really talk to animals?”

“K...keh… doubting my cursed tongue.”  
  
“I think you just… imagine what the animals are saying, project your feelings onto them so you feel less alone, you have no such abnormality that allows you to talk to animals but… that behavior is pretty abnormal in its own right…”  
  
“N..no, I am a cursed existence.”  
  
“You seem pretty normal to me, pretending to be abnormal. I like people like that. What about you? What people do you like?”  
  
“.... Anyone whose power matches my own, or… No, there’s no way such a being exists. I thought there was one once, she had beautiful golden hair, and learned to speak just like I did to get close to me but… because she walked the same path as me she ended up getting harmed.”  
  
“Yeah… both of us here on this island are missing someone essential. We’re both alone… so we could be alone together.”  
  
“What are you proposing?”  
  
“J-just cooperation as scientists. I have enough annoying attachments to worry about already.”  
  
“Hmmph. There might be similarities between us but we could never combine our powers. I cannot trust someone with a sealed away face. Who knows curses you could be hiding underneath those bandages”  
  
“Ugh… I told you I wasn’t bandaging my face for chuuni reasons… fine.” She swiftly grabbed the knife at her forehead and then pulled it out, causing the bandages to tumble away from her face. As she did, she let her tongue fall out as well revealing the unevenly cut purple hair, and scarred forehead of Kurokami Kujira. “Can you trust this?”  
  
“What a poisonous look you have about you…” He pulled his scarf over his face. “Like a black widow spider, a beauty meant to warn of poison. Fine then, since all I know is poison I can trust a face like that.”


	22. The Shadow At Your Feet (7 -Chance x Dance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya reference to start this chapter off.  
> It's funny how Medaka and Izaya both love humans and have such completely different approaches to it.

She loved humans.  
  
That was why Kurokami Medaka wanted to become more like them, to change herself which she had always viewed as inhuman before this point. She had many reasons to love humans, as wide and diverse as humans themselves tended to be.  
  
If she was asked to sum it up in one neat and tidy reason though she would explain it like this. Do you recall those test strips used in biology to test pH levels? If you put them in an unknown substance, they would turn a certain color if the substance was acidic, another color if it was basic, and a third if it was neutral. While the colors they changed would seem amazing at first, after a few times a child experimenting with it would realize that there was only a limited number of colors that could be produced as a result.

Humans could turn an infinite spectrum of colors. They too, were just like science experiments. Every time they interacted and reacted with each other, they were changed and dyed an entirely new color. Not only were they already present in all kinds of forms, but she could watch them change and grow too.  
  
Let’s say she posed this question to you: “Can all human souls be bought with money or not?” Now, remember the keyword here is “all”. The answer is “There are times when you can buy them, and other times, not.” She knew one human being who was so prideful he would not sway for over ten billion yen as he never did anything he did not think was his own will, and another human being so desperate, she would murder someone over one yen.

There was no conclusive way to understand all of humanity, even she who learned everything with no effort would never understand the whole of them. That was why they fascinated her so much.

They were a circus filled with brilliant colors and lights, dancing and dazzling before her for her to admire. She always watched them in awe from afar, and because of that her world was filled with many colors.  
  
To her life really was epic.  
The world would remain her garden until the end of time.  
She would never grow bored of it.  
That was what she arrogantly thought.  
  
Simply put, she loved humans. Humans were the most interesting creatures she could hope to find. Though, when I said humans, I meant all humans, not just anyone specifically, important detail.

She had no love for any individual, including herself. Humans were so many different colors, but she viewed herself as a colorless and dull girl. If humans changed colors by mixing with each other that explained why she was such a dull gray. She had always stood above others, never interacting with anyone.  
  
Even so there was a boy who was always by her side, and even if she did not think herself capable of it, she longed to love him normally like a human might. It was because of him in the first place, that she had suddenly started to desire for herself again.

Now that boy lay in front of her barely twitching in restful sleep. She had been faithfully waiting for him to return, lounging around his bed like a lioness on guard. After all it was her lapse of guard that allowed four precious people to be taken already. She would not let her attention slip again in the same hospital where Enoshima Junko was present.  
  
She reached forward and was tempted to rustle his hair in his sleep, as she often did when she was awake. She wondered though… if because of those feelings of hers, touching him right now would be improper. Her hand hesitated right before touching his head, and she decided against it withdrawing her hand.

Holding her own hand, she decided to take a walk in the hallway for a brief moment. The hospital only had two floors, and three sick rooms on the first floor. Which meant she could find the other sick patient being kept here for now without straying too far from Zenkichi. WIthout invitation, she easily walked into the other girl’s room.  
  
She was surprised by what she saw, as that girl was always surprising her. Papers were littered all over the floor, and Enoshima Junko had papers all over her bed as well. There was one sheet in her lap she was enthusiastically coloring on with crayon. Draped across her bed, Kumagawa Misogi had fallen asleep and was even in his sleep holding onto one of her hands.  
  
Kurokami Medaka stared at her own hand for a moment, empty and colorless as it was. She wondered if she should have held Zenkichi’s hand by his bedside, would he even like holding cold hands like hers? Watching Kumagawa and Junko interact often baffled her, for more reasons than just her prudish nature, and her lack of experience with relationships. She did not understand how somebody like Junko, who she viewed as equally inhuman as herself could have gotten close enough to touch someone.  
  
Her self reflection however, was interrupted by Enoshima Junko’s loud voice, she had the kind of screeching voice that demanded attention be paid to it. “Yo, Kurokami-san have you come to kill me?”

“No, just to clean up after your messes as usual.” She said as she bent over and started to pick up the papers off the floor.

“Are you really such a goody two shoes that you care about littering? If you keep going I might just admire you, it takes true dedication to be that boring.”

“I’m surprised a girl as impulsive and flippant as you knows the meaning of that word.” Kurokami Medaka just for a moment finally glanced down at the papers she was holding in her hand. She hesitated when she saw red crayon, splattered everywhere on one of the drawings. Other than that, the drawing was a highly detailed rendition of what looked to be an execution device, which she had witnessed twice already and endured once before this game even started. “Oh, this is well drawn, no… wait. What are you doing?”  
  
“I thought it was rando’s job to ask dumb questions. I got bored so I started plotting executions, obvs. It’s not like I can let that handsome devil Monokuma outdo me just because he has more resources for his execution.” Junko made a rectangle frame with her index and thumb from both hands, one bandaged and one normal. “Hmmm, I wonder what kind of execution would be best for you you’re a tricky one to kill. I bet I’d have to dump you in a volcano, just like Joseph Joestar did to Kars.”  
  
Sitting on the floor with her legs crossed, wearing a rabbit pin in her hair and a face covered with bandages, Ajimu Najimi spoke up. “Kars wasn’t defeated by dropping him into a volcano he adapted to that, he was only finished off by being launched into space, Junko-chan.”  
  
“So you’re saying I should launch She-Hulk into space then?” Junko said looking back excitedly at Ajimu for once, who did not reply.  
  
Kurokami sighed crossing her arms over her great chest. “I don’t understand how you could be so bored you’d treat people like toys you need to destroy for your own amusement.”  
  
“You’re the confusing one. You should be just as bored as I am with people…”Junko replied as she stopped in the middle of her drawing.

Ajimu spoke up again from where she had been sitting politely. “It’s because Junko-chan understands people too well, that they become so boring to her. You don’t Medaka-chan, and therefore people are a mystery too.”  
  
“I suppose you’re someone who gets bored easily as well too, Anshin’in-san, so you would know.”  
  
“I suppose you could compare Junko and I, but in that case the difference is I’m much more likeable as a person.”  
  
“Hey! Why don’t you google Enoshima Junko-chan, and Ajimu Najimi-san and see which name comes up with more results?”  
  
“Ssssh, Junko-chan, the adults are talking.” Ajimu said, deliberately looking away from Junko still in her hospital bed.   

Of course, Kurokami Medaka could not shut Enoshima Junko out so easily. She had the idea in her head now, that possibly if she could understand Enoshima Junko, then she might be able to understand herself as well. That was what kept her persistent, even though her last attempt to understand Enoshima ended only in tragedy for her. “You’re right we’re both smart girls but… I don’t feel the need to hurt people like you do.”

“Oh, you’re so kind. I’ve been converted by your kindness… awe too bad I got bored of being converted so I went right back to normal.” Enoshima Junko’s red eyes narrowed at her. “Even if you were nothing but kind to others you still can’t go through your life avoiding hurting others. For example, that sister of yours.”  
  
“You’re the last person who should talk to me about sisters, Enoshima.” Junko said, recalling still the scene of Junko’s attempted murder of her own sister, and the many consecutive scenes afterwards of her abuse.  
  
“At least I know I’m hurting my sister though, unlike you. You know, that sister of yours just wants you to get mad at her for once, to hold her accountable for her actions. Your kindness is killing her, making her feel terrible about herself…” Enoshima Junko dragged her fingers lightly, girlishly across her soft cheeks. She looked like nothing more than a young girl, energetically speaking about something she loved, gushing almost, speaking with pure affection, as she said such terrible words. “You’ve saved your friends over and over again, but you’ve never once understood them have you Medaka-chan?”

Medaka noted this, Enoshima Junko who most of the time spoke politely and formally, suddenly spoke more informally to her just now. She had no idea what prompted that. She did not want to answer her question either, so she simply turned around. “Do you always tell people things they already know?”  
  
“It’s the easiest way to get people to move after all, to confront them with the truths that they’re in denial of, but knew all along.”  
  
“Well you should try something besides the easy way for once.” With that she left and made her way to the hallway.

Rather than stay in the room with Junko, Ajimu Najimi trailed behind her. Junko could not tell if Ajimu had decided to follow her because she was simply curious, or concerned. The former seemed more likely to her. It was Medaka who spoke up first. “Anshin’in-san. I’ve always been with Zenkichi, the current me remembers her entire life beginning on the day I met him. Yet, I still don’t understand what he’s feeling right now… Why did he cut himself up like that?”

“It’s just him being the same Hitoyoshi-kun you always knew. He’s just eager to prove himself, as always.’  
  
“Prove himself? To who?”

“Mmm, it’s like this more or less. Hitoyoshi-kun is somebody who genuinely gets along well with pretty much anyone, right? For some people that would be enough, but for others it doesn’t matter how many people show you love. The only person that matters is that one person. I think he, his friend Komaeda-kun, and his natural enemy Kumagawa-kun are people like that.”

“You didn’t answer my question. Who is that one person?” Kurokami Medaka thought for a moment, she felt a fleeting emotion of jealousy tighten in her chest. _Whoever that person is, is unbelievably lucky._

“Hmm, I don’t know. Medaka-chan when you read a romance novel, and the main couple has a fight, do you just skip to the last page to see if they get together?” She touched a finger to her lips coquettishly. “If you do that, you’re not a very good reader.”

Kurokami Medaka sighed, she considered herself a straightforward person but the result of that was always being led around in circles by girls like Ajimu, and Enoshima. She returned to Zenkichi’s side again to see his eyes fluttering awake, and dully staring at the ceiling.  
  
“Ah… Medaka-chan… sorry if I worried you.”  
  
“Of course I would worry for you. Kurokami Medaka cares the most for her friends after all.” She said, trying to brush off his words again.  
  
He raised an arm and held it in front of his face, staring empty at his hand just dangling there. “I… wanted to be more useful to you, but once again I feel like all I did was make you cry.”  
  
In that moment despite the words of Ajimu still bouncing around in her skull she did not quite make the connection of why it was Zenkichi wanted to be useful to her. She moved to his beside, and reached forward towards his stomach. Zenkichi was too out of it to recoil like he usually did, which made it easier for her to undo and start to rewrap the bandages. She had already copied the talent of the Ultimate Nurse after all. “Zenkichi… I thought you were happy being by my side like this. Is that not the case?”  
  
“I am happy, but I can’t help but think… I’m selfishly imposing. After all, you’re a girl who could do anything. I’m sure… if you weren’t concerned by me, if you weren’t held back, you would be able to handle everything by yourself.”  
  
“I can do everything, but at the same time there’s nothing I can do. There’s nothing I love to do, nothing that I enjoy doing. Even without this tragedy on this island, I wouldn’t have been able to do anything. If not for you, I”m just another piece of trash.” Rather presumptuously, she grabbed him by the head and let him rest his head against her chest sitting him up once more. “Thank you, Zenkichi. I need you, Zenkichi. If you don’t hate me, please be by my side.”

Zenkichi who was still quite out of it, could not properly enjoy the moment. He only only feel a slight warmth pressing against his cheek. He glanced up at her, and then nervously away again. “It’s quite worrisome… but… for now I guess I can stay…”

Simply put, she loved Zenkichi.  
He was the most interesting person of them all to her. She wanted him always by her side, always watching her, she had been loved and admired almost unconditionally by others all of her life but his feelings were the only ones that mattered to her.  
  
Humans were able to change their colors by mixing with other humans. As she looked at Zenkichi, she wondered, with a girlishly fast beating of her heart what color she would be dyed. She was not the only one, as she glanced back and saw an awake Kumagawa now carrying Enoshima Junko on his back through the hallway.  
  
『Junko-chan I don’t think this is safe.』  
  
“You’re the one who said you wanted to support me.”

『I didn’t mean literally.』

“Well, if you wanted to understand me, you should have learned by now how much I love clever word play.” She said, before wrapping her arms around his neck tighter and giggling with her face pressed into the back of his shoulder. 

Yes, she wondered what colors she would continue to witness, as she observed these strange creatures called humans.

 

 ♛

 

“Ehhhh? Why did you stop so suddenly? Are you really that weak that you can’t carry a light model thin girl like me, whose only real weight in her body is in her breasts?”

『No, I just suddenly thought about how much trouble you were causing even when you were confined to a bed. It’s going to be a nightmare once your full range of motion is restored.』  
  
“Oh, so are you going to try to chain me to that bed, then?” 

『Nah.』Kumagawa said almost immediately. 『I like you because you’re free. Even if it causes nothing but trouble, for me that trouble is worth it.』

“It’s because you keep saying stuff like that, that I want to make you so miserable Misogi.” She said, with a dream like sigh as she leaned against him and nuzzled the side of his face slightly. Enoshima Junko, whose pointed claws always dug into her targets, who could wrench whatever she wanted out of others, was being unbelievably soft in that moment touching him so, and that idiot still did not get it.

『You’ve been saying that a lot lately.』

“I have to keep saying it because you don’t listen.”

『That’s not true I heard everything you said.』  
  
The two of them made their way through electric avenue. Junko stopped for a moment reaching out and tapping her pointed finger nails against the keyboard of one of the laptops, making several audible clacks as she did. “So, there’s no internet connection. I guess I won’t be able to check twitter after all.”

『That’s what you were worried about?』  
  
“What else am I going to do late at night if I can’t get into fights with randos on one of my several dummy accounts.”

『Umm… me?』  
  
“I can do both of those things at once, you don’t take up that much of my attention, pumpkin pie..”

『Meanie. Junko is a meanie.』

Junko continued on in her usual ramblings though, ignoring his input except when she felt like listening to him. “Hmm, I wonder if I could set up a localized version of the internet that could juts extend to this island. Then I could use it to vague Kurokami-san behind her back.”

『Don’t you just do that all the time anyway to her face?』

“Yes, but it stings more when it’s behind your back. That’s why I prefer betrayal, a stab in the back is more unexpected result.”

『I don’t think it’s unexpected at all if all you ever do is sting people.』Kumagawa sighed when he noticed the file that was left open on the laptop. The same one which Hinata had read days earlier detailing about the future foundation. He reached out to close the laptop.

  
Suddenly though, his hand was caught by a gloved hand. He thought it might be Mukuro for a moment, before noticing the black fabric also went up her arm. Only one female student on the island dressed that eccentrically so as to wear an all black body suit. “Yo, Kumagawa-senpai, what have you got there?”

『Dunno. I’m terrible at computers. When I encounter a problem with one, I just stick it in the microwave.』

“Well that sounds like you…” She wrenched his hand away and turned to look at the computer herself. Her one revealed eye glanced over the report information, and so did Enoshima Junko’s as well.  
  
“A false report…? What is this future foundation?”

  
“Hmmm… the ruins had the word hope on them, and mirai means Future which is the name of that hotel.” Junko immediately drew the connection, and then blinked looking at the two others. “What, did you guys not notice the obvious foreshadowing the mastermind laid down? I mean, I expected an idiot like Kumagawa to miss it but I’m disappointed in you Naze-senpai, I can’t feel despair that way.”

  
The girl who was always experimenting, simply crossed her arms in response. “I’m too busy trying to make myself miserable, I don’t have time to care about what you feel.”

“Sooooo stingy, and here I was going to let myself have my fun with you for a moment. Now I don’t want to just out of spite.” Brattily, she kicked her legs behind Kumagawa who was still holding her up on his back. In the next moment she had already decided against the opposite though. “Nevermind, I guess I’ll ask anyway. If I died, how do you think I could be on this island, Naze-senpai?”

“I dunno. None of these events are real and this entire island is your dying dream, or some lame half assed twist like that…”

『If this is your dying dream Junko, can you imagine me in a happier role?』

“No way! I like you best when you’re miserable.” She said, reaching forward to pink at his cheek and pull his smile into a lopsided expression. “What if… saaaay, just hypothetically this island were a simulation. Then how would I be able to appear here if I died in the real world.”

“You might not be you, you could just be somebody who had been convinced you were you like a program to imitate you or… if you were comatose rather than dead, or if enough of the brain was still in tact perhaps they just uploaded a consciousness. If it were me, I’d do something like that. The rest of you is worthless, but that brain of yours is interesting... “ Naze licked her lips underneath her bandages. “Even I… can’t help but want to dissect it.”  

The former flask plan’s supervisor, Kurokami Kujira aka. Naze Youka’s favorite phrase is ‘Let’s try it out’. To say she isn’t afraid of failure is an understatement, for her, failure means one step closer to success. In fact the thoughts like ‘Let’s do this properly’ or ‘be careful’ never  occurred to her.

And although she did not remember her brother and sister, at the time she met them she used them immediately as experiments. THe reason she turned one into a potato and caused the other to lose her memory, was because she thought ‘Hey, given the chance I should try out these syringes I’m carrying.’ Even in the middle of a death game, she did not mind too much the circumstances she was in. In fact, Koga’s loss was difficult to swallow, but the current situation is simply the natural consequences of all the events that have taken place.

In a way her mindset was more similar to the impulsive Enoshima Junko than she wanted to admit. She did these things simply because she could. In that moment, she spotted the way Kumagawa already seemed to know about the laptop and began to wonder about it. They were both demonic siblings indeed. She had heard it in the past as well. _You’re really cutting it close you know. Why do you act without a plan? Be considerate for my sake, who has to bear the full brunt of this!_

Of course, the ever observant enoshima Junko was able to snatch this information away from her in less than a moment. “You shouldn’t look so much like you’re enjoying yourself, Naze-senpai. Your happiness right now is coming at the behest of your sister’s misery. You can look at me with lustful eyes all you want but if you do anything to me it’s your sister who will come to defend me. Medaka-chan loves her enemies, doesn’t she?”

“You’re the last person who should talk about enjoying her sister suffering.” Naze growled from underneath her bandages.  
  
Before a fight could break out though, it was Kumagawa who spoke up. 『Eh? But Naze-chan aren’t you the one who erased Medaka-chan’s memories and tried to install a second personality onto her brain?』

  
“Tch, you weren’t even around for that arc. You were supposed to transfer into Sandbox as a continuation of the flask plan but at last moment you notified us you were transferring to Hope’s Peak instead.”

  
Junko tilted her head with curiosity. “Huh? So there’s a possible version of events where we could have never even met?”

『Shiranui-chan filled me in, and, if I transferred to Hope’s Peak my days would probably be more peaceful. To me though, that reality isn’t even worth considering. I’d be unbelievably bored with that peace.』

Junko remembered what had been said a moment ago, and lifted herself up, resting her chin on the top of Kumagawa’s head. “Wait a moment, did you just say you erased your sister’s memories and experimented on her? Even I didn’t think to erase Mukuro’s memories… that’s so cool! You might be cool yet, Naze-senpai! I’ve finally found a cool Kurokami! Do you think you can do it again and upload a less boring personality into her brain this time?”  
  
“Like I care about your approval at all.”  
  
“Avoid it all you want, but we’re similar. You have to know, every path you choose to take makes your sister suffer. That’s what my eyes see at least… do you trust my abnormality?” 

“I don’t trust anything about you!”

“Ah! Good move! Good move! Shutting something out of your sight just makes it easier to move around in the shadows though.”  
  
At that point, Kumagawa had already turned around and started to walk away. Junko could only keep shouting at Naze from afar, until she vanished as an annoying dot on the horizon. When she went silent, a bored look resuming on her face Kumagawa looked up at her. 『Those two get along well, do you always have to stick your fingers in people’s pies like that?』

“How else am I going to taste sweet things?” Junko said, licking her lips as she looked down at him. She readjusted herslf though to lean against him, because she decided she liked that better. Kumagawa’s back was scarred after all, some of the scars were large enough she could feel them through the fabric of his shirt. It was a back that endured suffering, and endured her, and she felt especially comfortable leaning against it and trying to shut out the thousand other things she could observe about the area around them in this moment so she could focus on the sounds he was making. “Mmmm, maybe I can figure out a way to erase Mukuro’s memories using equipment here on this island. Then I can install a less disappointing personality in her body.”

『If you try to do that, I’ll stop you.』

“I bet even Mukuro doesn’t want to be her disappointing self.”

『She’s fine the way she is, besides, that Mukuro is the one you love you won’t have any fun tormenting any other version of her.』

“I want to torment you too, so don’t find any happiness and leave me behind.”

『I know you keep saying that.』Kumagawa Misogi tilted his head. 『Junko, what do you think of the future foundation?』

“It’s definitely a part of the mastermind’s scenario. Any of these early reveals aren’t really worth thinking over though, nothing we find is a mistake or something the mastermind overlooked, everything should be intentionally left for the audience to find, like clues in a mystery novel. If I were the mastermind, that is how I’d play it at least.”

『Ah… you’ve thought a lot about this.』

“Don’t you think it’s impressive? I mean, this Monokuma’s material is alright at times and it’s fun to have an imitator to work off of and compare our individual styles with, but the original really is the best.”

『I think you need to find better hobbies.』  
  
“Hey!”

 

 ♛

 

“Damn! That’s gonna redefine the genre!” Junko said, with tears streaking down from both of her eyes. She was still being carried around on Kumagawa’s back, but this time they were leaving the movie theatre together.

Kumagawa pouted, tilting his head to the side and averting his gaze. 『I wish I could make you cry this much.』

Just then by chance, Hinata Hajime, Komaeda Nagito and Pekoyama Peko were walking by as a group heading in the opposite direction. Hinata stopped, but only because he was worried about leaving those two individuals unsupervised and as usual felt a need to be helpful to everyone. “Did you guys just watch the movie?”

『I thought we were going there just to make out, but Junko wanted to see Monokuma-chan’s masterpiece so she ignored me the whole time..』

“It was true art, Misogi! I felt despair, upon despair exiting that cinema.”

『I don’t normally watch movies but… I guess it wasn’t that bad.』  
  
Hinata’s eyebrow twitched, and he felt his lip quiver in sympathy for the first time for the unknowable personalities in front of him. _You two have such terrible taste…_ He remembered where they were headed and quickly held his hand out to the two. “You guys should come with us, we’re celebrating Hitoyoshi’s recovery with a party.”

“Is it going to be like the last party where a murder happened?” Junko said, suddenly leaning in.  
  
“No.”  
  
“Done! Bored now.” Junko hid behind Kumagawa’s back once more.

『Is everybody going to be there… I’m not really good with… that many people...』

 _He really does have social anxiety!_ Hinata thought, remembering the last time Kumagawa had made an excuse and disappeared from the party. “We’re having it at the Titty Typhoon, it’s the only place that’s gone mainly unexplored.”

『Tiitty Typhoon? Well I would hate it if I didn’t show up and everybody thought I hated them...』

_That contradicts literally everything you’ve said and done up until this point, but okay._

Junko’s hands came around the side of Kumagawa’s face, and her nails dug into his eyes for a moment clamping them shut. “Well I suppose, with that many clashing personalities in one small place something interesting might happen.”

Hinata looked back to Komaeda, and Pekoyama. “You two don’t mind if I drag them along, right?”

Pekoyama nodded, her arms crossed solemnly. “It’s better to keep one’s enemies close.” The moment she said that, her glasses shone obscuring her eyes.  
  
“Yeah, I never got that phrase.” Junko said, shrugging. “Doesn’t keeping an enemy close just put yourself in stabbing range? Well, stabbing would be a good result so go ahead with your dumb philosophy.”

“There’s no way I’d object to inviting an Ultimate. Does Kumagawa-kun have to come along though? Can’t we make him wait out in the dumpster behind the club where the rest of the trash belongs?” Komaeda asked,  looking down on Kumagawa, his colorless eyes like a sudden suffocating icy mist that had fallen on him.  
  
Hinata was so sensitive, he shrunk away from a gaze that was not even meant for him, however Kumagawa did not even budge. 『If you’ll join me there, then I don’t mind.』

“I can’t, because Hinata-kun asked me to watch over him.”

『You mean like a babysitter?』  
  
“No, I’m definitely the one babysitting him!” Hinata snapped as he grabbed Komaeda by the arm and started to drag him forward, “Come on already!”

 

 ♛

 

They had all gathered at the Titty Typhoon, but there was one problem among those immensely talented children. None of them knew how to play an instrument, so their planned party had become quiet and awkward.  
  
Perhaps if one of them present had any sort of normal social skills they might have just been able to talk amongst themselves the entire time, but that too was severely lacking. Junko who had social skills only used them for evil.  
  
Hinata looked at everybody off in their own corners, and then saw Komaeda next to him only looking at him and studying the features of his face “This is bad we should put some music on or something to break the tension. Is there really no one here with a musical talent?”

“There was Mioda-san, she would be here if this killing game was less nonsensical and random with it’s cast choice. Ah, Kurokami-san and Enoshima-san can both play instruments technically with proficient talent but it’s no good.”  
  
“What do you mean? How can they not sound good if they both have the talent for it?”  
  
“I… please don’t ask me to explain it again. The last time I heard it it almost broke my brain…” he touched his forehead then, his brow creasing for a moment. He looked back to Hajime, “What about you, do you remember playing any instrument.”  
  
“I think… I played a recorder once.”  
  
“The most average instrument to learn possible, I see how remarkable.” Komaeda’s eyes looked over Hinata again as if he were adjusting some expectation, and though it worried Hinata to be looked like that he tried to put it out of his mind. He was good at doing at least that.  
  
Just then, Hitoyoshi Zenkichi appeared before the two of them. Without invitation, he suddenly grabbed Nagito Koameda’s arm. “Come on, Komaeda. Let’s play like we did at the school festival.”  
  
“I don’t have any talent for-”  
  
“Who cares, I want to hear your voice! We haven’t gotten to hang out in forever anyway.”

“Hitoyoshi-kun…how can you...” Komaeda sighed, breathless again. “Fine, I’ll just try not to think about it too hard, because thinking of you breaks my brain too.”

Komaeda was pulled up on stage, and suddenly through the silent room the sound of a harmonica’s melody, sliced through and tore that silence apart. It was a melody that was not outstanding on its own, but when the unique timbre of Komaeda’s voice was added to it the two of them reverberated off of one another, and caused the sound to impossibly shine. 

_“We can see again tomorrow”, I laughed, short-lived cherry blossoms in my heart._ __  
_The mist of flowers, tempted by the color of smoke rising, reach destination after a struggle._ _  
_ _Shadow of the flower on the ripples in the water, shuddering and falling below._

Hinata watched as the tension which had been drawn from the drama of the second trial that had irreparably wounded so many people present, began to ease with the sound of Komaeda’s voice in the air.  
  
He wondered if Komaeda was happy, bringing serenity to others like this. That was what he always said he wanted after all. Though, Komaeda was not that talented a singer his voice definitely sounded unique. It was one Hinata certainly could not forget, at least he thought so. Komaeda would only care about talent though, and would downplay his own contribution to setting this scene in front of him. That was why, Hinata resolved after this he would tell Komaeda he did a good job and he would be firm about it. He’d pummel him with the compliment until the other accepted it.  
  
Or perhaps Komaeda did not want to be complimented and that would only hurt him worse, people were complicated after all. Hinata thinking deeply about it, started to scratched at the back of his spiky hair. His fingers twisting up brown hair between them only managed to make his hair even messier than before.  
  
It was then that he noticed, Pekoyama had drawn away from the group and was next to him. He wondered if she was still uncomfortable being around the others now that her secret had been revealed. He would have worried more, but he was already running his brain in circles worrying for Komaeda, and worrying about two people at once might have been too much for his already poor beleaguered brain. _Just say something as long as it’s not dumb._  “Pekoyama, d-did you want to dance?” _Damnit. I said something dumb._

“No thank you, you’re very kind to offer that of someone like me though.”

 _I’m lucky she doesn’t know about the time I thought I had a crush on her. I might have been executed right now otherwise._ “Then… you should spend your time with the others, instead of someone like me.”  
  
“Oh, are you spending so much time around Komaeda that you’re starting to pick up his mannerisms?” 

Hinata reached up and grabbed a stray curl of his brown hair, curling it around his finger in the same way Komaeda always did to think, before he stopped suddenly. “N-no! There’s no way I’d do that. We don’t get along well enough for me to start acting like him.”  
  
“Even if you don’t get along it seems like you’re always together.”  
  
“Well, I can’t stand being around him, and I can’t stand the thought of losing him either, so it ended up that way more or less.”  
  
Pekoyama paused for a moment, putting a finger on her lip as she often did. She tilted her head back, letting her gray hair tied up behind her head fall back a little, reflecting the low light of the club. “Can’t… live with him or without him, hmmm?”

Suddenly, Hinata’s chest tightened so hard he felt like he could not breathe. For some reason that phrase seemed familiar to him. It was like a dream he had woken up from and forgotten its contents, but still remembered the emotions of. Even after you cried and it was all over, the melancholy of that dream could remain. No it was even worse for having forgotten, why that feeling existed in the first place.  
  


_Cherry blossoms, as if to tell about the warmth, the life which blooms and withers in ordinariness, where would it fall?_

Komaeda’s voice drifted in the air, and he felt calmed enough by it to breathe again. At least his uneven heart right now, in a strange way matched the uneven timbre of Komaeda’s singing voice. He kept his hand lingering on his chest, fingers curling with tension as he looked back to Pekoyama. “We got into an actual fight recently though…”  
  
“Did you win?”

“I wasn’t trying to win, I was trying to get him to talk about how he felt.”  
  
“Yes, but did you win?  
  
“What are your priorities exactly?” _She does sound a little bit more like a mafia hitman now. At least she’s being honest around me though, I want to get to know the real Peko._ “I got him to talk, even though I had to push him real hard to do it.”  
  
“I see. I knew I was right to believe in you, Hinata.”  
  
“Wait were you seriously calling bets on which one of us would win? Anyway, that’s a problem in itself though because once you get him started he never stops. I want to know his feelings but… sometimes they’re difficult to hear too.” 

“The young master was like that. He grew up in a very troubled world you know, and he became full of its troubles too.”

 _Komaeda’s had a really troubled life… I know that I just… I don’t know what somebody like me could even do about it._ “No it’s just… annoying. I don’t like it when he says it’s no big deal if he dies.”  
  
“I’ll never kill him at least, because I know it would hurt you if I did.”  
  
“Umm… thanks?” He wanted to believe Pekoyama was trying to be reassuring at that moment. “It’s annoying because, he doesn’t even realize… how much I would care if he died. Doesn’t he get how frustrating that is? When you feel so much… and none of those feelings… even reach them.”

“He did say all of his love was one-sided.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Nothing. So, even after you two fought and spoke your true feelings you still continued to have difficulties.” She assessed the situation, pushing her glasses up on her nose until they shone bright in the low light of the club.  
  
“Yeah, it’s hard to get him to stop talking. Kissing him worked though.”

 _Time comes around and the clock’s hands stops, the heart blooms fully, the rain of cherry blossoms._ _  
_ _The storm of flowers, the sudden wind, I halt and open my eyes the flower rafts over the water’s surface floating away._

Suddenly, for Pekoyama Peko the weight of the words Hinata just uttered caused time within the club to stop. She dropped her glasses to the bridge of her nose, and turned her head to stare at him.  
  
Hinata kept looking forward, with the same empty gaze as usual. He did not even seem to hear what he just said. Pekoyama might have blamed it on the music, but even her esteemed vision of Hinata Hajime acknowledged that the boy was a bit naive.

“Huh?” Pekoyama was normally composed and verbose, but that was all she could manage to say.  
  
“I couldn’t get him to shut up, so I kissed him.” Hinata repeated, assuming it was just a problem with the music being too loud.  
  
“You kissed him?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Did you like it?”  
  
“I mean I guess I-- WAIT!” Only then did everything of what Hinata said occur to him. He was so talented at not thinking about things, he had managed to shut out the small detail that he had kissed Komaeda long enough that when he drew back he still felt Komaeda’s warmth on his lips at the time for several days after the fact.

Not only that, but the moment that Komaeda ran away he remembered feeling empty, like emotions hat had suddenly spiked now dropped… that was… withdrawal? He wanted Komaeda around him? Disappointment? He did not want Komaeda to leave.  
  
Those feelings were warm, but they were almost hot enough to burn. He was boiling over, turning red, things were unclear, and as they boiled and reacted they became even more unclear. Confusion, he never knew how Komaeda felt. Fear, he was afraid if he got too close, Komaeda would disappear. Pain, the thought of Komaeda disappearing hurt him.  
  
Suddenly though, he thought this strange mixture of feelings that left him lukewarm were better than feeling nothing at all. He’d rather deal with this strange mixture churning inside of him, then feel nothing for Komaeda. He wondered why his mind was so firm about that.

 _Cherry blooms, as if to cherish the departing spring, to live an ordinary life, and die together with you. Oh, if that would come true._ __  
_  
_ _If the norther wind and the sun treat everyone equally, when a giant flower (hope) will bloom after surviving the storm._

Still, it was embarrassing! It was embarrassing, it was embarrassing! He had just done it without thinking like he did everything else. Were things going to become awkward between them now? Did he hurt Komaeda’s feelings by not bringing it up? Why did Komaeda not bring it up, did he not care?

He could not imagine Komaeda was the kind of person who kissed others casually, but then again he was a handsome boy with delicate and sharp features. Wait, since when had he noticed that about his face? Hinata looked up then and locked eyes with Komaeda from across the room.  
  
Komaeda singing next to Zenkichi brought a strange amount of confidence in him. Usually, it was Komaeda who avoided making direct eye contact, because he had poor social skills, because he could not read others, because he was afraid what would be on their faces, for plety of reasons. Now though, as Komaeda met his eyes, it was Hinata who found himself shyly looking away and he could not think of one reason why.  
  
_It’s hot._ __  
_It’s cold._  
  
His face was hot, but his core felt empty. These feelings were no good on their own, he felt like he was never going to understand them unless he had Komaeda to share them with. That was what he wanted right, for Komaeda to speak up about his feelings?

He felt lonely without Komaeda right next to him, and he felt stupid for feeling lonely when Komaeda had only been away for a few minutes. Loneliness was cold, that was what he decided.

“Hinata… I’m sorry.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“I should not have brought it up.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“You’re crying…”  
  
“I am…” Hinata had not even realized, he reached up and touched the side of his face. Tears had started to flow from both of his eyes. He was not even sure he was the one who was crying at this moment, as he listened to Komaeda’s voice drift through the air like lonely cherry blossoms. “I… remember… once I was at a school festival. I never once thought music was anything special. No, I hated it because it didn’t sound special to me, but it did for everyone else. Then I heard… someone sing… and I thought…Is this the beautiful music that everyone else hears?”  
  
He stared at his tear streaks hand after he had tried to wipe those fleeting tears away. "How... how could I forget?" 

  
A question there was no answer to, so Pekoyama did not try to answer him. 

  _At the moment I realized, the withering branch had been left behind all alone. Have been broken, wounds decaying, still keeping on yearning, cherry blossoms, as if to fight the approaching winter, until this day ordinary life is devoted, continue blooming like crazy._

He felt incredibly serene just listening to that song.  
Then, one thought crashed through that feeling shattering it in an instant like glass.  
_What if you’re just an ordinary person?_ __  
_A reserve course student…_ _  
_ _Then, Komaeda won’t even bother with you anymore._

Hinata rocked forward with the weight of that thought, and it was Pekoyama always keeping her steady eye on him.  
_  
_ “Hinata. You should ask Komaeda to dance with you.”

Hinata’s face darkened, and his hair fell over his eyes. “No way… trying to get that guy to dance would be too much of a pain.”

 _I want to…_ _  
_ _I just realized right now I want to but..._

 _For now._ __  
_While I still can’t remember my talent._ __  
_While the possibility exists that I might have a talent._ _  
_ _I’ll have another chance later._

He thought, totally convinced of that fact. As usual, Hinata would turn out to be wrong about the future.

In the corner of the same club, Kumagawa Misogi was sitting down leaning against the wall. Sitting down next to him was Enoshima Junko, her head resting on his shoulder and her eyes shut. He had already pulled his uniform jacket off and draped it over her as he had a habit of doing, and he was spending the time trying to undo the knot of the black and white tie he had wrapped around his collar.  
  
Suddenly, over him Kurokami Medaka was standing. Kumagawa did not notice her presence that much, as he was used to people looking down on him after all. Not until she spoke up, “Did she fall asleep? That’s an insult to Zenkichi’s wonderful playing.”

『I told her it was too soon for her to see the entire island, but she never listens. She’s a glutton you know, and greedy as well.』

“That’s not a way to talk about someone you care for.”

『What are you talking about? Those were compliments.』

“Well, at least she can’t cause any trouble when she’s asleep.”

『That’s not necessarily true, she murmurs all her wicked schemes in my ears at night.』

“Hmm, why are you two sleeping so close together? You’re not even married yet.”

『Oh umm… it’s for umm… warmth.』

“I see. I suppose that’s reason enough, Zenkichi and I shared beds when we were younger too.” She paused for a moment before holding a hand to him. “Kumagawa, do you want to dance?”

『Are you asking if I want to fight?』  
  
“Fighting and dancing is the same thing, isn’t it?” 

The smile he gave her then, was sincere, and a bit sad.『The only one I want to fight, or dance with is Junko.』

Medaka remembered right then, that three years ago this boy once felt the same sort of way for her. She was once an important person to this boy, but those feelings never amounted to anything. Now they became nothing. Kumagawa was never one she could write off as a villain though, she could never see him as Junko’s accomplice. “Have you stopped caring about winning against me?”

『The only one I want to defeat is Junko.』

“Why, always her?”

『Junko is… the person I found at the end of my long journey… the person I can’t accept losing… a lot of things but, I think about it like this. You value your friends and your enemies, right? I think the same way. Sadness is just as essential to humans as happiness. I think if Junko does bad things, she should be punished, and stopped, but… I don’t think she needs to die just for being Junko. Because… the world is meaningless anyway, so couldn’t somebody with a mindset like hers be allowed to live? That kind of world would be… more fun I think… a world where both Kurokami Medaka and Enoshima Junko exist.』  
  
“All we would ever do was fight.” 

『You like fighting though, Medaka-chan.』  
  
“So, that’s how you decided, Kumagawa."

『Yep yep! That’s how it is, human.』Kumagawa closed his eyes then nudged the sleeping Enoshima Junko slightly with his shoulder. 『I wanted to look cool and decisive, but that’s impossible with you drooling on me.』

“Mmm… Misogi… keep going, fill me up with despair…’ She muttered in her sleep, not even taking notice to him or the outside world. Kumagawa wondered what kind of strange dream she was having, but decided he was better of not knowing. Even if by all logic and probability he was right, if he had just thought about it a bit more he might not be so oblivious all the time.

Kurokami Medaka however, only found herself confused once again. She really did not understand those precious creatures called human beings, and to her, Kumagawa Misogi was more flawed than anyone else, therefore he was more human than anyone else.

When Zenkichi’s music finally died, the atmosphere that brought them together died with it. They all went their separate ways, going to bed for tonight. Assuming, perhaps even hoping tha Monokuma had just decided to leave the alone.  
  
Those foolish children had forgotten this island was no place for hope.  

 

 ♛

  
The next morning, Hinata wandered into the restaurant rubbing the sleepiness out of his eyes. 

The first sight he saw shocked him beyond belief. “Kurokami-san, you’re crying?”  
  
“I- I’m scared. I’m scaaaaaaaared!” She wailed out.  
  
Suddenly, before he could say anything else he turned back to Komaeda. He had not gotten the chance to say anything to the other last night, even though he desperately wanted to talk to him and he tugged on his arm pointing at Kurokami. “Is Kurokami-san acting weird? I don’t know her that well.”  
  
Suddenly, Komaeda got right in his face yelling at an unusual volume. He had no tact normally but this was just pushing it. “Hinata-kun be careful! That’s probably not the real Kumagawa! He replaced him with a double, that has to be Monokumagawa!”  
  
“...Huh?”  
  
“Y...you,w hat are you saying?”  
  
“It’s unfortunate but a transfer student is going to be arriving soon. So let’s all give that person a warm welcome!”  
  
“You… are you messing around?  
  
“I’m not messing around! I always speak the truth. Listen,carefully I’ve finally discovered who the traitor is. You know the member of the future foundation hiding among us! It’s Kazuichi Souda.”  
  
“That guy isn’t even here… and he sounds just like a comic relief character….”  
  
From the corner of the restaurant a gloomy aura emerged. Hinata turned his head to see Kumagawa huddled in the corner, arms wrapped around his knees as he hugged them close to his chest. “He’s got the liar’s disease. Medaka has the cowards disease. There’s no use getting all worked up and expaserated like you usually do… it’s inevitable.”  
  
“I do not get exasperated!” Hinata said in an exasperated voice. Then, he stopped suddenly. “Wait, don’t you usually talk differently.” 

“It’s just a dumb gimmick to make me seem cooler, but it never works. I’ll never be cool.”  
  
Hinata had no idea what he had woken up to, but he already knew one thing for certain.  
  
“I want to go back to sleep, already!” Hinata said, his voice echoing again throughout the entire island.


	23. The Shadow At Your Feet (8 -Truth Bullet x Lie Bullet)

“Hinata-kun are you sure you’re an Ultimate Talent? Your face is so incredibly average looking. I can’t even imagine somebody finding your face beautiful, or sneaking glances at it and smiling to themselves when you’re not looking.” Komaeda continued to rant, getting closer and closer to Hinata’s face.  
  
Hinata took a step backward unconsciously, and found himself backed up against the wall. Everybody else had arrived at this point to witness the confusing scene, and once again HInata had somehow found himself in the eye of the crazy storm. When his back hit the wall, he gasped and looked at Komaeda still not relenting on getting closer to him. “I-If you hate my face so much, then why don’t you get out of it?”

“I can’t… it’s because you’re smell… You smell absolutely terrible. I’ve never stolen one of your shirts just to see if it smelled like you before, or laid down in your bed just to be surrounded by your scent”  
  
“Well yeah… I guess you wouldn’t do any of those things if I smelled that bad…” Hinata’s eyebrow twitched in annoyance. However, Komaeda continued to come closer and closer, drifting towards him with purpose. Hinata saw the redness in Komaeda’s usually pale cheeks, and mistook it for something else at that moment. He suddenly closed his eyes hard, his pale lips twitching in anticipation. _Ah… it’s warm.._ He thought at the moment of contact. Only to realize that Komaeda in coming so close to him, had only softly, affectionately, bumped his forehead against Hinata’s. Hinata’s eyes flew open and he brushed Komaeda’s curled bangs back and out of the way just to be sure as he pressed his forehead against the others boy a second time. _He’s unbelievably hot… his entire body’s hot… no I don’t mean it like that just in a temperature sense!_ Hinata felt some need to correct himself in his own internal monologue that nobody but him could hear.

“Komaeda! You have a fever.”  
  
“I don’t have a fever !I feel extremely great today!” Komaeda said smiling like an idiot as he continued to rest his forehead against Hinata’s.  
  
“You heard him, he doesn’t have a fever there’s no need to worry about him!” A voice called out from behind them. Hinata turned his head slightly to see out of the corner of his eyes, a bear pressing his soft plush paws against his snout. “Now, continue on with this scene. Upupupu, the twinky boy and the twunky boy are finally going to get it on.”

Hitoyoshi Zenkichi kicked the air right above Monokuma’s head, causing the bear to jump out of the way. “So, you’re the reason Medaka-chan isn’t acting like herself!”

“My goodness! Are you that upset because Kurokami finally gained a personality? I honestly think this is an improvement over her old boring self… Well, since everybody’s here already it’s time for the exposition.”

“It’s the new motive called the Despair Disease,” Kumagawa spoke up from wall he was sitting leaned against clutching his knees to his chest, interrupting the bear. Junko sitting next to him, pinched his cheek for being rude and interrupting their esteemed headmaster.  
  
“Nobody asked you River Bear. Nobody even wants you here, so let me finish up the explanation myself. You know, there are extremely tiny insects that can’t be seen with the naked eye living on this island... “ The bear tilted his head putting a paw on his red flushed cheek. “... It’s not like I added them recently. I just never told you about them.”  
  
“That’s poor storytelling. You need to foreshadow those kind of twists first, it’s sloppy if the narrator just forgets to tell you about them until a convenient time.” Kumagawa’s voice was dry of its usual emotion as he talked again over the bear. His eyes too were not their usual wide eyed faux innocent look, but rather they had been sharpened to a dangerous point.  
  
“You’re not even supposed to be in this game, River Bear! The despair disease is-”  
  
“A really annoying disease where you get a high fever, along with various symptoms that are full of despair. Those symptoms differ based on the person inverting your personality. Nagito-chan has the liar disease, Medaka-chan the coward’s disease. And I… Huh… I’m not supposed to get the disease.” Kumagawa said his voice drifting away as suddenly his heavy body fell to the side and his head rested on Junko’s shoulder. If he had not fainted, it would almost be a cute scene as he looked to be nuzzling her softy. “Ah… Junko… you’re so hot…”  
  
“Of course I am! So quit drooling all over me pervert!” Of course, Enoshima Junko could never endure a cute scene without smashing it to pieces and started to push Kumagawa’s face away from her. “Who gave you permission to touch me?”

“You did when we had sex. You said ‘It’s annoying that you keep staring at me not doing anything like this is a dream. You can touch me you know, I’m real, you should consider yourself lucky a real girl is even letting you touch her.’ Now that I think about it it was actually a pretty arrogant thing to say considering you’re the one who made a move on me at the time,” Kumagawa’s voice said, clearly in front of absolutely everyone without changing his expression once.

Junko, now that her secret had been revealed turned as red as Kumagawa. “Misogi! What are you going to do next, spell it out on the beach so whoever comes to rescue us knows too?” SHe said as she grabbed him by the lapels of his shirt and started to shake him.  
  
As Kumagawa’s head bobbed back and forth he said rather calmly. “Shaking a sick person is no good you know, your bedside manner is terrible. Though I have no complaints about anything else you do in a bed.”  
  
“Shut up, Misogidiot!”

“The rare and annoying river bear has the truther’s disease, I guess?”

“That’s not even a word.” Kumagawa’s voice called out.  
  
“Shut up, river bear!”  
  
“Of course you’d agree with Junko.”  
  
“It’s not like all of you guys are down with the sickness yet, but be careful! Despair disease can spread from person to person like a cold. It’d be awful if everyone got sick…” The bear moved his hands back over his half smile as if he was genuinely concerned.  
  
Naze crossed her arms, her one eye narrowing matching Monokuma’s one eye. “So, then the motive is to change somebody’s personality with the disease so they commit a murder?”

“What a terrible mind you have there, Naze. A killing that occurs while everyone has a completely different personality! Think of all the murder tricks!”

“That’s basically just mind control. I told you Junko… that was bad writing…” Kumagawa said, his deadpan voice getting increasingly hazy as if he was speaking from far away.

Junko stopped shaking him and blinked for a moment. “Hey, I’m not the one who came up with this motive why are you blaming me?”

“I-Is there any way to treat it?” Hinata asked.  
  
“There’s Hinata, back at it again with the dumb questions.”  
  
“That meme is kind of outdated,” Kuagawa opened one eye to say.  
  
“I said it, and I’m the cute and highly marketable mascot that everybody loves therefore it’s relevant again. Don’t you know, mankind lives and dies by the meme?”

“That’s kind of a stupid thing to say… I’m getting secondhand embarrassment just listening to it…” Hinata said, his eyebrows twitching from an unknown source of annoyance.  
  
“I’m sorry! This is my fault, I’m sorry for being so annoying and always getting in the way!” Medaka cried out between panicked sobs.  
  
“I’ve decided! As an apology, I’m going to commit murder! Hinata-kun, I’ve decided you’re the one I’m going to kill, because I can’t stand the thought of you continuing to live. Are there any sedatives somewhere?”  
  
“Ah, I’m pretty sure I found some at the pharmacy…” MIkan said, pressing the tips of her fingers together nervously.  
  
“S-stop it! Kurokami, Komaeda, Kumagawa… you guys stay put!” Hinata said, feeling the need to be helpful again especially in the presence of Monokuma’s meddling. However, Komaeda was still directly in front of him, face centimeters away. Hinata finally ducked away from him and managed to sneak around him looking at the others in worry.  
  
“Maaaaan! Whatever. I feel so great today! This Despair Disease is awesome! Despair! Despair! Despair! Despair! This is awesome you guys should all get it too! We’re all done for! There’s no such thing as hope! We all have to die from this Despair Disease…That’s… the… only...wa..y…” Komaeda took a hazy step towards Hinata. His eyes grew increasingly clouded, pupils seeming to spiral as they looked about… they seemed almost panicked, until they settled on Hinata and calmed. He took one step forward him, and then another, and reached out for the other boy. He looked like he was not reaching for Hinata specifically, but for some far off person. “Your long hair… it’s so ugly…” Komaeda muttered as his fingers spread out just about to touch Hinata. Hinata saw the way Komaeda’s eyes were looking at him, and his mind went blank for just a moment as he thought how nice it might be to be at the center of Komaeda’s eyes like that, to be stared at with such longing. Then suddenly, a moment before Komaeda reached him his legs gave out and he tumbled forward, wrapping his arms around Hinata to break his fall and his head falling limp over Hinata’s shoulder.

Hinata’s eyes widened as he heard the thump of Komaeda falling against him. _This is bad… Why is my heart beating so fast… Am I sick too?_

“Finally, Komaeda-senpai said something that makes sense for the first time in his life. Upupupu.” Junko commented, snickering in the background as she supported the similiarly fainting Kumagawa.

“Komaeda!” The first person to scream out his name was not Hinata who was too much in shock to do so, but rather Mikan as the corners fo her eyes already began welling with tears. “Th-this is bad! Komaeda is foaming at the mouth!”  
  
“I’ve never seen a foam of that color before.” Naze said, uncrossing her arms as her one eyed widened in surprise.  
  
Gundham uncrossed his arms at the same time. “It’s an ephemerally rare color… Normally only found in the depths of the Netherworld sea…!”  
  
“In this case the color doesn’t matter, so let’s hurry up and take him to the hospital!” MIkan announced, uncharacteristically taking charge as she balled her hands up and held them shaking in front of her chest.  
  
“G-got it! I’ll help out then…” Hinata looked down at the feverish Komaeda whose warm body was now entirely supported leaning against him with his eyes closed. For a moment he considered just throwing Komaeda over his shoulder and carrying him over to the hospital like he was a sack of kittens. When he saw Komaeda’s face painfully stir in his sleep Hinata’s own brow creased with worry _I… don’t get it. Why does this skinny boy who's never used a hairbrush in his life suddenly have so much sway over me._

He gently helped Komaeda onto his back, and then wrapped one of Komaeda’s arms around his neck for security. Feeling the boy’s weight pressed against him, and the unusual warmth of his body against his back Hinata lifted up and began to walk forward. With every few steps, Komaeda would sway back and forth on his back, and Hinata felt his heart swaying at the same time. It was just concern for a kid his age dying, he told himself. There was no other special reason he was carrying Komaeda on his back like this, or acting so gently.  
  
He remembered the time he carried Chiaki home on his back. He had just been annoyed at Chiaki’s bad sleeping habits at the time. For some reason this felt much better. Oh, that was right he had snapped at Komaeda he would never carry him on his back even if he was dying. HInata truly wondered what had changed since that time. Why the sensation of carrying Komaeda like this was so pleasant to him, when he should be annoyed at having to take care of a sick person. Why… it seemed like he only noise on the whole island, was the uneven sound of Komaeda’s breathing. Why… he was suddenly so aware of his own quickened heartbeat at the moment.

 _D-damnit. What should I do?_ _  
  
_

 ♛

 

When they arrived at the hospital, Medaka carried by Zenkichi, and Kumagawa carried by Mukuro, on Junko’s orders, Mikan’s voice went up a pitch as she shouted in front of everybody. “I-I will go make the infected change their clothes, and then I’ll have them sleep in the patient rooms.”

“It’s fine I can do it myself, I caused you enough trouble already Mikan-chan. You’re too good for me.” Kumagawa said, his eyes sinking as he sunk further into self depreciation that sounded more like self honesty.  
  
Tears ran down Kurokami Medaka’s face again. “...I’m scared of changing.”  
  
“I definitely want a girl to change my clothes. I’d never want somebody like Hinata-kun to see me naked.” Komaeda said, as he crawled off of Hinata’s back and stubmled forward.  
  
“A-anyway! Everyone else, please wait here!” As she supported the two others, and Kumagawa walked on his own with his hands thrown into his pockets, Mikan and the patients disappeared into the depths of the hospital.

“Damnit… I never expected Medaka-chan would get sick… What’s going to happen?” Zenkichi said, speaking for the rest of the group that was left in the lobby. Which was now reduced to Zenkichi himself, Junko, Pekoyama, Mukuro, Gundham, Hinata, Kyoko, and Naze.

“I would not mind if Kumagawa and Komaeda both retired… permanently…” Gundham said, his uneven eyes darkening into what he would call a fiendish glare.  
  
“Hey, is this stupid conversation going to last much longer?” Junko said, glaring back at Gundham her red nails drumming on the inside of her arm out of boredom.  
  
“If the disease is going to spread by contact the more it spreads the more likely a killing will happen.” Kyoko spoke above the rest of the group, her tone entirely even as she ignored the panicking of the others. “Detectives usually only react after a murder occurs but this time we need to cut it off at the head. We should quarantine the sick, and those who’ve already been exposed to them, so Mikan as well.”  
  
“W-we can’t leave Mikan all alone!” Hinata snapped at her. “That’s way too cold.”  
  
“I’m not being cold, just logical. We can’t all afford to be exasperated loudmouths all the time some of us need to keep their emotions from interfering with their logic.”  
  
“I… I’m not an exasperated loudmouth…”  Hinata said in an exasperated voice.  
  
Junko immediately pointed at Hinata with one of her red tipped fingers as if she were a child tattling. “HInata-senpai should stay behind with Tsumiki-senpai if he’s so worried about her. After all you were practically making out with Komaeda back there, weren’t you?”  
  
“M-making what now?” Hinata spat the words out, further exasperated.

“That’s a good idea, fine then. Mikan, Hinata and Junko will attend to the sick. The rest of us can stay in the motel on the second island, in case the disease spreads through the air at the hotel and cabins in the first island.”  
  
“W-wait, what? I don’t want to work up a sweat taking care of a bunch of sickies, they probably have cooties or something.” Junko said, crossing her arms in a huff.  
  
“Well the thing is, nobody but Mikan and Kumagawa even wants you around so it’s easier on everybody else if you stay in the hospital anyway.” Kyoko explained to her classmate in as analytical a voice as always.

“Fear not… we are not going to abandon you. I shall station myself nearby, in case anything happens. We must be vigilant about protection! I have those who I must protect!” Gundham said, as he posed bringing out his four devas of destruction, one on each hand, one on his shoulder, and one sleeping on his flowing scarf.

“This is obviously a trap you all must know this. Separating the group, or leaving Junko unsupervised both of these things will weaken us as a whole.” It was Pekoyama who spoke up finally.  
  
“I… I can watch over my sister if-” Mukuro began.  
  
Pekoyama interrupted her before she could finish, adjusting her glasses causing them to shine with glare. “I will stay with Junko, Mikan and Hinata.”  
  
“Huh, you too?” Hinata said,  
  
“This life of mine is expendable anyway…”

“Hey, Peko are you sure? You might be endangering yourself, you know?” Hinata said, worry increasing in his voice. He was not sure if he could handle, risking those two people Pekoyama and Komaeda at the same time.  
  
“Hey…Hinata, this might be harsh to say but… there’s no way I could leave you alone, somebody like you needs somebody to be always watching them.” Pekoyama said, her voice softening only for him.  
  
“That’s definitely harsh to say…” Hinata’s spirits fell a little bit.

“Phew… they’ve finally finished changing. Everyone’s resting in their rooms.” Tsumiki said, walking out with a wide smile across her face as she continued to play with her fingers. The unstable Mikan that Hinata had seen days ago seemed to vanish as she threw herself into her work. As she saw everyone standing in the lobby she broke out into tears again. “Hee… Everyone is so kind.. I’m so glad everyone is so thoughtful towards their friends waiting for them to get better like this. Hehehe, we’re all equals when we’re sick. Let’s all work together and do our very best.”  
  
At that moment Naze who had been silently contemplating finally spoke up. “It’s stupid to just wait and see what happens. I can cure the disease in three days, I’m Naze the Human Remodeler after all.”  
  
“Human Remodeler?” Hinata squeaked at such a terrifying sounding name, using his talent as the Ultimate Dumb Question asker.  
  
“If this disease changes personalities then it’s right up my ally, as the flask plan was originally meant to change somebody’s entire personality to make an untalented person into a genius. I’m going to research it on my own, just treating the sick will do nothing we need to cure them.” Naze said as she kicked off the wall and began to walk away. She looked back at Gundham expectantly after taking a few steps. “I said… on my own… Even if you beg me to I won’t let you become my research partner.”

“Hmmmph, as if I would want to become the mad scientist’s mad assistant. Even I, a lord of chaos, do not possess enough madness in my heart for this.”  
  
“You really want to beg me, don’t you?” Naze said, kicking her feet in the air casually as she crossed her arms behind her head.  
  
“Feh. No, I don’t think so.”  
  
“No, there must be something. Think about it again. Me, whom nobody can surpass in remodeling and strengthening the human body, and you who no one can surpass in understanding an animal’s genetics! It’s obvious that you have something to say.” Her eye glowed with demonic fury as suddenly she turned around and threatened Gundham with a needle pointing at his eye.  
  
“Eh! Eh? Ehhhhh!? Will you please let me work with you?”  
  
“Well, since you asked me so forcefully I have no choice but to take you on as a partner.” Naze said, as she grabbed Gundham by the scarf and began to drag him away.  
  
_I guess she’s trying to help everybody, but her personality is too gloomy._ Hinata thought as he watched them leave.

“T-treating will do nothing? It’s stupid? Does that mean I’m useless? Is the disease my fault? Should I apologize?” Mikan began to spiral on her own, her eyes watering again.  
  
Pekoyama softly pushed Hinata forward. “Go help soothe her, this is your strength.”

“That’s nice and all but it kind of just sounds like you’re dumping her on me.” Hinata said, before walking forward to explain everything to Mikan.

 

 ♛

  
They decided to split up into three groups.  
  
Naze and Gundham would occupy the top floor of the hospital researching the disease.  
Each sick patient would be watched over by one of the three volunteers, Junko for Kumagawa, Pekoyama for Medaka because she was the only one strong enough to hold her down, and Hinata for Komaeda. Which left Kyoko in charge of those at the motel, Zenkichi, Mukuro and Ajimu who would try to organize some way for all three groups to communicate.  
  
Hinata was left in a hospital room with an unfamiliar white ceiling, and completely barren looking except for a bed, an IV pole, and a table with a vase on it containing red spider lilies. Hinata had no idea where those had come from, but much earlier Monokuma had placed them there believing them to be thematically appropriate.

Komaeda was sprawled out across the bed, his sleep obviously uncomfortable and feverish. One of his hands fell off the bed, and Hinata stared at that hand for a moment, wondering if it would get cold. Perhaps he could… hold it? He hesitated before the thought could even take hold.  
  
He looked down on Komaeda’s bed as he slept, watching sweat run down his face. He reached forward without thinking, fingers brushing lightly upon his cheek. He did not even realize what he had done, until he saw Komaeda stir. “Ah… sorry I just…” _Wanted to touch you? No don’t say that it sounds weird._

His eyes opened and immediately they sharpened and turned on Hajime. “All alone with Hinata-kun, huh… I can’t stand being in the same room as you.”  
  
“Don’t worry, I’m leaving. You should focus on curing that crappy disease of yours.”  
  
“Yeah, hurry up and go away. I don’t want to see your face anymore.”  
  
Hinata walked out the door quickly as if running away and stared at his own hand. He could not believe a moment ago he was thinking of holding Nagito’s hand by his bedside… when after all this time, Nagito still hated him in secret the same way he did in the first trial. His hand looked empty, and Hinata himself felt empty suddenly. He wondered where this bitter feeling was coming from.  
  
Suddenly though, an annoying voice somehow spoke louder than the negative voices inside his own head. “Are you serious? Like… are you for real? Did you happen to catch the dumbass disease?” Enoshima Junko said, standing in the open doorway of Kumagawa Misogi’s room having been eavesdropping on their entire exchange apparently.  
  
“Do you have a point, or did you just want to make me feel bad.”

“I can do both at once, clowns like me tend to have a point you know. That’s what I love about despair it’s so brutally honest.” Enoshima Junko said, running her nails through the spiraling hair of one of her pigtails, brushing it back behind her shoulder casually as she spoke. “Everybody has a disease that’s the opposite of their normal personality now, right?”

“Except for Komaeda, he was always a liar…” Hinata said, not even making an effort to hide his bitterness.  
  
“God, you’re both such babies. This is literally like watching toddlers flirt.”  
  
Kumagawa spoke up from behind her. “Hmm, I don’t think Nagito-chan is a liar. In my opinion he’s way too honest, because he doesn’t know how to talk to others.”  
  
“He says conflicting things all the time, there’s no way that can be honest.”  
  
Kumagawa tilted his head, his eyes still looking both sharp and tired. “He feels a lot of conflicting things. If his own feelings contradicted themselves, then isn’t he being honest to those feelings? Ahh…I’m a liar so I understand that sometimes a truthful lie seems the most suspicious. Funny, isn’t it?”

“Sorry, I’m not as good at laughing as you two jokers…” Hinata said, trying to tune both of them out.  
  
“Listen you, I’ll try to dumb this down to neanderthal levels for you. He has the liar’s disease right… so if everything he says is a lie and therefore the opposite of what he really thinks then what he just said…”

Hinata’s eyes lit up suddenly. “He… wants me to stay then?” _Why am I so happy about that?_

“Finally, the genius gets it.”  
  
“I think you just did something helpful for the first time in your life, Junko.” Kumagawa said in dry amazement behind her.  
  
“What? No way, I was just trying to bully him because he’s dumb, how did this happen?” Junko’s head snapped back around quickly.

Hinata did not stick around for their usual bickering though as he had quickly thrown the door back open to check on Komaeda on the other side. The other had turned away from him, and curled up in his bed.

Hinata did not know what to say after he had left so suddenly, so he reached forward and took oe of Komaeda’s stray and lonely hands, and wrapped his own hand around it as he sat next to the bedside. Komaeda’s foggy grey eyes looked back up at him. They hovered around his hand for a moment, doing a small and subtle double take as if he could not believe what he was seeing was real.  
  
“Your hands are sweaty, and way too cold. Let go of me…” Komaeda said, in a feverish voice.

“My hands aren’t sweaty!” Hinata snapped back at him, forgetting what he had been lectured about literally a minute ago, which put him on about a goldfish level of memory retention. “W-well too bad for you, I’m not letting go no matter how much you hate it, just to spite you.”

Komaeda’s eyes hovered around his general area again, as if he was searching for something through a deep fog, far off in the distance. Even when they were close, they always felt distant. That was how Hinata would describe the feeling of being around Komaeda in an indirect way. If he were asked to be direct, he would say the feeling of wanting to he closer. “You… you keep coming back to me no matter what, you’re always around me… why do you do that? That’s why… I hate you so much.”

“I dunno… I guess somewhere along the line I realized that everybody else had given up on you, and that made me not want to.” Hinata said as he scratched at his cheek with a curled up finger. Apparently, he thought it was a good idea to honestly converse with the sick person who was forced to compulsively lie by his sickness.  
  
“You don’t want to give up on me?”  
  
“Yeah… it’s like my responsibility.”  
  
“I see. That sounds like what a stalker would say. You’re way too creepy Hinata-kun. Did you know stalkers are convinced they’re actually protecting their victims, even if their feelings are one sided?”

“You’re the last one who should talk about one-sided feelings considering you’re always ranting about them.” One sided was a good way to describe their relationship though, Hinata decided as he stared at the red faced boy in front of him. His sickness was obvious, his forehead soaked with sweat, so much so his hair which was usually a mess became stuck to his forehead. Even looking so dire though, there was an odd sort of beauty about him, at least Hinata thought so. His always pale cheeks were finally flushed with some color, and his white hair was shining with sweat as it fell over a feminine face, the slopes of which curved gently. His white hair which had faded out all color except for the softest touch of strawberry at the tips, had always given him a death like appearance. The way somebody looked beautiful right before they were buried, a perfectly preserved beautiful corpse, that was how Hinata would describe that beauty. Hinata would describe those feelings as one sided, because if he were to tell them to the other boy it was not like he would listen. Those feelings would never reach, whatever far off place Komaeda was at. Even if they did, Hinata doubted Komaeda would care to hear what a boy like him, who had nothing inside of him, and could remember nothing about his talent, when Komaeda himself loved talent above all else.

They would never understand one another, Hinata had decided that in his mind a long time ago. So, he wondered what it was exactly that had him keep trying. He did not even think he had given a sufficient answer to Komaeda’s question of why he never stayed away for long.

Komaeda’s blurry eyes finally focused on him again. “Hinata-kun, are you going to be here when I wake up?”  
  
“Of course I am. Nobody else wants to watch over your ass.”

“Please don’t stare at my ass. The thought of that is unpleasant… and the thought of waking up to you is unpleasant too, so please stay out of my dreams I don’t want them to become nightmares.” He said, as his eyes grew heavy, his body heavy at the same time, as he surrendered to a sleep that felt more like drowning than aynthing else.

“Jeez, sorry for existing I guess…” Hinata said, still not quite getting it. However, just as he had promised, he intertwined his fingers tighter with Komaeda’s and squeezed his hand.

 

 ♛

 

“Well, I’m bored. I’m going to go see if I can trick sick Kurokami-san into killing anybody.” Junko said, turning around on her heel to leave. Before she could even make it a step though, something caught her by the corner of her sleeve.  
  
It seemed Kumagawa who was always reaching out to her, had reached out to her again. She considered how easy it would be to slap his hand away considering he was sick, but she did no such thing.  
  
“Junko. Don’t go… if you disappear from my sight I’ll lose you again. I’m sure that’s why the mastermind made me sick.” Kumagawa said, his voice breathier and more empty sounding than usual.  
  
“God, clingy much? I’m not really into needy guys, Misogi. Though your desperation to be around me and worship me is understandable, considering that I’m me, after all.”

“Yes, you are you. The hypocritical girl whining about neediness when she’s the kind of person who goes ‘Misogi, Misogi fluff my pillow for me. Misogi, my soup is too hot blow on it for me. Misogi I need you to get me a smoothie from the convenience store. Misogi, I got bored and changed my mind about what kind of smoothie I wanted while you were gone you should have anticipated my needs. Misogi can you feed me, I need my hands free to write up this cool execution I just thought of’ with no sense of shame at all.” Kumagawa said as he pitched his voice up an octave higher to imitate her without changing the dry inflection of his voice at all.

“Ugh, fine.” She turned around stomping her boot as she did so, because she was a mature person who was good at handling her feelings. “You better not be more boring than trying to trick Kurokami-san into killing someone.”

“I’m just a stupid self harming person, but I’ll try not to bore you,” Kumagawa said, and Junko found herself irked because normally Kumagawa would smile after saying something terrible like that but at the moment all he seemed to do was scowl and look at her with empty eyes. The Misogi she usually knew had eyes as deep and full as the ocean. This was a definite downgrade she decided. Suddenly, he spoke up interrupting her thoughts. “Do you remember the last time we were in an infirmary like this?”

“Oh yeah… Didn’t we get a fever and some strange symptoms back then too?”  
  
“Yeah, it really was annoying at the time. I kept thinking about how I would have preferred to share a room with Nagito-chan because I liked him better than you.”

“Are you sure you have the truther’s disease? Because what you said right now, preferring Komaeda-senpai to me is literally impossible.”  
  
“That’s still not a word. Still, that day started out annoying, but because of you it became an amazing day.”  
  
“Wah? Why me? I mean besides the fact that my mere presence automatically makes things better.”

“Your mere presence usually only makes things worse. Oh, I guess you wouldn’t notice because you’re self absorbed and don’t care about other people’s feelings, but…”  
  
“Hey.”  
  
“That was the day I fell in love with you.”

“Oh…” Enoshima Junko was the type of person who could come up with 10,000 scathing retorts for any situation, and 5,000 ways to break a person with words alone or twist a conversation in a way that further twisted the person she was speaking with. However, at that moment all she could say was Oh. All she could feel with her entire being was, Oh. Her fingers touched at her lips, as if those lips were delicate things, and they did not belong to a mouth which she had used to devour others easily.

It was not like love had transformed her into a maiden in an instant though, that would be unbelievably stupid. Enoshima Junko, just suddenly became cognizant of her own emptiness. Kumagawa Misogi was a person filled with so much emotion, he seemed to be nothing but pain and strife, and when she saw him struggle with so much it only made her realize how incomplete she was fundamentally in comparison. She who felt nothing, who did things for no reason.

That feeling of being hollowed out though, made her start to desire again. No, perhaps desire for the first time. Even if it was a mistake. She looked at him with envy and possessiveness, which was really the only feeling of admiration a twisted girl like herself would allow herself to feel. She was an empty girl, and she wanted to be full of him, to let his always flowing always changing river of emotion to wash over her, to bathe in that river… this is sounding more and more like innuendo as I go along>   
  
“I thought you were a selfish, spoiled brat, who was stupidly whining about not having any real problems and how life was too easy for her, you were also arrogant and looked down on others as trash despite being the trashiest girl around before that… and uh… all of that is still true. Why did I fall in love you with you again?”

“Oi! Since when did this become criticize Junko time? That time should just never happen, it’s madness.”  
  
“I remember now. I saw you dancing in the rain, and saw your will to live. From that moment back then, I tried real hard to grasp your essence, because I thought the world I had always seen as ugly and cruel, was beautiful because you were in it.”

Enoshima Junko hesitated for a moment, it seemed like everything even her breath and heart stopped as she was contained in that one moment. She was an empty girl, with a boring personality, and as much as she loved herself she also hated herself… a person who was easily bored would obviously become bored with themselves the fastest, as they would always be stuck with themselves, stuck inside their own head, with their dangerously overclocked brain.

Junko’s whole world consisted of herself after all. That was why her whole world was empty and devoid of meaning, just like she was. A serious case of projection through and through. She despised everything about her world, she knew it would be better off destroyed. It was a fact she had known since her birth.  
  
She was the kind of person who truly believed she was born into this world to cause misfortune for others. Every single person she had come into contact with, meticulously and methodically she had done so, she had tried to make their lives worse. Yet, Kumagawa was such a failure, everything went so backwards for him she had somehow in trying to make his life worse made it better. He was the only person in the world who would genuinely think he was happy to have met her, happy that she was born, without her needing to twist them into some kind of cult like worship of her.  
  
Even Matsuda at the end she had managed to twist so much he believed that every happy memory was a lie, that happiness with her was never real. She wondered what was so tenacious about Kumagawa Misogi that he always chose her. No, she wondered why this skinny nothing of a boy, with messy hair and blue eyes, had so much sway over her. It was funny really, laughable, like a punchline at the end of her great big joke of a life. It was so funny, she had begun to smile at him without noticing it.  
  
“That’s why I want to show you the world can be beautiful, because you were so kind as to find me, and to offer your hand to me that day.”  
  
Show her the world was beautiful? There was no way he would ever accomplish that. She never cared about beauty after all she took her own for granted, if the world truly was beautiful she would want to destroy it more. However… a world with Kumagawa Misogi in it was slightly more interesting. She might consider living longer, wanting to see more of a world that could prodce somebody like him with it’s cruelty.“That wasn’t kindness. I was just messing with you, you know. Just using you.”

“Does that have to be mutually exclusive? I mean, you spent all that time with Mukuro-chan and Yasuke-chan. Did you really just only trick yourself into caring about them for the sake of the despair you’d feel later?”  
  
She could not answer that question, as her mind and her body were disconnected things. Solipism was a term for those who believed nothing existed outside of their own minds. Enoshima did not seriously believe that, but it was a good metaphor for what she felt. Disconnected from things, so disconnected, even the chemical side of things, hormones and emotions were dulled for her.  
  
Yet there were times her body definitely reacted even when her mind did not. For instance, her body remembered the sensation of being around someone even when her mind forgot. At this moment, her heart beat quickened, and her hand reached out, fingers entwining lightly with Kumagawa Misogi’s own empty hand that dangled off the bed, even when her mind could provide no answer for his question. At the roughness of his touch she felt her fingers warm. Her body that was always cold in an entropic sense, lacking heat, motion, and energy. She was sure she was so bored of her own existence that even her molecules had stopped vibrating and gone completely still. Yet, his touch was enough to warm her, so much so it felt like her pulse was contained within that single point of contact at her fingertips. “Your hands are sweaty…” She finally managed to mutter.  
  
“What? They’re not sweaty!” Kumagawa whined back at her, some inflection finally creeping into his voice. Her hand traveled to the edges of his hospital robe as she listened to him, opening it up slightly at the waist to peek. Kumagawa’s stomach was completely flat, and she could even see several of his ribs from his emaciated looking slender figure, but at the same time it was covered in all sorts of interesting scars. Her nail gently traced the outside of one of them. She wondered how deeply she could scar a person that had already been cut this much, she wanted to leave a mark worse than all of these, a permanent one that would remain part of him forever. That way he could never forget her. Even if he wanted to he could not make their bond nothing. “Do you remember the next time we were in the infirmary together?” Kumagawa Misogi spoke up interrupting her annoyingly again. She really should stop paying so much attention to him.

If he noticed how quickly she reacted to his voice, how easily she could pick up his voice among all others, it might go straight to his head. She thought about the day he brought up.

_“Well that’s kind of mean,” Junko said, because she did not know how to react. All she could do was stare at the pink on her fingers._

_『I wish I could have done something more. I’ve always, always, wanted to feel more than just fear towards others.』He brought his hand up to his face, and messing with his hair covered both of his eyes with it. 『I’m in love with you, Junko-chan.』_

_This isn’t…_

_This isn’t what I expected._

_He sat up to look at her directly. 『I love, your always sharp nails. Your hair, when it's up or down. Your laugh that only belongs to you. Your faces, all of them. Your smile that covers your whole face when you’re interested in something... I want to love everything about you』Kumagawa closed his eyes, just to avoid looking at hers. 『But… Your red eyes, that look down on everyone and everything. Eyes that look like they’re bored with the entire world, I hate them. I don’t care about poisoned lipstick, or Matsuda, I just couldn’t stand to be kissing somebody looking at me with those eyes.』_

_As Kumagawa got up, she said something that surprised him. Every part of her being was so sharp. The angles of her hips, the pointed ends of her fingernails, the way her eyes looked at others. She looked like the kind of person who could cut through you easily, touching her was like touching broken glass. Yet, she spoke in such a soft voice in that moment. Kumagawa could not even hear what she said, he was too surprised, by the unexpectedly soft Junko._

“Yeah, I guess I remember that day…” Junko said, as she recalled the crystal clear memory to her. Her fingers traveled to her lips, as she felt a phantom tingle.  
  
“That day, when you said something so soft I couldn’t hear… what was it? I’ve always wanted to know, but I’m a coward you see…”

Junko’s eyes averted slightly, her fingers suddenly pressing on her lips hard enough to smear her lipstick. “I said… no you don’t. At the time you said I love you, and I said no you don’t.”  
  
“Dictating how others feel, that’s arrogant… so… it’s like you…I’m a still a coward after all this time using my honesty infection like this… but even if you didn’t believe me at the time, do you believe me now?”

“I…l… you...” Enoshima Junko hesitated again. Then a smile crept up her lips, but this was not the smile of warmth that she had displayed earlier without thinking about it, if that was a smile of an angel this was the smile of a devil, she was the kind of blank existence that could wear both faces equally easily. “You’re trying to distract me aren’t you, that’s why you’re suddenly talking about these icky and boring feelings, and why you’re trying to make me feel like something is all sticky inside my chest. If I get stuck on this, I won’t use your compulsive truth telling to figure out what you’ve been hiding from me.”  
  
“Ah… you caught onto my game. I was hoping a completely self absorbed person like you would ignore my stupid and worthless intentions,” Kumagawa said, his eyes sharpening even further and finally finding it within him to smirk.

 

 ♛

 

He had not been sleeping well lately, at all.

 **_There’s something wrong with my brain._ ** **_  
_ ** **_Someone unscrewed my head._ ** **_  
_ ** **_They’re unwinding my brain now._ ** **_  
_ ** **_They took all the wrinkly parts and ironed them out._ **

**_I can’t think anymore I’m nothing._ ** **_  
_ ** **_Is this an aftereffect of the surgery?_ ** **_  
_ ** **_My brain’s gone completely numb._ **

He dreamt like he was awake despite anesthetics in surgery, and he could feel the hands of others reaching in there, disturbing the waters of his head, causing the to ripple and slosh around painfully.

He never even remembered having so much as his tonsils removed though, so he wondered why he had such vivid dreams of this experience. The worst feeling was not the pain though, it was the numbness.

 **_They take more each time._ ** **_  
_ ** **_They’re going to take everything._ ** **_  
_ ** **_There will be nothing left._ ** **_  
_ ** **_No, there was nothing there to begin with._ ** **_  
_ ** **_I’ve just finally realized it._ **

He wondered who were they, and what would they take? What caused him to have such dark dreams of surgeries he never experienced. Perhaps it was just falling asleep in a hospital.  Wait… that was right, he had fallen asleep.  
  
He was asleep, which was a good thing but.  
His body was heavy, and he felt something hard he was pressed against.    
Hinata’s eyes opened and he looked to the side. Suddenly, the hair antennae which was always crooked in the middle of his spiky haired head straightened out completely in shock.  
  
Hinata was sure he had fallen asleep in the empty bed on the other side of the room from Komaeda, and yet for some reason Nagito Komaeda was sprawled out asleep next to him. Komaeda was further up on the pillow, so right now Hinata’s eyes were right at chest level. His face reddened, and he felt the sweat already beginning to form. Komaeda’s pale hands, his long delicate feminine fingers were wrapped around his face, holding Hinata’s head to his chest possessively.  
  
Hinata was sure he fell asleep in an empty bed, which meant that somehow Komaeda had slept walked over to his bed, and held onto him like this sometime after he had stopped to rest. Hinata’s arm traced the curves of Komaeda’s body, from his fingers, to his arms, all the way back to his chest. When he saw Komaeda’s bare chest, he realized in his sleep the boy’s robe had fallen open. His eyes traveled down and he saw Komaeda’s slender and shapely waste, and the lines that dipped below his waist. Following those, Hinata realized in that moment looking down below Komaeda’s waist that Komaeda was not wearing anything at all underneath his hospital robes.

 _Wow that’s bigger than what I expected, he must have been born lucky. WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING._ Hinata’s eyes quickly doubled back up to the sleeping Komaeda’s face. Normally, even when sleeping Komaeda had a troubled expression on his face, Hinata had come even to read Komaeda’s many optimistic smiles as twisted in a way. Yet, it seemed many of the knots he boy felt in this moment had untied themselves, and the boy slept with a face of pure serenity. Hinata reached out to lightly trace the delicate curves of his shallow cheek bones, without even thinking about it.

 _It’s warm. It’s unbelievably warm._ _  
_ _  
_ He rested his head back, and felt it hit something soft. He did not remember the pillows being that soft either.  
  
He looked behind him and saw Mikan had also crawled into his bed, and was laying behind him, her knee drawn up against him. “I-I can’t breathe?!”  
  
“Mggh… zzzz.”  
  
“M-mikan, you’re tickling me. Ugh… move… I can’t breathe.”  
  
“Ngggh… no you can’t… don’t move around… H-huh?” Mikan was the first to wake up, stirrring. “Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-Hajime?” She skipped like a malfunctioning cd as she stubmled backwards out of the bed and stood up, her hands reaching out for his face. “Hajime, are you okay!? Your complexion is a bluish purple shade! It might be a severe cyanotic reaction. Hajime can you hear me? Get a hold of yourself!”

 _You’re pretty concerned for someone who stabbed me the other day. Wow… I’m not as mad at her for that as I should be. Is my self worth really that low?_ Even though she had finally gotten off of him, she grabbed his shoulders and began to shake him intensely. Somehow that was enough to get his consciousness back into reality, from the dream like state he had been in simply staring at Komaeda’s sleeping body a moment ago. “Ugh!”  
  
“Hajime, are you back? I’m… I’m so glad… I thought you died…!”

“M-me too! I seriously thought I was gonna die.”  
  
“I-I’m sorry. I thought about taking a rest upstairs, but Naze-san and Tanaka-kun both scare me. You were already asleep, and you were sharing your bed so…”  
  
“That doesn’t mean you can climb on top of us… on top of me.”  
  
“Then I’ll be on bottom next time!” Mikan said, pressing her finger to the side of her face as if she just came up with an amazing idea.  
  
“That’s seriously not what I’m talking about!”

Pekoyama Peko who had been leaning against the wall the entire time, but politely waiting to speak as was her nature finally spoke up. “Oh, so this confirms it. You really do swing your sword both ways, Hinata.”  
  
“What is that supposed to mean!?” Hinata cried out back at her.  
  
“Fuyuhiko would never forgive this. Since you three are still high school students and all. Haha, he would have complained about Enoshima-san and Kumagawa-kun if he was here too. We don’t have time for that though… Komaeda stopped breathing while he was sleeping.”  
  
“What?”

All three of their pairs of eyes fell on the boy who was lying still in his bed. Pekoyama readjusted her glasses again. “I know what a body on the throes of death looks like, call it personal experience.”  
  
“Huh? Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh!!!!?” MIkan reacted the strongest, quickly running to Komaeda’s side. “This is bad, now’s not the time for us to rest.”  
  
“Hinata, now’s not the time for you to be pitching a tent! We need to hurry.”  
  
Hinata quickly crossed his legs. “Have a little bit of mercy, Peko!”

“Keep calm, Hinata. He has not died, the body discovery alarm has yet to go off.” Pekoyama said, her voice remaining cold as usual, and cutting clean through the situation like the end of a sword.  
  
Hinata finally collected himself and stood up once ore, rushing to Komaeda’s bed to wach MIkan. In the corner, he saw Monokuma had appeared in the room and restlessly was fidgeting with his two cute paws. “He’s totally waiting for it to happen!”

MIkan finally drew back. “It looks like… his b-breathing has returned… but still his condition is unpredictable and that’s putting it lightly.”

“How lightly? Is it as light and empty as the inside of Hinata’s head, because that’s quite light.”  
  
“P-please don’t interfere!” Mikan said as she tried to push Monokuma out of the way.  
  
“I see his lips twitching.” Pekoyama said, her eyes sharpening underneath her glasses.

Hinata was the first to move, leaning in closely pressing his ear close to Komaeda’s head. His uneven breath tickled behind his ear, making him feel all tingly but he ignored that. “He says, his condition has improved and he’s feeling quite refreshed. Since he has the liar’s disease though and whatever he says is the opposite he’s probably feeling pretty crappy.”

“Wow, did the genius finally get that?” Monokuma said, in between a fit of giggles in the corner.  
  
“Hypothetically, if he were to die from the motive would there even be a class trial? We should consider all of our options.” Pekoyama started, before she hesitated noticing the troubled look in Hinata’s eyes.  
  
“Komaeda’s never going to die, okay! There’s no way I’m going to let him. He’s not allowed to go off and die somewhere without me…” Hinata said, his hands tightening in anger on the bedsheets.  
  
“Nagito… is never going to die! I will save him by any means necessary!” Mikan said, her hands tightening around each other as they were held tight to her chest, her eyes tightening as well squeezing out tears to the very corners.  
  
“I’m sorry for speaking too cruelly, I entrust Komaeda’s life to your strength Hinata.”  
  
They decided to take a breather in the waiting room. When they were alone, Hinata finally felt confident enough to ask her. “What you said about being expendable… you really didn’t mean that right?”

“Hm? Why is that your concern, Hinata?”  
  
“I… I don’t want you to die either Peko. Don’t think you can just quit and go join Fuyuhiko in the afterlife we still need you here.”

“I… I’m not one to leave my responsibilities behind, as useless as I am at fulfilling them.”  
  
“You’re the farthest thing from useless. I really need you okay?”

As Hinata said this, suddenly behind them the ten pm alarm rang over the island’s omnipresent speaker system. Pekoyama glanced at the door from behind her glasses. “I suppose I should decide where I’m sleeping tonight. As for you, which way are you planning to swing tonight?”

“LIke I said… it’s not what it looked like…”  
  
“Hey, hey aren’t you misunderstanding. A hospital is a facility for sick people, so it’s not for lodging or young romantic trysts, you know?” Monokuma said, as he sharpened his claws behind Hinata.

“Y-you too! What are you talking about?”  
  
“Oh, I see your generation has fallen behind on reading things too.”  
  
“That’s a lot coming from a bear that talks like a teenage girl.”  
  
“Shut up! I’m a very manly bear, I’m so many I only care about killing not your human mating rituals. Just read the damn notice on the board.”  
  
“Bossy, bossy.” Hinata said as he walked over to the board and read the paper printed on Monokuma stationery. The stationery was rather nice despite the fact that he hated the bear symbol it used on top and in its corners. “Hospital precautions. Eating and drinking is forbidden within the hospital building. If patients do not be needed to accompanied overnight, stays by non-patients are expressly forbidden.”

“Komaeda’s too unstable he can’t stay unsupervised.” Pekoyama spoke up first.  
  
“Right, then I’ll allow just one person to accompany him.” Monokuma said, his paws held politely at his side as he waited.  
  
Hinata tried to think fo something, his first mistake. For some reason he could not leave Komaeda alone, even if Mikan’s want to help him seemed genuine. “I… I’m sick too! So you should go home Peko.”  
  
“Really, really, really, what are you sick with?” Monokuma said getting right in his face.  
  
Hinata averted his eyes to the side. “I have… the dumbass disease.”  
  
Monokuma paused for a long time. He was like a rat, who knew there was a trap in front of him, but still could not help but stare at that delicious piece of cheese.

 

“...”

  
“...”

 

“....”

 

“...Well, that’s obvious. Since you admitted your condition, you can stay Hinata, but nobody else but Mikan. Which means everybody else out! Especially you two crazy kids, stop defiling my hospital!”

 

He said, yelling in the direction of Kumagawa’s room. Hinata could definitely hear some terrifying creaking coming from that direction.

 

 ♛

 

Junko shook Kumagawa back and forth, so hard that the springs in the mattress were creaking. “Come on already, tell me what you’re hiding! It’s so annoying being outwitted by a dimwit like you!”

“Bossy! Bossy! It’s! Nothing! Really! These feelings of mine are nothing! They’re not important to you!” Kumagawa said, disjointedly as his head was shaking.  
  
“So you’re trying to use lies of omission, and technical truths to cheat your truth telling compulsion. For example, if you believe genuinely that whatever you are feeling means nothing to me, then saying so is not a lie. However, that won’t work if I ask you direct questions. What do you know?”  
  
“I don’t know anything really, remember I’m dumb.”  
  
“That’s way too general. How did you know Rando’s name before he introduced himself?”

Kuagawa bit hard on his lip to stop himself from saying anything. Junko could see he was struggling so much he was starting to bleed from that same lip. She decided to just apply more pressure until he broke, because that would be the most fun to watch.  
  
“How did you know the symptoms of the despair sickness before Monokuma could explain it.”

Kumagawa grabbed the pillow he had been laying on and put it over his face, to stop himself from saying anything more. Junko quickly grabbed at the other side, and tried to tug it away from him. As the two of them fought over it, they looked like a couple of children squabbling.

Junko only stopped when she heard Monokuma’s voice below. “Huh? Rules? No eating, but I’ve been eating in here the entire time. I finished an entire bag of chips today, is our beloved headmaster going to come kill me.”  
  
“If Mukuro-chan did something like that, he’d use any excuse to kill her over it but not for you. There’s no way he’d ever kill you in such a petty way, it’s against his personal code of honor. It’d be like shooting a chess opponent to win the game.”  
  
“What does that mean?”

“This killing game is like a personal chess game between you and Monokuma, and all of us other students are just pieces to be used in the game. I don’t know if I’m a pawn to be used by you, or a knight to protect you but… No fuck I can’t say. Give me my pillow back.”  
  
“No way, that’s the first interesting thing you’ve said all day.”  
  
Kumagawa thought over the rules again. “Not allowing anybody else to stay over night… that’s obviously just isolating people here so a murder can happen, and isolating only one healthy person amongst a bunch of sick weak people to tempt them.”  
  
“See, there’s no way you figured that out all on your own you’re not smart enough. How do you know this?”  
  
“I…bet he’s just installing that rule to separate us…” Kumagawa’s face grew more and more troubled, as Junko continued to pester him with questions getting closer and closer. He knew he was not smart enough to evade her, especially when his condition was like this and he could not longer tell lies the only thing he was capable of doing.  
  
“Yeah the mastermind totally hates that we’re a thing for some reason. Now come on tell me, if I guess it you have to tell me the truth okay? Hmmm… could it be-”

Kuagawa’s sharp eyes centered at her. Before she could even get off her first guess or paint him into a corner with her questions, Kumagawa reached forward and grabbed her by the tie hanging loosely around her neck. “I’m sorry…” He said in an unbelievably quiet voice as he pulled her in, and kissed her right on the lips

An odd thing she noticed was that Kumagawa was almost entirely passive to her actions. She did not mind too much, as she liked to be controlling, but the result was she was the one who always had to make moves on him. Kumagawa almost never was the first one to kiss her, which is why she was surprised for half a second. Then closed her eyes and kissed him back. A long, and twisted kiss, that knotted up the feelings in her heart even worse.  
  
When she finally drew back, Junko leaned forward and dragged a finger across Kumagawa’s lips, smearing the lipstick her lips had stained him with, even further, it mixing with the color of his blood. “So, what exactly did you think that was going to accomplish besides buying you a minute… I’m still going to… going to… going to…”

Enoshima Junko’s eyes went completely blank.

"Hahaha. Looks like you were caught by a classic too, Junko." 

A further step of blank beyond the empty bored look she usually kept in her eyes, this was a void of nothing. “What was I going to do again?"  
  
"You always underestimate me but the difference between us is like night and day. Even if you seek out misery, you grew up drinking clean, beautiful water and I grew up sipping poison. You have to put poisoned lipstick on, but my lips have turned poison. Ahahaha, poison! It sounds just like a classic, so nostaglic! Ah, but don't worry. It's not life threatening." Kumagawa said, sticking his tongue out for just a moment at her.   
  
"I forgot, I said with a cute and girlish tilt of my head. In fact, who am I? The only thing I remember about myself is that I’m a ridiculously cute girl.”

“Oh, she’s narrating in the first person. Then it worked. You got sick too, the forgetting disease."  
  
He smiled at her, a nostalgia tinged genuine smile.  It was only the second one he had been able to manage that day.   
  
"Hello, Ryoko-chan."


	24. The Shadow At Your Feet (9 -Forgotten x Remembered)

Kids place special emphasis on their firsts, you know.  
A first dance,  
A first kiss,  
Their first time, upupu but they probably stop being kids after that point. 

That little girl grew up neglected of many firsts others had taken for granted. The first time somebody had smiled at her, the first time somebody had listened to her, the first time somebody had hugged her without trying to grope at her breasts. The first time somebody touched her, without her needing to offer to them that they were allowed to touch her and use her in any way they please. The first time she was wanted. All of these firsts were neglected in her, until she was around the age of eighteen.  
  
Firsts are formative you know, because we put special emphasis on our firsts. It’s the precedent which all other things are judged. So, for that girl, her firsts became embodied in and one special person. A person who found her by coincidence after a life of suffering. If only… if only the person who had found her first had been a kinder person she sometimes thought. But… by that point she had already been neglected so much she only barely resembled a human being, even kind people were so afraid of her they just avoided her to avoid the discomfort of dealing with her.  
  
There was no one else who could have found her at that moment, Tsumiki Mikan told herself, she was lucky it was somebody as flawed as Enoshima Junko who could be the first person to forgive her.  
  
Evers since the consecutive murders of Kuzryuu Natsumi and Sato, the meager friend group Tsumiki Mikan had finally found at this academy drifted apart. That was fine she told herself, bound to happen anyway as she was merely a hanger on. She was only allowed to stay because she tolerated Ibuki’s personality, Saionji’s bullying, Mahiru’s pushiness, and Sato’s obsessiveness. She went out of her way to praise her friends, former friends, well they never considered her a friend so… she went out of her way to praise those people for their annoying traits and make herself useful to them but they would have figured her out sooner or later.  
  
She had realized that pattern  a long time ago, that the moment she herself was figured out for what she was, she would be thrown away. That was what happened with unnecessary things, trash, people did not befriend the parasites they found on their bodies they got rid of them through whatever means necessary. The best a parasite could hope for was to cling on as long as possible. She knew this, that too was a part of her calculations when dealing with people but at the same time it got a bit lonely when she was abandoned. Instead of hanging out with those girls after hours at school, now she just sat in the nurse’s office as an excuse not to go home. Pretending to study here, she was able to put off the inevitable pain she would face at home for hours at least.  
  
Tsumiki Mikan gave a deep sigh. As she did, she breathed in the antisceptic and sterile smells of the nurse’s office. She liked those smells, because they were associated with the only pleasant memories she had up until this point, or at least what passed for pleasant memories by her standards. The memories of the time she sewed herself up, after others tore her apart. Those were the only memories of healing she had, and of course, she was always completely alone with them. The emories she had of patching others up, they were too weak, too dependent on her to cancel out her loneliness, it was like taking care of dolls, or particularly needy toys.  
  
There were no happy memories that she genuinely shared with others. The only things others shared with her were the scars they had given her.

As she sat on that bed, she heard disjointed angry sounding footsteps down the hallway. The approaching noise made her wince, as she was reminded of the way her father often signalled his arrival with those loud footsteps. It was like every single gesture of his body was violence. When she heard the door swing open, Mikan immediately stopped taking time for herself to rest and sat up. “Umm…Did you want to talk. I have 5,000 topics prepared just in case,” She said bringing her hands to her chest.  
  
“...” The girl stared forward an incredibly dull expression on her face, Mikan looking closely upon the girl’s face to study her features noticed she was wearing contacts that made her eyes look a colorless blue. She had seen eyes like that before.  
  
“Umm…. Did something happen?” Those eyes were just like hers.  
  
“I just wanted to take a nape here. You’re the nurse, right?” In an instant that girl’s entire way of carrying herself seemed to change, she casually looked over her shoulder, rather than dull she was relaxed and approachable.  
  
“Yes, I’m Tsumiki Mikan, the Ultimate Nurse. Pleased to meet you.” Tsumiki said, touching the side of her face with one finger as she introduced herself.  
  
“Yeah, yeah. Enoshima Junko. Is there a bed open? I’m so bored, it’s sickening me.” As she spoke, her bright red lips pulled into a smirk and she changed even further, becoming more and more energetic as she went along.  
  
“U-um….” Mikan shut her eyes tight as she quickly scrambled out of the bed she herself had been resting in a moment ago, to stand up in front of that girl. “There’s only one bed open, so… I’m really sorry, but unless you’re actually sick…”  
  
“Huh… Are you kicking me out?”  
  
“I-It’s not like that, but…” Mikan prepared herself to lose that argument but then…

“Fine, fine. I’ll just sit over there. Are you busy right now? I’m bored, so let’s chat.” She sat down and crossed her legs, revealing more of her legs than what was already showing when she walked in wearing a red miniskirt clung tightly to her thighs. Mikan could see the curve of her thighs where her skin started to redden if she looked closely, but knew she would be caught staring and quickly looked away.  
  
“Y-you want to talk to me...? Really? Are yous sure?” Mikan said, her eyes widening in shock, even taking a step back in her performance.  
  
“What? You don’t wanna?” The girl looked back over her shoulder again, Mikan detected a bit of brattiness in this current persona.  
  
Mikan’s face changed again, a simple expression of joy as she played with her fingers over her chest. “N-no… I’m happy.” She tried to review those five thousand conversation topics she had brainstormed beforehand, but her face strained with the effort as she was suddenly too nervous to think of any of them. _There’s no way she’d want to listen to you. There’s no way you’re worth her time. Just hurt yourself that will be more entertaining for her._ She shut out those thoughts, furrowing her brow even harder. “Uhhh, my ind is drawing a blank from nervousness!”

That girl smiled at her again, she smiled so easily. Mikan wondered just what it was that made that girl smile at this moment, because she wanted to do it again and again. “You don’t gotta try that hard. It’s easy. Just tell me stories about your classmates. I might find them useful one day…”

It was the first time anybody had listened to her, it was the first time anybody had observed her so closely. She was taken in by those eyes.

 _How disgusting._ She thought. _Your eyes, I can see your ulterior motives through them. Clear as glass. I’m very sensitive to performances, because I’m a performer myself._ Back then, too. She noticed the lies of that woman right away. _Enoshima Junko, had pretended to simply wander into this office as a coincidence, and pretended to know nothing about me so our meeting would be spontaneous and become a special memory, her first lie. The entire movement was so smooth and natural as she discussed the details of my classmates that I’d found her second lie. She… she knew who I was right from the start, and every piece of information I told her must have been boring to her. Yet she listened and pretended to be interested._ _  
_

_I knew I was being deceived, but the more I thought of it… a very different emotion blossomed. What a beautiful performance, I thought. Everything about her was so perfect, when she smiled at me, it seemed like she was ignoring the whole world and smiling only at me, her smile reassured me, her eyes truly seemed like they were watching only me. Every single aspect of her act  made me feel exactly as she intended me to feel._

_In comparison I was a terrible performer, one who clumsily tripped on the stage, and forgot my lines again and again. My act that was made to make others like me, always drove them away, even kind people saw through me and kept their distance._ _  
_ _  
_ _If…. if only I could be somebody more like you._

She thought, and that moment of hesitation passed her and Mikan decided to fall and sink rather than continue to tread water.  
_I’m… I’m the only one who can understand you, huh?_ _  
_ _Because I saw through you right at this moment and accepted you anyway._ _  
_ _Does that mean I’m the only one who could forgive you?_ _  
_ _I could become somebody suited for you._ _  
_

Liking someone was…  
Wanting to be like them, to be rid of your own pathetic self.  
Always thinking about how you want to be like them.  
Wearing everything they tell you too, even a bear mask and a maid costume because it pleased them.  
Not getting enough satisfaction as you were before.  
Falling deeper and deeper, until your mind was exactly like that persons.  
Until you craved despair the same way she did.  
Seeing it as the only way your love would be requited.

That was love, right?  
She didn’t know, because this was only her first love.  
  
She experienced a lot of firsts that day. The first time she was listened to so gently, but it was not only once. Enoshima Junko made a habit of dropping by that office and listening to Mikan’s stories. Even though Mikan knew that her stories were boring, she stared in wonder at the girl who continued to listen to her. Even though she knew this person would eventually want something you of her, at first all she asked for were stories.  
  
That nurse’s office, and those long conversations within it became the first refuge she ever had. Before that, at school she was bullied, at home she was beaten, there was no safe place in this world for her. There was no place where she could find comfort. It was because of that girl though that she found her first happy memories.  
  
Even when that girl started to turn cruel, Mikan was endlessly grateful because she could always picture herself back in that office. Junko was a lot different to than everybody who came before her. When she smacked Mikan around, when she put Mikan in that bear mask she could barely breathe in, when she told Mikan to be cruel to others she always comforted her afterwards. She would watch over Junko’s shoulder as she embraced her after MIkan was hurt, and soothed her. She watched Junko’s older sister, Mukuro glare at them in seething jealousy because no matter how much of her sister’s abuse she endured Junko never once embraced Mukuro in such a soft way. Junko was so much different than the others, because Mikan had been hit countless times before but she had never once been comforted. She had never once found comfort and abuse within the same person, only unrelenting abuse. 

Junko was manipulating her in the long run. She showed her records of hospital nurses who abused their elderly patients, and got away with it because their victims forgot the fact that they were suffering. Slowly, coerced thoughts that were already there of the power she would be able to hold over people who were sicker than her, that if she injured them it would make them even more dependent on her.  
  
Mikan could feel it, Junko’s well manicured nails digging into her personality, not even subtly trying to rearrange who she was. However, Mikan did not mind too much. After all Mikan hated the person she was already. When she realized that Junko was trying to make her into a person more like Junko herself, she was happy about it.  
  
If she was able to become more like the person who never hated her, than she could stop hating herself. The person who forgave and accepted her, who gave her value, who nurtured her and guided her when nobody else would. If she could become more like that person, if she could learn to spread despair like that person, she could reciprocate finally all of the love that she had been shown.

Just as she was getting close to that person though, it suddenly happened. She was screwed to a wall, and absolutely everything was reset before her beloved’s dream could be realized. She herself was reset too, her memories stripped away. She attempted a petty revenge on the person who had wiped her beloved from her mind, and then something strange happened.

_She was preparing to pull herself off of the screw, when suddenly it disappeared entirely. Kumagawa had a tendency to act in unexpected ways, but what he did next made no sense at all. He rushed forward and threw his arms around her. 『You’re right. I’m useless, so please, let me become your reason.』_

_“Wha…”_

_『You can hurt me all you want, so please, stop hurting others and stop hurting yourself.』 Her beloved had encouraged her to hurt others for the first time. 『We can never leave each other’s side if you want, I’ll call you Mikan-chan and you can call me Misogi if you want. All of the pain you inflict, all of the pain you endure, I’ll make it become nothing.』_

_“Why? Why are you offering that for someone like me?”_

_『I was really happy when you called me cute, nobody has ever...You didn’t really think you could beat all fiction did you? You were just hurting me a lot to try to provoke me into killing you so you could escape the pain and be with your beloved? I’m sorry but I have to disagree with you. Even if living is nothing but painful, I think you should keep living. If you need a reason for that, I’ll become your reason.』_

_That is what Medaka-chan did that time anyway. I can’t win against her so I might as well cheat and copy her. He repeated it again but stronger this time. Mikan looked at the bloodied mess of scabs and scars that was now embracing her. It made no sense, all she had done was hurt him, but he desperately wanted her to care about him._

_Then, she realized._

_Oh. So he’s like me._

_So he must have lived a life like I have._

_So he’s used to pain, too._

_Then, she felt a little less alone. Slowly, she wrapped her arms around him. She had a well developed body, and she liked to fall into sexual poses for attention sometimes, but the way she held onto him right then was completely platonic._

_It felt like one sibling rediscovering another after a long time, maybe even separation at birth._

_There’s someone like me._

_Even if I hurt them, even if I’m strange, they want to become close to me._

_It was a first time feeling._

She knew everything Kumagawa Misogi said to her in that moment was just a performance too, exactly like her beloved always had. There was one difference though, between the lies her beloved told, and the lies Kumagawa did.  
  
Kumagawa was an extremely kind liar. He lied to tell her the things she wanted to hear, he pretended not to be in pain when she stuck needles in him, he smiled at her no matter what happened. Kumagawa never even raised a hand against her, he gave up things that were precious to him like winning in order to protect her.

All of this was motivated by self interest though, and Mikan knew it from the very first lie he told her. He simply hated the idea of losing in all forms, especially losing others, so he would comfort her as many times as it took to keep her around. He had no idea how to help people improve, only to encourage them to endure and keep living on, because that was all he had ever done.  
  
Yet, she embraced their similiar natures. She let herself be converted from an Ultimate Despair who spread Despair to others recklessly, to a minus who simply called her flaws beautiful things. She tried her best to go along with his lie, because she recognized Kumagawa’s kindness.

Perhaps from the start though it was never going to work out. Their relationship had been tainted with original sin. She knew from the very first lie he told. No, that lie was not _I’ll become your reason._ That lie was, _Your beloved is gone._

She was soon able to piece it together for herself, even when Kumagawa Misogi wiped her memories. That the woman he was always around, Enoshima Junko, that perpetually bored woman was the same as her beloved. It was not Kumagawa’s fault she could not become like him, it was her own, her brain was diseased from the start with the remembering disease. She was always trapped, remembering the pathetic person she was no matter how hard she tried to become like someone else.

 

 ♛

 

As the sun set early on their tropical island, light quickly drained out of the halls of the hospital. Everybody was too busy taking care of others, nobody noticed Mikan as she slipped through the hallway. Ever since she had seen Nagito practically collapse upon Hinata, she became curious about something.

She watched through a crack in the door, as Hinata had probably absentmindedly laid down on the spare bed in the room and fallen asleep without thinking. Even Mikan who considered herself quite stupid and useless thought that was rather careless of him. Well, she could forgive that quality of his, because it was a flaw that they had in common, it was something they could bond and become friends over.  
  
Apparently Nagito had similar thoughts to her, just as she had expected. Hinata was a blank slate, somebody who did not judge others easily. He wanted everybody on the island to like him. He was somebody who could even become friends, with Ultimate Despairs like her and Komaeda. However, Komaeda was already taking it one step further. She saw Komaeda stirring in his bed, and then lifting his head again as he woke up from the short sleep he had fallen into blearily looking around for Hinata.  
  
As he saw the other, Komaeda’s eyes widened in panic. He muttered something about being too warm, which obviously meant he was too cold. Then, he stumbled out of the bed and desperately, leaned on the wall and slowly worked his way across the room. When he was a few steps away from where Hinata was on the bed, he reached out, as if he was reaching out to some far off place, his hand extending out and grasping nothing. Then, he slowly crept into the bed and lay his body down along Hinata’s. Despite crawling into the bed of the other, he was oddly careful never to touch Hinata at all. He wanted to be close, without making contact, and delicately laid himself around the edges of his being. That was the kind of indirect way of getting close to others, tha Mikan had observed from her classmate as long as she had known him.  
  
As she approached though, the two boys laying together, one dark hair and darker complexion, one light hair and colorless faded out complexion, the two of them really did make a symbol of yin and yang as they contrasted each other. As they always pushed and pulled. Komaeda’s feminine curves and soft face, Hinata’s well built body, and rougher face. The two of them lying together was almost a beautiful portrait. Mikan genuinely thought this moment of closeness was beautiful to watch from afar.  
  
The moment she saw that beauty she wanted to destroy it. She wanted to suppress and smother it. If Nagito started to rely on Hinata, he would not rely on her. If Hinata relied on Nagito, he would not rely on her. Those two boys seemed to pay so much attention to each other, to the deficit of everybody else. Nagito especially, the sickness was making him almost entirely dependent on her. The boy who had used her so often in the past, finally was entirely helpless before her because of that weak body of his. If she could just push him a little further, he would be entirely dependent on her with no hope of recovery. Not only that, if he was chained to this bed nobody on the island would miss him. They all hated him, they would think her all the kinder for trying so hard to heal him, even though he was somebody everyone could do better without.  
  
Everyone, everyone would praise her, and Enoshima Junko would see through her actions and realize what despair she had caused Nagito and she might praise her too. Thinking only of that, Tsumiki MIkan reached for a pillow and slowly picked it up letting it hover over Komaeda Nagito’s face.  
  
Komaeda stirred in his sleep, and his eyes widened. She saw those swirling clouds that were always in his eyes, spin further, and tears well up in the corner of his eyes. However, he was too sick to do anything about what he saw was about to happen. Komaeda’s look of hopelessness in that moment, only egged her on further as she realized how in control of his situation she was.  
  
That was all the abused wished for really, a small sense of control, over the unrelenting world that continually hurt them again and again. It was not like she was going to kll Nagito. She was going to nurse him back to health after this. She was doing so much better than the peope who had hurt her, they had all left her still bleeding, let her walk around with open wounds, until she learned to treat her own wounds. SHe was being kind like this, treating the wounds of others.  
  
She covered up Komaeda’s terrified face, and smothered those eyes that looked at her like she was betraying him. He would forgive her, she knew it, she knew that he had just not realized it yet. When she helped him feel better, when she dedicated herself entirely to his recovery than he would see. She watched Komaeda struggle against the pillow before giving up. He really was a meager existence, like a candle with a barely burning flame that could easily be blown out. She remembered there was a story about a shinigami tricking a man into trying to extend his lifespan by relighting a candle, only to watch him snuff it out himself. The shinigami must have known for sure the man would die from the start, the game was just to make the shinigami feel even stronger and more secure than he was before, it put you in an even greater position of power to watch somebody else fumble around and snuff their own life out while they thought you were giving them a chance to save themselves.  
  
She was not the shinigami, there was no way she could be so brilliant, so strong. She was a nurse too, she supported life, she did not snuff it out. The shinigami was obviously that woman, whose nails were so sharp, fingers so precise, she could hold life and death itself in her hands.  
  
Mikan was just doing a poor imitation, a poor act on stage, a poor idea of what she thought others would want as always. The truth was though, even after all this time she had no idea at all. It was something that could not be seen. The reasons why people stuck around each other, the reason why people endured friendships. She had no idea why anybody would have any interest in staying with her at all, unless they were stupid and impressionable like Hinata, or they were dependent on her and she worked every second she could to make them stay around.

Suddenly though she heard Kumagawa’s voice arise from the other room, as he continued his usual bickering with Junko. That was not a surprise, but Mikan had pushed Kumagawa entirely out of her mind to commit to this action. As she heard his voice she remembered, Kumagawa cared about both her and Komaeda. He wanted the both of them to live.  
  
If Kumagawa saw her trying to smother him right now, he would be displeased. The same way he told her she had done a bad thing when she stabbed Hinata. No… it would be worse than that because Kumagawa at that time took the blame for what she had done. If he saw this, he would probably take the blame again and make things even worse for himself.  
  
That boy showed her kindness, and all she was doing was repaying him with trouble. Kumagawa who never raised a hand against her, who had so carefully tended to her wounds, and told her not to hurt herself for his sake. Not only that, but she would be damaging that kind part of Kumagawa who protected weak people because he was afraid of losing them, if she snatched away Komaeda from him. She would be damaging the part of him that she liked.  
  
She stumbled backwards letting the pillow drop from her hands and fall with a soft thud on the floor, she fell much harder and much more clusmily. She stared at her own hands, her bandaged over and over hands still covered with the faint traces of scars. What had she almost done… no, what was she in the middle of doing with those hands?

She should smother Komaeda, because that would please Junko, and the despair of the action would further make everybody else on the island dependent on her. She should help Komaeda because it would stop Kumagawa from feeling any more despair, Kumagawa who suffered just as she did.  
  
No matter which choice she made, she would be displeasing one of the two people who had gotten close to her, who forgave her, one of the two people who she cared about the most. Then suddenly, the words of Ikusaba Mukuro rang in her head. What had that strange girl who had always walked in Junko’s shadow before this said to her.  
  
That she could do things for herself? She… what did she want? What did she want outside of what Kumagawa and Junko wanted of her? She had been paying so much attention to both of them she had completely forgotten about herself.  
  
What did it matter what she wanted anyway. She did not want to be herself, her weak, useless, pathetic self, she would give anything to be more like somebody else. She wanted to change this person, to surrender herself to something else, something somebody could accept.

 _But… but… if I become somebody else and I’m finally forgiven, then they won’t really be forgiving me will they?_ Mikan came to the realization all on her own, forced to think of herself for the first time, as there was nobody else around in the room. Then, a moment later she looked on in horror with what she had done.

_I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry Komaeda. I’ll fix this. I’ll help you. Please forgive me. I… I… I should wake Hinata up, but if I tell him what I’ve done there will go my last chance of being accepted. I should… I should… I… I don’t know what to do when I try to think of what I should do for myself my mind goes blank._

She panicked and quickly, buried her face in Hinata’s back. She fell asleep with tears in her eyes, choking back the terrible remorse for what she had done, praying somehow Komaeda would make it through the night.

When she saved him the next morning, Komaeda whispered into her ear. “Don’t worry, you didn’t hurt me.” She knew in an instant, that she was caught. Yet all she could do, was tell another lie to cover herself. She dug herself even deeper.  
  
Her first action of her own free will, and she had chosen to do something so terrible, and she continued to choose for herself poorly. Her only faint hope was at the end of this she would be forgiven.

 

 ♛

  


I skipped through the hospital, humming to myself. With each skip, my head bobbed up and down, and my hair trailed wildly behind me. Really, I should not have been skipping considering the only thing I was wearing was a loose fitting blue robe, and my head was currently red and dizzy but I continued to anyway.  
  
I skipped without a care in the world.

  **What happened to Ryoko, Hospital Testimony 001** **  
** “Don’t ask me. I was keeping a careful eye on Kurokami Medaka fulfilling my duty as requested when Kumagawa went off on his own with her, and did whatever he did with her. Who knows what those two get up two together, no matter what it is it’s bound to be unpleasant considering who's involved. Huh? You were asking about her new personality? It’s just as annoying as her original one, not worth discussing. I have to get back to my duties, because unlike that helpless girl I want to be useful.”  
  
Suddenly, as I was skipping I saw a stray hamster. The hamster was crawling along the floor, obviously heading somewhere important. Unlike me, he must have known where he was going. I wanted to praise him for this, and call him a good and responsible hamster but I had no idea at all how to speak hamster. Suddenly, I turned on my heel and got on all fours in front of him, not knowing what else to do I barked.  
  
The hamster quickly squeaked back at me and terrified ran away. Hmmm, that was probably the wrong thing to do, right? Apparently, I had forgotten my manners too. 

**What happened to Ryoko, Hospital Testimony 002**

“When Kumagawa cried out for help, and she was passed out I was worried because she was unconscious for so long.  But as soon as she woke up she was all perky and happy, I think it’s because she could sense my love for her. Yeah, yeah, I really like her like this, she’s really helpless but… I’m going to be a good nurse and take care of her.”

As I ran across the hospital floor suddenly I tripped over something. It was probably because I was skipping so recklessly, I did not even care if the bottom of my hospital gown flapped up in the air and revealed what was underneath.  
  
As I tripped I saw my legs fly out underneath me, and the world inverted around me but I was not particularly bothered by this. I raised my hand to my head and watched the world spin. “Whooooa! The world is turning upside down! So fun, so fun!”

 **What happened to Ryoko, Hospital Testimony 003**  
“Obviously her memories have been stolen because she possessed forbidden knowledge. The lords of shadow needed to temper her rebellious spirit and so they sealed away her power. Now that she has no memories though, I need to be wary of her, because she might attempt to steal my position as the main character of this roleplaying scenario.”

 **What happened to Ryoko, Hospital Testimony 004** **  
** “Yeah. Everything he just said was nonsense. It’s more likely her brain is just so overclocked, her personality so strong and consistent the only way the disease could change her personality that was so dominated by her analysis like abnormality was to cut off the power of that abnormality by continually attacking her short term memory and her ability to form new memories. Of course I did something similar in the past in order to negate my sister’s abnormality too but… I regret that okay… I wouldn’t do that again. I don’t want something like that to ever happen again. Yes, I know my sister is sick right now but… Wait why are you asking me so many questions. You’re annoying just like her!”

I looked what I had tripped over, and saw there was another boy lying on the floor. He had black hair hat was overgrown to the point of being shaggy, brushed to the side, and blue eyes. Other than that, his face was completely forgettable, even for somebody like me who always forgot everything so that’s saying something!

When he saw me though staring down at him after pushing us both over, he merely smiled at me.

“The floor is a terrible place to take a nap, you know.” Even an idiot like me who always forgets things, knows something as simple common sense as that.  
  
“The floor is where trash like me belongs though…”  
  
“You shouldn’t say that about yourself, have more confidence!”  
  
“I’m really confident the floor is where trash like me belongs!”

I giggled at his response, then I realized huh, who was this person? I had never seen him before in my life, but he spoke to me like he knew me, and suddenly we were playing off of each other like a two man comedy routine.  
  
“So did you finish?”  
  
“Huh? Was there homework? Please don’t get mad at me teacher, because I forgot.”

“You can’t use that as your excuse for everything, you know.”  
  
“But I really do forget about everything.”  
  
“I know, I know. That’s why I gave you that notebook and told you to ask everybody in the hospital about yourself.” He said, pointing to something that had fallen out of my hands and across the floor. I quickly opened it up, reading through the pages.  
  
That’s right, in my own handwriting I was Ryoko Otonashi, I forgot about things quickly, and currently I was being kept in a hospital treated by several people who had a similiar disease as my own but with different symptoms. My world was entirely narrow… it only consisted of myself. There were other people around me, but despite talking with all of them, I had forgotten them all already and their only record was the few words that had been writing in this book. I flipped to the absolute last possible page and read that first thinking it might be the most important as it was the most recent.

 **What happened to Ryoko, testimony 005**  
“Well… to be honest, when she’s like this she’s kind of cute. Wait, don’t write down that I said that in case she comes back later. What’s my name? Hinata Hajime. Okay, definitely don’t write down that Hinata Hajime said that.”  
  
“Thank goodness, I’m still a cute girl. That’s the most important fact about me right now.”

To tell you the truth though, I’m not too sad being like this. I can’t remember anything from before I lost my memory, so it’s not like I have anything to compare it too. That’s why, I don’t see my forgetfulness as a disadvantage… it’s just a part of who I am.

I guess it would be lonely, living in a narrow world consisting only of yourself, but I’m not alone I’m sure of this. It’s because even if I’ve forgotten everything there’s a feeling I remember. I know for sure there is somebody that I like.  
  
He wants to be a part of my world. I can’t say why I know this, it’s just a feeling. If I were to find him again, if he were to really exist in my world with me, then I’m sure this world of mine would expand.

For now though I am stuck on the ground with some stranger. Luckily though, I am a cute girl. “I’ tired of skipping around, can you give me a ride on your back?”  
  
“Hmmm, what’s in it for me?”

“You’d get a cute girl on your back. People might start to like you more if they think you’re popular with the girls.”  
  
“I only really want to be popular with one girl, though.”  
  
“Well, I’m sure if she sees you being kind to other people she’ll be impressed by your pure and kind heart.”  
  
“Actually, she’s the kind of girl that’s more impressed by my twisted and unkind heart.”  
  
“You might have bad taste in girls then.”  
  
“Yeah… that seems to be the case.” He stood up then. His motion was sudden and smooth, as he knelt down in front of me. Despite his average looks, and his skinny body, he really did look like some kind of prince as he did it. The politeness of his body language was at odds with the whole of his being. He was like a walking paradox, a loser prince. Yet despite that unevenness about him, as I looked at his back it looked oddly strong and inviting. “Come on then, before you forget.”  
  
“You don’t need to be so impatient…” I grumbled as I climbed on his back. For some reason being interrupted as I looked at the features of his back really bugged me, like I had been caught staring at him.  
  
“You’re the last person who should lecture me about impatience.” He said, as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He carried me all the way back to an unfamiliar room. It was a hospital room like many of the others I had visited, but this one had sticky notes placed all over it. I excitedly reached out for one, and plucked it off of the IV bags. It read ‘This is Ryouko Otonashi’s Hospital Room.’  
  
“Ahhh, this is my room what am I supposed to do now?”  
  
“Check your notebook.”  
  
For some reason I trusted his words immediately and checked my notebook again. I am constantly forgetting who I am, and this notebook reminds me. Which is good because, even though it’s troublesome always forgetting things I’d really like to stay myself.

  
There’s a person out there who loves me for who I am after all, if I changed too much he would not be able to recognize me.

 

 ♛

 

Kumagawa Misogi had snuck out of the hospital after Junko collapsed and lost consciousness. He was rather good at disappearing after all. He went to the gachapon machine and spent all his money, until the cruel random number gods finally gifted to him a black and white memory notebook.  
  
However, unlike the one he remembered from the early days of him transferring to Hope’s Peak, this one was entirely blank. He felt bad, because that meant this Ryoko would only be starting fresh with the experiences on this island. He wanted to at least find her old notebook so he could tell her about Matsuda, again. That was the promise he made to Ryoko after all.

He felt Ryoko was going to hate him for his insufficient gift when she woke up, however when he handed it to her she giggled happily and threw her arms around him. “Thank you! Why are you giving this to me? Is it my birthday?”  
  
“No, but I never got you a gift on your birthday so this can make up for that.”  
  
“Ah, then I’m really happy to get a present from you today! I don’t even remember being born and somebody just gave me a present for it, how nice!  Aaaaaah, this notebook is going to be so fun. I’m going to fill it up with so many things!”  
  
She happily went on the ground and started to doodle within the pages. Kumagawa told her it was for filling up with her thoughts so she could retain important things even when she was constantly forgetting. However, at the moment all she doodled was pictures of bears.  
  
_Is her head filled with bears?_ Kumagawa thought, looking over her shoulder. “Wow, those are drawn really well. How’d you learn to draw like that?”  
  
“I don’t remember. Maybe I’m just naturally gifted.”  
  
“I can’t even draw like that and I can remember so well I remember what I’m not supposed to.”

“Then I guess I’m just naturally better than you.”  
  
“That’s probably right… wait, what’s that bear doing?”

She had drawn a particularly cartoonish bear standing in the middle of a well drawn river. She had even put a lot of effort in, wearing down the graphite of her pencil in order to make the bear pitch black. “Hmm, I dunno. I forgot why I drew it like that, I guess he’s fishing.”  
  
“Can I see?”  
  
When she saw his hand reaching for the notepad though, specifically the page with that drawing on it, suddenly she ripped it away fro him. For some reason she felt attached to that one drawing in particular… it felt private, like she had drawn a private feeling that belonged only to her. “No, it’s mine! Mine, not yours okay, mine!”

“Ah… of course…” He seemed afraid to touch her after that point, and turned around. She spent the rest of the time, happily kicking her legs and doodling in her notebook as she sprawled out on the floor, comfortable in the presence of that stranger, even after she had forgotten that he was the one who had given her this notebook.

Just then, a boy with spiky hair poked his hair antenna through a small crack in the doorway. Then his door opened and the rest of him followed. “Yo, I hope it’s not too much trouble asking you to watch over her when you’re already sick.”  
  
“It definitely is way too much trouble, and you should feel bad about your own uselessness in this situation.”  
  
“Hey, just because you have the honesty disease doesn’t mean you have the rudeness disease!” Hinata Hajime snapped back at him. He looked at Ryoko for a moment giggling happily as her entire attention was taken up simply by doodling. “I know the despair disease is supposed to change our personalities, but she’s way different. It almost seems fake.”  
  
“No, that’s the real her. There was a time she was like this in the past as well.”

“She was like this in the past?”  
  
“Wow, you really do like repeating things in the form of a question. I guess that’s something a blank slate would do. When I first transferred here she was like that, not only had she forgotten everything about her past, but she forgot everything that happened to her too a few minutes after it happened.”  
  
“Then… why is she acting so funny?”

“Well, more or less she’s been emptied out of her past, and her past memories, so this is what she would be like if she didn’t have those things.”  
  
“So… she’s not herself anymore?”  
  
“No, of course she’s herself. Who else would she be?”

“Isn’t her thing constantly changing herself though, like she did when she was messing around in the last trial.”  
  
“Yeah… that’s why this can be her, as much as her usual cranky smart mouth self is her. Every Junko is the real Junko.” Kumagawa Misogi’s face showed an honest fondness, and as he described her condition, he sounded like he was gushing about her. “To be honest I don’t see that much difference between them. Enoshima Junko is an empty girl that only cares about herself, Otoyonashi Ryoko-chan is an empty girl that pretends the rest of the world doesn’t exist except for herself. It’s the same really.”

Hinata had wondered what odd curiosity gripped hi to come check on Junko. It was not like he cared much about Junko before this point except for the fact that she caused trouble for most of the island and hurt one of his friends dearly. However, there was something about the idea of losing all of one’s memories that he could relate too. The fact that his own memories were foggy continually worried him. “I’m sure… if you took a person’s memories away they’d change. Ryoko’s a lot different than Junko.”  
  
“Hmm… is that so?”  
  
“Yeah, if you emptied somebody out like that they’d definitely change.” If he could just remember what his talent was, he was sure he would stop being this useless person.  
  
“What if they were empty to begin with, though?” Kumagawa posited the question looking directly into Hinata’s target like eyes. At that moment Hinata realized he might dislike the honest Kumagawa more than he dishonest one. He was way scarier when he was like this.

 

 ♛

 

Hinata could not stop thinking for some reason, what it would be like to undergo such a drastic transformation as Junko had when catching the despair sickness and turning into Ryoko. He had been sent on a run to the pharmaceutical store, and the convenience store for more supplies because his greatest use right now was as a gopher, but on the way back he caught his reflection in the pool waters as he took a shortcut across the hotel.

  
He knelt down at the edge of the pool, and looked to confirm what he saw a glimpse of earlier. The reflection staring back at him had red targeted eyes, instead of his usual dull greens. He placed his hands at the edge of the pool and looked down. “Who are you?”  
  
**“I am you.”** The reflection answered him.  
  
“That’s nothing. That doesn’t mean anything.”

**“It would if you understood basic Jungian symbolism.”**

“I don’t understand.”

**“Exactly. The same result always, you never understand.”**

“You aren’t me… You… you’re something else. You’re just a product of my mind. Monokuma probably infected me with a fever and I haven’t realized it yet and that’s why I’m seeing things I” not supposed to see.” Hinata said as he reached forward disturbing the water. He pushed away the shopping bags he was carrying to the side so he could focus on the water in front of him. As the water began to rippled, his red eyed self faded away, and the dark colors of his hair spiraled into the ripples, spiraling outwards more as heac ripple repeated.  
  
The voice spoke up again in his head, that voice too seemed to be reverberating like the waves in the pool. **“Yes. I am. I am a creation of you. I am what you became… after the experiments… after her. But… I am always you.”**

“No, you aren’t.” Hinata was reaching so far deep into the water that he stumbled forward and fell into it once more. As he sank, he saw that him with the red eyes appear again. This time he stopped himself from sinking all the way and began to swim up.

It was only then he saw that version of himself floating in the water with him, his dark hair moving about like he was surrounded by a cloud of ink. Even underwater his voice was perfectly clear. **“You are yourself. You’re all you will ever be, and you couldn’t even learn to like yourself, and I, I am you.”**

Even if he was not drowning this time, Hinata decided he did not want to talk with this voice in his head anymore. He swam all the way up until the surface, swimming towards the light until he broke out of the water again and dragged himself out of the pool. He lifted his hand up in the air and stared at it. That useless hand of his. He wondered what such an empty looking hand was even good for.  
  
At that moment he saw a pair of legs, one bandaged and one not. “Umm… Hinata? Hinata? Are you okay? Is there a reason you jumped in the pool are you starting to feel feverish?”  
  
A very concerned voice started to ask him. Hinata looked back, his target like eyes looking somewhere else entirely in a way the girl immediately noticed. “Uh… Just thinking…” Normally that would be a good excuse for why he looked so exhausted, but Mikan who had come looking for him after he took longer than he said he would with the supplies was immediately concerned. As they walked back together, she continued to prod him with questions on the way back. “Are you sure you’re breathing regularly? What about your stomach did you make sure not to eat thirty minutes before entering the water? Ah-uhm… Do you not want to talk to me?”

 _Huh? Oh, I wasn’t ignoring her on purpose. I was just lost in thought._ Hinata said, as he looked back up at her his fist balled up underneath his chin.  
  
“Ah… I-I’m sorry. I lost control and said whatever I wanted.”  
  
“N-no it’s fine. Asking someone if they want to talk is totally normal…”  
  
“But… you were making a face like, “I’m totally not in the mood to talk.”  
  
_She’s pretty perceptive. Changing the subject won’t work._

“Just as I thought… I’m a nuisance… or… you hate me for what I’ve done.”

“No, it’s true… I’m just kind of thinking about some tough stuff right now so I don’t know what to talk to you about, but I wasn’t bothered by that or anything. In fact I think it’s fine if you keep talking even if I don’t respond right away. Oh… and about the stabbing I forgot about that I guess… You shouldn’t do that again but if you’re trying to help out all the sick patients I guess we can call that working to redeem yourself. Besides, If I thought you were a nuisance, I never would have talked to you from the start.” Hinata had no idea how to deal with MIkan, so he decided to just lay his feelings out as clearly as possible.  
  
“Haaaaaah!?” She stopped for a moment, even stopped walking to pose in shock. “...Ah, uhm… No one has ever said that to me before… Um… Thank you very much…” She said looking away as she nervously played with her fingers.

“Umm… Can I ask you about something?”  
  
“Hm? I don’t mind.”  
  
“Hajime...did you like school?”  
  
“You mean before I entered Hope’s Peak Academy? Let’s see… I didn’t really like it or hate it… Well actually. I don’t think I liked it all that much, because I didn’t feel anything at all about it.”  
  
“Hmhmmhm, I feel the same way. This is my first time feeling things like “Fun” for myself. Before that I was only ever really having fun with others.”  
  
“Well, right now, we’re not really at school.”  
  
“Even so… We’re all working together and focusing on the same goal… For the first time, I’ve learned that is very fun. I… I’m glad I came to this island. Because we’re in this situation, I feel like everyone is finally acknowledging me for me… And I finally feel useful.” 

_Thanks to this irrational, hopeless, dangerous situation..?_ _  
_ _I never thought I’d meet someone who actually thought about our situation like that._

“...Hey, Hinata-kun? Do you know where you should target someone if you want to effectively torture them.”  
  
_What the fuck._ _  
_ _Why is she staring at me like this do I have to answer._

“There’s no way I’d know that…”  
  
“It’s simple. You can target anywhere, really. As long as you avoid fatal areas like the head and stomach… Those are areas that aren’t fatal but still very painful, such as the shoulders and back.” No, this was not what she wanted to say. She had even gone so far as to find Hajime when he was all alone so she could confess what she had done just to him. Yet, the moment she started talking all of those words begging for more and more self pity slipped out. “You can punch and kick those area,s or even put a cigarette out on them. Repeatedly… over and over… but right now, at this very moment… Nobody is trying to do that to me. Because of that.. This place is like heaven to me.”

 _Ah._ _  
_ _I guess I don’t want his forgiveness after all._ _  
_ _I just want to be told it couldn’t be helped._

“M-Mikan.”  


_Because I told him that horrible story he used my name for the first time. We're closer..._

“Hinata-kun… This is the first time I’ve ever talked about my feelings like this with someone, so… Please don’t hate me…”  
  
“I-I won’t. There’s no way I’ll hate you.”  
  
“Thank you.” _I’m smiling because I can’t help myself. I… I need to tell him. Just tell him please. Tell him it was my fault._

She knew the exact look on Hinata’s face at the moment though, it was a look of ‘it’s not your fault’. The look of pity she was always seeking before. The look of kindness Kumagawa gave her quite often when he repeated those words. Finally she had gotten it, when she knew she certainly did not deserve it this time.  
  
Hinata had already made up his mind, though.  
_It’s definitely not her fault she’s like this_ _  
_ _She didn’t ask to be made into this._ _  
  
_

 ♛

 

Kumagawa Misogi had stayed awake the entire time Junko was unconscious, and also to watch over Ryoko from afar as she wandered around the hospital. He was planning to stay awake much longer, but his own past was working against him. He had been homeless for several years and as a result he could fall asleep on almost any surface. It really was too bad the only things he was good at were considered useless talents, because he could have been the ultimate nap taker.  
  
When he opened his eyes though, all trace of Ryoko was gone except for the sticky notes she left behind. He saw her notebook on the floor as well, and immediately worried she had forgotten to take it. Even tired as he was and not resting for more than a half an hour he still forced himself to stand up on his own and took the memory notebook off the floor.

The combination of a fever, and lack of sleep was doing his waking self no good though. The moment he stepped out into the hallway, he began to dream even while awake again. That was what he had called his recent habit of talking to hiself. As he saw his shadow extend behind him once more and smile back at him.

『Wow, you really don’t learn anything do you? You literally saw this go wrong for Matsuda, and now you’ve stumbled into the exact same situation.』

“...”

『Well, I guess it’s different this time. Junko loved Matsuda, but she doesn’t love you. You were secretly hoping she did, didn’t you? You were hoping she’d remember you when she forgot everything else, as proof she cared about you the same way she did Matsuda. You’re even worse than him really, doing this to someone who doesn’t even love you.』

“Will you shut up, you are such a broken record.”

『You can’t force your desire to be loved on her. You know that’s not what she wants.』

“Hah. Funny how you seem to think you know her so well.”

『Well I do.』

“If you say that again I’m going to kill you.”

『She needs to have her freedom. Anybody who tries to keep her tied down is my enemy, Monokuma, Kamakura, and even you. She just-』  
  
Kumagawa suddenly punched the wall. It was rather ineffectual and he did more damage to his own knuckles causing him to bleed. “Shut up! I’m sick of hearing you talk about her! When I want something, I’ll do whatever I need to win! I’ll make sure she sees me. I.. I know it, I fucking know okay? How can I want to own her like that? I love how free she is, but at the same time I want to take her away from everything.” Kumagawa turned around to shout questions at the shadow that was following it.  
  
Except nothing was really there.  
He was only talking to himself.  
He had no answers to those questions.  
He was just arguing into an empty hallway.

Kumagawa sighed in the face of that emptiness and turned away continuing to look forward. When he finally made it to the end of the hallway, he saw Ryoko standing in the doorway to Komaeda’s room.  
  
She had an extremely confused look on her face, and her eyes were almost crossed with how hard she was thinking. “Are you sure you two aren’t dating?” She asked, looking at both Nagito and Hinata who was sitting by his bedside.  
  
“I told you! We’re not a couple!”  
  
“Hmm, I dunno. You look like a couple and if you told me before, I probably should have told you I’m very forgetful.”  
  
Hinata paused, “You… did.”  
  
“Wow, and you still expected me to remember? You’re kinda dumb, huh? Well that’s unfortanate for you but it has nothing to do with me.” She paused for a moment, before her eyes went cross again as she observed the two of them and seemed to be thinking very hard. “Hey… is that your boyfriend?”  
  
Hajime’s brow furrowed as he made a face that looked like he was severely constipated, and decided to stop answering her. Apparently, she had been hanging around them asking this same question, forgetting she asked it, and asking it again for awhile. Kumagawa had no idea why she had gone to bother Hinata originally, it was probably just the left over Junko in her wanting to bully him.  
  
“Wow, you’re really fun to talk to, Ryoko!” Komaeda yelled delirious from his bed. Hinata did a double take, once again forgetting due to his own affliction of the dumbass disease that everything Komaeda said was the opposite.  
  
“Huh? Thank you! That’s really sweet but there’s already someone I love.” Ryoko said, and as she mentioned love, she covered her face with her hands to obscure the reddening of her cheeks.  
  
“I’m very attracted to you!” Komaeda called out at her.  
  
Hinata did another double take. “Umm… wait… do you not like guys anymore? That’s kind of inconvenient timing…”

“I’m sorry I’m going to have to turn you down. Like I said there’s already someone.”  
  
“You mean Kumagawa?” Hajime blurted out, noticing Kumagawa there standing right behind her in the doorway.  
  
“Hu?h? Why does that name make me feel weird. I’m all light headed.. Huh? Huh? HUh? Oh… Hey… Why are you in this hospital room spiky head? Are you visiting your boyfriend.”

Hinata grabbed his own spiky hair and nearly pulled his antennae so hard it threatened to fall out. Which would have been too bad because he would miss out on his chance of interrupting radio signals with that stupid stuck up hair of his. He looked back to Kumagawa and mouthed ‘Please help us’ ready to beg even somebody he hated for mercy at this point.

The voice at the back of his head muttered.  
**“This conversation is so repetitive. How boring.”** **  
**

“Sssh you…” Hinata whispered back quietly.

“Ryoko-chan, it’s time to go you’re bothering them.” Kumagawa said speaking up behind her.  
  
“Huh? Huh? Huuuuh? How could I possibly be bothering them? I’m such a cute girl.” Ryoko turned around on her heel, completely shocked at this revelation.  
  
“They only like cute guys though…”  
  
“Oh, because they’re boyfriends right?”

Hinata looked just about to scream. He stopped himself, when he realized that Ryoko in this state had completely forgotten about Kumagawa. In concern, Hinata walked up to him. “Are you sure… you’re okay with this? I mean, the person you like forgetting you?”  
  
Ryoko immediately looked to Kumagawa with excitement. “Huuuh? Is there somebody you like? Tell me, tell me, tell me! I don’t even know who you are, but I love gossip!”

“The person I love… Well, the first time I fell in love with her she had red hair and didn’t love me back. So I decided to support her love. Then, she changed her entire personality, and I fell in love with her new personality too.”  
  
“Huh? What are you some kind of stalker.”

Kumagawa smiled at this. “No, it’s more like… even if they’d forgotten all about me, I’m sure I’d just fall in love with them all over again.”  
  
As he said that, Komaeda suddenly looked at Hinata. Hinata could see out of the corner of his eyes there were tears welling up. He immediately ran to Komaeda’s bedside to take care of him, wiping at his face with a cloth. For some reason the tears kept coming.  
  
“It’s okay… I know Ryoko’s very annoying but that’s no reason to cry…” Hinata said as he took care of Komaeda.  
  
Kumagawa offered Ryoko his back again and carried her the rest of the way out of the hospital. When they were back to their room, he handed her back her memory notebook. This time, he made sure to watch her closely. That was reason enough not to fall asleep.  
  
He saw her doodling, but this time she was not doodling bears but rather faces. Leaning over her shoulder, he got curious again. “Who are you drawing over and over again like that?”  
  
“I’m drawing the person I love of course. I have a method of determining what they look like. When I get closer to their face, my heart beats faster and faster. I’m going to keep going until I remember what he looks like… It’s like you said even if you forget everything your feelings are the same.”  
  
“Did I say something like that? That was a while ago, I’m surprised you remembered that.”

“Remembered what?”  
  
“Exactly.”  
  
Kumagawa looked at the faces she was drawing. It was of a young man with black hair, and wide eyes. They looked a bit familiar, but even in his honesty forced state he really did not believe something like that. To the very core of his being, he did not believe that anybody would love him. “Oh no, you’re wrong. I’m not the person you love. You’re drawing the wrong person… There’s no way… I could… be loved…”  
  
“Huh? What we were talking about? Wait, don’t say something like that, that’s a super gloomy thing to say!”  
  
“I guess I’m a gloomy guy.”  
  
Kumagawa Misogi said, as he let his eyes drift close once more. When they opened again, it was because Mikan was shaking him. He suddenly snapped awake looking directly at her. “What? What? What?”  
  
“I did something bad.”  
  
“Be more specific. You do a lot of bad things.”  
  
“Hey! But also… I kind of let Ryoko out of the hospital.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“I thought she’d hurt herself and... “  
  
“What?? So she’s just wandering around anywhere? I can’t… I can’t let her go free like that.” Kumagawa said as he stumbled to his feet. He grabbed his black jacket and threw it around over his shoulders. “She’s going to disappear… if I don’t… I gotta…” He murmured as he quickly ran out of the hallway.

_Ah. I should have remembered._

Mikan thought as she watched him go.  
_I can’t do anything right._


	25. The Shadow At Your Feet (10 -Bravery x Cowardice)

“Aaaaaaaaaaah! No, no, please no more needles. I’m scared.”

The noble, proud, beastly lioness Kurokami Medaka, now acted like the cowardly lion as she pulled blankets around her and retreated to the furthest corner of her bed. When she saw a hand reaching out for her, the strongest girl in the world merely flinched and started to shiver.

The hand reaching out for her hesitated, along with Naze Youka the girl it belonged to both hesitated. Naze had barely any memories of her sister’s shared childhood with her she had gone to great lengths to erase those herself. The only Medaka she knew was the one she met in highschool, but considering how stubborn that girl was she was likely always like this. Brave, fearless, undaunting, and yet now all that beastly woman could do was tremble in front of her own sister.

“Me-Medaka-chan…” Kurokami Kujira said, stuttering out the name she had never once used before but her sister had asked her to use. Perhaps something like this would get through to her sister even through the layer of madness the disease had afflicted her with. “It’s me, Kuji-nee, remember? I’m not going to hurt you.” Even when she was at her lowest moment, in the middle of a despair induced rampage, hurting others to make herself more and more miserable her sister had believed in her unwaveringly.

“I remember… You injected me with needles, stole all of my memories, hurt my older brother, and you enjoyed it the entire time. Sc-sc-sc-ary. My sister is such a scary person. You hurt me and you never even apologized, you’ll just do it again.”

Naze Youka spun the needle around in her hands. The words Medaka shouted at her right now were absolutely right. As an older sister, all she had done so far was take Medaka’s generosity for granted. Just like everybody else, she was dazzled by her younger sister’s splendid personality. Despite the fact that she was the older sister, she had been saved time and time again. She had become dependent on Medaka’s brilliance rather than her own, and because of that when she witness her sister’s personality stripped away by that disease, when she no longer had that light she had no idea what to do.

“Yeah… you’re right. Nothing you said is wrong. Even if I hate unnecessary baggage, like family, privilege, happiness… it was nice having my older sister look up to me still even though I didn’t deserve it.” Kujira sighed, and then snapped her fingers. Behind her, Gundham Tanaka  appeared and quickly jumped up on the bed to confront Kurokami. He deployed all four of his hamsters to distract her. As Kurokami loved animals , she quickly tried to pick one of them up.  
  
“That’s why… I want to be useful to you now, because I can do the things you cannot Kurokami-san. I’m the only one who can get my hands dirty to solve this disease, even if it makes me miserable.” As she said that, she finally stopped spinning the needle in her hands, and drew blood from her sister despite her sister’s whimpering cries.

After they had finished drawing blood, Kurokami Kujira exhaled releasing all the tension in her body at once as her and Gundham stepped on the other side of the door. “How annoying, the real Kurokami-san would have volunteered to let me dissect her if it meant saving the others, but with that disease she can’t even handle a single needle.”

“Is your heart sure about this? Betraying your own blood is considered the ultimate taboo. Once you’ve tasted that poison you can never go back, you’ll walk a lonely road for the rest of your days, wearing the forbidden mark of cain on your face as a signifier of your deeds.”

“Of course I’m sure of this… the real Medaka-chan would trust me. It’s just the disease talking.”  
  
“So, you’ve steeled your resolve to commit yourself to the dark arts for the sake of the people you love. Do you know what lies in their heart though? Can you truly know? Every single person’s heart hides an inner darkness of which we cannot fathom.”

“You think I don’t know my own sister?” Naze glanced back at him with one eye. She remembered in the past a time when she was her absolute worst self.

She watched her sister struggling to stand, beaten up but still smiling proudly and defiantly as ever. Her sister narrowed her eyes and looked at her. “You should be happy, big sister. Your experiment is a success.”  
  
Kurokami Kujira with both eyes showing now merely crossed her arms after a long pause. She had sought to remove the abnormal capabilities of Kurokami Medaka, but that girl’s tenaicty still remained. “It doesn’t look like a successs to me. You’re moving like normal.”  
  
“That’s right. I can move normally.” That girl said casually shaking her hand. Even with poison running through her veins weakening her, she did not let an ounce of it show. Her gaze was as proud of a lion’s just like normal, and his eyes sharp enough to cut as she glared back at her older sister and koga. “And normal is more than enough! If an abnormal loses their abnormal conditions, that person will become normal!”

  
Neither Naze nor Koga had ever cared much more normal people, they had both obsessed with the abnormal and spent their lives chasing the extraordinary. It was her sister who was even more abnormal than herself, who held an odd fascination with the mundane. She desired the things normal people took for granted, a normal life, a normal childhood friend, a normal brother and sister.  
  
Yet she could never really be normal could she? Even after Naze had gone through so much effort to neutralize the end and strip away her abnormal, her abnormal tenacity remained and she easily defeated Koga in one blow. Her personality itself was abnormal. She stood up, gripping her own arm in pain and exhaustion. “Sorry to inform you, my brother and I are built differently, with him once you get passed his abnormality all you have is a sick. Even if I lose my abnormality, it doesn’t hurt or even itch! It does hurt though.”  
  
Naze laughed from the sheer absurdity of what she was seeing. “Your little ‘Medaka Box’ is meant to solve people’s problems, right? I bet you came down here to solve all of your problems, right? Hahaha… Can siblings really be different.” _If I want to understand her, I just need to cut deeper with the knife. More, more, ore. I’ll experiment even more. If that’s the case then how about I experiment on her way of living._ “Okay, blood sister I’m throwing in the towel. I admit my loss. Here’s the antidote, I’m giving enough for both of you so please forgive me.”

“Medaka-san! Do not accept that! No abnormal up to now has ever admitted their loss! In all likelyhood that’s not the antidote but another type of drug!!”  
  
She tossed the two needles over, ignoring the voice of that other boy interfering in her experiment, an uncontrolled variable. “That’s your beloved friend’s input on this situation, what are you going to do? Are you going to doubt me?”  
  
Medaka aught the needle, and without even a moment of hesitation she immediately injected herself. “I’ll believe you!”  
  
“Med… Medaka-san! What do you think you’re doing!? Everything she’s done to you has been deceitful! You’re always like that! Why do you always take what people say at face value? How many times are you going to be deceived before you learn?”  
  
“...” her sister grit her teeth. “It’s not like I don’t get where you’re coming from, as you say that but. Even if I were to be deceived a billion times, by a billion different people, I would never doubt someone I like.” Kurokami medaka turned her head and locked eyes with her sister. Despite possessing such a fearsome gaze, her smile in that moment was gentle and honest. Then, she collapsed immediately on the ground.  
  
“Medaka-san… you’re such a… Naze-san! Did you hear all that just now? She knew she was being tricked and she still believed in you! Even though you’ve lost your memories, don’t you feel anything from tricking a person like her?”

  
Naze merely touched the side of her cheek, eyes looking dull. Things went so according to plan in that moment she almost seemed bored with the scene that unfolded in front of her. “Truthfully? No, not at all. Well, I guess you could say I”m glad it went well, because I did all that knowing she would simply walk into the trap I laid for her. “ Her tongue fell out of her mouth, her entire face looking disgusted as her eyes started to spiral in the despair she was drowning herself in willingly, her sister’s feelings unable to reach her at all. “I won’t doubt someone even if I know I’m being fooled? That’s downright foolishness.”

In the present time, Kurokami Kujira looked back at Gundham. “That’s right, I know exactly the kind of fool my sister is. She would trust me even now… at least I think I do.”

“If you don’t… that’s fine too. Everyone has their own little internal world - a secret dojo only they can enter. Each world follows its own laws- individuality. That’s why the land of man is such an insane one. The logic of one world means nothing in another. Understanding other people isn’t hard… it’s impossible. That’s why I prefer animals, all animals must bow down to the laws of nature.”  
  
Waiting outside the door to go back to assisting Kurokami, was Pekoyama Peko. She glanced up at Kurokami Kujira through her glasses. “I’m not exactly sure what Tanaka-kun is saying, but I think I agree. It’s possible to spend your entire life by somebody’s side and still not understand the until it’s too late.”

“I…I…” _I need to be brave like Kurokami Is…_ Naze thought before suddenly she grabbed another needle and held it right at Pekoyama’s forehead. “Unless you want to get yourself infected with the disease and volunteer in her place, I suggest you stay out of it. You too, Tanaka-kun you’re the one hoarding four valuable guinea pigs.”  
  
At this, Gundham gasped a look of total betrayal on his face. “The four dark devas of destruction are hamsters, not guinea pigs! As if I would be arrogant enough to attempt to tame those foul vagabonds of beasts.”

  
“I might be expendable, but I’d rather avoid throwing my life away right now. It would make Hinata-kun upset, and he’s already exasperated enough as it is.”

“Right, sorry, sorry.” Naze withdrew her syringe and then placed her arms behind her head casually starting to walk forward. “Let’s just go back to the lab already, hopefully it will be less annoying up there.”  
  
Gundham still followed close behind her like a shadow, looking at her with his uneven eyes in concern. “Are you sure your mind is not troubled? If you have any inner demons, I would suggest ascending to the astral plane in order to confront them directly.”  
  
“Although I don’t remember it, she’s my blood sister and I’m forced to make a guinea pig out of her just to cure her. Of course I’m happy, I’m Naze with Nothing after all. This is what you call stoic! This is what you call heroic!” Naze said, as she looked back at Gundham, forcing a smile. Finding a reason to smile even while sinking to your lowest point, she was a true minus after all. “Everybody’s going slowly mad in this hospital, but something amazing can only be made after seeing hell. And Because you’re miserable, you do the unexpected. I still live my life following those phrases. So… I’m sure at the end of all this suffering a miracle will happen I’m positive It’ll happen, it’ll happen… even if I have to make it happen.”  

  
As an Ultimate Despair it was not like Gundham could judge her. He was just concerned. When she hurt her sister like that, when she was forced to watch her sister cower, Naze seemed to be hurting more.

  
Gundham knew quite well what it was like to taste poison, to be isolated, and even though he had already resolved himself to swallow poison alone he still did not like seeing it happen to others. He could not poison his foolishly kind heart completely, or so it seemed.

 

 ♛

 

Just when she thought she could find peace in her makeshift lab on the top floor which she had claimed entirely for herself and Gundham, something annoying this way came. Enoshima Junko, or whatever she was calling herself now had somehow wandered into their lab and as managing to touch everything.

  
She stood next to Naze, poking at the knife that was sticking out of her forehead. “Hey, hey, hey. Is that a real knife? Doesn’t that hurt? How are you not bleeding right now? Why are you wearing bandages around your face? Were you really badly injured or something?” She continued to pester and poke.  
  
Until Naze at the back of her mind considered using Enoshima Junko as an experimental doll rather than her own sister, or just sedating her. The two were similar enough she would make a good substitute. She decided against it though, knowing how upset it would make her sister to know somebody else suffered in her place. Naze finally batted Ryouko’s hand away with a black hand. “It is a real knife. Yes it hurts that’s the point. The bandages soak up the blood. I already told you the reason why.”  
  
“You did? Wah? But I totally forgot about it.”  
  
“That’s too bad for you then. I hate repeating myself for idiots.”  
  
“You’re not being very sensitive to my condition.”  
  
Naze suddenly snapped and reached for a scalpel at the talb,e throwing i as a warning. It cut through the air and went straight past her ear, embedding in the wall behind her. She let out a yelp and jumped back, finally giving her breathing room. “W-why was there a knife thrown at me!?”

“Shut up.” Naze said in a chiding voice.  “How did someone as annoying as you even get in here. Huh? Why are you of all people acting so scared over a little scalpel. Did you catch the annoying disease as well?”  
  
“W-wait a moment! It’s discriminatory to keep calling me annoying?”

“And who are you going to report me to? The Japanese Association of Annoying People? That kind of place is discrimination just by existing.”

“I… I don’t remember how I got in here…” Ryoko said in a panic, before suddenly her eyes went blank again and she looked directly at Naze. “Wait, I have a question for real this time. Why are you wearing a cape?”  
  
Naze Youka, hoping to feel like her old self had put on the black cape she used to wear as manager of the flaks plan. However, she was self aware enough to know what wearing a giant black cape made her look like. “Th… this is the outfit I wore as Black White, okay? It’s not Chuuni, it had a very practical purpose of hiding my identity and I can’t afford to wear my normal clothes when I’m around a disease that I don’t know how it spreads…I need to keep as much of myself covered as possible… yeah that’s it.”  

Ryoko’s red eyes narrowed on her in judgement. “I don’t know, it seems pretty Chuuni to me.”  
  
“If you forgot everything then how do you even remember what a chuuni is!” Naze snapped back at the girl  
  
“Black white, fuhahahaha! So that was the demon name by which you were adressed! Now that I know your true name, I shall be able to call to you any time and speak directly to the heart.’ Gundham Tanaka however was thoroughly enjoying it behind her, crossing his arms and grinning from ear to ear.  
  
“It’s not a demon name, it was just a dumb codename I got assigned. I didn’t even like it, it was super embarrassing. Though… they did call the demon queen as well but it’s not… it’s not chuuni.”  
  
“I should have known from the start demonic blood ran through your veins, otherwise my heart would not beat so when I first saw you. What a terrible gathering for this blood feast we have tonight, a demon queen, an ice dragon, and you the empty shell left behind.”

Ryoko tilted her head, the same way Junko always did when she was confused. Though, as Ryoko she found herself confused a lot more often. “Huh? What do you mean an empty shell? Wait, do you know what happened to my memories?”  
  
“Of course I do! I am the holder of forbidden knowledge, seer of the unseen after all. Clearly, you were previously possessed by a foul demon, when a high ranking monk came and exorcised you. Now, you have reverted to your previous, pure self, before the demon took control of you.”  
  
Ryoko watched at him with wide eyes, taking it all in. “Wow, I’m pure? I never would have guessed.”  
  
“Pure evil, maybe…” Naze muttered from behind them as she went back to her work.

“Still, I never thought I would encounter such high level forgetting magics. Truly a worthy foe of the prince of ice! Come out foul sorcerer and face me!”

“Wait, what? I thought you said it was a demon doing this, now it’s a sorcerer? This scenario is changing way too fast. Y-you’re really going to rescue me? Thank you, Tanaka-kun.” She said, as she jumped behind him to hide.  
  
“Yes, good stay back. Now give your power to me, so I can charge an attack. Naze, you lend me your power as well!”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Fine then, we need to combine oh forgetful one. My ice magics with your own. Do not worry even if you have been reduced to a level one character with no experience I shall become your master.”  
  
“Oh, thanks master! How do I give you my strength?”  
  
“Just raise your hands in the air and surrender your energy to me.”  
  
“So you mean like the spirit bomb?”  
  
“N-no, it’s nothing like the spirit bomb! How do you even remember dragon ball if you forget everything?”  
  
“There’s no way I could forget my two true loves, dragon ball and uh… whatever his name is.”  
  
Gundham for the first time felt sorry for even someone as despicable as Kumagawa, if he had to deal with a girl like that. The two of them struck a pose together, Ryoko playing along mostly because she lacked the memories to know better and simply took him at his word. “I shall now charge my power, haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”  
  
“Is it working?”  
  
“Yes, the more you yell the stronger you become. It’s the same kind of logic that the cooler the names of your attacks, the stronger they become.”

“Oh, I see, I see, I’m learning so much about the world today I’ll try not to forget that.”

“Now, I merely need to peer into the aether with my cursed eye in order to find our hidden foe.” He covered his one eye with a bandaged hand, and through his heterochromatic other red eye began to look around the room. Finally, his serious gaze landed on the door. Just as he pointed right at it. “Aha, reveal yourself my enemy!” The door swung open.  
  
“Huh?” Hinata stood in the open doorway looking dumbfounded. “Oh, there you are Otonashi. We had to split up to go looking for you -aaaaaaaah!” Hinata was interrupted when Ryoko immediately emerged from behind Gundham and tackled him to the floor. He had no idea what was happening, he just knew that suddenly a cute looking girl was holding him in a headlock and he felt awkward about it.  
  
“I’ve caught him, master! I’ve caught the person that stole my memories!”  
  
“I didn’t wipe your memories! I don’t even know how to do something like that. I don’t know how to do anything! Get off me please…” Hinata said, his face reddening worse and worse as the side of Ryoko’s chest pressed against the side of his own face.  
  
“Hinata is correct. You shouldn’t tango with him, he possesses an unknown magic sealed deep inside of his being that’s more powerful than the rest of our talents combined.” Gundham said, nodding solemnly.    
  
“I see, I see.” She did not really understand, but she let go of Hinata who quickly scampered away and pretended like she totally did understand, nodding just like Gundham did.  
  
"Wait, what kind of power is that?" Hinata said, immediately curious for what hidden potential Gundham saw in him.   
  
"The power of friendship!" Gundham answered immediately.   
  
"That's a lame sounding power," Ryoko said.   
  
"Hey! It's my power not yours!" Hinata snapped at her.   
  
“Just leave those two alone. As long as Tanaka-kun is keeping her busy she won’t wander anywhere else.” Naze paused for a moment, “...Probably.” Naze did not look too concerned by the prospect of Ryoko getting lost though.  
  
Hinata looked back at the two who had been infected with the chuuni sickness, and then decided Naze would be the safer person to talk to at the moment. There was also something he could not stop thinking about (a rarity for him). “You’re called the human remodeler, right?”  
  
“I have many names.”

“Whoa that’s such a cool thing to say.”  
  
“I’m not trying to sound cool!”  
  
“A-anyway, did you ever experiment on people in the past like..maybe a surgery to turn a normal person into an abnormal person?”  
  
“That was the ultimate goal of the flask plan but it was never completed. Abnormality is something you’re born with though, such a procedure would require reconstructing the body from the ground up, the side effects would be overwhelming and painful.”

“S… so what about me? You’re an expert on studying those kinds of things right? Do you think you could help me figure out what my talent is… I… I think I’d be way more helpful in this hospital if only I knew what I was good for.”

Naze glanced over him with her eye once. “Hmm, well you look like a good for nothing to me. You gave me the same vibe Kumagawa-senpai gave me when I first met him.”  
  
“N-nothing! You could at least say I have a cute face.”  
  
“You’re not my type.“  
  
“Sorry I’m not chuuni enough for you.”  
  
“I’m not into Chuuni-fine then, there’s an easy way to determine this. The last time you took the abnormality test it gave you no result right? Well, if Komaeda and Zenkichi were there at the time and their luck interfering powers might have messed with the results. That’s why I don’t touch luck it’s unscientific.”  
  
“Kurokami-san told me that you knew a guy who could shoot lightning when you were working for the flask plan.”  
  
“It was very scientific lightning okay!” Naze said as she put down the slide, and pushed away the microscope she was looking at. She left to retrieve a goblet and a dropped a set of dice inside.  
  
This time, Hinata let the cup spill with no hesitation. He wanted to find out who he was fast, so he could be more of use in this high pressure situation. As the dice hit the floor though he got an even worse result than last time. Every single die landed on a one.

“A minus… how could I be a minus?”  
  
“There’s nothing external about you that seems like a minus but, hmm…”  
  
“Maybe my body got changed somehow when they took my memories.”  
  
“I doubt that. Abnormalities are internal qualities you’re born with, they can’t be changed watch.” Suddenly, Naze took out another scalpel and threw it straight at Ryoko who was busy practicing a cool sounding laugh with Gundham.  
  
“Fuhahahahahahaahaha!”  
  
“Heheheehehehehehe!”  
  
“No, more distinct. Your entire body should echo the madness of your soul when you laugh.”  
  
“Hyoyoyoyoyoyo!”  
  
“You’re trying way too hard.”  
  
“Upupupupupu.”  
  
“Now you’re just laughing like that fiend, really what a weird sounding laugh.”  
  
“I’m sorry-Wah! What was that? Why did you throw a scalpel at me again?” Ryoko said, dodging easily even though she had not been paying attention at all.  
  
“I was worried that you might forget that I threw a scalpel at you, so I decided to remind you.”  
  
“Oh really, you were worrying for me? How considerate of you. No, wait a second!”

Naze stopped paying attention to her again, and turned her attentions back to Hinata. “See, even with all of her memories gone her abnormality analysis stays in tact because it’s an internal quality that can’t be changed.”  
  
“Internal, huh? I don’t even know what’s inside of me…” Hinata wrapped his arms around himself, trying to ignore the emptiness he felt, to hold that together even if it was nothing he still needed to do it.   
  
“Well, you might have failed anatomy but usually people are filled with squishy organs.”  
  
“I know that much at least!”

“Listen, that need of yours to always be useful reminds me of someone. Even normal people can possess abnormal qualities.”

KOgami Itami was a Junion in Hakoniwa Academy, and also a part of the 13 party. However, she was the only one in the flaks plan who wasn’t born as an abnormal. She was as normal as they came, during testing period she would always be in the middle of the class rankings. Her physical abilities weren’t anything to talk about either. She was as normal as they came.  
  
And it was because she was so normal, that she started to mutter: “Hmph, there’s nothing more than normal in this world.”  
  
There are no superheroes, and no evil societies, no falling meteorites or alien attacks. Nothing crazy happens, everything is normal. Normal uniform. Normal friends. Normal lunch. Normal conversation. Normal first love. Normal rejection. It wasn’t that this world only had normal things happening, it was just that she could only do normal things. As she turned 15, she realized how normal she was.

But, in her final year of middle school due to her father’s normal circumstances, she transferred schools and it was due to that transfer that her way of thinking changed drastically.  
  
By meeting the girl who was always getting picked on, Naze Youka. A girl who sat maongst garbage, with insults and curses written on her desk, and a bag on her head that had die written just over where one of her eyes should be in Kanji.  
  
She was oddly oppressed more than others, she was oddly lonely, and she was oddly odd. And truth be told, it was only said that she was picked on. The words ‘die’, ‘don’t come back’ and ‘go to hell’ weren’t said to her because she was hated, but because she was completely feared by everyone. It was her overwhelming presence, that was a step away from suppressing the school.  
  
Of course, at this time Koga didn’t know anything, including that Naze was the leader in pyrotechnology, she didn’t even know her name. However, her efet and mouth moved naturally, and she said.  
  
“Please, do something crazy with me!”  
  
In the present time, she crossed her arms looking up at Hinata with one eye. “Koga-chan was as normal as they come, however her drive to become an abnormal was abnormal. Well, if it wasn’t for her passion, she wouldn’t have lived through my surgery that remodeled her entire body. Perhaps, the same is the case for you, even if you are normal you possess an abnormal drive… or in your case if you’re a minus you must possess an abnormal inferiority towards others.”  
  
“I…” Hinata did not know what to make of what she said. The Ultimate Person Who Wanted to be Special sounded like less of a real talent than the Ultimate Yakuza. Yet, he realized such a gloomy and asocial girl had told that story from her past to try to comfort him.  
  
“Listen, even though Koga-chan was a normal person, she called out to me when everyone isolated and picked on me. It made me extremely happy. That was enough. You don’t need to be extraordinary…”  
  
“R-really?”  
  
“You just need to be willing to plunge yourself into hell with somebody else.”  
  
“Ah. I see. I see. Wait a minute!” Hinata said, having another delayed reaction. _This girl really is gloomy._ He paused for a moment, and then stared at Naze. “Wait. I have another question.”  
  
“So any questions.”  
  
“Well there’s lots of things I don’t know okay! Why are you always crossing your arms like that? Are you trying to look cool?”  
  
“Huh. No. Putting a bra on is a pain in the ass, so I don’t wear one. That’s why I always have my arms crossed to hold them up.”

“I see. I see.” Hinata said, before immediately falling backwards.  
  
“Wow. For a pervert who was fooling around with Tsumiki-san, you’re very pure. I was just joking you know.”  
  
“Did Peko tell! I wasn’t doing anything I swear!” Hinata cried out immediately, before feeling even more embarrassed for his overreaction, and scratching at the side of his cheek. “I just don’t have a lot of experience with those things, you know, or maybe I did but I forgot about it.”

  
“I can’t believe I have to deal with two amnesiac idiots in the same day, I’ve hit an all time low.”  
  
“Jeez, sorry. I’ll leave you alone.”  
  
“You’re way too sensitive. Not knowing things is the first step to learning them. If you have questions just ask them.” She said, scratching at the black hair that stuck out between her bandages. “I said just ask them already!”

“I…” _I don’t want my question to sound dumb, so I should think about what I’m going to say before I say it. That way things won’t be awkward. Come on, you can do it._ Hinata psyched himself up, before just immediately blurting out what he wanted to say anything. “How come I know I like girls, but I’m starting to think I like guys, do I not like girls anymore?”  
  
“Oh, that’s easy. A subset of human organisms experience arousal and attraction to both sexes. Studies suggest it might be far more prevalent than modern society would have us believe, and present in tons of historical societies.”  
  
“Explain that in words I can understand please.”  
  
“There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s perfectly natural. Even if it doesn’t fit the definition of normal you seem to carry in your head.” Naze said, before gesturing with her hand at him. “If you’re attracted to someone, shouldn’t you talk about it with them instead of me? That will probably clarify your feelings more than I ever could.”  
  
“Y...yeah. You know what, you’re a nice girl after all Naze!”

The moment he said that, Hinata immediately had a scalpel being held at his neck. “If you say that again, I’m not responsible for my actions.” Naze growled at him.  
  
Hinata’s eyebrow twitched. “Uhhh… Otonashi I think it’s time to go now. Huh? Otonashi?” Hinata turned his head to see that nobody was standing next to Gundham Tanaka.  
  
Gundham was preoccupied playing with the four hamsters that were running around his body. In particular he was giving one scratches on its head, an important and sacred duty. He looked up, and saw the empty area where Ryoko used to be. “Fiend! She used her shadow sneak to escape my animal like senses of detection. I was seduced by her charm, and because of that y senses dulled.”  
  
“You can just say you were distracted dude…” Hinata said with an exasperated sigh.

 

 ♛

 

“I feel so useless, just hiding in this motel while everybody else is sick. I should be protecting Medaka-chan while she’s like that, she’s so afraid of everything right now…” Zenkichi said, right before he person he was sparring with wrapped her arms around him and immediately pulled him into a suplex slamming his head hard into the ground.  
  
“Hmm?” Mukuro said as she let go of him, letting Zenkichi’s legs collapse upon the ground. She looked at Zenkichi just lying there, and noticed he had changed a lot over the course of this death game, it was probably affecting somebody like him harder than anybody else. He was a good friend of Makoto’s, so Mukuro did not want him to feel bad. _What would Kumagawa say in this situation._ “You’re right, you are useless Hitoyoshi-kun.”

“You don’t have to rub it in…” Zenkichi whined like a kicked puppy. Usually he sounded more like an energetic puppy.  
  
“You didn’t let me get to the encouraging part! I’m trying! Uhh…. you might be useless, but I’m sure Kurokami-san loves you because you’re a loser who always tries way too hard.”  
  
“Sh-she…” Zenkichi’s face turned red, and he suddenly began to play with his fingers looking like a shy maiden. “Do you actually think she likes me?”

“Wow, you got over that easily. Now you’re just acting like a flustered teenager.”  
  
“I… I am a teenager.”  
  
“Oh right. Sorry, sometimes I forget that we’re kids. I never really got to live like a normal kid, or grow up normally, or do anything at all normally really… but, even by my standards I think you’re doing your best so cheer up Hitoyoshi. Moping around is out of character for you, you gotta keep trying too hard because that’s your archetype.” Mukuro said as she held out a gloved hand towards him.  
  
“Yeah, cheer up Hitoyoshi!” A voice spoke up from behind both of them. Both Mukuro and Zenkichi looked behind them to see Enoshima Junko standing behind them, imitating Mukuro’s pose exactly down to holding her hand out.

They both decided to ignore her interruption however, and continue having their moment. Enoshima Junko got enough attention as it was, Mukuro thought, though she would die before saying that out loud. Hitoyoshi took her hand, and she helped him up. “You know…You’re a pretty good girl for Naegi. I’m glad he met you.” Suddenly Zenkichi’s face darkened. “I’m never going to forgive him for getting a girlfriend before his mentor though… that cheeky little brat.”

“N-no way… there’s no way that could be true. Makoto’s way too good for me, but thank you for being kind enough to lie about that.”

Zenkichi noticed how little Mukuro thought of herself, and decided to put on a performance to distract her. He was never brave for his own sake after all, all this time he had tried so hard, and been so brave for the sake of Kurokami Medaka. “From now on, if a devil tries to laugh at my future I’m going to laugh at them! Devil laugh! Hahahahaha!” He said, as he struck a pose pointing straight in the air.  
  
Behind him, Ryoko Otonashi struck the exact same pose. “Devil laugh! Ahahahaahhaha!”  
  
Mukuro decided to stop tuning out her sister finally. “What are you doing here? Did something go wrong at the hospital?”  
  
“Ah yes, there’s a very good reason for me being here. Yes, yes, yes, I know that reason, that reason is…” She cupped her chin in her hand to seem like she knew what she was doing. “I totally forgot.”  
  
“R-ryoko?” Mukuro stuttered.  
  
“How did you know your name? Are you secretly a genius? You must be really smart then, if you managed to hide your intelligence behind such a stupid looking face.”

“Wait, isn’t that your sister? What’s going on?” Zenkichi said, still holding his cool pose but looking very confused.  
  
“Ah… well basically, at one time in the past my sister had all her memories erased, and then I had to babysit her amnesiac self, and also dress up in front of her and impersonate her real self in front of her amnesiasc self, and then stop several bodyguards from trying to kill her. It was kind of a pain…” As she spoke of this, she didn’t have one thing that you could call an expression laid out on her face. It was like she was wearing an expressionless mask.

Hitoyoshi Zenkichi was used to this by now, but the way her tone of voice did not match what she was describing unnerved him slightly. “You could sound a little more annoyed at her you know, it sounds like your sister was really jerking you around!”  
  
“Ah, it’s fine. It’s just something I had to do in the past.”  
  
“Why do you always put up with her anyway?” Zenkichi said, stomping in anger and adopting a furious looking pose as he did so.

  
“Yeah, why do you put up with her?” Ryoko joined in, imitating his pose perfectly.  
  
“Well, just because.”  
  
“Just because?” Zenkichi adopted an exaggerated pose for his confusion.  
  
“Just because?” Ryoko imitated his pose.  
  
Ikusaba nodded, and dropped her gaze down to her feet. After a few moments of silence, she gently opened her mouth again. “For example, it’s like the world was a videogame RPG. Like a straightforward RPG or something… the people who live in that world, it looks like they have their own will, but it just looks like that… in the end they are just scripted ot act a way convenient for the game.... It’s the same way with the protagonist, it’s just the protagonist doesn’t even realize what he is.”  
  
“Wow, so you do the meta talk thing too, huh?”  
  
“I picked it up from my sister.” Mukuro explained quietly before continuing. “Um, well… that’s how I saw the world, like nothing was a coincidence and everything was determined by the scenario. The same went for me. I was just moving along as scripted with her scenario… moving accordingly to her will, only to prevent the scenario from taking the wrong path… things began to change a little bit after Kumagawa showed up and interrupted the scenario, or at least I think they did… but before that well, she was my sister you know.”  
  
“So, you did it for the sake of your sister?”  
  
“No, even though we’re sisters and we’re connected by blood… all of that doesn’t mean anything to her. After all, all that girl looks for is despair, other people’s despair, her own despair, that’s all that exists for her…” All of a sudden it looked like Ikusaba’s eyes were gazing far away. “THat’s why, whoever it may be, whatever situation it may be, it just all means nothing to her, unless she is dealing with despair. That’s the world of the girl known as Ultimat Despair, Enoshia Junko.”  
  
“W-what? That’s ridiculous!” It was Ryoko who reacted this time.

“Yes, it’s ridiculous. That’s what Enoshima Junko is. Yes, she really is ridiculous… to the point of despair, she’s the lowest, worst sister ever but… that’s why I can’t ever leave her alone. That’s why I have to help her.” As she continued to talk, without even realizing it a smile was creeping upon her lips. “I don’t know if she is attracting despair, or the despair attracts her but… she has lived her whole life with despair by her side. She lived while immersed in despair. That’s why she began looking for despair in others. She learned to enjoy pushing people into despair. BUt you know, that’s normal. It’s the same as being cursed by misfortune fall into hatred for those who aren’t, even Kumagawa can do that. But what’s special about her was that, she learned to enjoy inflicting despair onto herself. That’s how the link to despair began. As she chased down despair, she pushed it onto others, doing so it caused her to desire falling into despair even more… and because of that chain to despair, the Ultimate Despair was born. Yeah… you don’t get it at all, it’s hard to understand… I was the only one who had been by her side all that time, that’s why she needed me. She just… she never realized that, but maybe she only pretended not to realize. Ufu…maybe she’s just shy and hiding it from me after all this time… Ufufufu…”

“Ikusaba-san, are you okay?” As he witnessed Mukuro break down into a spiraling ramble trying to describe the nature of her sister, Hitoyoshi Zenkichi’s eyes were not the rejection or complete lack of understanding that she was used to seeing when she tried to describe those feelings. There was only concern in his eyes. “You… you should talk about these feelings more if they’re all twisted up inside of you like that, you should talk with your sister more. It’s no good for you to be suffering all on your own like that. She’s not your responsibility, you know.”  
  
“Hitoyoshi-kun…” Mukuro stared at Hitoyoshi’s kindness, not really comprehending it. She looked back at Ryoko, and was about to open her mouth again when she noticed the fear in Ryoko’s eyes.  
  
That’s right, while her sister was infected with her forgetting condition she did not enjoy despair at all. She reacted to it just like a normal girl would. “I… That’s right, it has nothing to do with me. I can’t believe I forgot about that.”  
  
“Eh…? Ah, I’m sorry… Don’t be upset. I said a lot of foolish things.” Her face turned pale.  
  
However, Ryoko realized too that she had said the wrong thing at the wrong moment. “Ah… I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” She imitated her apologizing sister, even going so far as to bow her head. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”  
  
“You don’t need to apologize that much…”  
  
“Well, anyway I’m going to leave now.” Ryoko said, waving goodbye. Zenkichi and Mukuro both waved goodbye too her, because neither of them knew what she was even doing here in the first place.  
  
“It’s a little annoying…” Mukuro said staring at Ryoko’s silhouette as it disappeared. “The real Junko is never going to say those two words to me… it’s bitter seeing her voice and body apologize to me over something stupid when it’s not her doing it.”

Zenkichi did not know what to say, because he had never dealt with such a troublesome sister. He reached forward and put a hand on her shoulder. “You know, you trash your sister behind her back a lot.”  
  
“Ah… I’m sorry.”  
  
“No, I kind of like it.  
  
“It’s not my fault, I just happen to have a trashy sister.”  
  
Just then, Tsumiki Mikan who had been chasing after Otonashi Ryoko caught up to the both of them. When she saw that Ryoko was already gone, she immediately began to apologize. “I-I’m sorry! I’m sorry for being so slow!”

“Wait, no more apologizing. We’ve hit the apology limit for the day!” Mukuro said, trying to calm her down.  
  
“I’m sorry for being sorry then!” Mikan said, panicking worse.  
  
Mukuro shrugged Zenkichi off her shoulder, and then made her way to Mikan’s side. She considered touching the other to calm her down, but stopped herself not trusting her own hands would help anybody. “M-Mikan-chan you should tell us what happened first, before you start apologizing.”  
  
“I-If I tell you what happened, you’re going to hate me.”  
  
“Don’t worry, there’s no way I could hate you more than I hate myself.”  
  
“I guess that makes sense.”  
  
“Eh, it did?” Zenkichi said, himself much too positive person to ever comprehend their negativity.  
  
Mikan explained what she had done, letting Ryoko purposefully escape so she would injure herself in this state and therefore be needed by her. The rest of the story however, tumbled out of her on accident, the same way that Mukuro had started to rave about her sister. “I… I was trying to follow your advice and do things for myself, but I don’t know how to do anything. I… I think all I can do is hurt others.”

“Mikan-chan… that’s because you’ve only been hurt before. Nobody’s shown you anything different until now, I don’t think you have to judge yourself so harshly. I mean nobody on this island had a normal upbringing or even parents I think… except for Zenkichi.” She suddenly pointed back to Zenkichi. “He’s the only one we can judge harshly, alright?”

“Yeah, feel free to judge me harshly!” Zenkichi replied in a chipper voice, taking it rather well. He scratched at the back of his head without a care, “If you judge me harsh, I’ll just try hard to surpass those judgements.”  
  
“So, it’s not my fault right?” Mikan repeated the words that Kumagawa always told her. “The reason I became like this wasn’t my fault. It’s all your fault, you know? Because… it’s not like I’m entirely responsible for turning out like this… I’m the person I am today because of many human relationships. So… it’s everybody’s fault that I turned out like this, you see… but if it’s their fault then why do they hate me so much? They’re the ones who made me with way.”  
  
“Mikan-chan…”

“The only one… the only one who ever forgave me was Junko. That’s why I need her, don’t you understand? She was the only one…and I want her to need me too.”

Mukuro could easily see what part of herself was reflected on Mikan. Junko had that effect on people, she became their whole world, and they struggled with these intense feelings for her all on their own never seeming to reach her.

“I should not have tried to do things for my own sake, because I’m a selfish and terrible person. That’s why everything went wrong. I should just go back to the way I was when I was with Junko… that’s the only time I was happy.”  
  
“Mikan-chan, you’re not evaluating yourself honestly!” Ikusaba snapped at her, finally raising her voice from it’s usual monotone. “You can’t flip between nothing is my fault, and everything is my fault, I’m not a bad person, and I’m the worst person ever like that. You’re just avoiding responsibility okay.”

“I don’t… I don’t want to avoid anything. I just want to be forgiven, okay?”  
  
“Well, to need to be forgiven first that means you had to be at fault for some things right? What other people did to you isn’t your fault, but… there’s still control in your life okay? There are still things you can control even if you have a hard time doing it.”  
  
“Haha, what… so you’re making me realize it really was my fault. You’re so cruel, Ikusaba-san. Nobody’s going to forgive me if they realize that… you can’t forgive me now that you know.”  
  
“It doesn’t matter if I can forgive you or not, Mikan-chan. What’s most important is that you need to learn to forgive yourself, before anybody else can forgive you.” She reached forward and clamped her hands on both of Mikan’s shoulders, finally feeling confident enough to touch her if only to look directly at the girl who always avoided eye contact. “Umm… sorry, I can’t even forgive myself yet. I’m just talking big, but I think… something like that is the right thing to say. If you can do that, you’ll be able to evaluated yourself more honestly, and do things for yourself.”

She let go finally and took a few steps back, before looking over her shoulder. “Besides, I know my sister and there’s nothing you can do to make her need you. She doesn't… even need me really. She doesn’t need anybody but herself but… if she were to want somebody around despite not needing them, that might be a slightly healthier relationship, by Junko standards at least.”

 

 ♛

 

The boy wearing a black jacket over hospital robes, finally finished climbing to the top of the highest point in electric Avenue. Enoshima Junko, or at least her body without any memories was dancing along the edge happily. He had spotted her from afar, and then started to climb. As he flopped himself backwards on the edge of the roof, he muttered to himself. “Do you really like high places, or something?”  
  
She danced along, with her hands behind her back, to a melody only she could hear. Humming softly as she did, and even giggling to an uneven rhythm between the hums. She did not even seem to notice his presence. He watched her, face reddening. Then realized how close she was to the edge. “Hah? W-wait, Ryoko-chan wait that’s dangerous!”  
  
“I can see everything!” She announced in a cheerful voice, as she looked at the island below her. “Where is, everyone? Huh? This whole world is empty you know, because I forget about everybody else so there’s no one else but me.”  
  
“Oh, yeah, I didn’t think about that. When you’re like this, you don’t have anybody but yourself huh?”  
  
“I don’t have myself either!” She said in a cheerful voice. “I’m just a hollow and empty girl.”  
  
“Ryoko…you… you’re even bored of yourself. I never thought...you always seemed like you liked yourself so much.”  
  
“The world should just go get destroyed for all I care… because it has nothing to do with me. It should just always be like this, if I forget everything, then I don’t have to worry about tomorrow being exactly like today.”  
  
Those were her true feelings. Ryoko lacked Junko’s cunning, or her deep understanding of themes, character tropes and how to weave a narrative. She just said what she thought, the moment she thought it. An idiot like Kumagawa though, who could only understand the stories he read in manga preferred it that way. He always wore his emotions on his sleeves, his scars out in the open, he could not understand living any other way.  
  
He wanted to understand though, because the way Junko lived seemed so lonely to him. She was so far out on the edge, always watching from the sidelines, always manipulating things, never really allowing herself to get close to others, or letting others get close to her. She never let herself experience anything really, everything went according to a scenario she so deliberately controlled.

Yet it was herself that was most out of control, wasn’t it? She could never stop herself from trying to control people, never stop herself from being able to predict the others around her. At least, that was how Kumagawa saw it. That was how he was able to sympathize with her, because he had never been able to control the circumstances of his own life much either. Too much control, and not enough control, he was sure both of those taken to an extreme were a bad thing.

He did not want her to be alone. He would endure the worst life possible with a smile for her sake. Even if the world ended, if Junko could find a reason to keep living in that he did not particularly care, but…  That would not convince her of anything though, there were plenty of people willing to fight for Junko’s sake, to be loyal to her, to never abandon her. Those feelings never reached her. She could manipulate that quality out of almost anyone. There was really only one way he knew of to reach her. “It does have something to do with you! It has everything to do with you.” He needed to fight her.  
  
“Huh?”

“If you shut out everybody else in the world, then of course the world is going to seem empty to you! You’re a part of so many people’s worlds, but you never let them in!”  
  
“It’s pointless though because I’m going to forget.”  
  
“Even if you forget, other people can remember for you.”  
  
“What good will that do me? Don't just tell me the right thing to do like you know what it's like. It's hard just trying to hold onto anything! Maybe it'd be better if I forgot everything." She struggled, her face burnt red hot and the world around her blurred. Tears were starting to form in the corners of her eyes. Feelings flowed out of her that she could not stop. "It's fine already! I should just forget! I should just disappear!"

  
“I don’t know, but it’s something at least. You have to try. Of course you get bored of yourself, it’s because you’re so selfish, always thinking only of yourself, always deciding things all on your own. Maybe destroying yourself WOULD be easier. Maybe. Except one problem - you wouldn’t be you anymore! Even if your world is empty, there are as many worlds as there are people. We’ll all remember for you, okay? So if you forget, just clash with us, and look for the you that’s a part of my world. Don’t look away from us… don’t say it has nothing to do with you, just look at somebody else besides yourself for once and you’ll see. The world isn’t as empty as you think it is, I’m here too.”

Kumagawa realized, that part of his speech was directed at Junko and not Ryoko. He wondered if she understood anything he said. He scratched at the back of his head.  
  
Ryoko sniffled, she had no idea why, perhaps because a person she did not remember suddenly started yelling at her, perhaps because these feelings were no hers to begin with, but she was suddenly overcome with a terrible sadness. Her world was already so narrow, and she felt like it was going to be destroyed by that boy’s words. She turned around to run away, and realized that she had been standing on the absolute edge the entire time and was about to fall off.  
  
Suddenly then, that boy dove forward and grabbed her by the arm. He dragged her all the way back from the edge, and they both collapsed backwards together, her landing on top of him. She could not get rid of her sadness though, despite her relief from not falling. She buried her head in his chest, trying to hide her tears from him.

“Ah… just this once, I was able to stop you from falling. I’m so happy.”

“If you’re happy I didn’t fall then why are you being such a meanie?”  
  
“I… I was mad because you disappeared on me. I wanted to make you realize what my feelings were, even if you were going to forget, even if my words became nothing, so I yelled them at you, but it didn’t do any good and I just made a cute girl cry.”

“I… I don’t know how else to live. I’m scared… thinking about it makes me so scared.”  
  
“I don’t know either, but I want to keep trying at least.” He suddenly reached up and put a hand on the back of her head, pushing her head into his chest further. Kumagawa was always too afraid to touch her, but in that moment he moved so naturally. “To be honest, I wouldn’t even mind if it was just a world of you and me. A tiny little world, contained in this one moment, I wouldn’t mind at all.” He knew that would never be enough for her though, because she was such a greedy girl. He didn’t blame her though, it was just the cost she paid for burning so bright. She could not help but burn everything around her.

“It’s warm…” She muttered. She cared little for metaphors about stars, to her, he was the warm one. “Can we stay like this a little longer?”  
  
“You want to be around me?”  
  
“Yeah…”  
  
“Haha, there’s no way.”  
  
“You’re the one who just said I’m selfish! So, if I do whatever I want, and I’m still here then I want to be around you right?”

“I guess so. I’m sorry for not realizing sooner.”  
  
Kumagawa’s eyes stared up at the sky above him, and saw nothing contained within it, because he knew it was all fake.  
  
“It’s just that I’m a coward.”


	26. The Shadow At Your Feet (11 -Hello Nurse x Goodbye Nurse)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I made a 999 reference this chapter.  
> There's a Jack Vessalius Reference for Kumagawa's character too.

I finally woke up, blinking tears out of my eyes.  
  
For some reason I had been incredibly sad, filled with that sad feeling like water, flooding within me until it leaked out my eyes. Something like that. Yet the reason for my sadness I had already forgotten it.  
  
It was like having a dream that you forgot the moment you woke up, one you cried it was all over.  
  
I stared at an unfamiliar ceiling, and had even forgotten what that line was a reference to.  
  
It looks like I somehow fell asleep without realizing it. Though, me being as forgetful as I am, I never really remember falling asleep so this wasn’t especially panicking. I calmly shifted my gaze from the ceiling to the window. Sunlight beamed through the gap between the curtains and filled the white room with light. It looked like the morning sun.  
  
The room the usn illuminated was completely unknown to me.  
  
But, that’s no different than usual. In this situation, it’s imporatnt not to panic, checking what happened with “Otonoashi Ryouko’s Memory Notebook” takes top priority. Without making a fuss or panicking I slowly rose up - only to find I couldn’t.  
  
“...What is this?” I was held down by a rope firmly tied to the bd. It was a well tied knot that I’m sure some could even call artistic, it didn’t even loosen eeven the slightest bit. It was impossible just to move my neck so I could properly look around the room. Then finally - I remembered how to feel scared in this situation.  
  
To be brief, my “What is this?” went to a “WHAT IS THIS!?” very quickly.  
  
“W-WHAT IS THIS!?” But even during my rampage, the bed only shaked and rattled. The knot showed no sign of untying itself, in fact, if anything it only creaked, growing tighter against me.  
  
“S-somebody…” I cried out in horror, “H-H-HEEEEELP MEEEEEE!” I shouted louder, and then louder after that.  
  
“PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASSSSSSSE!” Screaming and screaming, all I could do was continue screaming.  
  
“SOMEBODYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! SOMEBODYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!” I kept screaming like that for a short while.

“Eh, what are you doing tied to the bed? I’m supposed to be the Ultimate Masochist not you, Ryoko-chan,” A strangely sincere voice replied. Despite not recognizing the voice, my heart began pounding.  
  
“Eh? Are you someone I know?”

“I’m an unimportant person, so it’s really no wonder you’ve forgotten me.”

“Let me see you! I wanna see you!” I heard that boy’s quick tongue, and I quickly tried to look around for him - but my head was still firmly bound in place and I couldn’t turn at all. “Where are you? Hey, where are you I want to see you?” I raised my voice desperately.  
  
“Where… I’m right beneath you. You shouldn’t get so worked up about seeing me though because I’m really ugly, it’s a face you’re better off forgetting.”  
  
“Huh? Beneath me?”  
  
“I’m under the bed you tied yourself too, you masochist.” I ignored the masochist comment for the time being, still it was a shock this stranger used such language around me.  
  
“Eh? Why are you under the bed?”  
  
“When I tried to lie down you kept sneaking into my bed every time I closed my eyes, so I decided to lie down somewhere you couldn’t find me so you wouldn’t have to share a bed with someone you didn’t love.” I couldn’t really check to see if this was some kind of bondage play, but there was definitely a voice coming from beneath me. “It’s easier to concentrate down here anyway, I’m much more used to sleeping in hard places.”  
  
“But.. what would require so much concentration to be under the bed?”  
  
“This… situation.” Somehow, this guy’s way of putting things could allude to several different meanings. Even in his overly honest way of speaking, he seemed to be trying too hard to lie with the truth.  
  
“Hey, if there’s anything wrong, you can talk with me about it, okay? I’ll listen.”  
  
“I’ll take you up on your offer.” He exhaled a long sigh. “Last night I was told a totally selfish acquaintance of mine went missing, so I went looking for her and found her dancing on the rooftop on the highest point of the island.  When I found her she almost fell off the rooftop and started crying on me, and when we finally talked she fell asleep on top of me immediately afterwards so you can understand my frustration here?”  
  
“...Somehow, that sounds like a really bad totally selfish friend.”  
  
“It’s you.”  
  
Oh, so it is!

“Eh, did you say I went missing?”  
  
“Maybe you’re better off tied up, if you’re going to be so reckless as to go missing without realizing it.”  
  
“Are you the one who tied me up? What a surprise! It’s a complete shocker that you’re able to tie me up like a true craftsman! That’s kind of exciting.”  
  
“Huh? I’m not the one who tied you up… You don’t even know who I am don’t get excited like that over a total stranger… you might actually be a worse pervert than me.” He crawled out from the back of the bed, and stood up on his own. For some reason, I wanted him to turn around and look at me. “Anyway, you can stay there for awhile and self reflect, since you love thinking about yourself so much.”

“...Incidentally, how long do you mean by a while?”  
  
“I think until the next chapter of weekly shonen jump is published-”  
  
“Absolutely impossible!”  
  
“Then you should think harder before getting yourself tied up next time.”  
  
“It’s not my fault!”  
  
“That’s my line, you already have enough iconic lines of your own and you’re a way more popular character than me so don’t get greedy.”  
  
“It’s not my fault I’m popular, I didn’t ask to be born so cute.”

“Anyway, I think it would be good if it were at least for today.”  
  
“That’s still too long! People don’t tie their lovers to a bed for a full day.”

Suddenly, his strong looking shoulders hitched. His whole body seemed to tremble when he heard that word, as if I had said something terrible to him. He turned around slowly, and looked down at me as I stared blankly up at him. He didn’t say anything. He got closer to me, and I saw my face reflecting in his eyes, taking up the entirety of those eyes. He looked at me like I was the only thing in the world.  
  
He put a hand on the bed and leaned over me, getting closer and closer. As he did, my heart beat increased, and I felt warmer just being near him. As if that person was light itself. His face was unhealthily pale, and he had wide, blue eyes. His black hair fell and curved framing the side of his face. He had cute eyelashes just like a girl. Round cheeks like a child. Small, thin limbs. Rough, coarse hands, but his whole aura was sickly, he looked like somebody who was constantly walking on the line between life and death - and strangely I thought this was beautiful.  
  
I wanted to enjoy that beautiful face, but I could not stop thinking about how lonely he looked.

“What… what did you just call me?”  
  
“You’re my lover, obviously!”

“...You’re mistaken. I already told you you’ve got the wrong person.”

“Hmmm, who are you then?”  
  
“I’m your upperclassmen, that’s all. You don’t think of me as anything special.”  
  
“Wow! I can’t believe I have a crush on my senpai, what a cliche romantic scenario I’ve become trapped in.”

“If you don’t have any memories how do you even remember what’s cliche…” His eyes looked increasingly desperate as he looked to me, like he was searching for a light as he looked me over. “If… if I’m your lover then what’s my name?”  
  
“I dunno.”

“That’s what I thought. See, there’s no way I could be… I mean, what kind of idiot can’t even remember the name of the person they love.” He withdrew quickly and turned away. Immediately, the moment after he stopped looking at me I started to feel lonely again.

“It’s… it’s not my fault!” I stutter out again, “I’ve been looking for you all this time, and when I think about you all on my own my heart beats really fast, I draw your face when you’re not looking, I whisper “I love him” under my breath repeating it over and over…”  
  
“That sounds like how a stalker behaves.”  
  
“Hey!  I know I can’t do it in a normal way, but…I tried to show you my love in my own way. Y-you’re the idiot, not me. It’s annoying having a crush on someone so oblivious.”

He tilted his head right then, putting a finger on his cheek. “How exactly am I getting called oblivious by the girl who forgets everything?” He said, like he was cracking a joke for an audience that was not even there. “Listen, you’re just confusing me for someone else. That’s why you can’t remember my name. If you cared you’d remember my name.”  
  
“Why… why are you making up that weird rule now? After you said that I should rely on people to help remember for me!”

“Huh? You remember me saying that?”

“Did you just make a promise like that because you’d know I’d forget!”

“N-no. I really meant it.”

This person.  
Should I choose to trust them?  
Should I leave my world and choose to walk in theirs?  
I gave my answer.

“Then, I’m sorry for what I can’t remember… but for those things, you can be my memory, right?”

That boy was silent for a long time. I waited patiently.

  
“I’ll share it with you. My memories, my entire world, you can have whatever you want.”

“R-really?” For some reason, that answer made my heart stop.

  
“Yeah. I want to share my life with you, even if that life amounts to nothing.”  
  
“Even though I’m a no good girl, who constantly forgets things, and runs away from you? You’d choose me?”  
  
“What a troublesome choice that is, surely the most troublesome choice I could make out of all my options. ”  
  
“Sorry.”  
  
“Even if you’re nothing but trouble, I’d still choose you over everything else.” Senpai said, turning back to look at me again. Those eyes of his, even if I forgot everything else I wanted to remember his. Eyes full of emotion, always trembling and rippling like the waters surface. I felt much happier now that he was looking at me again, and then of course he had to ruin it. “Even if you don’t love me, even if you’d never choose me.”  
  
“Why are you so difficult!?” I snapped back at him.  
  
“Getting called difficult by the world’s most difficult person might be too much for me to handle.” He said as he leaned over me and tried to untie the knots around my body. As he did, his face got more and more frustrated, and seeing his increasingly frustrated face hovering right over me made me frustrated as well but probably in a different way than he was. He finally gave up and muttered about losing before walking to the door.  
  
As he tried to turn the handle, the door clicked. “Huh? Heeeeeey! Who locked us in here?”

“What’s the problem?”  
  
“These doors lock from the outside only so they’re not supposed to be locked when people are in the room.” Senpai’s brow furrowed for a moment as he looked at the knob.

Suddenly, another gloomy sounding voice spoke up from the other side of the door. “Hey, Kumagawa-senpai are you finally awake?”  
  
“Yeah, why is the door locked?”

The door unlocked from the other side, and a single eye poked through the gap in the held open door, the rest of that person’s face was covered in bandages.  
  
“Sorry, after you fell asleep Otonashi started wandering into my lab again, so I locked her in this room and tied her up to stop her from annoying me.”  
  
“I guess that’s a good enough reason.” Senpai, said.  
  
“That’s not a good enough reason at all, nobody can be that annoying!?” I whined behind Senpai.  
  
He looked back to me for a moment. “I don’t know don’t sell yourself short. If there’s anybody who can do it, I’m sure it’s you. I mean have you ever met yourself?”  
  
“Obviously I haven’t met myself that kind of thing is impossible.”  
  
“Can you help me untie her?”  
  
“Get somebody else to do it, I’m busy trying to save everyone. I don’t have time to waste on idiots who can’t even save themselves.”  
  
“Haha, I guess that’s fair.” Senpai said, laughing off her gloomy personality like it was nothing. “Don’t worry Ryoko-chan, I’ll find somebody to untie you and head right back.”  
  
“Wait… but I’ll be lonely while you’re gone.”  
  
“It’s fine, it’s fine. There’s no way you could actually miss having a person like me around, and… you’ll probably have forgotten me and everything I said by the time I get back. Ahhh, why did I force myself to say all those embarrassing things you’re just going to forget anyway?”  
  
“Do you regret saying them?”  
  
“No, I guess I don’t.”

 

 ♛

 

“Peko, are you alright?” Hinata said, stopping in front of the other girl in the hallway.  
  
The glasses she always wore over her eyes as a part of her cool and collected expression, had been shattered and thrown carelessly on the floor. He knelt down and picked them up for her, offering them back to her. He did not know how much good they would do her though, considering the glass was cracked and the frames itself bent.  
  
“What happened to you?”  
  
Politely, and properly she bowed her head. “My apologies, Kurokami-san’s condition is worsening. Due to that when I attempt to restrain her she fights back.”

“The sickness is getting worse?”  
  
“Haven’t you noticed Nagito’s condition worsen as well, he’s deteriorated to almost nothing over the past few days. I’m starting to believe the personality changes might not be the actual motivation.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Do you expect a person that sick to be able to murder others? What if the disease gets worse and worse and won’t be cured until a murder happens, and if one never happens every sick person dies.”  
  
The thought of Komaeda dying, all alone on some island, of his story ending on that note wrenched Hinata’s heart. It was so sudden and painful, he felt like collapsing forward, and had to put his hands on his chest to stop that pain. These were… too much… too many feelings for him to handle. He had no idea how to deal with them at all. “Y-you’re wrong, there’s no way tha will happen. Naze is going to save everyone.”  
  
“Every treatment she tries on her sister just makes her worse. If… if it comes down to it, I’ll volunteer my own life.”

  
“Huh?” Hinata said in an empty voice.  
  
“I’m the only one who has the resolve, and… there’s nobody waiting for me in the real world anyway. This life of mine is expendable. I’ll be happy to die because it means seeing the young master again…”

“You... dumbass!” Hinata reached forward and grabbed her by the cheeks, pulling her serious expression into a comical looking smile. Pekoyama had no idea what he was doing, but she let him do it anyway, because she trusted Hinata’s hands. “What kind of face are you making while thinking of your own death! You’re frowning! You’re making such an ugly face! Do you think you’ll be able to greet your young master in the afterlife if with such an ugly face like that? Do you think he wants to see you again all miserable?”  
  
“No… I think if the young master saw me like this it’s make him upset.”

“Then, don’t die until you can die with a smile on your face, alright? Live a life long enough that you can greet your master smiling. Since you’re terrible at smiling though that means you’re just going to have to live forever.” Hinata said, as he let go of her face right then and turned around. As she watched his back, she realized he was probably going to go check on Komaeda again. Her lip twitched, knowingly. She wondered if this was how other people felt, watching her young master and her interact from afar both of them oblivious to love. It must have been a frustrating feeling.  
  
Just then, she heard a noise behind it. It sounded like a really annoying crying noise. She turned around to see a bear wiping at his eyes with his paws. “What a heartwarming scene. It’s good, Hinata is such an empty person that way you can believe in him.”  
  
She looked away from him, desperately wishing she still had a sword on her back. “Nobody asked for comments from the audience.”  
  
“Well I’m going to give them anyway! It must have been so embarrassing for you, getting called a dumbass by a dumbass! He doesn’t even seem to realize though, that he’s just like you. He’s found an important person to cling to… I wonder if he’ll be able to stay the same old Hinata after that person dies.”

“...”  
  
“That person isn’t you either, too bad for you. You can’t be useful to him that way. A useless girl like you. You can’t even kill properly, that makes you worse than that dumb girl whose only good at killing.”  
  
“I’m glad my glasses broke, I don’t want you in my sight.”

“I’m just trying to educate you like a good headmaster. Make sure this time you’re able to do something, so you don’t have to feel the feeling of doing nothing while your loved one dies in front of you like last time.” Monokuma said, waving his paws at her as he walked away.

 

 ♛

  
Mukuro readjusted the hospital mask she had over her face.  
  
Naze, looked around her with one eye. “Is Kirgiri-san late?”

“No, she doesn’t want to come. She locked herself up in her room, I think she’s a germphobe or something.”

“So you came to met me in her stead?”  
  
“It doesn’t really matter if a disappointing girl like me gets sick or dies, the others are more important. Has their conditions improved?”  
  
“No... Everyone’s conditions are steadily declining, and Tsumiki-san is pushed to her limit running between the four of them. Every new cure I come up with for my sister makes her worse… I think I’m just poisoning her at this point.”  
  
“Is it really that bad?”  
  
“The disease behaves so illogically, not like any disease I’ve ever seen before it’s like it’s not even real… not even real... “ She paused for a moment, her single eye focusing as if she were recalculating a problem that only she could see. “To tell you the truth I don’t have anything to report at all, I just asked for a meeting so I’d get an excuse to leave that hospital so I didn’t have to hear my sister screaming anymore.”  
  
“Naze-san…”  
  
“Even though I’m on the other side of the island, I can still hear it. It’s like it’s echoing in my skull. I really like making myself miserable, huh? Hey… Ikusaba-san. Am I a bad sister?”  
  
“I… I’m not really the person to ask that. I have no idea what a normal family relationship would even look like.” Mukuro said, her eyes averting from the scene in front of her again as she did. She wished she had a window to stare out of, so she could avoid this moment. “You always had a good relationship with your sister, why are you suddenly worrying? It’s not your fault she got sick, and you’re doing your best to cure her.”  
  
“Not always, in the past I ended up hurting both my brother and sister and experimenting on them to enjoy that misery. I thought I had changed since then, but… I don’t really know if I’m the one who changed, or if I’m taking advantage of my sister’s good nature. I feel like if my sister disappears, I’ll just go back to being Naze with Nothing again.”  
  
“You don’t have nothing! You made friends with Hitoyoshi-kun, and Tanaka-kun right? You’ve been a lot more useful to others than someone like me whose only good at killing so… so…there’s a reason you were born you, and your sister was born her sister. I’m sure there are some things you can do that she can’t...” Ikusaba Mukuro was never good at communicating with others, she wondered why she found herself struggling over and over again to do so. If Makoto were here, the words he said would be much clearer, they’d shine brighter, but she was standing here alone. Because she wanted to reach the day where she was able to stand by his side, she tried speaking like hi too. “I know what it’s like, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop having so many complicated feelings about Junko it’s just so much of who I am… but the fact that I’m worried about being better, the fact that you’re worried about going back to being the old Naze means you’re trying right?”  
  
“I suppose so… Kurokami-san wouldn’t give up right now, so… I’ll keep trying. I just need to sink further and further into hell, then something brilliant will be born. Yeah there’s something I can do that Kurokami-san would never be capable of.”

“Hey, hey which one do you think is going to croak first? Kurokami or Komaeda? Let’s start a betting pool!” A certain irresistibly cute bear said, as he began to rub his paws together.  
  
“Ignore him, he’s being rude.” Ikusaba Mukuro said, her expression not changing as she looked dismissively at the bear. “He should know better than to spy on our girl talk. What are you some kind of pervert?”  
  
“Me? A pervert? I have on interest at all in the human mating rituals.”  
  
Naze took that chance to duck out of the conversation. The bear turned his attention to Mukuro instead. “I’ve got some advice for you. I was watching you have your little freak out about your sister the other day, super embarrassing by the way I hope you’re ashamed of yourself.”  
  
“Be quiet.”  
  
“Is the Naze situation hitting a little close to home? You know it’s probably her fault that you’re feeling all those complicated things, she keeps rubbing her kind little sister in your face.”

“...”

  
“If your emotions are getting to be too much for you, you should just kill them. That’s what you’ve always done in the past haven’t you? It’s better to feel nothing isn’t it, then spend your life trying to resolve those one sided feelings of yours all on your own.”

“Why do you sound so much like Junko? It’s really annoying.”  
  
Before ukuro could do anything else, suddenly from behind Monokuma was sprayed with a can of bug spray. Kirigiri Kyoko pulled down her own face mask to address Ikusaba. “Don’t listen to that pest too much, I’m sorry for leaving you on your own.”  
  
“Yeah… I’m no good on my own I guess.” She offered Kirigiri Kyoko a weak smile.  
  
“Whaddaya think you’re doing to your head master? Attacking me is a crime you know, I could have you punished!”

“I’d never commit a crime I’m a detective. I don’t go for those kind of post modern twists where the detective turns out to be the criminal the whole time in order to trick the audience. I was helping you, there was a tick on your back and this is bug spray.” Kirigiri Kyoko explained in a calm voice, before walking forward.  
  
Ikusaba Mukuro made to follow her, making sure to walk a few paces behind her. “Hey, Kirigiri-san, are you a germophobe?”  
  
“No, I’m just trying to avoid the motive this time around. I don’t like the idea of having my personality changed, into something I don’t control of.”  
  
“Oh, but usually you’re always wearing gloves.”  
  
“So are you.”  
  
“Ah… you’re right.” Mukuro said, looking down at her own hands for a moment. “Why do you always wear gloves then?”  
  
“Ikusaba-san we’re not friends you know. We don’t need to talk while walking.”  
  
“Oh. Of course. I’m sorry. Umm... “ Mukuro felt the urge to withdraw within herself again, but ther was one last thing bothering her. “Were you upset that I didn’t tell you about Junko? I’m sorry since she was your classmate after all. I think it’d be a big deal learning your classmates were trying to kill you, but you’re acting like you don’t feel anything at all.”  
  
“Key word acting. I feel plenty of things, and I have access to a full range of emotions I just choose not to display them. At least one of us needs to keep a cool head here or the entire island will go mad.”  
  
“Kirgiri-san, you’re a lot better than me… thinking for  everybody else’s sake.” She put a hand over her chest. “Yet, here I am, unable to feel anything pleasant, and unable to stop these unpleasant feelings.”

 

 ♛

 

 _I don’t need a mommy, or a daddy._ _  
_ _I’ll live on my own._ _  
_ _An animal would survive on their own strength._

He stood alone collecting his thoughts. He remembered, the hazy shape of a boy and a girl standing together. The rays gave way, casting a light too bright on someone like him who only belonged in the shadows.

“Gundham, why are you so hurt?”  
  
“Obviously, these are the battle scars of my time fighting against the accursed shadows that rise up before the sun. What are you doing here princess? I never thought I would encounter you at a time before dawn’s rising. Is the festival of the holy mother of darkness to be held in the final shadows of the night?”  
  
“Gundham you are quite obviously bleeding. There is literally so much blood, you cannot hide that fact no matter how many cool things you say. I want to know what happened to you, tell me please?”  
  
“I…I am the lucky one. All of my comrades were slain.”

“What?” The princess of gold, looked behind him to see what he had gotten so beaten up over and saw that the rabbit hutches that he kept as a part of his activities at Hope’s Peak had been vandalized, several rabbits had been cut in half, their blood smeared everywhere. “Gundham… I am so sincerely sorry.”  
  
“Do not be sorry for me, I am a truly pathetic one unable to avenge his fallen demon beasts. I… I thought if I abandoned the human world and lived only in the world of animals I would be alright, but humans have to continue stomping on me no matter what I do… it’s… it’s my fault for being a poor master.”  
  
“You are not a poor master at all! You wake up early every morning taking care of everyone’s demon beasts! You feed and tame them, all by yourself.”

  
“Yes, and do you see the results of that? This…” he gestured to the destruction behind him. “This is all I can do on my own. This is all somebody terrible like me is capable of. This is what happens when I try to protect someone.”  
  
“Gundham… you got this hurt because you tried to protect the rabbits all on your own?”  
  
“They were our class pets after all. Even if we’re not much of a class, they were something connecting us all together… and you always smiled looking at them.”

  
“That is because when I walked to school alone in the morning, I was able to watch you taking care of them. You… you should not have tried to protect them alone.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“I do not want to see you get this hurt. It hurts me to see you suffer like this on your own. You… you should not have been the only one taking care of our class pets in the first place. Next time you need to protect something, take me with you?” She said, grabbing onto his bandaged hand. Gundham looked at her, the first girl to ever look him in the eyes rather than turn her nose up at him. Except, she was royal blood, and he was an unwanted bastard.  
  
“You are quite an arrogant one to grab cursed hands like that, princess. Why don’t you butt out?” Gundham said, turning his uneven eyes on her. That girl had a smile like the sun, on a hot summer day. However, he only had eyes of ice. “Disappear and never come back, I have no use for you.”  
  
“I will not leave you!” The princess said, still holding onto his hand even as he tried to brush her off.  
  
“I said don’t touch me! I thought you were different from everybody else, but you’re looking down on me too. You think me weak? Tanaka the Supreme Overlord of Ice does not need to waste his time with mere mortals!”

Tanaka said as he ripped his arm away hard enough to rip off the bandages. It revealed the bruises on his arm.  
  
Gundham was always putting on an act.  
Because he loved his mother.  
He lied and hid the bruises she left on him, terrified she would be taken away from him.

“Gundham… those bruises are older. Have you gotten beaten up like this before?”

 _She’s still concerned for me?_ _  
_ “Forget what you saw, those are not for mortal eyes to see.” Gundham ran away, leaving everything behind him. He did no know how long he ran, but when he was sure he was alone he leaned back against a wall.  
  
He clutched his arm as he did so. “Now she’s seen it, the evidence of the poison blood that runs through my veins.”

 _She was trying to help me._ _  
_ _All I did was say cruel things to her._ _  
_ _Why?_ _  
_ _Was it because I was upset that the rabbits died?_ _  
_ _Was I angry at myself for being beaten up and not able to stop those cruel kids from hurting them?_ _  
_ _It doesn’t matter, I took all of those feelings out on her._ _  
_ _She offered me her hand, and I..._ _  
_ _I lashed out with my claws._ _  
_ _I lashed out with my claws._ _  
_ _I lashed out with my claws._ _  
_ _I’m no better._ _  
_ _I’m no better.  
_ _I’m no better._ _  
_ _  
_ “No… it’s fine that she has now seen the dark fiend Tanaka that hides underneath this human flesh. Hopefully, she’ll finally do the right thing and shun me like all the rest. If we got close.. She’d prick her finger on me… and be poisoned.”  
  
_I’m not the prince._ _  
_ _I’m the poison apple.  
_ _That’s why I’m better off alone in this story._

Gundham was broken out of his thoughts by the presence of another. He turned around and saw Hajime Hinata staring at him. A scowl spread across his face. “...Why do you keep following me? In truth, there’s no way I’d ever associate with someone like you.... But still, why do you continue to hound me!? Does this mean my absolute mental defenses are wearing off…?”

“I don’t know what you think this is, but we’re friends who are working together to escape-”  
  
“Gah!” Gundham stumbled backwards, as if he had been struck in a weakpoint. His entire body seized up, and he grabbed his own arm posing with it. “Settle down… my wicked arm…! Are you a Kotodama user? You wish to manipulate me with false words and cheap tricks, don’t you?”

“I’m not trying to manipulate you at all. In fact… you’re the one who said I’m just a mere human with no special abilities whatsoever.”  
  
“You… you wouldn’t understand… I’m in isolation for a reason…” _What is wrong with this person._ Gundham thought, as he looked at Hinata not being able to comprehend even the shape of the person in front of him. The answer was ‘several things’ but Gundham did not know that. He only saw a boy who continued to try getting closer to him. None of his usual tricks for driving others away seemed to be working. He couldn’t let this person become close to hi, or they would be poisoned like father, like mother, like sleeping beauty. “There will never be a day when you understand why I became who I am!”

“I... Is something wrong, you’re acting weird? You have to tell me about it directly you know, otherwise I can’t understand it. B-because I have the dumbass disease right now.”  
  
“I’m the offspring of an angel and a devil, a cursed being shunned and rejected by everything in this world! Now that I’ve lost the only thing I love, I’m destined to spend my last days being devoured alive by demon beasts! Truly, I am mankind’s natural foe! Evil incarnate! A walking catacylsm! A shapeless insanity! GUNDHAM TANAKA! I was born…” He sniffled suddenly, before pulling his scarf up so high over his face it covered his eyes. “I was born to poison others, so please leave me alone. Somebody like me survives through stubbornness and is better off dying alone.”  
  
_He sounds like his normal self, but.. There’s definitely something different about him. There might be a kernel of truth hidden in the words he just spoke._ “It’s true. I don’t know anything about what drove you to this point… And I don’t think you’re going to tell me either but that’s fine. I don’t need to know anything. Because… I definitely believe that you’re my friend. If I didn’t think that, I wouldn’t be able to go on. That’s it… That’s the only reason. As long as your my friend… I have no desire o take anything away from you and try and force you to change. I think it’s good you were able to live until this point, because I met you and then we became friends, right?”  
  
“...It seems that… I completely misread you. I never expected a human like you to contain a singularity.”

 _Hm. Have I been promoted from a mere human? Wait, why does that make me feel so special?_ _  
_

“You asked the other day what sort of existence would be capable of touching me. The answer to that is… the singularity. A being who can make the impossible possible… by overcoming various limitations.”  
  
“Huh? Am I really that amazing?” Hinata said, as his eyes widened and he totally started letting it go to his head.  
  
“Hmmph… don’t get ahead of yourself. A simple creature like you does not have that much power. However… I can lend you my powers, as long as you yearn for them.” He said as he reached up and started to pull his scarf down from his face finally, exposing his whole face to Hinata, red tear stained eyes, scars and all.  
  
“Then, I’ll leave this to you.”  
  
“Tch… for you to say that so easily. Well.. who cares. Lend me your hand.”

As the other reached forward for him, Gundham slowly gripped his hand. Despite touching the person in front of him, Hinata did not come to hate him, and did not wither and die.  
  
“WIth this… the contract is complete. I will not allow you to die without my permission.”

 _I really want to say that to him too, but he’ll definitely yell at me if I do…. I guess it doesn’t need to be said._ Instead, Hinata gripped Gundham’s hand so ightly that he started to hurt himself.  
  
Gundham strained his entire face, and then started to grip him back as well. Neither boy seemed to know how to hold hands properly, so it instead became a battle of endurance between the two of them.

Hinata, however was smiling in spite of the pain. The last few days had been nothing but stress on him, and yet, suddenly it was like none of that mattered. He felt so happy, just being acknowledged by someone.  
  
Gundham, gave a peaceful smile.  
_This time… I was able to take someone’s hand._ _  
_ _This person doesn’t regret meeting me…_ _  
_ _They don’t regret that I was born._ _  
_ _I hope… things stay that way._ _  
_ _I want this simple minded boy to stay this way forever._

“So… if we’re friends now are you going to give me your underwear? That seems to be a thing students at Hope’s Peak do for some reason.”  
  
“I never wear underwear. I prefer to let things hang loose down there.”  
  
_Don’t picture it. Don’t picture it._ Hinata suddenly fell backwards in shock as his face turned red. _I’m picturing it and for some reason it’s not as bad as I thought it would be._

“Hinata, not only do you have a pure mind, you have a pure heart as well, don’t you? Do you wag your tail both ways?”

“Th… this is a killing game! It’s not the time to worry about stuff like that.”

 

 ♛

 

“Mikan-chan! Can you help me with Ryoko-chan, she’s all tied up right now.”

“...”  
  
Kumagawa tilted his head, watching her as she stared off into space. “Mikan-chan, is something wrong?”  
“Ah! Kumagawa-senpai? When did you…?”  
  
“I was trying to get your help with something for awhile now.”  
  
“Really…? I can’t help anyone. Ah, I’m sorry for saying something so rude! Y-you’re mad, right? You’d normally get mad right now, right?”  
  
“I wouldn’t get mad at you, Mikan-chan.”  
  
“Is that… normal? Why…? Why isn’t anyone pouring water on me, or throwing mud at me? WDoes everyone hate me or something? Is that why everyone isn’t doing anything to me?”  
  
“They’re relying on you Mikan-chan.”  
“Nobody’s looking at me!”  
  
“I’m looking at you!”  
  
“No you’re not… you’re looking at Junko. You only care about her. The moment you stop looking away from me, it means you don’t care about whether I exist or not right? If I don’t have you nobody cares about me… I’m trying… I’m trying so hard to do things on my own but I keep doing things wrong. How am I supposed to know what I look like when nobody is looking at me?”

 _I…_ _  
_ _I assumed she was just like me, that she was scared of violence and being hated._ _  
_ _What she hates the most is when nobody is interested in her at all though._ _  
_ _I thought I was being kind keeping her away from me. Making her one of the detested minus._ _  
_

“Mikan-chan, of course everybody cares about you. You’re not a minus like me, you’re not a despair like Junko, you’re uniquely you… I… I’m so sorry I just thought our issues were the same. I thought we were the same, but you’re a much better person than me. You took all of your trauma and turned it into a talent. You’re not weak, or useless, okay? I only tried to make you okay with being called those things to make myself feel better. You don’t… you don’t have to be okay with being hurt, you don’t have to learn how to like it, I don’t want to see you get hurt anymore. Please, stop looking to me and other people’s faces look at yourself. You’re not seeing it but… everyone appreciates you, everyone respects you, you belong among the elites not the minus. You’re their friend.”  
  
“Friends…? Me and everyone else…? Is that even possible? B-but no, I did terrible things. I tried to smother Komaeda.”  
  
“He’ll forgive you. He’s always saying ‘You can kill me for the killing game’ anyway so, I don’t think he’ll mind. It’ll be fine because, they want you around, they want to be your friend.”  
  
“I can’t believe in something like that.”  
  
“That’s what I believe? You don’t believe me? You know… I can only tell the truth right now.”  
  
“N-no, of course I do. Thank you very much… I want to believe you…”  
  
“Mikan-chan I… I don’t want you to become a killer, or be killed. You should just leave me alone and go with them.”  
  
“Kumagawa-senpai, there’s no way I could leave you alone. I… I… wait a second.”  
  
“What are you doing?”  
  
“Trying to give you my underwear.”  
  
“What? Is that some weird Hope’s Peak tradition I never hear about. That’s so-” Suddenly, Kumagawa rushed forward and wrapped his arms around Mikan. Something flew through the air and dug into his shoulder. He barely reacted to the pain of being stabbed, only looked around.  
  
“A murder attempt. Mikan-chan, run and go find somebody.”  
  
“K-k-k-k-k-kumagawa-senpai? Why did you do that? Why are you always jumping straight into pain like that?”  
  
“Eh? It doesn’t matter if someone like me gets hurt, I’m used to it but this is umm…” Kumagawa’s body slumped against hers. Suddenly, he felt himself going numb. With the last bit of strength he could muster from his arm, he picked up a stray scalpel and dipped it into his own wound. As he cut across it, a strange liquid came out. “Oh this is poison... that’s harder to deal with…my body won’t move. Well… it’s fine, just leave me here and run. There’s no consequence in this game if I die.”  
  
“But you hate dying, Kumagawa-senpai…”

 _Kumagawa-senpai._ _  
_ _That day when you saved me, you were probably just acting on a whim._ _  
_ _But, from that day forward, you were like a star._ _  
_ _To me who could only see darkness and despair._ _  
_ _Maybe your light is tiny._ _  
_ _Maybe you can’t save people all the way._ _  
_ _But you give a flash of inspiration, to those who are at their lowest point._ _  
_ _Just by exuding your shining confidence._ _  
_ _I was really happy when you looked at me._ _  
_ _I was really cold when you looked away._ _  
_ _But, it’s because I met you._ _  
_ _I who was always suffering in the silence of night._ _  
_ _Could be soothed just a little bit._ _  
_ _  
_ Tsumiki Mikan picked him up over her shoulder, and began to carry him away. She turned her back on their would be assassin, using her whole back to protect him.  
  
Kumagawa struggled against her as she did, but just like always in the most critical oment he could not get his body to move in the right way. “Mikan-chan, stop! I was only using you! It felt good having someone talented like you depend on a pathetic person like me! I made you take care of Junko even though I knew she would hurt you more. Stop it, just leave me be!”

“Kumagawa-senpai, I know a lot of the encouraging words you said to be were lies… but I choose to believe in them. You asked me to believe in you, didn’t you? Then… this is it. This is my choice. I’m not doing this to please you.”  
  
“Let go of me! Stop it! Stop! Mikan-chan I’m telling you to stop!”  
  
“I’m doing this for myself!”  
  
She threw Kumagawa back into the hospital, room, and locked the door behind him. She could hear him pounding on the other side. However, those doors could not be opened from the inside.  
  
_I hope the sun never rises._ _  
_ _I hope nothing obscures you._ _  
_ _What little light you give is enough.  
__I was happy enough being the moon that reflected it.  
_ _As long as you can continue on shining, I am certain._ _  
_ _You could even melt  a heart of pure ice._ _  
_

“I’m not special! I hurt you too! I lied to you! Mikan-chan, I knew who your beloved was all along! I erased your memories! I kept stringing you along on lies! I screwed you against a wall! I made you fight in a stupid fighting tournament! I haven’t done enough to make up for that yet, not nearly enough, so please open this door, I’m begging you please…”  
  
“Kumagawa-senpai. It’s okay because… I forgive you.”  
  
After that, he could not hear Mikan on the other side of the door.  
Kumagawa Misogi summoned his screw, he would just bore a hole through the door and then…  
No.  
He had promised Ryoko, he would choose her.  
He had no choice to watch again.  
That was his consequence, for choosing to walk the path of despair with her.

 ♛

  
I woke up to the sound of sobbing.

I checked my own eyes, to see if I was crying, but they were both dry. When I looked around, I saw someone leaning back against the door his face buried in his hands.

The ropes that were around me had been cut off with a knife thrown carelessly to the side of the room. I checked my memory notebook, and it told me. Just like sleeping beauty, I had to wait for the person I loved to return to me and save me from this bed.  
  
Then, that person in the room with me crying must be the person I love!  
  
For some reason though, I find the sight of his crying face beautiful. A I some kind of terrible person? I wondered. There was something about this person though, something that drew me closer to them.  
  
It’s normal to want to comfort somebody when they’re crying I guess, but I’m far from a normal girl. I’m an empty girl who forgets everything. Yet, I reached towards his face, and gently wiped away at it. “Hey, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?"  
  
"Do you remember my name yet?"  
  
"Nope!"  
  
"Remember my name like you did his..."  
  
"Who are we talking about again?"  
  
"Then, I don't want to tell you..."   
  
"Hey, hey, tell me! Heeeeey, heeeeey, tell me, tell me!”  
  
“Heeeeeey, heeeeey, shut up. I don’t want to tell someone who gets so excited at the sight of others crying.”  
  
“It’s fine, it’s fine! Tell me, tell me, tell me!”  
  
“Why do you want to know so badly?”  
  
“It’s normal to want to know why someone you love is crying, isn’t it?”  
  
“I… I already told you, you don’t love me.”  
  
“Why do you keep saying that?”  
  
“Because there’s nothing to love. I’m… I’m nothing more than a liar. Ryoko-chan, I’ve been lying to you all along. There’s a person who is more important to me than anyone else. I’m only taking care of you because I wanted to meet that person again. That person is you, your real name is Junko.”

He could avoid the honest disease simply by being quiet.  
He could have bitten his tongue.  
And yet, at this moment he could not help himself.  
Everything twisted up inside of him.

“ I infected you with the despair disease on purpose so you would forget everything, because I didn’t want you to learn my secrets. I didn’t do it for you, or to be with you… those were… all lies. I did it all for myself. Everything I did was because I just wanted you to stay alive, I don’t care what your opinion of the matter is.”  
  
It was slowly becoming untwisted.  
  
“I promised to protect the real person you loved, Matsuda-kun, but I let him die due to my own incompetence. That too, was a lie. Every single thing I said to you, lies, lies, lies.”  
  
“Hey, so this is what your face looks like! I’ve been drawing it all wrong.” She reached forward, cupping both of his cheeks. “I was scared, because I loved you, but I couldn’t remember anything about you. I’m a weird girl aren’t I? Because… learning you were lying to me, just made me smile. I remember now. This sensation, this pain, I met a boy once in pitch black, a hopelessly lonely person, a completely hopeless person. Just like me.”  
  
This time, she was the one smiling at him. Smiling through the pain.  
  
“It’s you isn’t it bear riv-uh?”  
  
Suddenly, her expression went completely blank.  
  
Kumagawa was overtaken by her beauty in that moment. “Marry me please, Ryoko-chan!”

“Eh…?....Hm?...Hm? Hm? Hm?” Enoshima Junko tilted her head. “What the hell are you talking about? What happened to your face? It looks way more stupid than usual… actually, where are we and- ACK! ACK MY HEAD. MY HEAD MISOGI MAKE THE HEADACHE STOP NOW! I ORDER YOU MAKE THE OUCHIES STOP! MY BRAIN IS BEING AN EVEN WORSE BITCH THAN ME!”

Kumagawa Misogi, smiled at this.

『Cranky smartmouth good for nothing Junko is back. That means a body must have been discovered.』  
  
“Oi, you’re the last person on earth that gets to call anybody a good for nothing.”

『It’s not my fault! It’s the honesty disease.』  
  
“Yeah, but that obviously ended for you five seconds ago, because you’re lying like usual.”

『Hahahaaha, whoops.』  
  
“Wait, why did you just yell marry me, at me?”  
  
『Do you really not remember anything that happened? So, all those embarrassing things I went to the trouble of saying really did become nothing, huh?』

"What? You said something embarrassing? Something I could make fun of you for saying? Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me!"

Kumagawa Misogi put a finger in front of his lips. 『Ssssssh. It’s private between Ryoko-chan and me, there’s no way I’m telling.』  
  
“So wait… you’re telling me this time around… I totally missed out on everybody suffering under the motive? A bunch of things happened… and I wasn’t important in any of them?”  
  
Junko made a sound of true agony as she had not been able to meddle properly with other people’s lives this time, and fell backwards onto Kumagawa’s lap. In response, he softly petted her hair as he usually did and waited out her tantrum.

 

 ♛

  
Hinata Hajime did not know why he had fallen asleep, but by the time he woke up from the lights going through the window he could already tell it was the next morning.

 _Cold._ _  
_ _Something’s cold._ _  
_ _It’s cold and wet._

He cracked open an eye to see Mikan laying down next to him.  
  
“Tsumiki, how many times have I told you…” He reached a hand forward and poked her, only to see her not react at all to his touch. Strange. Mikan was the most sensitive person she knew. Every time she fell asleep in the same bed as him, she always woke up the instant he did and started freaking out.  
  
He touched her back, only to see her body roll over and hit the floor. Hinata Hajime jerked backwards in pure surprise and hit the person that was sleeping behind him.  
  
Tanaka Gundham also rolled off the bed and onto the floor. Hinata Hajime quickly stood up and went to each of their sides. Even if he was not a genius, from the fact that their bodies were covered in red and the bed itself was soaked in something sticky he could tell they were both dead.  
  
Tanaka Gundham was dead.  
Mikan Tsumiki was dead.  
He stumbled backwards, and clawed at the door wanting to get out only to realize the door was locked.  
There was absolutely nothing he could do for either of them.  
The moment he realized how useless he was in this situation, Hinata Hajime let loose a terrible scream that echoed through his completely hollow body.   
  
He heard a click on the other side, and he saw Komaeda’s face, flushed with life standing there.  
  
_My throat hurts.  
__Why does my throat hurt so much?  
__Oh, it's because I've been screaming.  
__Oh hey, Komaeda's there._  
  
The moment Komaeda looked at the bodies behind him, an alarm rung in the background.  
  
“A body has been discovered. A body has been discovered.”

Hinata felt so many things at once, and could process exactly zero of the. The sight of Komaeda’s face, the sight of him walking again was a relief at least. He wanted to say something to him, the first thing he said since Komaeda fell sick. It felt like the first time they had talked in so long, even though it had only been a few days. He needed to say something smart at this moment.

“WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU LIKED BOY!” Hinata blurted out.  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“I MEAN I LIKE GIRLS SO.”  
  
“There are two dead people, we should start looking for clues now.”  
  
“DOES THAT MEAN ALL MY CRUSHES EWRE LIES? NOT THAT I REMEMBER HAVING A LOT OF CRUSHES BUT…”  
  
“Hinata-kun, this is a killing game this isn’t really the time to talk about things like that.”  
  
HInata bashfully scratched at his cheek, and then wheezed. “Uh… right…”


	27. The Shadow At Your Feet (12 -Hospital x Horror)

Like water.

Like trying to see underwater, that was the only way he could describe this sensation.  
Something heavy had fallen over him, he sweat so much he felt like drowning, and any motion he made with his body was pushing against a force that surrounded him and pushed him down from every angle.  
  
Not only his physical body, but his sensory capabilities as well. Everything he tried to look at, was like looking through deep, dark, water, whose waves diverted and confused the light. Everything he tried to touch, he only felt the numbness of slow drowning through his body, everything he tried to listen to the sound was muffled by a layer of water, and when he opened his mouth to speak the words bubbled up out of his control.  
  
Komaeda felt himself sinking deeper, and deeper into this water, and as usual he had absolutely no urge at all to swim up towards the surface. So much of his time was spent merely treading water, resisting drowning that he tired himself out. Perhaps now he could simply close his eyes and let himself rest.  
  
Before he could close his eyes entirely, he caught a glimpse of something. Standing above the surface of the water there was a figure, one with black hair and red eyes. He blinked and that person was gone, and only Hinata-kun was standing there. That voice somehow cut crystal clear through the water when everything else was foggy, as if that person was the only other one in the world speaking to him.  
  
“Aaaah, sorry I just…”

That person reached out through the water to touch him. Komaeda’s senses which had been dulled by the water were suddenly set on fire. He could feel everything at once, or rather everything he felt was concentrated in his cheek, at their sole point of contact. It was like a single ray of light from the sun had touched his cold, and almost dead body.  
  
He looked up to see the hand that was reaching out for him, the person it belonged to was a silhouette. Like, somebody had dropped ink onto a piece of paper, then slowly dropped water onto it one by one, the ink of that silhouette began to separate and leak out. He saw black tendrils growing from Hinata-kun’s hair, reaching all the way down to nearly touching the floor.  
  
Light hit the surface of the water and began to separate behind that person. Komaeda saw every color imaginable bloom behind that person, like everything was contained within that person, no like that person was his everything.  
  
Synesthesia, a mixing of the senses, something Komaeda experienced lightly due to the many wires crossed in his brain. Those colors, the sounds he associated with each of them, as he heard them he could hear a familiar melody. Yes, he had heard this song before. He had seen this person before.  
  
He had seen something so beautiful…?

 _I’m going to lose it._ _  
_ _I’m going to lose this important thing._ _  
_ _I’m going to lose everything._ _  
_

Komaeda thought and immediately opened his mouth to try to call out to him, to tell him not to leave him alone,  but the water was still there and the moment he opened his mouth he began to choke on the water rushing in.“All alone with Hinata-kun, huh… I can’t stand being in the same room as you.”  
  
“Don’t worry, I’m leaving. You should focus on that crappy disease of yours.”

That person’s face was covered in shadows. All Komaeda could make out of it was two glowing red dots. He could not even remember the face of the person he cared so much about, he wanted to see them, he wanted to see them, he wanted to see them, he wanted to see their face one last time.  
  
He wanted to see them smile at him, and only him.  
  
“Yeah, hurry up and go away. I don’t want to see your face anymore.”  
  
The moment the figure turned his back, Komaeda extended a hand outwards towards him. He reached forward, desperate, gasping, he had no wish to continue treading water but he would swim to the surface just to see that person again. That person who contained every color, that person who was the son to him, the lone source of warmth.

He reached out for the colors, but colors were not phsyical things, they were just light. The light slipped through his fingers and he could grasp onto nothing, and he could not even feel it’s warmth.  
  
Disappointed again, he let his hand fall on the edge of the bedside. Just when he had given up on struggling and decided to let himself sink to the bottom though, another person reached out and grabbed his hand.  
  
He looked up and saw clear on the surface of the water this was Hinata-kun, this could be nobody else in the world but Hinata-kun. This warmth was Hinata-kun’s warmth. The person always reaching out for his hand, no matter how many times it was batted away. He just wanted to thank him, for giving him his hand.  
  
“Your hands are sweaty, and way too cold. Let go of me…”

Oh well.  
Even if he was not tainted with sickness, he was sure he would have said something just as terrible.  
Komaeda’s mind however, could not work out an indecipherable problem. Who was that person besides Hinata-kun that he had seen, just for a moment?  
  
He could remember nothing, he could think of no good answer, but somehow intuitively he knew this. If that person was the sun, than Hinata-kun was the moon who had no light of his own and could only reflect illusion and shadow. The sun and the moon could not occupy the same sky, and for some reason that thought saddened him deeply.

If there was a hand that tried to pull him up, there was also a hand that pushed him down, down, deeper than he had ever sunk before. He looked at the hands in front of him, and saw bandages on one hand, but not the other. Suddenly, staring right at him was a girl whose hair separated into long, uneven split ends.  
  
_Tsumiki…_  
She looked like Tsumiki in every way except one, her eyes were hollowed out, like they had been scooped out and only the hollow holes in her head remained. Then, he saw an inky black liquid fall from her eyes like tears and spread out into the water. As it reached the water it spiraled, the white water, sloshing against the black liquid, hope and despair mixing until they became indistinguishable from one another.

Then, his entire world went black. He had brushed up against death so many times, but never felt it so close to him. He could feel the pillow being pushed against his sweat soaked face, a sticky, unpleasant feeling. Hsi chest burned wanting to breathe again. If he could just close his eyes and let himself sink a little bit further, he would drown completely in this despair. 

He had wanted to die in the hands of an ultimate since the beginning of this game. He had said it over and over again, and yet, now that it was finally in front of him, his eyes widened, and watered at the corners. _Crying? Why…_  
  
Komaeda had always pictured his whole life might flash before his eyes, but all he saw now was a few moments. Kuagawa, Mikan and him hanging out in the student council office.  
_Mikan… Mikan is killing me?_  
He would gladly offer his life to any ultimate who wanted to kill him.  
_So why does this feel like a betrayal._  
There was no reason at all to care about Kumagawa, he contained nothing within him.  
He did not like Mikan outside of being an Ultimate, she was attention hungry and always needed to be important. She only helped others to help herself in the end, and loved to play the victim.  
Ikusaba Mukuro was just a shadow to her sister, she was nothing but a reflection of the other girl.  
Enoshima Junko was the person he despised the most. He only watched her to watch her defeat.  
Then why, right at this moment was he recalling a peaceful scene of Kumagawa sitting in the corner of the room reading manga, Enoshima Junko filing her nails, Ikusaba Mukuro cleaning out one of her guns, and Tsumiki Mikan redoing the stitches on one of her arms.  
The small sounds and small sights contained within that room were not hope, and therefore they were nothing at all.  
Yet, as he saw the edges of those frames being burned out, spots appearing and widening, like a film projector was being damaged and broken and the film itself ruined forever, for some reason he was sad to see them go.

The moment the curtain fell, the show would be over. It would be forgotten about, as it had never been an important enough show to remember in the first place. No matter how many times he wished for it to be over, its abrupt end bothered him. The water that was surrounding him, pooling all around him, this sensation of loss was something he wanted to fight against. Struggle, struggle, struggle brilliantly, push back against the pillow on his face, bite the hands that were near him, tear, rip, claw, do anything, anything at all to survive. Do anything, at least one thing, just manage one twitch. Thrash against this water, try to swim to the surface on his own for once, break the surface and see the light.  
  
But, he could not.  
Not even one twitch. If Kumagawa were here he would struggle. Was it the sickness of his body that made it so hard to move, or was it just some defect in himself?  He did not have enough time to consider it, all that was left for him to do was simply aceppt it, and he could not even do that.

 _It’s my fault._ _  
_ _Forgive me._ _  
_ _I apologize for everything up until now, so please forgive me._ _  
_ _It’s my loss, Tsumiki._ _  
_ _I…_ _  
_ _I wanted to die right._ _  
_ _I wanted to…._ _  
_ _What do I want._ _  
_ _I want I want I want I want I want I want._ _  
_ _Everything._ _  
_ _More._ _  
_ _More. Everything._

He saw a different scene now, two boys in school uniforms sitting next to each other laughing. They were not doing anything in particular, just enjoying their days as the cherry blossoms fell in front of them. One of them had pure white hair that spiraled in every direction, the other had brown spiky hair with one obvious antenna sticking up in the middle. He reached his hand, his pale cold hand out and put it where the boy was letting his hand rest on the bench, and as he laid his hand over the other’s, the boy did not take his hand away.

_!!_

_Ah…._

Then suddenly it stopped, the pillow was thrown away and he gasped for air. He had no idea what made her stop in that moment, but he could hear that name again. MIkan muttered it under her breath between sobs.  
  
“Kumagawa… Kumagawa…”  
  
That person was saving him again, when he hadn’t even asked for it.  
This feeling…  
_How sickening…_

 

 ♛

 

Then, suddenly it was all over.  
He heard Hinata screaming from the inside of the room. Without thinking, he stood up out of his bed and made his way across the hall to the third hospital room. When he turned the knob the door would not unlock. Apparently he had been spending too much time with Hinata, and Hinata rubbed off on him because all he could think of to do at that moment was keep turning the nod as it made a useless clicking noise.  
  
Next to him, Kurokami Medaka gently and politely nudged him out of the way with her shoulder and then ripped the door off of its hinges with a casual pull. Komaeda had no warning, no slow anticipation, he simply saw the reality in front of him.  
  
Tsumiki Mikan was dead. His brain immediately put together this reason for why. _It was because she did not kill me at that moment. She died because I lived, once again._ Every time he tried to throw himself into this killing game to give somebody else a chance of survival, he ended up making a murder victim.  
  
_It would have been better, it would have been better if I was the one who died. Then Tsumiki-san would have a chance of getting off this island at least._ He wondered if this was his fault somehow, if him wishing not to die for that one brief moment brought such a cruel fate into existence.  
  
Regardless of what he did, now there was no going back to those days he imagined spending peacefully in the old student council room. Tsumiki Mikan had died regardless of what he did… no he had absolutely nothing to do with it. This entire time all he had done was lay in bed, and dream of a boy who never even existed. Of happiness with him that never even existed.

That made it three trials in a row that left him feeling disappointed. The first time because Hinata did not understand properly his want to witness his hope, the second time because he did not feel anything from the resolution, and this time now because he was barely involved in events at all. No, perhaps the disappointing element in all three cases was him. Disappointment was neither hope nor despair, it was just an empty emotion that came hand in hand with desiring for something… he could not become hope if he was a disappointment.  
  
He glanced up for the hospital slippers he had put on to walk across the hallway and looked at Hinata. That was right he needed to put those thoughts aside and act for the sake of everybody else. Especially Hinata, whose target eyes were now watching him. He needed to act like his normal self… he needed to act normal, yes… like his usual self.  
  
Therein lied the rub, the boy had no concept of normal, usual, or ordinary. He had almost no sense of self perception, if he were looking in a mirror he would simply avert his eyes. The moment he called attention to that fact, he realized he had been talkng on auto pilot to Hinata up until this point and could no longer remember what he wanted to say.

“....”  
  
“Komaeda, are you alright? It’s weird for you to go this long without running your mouth off and saying something stupid. Are you sure you’ve recovered fully?”

Komaeda looked around to observe the room. As he was the only one standing in the doorway, he saw two bodies lying on the floor both of his former classmates. Tanaka Gundham’s body was covered in lacerations, and Tsumiki Mikan’s body was completely untouched except for a rope that was pulled tight upon her neck. At first glance, bleeding to death and suffocation and not only that but Hinata Hajime was alive in the room with both bodies in a room that only locked from the inside. That was the first puzzle they were going to be expected to solve, but Komaeda knew right away Hinata was not the one who killed those two. That solution was easy enough to work out, but he could not announce it out loud. If a person like him solved that mystery than it was probably not even worth solving, the Ultimates would figure it out on their own.

He glanced back up at Hinata finally, his finger had curled around his chin as he did. “Mmm… nothing, I was merely thinking.”  
  
“Oh, you’re capable of thinking before you talk, I didn’t know.” Hinata said, rather hypocritically. “What are you thinking about then?”  
  
_Say something how you normally would. He’s already suspicious don’t make it worse._ “I was thinking we should go on a date.” He said, much smoother than normal. Suddenly, his forehead cracked, and he could feel the heat in the room despite knowing his fever was cured. _What am I saying...I sound creepy..._ “Do you feel like going to the movies with me, Hinata-kun?”

“Y-you’re the one who just said this is an investigation!”

“Is that a no?” _Stop it mouth._ _  
_ _  
_ “N-no… I mean... “

“I’m just joking. It’s cute how easily you get worked up. I was just saying we should meet up at the movies as a part of our investigation.” _I said you stop that._ Komaeda said, as his finger reached up towards his bangs, and nervously he entwined a finger in the curls of his hair.

“S-so you want to investigate together again…” Hinata looked down at the bodies at his feet. The targets of his eyes widened for a moment and Komaeda could see it, he was already beginning to take responsibility for what had happened. They were alike in that way. “Yeah, for Gundham and Mikan’s sake, we should…”

 _Since when did you get close enough to start using their first names? No. Don’t worry about that._ “Investigating with Hinata-kun, huh? Sounds like a pain. I don’t know if I have the patience to hold your hand the entire time this time around…” Komaeda said as he pulled his finger away from the curls of his hair and stared at his own finger.  
  
“What… but, we’ve investigated together every time so far.”  
  
“Yeah, and I think you would have learned to do it on your own by now, an Ultimate shouldn’t be that slow of a learner.” Komaeda said dismissively as he turned around. _Apparently, Hinata hasn’t figured out yet that he’s going to be the prime suspect because he was alone with the bodies. If I investigate with him, it’ll only make others more suspicious of him.  
_  
Just as he was almost towards the door, Hinata suddenly reached out for him. He was caught by the elbow of his blue hospital gown. “So what if I want to rely on you? I thought that’s what you said you wanted… to help me shine.”

 _What I want is…_ “You… you’re really cute Hinata-kun, but you know there’s not much you can rely on me for this time around. I was asleep the entire time, remember? If you want to see me that badly though, remember we still have our date at the movies. I’ll be waiting.” Komaeda said before forcefully shaking off Hinata’s hand and turning his back away again.  
  
“Why are you acting so weird? I thought you were going to go back to normal after this sickness thing was over… well not normal but… our version of normal.” HInata muttered after Komaeda had left. Not before Kurokami Medaka  appeared in the doorway and the alarm went off a second time.  
  
“A body has been discovered, a body has been discovered.”

Komaeda sharply looked back for just a moment, and then decided to note that detail down as well.

  
  
 ♛

 

Hinata let his head fall, already feeling Komaeda’s absence. Perhaps Komaeda had just figured out finally that Hinata was no help on these investigations and did not want to put up with him anymore. Whatever the reason was, the feeling hollowed Hinata out.

Monokuma suddenly appeared in the room and handed him two tablets at once. “Here you go, I hope you students appreciate all the hard work I do for you.”  
  
“You really, really shouldn’t have…” Hinata sighed as he looked over both of the Monokuma files.

_Time of death is hard to estimate in both cases. Tsumiki Mikan’s body shows signs of bruising around the neck. Gundham’s body is covered in several different leisures, abrasions and cuts. The apparent cause of death in the first case is strangulation, and the second apparent cause of death is blood loss._

“Where did all the blood go then?” Hinata asked as he looked at Gundham’s body, cut up in every direction but not particularly bleeding.  
  
“Presumably the killer cleaned up after themselves.” Kirigiri Kyoko said as she walked next to him, and snatched the tablet from his hand.

“Hey-”

“As the prime suspect for this imitation locked room murder, you probably shouldn’t be the one to hold all the evidence, senpai.” Kyoko explained in a calm voice, but her eyes watching him did not match the temperment of her voice at all.  
  
“What do you mean?”

“You were found in the room alone with the bodies. Unless, do you have an explanation for that?”  
  
Hinata scratched at his cheek awkwardly. “Not… really…” However, that was not what he had asked about, which made him raise his hand slowly.  
  
“Why are you raising your hand?”  
  
“I have another question.”  
  
Kyoko sighed, and simply turned away from him. Hinata realized that route dialogue route was probably not the one that would lead to his good ending, so he leaned over Monokuma instead and whispered into his plush ear. “What’s a locked room murder? And uhhh…. What’s an imitation murder?”

“God, why are you even on this island, Hinata?”  
  
“You’re the one who knows why I’m on this island more than I do!” Hinata snapped at him, crossing his arms and turning away.  
  
Kurokami Medaka still in her hospital robe finally spoke up. It seemed after listening for so long she had finally caught up with reality. “A locked door mystery, or impossible crime mystery is a subgenre in detective fiction in which a crime is committed in circumstances under which it was seemingly impossible for the perpetrator to commit the crime or evade detection in the course of getting in and out of the crime scene. Hence the locked room, a locked room is present in the mystery with no indication on how the intruder could have entered or left.”

“You’re just a walking google search engine aren’t you… Do you really know everything?” Hinata said, looking back at her.  
  
“I only know the things that I’ve learned.” Medaka answered casually, nonchalant about her own overwhelming sense of talent as usual. “An imitation crime is when the crimminal imitates something they’ve seen on television, movies, or video games-”  
  
“It’s such a tired trope in detective novels these days, I bet the killer thought they were clever just piling two cliches on top of one another.” Kyoko said, interrupting as she was suddenly uncharacteristically passionate. She averted her eyes immediately afterwards and put a hand in her hair as her face reddened. “At least, that’s what I’ve heard, f-from the people who are into that sort of thing.”

Hinata realized he might not even be allowed to investigate this time around, but that would mean he was not only useless in stopping Gundham and MIkan’s killers having slept through the crime, but that he also did nothing to catch their killer. “W-wait, you’ve got to give me a chance to clear my name please.” For some reason, the prospect of doing nothing, scared him more than the prospect that he might die and be wrongly convicted.  
  
Suddenly, another girl with cold eyes appeared in the door. “If you don’t trust him, you can trust me.” Pekoyama said, crossing her arms and holding them by the elbow. “I’ll watch over him.”  
  
“I knew I could count on you, Peko.”  
  
“If he is the criminal then he could slip up when he returns to the scene of the crime.”  
  
“We’re just bringing out all the cliches this time around, huh? Watch yourself then, Senpai.”  
  
“W-wait, let’s not jump to conclusions here…” Hinata said his eyebrow twitching. He knew that by now though, Pekoyama probably meant the best. She just had a rather harsh way of putting things.

Kyoko stood up from her inspection of the bodies, adjusting her gloves as she did so by pulling on the end of one. “My investigation is complete. The monopad’s analysis seems to hold up, but I noticed two more things. The  key is in Mikan’s pocket still, but there’s a hole in her pocket. Her bandages are also odd…” She reached up and picked up one of Mikan’s arms, and Hinata noticed right away. The girl usually only had one arm bandaged but this time both amrs were bandaged all the way up to her shoulders. She did not look that way the last time he remembered  seeing her. “As for Tanaka-senpai, the only strange thing I took note of is that his hamsters are nowhere to be found.”  
  
“Oh, no… not the fuzzies…” Pekoyama let out a small gasp and put a hand over her mouth in concern.  
  
“Th-they have to be around here somewhere.”  Hinata said, suddenly trying to reassure her.  
  
“Yeah, I mean murdering teenagers is fine but animal cruelty? What kind of game would I be running here if I let  something horrible like that happen?” Monokuma said, still chattering in the background.

“Was there any other key for the doors in this hospital?”  
  
“No, we let Tsumiki have the only one because she was the only person who wasn’t infected staying overnight.” Hinata recalled. When Hinata looked back, he noticed Kyoko was crawling underneath the bed. “Uh… is there something hidden under there.”  
  
“No, I just thought it would be a nice place for a nap.” Kyoko answered in a voice devoid of any emotion which left it impossible for Hinata to tell if she was kidding or not.  
  
“Oh, Kurokami, you should find Naze, and Hitoyoshi! They were both worried about you.” Hinata said, looking over to the girl who usually had an overwhelming presence and so was being unusually quiet at the moment.  
  
“Y-yes that sounds good but… first... “ She brushed a hand through her shortened purple mane. “I need to find a mirror, I look terrible and I have no recollection of what I’ve done for the past week. I hope it wasn’t… anything shameful…”  
  
As Hinata watched her leave the room, he tilted his head in confusion. “Wow…For a tough girl she has an unexpectedly girly side…” Suddenly he felt a sharp pain in his side and looked over to Peko who had elbowed him. “Ow… what was that for?”  
  
“Having a girly side doesn’t make you any less tough, nor does a love for the fuzzies…” She said quietly.  
  
“Of course not, all the girls on this island are terrifying.”

“I… I’m terrifying then?”

“N-no! Peko, if you take everything that comes out of my mouth seriously we’re going to have serious problems.”  
  
“There’s no way I could stop listening to you though… you are my guidepost, Hinata.”  
  
“Huh, what, no way!” He said as he scratched at the side of his cheek again, but for some reason being relied on that made him feel fuzzy all over again. “Let’s start investigating then, Peko.”

 **Evidence Obtained:** **  
** **> Monokuma File: Gundham Tanaka** **  
** **> Monokuma File: Tsumiki Mikan** **  
** **> Mikan’s Key** **  
** **> Hole in Mikan’s Pocket** **  
** **> Missing Four Devas** **  
**  
“Hmm, since when did you start calling me Peko?”  
  
“Oh uh… Am I not supposed to?” Hinata said as he looked back from the hallway they were walking down together.  
  
“It’s rather rude…”  
  
“Sorry.”  
  
“But it’s rather like you as well. You have a bad habit of rudely crawling into other people’s hearts.”  
  
“I seriously can never tell when you guys are insulting me or not, I might as well be by Komaeda.” Hinata said with an exasperated sigh, before stopping suddenly hearing the other boy in the hallway. Komaeda usually spoke in a wispy voice, but as heard now it barely sounded above a whisper and yet floated down the hallways all the same. “Speaking of him, do you mind if he comes along. If I’m not watching him he might cause trouble.”  
  
“And, if he’s not watching you, you’ll have no one to show off in front of.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Nothing, let’s go find him.” Pekoyama said adjusting her glasses. As they stopped in front of the door though, Pekoyama heard the sound of a shower and realized a moment before Hinata did the kind of scene they would suddenly be walking into. “Hinata, perhaps we should wait a moment…”  
  
“We don’t have time there’s a time limit for these investigations you know. Besides, that guy’s no good on his own.”

 _You should be talking._ Pekoyama thought, but she held her tongue politely and simply followed him.  
  
_“I just count the hours till we get to meet, but every minute is a long time…”_ Hinata heard a singing voice rise up over the gentle sound of falling water. The room was hotter than Hinata remembered it being, and wondered for a moment if he had caught the fever for a few minutes or something before remembering the motive ended. The sound of water suddenly cut off, and the bathroom door open steam leaving it like mists in an oasis.

Through the mists he saw Komaeda’s bare back, pale as the rest of his body. Days worth of sweat had been washed away, and the redness of the fever had gone away as well, leaving his body looking almost glowing. Hinata’s eyes traced down  from the shapely look of his shoulders, to the way his hips curved just like a girl’s. The way those hips dipped, Hinata could imagine sliding his hands right on them and that they would allow his hands to fit perfectly. His eyes trailed even further downward, and  Hinata thought in that moment that Komaeda’s pale skin looked like marbel, like one of those greek statues posing nude. It was art, really.

Komaeda turned around casually, not even noticing the way Hinata was staring at him like art he could not tear his eyes away from and stop appreciating. He put a towel up to his face and started to dry it. Oh, he must have just stepped out of the shower, Hinata finally realized as he saw water dripping down the subtle curves of his collarbone. Komaeda was skinny, but shapely at the same time. Hinata noticed, as he saw many lines drawn into the boy’s body, just under his pecs, just at his hips, dipping down between his legs. As his eyes followed the lines of Komaeda’s body like a roadmap, whatever there was for him to see next was cut off as Komaeda dropped the towel beween his face and held it at his waste, censoring what was between his legs.

Hinata looked up suddenly and met the other boys eyes. He tried to say something, but the mist from the shower was too thick in the air and he was caught off guard, breathless, for a moment.  
  
“Did you walk in on me on accident? How unlucky.” Komaeda spoke first, his cloudy gray eyes as impenetrable as ever in a way that made Hinata want to look into them even deeper. “Or… perhaps it is lucky for me.” Komaeda said with a wink, in a way that made Hinata shiver

 _Huh? Why am I shivering it’s not cold in here? Actually… it’s hot… was it always this warm or is Komaeda making it warm.  
_  
Before his analysis could go any deeper, Pekoyama suddenly spoke up her glasses fogged completely through. “Did you two want to go investigate at some point today?”  
  
Hinata scratched at his cheek, feeling embarrassed again. “A-ah, yeah right. Komaeda I’m not letting you investigate alone.”  
  
“You’re right, the two of us should be able to cruise right through this investigation, between your intuition, my want to see hope shine, and our excellent teamwork.” Komaeda said as he turned around once more and walked over to where Mikan had left his clothes folded in the corner. Right in front of them, as if they were not even there Komaeda started to dress himself.  
  
Pekoyama could not see on account of her glasses being fogged all the way up, but Hinata seemed to be staring closely enough to watch every slow and subtle movement of Komaeda. The way his hair was heavy with the water it was soaked it, but suddenly sprung up to its normal state when Komaeda messed his hair up with his hands. Hinata wondered for a moment what it would be like to get his fingers caught in those tangles.  
  
Komaeda picked up the white shirt he usually wore, and pulled it up over his head for a moment, and then down over his torso. Hinata noted how tightly the white shirt was clinging to his still wet chest. He stepped into a pair of striped boxers slowly, one leg at a time. Then did the same for his pants, as Hinata wondered if the black pants that Komaeda usually wore always hugged his legs so tight. Finally, Komaeda threw his green coat over his back, and pulled his arms through each of the long sleeves. Before this Hinata had always thought Komaeda’s distinctive coat was ratty and old looking, but Hinata wondered what it might be like to wear such a coat. It seemed warm. He wondered what Komaeda would look like if he were wearing only that coat and nothing else.  
  
“Komaeda…” He said, finding it hard to breathe again.  
  
“Hmm, Hinata-kun?” Komaeda looked up once more.  
  
Before their eyes could meet though, Pekoyama suddenly grabbed them both by the arms and started to drag them out of the room. “Come on you two, all the steam is starting to give me a headache…” She muttered.

 

 ♛

Pekoyama, Komaeda, and Hinata found themselves on the inside of the music club. Hinata looked around finding that besides the grungy overall look of the place, it looked rather untouched from last night.  
  
“Wait, why are we investigating here? Didn’t the murder take place at the hospital?”

Komaeda was extremely aware of Hinata’s presence once again, which is why he had wanted to investigate alone in the first place. He was not sure he could at the moment subtly hint at the answers towards Hinata as he usually did. He said nothing instead, and simply tried to look around for what he suspected was missing.  
  
“Hey, Komaeda?” Hinata said, not letting up.  
  
Komaeda looked back once more. _Say something normal._ “Hmm..? Keep staring and you’ll make me blush.”  
  
“Sorry…” Hinata said, looking away suddenly.  
  
Pekoyama was the one to speak up, she easily jumped onto the stage and started to look around. “Do you think somebody might have taken the materials for a killing a few days ago when we were all gathered here for the party and everybody’s attention was on stage?”  
  
“Mmm.” Komaeada hummed softly as he continued to look around. “There was no rope among the hospital supplies Tsumiki-san listed out. I don’t know how they expected their little plan to work though, there was nothing worth watching on stage that night.”  
  
“What are you talking about, you were there…!” Hinata blurted out, not even paying attention to the crime scene at the moment. It was much easier, to focus on the image of Komaeda right in front of him then the still lingering memory of waking up in bed with two dead bodies this morning, of brushing so closely to death, of his own uselessness in protecting those two after making so many promises to watch them just like he did with Chiaki. He smiled at Hinata. “I’m always watching you, aren’t I? When you sang like that, I wondered if I’d ever had such beautiful memories in my own missing memories.”

 _That’s right… Hinata’s memories are gone too could he have forgotten he was… No, don’t think about that that has nothing to do with this moment.  Say something else._ “You should hurry up and remember that talent of yours then, it might be something ultimate smooth talker or something.” _No, don’t say that._

“O-oh!” Hinata said, before looking away. He noticed the back room door ajar, and went to investigate there where most of the supplies for the club were kept. “Komaeda, I found what’s missing!”  He called out from the doorway.

Suddenly, Komaeda was behind him again twirling his inex finger in one of the curls of his hair. “Hee, hee… What would you like a pat on the head?”  
  
“Maybe I do want one..” Hinata said, puffing his cheeks out in a childish pout.  
  
Just then, Pekoyama walked by and patted him on the head, and went to take inventory of what was missing. “There’s a wallpaper scrap on the ground, and several buckets of glue, cleaning things, and chemicals for the stage effects were ransacked. They didn’t even bother to hide it, they must have been in a hurry.”

 **Evidence Gathered** **  
** **> Torn up WallPaper Scrap** **  
** **> Glue** **  
** **> Compounds from Cleaning Solutions** **  
** **> Compounds from Stage Effects solutions**

 

 ♛

 

“Why should we go to the movie threatre again? The last time I was there was unpleasant.”  
  
“I didn’t know you were dreading our date so much.”  
  
“N-no it’s not that! Wait, it’s not even a date stop messing with me! I’m just wondering if you’re actually on my side this time. You always pretend to give me hints… but in the end, you’re just going to be on the killer’s side, right?”  
  
“Awww…. I’m not siding with the killer you know. I’m just on the side of whoever acts in the name of hope… That’s all there is to it.” He said, smiling with closed eyes like a cat with canary feathers still its teeth. _I said something about hope right… yeah that sounds like something I’d usually say._ “That’s the main reason why… This case is really special.”  
  
“I still don’t understand what you’re saying as usual…” Hinata sighed.  
  
Pekoyama walking in between the two of them readjusted her glasses. “Hinata, Komaeda’s way of speaking is just like that. If you want to understand him you’ll have to cut straight through to the truth.”  
  
“I still don’t quite understand the details of what happened. Hey, if you explain what happened in more detail I can give you some useful information.”  
  
“...Really? You might end up confusing us again instead.”  
  
“That’s not true I’m doing this because I believe it’s for everyone’s sake…For the sake of everyone’s hope I’d gladly become the enemy, and I won’t even mind when I die..  ” Komaeda’s eyes stared emptily into his open palm, starting to swirl.  
  
Hinata raised his voice just then. “Nobody even asked you to do that! Fine, I’ll tell you what happened. All I remember from last night is going to bed in a different room than usual because I was worried somebody might crawl into my bed.”  
  
_Oh, Hinata’s upset with me, does that mean I said something like my normal self?_ “Did Tsumiki-san crawl into your bed while you were asleep? That was rather rude of her. What kind of needy person crawls in a bed without asking?”  
  
“K-k-k-k-k-komaeda…” Hinta said, starting to sound like a skipping CD.  
  
“Hmmm?”  
  
Pekoyama averted her eyes, having to hold her hand over her mouth to suppress her giggles.  
  
“Nevermind, forget about it. I finished watching over you by ten o clock and Tsumiki-san told me your condition had mostly stabilized and I could take a break, so I went to one of the other rooms and slept in the extra bed. Then when I woke up the room was locked, and the two bodies were on either side of me… it was…” Hinata could not finish that sentence, the entire memory was a dark shadow looming over him that he could not articulate.  
  
“Four bedrooms, Kurokami-san was in one, Kumagawa-kun and Enoshima-san in the other, I in the last, and then a spare. By that point in their conversation though, they had reached the theatre. The moment they walked through the doors, Komaeda turned around and raised a finger in the air tapping the side of his cheek. “Why hello there, Hinata-kun. I knew you’d come here.”  
  
“I followed you here dude..” Hinata said, his thin eyebrow twitching again.

 _Shoot. I was rehearsing this conversation in my head but it was the version where we split up and met again._ Komaeda hoped Hinata would not notice the rest, and kept talking over the other. “That means you noticed it too, right? The case this time is an imitation case in which the killer used that movie as their theme.”  
  
“Uh-uh, yeah I totally knew what an imitation case was…”  Hinata bashfully scratched at his cheek.

“No you didn’t.” Pekoyama said, immediately cutting through him.  
  
“Whose side on are you on, anyway?” He snapped back at her.  
  
“Yours, that’s why I have to keep you on the straight and narrow path.”

Komaeda looked around the empty theatre. “Then you should really start by watching the movie. Hey, manager! There’s a customer here!” He finished by shouting through his cupped hands.  
  
Monokuma popped up out of nowhere. “Yessss! Didja call me? Huh… Hinata’s the customer?”  
  
“Do you have a problem with that?” HInata said defensively as he felt a vein pulsing in his forehead.  
  
“Upupupu… and you said you didn’t wanna watch it… but I knew you wanted to see it all along.” The bear giggled into his cute plush paws once more. “If that’s what tsundere Hinata looks like, then you’re really a tough guy!”

“I know… he’s so difficult to navigate.” Komaeda said, brushing his hair back with his hands as he said so looking like he was joining in on the gossip with Monokuma over a cute boy.  
  
“You’re the last one who gets to complain about being tough to deal with!” Hinata said, making a poor case for himself as he snapped at Komaeda in a rather tsun fashion.  

“You’re so committed to your tsundere act, that you paid 1.5 million for this sticker.”  
  
“You paid 1.5 million for a sticker?” Komaeda said, suddenly turning around in shock.  
  
“I-it’s nothing.”  
  
“In exchange for not watching this movie, Hinata paid 1.5 million dollars for this sticker. Come on since we’re talking anyway why don’t we show it to Komaeda.”  
  
“S-stop it!” His resistance was in vain.  
  
“See, it’s this one.” Monokuma pulled out a sticker which read _I’m sorry, I was born stupid._  
  
“Y-you bought this for 1.5 million dollars.” Komaeda looked horrified and began to back away slowly.  
  
“Upupu, but in the end you’re going to watch the movie anyway. What a pointless struggle you’ve been through, just like that annoying river bear.”  
  
“Wh-who cares about that anymore! Just hurry up and give me an invitation ticket!”  
  
“Okaaaay! Here ya go! As it says on the ticket it’s only effective this one time. By the way I can only give out one of these for free.”  
  
Hinata looked bashfully back at Komaeda. “Th-then, I have to go in alone?”

Monokuma looked at Hinata as his half smile twitched. “Well, I can make an exception for the twunky boy and the twinky boy. How about you give that sticker back to me and then I’ll exchange it for a second ticket.”  
  
“So, I’ll have spent 1.5 million and not even gotten a sticker…” Hinata looked back to Komaeda for a moment.  
  
Komaeda sighed. “I could never live with myself if I let you go alone. Let’s spend some quality time together.”  
  
“Sorry, Peko do you mind waiting for us?”  
  
Peko merely nodded stoically. She did a good job of hiding the relief on her face of not having to watch that terrible movie again.

 

 ♛

“Umm… I’m sorry for keeping you waiting. World famous director Monokuma presents a stunning masterpiece that reduced American audiences to tears. Now please relax and enjoy the film.”

The movie looked to Hinata like it was animated in MS Paint. ‘The Legend of Ajimu 2.5D” the logo read in comic sans.  
  
“Once upon a time a poorly thought through lumber operation, while leaving the woods because they ran out of money, accidentally backed one of their trucks over a log. From that log popped a beary marketable mascot character named Monokuma.     
  
Monokuma went on a journey to discover himself by going deep into the middle of the woods. First he came upon a loser prince. Apparently, the prince was trying to save a princess in the middle of the woods. Before this he tried to save fifty one other princesses and failed each time. Monokuma lost his temper because it was no fun to watch such a loser, and bit him one thousand times until he died.  
  
Then, he decided to steal his girl. As he was the most beloved series mascot character in the whole world, and therefore he was entitled to the love of all the ladies.  
  
He journeyed deep into the woods and saw another prince trying to climb up the viny walls that surrounded the tower. Humans were idiots with tiny stubby fingernails that could not help them climb, and as punishment for being born stupid like that Monokuma decided to kick the wall hard enough to knock the other prince off. He fell into the vines and was stabbed, cut, and lacerated 1,000 times until he bled to death.  
  
Finally, Monokua used his super awesome bear claws to climb to the top of the tower. When he saw the princess hidden within, she immediately started to worship him. Monokuma however, was too cool and clingy girls were not his type, so he strangled her with her own hair that she had been using to help other princes climb up the tower.  
  
Monokuma decided then to live in the tower, enslave any prince who came by, and live the rest of his days in luxury. And he lived happily ever after! The end!”  
  
The entire movie, Hinata had been paying more attention to whether or not it would be okay to grab Komaeda’s hand when he was sitting right next to him, rather than the contents of the actual movie itself. When he decided to go for it and started to reach for Komaeda’s hand, suddenly Monokuma appeared out of nowhere causing Hinata to freeze like a deer in the headlights.

“Wow. I’m running out of bravos.” Komaeda said drily.  
  
“Man, movies are the best! That drama was so moving that I needed two boxes of tissues! One for each head!”  
  
“...That might be the worst thing that you’ve ever said.”

“Oh, don’t try me I’m sure I can come up with something worse. Like, why have you been so brain deficient lately, Hinata? Is it because you’re thinking with your other head.”  
  
“Shut up!”

Komaeda tilted his head towards them. “What are you two talking about?”  
  
“N-nothing!” Hinata said, his voice cracking as he did. He grabbed Komaeda’s hand right then, causing Komaeda to gasp in surprise, but he had no time to explain he was making a tactical retreat. He rushed out of the theatre before Monokuma could blab anything else.  
  
Pekoyama, waiting outside saw him coming. “So I take it, it went well-aaaaah!” She said, cooly commenting on the boys running and holding hands until her hand was grabbed as well and she was dragged along with the two of them.

 **Evidence Gathered** **  
** **> Imitation Murders** **  
** **> Film Ticket** **  
  
**

 ♛

 

“So, you used the forgetting disease on me believing I’d come back. How beautiful.” Junko sighed lightly, as she finally found a comfortable way to rest her head in his bony lap. The moment she wanted to feel his touch on her face, he reached forward all on his own and traced the curves of her cheek with those rough fingers of his.

『Yeah… I did. I believed in your disgusting vitality and craftiness.』Kumagawa said, as he leaned over her, arcing his back as he did so. He looked like he was trying to conceal her from the rest of the world, though it was only the two of them in this room together.  
  
“So, you just waited for a murder to happen for me to be cured? That’s a somewhat violent way of waking your princess.” Junko said, despite the hypocrisy of her words the gentleness she spoke with was genuine. That was the paradox of her existence after all, she was capable of being anything she wanted to be, therefore nothing she did had any inherent value, or genuine quality.  
  
At least to her, the boy disagreed. He might have been the only one, but he saw something in her.『You were the one who bit into the poison apple, you shouldn’t complain too much if you were irresponsible enough to get tricked in the first place how you were woken up, sleeping beauty.』

“Sleeping beauty… Hmm… I didn’t expect you to say that.” She tapped her forehead with her finger, aggravating the pain that was shooting through her head at the moment but she wanted to keep posing as she spoke. She tilted her head to the side. “I never get bored of talking to you, MIsogi. Nobody else would have said something that unpredictably stupid. Just for your information, it was Snow White who ate the poison apple.”

『Ah, that reminds me. Have you heard of apple suicide?』

“Apple suicide?”

『Yes, apple suicide.』  
  
“What riveting dialogue this is.”

『Shut up, the exposition phase of dialogue can’t always be interesting you know.』  
  
“That sounds like lazy writing on your part, Misogi.”

『This is a spoken conversation, and you’re the girl who always relies on mind control.』

“Anyway, Snow White didn’t commit suicide by apple either.”

『Oh, I got it wrong.』

“Your entire life is wrong.”  
  
『Thank you!』  
  
“No, hang on. Maybe she did commit suicide. Maybe she took a bite of the apple knowing it was poisoned.”

『Why?』  
  
“Despair.”

『Nevermind not interested-』

“No, shut up I’m going somewhere with this. Despair in having been given  poison by her mother. No… maybe it was a more nebulous despair, despair more intrinsic to this world. That would be interesting, if it were the case.”  Enoshima Junko smiled without realizing it. She looked around as if searching for something, eyes frantic, that's how they always were though, frantic, ecstatic, taking in every detail around her. They only settled down when she looked into his eyes, as those eyes were always looking at her. Those blue eyes, a deep watery abyss that could swallow anything, her only constant. _A unique existence._ She thought. _What would it feel like to lose him?_

Kumagawa watching her smile grow increasingly ecstatic as she talked of despair could not help but be charmed. He fell in love with every new smile, just the same as he fell in love with every new personality of hers. He had no idea why other people smiled, so he had just decided to accept all smiles whether people smiled for good or evil reasons. He had no idea who Junko was, so he decided to face all of her and accept all of her. Though, he wished she would smile for less unsavory reasons. That was one flaw she asked him to forgive. _An unattainable entity._ He thought.  _I don't want to lose her._  
  
『There you go again, talking like you know everything but saying nothing at all. I was just going to tell you, I met an interesting girl once who committed apple suicide, she rotted herself down to the core until she was emptied out.』

Junko’s head was killing her, but for the moment she had forgotten about that. She had forgotten even about dying, as if the whole world was contained within the warmth of their two bodies as she rested her head on his lap. Losing him would be like, losing a part of the world she was sure. A despair she could only feel by letting others close, how interesting. 

“Apple suicide, sounds stylish. I wonder if it could become the next trend.”

『Suicide, you mean?』

“Yeah,if it became a worldwide phenomenon wouldn’t it be beautiful?” She said, looking up her smile the only light in the room to him.

『You’re an interesting one. Your mind dances. Since when have you cared what was beautiful? You should try something new for once.』

“Nowhere as interesting as you.” Junko said, as her lips pulled tight to suppress a soft giggle. “Mmm, I suppose so… I haven’t even tried living once.”

Before their conversation could get any farther, the atmosphere between the two was ruined by Hinata finally successfully tackling open the door. Junko blinked, looking past Kumagawa’s shoulder. Oh, so the loud thumping she had been hearing was not just the beating of her heart.  
  
“Ugh, it’s just those two…” Komaeda said, immediately retreating.  
  
“What’s wrong?” Hinata looked back.  
  
“Oh, nothing… I just hate negative people, don’t you?”

Hinata decided to leave him alone, as he could not disagree that there was something about Kumagawa’s entire being that fundamentally repulsed him. Junko was somebody he did not want to die, for some reason, but she was definitely the most dangerous person on this island.

Hinata’s eyes narrowed on Kumagawa like they were locking onto a target. “What are you two doing, hiding behind a locked door from everybody else?”

『We weren’t hiding, MIkan-chan locked us in here last night. We were stuck in here.』  
  
“So that means… there’s no way you two could have committed the crime?”

『Yep, this has nothing to do with us.』  
  
“Ugh, don’t remind me. I hate when things don’t center around me.”

『I can give you a hint though, Hajime-chan. To bring you one step closer to the truth. You seem to be good at that… well not picking up on hints, being led to the truth by others.』

“You don’t want to find the truth, you just want to make us all suffer.” Hinata said, his eyes glaring coldly at Kumagawa.  
  
Of course, no coldness even seemed to reach him. If Komaeda was in some far off place, Kumagawa did not even seem to belong to this world, there was no way anything Hinata said would reach him in the first place not that he even wanted to bother to try. 『Of course, you’re right, you’re right, I’m not like Nagito-chan suffering for everybody else’s sake all on my own, I’ll do this for my own sake.』  
  
“Did you want to give me the hint or not?”  
  
『Check under the bed, maybe a monster will eat you and you’ll die.』  
  
Hinata sighed and reluctantly crawled under the bed, only to suddenly fall underneath the floor. _Huh?_ He said feeling around, until he realized, there was a hidden compartment underneath the bed.

『It’s a compartment, perfect for hiding bodies under. That and the strange way the rooms locked, it was almost like this hospital was designed for a murder to take place in, what a coincidence.』  
  
“So you hid the bodies!”

『No, I just told you we were locked in this room all night. The other beds must have compartments hidden under them as well.』

“Ah… right…” Hinata nodded, before deciding to leave them alone. Komaeda was right after all he did not like negative people.

 **Evidence gathered:** **  
** **> Secret Compartment**

 

 ♛

  
Hinata heard a scream from Peko and rushed up the stairs. Only to hear her laughing, maddeningly the moment he opened the door to the upstairs office. The reason why, she was covered in four hamsters. “Peko…”  
  
“Don’t worry, Hinata. I’ve completed the mission, I found the fluffies.”

While she was distracted, Hinata decided to look around on his own instead. Naze was already in the room, redoing the bandages around her face. She looked back at him with one eye. “Sorry I can’t be of much use this time. The bodies were exposed to so much heat somehow it messed with my ability to determine the time of death, but from my autopsy Monokuma's report is right. Tsumiki-san died of strangulation, and then Tanaka-kun died of bloodloss. It's too bad we don't have Tsumiki-san around to verify my results anymore though."

"So, you're sure Tsumiki-san was strangled, right?" Komaeda suddenly spoke up.   
  
"It has to be, there's no other external injuries on her body besides the rope we found around her neck."

“Oh, yeah I noticed it got hotter in the hospital what’s up with that?”

Naze scratched at one of the locks of hair falling from between her bandages. “I needed this room to be at a certain heat to grow bacteria for my experiments on the disease. It's super annoying though, I've had to change my bandages every day because of how sweaty I get.”

“Ahh, okay. You and Gundham had to go home together at the end of the night, right?”  
  
“Well, not together together - I mean not that it matters but…” Naze suddenly look flustered, but then tightened the bandages around her face to tighten her resolve. “Yes, we both left at the same time last night. The only two uninfected who were allowed to stay according to hospital rules were you and MIkan.”

“That doesn’t make any sense… then again, nothing makes sense ever for me.” Hinata said, closing his eyes in frustration. He looked around and saw where Pekoyama had found the hamsters. "Huh, what's the white stuff in their food?"  
  
"It's crushed vitamin c powder, hamsters can't produce their own vitamin c they'll get scurvy otherwise you know." 

 **Evidence Gathered** **  
** **> Naze’s Account** **  
** **> Heater** **  
** **> Gundham’s Four Dark Devas  
>Hamster Food.   
**  
Naze tilted her head. “Eh? Are you still infected with the dumbass disease?”  
  
Behind him, Komaeda spoke up. “The dumbass disease?”  
  
“I was never infected with the dumbass disease! I just lied to Monokuma so I could stay overnight!” Hinata snapped at Naze, the heat is his cheeks rising again as his face reddened.  
  
“Why did you stay overnight, Hinata-kun?” Komaeda asked.

“Y..you… You looked like you were going to die so… it was you… why were you sicker than anybody else?”

 _Oh._ Komaeda thought, realizing that his dreams of Hinata being by his side at night were not just the fever. He thought several things at once, a mix of emotions flooding, churning inside of him but the only thing he could express was. “Oh…” Which he softly repeated aloud.

 _That’s right, Hinata-kun does not know yet._ He would have to tell him at some point, yet another thing on his mind that he needed to conceal from the other by acting normal. He sighed and turned around. “That should be enough to conclude our investigation.”

“W..wait, is there really nowhere else to investigate?”  
  
“It all seems to have taken place within this hospital. I can’t think of anywhere else to go.” _Be normal. Be normal. Don’t look like you’re hiding something._ He looked back, the lines of his thin lips curving into a small smile directed entirely at Hajime. “Unless… did you just want an excuse to spend more time with me, hee hee?”

“As if.” Hinata said, crossing his arms and letting Komaeda walked ahead of them. The boy casually shrugged underneath his jacket, and dug his hands in his pockets walking ahead alone.  
  
Naze left as well, and the moment the two of them were alone in the room Hinata’s head snapped back Pekoyama. “You noticed it… right?”  
  
Pekoyama readjusted her glasses, causing them to shine. “Noticed what?”  
  
“Komaeda… he’s acting all weird.”  
  
“Hmm, Komaeda acting weird. You have met Komaeda before, yes?”  
  
“N-no I mean, he’s acting weirder than he normally acts weird. It’s like a different kind of weird. If I were to sum it up, it’s just weird!”  
  
“That hardly sums it up well at all.”  
  
“I know, okay I’m trying! Like, usually he would have said ‘You just wanted to spend more time with me! Haha, I’m joking there’s no way you’d ever want to spend time with trash like me’ but he skipped that part and just batted his eyes at me in a way that made them sparkle.”  
  
“Hmm…” Pekoyama hummed softly behind him, as she started to push Hinata forward by his shoulders. “You sound like you know him well.”  
  
“That’s not what this is about!”  
  
“I wonder are you investigating Komaeda, or the murder?”  
  
“I can do both.” Hinata grumbled as he was pushed forward. “They usually have a lot to do with one another, okay?” He said, suddenly feeling defensive for some reason. As he walked ahead of her he wondered why he felt the need to defend his relationship with Komaeda, to justify his continued fascination with the other boy. This game had taken so much from him already, Chiaki, his memories, he did not want to lose the boy who had found him washed up on the beach too. He wanted to keep thinking of him, to keep considering him.  _An unknowable existence._  
  
The three of them made their way to Monokuma rock, keeping their heads down the entire time. Hinata only hesitated right before the sight of the strange Monokuma heads as he looked at the backs of all the people around him. There seemed to be so much fewer backs this time.   
  
There were ten of them left, and soon it was only going to be nine. He was struck by how much time had passed, how much he had lost and yet he understood nothing about this island, or the people around him. It felt like everybody he tried so hard to get to know ended up dying, and he made no progress with the mystery of the island itself. Utterly useless. He looked fleetingly at the white of the back of Komaeda’s head, while he was sure the other boy wasn’t looking.  
  
_I wonder how long we can keep playing this game...  
  
_


	28. The Shadow Always At Your Feet (13 - Double x Down)

They all needed him.

Every time he was lost, that was how he reassured himself. Even though Hinata could see nothing inside of himself, he was sure somebody else could see something within him. That was why he tried so hard during the investigations. By this point he was sure whatever his talent was had nothing to do with criminal investigation.  
  
He had no intuition for dealing with dead bodies, he had no instinct for understanding the motives of others that could lead them to murder, and yet he was always the one speaking the most during the trials. That was because during those trials that was when the stakes were highest, when everything was one the line.  
  
That was when they needed him the most.  
  
Everybody else had their individual talents, everybody else was extraordinary in some way except for him whose only notable quality was how he was lacking in something necessary. That was why he was trying to levy this blank quality of his, to become someone useful for them. If he was not a glorious light that could lead them all in hope, like Komaeda desperately wished them to be, he could at least be the connecting thread that helped them all come together.

In the last trial he felt almost nothing at all, and now he felt too much. The nausea from waking up sitting in between two bodies boiled up from the pit of his stomach. When he closed his eyes to try to concentrate, he remembered the dead look in Mikan and Gundham’s eyes. He had not even been able to reach forward and close their eyes for them to give them their last moment of peace.

He thought he was getting closer to both of them, serving his role as the mediator on this island. Even though things were tense, even though everybody was on edge, they were finally starting to come together to deal with the crisis brought about by the motive this time. Just a few hours ago, he had held Gundham’s hand in his own. The feeling was warm, and Gundham’s hand was rough from the many hamster bites (no scars left behind by he devas) that’s what Gundham would want them to be called). That hand was something that Hinata could hold onto. NOw, in death Gundham’s warmth was gone, and his hand would never hold anything again.

This was the third trial, and as soon as they were finished their numbers would be reduced to nine, nearly half of them were gone. He thought he was doing something good during the trials, helping them all survive but he wondered… had they gained anything because of his actions? All they had done was endure loss after loss.

Enoshima and Kumagawa, as much as he wanted to reject every part of them, they had both said at one point or another he was good at being led. He wondered if that was the kind of protagonist he was, one with a rope on his neck that was only good at being pulled forward by it, and feeling it tighten slowly around his neck.

They all needed him, or so he thought.  
  
No, he was the unnecessary one. Sooner of later they would realize what a useless main character he was, when he could not even be the main character over his own life. The moment they realized it, they would look away from him. Kyoko was somebody better to be leading the investigations in these trials, Kurokami was somebody better for everybody to unite behind, Hitoyoshi was somebody better to try motivating everybody with friendship.  
  
The moment they stopped looking at him, he would cease to exist. He was holding it together right now for their sakes after all. He could feel it, bubbling up at the back of his throat. He swallowed down again, on the nausea, on the feelings of panic and fear. Bubbling up inside of him, churning, swirling, spinning, twisting, twisting, and twisting.

He either felt nothing at all, or he felt too much all at once. He was either the main charater who everybody relied on, or he was nothing more than a nameless side character they were all humoring. It seemed there was no in between for him, he was everything or nothing. It was like he was trying to reconcile two entirely different people into one being.

It was too much to think about, so he just did not want to think about it at all. He wanted to focus on the case ahead of him, the trial where everybody’s lives were on the line. Yet, he knew he could not continue on like this much longer. Even if they survived this trial another murder would happen, another trial would happen, it would keep going.  
  
He was not sure how much longer he could survive like this. He felt like he was going to be split in two. He was already starting to hear voices, but he had tried the best he could to ignore that mystery. Yet, if it remained unsolved, the trials would keep continuing until there was nobody left.  
  
It seemed obvious, even to somebody lacking in substance like himself, the mystery of the island and the mystery of his missing memories were tied together. They were probably one in the same, his missing memories had to be important if they had gone on this long without the reveal. Yet, he was afraid to remember, he was afraid of what kind of person he was.  
  
After all, even right now as he glanced at everybody’s anxious faces in the elevator as they waited for the trial to begin, emotions from anticipation, resignation to boredom, all he could think about was himself. He seemed incapable of escaping his own head, of not injecting himself into every situation, of not needing to be relevant in every situation.  
  
He was sure, whatever kind of person he was before was not that great of a person if this is how he reacted without memories. He wondered… even if at the end of this he did remember some fantastic talent, if that would change anything about who he was as a person? Considering that without a talent he could remember he acted like nothing more than a self serving coward.  
  
Yes, that was it a coward. The Ultimate Coward, the only talent that suited him. Even without memories that felt right, it was a feeling like destiny. That he had lived his entire life like this. That he had always, always, always, wanted to become a person who was not a coward.

 _This time, this time, this time. This time for sure I need to face everything head on._ _  
_ _To become the person I want to be…_

He could no longer distract himself, pretending this was just some dating sim mode on an island resort. If Chiaki were here, she would tell him to pursue the true route and find what was at the center of the mystery no matter what the cost. He made up his mind, from this point forward he would stop using the others around him to distract himself from the mystery.

He looked up and caught Komaeda’s eyes for just a moment. As he did, as he saw the other boy looking at him, the small amount of determination he had been able to drum up vanished in an instant.

  
_I…_

 _I want to become strong._ _  
_ _Strong enough to be by your side._ _  
_ _I want to become somebody who can share my weakness by you…._ _  
_ _But hey I wonder…_ _  
_ _Is what I am right now enough?_ _  
_ _Even if I was not’ able to become that person, would you still accept me?_ _  
_ _It’s not like your standards for yourself are that high._ _  
_ _It’s not like I have much competition anyway._

_No, that sounds wrong… that’s not the reason._

Hinata looked up and saw the criss crossing steel doors of the elevator, folding back and sliding open, it was too late now to finish that thought.  
  
_Ah… Whatever._ _  
_ _Now’s not the time to worry about that._ _  
_ _I’m just being dumb again…_

He was sure whatever Komaeda was worrying about right now, was much more important. Despite how much Hinata disliked Komaeda’s tendency to manipulate others, or treat everything like a great showdown of hope he was more keyed into the mystery than anybody else right now. Hinata had come to understand Komaeda as much to know that he really did have everybody’s best intentions at heart. He was probably, even right now thinking about everybody, he was thinking about how best to stoke everybody’s hope same as always.  
  
Hinata knew that Komaeda would not worry about some small insignificant person like him at a time like this.   
  
_I shouldn't be worrying how he sees me.  
Not when everybody else is more important.   
__That's just selfish._

♛

  
  
As they all took their places in the center of the trial arena, in between funeral portraits of their fellow classmates Monokuma spoke up.

“Now then, let’s begin with a simple explanation of the class trial. Duing the class trial, you will present your arguments for who the killer is, and vote for ‘whodunnit’-”

“Ugh, who cares about this boring explanation? We’ve done this three times already, what were you scared that Hinata-kun was going to forget how to do this if you didn’t remind him?” Enoshima Junko’s expression changed to one of vacant boredom as her eyes emptied out and she droned on in a dull voice.

“Hey, you can’t be the bored one that’s my character archetype!” Monokuma kicked his little legs on the throne. “I wanted to be the one to call Hinata dumb too, now I’m just going to look like some poser joining in on a trend because it’s popular.”  
  
“Hey!” Hinata Hajime said, feeling regret that he had not been the first one to speak up because now suddenly the conversation had turned into insulting him.  
  
Komaeda however, did not even seem to notice their bickering. His obliviousness towards others working out in his favor for once as he simply spoke over them. He put a hand on his hip, and held the other out gesturing with an open pal towards everyone. “I don’t mind starting the trial, but… I don’t really have a grasp of how the case played out. You know, because I was asleep the whole time.”  
  
“Even if you do grasp it, you’re just gonna try to confuse us again, aren’t you?” Naze said, her one eye narrowing on him.  
  
“But Second year Komaeda’s not alone. I don’t really remember what happened the past few days either.” Kurokami Medaka said, she blinked and her eyes were uncharacteristically blank.  
  
“You’re fine… You’re the air headed genius archetype anyway, Kurokami-san.” Naze said.  
  
“Air headed? Ah… that’s right, it is like I’m empty right now, but that just means I can become anything. I’m going to fill my head up with lots of things, thanks for the compliment sis.”

“...” Hinata simply watched with his mouth gaping open. He wondered if it was her talent that made that girl optimistic, or if she was just like that by nature.  
  
“We should just cut through this chatter and explain, it’s best if everybody present can participate in the arguments.” Pekoyama said, as she adjusted her glasses. “If somebody tries to confuse us, we can just cut them down as well.”  
  
“I’d love to be cut down by your talent for the sake of hope,’ Komaeda began-  
  
“We’re not cutting down anybody, let’s just talk things out-” Hinata finished for him. “Let’s start at the beginning, we split into three teams. Komaeda, Kurokami, and Kumagawa were among the infected, and Enoshima, Pekoyama, Mikan and I were watching the infected at the hospital, while Naze and Gundham worked on a cure, and Kirigiri, Ikusaba and Hitoyoshi were in quarantine.”  
  
“Then, things got more annoying when Enoshima was infected with the virus as well, so I tied her to the bed the day before the murder took place.” Naze interrupted him.  
  
“Yes, because she was infected that meant those staying overnight at the hospital that night were Tsumiki, Kumagawa, Kurokami, Komaeda, and myself, while Pekoyama, Naze, and Gundham had to leave and sleep in their cabins overnight. The night of the murder the last thing I remember was speaking to Naze right before she was about to go home. She made me sleep in the break room. I assumed it was alright because nobody else was allowed in the hospital by that point and Komaeda had recovered so nothing would happen while I was alseep..”  
  
“You were obviously wrong about that.” Enoshima Junko spoke up. “God, you keep like making so many class ‘first to die in a horror movie mistakes how are you still alive by this point?”  
  
“Yes, we get it I’m wrong about a lot of things. Continuing on, I went to sleep in an unlocked room, and when I woke up the room was locked from the outside and two bodies were in the bed with me.” Hajime immediately glared at both Junko, and Monokuma. “I swear if either of you two clowns make a  joke about that I will end both of you.”

“Boo, you’re no fun.” Junko said, puffing out her cheeks to pout.  
  
“Puhuhuhu,” The bear whined.  
  
“So, that’s how the case played out. Thank you… I understood it very easily…” Komaeda spoke up, his voice like a calm eye in the storm for Hinata.  
  
“Well, it’s clear what the problem with this case is, when we left for the night who-”  
  
“...Wait.” Komaeda said, destroying Hinata’s calm as easily as he had created it as he brought his finger up to play with his hair. “How do I know anything Hinata-kun just said is true? Sorry, I’m only being impartial now… And the story I just heard… is clearly suspicious. You’re the only one who was in the hospital that night with a clear head, so you could be lying as much as you want right now, right?”

“L-lie…? Why would I lie?” Hinata suddenly wanted to back away from the suspicious gaze Komaeda was casting on him, he did not want to appear anywhere within those eyes.  
  
“Obviously, so you could make us ignore what might be an inconvenient truth for you.”  
  
“K-komaeda… I wanted to investigate together so you’d believe in me. Do you really doubt me after all that?” The confidence he felt with Komaeda, disappeared in an instant like it always did as all of his most negative thoughts seemed confirmed.

  
“If you’re not lying, I’d like you to prove it…” There was a manic excitement building within the other boy’s voice. “C’mon, try to prove it to me! Prove you’re not the killer!” Yeah, that was right, he already knew this was going to happen. Komaeda was a different person when the trial started, it was like nothing else mattered to him, the light of hope obstructed and blinded him to everything.

 _It’s like I thought, I’m nothing to him… Dammit, I should stop relying on Nagito. I always get dragged into trouble because of him._ He decided to wait and listen as everybody began to descend into arguments.

“Hinata-kun’s testimony is clearly suspicious.” Komaeda began.  
  
“If Hinata’s testimony is a lie… then the fact that we have no idea how those bodies ended up there.” Naze continued.  
  
“That would also be a lie.” Komaeda finished for her.  
  
“I don’t want to distrust others, but he’s the only witness right now.” Kurokami Medaka continued. “So, why would he lie?”  
  
“Well, obviously because he’s the killer.” Komaeda said, crossing his arms. “He even made an excuse so Monokuma would bend the rules and allow him to stay at the hospital overnight.”  
  
“Did Hinata-kun kill both of them and then pretend to be the hapless victim who stumbled into a locked door mystery?” Kyoko spoke up.  
  
“The fact that the bodies were imitating the movie-” Komaeda continued.

“No, that’s wrong!” Hinata suddenly spoke up, countering him. “I’m not the killer! I mean there’s no way I’d be able to imitate that movie.”  
  
“Of course you’re not,” The gravity dropped from Komaeda’s face and he gave a carefree smile. “I already knew that.”

“...Huh?”  
  
“Before the incident, Hinata-kun never watched that movie his invitation ticket is proof of that. Each person only received one ticket, and they’re marked with a stamp that shows the date and time…Isn’t that right, Monokuma?”  
  
“Yes, no mistakes there.”  
  
“Which means that there’s no way that Hinata-kun who never saw the movie, could commit murders that imitated it. Or… did anyone tell him what happens in the movie? Of course, no one did, right?”  
  
“Komaeda… what are you doing? I… I already told you why I made up excuses to stay overnight at the hospital.” Hinata said, his cheeks reddening.  
  
“Well, since we’re opening with your witness testimony I thought we should solidify the foundation. It also provides a good warm up.”  
  
“Wh-what warm up? This isn’t a game you know.”  
  
“D-don’t get mad…” Komaeda said raising his hands in front of him defensively. “I just think warming up is really important, especially since this isn’t a game.”  
  
“You know, teeeeeechnically this is a game. It’s a killing game y’know like, game is in the title. I hate to be fussy about details buuuuut…”

 『It’s not nice to lie, Junko. You love being fussy about details when it comes to story, that’s why you’re so annoying to watch things with.』

“Hey, I’m not fussy I just have high standards for my entertainment. It’s everybody else’s fault that nobody knows what character they’re supposed to be playing, and I constantly have to correct them for it.” Junko crossed her arms. “You’re lucky I want to watch things with a person like you in the first place.”

『Your standards can’t be that high in the first place, if you want to be with a person like me. 』  
  
Hinata looked at Kumagawa with a flat expression. “Can you two pick a better time to flirt when we’re not in the middle of a class trial?”

『Ehh? But weren’t you flirting with Nagito-chan just a moment ago? You hypocrite.』

“H=how is that flirting!?” Hajime’s voice cracked in exasperation with that question.

『Ehhh? You really don’t get what Nagito-chan just did for your sake, huh? Well, it’s too boring to bother explaining.』  
  
“Hey, saying everything is boring is my thing!” Junko spoke up beside him poking him on the cheek with one of her red nails.  
  
On the other side of him, the other despair sister finally spoke up as well. “Yeah, Misogi-chan please don’t start taking after my sister’s awful personality.”

“Just ignore them! Anyway, my testimony means the killer could have only happened at night after I fell asleep, because both Mikan and Gundham were alive before then. So, we have to figure out how the killer got the bodies in that locked room.”  
  
Kyoko spoke up again, excitement creeping into her voice. “The locked room, mystery!”  
  
“Yeah, that…”  
  
“That tired old trope.”  
  
“Are you sure you sounded kind of excited about it.”  
  
“No, unlike the other children present I take this professionally. Solving the mystery of a locked room is just a matter of course of solving the murder, the fact that it just happens to appear in many detective novels I’ve read is a coincidence.” She said, her voice quickly cooling. “Anyway, if Tsumiki-san possessed the only key and it was still inside the room with her when Hinata-kun woke up how did the killer enter and exit the room.”

Pekoyama spoke up first. “The killer was hiding in the room, and when the commotion was caused by Hinata-kun screaming like a frightened child they escaped from the room while everyone was distracted.”  
  
“My screaming wasn’t that bad, wasn’t it? They were… you know… manly screams for vengeance and stuff.”  
  
“Or, maybe Hinata-kun was the killer and he locked himself in the room to avoid suspicion.” Komaeda said joining in the arguments.  
  
“We literally just went over that! You can’t help yourself can you? You’re like a cat pushing a glass of water over the edge of a table until it falls and breaks, and I’m the glass of water.”

『I’m the glass of water, how philosophical.』

“If the killer was someone suspicious like Kumagawa-senpai, or Enoshima-san they wouldn’t even need a key. They could probably just pick the lock on their own.” Naze added in.  
  
“No, there has to be a trick to it. There’s always a trick to the locked door mystery, that’s how the trope works.” Kirigiri corrected her.

“M-maybe they just punched the door really hard and broke it open.” Zenkichi spoke up, wanting to sound useful to the floor debate.  
  
Kirigiri finally spoke up again. “Even if the door was locked, there’s still space underneath the door frame. If the killer already had the key by the time they were moving to hide Mikan’s body, they could have used Gundham's hamsters to return the key to the other side of the door. There was a hole in Tsumiki-san's pocket after all, the hamsters could have chewed through it and returned to them.”  
  
“That trick would take quite a long time to pull off,” Hinata rolled his fingers into a fist and rested his chin on it, still feeling suspicious.

“If the murders took place overnight, they’d have the entire night to do it because everybody else in the hospital was infected with the disease and would not remember what happened or what they overheard.” Kirgiri said, defensive of her locked door theory.

Ikusaba Mukuro spoke up in a meek voice. “U..um sorry, Kirigiri-san but aren’t you a little too focused on detective tropes? You shouldn’t mistake fiction for reality otherwise you’ll sound like my sister. What does that actually tell us about who the killer is?”  
  
“If we assume that the killer stayed overnight to complete their trick, then the killer is whoever else doesn't have an alibi for that night.” Kirigiri said, as she looked to everybody else present.  
  
Naze tilted her head back, leering at Enoshima Junko with her one eye. “It was probably Enoshima or Kumagawa-senpai then, they’re the only two trouble makers that would set up an annoying mystery like that.”  
  
Mukuro spoke up again, her meek voice unwavering. “N-not that I don’t deny my sister and Misogi-chan are trouble makers, or that they’re annoying but… there’s no way it could be either one of them, right? They’re the only ones with solid alibis.”  
  
Hinata remembered having to break the door down. “Yeah, those two were locked in the room all night. They had nothing to do with it, this time.”

『I always have nothing to do with anything, because life is inherently meaningless and people live unconnected lives.』  
  
“Hey, this isn’t the time for your nihilistic rambles,” Hajime snapped at him.

『That’s hypocritical coming from you, Hajime-chan.』

“Ugh, don’t remind me. Now I feel as irrelevant as rando.” Enoshima Junko pouted once more, looking like less of a mastermind and more of a bratty teenage girl.  
  
“Hey, I’m not irrelevant. I’m being way more helpful than the girl just watching this from the audience like always,” Hinata said defensively.  
  
“I can’t help it, being a participant in a killing game is so boring. I wanted to be a mastermind.”

『I bet though, if you were a mastermind you’d be complaining about how boring and how much hard work being a mastermind is.』

“Hey, shut up!”

“To be honest, trying to wrangle all you brats into killing each other really is thankless hard work.” Monokuma said fro his throne.  
  
“You shut up, too!”

“Then, ignoring those two that puts Komaeda, Kurokami, and I as the only three without alibis. I’ve already been cleared, and Komaeda was too close to death to even move from his bed, so Kurokami-san... “ Hinata looked up to the girl with purple hair and red eyes. “Can you give us an alibi for yourself?”  
  
Kurokami Medaka had been quiet most of this trial, like a sleeping lion. “I… I told you I don’t remember anything, but it doesn’t matter. Even if my personality changed there was no way I’d ever act in a way that shamed my friends.”

“There’s no way Medaka-chan would kill somebody, what are you even saying!?” Hitoyoshi Zenkichi reared up defensively. “If you falsely accuse her, there’s a chance she could die.”  
  
“Yeah, the only one allowed to put my little sister in dangerous situations is me.” Naze Youka joined him.  
  
“Wait… no, I’m not trying to accuse her…” For some reason at that moment Hinata felt a pang of envy. Kurokami Medaka had such loyal friends, and as of right now he had… a Komaeda.  
  
Speak of the devil, Komaeda spoke up right then. “Come on, Kurokami-san. The old you would have never fallen sick and let two of her friends die under her watch, the reason you’re suffering right now is probably because… the new you that’s going to be born from all this suffering is even greater, right? So prove to us who you are right now.”  
  
“But I… I really don’t know.”  
  
It was Naze Youka who snarled again. “Is that your real talent, Komaeda? Backing us into corners like this?”

“Kurokami-san is the only one without an alibi who was staying overnight. If the motive was to change the killer’s personality with the despair sickness, then Kurokami-san could have been changed into a person capable of committing murder. She could have killed both and set up an elaborate locked door trick-” Komaeda started to ramble.  
  
“No, that’s wrong!” Hinata spoke up again interrupting him and breaking his forward momentum. “Hold on a sec…! There’s also a possibility that the door was never locked to begin with.”  
  
“But, we already established the trick used to lock the door Hinata-kun.” Komaeda said, looking oddly confident. Hinata had never known the boy to be particularly confident about anything. “That’s the conclusion everybody’s hope came up with together, are you saying you’re bettter than all of them? They they need you to guide them?”  
  
“Th-that’s not what I’m saying, n-now’s not the time to worry about things like that. What if the locked room was just a distraction to make us think the killer spent time setting up a locked door mystery with an elaborate method that would require them staying over the entire night. Remember, Kurokami the only way you could get the door open was ripping it off its hinges. It’s not like the knob was locked, more like the entire door wouldn’t budge."  
  
Kurokami Medaka’s eyes suddenly snapped back into focus. “Yes, I remember now. There was a glob like substance on the inside of the door.”  
  
“So, it wasn’t a real locked door room mystery…” Kyoko said, almost sounding disappointed.  “It was just a trap to get us obsessing over how the killer created the locked door mystery… and I totally fell into that trap.”

“Yep! You guys got it right again!…” Komaeda said, with an innocent smile.  
  
Zenkichi the guard dog however was still barking. “That’s right so apologize to Medaka-chan for accusing her! Except, you’re not allowed to slice open your stomach… that’s a bad idea. Komaeda you don’t slice open your stomach either buddy, your pale enough as it is if you lose any more blood you might just shrivel up into nothing.”  
  
“In a quarrel, both sides are to blame. That’s why it’s better to just have no sides.” Ajimu Najimi spoke up from where she was hanging next to Monokuma’s side.

“Haha, that take no sides attitude really is lame though. Let’s just keep going and ignore her to get a victory for hope. I have proof on how the killer did it.’ Komaeda said as he brought out a scrap of paper.

“I recognize that scrap, there was wallpaper and other supplies in the back room of the music club.” Kyoko said, “So, they used the kind of glue that sticks wallpaper to walls in order to jam the door and make us think it was locked. Then, if the door was never locked in the first place they could have just exited and entered the room and leave the key behind and then glue the door from the outside. Then, they could have done it in the morning? How were they able to move so quickly before anybody else showed up in the hospital then.”

“A mere nobody like me isn’t important enough to answer that… but if you guys were exceptional enough to identify that scrap of paper, you can figure this out easily!” Komaeda said, as he brought his hands up and held them wide open in front of all of them, his mouth parting into a wide smile and his tongue licking over his lips in anticipation.

『...』Kumagawa sighed, but he said nothing aloud. 『This is boring.』  
  
“That’s fine, if you’re so bored why don’t you just sew your mouth shut and never speak up again? There’s no way your help in this trial will ever amount to anything. Even if you sacrificed yourself your death couldn’t possibly become a greater hope because that would require somebody actually caring enough about you to want to investigate your murder.”

『You know, Nagito-chan. This Class Trial… this killing… it’s not as important as you think it is, that’s why even somebody unimportant like me can contribute. It’s a repeat showing… Perhaps I should say, it’s just a farce? Just a boring farce… So boring, so stressful… I’m so painfully bored that I might develop stomach ulcers. Seriously! Let’s just hurry up and end this before I collapse from poor health!』  
  
Mukuro nervously brought her hand to her cheek. “Are you okay, Misogi-chan? You’re really starting to sound like Junko.”

Hinata wondered why Kumagawa was speaking up now of all times, since he was even worse than Komaeda when it came to throwing off everybody at the trial. He remembered just then the hint Kumagawa had given him. “Wait… the murder didn’t have to take place in the morning either. It could have happened just before closing too… there were trap doors hidden under each of the hospital beds with a secret compartment big enough to hide a body in. They… oh god they could have been already dead underneath the bed when I fell asleep.”  
  
“I already thought of that option, Hinata-kun since that’s suspiciously similar to how the steering committees bodies were hidden when they disappeared.” Kirigiri said, speaking up to challenge his argument. “There was no trap door underneath the bed you were laying on. I investigated it myself.”  
  
_Why was there missing wallpaper?_ _  
_ “They wallpapered over the trap door! So it wouldn’t open when you were looking for it, that’s why there was wallpaper missing from the club!” Hinata countered, slicing through her argument. “Then… when were those two actually killed?”

“Good point, and on that note. It’s about time we shed some light on those imitation murders!” Komaeda said, his entire demeanor changing again as he looked like nothing more than a helpful guide. It always confused Hinata, how he could change from somebody gently holding your hand towards hope one moment, to a trickster leading you to the edge of a cliff just to watch you walk off and fall in the next moment.  
  
“Um… you mentioned ‘imitation murder’ more than once, but what are you guys talking about?” Ajimu Najimi smpoke up from where she was hanging out. “Is there somebody here that is confusing fiction for reality, because that trope is a little played out by now.”  
  
“Are you kidding me? You haven’t seen my masterpiece, The Legend of Ajimu...2.5 D?”

“So you just stole my name for one of your movies? I suppose that’s the most I can expect from somebody like who for whom everything is borrowed.”  
  
“Oi! You’re pretty noisy… for somebody who hasn’t even been around lately.”  
  
“I found your motive to be really boring, so I just played games on my phone for the rest of this round. I mean, changing their personality so they’ll kill somebody that’s bad storytelling. The characters have no agency if they were forced into a killing. I absolutely loathe giving any credit at all to somebody lame like Junko-chan, but even she would never have resorted to those tactics.”  
  
“Grrrr….” The cute bear grit his half smile, the fangs revealed by which rubbing against each other as a low growl.  
  
“I really do hate agreeing with Junko-chan but she’s right, she probably should have been the mastermind instead of you, she would have come up with more interesting motives at least.”  
  
“Did I say I was accepting constructive criticism!” The bear snapped at her again.  
  
“I knew it… there are so many similarities it must have been intentional.” Naze said, crossing her arms as she did so.  
  
“The second prince’s death by lacerations, matches Tanaka’s’s death, and the princess’s death by strangulation matches Tsumiki’s death.” Pekoyama said.  
  
“It’s as if both crimes were replicas of scenes from the movie, although the loser prince being bitten to death was omitted.” Kyoko said, before running a hand through her long, lilac hair.

“Ah, wait a sec. There’s something I want to run by Monokuma first.”  
  
“Eh? Again? Didn’t something like this happen last time too!” Naze snapped at him. “Would you quit changing the subject, you’re not making things harder for us so something brilliant will be born, you’re just being annoying. Annoyance isn’t despair.”  
  
“Hey, if the victim actually committed suicide, what are we supposed to do?” Komaeda completely ignored her and turned towards the bear.  
  
“The same as always… You have to vote for who the killer is. THink about it… A suicide means you’ve killed the most important existence… yourself. Unfortunately, that means there’s no blackened to punish, but I guess in a pinch I can always punish Ajimu.”  
  
“Please do, anything is preferable to having to watch this boring imitation game.”  
  
“Oi! There’s no way I’ll let you commit suicide by bear.” Medaka roared from behind her podium.

“Suicide by bear, I never thought of that method before how interest…” Junko leaned forward and cupped her cheeks in her hands, one bandaged and one with red nails that curled around those cheeks.

『Boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring....』  
  
“Umm… Komaeda What do you mean, ‘if the victim actually committed suicide.’  
  
“Well, I mean I understand Tanaka-kun’s death, but I’m wondering if Tsumiki-san was even murdered. For example, it’s possible Tsumiki-san killed Tanaka-kun, and then committed suicide due to a guilty conscience, right?”

『Boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring....』Kumagawa’s smile froze, and the forced cheerfulness of his voice slowly faded away replaced with a dull droning noise, that got worse with each repeat of boring. He leaned forward, as if the strings that were holding him up had been cut, and he had no more reason to dance around. Slumping forward like a puppet that was no longer performing. His eyes were usually pools of water, that rippled in reaction to every visceral emotion he felt, all the pain he was suppressing was always so obvious in them, he was a boy who lived his life on troubled waters.  
  
At the moment though, those eyes were unbelievably still, to an unnerving extent. A stretch of water so still, that it was impossible to discern what was lying underneath it. Kumagawa’s hands came up slowly from his slumped up position, and his fingers curled around his face. As if the mask he always wore on his face would fall off, and reveal the nothing that was hidden underneath if he did not carefully hold that mask in place.  
  
The shadows his hand cast covered his whole face in shadow, except for the small cracks in between the spaces of his fingers that his eyes peered through. The feeling of somebody who laid on the bottom of the ocean floor and just decided to drown, the feeling of an actor quitting right on stage in the middle of his role and walking off suddenly, that was the aura whih Kumagawa’s body gave at his moment of transformation.  
  
“Do you like need a bathroom break or something, dude? Why are you acting so impatient?” Zenkichi asked innocently.

『It’s just so boring...』  
  
“You’re not going to start laughing evilly in the middle of the trial now, are you?” Hinata’s brow twitched in annoyance, already growing tired of the boy’s antics.

『Nah, that scene is kind of played out by now. It’s just… boring… watching Nagito-chan tell such boring lies. Junko-chan will never be entertained by such a boring trial.』

“Huh? What are you talking about?” Komaeda played oblivious. “There’s no way I’d lie to everybody, trash like me couldn’t possibly hope to deceive the ultimates. Their brilliant light would destroy any shadow I tried to cast”

『Light creates shadows it doesn’t destroy them, you idiot. You know Mikan-chan would never commit suicide, you never even thought that was a possibility in the first place. You’re just leading them down a false road on purpose again.』  
  
“That’s not true, the despair disease could have infected her and then who knew what she would have done…”

『Mind control is a really boring plot device though, that’s not what happened, and you know it too. I can’t believe you guys haven’t realized it yet, it’s so obvious what he’s doing. He’s done it every single trial so far.』  
  
“Just spit it out, already! You know something don’t you, Kumagawa-senpai!?” Naze said, if her sister was a lion she was nothing more than a hyena. Half starved scavenger, ready to devour anything, she growled at Kumagawa in impatience. “We’re not going to find the person who killed Gundham, if you keep screwing around.”

『Okay, fine, I’ll tell you if you wanna know that badly! Consider this my revenge.』

“Revenge?” At the moment, even Komaeda looked exasperated by Kumagawa’s ranting. Hinata wondered if Komaeda finally knew what it felt like for everybody else having to deal with him. “Nobody listen to him, he’s just gone insane if he thinks he can influence the results of this trial.”  
  
『You think you’re so special, it pisses me off. You’ve done the same thing every single trial, you know who the culprit is from the start, and you purposefully lead everybody around and drop hints while pretending to know absolutely nothing. So you can feel important. So you can feel like your precious elites are depending on you, but you know Nagito-chan no matter how much you help them they’re never going to appreciate you for it. You should know that by now, you do this every single trial and not once has anybody realized it... has anybody even thanked you? You know… trying the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result that’s the real definition of insanity.』  
  
“That’s a lot coming from the reserve course student who arrogantly thinks he can beat the elite when all he ever does is lose. Being the Ultimate Loser isn’t a talent.”

『You’re right, I can’t win. That’s why, if I can’t win this game I’m going to make it boring for everyone. I’m gonna take away your fun, for pissing me off, Nagito-chan. I won’t let Hinata-kun do any deduction, or detective work, or mystery solving, or anything!.』

“Ho?” Kurokami Medaka tilted her head slightly.  
  
『So, I’ll confess everything! Naze-san did it.』

“Kumaaaaaagggaaawwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaa.” Kurokami Medaka roared in a low and guttural way. “That’s a lie, my older sister wouldn’t kill anyone. Kumagawa why are you lying?”

『I like when you call out my name like that, it makes me feel like I’m a rival in a shone jump manga… but Sssssh, calm down. Let me finish the rest of my confession.』 Kumagawa suddenly lifted his head up regaining life to his body, as if all of his boredom and unenthusiasm a moment ago was just an act. He smiled wide and pressed a finger against one of his rounded cheeks, as if he was an innocent child confessing to all of this. 『I came up with a plan after Naze-san asked me to meet up with her. She asked me pretty eagerly, too. So I decided to pry some information out of her…She gave me the rundown of the virus before she explained it to you guys. As I listened, I realized she was never planning to cure the disease, she was simply planning a murder on me no less with Gundham as her accomplice. When the next victim was found, the disease would be cured and the motive would disappear. Without a doubt, she was going to make me the sacrifice to cure everybody else. I pretended not to know anything, and just be another helpless hospital victim.』  
  
“Wait, huh? All this information suddenly, you’re confessing…” Hinata looked helpless at the other boy, he thought he was making progress on the mystery but suddenly he was completely lost.  
  
“That’s not true! My sister was working hard to cure everybody,” Kurokami said.

『It’s my turn now! I get to talk so don’t talk over me main characters.』Kumagawa was not even looking at them. He blocked out Medaka and Hinata entirely from his sight, as if he had erased them from his world. 『The truth is, Mikan-chan and I worked together. We formed a duo to win the killing game. A sweet girl like MIkan-chan is so easy to manipulate, literally any one of you could have made her do anything with the smallest amount of praise, but you all ignored her so she ended up getting used by a guy like me. By the way, I came up with the murder plan, and MIkan-chan executed it. However, I guess that’s what happens when you leave it up to somebody as useless as a minus. Mikan-chan only managed to kill one person before she got killed herself, which leaves Naze-san as the only one left who could have done the murder. 』

“W-what are you saying? Naze was helping everybody.” Hinata could not accept the person that had given him adivce just a few days ago, would try to frame him for murder like that.

“Don’t listen to him, his words mean absolutely nothing.” Komaeda’s pleasant facade disappeared, Hinata noticed the eyes that Komaeda looked at Kumagawa with were full of disdain. The same rejection that Hinata always felt, for the parts of Komaeda’s personality he could not reconcile with.

『I have proof. The killing method that Nagito-chan noticed but was hiding from all of you, it’s poison.』He reached up to his collar and unbuttoned it, showing a patch of his skin which had completely discolored and turned purple. 『Both of the bodies were killed with poison, the reason for the imitation murder was to disguise the real killing method.』

For some reason, even if Kumagawa was telling the truth right now Hinata wanted to prove him wrong with every fiber of his being. He quickly went through the evidence in his head and fired off a retort. “No, you’re wrong! The monokuma files said that the cause of death was suffocation and bloodloss.”

『The monokuma files said the apparent cause of death was suffocation and blood loss, apparent as in they made it appear that way.』

“Hey, Nagito any ideas?” Hinata said looking back to Komaeda.

『No, it’s my turn now. I bet if Komaeda were talking though he’d say something like ‘Oh, am I allowed to speak? Oh, I’m so happy I’m getting goosebumps! Everyone actually needs help from scum like me!’ pretending to be clueless while secretly getting his rocks off knowing more than anybody else here.』Kumagawa’s voice sounded so eerily similiar to Komaeda’s, that his impression looked like a dark reflection in an inverted mirror. The kind of funhouse apparition that would only show up in horror movies. 『You don’t get to flirt with Nagito-chan anymore, I’m going to be the one to lead you to the answers. Come on, come on, what’s one way for Gundham to try to kill me if he can’t stay at the hospital overnight.』

Hinata looked at the purple discoloration on Kumagawa’s neck, and the shape of the wound itself. He remembered now, Gundham’s hamsters were nowhere near his body when it was discovered. “He used his hamsters. He put poison on his hamster’s teeth and sent them to kill you.”  
  
It was Naze who spoke up joining into the argument fray. “Kumagawa, you bastard. I didn’t try to kill you, but I’ve never wanted to kill anybody so much in my life right now. Why would Gundham risk poisoning his own devas he cared about them more than anything?”

『That’s why you two needed three days to plot the crime in advance. Come on, Hinata-kun pick the right option so we can advance through his boring plot.』

“I… hey don’t rush me okay?” He looked to Pekoyama right then. “I call a hamster for the stand as a witness.”  
  
“Umm….” Pekoyama hesitated for a moment. She reached into her pocket and pulled out one of the hamsters. “Here is the fluffiness you requested.”

It scampered across the railings of their podiums, until Hinata picked it up. He opened the hamsters mouth, and saw the same purple discoloration on the hamster’s teeth. “You fed the hamster the poison ahead of time.”

『I know this better than anyone else, if you sip poison in small doses you’ll build up an immunity, until you become poisonous yourself.』Kumagawa smiled, before looking back to Komaeda. Their faces were a study in contrast, Kuagawa’s had twisted into the manic, joyful mask that Komaeda always seemed to wear during the middle of these trials, while Komaeda looked like he was wearing the gloomy mask of tragedy that Kumagawa wore at every moment f his life. 『Well, I’ll leave the rest to you Nagito-chan. You figured it out because Naze-san told two obvious lies. I'm not smart like you or anything, I'm just sensitive to lies.』

“Huh? Really, you already knew from the start. That’s annoying. I guess I should just awkwardly laugh about that then… Hehe….hehe…” Komaeda’s laughter had much less enthusiasm and life than usual, it seemed almost forced. “Naze-san told us two lies in that moment. First it’s guinea pigs that can’t produce their own vitamin c not hamsters, and second she lied about the autopsy results. Tanaka-kun’s body didn’t bleed even though he was covered in cuts, that’s because all of those cuts were applied posthumously, the same for Tsumiki-san as well.  The body doesn’t bleed posthumously, because the heart has already stopped. There was no bruising around her neck, and the rope wasn’t torn of frayed like it would have been if there was a struggle, it was just lying there tied around her neck.”  
  
“I… I was just stressed from overwork so I made a mistake…” Naze grit her teeth underneath her bandages.

“Even a first year medical student wouldn’t make an obvious mistake like that.” Komaeda sighed, looking resigned at this point.  
  
“Y-you lied to us, Naze-san?”  
  
“I… no wait, don’t fall for Kumagawa-senpai’s lies. There’s no way I could have killed them both in the time frame. W-we still don’t even know when the murders take place it’s not like we could determine that.””

『That’s because you didn’t kill them both. You only killed Mikan-chan. After Hamtaro-chan was killed by her. Do you know why Mikan-chan’s entire body was covered in bandages? Because on my orders she went to go confront Hamtaro-chan and covered herself in bandages to protect himself from poisonous hamster bites. She killed him overnight, and then in the morning you killed her in retaliation, and realized he others would stumble upon the crime scene so you put together a sloppy frame job on Hinata-kun to distract them. The imitation killings, the locked door mystery, distractions, pointless distractions, but I’m an expert in revelling in pointlessness so I saw right through them in an instant.』  
  
“It’s not… I wasn’t thinking…”

『It’s okay Naze-san, it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t Mikan-chan’s fault either. All of this turned out with the worst result possible because I was involved, I’m the only one at fault here. Well, you’re still the blackened though so sucks to be you.』

“You really think we’re going to vote to execute her on your testimony alone? All you ever do is spout lies, they’re not even particularly artfully told lies either, they’re just compulsive ones because you don’t know what the truth is.” Komaeda said, glaring down Kumagawa. “All you ever do is tell lies and you don’t even have any talent in that.”

『If you don’t want to believe my lies, then prove me wrong! Unless you can disprove me, you have no choice but to accept what I said as truth.』

“How were you even capable of plotting that far ahead, and remembering things when you were sick. Everyone else was so delirious they can’t remember a single thing.”

『Oh, but you remember things don’t you? You remember that Mikan-chan tried to kill you, for instance...』

“....” For the first time in the trials, Komaeda was completely speechless.  
  
Hinata’s eyes widened. “She did what?”

『See the thing is I’m quite used to getting sick. Endurance is my only strong suit. In the past when Ajimu-san got bored with me, she had a skill five fingers, which she would use to infect me with all kinds of diseases. Isn’t that right?』

Ajimu Najimi quieted for a moment, as she raised her head from where she was dangling. After that moment of hesitation passed, a sick smile crawled on her face. “That’s right, you were so cute when your face was all red with fever.”

Nagito Komaeda watched Kumagawa’s face carefully. Even though just a moment ago he had said Kumagawa could not even tell artful lies, he noticed right at that moment. _He’s lying, and Ajimu is playing along with his lie._

『Anyway, this is getting boring. There should be definitive proof that Naze-san stumbled upon the crime scene first and found Hamtaro-chan’s dead body, and that the bodies were killed at different times no matter how much she tried to use heat to conceal the times of death... come on think Hajime-chan you were there when the bodies were discovered.』

Hajime thought back to that horrifying memory he had been repressing this entire time. No, it was because he was repressing it that he did not realize. “Gundham and Mikan’s body announcement alarms went off at different times. That’s because… somebody must have found one of the bodies first, they were killed at different times.”

“Lies… Lies, lies lies lies lies lies!” Naze growled from underneath her bandages as she smashed her fist hard against the podium. She looked like a caged wildcat, rattling its bars in that moment. Then, her lips parted and showed a smile underneath her bandages. She laughed, like the starved hyena who could only survive off of scraps. “You can’t find something brilliant with just lies! You’re half assing this, Kumagawa-senpai like you always do. Come on, even if bodies were injured posthumously, there’s no way I could do that and then appear cleanly in front of everybody. If i had stabbed Gundham’s body that much there’s at least be a little blood on me.”  
  
Despite her addressing Kumagawa, it was Hinata however who countered her last desperate final argument. “Naze… it wouldn’t matter if you god blood on you, because your entire body is always covered up and hidden. Naze… why don’t you show us what’s under your bandages.”  
  
“You… you really believe somebody like Kumagawa-senpai over me?”

“Please, I want you to be innocent, I don’t want to suspect anybody else... that’s why you have to show us.”

At that moment, Naze slowly in resignation reached up and grabbed the knife that was always sticking out of her forehead. She pulled it out, and let the bandages fall from her face. As she did, the beautiful face of a girl with short purple hair was revealed to be covered in dried blood, smeared everywhere. “Oi. Quit staring all of you, it’s annoying seeing everybody stare at my face that’s why I always keep it covered up.” She said, putting on an act for her final few moments on stage. “You managed to corner me with lies, Kumagawa-senpai. Should I put on a naked apron to congratulate you?”

『Fu… Now, now Naze-san.Do you think that even now I would be the type to obsess over something so childish? Naked apron? Show that to pre-schoolers, my current trend is! Hand-bra jeans! With this I will aim for the cover of weekly shonen jump. 』  
  
“Eh… ah, yeah… Okay then.”

『Eh… What’s that weird reaction right there!? No, Naze-san you just don’t know the appeal of hand-bra jeans yet..』

“Hand bra jeans, the appeal is the exposure of the female’s soft body, whether you like it or not, being naked to the waist and the mismatch between the hard and thickjeans. The true essence is the union of girly and boyish styles. At the same time the hand-bra forces even current girls that lack shameful feelings to make an embarrassing pose” Monokuma said from his throne, as he rubbed his plush paws togeher.

『.......Actually, can I join sides with the mastermind?』Kumagawa said, as his lips pulled tight and quivered a moment.

“Oi! You’re not allowed to switch sides when you’re my possession, senpai!” Junko said, suddenly grabbing him by the ear and pulling him back. “Don’t make a face that says ‘she can do it’!”

“Well, anyway if you kids have time to be joking around, then you have time to be voting who the murderer is.” Monokuma said as he impatiently kicked his feet on his throne.

 **> Verdict.** **  
** **> Naze Youka has been selected as the blackened. ** **  
** **> Congratulations. ****  
**

“Kuji-nee you… you killed someone…” Kurokami Medaka looked at her sister her eyes entirely blank, as if the genius could not comprehend nor calculate the scene in front of her.

『That’s your weakness, Medaka-chan. You can solve mysteries easier than any of us, but you can’t bring yourself to actually suspect your friends ever, that’s why you’re so ill suited for these trials. But, don’t make such a sad face, your sister had good intentions after all she just wanted to cure you. I’m the one who made everything go wrong...』

“Would you shut up already, Kumagawa-senpai? It really pisses me off watching you try to take credit for everything with such a half assed explanation…” Naze said as she scowled now with the full force of her face that was no longer hidden beneath bandages. “That’s not the real reason I did it, I just… wanted to see Koga-chan again. She was the only one I liked…”

 

 ♛

 

Those two dark souls sat in the middle of the room together. The only light between them was the soft glow of digital readouts on medical equipment, that reflected in both of their eyes. Both of them had uneven gazes, as Naze Youka only exposed one eye, and Tanaka Gundham had heterochromia a condition where each of his eyes was a separate color.  
  
“So, this it what destiny has chosen for us, huh? The last resort of the depraved.” Gundham said, as he met her eyes finally. The two of them had been sitting in silence before this, despite the fact that they had agreed to this three days ago they were both incredibly awkward when it came to goodbyes.  
  
“You’re really going to keep up with that chuuni nonsense until the end, huh? Just answer me honestly, are you sure about this? Isn’t the right thing to do to just roll over and die rather than become a murderer?”  
  
“Hmm… I will not argue… but I must say this. What’s the point of living if you're just waiting until you finally die? That is abandonment! A mere feeling of resignation! Nothing is born from resignation, that is simply a reason to give up. Giving up on life… That’s an insult to life itself. Have you ever heard of the term, dog eat dog? In zooology, cannibalism is a commonly observed phenomenon. That is what it means to live! If you say killing for the sake of living is ‘evil’ then what would you call giving up on life itself? If a world would consider that justice, then I will fight that world with every last fiber of my being! Giving up and choosing death is nothing but a blasphemy to life itself! It’s a violation of  the natural order! It is the arrogance of humanity!”  
  
“Yeah but… you’re a kind hearted guy after all. You don’t have to get dragged into my schemes with me. You don’t have to put on an act for my sake.”  
  
“You… have the courage to stain your hands with blood when it’s needed, and die when you need to die. Hmmph, I can’t believe you would ask such a foolish, question. Just who do you think I am? I am Gundham Tanaka, history kind’s greatest monster! My cursed existence is feared by all makind! There’s no way I’d sacrifice myself for the sake of you, not in a billion, not in 10,000 billion years…! In the name of Pandaemonium, it is impossible! I’ve only decided, to let myself be dragged into hell with you, because you are the only one whose evil matches mine. This isn’t an act, this is who I am, I a evil itself.”

“...If the plan doesn’t work out well in your favor… you won’t get to see Sonia again. I’m not going to go easy on you after this, I’m not anything like you, I don’t have an ounce of kindness within me.”  
  
“That’s fine… an act as unrefined as waiting for a man to return from death, does not befit a noble such as herself.” He stood up then, walking forward until he was standing over Naze. His body eclipsed hers, and he put his arms on the arm rest she had been lounging on in her chain. Hand over hers, he leaned over until their faces were a few centimeters apart. “Even so… even if she’s not waiting for me like a sleeping princess in a tower, I must go on living. Even though it may be childish of me, I can’t go on complying with this game. From now on, I must struggle with the world. My mother was… the last existence that could end her life so beautifully and sadly. The dying are beautiful, they’re clean, pure, but to live, to survive, you must become tainted by poison.” As he said this, he leaned forward and placed a kiss on her lips, tipping her head back as she did. "I'm no good for her, but I want to see her again, because she's my reason to live. I'm far too ugly, far too poisonous, but I can't help wanting it. That's why we're the same, right?"

Naze’s one eye widened, and she accepted but barely reacted. When he drew back, she let her tongue fall out of her mouth, revealing a capsule that had been placed behind it. “Yeah I guess, from the moment we met all we could do was poison one another.”

“Yes, let us taste each other’s poison and see who lives.” Gundham said pushing away from her and standing up once more. She watched his back as he went, and the way his large scarf fluttered behind him. She thought… just in that moment… he finally looked a little cool.

The next morning Naze expected to meet Gundham at their assigned meeting spot at the Titty Twister, but nobody showed up. She grew anxious fast and quickly ran to the hospital again just as opening hours started. What she found waiting there was Tsumiki Mikan, pulling Gundham’s body out of the trap door underneath the bed where it had been stuffed a moment ago. The poison capsule that Gundham swallowed, it must have exploded on him when Mikan fought back against him. She was able to deduce that in a second and yet...she stopped thinking logically.  
  
Her eyes went red and she rushed forward, knocking Mikan to the ground easily and pinning her to the bed. In an isntant, she forced her lips over Mikan’s, and pushed with her tongue the poison capsule that was in her mouth into Mikan’s. After a few moments of struggle, Mikan’s body went limp.

However, the chemicals for making the poison were still in her office. At that moment the girl realized if they knew both had died by poison, she would be blamed. She walked over to the table and picked up a scalpel. Animals had no care for what happened to human corpses after all, that taboo was just the arrogance of humanity. She caressed Gundham’s already dead cheek for a moment, and then drove the the scalpel into his body over and over, and over, with such force even a little bit of post-humous blood splashed on her face.

 _Ah.  
_ _I guess I liked Gundham more than I thought.  
  
_ She only realized it after they were both dead at her feet.   
From that point on.   
She had no choice but to scavenge his corpse, she was not a proud lion like her sister. She was nothing more than a laughing mad hyena after all.

 

 ♛

  
“We both wanted to escape this island to see our loved ones again. The plan was for Gundham to use his hamsters to kill Kumagawa-senpai after hours, and then to hide the body in the trap doors underneath the beds to avoid discovery. Then, the two of us would duel to the death and fight until the capsules in our mouths burst and released the poison, whoever lived would make a mad attempt to escape from this island…” Naze admitted looking at everyone with both eyes, and her bare face. “However, after Tsumiki-san got in the way I…improvised from that point on. It’s like Koga-chan always says… I don’t think things through.”

『You… you were all just trying to live. Why did Mikan-chan have to get involved and die because of that? I’m the one who should have died...』Kumagawa said, tears welling up in the corners of his eyes and falling freely.  
  
In front of everybody, he broke down. He went to wipe at his eyes once more, and he did that at a maddening pace, grabbing at his face with his long fingers and thrashing about in his grief. For a moment, nobody doubted his misery. After all, misery had always been synonymous with Kumagawa Misogi’s being. 『It’s my fault, it’s my fault, it’s my fault… Why, why, why, why, why did Mikan-chan die?』  
  
Kumagawa cried.  
He cried, wailed, grieved, mourned, screamed, clawed at his face like a raving animal, but as suddenly as it had started he stopped. He removed his hands from his face, and despite the redness of his eyes he was wearing a bright and optimistic smile.

『Oh well. I’m bored of crying now. Mikan-chan died because she’s an idiot who let herself get used by me, and now Naze-san is going to die too. It’s her fault for being an edgelord and falling victim to that stupid ‘the only way to live is to kill’ philosophy.』  
  
“Kumagawa… don’t you dare talk about her that way.” Medaka growled. “You don’t even have a family… so how could you know anything about her?”  
  
“No, he’s right. This is my fault. I’m sorry Medaka-chan, I wasn’t able to ever be a good sister to you… but in the end at least I was able to give you something. Let the despair you feel from this betrayal allow you to suspect others, allow you to turn on others, allow you to survive. Despair will be a better teacher than your foolish sister ever was!”  
  
“I didn’t want you to give anything to me, I didn’t need you to teach anything, I was just happy being your sister!” Kurokami Medaka screamed after her.  
  
“Huh…?” In that moment Naze Youka froze however it was too late.  
  
“It’s punisssssshmeeeent tiiiiiiiiiiiiiimeeeeee!” At the heartfelt tears between sisters, a bear was already laughing.

 **Game Over** **  
** **  
** **Kurokami Kujira has been Found Guilty** **  
** **Black White**

A rope shot out from behind Naze wrapping around her. She struggled against it, thrashing bak and forth. After all, the reason they had committed those murders was to live and escape from this island to see those people again. She had promised Gundham no matter what, she would struggle until the bitter end so as to not disgrace life.  
  
She looked around and saw where she was. An operating room, and she had been tied down to a stretcher. There was a group of Monokuma doctors surrounding her. She grit her jagged teeth in annoyance, looking for anything around her she could use to cut off the restraints on her body.

She squirmed, and squirmed, even willing to become a worm if it meant surviving. She had promised Gundham after all. The Monokuma surgeons were not even trying to go after her, they were merely dancing around her. They were probably just making fun of her, all that damn bear, and that damn girl were capable of doing was laughing at others after all.  
  
She managed to squirm far enough to roll off of the operating table. On the floor she looked around for any kind of way out. There was a red light just above the door, it suddenly started to beep and flash.  
  
The light was the only thing she could see, she became fixated upon it, crawling slowly towards it. Even if it was pathetic, even if it was as the most lowly creature of the all, she wanted to survive. The reason she always lived in darkness, was because she knew that if she lived the most pathetic, squalor filled life possible, something brilliant would be born out of it. Just short of the door, she saw the red light suddenly stop flashing. The beeping noise finished. She nudged the door open with her head.  
  
Then, the entire operating room exploded without any warning. The entire hospital building collapsed around her, as cardboard walls from a fake stage set fell forward. The only thing left in the wreckage were a few pieces of paper, as it fluttered down on that piece of paper was a hand drawn picture of Monokuma. “Warning, there is a fake doctor impersonating the real one.”

At the end of the execution, Kurokami Medaka collapsed into tears and dug her face intoy Hitoyoshi Zenkichi’s shoulders. Completely stunned, he had no idea how to process any of this, or what to do. He simply looked at her clinging onto him, and then to his own hands he held up in the empty air behind her, oblivious to where he was supposed to put them.

Enoshima Junko smiled at this.  
  
“Why are you crying? Why are you so upset? You have such a cool sister. Unlike this boring disappointment sister of mine, who keeps living, and won’t ever betray me, your sister betrayed you and died.” She immediately threw her arms around Mukuro’s shoulder, pulling her close and posing happily with her.  
  
“Umm… Junko…” Mukuro hesitated. Normally she would be happy to be embraced by her sister who had never once before embraced her, but there was no way she could enjoy it in this moment. “You’re just… making things worse..like usual…” All she could bring herself to do was avert her eyes from the miserable scene in front of her.  
  
Komaeda glared at Kumagawa from across the arena, not even bothering to hide the misery that had welled up in his eyes. “This is your fault. The reason hope won’t shine is because you’re getting in the way of things.”

『Don’t get upset at me just because you lost. That’s called being a poor loser』Kumagawa smiled back at him, the optimistic and disarming smile that Komaeda usually wore. 『If your ultimates were really so great, they wouldn’t be losing this game over and over again. Especially not to weaklings like you and me.』  
  
“This isn’t a game.”

『Yeah it is, it has rules, and a winner and a loser. It’s a game. I told you not to tell boring lies, Nagito-chan. I’m not the one you’re mad at…after all you don’t have any expectations for a person like me... your precious ultimates keep disappointing you, because they keep running away from this game instead of facing it. They won’t play with you. I can see the look in your eyes right now, you know what it says? ‘I’m not having any fun’. 』Kumagawa put his hands in his pockets, and turned around walking away alone. 『If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at yourself for having such unreasonable expectations. I think… if everybody keeps surviving that’s just fine. That’s what normal people would do.』  
  
As much as he hated Kumagawa, as much as he wanted to deny him, in that moment Hinata could not think of anything to say. They were all merely trying to survive after all. It was exactly as he had feared at the beginning of this trial, his most negative thoughts spoken aloud. He was afraid of confronting the mystery of this island, and because of that, because he kept running away from the mystery the killing game continued.

Kumagawa Misogi was like his every worst intention, his every flaw, his every insecurity, his every doubt, his every bit of denial, his every lie  given flesh. He was negativity itself.

 

 ♛

 

Kumagawa stared at the white hot sun as it was just about to set. He heard a noise behind him, and turned his head. A boy was standing behind him, his hair as white as the sun and for a moment he looked just as blinding. No, not the boy himself but his beliefs, his unwavering faith in a good ending that was bright enough to blind Kumagawa.  
  
Komaeda Nagito reached into the pocket of his trench coat, and pulled out a knife. The same knife that had been taken out from Naze’s head to bind her bandages previously, and thrown aside. It must have been a souvenir from the trial. Komaeda’s pale hands gripped it shakily, he must have remembered the violent memory from the last time he decided to pick up a knife.

Kuagawa smiled at this, even in the midst of a killing game he was the same Nagito-chan that he had known. The one that hated himself for hurting others. However, when the light from the sun reflected off of the knife, and into his eyes, he flinched for just a moment. 『...』

“If you don’t tell me the truth, I’ll remove you from this game. Even if it’s not sacrifice for hope, it’d be worth it just to get you and I… the unnecessary people of this island.”

『Oh, how fun. This time make sure you aim for a vital spot. You can’t just stab randomly, otherwise you’ll just stab again and again without killing anything. Though, I’m sure you know that.』  
  
Komaeda’s trembling fingers tightened around the knife. Even after he had threatened him, Kumagawa had not even bothered to remove his hands from his pockets. Komaeda at least had his luck to believe in, as well as hope. He had no idea where Kumagawa’s confidence came from, as he had nothing at all to believe in. “Why did you lie so much at the trial? Naze really was the culprit but… there’s no way you would have ordered Tsumiki-san to die for you.”

『Are you sure about that? I’m just a hypocrite after all.』  
  
“It’s not that I think you’re too good of a person to do that, but rather you’re not smart enough. You never plan things that far in advance, there’s no way you’d detect a murder plan on you, intercept it, and then use Mikan as a tool to dispatch the threats to you.”

『See, you’re way better at this than all those ultimates. You’re the only one who had the common sense to doubt the liar!』Kumagawa said, praising him genuinely. He pulled his hands out of his pockets finally, and held them up in the empty air in front of him.『If they thought I was the one who ordered Mikan-chan to kill, they’d forgive her for killing. If it’s not her fault then… she can be forgiven. I wasn’t able to keep my promise to her, I couldn’t stop her from becoming a killer, or from dying, so the least I can do is stain my hands with so much blood that everybody forgets about her.』

“Why… why for Tsumiki-san?”

『It’s not that complicated… I just want friends I won't lose. I’ll do the same for you.』He put his hands back in his pockets casually, and  walked up slowly to Komaeda, and leaned over him, the shadow of his body, the pitch black eclipsing the white of Komaeda’s pale figure. 『How about we both pretend that I’m the traitor, then you can sell me out to everybody and make them all trust you again?』

Komaeda tossed the knife aside.“ That’s enough, I won’t be provoked by trash like you. You.. you do know something about this game that nobody else does, I was right… then… Kumagawa-kun. Do you remember a boy with long black hair, and red eyes?”

At that moment, Kumagawa simply flashed a smile at him. 『If you forgot about him… then he probably didn’t matter much to you in the first place, or maybe you didn’t matter to him.』

My everything.  
Komaeda did not know why, but he wanted to deny those words Kumagawa just said with everything. Even though he knew he was being provoked he swung forward. He forgot about throwing the knife aside a moment ago, and plunged his fist right into Kumagawa’s face. As was his terrible habit, the other boy did not bother to fight back.  
  
Komaeda made a shriek only the dying could make, of emotions that he himself did not understand as he lashed out at the boy. Hit, after hit, but no matter how hard he hit him, he could not destroy the smile on Kumagawa’s face.  
  
No, Komaeda realized he should know better. Hitting him would do nothing to that boy. They were both so used to pain. The only thing that really fazed them at this point was emotional damage. He stopped, holding Kumagawa by the collar with his superior height, his hand hesitating a few centimeters from his face. “You asked if I could remember, Tsumiki-san tryin to kill me right? My consciousness kept drifting but even so, when I did catch a glimpse of her, her expression was... Full of despair. A despair so devoid of hope that not even a single fragment of it remained. She was overcome with despair… she can’t go back to being the old Mikan no matter what. There was no hope for healing her in the first place. That’s the reason why… I can never forgive her, no matter how many lies you tell. Someone who always lost herself so easily wasn’t worth living in the first place.”

『I changed my mind.』Kumagawa said, and suddenly Komaeda felt his legs being thrown out from underneath him. Despite the fact that he had beaten Kumagawa bloody, and was holding him by the collar of his uniform around his neck, the other boy somehow turned the tables in a moment and Komaeda found himself thrown on the ground. The next moment, Kumagawa’s foot lowered itself slowly in front of his face. 『I’ve decided, I’ll tell you all about the boy with red eyes if you lick my shoes for me right now. Come on, won’t you do it? I guess you never cared that much about him in the first place.』Kumagawa kicked Komaeda’s face hard, and then walked over slowly, and bent his knees to loom over him. 『I don’t get it, you’re always going ‘kill me, kill me’ so why are you so upset Mikan-chan tried to kill you anyway?』  
  
“Killing for the sake of despair.. Instead of the sake of hope… There’s no way I can forgive that. That’s all." Komaeda said, as he tasted his own blood and choked back nausea from where he had been struck in the stomach.

『Is that what you think? Then, forget about licking my shoe I’ll tell you this for free. You’ll never catch up to those ultimates, you’ll never matter to them, no matter how much you try you can’t stay by Hajime-chan’s side.』  
  
“Why are you saying this all of a sudden…”

『I get it, you don't understand, because you can't understand feelings. I'll just tell you my own feelings as directly as possible then. I’m sure, Hajime-chan finds you interesting, but that's the extent of it. He can’t love you the same way you love him. I didn’t care whether I lived or died, but then I met a special woman. She made me want to go on living. The moment I realized that though, I was terrified, because she could go on living without me, but I couldn’t go on without her. I’ve told her my feelings, knowing that they would only make her sick. Junko tries… in her own way to tell me her feelings. Yet, I can’t stop myself from wanting more, from wanting everything. You should understand that as well, now that you’ve realized what you really wanted… you won’t be satisfied just playing games with Hajime-chan anymore.』  
  
Kumagawa removed his foot from Komaeda’s neck. He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket, and slowly and carefully wiped away at the blood on Komaeda's face until his face was clean again. Then, Kumagawa dropped the handkerchief over his face, like he was a corpse. When he finished, like nothing of their previous conversation had happened, like he was oblivious to the tension in between them he waved bye, with a happy go lucky smile. 『What was it that Mikan-chan said to you? That it’s too bad you don’t have anybody to love… something like that. Well, good for you, you’ve finally found somebody to love. Now you can’t go back to the way you were before. Isn’t it more painful this way? Isn’t this the unrequited love you wanted so badly?』  
  
After those words, Kumagawa disappeared. Komaeda did not even look up to see where he had gone.  
  
The sun that burned bright enough to blind…  
For the first time, Komaeda realized how harmful that light could be.  
He had never thought… the light of hope could be so painful.  
_I want…_ _  
_ _Hinata-kun._ _  
_ _I want all of him._ _  
_ _Not for his light to shine on everybody else, just for myself._ _  
_ _I’m so selfish…_ _  
_ _Love is so… selfish._


	29. Smile at Despair in the name of Laughter (1 - Black Despair x White Hope)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Durarara! Reference to Mikado this chapter.

Hinata fell asleep. He wanted to do more in the aftermath of the trial, to be more deterined, but all he could do the moment he got home was collapse into bed. The moment he was there, he did not ever want to leave it again. His body was heavy, and he quickly sunk into the waters of a dream.  In his dream, he was staring again at the water. The boy with red eyes was staring back at him. 

 **“You thought you would become special, didn’t you?”**  

 **“You thought you had changed so much?”**  
  
Taunting him, just like always, but suddenly it was like they were overlapped. His eyes were overlaid over his own. He was beginning to become confused, about who was the reflection and how was the real one. He just wanted to know who he was for sure. To see himself. To be confident in that image. But it was impossible. The moment people looked away from him, he disappeared. He could only contemplate himself, and he had no idea what he even looked like. He could look endlessly and see nothing.   
  
Then suddenly, he saw something. He was looking through the eyes of the boy with red eyes. He was feeling what he felt. He sat on a bench, in a sterile smelling room and looked up to see an unfamiliar white ceiling. Somewhere, deep behind the glass wall he heard scientists muttering. "This is fantastic." He turned out their mutterings, as it was irrelevant to him. He was trying to remember what he looked like. Did he have friends? Was there anybody else besides him in this world?  
  
Suddenly, he heard the breathing of another. 

_The scientists made one small mistake in their fastidious research. As they went to process the data they left him alone for just a moment in the room with the faceless boy. At the time Kamakura merely sat where he was told to, and waited as he was told. He felt nothing at all towards the scientists, but he obeyed them for one small reason. While the doctors couldn’t possibly have had the answer if he didn’t, the prospect of someone telling him why he had been brought into this world, excited him just a little bit._

_But…_

『 _Man._ 』

『 _If we can control talent, then we can control hope_.』

『 _Those grown-ups are missing the point._ 』

『 _Humans are born with no purpose, live for no reason, and die for nothing._ 』

『 _Talent changes nothing._ 』

『 _Wouldn’t you agree?_ 』

『 _████████-chan?_ 』

『 _You have all the talent in the world, but all you’re doing is sitting there frowning._ 』

『 _It’s because you’ve already realized haven’t you?_ 』

『 _Your actions are completely meaningless_.』

_He forgot the name of that boy, and he never saw him again after that, but the boy was wrong. He had not realized until right at that moment. He continued to stay with the scientists, his teachers who raised and taught him everything, but he realized it was no use._

_Humans are born with no purpose, live for no reason, and die for nothing. The world is pointless, and our lives are aimless. He couldn’t imagine anyone offering a more accurate answer._

_It wasn’t his fault that the others surrounding him lacked talent, it wasn’t his fault for being born with too much talent. Once he accepted this, his heart calmed, and he felt a weight lift from his chest._

**“You were warned. He warned you.”** **  
** The voice spoke up again, and he found himself staring into an empty pool.  
That was right, the loss of sensation, his inability to distinguish things that was because he had willingly stuck his head right into the water.  
He was trying to see what lie at the bottom, of these murky waters that smelled of something foul.  
He tried to breathe the air, but the air was stagnant and it reeked too.  
If that was his choice, then he might as well drown.  
There was no point of breathing still air that tasted like nothing.  
He might as well suffocate.  
As he pushed his head down into the water, memories flooded his sensations once more.

“There’s nothing you could have done. That’s her talent really, she uses people. Even a person like me was used. If you want to make things even you should just use her in return as well."

『 _That’s a terrible thing to say about your friend, ████████-chan!_ 』

“ _She’s not my…”_

『 _Enoshima-sama is just a normal girl. I just wanted to be normal friends that’s all._ 』

_“And the end result is she chewed you up and spit you out, because anything else is impossible for her. She’s only capable of using people.”_

『 _Like you should be talking Redacted-chan!_ 』 _Kumagawa shouted in front of him. Then suddenly, his mood change, and a small smile crept on his face._   _After all, didn’t you use that Chiaki girl?_ 』

“…?”

『 _Aren’t you wondering, why she doesn’t remember you if all I undid was her death? The truth was, I undid everything about you in relation to her. The moment you met her, the time you spent together, the moment you decided to submit to the REDACTED project in order to stay by her side. I undid all of it, because I thought you would go back to normal_ .』 _Kumagawa tilted his head in an odd way._ 『 _Ah, well nothing changed though. So I guess your reason had nothing at all to do with wanting to stand by Chiaki. The problem wasn’t with her, or with the school for manipulating you, or even with Junko for trying to use you. The problem was with you, wasn’t it? I bet no matter how the circumstances unfolded, you would have always tried to run away from your weak self. If I’m someone who will always lose, Junko is somebody who will alway despair, then you’re somebody who will always be weak down to the core of your being even with every talent in the world._ 』

_REDACTED  was filled with the same emotion he felt the first time Kumagawa talked down to him like this. “You know what I just realized… without your all fiction you can finally be killed. ” He reached forward and wrapped his hands  around Kumagawa’s neck._

『 _Is this Enoshima’s fault too? Who’s using your hands right now?_ 』

_“No, it’s mine. These are my hands.”_

_As he felt the life being choked out of him, Kumagawa merely smiled._   _Good_ 』

 **“He tried to warn you.”** **  
****“There’s no grand reveal waiting.”** **  
****“It’s an anticlimax.”** **  
****“It was just, you.”** **  
****“It was always, you.”** **  
****“He told you. “** **  
****“He told you.”** **  
****“That you were the lowest minus.”** **  
****“Yet, you overestimated yourself.”** **  
****“But you would do anything to escape from yourself.”** **  
****“And this is the result of that.”** **  
****“You are stuck with yourself.”** **  
****“When the world ends, the last person alive truly is a villain.”  
  
**_It's not like that.  
  
_ He argued.   
  
_I just wanted to taste happiness.  
__I just wanted what everybody else had._

He tried to reach out and strangle the person in front of him, because he wanted to deny that person. He wanted to strangle Kumagawa until he no longer existed. He wanted to deny his everything. Yet, when he reached forward he could not grasp Kumagawa. Kumagawa slipped through his hands, like water through the cracks between his fingers.  
He realized that Kumagawa was not there, there was nobody else here with him.  
He was merely trying to strangle his own reflection on the water, like a fool.  
He raised his own hands, crossing them around his own neck, and then tried to strangle himself.  
After that, Hinata Hajime woke up from his dream, and immediately sat up from the bed, struggling, gasping desperately for air.

 

 ♛

  
Hinata Hajime had stumbled half asleep out of his cabin. He managed to get a shirt on his back, and that was about it, he was not even sure what time of day it was. When he had a difficult time figuring out where he was going from a lack of light he figured out it was night. Hajie kept his head down and looked at the footprints he left in the sand.  
  
He was not sure why that dream had suddenly struck him with the urge to go to the beach. Perhaps because the beach was where this had all began. He had washed up with no memory, and a boy held out his hand to him.  
  
When he reached the edge of the water he got on his knees and let his knees sink into the sand. Then, he reached forward placing his hands on the edge where the sand met the water. Just like his dream, he peered into the crystal. He wanted to see the boy with the red eyes again. To ask him questions. That was what he had resolved at the end of that bloody, bloody, trial after all.  
  
However, now when he wanted to look he saw absolutely nothing at all. Only his reflection looking back at him in the clean ocean waters, and then the waters receded back and a fresh wave crashed, destroying his reflection and spraying him with a light salt tinged mist. His eyes watered for a moment at the bitterness of it all.  
  
Then his gaze followed the horizon, and he saw Komaeda just lying there on the beach, still, motionless. Hinata might have been concerned for his life, if Komaeda did not look so much like a beached whale at the moment. He got off his knees and walked over to the side of the other boy, leaning over him so he would appear in his viewpoint as Komaeda continued to stare up listlessly at the sky.  
  
“Hey… this is a terrible place to take a nap.”

“Are you upset, because if trash like me lies on the beach that technically counts as littering?” Komaeda retorted without even breaking his gaze from where it was fixed. Hinata wondered what he was looking at for a moment, and wondered if Komaeda would ever look at him so obsessively.   
“No, I just don’t want you to lay here until the tide comes in and you drown.”

  
“I wouldn’t let myself die that way.”  
  
“...!”  
  


“If I don’t die by letting myself get murdered by an Ultimate, how am I supposed to become a step ladder for hope?”

“Nevermind, give me your hand.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“I’m helping you up.”  
  
“Don’t wanna.”

“What are you a kid?”

“I was never allowed to be a child, really.”  
  
“Now’s not the time for that kind of deep self reflection.” Hinata said, rather hypocritically again as he had come to the beach to meaningfully gaze at his reflection. He grabbed onto the green coat that Komaeda was always wearing, and started to drag him by the tail end of the coat. Komaeda did not resist too much, but he did not help either. Which meant Hinata dragged him through the sand, leaving a large, Komaeda shaped trail that erased his footprints. All the way until they reached the board walk. Then, when Komaeda still refused to move on his own, Hinata picked him up awkwardly and held him on his back.  
  
“Do you remember when you were sick?”  
  
“Not much…”  
  
“I carried you on my back just like this.”  
  
“I didn’t ask you to.”  
  
“Actually, you did. Don’t you remember? When we were hanging out with Chiaki?”  
  
“How embarrassing then. I imposed on an Ultimate, and made them carry me like a garbage bag over their shoulder. You should not have taken me to the hospital, you should have just left me in the nearest dumpster.”  
  
“You can just say thank you, jeez.” Hinata made it to his cabin, and opened it up. Komaeda had been over to his cabin so many times, he had completely forgotten the fact that technically they were sleeping in separate cabins and he could have just brought Komaeda to his own cabin. It seemed more natural to him to do this.  
  
He finally let Komaeda go and the boy flopped onto his bed. The boy’s white hair, partially soaked by ocean spray seemed to spill everywhere. Hinata sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over him again. He reached forward, and his fingers inspected Komaeda’s pale and delicate face. Komaeda always had such fragile looking features, it made Hinata almost afraid to touch him. Yet, right at his moment his face was bruised, his nose twisted and off center, his cheeks swollen.

Komaeda’s features being stained these colors somehow bothered Hinata in a fundamental way, like watching ink splash onto a pure white sheet of paper permanently corrupting it. What kind of person would enjoy watching beautiful things get ruined?

 _Ah._ _  
_ _Is that it?_ _  
_ _Do I find Komaeda beautiful?_

Even somebody like Hinata though had the foresight not to just blurt that question aloud. However, he still lacked tact in approaching subjects so he just blurted the next thing that came to mind. “Hey… who did this to you?”

“Kumagawa-kun.”  Komaeda said, dejected.  
  
“Did he try to kill you?” Hinata suddenly felt his blood pressure rising, for reasons he could not understand.  
  
“Don’t say something so ridiculous, Hinata-kun. It’s not much of a talent, but… even I have an Ultimate-level talent, you know. There’s no way a reserve course student could be a threat to me.”

“Then what…?”  
  
“I wanted to ask him a question, but we got into a fight.”

“Did he hit you when you were just trying to talk? That bastard.”  
  
“No. I threatened him with a knife, then I hit him, and he only struck back after I provoked him.”

“Uh…” Hinata still wanted to call Kumagawa a bastard, but he found it increasingly difficult to do so, espeically since he knew how good Komaeda was at provoking others. Kumagawa probably deserved it, the entire trial he had just used as an excuse to mess with Komaeda but then again if he had not Komaeda would have just used the trial to mess with everybody else.

Constantly going back and forth between the two of them, white hope, and black despair, it was like trying to navigate the waters in the middle of a hurricane, with waves sloshing his boat back and forth, back and forth. In other words, it was giving him a headache trying to understand them. “Look… I don’t remember anything from my time at Hope’s Peak, so can you just tell me? Did Kumagawa do something to you in the past?”

“Well, the first time we met he screwed me to a wall.”  
  
“Hah, I knew it-”  
  
“In all fairness I was trying to destroy the school at the time, and he stopped me.”  
  
“I know… I know nothing.”  
  
“I’d explan my motivation but… we’d be here all day and I did not answer your first question yet. The second time I met him, I dropped steel I-beams on Kumagawa and pierced his body from every angle.”  
  
“Uh… How is he still alive?”  
  
“Ticks are hard to kill you know? You can’t just squash them, and sometimes they’ve dug in too deep into your skin and removing them can be hazardous. The Kumagawa you met is the incomplete Kumagawa, normally he has a skill called all fiction that allows him to undo events. That day, he pushed me out of the way and was stabbed by steel beams, and then he took my hand and told me he would erase all of my bad luck.”

Hinata had heard Komaeda talk about his bad luck in the past, several times. Even though Komaeda was difficult to read, and always forcing a smile, every time he talked about bad luck at length Hinata saw his face twist up. Like the word fear had been written all over his face, in every different language, and he could see Komaeda expressing it in every way at once, and yet still trying to keep the nauseous bile of fear down, to swallow that unpleasant emotion. Even someone like Hinata could tell how terrified Komaeda was of his bad luck. Perhaps, because he witnessed that time Komaeda woke up from his nightmare terrified of how his luck hurt Zenkichi, or perhaps it was obvious because nobody who really lacked fear of bad luck needed to go that far to justify themselves.  
  
That was it probably, that was what gave it away to Hinata. That Komaeda went so far to justify his own existence. That only meant he was afraid of himself, of what he was. Hinata knew, because he also needed to justify his existence in the same way. He wanted to say they were the same at that moment, but he hesitated because he realized something.  
  
Kumagawa. Talentless, repulsive Kumagawa, who Komaeda hates, had done so much for him in the past. Yet, no matter how hard he tried Hinata was not able to do a single thing to help the other boy. He could not even do something so simple as stay around and listen, because too often, he got scared and ran away. “He was that important to you, huh?”  
  
“No, important is the opposite of what he is… That boy is by nature pointless.. Nothing comes out of getting close to him.”  
  
Hinata’s heart dropped at the answer. He did not understand why. “What is it because…” What was that word again? The word Naze said he was. It had been at the back of his mind for awhile, Naze said he was inferior and lacking, extraordinary in only the way he envied the extraordinary, the voice inside of his head called him nothing. Hinata did not exist at all unless somebody was looking at him, he had been curious, he just wanted to ask one other person what this minus type personality was supposed to mean. “Is it because he’s a minus? Is that why? I’m sorry… I don’t really get what that means.”  
  
“It’s not even worth explaining. A minus isn’t hope or despair. There are minuses with talent like Fukawa Toko-san and Tsumiki MIkan-san, and Minuses without like Misogi Kumagawa-kun. Therefore, who you are… whether minus, not equal, or abnormal.. That doesn’t ultimately matter in the face of talent. What matters is talent. What matters is hope.”

Hinata’s response, like a reflex, was to think of himself. _Do I matter then?_ He did not dare ask the question aloud. He simply listened silently, trying to read Komaeda’s face.  
  
Komaeda too, watched Hinata for a few moments wondering if the other boy was going to say anything. He really had no idea when he was talking too much, or too little, or when what he said bothered others. People gave no clear indication until they started shouting at you, and that too was something he was too good at tuning out. He decided to just keep speaking eventually, because he was impatient and wanted to keep talking to Hinata in this moment no matter what. The moment he started talking to Hinata he always felt like that. It was addicting. “What do you think Kumagawa-kun’s nature is? Hope, or despair?”  
  
“D-despair, definitely. Obviously. Even looking at that guy’s face is despair inducing.”

“Well, he is quite ugly just like me-”  
  
“Y-you’re not…”

“The real answer is neither, though. Kumagawa-kun is neither hope nor despair. He might seem to lean towards one or the other, but that’s because he just does whatever is convenient to him to survive at the moment. When he tries to help others, he hurts them, when he tries to hurt others he helps them. He’s utterly indiscernible… that’s why he’s so worthless.”  
  
That was right, Kumagawa was worthless to Koameda. Even though he did all those things for him. “Why?”

“He just does whatever he wants. He even… fixed me without asking.”  
  
“Fixed you?”  
  
“I had a progressive disease, and he used his all fiction to erase it, and the reality of my diagnosis changed. He saved my life more or less.”  
  
He had done all of those things for Komaeda, and Kumagawa was still worthless. Then… How much worse must Hinata be? The question hung in his empty head (haha his head is empty) hollowing him out entirely. He opened his mouth to say something, but he had no idea what would come out. He just wanted to say something, to move the conversation on, to stop thinking of this. So naturally, he blurted out the first thing that came to mind again. “I ALMOST DROWNED MYSELF BECAUSE I WANTED TO TALK TO THE TALL DARK AND HANDSOME PRETTY BOY VOICE IN MY HEAD EVEN THOUGH I PROMISED YOU I WOULDN’T.” Hinata said, rather vainly.  
  
“Huh…? Hinata-kun…” Komaeda’s stormy eyes, suddenly looked blurry as if it were about to rain. “You said you wouldn’t… you can’t die, you hypocrite.”

  
“I know, I know, because my death wouldn’t be for the sake of hope-” Hinata was still talking faster than usual.  
  
“No, I…”  
  
He even started to talk over Komaeda. “You’re not much better, okay? How come you told Kumagawa of all people who you hate that Mikan tried to kill you? Why was I the last one to know about that?”

“I just… don’t consider it a big deal.”  
  
“What? Of course it’s a big deal if you die! It’s the biggest deal you’re ever going to experience in your life!”

“Listen, I…” He wanted to reassure Hinata-kun, the same way the other boy always did for him, but he did not know how. “I’ve always lived with death by my side. I’m like… a shinigami. Pure white, inhuman, wherever I show up death was always sure to follow. It stops being a big deal after awhile. It stops being interesting. I’m sure… Kumagawa feels the same way, if you witness despair again and again you get too used to it. That’s why he doesn’t care for it even though he seems full of despair.”  
  
Kumagawa, Kumagawa, Kumagawa. It came back to Kumagawa, always came back to him. Kumagawa was not the main character of this piece of fiction though, he was.

He hated Kumagawa. He did not really understand why, he just wanted to reject him. It was like love at first sight, except with hatred. From the moment he first saw the other boy, his heart started to beat so fast, but only because his blood was boiling over with hatred. It was like first love, but a first time hatred.  
  
It was complex… or perhaps it was just a complex. Yet, Kumagawa had been the one to save the life of the person he wanted to live so badly right now, not him. Hinata could only feel inferior when he thought of that, when Komaeda kept bringing him up.  
  
Hinata was the type of person who read stories and only looked at the surface level. He probably would not notice what the white whale was a metaphor for. He did not grasp at that moment, Komaeda only brought up Kumagawa because he wanted to explain how he (Komaeda) felt, and could not look at himself so he settled for someone who was close (Kumagawa).

“I’m sorry… about talking to myself in the water. I just feel like I’m going crazy, I don’t know what to do about it. You, you’re not scared when I tell you this stuff right?”  
  
“There are plenty of examples in history of those with talent slowly going mad. It’s no big deal, Hinata-kun. I’m sure overcoming it is just something that will make your talent shine brighter.”  
  
“That’s not really that comforting to hear.”  
  
“At least… unlike me, when your mind slowly breaks apart people will remember who you once were. You’ll die without being forgotten.”  
  
“I ld you not to talk about that stuff. I don’t want to hear about you dying… if… if you were to die… I’d hate you.”

 _Please don’t hate me._ Komaeda thought on reflex.  
  
“You have to take care of yourself more, okay? I’m going to get some bandages and ointment from the store for your face, don’t wander off anywhere while I’m gone.”  
  
“Mmm, can I stay?”  
  
“You’re like a cat, jeez. Just stay put.” Hinata said as he stopped leaning over Komaeda. He did not realize how close he had drifted towards the other boy throughout their conversation. It was almost embarrassing, he pushed himself away, his face red, and then quickly turned away using anger to cover up his embarrassment.  
  
He had forgotten though that in his zombie like sleep state, he had only bothered to put on a shirt. He was wearing nothing more than an undershirt that hung loosely off his body and which the strap fell off one of his shoulders, and his boxer shorts the entire time. Komaeda had definitely noticed though. He also watched Hinata the whole time, as he walked away from him the entire time wearing that same outfit.

The moment Hinata walked out the door, he punched the wall. That line he gave about going to buy supplies to patch up Komaeda’s face was just an excuse. He was running away again, because watching Komaeda speak so casually of his own death was too much for him. It scared him too much. He was a coward.

Then, he turned over on the bed restlessly. He pulled his coat off, and threw it aside. Not because it was wet and covered in sand, but because it smelled too much like him. He inhaled deeply. The bed, it smelled rough and earthy, just like Hinata. It was warm, just like Hinata. Komaeda considered for a moment, that he could just lay here and wait for Hinata to return, and let Hinata take care of him. He bet if he asked, Hinata would even let him stay the night, and sleep in the same bed. It’s not like he wanted to do anything, he just wondered what it would be like, to sleep close to somebody so warm. He had never once even been allowed to share a bed with his parents when he had nightmares at night.  
  
"I love everyone here. That's why I want to be of good use to them. I love all of the Ultimates...and I admire them for being symbols of hope,” He muttered to himself again, that maddening mantra he always repeated. “I don’t get it… you’re just supposed to be another Ultimate. I love… all of them equally… so how did you become so special?”  
  
He had waited until Hinata was gone of course to ask that question to empty space that Hinata had been occupying a few moments ago, that seemed lesser now that Hinata was not there. Komaeda sighed, and pushed himself out of the bed leaving his jacket behind. He did just what Hinata had told him not to do a moment ago and started to wander away.  
  
That was just in his nature though, he always contradicted both himself and others like that. A walking contradiction, walking away.

 

 ♛

 

Zenkichi appeared in her doorway, a quiet Medaka still slumped over his shoulder. The moment he started to lower her into her bed, Medaka resisted him. “Hey… Zenkichi, just stay for the night…” She murmured listlesssly.  
  
“I… you know I can’d do that.”  
  
“Why not?”

  
His face was red, and he averted his eyes. His strong willpower was one of the reasons she respected him, but it was also getting in the way at the moment. “I just… I just can’t okay.”

“We used to share the same bed all the time when we were kids.”  
  
“We’re grown up now…” He gave one last excuse, before standing back up again to turn and glare at the girl who had been waiting for them. Enoshima Junko, who Kurokami Medaka had the misfortune of sharing a cabin with.  
  
Enoshima Junko smiled at him, her face, no her entire demeanor was pleasant. She looked like any other giddy and energetic teen girl. Not only that, even though Zenkichi knew the kind of person she was, he could not help but think this face she was showing him at the moment was real. “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of her Hitoyoshi-kun. Let’s bond and talk about girl stuff, roomie!”

Zenkichi growled at her like the protective canine he was. “Shut it. You’re lucky I’m too busy right now, I gotta go find Kumagawa and kick his ass. Otherwise I’d be taking care of you next.”  
  
“You’d hit a pretty girl like me? How cruel.”

“Medaka-chan’s my best friend, we spar like all the time and she’s a girl.”  
  
“I said a pretty girl.”  
  
Zenkichi grinded his teeth for a moment, but decided Enoshima Junko was not worth the time and quickly turned around. One might consider his faith in Medaka far too strong to leave her around Junko in this vulnerable state, but that was Hitoyoshi Zenkichi’s nature. His faith in Medaka was so absolute that it made him a fool.  
  
Junko casually kicked her feet in excitement in the empty air a few more times, then swung her legs and jumped off her bed with energy. She danced around a little bit, twirling her legs as so, before she finally made it to Kurokami Medaka’s side. She put a hand on her shoulder, her red fake fingernails digging into Medaka’s skin. “Lucky yoooooou, that’s despair your feeling.”

Kurokami Medaka looked up at her in that moment. In spite of her great pride as a lion, she made no attempt at all to hide the tears, swollen eyes, and snot that made a mess of her beautiful face. “I’ve… I’ve cried for others so many times, but I don’t think I’ve ever cried this much for myself.”  
  
“Isn’t it fuuuuuun? The old you would have never felt this much, the old you would probably have been able to save everybody and keep everyone secure, but because of despair this completely unexpected result happened.”

“How is it unexpected…”  
  
“Huh?”

“You seem pleased with yourself but… isn’t this what you wanted from the start? You’ve been trying to pick me and my sister’s relationship apart all this time, and then even though you got sick too everything went exactly as you wanted it.”

The corner of Junko’s smile twitched, just a little bit, and she pulled her lips a little tighter. “Why do you have to make everything so boring, Medaka-chan. If you’re so much like me, then you should be interesting. I don’t understand you.”  
  
“I’m the one who will never understand you. I thought there might be some part of you that was sympathetic… because we’re both alike. Both of us grew up like this, never wanting for anything, never facing difficulty for everything, everything going our way, until it completely hollowed us inside out. I thought that might be your reason but…” Kurokami Medaka’s red eyes red eyes sharpened and focused on Junko. No, sharp was the wrong way to describe it, even though she had a fearsome gaze, and her eyes seemed to be holding back such volatile emotions at all time, Medaka had remarkably soft eyes.”There is no reason, none at all. You’re simply like that.”

“God, we’ve been over this befooooooore. It’s not my fault everybody is boring. My bwain is all bwoken, and it made me into a sociopath. Pity me please.”  
  
“No.” Kurokami Medaka denied her. “It is your fault. You could have done something, you could have tried. Emptiness alone isn’t a reason to stomp over all others.”

“So, I should have done what you did? I should have condescendingly tried to save everyone?”  
  
“At least it was something! At least I was always trying! Didn’t I… I helped a lot of people didn’t I? Was the old me that bad? I didn’t go out of my way to hurt others like you… I saved, Kuji-nee, Akune, Mogana, all of them.”  
  
Junko crumpled forward suddenly, barely able to contain herself. She slapped her bandaged, artificial hand over her motuh, but her giggles easily escaped. “Upupupu...pupupupuhuhu.”  
  
“What’s so funny?”  
  
“How can I not laugh at such nonsense?”

“Why is my confusion strange? I had things I cared about, friends, family, I fought to protect them. I valued them all. Nothing has any value to you, it’s all nothing.”  
  
“Did you hear that? I thought you were so terrifying, like some kind of ominpotent force of hope but you’re just a little girl!”

“Why is that humorous to you? Destruction is so worthless! You could have tried to be fair, tried to be just. It’s natural for humans to want to follow order like that.”  
  
“So… you think your previous self, who was just a slave to what is right is better than what I am now?”  
  
“It was better… being a martyr to my ideals, then to be anything like you.”  
  
“That’s not the way a person should live.”  
  
“Perhaps…” Kurokami Medaka hesitated. “Perhaps I was never meant to be viewed as a person. You, who only ever does things for herself would never understand that. You just… devour everything around you to satisfy your endless greed?”  
  
“So what? Living without greed, that’s not even being alive.God, are you regressing already on your character? Even after little Hitoyoshi-kun went through all that trouble to give you that character development. Sure, before you were pure, akin to a saint, proud, and noble, but who can really admire the rough and thorny plath a martyr must follow? Who actually dreams of that kind of pain? It’s self indulgence, whether it’s a god complex or a martyr complex… a complex is a complex you know. It’s pointless to call one better over the other.”  
  
Kurokami Medaka hesitated. He never expected Enoshima Junko to say something so resonant. To her, Enoshima was the embodiment of everything inhuman.  
  
“I just want… to be greedier, to laugh louder, to be angrier, than anyone else. I just want to feel everything, everything, everything that I can’t. That kind of ecstatsy, y’know.” Enoshima Junko leaned back, her eyes elsewhere as her face was the very picture of enjoyment. Then suddenly her head snapped forward again, and Kurokami found herself caught in that girl’s artifically colored blue eyes. “You were able to save your friends once with that attitude but… look what happened when you left your sister to fend for herself.”  
  
“What are you saying?” Kurokami Medaka gasped.  
  
“You saved all those people, but it’s not like you showed them what a person should be. You only cared about your ideals, not about them. You’ve spent your whole life enraptured by the false ideal of a humble savior that always serves others, you’re just a little girl.”

“I…” As Kurokami Medaka’s eyes widened, she heard the sound of laughter in the background, echoing throughout her cabin. “What are you laughing at?”  
  
“I was just enraptured by the agony on your face. A woman after my own heart.” Her hands reached forward, to tenderly caress Medaka’s cheek.  
  
“Bitch.” Medaka slapped her hands away in an instant, violently.  
  
“Oh no, Kurokami said a swear. I’m going to tell Monokuma-sensei on you.” Junko rubbed her own hand, but continued to talk easily. “You always saved others, but you never once understood them. So, even though you chose to take the righteous path you ended up on the exact same destination as me. Destruction. Despair.”

“You’re right, we are the same.”  
  
“Huh? No, you’re not supposed to accept it that easily, that’s no fun. Reject it a little more, you know all dramatic like, nooooo, that’s not poooossible.”  
  
“That’s not what I meant, not everything you said. You… you’re just like me, you don’t understand others either. I don’t think Ajimu was right, when she said your problem was you understand others too well.”  
  
“What? Of course I understand others. I wouldn’t be able to rip them apart so despairingly perfectly, if I didn’t understand them.”  
  
“No… it’s different. You understand their actions, and every single possible move they could make on the outside, but you don't understand their worth."  
  
"Yeah cuz they don't have any."  
  
Kurokami Medaka continued wiping her eyes, and looking up from her fallen state. “You’re just a little girl too. Just because they're not fun for you. You just… pop their heads off, and rip off their limbs, like they’re dolls you get bored with."  
  
“Hey. Hey, this isn’t how this is supposed to work! This is supposed to be a one way callout post. I already have my screen shots. You’re just supposed to sit their and cry while I rip into you.”  
  
“We had… such similar lives. We even both had childhood friends that were always around us but… the way Matsuda talked about you, it was like he did not know you at all. You say you wanted to feel the ultimate despair of losing a loved one, but can you really feel despair properly from someone you never let close at all because you only ever saw them as a doll? It’s not like you shared emotions with them, you just felt things at them.”

“Stop it, stop trying to relate to me with your icky emotions.”  
  
“We’re both the same. We’re both little girls… because… there was never any reason for us to grow up at all. We were born smarter than every adult, and so we were spoiled, and rotted from the inside out.”  
  
“That’s… ugh… that’s so lame.”  
  
“That’s why… you’re the only one I couldn’t ever accept as human, because I still can’t see myself as human. But at least I’m trying to change, you haven’t changed at all. No, it's more like you can't change, because if you let go of despair then there's nothing..."   
  
“Lame, lame, lame, lame, lame, lame, lame, lame, lame, lame, lame, lame! That give peace and understanding a chance drivel just pisses me off!” Enoshia Junko threw a maddening tantrum, stomping her boots as she did. Then, with no dignity or grace at all, she stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

 

 ♛

 

Pekoyama Peko looked up to see Ikusaba Mukuro curled up in her bed.  She remembered a similar scene with her unable to even leave her cabin, just one trial ago. At that time the person who held her hand out was Ikusaba Mukuro. The girl in front of her was a paradox,she had two faces just like her sister but Mukuro’s were much less complex. She was either overwhelmingly strong, or quite whelmingly weak. Pekoyama knew the strong Mukuro quite well, but the weak one still confused her.  
  
She did not even understand the source of the girl’s current sadness. The people that Ikusaba Mukuro needed to protect absolutely were Kumagawa Misogi and Enoshima Junko, and both of them were still alive.  
  
Peko sat at the edge of her bed, and nudged that girl slightly. “Are… are you okay? You can talk about it if you wish, I owe a debt to you after all.”  
  
“It’s just… if Makoto were here, his words would have been able to reach Mikan-chan.”  
  
“I know, it feels pointless now that she’s dead. But it’s the same as my young master. I’m sure your words meant something to her, I’m sure they became a precious memory.”  
  
“I don’t… it’s not the same.” Mukuro hid her face behind her pillow, like a dog that was ashamed. “It’s not the same at all. At least you have precious memories of your master, at least there were moments he treated you with kindness.”  
  
“Your sister didn’t…”  
  
She watched Mukuro shake her head. If she were a dog, her tail would have drooped as well, her sorrow was so obvious. “You’re always so loyal to your sister. I don’t get why, when she treats you like that.”

“Do you regret it?”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Your parents threw you away, and instead of being adopted by somebody kind the only people that took you in was a yakuza family, and only on the condition that you would be raised to kill people. Do you regret that happened?”

“No… because, I respected Mr. and Mrs. Kuzuryuu, but i never really considered them my family. Fuyuhiko was the only one-”  
  
“My parents never even looked at me. No, not even my parents, everybody else in the whole world only ever focused on my brilliant sister. I was always in her shadow, and yet… that girl chose me out of everybody to be her family. To her, family has no value at all, she could care less about our parents they’re not even worth despair to her, but she always acknowledges me as her sister.”  
  
“So? That acknowledgement was just… her hurting you again and again.”  
  
“It was the only acknowledgement I received though. I… wanted to pretend it was… I know she treats me badly. I’m not that stupid. “ She sat up suddenly, wrapping the sheets of the bed around her. Pekoyama saw a manic look in Ikusaba’s eyes, and just for a moment she though. _Ah. Those two, Enoshima and Ikusaba really are sisters. They have the same eyes after all._ It was the first time she had such a thought, they usually seemed so different to her, like night and day, a brilliant sun and a moon that could only reflect the sun’s light. Pekoyama recognized the difference a few moments later though, Enoshima Junko was just broken on her own. Nothing bad ever happened to her, nothing troubled her, but the troubled, broken look in Mukuro’s eyes, she had been beaten repeatedly and conditioned into that state. “Do you want to know a secret? I started to hate her. I regretted, that I was born as her sister. I cursed the moment she told me to protect her. Every word she uttered, every thing about my beautiful, lovely sister, they’re like so many chains tying me down. But… I also realized that… this hatred, it’s the product of my real emotions. I’m so… malformed, incomplete as a human being, I barely feel anything, and so much of my identity all of my love and all of my hate it’s tied up in Junko.She made me this way, but it’s also… if I have Junko I know who I am.”  
  
Ikusaba Mukuro stopped her manic rambling for a moment, looking up to see the quiet fear behind Pekoyama’s glasses. “Ah… sorry, I just sound crazy right? Junko’s crazy twin sister whose creepily obsessed with her, it’s my character archetype. It’s not like I wanted to be this way… I’m not lustful, or greedy or anything, like my trashy sister. My desire is actually simple. Makoto, Kumagawa, myself, and Junko… I just wish the four of us could be a real family.”  
  
Pekoyama realized the face she had been making, and fought to still her expression. “I don’t think so.”  
  
“You don’t?”  
  
“That sounds like a nice dream to me, Ikusaba-san.”  
  
“Um… sorry… once I start talking it’s hard to stop, and I’ not good at talking to others so…”  
  
“It’s fine.” She offered a small smile. “It’s the job of a senpai to listen to their kouhai, right? Besides I want to ask you the same thing. Do you regret the fact that you were born as Junko’s sister?”  
  
“I… I don’t know.” Mukuro gasped, surprised at her own answer. After all she had spent her life so determined to fulfill the role of being Junko’s sister, feeling so indebted to her sister just for acknowledging her as her family. She did not ever consider even the hypothetical that there could be a choice.

Before their conversation could reach any neat or tidy resolution, before character development could take hold suddenly the door flung itself open. A girl with two pigtails was standing proudly in the middle of it, and instantly she drew up all the attention in the room.  
  
She leaned over Mukuro’s bed. “Hey, sis. Do you wanna have some girl talk?”  
  
“Girl talk? Junko, you’ve never wanted to talk to me about anything before, when I get close to you to try to talk you say my breath smells too rancid and tell me to get-” Mukuro was too confused, and did not read Junko’s statement as the order she intended it to be. Like a dog on a leash, she was grabbed, and dragged out of there.  
  
Pekoyama considered interfering for a moment, but she was too burned from the last time she had dealt with Enoshima Junko and lost everything because of it. She hoped, Ikusaba Mukuro would forgive her cowardice.

“Junko? Junko are you alright? Why are you dragging me somewhere in the middle of the night is something wrong-” Mukuro’s honest concerns suddenly died in her mouth as Enoshima Junko suddenly turned around and hit her sister hard in the gut. Despite the fact that Ikusaba Mukuro was trained in several different kinds of hand to hand combat, and her stomach was well muscled she instantly crumpled over and had the wind knocked out of her.  
  
Strength had nothing to do with abuse after all. Enoshima Junko towered over her sister a pleasant smile on her face. Her sister almost never showed her that smiling face. “Hey Mukuro could you do me a little favor? You’d do anything for me, because we’re sisters, right?”  
  
“...”

“Then comfort me okay? Medaka-chan is such a meanie, bullying your little sister. You’ll protect me, won’t you? After all, you’re so strong sis.” As she said that, she drove her heel right into Mukuro’s stomach, exactly where she had  hit her before to knock her down. Junko pushed hard and twisted it. Mukuro could not even cry out in pain, because she could not breathe the shock was so bad.

“...”  
  
“Why aren’t you saying anything? You could at least squeak like one of those chew toys they give to dogs. God, you can’t even be beaten properly. You’re really a disappointment until the end.”  Junko knelt over her sister, and grabbed her back her black hair. Her sister had such plain and unremarkable hair, Junko did not even want to touch it. Yet, she dragged her sister’s head up by her hair, and then slammed it down hard into the sand.  
  
It was just like Kurokami Medaka said. Her sister was a toy she was dissatisfied with. She wanted to playfull rip the limbs off. She wanted to cruelly force Mukuro to live. A sister she could not help but love, despite only seeing her as a toy. The person who was always by her side. The one she had grown so attached to. It was not that she hated her sister and loved herself, she hated herself because of how much she loved her sister. Each blow, she felt worse, she drowned herself in self pity for what she was doing. She was the absolute worst, the lowest. She wanted to enjoy that feeling….  
  
Because the trial had been boring to her.  
Because Kurokami Medaka falling into despair after losing her sister made her feel nothing.  
The grisly death of hope should have been a springboard that launched her into ecstasy.  
Now she was just pathetically lashing out at her sister, trying to feel soemthing.  
  
“Why are you ignoring me, Mukuro? Do you hate me that much?”  
  
“I don’t hate you Junko but… ah… isn’t this the same as always?”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“This is what you always do to me. I’m used to it. I thought you were some special existence, you were an artist when it came to despair but… isn’t this textbook abuse? A lot of siblings beat each other… to take out their frustrations.”  
  
“No, that’s not what this is…”

Her sister’s dull eyes, stared rolled around dizzily from the beating she had received, before staring up at her. “I’m the one who should be asking… why are you always like this…?”  
  
“God. I can’t believe I have to explain despair to you. Aren’t you supposed to be a despair sister? You can’t even get the one thing you’re good at, right?”  
  
“I… Junko ..I… never really cared about despair that much.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“We never really talked about it. We never really talked about anything, you just assumed…”  
  
“Why would I talk to somebody boring like you?”

“I understand why, you beat me up, and call me stinky. It’s because you want to taste the despair of being so cruel to your only sister. It’s no fun being cruel to somebody you don’t care about, right? But… that’s what I don’t get. I don’t feel like your sister.”  
  
“Mukuro.”  
  
“We’re not even… a real family.”  
  
“Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I’m the one who gets to decide things like that. Not you!”

“No, nobody decides it… it’s just there. It’s somebody you have happy memories with but… I don’t have a single happy memory with you, Junko.” Ikusaba Mukuro got up on her own, wiping the sand out of her face. She had always taken care of her sister’s injuries when her sister got into trouble, and all on her own she dealt with the injuries her sister gave her.

“I’m your only family, you know.”  
  
“No… Misogi-chan. He’s like… my foolish younger brother.”  
  
“Ugh, that loser? Why would you even like him?”  
  
“He’s… the first person that ever saw me as something separate from you. When I was sad, he carried me home on his back. He looks weak, but his back is firm and strong, I like it.” Mukuro immediately turned on her sister, her usually neutral expression becoming upset. “Besides, you’re the one whose dating him! You shouldn’t be calling him a loser.”  
  
“We’re not dating.”  
  
“How… how are you not dating yet? Junko… you’re really bad at this.”

“Shut up!”

“That supercomputer brain of yours runs a little slow when it comes to Misogi-chan? Algorithims went awry? Not quite the same kind of “stuff” as unraveling conspiracies and the dark underbelly of a school, huh?”  
  
“Leave me alone! What do you know about it?” Enoshima Junko stomped her boot in the sand. For a moment, she just looked like a normal younger sister being teased by her older one. “It’s not like I want to… he’s so oblivious okay it’s frustrating.”  
  
“Do you want some advice?”  
  
“I’d rather face the ultimate punishment right now, then listen to my dumb sister try to rub her two last remaining brain cells together to give me advice.”  
  
“Junko… you know, I dated a boy before you did and I’m older than you.”  
  
“By like eight minutes!”  
  
“Yeah, considering how quickly you get bored in Junko time eight minutes might as well be eight years.” Mukuro said, before imitating her younger sister, and stomping off.  
  
The moment her sister left, Enoshima Junko fell backwards, sitting in the sand. She lifted her hand scooping up a fair amount of sand, and let it all sift through the gaps between her fingers. “I can think of a happy memory…” She said to no one in particular. “When I used to get headaches all the time, you would let me rest my head in your lap, and you’d brush my hair…forgetting that you really are so stupid Mukuro.”

 

 ♛

 

“You’re the only one of the ultimates working to unravel the mysteries of this island. That’s why I think we should work together, I’d do anything to become a step ladder for your efforts-” Komaeda Nagito was cut off coldly and politely.  
  
“No thank you.”  
  
He tilted his head. “Huh? Well, I guess I should have expected that. There’s no way somebody like me could be of any help to you.”  
  
“Your investigative ability is quite fine, Nagito Komaeda-kun. I just don’t trust you is all.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“I can trust Ikusaba Mukuro-san, but not you.”  
  
Komaeda tilted his head even further. He slapped his ear repeatedly just to be sure of it. “Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? You say somebody who aligned themselves with despair, is better than me who would give anything for hope?”  
  
“I’m well aware of who Ikusaba-san was in the past. It’s because I know everything about her, that I can trust her.”  
  
“I thought we were somewhat alike, Kirigiri-san. Talent is everything to you, and you understand hope when you see it as well.”  
  
Kirigiri’s gaze was cold as she looked down at her gloved hands. What was underneath, the human hands she had, she had never shown another person. The person she was planning to show them to, did not feel the same way about her as she did about him. They could not become family, sadly. Her father, and grandfather were also nowhere near her as well. So, she did not have much to verify on whether Komaeda’s claims about her were true. She did not understand herself that well. “I… you’re right this talent of mine is important to me. TO me, being a detective and being alive are the same thing, but I don’t know… if that’s right.”  
  
“That’s no good. An Ultimate is somebody who should have complete confidence in themselves. After all, if talent does not give you confidence, then what can?” Komaeda said, trying to sound encouraging, but his voice was too sickly, it unnerved her too much. “You should believe in yourself more. I’ll believe in you, as much as you need me to. You Ultimates are my hope after all.”  
  
“You’re always talking about hope. You sound like him. You’re unmistakably identical.”  
  
“I don’t know who you’re talking about, but if someone as worthless as me reminds you of some other person… they must be extremely unlucky.” Komaeda already had a feeling, but he pretended at playing oblivious. He thought he was good at that at least, at pretending to be a nobody, to know know. He did not want to be reminded, of that other boy who shined so brilliantly, so easily, in the way he struggled to do but could not. Even though they had the same talent, somehow his was much more worthless.  
  
“Naegi-kun.” But Kyoko Kirigri was a cold and analytical one, completely ruthless like the justice her talent served. “The nature of your hope is different though, Naegi’s is a gentle hope that embraces everyone your hope just… devours… everything.”

“Perhaps, if I had a life with a sister, and two parents, and classmates, my hope would be soft and kind like his, rather than a brilliant light that burns others that I only want to touch.” Nagito said, softly, almost wishing Kirigiri could not hear him. If he were being less honest, he would pretend to worship Makoto Naegi, to obviously say that he is superior and his luck is much better, that he is somebody beloved by hope. However, he was too raw at the moment, too agitated from his earlier conversations with Hinata and Kumagawa.  
  
“So, you mean to say it’s just a case of circumstances? The world was harsher on you, so you’re harsher than Naegi-kun in return. I’m not sure it’s that simple though. In fact, I think it’s intrinsically who both of you are as people. If you had a happy life, I’m sure you’d still be unsatisfied, whereas even in the unhappiest of circumstances Makoto would rise above them and still encourage and believe in others.”  
  
“Of course… I’ve already told you, again and again. That my internal qualities are all rotten.” Komaeda did not seem fazed. He reacted to this with a smile like always, closing his eyes catlike.  
  
Kyoko merely shrugged and started to walk away. “If you’re already aware of that, then please act with more self awareness in the future.”  
  
Komaeda did not bother to go after her. He leaned back against the tree and let his back drag against it, feebly trying to stand up, until he was sitting clutching his own knees and burying his head within them. Kirigiri said the words that he had always known, but was terrified to be told. She said them so easily, and with such clarity. Komaeda wondered for a moment if Junko would have been able to say something that so quickly denied his entire existence.  
  
Alone, pathetically, embarrassingly, he simply sat there. He could not even bring himself to cry, because he did not consider himself somebody worth crying over. He simply sat there, feeling empty. Whatever small warmth he had felt from Hinata earlier drained out of him, and he realized how cold he felt.

 

 ♛

 

HItoyoshi Zenkichi approached Kumagawa from behind, ready to beat him into the sand for what he had done, during the trial, and to Komaeda later. He was entirely convinced Kumagawa had reverted back to his former self, and would fight him again and again if need be until he knocked some sense into the other.  
  
What he saw though was Kumagawa gripping his head, and trembling from behind. There was a terrible weakness in the way his shoulders shook. When he heard Kumagawa talking, with nobody around.

『No, no, no… that’s not it. I really do care...』

『I don’t have a choice.』

『I don’t know what else to do.』

『I tried… I tried more than I’ve ever tried at anything in my life.』  
  
Hitoyoshi Zenkichi hesitated in that moment. All the anger he felt towards the other boy vanished in an instant. He had never once considered Kumagawa to be his friend like Akune, and Mogana. He was just another enemy that Medaka wanted to save. Yet, in that moment he reached out towards the other. “Kumagawa, what happened to you?”

『Hmm… Oh, it’s just Zenkichi-chan. For a moment I thought it was somebody that mattered.』Kumagawa swiveled his head to look around at the other boy, but his eyes were distant, elsewhere. Even though his entire being had been racked with pain a moment ago, in an instant it disappeared. Kumagawa was as pleasant, and cheerful as always, he gave Zenkichi a smile.  
  
“Dude, take this seriously. Nobody on the island wants you to be hurting all on your own.”

『Are you sure about that? I keep hearing it over and over again, how I’m untalented trash who doesn’t belong here.』  
  
“Tell me what’s wrong.”

『I thought you hated me.』  
  
“...”  
  
Kumagawa sighed, but his smile stayed in place. 『Just look after Nagito-chan, okay? He really will die, if you’re not careful.』

“Tch…” Zenkichi grit his teeth hard. Perhaps if he were muzzled like a dog, he might have an easier life. However, he was the kind to ferociously bark out whatever came to mind the moment it did. “I thought you had changed, I was all worried, but really you’re the same guy as ever. You’re a bastard one moment, and a nice guy the next, and you’re impossible to udnerstand!”

『Really? Am I that hard to understand? I always thought i was simple minded, like a fool.』He straightened up and turned around flashing the other a smile as he poked the round part of his cheek with a finger. 『At least I’m a cute fool.』  
  
“If you’re so easy to understand then why don’t you just explain what you want straightforwardly for once. Talk about it. I’ll listen to you, even though I hate you.”

『Ah, then sorry you have to talk to somebody you hate. 』Kumagawa said, an excited smile spreading across his face. 『I hope I don’t sound like I’m weird, but talking to you feels so exciting, like a dream or something Zenkichi-chan.』  
  
“What are you talking about? I’m just a normal guy. I’m not extraordinary like Medaka-chan or anything.”

『Not sure I get what you’re saying… To me living a normal life like yours would be...』  
  
Zenkichi scratched at the back of his neck. “Ikusaba talked to me you know. You’re making her concerned, she said you were acting a little too cheerful lately.”

『Yeah, I guess in a way I have been, but I can’t help it. It’s fun to be alive. I know what I want to do now, and it feels great to finally have a purpose. All my life I was just going with the flow, which was fine I guess but I can’t go on doing that.』Kumagawa as he spoke, slowly built momentum. Zenkichi in the past had watched him several times slip into manic states of ecstasy, he could smile like an angel while devilishly tearing someone down. Yet, this was a bit different. It was as if something had cracked in his being. It was as if water was leaking through the cracks, emptying him out.  
  
“So, is that why you’re messing with the killing game?”

『You know about that? I just want things to go back to the way they were. I want the killing game to stop just like everybody else. Then things on this island could be perfect, like it used to be at our school, that’s all. I want to do.』  
  
“Messing with the killing game is wrong. I don’t get why… why Komaeda would even want something so horrible to continue.”

Kumagawa tilted his head, at an angle that looked like his neck might break.『No, no, you’re wrong Nagito-chan doens’t want the killing game to continue, he wants a brilliant end for it. It’s kind of like when Medaka-chan used to go out seeking fights, he wants a conflict to happen but then a happy ending where everybody is saved. I’m not so picky though… I just want things to go back to the way they were. Medaka-chan too, she should just go back to the way she was.』  
  
“N… no. That’s no good. Medaka-chan needs to grow and develop as a person just like everybody else, we can’t force her to go back to her old unhealthy self.”

『Think about it. If the old Medaka-chan was here, the killing game wouldn’t continue. Even if she had to become a tyrant, she’d force everybody on the island to live in peace. We’d all be saved. That’s what I want… if I could just make Medaka-chan snap back to her old self, and have her make the same promise to Junko that she would stop her suicide that she made to Ajimu then everything would be fine.』  
  
“But that’s wrong… we can’t force that all on Medaka-chan she’s just a girl.”

『I know it’s wrong, but I’m doing it for all the right reasons.』Kumagawa always forced a smile to deal with the pain, but this was the first time to Zenkichi that the boy’s smile looked entirely empty. Not just his smile, but his eyes as well. It was like somebody had scooped them out with melonballers. 『I finally have an ideal that I want, just like everybody else. Isn’t that a good thing, I don’t get it?』

“What are you going to do? When Medaka-chan finds out what you’re planning?”

『Well, we’re going to fight of course. I mean, it’s my fault her sister died after all it only makes sense she would come after me. I’m sure, the pain of losing things will make her want to protect everyone again.』

“How can you be so casual about that? That’s insane? You’re insane.”

Kumagawa held his hands up in front fo his face defensively.『You’re overreacting, Zenkichi-chan. I’m perfectly sane.』  
  
“No, you’re not! Why are you doing this? Is it because you think Ajimu’s manipulating things from behind the scenes like before? Well guess what you’re being manipulated. Can’t you see, Junko’s using you, how can you trust her?”

『You’ve got it all wrong, with Junko and I. I can use her, and she can use me.  That’s all it is. Don’t take this the wrong way but you shouldn’t talk about Junko and I. You have no idea how strong the bond is between her and I.』  
  
“Don’t even give me that high schooler crap!”

『Ehhhh??? But we are high schoolers. The threads that tie her and I together, got so twisted we can’t untangle them anymore. So instead, the only thing to do is burn them and start all over from scratch. 』Even though what he said was comical, ridiculous, he said it in the most serious of ways. For a moment, even Zenkichi could see them. The strings that he talked about, tied up all around him. They wrapped themselves tightly around Kumagawa’s neck, his fingers, pulling him from every angle, threatening to tear him apart. Kumagawa just wanted to keep it all together. More broken than anybody else, yet he tried so hard not to fall apart.

“Why are you talking about her like that?”

『Huh?』  
  
“It’s like you’re afraid… so you’re talking about her so distantly.”

『Well, Junko is really scary you know.』

“It’s like you’re afraid to be loved, like you’re hiding something from her.” Zenkichi got closer to him. He looked into the pools of Kumagawa’s eyes. Kumagawa’s watery eyes, had a terrible quality of only reflecting back what you wanted to see, it was almost impossible discern his true nature from them. Yet, as he said that he could see Kumagawa obviously flinch.

『...』  
  
“You’re afraid to tell her, that you don’t actually care that much about despair, aren’t you?”

Kumagawa Misogi, had been in despair his entire life. Yet, a minus was not an Ultimate Despair. Despite the fact that laughing in the face of despair was how he continued to survive, to him, always losing was the expected result. He endured tragedy, after tragedy, after tragedy. Tired of despairing, he played the part of the fool on stage, and laughed. That was the it though, that was the emotion Zenkichi could finally read in Kumagawa’s eyes. He seemed tired. 『You couldn’t possibly understand...』  
  
“Who gives a fuck if I can’t understand? Of course our life circumstances are different, but I’m not going to understand you if you always go off on your own doing whatever you-”

『Zenkichi-chan. It’s not like I’m saying that because you had a happy life you can’t understand me. For instance, if I was given the choice right now to go back in time and change things so that Medaka-chan became my childhood friend, who always stood by my side and made me happy… I wouldn’t… because this path I’m on right now, even if it was painful, the worst life possible… it’s what led me to meeting Junko. I don’t regret it.』  
  
“So what… She’s your reason to live?”

『Haha, I use Junko but there’s no way I could use her like that. I was always convinced I was fundamentally broken, and there was nobody who could stand to be around me, because of things I could not control. I mean… maybe I’m a bastard now, but was I really that bad when I was just four years old? I was a kid you know… and your mom looked at me like I was a monster. Nobody ever treated me like a kid. 』Kumagawa suddenly forced a smile. 『But, even somebody like me was able to find Junko. That means I’m not broken, right? Or maybe we’re just broken in the same way… I dunno.』

Hitoyoshi Zenkichi, sighed. His entire body, suddenly became heavy with that emotion. “I guess we’re the same after all. I don’t know either…”

 

 ♛

 

“Somehow, I knew you were going to wander off. Well, I guess it’s my fault. Sorry, while I was at the store I got harassed into buying fireworks too.”

“Hmmm?” Komaeda had stopped noticing the passage of time, dissociating himself so much from his rotten self. Yet, suddenly Hinata appeared before him and the world snapped back into focus. He wondered what it was about that boy that anchored him, that grounded him so much. It was a quality that had nothing to do with talent, so Komaeda should not have cared about it but he could not help but think on it endlessly.  
  
“Kurokami and them all gathered up, and they’re setting off fireworks. They said everybody’s invited, even you.”  
  
“Kurokami Medaka would cordially extend an invitation to somebody like me? As expected of an ultimate, she’s in touch with the common people. Nevertheless… I know my place, and I’m not reckless enough to go along with her. Since it’s going to be a touching scene a worthless thing like me would be a nuisance, right?”  
  
“A touching scene?” Hinata said, sighing as he let his strong and shapely shoulders relax and sat down right next to the boy, leaning against the same palm tree. As they suddenly became so close like this, Komaeda became acutely aware that their shoulders were touching. He became aware of several other things as well. Hinata’s features were rough and boyish, in contrast to his feminine ones. Not only that, his hair was coarse, and knotted up thickly. If he ran his hand through it, or pulled on it, it would probably resist him a lot.

Hinata was not wearing any pants, still as it was the middle of the night so his legs were showing. His legs were strong as well, much more shapely than you would expect them to be for somebody so plain looking. The t shirt he had hastily thrown on, exposed both of his shoulders and showed the muscles of his arms. Even his stomach, was shown just a little bit when his shirt was lifted by the odd way Hinata was sitting exposing the corner of his well chiseled stomach muscles, and the line which dipped into his boxer shorts.  
  
Komaeda observed all of these things, but what he felt was not appreciation or admiration, but rather self hatred. He hated being next to Hinata-kun. An ugly thing like him, would only stain something as beautiful as Hinata. “Hinata-kun I’m jealous of you. You don’t know what your talent is, but you’re showing no distress, and you’re opening up to everyone. That must mean you have a lot of confidence in yourself, right?”  
  
“Are you being sarcastic? I’m like constantly distressed it’s kind of my thing by now.”  
  
“Nope, not at all. But still I do wonder what sort of talent you really do possess. Since you’ve dragged it out this long already, I’m sure it must be an appropriately magnificent talent.”  
  
“Who knows, it’s not like it’s my fault for dragging this out.”  
  
“You’re right. Ah, I’m sorry for stopping you for such a foolish conversation.”  
  
“Is that what you really want to say to me?” Hinata said aloud, thoughtlessly like he always did. Komaeda appreciated that side of him though, because he had such a hard time understanding others. He preferred it when people were straightforward with him, even if it was just hatred. Hinata was a painfully straightforward person. In fact, it hurt a lot, and often being around Hinata. Komaeda felt a strange kind of pain in his chest, because he could never be as straightforward as Hinata was, and he could never say what he wanted to say, how he really felt. He could blame it on his brain if he wanted, but it was probably just like Kyoko said. It was probably just some internal way in which he was broken, because he was a coward. She had talent after all, she would know better than him. He did not even know anything about himself.  
  
He wanted to say something to Hinata, but when he opened his mouth words would not form. The saliva dried from underneath his tongue, and he felt his throat crack. He wanted to grab onto the other and beg him to stay, sure it was desperate and pathetic but he was a pathetic person so it should have been easy for him. When he tried that, he was unable to say a single thing, to lift a single finger.  
  
Yet, Hinata simply stayed next to him. He always stayed. He crossed his legs, looking like he wanted to get comfortable. “Mmm, fireworks are annoying anyway. I don’t like being bossed around and treated like everybody’s errand boy either.”  
  
_He’s making excuses to stay… I shouldn’t let him. Because he deserves to be around everybody else. Hinata-kun, much more than myself, deserves to bask in their radiance, to share in their warmth._ _  
_ _I’m so cold._ _  
_ _If I’m around him. I’ll drain all the warmth out of him. He’ll just die.. Because I’m a shinigami._  
  
Komaeda reached up towards his forehead, gripping it. “No, the reason doesn’t matter. I just want to feel grateful for this good luck. I want to be thankful that there’s someone who’s interested in trash like me.”  
  
“The reason I’m here is because I wanted to hear the rest of what you were going to say earlier… about always having death in your life.”  
  
_Oh._ _  
_ _Just that._ _  
_ _That was easy to explain._ _  
_ Hinata might pity him, he might want to stay around him just because he felt sorry for him. That made him feel good. Because Kyoko had told him it was his fault, Hinata might be softer. No, he could not be that selfish.  
  
“I don’t mind. It’s no big deal anyway. Like I said before, my parents are dead. Since I had no other relatives, ‘it’ took direct action against me.”

“What does ‘it’ mean?”  
  
“My diagnosis. Stage 3 malignant lymphona, and to top it off… it’s accompanied by frontotemporal dementia.”  
  
“...HUh?”  
  
“At least, that’s how it was two years ago. It’s a big different since then, Kumagawa-kun told me the disease should stop advancing at least, and my diagnosis got changed.”  
  
“Y-you’re kidding me, right?”  
  
“It’s no big deal. My life expectatncy was between half a year to a year, but I got to lie for two whole years after that. That’s lucky, right? There are people diagnosed with my condition and all they do is waste away. Right after I was diagnosed, I was accepted into Hope’s Peak Academy. I believed that balanced things out… but now these killings are occuring, you know? As soon as my life entered the final round, it quickly became a roller coaster ride! But it’s going to be all right… No matter the bad luck that happens, good luck always lies just beyond it! The reason I’m alive is because I believe there’s hope… no matter what. Do you understand me now, Hinata-kun?”

He had not meant to say all that. He did not want Hinata to sympathize with trash like him, after all. No matter what his reasons, all of the things he had done could not be forgiven. Kyoko had the right perspective he believed.

  
A person like Naegi Makoto would probably have taken his situation, and turned it into a positive thing without it seeming so forced. Forced… was he forcing this? No, he genuinely believed it. He wanted to believe in it.  
  
Why…  
Because he had kept living.  
He was meant to die, when his dog was taken from him, when his parents died, when he was kidnapped, when he was diagnosed with cancer, an existence like him that brought death around him like a shinigami should have died so many times earlier.  
The reason he kept living, he endured all this time.  
He had endured. Endured. Endured. Endured. Endured. Endured.  
He just wanted there to be a reason for it.  
That would make the pain more meaningful, or maybe it would just make more sense.

  
He had not meant to say so much, and even he at this point knew he should probably shut up when he saw the struggle on Hinata’s face, yet he kept talking. “Hinata-kun, you and I are a lot alike… That’s why you understand my feelings… I felt that from the start. I don’t feel the unique aura that exists in those who have talent from you… I only detect the scent of a iserable bystander. Just like me.”  
  
“I’m not miserable. I’m… different from you.”

At that moment, Komaeda became scared again. _I’m different from you._ Was that a rejection? Even though he had tried so hard to explain himself, so much that all the words came tumbling out. He knew it was embarrassing, he knew his emotions were sticky, and unpleasant. Even he did not want to feel that way. Yet, he had thought for a moment that Hajime might understand him. If there was anybody, it was the boy that looked at him with such beautiful eyes.  
  
Oh, therein lied the rub.  
Beautiful eyes only wanted to look upon beautiful things.  
They could not help but fail to understand him. To  show fear like that.  
He should not be seen by those eyes, he should not reflect in them.  
  
“It seems there’s no on who’s willing to inherit my soul. I have no parents, no siblings, no relatives… Not even friends or acquaintances. Because of my self-righteous thoughts, everyone distanced themselves for me.” _I see it now. The difference between Naegi-kun and I. I’ve tried to grasp it for long but now I understand it. Naegi-kun’s hope is for others. Mine is only for myself._ “I was fine with that while I was still healthy, but it’s quite lonely to die alone. Now that I’m on the verge of death, I’ve finally realized what I wanted all along; Somebody’s love.”  
  
“Y-you…” Hinata’s face turned red. Komaeda could feel Hinata’s heart beating as he leaned against him, almost as fast as his own, but that was probably just Hinata feeling embarrassed at Komaeda’s terrible display.  
  
He titled his head and smiled with his mouth wide open like he was a character in a comedy duo, delivering the punch line of a joke, with a sleepy expression on his face. “...I read a book about something like that the other day.”  
  
“Huh…?”  
  
“It was right of me to cite a book written for the masses. Thanks to that, I was able to gain your empathy. Yes, I’m satisfied now>”  
  
“You… were lying… just now…? No everything you’ve said up to this point, all of it… it was all lies?”  
  
“Have you finally decided to kill me? If you want, I’ll prepare the perfect crime. Then you can kill me… and you’ll be saved. Hahahahaahahaha! Let’s commit the crime together so despair can become the foundation of hope! You can do it, I believe in you! After all you tolerated someone like me this entire time!  I’m sure a bright hope is sleeping inside you, too!” Komaeda laughed, he would do anything in that moment, he would bite, kick, and scream. Whatever it took to drive Hinata’s eyes away from him. To disappear from his sight. Because… when Hinata looked at him he truly felt like a person. He truly felt seen, for the first time. It was like he became someone the moment he was looked at. But that was too painful. He’d rather go back to being the laughing mad Komaeda, the one who drove everybody to hate him in the first class trial.

Hinata did not flinch at this display. He watched, his quiet eyes perplexed, his brow knitting. To Komaeda, his face was entirely unreadable. “Nagito… just tell me one thing, and be honest. If you didn’t have your Ultimate Luck… what would you be doing instead?”  
  
“I… I guess I would probably be living a peaceful life… A boring, normal life with no hope and no despair.”  
  
Suddenly, in that moment Hinata leaned forward and drew out the bandages from his convenience store bag. He dipped a cloth in disinfectant, and looked to closely study Komaeda’s face for a moment. Then, he dabbed it on the part of his cheek where the swelling was the worst.  
  
“What are you doing?”  
  
“I already told you I was going to clean up your face. If you had just waited around instead of wandering off, we could have done this earlier.”  Hinata said, as he then dipped his own fingers in ointment, and began to spread it on the parts of Komaeda’s face that had been messed up by Kumagawa’s foot. Hinata worked quietly, without saying anything else, and Komaeda could only look at the intensity in the other boy’s expression and begin to blush. Hinata leaned in close, he brushed a thumb over Komaeda’s lip. “Your lip’s all swollen.”  
  
“It’s no big deal. You’ve already treated me with much more kindness than I deserve so…”

  
“Does it hurt?”  
  
“What does it matter?”  
  
“Your lips are so thin, pale and soft looking just like a girls. It looks painful, all swollen up…” Hinata said, as he leaned forward without thinking and planted a kiss right on Komaeda’s lips. It was the last possible result Komaeda expected. Enoshima Junko was convinced, that despair and the unexpected were intertwined, and Komaeda almost believed her in that moment. The emotions he felt, anxiety, tension, fear, he could only stare open eyed as Hinata kissed him. Then, the boy finally pulled back.  
  
Komaeda gasped, breathless. “Don’t… forget… please…”  
  
“Huh? Just tell me and I won’t forget, I’m not that dumb.”

Perhaps.  
Maybe.  
He should.  
  
“From the bottom of my heart… I am truly… in… love… with the hope that sleeps inside you.” He was a coward after all. He could not say his real feelings, even after Kumagawa had pushed him so forcefully to realize them.  
  
“Nagito… there’s nothing inside of me.” Hinata Hajime said, and then he leaned his head against the other boy’s shoulder watching with dull eyes as the fireworks went off in the background.  
  
Komaeda had no idea what that meant, or even if Hinata had understood what he meant by his own confession. All he could do was listen, to the sounds of his heart racing, and the gentle sounds of Hinata’s slow breathing.

 

 ♛

  
Kumagawa was walking along the beach, his hands in the pockets of his black uniform. It was quite late, but he had been avoiding sleeping lately anyway to avoid that shadow in the back of his head whenever possible.  
  
He heard an explosion, and worrying Komaeda was up to something turned his head to look at the horizon. It was nothing more than a harmless colorful firework, lighting up the sky. Kumagawa’s dark face, reflected the fireworks light for a moment, like the moon might reflect the light of the sun.  
  
That was when he caught it. Enoshima Junko was standing right there, silently, and out of breath. 『Junko? Were you looking for me? Were you running?』  
  
“...”

『This is the part where you go ‘Why would I be looking for somebody like you?’ I can’t act out both parts of our routine you know, one of us needs to be the tsundere.』  
  
“...”

『Fine, I’ll be the tsundere. It’s not like I wanted to talk to you anyway, i-idiot.』  
  
“Misogi, will you give me a second, I don’t really do the whole sweating thing…” She said as she took another shaky step forward. “Hey, let me lean against you.”

It was an order, but Kumagawa was surprised she even announced her plans ahead of time. Usually she just manipulated people into standing where she needed them to stand. She took a few more shaky steps forward, and then rested her head against his chest. “It’s way too flat and bony, not soft like my chest at all.”

『Well, I am a boy.』

“It’s not comfortable leaning against you at all. You’re way too skinny, and you’re shorter than me. It’s awkward too, since you always freeze up every time I get near you. You don’t have any confidence at all, and I can hear your heart beating way too fast. I know a girl’s never touched you before, but you don’t have to be so obvious about it.”

Kumagawa simply endured Junko’s verbal tongue lashing, as he was trying to work out the conundrum of what he was supposed to do with his hands in this moment. They only hovered behind her. He did not know where to grab her, and how, and a bad guess could mean an execution on his part.『You know it’s impossible to tell when you’re just being mean because you feel like it and you’re a bad person, or you’re just being mean because something’s wrong.』  
  
“It’s not my fault you’re so bad at reading others.”

『You could be a little less confusing.』  
  
“It’s true, but I choose to act this way. Sadly, no matter how much you wish to be less stupid that won’t make it so.”

『And then this is the part of the conversation where Junko gets bored of insulting me and tells me what’s wrong.』  
  
“Anyway I’m bored of insulting you it’s way too easy-Hey!” Junko, with her face buried in his chest told him of everything that happened, with a great storyeller’s touch. She heard his heart shutter when she spoke of hurting Mukuro, and she enjoyed that. Mukuro said that Kumagawa was like a family member, right?  
  
Junko saw Kumagawa as so unconnected to everything, it made sense that he would desire a family. Well, even if that was what he wanted, even if that was what would make them both happy Junko would not let him disappear just like that. As right now, the person she leaned against, that skinny, nothing of a boy was her place of belonging.  
  
She watched his features with her eyes. Usually, it was boring to observe someone so closely. Yet, she was enraptured with him, his every tiny twitch and movement made her heartbeat spike. The way that if she so much as leaned against him a little more, he started to back away out of reflex alone he was so unused to being touched. The way he was so obviously touch starved, wanting to embrace her with those rough hands of his but forced himself to hold back. The way his eyes kept looking at her, and then swelling up with emotion and looking away. As if his affection was far too much for hi to handle in anything but small doses. She was close enough, when she looked up she could see a faded scar on his cheek. She had given it to him the first day they met, when she clawed at him. He refused to erase it. She liked that, that there was some permanent mark she left on him.  
  
She had drawn his face so many times in Ryoko’s memory notebook. An embarrassing amount really. Yet, each face was subtly different. That was how she felt about this person’s face, it was constantly changing in small ways. It never stayed the same face twice. Kumagawa constantly evolved, and changed, constantly grew more twisted, it was the only way he knew how to survive.  
  
He was a river, never the same person twice.  
  
She was an island. No man was an island, but she was not a man. All alone.

Rivers ran out to the ocean though, so perhaps they could find each other and… she knew she was dragging this metaphor out too long. She just wanted to keep feeling the way she did in this moment. The unease, the emptiness that Kurokami revealed to her, and Mukuro was not able to make go away… it’s not like it went away now either, but it was less cold.  
  
There was somebody in front of her, enduring this emptiness with her. Their emotions were both so complicated, and both of them were so connected in a myriad of ways. As much as Kumagawa proclaimed his love for her, he resented her as well. He envied her. He thought she was spoiled. He had told her all of this as much. She had hurt him time and time again, and Kumagawa did not enjoy pain as much as he pretended to. She did not hurt him for any good reason either, just selfish ones. Every time she did, their relationship fractured, but then something strange happened… it knitted itself back together.  
  
Because of that, there were so many strings. There was an innumerable amount of strings connecting them together. So many, that she was sure she would not have been able to count them even with super high school level analysis. As many as there were stars in the sky, but she liked it that way. It meant it could never become unraveled. That it would never be neat and tidy.  
  
Kumagawa almost never did what she wanted, or acted in ways that she wanted. Yet, it was because of that she had finally started to desire for something. Before, she obtained everything she wanted, the instant she wanted it. She had lived her entire life without knowing desire.  
  
Even if it was a mistake, for the first time she began to desire something when she looked at him.  
  
Yet, at the same time she felt scared.  
She wanted him, but if she got him she would no longer know the feeling of wanting him.  
This newfound sensation would be entirely gone to her. It would disappear forever.  
He would cease to be special.  
  
Kumagawa interrupted her internal monologue rather rudely. 『Junko, can you stop switching between ‘Atashi’, ‘Watakushi’, and ‘Boku’ as you’re speaking. It’s giving me a headache.』

“Eh? You want me to just pick one and stick with it? But I don’t want to, Misogi. A leapord doesn’t want its spots changed. Even if you ask e to change the personality I’m born with, I can’t.”

『You literally change your personality all the time. 』

“The world is filled with all kinds of people. That’s why you need to use different pronouns in front of different people… but I’m a selifsh person who doesn’t care about the rest of the world, right? So, the entire human race is just you and me then. That’s right, I have to show every single personality in front of you, be it my preferred facade or my real self.”

『So she admits she changes her personality.』  
  
“Misogi, listen! I said something really deep.”

『Are you sure, that sounded like nonsense to me. Why are you complaining about what Medaka-chan said anyway, it sounds like you deserved it for trying to poke at a sleeping bear.』  
  
“But bears are so cute and adorable? Why wouldn’t I poke at a sleeping one. They're especially adorable when they wake up and maul people with their claws.” Junko whined against his chest. “Medaka-chan was sooooo mean to me, and now I'm in a bad mood. Take my side, and call her a bitch behind her back, Misogi.”

『You should enjoy being in a bad mood then, despair is supposed to be your thing after all.』  
  
“It’s not a good kind of despair, this is just an empty kind of despair.”

『I feel like we spend too much time trying to distinguish between the different types of despair, maybe we should just pick another word that’s more flexible.』

  
“We have to keep talking about despair, it’s like the theme you know?”

『Theme? There’s no theme, Junko. Remember, life is a meaningless maelstrom of chaos, and any kind of pattern we perceive from it is nothing more than our own delusions grasping at importance where there is none.』

  
“Don’t try to sweet talk me, this isn’t the bedroom.”

『Junko, I’m not going to stroke your ego because you beat up your sister and it didn’t make you feel good like you should. Maybe I should go talk to Mukuro-chan instead- 』  
  
“Don’t!” She said it so suddenly, so quickly, that Kumagawa froze. Her head had been resting against him, but now finally she wrapped his arms around his skinny hips, locking her hands behind him. Her fingers dug into the divets of his body. “Medaka-chan could have at least been a little more empathic you know. Maybe it’s not a problem that a good person would face but… to me it’s real you know. Being so desperate to feel something, that you wouldn’t mind tearing apart your own sister, because that one moment right before she dies is the closest you’re going to feel to her, that it’s the only way you’re going to feel any warmth at all.”  
  
Kumagawa did not wrap his arms around her, but he did look up and reach towards the moon.

『I know what it’s like… that feeling of having what you want always out of reach. I always sympathized with you about that, Junko. Even if the whole world rejects you, I’ll try to understand you.』She had just described all the painful things she had done, and yet he smiled at her. Honest, Kumagawa Misogi was painfully honest. Even though he was a liar, the things he hated about her, and the things he liked, he was always honest. His eyes were like mirrors, and it was hard to discern what was behind them but Junko liked that quality of his eyes.  
  
She could see herself reflecting in his eyes. She could see herself, taking up the whole of his eyes. Perhaps because of what parts of her reflected in him, she felt like more of a person when he looked at her. She had no desire to be a person really. It was curious though, a strange curiosity of a feeling.  
  
“Why are you always smiling? Only insane people smile all the time.”

『I’m smiling because you’re here..』  
  
“That just adds to my point about you being insane. People smile to hide things. Pain, sadness.” His smile was pissing her off, for some reason. Perhaps because she was being taunted with what she knew was hidden.  
  
Kumagawa was keeping a secret from her. He even went so far as to erase her memory to hide it. Perhaps Mukuro was right and she was developing a blind spot in regards to him, but that was an affront to her pride. She wanted to see Kumagawa miserable with the truth sickness, and she had missed out on all of it.  
  
Even though he promised. That he would share his despair with her. “Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong with you? You said you wanted to share with me.”

『I… I do...』

His face was unreadable to her.  
No, she recognized that look it was miserable.  
Miserable with love for her.

Because she felt it, because it swelled up within her, because it was just an impulse, right at that moment she spoke her true feelings.  
  
“Misogi I love…”  
  
Because she was a coward, she stopped herself.  
  
“Your despair… so stop hiding from me.”

However, Kumagawa, oblivious, big stupid idiot Kumagawa suddenly tilted his head. 『You know… for a confession, that was kind of lame. 』

“........................................................................................................................................................................what?”

『I mean that was even lamer than your other confessions before.』  
  
“You know those were confessions, and you pretended you didn’t.”

『It’s not like you meant it.』  
  
“You… you really are stuck in your own head, aren’t you? You truly only think for yourself.”

『It’s not like you’re any better.』  
  
“I really hate that about you.” She bared her fangs at him, the picture of utter viciousness. Her arms wrapped around him so tightly, as if she wanted to snap him in half. “I hate you, because you’re arrogant, you’re desperate, clumsy, uncool, needy, clingy, you think you know me, you think you can be important to me, it’s so irritating, it’s foolish, utterly foolish, you utter fool, ever since I met you my life has been nothing more than a joke. You’re nothing more than a fool. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate how much I love you.”

In that moment nothing mattered. Everything outside the island disappeared, if he had all fiction he would have erased the rest of the world without a hint of regret. With those words, every single page of manga he had ever read was rendered meaningless. He had no reason to want to escape from the world anymore.  
  
He had endured, endured, endured, endured, the world in the with the faintests of hopes that one day he would hear those words. Kumagawa did not let her say anymore, still hunched over, still with his hips in her hands he wrapped his arms around her finally, pulling her into a tight embrace.  
  
Junko seemed a bit surprised, but then rested her head against him again, and sighed as if to say finally. Her words stripped him of restraint. The world consisted of the two of them, to him they were the only two real people on this island.

“Ever since I met you… things got.. Slightly more interesting...”

『Haha, be careful, trying to say positive things just makes you sound broken.』

“Shut it, I’m not that ungrateful. The bratty teenage thing is just an act, you know.”

『Nah, I think you’re just genuinely like that.』He had been stabbed, shot, had his eyeballs scooped out, been tortured, died in a pit of snakes, died because Junko crushed his head, gotten beaten half to death by Medaka, was stabbed by iron beams, was stabbed by Komaeda ten times, had his arm cut off, gotten stabbed by Mukuro on accident with a broken iv stand, ever since meeting her. Yet, he did not regret meeting her. She did not regret meeting him.  
  
In the end she would probably throw him away. It would all be meaningless, it would amount to nothing and yet…  
  
Kumagawa leaned his head against her, and looked on the horizon. Small fireworks were being set off by their friends. Medaka had even invited him, but he did not feel like going.

“Do you remember, the time we went to go see fireworks together? Those empty celebrations of the annual yearly reminder of the status queue, as we continue our pointless march forwards towards nothingness. Another year has gone by, just as unexciting as the last. I really don't get the point of festivals like that.”

『Hmm.』  
  
“I really wanted to kiss you that day. It was pretty despair inducing when I didn't.”

『Mmm.』  
  
“This time, just the thought of wanting so badly to kiss a loser like you in the stupid loser mouth fills me with despair. ”

She leaned up, and kissed him. Giddy at the moment, giggling with that distinct laugh of hers into the kiss. Kumagawa slowly let his eyes close. His thoughts were elsewhere, he had forgotten about the rest of the world.

 _So this is it._ _  
_ _This is what happiness tastes like._ _  
  
_


	30. Smile at Despair in the Name of Laughter (2 - Heart Pounding x Heart Stopping)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I like Zero Escape.  
> Another Monogatari reference this chapter. I've been catching up with the books lately, I'm thinking of throwing in some Monogatari characters and making it a general NisioIsin crossover eventually. Crossover all the things.

Kumagawa woke up, tilting his head back. The blurry world in front of him slowly came into view. He stretched his head back all the way to gaze up at an unfamiliar white ceiling. When he had stretched his neck back as far as he could, he heard the jingle of chains. Suddenly, he leaned forward as much as he could, and realized what was restricting him. He had fallen asleep on a chair, which was not that peculiar as Kumagawa had spent most of his life wandering from place to place homeless and therefore could fall asleep practically anywhere. However, he was tied to the chair by virtue of a pair of handcuffs that locked his arms behind the back of the chair.

_I apologize for this jarring, and unexpected development but it appears I have been kidnapped. This happened two days into the fourth week of the killing game. No, it’s possible another day has passed._

He tested the handcuffs to see if they were real, pulling on the chains with all his strength, which was not much causing them to rattle further. He  pulled them against the back of the chair, until the metallic edges of the handcuffs dug into his wrists.

_Normally, I would leave the narration up to those  Hajime-chan as somebody like me could never become a main character. I’m just a person entirely lacking in qualities an audience could sympathize with._

A single beam of light appeared in the impossibly dark room. Kumagawa noticed all around his chair there were a pile of stuffed animals, like the kind you might find stacked on a teenage girls bed. He could not dwell on that though, as immediately he saw a single foot step into the room, and heard the familiar click of a heel. The person whose silhouette was completely illuminated by that light, looked like both an angel and a devil to him.

_But, at this moment I’m the only one available. You don’t dislike this adorable sweetness right?_

He cracked open one eye and half a smile at her appearance. He could not help but smile, even at a time like this. Enoshima Junko leaned forward, a pink apron over her normal clothes, her hair tied back in a single pony tail rather than her usual pigtails giving her the look of a slightly more mature beauty, rather than the bra she was at heart. “Oh, you’re awake, Misogi.”  
  
Enoshima Junko was a brilliant enough source of light on her own, but she turned on a flashlight that had probably been bought from the convenience store that sold practically everything. “I was worried you might have died.” She set it on the ground between them, and straightened up once more girlishly holding her arms crossed behind her back. “Are you all right? Does the back of your head hurt?”

『Hmmm? Are you sure you should be concerned about my head, it’s hopeless since I’m a permanent high school dunce anyway. I’m pretty sure wha got me is, poisoned lipstick….』 His lip twitched as he felt a phantom tingle of the last kiss they shared. His last real memory. When he licked his lips to confirm, Junko’s red lipstick was still smeared over his own lips. 『So, do you want to remove these handcuffs?』

“No.”  
  
『I knew she was going to say that!』Kumagawa let his head fall forward in an exaggerated reaction. Even if he was currently chained up, that was no excuse not to properly fulfill the other end of their comedy duo. 『So, you’re the one who chained me up then.』

She stopped to tap her far too bright red lips with a single finger, playing up the innocent look on her face perfectly.  “I see. Interesting theory, assuming you have proof. ”

『You’re the only one who cares enough about me to chain me up.』

“You’ve got a pretty strange definition of affection there. We should talk about that. Let’s start with how your mother treated you.”

『Says the girl who has an even stranger way of showing affection! No, let’s talk about why you chained me up. Is this a foreplay thing, or a Junko is mad about something and doesn’t know how to communicate like a normal human being thing?』

“Oh, ew! Are you one of those creeps that gets off on girls abusing you?” Junko took a step back, putting her hand over her mouth as if she was genuinely unnerved by his presence.

『You’re the one who kidnapped me, why am I being called creepy? I'm tired of always being the victim I want a new character role.』  
  
“If I knew you were going to enjoy it this much, I would have never kidnapped you.” Junko raised her arms in front of her defensively, and curled her red tipped fingers as her mouth was held open in disgust. Kumagawa recognized that pose, it was the one Junko made when she was rejecting everything about the person in front of her.  
  
Kumagawa threw his head back and whined. 『Then just let me go already!』

Junko dropped her pose suddenly, letting her arms dangle at her side and looking at him with empty eyes.“No. No. I can never let you go. You're my most interesting thing."

Kumagawa changed tones just as quickly, keeping up with her. If he had one strength it was this, he was quite good at keeping up with the wild twists and conversational turns that Junko’s overclocked with no steering wheels and no brakes tended to take. She changed personality with no context, her conversations were directionless, meandering just like this metaphor, but he was a river after all. Rivers flowed in whatever direction, and whatever curves they needed to, taking the shape of the path already carved out for them. That formless quality of his came in handy in just this one aspect.『So, this is a Junko can't communicate because of her hyperactive brain thing, rather than a despair thing.』

“I wonder what kind of despair inducing life you must have led, to treat being kidnapped so casually. Your sensibilities as a human being really have been twisted beyond all recognition. I mean, isn’t it weird? Making casual conversation and just bantering like usual when you’re all chained up. What am I getting into, loving somebody so weird?”

『It’s not my fault! You’re the one sitting here talking to me, too!』  
  
“You’re right, they say it takes two to tango, a tantalizing despair filled tango. There’s no way I’d be this miserable if I didn’t have you here with me right now.”

『Awe, that’s almost sweet….』  
  
A new emotion flashed across her face, as Junko suddenly changed her mind again. At her whim, the topic of conversation changed again. “Anyway, right... I guess I'm getting bored of avoiding the subject of your kidnapping. What was it, it's on the tip of my tongue."   
  
『Tongue, huh?』Kumagawa shivered at the notion. Junko’s lips did look extra waxy at that moment, but that might have just been his narrative bias.  
  
For example, this following paragraph is written entirely from Kumagawa’s perspective and therefore might not be entirely representative of the reality, as the brain of a hormonal teenage boy might not properly convey the underlying horror of this situation. Junko approached him slowly and leaned over him. As she rolled her hips forward, he noticed how tightly her red skirt clung to her. He could see the outline of he curves of her hips. Curves that led to a perfectly round bottom, and the way she curved her body around him hitched her skirt up so slightly that he could see the smallest parts of her flesh peeking out from underneath the red folds of her skirt. Suddenly, his eyes focused forward. The divet between her neck and her shoulder was perfectly curved, and her skin looked soft enough he just wanted to rest his head on it. The collar of the black and white school uniform with the rolled up sleeves she always wore, hung loosely off of her thin, but shapely body. The entirety of her chest had been cut out, and left unbuttoned, which gave him a small peek at the bra she was wearing underneath. Black, with red dots, and the edges had a lacy frill that looked to be in the gothic lolita style. Which was an interesting color contrast to the all pink apron she was wearing that clung to her body just below her breasts. His eyes might have gotten lost there, between the fold of her perfectly round breasts if at that moment she did not put a single finger tipped with a red nail that poked his flesh slightly to his chin, and tip his chin back to look at her face. Junko’s face was a mask of thick mascara, and false blue eyes. Her makeup perfectly emphasized the curvature of her face, in truth her face was average looking just like his but she was able to use analysis to make herself look like quite the angel when she wanted to. Kumagawa could see himself reflecting, obsessively, taking up the entirety of the center of her eyes. She reached forward, her hands touching, grasping lightly at the sides of his face, before her fingers curled to caress his cheeks. “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you. You won’t die, because I'll protect you.”  
  
After that moment that was prolonged for a time far too long to be described in a single word, Kumagawa replied immediately with a flat expression.『I’d prefer to enjoy this conversation with no unnecessary evangelion references.』

“Oh, getting serious? You won’t waste your time talking to the ever famous Queen of Chatting, anymore? It’s like we’re in a saiyan battle, right?”

『If this were a saiyan battle I’d definitely lose.』  
  
She responded immediately, her face quickly becoming bored as she looked down on him. “You’d lose either way.”

『It’s true, but you don’t have to dismiss me outright that quickly! Hmmm, Junko, just how long are you planning to keep me here like this?』  
  
She immediately turned around dismissively. “That’s a minor issue.”

『What’s not minor?』He shouted in reply in a high pitched voice. She ignored him though, and started to work on the pot on the portable stove, mixing it with a soup ladel. As she worked, she hummed to herself. In between her hums, she would giggle unevenly, which overall produced a discordant melody that was probably only pleasing to Kumagawa’s ears. He closed his eyes, feeling at ease listening ot her.  
  
But then, he suddenly wasn’t. 『Junko, Juuuunko, Juuuuuunnkoooo.』  
  
“Gosh, you’re so needy. You should feel bad for annoying your captor so much.”

『I’m thirsty.』

"Ah, I can sympathize with that. I'm also a person who thirsts for despair."

『I’m not metaphorically thirsty I'm actually thirsty!』  
  
"Can nothing consume your desire for women? Even I the most beautiful among all women might not be able to satisfy you..."

『I mean water! Water! All this dry humor is making me thirsty. I can only keep up the sarcastic banter for so long, before my throat cracks and starts bleeding.』

  
"Are you thirsty.."  She had prepared several things, which seemed to be the reason why she was wearing that apron. Immediately, she grabbed a bottle out of a bag left on the floor. She quickly held the bottle out over his head. 

『Not to make the same joke three times in a row, but.. um, yes.』  
  
"But I'm going to drink it..." Then suddenly she turned the bottle back and drank all of its contents in front of him in a few seconds. She even made a show of carelessly throwing the bottle away like it had no value to her at all, though there were few things that had value to Enoshima.   
  
_She seems to be really enjoying this..._

She turned away from him again to start working on the things she had brought with her from the convenience store. 

『Junko, Juuuunkooo, Juuuuunkooooo』  
  
"I get I'm the object of your worship but you could try saying my name a little less."  
  


『Too egotistical what are you a queen?』  
  
"I'm your queen, what is it?" 

『Too petty to be a queen more like a princess. I'm starting to get hungry.』  
  
"If they don't have bread, let them eat cake!" 

『Too tyrannical!』  
  
"I don't have either bread or cake though, hmm perhaps starvation can serve as the next motive for you. Go behead someone for my sake."

『Junko, Juuuunko, Juuuuuunnkoooo.』

  
"If human beings are basically like dolls anyway they could at least act like dolls and not speak unless I gave them a voice." She said coldly, not turning back to him, but the fact that she even spoke back meant he had her attention again. Kumagawa knew that if Junko did not want to speak, nothing could make her, or she would snap at him in her Monokuma voice for awhile and pretend Junko was no longer occupying her body just to annoy him. 

『I’m bored.』  
  
“Ah, I can sympathize with that. I’m also a person who bores easily. Who would have predicted I would end up sympathizing with a person as lowly as you, you really are an unpredictable one, Misogi.”

『Wow, you get bored easily? I didn’t know about that side of you before. I guess it’s true after all, that you can’t know 100% of another person.』Kumagawa flipped the sarcasm off like a switch and began to beg again like an annoying child.  『Hey, hey, Junko, please. There are games on my monopad. Can you grab it for me, it’s still in my pocket. 』

“Sure.” She said, and her unusually helpful and immediate response made him immediately suspicious. She walked over to him again and reached into his pocket, and missed the obvious monopad and kept reaching forward, her fingers caressing the inside of his thigh and brushing up against the thing between his legs.

『Oi, Oi, Oi, why are you groping around so much?』  
  
“Your pockets are way too deep.”  
  
『There’s no way my pockets are that deep!』  
  
“Neither your life nor your pockets are that deep, right?” She commented absentmindedly, as her hand continued feeling around. Kumagawa’s entire body tightened at once in reaction to her touch. He froze, letting her play around and tease him until she finally drew out the monopad and just dropped it there in his lap like she had gotten bored of the game and quit.  
  
She went back to cooking. He just noticed this now, but her apron was tied back with a cute pink bow, around the subtle curve of a perfect hourglass where her waist met her hips. She poured from the ladel a bit of what she was stirring into a small dish, and sipped it. A pleased smile spread across her face. She poured the rest onto a small bowl of rice.   

“Soup time!” She turned around and held the plate in front of him, winking and smiling at him wih her mouth wide open. She perfectly captured the appearance of a maid girl serving in a cafe, even holding a spoon up with her other hand. Then, immediately she began to spoon feed herself, messily chewing away at the rice. WIth her mouth open, and her cheek bulging with rice she continued to chat away same as ever. “What’s with that face? Oh my, oh my, are you mad? You didn’t think this curry rice was for you, did you? But it’s me who wants to be angry... Why are you looking at the food so filled with desire. Hey, why aren’t you looking at the adorable faec of one Enoshima Junko like a lust driven demon? Why is it? Hey, why aren’t you horny?”

『Why don’t you just skip to the part of the scene where you say something really messed up, already. I know it’s coming.』

“Hmmm? Me say something messed up? Why ever would you accuse me of that? I’m such a sweet and cute girl you know. So impatient! You don’t have any grasp of narrative pacing at all.”

『Nevermind, let’s just ignore this annoying conversation with Junko and go to my happy place. Happy place, happy place. Junko waiting for me in a tower, I cut through the maze of thorns surrounding her to rescue her. She wears an elegant, old fashioned dress with a corset and I may be onto something good here, I should ask Junko to try this...Next fantasy, Junko in an apron cooking for me in the morning and the food turns out not to be poisoned! I should write these down in my Junko fantasy Journal... so I can keep my desires in check.』

“Oh, you know since I’m a model or anything it’s not like I’m opposed to trying on new outfits.”

『Huh, really? I wanna see, I wanna, I wanna see!』Kumagawa said, smiling widely and feeling hope for the first time in his life.  
  
Those hopes were immediately dashed by her. “However, if it’s something that you want me to dress up in, I’ll have to make sure to never ever wear that kind of outfit for the rest of my life. Anyway...” She said, casually swerving the wheel on their completely directionless conversation once more. “That’s the thing about torture. Use familiar everyday stuff and it’s so much worse. How many potential weapons do you think we handle on a daily basis? The more harmless they seem, the more the trauma really sticks.”

『See, there it is, the moment this conversation takes a predictable turn into fuckedupsville.』  
  
“It wasn’t predictable! Hey, feel more despair.” She said licking the curry off her spoon as she started to move it towards one of his eyes.

『How am I supposed to feel despair? I don’t even know why I’m here.』

“I’m only doing this to protect you, you know. Because I love you so much, that’s why I’m keeping you in the dark about things. That’s the form my love takes, apparently. Oh, it’s so romantic, not telling you things just to protect you.”

 _Oh right._ _  
_ _Her motives are totally clear._ _  
_ _She knows I’m keeping secrets from her to protect her, right?_ _  
_ _That’s why she pulled this stunt._ _  
_ _She’s mad._ _  
_ _She missed out on being able to see me with the despair disease forcing me to tell a despair filled truth over and over again, because I kissed her to keep my secret._ _  
_ _She’s serious._ _  
_ _Probably._ _  
_ _She’s seriously that petty._ _  
_ _I guess this is a betrayal, this entire scene is an absurd thing to do to someone you love._ _  
_ _But honestly I don’t mind._ _  
_ _Irrationality, absurdity, hypocrisy, and villainy._ _  
_ _You should embrace them, like you love them._

『Nuh-uh, don’t wanna.』Kumagawa said, still utterly unfettered. Suddenly, Junko heard behind his back several popping and cracking noises, all of them sounding increasingly unhealthy. The way his body moved in that moment was the very image of disturbing, as he rotated his arms fully around the cuffs of his shoulder to a painful looking degree bringing them from behind his back, popping the joint of his elbow so he could bring them over his head and then in front of him uncrossing his arms and letting the handcuffs fall uselessly to the ground. He stood up suddenly and grabbed Junko twisting her hand that was holding the spoon. He twisted her entire body around, until she was in his embrace, his arms crossed and wrapped around her.『That’s enough playing around.』  
  
Enoshima looked like she had not been expecting that reaction, just for a moment she stared in shock. Then she puffed her cheeks out to pout. “You’re terrible Misogi, I missed out on the despair of seeing you with he despair sickness, and now you’re making me miss this despair as well.”

『I always warn you if you’re too hasty you’ll miss a deeper despair waiting for you around the corner, you’re the one who never listens to me.』Kumagawa said, before resting his chin in the divet of her shoulder finally.  『Still, kidnapping me because I won’t tell you a secret isn’t that a little passive agressive?』  
  
“I think that qualifies as regular agressive, but you prooooomiiiiiiseeed me Misogi. You promised you’d share everything. I know it’s your job to be the person who points out when things aren’t proceeding like they should be in a shonen manga, but the main character of a shonen manga would never break a promise like that.”

『If I gave up my secret that easily, then you’d have no fun.』

“Just so you know, I’m not enough of a coward to hesitate because I’m facing a minus, nor am I enough of a kind person to hesitate because I’m facing my lover. I’m going to pry it from your cold dead hands if I have to.”

『I know. It’s why I like you.』Kumagawa smiled at her sweetly. 『I’ll take your betrayal this time as the sweetest of compliments. We’re even anyway, since I betrayed you during the hospital, and got in the way of your plans...think of how much worse it could have been if you weren’t running around as brainless Ryoko-chan the entire time.』

Junko’s face quickly boiled over from mere pouting, to wounded pride. Kumagawa had managed to fuck up one of her actual plans after all, she shouted in a high pitched voice. “Don’t give me this bullshit about how for us betrayal is better than compliments. Don’t try to lecture me on this. I tried to kill my own sister. I FUCKING know how this works. And you? You ruin even this.”  She said, with her free hand gesturing at him flippantly. “Even betrayal you manage to fuck up, ugh!”

Now she was just throwing a tantrum, but Kumagawa played along with her as he always did. He accepted all of her anger with an affecitonate smile, that only pissed her off worse.『Isn’t this what you wanted? Weren’t you so so tired of winning all the time? The world was too nice to Enoshima Junko, so she had to destroy it, was it?』  
  
Kumagawa Misogi changed just as quickly as she did, he could suddenly rend his claws right into your heart and start to drag you down just as she did but their methods were different. Hers was calculated, precise, purposeful but to him despair seemed to be as natural as breathing. Her brow twitched in annoyance as she tried to push away from his embrace. “You don’t know my life, bitch.”

『No. But you know min. Every last detail, don’t you? You made me tell you every last horrible thing that happened to me.』  
  
“Your point?”

『Are you jealous? That’s such an ignorant thing for a plus to feel, jealous of a minus like me.』  
  
“Ugh, shut up with your stupid plus and minus bullshit for all you blather on about that you think you’d be a little better at math, you idiot.” She said, her hand pushing against his chest. However, at the same time she pulled the collar of his shirt hard enough to pop a button to give her access to snake her hand in and feel his chest skin to skin.

『Junko wants me to shut up does she? Why? Can’t you just filter out someone like me?』  
  
“God, I said shut up!”

『Is it because my voice is ugly?』  
  
She yelled, bright red with embarrassment. “SHUT UP!”

『Ah, or am I perhaps making a point? It must hurt for someone like me to-』In that moment, suddenly she started to kiss him. His hand loosened on hers as he was completely absorbed into the kiss, and so she was able to just as easily start to strangle him as she kissed him.

Kumagawa gasped into her lips.『Ah-Junko, I can’t breathe.』  
  
“God, and you were quiet for a full two seconds, too. Fine, if you won’t shut up, I’ll just make you scream instead. She let go of him, and her hand traveled around his waist lifting his shirt up to jab a sharp nail right into his back. As his back arched away from her in reaction, she slid a knee between his legs and pushed it hard against the space between his legs. He gasped again, but she still had one hand on his neck.

Kumagawa, the super highschool level masochist, made an expression at that moment that could only be described as stupidly happy.  
  
“God, I can’t believe you’re getting off on this. You’re disgusting.” Junko said, as she was straddling him. He felt the impact of the wall she had pushed him back against. His plan to distract her worked well, a little too well perhaps. As things suddenly became lost in the heat between them.  
  
Her grip on his neck lessened, and she settled for dragging nails across his flesh instead as her thumb went downwards, searching for the buttons of his shirt. With a simple flick, she got that one open, and the next, and the next. Nothing was in her way any longer, and she was free to put her hand all over the warmth of his chest.    
  
His hand reached down, and his fingers absentmindedly teased as the fringes of her skirt, while she kissed him, getting a fresh coat of lipstick smeared over his lips. When he tried to lift her skirt up, she slapped his hand away, and then grabbed it by the rest and readjusted it so he was holding onto her behind instead. She was oh so bossy, even at a time like this.  
  
His other hand was holding against the wall for support, but as she leaned the entirety of her weight against him, his hand dragged on the wall as both of them were dragged down by the weight of each other. Down, down, sinking into the abyss of an ocean of despair. Even if all they did was drag each other down neither could let go.

The connection between them was twisted, it knotted so much that the red string was becoming frayed, but neither minded. Even if the string was dyed pitch black, it was still a connection. Those two were finally connected. Violent, entangling, twisted up, but this their consummation. This was requited.  
  
_Sedating me with poison lipstick and ruining our moment of confession.  
__Kidnapping and holding me against my will, that’s not okay of course.  
__But I’ve already forgiven her.  
__For this and every other betrayal.  
__It’s not like I believe I have to forgive her, or I’ve been conditioned this way._ _  
_ _It’s just my choice._ _  
_ _Because in the end, I’m going to choose to betray her far worse than she could ever betray me._

Enoshima Junko fell comfortably on top of him as they fell together in a pile of stuffed animals. Junko had placed his hand there to ensure he would be able to hold onto her, and now that she sat up ripped the apron off of her, and then began working on the buttons of her shirt. She pulled it over her head, which was much easier considering her hair was tied up in only one tail, not two. Kumagawa greedily reached up, and undid the binding of her hair first, causing her hair to spill all over the two of them. Then he finally noticed she was wearing only a bra at this point. He hesitated for a moment, and she lost patience grabbing his hand for him and making him cup her breast.

Kumagawa stared at her looking as clueless as ever. HIs lips fell open. He humbly asked for permission, lowering his head. She nodded in response. Before they could go any further though, suddenly the door flew open.

“What the hell are you two doing in Komaeda’s cabin!” Hinata Hajime said, enraged.

Enoshima Junko sighed. “There are too many people on this island. Can’t some more of you go die already so I can have some private time?”

『Awe, come on, Hajime-chan. Junko never shuts up so it takes me forever to get to the part where she lets me touch her boobs- wait, we’re in Nagito-chan’s cabin?』  
  
Junko somehow totally divorced herself from the heat of passion she felt a moment ago, and looked back up empitly at Hinata. “Well, Komaeda-senpai spends like 99% of his time around Hinata-senpai, and he keeps making excuses to stay at your cabin overnight, and nobody actually wants to be around Komaeda-senpai besides you so I figured this is the last place anybody would look.”

Komaeda looked over Hinata’s shoulders, his eyes narrowing down at Kumagawa. “I know my room is like a garbage dump for housing trash like me, but could you at least be a little less trashy and keep your pants on Kumagawa-kun.”  
  
“Oh wow,” Junko said tilting her head to the side. “He’s so gay he totally didn’t even notice my boobs.”  
  
“I did!” Hinata said as he slammed a hand over his eyes. “Will you two just get out of here, already!”

“Why, are you jealous Hinata-senpai? Did you want to use this room for yourself? Is seeing us like this giving you any ideas?”  
  
“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” Enoshima Junko was an expert at dragging others down into despair, but with idiots like Hinata Hajime it was far too easy to guess where his thoughts were going as he kept sneaking glances at an oblivious Komaeda.

The two of them zipped and buttoned up once more. Kumagawa put a hand on Hajime’s shoulder, and took his hand in his own sliding something into his palm.

『It’s up to you now, make good use of it Hajime-chan.』  
  
“What did you just hand me?”

『A water balloon.』  
  
“Why would you give me a water balloon.”

『Bye, bye now!』As soon as they left, Kumagawa sighed. 『It’s kind of lame that Monokuma-chan and Hajime-chan keep interrupting us, we haven’t been able to do it in awhile. At least not since before the second island.』  
  
“I could care less…” She said stubbornly. “I’m not that horny for loserboy.”

『I guess that makes sense.』  
  
Even as she said that though, Enoshima Junko suddenly wrapped herself around his arm and wrenched his body over so it would be closer to hers. The two of them, still intertwined liked that walked to the restaurant together to go meet everyone else.

 

 ♛

 

In the corner of the dining hall, Ikusaba Mukuro was surrounded by an intensely gloomy aura. Even Pekoyama who shared a room with her did not want to go around her and see what was wrong, and decided to sit in between Komaeda and Hinata once again.

Kumagawa appeared behind her, putting a hand on her shoulder. He approached her like always like it was no big deal, but that was because he had no way to perceive the boundaries of others or when they wanted to be left alone.  『Eh, Mukuro-chan? Why does your face look like that? You know, my character archetype is the gloomy one, you’re supposed to be the emotionless girl.』  
  
Mukuro’s head was resting in her folded arms. Her shoulder only stirred a little bit to acknowledge Kumagawa Misogi’s presence. “I said a bunch of mean things to Junko, and now I can’t talk to her anymore.”

『Well, if it was Junko she probably deserved it.』  
  
“Still… it’s not like I want to stop being her sister.”

『For a second there it almost looked like you had a spine.』

Mukuro suddenly lifted her head, but all she could do was ineffectually whine and bat at Kumagawa with her hands. He held his own hands up playfully deflecting them. “Don’t you start bullying me too!”

『I’m not, I’m not. Mukuro-chan, don’t doubt yourself so much.』Kumagawa suddenly leaned in close to whisper to her. Between the two of them, he used the sincere voice he used on such rare occasions. “Mukuro-chan, even if I’m not by your side anymore, before anybody else take care of yourself.”  
  
“W-why are you saying that, Misogi-chan?”  
  
“My own selfishness. You two sisters are precious to me, I don’t want to lose either of you.” Kumagawa said, as he leaned over her shoulder and swiped a piece of bread from her plate. Just like that he went back to his normal, cheerful, insincere self. 『If this were a shonen manga, I would say believe in me who believes in you who believes in me who believes in you, or something inspirational like that.』

“What you said makes absolutely no sense.”

『It doesn’t have to make sense, it’s the sentiment that counts.』  
  
“The sentiment didn’t make sense either…!” Ikusaba Mukuro sighed. Talking to Kumagawa Misogi could be just as exhausting as talking to her own sister, yet in her agitation she had forgotten about what she was previously worried about. She looked to his plate and saw that he had not one, but several plates of food stacked up in his hands. Usually Kumagawa ate like a bird, and barely touched his food while her sister stole food off his plate. It was strange to see him eating so much.

Kumagawa left her alone and sat down next to Junko. With only nine of them left, ten if one counted Ajimu who was conspicuously absent again the cafe seemed half full, or half empty if Kumagawa was the one describing it.

“Ahahahahaha!” Komaeda said, enjoying the mood of the room.  
  
It was Kyoko who spoke up. “I’m surprised you’re here eating with everyone, Komaeda-senpai.”  
  
“Sorry. I should know my place and not speak out of turn when everyone’s gathered together like this…” Komaeda curled his fingers up and stared into his empty palm, immediately dejected. “However, I just wanted to make sure I spoke to you all about what happened at the trial two days ago.”

“What happened at the trial…?” Hinata Hajime repeated, he really was a canyon, empty, cavernous, only capable of echoing back what others said to him in the form of a question.  
  
“Hm? Am I just a coward for worrying?” Komaeda said, immediately losing confidence in what he was about to say.  
  
“It crossed my mind as well… we’ve made little to no progress on the mystery of this island…” Kyoko said, brushing a gloved hand through her hair as she thought. “We should be thinking about what the future foundation means, who really is responsible for our imprisonment, and what happened to Naegi-kun and Shuichi-kun.”  
  
Kumagawa merely smiled to himself, as he began to messily pull apart his food with his bare hands. _I wonder what Hajime-chan is thinking right now. Probably something plot relevant, maybe about how the word future appears in the name of this hotel, and on that ruin, but it doesn’t matter really. To me, the future just means an inevitable loss. There’s nothing to be gained by solving this mystery._

Komaeda put a hand to his forehead, and closed one eye twisting his expression up to think. “But… what we should be most concerned about, as it relates to the Future Foundation… is the traitor from the Future Foundation that’s hiding among us. I wonder who it is. The true identity of the outsider among us, trying to ensnare us.”  
  
“By bringing it up, you’re the most suspicious among us, Komaeda-senpai.” Kirigiri said politely.  
  
“Even a childish organization blathering about saving the world, wouldn’t accept someone like me. Nobody wants a worthless human like me to join their group.” Komaeda said, his expression falling.  
  
“Hey buddy…” Hinata did not know what to say, so he awkwalrdy patted the other boy on the shoulder.  
  
“You guys should know that feeling, well, right?” Komaeda instantly perked up, smiling at them all again.

“You shouldn’t talk about yourself that way bro…” Hitoyoshi Zenkichi said, as he sat next to Kurokami Medaka.  
  
“I find your logic difficult to follow.’ Kurokami Medaka surmised, and then went back to eating.  
  
“Then… who do you suspect the traitor to be, Komaeda? That’s why you brought it up in the first place, right?” Pekoyama tried to get everyone to take it seriously.  
  
However, there was a pair of jokers among them who would never take anything seriously. Enoshima Junko stretched, and yawned loud enough and with enough presence everybody in the room looked at her. “Who cares about what Komaeda-senpai has to say? The traitor is probably just a red herring anyway why else would the mastermind announce it at the beginning of the game? God, this is like death game mastermind 101, you guys would all be terrible at masterminding a death game.”  Suddenly she threw her arms around Kumagawa who was next to her, unexpected by him as he froze up in surprise when she yanked him close. “The most important announcement for today is that Misogi is my boyfriend.”

『Huh? I’m your boyfriend, since when?』  
  
“Ummm, obviously you’re my boyfriend. I wouldn’t just fool around with any fool you know, the gothic lolita aesthetic doesn't mean I’m easy. It’s foolish to think otherwise.”

『I think you said the word fool too many times, just then… Wait, what? 』  
  
“I got bored of pretending not to like you and playing this will they won’t they game, so I decided we’re dating now.”

『That’s not the kind of thing you should decide on your own! 』  
  
“So?” She chuckled, leaning against him. “Are you going to do anything about it?”  
  
『Damn it, you always go right for my weak spot. 』  
  
“What…?”

『Look.』  
  
“This is important so give me a straight answer. Will you come with me?”

『Eh..? Come with you where?』When he saw himself reflecting in her eyes though, he weakened even further. 『Don’t ask when you already know the answer.』He said, looking away his face reddening.  
  
Kirigiri cleared her throat, appearing behind the two of them. “We have more important things we need to be discussing, like investigating the fourth island that’s opened up.”  
  
“Are those two getting intimate with each other before marriage?” Kurokami said, tilting her head.  
  
“N-no, Medaka-chan it’s a misunderstanding. Don’t ruin her innocence you two!” Hitoyoshi Zenkichi snapped at them.

  
“Why  would you even tell everybody those details of your private life, anyway?” Pekoyama  said, adjusting her glasses.  
  
“Oh well, I thought it’d be extra fun to rub it in your face especially since I went out of my way to ruin your little date with Kuzuryuu-senpai, to show how much better I am at you than this.”

『Junko, it’s not competition. If you make it into a competition I’ll lose.』  
  
“What’s the point of having things if I can’t make people feel despair about the things they don’t have? I’m just reminding people of their place beneath me, and anyway…”  She energetically snapped her head back to Kirigiri Kyoko. “Yeah, it’s probably wrong to unravel the mystery this early, and it’s a total violation of the mastermind honor system but let me just state the obvious for you guys. The only reason Monokuma opens up new islands one by one is to stagger out rounds of the killing game, the only thing you’re going to find on that new island is a bunch of toys to murder each other with and a bunch of places that would make for interesting crime scenes.”  
  
“Why are you suddenly changing your tone and deciding to be helpful?” Kyoko said, eyeing her in suspicion.  
  
Of course, Enoshima’s face was indiscernible as always. She didn’t know if her words were her honest feelings on the matter, no matter how many times she repeated herself Kyoko would probably never know - her detective’s intuition told her that at least.  
  
“Well, it’s because I wuv all of my classmates so much! I’ve totally been converted by the power of friendship, or whatever. Enoshima Junko redemption arc starts right now. Kissing a cute boy solved all of my mental problems.”  
  
“Yeah, I believe that…” Kirigiri Kyoko sighed. “Don’t call us classmates, you were never a classmate to me.”  
  
“Were you always this cold, Kirigiri-san?” Junko said, smiling up at her pleasantly. “Well, go risk it if you want. Just keep reacting to the plot that Monokuma set out for you instead of trying to break the scenario, I guess that’ll be despair too. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.”  
  
“...Fine. We won’t investigate the fourth island for now if it’s only going to open up more opportunities for murder.”  
  
Junko smiled at her again. “I’m glad we can understand each other, since we’re all classmates we should get along, and live in mutual harmony, hope, and prosperity. If you want to later you can complete all my free time events and collect one of those weird hope crystal things. If you collect enough I’ll confide in you my tragic backstory.”  
  
“Pass.” Kyoko said coldly.

『You don’t even have a tragic backstory Junko-ah! Wha? Where are we going?』Junko suddenly stood up, and grabbed Kumagawa by his wrist forcing him to follow her.  
  
“Anyway, we’re outie! I’m kidnapping you again.” Junko said, looking ecstatic as she dragged him along.

『Aren’t one of you guys going to stop her?』  
  
“None of us like you.” Kyoko said, keeping her monotone.

“Awe, poor Senpai he’s unpopular. They say a woman’s better off, with an unloved man, rather than a man whose popular.” Junko said, as she pulled him out of the hotel.

『Haven’t you gotten bored of kidnapping me by now?』  
  
“No way, kidnapping is totally romantic! It happens all the time in fairy tales. Princesses get locked away in towers, and wait for their true love.”

『Yes, but usually it’s not the princess’s lover that locks them away in the tower!』

“Isn’t it more despair filled that way? If it’s just a witch locking you away, only the princess feels despair. But if you lock somebody you love away, then it’s like sealing your own heart in a cage of despair.”

『Don’t lock your heart away in a metaphorical cage, Junko. It’s already surrounded by enough metaphorical thorns as it is.』  
  
“If it’s too painful for you you can get bored and go home. That’s what a loser prince would do anyway.”

『It’s fine. No matter how many times I’m pricked, if you’re lost within a maze of thorns then I’ll come find you. You’d be lonely otherwise.』

Junko hummed in fondness for a moment, making the noise and face of a satisfied cat. Then, as suddenly as always she changed her tune, yanking him close to her and moving her face within centimeters of his.

『Hmmm? Junko why did you scare everybody away from the fourth island, anyway.』  
  
“Ooooh, senpai. Feel like going… on a date?”  She said, as one of her eyes narrowed.  
  
Kumagawa, noticing how close her face was, averted his eyes once more and gently leaned forward enough to bop his forehead lightly against hers. 『I just told you… don’t ask when you already know the answer.』

“Upupupupu-upupupuuu....” She giggled, ecstatic.

 _I don’t mind being swung around by this girl’s selfishness._ _  
_ _As long as I can see her smile._ _  
_ _Even I’m not stupid enough to think something like that._ _  
_ _This is just my self indulgence._ _  
_ _To make up for the guilt I feel._

Kumagawa thought, as he unseen by anyone else, slipped food into his pocket.

 ♛

 

As they walked up across the bridge, they saw the high tower of a castle scraping the sky of the horizon on the other side.  
  
“See, I told you just like a fairy tale. That castle and that amusement park it was made for me, this tragedy’s queen!”

『I guess it finally makes sense why you’re such a fussy little princess about everything. I didn’t know you were the type to like fairy tales though.』

“There’s plenty of inherent despair in fairy tales.”

『Hmm, howso?』  
  
“The despair of falling from the vines into a bush of thorns and scraping your eyes out. The despair of being driven mad by looking into a mirror and realizing you’re not beautiful enough. The despair of pricking your finger, and being cursed to stay forever young and beautiful.”

『How is that a curse exactly?』  
  
“Because it’s eternity.”

Kumagawa stopped for a moment, hesitating. His lip pulled into a fine line as he met her eyes. 『Junko, what is eternity to you?』

“Boring.” At the moment, the girl’s expression slipped, and her face deadpanned, like she had lost interest in everything.   
  
Kumagawa sensing her despondency clapped his hands in her face suddenly. She gave him another look like she had not been expecting that. 『Then, if I clap my hands will the curse I put on you be removed?』

“Huh…” She blinked for a moment, before realizing the setting of the scene he was introducing and improvising, and deciding to play along. She gasped and stumbled backwards her hand on her chest, gasping and striking a pose at once. “What am I doing here? I’ve woken up on this island with no memories at all. Why must such tragedy befall a beautiful young maiden like me.”

『Don’t worry, my empty headed princess.』Kumagawa bowed down in front of her. 『To restore your memories, I brought you to this lost kingdom. This place is exactly like our first date.』  
  
“You’re right, how could I have forgotten something so important to me.” Junko said, moving forward as she folded her hands across her chest. “Monokuma! My true love! I’ve finally remembered you!”

『Hey, what? I’m losing to the bear? I thought we were doing a fairy tale motife not winnie the poo.』  
  
“You wouldn’t be my loser prince if you didn’t always lose…” She giggled, reaching forward to pinc him on the cheek. As they got closer, it was exactly like Kumagawa had said the entire place was an amusement park. Unlike the previous island which looked like a ghost town, this entire place swelled with color, there was a rainbow in the air and several balloons were blow past them by the breeze.  
  
Junko’s eyes widened in anticipation. “Monokummmaaalaaand! It looks fun, amazing, exciting, thrilling, heart pounding, heart stopping.”

『...That just makes it look even creepier!』

 “No, duh that’s the best part!” She grabbed his hand and started dragging him forward again.

『I hope you have a compelling reason for dragging me out here like this.』  
  
“Oh, I do! There’s something I want to show you. Something oh so special to me.” She said, curling her fingers around her chin as her face reddened, “I’d get quite the reputation if you told anyone about this though. I want this to be perfect, I’ve been so worried about it I’ve barely gotten a wink of sleep.”

『Junko, you just told everyone we were dating. This isn’t our first time, this isn’t even our first date.』

“Oh, I remember now. That was at an amusement park too, but you used bookmaker.”

『Yeah, and you acted like a huge dork the entire time.』  
  
“That was just a side effect of subjecting myself to your terrible personality.”

『Hmmm, I don’t think it’s your obsession with despair or killing games that drives you to insanity, Junko. I think your biggest delusion is being in denial about how much of a dork you are.』

“I think they’d call this a classic case of projection, Misogi.”

『Hey, I only like manga. You watch way more anime than I do.』  
  
“What are you talking about? You’ve watched the entirety of evangelion, the jojo anime, the animated version of dragon ball Z, Yurikumi Arashi.”

『Yeah, because you forced me to watch them with you.』

“Hmm, what was that? I don’t speak Geek. Cry about your shit taste in waifus or whatever later, Misogi, a real girl wants to spend time with you for the first time in your life.” Junko said, as she excitedly ran forward pulling him along by the hand. Kumagawa tried to ignore the pain of her red claws digging a bit too tightly into the skin of his hand.

 _Why do I keep bringing up fairy tales?_ _  
_ _I’m not trying to be artsy or anything._ _  
_ _I just think it’s appropriate._ _  
_ _Because this whole world is fake._ _  
_ _That’s why nothing here matters._ _  
_ _This world doesn’t need to follow any logic or meaning._ _  
_ _It can be whatever I want it to be._ _  
_ _It can be just like a fairy tale._  
  
Kumagawa dragged his heels in front of  a colorful looking building that had been doused in red blood. The name “Ajimu House” was crossed out, a bomb had collapsed the ceiling in, and “Haunted House” was spray painted on a board which had been nailed to the building.

Kumagawa suddenly pictured a scared Junko holding onto his arm, and him feeling her warmth as she shivered against him. That was of course nothing more than a fantasy, a fairy tale that had nothing to do with reality. However, that did not stop him from pointing at the haunted house excitedly. 『Come on, come on! Let’s try that! My minus self is so horrifying a haunted house is perfect for me.』  
  
“Hmm, I can think of 20,264 ways to give people a despair-inducing surprise. Let’s see if this house can wow me!”

『Whoa, that’s a lot.』  
  
“I can think of 13,000  ways in which you’re a loser.”

『That’s way too many!』

Side by side walked together into the haunted house. A devilish smile spreading across Kumagawa’s face, as he protectively put an arm around her. Only for him to scream and jump out of the way when they turned the first corner. The next one, he screamed a full octave higher and hid behind Junko.

“Quit WillHelm screaming at me.”

『Sc-sc-sc-sary, s-s-s-o scary.』

“What are you talking about this place is totally predictable. Tch, the mastermind should have been more considerate and designed a stimulating environment for everybody in mind. They just designed it the same way I would have done it, talk about plagiarism.”

Kumagawa reached out for Junko’s hand. 『Junko, can I hold your hand the rest of the way?』  
  
“Gosh, you’re such a coward. How did you manage to survive for this long anyway, living in such an ugly and despicable way?” Junko said, her tongue harsh and ready to lash him as usual, but she did not turn down his request for her hand.

『It’s because I’m a coward that I’ve lived this long.』Kumagawa said, as he intertwined his fingers with hers and squeezed her palm lightly. 『Living in an ugly way isn’t so bad but… I’ve always wanted to stop being a coward you know.』

“You just need a princess to save. That’s how all the other heroes and knights do it.”

『My princess doesn’t want to be saved. She’s the kind of girl who would bite into the poison apple deliberately, to taste that despair.』

“I guess you can never be a knight then. Hmm, maybe you can be a horse instead!” Junko said, as she suddenly threw his arms around his neck and spun around his body so she could climb up on his back.

『Junko! Junko, quit it, I’m not that strong!』  
  
“Come on, if you’re a good boy I’ll give you an apple!” She laughed, mady as he swung her around trying to steady them both.

『Any apple you give me is going to be poisoned.』  
  
“So, you’re not going to bite it then?” She finally finished climbing onto his back, and crossed her arms over his chest. He could feel the tickle of her breath at his ear. “What if I bite into it too?”

『If… if you shared it with me, I’d bite into it.』  
  
“See, you’re no better than me.”  
  
_I already know that._

As Kumagawa took a step forward he realized they were already at the end of the haunted house. He had so much fun talking to Junko, he had forgotten about how scared he was. He wished it could always be like that, to be so absorbed by Junko that suddenly nothing else mattered, to forget everything else.  
  
He was the minus who wished to forget. Every minus had different obsessions, the minus who told lies Shiranui, the minus reopened scars Shibushi, the minus who laughed at the meaningless luck his life had given him and put his blind faith in that luck Komaeda, the minus that pushed away damage Gagamaru. Kumagawa was the minus that wished to forget, he pretended like all bad things that happened to him never happened and kept smiling all the same.  
  
But because he desired it so much was precisely why he would never have it. It was in his nature as a minus to never have what he wanted after all. And it twisted him up just as much as getting everything she had ever wanted had twisted up Junko.

 

 ♛

  
Junko and Kumagawa stopped in front of a mirror maze. Junko immediately jumped off of him, and landed in a pose. “Ohhhh, let’s go here next! Let’s go in from different doors and try to find each other.”

『Huh? A mirror maze. I don’t wanna. I’ll just get lost.』  
  
“Weren’t you going to navigate the maze of thorns around my heart?”

『That’s only a metaphorical maze, I can’t get lost in that one.』  
  
“Oh, can you?” She held a hand out to tease him.

Suddenly, he took her hand and pulled her closer so he could look into her eyes. 『Mayhaps I can get lost in your eyes.』

Junko’s expression remained blank and unimpressed as always. “That line is way too predictable, I give you square root of negative three points.”

『That’s an even bigger imaginary number than last time!』  
  
“You shouldn’t avoid mirrors, Senpai. They’re really important parts of fairy tales after all, mirror mirror on the wall who’s the biggest loser of them all?”

『You don’t need a magic mirror to answer that question.』  
  
“I already told you, but the mirror in that story probably was not that magic. What’s more despair inducing than being forced to stare at yourself, day in and day out? People will do almost anything to avoid looking directly at themselves. So the mad queen in snow white probably just deluded herself into thinking her aging face in the mirror was a magic mirror, she herself was the source of her greatest despair.”

『Hmmm, clearly you’ve thought about this a lot. You’re more of a princess type than I thought.』  
  
“And you MIsogi, are a bit like a mirror you know.”

『Oh, is that why you like being around me so much? Because of your vanity? When you stare at me you can see yourself, and you love looking at yourself the most?』  
  
“When you look into it, the only thing you see is your own reflection. You can’t see his true nature. Even though he’s right in front of me, I can’t shake the uncomfortable feeling that no one’s actually there - that’s how you feel.”

Kumagawa hesitated for a moment, his eyes freezing. He remembered the last time Enoshia Junko rejected him because he was empty inside, but then he forgot about that painful memory and tried to smile.『You didn't need to put it so poetically, I already know that I’m a nobody.』Kumagawa said as he let go of her and disappeared into the maze. Junko saw several different Kumagawas appear in the mirrors and smiled, walking a bit farther to enter at a different door.  
  
She looked around and saw several distorted versions of her appearing in the mirror. She paced around for a moment and contemplated, putting a finger to her lips. “You knoooow, with my personality changing I could talk to all the different Junkos at once, it would be a Jun-konference.”  
  
However, just as quickly as she had thought that was a good idea, she grew tired of that idea and changed her mind. “Nevermind, that’s too much of a cliche.” Instead, she sat down on the ground and held her knees to her chest humming to herself slightly in anticipation of what she was listening for. Mukuro had told her she had caught Misogi talking to himself before. She wanted to see it, when he dropped his guard down while she was not around. She was curious just how exactly broken that boy was, behind his smile that seemed to reflect everything else.

『A date would be fun but… Junko’s just trying to distract herself from her own boredom, so it doesn’t feel any more romantic than usual.』Kumagawa said, speaking to himself as he brushed back his side swept hair with his own hands.  
  
He was trying to look away from his own reflections, but that was impossible with the sheer amount of them. Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye he saw one of them move in a way that he did not. That reflection smiled at him. 『 _Isn’t that the case with you as well?_ 』

『Huh?』

『 _Because you, are the same as Junko. All you’re doing is distracting yourself, and distracting herl. And if you don’t, you won’t last. Eventually… you will break or become useless. Once that happens, she’ll grow bored of you._ 』

『...』

『 _I don’t want to lose her, I don’t want to lose her. You’re the picture of arrogance. You can’t lose what you didn’t have in the first place._ 』

『I don’t want to have her. I just want to save her from hurting herself, why is that so bad?』

『 _Save? You don’t even know anything. You don’t know anything about her._ 』

Kuagawa staggered forward, a terrible piercing pain in his skull like a screw being unraveled behind his eye. He undered if he unscrewed himself enough if his head would roll right off. At the very least he could be relieved of the pain he was feeling at the moment.  
  
He reached forward to steady himself on the mirror, but his hand fell through because it was nothing more than an empy space. The path forward. Or so he thought, but he saw the image of another hand grabbing him, and pulling him forward. Perhaps he was mistaken all along, delusional, he was the reflection and the other Kumagawa was the real one.

_No, don’t think like that._

_Ever since Mikan-chan’s death, these episodes have been more frequent._ _  
_ _They’re slowly approaching each other._ _  
_ _If they eclipse what will happen?_ _  
_ _Will I not be lucid anymore?_ _  
_ _Haha, no it’ll be fine right?_ _  
_ _I’ve always been like this, a crazy, deranged, mad, minus._ _  
_ _This is no different than what I’ve always dealt with._

『 _Hmmm, so which fairy tale do you see yourself as? Are you the one who stares in the mirror envious of what they can’t have? She’s beautiful in all the ways you’re not, is that it? That’s why you want to steal her heart so badly, and lock it away inside a box._ 』

『Yes, I get it I’m ugly and I’m jealous of beautiful people, tell me something I don’t know.』

『 _Do you know the story of the prince in Rapunzel?_ 』  
『 _He fell from the tower, into the thorn of bushes, and gouged out his own eyes on the thorns._ 』  
『 _There’s nothing beautiful or noble, about suffering so much trying to get close to Junko as she pricks you with her thorns again and again._ 』  
『 _You’re just being abused._ 』  
『 _And this is the result of that._ 』  
『 _You’ve gauged your own eyes out to avoid seeing that, and now all you can do is stumble forward blindly._ 』  
『 _Hope is a just heart reaching for the light, right?_ 』  
『 _Junko is the light you reach towards, but if she knew that, she’d hate you. She’d lose all interest._ 』  
『 _Yet, you can’t help it can you?_ 』  
『 _You don’t know what love looks like._ 』  
『 _It’s not that you’ve never been loved, you’ve never even loved anybody._ 』  
『 _How can you? When you’re so unfriendly towards (me) yourself._ 』  
『 _Hey, why are you looking away? You’re so unfriendly. I’m lonely you know._ 』 

『No, that’s a lie. There is someone I love. She’s beautiful, and cruel. I wanted her to smile more than anyone else. That’s why… I’ve endured this until now. Endured. Endured. Endured. Endured. Don’t deny everything I’ve been through. A lie, a lie, a lie. I watched it all happen. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Just so I could see her again. Who did I do this for, whose fault is this? Hey, hey, tell me, where did you go? You’re always talking to me, where did you go? 』  
  
When he looked around the mirrors, he could see nothing at all. He had disappeared from them entirely. Disappear, disappear, disappear. No, he would not disappear. If the man in the mirror wouldn’t shut up, all he needed to do was kill him. He rushed forward to smash his head against the mirror.  
  
Typically, this is where the protagonist would symbolically smash the mirror in order to metaprorically break themselves along the cracks of the mirror and show their splintering mindframe or perception of self. However, Kumagwa was quite weak, and his head took more damage than the mirror. He did not create even a single crack hitting it with all his force, he only splattered blood from his forehead on the mirror. Then, he fell backwards losing consciousness.  
  
_I heard the sound of a man I hated laughing._ _  
_ _It was my own laughter._ _  
  
_

 ♛

 

When Kumagawa Misogi awoke again, he felt his head softly resting against someone’s lap. However, it was not the face of Enoshima Junko that appeared in his vision but rather Ajimu Najimi.  
  
Kumagawa’s heart which had been slowly preparing to leap right out of his chest, fell instead.

 _Of course._ _  
_ _There’s no way that girl would care for me like that._ _  
_ _If she saw me in this state she’d probably just laugh._

『Your presence is relaxing as always, miss relief attendant.』Kumagawa said, the same nickname he used to call her in middle school when she would let him rest in her lap when his mind fell into a particularly dark place.  
  
Ajimu Najimi was still wiping the blood from his forehead. Her face seemed rather focused on that. It was surprising to Kumagawa. Ajimu usually looked at everything like they were a part of the background, he had never seen her look at him so closely. “You fool, I keep telling you you can’t handle this on your own.”

『Ajimu-san, do you remember. The day I asked you if we could be a family?』  
  
“I might remember something like that..”

『That day, I wanted to tell you my real feelings, but I’m a coward and I knew I would be crossing a line so I chose ambiguous words. I could tell it made you happy, and you responded in your own way.』

“What does that old memory matter? I’m the only one who sees this world the way you do, I’m the only one who can help you..”

『That neutral policy of yours though, as long as you have it you’d never be able to love anyone. Those who stand above others, are incapable of loving those below them. I slowly realized that, as I got to know you. To exist, requires others to look at you, but also for you to look at others. Since you’ve never showed a bias towards anyone, you haven’t done either.』  
  
“Is that what you think?”

『Yeah, that’s what I think. Even if I wanted to rely on you, I couldn’t. When I look at you it’s like there’s nothing that’s there at all.』

Kumagawa said, and then before Ajimu could even reply suddenly a hand appeared out of nowhere and grabbed Kumagawa by the tie around his neck, yanking him to sit up once more. He could tell from Junko’s eyes which looked so sharp they could cut right through him that she was jealous about seeing him in the lap of another woman.  
  
They walked along the winding path of the amusement park in contempible silence, until Kumagawa spoke up again holding his arm lazily behind his head and scratching at the side of his neck. 『Uhm… I would apologize but… It’s not really my fault you know.』  
  
“D-don’t get me wrong or anything…!” She immediately stopped walking and yelled out, bright red with embarrassment. “I...I don’t really mind… if you don’t care about me. Still, if it’s up to me, even though I’m unreliable… a-and I can’t just leave you be…” Then the tsundere act dropped and she poke in a cold voice. “Don’t get the wrong idea. I actually hate human garbage like you.”

『Are you just taking advantage of your tsundere status? To say whatever you want.』  
  
“Good for you, Misogi-senpai! You’re finally popular after all.”

『Huh? No way, I’m the hated and despised minus.』  
  
Junko only flatly stared at him. Just so he knew she was staring at him, she even said it in a deadpan voice. “Staaaaaare.” Then suddenly, she reached forward and grabbed him by the face putting her hand around the sides of his mouth and jerking his head forward. She quickly held up fingers as she began to count. “Ajimu-san, Medaka-chan, two, no wait Sukinasaki-san that's three girls you've played with before me. How does a loser like you end up charming so many girls anyway, all logic ceases to work around you. I'm happy my Senpai whose two years older than me who I admired for so long and finally started dating..." 

『What's this fantasy scenario she's created. Stop rewriting reality on a whim...』

"Is somebody so popular and beloved despite his claims of being hated. Don't worry I'm not actually the jealous type at all. I don't care if you're an adulterer." 

『I’m not committing adultery, I’m not even engaging in the adult part. I’m just a cute young boy you know! 』  
  
“So regardless of what you play, with whom, that is your choice. But if any of it every gets the slightest bit serious, I’ll kill you.”

『Awe, but I hate dying.』  
  
"Why do you hate dying so much?"  
  
『It's lonely, I guess.』

“ Don’t worry, I won’t let you die alone. I’ll send the other woman right after you? Then, I’ll send Mukuro so you don’t get lonely.”

『Don’t kill Mukuro-chan for my sake! Actually don’t kill her at all.』  
  
“It’s a joke, Mukuro is my older sister not yours, I wouldn't feel despair if she died for your sake not mine. I just want you to understand what it means to date me. As long as you don’t forget to whom you belong, that’s fine.”

Junko let go of him, and Kumagawa relaxed.『You’re the only one who I’d ever want to belong to anyway.』He said, brightening up and showing her a smile.  
  
_This possessiveness is the only way Junko’s ever been able to show her affection._ _  
_ _But it’s fine, it’s fine._ _  
_ _If I were shown normal love I probably wouldn’t even be able to recognize it._ _  
_ _To recognize yourself you need to be seen in others._ _  
_ _That is to say every interaction you’ve had up until now shapes your perception._ _  
_ _That’s why… I only recognize myself within dirty mud._

Kumagwa took Junko by the hand, and led her forward along the winding brick road looking for the castle that awaited them in the center of the island. When they finally made it to the castle, Junko noticed Nezumi castle was mouse themed.  
  
“Who models an amusement parK around a mouse. A cartoon bear makes a way more marketable mascot.”  
  
Speak of the devil, a bear stumbled past them looking at his own two cute front paws. “Ugh… ugh.. Ughh…!”

『Do you not like mice either?』  
  
Monokuma scratched at the back of his head blushing. “Well, I think we have a lot in common. More than you think, Enoshima Junk-oooohh Mice! I don’t like them one bit!”

_What a couple of loudmouths. I feel like my stress level just keeps rising around them._

『Let’s go inside already, I don’t really want to see you two exchange comedy notes.』Kumagawa said, tugging on her hand.  
  
“Eh? But Monokuma says we shouldn’t go inside. You can’t disobey our headmaster like that.”

『Ah, where has my beloved Junko gone? She’s been replaced by a girl who actually listens when other people talk to her. What witch’s curse is this?』  
  
“Fine, fine, I guess a princess is nothing without a castle.”

『Huh? What about her prince?』  
  
“Well, that too. Do you know any good prines, MIsogi?”  
  
『Don't be mean, Junko.』  
  
The castle on the inside was a wide and cavernous looking affair. If this world were perhaps an rpg, the only two items with any kind of interactable item description would be a spear which hung off the wall.  
  
To which Junko commented. “Oh, hey bet you that somebody is going to get stabbed with that later.”

『I’ll take that bet.』Kumagawa said, knowing he would probably lose that bet.  
  
There was also something carved into the floor, but it had been completely vandalized and scratched out. Enoshima Junko leaned over it, holding her hands on the markings in the stone.

『Hmmm, I wonder who possibly could have done that.』  
  
“These are screw marks.”

『I can’t think of anybody devilishly handsome or clever enough to use screws as their main weapon.』Kumagawa said, smiling at her.

Junko stood up and began to walk around once more. Casually, she folded her arms behind her back, and kicked at the open air with her legs. “Why did you want to come in here so badly, anyway?”

『Junko… what do you think happened to me in the mirror maze?』

“Unfortunately, I’ve never studied the actions of microscopic organisms, but if I had to guess you saw something weird?”

『I did see a weird guy.』  
  
“Well you were looking at your own reflection…”  She stared at the ground once more, and kicked at dust, until suddenly she changed her mind again. “Hey, let’s talk about love.”

『Didn’t we already talk about love before?』  
  
“This is love in a fairy tail. If you chase it like a prince on horseback, it’ll run. If you run like a princess, you’ll be chased. Things were going so well, and then it ends just like that. It ran away! What despair!” She said, grabbing at her own head and mocking a pose of total loss. “I’m just curious, which are you?”

『What if both sides run?』  
  
“Why would they do that?”  
  
『Because they’re afraid.』

“What’s so scary about love? You make no sense to me. You’re willing to accept any negative emotions, but it’s not like you’re bored of positive ones like me.”

『Fear of the unknown?』  
  
“Boo, that’s way too typical an answer. I don't’ want to do a lame theme like that.”  
  
_I convinced myself you would never love me._ _  
_ _So I took advantage of you._

『Saying ‘I love you like this’ isn’t that the same as saying “I won’t love you anymore if you stop being this way?” That’s why I thought you were the kindest girl in the world Junko, because you couldn’t love me. Ah, but that’s changed now hasn’t it?』

“Oh? How curious.”

『So, if I chased would that bring love to fruition? Wouldn’t the other side keep running and refuse to give me the fruit.』  
  
“You’re right. The chased will never give fruit to the chaser. If they did, the simple game will end.”

『Is kissing alone not enough? To obtain fruit?』  
  
“Kisses are perishable you know. They’ll be consumed, like apples. Things like true love’s kiss only exists in fairy tails.”

Kumagawa slowly started to walk towards her.  
  
“If you keep kissing without the fruit, you’ll end up being empty.”

『What’s wrong with being empty?』  
  
“If you become empty, you’ll be thrown away.”

『Who cares if you’ll be thrown away? You can kiss a hundred times over.』  
  
“If I do something that slow, my heart would freeze over. I’ll suffocate. What a boring death.”

『Your heart is already frozen. Then, kiss over and over until just before your  heart freezes over and you suffocate. 』  
  
Kumagawa was now so close, his long black hair fell away from the side of his face and tickled against hers.  
  
“That’s really pathetic, MIsogi.”  She said without blinking, her eyes empty taking in all of him.

『Who cares if you’re pathetic? You’ll get to kiss. Where’s the fun in burning up all at once? You won’t even be aware when it happens. If that’s the case, wouldn’t it be more fun if you freeze over from kisses? Maybe… kisses and biting into fruit is the same thing. 』

“...” Junko stared at him for a moment. “I think I’m losing track at what this is supposed to be a metaphor for.”  
  
_Biting into the fruit is a curse, right?_ _  
_ _A magic apple, poison or a curse it’s the same._ _  
_ _Like pricking your finger._ _  
_ _Then, there’s true love’s kiss._ _  
_ _Kissing is what cures the curse so you can go on living._ _  
_ _To me they’re the same though._ _  
_ _Living itself is a curse._ _  
_ _You can share the fruit though._ _  
_ _I wouldn’t mind, being cursed with you._ _  
_ _Ah, there’s no way I could say something so lame._

He suddenly held out his hand to her, across the great stone floor.『Hey, do you want to dance?』

Junko stared at his open hand for a moment. “Surprising, inexplicable, to be honest I didn’t expect it in the slightest.”

『You can just say yes, you know.』  
  
“I already told you I’m not easy.”

『There’s no way I’d ever call the world’s most difficult person easy. 』Kumagawa said as he tugged at her hand and spun her back around until she landed close in his chest. Junko was surprised when he seemed to know exactly where to put his hands. Every time they had danced before this, he had improvised, or just let her lead entirely.  
  
Kumagawa took the lead this time, their dance floated them around the floor spinning in wide circles, and taking even steps. A waltz to a melody only the two of them could hear, because their discordant brains just happened to be on the same wavelength.

『You know Cinderella?』  
  
“Mmm, my shoes are better than hers though..”

『When the clock strikes midnight, she changes back to her original self. She runs away, it’s like she forgot about herself. A forgetting princess. She’s the one the prince danced with after all, not the dress and the shoes.』  
  
“Mm, what a careless princess.”

『The prince doesn’t have the girl, he only has that one moment that one time they danced together. So it really is like she forgot, like she disappeared.』  
  
“So, what does the prince do?”

『He clings to the one thing that reminds him of that moment, and then keeps searching for her. He just wants to return to that moment, the moment they first danced, the moment they first fell in love. What if the prince couldn’t find her though, and it kept happening again and again? She would just show up at balls, dance with him, and then forget and repeat.』  
  
“Sounds really troublesome.”

『Maybe it’s better that way. Even if it’s painful being forgotten, that way they can keep dancing together. Maybe it’s the only way, because it’s ridiculous for a prince to fall in love with a cleaning girl once the ball ends and they’re back to reality.』  
  
Kumagawa spun Junko around once more, spinning her out from him and holding onto her by the hand the thin connection between them. They walked around each other slowly eyeing each other up.

 _Our love is…_ _  
_ _The kind that could only exist in a fairy tail._ _  
_ _By that I mean relationships like this are better off explored in fiction._ _  
_ _Fiction is neat and tidy, with themes and framing._ _  
_ _Reality is messy._ _  
_ _There’s no theme, meaning, or resolution at all._ _  
_ _When we get back to reality we’ll just hurt each other again._ _  
_ _That’s why I want to reset._ _  
_ _In this fake world we can keep existing.  
I'm sorry...   
That being told I love you didn't fix me. _

They both finished, out of breath, and staring at each other quietly, contemplating. Junko spoke up first, as she oft did. “Where did you learn to dance anyway?”

『You’d have more free time than you expect, in a killing game. Especially when I’m hated so no one wants to spend their free time events with me.』  
  
“Hmmm, likely story. I’ll buy it for now, I suppose.”

 

 ♛

 

Enoshima Junko and Kumagawa Misogi stood in front of the roller coaster. Before they could get on it though, suddenly a bear jumped in their way. “Rawr, too bad it’s under maintenance. This ride isn’t intense enough yet, so I’m powering it up.”

『I don’t think you need to do that… It’s not like anyone’s going to ride this anyway..』  
  
Junko quickly pinched Kumagawa on one of his cheeks. “Sew your mouth shut, and stop talking with your stinky breath. Don’t disrespect Monokuma-sensei’s hard work.”  
  
“Yeah that’s right, River Bear!”

『I think I can only handle one of you two bullying me at once, please don’t gang up on me.』  
  
“Besides, I prepared a prize for you.”

『I don’t really like roller coasters, and I don’t care about the plot since I’m not a main character soo….』 _  
_ _  
_ “Come on MIsogi, we’ll probably learn something juicy.” Junko said, as she grabbed him and started to force him on the roller coaster. Despite Kumagawa’s desperate struggles, he was buckled in in the seat next to her.  
  
“All aboard the Great Ultra-Delicious Coaster!” Monokuma said, before waving them off.

『I’m gonna die… I’m gonnna diiiiiiiiiiie!!!!!』Kumagawa screamed, foaming at the mouth. He much preferred their last trip to the amusement park where all the rides were broken down or the lines were too long due to his and Junko’s mutual combined bad luck while they were under bookmaker.

When they finally stepped off the coaster, Kumagawa tried to cling to Junko for dear life. So, of course she sidestepped him and let him fall colliding with the floor. Kumagawa rushed to the trash bins, and immediately crumpled over and threw up.  
  
“It’s your fault, why did you even eat so much today anyway? You never eat that much.” Junko looked to Monokuma, “More importantly, where’s my free stuff! Gimme, gimme!”  
  
“Oh, yeah right! Here you go! The treat is a file! Don’t forget about the secret of Hajime’s talent that I hid on this island, that’s probably around here somewhere still.”  
  
Junko picked up the file and paged through it. _Hope’s peak academy ironically became the site for the killing school life. The mastermind behind the plan, locked the students behind the doors and forced them to kill each other. The students who were pushed to their limit eventually reached a state of heightened paranoia. And… that’s how the killing began. The killings committed by the students lasted several days. Eventually the curtain fell. The students staged a counterattack against the mastermind, who paid for it with their life. WIth this, the six students who survived were able to escape the academy._ _  
_  
“Why… do you keep dropping hints about the killing game that never happened? I don’t get what narrative mystery you’re building for here, Monokuma-sensei.” When she looked up, the bear was already gone.

『Just ignore him, he’s probably just messing with you. That secret is probably something stupid like all the friends we made along the way. 』  
  
“Wait, there’s one more place we haven’t looked. Let’s go to the funhouse.”

『Junko, I don’t think we should go there. That place seems like an obvious trap.』  
  
“Then, that’s all the more reason to go. Do you really think they could build a cage that could contain me, Enoshima Junko-chan? Let’s go see what the mastermind has in store, I want to figure out what the twist is with Rando so I can rub it in his face.”

Junko skipped ahead of him. Normally, Kumagawa Misogi would struggle to catch up with her but in that moment he stayed a few steps behind her on purpose. He let his body slump forward, and the shadows fall over his face.  
  
It was all to conceal, a smile that was slowly growing on his face. Usually he had to force himself to smile, but as he thought about it he could not suppress a grin. Enoshima Junko was somebody capable of looking like an angel one moment and a devil the next, but Kumagawa looked like nothing more than a demon when he showed his true smile.

He knew from the moment Junko entered the fourth island, that she would take to the bait like a bear to honey. She could not help herself with secrets that beckoned sweetly, it was in her nature to know absolutely everything, that was probably why not being the mastermind this time around bothered her so much. She would even stick her paw in a beehive to taste get at that sweetness.  
  
_The secret isn’t in the funhouse._ _  
_ _Hinata Hajime is Izuru Kamakura, it’s so obvious even the readers probably know that by now._ _  
_ _But that’s not the real secret._ _  
_ _The secret is in the person whose always closest to you._ _  
_ _I’ve wanted to tell you so many times but…_ _  
_ _I thought that maybe…_ _  
_ _It wasn’t a monster._ _  
_ _A tool._ _  
_ _Or a murderer you needed._ _  
_ _That it was me, you needed._ _  
_ _But I was wrong._ _  
_ _After all…_ _  
_ _We’re only using each other…_ _  
_ _For our own ends…  
__Even so...  
I don't want to lose you.  
I want you to exist forever. _

Kumagawa hesitated in front of the train bearing Monokuma’s face. 『I… just need to get on this train, right?』  
  
“Where are all the other smaller humans, I mean children.” Monokuma asked, scratching at his head.  
  
“Ehhhhh? Aren’t we good enough for you, Monokuma-sensei? I mean I’m way cooler than anybody else on this island.” Junko said, tapping her foot in impatience. “Besides, they’re all boring and don’t want to play along with the killing game.”  
  
“I guess if you put it that way, it makes sense. You kids are pretty boring after all. Well, there’s really no need to be so cautious, River Bear. It’s not like it’s gonna speed up, drop, fly, or anything else.”  
  
『W-wait, Junko. We should think this twice about this! It’s scary!』  
  
“You big baby, come on. Something interesting, this way comes.”  
  
『The line is something wicked this way comes.』  
  
“Wicked things are usually the most interesting things.”

As soon as they both stepped in the small train started slowly moving and went into the dim tunnel. Monokuma’s voice echoed over the speakers. “Allow me to guide you all to the world of surprises on this train that runs towards glory. Please be careful of where you step. Don’t stand up all of a sudden. Well, it’s not like you have time to do that.”  
  
Suddenly, white smoke erupted from everywhere.

『I told you it was a trap.』  
  
“It’s not a trap if we knew it was a trap.”  Junko said, crossing her arms next to him.  
  
“Unless, I anticipated that you would know it was a trap and would fall for it on purpose anyway, thus making it a trap trap!”

『You two need to stop talking over each other. You’re both going to give me a headache.』Kumagawa said, or perhaps that was just the gas filling his lungs. His body felt heavy, then it felt light, and he slumped to the side his head resting on Junko’s shoulder while her head fell over his.  
  
As he fell asleep, he could not stop smiling.  
  
_That’s why I’m forgiving you for kidnapping me earlier._ _  
_ _Because really I was planning on doing the same to you._ _  
_ _  
_ The princess and the loser prince woke up together in a tower.  
It was a funhouse actually, but that does not fit the fairy tail otife as well.  
Junko was the first to react, as even with a hazy sense of reality her super highschool level analysis allowed her to compensate, recalculating how to move her body in seconds and picking herself off the floor.  
  
Kumagawa stood up on his own a few moments later.  
  
“Jeez what’s with all the fruit. This place is supes tacky.”

『Yeah, screws would be a way better design motife.』  
  
Monokuma said appearing between them. “Ah, didn’t I explain it to you? This is the motive  this time, an escape game!”

『You mean like Zero Escape?』  
  
“Stop referenceing Zero Escape! It’s not nearly as popular as Dangan Ronpa, nobody will know what you’re talking about. Gosh, I’m trying to give my big motive speech why do you have to ruin everything River Bear?”

『I like Zero Escape though. The twist at the end, is that the cute girl turns out to be the mastermind. It’s a really unique twist you know. I’ve never seen that before. It’s also the main characters childhood friend who engineered this whole situation.』  
  
Junko just stared at him, deadpanning.

:"Anyway, the concept this time is… a closed circle within a closed circle...Like Hope’s Peak Academy back then, this funhouse is a completely closed space. There’s only one way to get out of this building. WHen the killing begins! I’ll let you guys know when the next killing happens.:"

“But there’s just two of us here…” Junko started. “If one of us kills the other, it’ll be really obvious, like duh.”  
  
“Well, you’re the girl with a supercomputer for a brain. Not literally of course, could you imagine having a supercomputer for a brain that’d be so annoying. Anyway, you figure it out. I’m outies!” The bear said before disappearing.

Kumagawa and Junko sat alone in the room, thinking for several minutes and making light conversation. Junko began to whine, suddenly. “I’m thiiiiiiirsty, It feels like I’m going to die. What did I ever do to deserve this, besides everything I mean.”

『Junko, it’s been like five minutes.』Kumagawa said, before he pulled out bottled water he had hidden in the inside of his jacket.  
  
Junko glared at his water bottle.

『You want something to drink?』  
  
“Well, yeah I guess.”

『Well then, I’ll drink it.』 Kumagawa said, tipping the water bottle back and taking a drink right in front of her.  
“Ehhhhhhhh?”

『I’m just kidding.』Kumagawa said as he removed the bottle from his lips, and tipped it back towards her.

“...This is an indirect kiss you know.”

『We kiss all the time. You’re… more maidenly than I thought you’d be.』  
  
Junko accepted it, and quietly drank from the water bottle.

『Well anyway, let’s contact the others.』  
  
“How are we supposed to do that?”

『You have a skill that lets you see through others eyes, remember. Parasite seeing ½. Ajimu gave it to you.』

“Oh, yeah. I forgot about that, that I had a geass all along.” Junko said as she posed covering her one eye with her hand’s two extended fingers.

『Aren’t you supposed to be the genius here? Use the skill on Medaka-chan. She’ll copy the skill, and use it to look through my eyes to see where we are.』

Junko nodded. She struck another unnecessary pose, as she concentrated and hacked into Medaka’s vision. Medaka noticed immediately, and suddenly they were having a two way conversation with a pad and paper.

Hajime Hinata had been having a peaceful dinner, with the two troublemakers gone all day for once. When suddenly, Kurokami Medaka asked for a pen and paper which her Gopher, Hitoyoshi rushed to go find.  
  
She wrote out a message from Kumagawa MIsogi, and Enoshima Junko. It detailed what the motive for the fourth round in the killing game was, an escape game where only the two of them were trapped in that building.  
  
“Huh… Kumagawa is telling me something else.” Medaka said, all of a sudden.    
  
Then she wrote down the words. Hajime saw those words appear before him in slow motion.

 _Hajime Hinata is a member of the reserve course._ _  
_ _That is how I knew his name from before we first met, before he introduced himself to me._ _  
_ _I remember seeing him in the reserve course._ _  
_ _You were there when I first saw him, you can confirm this Nagito-chan._ _  
_ _You were asking who the traitor is earlier, right?_ _  
_ _It’s most likely him._ _  
_ _That’s the secret I’ve been hiding all this time._

For Hajime, the entire world seemed to freeze. As he finally heard, the thing he had wanted to hear the least, the thing he feared hearing the most.  
  
Elsewhere a clown was laughing.  
Kumagawa Misogi was laughing at him.

 _I’m sorry for talking on this long._ _  
_ _I’ll return the narration to the main character after this._ _  
_ _Having to be subjected to my awful voice this long is probably disgusting._ _  
_ _I just wanted to explain it to you.  
_ _I can't help but desire the things I can't have.  
_ _Even though I’m not a main character I want to win._


	31. Smile at Despair in the Name of Laughter (3 - First Class x Second Class)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some parts of DR3 are okay.

_Welcome to Hope’s Peak Academy._ _  
_ _A one of a kind campus for one of a kind talents._ _  
_ _It’s a preparatory school without equal in all of Japan._ _  
_ _What would that feel like?_ _  
_ _To harbor some special skill?_ _  
_ _To walk through the gate into the Academy’s Main School because I belong there._ _  
_ _One problem, I don’t excel at anything._ _  
_ _No sports, no music or cooking._ _  
_ _I’m just average._ _  
_ _  
_ Hinata Hajime hesitated in front of the main campus gate. He had a habit which the other students made fun of him for, walking all the way to the gate every morning, only to turn back around and double the distance back to his true destination. The reserve course building on the opposite side of the campus.  
  
He just wanted to keep it in mind. His destination. The place he dreamed of more than anything else. As he walked away, he always watched several more colorful characters cross his path. Each of them the main characters of their own lives, each of them worthy of being called extraordinary. As he walked the opposite direction from them, it felt like he was running away. Even though all he wanted was to stand among these people.  
  
Today he was not merely gazing at Hope’s Peak. Today, he had seen the shadow of what had been such a radiant dream. Both Kuzuryuu Natsumi, and Sato were found murdered. The academy gave absolutely no word at all on what happened to them. His classmates. Even though he could still see the flower vases on their empty desks every morning, they were being treated like they were unimportant. Like all of the reserve course members were irrelevant to this case.

 _Irrelevant._ To this day, Hinata still did not know what irked him more on that day. He wanted to believe he was a good person, that he genuinely was upset enough by the deaths of two classmates to go investigating on his own. That he wanted to protect the rest of his classmates. However, he had not been good friends with either of those people. He had found Natsumi to be pushy and arrogant, Sato to be clingy and unstable. He had only brushed up against either of them a few times. After all, he was famously unpopular in the reserve course. Even though they were all second class students, weak people often banded together and formed friendships in envy of the strong. There were friend groups at the Reserve Course, because it really was just like any other high school.  Hinata however, had always seen the Reserve Course as a temporary place, a place where he did not belong, he always had his eyes fixated on Hope’s Peak and because of that everybody thought he was haughty, they thought he mistakenly believed he was better than them. Even though he was not close to his classmates, he wanted to believe he cared about them… but perhaps what bothered him more was being told that their deaths were none of his business. When he had seen them alive, when he had learned both of their stories, he had been powerless to prevent tragedy from happening. He was not a main character, merely a side character in both stories and now he was being told not to participate.

Those target-like eyes of his which always looked at Hope’s Peak with admiration from the sidelines, narrowed suddenly and for the first time that admiration became mixed, envy, possessiveness and from these unpleasant emotions determination. He wanted to be a good person, to feel the right things in this situation… he would be a good person when he finally stood up for himself and found his confidence. Until then he would force himself to feel anger, in response to the feeling that hollowed out his chest when he heard heard the news about Natsumi and Sato. He shut out all feelings of _if I had been able to understand their feelings more at the time then perhaps…_ and focused only on the lingering sentiment of _if only I had talent._

He took a single step forward, and like there was a laser beam meant specifically to detect losers at the gate that he had tripped a guard immediately called out from behind him. “Freeze kid, that’s a reserve course uniform where the hell   do you think you’re going?”  
  
“I won’t be long. I need to ask Koizumi in the main course a question.”  
  
“No way.”  
  
“But, she...” _She needs me. She’s a person just like me. She’s no better than me._ He came up with several retorts but they all died on his tongue. He was not sure enough in himself to say any of them even if they should have been true. They were just platitudes after all meant to assuage the weak.  
  
“No buts about it, you know the rules.”  
  
Hinata shut, him out and tried to duck out of the way of the sickly blue hand that reached for him. He did not even see a single detail on that security guard’s face. Unlike him, that man was just an annoyance, he was just getting in the way. He was grabbed by the shoulder and thrown back across the line. “Nnrrgffhhh…”  
  
Koizumi’s friend had died. He had not been able to do anything about it, even though he had known both Sato and Natsumi. Now, when he was trying to make up for it he was stopped by a single guard. “W-wait, I need to get in there-” He wanted to shout in the man’s face, but his voice squeaked like a mouse.  
  
Then suddenly, he felt something tighten around his neck. _It felt like a noose. To remind me of my own powerlessness. All I could do is dangle there and watch my feet sway back and forth without touching the ground._ He was dead lifted into the air by the back of his uniform, and thrown away like trash. Roughly, his back slammed into the ground and he coughed up all the air in his lungs at once. “Keeeehhh!”

“Rules don’t apply to you, is that it?” His eyes slowly came open again, and he saw that man’s back turned away from him. He was unlike the security guard, tall, imposing, an unbelievably strong looking back. Hinata could see every feature of him even with his face turned away. He had a character design that screamed importance, unlike him a background character with messy brown hair.

 _Look at me at least._ He cracked one eye open, sweat already heavy on his brow. Fear, and frustration mixing together, too much he was feeling too much. “I… know you…”

Finally, the man turned around showing two light pink eyes. They narrowed as his brow tightened in a look of disgust, looking down on him. Tan skin, and thick coarse hair which was parted on the side of his face. The corners of his mouth were upturned in a near permanent scowl. _The Ultimate Boxer, Juzo Sakakura. He was famous for being relentless, I’d looked him up online so many times. A graduate of Hope’s Peak. He once beat down an opponent who was considered a plucky newcomer and a genius of hard work, so severely that his opponent fractured his spine and a permanent injury stopped his rise to the top and caused him to drop out. He’s living proof that overwhelming talent and strength puts you in a different class of people, even those who work hard, or show determination. He’s allowed to act like that, to have enough confidence to stomp over others because he has talent._ “Then you know I’m in charge of security for all of Hope’s Peak. I’ll let it go just this once, now get the hell out of here.” Juzo only looked at him for a few brief seconds, before turning his head and walking away like he was nothing. He might as well have spit on him.  
  
Hinata could not think of what else to do, he was at his rope’s end. He started to crawl forward pathetically. _I want to help Koizumi. Just tell him that._ “Hold on! I wanna know the truth not the version they’re feeding us in class. What happened… please just tell me…” He was on his knees in front of this man. He had… been more honest then he intended to be. _Why can’t I know? Why am I being left out._

Hinata saw while Juzo’s head was still turned, a smile crack on his face. He turned around suddenly, cockily holding his hand underneath his chin. “You want the truth, huh? Well hold on to your ass.”  
  
“Y-yeah…” Hinata stuttered, not knowing what to expect next.  
  
“Miss Kuzuryuu was killed by an unknown intruder on school grounds, and Miss Sato died from the shock of losing a classmate. Wish I had more to tell you, but I don’t.” He removed his hand from his chin, making a motion with it as if he was flicking away the ashes of a cigarette butt he stared somewhere past Hinata with narrowed eyes, as if he was not even there.  
  
“Don’t lie to me!” Hinata felt his blood pressure rising, at this person’s refusal to acknowledge him. He felt his teeth rubbing against each other. _I’m this angry, huh? Why? Because I lost my classmates? Or because…_ “You’re just trying to sweep the killings under the rug to sweep your precious academy.” _This place was supposed to be… my dream._

“There’s a waiting list for the reserve course, everyone wants a spot. Their desks will be filled before their bodies have gotten cold.” Juzo brushed his large hands, through the thick locks of his hair.  
  
“What did you just say? You bastard-” _Do something. Do anything. Just show him that you’re something._ He rushed forward and swung. Even if he had no talent, Juzo was not even taking him seriously he was posing and running his hand through his hair just like he was some kind of model, he had the art of surprise. He rushed forward and threw everything, his anger, frustration, indignation at a punch. Juzo sidestepped him and ropped his hand from his hair on reflex alone. That was it, that was the talent he so craved. Juzo’s confidence ina  fight was so great the expression on his face barely changed from Hinata’s attack. He turned around and swung wild with his other hand, but suddenly his hand stopped and only grasped at empty air. He looked down to see a fist, twisting in his stomach. Juzo had countered him perfectly, faster than he could even see.  
  
How long had Juzo been throwing punches? How many punches did he thorw a day? How did he know, that he had an aptitude for fighting. It must have been, years, and years, and years of Juzo knowing who he was, and what he wanted, and confidently striding down that path. Yet, Hinata thought that on a whim he could overcome Juzo, and be somebody important in this murder case. He had only talked to those girls for the first time a few weeks ago. Everything he did was just so half assed, grasping at importance. One blow was all it took, to shatter that fake confidence of his. He collapsed to his knees, hacking wildly as he tasted his own blood. _It tastes metallic._ He did not even remember getting in a fight before this. He really had lived a life where nothing at all out of the ordinary happened, and yet he thought he could challenge a Super High School Level Boxer who had taken down countless opponents. Blood leaked from the corner of his mouth, his eye seized in pain and he shut one of them.  He could not remember ever being in this much pain, and it was only one hit. That was as much as he could endure.  
  
Juzo’s knuckles had not even been blemished from dealing the final blow. He dusted them off. “The only skill you kids bring to the table is getting daddy to cut you a big check. Useless in life, and a hassle in death. You bring down the whole place either way, pitiful.” _Ptoo._ He had just been talking metaphorically earlier, when he said Juzo might as well have spit on him. But now he felt it, sticky and wet, sliding down the side of his face. He was in so much pain he could not even move his hand to wipe his face and preserve his dignity. _What dignity? You’re just a screaming child, making demands._  
  
“So what if they weren’t one of your precious elite students. Our lives are all worth the same.” _Is that it? Is that why I’m so angry right now? Sato, and Natsumi… They  were nothing in life and death. I don’t want my story to end like that. I don’t want to be stepped on by…_

The moment he thought that, Juzo brought his foot down hard on his back causing Hajime to hack up more blood. Just when he thought the pain could not get worse, Juzo twisted his foot to dig his heel in. “No, grow up kid. You can’t make diamonds out of empty beer bottles. Why don’t you go run along and plan, go crawling back to your dead end buddies. Go delude yourselves into thinking you’re someone. Go on. I can read you like a book, hung out with an elite and now you’re all uppity. Not gonnna lie, it’s what I hate about you normals the most. Get a little attention from your betters and you cling onto them like a leech.”  

The words he said, they were so familiar. It took Hajime a moment to realize why. They were the same words his insecurities whispered to him constantly. What Juzo said right now, was no different than what he had always believed, what the him that longed for talent more than anything else wanted to believe. That talent was better, that it would make him a better person. Yet, he suddenly wanted to reject everything Juzo said. “Y-you’re wrong. Can’t you see?”  
  
“What?”  
  
“There’s more to life than just being talented.”  
  
“I think you’re onto something. You’re right. For a drone such as yourself, there’s all sorts of things you can focus on, like toiling for the sake of your masters. Turn off your brain and fit in your slot, anything more is futile. Be a good little dog and take to the collar and leash already. We’ll be sure to throw you the occasional bone.”  

 _That’s not it. That’s not what I believe. I really loved talent. I really wanted to hope for more, to be a better person._ Juzo’s words, the insecurity in his own head, he wanted to shut it all out, to reject all of it. He thrashed about and pushed himself up once more, swinging wildly at Juzo. Just by a stroke of dumb luck, the edge of his fist managed to brush against Juzo’s chin. Yet, even after landing a successful blow, the look in Juzo’s eyes was not pain but rather annoyance, at dealing with an unruly child throwing a tantrum.  
  
“I’m gonna send you to the hospital you ballsy little punk.” he suwng forward, but what stopped Juzo, what saved Hinata at that moment was nothing of Hinata’s own merit, nothing of his detmerination, just another person with talent deciding to intervene. Chisa stepped in front of Juzo’s fist without hesitation, and Juzo stopped for her. “Yukizome.”  
  
“Knock it off. Hinata, are you okay?”  
  
HInata only continued to grit his teeth.  
  
“You’re bleeding.” She offered hima tissue. Pity, for the talentless boy despairing at finally realizing his own station in life, that was just another form of looking down on him. He slapped her hand away. He could not even talk anymore, he just growled through his gritted teeth as he walked away.

 _Hey._ _  
_ _Nanami._ _  
_ _When I saw you, I wanted to be able to say._ _  
_ _Hey. I have a talent. Look at this crazy thing I can do._ _  
_ _I’m empty though._ _  
_ _I can’t do anything._ _  
_ _But you can take something empty and fill it._ _  
  
_

 ♛

 

“What the hell, are you saying that he’s the traitor? Answer me, Kumagawa…” Medaka said in a low bellowing roar, one of her eyes glowing an odd color. Her faithful liege Hitoyoshi Zenkichi quickly wrote down what she was saying and held it up in front of her face.  
  
At that moment Medaka stared off into space for a moment, and grabbed the pen again. She wrote out in a set of brackets.

『I dunno. It was just my guess. About Hajime-chan. It was not my fault, but it was my fault that I kept the secret for so long, so don’t be bothered by such a boring guy.』

As soon as he saw that phrase, the entire memory triggered in him at once. He looked at all the other reserve course students like they were minor characters who did not even get their faces drawn in. He could not even remember Kumagawa’s face, merely the distinct way he had of speaking, and how much he was agitated when Kumagwwa’s words rubbed up against his eardrums.  
  
Even if it was only a single memory, he had finally managed to recall something. He thought he would be happier than this. But the answer to the long mystery, all of that build up led to nothing more than an anti-climax. Komaeda described to him, an average existence is without hope or despair. That is what he felt in that moment, as disappointment qualified as neither hope nor despair, it was just an empty feeling.

Before Hinata could even open his mouth and speak what he felt, Komaeda spoke over him. His fingers were gripping onto the side of his face, dragging down his shallow, pale cheeks. “No, no, no, that’s not it. That’s a lie, that’s a lie, that’s a lie. Hinata-kun has an amazing talent I’m sure of it. Kumagawa-kun is just lying because he’s jealous. Yeah, yeah, that’s why Enoshima-san and Kumagawa-kun left to investigate the island alone, they knew they’d find information on Hinata-kun’s wondrous talent and be able to cover it up.”

That was the denial Hinata should have been sinking into. If he really believed in himself, he would fight against what Kumagawa said. Yet, at the moment all he felt was a calm kind of acceptance, or perhaps resignation. He had always known he was nothing after all. Komaeda had believed in him far more than he had ever believed in himself. “I… I remembered something. A memory from when I was in the reserve course. Kumagawa, isn’t lying.”  
  
Komaeda turned around slowly, and stared back at Hinata. He would remember the look in Komaeda’s eyes in that moment forever, as it was exactly the way Juzo had locked down on him on that day. A smile spread against Komaeda’s face, as he changed tunes as quickly as he always did. Hinata failed to understand his inner workings so much in that moment, he might as well have been watching a performer on stage switch masks. He could only read the surface level. “Hmmm… in that case. I nominate Hajime!”  
  
“... Huh?”

“I agree with Kumagawa-kun after all. You must be the traitor.”  
  
“What… but I…Why are you suddenly saying this Nagito, you never agree with him on everything!”  
  
“Well, isn’t it normal to doubt the most unlikely candidate? If we’re basing this on an outsider hiding among a group of Ultimates,you’re the one who should be doubted right away.”  
  
Kurokami Medaka who was trying to learn to doubt others, was the first to turn. “You’re the traitor, Hinata?”  
  
“O-of course not!? What are you even saying!?” Hinata yelled back.  
  
Komaeda merely crossed his arms, looking down on him further. “You shouldn’t raise your voice like that. We might become even more suspicious of you, you know?”  
  
“This… this isn’t my fault. This is obviosuly your fault! It’s Kumagawa’s fault! He… he has to be the traitor not me! He doesn’t have talent either!”  
  
“Yes, but Kumagawa has always been up front with what variety of person he is recyclable or trash. He didn’t do something so bold, as try to lie to us about being an Ultimate so he could fit in.”

“I… I wasn’t lying… I really didn’t remember.”  
  
“It’s convenient, then that you just so happened to be the only one of us with missing memories when none of the rest of us had our memories taken away. It’s convenient that you made a big mystery of what your talent was, so we all focused on you and pretended like you were some special existence at the center of us all. You made everyone help find your talent, you took center stage at the class trials…”  
  
“I wasn’t trying to do any of that! I’m not trying to trick anybody, you’re… you’re the one always trying to trick others.” Hinata Hajime took a few dizzying steps forward and reached out for Komaeda clinging to his jacket. “Hey, this is just another one of your tricks right now, right? You… you don’t doubt me like that, right?”  
  
“What are you trying to do? I’m not going to throw you a bone, even if you lick my feet.” Komaeda said, looking like he wanted desperately to thumb his nose at Hajime if only Hajime would stop clinging to him and let his hands free.  
  
Hajime’s lips trembled. The same lips that had kissed Komaeda just yesterday. “You… you said you believed in me…”  
  
“That’s enough! We don’t have time for all of you to argue like children!” Kirigiri Kyoko said raising her voice. “We need to discuss what to do about the next motive. Kurokami Medaka-san, when I first met you you had a similar aura as Naegi-kun, you should be leading us right now not standing there looking confused.”  
  
“...” Kurokami merely looked down.  
  
It was Hitoyoshi Zenkichi who stood up protectively over her, growling like a dog. “Hey, her sister just died two days ago you have to give her time to mourn. She has feelings too, she’s a human just like you.”  
  
“I’m a detective, before I’m a human.” Kyoko reminded him again coldly, before folding her arms in annoyance. “Fine, we don’t need anything like a leader or an emotional core. Our numbers are so small at this point we can just discuss amongst ourselves as a group.”  
  
Komaeda gave an innocent smile. “What’s to discuss? This is a turn of good fortune! Both of the biggest enemies of hope have been locked away in that tower together. If we do nothing, they’ll either kill each other or both starve to death.”  
  
Hinata conjured up a terrible picture in his imagination. Kumagawa MIsogi and Enoshima Junko, lying overlapped, hand over hand, their bodies incredibly cold. For some reason, he was sure he was imagining it but… the picture was so crystal clear it seemed more like a memory. He was struck with a terrible de ja vu.”  
  
“There’s no way we can let Junko and Misogi-chan die!” Mukuro said, striking the table hard enough that all of the trays bounced.  
  
“Isn’t that always what you wanted though? To be free of that sister of yours? She’s the source of all your despair after all. Didn’t you already say, you don’t have any happy memories with her as a family?”  
  
“It’s not like I want her to die! How would that fix anything?”  
  
“That girl is never going to get better either, there’s no hope of reform for her, the kindest thing she could do would be to leave you alone for the rest of your life  
  
“Is that… is that my only choice? I either have to put up with the worst sister imaginable, or I lose her? This is… this is just like last time. The moment I finally stood up to her she died…”  
  
“Perhaps you haven’t changed after all, and you’re just clinging to your sister the same as always. Oh well, I can’t expect anything more from a talent that would willingly call herself a despair sister. The only way Enoshima-san can help others, would be if she were to kill Kumagawa-kun and then appear as an enemy for us all to defeat at the trial-”  
  
It was Kirigiri who spoke up again, as everybody else had been caught up in Koameda’s ranting. It was like a whirlpool which sucked in the rest of the attention of the room. “Enough! Sacrificing others to the killing game for our own survival would make us no better than Enoshima-san.”  
  
“Hmmm? Since when did you become so noble, Kirigiri-san. After all weren’t you perfectly willing to let Ikusaba-san get accused of being the murderer again and again even though you knew otherwise? Isn’t that treating her like a disposable sacrifice, just because of the sins she committed in the past?”  
  
Kirigiri grit her teeth. It was the first show of emotion the girl had given all game.  
  
“You’re the one most in touch with reality, your talent allows you to keep a cool head at all times and analyze everything from an objective point of view to pursue only the truth, that’s why you know sometimes sacrifices must be made. This isn’t the silly kind of story where everyone lives at the end. The role of a detecitve wouldn’t even exist if crime didn’t happen in the first place, right?”

Kirigiri finally spoke up through her gritted teeth. “Naegi-kun wouldn’t...”  
  
“He’s not here right now. I’m sorry to say you’re stuck with me, the inferior version and my much weaker hope. You know what I think though, if Naegi-kun were here, you’d take advantage of his naive and trusting nature, you’d test the nature of his hope, you’d throw him to the sharks and see if he could swim. Just like you’re doing to Ikusaba-san, and just like I would do.” Komaeda spoke, his words picking up, gaining momentum, becoming increasingly more twisted as they did like the way wind picked up in a storm before becoming a twister. As he spoke though, Komaeda’s body was strangely calm. He walked forward and reached for Kirigiri Kyoko, his hands brushing lightly against her face. She had always brushed her fingers through her own lilac hair to calm herself. However, at that moment Koameda’s own pale fingers combed through her hair slowly.  
  
She balled her fingers into a fist. Kirigiri had never wanted to strike at someone more than she did at that moment. However, she could not bring herself to ove. She could not come up with any logical counter to Komaeda’s arguments. They had a twisted sort of logic to them, that her straightforward nature was not meant to counter. As she tensed up though, she saw something from the corner of her eye.  
  
Ikusaba Mukuro slapped Komaeda’s hard against his cheek. His head whipped the other way, and his pale cheek reddened. He let go of Kirigri immediately, and reached up to touch his cheek. The corner of Komaeda’s eyes watered up. Mukuro recognized that face, it was the same face Kumagawa made right before he was about to cry and beg for mercy. “I… I’m sorry for talking out of turn. Because of me, everybody’s mood is ruined.” He said before turning to walk away and leave.  
  
“Nagito-chan. You shouldn’t lie, you don’t want Misogi-chan to die either, right? I know that… because we were all such good friends in the student council weren’t we?” Mukuro asked, calling out after him. “You looked like you were in so much pain right now… I just wanted you to snap out of it... I’m sorry I hit you.”

“You’re mistaken.” Komaeda said without looking back. “How do you even know about friendship? Enoshima-san starved you for love so much that you mistook a boy smiling at you for affection. I’m sorry for interrupting your meeting, I won’t meddle any longer. Please come together now that the troublesome element has been removed.”

As Komaeda finally left, all the others could do was gape after him. WIthout his manic words filling the air between them, it was almost like the air was empty for lack of him. The one to finally speak up, was Pekoyama who often watched things quietly from behind her discerning glasses.  
  
She hit Hajime who was still in shock on the back. “Get out of here.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“You don’t belong here either, so go after him.”  
  
“I… do you think I’m the traitor… I…”

“From the start, Komaeda’s always been a priorirty for you right? You don’t have to concern yourself with all of us anymore.”

Hinata grit his teeth again. He could feel it, their eyes on him. They all looked like Juzo did on that day. They were all insisting he did not belong here. He had no other recourse, like a dog with his tail between his legs, he ran. He ran after Nagito, the only other person on this island who could no nothing more than watch from the sidelines and observe those with talents just like him.  
  
Yes, watching, that was all he had been doing all along, right? That was all his efforts amounted to. He was just another member of the audience, one of the crowd. Fans of fiction got attached to eccentric characters, because they could imagine themselves outside of their boring lives and living the lives of the extraordinary. They never cared about them as people. That was what he had been doing to those on the island all this time.  
  
Unable to face that part of him, he ran away.

  
  
 ♛

 

Hinata ran as fast as he could to catch up with Komaeda. Now that he knew he was not the super high school level track and field runner, he ran at quite an average pace and only just barely caught up with him. He followed the boy’s footprints in the beach, kicking up the sand wildly as he did.

When he finally caught up he was entirely out of breath. He was not the Super HIgh School Level marathon runner either. He gripped his own uniform pants, trying to stay standing. He was afraid, terribly afraid that if he did not catch up to Komaeda in that moment that Komaeda might disappear from him forever.  
  
He had seen Komaeda reach out to him many times, but this time Hinata was the one grasping forward. However, with Nagito’s back turned to him he was afraid if he touched Nagito in that moment, he would lash out like Juzo did, he would spit on him like Juzo did, he would turn his head back and look down on him like Juzo did. “Nagito. I wasn’t trying to lie, I wasn't lying to you… I’d never lie to you. I… I always suspected I was from the reserve course so I tried to tell you so many times.”  
  
“If you suspected you were from the reserve course, then why did you waste so much of my time trying to chase after what kind of talent you had together…” Komaeda said without turning around.  
  
“You… you believed in me. I didn’t want to disappoint you. You kept treating me like I was some special existence, remember… when you called me the Utlimate Serenity? I wanted to be that person for you. I wanted it more than anything.”  
  
“It’s like I always thought. Your existence is sepcial. Because you’re just some Reserve Course student from the Reserve Department. Essentially, you’re like a substitute or a second string. Even that is in name only.  Which means you’re just a stepladder… but you should feel honored. An average, talentleess, human can be put to good use for those who are known as mankind’s hope.”  
  
“Wh-what the hell does that mean?”

Komaeda raised a hand in front of his face, his finger curling around his lip. Hinata could not see his face, but he had memorized already the many different kinds of faces that Komaeda made. When he gestured like that with his finger, he usually looked at some far off place, as if his eyes were searching for something nobody else could see. “Perhaps you simply weren’t determined enough. Did you admire hope…? Were you willing to sacrifice your body and soul to attend Hope’s Peak Academy? Or maybe… you were just obsessed with Hope’s Peak Academy like a fangirl following the latest trend.”  
  
“It’s not like that...I” _For your sake, I wanted to become hope. I wanted to become the hope you needed._  
  
“... wanted to become hope!? If that’s what you’re thinking, just stop it. Listen carefully… The only humans worthy of becoming hope possess amazing talents and a strong will. And… the moment you’re born into this world, you either have that or you don’t. It has nothing to do with effort, you must be chosen by hope to become hope. That’s why… it’s not even worth admiring.. Or were you so blinded by your admiration for Hope’s Peak Academy that you couldn’t even see that?.”  
  
“...gh!”

“You’re just some nobody from the reserve course who never had a talent to begin with. A nobody who forgot he was a nobody… that’s all.”  
  
“Then… I… ghh…wait, why did you accuse me of lying then?”  
  
“I knew from the start you weren’t lying, don’t worry about that. Somebody so stupid and dull from the reserve course could never hope to fool Ultimates. To be honest… it was more like, a joke maybe? I thought it was so laughable, so absurd, I said it aloud…”

“I don’t… I don’t get it… So you believe me then? That I wasn’t an Ultimate? That I wasn’t trying to deceive anybody?”  
  
“That’s right you were never an Ultimate. You had no talent whatsoever.”

 _I… I… don’t have any talent…_ _  
_ _I’m just an ordinary highschool student._ _  
_

“Awe, I feel sorry for you… Are you shocked to learn that you were the only one who didn’t have a talent…? But still, if you think about it positively, it looks like there’s no more reason to doubt you. Now that we know who you are… a normal, average, utterly unremarkable high school student… There’s no way you could be associated with the future foundation.”  
  
“Then, why did you tell everybody you agreed with Kumagawa back there!? You’re not making any sense again!”  
  
“I told you it was just a joke, don’t hink about it too deeply. I mean, me agreeing with Kumagawa, that’s utterly laughable…” Komaeda broke into laughter just then. It was exactly as Hinata feared. He wanted Komaeda to look at him more than anything else right now, he wanted to look the other in the eye and talk things out with him but each laugh that left Komaeda’s lips was a dagger in him.  
  
All this time, Hinata had seen this side of Komaeda. The ugly side he showed towards Kumagawa, constantly shutting him out, constantly looking down on him. However, he had forgotten about it, because he believed he was someone with talent, because he believed Komaeda looked up to him. Now though, not only Kumagawa, but Hinata was now talentless too. He would be treated that way by Komaeda.  
  
“N-nagito. So, that’s it? Even after all we’ve been through, are you going to start hating me like Kumagawa? Are you going to be ungrateful for everything I did for you, because you only care about talent?”

“Since when did you start calling me Nagito?”  
  
“I… I don’t know, it just felt natural so-”  
  
“You’re rather rude, and also arrogant assuming you can be on such informal terms with a real student from Hope’s Peak. You just want to be important, so you decided on your own to start acting like you were important to people. Just like you decided on your own, that I hate Kumagawa.”  
  
“What…? But you do hate him! All you ever say is nasty stuff to him! You guys fight every single time you’re in the same room together!” Hinata threw his arms at his side. He was so desperate, he would cling to anything. “You’re the rude one! Kumagawa cured your disease! He made all your bad luck go away! Yet you treat him like total crap because he doesn’t have talent. You’re the one who wants to be imporant, you just push Kumagawa down and look down on him so you’ll have someone to feel superior to.”  
  
“Hinata-kun. Do you know what happened to Kumagawa-kun when he erased my bad luck?”

“...? He kind of makes no sense to me at all, so no.”  
  
“He erased the results of my bad luck. However, in order to do that he needed to be always by my side. That meant, when the bad luck he needed to erase hit, he was in the blast radius. I saw him be stabbed by iron bars, get hit by cars, get falsley accused of crimes, get caught up in explosions, get stabbed, get beaten up, get attacked by animals, get maimed, get burned. All things that happened because he insisted on being by my side. And yet, never once did he blame me. He kept trying to be my friend all that time. He smiled at me, and forgave me over and over again. Do you think I could hate a person like that?”  
  
“No…”  
  
“All I ever did was cause him pain when I was around him. Kumagawa already had the worst luck of all, and somehow I made it worse. I’m not selfish like Enoshima-san.” Komaeda turned around finally. The cold eyes that Hinata was expecting were not there. Komaeda looked at him with desperate, pleading eyes. “It would be better, if he hated me.”  
  
“I don’t…” He had no idea what those eyes wanted from him though, perhaps Hinata had never known.  
  
“That’s right, you don’t understand. I have never once understood you, and you have never once understood me. Anything further is pointless, since you’re not an Ultimate and I only care about talent after all.”  
  
“That’s not true… you said we were like. That we were both miserable bystanders. We… we can understand each other.”

“What did you say in response to that?”  
  
“I’m not miserable… I’m different from you…” Hinata repeated, in a low droning way.  
  
“Exactly, you’ve been saying it all along. That we’re not alike. So let’s just leave it at that.” Komaeda said, as he finally turned away. With his head turned, and his white hair fallen over his face in many, any spirals and tangles, Komaeda whispered under his breath. “I cannot live with you, nor without you.”  
  
“What does that mean…”  
  
“Nevermind it, it’s something I remembered just now.”  
  
Hinata fell to his knees on the beach. He was so exhausted from running, and whatever emotion he had keeping him up had drained out of him. He felt cold, unbelievably cold. He felt  emptiness that had gripped him when he lost Chiaki, like a fresh breeze blowing through a great cavern, whistling through its vast hollowness.  
  
That was why he had needed the others so much. A cavern could produce no noise of its own. It was nothing more than an empty hole after all. The only noise it could make, were the echoes of others.  
  
He just wanted to echo their laughter, to laugh with them, to echo their strength, to be strong with them.  
  
He saw Komaeda walking away still, and reached forward once more. He had stopped himself before from reaching out, but this time he did not care even if it made him look desperate. As he reached for the pale figure of Komaeda though, something strange happened. He saw watercolors blur around Komaeda, and the world became a mix of those blurred colors. It was like watercolors left out in the rain.  
  
However, the further Komaeda got away from him, the further the colors did as well. Until the entire world became washed out, devoid of color.

  
  
 ♛

 

Hinata sat in a movie theatre in the middle of the third island, eating stale popcorn as he watched Monokuma’s masterpiece for the tenth time in a row. After he had been told to sit out of the strategy meetings, and told off a second time by Komaeda he had stopped caring that much about hope or despair.  
  
He had just sought out whatever he could think of was best to dull his senses. If he was going to feel nothing but pain, then it was probably better to feel nothing. He had gotten so pathetic, that even Monokuma who has an unlimited supply of iconic lines and witty material had gotten tired of making fun of him and left him alone in the theatre.

Just then out of nowhere, a single shining light appeared in the poorly lit theatre. Next to him, HItoyoshi Zenkichi sat down and grabbed a handful of popcorn, shoving it in his mouth. “Hmm… Why are you eating this anyway, it tastes like mush”  
  
“As the human personification of mush, I might as well eat average tasting food.” Hinata said, staring down into the popcorn bucket. _Why is this guy bothering me, anyway?_ _  
_

“Wow, you’re kind of a drama queen you know that? No wonder you and Komaeda are always hanging out together. Ehehe-ehehehe.” Zenkichi said, ribbing him and breaking out into a fit of boyish chuckles.  
  
Even though Hinata had been trying to get to know all the Hope’s Peak Academy students, he had been avoiding Zenkichi and Medaka up until this point. Perhaps, because the two of them seemed like a package deal… No, the one he had a problem with was Medaka. She wass such a perfect, such a complete existence hat he felt nothing but inferior around her. There was no way a girl like her could need someone like him, so he just left her alone.

“Well, anyway I’m bored of this movie. I don’t really get this Dada stuff anyway.”  
  
“Dada?”  
  
“You know, like art that isn’t art? Haven’t you ever read about that?”  
  
“Aren’t you supposed to be the dumbass but friendly type? If you turn out to be smart then you’ll lose all of your appeal.”  
  
“Heheehehehe, it’s not like that I just pick up a little bit of everything from spending so much time with Medaka-chan.” He stood up and started to stretch. If Monokuma were around he might yell at him for standing up and obstructing the screen while his masterpiece was playing.  Zenkichi readjusted his glasses. “Come on, let’s go swimming it’ll be way more fun.”  
  
“What are you doing? Don’t you think I’m the traitor.”  
  
“Well, if you’re the traitor I’ll just kick your ass it’s no big deal.”

“Why would I want to hang out with somebody who just threatened to kick my ass?”  
  
“Are you saying that the mere idea of hanging out with me, is somehow worse than this movie? That’s really mean you know…” Zenkichi said, scratching at the back of his head self consciously.  
  
“N-no… Fine, whatever…”

Hinata had just wanted to be left alone in that moment, and suddenly before he knew it he was walking with the other boy back to the beach.  
  
“Why do you want to go swimming so badly anyway?” Hinata aksed.  
  
Zenkichi was walking casually, with his arms folded behind his head. He was the very picture of carefree, the kind of person you might see enjoying themselves on this island if they were not in the middle of a killing game. “Well, the first day we got here you were the only one that didn’t get to swim, right? I mean before Monokuma pulled all that nonsense.”  
  
“Yeah…”  
  
“Well, do you regret that?”  
  
“Yeah…”  
  
“Then, you should swim now. It’s better to live a life without regrets, right?”  
  
“You make it sound so easy…” _This guy really…_ _  
_ _  
_ It was not until they made it to the beach though, that Hinata remembered the obvious. He looked to Zenkichi, who was dressed in a black and gold uniform with a pair of glasses, and then to himself who was wearing the usual button up shirt he always wore. “Neither of us are wearing a swimsuit, you know…”  
  
“Yeah, so what? You know if you keep making excuses you’re not going to enjoy life.”  
  
“Will you quit lecturing me, you sound like a human motivational poster…” Hinata grumbled, without realizing what Zenkichi meant before turning his head casually to see that the other boy was undressing.  
  
Hitoyoshi Zenkichi had an incredibly rough looking body, just like Kumagawa. It was pushed to the limit and broken over and over again only to be reformed into something stronger. None of the signs of weakness on Kumagawa’s body were there with Zenkichi, he had a proper diet, his muscles were all carved from his body by careful work over the years.  
  
Scars for Kumagawa were mere signs of his survival, but for Zenkichi they were battlescars. Kumagawa was scarred when he lost, but Zenkichi was scarred when he won. There were several marks like bitemarks, and sword impact scars on his back that made Hinata wonder for a moment what kind of life this boy had led up until this point. Despite all the conflict he seemed to have been part of, he had a much sunnier disposition than Kumagawa ever would.  
  
Perhaps because, he willingly was dragged into that conflict for the sake of the girl he loved. Hinata’s eyes traveled down that boy’s radiant body, and found that even past his well chiseled stomach, his hips as well as his thighs and legs were muscled as well. As Zenkichi stepped out of his pants and turned away from Hinata walking forward towards the water, Hinata could even see the slope of his back. The way all his muscles seemed to move together as he walked like beautiful clockwork. The confidence he carried himself with. For a  moment, Hinata could understand why Komaeda had fallen for this boy.  
  
He realize dhe was being left behind, and did not want that a second time. Much less coordinated than Zenkichi, he stumbled out of his clothes and jumped into the water. He caught up to Zenkichi, though he was not the Ultimate Swimmer so he did not swim with any particular grace. “So… what are we supposed to do now?”  
  
“Have fun!”  
  
“How am I supposed to have fun?”  
  
“Do… do you want me to tell you how to have fun?”  
  
“N… no…” Hinata said, before ducking under water to swim away. He wondered if the other boy was just pitying him right now. He just wanted to escape from this moment. It was then he remembered, the person he always met when he was near the water.  
  
Hinata took a deep breath and then dived down underneath the surface of the water. He could vaguely here Zenkichi calling out to him as he went. “Huh? What’s up? Do you want to compete to see who can hold their breath the longest? My friend Mogana would have both of us beat though, hahaha.”  
  
Hinata ignored him because he did not have the heart to tell such a sunshine like boy, that he was diving underwater to ignore him. He kicked with his feet, and dove down as deep as he could. Just when he was getting light headed, he finally saw that mass of black ink again.  
  
“I remembered!”

He spoke.  
Even though he was underwater, somehow he was able to speak.  
  
“I remembered I’m nothing but a useless reserve course student, so why don’t I remember you?”

**“...”**

“Are you the rest of my memories? Why don’t you just tell me who you are already? It’s not like it makes a difference anymore, I already know who I am.”  
  
**“You don’t even know anything.”**  
**“I am you. You are me. We just share the same body.”** **  
** “ **Have you heard of the cordyceps fungus? It’s a parasitic fungus that targets insects. The cordyceps fungus germinates moths and when spring is about to end, they turn into vegetation. Separate lives are struggling in the same body. That’s a bit like us. If you remember me, you won’t be able to exist anymore. You think you have nothing now, but you can always have less.”** **  
**

“Maybe… maybe I don’t want to exist anymore. If… if you really are that fungus then why don’t you just switch places with me? You’d be more helpful for them than I am now… If I can’t be anybody special then I might as well be-”

 **“This is boring.”** **  
**

“What?”  
  
**“It’s boring, watching you come to the same decisions over and over again.”** **  
** **  
** “I’m just trying to figure out who you are.”

**“You have so much more than me. You have a full range of emotions. You have reasons, motivations, wants, needs, you have everything and yet you still act so pathetically.”**

“I don’t want to be pathetic anymore! That’s the point! That’s why I wanted to be better! Why won’t you help me?”

 **“Pointless. We can’t coexist. Once you realize who I am it will all be over. It’s tiresome watching you.”** **  
** **  
** “What did I even do?”  
  
**“You… you’re a baby suffocating inside his own bottle. It’s appropriate that you’re naked right now, infant.”**

Hinata woke up.  
He looked around, to see a half clothed Zenkichi standing over him.  
He was on the beach, curled up in the fetal position naked.  
He saw Zenkichi’s look of concern, and realized he must have lost consciousness underwater and needed to be dragged out by that boy.  
  
He did not want to be pitied anymore, but he had given that boy all the reason he needed to pity him.

Zenkichi’s eyes were wet. Did… did he cry out of concern for him?  
  
Sensitive, but manly. Always fighting others, but friendly. This guy really was the entire package, huh? Hinata almost felt relieved for a moment that Zenkichi would only ever be interested in Medaka, considering Komaeda had been in love with him once.

 _Wait… why am I even worrying about that?_ _  
_ _  
_ “Hey…. Are you awake now? Do you want to talk about something?”  
  
“There’s nothing to talk about…” Hinata said, as he forced himself to get up and crawled at least until he reached his pile of clothes and pulled back on his boxers.  
  
The two of them sat on the beach in silence for a moment. Hinata would do anything to not have to talk about himself. He already tried that, and he almost drowned as a result. His thoughts wandered elsewhere.  
  
“Hey… you’ve known Kumagawa-kun since middle school, right?”  
  
“Yep.”  
  
“I don’t really understand him. I just hate him… but maybe I was wrong-”  
  
“Oh, I hate him too.”  
  
“Huh?” Hinata had not expected Mr. Sunshine to blatantly hate somebody that quickly. Then again, this was Kumagawa, and he had seen Zenkichi and Kumagawa fighting with each other earlier. “Why do you hate him?”  
  
Zenkichi sat down next to HInata, crossing his legs. “Well, it has to do with how we first met.”

 

 ♛

 

In the past, Hitoyoshi Zenkichi wanted to try a different kind of debut for his middle school years. He wore a bright red undershirt, and dressed in a black jacket uniform with a popped collar that exposed his was it. He even went as far as to die his hair an oily black, and slick it back.

  
He wanted nothing more than to make his debut as a big shot. He even started to hang out around a far rougher crowd. The day that he learned the source of Kurokami Medaka’s trouble was not the destroyer, but rather Kumagawa MIsogi their student council president and a senpai two years older than him he had gone to confront him deirectly.  
  
“Hey, do you have anything to say for yourself concerning what you did to my good friend?”

『...』  
  
“Don’t you know how to treat people? Have you ever had any friends before?”

『...』  
  
“Did you just move here? Tell me your name, senpai.”

Kumagawa Misogi turned around suddenlly. He narrowed his eyes in an expression that a person would only use to look at a bug they found in an unexpected place.   『What’s with you… you have weird hair.』

“...”  
  
Zenkichi threw the first punch right after that. This time, unlike the time with Akune-senpai Medaka did not get in the way and both boys fought each other until they were at a standstill. Neither of them seemed particularly stronger than the other, and neither wanted to go all out either.

It was a first meeting without any winners or losers.

 

 ♛

 

“That seems like a really petty reason to hate him.” Hinata said, deadpanning Zenkichi at the end of a story that was much shorter of an origin story than he had been expecting.

  
“Hey! I had a good reason, he kept sending people to beat up my childhood friend. Well, if he was just an enemy, he’d be easier to understand. The worst part was what came after that.”

 

 ♛

 

“What are you doing on the rooftop, student council president? Do you like high places or something?”  
  
Kumagawa MIsogi at the time, wore a pitch black uniform like always and was almost never seen without a tangle puzzle in his hands. He played with it, fidgeting with it constantly, as his black hair fell in front of his face. His head was shaved at the sides to give him a much neater appearance, but he had let his bangs overgrow recently.  
  
『...』  
  
“You shouldn’t ignore your Kouhai. That’s rude you know.”

『Do you want to fight or something?』

“Fighting you is pointless, we never win or lose. Do you want to eat lunch together on the roofop instead?”

『Eating lunch on the rooftop, is something friends would do.』  
  
“Then, we’ll do it as enemies.”

『...』  
  
“Hey, how come you’re always bothering Medaka-chan.”

『...』  
  
“Are you one of those boys that doesn't know how to speak about his feelings so you bully the girl you like?”

『...』

“If that’s the case that would make you my rival, instead of my enemy.”

『...』  
  
“If you want Medaka-chan to acknowledge you, she’s probably already acknowledged you as an enemy.”

『...』  
  
“Are you just going to keep up with your usual silence? It’s like you only talk when you want to piss other people off, jeez.”

『...Ajimu-san.』  
  
“Huh?”  
  
『Vice president Ajimu-san. She took an interest in Medaka-chan.』  
  
Kumagawa MIsogi was always seen around with his vice president. Even though he was hated by the general student body, his vice president was loved and anybody who would want to pick on him or throw trash at him would behave as long as she was around him. THe many fights that Kumagawa seemed to start were always smoothed over by her.  
  
Not a single person seemed to know of their relationship, besides the fact that they were always together. They seemed to walk to and from school together as well. Zenkichi had just assumed they were childhood friends, like him and Medaka. In that case, he almost pitied Ajimu for being saddled with such a poor childhood friend.  
  
“Are you jealous or something? I guess Medaka-chan likes kissing girls just as much as she likes kissing guys, she might be my rival too.”

『No, it’s not like that. I’m sorry, it’s a bit like a story out of a manga. I didn’t have anybody else in the world, then suddenly I had Ajimu-san. We were two people. Unlike me, Ajimu-san is a talkative person, strong, always smiling always pleasant to be around. To me… she’s like a sister, but I don’t think she feels the same way. Even so, I want to protect her. 』  
  
“You want to protect her from Medaka-chan?”

『I want to protect her from herself.』

“Huh…?”

『Ajimu-san’s world, is just her and me. It’s extremely narrow… and she’s probably already gotten bored of me by this point.』  
  
“I don’t really get it but… it’s familial affection, right? Okay… I’ll help you out.” The two boys had somehow drifted so close in their conversation that they were now sitting next to one another on the rooftop, their legs dangling off of it. “Okay, I’m going to help you protect her. If your world is just too narrow, then let’s expand your world.”

『Expand my world?』  
  
“I’ll become friends with her, and with you too if you stop pissing me off so much.” Zenkichi said, as he ran a hand through his dyed black hair and offered the other boy a smile.

『...』Kumagawa merely looked away from him.

 

 ♛

 

“I thought that day that Kumagawa might not be a bad guy after all, or at least he had good intentions. The next day however, he ripped off the face of Ajimu-san, and Medaka-chan drove him out of the school.”

“So, he is terrible!”  
  
“No, that’s not the point of the story it’s just… everyone thinks differently you know. That’s why understanding people is so difficult. Both of those guys, Kumagawa and Komaeda are hard to understand, but a lot of people are like that y’know.”  
“It still doesn’t make any sense why they don’t get along then, you think if everybody else doesn’t understand them that they’d at least try to understand each other.” Hinata said bitterly, as he hugged his knees.  
  
“Well… that’s probably it. They do understand each other, that’s why they don’t like each other.”  
  
“Huh? Is it because everything's backwards with them?”

“No… I think it’s for normal reasons. Hinata, do you like yourself?”  
  
“Not really.”  
  
“So, if you met another version of yourself walking around would you get along with him super well?”  
  
“No…” Hinata had evidence of that, with the arguments he had been having with his brain buddy recently.  
  
“Then, think about this. Shy. Self Conscious. Warped. Liar. Likes to pretend to be a bad guy, and tries to shoulder everything alone. Komaeda and Kumagawa probably… see too much of themselves in one another, so even though they like one another it hurts to be near each other.”  Zenkichi reached up and scratched at the back of his head again. Hinata looked as a smile spread across his face without the boy even realizing it. “I think it’d be good though, if those two learned to get along better. That’d be like… them learning to like themselves, right? Even if they cause trouble, hating yourself is really painful and I don’t want them to go through that.”

Hinata watched Zenkichi in that moment with empty eyes. He realized why, loving Zenkichi had been so painful for Komaeda. Zenkichi burned so bright, absolutely bright. However, that rectitude of his was bright enough to blind.

“Thanks… I’ll think about what you said. Let’s hang out more later, if you don’t mind hanging out with somebody who could be the traitor.”  
  
“That’s okay, if you are the traitor then I can just convince you to join my side right? I mean you'd rather be friends with me then some shadowy organization right? Look at this smile!”  
  
“Tch. Way too cocky.” Hinata said as he ran a hand through his spiky hair, and started to feel exasperated more like his usual self.  
  
He picked up his clothes and managed to walk home all the way on his lonesome. As he sat on his bed though, he noticed that Komaeda still had left his jacket on his bed from the time he was over the other day.  
  
Hinata considered just throwing it at Komaeda the next time they crossed each other’s paths, so he could avoid talking to the other boy. That was probably the best choice, to get rid of this jacket.  
  
Yet, he found himself reaching out for the jacket, and draping it around his shoulders. The moment he felt the residual warmth of the jacket, he fell back from where he was sitting onto the bed. With no other blanket, he just wrapped the ratty and old looking jacket around himself clinging to its warmth.  
  
_Juzo was right._ _  
_ _All I can do is cling to others.  
__But…  
__I was really happy like that.  
__Clinging to that group…  
__Being a part of things with everyone.  
I don't care about Hope's Peak anymore.  
I just want to stay with them. _

 


	32. Smile at Despair in the Name of Laughter (4 - Empty x Sustenance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My favorite Zero Escape character is Santa, followed by Junpei.

“Actually, I lied before.”

Enoshima Junko saw the curtains pull away in front of her. The curtains were red velvet, and rows upon rows of red plush seats lie in the audience section matching tohse curtains. The curtains parted way to reveal a screen.  
  
“When I said that we were talking within your own heart, that was a lie. That classroom is a representation of Kumagawa’s heart. It’s his only precious memory, and because of that I can pull people with strong connections to his heart into that room.”

A show was about to begin. She was sitting in the middle of the very back row. She looked like a casual viewer at best, with one elbow resting on the arm rest, and slouching in her seat. She was balancing a bucket of popcorn in her lap, and idly she would reach with the other hand to munch on it.  
  
“That was a lie too. Actually, it’s the only happy memory I have as well. I need to keep lying about that though, because if I start to distinguish between happy and sad memories I’ll start to lose sight of who I am.”

Enoshima Junko reached for her popcorn once more, but this time her hand bumped into something. She looked out of the corner of her eyes and saw another hand reaching for her popcorn. Her eyes followed that pale hand, just like a ghost’s, and a girl with red brown hair, and amber eyes with rings of red looked back at her, smugly, while chewing stolen popcorn. Ajimu Najimi smiled back at her.  
  
“This is your heart. It’s different utterly from Kumagawa’s heart, almost completely opposite. You have no memories you hold precious. It’s not like you don’t have happy memories, but they hold no value to you. You weren’t participating in them. It was more like they happened around you. So, this is the shape the interior of your heart takes. This is who you are. A member of the audience, watching the show from afar, observing from the very back row. How distant, how remote, you don’t even have anybody to watch with you.”  
  
“Ssssssh, no talking during the movies,” Enoshima Junko said softly, not entirely aware of where her consciousness was at the moment. She simply found those who talked over her entertainment to be obnoxious to deal with.

A countdown appeared onscreen, and then the projector began to play. Oh, this was her own memories. Even in her own memories it seemed, all she could do was watch from an outside point of view.

 _What movie was I watching again?_ _  
_ _Oh… this one._ _  
_ _This scene with the boy and the girl._ _  
_ _It was a mistake showing them my head like this, Ajimu-san._ _  
_ _The moment you start sympathizing with a girl like me, you cease to be human._ _  
_

_『J-junko-chan what are you doing? H-how, how did it end up like this this time, how does it always end up like this? I’m sick of this!』_

_“Didn't I tell you? I’m already fed up with the world. Nobody’s sicker of this than me.”_

_Even so, his eyes sharpened. 『It doesn’t have to be that way..』_

_“What?”_

_『Anything you would never want to lose will be lost. It is given that everything that is worth desiring will be lost the moment you obtain it. There’s nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging a life of suffering and that’s why… life is tragic! Life is unceasingly unendingly tragic! That’s why you should keep living it.』_

_“....”_

_『With me… you’ll become the misfortunate person in the world. I’ll spend the rest of my life making you as miserable as possible.』  
_

_“...”_

_『Let’s play a game for the rest of our lives okay? I’ll defeat you over and over again, as many times as it takes for you to taste despair! We don’t have to be normal, we don’t have to enjoy our school lives! Let’s just be miserable together!』_

_He said those words that moved my heart._ _  
_ _Those words moved my heart._ _  
_ _Did they move my heart?_ _  
_ _They should have moved my heart._ _  
_ _That’s what I thought at that moment._ _  
_ _...Ah._ _  
_ _A small revelation._ _  
_ _In this kind of scene, this is where the girl’s heart should be moved._ _  
_ _This is what I should be feeling._ _  
_ _Kumagawa did not shout words of hope at me._ _  
_ _He did not talk over me like everyone else._ _  
_ _He took my whacked world view seriously._ _  
_ _He tried to convince me with my own words._ _  
_ _I think if I had a heart, I would have been moved at that moment._ _  
_ _Moments of change, tend to happen in dramatic moments like that._ _  
_ _I should have felt myself changing, I should have felt myself turning._ _  
_ _Kumagawa has a heart tailor made for despair._ _  
_ _He’s probably the closest anybody has come to understanding me._ _  
_ _He desires for happiness more than anybody else._ _  
_ _Yet, he was willing to give that up for my sake._ _  
_ _To endure a lifetime of misery, if I had only just extended my hand to him._ _  
_ _When I didn’t take his hand in that moment._ _  
_ _That probably sealed it._ _  
_ _What I had suspected all along was right._ _  
_ _There was no hope for me to begin with._ _  
_ _If even that person couldn’t reach me._ _  
_ _Then it’s probably my fault._ _  
_ _For being born broken, unable to change._ _  
_ _My defining trait has been my inability to escape my stupidly overclocked brain._ _  
_ _I’m going to hurt everyone I interact with, just because of the way I think._ _  
_ _I’ve always known this._ _  
_ _I always knew, I always knew, I always knew…_ _  
_ _Then… why do I feel like this?_ _  
_ _Why do I feel so disappointed?_

 _Don’t tell me somewhere along the way I started to desire…_ _  
_ _DId I start to want something else for myself other than the path I’ve been on since birth._ _  
_ _Did I want to change?_ _  
_ _No, that’s ridiculous._ _  
_

She wanted to test it for herself that night. If she could get close to someone, if she could feel their warmth. If such a thing had been possible for her to begin with. Or if she was merely doomed to forever be a member of the audience.  
  
She just wanted to stop thinking, stop existing… in this terminally boring existence. Perhaps, if she became one with him she would be able to. If they ceased being individuals and melted together. If only for a few moments. It seemed that despite being smarter than most adults, she was still a young girl after all in some respects, because she genuinely wanted to believe in a romantic idea like that.  
  
Still, her brain could only take in and analyze data. She treated this new experience like it was a scientific experiment. With their clothes still on, she pushed him back on the bed until it rocked with their combined weight. It was a mattress meant only for one student after all. The two of them had shared it a couple of times, and any possible romantic tension from those nights was ruined with the sheer amount of times they elbowed or kneed each other in their sleep.

On that cramped bed still, with the corners of their bodies still clumsily hitting one another, they tried to allign their bodies in a position both of them had no experience with outside of watching in fiction. As she rubbed up against him, she realized their clothing was an annoying barrier getting in the way of her goal.

 _Life is about drawing close to others._ _  
_ _I always know, how to perfectly get close to another person._ _  
_ _Did you know?_ _  
_ _The most surefire way to be loved by someone is to look past their pain, and to gently come closer to them._ _  
_ _People struggle their entire lives finding the answer to the hedgehog’s dilemna._ _  
_ _They hurt themselves, testing out the boundary lines between people._ _  
_ _There’s no meaning to this sequence. Even if you were to play the frames one after another they wouldn't connect.  
_ _  
_ “Hey… Let’s get naked.” She said, pushed off of his chest and sat up on the edge of the bed once more. She realized at that moment she did not want to be too far away from him. Disengaging felt like coming down from a high. She wandered to the bathroom, and looked at herself in the mirror. Her body was all flush. Her cheeks had reddened without even realizing it. She was sweating… when did she become so out of breath. It was like, observing a chemical reaction in science class. She had just poured two sets of chemicals together, and watched them react and change into something different. But, even in this situation she was still watching from behind a pair of lab goggles. She was still observing, it did not occur to her that she was the one reacting to it.  
  
She reached up to undo the twin tails she always kept her hair in, causing her hair to fall to gravity, in wavy, golden tresses at her sides. She leaned forward in the mirror enough to see the contacts in her eyes, and popped them out one by one. The makeup, she was in too much of a rush to deal with. A rush? She was rushing? She undid the tie around her neck, and pulled it away tossing it aside. She unbuttoned her uniform as well, and stepped out of her skirt. Not just her face, her entire body was flushed. She leaned forward in the mirror to observe it more carefully, cupping one of her breasts as she did. Was… she really reacting this way? To him of all people?  
  
He was not her childhood friend, who was slim and feminine, brilliant but troubled, handsome in a neat and untidy way. He was not the embodiment of all hope and talent, somebody just as bored as the world as she was, beautiful and untouchable like a god. He was just some loser who had dropped into her life out of nowhere. He was not special, he was not brilliant, he was not overhwelming like an explosion, he was calm, serene and constant like flowing water. Yet, she was all hazy, her breathing was ragged, and being without him was like the coldness one felt after coming up out of the water after a long swim.  She quickly grabbed a robe from its hook and threw it over her, a black robe, over a black pair of lace bra and panties, and the rest of her body a nice shade of red to match it.

 _Yet, I’ve always been able to see them crystal clear._ _  
_ _I can see the lines everybody else can’t._ _  
_ _Yet… somehow, my self awareness is rather vague._ _  
_ _People like Tsumiki Mikan who desire to be loved, but are completely clueless about how to earn that love._ _  
_ _Because they think they need to earn it in the first place._ _  
_ _Those are the easiest to wrap around my finger._ _  
_ _I converted her to slow worship of me…_ _  
_ _But, why…_ _  
_ _Why did she look so hurt?_ _  
_ _I mean I know why she’s miserable, it's because of me._ _  
_ _But… what is it like to feel that pain?_ _  
_ _To be so deeply invested in a person that they can hurt you like this._ _  
_ _To embrace them so tightly, you become twisted up around them._  
  
When she returned to him, he was sitting at the edge of the bed nervously hands in his lap. It was the only thing censoring him at this point, as his uniform was in a messy pile on the floor. She sat on the edge of the bed as well. The only barrier in between them at the moment, was distance. Then, she closed that gap, pushing him forward once more, and taking his hand using his own hand to cup her breast for her. He really was incompetent, as he reached back to undo her bra, he took far too long. She burst out laughing at him, and they had to stop again. They might not have even gotten farther than that, because she was enjoying herself so much watching his face grow more and more frustrated as she watched him try to undo it. Luckily, she was impatient and once again pushed him away to do it herself.  
  
Her breasts free, her chest pressed up against his. She felt the heat of friction between their bodies directly once more, warming up her ice cold self. She told his hands what to do with her panties, and finally out of them and warmed up she wanted to see it. She wanted to see if she would disappear with him.  
  
He had gotten closer to her than anyone else. WIthout shame or pride, she was showing him all of herself, and he in return had gotten undressed for her and showed all of himself too. Her hands inspected his naked body, tracing the edges of his scars, the shallow place where his hips caved in on his emaciated form. She felt him all over trying to take in every detail of him with his hands. She was curious, especially the parts of a boy she had never seen up close before. Between the two of them, naked like they were in the garden of eden. She wanted to return to that point, to stop thinking, but being cerebral was her nature. This entire time she was observing, taking in new information. Even in the midst of a hot, sweaty, and ill advised mistake she somehow thought too much. She manipulated him too much. Waching the tension build up in him, seeing his eyes suffering in agony of his love for her, of how lose he wanted to be to her. Pushing him, away and away, even though being close was what she wanted to. The psychologial games could not stop for her, even right now.

 _There’s no meaning to this sequence at all._ _  
_ _Point A you first encounter them_ _  
_ _Point B you raise their relationship levels by talking to them_ _  
_ _Point C you’ve completed enough a flag is raised._ _  
_ _Point D, then it happens._ _  
_ _But, by that point I’ve already lost interest._ _  
_ _The first boundary line gets crossed._ _  
_ _It probably happens, somewhere between B and C._ _  
_ _Playing with a walkthrough is just… pushing the buttons you’re told, right?_ _  
_ _There’s no fun in that.  
_  
Then, on a whim after she had investigated every part of him, she suddenly hooked her ankles around his hips and bid him to come closer to her once more. When her heels locked behind him, pushing him into the base of his spine she gave him no escape, nowhere to go but forward. Slowly, unsteadily, he pushed into her. His face looked so confsued at the moment, so fearful of hurting her, that she could not help but kiss it locking her arms around his neck as well and pulling his head closer to hers without a choice.  
  
She was somebody who could run her mouth in any situation, but suddenly talking became very difficult. “Mi...MI...Mi... So… Gi….” Each syllable, as her body rocked backwards, in between gasps.  
  
She looked up and saw his face. His eyes widened suddenly, as she called out his name. It clearly was doing something to him. He suddenly buried his face in the crook of her neck, embarrassed. His hand reached out and covered hers. “Shut up…” He muttered.  
  
“Pu...puhuhuhu….” He was just so funny. Getting embarrassed by something so stupid at a time like this, by a girl calling out his first name. He really was so foolish. And she was foolish too, for liking that embarrassment. She licked his hand to get a taste of him. Her fingers curled around his wrist, and she stuck three, of them in her mouth. He hesitated again, showing her more of ‘that face, confused, not knowing how to react to a sign of physical affection of  any kind, taken off guard. She could beat him with a bat, hit him with an axe, stab him with knives and he would ‘never show any reaction to it. He was far too used to physical abuse. Yet, this gentle touch seemed to terrify him, he showed so vulnerability to intimacy and affection. All she did was gently kiss his fingertips, and he looked like he had been kicked. Her mouth fell open and her tongue rolled out, she was laughing. It was absolutely laughable. “Upupupuupuuuhuhuhuu… Misogi! “ She repeated again, her voice dripping with affection for him, like the drool that ran off of her tongue.

“S...since when have you started calling me by my first name… Nobody, nobody’s ever…gotten close enough to….”  
  
She pushed up against his chest right then. His chest so skinny his ribs were showing, and yet so scarred merely placing her hands against it she could feel the injuries he had suffered a thousand times over by the ridges that she felt against her palms. She pushed him off of her, and back on the bed. Then, she herself rolled up and on top of him. Her hips aligning to his as her legs spread out over him. “You can’t tell me what to do.” She said, reaching down to affectionately and condescendingly in the same stroke, caress his cheek with her fake nail covered hand.  
  
“W...what… what the hell?” He stared at her dumbfounded again, as she worked him. She decided in that moment to make it obvious for him.  
  
“Misogi. I like that name.” She said, leaning down to put a finger on his lips. “It’s mine now. You’re mine now.”

She desired him.  
She wanted him all to herself.  
She wanted to use him to fulfill her in that moment, to disappear within him.  
She saw it for a brief fleeting moment.  
  
But then she lost it again, and coming down from being so close, and so warm was even worse than the cold world she usually existed in. This feeling of disappointment, of crashing after the highs of despair was what she hated the most. Enoshima Junko’s mind was unbelievably complicated, overclocked to a fault, not meant to be understood by other humans and yet… perhaps it was something so simple as being like a drug addict for despair. The only way she could feel anything was to push herself to new highs, but the higher she went the further she crashed, and the more dull she felt in between highs. She laughed ruefully in the bed as she considered that option.  
  
She had used Kumagawa, she had used his body, his good will towards her, his affection, and she had even used these burgeoning feels of her own, she had purposefully made a childish mistake that any other teenager could make and yet. At this moment she could not feel the despair she had wanted, the ecstasy she had wanted, the shame she had wanted. There was just, the feeling of slight warmth of Misogi’s arm slung around her chest, as the two of them both came down from a high and sluggishly fell asleep together.  
  
It was comfortable, it was warm, she might desire to stay in his arms forever in that moment, but that was status queue. That was not the cataclysmic shake up she needed to dislodge herself from this world. Even after using almost all of Misogi to indulge herself, her desires did not end. She was unable to fall asleep next to him, she spent the whole night lying next to him still awake. She was unable even to stop herself from thinking. As time slowly passed, and she grew more and more impatient, more and more bored, she looked at the door to the balcony which had been left open.  
  
She had only known the kind of despair that cuts hope off at the knees. To completely murder hope. The grisly death of hope to render everyone like her, unable to see anything in hope. Yet, she wondered what kind of despair he would feel, at seeing a brief moment of hope, at tasting happiness for the first time, only for everything to slip from his grasp. She could only think of herself, how much she would be able to feel, taking those things away from him.  
  
_My selfish desires… Fulfill me._ _  
_ _I want to be in a clear glass case._ _  
_ _Sparkling, sparkling, sparkling…_ _  
_ _Sparkling all kinds of colors._ _  
_ _I want to blur all the lines.  
_ _Because my existence is gray I want to be full of the feeling of every color at once,  
Then, let the glass walls shatter._

She slid out from underneath his arms easily enough. When she got out of the bed, she noticed his hand grasping towards her. Somehow, even while he was asleep, he noticed. He reached out for her. She felt a moment of hesitation. And then she smiled, because the fact that even considering this action made her feel enough despair to hesitate, if she felt this strongly right now imagine how much she would feel committing the actual act.  
  
She grabbed a robe along the way, not knowing why. There was no need for modesty when she would be dead soon. Kumagawa from three years ago had the right idea. The way to permanently defeat Kurokami Medaka, and Ajimu Najimi was simply to become a person they could not save. She pulled herself up on top of the balcony, and her toes curled around the edge. Here, standing at the highest point, on the borderline she could see it. She could see the whole world. The world that she had been born into, completely unable to enjoy it. THe world that everybody else could enjoy but her. The world she wanted to smash apart more than anything else.  
  
That world too, was like her. It came into existence for no reason at all. Nothing ever lasted long enough to give that world meaning. It was a world of only loss. A world like that could only be ever be empty. It contained everything, and yet nothing. Just like she, could have everything she wanted, and yet had nothing at all.

She took a single step forward, feeling every bit of the sensation of her pulse increasing as she tempted her body with danger. Even if her mind was overclocked, her senses dulled, her body was still functional. She could still feel hormonal regulation like adrenaline just fine. When she pushed herself like this, it felt like a zombie’s heart suddenly started beating again. She leaned even further and further, as she heard an explosion in the background. What was that noise? Was it the dramatic soundtrack to the final scene in her life? No, it was just fireworks for Christmas Eve. She had forgotten that this was her least favorite day at all. She looked briefly at the fireworks for a moment, because it would be the last time she would ever see them.  
  
That was how she wanted to be. She wanted to go out with a bang. At least then, she could say she felt something once in her life. She wanted to see every color like that exploding at once, but for such a fashionable and beautiful girl, her existence was extraordinarily, dull and gray. The explosions of fireworks already sounded dull to her though, and that metaphor was getting tired so she decided to be over with it already and took the second step forward.  
  
Suddenly, she heard it. Kumagawa’s voice carried across the room like he was the only other person in the world, the world lacked sound entirely except for him.  
  
“No, don’t!”

She turned her head around to look at him, even though she was supposed to be leaving him behind. She saw him rush forward after her, only to fall immediately on a stuffed bear she left on the floor slamming hard into the ground. That was so, so like him. HIs arms curled around his body instinctively in pain for a moment, and then his hand slammed into the ground pushing himself back up off the floor.

“Don’t go! Junkooooooooooo!”

What he was grasping for, was a falling curtain.The girl named Enoshima Junko had ever been there with him in the first place. She was not a part of this world. Even in scenes where she had been cast, she was unable to sink into her role. She saw her body moving around, she did the things that were supposed to make everybody else feel things, but not her. Because she was a member of the audience. Her mind always sat in the back row of the theatre, observing everything objectively from a third person point of view. She was sick with the same kind of madness that had infected Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. She was aware, that everything, everything, everything was a shallow performance lacking in depth. Or perhaps it was just her. And now, all she wanted was for the curtain to fall and for it to be over with, because this extended show playing self indulgent encore after encore hda grown too tedious for her.  
  
He would not be able to reach her, because she was somewhere else entirely. He was reaching for a stage curtain, not a person, and yet… Suddenly, he grabbed her hand. .All sound disappeared from the world, she could not hear the fireworks at all, just the small grunts of pain, and effort Kumagawa made after snatching her hand out of the air.

She was so far away, and yet Kumagawa had grabbed her hand for this one brief moment. She expected him to just sit there and fall into despair. There was no way he was strong enough to lift her. He would only hurt himself more by struggling like this. He knew he would not win so why… why was Kumagawa able to keep trying like that?  
  
The one thing her brain could not figure out. She was so far away a moment ago, but she had been pulled in close, close enough she could see every way in which Kumagawa’s face twisted in misery at the moment. She never cared what other people were thinking, but she wanted to know desperately what he thought as he tried to pull her up.

“You have to…. You have to… grab on… to the railing… Junko you’ll die…”

That was the point, duh. He really did say the most idiotic things. However, as her death was quickly approaching, Junko realized something. She had always imagined her death to be a final, pulse pounding moment, of ultimate despair. She was killing her most importnat person after all, herself. She had been waiting to taste this despair for so long, the only thing she had to look forward to, her final result.  
  
Yet, even seeing how miserable Kumagawa was, even as tears streamed down his face and splashed her. She felt nothing at all. She was… bored. The despair of this moment... it was oddly tiresome.  _  
_ _  
_ _Oh._

 _It didn’t matter to begin with._ _  
_ _It didn’t matter what I did._ _  
_ _It doesn’t matter whether I take his hand or not._

She had been planning to dig her nails into his flesh and force him to let go, but she no longer had the energy even to do that. She had reached her final disappointment in life. _Just let me go already, Misogi. I want to drown in the river like that author.  
_  
“Jun… ko…”  
  
_Why did he…_ _  
_ _Keep fighting…_ _  
_ _It didn’t matter what he did._ _  
_ He reached out to her, even though it was reaching through vines upon vines of throrns. Even if he found a flower at the center of it, the petals would have thorns as well. Dying here and leaving him alone might even count as a kindness, and yet he refused to let go. She could not feel it at all, what he felt in that moment.  
  
Then suddenly, the balcony snapped and the two of them fell together. As she hit the water, she felt his arms wrapping around her. Until the very last moment he refused to let go of her.  
  
_An unintentional lover’s suicide._ _  
_ _Senai, It’s so warm when I’m around you._ _  
_ _But so cold._

 _I wanted to die, like a brilliant star burning up all at once._ _  
_ _I wanted to be a supernova._ _  
_ _Then collapse into a black hole that sucks everything in with me._ _  
_ _I wanted to feel everything._ _  
_ _But,  even though I dragged you here with me I didn’t feel anything in the end._ _  
_ _Why couldn’t I…_ _  
_ _Oh it’s because… To go supernova you need mass as a star right?_ _  
_ _But I’m just empty._ _  
_ _I'm just an empty void._ _  
_ _Heat is a vibration of molecules, to put it simply._ _  
_ _The reason in space that there is no heat, a void of heat is because._ _  
_ _Individual molecules are too far apart and their vibrations can’t reach each other._ _  
_ _Therefore, no heat._ _  
_ _I’m cold._ _  
__Being cold is so boring._

 

 _  
_  ♛

 

Suddenly, Enoshima Junko snapped back into reality.  
_Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?_ _  
_ Everything that happened seemed like it was a moment ago. Was she suddenly the type of character to have those kinds of flash backs in the middle of important situations. She was not dead, nor was she cold, and Kumagawa whose face had been so close to hers, crying in out in pain and confusion, now only looked confused.

『Junko, Junko, help me figure out the layout of this place. It’s giving me a headache.』  
  
“Your entire existence is gives me a headache.”

『My cries of help fell on deaf ears, but the moment I leave a vulnerability to insult me she appears again.』

“I’m sorry, for some reason I always want to deny or contradict every little thing you say.”

『As far as apologies go that’s a hard one to accept. It’s like you’re telling me you can’t bring yourself to get along with any part of me.』  
  
“I think I know what it is. It’s probably the feeling that little children have of wanting to bully someone they like.”

『Are you sure it isn’t more like the attitude that big grownups have of wanting to torment someone they see as weak? Wait… what, did you just say you liked me?』  
  
“...”

『Hey, hey, hey.』  
  
“It’s too late, Misogi. The moment has passed. You killed it.”

『But I don’t want to become a murderer!』  
  
“In the middle of a killing game too. That’s the worst place to be a murderer, how foolish of you.”

『You’ll take my side won’t you? You should testify in my defense, and help me work out an alibi.』  
  
“There’s no way I could do that. Do you want to corrupt a young upstanding student of Hope’s Peak Academy, one of our best and brightest?”

『I didn’t think it was possible to corrupt you any further than you’ve already been corrupted.』  
  
“That’s no way to talk about your girlfriend, Misogi.”

『Ah, sorry, sorry.』  
  
“Seriously talking about that with me… huh, what were we talking about again?”

『She gets bored of me so quickly, she forgets in the middle of a conversation!』  
  
“It’s your fault we got off topic. I wish you’d stop riffing off of everything I say. You’re acting like we’re all buddy, buddy or something.  Listening to you, a stranger might even think we’re dating.”

『It’s not my fault. We are dating! You literally just said you were my girlfriend. Jeez, dealing with you requires an unbelievable amount of patience.』  
  
“Misogi. The way you put it, it almost sounds like I’m the one who’s hard to get along with. Not you.” She had been so lost a moment ago, but a simple conversation with Misogi had grounded her. Really, it made no sense at all. There was a skinny dweeb who was just a centimeter shorter than her, that was somehow holding his ground in a conversation with her. Even though everybody else was never able to understand her and always moved along exactly to her whims only gawking at her in awe whenever she controlled the conversation, this loser was somehow special. This person was actually fun to talk to. So fun, she had forgotten what she was doing.

That was right, she was stuck in the funhouse with this loser. Not only that, but somehow just now randomly the memory of her death which had been stolen away from her returned. She could not explain either thing, and she was also yet to figure out how the mastermind had trapped she who was supposed to be dead in this virtual world in the first place. It was all quite vexing. If she had the ability to stop herself from wanting to figure something out, she might have just enjoyed being in the dark for once, but curiosity killed the cat, and this cat had a case of terminal boredom and impatience.

The reason they were brought here was the next motive, they would be trapped inside this house until a murder took place. The paper that Kumagawa was currently staring at in confusion was the map of the funhouse.

『We’re currently at the indoor park, that’s the third floor. The second floor has five guest rooms divided by quality grade. From the deluxe room, the standard room, to the crummy room. 』  
  
“Good, it’s decided then. I’ll take the Deluxe Rooms, the Standard Rooms, and you can have the crummy rooms.”

『Wait, can’t we just share the same room?』  
  
“Eh? Aren’t you getting cocky? Having to share space on the same evolutionary tree is already too much for me, you want me to share the same air as me too? How good is the insulation in the deluxe room?”

『It has excellent air insulation.』  
  
“Still not good enough. I mean it’s my air after all, I’m not sure I can have you breathing it. Well, as a small suggestion, if you hold your breath the entire time, we can share the room.”

『But, I’ll die! Don’t you give a crap about anybody besides yourself?』  
  
“Please don’t use such rude language with me. I said it was just only a small suggestion.”

『You know, I bet even Marie Antoinette was a little more modest and humble than you.』

“She’s something like my disciple.”

『Jeez, this is the one time I would have been happy to hear that my princess has been locked up in another castle.  What’s so wrong with sharing a bedroom with me anyway?』  
  
“Well, if we do it there aren’t any showers.”

『I w-wasn’t thinking about that. We have bigger concerns you know, we don’t have anything to eat.』  
  
“If there is no bread, then let them eat cake.”

『We don’t have any cake, either!』  
  
“Then, you can just eat me to get out. You’re always imitating manga at home, because your manga addled brain confuses manga with reality anyway. So you might as well imitate that cannibalism manga.”

『That’s a seinen manga, I only read shonen manga!  And I’d never want to eat you, I can’t bear the thought of hurting you Junko!』  
  
“The order in which you corrected me, is slightly worrying. I’m not reassured you’re not going to eat me when it’s second priority to you behind your beloved shonen manga. Who talks about creepy things like eating other people, anyway.”

『It’s not my fault I’m being dragged along on the whims of a macabre misery fetishist.』Kumagawa fumed, before putting his focus back on the map. No matter what barbs she threw at him, they always bounced back and at worst he pouted like a small child. It was cute, really. It made her wonder what kind of horrible things had been said about him before that point, that made him able to accept any insult. Imagining his self esteem getting slowly eroded away as the entirety of society rejected him again and again, that was even more cute to her.

『The first floor has a room called the final dead room. There’s a hallway, called the strawberry hallway that leads to an enormous tower.』  
  
The two of them had been talking while they walked, and made it all the way to the first floor. Junko was immediately attracted to the suspicious looking room with an evil clown face on it, however Kumagawa grabbed her hand and dragged her away to the door. The two of them stopped in front of the door to the strawberry tower.

『Oh, wait. There’s no way we can open the door like this!』  
  
“Hmmm, Misogi do you think maybe we just have to press the button that’s next to the door? You know, the one that has “Open” written on it?”

『I wonder what that means… It’s funny, it’s spelled just like the word, “Open”!』  
  
“You know actually Misogi I’ve changed my mind, there’s no way we’re even remotely on the same evolutionary branch.”

『I’ve been demoted from my species! Wait, if I’m not human does that make you a furry?』  
  
“Would you quit retorting, and turning my insults back on me? Jeez, Misogi you can’t even get insulted properly.”

『What do you want me to do? Cry and beg?』  
  
“If you do that, I’ll be sure to lick up your tears.”

『Now it just sounds like you’re flirting.』  
  
She giggled and walked ahead of him, pressing the button with a single finger tipped in a red nail. The two of them walked to an empty circular room with the same strawberry patterns. Kumagawa walked over to the door at the other side of the room marked with a large grape. He pulled at the handle, only to find it would not budge. Enoshima Junko looked up, staring blankly for a moment.  
  
The two of them walked back, and made their way to the elevator. Junko noticed the odd way the elevator refused to vibrate, tapping her foot in impatience. When it finally opened,s he was greeted with a grape covered room, and a statue of the long haired Kurokami Medaka glowering down at her with its arms crossed.  
  
“Oh, no an ogre! I can’t believe we’re trapped in here with this thing.”

『Huh? That’s not an ogre, that’s Medaka-chan. 』  
  
She clutched at his arm and hid behind him like a timid maiden. “Protect me Misogi, I’m scared!”

『Since when are you a person that needs to be protected by a loser like me, anyway?』  
  
“Protecting your girlfriend from trouble is basic boyfriend behavior.”

『Well, I respect your autonomy enough to know you can find your way out of trouble.』  
  
“That’s just making excuses because you’re too lazy to protect me!”

『Even if that were the case, most of the trouble you get into is started by you in the first place. 』  
  
“I can’t help that everything in the universe just so naturally happens to revolve around me.”

『THat’s just because gravity is attracted to the object of the highest mass, and there’s no mass bigger in the universe than your ego.』  
  
“Hey, hey, are you calling me fat!” She said, shaking him from behind. She stopped to look at the grape room for all of one second. Her eyes focused as if they were calculating a problem.

『Anyway, the tour with the grape room-』  
  
“Unnecessary.”

『What’s unnecessary?』  
  
“Well, your entire existence, but also the tour. I already figured it out. This entire building is shaped like an octagon and that elevator went around the side of the building rather than going up and down, so the grape room and the strawberry room are located in the same building.”

『Junko, you should tag that with a spoiler warning that seems like the kind of reveal that wouldn’t happen until the next trial starts.』  
  
“Hey, it’s not my fault that the headmaster obviously designed this place for a bunch of dumb dumbs that would take that long to figure it out. Anyway, bored here! Let’s go to the final Death Room now!”

『I’m not sure how comfortable I feel going to any room with death in the name with you...』

Kumagawa said, before Junko grabbed him by the hand anyway and began to happily drag him forward towards the death room. They stopped just in front of him, Junko’s heels clicking as she stood with her hands on her hips. Helpfully, there were large words on the wall “Final Dead Room” with a large arrow pointing towards the door, so that even an idiot like MIsogi could know where they were.  
  
Still, Junko felt the need to point at the door. She was bossy like that. “See? Scary clown. Interesting.”

『I wouldn’t call him scary. Jokers are my friends, you know.』  
  
“Monokuma-sensei told us only those who win the Life-Threatening game contained within will reach the Octagon. Well, that probably just means that you’ll figure out the secret of this building which I’ve already figured out..”

『So, why are we here?』  
  
“Dunno. It has death in the name, I thought it would sound cool.”

『You’re so shallow I could stand in a pool of you with my socks on and not get wet.』  
  
Junko suddenly turned around, her eyes tearing up with (fake obviously) tears. She blinked, wiping at one of her eyes dramatically. “Is that what you really think of me? Y-you’d say something so cruel, to a cute and sweet girl like me? I’ve been humiliated at your hands, Misogi…. I can’t believe you’d get your jollies by disgracing me like this.”

『H-hold on, we were just bantering like we always do? It’s not my fault. You only have yourself to blame for giving me the set up.』  
  
“So that’s what you’re into, Misogi. Forcing girls into humiliation roleplay is what excites you. I’ll forgive you though. I can’t blame a healthy young man for having those kinds of interests.”

『If anyone’s being subjected to humiliation roleplay in this relationship, it’s obviosuly me!』  
  
She suddenly curled her hands at her chin, and batted her eyes cutely at him shifting personas again from her previous gloomy one. “I don’t mind… I can take anything so long as it’s you doing it to me, MIsogi.”

『Listen, you need to stick to one personality! You’re not adding any more breadth to your character by breaking it entirely!』

“But I’m the only other person here with you. Our two person comedy act will get pretty boring, if I don’t switch things up a bit.”

『Oh… Junko, if you’re worried about getting bored in here just tell me okay. We’ll talk together and figure out something fun to do.』  
  
“Ugh, don’t ruin our playfully acerbic banter with your icky concern and consideration.” She said sticking her tongue out at him as she walked her way into the room. Just as they entered the door suddenly slammed behind them, bas falling from the ceiling and cutting it off even further.

『Oh no, looks like we’re trapped in here. Just like in Zero Escape.』  
  
“Why do you keep bringing up Zero Escape. Yes, we get it, you played Zero Escape. Referencing something from pop culture isn’t a joke on it’s own.”

『Junko, you literally drop an evangelion reference at often as you breathe you are the last person to judge on that. Do you just not like Zero Escape?』

“Well, don’t you think the Death Games genre is getting a little tiresome at this point? Escape death games, killing death games, it’s all meh.”

『Junko, we are in an escape death game, inside of a killing death game right now. This is not the time to get tired of death games.』  
  
“Listen, if my brain got bored of things at convenient times, I would have so many less problems in life, and also several people would probably still be alive.”

『Damnit Junko’s brain, way to not be a team player.』Kumagawa suddenly changed tracks though, as quickly as Junko tended to do. He spun around on the heel of his dress shoe, and struck a disco like pose. 『Anyway, time for operation make Junko fall for me even further by demonstrating my puzzle solving skills.』

“What puzzle solving skills? Misogi, you can’t just magically develop puzzle solving skills off screen that’s bad writing.”

Kumagawa immediately stopped to think.『Well, I read a shonen manga once. Called Phi Brain, the Puzzle of God., and I was inspired.』  
  
“Pea Brain? That sounds like you, I guess.”  
  
『No, it’s Phi! Phi! Like the main character in Zero Escape, Virtue’s Last Reward!』  
  
“Stop mentioning Zero Escape!”

『Besides, this is a life threatening game isn’t it? It’s better if trash like me puts his life on the line for the sake of everybody.』  
  
“...”

『Junko, this is the part where you’re supposed to go ‘You’re not trash, Misogi’.』  
  
“Well, I don’t want to lie. What would that say about my character, Misogi?”

『That you’re a lying, liar who lies?』  
  
“Well, the Enoshima Junko-chan redemption arc isn’t going to go anywhere if I keep telling lies. Don’t you hate it when a character gets redeemed even though they made no serious change at all? Like how in early dragon ball where after destroying several planets Vegeta just sort of decided to chill with everybody on earth.”

『Junko, you’re not  ever going to have a redemption arc quit joking around about that.』  
  
“Not believing in his girlfriend, really what a lousy man I’ve picked.”

『I don’t want you to be redeemed. I like you just fine the way you are...』Kumagawa sighed, as he walked forward to the number pad. Just as fingers were hesitating at the pad, Enoshima Junko interrupted him again.  
  
“What are you doing? You’re just skipping the majority of the puzzle.”

『But I already figured it out...』  
  
“You can’t just figure something out immediately. Where’s the fun in that?”

『Did you figure it out already?』  
  
“Well, yeah but…”

『Hypocrite! Junko is a hypocrite!』  
  
“All antagonists need an element of hypocrisy, that’s how we serve as such effective foils and dark reflections of the main character.”

『Excuses, Excuses...』Kumagawa Misogi said as he hesitated for a moemnt and walked over to the large Monokuma plushie and ripped it open with his bear hands to get at the batteries.  
  
“How dare you destroy something so beautiful?” Junko said, her eyes watering with crocodile tears again.  
  
『I’ll sew it back up for you later, I promise.』He said as he placed the stuffed Monokuma back on the bed. Junko immediately snatched it up, wrapping her arms around its waist, and holding it tightyl as she went to sit back on the bed. She observed Kumagwa Misogi as he went about solving the puzzle impatiently, sitting at the edge fo the bed with her legs crossed and tapping the foot of her heeled boots in a way that made her heels click on the ground.  
  
Kumagawa observed the screen with digital numbers, and red lights above it and no adjustable number pad. Then, he walked over to the opposite side of the room and started to fiddle with an analog set of four numbers that he could change. He put in the code, and hit Ok, only for nothing to happen.  
  
Kumagawa made an awkward face, and scratched at the back of his head. 『She must have changed the code on me.』  
  
“Excuses, excuses.” Junko said, mirroring back what Kumagawa said a moment ago in a mock imitation of his voice.  
  
『Endurance is all I’m good for. So I’ll just try all 9,999 combinations. 』Kumagawa said.  
  
Junko found himself frustrated by his sense of determation as always. She looked away from him for a moment, and found herself preoccupied with the Monokuma plushie. She walked over to Kumagawa and swiped the batteries from his pocket putting them back in the doll. The life sized Monokuma plushie was more important anyway, she was a girl with a sense of priorities.  
  
She squeezed it, listening ot every single phrase it had been programmed with. However, eventually her attention wandered back to Kumagawa. She saw the frustration become obvious on his face, increasing with each wrong guess. Immediately, her mind wandered elsewhere as she had seen him make similliar in entirely different, bedroom related contexts.  
  
_Omg, am I actually getting horny for loser boys._

 _We’ve done it a couple of times…._ _  
_ _But those times were because I sort of aggressively came onto him._

She stared at him, watching him. Even though trying 9,999 combinations was the height of boredom, and being locked away in a room to slowly starve to death with one other person sounded like a hell especially designed to punish her for all the things she had done in her life she found herself… not that bothered at the moment.  
_  
_ _What’s going on here…? Wait a second._ _  
_ _This is totally bizarre._ _  
_ _Let me explain._ _  
_ _Reason 1: He’s slept with me before, but doesn’t seek to do it again. That’s weird. (Where does he even get that confidence from?)_ _  
_ _Reason 2: Even though the situation has been awkward, I keep hanging out with him._ _  
_ _Reason 3: It’s not just that it’s weird. There’s something utterly repugnant about it._ _  
_ _This situation… It’s like I’m the one who’s pursuing him. What’s going on._

She decided it was just likely it was more fun to mess with him. That was probably why she kept him around. There was no need to analyze it deeper than that. Suddenly, the Monokuma she was squeezing announced. “Do you guys want me to punish you?” and it gave that witch of a girl a wicked idea.  
  
She sat back up on the bed again and raised her eyebrows at him, suggestively. “Hey, MIsogi. I should punish you every time you get it wrong.”

『Junko, this room is hard enough without that.』  
  
“Really? But I’ve already figured it out.”

『So tell me the answer..』  
_  
_ “Hmmmmm, no.”

『Don’t pretend like you’re considering it for a second, that’s getting my hopes up just to dash them.』  
  
“But it’s more fun for me that way.” She pouted, before turning a devilish smile towards MIsogi as her imagination was already running wild coming up with potential punishments.  
  
Kumagawa continued to input the code. Junko sat on the mattress still, with the Monokuma plushie still in her lap. She was helping him, in her own way at least. Motivation counted as help, right? When she heard the combination lock buzz with the wrong input, she poked him at the spot at the base of his spine that she knew was sensitive, digging her nail into it and even lifting his uniform jacket and shirt to touch his skin directly. Every time she heard a buzz, she dug her nail in, like she was pressing a button.

But she got bored of that quickly, so she moved her leg forward and placed her heel on the back of his leg. Every time she heard the buzz, she prodded him, behind the knee, at his achilles tendon, on his lower leg, she prodded again and again with her heel.  
  
By that point she had gotten so bored, that Kumagawa’s uniform jacket and shirt were already on the ground, removed by her deft fingers unbuttoning them. She even went so far as to untie his tie for him, she really was so considerate of a girlfriend. He ignored her the whole time, and kept trying to put codes in. She slowly wrapped her arms around him, and dragged her nails down his back. His back was covered with scars, but she was quite proud that a few of the most recent ones had been left by her during tender moments. She heard his soft gasps of mixed pain and pleasure as she dragged her nails down his back, and decided she wanted to hear them louder. Kumagawa’s back was strong after all. She leaned on his body further, pressing her chest up against his back and wrapping her arms around his waist reaching over to his stomach. The next time she heard a buzz, she raked her nails on his stomach.  
  
Even that was not enough for her. As a person she was impossible to satisfy. She would always end up wanting more. She reached forward for his belt, and started to play with it. She could very easily undo the buckle, but she made a game of toying with it.

Kumagawa finally reacted to her, which made her pleased like a playground bully finally getting the attention of the boy they had gone so far out of their way to harass. 『J-junko. I’m going to lose track of where I was.』    
  
“Hmmm?” She reached up over his shoulder, and spun all the numbers. Whatever combination he was currently at, that he had endured so far to reach, all progress was immediately made pointless.  
  
Kumagawa whined at her. Turning his face at her, to try to puppy dog pout with his wide eyes.  
  
“Hmmm? We could sit here all day, or you could try to put me in a good enough mood to tell you.”

『Not the time.』  
  
“I don’t know, Misogi Jr. seems to think it is, though it’s hard to tell given how sm--”  
  
Kumagawa raised his voice in a high pitch as he interrupted her as he tried to distract attention from the tightness of the front part of his pants.『That’s cheating! Misogi Jr. is very suggestible!』  
  
“Upuppfffttt…” Junko’s cheeks puffed out, and she covered her mouth in her hand in a futile attempt at suppressing her laughter. “You called your dick Misogi Jr.”

『You did it first!.』  
  
“I know I was your first, Misogi. Tell me something I don’t know.”

『I thought you didn’t want to do it in here because there was no shower.』  
  
“God, do you believe everything I say? Come on, Misogi. Convince me to tell you the answer.” As she said that, she let go of him and slowly fell back on the bed. It was so well timed and shot it almost looked like a scene from a movie. In fact, Enoshima Junko was probably just copying something she had seen in a movie to look seductive. She lay back on the bed, waiting for him. Except, she was still hodling onto the Monokuma plushie, her arms were still wrapped tightly around it’s waist.

『Uh... Junko?』  
  
“Monokuma is the best thing in this place. He’s not going anywhere.”

『It’s hard to do it with him watching.』  
  
“You had no problem doing it where the mastermind could see. Come on, before I get bored and decide not to tell you after all.”

『O-okay!』  
  
“Mmmm…” She hummed softly, in complete contement as she heard the mattress creek with Misogi’s awkward attempts to crawl over it. He positioned himself over her, staring down. She could see, his eyes fluttering, his cheeks turning the softest hint of red. He always looked so hesitant to touch her. As if he were actually afraid of corrupting her. Him corrupting her, now that was a laugh.

If he were to corrupt her with anything, it would be his good nature. His kindness. His endurance. His ability to keep trying. Oh, if she kept listing these positive traits of his she would find it difficult to hate him, and then where would she be. She heard the rustling of fabric as their bodies were slowly alligned. His hands reached down for her skirt, and just then Misogi was interrupted by his stomach growling, and he froze still like he had been caught.  
  
Junko, just smirked at him. “If you’re so hungry Misogi, you could eat me.”

『We’ve been over this, I’m not going to eat you!』  
  
“God you idiot. Oral sex.”

『Oh.』  
  
“Yah.”

 

♛

  
Enoshima Junko’s ind was somewhere else. Her thoughts drifted.

 _People are connected by all sorts of strings._ _  
_ _They often fumble around blindly, because those strings are unable to be seen._ _  
_ _They curse the fact that strings are unseen things._ _  
_ _But, being able to see them is much worse._ _  
_ _When I see them, I can’t help but tug on them to get the result I want._

 _always know from the start, exactly which strings I’m going to cut, and which ones I’m going to pull. Sometimes, I pull them too hard on purpose, I force myself into it hoping that something will snap._ _  
_ _Sometimes, I will even pluck on the heart strings. To see what lovely melody their heart broken cries will play for me._ _  
_ _Everybody has that instinct, the boundary could be made of rope, nylon, or very thin thread._ _  
_ _Regardless I know how it is for me._ _  
_ _Intellectually, I know all of those feelings but I can’t feel them myself, because I can see them and navigate through the maze of strings so perfectly._ _  
_ _The uplifting feeling of being close to someone._ _  
_ _The joy and frustration when someone wears down your walls._ _  
_ _Even the sadness of being rejected._ _  
_ _I feel nothing like that at all._ _  
_ _I wasn’t meant to feel those things, I think._

Suddenly, that boy appeared in her mind. His face looking directly at her. He was smiling like he always was, and asked her a question that seemed to see straight through her like he always did. 『So why do you keep going?』  
_How the hell would I know?_ _  
_ _Maybe because making other people miserable is my life's work._

Enoshima Junko’s eyes peeled open. She first glaced to the side and saw the blood drenched walls and thought. _Cool, that’s totes my aesthetic._ Then she glanced down and saw the dirty mattress and barren bedrframe she was laying on and put two and two together.

 _Wait. I was just messing around. Did I seriously go all the way, and then even fall asleep next to him in a place like this?_ She looked at Kumagawa her pride seriously wounded by this unexpected event, and got annoyed how stupidly cute his unguarded sleeping face was. With a swift kick she kicked him off the mattress and he woke up when he collided with the floor.  
  
Even still groggy from sleeping, Junko solved the puzzle for him in less than a minute. She yawned, still cltuching onto Monokuma as they both looked at the revolver in front of them. Kumagawa Misogi picked up the letter and read it aloud.

『Solve the mystery of the Final Dead Room and you will obtain The Right to Play the Life-Threatening Game. About the life Threatening game, it’s Life Threatening Roulette. PS. YOu are held Liable for setting the roulette’s difficulty. Depending on the difficult,y I’ve prepared special prizes, but make sure you don’t overdo yourself!』

“Okay, give me the gun Misogi. I’ll point it at your head and pull the trigger so we can clear this room.”

『That’s not how you play Russian roulette. Besides, I’m not that eager to die.』  
  
“You’re going to continue on living? But you’ve never even experienced death.”

『Quit phrasing it like it’s some kind of hobby!』  
  
“It could totally become the newest trend. All the cool kids are doing it, come on.”

『Then that’s even more reason for you not to try it, because you’re a total dork. Besides, I’m going to live forever.』  
  
“Ehh, why would you do something as boring as that?”

『If I died, you would be alone.』  
  
“I’d have despair-chan to comfort me.”

『I’ll comfort you instead, because even if I’m killed I won’t die. For your sake, I’ll become a man who never dies.』Kumagawa said as he picked the revolver up. After all that fuss about not pointing the gun at his head, it seemed like he was going to point it at his head anyway just to try to look cool. This was usually the part where he overdid it, and did something stupid in his attempts to look cool. He picked up the bullets and spun out the chamber. Then, he added them in. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6… Oh, there it was, the stupid thing.  
  
“I-idiot! What are you doing?”  
  
He pulled the gun and pressed it against his temple. It was a pitch black revolver, against his pitch black hair which had gotten messy from bed head. Her own fingers intertwining between his hair was to blame. His eyes were wide, a deep blue, and he smiled wide with his mouth open. He looked entirely unperturbed by the action he was about to take. Kumagawa had the aura of somebody who simply decided to sit on the ocean floor and drown rather than try to swim to the top. The air around him, grew stagnant just like his being. Just like the smile on his face, or the stars in the sky, he was fixed, immutable. Junko honestly believed his impossible claim for a moment that he might never die. After all, if he were to die Kumagawa would be spared from living the most miserable life possible. He was a crimminal whose punishment was to always continue living even though things would only get worse for him, and yet somehow paradoxically he enjoyed life.  
  
She could not understand it at all.  
_This world is nothing but loss, right?_ _  
_ _You feel the same way too, don’t you?_ _  
_ They should have felt the same.  
It was the one thing they should have agreed on, even if everything else about them was different, polar opposite, even down to the colors of their hair hers a bleached blonde and his pitch black.  
  
『What am I doing?... Playing Russian roullete obviously. There’s a zero in six chance I’ll survive, but right now I’m playing with the hand I’m always dealt with. There’s no way I can win at Russian Roullete anyway, so a five and six chance would be the same as a zero in six chance for me. I can’t call myself a man who will never die, if I don’t survive here.』Kumagawa said, as he casually pulled the trigger. The instant she heard the click of the gun, the expected did not happen. Kumagawa did not get shot in the head. Rather, something even worse happened. The gun malfunctioned, and the entire gun exploded in his hand causing him to bleed severely from both the hand and the side of the head, and the gun to go skittering across the floor.  
  
After all that fuss too, the door did not open either.  
  
Kumagawa staring at his mangled hand, and then the closed door simply shrugged it off. 『Once again, I’ve lost.』  
   
In the background, Junko watched him with empty eyes.

 _Hmm…_ _  
_ _It’s so irritating._ _  
_ _Kumagawa is suffering in front of me._ _  
_ _Yet, I’m not feeling anything._ _  
_ _Don’t think about tha memory you recovered._ _  
_ _Don’t think about not being able to feel anything when you killed yourself._ _  
_ _It’s not my problem._ _  
_ _The problem’s not with me._ _  
_ _Maybe I’ve had enough._ _  
_ _I don’t need him anymore._ _  
_ _(Sorry, Ajimu-san, Medaka-chan, you two aren’t worth stealing him away from anymore)._ _  
_ _It’s just not my style._ _  
_ _I’m already agitated._ _  
_ _Now I’m stuck all alone with him._ _  
_ _I need some visceral engageent._ _  
_ _I’ll communicate with the others and manipulate them from afar to trick one of them into killing the other so I can get out of here._ _  
_ _I’ll make Mukuro cry and beg to be my sister again._ _  
_ _I’ll make somebody completely enamored with._

“Misogi, you… you idiot..!” She said with gritted teeth, as she tried to storm off. She even went so far as to stomp her boots to announce her intentions to do so. The moemnt she turned away from him though she was caught on something.  
  
She was caught on his hand.  
This time, just like all the other times, even with a bloodied and injured hand he had reached out for her. Even when she was incapable of reaching out for him. She only grit her teeth further in irritation. _I’ll get back into the swing of things… as soon as possible. Seriously, hurry up… and let go of my hand!_

『Did I worry you? I’m sorry.』  
  
“Why the hell would I be worried about someone like you?”

『Eh, but I'm your boyfriend?』  
  
"God, don't you know what a joke is? I obviously just started calling you that to screw with you, it's not like we're anything serious." 

『It's not like I want to be serious anyway, I must prefer to be funny. What's wrong, you look upset?』  
  
_He doesn't even flinch it's so annoying._ “Who gave you permission to be able to read my face. Quit staring at my beautiful face with your ugly eyes.”  Yet, he still did not let go so she turned around. She held her hand out with a quick, “Gimme.” and he put the sewing kit he carried around for his own injuries into her hand.  
  
She made expert work, of sewing up the side of his head. However, his hand and the shrapnel embedded in it were much more tricky. She was starting to get bored, so she poked him with her heel again.  
  
“Hey, tell me a tragic story from your youth again.”  
  
『I’ve told you pretty much all of them.』  
  
“So, you were lying when you said your misfortune never ended, huh?”

『N-no way, I’d never lie to you! Except for all the hundreds of times I did those don’t count because reasons. Hmm, Junko why don’t you tell me about your youth.』  
  
“Nothing bad has ever happened to me before.”

『Now you just sound like your bragging.』  
  
She hummed softly, as she worked on his extended hand. “I suppose there is one thing. When I was young, my parents were very into halloween. So they did something horrifying to me and my sister.”

『Huh?.』  
  
“Since we were twins, Mukuro and I had to dress up in matching costumes every single year. It’s the worst abuse I’ve ever been subjected too.”

『Ahahahahahaha!』  
  
“Hey!”

『The big scary diva of despair, got dressed up in matching twinsy outfiits!』  
  
“Shut up!”

『I know what Monokuma is going to use as black mail for your motive in the killing game. He’s going to release your baby pictures with Mukuro to everybody. There’s no way we’ll be able to take you seriously now.』  
  
“I can’t believe you wasted a perfectly good explosion hurting your hand, you should have hurt your mouth instead.”

Kumagawa’s fingers, injured as they were suddenly curled around one of hers. He was lightly holding onto her, and yet she could feel that connection as if it was everything to him. 『Junko you know sometimes, I can’t make sense of you. All of the faces you show to everybody else that make you a mastermind of reading people and switching between masks on the fly, are coexisting inside of you? Or… is there a real Junko in there somewhere watching from afar.』

“Who knows…”

『I’d want to know… what she thinks of me. Sometimes I get really scared. You’re so close, but I get scared you might slip away to some far off place.』

Junko had not realized how close they wer sitting while she worked on his stitches. He was already leaning his shoulder against him. “It’s not like I want to be this far away. I want to feel things. So much that I could just die. But… those feelings are so elusive I’m never going to receive them.” _  
_

『And yet.』  
『Even though you don't care about those feelings, you make other people say them to you all the time so you can hear them.』  
『Just like Mikan-chan.』  
『That’s just a superiority complex.』  
  
“Maybe it is. ‘My beloved. I love you. I love you so much. Because, you’re the only one who has forgiven me. I’ll do anything for you. I’ll spread any despair you want. That’s how I know our love is requited.’ I made her say it to me. And I use those words to indulge in me. _” Eh…? Why am I saying these things? Whether I say them or not doesn’t make a difference. There’s no connection between a member of the audience and a person on stage. Any connection is just imaginaed by the audience._ “I’m enamored with the absolute worst part of myself. But, I can’t let myself go, I can’t find the determination to live sincerely like Medaka-chan. I see and yet I pretend not to because I don’t want to lose leverage. That’s the part of me that I’m clinging to.” _There’s no reason for me to be this honest. It won’t change anything._ _  
_ _  
_ 『Junko, why do you want to destroy the world so badly anyway?』  
  
“Because, it won’t change. It’s not enjoyable, and it won’t change into something I enjoy in the future no matter what I do. So, it might as well not exist."

『That’s some very strong I’m taking my ball and going home logic. Junko, if destroying the world doesn’t satisfy you, then have you tried changing your own personal world?』  
  
“No.”

『Why not?』  
  
_Stop talking._ _  
_ _It’s annoying._ _  
_ _Your voice is annoying._ _  
_ _Your whole presence is annoying.  
I can't...  
I can't quietly enjoy the show.  
Your voice is interrupting it. Stop trying to drag me on stage.  _

“It’s not that simple. You think… you think I haven’t tried? I’ve done everything I could and yet… I... “ She let go of his hand then, because her face had become wet. Why was her face so wet. Her makeup was going to smear, and yet all she did was clumsily wipe away at her eyes. She had no idea what this sensation was.

Kumagawa leaned over, and watched her face with an innocent look in his eyes. He slowly reached forward, and nudged her hand out of the way to see her face. 『Junko… are you crying? I don’t think I’ve… ever seen you really cry before. I-I’m sorry if my terrible voice made you sad.』  
  
“I cried because I felt nothing.” She corrected him quickly, her voice dead of emotion. “I’m scared of that. I don’t feel anything, nothing. I’m so very, very afraid of changing.” Wet, selfish tears fell from her face. She just wanted to stay exactly the same way she was. Even if the whole world would burn as a result. She did not want to risk losing, what little things she felt. That girl who had lived her entire life, without a shred of decency or empathy for anybody else, was not threatening to drown in self pity.   
  
_I told you._ _  
_ _There’s no human being that could possibly sympathize with me and remain human.  
_ _I'm just selfish to the last.  
It's stupid to care about a girl who seriously wanted to destroy the world over a minor existential crisis.  
_ _And yet…_ _  
_ _There was an idiot who loved me regardless. Someone who didn’t care at all about my faults._

“I always blamed the world, but it was me… huh… Wasn’t it?  The truth is… I couldn’t change.  
Despite the changings of the world around me. I couldn’t reach out, even when other’s reached for me. And, now, everything’s gone.Replaced by a fake world. It’s all-”

Kumagawa put his hand over hers again. She felt his bloodied hand, wet, hot. It was disgusting holding a hand like that, but she did not dare pull away. 『I’m still here, aren’t I? Besides, if you're scared doesn't that technically count as an emotion?』He reached out and put his hand against the back of her head, gently guiding her into the divet of his shoulder. 『I think it's way too sad. Believing something like, 'I just wasn't ever born to feel things, I was doomed from the start.' Aren't you at least a little more spiteful than that? You wanted to destroy the whole world out of spite after all, right! I know it's probably pointless, especially since you'll die either way even if you resolve to live but... I don't want you to die in a miserable way, I want you to die laughing out of spite at least, spite for the world that said you were born never to enjoy it. That's what we've always done before haven't we? Laugh in spite of pointlessness. The world is so absurd, everything you struggle for won't amount anything, doesn't that make you want to laugh? So, change yourself out of spite, until you can laugh again. If you really want to change the world so badly. You have to change yourself first.』

In between sobs, she muttered. _“_ Yeah, that’s right. Sorry. I realized it so late.”

『That’s okay. It’s better late than never.』

 _If I really wanted to change. I’d stop using others._ _  
_ _Yet._ _  
_ _His voice lingering in my ears, his scent, how sweaty his hand gets when I hold him. I can’t give them up even now. I can't’ even do it in my dreams._ _  
_ _These threads that tie us together are far too knotted and complicated, they just keep twisting and pulling tighter._ _  
_ _I know they’re going to choke the life out of him like a noose on his neck._ _  
_ _Yet, I want to hold on to the very last thread._

_I want to pluck on those strings, and see what faces he makes._

They had both forgotten about the mystery as she sat clutching onto him. Trying to feel something from his warmth. Eventually, a hazy question entered her mind and she asked it. “Hey… if we were to get out of the death game, if we were to leave this island, what would you do?”

Kumagawa froze for a moment. His eyes staring some far off place.『I… I don’t know. It's weird.... I don't think we've talked like this, this seriously for this long ever before.』  
  
“What a boring answer.”

『I don’t want you to be bored!』  
  
“Then do something.”

『I’ll… I’ll show you the world. I promised, didn’t I? I’m sure there are lots of miserable things for you to see, and if we’re together you’ll get dragged into lots of misfortune.』  
_  
_ Her eyes narrowed at him. "I guess... traveling around and making people miserable by hand would have a personal touch that blowing up the whole world at once wouldn't have."   
_  
_ _People don’t change so easily._ _  
_ _I’m very calculating._ _  
_ _Maybe what I feel now is just a delusion._ _  
_ _So, what should I do?_ _  
_ _These feelings are, entirely unexpected._

“Kumagawa. You going over to Medaka-chan’s side, it didn’t sit right with me. I felt like you were heading off to some faraway place.” Junko said, as she tugged at one of his strings. “You’re not going to leave me again are you?”

『Even if the world turns on you, I’ll always be on your side. Who else is going to laugh at you?』  
  
“Always is boring. Jus stay by my side. It doesn't have to be forever. It can just be until the end of the world.” Junko said, as she posessively dug her claws into him. Kumagawa was not like her, a lone entity. He could form attachments for others, he cared about all of those people. He wanted to value all of them. Perhaps, there was an ending where Kumagawa could get the family he wanted around all of his friends together. They would treat him much better than she ever would, but… _boring… boring… boring…_ She wanted him all to herself. She wanted to hoard this interesting thing for herself _. I’m just an empty void. I understand finally that you want me to grow, Misogi… but in order to grow, the void has to devour someone’s passion._ _  
_ _  
_ _Sooner or later,_ _  
_ _I’ll devour you._


	33. Smile at Despair in the Name of Laughter (5 - Glove Ungloved x Love Unloved)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Kirigiri spinoff novels are very wild. Apparently in one of them she has a clone that's a based off of alien plant DNA. I'm not sure how canon that is.

She was a cute girl, but her features left others with the impression of enigmatic mystery. Perhaps it could be said, she was the living embodiment of a mystery itself.  
  
Kirigiri Kyoko turned her head and saw she was sitting in a movie theatre. There were rows and rows upon seats a plush red, and the screen was bordered by red velvet curtains. She wanted to continue her detailed observations, but her sharp senses were interrupted by the sound of someone loudly munching on popcorn next to her.  
  
Next to her, a girl was dressed in a middle school sailor uniform, with black socks that went up to her thighs. Her brown hair was tied back with a yellow ribbon, but still fell at length behind her body. She had an odd way of sitting as well, crossing her legs and holding her knees  as she did as if she was too bored to simply sit still in one place for long. Her eyes were the most odd thing about her, dark brown and tinged with red, she had incredibly brilliant and bright eyes, eyes as bright as the sun but those eyes looked utterly inhuman at the same time.  
  
“I’m glad we finally got to talk in private, Senpai. Why did I bring you of all people here? You’re not even remotely connected to Kumagawa-kun, but you are Junko-chan’s natural enemy. The same way Medaka-chan and Kumagawa-kun are natural enemies. I suppose if you were to be overly simplistic you could say Naegi-kun is Junko-chan’s natural enemy because he has the same blind faith in hope that she does in despair, but you’re the one who does all the actual work.”  
  
“...” Kyoko was so alarmed by the strangeness of this situation she did not even want to speak. She simply let the other girl continue to ramble. She had been the first to encounter the strange existence named Ajimu Najimi when they transferred to Hope’s Peak after all, she gave her a tour of the school, but since that day she had not understood her once.  
  
“The man who designed this game thought Nanami Chiaki was her natural enemy, but I think he was mistaken. This is just my personal opinion as a reader, but Nanami-san was not shaped from birth the same way you and Junko-chan were. Simply put, she was born to be a villain, and you were born to be a detective. You’ve both been shaped because of your tremendous talents from birth…”

  
Ajimu Najimi smiled at her. Her face seemed to fade away in shadows, and Kirigiri could only see the teeth of that smile with an unsettling brightness. She had seen that face appear before on Kumagawa. “..And it’s because of those talents you’re both empty inside.”  
  
“Empty?” Kirigiri finally spoke up.  
  
“In other words, you’re both pure young maidens.”  
  
“Pure is the last word I’d use to describe Enoshima-san.”

“Isn’t pure good, or pure evil both pure? From a neutral point of view, they’d be the same thing anyway…” Ajimu Najimi casually continued to munch on popcorn. She looked entirely unrefined, even though she had a look of traditionally aged beauty about her. “I’ve wanted to talk to you for a long time after all. A detective always has to remain neutral right? Because, they don’t care about things like justice or the right thing to do, only the truth. They must pursue the truth with purity. I think that philosophy of yours, is very like my own.”  
  
“If you want to have rambling existential discussions in the middle of important situations go waste ENoshima-san’s time, not mine. How do I get out of here?”  
  
“You’re no fun.” Ajimu said quietly, before resting her chin in one of her hands and looking to the screen which was already beginning to display countdown numbers. “You can’t go anywhere quite yet, the show’s already starting.”

 _I looked at the screen._ _  
_ _There was a girl standing alone, in the middle of snowfall. She looked transparent to me. Maybe because her cold pale skin looked like it was blending into the snowy landscape. A ghost…? No, that would be ridiculous. Her evenly cut bangs fluttered in front of her eyes in the wind. That faint swaying was undeniable proof that she actually existed in the physical world. Maybe it was appropriate for someone like her to be standing in a corner of this lifeless, dreary world, but as far as a girl appearing on this screen before me she looked completely out of place._ _  
_ _Why am I staring at such a girl?_ _  
_ _Why am I being forced to watch this show._ _  
_ _…_ _  
_ _I realized it almost a moment too late._ _  
_ _That was my younger self._ _  
_ _Unable to recognize my own younger self, that’s like looking in a mirror and not realizing the reflection is you?_ _  
_ _“Ephemeral.”_ _  
_ _That was the only word I could think of when I tried to describe that sensation._

 ♛

 

Kirigiri  watched the scene, recognizing it fully now. Her younger self was standing there, talking to a high school aged detective. She remembered this, Samidere Yui. She was a girl who turned down an admission to Hope's Peak to pursue a career as a detective instead. Kirigiri had no idea at the time how that was possible, how somebody could want to do something outside their range of talents. The two of them were standing, talking in the snow.  
  
“For now, let’s just stick with those guys. If we get left behind in the snowy mountains like this, we’ll freeze to death before we can even accept the request.” Kirigiri nodded, back at her. She wondered why the other girl talked so much, Kirigiri herself perferred to keep quiet so she could keep her intentions hidden. “Incidentally,” She piped up, again interrupting her thoughts. “Why did you decide to become a detective? When you’re a detective in middle school, that alone means you have some reason behind it, right?”  
  
_What kind of person asks that of somebody they just met?_ _  
_ Kirigi wondered for a moment if this girl assumed she was like Detective Conan, a high schooler who had been poisoned until his body reverted to a younger age. Yes, even someone like her could get a reference like that. Her grandfather might be considered strict for restricting her reading material, but the truth was he was actually quite lenient. From a young age she could request to read whatever she wanted and her grandfather would give it to her. As long as those materials were detective related in some way. However, if it had nothing to do with a detective her grandfather would forbid her from reading it.  
  
All of that rambling in her internal monologue was to avoid answering the question. Her grandfather never answered her questions she asked of him, even from a young age when most children would ask endless curious questions of adults. Always, he would tell her to think for the answer herself. She had found as long as she thought about something hard enough she could always puzzle out the answer on her own, and therefore did not mind much that her grandfather did not tell her things. However, the reverse was true as well. If she did not think about something, she would never know it. She had become quite good at not thinking about certain things.   
  
She had never once thought about why she was a detective.   
  
“...I didn’t decide to become anything.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“I was born a detective.”  
  
“Hehehehe, what, are you trying to be like, hard-boiled with that?” Samidere Yui tried to make a joke, while looking down at Kyoko like she was some cute doll.   
  
Kyoko wondered absent minded what she was feeling at the moment. Now that she thought of it, she felt a little aggravated. These questions had absolutely nothing to do with the case at hand and yet she was being bothered by them. This girl should know not to talk to her like she was just some other girl on the street. She put on a grave expression, without even a hint of laughter to make it clear how serious she was.

"Is your family maybe in the detective business, then?"

"Yes," Kirigiri answered succinctly, as she brushed off the snow piling on top of her head.

"Ohhh, so you're going to inherit the family business."

"That's right." This time, she hid pride in her voice;

"You weren't put off by it?"

 _By what?_ _  
_

"Family business or not, detective work is something else. There are plenty of other life choices out there in the world, right? You could have been an idol, or a nurse, or a baker... People have been telling me for ages that girls aren't meant to be detectives."

"I've never thought of it in terms of like or dislike," answered Kirigiri, expressionless. "To me, being a detective and being alive are the same thing."  
  
It was the reason she had been born after all.  
It was the only reason her grandfather had raised her, even after her useless father abandoned her.  
She had been told this, time and time again.  
She did not consider this a bad thing.  
It was a good thing, to be born with a purpose, right?  
Everybody else wandered through life blindly, especially children her age but she had always known decisively what she wanted, and what she needed to accomplish that.  
Yes, she wanted to be a detective she enjoyed it more than anything else.  
If she was being more honest she would say it was the only thing she enjoyed.  
She really was born lucky then, to be born with a grandfather who loved so much the same thing that she did.

"That sounds like, super heavy... Are you saying that's what you've been taught?"

"Yes," Kirigiri affirmed readily. She had never once doubted that fact it gave her such a clear mind. However, crystal clear glass may have a great clarity but it was still easy to shatter.

That was why, Kirigiri kept looking aside. She wanted to speak of something else now, because she had never heard this conversation before. She did not like to think about things she did not know.  
  
"Yeees?" Yui prompted, and she quickly averted her eyes before opening her mouth to speak.

"...What about you?"

"Hm? You mean, why did I become a detective? Well, obviously... I wanted to be an ally of justice... I guess. Rescuing those in need! Yeah, that's gotta be what a detective is meant for."

She didn't show any particular reaction to Yui's passionate tone of voice. She had never even heard the word ‘justice’ associated with being a detective for. If  Yui were to say that she wished to be a ‘hero’ Kirigiri would have looked at her just as strangely.

"What's with that face? I'm being serious here."

"Hmmm... I see."

She was sure the girl said several more things after that, but Kirigiri had gotten enough information out of this person, and decided to stop listening to her. Sometimes she was envious of those detectives that liked to show off by deducing everything about a person’s liftestyle at a glance, because they probably had to endure conversations with other people a lot less than she did.  
  
That was right, this was a memory of the duelnoir cases she undertook with Samidere Yui. Not to commit a mortal sin and find the solution of a mystery novel by simply skipping to the end page and reading from there, but it was a case where she and a detective who was about high school aged and had a cynical personality worked together to break down a circuit of organizers who were making a life and death game out of helping those desperate for revenge plan the perfect crimes and be pursued by detectives attempting to solve those perfect crimes.  
  
It was eerily reminiscent of the current death game she was stuck in. The picturesque sirius observatory had even been renamed to the despairesque Sirius observatory. Either real life also adhered to the tradition of strict structure and literary parallels for thematic purposes, or Enoshima Junko was not as unique when it came to voyeuristically seeking out misery as she seemed to think she was.  
  
Five detectives had been invited to the observatory, but they lost consciousness and only two of them woke up, her and Yui.

"Still, what's up with you being the only person who escaped danger?"

"Perhaps it's thanks to my constant training," she said bluntly. "Sensing danger is my specialty. But, when I do sense it, it's often nothing more than a simple 'bad feeling' or 'foreboding', and so frequently it's only in looking back on events that I am able to string together a logical explanation of events... Grandfather calls it 'hearing the reaper's footsteps'."  
  
To train her senses, her grandfather prepared several ambushes whereever they happened to be living at the time. Even at the Kirigiri household she was settled in at the time, there were several traps that had been set up by her grandfather in advance that she would occasionally spring.  
  
She would be walking along, and the floor would come apart underneath her and then she would be stuck in a trap door like room for the rest of the day. If she called for help her grandfather would not come help her, because it was more important she find her own way out of the trap.  
  
She would be walking alone to school, and several men in masks would find her and take her away. In the trunk of the car, she would realize that they must have been sent by her grandfather and would slowly work to undo the chains that had been tied around her like an escape artist just like her grandfather told her.  
  
She would walk into a certain room to read, only for the door to suddenly swing shut behind her. After she investigated the door knob to find it was locked, she would have to do her best to figure out the trick of the locked room in order to escape it. There were times she could not figure it out right away, so she would simply sit down and wait as she grew hungrier, and hungrier. However, her grandfather never came to help and she deduced eventually he would not come even if it took weeks and that it was better to solve the puzzles on her own.

  
She only failed once. She had one particular bad memory of being chained up in one of her grandfather’s traps, in what looked to be an old store room. She could not escape herself, and she was only saved by pure chance, a passing stranger. It was the only time she had ever been hungry in her life. After that, she started to hate the sensation, the sounds, and everything associated with chains.  
  
Eventually her senses sharpened enough that she was able to avoid those traps all together, and on the odd chance that her grandfather did manage to spring on one her she would always keep completely calm and just think her way through it. Once she distanced herself from her emotions, everything became so much easier for her. There was no use in wasting time crying out for help, or being afraid when alone, she had no idea why others did it at this point.  
  
Even after she had gone out of her way to explain why she could not be the culprit even though she was the only other one alive in the room, the other girl still did not trust her.

"It was unremarkable, but unmistakably male. There's nowhere easier to sense the difference between men and women than the hands and fingertips."

"Hmmmm... Is that really true in practice, though? Have you ever held a man's hand before?"

She was taken aback by the question freezing in place.  There was a long pause—and then, she just decided to resume her explanation, and act as if nothing happened. It was always better to appear as if she was in control. "I have never murdered anyone, but I have read up on the sensations of murdering someone. This is a similar situation. You understand, don't you? Then, continuing on..."

"Sorry, sorry, that was a weird place for me to butt in," Yui  apologized. "I'm sure you've at least held your dad's hand before. That's enough for your logic, so everything's fine. Now, go on."

"I forgot about that."

"Huh?"

"I'm saying I forgot what my father's hand feels like." Kirigiri narrowed her eyes, brushing back her bangs with her right hand. That was the most emotional gesture she would ever let show, anything further was unnecessary.   
  
The only things she knew about the world, she had been taught.  
But her grandfather taught her a great deal. She had seen so much of the world, because her grandfather even at a young age had always brought her along by his side to show her the experiences of being a detective and solving mysteries.  
However, recently she could not continue always traveling around with her grandfather as Japan had mandatory schooling laws.  
Her grandfather still left on his own to solve cases around the world, but she was left alone at home with three other maids.  
  
The young girl grew up without affection from her father. And her grandfather, did not even try to connect with her as a person. Instead, when he would return from cases around the world he would give her all sorts of books to pass the time.  
  
She devoured all kinds of books, at several times the speed of average people, and drove everything into her head. She was allowed to read nonfiction books after all because all kinds of details and situations could come up in a detective case, just not unnecessary fiction books. From facts relevant to life, to useless trivia she imbibed fact after fact.  
  
Wherever she went, the name Kirigiri clung to her. Her family was famous worldwide, but they were also regarded the same way a cult would be. Out of misunderstanding, the parents whereever she was would always be sure to keep their kids away from her. Her childhood was a lonely one, but she was content as long as she had her books, and her mysteries.  
  
Until that one moment in time, until that other girl who asked her such strange questions. The two of them had survived the case together, and yet tha girl kept insisting on seeing her in her daily life.  
  
She was promoted two ranks as a detective after clearing such a difficult case and yet… she felt nothing at all about it. Yui Samidere continued to prod her about her lack of reaction. Kirigiri repeated what she always told herself. "If I want to be recognized as a detective, becoming Zero Class is the only way." Kirigiri's expression was stiff. It was the only way she could live. She wasn’t anything but a detective, it was the only thing she liked.  
  
_Why?_ _  
_ _What have I done?_ _  
_ _Why do I feel accomplished?_ _  
_ _Why do I want to become such a high ranked detective?_ _  
_ _Because I took out a bad guy?_ _  
_ _Because I outwitted someone stronger than me?_ _  
_ _Because I was strong._ _  
_ _Because I think my grandfather will acknowledge me?_ _  
_ _Probably not… but still…_ _  
_

No, it was the opposite. Her grandfather loathed the idea of detectives registering themselves and conforming to rankings. He would not say anything about her becoming a rank zero. Then, why did she do such a thing?  
  
The answer was simple.  
  
_It was fun._ _  
_ _It was fun._ _  
_ _It was fun._ _  
_ _It was fun._ _  
_ _It was fun.  
  
  
_ To her, being a detective was like being alive.  
The reverse was true as well, she only felt alive when she was acting as a detective. 

Suddenly, Yui spoke up interrupting her thoughts again. She was trying to reassure her.

"People will value you even if you just be yourself. You'll be fine. So don't worry too much about that part, okay?"

Kirigiri just averted her eyes, she had no intention of listening to Yui. 

"Being a high rank doesn't necessarily mean you're a good detective. I mean, just look at people like Kou Inuzuka."

"But it has value in itself in order to sell myself as a detective."

"Sell yourself...? You sound like you have a specific market in mind. Aren't you happy?"

"I am."

"Then c'mon, show me a smile! Why don't we take a photo to commemorate the occasion?"

"I was taught to restrain my emotions as much as possible," said Kirigiri, as she looked away and slid her card back into the notebook. 

Her grandfather had only ever raised a hand against her once.  
During her mother’s funeral service, it was snowing that day. Before her mother was even buried, her father had started to walk away. He simply kept walking, until he disappeared.  
Kirigiri waited for him, expecting for him to return.  
When he did not, she started to cry.  
Her grandfather had been waiting with her.  
Silently he held her hand the entire time.  
When he heard her soft sobs, her grandfather slowly turned around and caressed her face with the softness that only family could have. Then, he struck her hard slapping her across the cheek, hard enough to sting and turn the entire side of her face red.  
_That man is not worth shedding tears over._ _  
_ Her grandfather told her, in a clear and direct voice.  
_Being sad is useless now._ _  
_ _It won’t change the fact that your mother is dead._ _  
_ _It won’t change the fact that your father is gone._ _  
_ _If emotions interfere with your judgement as a detective you should just let them go._ _  
_ _Otherwise they serve no purpose._  
  
After that she was brought up by her grandfather’s words. Three times a day, her grandfather would tell her.  
  
“Don’t end up like your father. Because he couldn’t handle the pressure of being a detective, he abandoned his own daughter. He used his wife's death as an excuse to leave and pursue other opportunities, he only thought of himself. That man was born worthless, empty.”  
  
After talking about her father, he would go on.  
  
“Don’t make enemies, they’ll stab your heart. Don’t make friends, they’ll stab your back. Including me, and your father, all men are trash. Have nothing to do with others, live in isolation. You have no allies, you have no side to take, a detective lives purely to find the truth. ”  
  
Over ten years, she was told that 10,956 times.  
She had been raised only to be a detective, and that was why she had no reason at all to be one.  
  
In fact when she thought about how much fun she had for being a detective, she felt a bit guilty, as she was feeling something besides what her grandfather taught her to feel about being a detective.  
  
She did not want to be weak like her father. She did not want to be empty like him. She could fill herself up with being a detective. Her grandfather was like that, he lived only to be a detective. Kirigiri wanted to be just like him, she was sure of it.  
  
Yet, when she talked with this other girl who viewed being a detective so cynically she started to doubt herself. That girl asked strange questions, that a detective could not answer… but a person might be able to.  
  
Slowly, Kyoko started to wonder what it would be like to be a girl, born without any talent, without any connection to being a detective. She would just be living a normal life, with a mother and a father, or perhaps only a father, and without any prestige, talent, or purpose.  
  
That was probably a much emptier life, than the one she led now, right? On that day she asked Samidere Yui a question.

"Hey, Kirigiri-chan? Maybe you can't tell, but I'm really thankful for you," Yui's voice spoke up, and suddenly she was looking up at Yui again. "We met in the worst way, but I'm still glad that you were there with me. It's like... I've been working as a detective and going to school all this time, but I still just felt—off, no matter what I did. Like, why the heck am I doing this detective thing anyway?"

"I see."

"I, um... I've never told you this before, but I lost my little sister when I was younger."

Kirigiri watched Yui wordlessly, trying to discern the differences in their experiences. She had never thought so much about another human's life experiences until this point. She had not imagined a world outside the Kirigiri. 

"She was kidnapped, and then murdered before we ever got her back. That case is still unsolved. So yeah, that's why I became a detective. I felt so guilty that I couldn't protect my sister. What if I had been kidnapped instead? We looked so much alike. The more I think about it—"

"Sometimes, I start to lose sight of why I'm still a detective. Of course I want to be useful, and help people out when they're in trouble. But maybe I'm just fooling myself... or that's what I end up thinking, anyway. Maybe I just want forgiveness, and I'm just distracting myself from the truth with detective work..."

"Hmm."

"But when I look at you, that just seems like a stupid half-baked feeling. I—don't understand your reasons for being a detective, but you're just so brilliant at it. I thought I might want to learn from your straightforward attitude."

"My reasons for being a detective..." Kirigiri murmured, looking up at the snow. It was the first time she looked at the same sight with somebody else, and felt like she was looking at the same scenery. 

"You've never thought about it?"

"No," came the immediate reply.

"You're so cool. You're a born detective. But maybe one day... you'll start to doubt yourself like I do. If that ever happens, try to stay pure, the way you are now. I just wanted to tell you that one thing."  
  
At that moment, Kirigiri felt something like a knife in the back.  
The kind that would show up in a page turner novel, just as the hard boiled detective began to trust the femme fatalle he had playfully been getting close to.  
Just when she was starting to question herself, those words were like an icicle in her heart.  
  
_That’s right._ _  
_ _I was right all along._ _  
_ _It’s better living without hesitation, without unnecessary emotion, without clouded judgement. There’s nothing gained by being confused._ _  
_ _I only need to be a detective._ _  
_ _I really am lucky to have been born into this family of detectives._ _  
_ _At that moment, it became crystal clear to me. I thought that clarity was a good thing, letting lights of all color pass through without interruption._ _  
_ _I became fragile like glass._ _  
_ _If I ever stopped to think, about how this girl who I had come to care about, regarded me the same way as father, as grandfather, that she was just like them._ _  
_ _Then I would have shattered, I think._

She still continued to press Yui, and ask her questions as they continued their daily life. Until one day Yui had actually met her father, Kirigiri immediately interrogated her.

“Do you think what my grandfather said earlier was strange? Is it strange to prioritize detective work even if it involves the death of a family member.”  
  
The reason her father had angrily left that day.  
Is because she was out of the country, solving a mystery with grandfather when her mother fell ill. Even when her father begged her to come home, her grandfather would not allow it. Even if she believed in her grandfather, and agreed with his teachings, she had always wondered if that was the right thing.  
  
“I consider it strict rather than strange. It really does show how much dedication the Kirigiri family has to being a detective.”  
  
“... That isn’t what I mean… For a Kirigrii, their work as a detective is far more imporant than the death of a family member. This is a doctrine that must be adhered to, as if like a religion… Do you think that’s strange.”  
  
“It’s not very normal, but it’s amazing how much pride you have in your abilities.”  
  
“No… but, is it not normal?”  
  
“What do you think?”  
  
“I don’t think of it as strange at all, but… that could because I’ve convinced myself that it hasn’t…because if I don’t think that way, I’ll end up empty inside.”

 _Yes… I remember. That day._ _  
_ _I wanted Yui to disagree with me._ _  
_ _To tell me that the Kirigiris were wrong._ _  
_ _That my grandfather was wrong, because I could not do it myself._ _  
_ _But, she was blinded by the purity of which I devote myself to becoming a detective._

 _I don’t blame her though, for not being able to figure out things that I could not even figure out about myself._ _  
_ _My name is Kirigiri Kyoko. I am the Ultimate Detective._ _  
_ _My greatest unsolved mystery is myself._ _  
_ _I have no idea, why I am a detective, or why I want to solve mysteries._ _  
_ _Only that if I were to stop, I would have nothing._ _  
_ _Like the time I was chained up and did not know how to escape._ _  
_ _I don’t even know how I would stop being a detective._ _  
_ _Being a detective is restrictive, it’s heavy, it’s like chains around me._ _  
_ _If I let go though, I’ll have no weight at all, I’ll simply float away._

 

 ♛

 _  
_ _  
_ “Wow, the detective’s greatest unsolved mystery is themself. You might have a flare for storytelling after all.” Ajimu Najimi said, from her position in the audience. “Are you sure it’s accurate to call that a religion? Usually… when a religion is forced down a child’s throat like that in their upbringing, it’s called a cult.”  
  
Kyoko had had enough. She showed the most emotion she had in awhile by suddenly standing up and glaring at the other woman in the theatre with her.  
  
“What do you care anyway? You’re not even a human being, you have no reason to be watching over us, past, present or future.”  
  
“If that’s your logic, then why do you care? You’re not a human being after all, you’re a detective.”  
  
Ajimu Najimi smiled at her.  
A smile so unnerving, that Kirigiri Kyoko immediately woke up from her dream as if it was a nightmare, sitting up suddenly and feeling a cold sweat run down her forehead. She looked around her poorly lit cabin, and noticed something.

 _Ah._ _  
_ _This place is empty._ _  
_ _That’s because Naze Youka is dead, she was persecuted as a criminal._ _  
_ _I accepted that fact much too easily._ _  
_ _Perhaps she’s right…_ _  
_ _Perhaps I’m not human after all..._

She got up and tried to pour herself some tea she kept in her room, to keep herself awake for the rest of the night. As the tea finished though, as she went to pour it, she ended up spilling it. She had poured herself tea a hundred times with even less sleep than she had gotten tonight, she wondered what was wrong.   
  
Kirigiri Kyoko looked at her hands, and noticed they were shaking.  She quickly crossed her arms and held onto the fabric of her jacket tight, in order to steady herself.

 _  
_  ♛

 

Kirigiri Kyoko left her cabin, and was on her way to the fourth island. It was not like she would be getting any sleep due to the whims of annoying non-human so she might as well spend that time investigating.

  
As she walked across the boardwalk that connected their individual cabins, she noticed Hitoyoshi Zenkichi and Kurokami Medaka were sitting together on the edge of the board walk, their feet dangling from the side.  
  
Kyoko stopped for a moment, pausing standing there with her arms crossed. “What are you two doing up so early? You’re not plotting something together, are you?”

“What? There’s no way!”  
  
“Perhaps, Hitoyoshi-kun is the only one who is plotting, and he’s plotting something against Kurokami-san when they’re alone.”  
  
“I would never do such a thing, my heart is pure!”  
  
“You can relax, I was just joking.” Kyoko said as she uncrossed her arms. Kurokami Medaka was as straight and true, and so was Hitoyoshi Zenkichi in both senses of the word. Even somebody like Kyoko who had had all potential male suitors beaten away by her grandfather with a cane, which made it difficult to make friends growing up, could detect the obvious romance between the two, and how it was ironically complicated by how straightforward and selfless the two of them were.  
  
If Hitoyoshi Zenkichi had been just a little more selfish, a little more flawed of a person, the kind of person who made a move when the two of them were alone then he probably would have been happier. That was Kirigiri’s objective observation anyway. She was in no way relating this to her experiences with another boy who like Zenkichi did not have a single selfish thought in his body and therefore never once made a move on her or acted on his feelings.  
  
Kurokami tilted her head to the side, and poked Hitoyoshi Zenkichi in the cheek. “Zenkichi, what are you getting so worked up about?”  
  
“N-nothing!” Zenkichi said, his face reddening as he looked away.  
  
Kurokami only watched him in confusion though. She still did not understand people. Yet, it made her as curious as a cat. She always watched people with fascination. Which is why she did not simply let Kyoko shrug and continue walking after she had finished taunting Zenkichi. “What are you doing awake this early?”  
  
“I could ask the same of you,” Kirigiri said dismissively.  
  
However, Kurokami Medaka did not seem to perceive the dismissiveness in her voice. “I had nightmares again about my sister. I tried to crawl into Zenkichi’s bed to go back to sleep but he wouldn’t let me, so we’re staying awake together instead.”  
  
“I see…”  
  
“You know, you’re a little bit like her.”  
  
“Hmmm?”  
  
“You both value your stoicity above all else. That’s what I respected the most about my sister. She gave all of herself into what she did no matter what. She had even more drive than me. Can you sit and talk for awhile? I’d be nice… to talk to somebody who reminds me of her.”

Kirigiri could not say no to such a request. Even if she felt out of place in what was clearly an intimate moment. She walked to the other side of Kurokami Medaka, and sat down letting her boots dangle off the side of the dock too. “Do you have lots of memories with your sister?”  
  
“No… She ran away when we were really young.”  
  
“I see. I also have a family member like that. I didn’t meet him again until I was in high school.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to remind you of unpleasant memories.”  
  
“It’s neither unpleasant nor pleasant, it’s simply the reality of the situation. There was a time a year ago when I resented my father and only came to that school to tell him off but I’ve since dealt with such feelings. There’s no point in holding a grudge any further.”  
  
“I see, you’re very logical Kirigiri.”  
  
“Aren’t you a logical one as well, genius girl?” Kirgiri said, tilting her head back and raising an eyebrow at the other girl.  
  
“Medaka-chan’s the furthest thing from logical. Who knows what trajectory her brain gets to reach the conclusions that it does.” Hitoyoshi said, leaning over Medaka’s shoulder to join in on Kirigiri’s conversation.  
  
“Zenkichi, I’m right here you know, and my logic makes perfect sense to me.”  
  
“Logic should be universal, shouldn’t it? I’ve been watching you since you were a kid and I still don’t understand your logic.”  
  
“Perhaps you’re just a slow learner.” She said, glaring back at Hitoyoshi.  
  
Hitoyoshi suddenly mimed like he had been stabbed in the chest. “Since when did you become so sassy? Uwah! A surprising sneak attack! I’ve been finished in one blow!” He then collapsed backwards and fell, his head landing in Kurokami Medaka’s lap.The two of them seemed perfectly comfortable with one another, whether it was criticizing each other, joking around, or getting so close so suddenly with someone watching. Kurokami put a hand on Zenkichi’s head, and ran fingers through his messy blonde hair.  
  
Kyoko simply let her gaze drop, unable to keep looking at the scene. She looked to the water instead, crystal clear, guileless, formless, just like her. “I’m sorry, I don’t really know what having a sister is like so there’s not much I can say about yours, Kurokami-san.”  
  
“You don’t have any siblings at all?” Kurokami said, looking at Kirigiri once more with the same eager curiosity. Kirigiri wondered if Medaka was truly empathic, or if she just treated human beings the same way she would treat a mystery.  
  
“There was somebody who I almost thought of a sibling once, but that’s unimportant. My only family is my grandfather and my father, neither of them have really ever felt like family but the Kirigiris are a clan of detectives first before they are family.”  
  
“That sounds weird...” Kurokami Medaka said suddenly, out of the blue, like a rock being thrown at a window. The words she had wanted to hear from Samidere at the time.  
  
“Medaka-chan, you can’t just call people weird that’s rude! Like you should be talking anyway coming from the super rich family, and the dad that has seven wives.”

“Well then, if I think it sounds weird it must be extra special weird.” Kurokami said again, stubbornly refusing to desist.

  
“It might be weird, indeed…” Kirigiri said, mirroring Kurokami’s phrasing. “But, that’s the price I paid for my talent as a detective. I consider it worth it.”

“Is that what you really think?”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“That’s how… I used to be with my sister.”  
  
Kurokami Medaka explained a simple scene.  
Two sisters were walking down the hallway.  
This was just about the time they had transferred to Hope’s Peak.  
  
“...Is fine but… Kurokami, why do I have to do this job together with you?”  
  
“Former president is a shy person, if we come in large numbers he won’t meet us, big sister.”  
  
“No, no, Medaka-chan. That’s not what I’m asking.” Her sister reached into the collar of her uniform, and drew out a needle. She immediately held it in front of the eye of the other girl. Kurokami Medaka did not flinch at this sudden development, her only reaction was a slight downturn of the corners of her lips into a small frown as if she were pouting.  
  
“Why do I have to get along with you! And why must I cooperate with you? Don’t misunderstand Kurokami, I swore to absolutely obey big brother because of Koga-chan. It’s not like I want to make up with you.”

  
Medaka’s eyebrows pinched tightly, but she still did not move. She only continued to pout at her sister.  
  
It was Naze who hesitated first. She lowered her gaze, keeping her one eye focused on Medaka. “....What? Do you have any complaints?” Unable to take her sister’s unflinching gaze, Naze was the first to give up. She withdrew the syringe and spun it around in her fingers absent mindedly while she walked on ahead.  
  
“I really don’t understand you at all.”  
  
Kurokami was silently observing her.  
  
“Are you really my little sister?”  
  
She was always listening to her older sister, even such unpleasant remarks.  
  
“I don’t feel anything about it.”  
  
“.... Trying to understand you. I have no intention to do something like that either, big sister.”  
  
Naze stopped storming off, and turned around. Her one eyed gaze contracted, and the knife continued to dangle from her head. “....What?”  
  
“There’s a gap of six years between you and I, and I don’t think it can be filled up that easily. Though, it’s a problem for me if you think so. I’m not trying to do something as boring as make up with you. Our reconciliation, exists dramatically.” Strutting, like a lone cat Kurokami Medaka walked pridefully ahead. “The reason I want you to come together with me is because your wavelength matches his. I just want to raise our success of finding him…”  
  
In the present, Kirigiri Kyoko brought her fingers to her chin, tapping them lightly to the neat and orderly rhythm of her thoughts. “So, you lied to your sister at the time about your true intentions in order to spend time with her?”  
  
“No. At the time I was serious, I did not want to do something as boring as reconcile with her…When it could exist dramatically.”  
  
“Medaka-chan’s always been like that, in the past she just always decided everything on her own. It was a pain to keep up with.”  
  
Kurokami Medaka’s always confident face, hesitated for a moment. “I… If I had actually tried to do the boring thing, and work things out with her slowly, I wonder if things would be different now.”  
  
“Kurokami-san, do you regret letting go of your wish to make everyone happy? Even though without it… you’re empty right now.”  
  
“I was empty all along, I was just deluding myself into thinking otherwise.” Kurokami said, looking down at the boy in her lap. “I don’t know what to do anymore, and I don’t know how to solve this situation. The past me who was always confident probably would have solved this situation much more efficiently but… somehow… all of these struggles that I’m feeling. Even though they should weigh me down, I feel a lot more free. I must be free before I can be happy, that is what I decided.”

Hitoyoshi Zenkichi stared back up at her from her lap. “I want you to be happy… happier than anyone else…”  
  
“You don’t have to be so competitive about it, Zenkichi.”  
  
“I don’t want to hear it coming from the most competitive person, on planet earth.”  
  
Kirigiri Kyoko got hit with the distinct impression that she was interrupting a moment again. She looked to her gloved hand, and in particular her wrist and felt the phantom sensation of a weight that was not there. Being a detective was the only thing she found fun, she genuinely enjoyed it. Yet, at the same time she wondered when it had started feeling so heavy, when her body had started feeling so heavy, like there was a chain dangling off her wrist.  
  
“Perhaps, we shouldn’t waste time talking about perosnal matters.” Kirigiri changed the subject as she reached up to brush her hair behind her ear with her fingertips, she did not want to waste any more time staring at her hands. “We have to figure out how to allow those two to escape the next motive and prevent another killing from happening.”  
  
“That’s the other reason I couldn’t sleep. I was too worried about Kumagawa.”  
  
Suddenly, even Kirigiri who had been trained for ten years on how to compose herself could not stop herself from making a disgusted face. Her eyebrows twitched, her forehead had been pulled so tight that it wrinkled, her mouth was pulled into a sour expression. “Really… you’re worried about a guy like him?”  
  
“He’s my most precious enemy after all.”  
  
“Umm…”  
  
“I can understand why you would dislike him though, Kirigiri. After all you are a detective who pursues the truth with a pure heart, whereas Kumagawa is a dirty hearted liar.”

 

 _It’s true he’s a liar, but that’s not the reason I hate him._ _  
_ She thought. _  
  
_

_When Kyoko came back she handed the bag Kumagawa carried the rest of Junko’s clothes in back to him. “I’m surprised you two made up.” She said. This is also irrelevant but Junko’s panties were black with the red symbol of Monokuma’s evil eye in the middle of them. She really was consistent with her wardrobe, and her bear obsession._

_『What’s that supposed to mean?』Kumagawa said hugging the bag to his chest. It was rare for him to actually get so worked up over an insult, as he accepted and agreed with what most people accused him of._

_“I’m not sure what she sees in you, I guess. If she wanted to be around a normal person like Makoto I suppose that would be one thing, but not only are you untalented you’re just as inhuman as all of the talented people.”_

_『Ehhhh? Is it that hard to believe that I have a connection with Junko-chan. Why? You think it’s because of ‘talent’ right. That father of yours must be rubbing off on you, little Kirigiri-chan.』_

_At this, the unease that Kyoko was feeling finally slipped out. Kumagawa was an expert at prying such negative emotions out of people, though it really was not something he should be praised for. “What are you talking about? What does my father have to do with it?’_

_『Your father pretends to be concerned for the students, but he just cares about talent in the end. He does the same to you, doesn’t he? He constantly praises you for how good of a detective you are, even though he hates the same grandfather that kicked him out of his clan for being a poor detective. I bet it’s because he feels somewhat responsible for creating you, so he can finally feel like something besides the only untalented hack in a family of geniuses.』_

_“Are you insulting my father?”_

_『Huh? No. Untalented hack are words of praise from me. I just think he’s a little misguided is all. No wonder you can’t call yourself as human, both your father and your grandfather keep seeing you as a detective. Lies aren’t always worse than the truth, talent isn’t always better than no talent. I’m sure if your father had been born with talent though he’s still be a hack.』_

_It’s because on that day he told me the truth._ _  
_ _That’s why I hate him._

 _  
_ When she met Yui Samidere, she had hoped somebody who turned down pursuing what they were talented in jumping, and instead becoming a detective for personal reasons could be the one to point out how warped an existence she was.  
  
However, the person to finally point it out, was a talentless, tactless loser. An equally warped existence as her. _  
_

_“... Aside from him being hidden, he may have been killed simply because he had met me…”_

_“R-Really?” Jin thrust his hands onto his desk as if he was about to stand again. “Tell me, why?”_

_Looking at the man - Kyouo felt a feeling similar to disappointment. She reflected that emotion in her gaze. She looked at him as if saying she didn’t know why either - in contrary to her expectations, the man did not bother to notice her expression at all._

_“I asked you to tell me…”_

_After letting out a deep sigh, Kyoko answered quietly._

_“He may have been killed like that to send out a warning… assuming members of the steering committee are being killed due to ‘that incident’.”_

_Kirigiri Jin gulped down the remaining saliva in his already dry mouth._

_“Do you… already know? About The Worst, Largest Incident in Hope’s Peak Academy’s History…”_

_“To an extent.” Kyoko replied unexpectedly straightforwardly, Jin frowned._

_“I see…” As he said that, he slowly stood up from his chair. He blinked trying to take to heart what she said before asking again._

_“So then, in short, members of the steering committee are being killed because we chose to cover up ‘that incident’?”_

_“No, it’s not only that.” Kyoko shook her head slightly. “It’s not just because the steering committee are covering up the incident, but also because of something else just as important is being hidden… I would wonder if it were that person instead.”_

_Hearing that Jin took a moment to think of a proper response and muttered quietly with a thoughtful expression, “Perhaps… the committee knew who the culprit was, and have been hiding it?”_

_“... I knew it.” For the first time since entering the room, Kyouko eyes met Jin's. “I thought you didn’t about the criminal being hidden. I didn’t think you were even supposed to ask me about it… I see now, you were also involved with the criminal’s concealment.” Her words carried a feeling of irritation._

_“No, you’re wrong.” Jin quickly shook his head in response. “I wasn’t informed that the criminal was also being covered up. That’s something the steering committee had decided by themselves. For that matter, they haven’t told me anything directly. I’ve been investigating everything myself.”_

_As he said that Kyoko frowned. “...You’ve been investigating by yourself?”_

_“Is that really so strange?” Jini replied bitterly, “I’ve been doing as much as I can. After all, the blood of the great detective family flows in my veins-”_

_“STOP IT!” Kyoko suddenly shouted._

_In surprise, Jin raised his head and looked at her - Kyoko was patiently glaring at him._

_The girl didn’t bother to try hiding the emotions bubbling up inside of her. Eyes filled with anger looked straight at Jin. Looked straight at her employer. Looked straight at the school principal. Looked straight at her biological father._

_“Don’t say it liked some kind of sick joke.” That’s why-_

_“... Sorry.”  He could only apologize. “... That was tasteless of me.” As he said that, he deeply bowed. No matter what the reasons were, no matter what her thoughts were, if she looked at him, he was only reminded of the home and daughter he abandoned. He wasn’t wrong in doing so. He was not going offer any excuses, he had no reason to._

_But at the very least-_

_He could tell her his thoughts-_

_No, he couldn’t say that either._

_“... It’s fine.” A voice replied as his head rose - Kyouo had returned to her cool, collected appearance. She was leaning against a bookcase on the wall. “Let’s get back on topic.” She continued, calmly._

_“Sorry, well then…”Jin expelled a deep sigh. However, he had some trouble concentrating. Kyoko then said something that surprised him. The words spilled from her lips a struck him like a sword._

_“It’s Kamukura Izuru… isn’t it?”_

_Jin reacted slightly. His eyes, his fingertips, his breathing - Kyoko didn’t miss his reaction._

_“... I was right?” As if he had been put under arrest by her gaze - Jin had remembered something. No, not remembered, it was hatred, the eyes of the detective clan he had become so scared of. The eyes that glared at criminals, that spied, that could detect any secret. His own daughter glared at him with such eyes, Jin's mouth slackened  
_

_As to be expected, she has the talent of the Kirigiri family!_

_What a wonderful talent!_

_“... What’s wrong?” Kyoko inquired._

_“Nothing, I was just a little impressed…” Jin answered, smiling slightly._

_As Jin finished, something struck Kyoko as odd._

_It wasn’t something Jin had said, but rather how he said it. ‘Somewhere out there, the incident is still continuing’ was what he said, that’s what Kyoko noticed. Through his tone and gestures he conveyed a feeling of seriousness. But that wasn’t all. There was a slight slip of emotion._

_Unintentionally, she was reminded of her grandfather._

_Kyoko’s grandfather, Kirigiri Jin’s father - was continuing actively as a detective as well as the head of the family. Kyoko’s first job as a detective, though it was only an assistant role, was to help carry out some operations with him. Her grandfather had watched over as she carried out her role better than he had expected, he did not say anything but his expression was proud._

_The man in front of her had a similar expression to the one her grandfather had back then. However she dared not say anything._

At this revelation, Kirigiri Kyoko made no outward change in her expression. Kurokami Medaka and Hitoyoshi Zenkcihi were watching her after all, and they both had their own troubles they were consumed by.  
  
Besides, this was nothing new. She had always known, both her grandfather and her biological father had only ever seen her as a detective. She stood up suddenly, mumbling some excuse and walked away. She really did have somewhere to be, so it’s not like she had told a lie.

 

 ♛

 

On the fourth island, Kirigiri Kyoko finally made it to where she had asked Ikusaba Mukuro to meet up with her. The amusement park lights were still on, and glowed faintly, in the low light of the early morning.  
  
Immediately after meeting with her, Ikusaba Mukuro took point. She walked around the other girl, looking like a protective dog as she watched from every angle. Kirigiri Kyoko crossed her arms, and raised an eyebrow at the other girl. “What exactly are you doing?”  
  
“I’m remaining vigilant. We don’t know what kind of trap Monokuma used to ensnare Junko, and Misogi-chan. Just walking on the island could be dangerous.”

“You don’t ever turn military mode off, do you?”  
  
“Hmmm? It’s just what I’m used to. I ran away to join Fenrir when I was a child, and since then I’ve seen countless battle fields after all…” Ikusaba said in a voice without any particular emotion.  
  
As she walked along Ikusaba’s side, she could not help but wonder what exactly was the difference between the two of them. Ikusaba was a soldier, always a soldier first. She was a detective, always a detective first.  
  
Yet, when she had seen Ikusaba next to Makoto’s side that emotionless girl smiled without even realizing it. She looked like a human being for the first time. However, Makoto was not even here. And no matter how much Kirigiri dwelled on it, the reality would not change. So she forcibly changed the subject. “We should recap what we know so far. It might be, that the only way for us to free those two without another death happening is to corner the mastermind this round.”  
  
“What we know so far… There’s an organization called the future foundation that is somehow involved with these things, and Makoto if he’s not in this simulation… he might be with them. His name appeared on those files we found after all.”  
  
Kirigiri pushed open the doors of the great Nezumi castle. The two of them walked together inside, side by side. “There’s also a traitor who is in league with the mastermind. They’re also the one responsible for us being trapped here.” Kirigiri Kyoko looked at the floor and saw there were several screw markings, that had erased and obscured what looked like a carving that had previously been left in the floor. There was only one person associated with screws. _Kumagawa Misogi._  
  
“The traitor is the role I would have served in the original game, oh… but I’m not the traitor this time around. If you can’t trust me… I don’t know what I’ll do to prove myself. Umm… one time when you were meeting with a steering council member and the member suddenly died, that was me. I murdered him dressed up as my sister.”

“You don’t have to keep confessing the things you did in the past.”  
  
“Is confessing not enough? Should I bow my head and lick your boots too?”  
  
“Ummm…”  
  
“If you want you can light a cigarette and I’ll use my hands as the ash tray.”  
  
“What… what exactly did your sister do to you?” Kirigri paused as the two of them started to walk out of the castle again.  
  
“Umm… everything, I guess…” Ikusaba looked away.  
  
Kirigiri could not understand it ne bit, Mukuro’s loyalty for so long to somebody who had treated her so poorly. Before she could dwell on that thought, suddenly something was thrown at her feet.  
  
The moment the two of them had stepped out of the castle, Ajimu Najimi appeared before them sitting slyly on one of the stone decorative statues that sat outside the castle. Kirigiri looked down and picked up the file that had been thrown at her.  
  
“What is this?”  
  
“It’s part of the reward Kumagawa-kun, and Junko-chan got for investigating this island. She just left it laying around.”  
  
“Enoshima-san did that?”  
  
Behind her, Ikusaba Mukuro looked over her shoulder. “That sounds like my sister. For a genius and a master tactician she’s very umm… lazy… sometimes… all of the times.”

Kirigiri picked up the file and paged through it. Immediately, she saw a girl with lilac hair and eyes staring back at her on one of the pages. Oh, this was her own face. As she read it over, the file was an investigative report filed by the Futute Foundation on an even called the ‘Killing School Life.’ During that time, the mastermind Enoshima Junko and her collaborator Ikusaba Mukuro had been killed as well as several other members of their class in the killing game.  
  
“Why… why does the mastermind keep hinting that there was a previous killing game?” Kirigiri said, unable to piece together the strange hints that they had been given. “Ikusaba-san, the mastermind said our memories weren’t erased, is that right?”  
  
“Yes. Junko’s plan was to erase all two years of our memories of our time at Hope’s Peak, but we can still remember our school life so…”

“Did the first killing game ever take place?”  
  
“No, Kumagawa prevented it.”  
  
“How?”  
  
“He showed up at the last minute and screwed the Ultimate Despairs to the wall, and stopped Junko and erased everyone’s memories.”  
  
“That’s… convenient…almost too convenient… do you think our memories could be wrong?” Kirigiri looked at the file in front of her. She wondered for a moment if she really could have survived a killing game before this one and forgotten all about it. If, instead of being stuck on this island with Ikusaba Mukuro she could have been in the middlle of a game with Makoto instead.  
  
At that moment, Ajimu Najimi smiled. Tilting her head, and narrowing those inhuman eyes on Kyoko. “Just for a second there, you thought. That would be nice, didn’t you? You’re a cold one, aren’t you Kirigiri-san.”  
  
“What are you doing anyway? Isn’t it your role to be a passive observer. It’s odd to see you this active.”  
  
“The disgraced former antagonist, now humiliated and depowered has no choice but to help the heroes, is that the role I’m supposed to be playing?” Ajimu Najimi said, as she idly kicked her legs dangling off of the headless gargoyle statue she was sitting on. “A girl can only put up with so much for so long before she gets bored, you know.”  
  
“So you’re just stirring the pot for its own sake? You’re just as shallow as Enoshima-san.”  
  
“Comparing me to Junko-chan that’s mean!” Ajimu whined leaning into the conversation now. “Or perhaps you’re being mean to your former classmate by comparing her to a non-human like me. Well, it’s not like you were ever classmates with her anyway. You never opened your heart to your classmates.”  
  
“If you’re not going to say anything helpful you can just leave. Enoshima Junko and Kumagawa MIsogi are going to starve if left alone, I don’t have time to waste on you.”  
  
Ajimu Najimi made a thoughtful face for a moment. “How about… you tell Ikusaba to kill herself.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“If it was for the sake of everybody else, she would do it. She’s a person whose killed countless people in the past after all and she wants to atoe. Besides, she would be saving two of her most precious people that way.”  
  
“A suicide to prevent another death is entirely illogical. I wouldn’t ask Ikusaba-san to take her life.”  
  
“It would be better for you, too…”  
  
“...?”  
  
“After all, Ikusaba-san is in the way. If she hadn’t gotten in the way and snatched him up, things would have progressed much more naturally between you and Makoto, don’t you think?”  
  
“Why would I be worried about something petty like that?”  
  
“You think you’re above such petty desires? But… just a moment ago weren’t you thinking, _it’d be nice if things happened like it did in the file and Makoto and I survived the killing game together and grew closer.”_ _  
_

“I… I wouldn’t think that.”  
  
“That must be a lot of hatred your suppressing, if you can shrug off something so casually as the end of the world without showing any emotion.”  
  
“Shut up.”  
  
“Hey, who is it that you hate? Your mother for dying? Your father for leaving you? Your grandfather for raising you? Everything in this whole world?”

“I just wanted to have a family, is that so wrong!?” Kyoko finally snapped, emotion bubbling up again from her throat, she had swallowed so much but it was all pointless now because it was about to come spilling out. “Makoto was the only person who didn’t see me as a detective… I thought we could become a family, but… we can’t… I waited too long and I lost my chance. I’m trying to deal with it… it’s not my fault, I don’t have a father, or a grandfather, so please leave me alone okay?”  
  
Suddenly, Kyoko became unable to stand on her own but before she could even fall she was caught by Ikusaba Mukuro. Mukuro slung Kyoko’s arm around her shoulder and turned around. She ignored Ajimu Najimi, because her sister was enough of a troublesome bored girl she had to deal with and she would accept no others besides her sister. She only had one sister in the whole world after all.  
  
She brought Kyoko all the way back into the castle, slung over her shoulder like she was some kind of fallen soldier she refused to abandoned. Mukuro set her down carefully on the stone cold floor, and then sat next to her. She looked over her shoulder at the door. “She can’t come in here, just like the ruins. If she’s bothering you, then we can just sit here and wait for her to get bored and leave.”  
  
“...”  
  
“I… agree with Ajimu-san that my life is generally worth less than others, and I think you would be much better off if Makoto was in this game with you instead of me. I’m useless on my own after all. I think… I left the only good part of myself with him.”  
  
“...”  
  
“But I’m happy you stood up for me anyway, even though it only hurt you. So… thank you.”  
  
“...”  
  
“I’m sorry, I’m not good at talking at this sort of thing. I can’t sound clear and decisive like you do, and I’m not controlling my emotions either. I’m just stunted, and incomplete as a person, but umm… what happened with your father and grandfather.”  
  
Kyoko had been keeping herself silent, because she knew if she spoke up her voice would crack and she would begin to cry. If she cried, she’d feel the phantom sting of her grandfather’s hand on her cheeks. Those emotions were useless to this situation after all, and they would only worry Ikusaba who was currently looking to her for strength.  
  
Slowly, she opened her mouth and in a monotone voice, explained everything that happened between her father and grandfather.  
  
“I see… it must have been hard.”  
  
“Why are you saying that? You have it way worse than me. Your sister you into her little minion and stained your hands pitch red. My grandfather made me into a detective, that’s a good thing. It’s much more prestigious than being made into a terrorist.”  
  
“I… I think our situations are comparable. After all your grandfather raised you to be a detective first, and a person second. My sister raised me to be a tool to her first, and a sister second.”  
  
“It’s not the same at all…” For the first time, Kirigiri tried to flash her an endearing smile—or it felt like it, at least. Her expression had barely changed. “Ahahaha… that way you have of putting others always above yourself, that’s just like Makoto.”  
  
Yet, even as she tried to change the subject to something more light hearted, even as her face barely moved, Ikusaba watched her and read her face. “What a face, Kiri…”  
  
“I intended it to be an ordinary smile, how did you see it?”  
  
“I saw the face of a crying girl.”  
  
“I…” Kirigiri felt chains tighten. Around her wrist around her ribs, around her heart. She had never realized that the chains could be this deeply entwined to her. “Did you know how sad I was when mom died, or how painful it was when dad never came back? But… Granfather and Dad both took all of their pain out on me. It would have been great if I had a place to cry. If I could have cried to anybody, it would have been great!”  
  
“I’m sorry… I know how difficult it is, when the only love the person you need it from the most can give you is twisted. Yet, you know it’s still love.” Ikusaba said, reaching out for Kirigiri once more.  
  
KIrigiri slapped her hand away. “But there’s a limit to twisted! Don’t joke with me! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Are you a clown, just like your sister!?”  
  
“No… I’m like you, I don’t have a family either.”  
  
“Yes you do! You have Enoshima-san, Kumagawa-kun and Naegi-kun! Why is it you? What’s the difference between us!? You’re just a soldier, and I’m just a detective… so, why do I have nothing?”  
  
“I… I think Makoto would want to be your family too. You don’t have nothing.” Ikusaba Mukuro reached forward and peeled off her glove. On the back of her hand, there was a tattoo associated with the military group Fenrir. She always kept it hidden with her glove, and when she was at school she had covered it with foundation makeup. The only person to see it other than her sister, Kumagawa, was Naegi. Now, she was showing it to Kirigiri. “C-can I hold your hand, Kiri?”  
  
“I can’t take my gloves off…”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“I hurt my hands when I was young, and grandfather told me it was alright because the scars would be a permanent proof of my mistake I could learn from, but he told me to keep them covered up so nobody else could see my vulnerability. He said I should only take them off in front of family.”  
  
“You can show them to me. If you want to be Makoto’s family, then you’ll be my family too since I’m his future wife.”  
  
“I can’t…”  
  
“I don’t know how to fix a broken family, I’m sorry, because I’m still useless when it comes to my sister, but… if you want to cry you can cry on me, and if you don’t want to be alone I can hold your hand to reassure you.”  
  
“If I do either of those things, if I cry, if I show my scars, I’ll stop being a detective.”  
  
“Is that so bad?”  
  
“I… I’ll have nothing.”  
  
“That’s okay. Even if you lose something, you can regain it right? No matter what we lose in this game, we have to make it off of this island, so we can see Makoto again together.”

 _I…_ _  
_ _I’m no better am I?_ _  
_ _Ikusaba-san is missing Naegi-kun too, she’s done nothing but own up to her mistakes in the past and try to make up for them. She’s entirely honest and yet._ _  
_ _I took out all of my repressed emotions out on her._ _  
_ _Even though she has nobody to cry too as well._ _  
_ _I’m no better than those two._ _  
_ _I hate it…_ _  
_ _This cursed Kirigiri blood._

Kirigiri slowly, and reluctantly peeled off the glove on one of her hands. She threw it aside and then reached forward and intertwined her fingers with the hand that Mukuro offered her. One hand was completely covered in scars, and the other had a tattoo carved in the back of it.  
  
Kirigiri finally collapsed forward, and buried her face in Mukuro’s shoulder. Mukuro wore a white button up shirt, and a ribbon tied around her neck with wide loops in its bow like rabbit ears. Her shirt quickly became damp, with the years of repressed tears that flowed out all at once.  
  
Even as she cried.  
Kirigiri could not feel the chains lighten around her at all.  
But, there was somebody with her bearing that weight.  
  
Ikusaba said nothing else after that, because she could not think of anything else to say. THere was no neart resolution to the end of the scene. Kirigiri simply continued to clutch on her, she cried, and cried, and cried.  
  
At the back of her mind, she saw a distant memory.

Up, and down.  
Her father was throwing her up and down in the air, and catching her. She was small, otherwise this would have been a much riskier activity.  
  
Then, as they were done waiting to meet that person her father let her down. She was nervous walking on her own, so her father took her hand.  
  
Her father was leading her by the hand to meet her grandfather for the first time. He had glossy silver hair, and appeared young. He lacked wrinkles, and his body was not bent, his back was completely sraight. His eyes had a bright twinkle in them. He was holding his cane his left hand, but it looked more like an accessory, like he was using it as part of a classical detective look he was trying to model himself after.  
  
She clutched her father’s hand nervously, but her grandfather approached her with a cheerful smile on his face.  
  
He reached forward, and patted her on the head.  
  
“I see, Kyoko. You want to be a detective, just like your grandfather then? I’m so proud.”  
  
Ikusaba moved to hold the back of her head, as Kirigiri sobbed once more.  
Kirigiri closed her eyes, recognizing the sensation.  
_I see._ _  
_ _So that’s what it feels like.  
I had almost forgotten. _

 


	34. Smile at Despair in the Name of Laughter (6 - Uselessly x Long x Life)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kumagawa's backstory is kind of sort of a reference to "The Ones Who Walk Away fro Omelas", To Baccano, and to Angra Mainyu in fate that's the pool I was drawin from. I also took some inspiration from the way Accelerator (Index) and Shizuo (Durarara!!) were always getting into fights that they didn't want to get into growing up. Accelerator's a fun character to compare to Kumagawa.  
> There's a Tokyo Ghoul reference this chapter too.

_Hmmm… Is it my turn?_ _  
_ _But… there’s nothing to be gained from the perspective of a neutral observer like me._ _  
_ _My position is the same as the audience’s._ _  
_ _Let’s just return to our erstwhile and troublesome comedy duo._

Ajimu Najii said, as she turned towards the camera and smiled holding up two fingers in a v sign. What camera was she smiling at? There were several around the island for surveillance purposes so probably one of those.  
  
_Huh?_ _  
_ _Why are we not cutting to them?_ _  
_ _Oh, I see you’re going into my memories._ _  
_ _My successor as narrator is sure is a cheeky one._

Ajimu came to meet him, holding the note and laughing to herself as normal. While he stood there stock still, arms at his side, currently swallowing his own heart. “Oh, it’s just you. With the terrible way this note was written, I was scared I was going to get kidnapped or something.”  
  
“Ajimu I… I love you.” Kumagawa said suddenly.

Ajimu merely tilted her head in confusion. “Is that so?” She didn’t give him a yes or no on his confession. Instead, she closed the gap between them and poked at his side. As usual she just wanted to prod at his feelings. “Why do you think that?”

“It’s because… we’re always together, and I don’t want to be apart from you. I feel warm when I’m around you, and my face gets red so…”  
  
“How did an idiot like you figure out that was what being in love was like?”  
  
“Well when the main character in a jump harem series is around one of the girls he likes, his face turns red, and so…”

She laughed again, covering hand with her mouth so as not to seem rude. “Oh, and you’ve probably read lots of stories of childhood friends falling in love, right?”  
  
Kumagawa nodded.  
  
“Well you know, even if real life is sort of like a manga, did you really read all of those manga and think someone like you could stand in the shoes of the main character?”  
  
“What?” His eyes widened as the hope which he had made his confession trickled away. “Why can’t I be a main character?”

“It’s because you always lose. The main character is someone who always has to win, otherwise the world will end, the villain will kill their most precious friends, they won’t get the girl. If you tried to do any of that, you’d just lose again and then shrug it off like you always do.”  
  
Kumagawa shrugged, looking down at his feet. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”  
  
“Face it, nobody would want to read a story where you’re the main character. I’m sorry, your love story just won’t come true.” She reached out and touched him on the shoulder. Kumagawa should have hated her for such a cruel rejection, but all he could think about was how she was right.  
  
He was not a main character. Maybe though, maybe he could prove that he was better.  
  
Kumagawa turned away from her. She leaned into the conversation to catch his eyes. “Come on, let’s walk home.”  
  
The two of them walked together, standing over the same bridge that they always did. Ajimu saw Kumagawa, standing like a shadow on the horizon of a red and orange colored sky. Today he looked especially lonely, though she did not understand why. At his side his hand was dangling.  
  
She though to take it for a second, but hesitated as she reached out. If she took his hand at that moment, it would be like a tacit admission of leaving the seats to step on stage. No matter what she could never do that.  
  
She left that lonely hand alone and let Kumagawa walk ahead, folding her arms behind her head as she observed him, that interesting little fool she had found.

 _It takes me back to the days._ _  
_ _I’d gaze upon the summer sky’s melody of colors._

『 _Let’s turn back please so that this time we don’t take the wrong path._ 』  
_There’s no way I’d ever think that.  
__He's an idiot for thinking so, over and over again.  
_ _I was just afraid, because the hand I should have held,_ _  
_ _I Left it hanging._ _  
_ _There’s no point on dwelling on the past._ _  
_ _As there’s no way to change this sickening story._ _  
_ _Let’s resume with those two._

 

 ♛

 

Enoshima Junko and Kumagawa Misogi sat together in the final dead room. The two of them were sitting on the old bed, on a military issue looking bedframe. The moment Kumagawa had sat down on the edge of the mattress, Enoshima Junko asked.  
  
“Hey, Misogi. Would you mind if I sat next to you?”  
  
『Next to me?』  
  
“I’d like to talk to you.”

『Sure. I was just feeling a little guilty about monopolizing this bed.』  
  
“Someone like you is capable of feeling guilt? Surprising. I’ll help myself, then.” She sat down immediately next to him, close enough that their hips were touching, and she carelessly knocked the side of her knees against his as she crossed her legs to get comfortable.  
  
Before this, after recovering herself Enoshima Junko had paced around thinking for an amount of time that passed that Kumagawa Misogi could not keep track of. Besides the smeared makep around her eyes there was almost no evidence that she had ever experienced an emotion in her life, Junko was that good at recomposing herself when she needed to. The rest of the time, she had been thinking as if re-evaluating a math problem. That was the closest way to describe Enoshima Junko’s thought processes anyway, algorithmic.

『Well, if you want to talk you should just say it. Whatever it is, I’ll listen even if it’s unpleasant. Knowing you, there’s a 99% chance it’d be unpleasant. Actually, I prefer it to be unpleasant, you only say pleasant things when something terrible is about to happen.』

“Haha, funny joke Misogi. As if people can just say what they’re feeling directly with words.”

『That is generally what words are used for, yes.』  
  
“Sounds like the height of absurdist comedy. If people were able to say directly what they felt without the need of any elaborate machinations, then this story would be a lot shorter.”

『It’s always been pretty easy for me to say how I feel.』  
  
“Well, that’s because your emotions are so stupid even a fool like you could convey them.”

『Hmmm, for a girl with communication issues she doesn’t seem to have any problems insulting me.』  
  
“Who are you talking to?”

『The audience obviously, since nobody in this room is going to sympathize with me I have to look elsewhere.』  
  
“Nobody in the audience is going to sympathize with you either. Looks like you’re stuck with just me. Upupupu, it’s like I’m your punishment.”

『What a pleasant punishment that would be, living side by side with you. If that’s the case thne I hope the rest of my life is a punishment.』

“Quit flirting when I’m trying to insult you.”

『Hmmm? But isn’t your method of flirting insulting people? That’s why you’re the tsundere archetype.』

“Well, if you’ve figured me out then I need to change things up. I can’t have you deluding yourself into thinking you understand me. From now on, I’ll be a yandere…”

『How is that any different from how you normally act?』  
  
“Jeez Misogi, you’re not supposed to be calling me out like this. I’m supposed to be calling you out, and everybody else. It’s like you’ve forgotten our roles.”

『Hmmm, now what I see what you mean when you say it’s difficult to talk about things. It seems we’ve gotten off track. We were talking about our feelings, so I’ll just say how we feel. Maybe we should not solve the rest of this puzzle.』  
  
“What do you mean?”

『This is called the final dead room, right? What if all that’s waiting for us at the finale of this room is death?』  
  
“Whoa, what an artistic statement you’ve just made. Death really is the ultimate finale, huh?”

『I wasn’t trying to be artistic.』

“Well of course, there’s no way somebody like you would say something beautiful on purpose." 

『Hey...』

  
“But think about it, death really is the ultimate final statement to life.”

『Enough with your macabre fascination...』  
  
“You should be grateful for my Macabre fascination, it’s the only reason I’m interested in you.”

『Really, it has nothing to do with my cute face?』  
  
“Nope.”

『Anyway, death isn’t beautiful at all.』  
  
“What are you talking about? Think about it this way, two lovers commit suicide and fall together in the river. They can’t be together in life, so in death they remain forever in each other’s embrace.”

『There’s nothing beautiful about that at all. I mean if they were in the water then after a few days their bodies would start swelling up, and fish would nibble at them so their faces would probably be unrecognizable.』

“Wait… are you saying my corpse might be ugly? Ugh, I didn’t even think of that how horrifying.”

『Even if living is ugly, I'd prefer to live. Yeah, that’s why we shouldn’t solve the puzzle to get ahead. What if all that’s waiting for us at the end of the puzzle room is just an axe murderer that we’re stuck in here with. That sounds like the lame kind of trick Monokuma-chan would pull.』  
  
“Monokuma -senseiwould never be lame. He’s way too marketable and beloved for that. If he ever seems lame, he’s probably just doing it on purpose for the sake of irony.”

『That seems like a very convenient excuse...』  
  
“At least he has an excuse… there’s no excusing your existence, Misogi.”

『Hey!』  
  
“I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I mean, no matter what I do you never seem to leave, like you’re going to keep existing by my side forever, like I’m alone with you, so it seems like I have to come to terms with how I feel about that.” Just as their conversation seemed to drift, their bodies drifted naturally as well. Without even realizing it, Junko had leaned closer and closer to him over the course of their conversation. It was Kumagawa’s natural instinct to move back from others, an equal amount as they drew towards him. Enoshima would not let him though, she wrapped an arm around his side catching his other hand in the claws of hers as if to keep him there. When he straightened up he saw their faces were centimeters away.

Kumagawa’s eyes fluttered girlishly, as he leaned in close to her in anticipation. By this point she was leaning over him almost entirely. 『What… do you have to come to terms with?.』  
  
“I have to come to terms with the fact that we've been trapped inside of a bottle episode to force us to go through, ugh, character development. ”

『Bottle episode?』  
  
“Yes, Misogi a bottle episode when the producers of this tv show ahem, I mean killing game traps the class in one location, just like putting them in a bottle.”

『So we’re trapped in a bottle?』

“What, no it’s a simile!”  
  
『Then they should call it a coffin episode, a coffin is big enough to fit two people. I thought we were all metaphorically trapped in coffins, or cages, not bottles... that doesn't sound as cool. 』  
  
“Have you ever heard of a simile you idiot?”

『Isn't it a metaphor?』  
  
"Do you know what a metaphor is?"

『I've meta-forgotten it already!』  
  
"How did I walk straight into that predictable and boring setup?" 

『So… would your original killing game in the old school building be a bottle killing game?』  
  
“No… yes, a bottle episode can take place entirely in one school building.”

『Yeah, so that’s what I’m saying this should be called a funhouse episode, or maybe a circus tent episode if you want to go with the clown motif. What if… we were shrunk down… and trapped in a bottle would that be a bottle episode?』  
  
“Yeah, I mean technically.”  
  
『Is that what Monokuma-chan’s plan was all along? The secret twist is that we were shrunk down and forced into a bottle for this bottle killing game?』  
  
“That’s the wrong dumb twist! The dumb twist this time around is that we’re all trapped in a virtual world!”  
  
『What if… this funhouse was in a bottle?』  
  
Junko stomped her boot hard against the ground. She was a genius when it came to getting under the skin of others, but somehow there was nobody better qualified at getting under her skin than Kumagawa Misogi. Ever since they had first met, he was the only one, the only one this uniquely good at annoying her. “I hope the motive this time is that the mastermind shows up as an axe murderer in a luchador mask and tries to kill us!”  
  
However, Kumagawa seemed oblivious to her reaction simply staring at her with his water like eyes, unfettered by anything refusing to even ripple.『If that happened would that be a twist on the bottle episode? Would we be playing spin the bottle?』  
  
“Uuuuuuuuuuugh!” Enoshima Junko stood up suddenly and walked over to where the revolver ha landed after its earlier explosion. She stomped with every step just to let Misogi know how annoyed she was right now. She flicked the gun with her wrist, causing the barrel to come out once more. She spun through it slowly.  
  
『Ah! Junko, wait. I know being stuck in a room with the hated and despised me must be terrible, but that’s no reason to kill yourself.』  
  
“I’m not killing myself, I’m shattering the glass of the bottle so we can get out of here.”  
  
『Wait, so there is a bottle?』  
  
“It’s a simile!”

『Actually, that time it was a metaphor because you didn’t use the word like or as.』  
  
“Wait, so you do know what a simile and a metaphor is!?” She finished clearing the chamber from the damage Misogi’s explosion had done. She walked over to the case Monokuma provided them and plucked a bullet out with her red finger nails.  
  
『J-junko...』  
  
Junko could hear Misogi’s voice, it was trembling. Kumagawa was like water, absolutely nothing seemed to move him. A clear, stretch of water, silent and still, stretching infinitely into the horizon. No matter how much she threw into that water, it would barely even ripple. She could not break the surface. Yet, the moment she came into any harm at all, that water rippled just for her, it moved just for her.  
  
Junko wanted to enjoy that fact, that Kumagawa’s misery was tied so inexorably to her. It was like a wonderfully twisted knot had tied them together, that had grown so complicated it was impossible to untie. At the moment though, she was too annoyed to properly enjoy that fact.  
  
“You’re such a coward. There’s no way I’d die here anyway, the universe is designed to work in my favor after all.”  
  
『That’s exactly the kind of statement one would make before dying an ironic death by shooting themselves in the head unexpectedly.』  
  
“Didn’t I tell you, Misogi? Irony, and consequences, those literary tropes only apply to everybody else, not me.”

『J...Junko… Don’t die.』  
  
“There’s no way I’d die in such a boring way.” Enoshima Junko said, as she finished loading the fifth bullet in and then spun the barrel. Unlike Misogi, who acted like an idiot and just loaded every single bullet in guaranteeing his failure, or perhaps somebody like Komaeda who would leave it all up to chance Junko was not doing either.  
  
She was listening carefully. When the spinning stopped, there was a distinct noise it made. The sound of a bullet, and the sound of it landing on an empty barrel were two different sounds that her Ultimate Analysis could pick up on. When it stopped the first time, she did not pull the trigger. She spun the barrel two more times, before finally hearing the click she wanted. Then, she pulled the trigger and nothing happened.  
  
“How lame, once again I’ve won.”

『You could at least appreciate your victory a little more.』  
  
“Why would I appreciate anything?”

『Oh, Junko I think we just figured out one of your central character flaws as an unappreciative, ungrateful spoiled brat. You can finally have that much needed character development.』

  
“Shut up, you!” She said as she grabbed him by his hand dragging him off the bed. The two of them proceeded through the door with a gun emblem on it.

 

 ♛

 

 _Cutting back to me?_ _  
_ _What’s the purpose in this?_ _  
_ _Are you attempting to build some kind of narrative parallel._ _  
_ _That only works if I’m a character in this narrative, but I’m an outsider._ _  
  
_

Ajimu Najimi sighed.

Whether she liked it or not, though right in front of her the film would always continue to roll and she could do nothing but observe it.  
  
This time, she saw a soccer net flying through the air and a cloud of dust just behind it. It was a superhuman scene, the kind that would only be seen in the pages of shonen manga. At that point one might not even blame her for deluding herself into believing that her life was just nothing more than a shonen manga.  
  
Standing in the center of that explosion of power, Kurokami Medaka was holding a fist in the air to finish the swing of her punch. All of the boys that had been sent to attack her were on the ground around her, and the soccer net she had used to fend them off fell into the background.  
  
Watching such a cool looking fight scene, were two eager observers. Kumagawa Misogi who sat leaning against the back wall with his legs perched against him, applauding and Ajimu Najimi who stood up straight and proper watching silently.

 _And there she was._ _  
_ _From the second I saw her._ _  
_ _I knew how Kumagawa would react to her._

 _But I introduced them anyway._  
  
Kurokami Medaka turned around, and at that moment Kumagawa MIsogi stopped applauding. Ajimu Najimi gestured towards him, like she was trying to introduce an old friend. “Meet Kumagawa Misogi, we’ve known each other since the first year of Junior High. He’s your sernior now technically. He’s a pretty good guy. To be honest, he’s not really good at all. He’s entirely lacking in redeemable qualities.”

Kumagawa simply closed his eyes and smiled catlike, his fingers curling up as if to hide his claws. 『That isn’t nice… Ajimu-san.』  
  
“No, no, I meant that in a good way.”  
  
Kurokami Medaka who loved all human beings equally, suddenly was filled with a first time feeling. Hatred. Kumagawa tended to draw those feelings out of others just on sight, it was a lovely quality of his.  
  
“You piss me off.”

『Oh, yeah?』 Kumagawa opened his eyes peering through half lidded eyes like a snake. He leaned back casually.『Too bad, I was hoping we could have some real fun together..』  
  
“Shut up.” Kurokai said, standing proud with her hands on her hips.

『Now, why you gotta be like that, Medaka-chan.』  
  
Calling her by her first name seemed to work, and she suddenly turned around staring at him, growling through gritted teeth. She was met with the sight of Kumagawa’s smirk. Without thinking that girl rushed forward to wipe the smirk off his face with her fist.  
  
Her punch was strong enough that it crurhsed the small stage that Kumagawa had been leaning against. However, Kumagawa dodged out of the way, slickly like the wind by jumping at last minute. She saw his body move past hers as momentum carried her forward. Just then, she dragged her heel hard and turned around, looking confused as to where he had disappeared to, but Kumagawa moved so quickly, he might as well have been a shadow.  
  
Suddenly he was behind her, a screw in his hand dragged across her chest. Blood flew through the air as he managed to cut her shirt open just a little bit. Kumagawa flicked his wrist, brandishing the screw in his hand like it was a knife. 『See? Isn’t this a blast?』  
  
Kurokami Medaka sat their, clutching onto the wound in her chest. She had been fighting all her life it seemed, but nobody once was able to wound her like that.  
  
In the background, a clown was laughing at the both of them, in the background, Ajimu Najimi was smiling.  
  
_That was it._ _  
_ _Those two have been trying to kill each other from the very first day they met._ _  
_ _There was no good reason._ _  
_ _They just didn’t like each other._ _  
_ _I knew it would happen if I introduced them._ _  
_ _It was a little bit annoying to deal with those two always fighting._ _  
_ _If one of them killed each other though, I doubt I would have cared._ _  
_ _Or regretted introducing them._ _  
_ _Why did I do it then?_ _  
_ _Simply put, it was more fun that way._ _  
_ _Generally, human beings interact with each other, the more fun they become._ _  
_ _At least that’s what I’ve learned observing them._ _  
_ _You can call it a ‘theme’ if you want._ _  
_ _Of course the same doesn’t apply to a non-human like me._ _  
_ _No matter who I interact with I won’t change._ _  
_ _Kumagawa-kun’s the most volatile element of all, he seems to change with every reaction._ _  
_ _But I’m a noble gas, perfect in structure, having everything I need, self sufficient, unable to react._ _  
_ _That’s why observing an observer is so dull._ _  
_ _You should return to watching those two react together in a bottle._ _  
_ _That’s chemistry, right?_

 _  
_  
 ♛

 

“So, this is the Octagon, huh? Then, the entire building is shaped like an octagon, just like I thought… Duh.”  
  
Enoshima Junko said as she took a step forward into the final room.  
  
『An octagon, huh?』  
  
“Yes, an Octagon.”

『An Octagon, indeed.』  
  
“Quit trying to sound smart.”

『If I recall… an octagon is a shape with eight sides, right?』  
  
“See Misogi, I told you to stop trying to sound smart it doesn’t suit you. What kind of idiot wouldn’t know that an octagon has eight sides?”  
  
Somewhere else, Hajime Hinata sneezed. And wondered if he was somehow getting a cold on a tropical beach. 

『Hey, look. It’s the axe that the axe murderer is going to use to kill us.』 Kumagawa said, as he pointed to one of the axes on the ground, changing the subject. The room they had stepped into, had grid like plates bolted the wall and was a bare bones room with several different wooden shelves, and wooden boxes all containing weapons. There was one small window in the corner. The entire room itself was also shaped like it was wrapping around an octagon shaped building.  
  
Monokuma suddenly appeared in front of them, rubbing his belly and blushing on one side of his cute plush face in pride. “Congratulations, Junko!”

『Don’t I get a congratulations?』  
  
“Even I’m not a twisted enough existence to think there’s any part of you that’s worth congratulating.”

『Oh, that’s fair I guess.』  
  
“Eeee, Monokuma-sensei is here!” Junko said squeeing like a fangirl as she brought her hands up to her cheeks. She completely forgot about Kumagawa leaving him behind, spurned.  
  
“Congratulations on clearing the Final Dead Room. And you… even challenged yourself at the highest difficuly with only a one-sixth chance of success…”

『Hey, I challenged myself with a zero sixth chance of success.』  
  
“Even if you only put one bullet in, it would have been a zero sixth chance of success because your entire life is a zero.” The bear quickly spat at him.

『Oh, that’s fair I guess..』  
  
“I have a modest present for someone like you!”

『If it’s modest, then it doesn’t suit either of you.』

  
“Hey!”  
“Hey!”

Both Enoshima Junko and the bear snapped at Kumagawa at the same time. Then, they both preceded to ignore him like he was an extra bit part in this scene and Monokuma handed her eager hands a file.  
  
“Is this… the Future Foundation’s file? Ugh, didn’t we already see this when we were at the roller coaster? I hate repettition bored now.”  
  
“Hating repettition, you’re telling me…” Monokuma grumbled, before waving a single claw at her. “Well, just think of it as an extension of that.”

『What kind of scenario is it this time, I wonder?』 Kumagawa said thoughtfully behind him, but since neither of them cared about his thoughts his commentary went unheard.  
  
“Let’s see, and one more special prize… Here ya go!”

“The hope’s peak academy crest…?”  
  
“And this, it contains your student profiles from your time at Hope’s Peak Academy.”  
  
“Eh… but my memories of school aren’t missing at all? Why would I care about looking at one whole year of boring?”  
  
“You mean you don’t have any precious school memories? Well, it’s a good thing I didn’t bother stealing them, then. I’m so kind, leaving your memories definitely in tact. What you remember is the truth, definitely, definitely, unaltered.”  
  
『To think, a no-good person like me actually spent time with everybody else at Hope’s Peak Academy…? It’s so far away I’m starting to forget how I felt. Surely… I would’ve spent my time feeling ashamed of myself for being in the presence of such greatness.』  
  
“Aren’t you ashamed of yourself for standing in my presence now?”  
“Aren’t you ashamed of yourself for standing in my presence now?”  
  
Junko quickly looked over to Monokuma. “Listen, we need to actually go over our material sometime so we stop overlapping like this… It’ll be fun, I can look over your scripts and consult with you for-”  
  
“What makes you think I’d need your opinions? You’re just one of my students after all, not the mastermind. Don’t forget about your place, Enoshima.”  
  
As he said that, Enoshima Junko’s teeth clicked in annoyance. This time she was one of the characters, not the central antagonist.  
  
Monokuma looked back to Kumagawa. “And you, can you stop being such a buzzkill? This series is known for it’s ridiculous tone and absurdist humor we’re not supposed to take things so seriously. Jeez… after all this time, Whether you’re upbeat or depressed, I still don’t understand you at all!” The bear quickly put his hands on his stomach and let out a sigh. “Oh well, whatever. I’m passing this onto you, I trust you’ll decide to use it in a fun way.”  The bear put a paw to mouth, barely suppressing giggles. “Upupupupu…” As he glanced back at Kumagawa.

『What are you laughing about?』  
  
“Well, I just thought it was ironic. Out of everyone here, someone like you was the one who obtained Hope’s Peak Academy’s student profiles. I’m not sure if you’re lucky or unlucky.”

『What… does that mean? Obviously, I’m unlucky.』  
  
“You might not be as different from Nagito as you think… it just depends on how you both define the improbable things that happen to you. I wonder was meeting Enoshima Junko-chan good luck or bad luck, since you’re foils I bet both of you would answer the question differently.”

『Ugh, this is as exhausting as talking with Ajimu-san. Just for once can I talk with somebody who doesn’t talk exclusively in theme?』  
  
Monokuma spoke over his complaints, ignoring him again. “Well, it looks like things are going to get interesting. You might be the one who makes things much more interesting! This time, this time, this time, this time, be sure to make things interesting okay?”

With that the bear disappeared, and in the hollow hallway the two of them stood in the last trace he heard of that bear was it’s distinct echoes of it’s laughter, continuing to echo an reverberate, from the emptiness in the hallway, to the emptiness inside of him. The laughter that sounded just like the unique laughter of the person that Kumagawa loved the most.  
  
That person had put the two files on the floor, and knelt down on the floor to read them. She poured over them, slowly and carefully. She had caught the strange hints that Monokuma had been giving. To suggest that her memories were not erased, but rather altered and changed in some way. Junko had not even known that technology existed. She had only ever used Matsuda’s technique to erase memories, not implant false memories.  
  
Her red pointed nails slid between pages, and she read the whole file taking in the information and processing it quickly as she always did. It was an after action report for the first killing game that took place in the old school building.  
  
_The students fought back and were able to apprehend the mastermind._ _  
_ _However, the students did not actually kill their captor with their own hands, rather her death was ruled a suicide._ _  
_ _After the fact, her body was recovered._ _  
_ _When the body was found, her hand and right eye had already been taken away._ _  
_ _By some miracle despite all the trauma which had been done to her body her brain was still intact._ _  
_ _Thus, those of us at the Future Foundation decided to undergo a risky endeavor._ _  
_ _To use the neo-world program to study the brain of a girl brilliant enough to bring the world to it’s knees, in order to never have that event happen again._ _  
_ _To convert Ultimate Despair, to hope._ _  
_ _The idea was to implant false memories within the consciousness, if such a talent could be harvested it would create a being that could only be called ‘The Ultimate Hope’_ _  
_ _However, such dealing with a mind we barely understand will bring unprecedented risks._ _  
_ _Therefore to monitor for danger, we are sending in our own operatives into the program._ _  
_ _Several high ranking members of the Future Foundation sponsored by the remnants of the Kurokami Conglomerate._ _  
_ _And a survivor from the first killing game who knows the psychological profile of Enoshima Junko better than anyone else._ _  
_ _In addition, there will be a pair of brother and sister AIs, overseeing the proceedings._ _  
_ _KumagawAI._ _  
_ _And AIjimu._ _  
_ _Within the false memories, these two people will become absolutely vital to the change in scenario we’re presenting._ _  
_ _And as long as those two remain in the program, they will have manga like powers that could not possibly exist in reality. These powers should allow them to keep the subject contained if anything were to go wrong._ _  
_ _KumagawAI will be given the power to delete anything that happens in the program, or the scenario that he does not like therefore making it as if it never happened. We call this power to rewrite the false scenario at will, all fiction._ _  
_ _And AIjimu the opposite power, she will be capable of doing anything she likes within the program, like a character with every single ability._

 _These two will become inexorably tied to the subject’s false memories, and through interaction with them a change in her might be achievable._ _  
_ _This project has been signed off on, by Munakata Kyosuke, and Matsuda Fukuro_

Enoshima Junko’s eyes widened slightly, her head tilted more to one side. “What… what kind of lame twist is this?” She muttered. She tried to reach for the other file and paged through it. It was student profiles of their time at Hope’s Peak academy, but she could only find profiles for Komaeda, Pekoyama, Ikusaba, Tsumiki, Tanaka, Nanami and herself. There was even a profile for Hinata Hajime as a reserve course student of no particular note, or noteworthy merit. Yet, there was no trace of evidence that the likes of Kumagawa, Kurokami, or Hitoyoshi had ever been to Hope’s Peak. Suddenly, the file dropped ot of her hands. She wondered since when had she become a clumsy moe type character, and looked at her same hands. They were shaking, they had begin to shake without her even realizing it.  
  
Kumagawa was a liar, but was his existence itself a lie? All the times they had fought in the past, the times they hurt each other, the times they made up in a lukewarm and half baked way, the long rambling conversations they shared together, all of those moments. Was Happiness with Kumagawa a lie? Was Misery with Kumagawa a lie? Did all of that never exist in the first place? Was it all fiction?  
  
She was feeling something, but such was the nebulous nature of Enoshima Junko, her lack of self awareness and her distance from her own emotions that she did not even realize what she was feeling for a moment. She had to think about it, take a breath and analyze herself the same way she did everything else. This mixed emotion, a tepid sticky, disgusting feeling that seemed to slowly constrict her chest, it was not the fire that she felt when she usually forced her emotions to a boiling point in order to feel something. It was like cool water had poured into her, and had gotten stuck, and could now only uselessly slosh around in her hollow self.

Oh, she was scared. So this is what that felt like. For the first time ever, she was scared of losing someone. If she lost him that way, if he were to just fade out of existence like he never mattered to her in the first place that would be boring. That would be the opposite of the explosive end to their relationship she had spent all this time cultivating. She did not want him to disappear, now that he had become so close to her… if he did not exist in her memories, if he was not really there then those memories would be even more empty for lack of him.  
  
When she looked up and saw him swinging around a bat that Monokuma had left him, only to hit himself in the head on accident, or perhaps on purpose in an attempt at low brow slap stick style humor Enoshima Junko giggled underneath her breath. There was something oddly comforting about looking at him in that moment as her heart seized up.   
  
The logical part of her brain told her however, Misogi showing up at the last minute and averting an apocapalypse really was too unrealistic. That somebody like him existed just as twisted as her, was too good to be true. Her life had been stuck in one genre before that moment, and afterwards it was filled with nothing but constant change. The life she had always thought she had complete control of, like a pre-scripted scenario continued to surprise her, all because MIsogi appeared in that moment. Yet, she wondered if that moment of meeting him was too, just another act. That one real thing she had finally managed to find, this genuine feeling, might itself have been artifice, a part of the script.   
  
If somebody had changed her memories, that would mean they were taking away that moment of Misogi from her. If it never existed, she could not despair properly over losing it. Fading away, that kind of 'it's all a dream all along' twist that ruins audience enjoyment and investment in what they were watching, that was not proper despair. it was like killing off a main character, and then claiming it was all just a dream later and bringing the main character back to life, it would ruin the original despair and attachment to that character in the first place.   
  
A life like that, where every day felt so fresh like dying and being reborn again. That was too good to be true.   
  
No, it was not just that.   
She was possessive after all.  
Those memories with Misogi were precious to her, they were hers, she wanted to be the one to decide when they were thrown away, when she would defile them.   
She wanted to dig her claws into his heart so deeply, that she would never be able to let him go.  
And, then at that moment she wanted to lose him.   
She wanted to feel both things. To feel both extremes at once.  
_To live with, and then without him._  
She...  
She actually wanted it to be real.   
But, admitting she wanted it to be real was a desire she had never experienced.   
She went back and forth trying to process this twist in her head, and it felt roughly like in star trek when somebody asked the super computer a logical paradox question and the computer thought about it until it exploded.   
  
The tension wavered back and forth within her as she observed Misogi, laughing happily like a fool without a care in the world.  
  
She wanted to laugh with him too, she realized.  
She wanted to laugh for real.  

 

 ♛

 

 _Stop peering into my memories it’s annoying._ _  
_ _For a narrator you are a greedy one, making me step on stage like this._ _  
_ _There’s no point in me acting like somebody who has a shot at being a protagonist._ _  
_ _A human can’t sympathize with a non-human._ _  
_ _  
_ It was after school, he air was wet and heavy with the humidity of summer. She stared up at the sky pausing in the middle of a bridge, remembering that she had been alive long enough to see the formation of that impossibly old thing.  
  
Then, she heard unsubtle footsteps behind her, and the sound of mouth breathing. “Kumagawa-kun.” She said, apparently even when she left ahead of time to walk home separate from him he followed her home.

『So this is where you were? Don’t tell me, you were trying to ditch me for good this time? I guess that’s understandable, considering how awful I am..』  
  
The girl shook her head, her long brown hair swaying back and forth in the breeze as she did so. It was a hot day so Kumagawa was only wearing shorts, with the black school uniform that he was always wearing because those uniforms were the only clothing he owned. The two of them stood on the bridge together, the same bridge they always walked on to get home.

  
『...Then what?』  
  
“I was overjoyed. When we decided to go to middle school together, our days became quite busy. Everybody at school looks up to me, it’s because of me they get along, it’s almost like a real family… everyone is getting along right now, I’m sure eventually even you and Medaka-chan will work things out but…” As she paused, she saw Kumagawa’s gaze freeze ice cold as if he knew what she was going to say next and wished to freeze everything so he would not have to hear it. “We’re only playing house.”

She was sitting amongst a chest of well crafted toys. They were little dolls, each with unique features to them. Even though she was not one of them, she had an eye to appreciate how precious each one was. She wanted to play with them forever, but she more than anyone else knew the passage of time. Even her favorite toy, the one of the boy with the all black uniform, and the beautiful smile, even if she held that toy close to her chest, eventually the stuffing would be ripped out, his seams would come apart, she saw that dolls head and arms sagging as cotton stuffing fell out of it.  
  
“You know Kumagawa-kun, I’m so strong I should be the one protecting the weak, miserable, helpless you, but you’re always protecting me. You’re always the one trying to make me smile, while you’re alone in your misery.”

『...I’ not sure what to say. You should know better than to ask these deep philosophical questions of an idiot like me. I’ve never thought about it, why you came to find me on that day, but…I don’t think I’m alone, and I don’t think it’s a bad thing.  It’ll be alright. I won’t let you be alone.』He reached forward and took her hands. Her pale, cold, lifeless, inhuman hands and embraced them. 『You promised, didn’t you? Even if one of us were to disappear, we’ll still exist in each other forever. So, don’t worry about that stuff and have fun.』

_“You know Kumagawa-kun, since you’re a first class loser and you lack self awareness I’ll tell you. It doesn’t matter if my face changes, it doesn’t matter if I disappear, it doesn’t even matter if you hate me, because of the time we spent together right now I’ll always be in your heart.”_

_“You won’t become nothing?”_

_“The me in your heart, is the first and only thing you can’t make nothing.”_

_“That’s great, then I’m looking forward to growing up together.”_

_“That’s not what I was talking about… why are you so eager anyway? You have to know by now, only more loss, more pain, and more suffering await you in your future.” That was no way for a human to talk to a child, but Ajimu Najimi was not a human._

_“Yeah but… even so… I know it’ll be lots of fun.” He pulled out what he was hiding behind his back, and held out a popsicle with two sticks meant to be broken in half to her. “I just know it will.”_

_“Mmmm…. When the time comes I’ll think about it.”_

_“Promise?”_

_In response, she reached out to the other stick of the popsicle and broke it in half. Though she was not a human being she had knowledge of almost every society including this one. She also knew that childhood friends, unlike in manga, seldom became couples in real life. Promises like this too were almost impossible to keep in reality. Yet, still she took a bite out of the popsicle he offered. “I promise.”_

Just as they were talking, by chance they saw Kuokami Medaka and Hitoyoshi Zenkichi walking home as well.

Kurokami Medaka suddenly stopped, running to the end of the bridge. “Hey, what are you two doing alone together?”

『Don’t tell me you’re going to pick another fight, Medaka-chan 』  
  
Ajimu Najimi had made friends with both Hitoyoshi Zenkichi, and Kurokami Medaka despite the fact that both of the were enemies of Kumagawa. She was tha good at navigating others, and mending the frayed strings between them. If she really wanted, she could probably manipulate things in a way that those two would get along, but it was more fun like this for now.  
  
“It’s fine, it’s fine, Medaka-chan. I’ve known Kumagawa-kun for awhile. For the longest time it was just the two of us, so walking home like this together isn’t a big deal.”  
  
Zenkichi finally caught up, and Medaka looked wary for a moment. “If you’re having troubles, or anything you can come talk to me! I’ll be there for you.” She politely bowed her head as she made that oath.  
  
『It really would be better if you would just not, and then you went and died in a hole somewhere.  
  
Kurokami Medaka laughed. “Ahaha- you think? You bloodsucking flea? Zenkichi, hey Zenkichi let me go!”  
  
She was stopped by Hitoyoshi Zenkichi grabbing onto her arm. He dragged her away before she could provoke any more of a fight.

『It’s strange. The casual way they address each other, and how she lets him tug her around like that. Those two are just middle schoolers but they act like an old married couple, is that really all right?』  
  
“Kumagawa-kun…” Her red eyes narrowed at him. “Why are you glaring so intensely at her anyway? Are you a pervert or something?”

『There’s no way! Hey… Ajimu-san how come we don’t call each other by our first names? Even though we’re like that too.』  
  
“I know… You should give me a nickname as well.. Perhaps, that way we could be more like them…”  
  
She could see it reflecting in Kumagawa’s eyes.  
For the first time, he who had nothing was beginning to desire.  
He wanted somebody like Hitoyoshi Zenkichi was to Kurokami Medaka, somebody who would follow him and stay by his side no matter how troublesome his life’s path became.  
That boy’s eyes said.  
_I don’t need to be a main character, I just need you by my side._ _  
_ _Even if it’s just sitting in the audience as a boring nobody, I would be happy!_

 _When I should have taken his hand, I didn’t take it._ _  
_ _When I should have slapped his hand away, I let him take my hand._ _  
_ _At the time._ _  
_ _The friends and thoughts we had together._ _  
_ _I didn’t want to end it at just that._ _  
_ _I didn’t want the feelings left behind to be erased, to become nothing._ _  
_ _But happiness only exists in theory in this sickening story._

 

 ♛

 

Enoshima Junko, sat taking practice swings with the bat she had picked up from the storage room. Her form was absolutely perfect, as she had observed Leon Kuawata the Ultimate Baseball Player practicing his swings as well and just copied that. She took one more swing, her skirt ruffling as she turned her hips to do so.  
  
In the background, Kumagawa Misogi was carrying out the rest of the boxes from the Final Dead Room. He did not know what to do with them, and he was naturally a messy person, and a mess in general so he just dropped them on the floor.

“Leg’s spread same width as the shoulders, body tight, and then hit the ball as if you’re defeating the enemy. Here, the pinky finger is the key, and then you just hit, hit, hit, Kaaaakin! Bingo!”

『What are you talking about? Junko, if you want the unexpected, never before seen to happen, then why don’t you actually carry your weight for once and do something?』  
  
“I am doing something.” She said, stopping and posing with the bat, holding one hand on her hip. “I’m standing here and looking pretty, to give you motivation. I’m a model you know, I’m using my talent to inspire you. I’m sure Komaeda would appreciate me.”

『Allow me to correct myself, you should do something that actually matters. Talent doesn’t matter. Where do you get that importance anyway, assuming you inspire everybody just by existing? Only a main character can do that.』  
  
“A main character…” Enoshima Junko stopped for a moment, putting a  pointed red fingernail on her lip. “Hmmm, we never settled that matter with Ajimu did we. Did we ever decide who the main character was? What if… in a twist it turns out to be me.”

『There’s no way you could ever be the main character.』  
  
“Why not? I’m the most popular one here by a long shot! Have you seen how marketable this face is?” She said as she highlighted her profile with her fingers.

『The main character has to be somebody the audience can sympathize with. Nobody would sympathize with the motivations of a spoiled rotten girl like you.』  
  
“What about you? You sympathize with me don’t you?”

『Yes, but I am Nobody.』  
  
“Why are you saying that suddenly, I don’t see any cyclops around.”

『I mean I’m a nobody. I’m the exception that proves the rule. If I sympathize with you that means no one else can. Besides, somebody like me is way more suited to being the main character. I’ve had every tragic backstory happen to me at once basically, how can somebody not sympathize with me?』  
  
“But, nobody likes you. Who wants a main character that nobody likes?”

『What about you? You like me don’t you?』  
  
“Yes, but I’m the exception that proves the rule. If I like you, that means nobody else is allowed to like you. The main character is somebody who sits around while everybody else does the work for them, out of pure love for the main character right? I’ll just become something like that, and you can be my main love interest.”

『What kind of harem scenario is this? I don’t want to become a love interest. The love interest never gets a plot of their own, they’re just useless!』  
  
“See, it’s perfect for you!” Junko got bored of swinging with the bat, and threw it aside causing it to roll away on the floor. She picked up an axe instead. “Hey, Misogi I’m bored what if I chase you around with this for awhile?”

『The audience needs an emotional connection to the main character, there’s no way  the audience could connect to a sociopath like you.』  
  
“Oi, where do you get off calling me a sociopath?” Junko said, as she swung the axe in the air.

Kumagawa easily dodged out of the way. 『Hmm? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you’re swinging an axe with me.』  
  
“That’s circumstantial evidence…” Junko said as she tossed the axe to the side. “Circumstances change quickly you know, especially when you get as bored as easily as me.”

『Junko… somebody’s going to have to pick that up...』  
  
“If I were a sociopath, I’d feel even less than I do right now so there’s no way I could be a sociopath.”

『What do you want the I’m not as much of a sociopath as I could have been award?』  
  
“No, just tell me I’m a main character.”

『There’s no way you could be a main character, you haven’t changed at all since we met after all. Where’s your development.』

“Maybe I can be one of those main characters that doesn’t change, but the audience loves me so much they think I’ve changed anyway and delude themselves into thinking I have a wonderful arc. Hey, hey, hey, what were we talking about again? Oh, there’s something I wanted to ask you earlier.” She said as she walked over to the park equipment. They were in the play area set up for the strawberry room, they easily traveled there through the final dead room. They had been in the middle of taking inventory of everything that was available to them in that room, but Junko got bored of that.

She stepped up on the tires that were on the ground, holding her arms out for balance as she walked on her heels. “Oh, right. I wanted to do something for you.”

『You wanted to do something?』  
  
“Yes, but only one thing. Two things is too many.”

『Forget analysis, you’re super high school levels of lazy.』  
  
She was happy to have met him. Her life was so much more interesting when he was around. She did not want him to disappear, she wanted to be sure he was real, but she could express none of these emotions.

“With that said, Misogi, isn’t there something you’d like for me to do for you? Pick just one thing and I’ll do anything you say.” Junko was now sitting atop a roundabout shaped like a red cage, as Kumagawa spun her around running in circles.

『A-anything?』  
  
“I’m serious, it can be anything. No matter what it is, I’ll grant you just one wish. Whether it’s destroying the world, or eternal life, or even if you want me to defeat the Saiyan about to arrive on earth.”

『Are you telling me that you have more power than Shenron?』  
  
“Of course I do.”

『She actually affirmed it. Is it possible for someone to think so highly of themselves?』  
  
She jumped down from the roundabout. There was a set of climbing bars, Junko held onto one and spun around it lazily while Kumagawa struggled trying to climb to the top of the bars. He did not make it very far. “This will be my only good deed, when I go to hell I just want one spider's thread to reach down for me so it can snap and I can fall further into despair. So, ask for something personal, something you would only ask for Misogi that way it will be interesting.”

『I guess it would be more like you to have such twisted logic』  
  
As Kumagawa gave up and fell from the climbing bar, the two of them move to the see-saw instead. As she bobbed up and down Junko continued the conversation. “Seriously, it can be anything. Like wanting me to wear bear ears and talk in my Monokuma voice for a week.”  
  
『Are you a furry after all? You're the only one who'd enjoy that!』  
  
“Or every morning for a week, wanting me to wake you up naked except for an apron. You must have various unusual predilections, don’t you, Misogi?”

『R-really? N-no, this is just a despair thing right. You're raising my hopes to crush them.』  
  
“No. Um, I’m very sorry to tell you that if your only source of hope is naked aprons then there's nothing I can do to push you any further you're already the lowest of the low.”

『There's no way I'm a worse person than you!』  
  
“Always settling for second best my dear MIsogi, do you have no aspirations at all?” Junko said, as she sat on top of the slide, while Misogi was sitting underneath it. She slide all the way to the bottom before continuing. “For your information, my personal recommendation would likely be… waking you up every morning with just an apron on. If you like, I’ll even throw in making you breakfast, as well. Isn’t that the happiness you’ve endured a miserable life just to see just once?”

『LIsten, Junko. Even if we theoretically came to such an arrangement, I don’t think you’d be able to last that long without trying to poison my food.』  
  
“Oh, my. Now that you mention it, it’s quite true.”

『She doesn’t even try to deny it!』  
  
“Although, I was pretty sure you'd never ask me to do anything would you?”

『Wow, you have a surprising amount of faith in me.』  
  
“Because you’re a loser.”

『Yeah, I think I’ve heard that in the past.』  
  
“You don't see yourself as worthy of asking anything of the great me.”

『Nevermind, she sees me as beneath her still.』  
  
The two of them sat on the swings next to each other. Junko idly swung back and forth, while Kumagawa had already somehow gotten his swing all twisted and tangled up and was going in slow circles as he tried to unwind himself. “That’s all I wanted to talk to you about, but are you sure there isn’t something, Misogi? You should have something you want from me? Don't you have at least one problem?" 

『Problem, huh? You’re my biggest problem, and you’re not going anywhere soon, and you’re very complicated.』  
  
“Yes, I don’t intend on becoming any less difficult any time soon.” Enoshima Junko said.  
  
Kumagawa Misogi stood up from his swing and went to push her instead. He was not succeeding on his own anyway. As Junko swung, she looked just like a little girl, her pigtails trailing in the breeze behind her. "Unfortanately, even with all the talent in the world I don't think I could ever fix you, MIsogi. So you can't ask for that." 

Kumagawa’s legs shook as he kicked at the air.『At least make an effort!』  
  
“I wouldn't want to fix you anyway. You're much more fun to me when you're broken.”

『It's not like I expected you to fix me. If you have time to fix anyone you should work on your own personality.』  
  
“But you fell in love with this terrible personality!”

『Blackmail. unfair. Why do you keep bothering me to ask something of you, anyway? Since when have I relied on you for anything, you're the one whose always getting everyone to do things for you.』 Kumagawa said as he stopped pushing her suddenly, and leaned over her swing to watch her.   
  
“Well, to be honest, I wanted something in return.” _That’s not what I want._ _  
_

『Oh, of course I should have known!』 _  
_ _  
_ Junko stepped over him where he was lying on the ground. He looked up at her, just as she sat on his chest. “Those reactions of yours are so big, yet as a person you’re so small.”

『I’m only a centimeter shorter than you, you know.』  
  
“But, no matter how petty you are, I’ll never abandon you. At least as long as I’m not bored with you. I’m going to play along with your pettiness as a friend should.”

『That’s a questionable definition of friendship, you know. I wonder what kind of abuse you’re going to heap on me, now. Ah... did you just admit we were friends?』  
  
Junko put on her fake cutesy face, widening her eyes and holding her hands at her mouth. “You’re so cute Misogi, such a cool senpai, so funny and so thoughtful."

『Don’t start praising me, and don't suddenly call me a friend! It's creepy and weird! Go back to being mean! 』  
  
“Are you sure there isn’t anything else? Like, do you want me to help you study?”

『I’ve already given up on that. My only goal is to graduate without repeating a year.』  
  
“So you want to repeat a year?" 

『I'm not going to repeat a year if I just carry on normally, I'm not that bad.』  
  
“But you have no concept of what normal is? Oh, is that why you're domed to failure? Have we finally figured it out?"

『You’re just trying to pick a fight with me, aren’t you?』Kumagawa snapped at her.  
  
_No, I’m not._  “Upupu, Misogi just asked me to be mean, and now he's back to complaining again. He's so hard to please. His girlfriend just wants him to be happy.” She smiled down at him, self assured.  _How to carry on a normal conversation without insulting him, or purposefully trying to pick at his seams so he falls apart. But he's so fun to insult._  
  
『That is the exact opposite of what you want in every situation ever.』Kumagawa rolled out from underneath her. He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a candy bar. 『Just eat this. That’s all I want you to do.』One of the many he had smuggled in when they came to this funhouse.. It had at least been two days for them if Junko’s count was correct. However, he had not eaten once even though it was the food he smuggled in. He always gave it off to her instead, and said that the food he brought would last twice as long as long as it was only one of them eating it.

She took it, and bit off the corner. “You know, even if endurance is your strong suit you’ll die of hunger just the same as everyone else. One we’re dead we’re all the same you know, just piles of rotting meat before god.”

Kumagawa leaned forward, and wiped the chocolate off of her cheek. She felt embarrassed having him fuss over her like that, and smacked his hand away but he persisted.『Awe, how optimistic of the despair queen. Are you in a good mood today?』  
  
She was in a good mood because she was around him, but she would die before telling him that. “Quit avoiding the question.”

『I’m better at dealing with hunger pain than you are. I spent most of my childhood homeless you know.』  
  
“I was homeless too.”

『Yeah, but were you actually homeless or did you just run away from home because you were bored, take Mukuro with you for protection, and stay in internet cafes?』

Junko crossed her arms and angrily ate the rest of the chocolate bar to pout.

『I know when you’re just ignoring me to pout because you hate admitting when you’re wrong, you know.』  
  
“Who gave you permission to know me so well?”

『It’s not my fault you know, it’s yours. Because you talk about yourself nonstop.』  
  
“Let’s talk about you then, Misogi. All I wanted was to ask you some questions.”

『Then, why didn’t you just say that from the start?』  
  
“Oh, yeah, like it’s so easy. To just say the words and make your mouth make the words.”

『Junko, are you okay you sound like you’re short circuiting.』  
  
“Anyway, MIsogi…” The two of them in their long rambling and wandering around, had somehow ended up sitting next to each other again. She was so close that their shoulders were touching, and yet she dared lean on him even further. This time as she leaned towards him, Kumagawa did not retreat. As she stared into the pools of his eyes, she wanted to see what was lying underneath. Even if it meant plunging head first into the depths, even if it meant drowning in him, even if her waxing poetic started to sound like inuendo. _Hey, Misogi. Prove to me that you’re real. That this is… a genuine feeling._ “How did you know Hinata-kun’s name before you met him?”

『I met him before because we were in the reserve course together.』  
  
“How did you know what the symptoms of the despair disease would be before Monokuma explained it?”

『Or I guess you could call me lame. Why do you want to do something for the lame me, anyway?』  
  
『We experienced the despair disease in the past remember? Or at least a prototype version. This mastermind is highly derivative of you, so I thought he would just try to repeat something from the past. He’s not very creative.』  
  
“Those are called narrative parallels, and hey don’t be so rude to your captor Misogi. How did you know to bring food this time around?”  
  
『I didn’t. I just always carry around food in my pockets, because I hope if I feed people snacks they’ll like me more and I can finally make some friends.』  
  
“Hmmm, you actually think people will like you? Likely story… What about… Fuyuhiko-senpai’s eye. Why was it the same color as mine?”  
  
『Well we died so… this is just a guess but I bet he stole it from your body.』  
  
“Ewe gross, I hate it when losers touch my things.”

『But you let me touch your things!』  
  
“Should I stop letting you touch my things?”

『No, wait please don’t stop!』  
  
“Well, I guess I won’t for now while it still remains interesting hmmm… One more thing I want to ask, Hey Misogi… tell me about your parents.”

『What?』  

 _I need proof that you’re real. Despair that ties you to this world._ “Come on, I want to hear it. Your absolute worst secret. Tell me how your parents failed in raising you.”

『Junko, I already told you pretty much everything…. Everything except for that.』  
  
Junko tilted her head to one side, her eyes looked uneven for some reason, off balance. “But, I want everything. Hey, give it to me, I want everything. Did you really forget, or are you just pretending to forget.”

『I want to forget…. I wanted to forget more than anything. Hey, Junko please anything but that… I have to have some boundaries.』  
  
“Why?”

『Because I’ll disappear otherwise. Why do you need to know so badly?』  
  
“Disappear then. Didn’t I tell you I was going to devour you? I need to know… if it was some interesting misery you went through I need to know...” He reflected in her red eyes, she looked hungry. Before she could say anything else though, suddenly an observer appeared behind them. Ajimu Najimi was sitting on the ground with her legs crossed.  
  
“Yahoo, Junko-chan! Ah, am I interrupting something? Were you just getting to the good part?”

Glad for the interruption, Kumagawa Misogi smiled. 『Ajimu-san.』

“So, what did you two learn today getting stuck in this funhouse together?” Ajimu asked, resting her chin on her outstretched hand.  
  
Ajimu and Junko immediately began to glare at one another.   
  
Kumagawa slipping away from Junko right then, causing Junko to slide forward for a moment because she had been leaning so much against him, and catch herself. 『Well since you two are such good friends why don’t you catch up? I still need to move all those boxes of deadly weapons, bye, bye Junko!』

He disappeared, running away quickly the moment he saw an opening. Enoshima Junko and Ajimu Najimi were left staring awkwardly at each other, as neither of them really liked the other.

 

 ♛

 

Ajimu Najimi observed Kumagawa as he ate a popsicle next to her. It was such a mundane activity, and yet they always did it, sitting on the edge of their porch.

 _Kumagawa-kun has been by my side..._ _  
_ _He has put up with all of my selfish behavior._ _  
_ _He’s so small an existence._ _  
_ _But to me he is.._

『Anshin’in-san.. WHat do you think?』  
  
Ajimu looked up, leaving her popsicle half eaten. “About what?”

『A nickname! Remember, before you said you wanted to have one?』  
  
“Ohhh! I think I remember that.”

『I worked really hard on the Kanji, it means “Ms Peace of Mind” if you read it. I thought that would sound nice… because when I’m around you I always have peace of mind. I can… Umm.. I can come up with something else if you want me too.』  
  
“Anshin’in-san. I like it. It’s nice. I’ll make sure everybody calls me it from now on.”

『From now on, I shall call you Anshin’in-sama.』

“Sama? That’s unnecessary. Anshin’in-san is fine.”

『I-I see- then… Anshin’in-san. I… I love you.』  
  
“I already told you, there’s no way I could love someone whose not a main character.”

『N-n-not that kind of love. I was wrong, I didn’t know what love was but… I want to always stay by your side. Even if it’s just playing house, even if it’s a fake family, couldn’t we stay together? You’re… the only person who ever bothered to stay with me for this long, you’re like a wise older sister to me. Even if I’m not a main character, don’t you think we could have something like that?』  
  
“Hmmm, I’ll think about it.”

『You always say that.』  
  
She was an observer.  
There was a non-human who called herself. She had observed quite a lot, and gathered a lot of information over her extensive life.  
She was never on the side of justice, but neither was she a subordinate of evil.  
She was neither a plus, nor a minus.   
Protect the minus, destroy the plus.  
Traumple the minus, flatter the plus.   
Ridicule the losers, rebuke the victors.   
And while on one hand she had lived like that, she would happily do the opposite too.   
Protect the plus, destroy the minus.   
Trample the plus,  flatter the minus.   
Ridicule the victors, rebuke the losers.   
She was not mean spirited. It was only that she was fair. This world was senseless after all, without any reason or boundaries. She at least could be fair. She was nothing but honest about this philosophy of hers.  
  
“Humans.”  
They were all the same to her.  
She saw no difference between them.   
She loved all of them, no matter the result, even if the humans she loved broke.  
She could equally love a broken human.  
But she wondered, if she could love this one when her love would only break him farther.  
  
To put it this way, she had always been an impartial observer.  
Because all she could do was watch, time moved for her unbelievably quickly.

To say that the time she spent with Kumagawa Misogi was special in anyway, would disgrace her.  
_Yet,_ _  
_ She thought about all the time she had spent with her foolish little brother.  
She had only met him on a whim at first, in that alleyway, on a rainy day, holding an umbrella over his head.  
She had read scenes like that in manga before.  
If he got annoying, or tedious, or clung too tightly to her, she planned on getting rid of him.  
He always seemed to know where the line existed between them though.  
He was terrified of crossing that boundary.  
He never once did it on his own.  
Because he was scared of losing her.  
He seemed to be content forever just to exist next to her.  
She too.  
Having only just met him, she felt like she’d known him for ages, every interaction with him added up together to be a huge failure in her judgement, and her heart ached with it. She had always been around humans, but she noticed there were differences between them. They were dyed with all colors of emotions, but she might as well have been pure white. Just like a porelain doll, perfect, beautiful, pristine, but hollow on the inside. Yet around him, she became angry out of displeasure, laughed when amused, and had let her guard down.  
  
She wondered if it was all the time she had spent observing, years far too long for any human to comprehend the sheer amount of it. Day after day, years would pass with nothing happening to her. The only thing that reminded her of time’s passage was the mortality of other beings beside her. They were alive because they could die. She felt envious of them.  
  
Yet, now every day was fresh. It was like being reborn daily. Compared to her previous life, where she had once fallen asleep drifting in space and woken up to see the molten earth forming entirely around her, the time she spent with the young fool seemed like many years’ worth of experience.  
  
Even within a single day, morning and evening were totally different. To her, who thought everything, everything, everything was the same. In that moment she realized something so simple, so foolishly simple.  
  
_Was the secret to being human, just being recognized and treated as a human?_

She had taken the form of a human for a long time, she had eaten, and slept like a human, talked with countless humans, and now…  
  
She realized a desire for the first time. She was content with being an observer, but she wanted somebody to sit in the seats with her. They could be a partner, a fellow critic, she didn’t care particularly as long as there was someone there sitting on the boundary lines watching with her.

_Stop looking at me Kumagawa-kun with those watery eyes of yours._

_Those feelings are flowing into me._ _  
_ _A step, sticky, disgusting feeling that seemed to slowly constrict my chest._ _  
_ _It felt like I was drowning underneath the surface of water._ _  
_ _Slow suffocation._ _  
_ _Is that love?_  
_If something like that was aimed at oneself, I wonder how that would feel._ _  
_ _If you, came to love me, I wonder how that would feel._

However, she knew this as well. Kumagawa was somebody who if she asked, would devote himself to her for the rest of his life. He’d sit in the seats with her, and forget about the rest of the world.  
  
But, she could not bring herself to do that.  
Kumagawa was an incredibly warm existence.  
He was not cold like her.  
At first he lived only for her, but he was slowly starting to change.  
Always so straightforward and determined.  
He wanted to fight and protect others weaker than him, he wanted not to lose anything.  
But, things simply weren’t that clear for her.  
These eyes have seen a lot, and these ears have heard a lot, too.  
He was somebody who belonged on the stage, even if he lied about himself and pretended otherwise. She could not keep him away from where he belonged to satisfy her own loneliness. Even if he ended up hating her. Even if he despised her. The alternative, keeping him all to herself would be the worst thing she had ever done in trillions of years existing.  
  
And, so that was why she decided to step off that chair and fall the next day. As she stepped off and felt the rope tighten around her neck, she heard the sound of a door swinging open. That boy really did have the worst luck.  
  
The next thing she new, she could only see total darkness. She wondered why that was, because she could feel something wet, and hear something dripping on the floor. Oh, her face had been torn off. Even after doing such a gruesome thing that boy held onto her and sobbed for a moment. Then, he let her go and walked over picking up the chair that she had kicked over, and sitting on it as he waited to get caught, his hands soaked with her blood, her flesh a mess on the floor.  
  
He seemed so bitter.  
She wondered why.  
_He looks like he’s in suspension._ _  
_ _Nobody likes coming face to face with the end roll credits._ _  
_ _He looks like he’s a distortion._ _  
_ _That’s how it had to be, these hazy daydreams had to meet their endings and the curtain had to fall._

_“Yeah but… even so… I know it’ll be lots of fun.” He pulled out what he was hiding behind his back, and held out a popsicle with two sticks meant to be broken in half to her. “I just know it will.”_

_“Mmmm…. When the time comes I’ll think about it.”_ _  
_ _“Promise?”_ _  
_ _“I promise.”_

 _Those words she could not take back._ _  
_ _They were all lies, all lies._ _  
_

At that moment she woke up, and saw herself in an empty classroom. When she looked up she saw, an infinite amount of empty classrooms expanding in the horizon. Oh, she realized where she was. Kumagawa must have sealed her inside of his heart, his only happy memory. The time they spent in the classroom. There, she waited for three years until she could escape and try the same thing over again.  
  
She learned nothing at all from the past, and failed to change.

 _I told you there was no point in reaching into the past._ _  
_ _There’s no changing what happened._ _  
_ _Even if I had reached out and taken his hand it wouldn’t matter._ _  
_ _Because I’m in the audience, and he’s on stage._ _  
_ _There’s no way to reach out and change this sickening story._

 

 ♛

  
“Ajimu-san.”  
  
“Call to me with affection, Anshin’in-san.”  
  
“Ajimu-san.”  
  
“What is it, Junko-chan?”

“Hey, do you even really exist?” Junko finally asked leaning against the wall and hugging her knees to her chest as she looked at the other.  
  
“What a philosophical question you’ve suddenly asked me, Junko-chan.” Jokingly, Ajimu stroked her chin.  
_  
_ “Shut up, you know what I mean. Everything about your existence sounds so impossible, how were you even born?”  
  
“I dunno. At one moment I didn’t exist, then I did. I assume it’s no different for a human you don’t remember from before you were born, or why you were born.”  
  
“I was born to spread despair.”  
  
“Yes, Junko-chan you sure were, that’s so cute of you to think so. Anyway. I was born, I waited a little while, and then the universe was born right after me. Like bang.”  
  
“Does alien life exist besides humans?”  
  
“Dunno.”  
  
“How can you not know? You’re literally an immortal being from space?”  
  
“I wandered around the cold void of space alone for awhile, until I found earth. Earth seemed interesting enough, and exploring the rest of the universe seemed like too much of a chore so I stayed here.”  
  
“You’re an immortal being with near trillions of power why do you spend all your time trolling teenagers?”  
  
“You’re the smartest human being on earth and you could do anything, why do you spend all your time trying to get teenagers to murder each other?”  
  
“Touche…” Junko said, before she let her face sink into her lap once more.  
  
“That’s not what you wanted to ask me about, is it?”  
  
“Do you know what happened to Misogi, in the past?”  
  
“I do.”  
  
“Then, tell me.”  
  
“Nah.”  
  
“Why not? Is it against your playing neutrality policy, because that’s bullshit anyway.”    
  
“No, it’s just because I don’t like you.” Ajimu said, sticking her tongue out at the other girl.

Junko raised her eyes to glare for a moment at the older than the universe girl who somehow had the exact same level of maturity she did. “That’s way too petty.”  
  
“I’ve been recognized by the queen of pettiness, should I feel honored?” Ajimu put a finger underneath her eye, and pulled her eyelid down. “If you want to know, there’s a way you could look.”

That was right, parasite seeing. Junko did not even question for a moment that Ajimu was tempting her to do something she should not do, to cross some boundary she should not cross, because for her there was no boundary that existed that did not exist to be torn apart.  
  
The moment she wished for it, she saw it through Kumagawa’s eyes. Kumagawa had run away to hide from her. The moment he was alone, all the unpleasantness seeped out of him. He heard a voice call out from behind him.

『 _Look at me. You’re so unfriendly. Do it. Accept me. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on._ 』  
  
“You keep quiet!” Kumagawa spoke in his honest and vulnerable voice.

『 _You remember it don’t you?_ 』  
  
“I’ve forgotten about it, it never happened.”

『 _You remember, you shitty bastard._ 』The other Kumagawa wrapped his arms around Kumagawa’s neck. He looked younger, he was dripping in shadow, his hair was shaved clean at the sides and kept neat. He was wearing the uniform of a middle school she did not recognize. 『 _You remember crying for help and being beaten over petty things._ 』

Kumagawa Misogi had been born under an unlucky star. At least that’s what the parents who gave birth to him believed. He was born to a religious cult, for the sole purpose of becoming a living sarifice. The chosen child would shoulder onto himself, all the sins and misfortunes of the world, or at least that was what the star he was born under said. That was why he was given such a strange name. Kumagawa Misogi. The cleansing ceremony that happened in the river.

Whenever any member of the cult was punished, he would bear their sins for them. The punishment took a special form. The ends of screws were sharpened to a point, and then driven into his body slowly. One screw for each sin. If he bled too much, they would stop and start again later.  
  
The man who did it, Kumagawa thought was his father. He would keep talking as he did it. “Ugly things can never be loved. Living is the accumulation of ugliness. Your mother became quite ugly after she had you.”  
  
“Mama?”

“Your mother was ugly and foolish to turn you over to me. Listen, ugly children are loved by no one, because children should be pure."  
  
“Am I that ugly?”

“Yes."  
  
“...”  
  
“But, I can make you a beautiful child. If you sacrifice yourself for all of us, you can become beautiful. You may have lived an ugly life, but you’ll have a beautiful death.”  
  
“R-really…”  
  
“Living is the accumulation of negative karma. If an ugly thing like you continues to live you'll be dyed pitch black. What you need is a pure whit death.”  
  
And Kumagawa would agree to it, because he wanted to be loved. He was thus tortured in the name of love for the next four years. He was punished again and again for every single imperfection, not in himself but also in others. Until his hair turned white from the stress. He stopped remembering what people’s faces looked like, and stopped even seeing them as human, just formless blobs, shadows, sources of pain. He could only see their hands reaching out to violate them. The only part of their faces he could remember was their smiles, because even while giving him such terrible pain, for some reason they always smiled at him. He had no idea at all what lied behind those smiles, but he saw the true nature of a smile at that moment. The kindest of human beings, and the most evil of human beings could both smile with the same amount of beauty. As he could not understand the reasons behind their smile, it made no difference to him. Humans smiled when they were soothing others, and smiled when they were causing them pain.  
  
He endured the pain of the cult, and the world, so that the adults around him did not have to endure any pain at all. It was all taken out on him, the helpless child, the born sacrifice. He knew no other world but pain. Enduring pain until he could be reborn as something beautiful.  
  
Eventually though, even he reached a point where he could not take it. He saw the memory of his childhood self, hair dyed white from stress and pain, curled up in the fetal position on the ground. He called out for parents who had never spoken to him or acknowledged him and gave him up to this fate. Over and over again, because he was just a spineless brat and he did not know better.  
  
Eventually the door cracked open and he saw a single eye peering through it. He did not know who it belonged to. The only thing he could hear of the outside world, was the sound of rain outside, and the single beam cast upon him from the open door. Then, a voice behind the door muttered.  
  
“Is he dead yet?”  
  
They checked with a cursory glance. That was all he was worth, a few seconds and then they slammed the door shut not caring.  
  
The next day he was thrown in a river to drown.  
But he messed up, he didn’t die. The river had saved him somehow, causing him to wash up on shore. He coughed up the water he had swallowed, and breathed the outside air. As he escaped the bindings that had been tied around him, he thought he would be free for the first time.  
  
But that was nothing more than a momentary delusion. He was only four years old after all. He had no idea where to go, or what to do, so he found his way back to the building where he had lived until this point, only to find it completely empty.  
  
The cops had arrived and busted the entire place up, only a day after he had been thrown away. At that moment, Kumagawa realized that there was no point at all to his suffering. Nothing beautiful had been born out of it.  
  
He wasn’t born to be a sacrifice.

『 _You were born for no reason at all, right? You were tortured for no reason at all._ 』

Kumagawa did not know what to do, so he simply sat in the alleyway behind that terrible building and waited. He waited for the off chance that his parents might return home to look for him. He even went out of his way to go to that clinic so on official record, he would be changed to a normal child and maybe that way somebody would want him. 

Eventually, somebody found him sleeping on the streets, but like a rat backed into a corner Kumagawa defended himself hissing and biting at the much stronger predator. From that moment onwards, Kumagawa never knew peace. He was always fighting to protect what little territory he had. He was always walking, surrounded by several other youths trying to beat them up, and he was completely willing to step over their bodies to keep going.  
  
That started a whole chain of events.  
By the time he was middle school age, word got out. About an invincible, born demon named Kumagawa Misogi who no matter how much he was beaten down would always stand up and keep fighting again.

『 _Soon, adults were trying to institutionalize me._ 』  
『 _Every gang of rejects in the city was trying to jump me._ 』  
『 _I hadn't done anything._ 』  
『 _All I was trying to do was live a nice peaceful life._ 』  
  
He waited in that alleyway for his parents to come home, defending his turf from every attacker. Eventually, somebody unexpected found him instead and he was taken in by Ajimu Najimi. Even then, time with Ajimu was just a bit respite from the chaos of his every day life.  People still kept trying to challenge him, he was still constantly getting in fights. Having a home, having a person he cared about, that was just more to fight for, more to protect, more to lose.   
  
He remembered pacing restlessly on the tatami floors of their shared home. His hands in his pockets, stomping his feet with every step as he walked in circles. 『Damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit, so pissed off. Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit shit. 』

Ajimu walked away, and retrieved some milk silently putting it on the table for him.  She looked up at him with calm eyes no matter how bad the temper he was throwing.  
  
Kumagawa sighed. 『Yeah, I know...』 He said as he hastily drunk the milk to calm down.  
  
No matter where he went, it seemed he was always being followed around by trouble whether he wanted to or not. Even though he had escaped that cult a long while ago, there were never ending ways in which he could endure the pain of others. He never started fights really, but just as much as he was hurt he would hurt others.  
  
Soon, he started to genuinely think that the entire world was his enemy. That everything would be taken from him. No matter how strong he was, somebody stronger would show up to take from him. That was why he hated Kurokami Medaka’s existence so much, from the moment he saw her. Because he knew, no matter how strong he got, no matter how much he had fought in life she would be stronger than him. She would exist, able to take everything from him, and there was nothing he could do to stop her.  
  
“You are quite strong, strong enough to contest Kurokami-san. But… If you advanced beyond merely being the strongest, then things might change. And to do so, you’ll need to follow our plans and participate in our experiments.”  
  
A voice said. A stage light illuminated a man in a white lab coat. That man, Kumagawa did not remember anything about his face only that he carried the name Shiranui with him.  
  
Power breeds conflict. No matter where he was, he would always be living a life of constant conflict. 『 _Then I just need to have absolute power that no one’ll ever contest_ ... _If I do that… One day I’ll..._ 』  
  
He imagined, his pitch black childhood self being taken by the hand of another child. The child led him off to a park. A lot of other children were playing around on the playground equipment, enjoying the peace without worrying about it. As he was led by the hand he smiled. He saw two children, a boy and a girl playing in the sandbox and building a sandcastle and thought _how fun that would be._

His secret desire, he was so close to it, but the world turned pitch black in front of him.

『 _I’ll never have to fight again..._ 』

But he knew, that desire was something he could never have.  
He had seen it when he saw Ajimu in suspension dangling from the ceiling it was like he accepted it.

She was dead, and he was unable to protect her.  
It was just as Ajimu had told him so long ago.

_I already knew, that I’m no  protagonist._

_I already knew… I already knew.  
  
_ 『 _You already know you shitty, shitty piece of shit, so accept me already..._ 』

“This isn’t real, this isn’t real, this isn’t real, I’m not really seeing this it’s just a flash back, this is in the past…” Kumagawa muttered. Just then, Kumagawa noticed something. He turned around and saw somebody watching him. “What are you doing here?” He asked, looking at Junko. “Hey, hey… don’t look, it’s embarrassing.”

 ♛

  
  
“You tricked me!” Junko shouted in a high ptiched voice, as her vision cut off. She knew she had seen something she was not supposed to see.  
  
“It can hardly be called tricking you, if you stick your paw straight into the beehive of your own free will just because you can’t resist the taste of honey.” Ajimu said, resisting the temptation to roll her eyes.  
  
“Don’t try to seduce me with cute bear metaphors, bitch.”  
  
“I’m not trying to do anything to you. I couldn’t make you move in any way you didn’t want to, that’s how stubborn you are. This is your own fault, because you can’t help yourself but to meddle and sink your claws deep into others.”  
  
“Shut up, I’m already in a bad enough mood I don’t need to hear you lecturing me. What are you even doing here anyway? I thought you thing was being neutral, it’s weird to see you messing with others. Stay in character!”  
  
Ajimu Najimi sighed. “You know Junko. You like to give me a hard time, but we’re more alike than you think. We share the same commone enmy, don’t we? Boredom.” Suddenly, Junko saw that woman disappear. She looked around trying to analyze where she had gone, only to see Ajimu appear right in front of her, and in the next moment Ajimu had grabbed her face. “It’s like one of those colds that just refuses to go away. If you’re not careful, you’ll start coming down with thoughts of ‘Why was I even born? What’s the meaning of life?’ lame junk like that.”  
  
Faster than Junko could even process, she had been grabbed and her head was slammed on the ground. The impact made her brain rattle, and quickly her mind tried to compensate for all the damage this had done to her perception.  
  
Above her, she could see Ajimu Najimi was smiling as she grabed her face and threw threw again. “You see what your problem is, you gota change the scenery to keep the stimulation going, that’s the best way to treat that sucker, but… you’re always just stuck in that boring head of yours. No matter what you do, you can’t escape. I feel bad for you. So, I’ll help. The world’s like an egg right, you’ve gotta crack it open for a new one to be born. How about I crack your skull?”  
  
She slammed Junko’s head down once more. Junko tasted blood in the back of her mouth, as her brain tried to reorient itself again she stared up at Ajimu. “What are you doing? You’re not even a part of the killing game, it’s so unlike you to get this violent.” Her eyes sharpened on Ajimu.  
  
“So observant, even when you’re being beaten up like this? There really is no way to escape your own head huh?” She knelt over Junko and whispered to her. “It’s you. No matter what you do, you always get forgiven. No matter what you take from him,  he just shuts up and takes it. He’s like a sobbing child, clinging to you no matter how much he’s abused… I’ve had to watch it again, and again, and again, it’s getting so tedious. That’s why I… just want to shake things up a little bit.”  
  
“Nice speech.”  
  
“It was, wasn’t it? Why do you do it? Kumagawa-kun would give up everything for you, but you won’t give up despair for him?”  
  
“I… I need despair… I can’t go on living in this world, not like this, not without it…” At that moment, as she clutched her face Enoshima Junko thought. _Huh? I thought I was doing all this to die? Was I thinking all this time… Somewhere deep down inside of me… about living a little longer…_

Ajimu Najimi grabbed her by the hair, and dragged her by the pig tails. “You’re absolutely right about one thing my dear sister. Sooner or later, everyone is bound to die. Death, oh death! How ephemeral a thing, so brief and defined. This final destination of man.”  
  
She let go of Junko and looked around at the weapons that Kumagawa and Junko had carelessly left strewn about. Ajimu picked up the axe. “However, I don’t see it as a tragedy. it's because you die you're able to change, it's what makes you human but not me. The despair that is my being is forgotten by death. I’ve lived a uselessly long life, and because of that there’s nothing at all for me to embrace... there's nobody at all like me...“

Junko glared up with one eye. “Another nice speech. Normally I’m the one coming up with and making cool speeches like that, but I think you gave me a concussion fuck.” She clutched her head again. “Didn’t you get over this suicidal thing last arc?”  
  
“You should know better than anyone, Junko-chan. Being suicidal isn’t something that can be fixed with a motivational speech. I thought hitting your head would at least shut you up a little bit. Oh well."  
  
"It's weird hearing you complain about being immortal, is it that bad?"  
  
"Why do you think I gave Kumagawa-kun All Fiction when he ripped off my face? I punished him with immortality."   
  
“What are you doing?”  
  
“It’s because of you, Kumagawa-kun changed. But you refuse to change for him. That’s why… you should just die, and give him back. Return the beatiful Kumagawa-kun to me if you don’t want him. This entire game is your fault, it would end the moment you died…”  
  
“I…”

 _If I play with him he’ll break._ _  
_ _Every toy I’ve played with has broken.  
__But, I can't help but want to play with them.  
I've only got this one short life to live you know?   
When the toy chest falls... it'll be over with. I want to have fun too.   
Just like everyone else.   
_ Childishly, that was all Junko could think of. She could not stop being a child even to her last.   
  
“Don’t hate me. You wouldn’t do any different you know, just pick the most efficacious method and enact it, no matter how ruthless or cruel. That’s how you’ve always done it.”

Then, suddenly from nowhere Kumagawa reappeared again blocking the downward swing of Ajimu’s axe. He was holding a sword he had picked up off the floor, and holding it wrong.

『Ajimu-san.』  
  
She smiled back at him. “Call to me with affection, Anshin’in-san.”    
  
Kumagawa rushed at her, only to immediately trip on one of the many things Junko and him had left on the ground.   
  
She pushed a finger into his chest and pushed him over. He flew backwards once again and thescrew he was holding fell out of his hand. Ajimu Najimi sighed, disappointed. As he struggled to his feet, she walked over to him, and knelt down over his chest. “If strength was measured by the hits one could take, then you wouldn’t be considered such a loser.” She dragged a finger down his forehead, his cheek, and then his chest. “To be honest, I thought you would be better. It turns out the time I spent to you went to waste, it became nothing, little prince..”

『I’m disappointed too, because you’re also nothing. Ajimu-san. The truth is… what's between Junko and I is real, that's why I took her side and not yours』

Enoshima Junko stared at the strange and complicated tangle of a mess before her. Even with super high school level analysis she was sure she would not understand the relationship between those two, and yet at that moment. “Oh… I get why you’re acting so strange. You’re worried he’s going to die here, aren’t you? You’re trying to shake things up so a murder will happen and he’ll be released before he starves to death. You actually care about someone, ewe… icky… don’t come near me I might catch feels, cooties, how disgusting.”  
  
At that, Ajimu Najimi stood up suddenly. She looked back at Junko, her red eyes sharpening.  "Nevermind, I’m bored of this.”

Suddenly, she was grabbed by the sleeve, with the last of his willpower Kumagawa Misogi looked up smiling at her.『Anshin'in-san, living forever is fun. I mean who wants to die. It's a pretty cool punishment you've given him.』

"You always say such foolish things, Kumagawa-kun."

Just as suddenly as she had appeared, that ghost of a woman vanished. Kumagawa's fingers were only grasping at thin air, and then he closed them up. 

 

 ♛

 

A time between them, too long to describe in words passed in total silence. Enoshima Junko had stopped keeping track, because her head hurt too much. Her brain was trying to compensate for all the shaking that had happened, adjusting her senses.

It was Kumagawa who stood up finally. He stumbled over to her side, and leaned against the wall. Ajimu had not hurt him too badly, he had just exhausted himself trying too hard, and he was emotionally exhausted as well. 『Sorry about that. When Ajimu-san gets in one of her moods she’s impossible to deal with. For an unkowable horror from space she sure is moody, yeah yeah... 』Kumagawa muttered playing the whole scene off with a smile.  
  
“You know, I can tell when you’re faking a smile. You always smile in a way that looks like you’re crying…I can always tell.” Junko said as she leveled her eyes at him. Eyes that could take in and analyze any detail. At the moment, all she looked at, all that reflected in them was his miesrable face. She wanted to see all of it, to remember that face forever. “Nothing she said was untrue you know. Despair’s an honest bitch like that. You’re the one who needs to be comforted the most, but I’m always making you comfort me. It’s sickening. I’m sure… if I was watching it I’d get pissed off too.”

『Junko, I don’t mind...』  
  
Suddenly, she grabbed the side of his head. Resourcefully, by the hair she pushed his head into her lap.

『Hmmmm? This position is a little weird, and it tickles. You’re letting me rest in your lap? You only let me rest in your lap after I’ve been killed, or when I’m particularly badly hurt. When did I do something worthy of this kind of reward?』

  
“You don’t have to put on that weird tough act now.”

『If I’m already completely worn out, what kind of weakling am I?』

  
“That’s right, you are weak. But you know… even a weak guy like you is always doing things for me, and I can’t do a single thing for you. I wanted to do something for you, but I couldn’t even say it directly.”

『Junko... I don't mind it really... our relationship is messy, but that's because you're my first friend you know. Neither of us know what we're doing. But some things I can't... I just can't...』  
  
“You'll never tell me what's really going on, will you? Well, that's fine I guess. You might be more interesting with secrets. But, hey Misogi…” She said as she stroked his hair. “You are my pain. You give me death, as well as life. I don’t know if I can stop hurting you, but we can at least suffer together.”

 _  
_ She reached into his pocket, and drew out a chocolate bar. This time she unwrapped it and broke it in half, shoving it straight into his mouth. She did not let him resist, even pinching his cheeks so she knew he would chew.  
  
“So, stop starving on your own. That won't be any fun for me. Let’s spend the rest of this time starving together? Kay?”

『Mmmmm...』  
  
"If you want to get angry at me sometimes, you should. You should mind it a little more. I know despair is... I'm a fickle little bitch. And... if we fight more it'll just be more fun for me. I thrive off of that kind of petty drama you know."

『Mmmmm...』 

"Sooner or later... I'll devour you, so I'm begging you. Don't let me kill you just let."   
  
He chewed and swallowed just like she had asked him to. 

『I would never die in a boring way, I promise.』 


	35. Smile at Despair in the Name of Laughter (7 - Ordinary x Extraordinary)

_I wanted to live a life different than other people._ _  
_

The sun beat down on him relentlessly, just like everything else. Hinata Hajime felt like not only the island’s punching bag, but also in general the story’s final punch line. His entire arc had been an anti-climax, huh? That was all it had been. All of that build up of what his talent was, just for a subversion all along. He wondered if whoever he existed to deconstruct was having a happy life right now, if they were oblivious to the fact that there was somebody out there, much weaker than them, that existed as nothing more than a stepping stone to highlight how important they were.  
  
The audience was probably just laughing at him. He thought he was so important, he thought after drawing out the reveal for this long he was going to have some kind of amazing talent. He thought he was the kind of character that turns everything around at last minute, with the amazing reveal of their true power, like this was some kind of shonen manga. He just wanted to be a main character, but what was he know? A dummy protagonist? A decoy? A meaningless distraction for the audience? Probably a dummy protagonist, you know because he’s dumb.  
  
Days had passed  and instead of coming together those on the island broke into much smaller groups. Nobody had done anything, because none of them could decide. There was an unspoken desire shared amongst all of them, almost all of them at least Mukuro was the only one who spoke against it, to simply let things happen. It was like the trolley problem. If they interfered they would be dragged into Monokuma’s motive and they could be made responsible for a murder. If they did not interfere then… at least there would be no blood on their hands. It was cowardly, but any group that had lost nearly half of its members would begin acting like cowards. Especially when the people they needed to save, Junko and Kumagawa were so terrifying.  
  
Everybody broke into little groups as they tried to decide what to do for themselves, except for Hinata who was left alone. They must have all suspected him of being the traitor, as no one came to talk to him anymore. He was procrastinated upon. Which is how in this moment, he found himself staring up at the summer sun, lying alone on the beach with his shirt unbuttoned due to the heat.  
  
As he lie there useless, a list of equally useless questions ran through his head. _What’s this? I have no idea what’s going on here. How am I supposed to take this?How am I supposed to interpret it? What the hell am I supposed to do?_ Staring into an unrelentingly bright sun, there was only one equally bright visage he could think of. He saw the image of that boy’s face for a moment, his pale visage, and pure white hair that twisted up in every direction. The sun was so damn bright. If he were here right now, he would probably say something like “I want your hope to shine even brighter than this sun, Hinata-kun.” Except. He wouldn’t. Because Hinata was a reserve course student. There was no hope for him. Hinata raised a hand up from where he had been lying on the ground and closed his fingers over the sun as if he wanted to crush it.  
_  
_ _Sure. I wanted to see him. My best friend, that I’ve even dreamed about. If that creeps you out then get out of my sight. Nothing but creepiness form now on. People… The bonds between them getting tangled in each other. Things that bewilder you.You’re going to see enough of that to make your eyes bleed. That’s just how it is._

Even an ordinary existence like him who had no extraordinary qualities could attest to that. Somehow he had gotten tangled up in the events of this island, and time after time he found himself intertwined with the lives of people who were much more interesting than he was. At the time he thought it was annoying, he complained about all the trouble, but now that he was sitting on the outside of things all he wanted was to go back.

 _Why? Because it’s lonely on the edges._ A simple, petty reason like that. He could no longer even delude himself into thinking he was needed by others or that he wanted to help them. He wanted to be near them, and specifically be near him. _Being around Komaeda is nothing but trouble. Yet, I’m still drawn to him, no matter how much he confuses and scares me I want to figure him out. Why…?_ That answer was still no so clear cut to him, even now when he was being more honest with himself.  
  
He let his hand fall down into the sand. Hinata picked up a fistful, and let it sift through the gaps between his fingers as he held his palm to open. Now that his hand was no longer casting a shadow, the glare of the sun was in his eyes again. Perhaps… the sun really was glaring at him, or looking down at him… or maybe that was just a projection on his part. As he narrowed his eyes, he saw something strange.  
  
If you were to shine light through a prism, it would separate into all of its base component colors, every color of visible light at once. As he stared up at the heat haze, he saw the light of the sun separate into every kind of color. The sky above him was endless, but there was nothing to see. When he looked up, all he could see was something devoid of any life, the same as himself. They say that planes sometimes crashed into water, because they lost track of the boundary lines of the horizon and mistook the ocean for the sky. That was how Hajime felt at this moment, he was losing sight of the boundaries, everything was becoming blurred, and him, insignificant him was fading into the background. It was not the sky that was empty, he was just incapable of seeing anything in it.  
  
Until this moment, the usually empty sky became filled with everything. He saw endless amounts of colors blooming in that sky, like a field of flowers of all different kinds. He wondered if he was experiencing a strange phenomena like aurora borealis, or perhaps he had been staring at the sun for too long and was hallucinating due to heat stroke. Either way blossoming colors made the empty sky seemed filled with life. In those oclors he saw an outline, a silhouette… Oh, this was a memory.

_“I pray that you can avoid my beating you, so you become a despair that makes all of them shine.”_

A boy of pure white, whispered in his uneven sounding voice. He was an utterly unique looking existence, even his voice was unique sounding, the pitch changed at seemingly random intervals up and down, and it was breathy and haggard as if just speaking was a great effort for him.

His hair was fluffy like a cloud, and on the farthest fringes of his many wayward strands there were the softest touches of red. So, this boy had once been a strawberry but his hair had been bleached by this world. He wondered for a moment what kind of experiences might have dyed him such a pure looking color.  
  
A click. A gun pointing right at him. That seemed to answer his question. He heard something in the distance, a heavy and persistent rhythm like the sound of drums. He was loved by everything, except for music. Music had never loved him, and he did not quite know why. Perhaps because music was all about movement, and he was such a stagnant existential. Yet, even him, the embodiment of entropy, where all chaos came to die, even he felt something stirring and shaking within him in that moment.

Oh, that was not the sound of drums. It was the sound of his heart beating. It was so loud he had thought it was drums. He tilted his head to one side. Strange, why was his heart beating so fast? He had guns pointed at him before. He had endured violence and it brought about no change in him. Oh, that was it change. The world had changed from a moment ago. The world was not the same world he knew from before, just from this brief chance meeting.  
  
That boy was pure white, the combination of all colors. He was pure black, the absence of any color at all. The trigger was pulled, and his lip twitched wondering what kind of colors would be made from their interaction. The gun gave an unsatisfying noise, and he he small high he was feeling plummet.  
  
“It’s jammed?”  
  
He did not want to let go of this feeling just yet. The boy stumbled forward, and clumsily tried to work with the mechanisms of the gun. He decided in that moment, he wanted to get closer to try to grasp at that feeling, to reach forward and try to touch colors, as illogical as that sounded, it was that illogicality he craved when logic was nothing more than a cold steel prison for him. He wove himself elegantly in the blind spot of that other boy’s vision, and slid a hand around his hip.  
  
He was unloved by music, and he was unloved by dance as well, so he hoped he would not be too terrible of a dancing partner. He heard the sound of drums again, but this time it was the other boy’s heartbeat spiking, and his own sensitive ears picking it up. They both had such strange rhythms, he wondered momentarily if they would ever be aligned.  
  
He heard it. Just then, as his fingers brushed the hip of the boy their hearts beat at the exact same time. He whispered into the ear of the other boy as if to embrace him, **“If it’s good luck, I have that too.”** An intimate secret shared between the two of them.

He could see the other boy’s head turning slowly, as if he had glimpsed a phantom. When humans got this close, they usually held hands, but he reached out for the gun in the other boy’s hand as well. His hand did not move as precisely as he thought it would though, and in a momentary slip his fingers ghosted a touch on the other boy’s fingers. Just before snatching the gun away.  
  
His eyes moved to the side for a moment. The world around the two of them looked the same way it did when light shined through soap bubbles. Soap bubbles of every color were floating around them, bubbly, bright, carelessly.

There he was, pitch back against all of those colors unable to appreciate them. In another step, he stood behind the boy now. His other hand, traced the curves of that boy’s hip before returning to his side. Not for any particular reason, eh had just been curious what touching someone when he was this close to them would feel like. Perhaps, he was just checking to see if the boy hid another gun in his pocket.  
  
The boy’s head was turning back, still desperate to see him. He wondered in that moment what the other boy was seeing, if he saw the same things as him, if he could hear the same rhythmn. It took two people to dance, after all. Until this point he had always been alone, there was nobody to gaze up with the same sky at him.  
  
The boy finally caught sight of him, and his lips parted. He must have wanted to say something, but all of his breath had been stolen away, so he simply gasped breathless at the sight of the other boy. He wondered who had taken it, what had left him so breathless. He was looking at somebody pitch black after all, devoid of any color at all. Their eyes might, clouded eyes of grey, and targeted, perfectly clear eyes of red. He wondered if everything about them contrasted like this.  
  
Enough of that, though. He pulled the gun out and without a moment of hesitation shot the other boy straight in the heart. Just like a bubble, this precious fragile moment between them shattered in an instant. As he saw such a beautiful thing collapse in front of him, all he could feel was one small wish inside of his chest.

 **_Please don’t die so easily._ ** **_  
_ ** **_If you were to live, that would be more interesting._ **

HInata suddenly felt a cold sweat on his forehead despite the heat of the tropical island, and his eyes opened bringing him back to reality as a particularly loud voice called out over him.

“There are better places to take a nap then on the sand you know.”  Hiyotoshi Zenkichi was smiling down at him, and Hinata Hajime found the light of that smile even more obnoxious than the sun. Hinata would never know for sure if the sun was trying to pick a fight with him by being so bright, but he knew that Zenkichi definitely was.

“You don’t have to keep checking on me, you know,’ Hinata said, narrowing his eyes at the other boy.  
  
“I’m doing it because I want to, not because I have to,” Zenkichi said, his smile uninterrupted.  
  
When he said he was left entirely alone earlier, he might have been overdramatizing in the moment. There was one person who could still stand to be around him. Hinata did not know if he particularly wanted to be in this boy’s presence though, a feeling like jealousy, or perhaps the stubbornness that made a beggar want to be a chooser. “Well, aren’t you such a nice guy…”  
  
“Haha, do you think I am?” Hitoyoshi scratched at the back of his head, not picking up on the other boy’s sarcasm.  
  
Hinata sat up, realizing it would not be easy to get rid of him. “Hey, I was thinking about something…”  
  
“You always seem to be thinking about something dude. Do you think maybe you overthink things?”

“Well, I’m sorry I can’t run on pure emotions like you and Kurokami-san.” His fingers dragged in the sand. Zenkichi was right though, Hinata Hajime was an incredibly rare kind of dummy. He could overthink everything, and yet somehow at the same time not think about anything at all. Unaware of how badly he just got roasted by the narrator, Hajime continued. “I don’t get it, that girl is terrifying, and overwhelming but you were able to stay by her side for so long. Yet, I’m too scared right now to even look at Komaeda, I’ve just been running away from him the past few days. What’s the difference between you and me, if you’re just an average guy too, why are you so special?”

“Special…?” Hitoyoshi Zenkichi stopped scratching at his head. “I don’t think I’m that special.”  
  
“Well of course you don’t think you’re special, you’re also humble in addition to how nice of a guy you are, and how optimistic. If anything you’re too humble, and too nice… gosh can you get a real flaw these are like job interview flaws?”  
  
“Huh? Hinata, I can’t hear what you’re saying if you keep muttering to yourself like that, dude.”  
  
“Nevermind, what I’m saying isn’t worth hearing. You’re a sweet guy, and I’m being nothing but bitter.”

“I don’t really get what you’re going on about… but what’s the difference? Some people like bitter tasting things and some people like sweet tasting things, right? And if you eat too much sweet stuff you’re going to get sick anyway. It’s just a matter of taste.” Zenkichi turned his head away and looked off into the distance. “Besides, I wasn’t being humble. I don’t think there’s such a thing as special existences in this world…Listen.”  
  
“Anyway, no! I am not going to return! I will play here with Zenkichi forever.”  
  
That day, Kurokami Medaka (two years old) who was discovered that the nursery, barricaded herself with Zenkichi as a hostage. Most likely the youngest person in history to take a hostage.  
  
Hitoyoshi Hitomi held her hands up to placate the girl. “Wai-... you said play with him forever... What are you saying, Medaka chan. Let’s stop fooling around, kay?” She closed her eyes and gave the girl a mile like she was dating with any other child as she approached her son from behind. “First, hand over Zenkichi-kun to us…”  
  
Just then Hitomi felt a change in the direction of the winds. Her eyes peeled open slowly, and not only did her hair blow in the breeze, but the short cute bob of that little girl swayed as well. There was a fist directly between her eyes. Kurokami Medaka slowly recoiled that fist. “I’ll hit you for sure next time, Hitomi-sensei.”  
  
With her threat made, nex came her demands. Kurokami Medaka swept her arms at her sides posing grandly for someone so small. The little lion cub could not wait to be king. “First, bring snacks and juice here! I must entertain Zenkichi!”  
  
In the background, Hitoyoshi Zenkichi smiled awkwardly as he did not quite understand what was going on. Well, a girl wanted to play with him, and it was the first girl he had met that was his own age, so that was pretty nice. He was used to only playing with his mother.  
  
“Hey, hey! THis is unheard of! Nothing like this hs happened since the founding of Sandbox hospital!”  
  
“A patient barricading herself and taking an employee’s child as a hostage… Did you prepare the tea and juice?”  
  
“The culprit is demanding additional snacks, too! Ku… being so presumptuous…!”  
  
He could hear the voices of any adults in the background, but he recognized none of them. Except his mother’s voice which cut above the others. “Everone, calm down! Please let me negotiate with her one more time! I’ll be ready for it next time, if things go south and I have to do it by force it’ll be easier with just myself!”

Then another voice, the only one in the building that was completely calm. As if entirely dead of emotion. “You shouldn’t do it, Hitomi-sensei. You have a job to process data, don’t you?” Fukuro Matsuda spoke clearly. “Let her be. That way that child will learn that there aren’t any psecial people in this world.”  
  
“You were born to make everyone happy.” Hitoyoshi Zenkichi said that to her when she lost any motivation to live. Hitoyoshi Zenkichi rejected her marriage proposal so easily, when she was able to obtaiin and make anything happen whenever she wanted. Even with her experience with various people due to various circumstances, it was her first time meeting someone like him. So, she of course thought that Hitoyoshi Zenkichi was a special person who could meet her standards.  
  
But it wasn’t like that.  
Not being able to follow through her “playing” the young boy collapsed with a high fever only half a day, like with everyone else. He who she thought was special, he who she thought was definitely special was not special at all, and was but a mere two year old child. The person she met was not a fated person, it was not a fated encounter. In this world nobody was special.  
  
Watching him lie in bed feverish, that girl collapsed to tears. She had never cried before, even when she was an infant. So, two years worth of tears came pouring out in that moment. “Uh...Uuu-uhhhh. Sorry. Zenkichi.” She said through gritted teeth and held back sobs.  
  
Even though he was feverish, he opened his eyes slightly. His new friend was sad after all, he did not want the others around him to be sad. He still had faint memories, of the times when he was much younger that his mother cried from loneliness and ther was nothing he could do about it. “Medaka-chan…?”  
  
“It ends up like this after all… Even if we get along or like each other, even when I feel fat or bonds no one manages to keep up with me…!! Nobody in this world is special…! I-I’m alone.”  
  
“Don’t cry, Medaka-chan. I don’t want to see you cry.” This girl was repsonsible for his present condition, she had caused him all this pain, but the sight of her crying was far worse. He reached out towards her with warm hands. “It’s okay, even if I can’t take the same path as you, even if I lose or get separated from you I’ll soon catch up to you, Medaka-chan.”  
  
There is nobody speial in this world, but there is a person that stood beside her. Thus, since that day, he was to her, to Kurokami Medaka, Hitoyoshi Zenkichi became ordinary, not special.

In the present day, Zenkichi was scratching at the back of his head. “That school was always buzzing you know, something was always going on 24 hours a day nonstop. There was enough problems to fill the whole school with flowers. But… I couldn’t care less about that. No matter how bizarre the incident ay be, the second it happens it seems routine. Pay no attention, let it slide. That’s my credo for living. Yo should relax a little, Hinata.”

“How can you say something like that so easily…” Hinata said, his voice so low it sounded like a growl.  
  
“I guess you’re right. I don’t have a clue about how messed up some of these circumstances really are, Komaeda keeps a lot from me, Kumagawa’s acting weird, and I’ve never even tried to touch Junko… maybe if I had known what was going on with Junko and Kumagawa I would have gone with them that day… Nah, maybe not I’d probably still be sitting on here on this beach with you now. Same difference in the end.”  
  
“Wow, you get over your regrets remarkably fast. Not everybody’s like that, you know.”  
  
“Hmm, I guess… but you’re getting all worked up over nothing, Hinata. You just haven’t noticed it yet. That there’s no difference between the ordinary and the extraordinary. If you ask me, even this situation is ordinary. This seems like the kind of situation that Medaka-chan would get us all into.”  
  
“Is… is danger really that casual to you?”  
  
“Ask me whether I like it or not, and I’m not sure if I could decide.”  
  
“What do you want then? Why do you keep bothing me?”  
  
“Well… I thought we were the same.” Hinata suddenly made an expression that very clearly read ‘not this again’, however Zenkichi merely laughed off his face of total dread. “We’re both ordinary guys you know? To be honest I was kind of relieved when I heard that there was somebody else on the island like me.”  
  
“Of course you can say that. Of course you can say the extraordinary and the ordinary are the same, because they must look that way from your high horse.” Hinata pulled his legs even closer to his chest, and let his chin sink into his knees. He looked like he was hiding. It was not like he liked what he was saying, but he could not stop himself from saying it. “We’re not the same. You saw how ordinary you are, and you tried to improve yourself. You worked hard and became the only person from the reserve course to be promoted to the Ultimate Course. There’s something different inside you, you could work hard when I couldn’t I stayed ordinary, and I’m just a whiny brat throwing a fit about how ordinary I am instead of doing anything to change it. I’m not just dull and lazy, I’m also unbelievably petty. I’m the absolute worst.”  
  
“The absolute worst huh? I don’t know you might get some stiff competition from Junko and Kumagawa.”  
  
“Then I’m third rate at being the worst, that’s typical for me I guess.”  
  
“Hey, Hinata. I’m not as noble as you think I am, and you’re not as lame as you think you are.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Putting me on some pedestal so you can make yourself feel worse isn't going to help you... just... My dad…was just a mediocre guy, and he fell in love with my extraordinary mom. Because of his mediocrity, he ran away from her soon after I was born. It’s not like I was too sad or anything, my mom loved me enough for two parents… but, because of him my mom was lonely. I didn’t want to be like him. I didn’t want to blame my mediocrity, on someone who is extraordinary, and I didn’t want to run away from guys who are extraordinary, or my mediocre self. So you’re right, that belief of mine is just my own self justification but… I don’t think it’s a bad ideal do you?”  
  
“...I… I don’t want to run away, but I don’t know what I should do.”  
  
“Hey, Hinata if you’re going to live anyway. Your ordinary life should be somewhat fun, too. My desire is to just have a cheery, enjoyable life, by Medaka-chan’s side. Is that wrong?”  
  
“Huh? Of course it’s not wrong…”  
  
“Then, just go enjoy yourself with the person you want to enjoy yourself with, don’t overthink things.” In that moment. Zenkichi flashed a bright smile. “Besides, I don’t think you’re anywhere near the worst. You’re just a normal kind of bad. You’re weak like normal, you get scared, like normal, you try hard like normal, you get upset like normal, you like people, you want to protect someone like normal, you’re normal cool!”    
  
Hinata Hajime realized finally why Zenkichi kept bothering him. He tried to smile back, even if his smile would shine nowhere near as bright. Hitoyoshi Zenkichi… just wanted to have normal friends.  
  
Hinata Hajime finally relented. _I get it. I get the difference between us. His heart is full, and mine is empty. But… you can still take something empty and fill it up._ _  
_  
“Though you’re right, you’re not as cool as me, because I’m as cool as the devil himself”  
  
“Shut up, you’re ruining it!”  
  
“It… it’s no good though. Even if I wanted to talk to him, Komaeda only cares about hope.”  
  
“Yeah, so?”  
  
“I don’t have the hope that’s inspired by talents.”  
  
“Hmmm… is that the only kind of hope there is, though? Everybody thinks differently after all, maybe there’s different kinds of hope. Even if you don’t have talent related hope, you could find your own, right?”  
  
“That optimism of yours is going to get annoying eventually.”  
  
“Is it annoying you right now?”  
  
“Not really.”  
  
“Haha, then I’m glad.”  
  


 ♛  


  
Nagito Komaeda was alone.  
  
That last two words in that sentence were probably redundant, because he was always alone. Being alone was central to the existence of Nagito Koameda. His name was synonymous to the word alone.

Suddenly, he was not alone. He felt a presence sneaking up behind him, and turned around his jacket swaying with the movement.  
  
To him talent was like a bright light, and he was sure even if all of his other senses went black he would be able to see it. It was the sole light in this world he wanted to reach towards, after all.

Komaeda put his hand on his chest and bowed politely. “Hello, to what do I owe you, Pekoyama-san?” He was only acting cocky though because he actually had no idea why the other girl was following him around. It was one of those rare moments where he wanted to be alone. Being alone was better than being around others who he would only hurt.

Pekoyama stood in front of him, her tied back silver hair blowing slightly in the breeze. It occurred to him in that moment with silver hair and red eyes that Pekoyama must have been born albino. That would explain why her parents had thrown her out, but even after being thrown out somebody like her was still found and made into something useful. That was the light of talent at work, tragedy happened to everybody, but it was talent that could take that tragedy and make it into something substantive. She had not lived a useless and unattached life after losing her parents like he did, and it was talent that made the difference between the two of them. After a long silence she finally spoke up. “Nagito, I wanted to talk to you…”  
  
Nagito looked down and saw that there was a knife in her hands. He had been cautious, and felt trepidation in dealing with her up until that moment. Then, the light reflected off the knife became a glare in his eyes, and his face twisted into a visceral and carnal smile. It was the exact opposite reaction a normal person would have when getting a glimpse of the silver blade of a knife. “Oh, I see how wonderful! We truly are classmates after all, Pekoyama-san. Finally, you’ve decided to take me up on my offer. I only ask that you don’t stab me right here, if you talk things out with me we can plan a much better murder.”  
  
“...”  
  
“You’ve decided to seize hope even after Kuzuryuu-kun died, right? I’m proud of you, I always believe you could do it and find a reason to keep on living even without him. That’s the power of an Ultimate after all, to overcome adversity, even when any normal person would assume all is lost.”  
  
At that. Pekoyama sighed. “You’re such a hypocrite, Nagito.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Telling me to find the hope to keep living with Fuyuhiko, when you’ve resigned yourself to your own death.” She turned the knife around and offered the back end of the handle to him. “I don’t want to hurt you, this is a peace offering. We’re classmates after all. No, more than that we’re the only members of our class left on this island. Don’t you think we should finally get along?”  
  
“...” Komaeda inhaled suddenly, and that breath through his nose became a chortle, he could not contain himself and his diaphragm continued to vibrate and twist until a few more chuckles escaped, and as he shook more and more, peels of laughter violently tore out of his body, he gripped the side of his head, swaying back and forth, as if laughing this hard was physically painful to him. Then, he stopped just as sudden as he started, his breath stolen away as he looked at her, his eyes deadened of any emotion. “I didn’t know somebody with such a serious nature like yourself could tell such a funny joke.”  
  
“Joke… what are you…?”  
  
“That’s right, I’m the joke that’s what makes it so funny.” Smiles were such a precious commodity to Pekoyama, but Komaeda seemed to spend them recklessly. He smiled again in that moment, his cheeks wrinkling as he smiled so wide with delight. “Do you know how I felt? A no-good person like me, spending time with everybody else. I only ever felt ashamed of myself for being in the presence of such greatness, I never once felt like I was a part of your class. Everybody else would agree too, nobody once saw me as a friend.”  
  
“That… that’s not true.”  
  
“Then, what did you see me as?”  
  
“Someone… unstable… someone who could become a threat to Fuyuhiko.”  
  
“You weren’t wrong,” His head tilted at an odd and painful looking angle. “If it was to make his hope shine all the brighter, then I would have gladly threatened the Ultimate Yakuza.”

“Fuyuhiko thought I was wrong though. He always told me, stop glaring at Nagito. Maybe he’s a little off in the head, and maybe he’s always saying weird shit, but he’s not a bad guy.”  
  
“Wha…?”  
  
“Fuyuhiko, thought he had steeped himself in too much death to get along with the rest of our classmates, that he didn’t deserve to be in their presence. He thought that maybe… at least you and him who had both witnessed so much could get along at the edges even if you couldn’t be in the middle of things with everyone else.”  
  
Getting along? Friends? Komaeda had never sensed this intention once from the other boy. No, he was sure even if Fuyuhiko had approached him seriously, and asked him directly he would never even have seen it. After all, he had no idea what it looked like. He had no idea about the boundary lines between people, why some people became close, and some people did not. He was entirely lacking in self awareness. Even if he was aware of it though, by some miracle if he understood the intentions of another before it was too late, Komaeda would not have let them become friends. After all, Fuyuhiko’s hope was Pekoyama, and Pekoyama’s hope was Fuyuhiko. An ugly person like him did not want to stand in the middle of their beautiful bond, and ruin it with his presence. He could communicate none of thsee complex emotions though, so instead he said the worst thing possible. “What does that matter now, Kuzuryuu-san is dead. I can’t make friends with a corpse, the same way you can’t be lovers with a corpse. Even if he wanted to be friends, I wouldn’t have gained anything from being friends with him, his hope was too weak and it was devoured.”  
  
“Nagito… it’s because you say stuff like that, that the two of you couldn’t become friends. You’re always pushing people away before they even have a chance-”

 _Before they even have a chance to get hurt._ Komaeda thought, but there was no way he could say it. After all, it was like speaking blasphemy in front of his beloved Ultimates. If they knew that he was afraid of hurting even them, the holders of hope, they would probably be offended. They would probably think he thought he was high and mighty, something other than trash. It was illogical, against his own logic at least to think he could hurt anybody that much stronger than him, but fear followed no logic, it was like water, formless, seeping through the cracks in his own logic. His mind raced but he had yet to reach a conclusion, so he just blurted something out again. “Are you going to lecture me on the power of friendship or whatever? Because, I’ve been saying we should all come together since the start, and nobody listened to me then.”  
  
“You’re right.”  
  
“Huh, I’m right?” Komaeda might not have ever heard those words before addressed to him.  
  
“I wasn’t listening to you, we were all shutting you out. That’s wrong, it’s not like I’m any better than you. I’m an assassin after all. So, I’ll listen to you this time. I want to be friends. Let’s get along, for Hinata’s sake.”  
  
“Oh…” Komaeda’s gaze dropped. “So that is what this is about. You know Pekoyama-san, even if you cling to Hinata-kun right now that won’t bring Kuzuryuu-san back. Trying to make him happy in the place of yourself because you’ve given up on happiness is a fool’s errand.” It was because he was lacking in self awareness, that he was always watching others so closely. He thought the things that he noticed were obvious, that if trash like him noticed than any idiot could and therefore it was nothing special. Still, observing others and especially those of talent was a hobby of his, he had not progressed to ultimate skill level but he had been doing it for quite some time. “You won’t be happy, just because Hinata-kun is happy, so quit trying to play wing man to him, okay? It’s really annoying, just because your own relationship didn’t work out quit messing with others.”  
  
He turned away and in that moment Pekoyama reached forward. That was strange. He really did not understand people at all. He really was trash that could not hope to manipulate others, especially those with talent, because in that moment he thought he had said enough to drive her away and yet she still reached out for him. “Nagito. I know you’re bad at being a person, and I know you say things you don’t mean. That’s fine, I’m used to far worse. We can still try. Just because you’re bad at being a person, doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, or that you don’t deserve friends.”  
  
In that moment even a fool, an utter fool like him blinded by the light of a hope that shined too brightly for his unworthy eyes and yet he still kept staring straight at it, even he could tell that Pekoyama was being earnest. That those were her genuine feelings. He could feel warmth coming from her fingertips. However… that warmth would only melt someone like him, entirely unused to the warmth of others. He hit her hand away violently with the back of his own. “You’re wrong about me. It’s not that I’m bad at being a person, I am a bad person. If I were a good person, all of my trauma would have turned me into somebody beautiful and kind like you… but here I am… only capable of being ugly and saying unkind things.”  
  
“Komaeda… it’s not like that. You’re not-”  
  
“Sure, the strong can say that, but not everyone is gifted with a talent like you.”  
  
“A talent? For what? Killing?”  
  
“You’re not like other people. You don’t even know how ungifted people feel, stop trying to sympathize with me. I don’t want your pity, I just wanted to be useful to you.”  
“You said I don’t get how ungifted people feel. Then, do you understand how I feel? I’ve never wanted this gift, not once in my entire life I…” Pekoyama stopped, shocked at what she had said. She clasped her hands over her mouth. _I… I didn’t want to be a killer?_  
  
“See… All I’ve accomplished is upsetting you. Just… go away before I make it any worse.”  
  
Komaeda turned away from her and left her alone. Pekoyama threw the knife she had in the ground, kicking sand up in a rare showing of emotion. She truly did wonder what somebody like Komaeda would think, if he knew that a swordsman of unmatched talent like her considered herself utterly useless.

 

 ♛

 

Hinata pulled the coat Komaeda left behind off of his bed. It was an excuse like any other, to go see the other boy. The moment he stepped out of his cabin though, like an ill omen it suddenly started to rain.  
  
Hinata considered wearing the jacket to keep himself out of the rain. However… if he returned Komaeda’s favorite jacket (or at least one of his he seemed to have multiple copies) wet, that might upset the other boy. Hinata quickly bunled it up and held it close to his chest, using his broad back to keep it out of the rain. He ran while crouched forward, around the perimeter of the first island looking for the other boy.  
  
He finally found him near the gachapon machine, sitting under a palm tree. Komaeda was curled up waiting underneath that tree, but utterly untouched by the rain. It was one of those sudden tropical storms, and the water whipped down on them so hard that it drowned out all other noise.  
  
Komaeda looked up for a moment, seeing Hinata appear in front of him. The boy opened his mouth but no words came out. He held a hand in front of his ear.  
  
Hinata leaned forward, and raised his voice. He was quite good at that at least, for a reserve course student. “What are you doing sitting out here by yourself?”  
  
Komaeda had heard him this tie, but he smiled and held his hand in front of his ear again like he had no heard the other boy.  
  
Hinata grumbled, and got even closer walking out under the rain. His shirt had been entirely soaked through, and Komaeda could see the muscles underneath, his body was well muscled enough that there was a clear divet in his chest, it was shapely enough that he had cleavage. The shirt which clung so tightly to his body, helped illuminate for Komaeda, his pectorals, the strong shape of his collarbone, his abs. Before his eyes could stray down even further, Hinata suddenly appeared a few centimeters away from his face.

“What are you doing sitting out here by yourself? Wait, how have you not gotten wet?”  
  
“The storm suddenly started when I was sitting under this tree. It must be good luck, that the tree’s leaves are just wide enough to keep me out of the rain.” Komaeda said, smiling up at Hinata. Then, a moment too late he realized that in the middle of a storm bad luck like lightning striking might happen. His pupils shook in fear for a moment. Instead of just warning Hinata like a normal person might, he said something nasty instead. “You know, Hinata-kun even if you stand in the rain you won’t drown. If you wanted to commit suicide I’d recommend a better method, though I don’t expect a reserve course student to be smart enough to figure that out on his own.”  
  
Hinata winced from the insult, and then tried to swallow it and all the other bitter things he was feeling right now. “Yeah, haha. You’re so funny. You’re a regular clown, now come on.” Hinata held is hand out to the other boy. “Let’s get out of the rain. There’s no reason for you to be here”  
  
“There’s nothing in particular, and no reason… but…the sound of the bells are particularly loud.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Really, you can’t hear it? It’s been ringing nonstop all day, I find it very distracting. I wonder if… Monokuma is doing it to mess with us, or it’s the daily anouncement’s broken.”  
  
“What are you getting at, Nagito? Come on, let’s get back inside.”  
  
“I’m sorry, nothing I say makes any sense anyway. If I were you I wouldn’t believe any of it.”  
  
“I know, you’re totally right. Honestly, most of the things you say sound like complete nonsense. There’d be no end to my troubles if I actually took you seriously all the time. I probably know that better than anyone.”  
  
“Yes, I would say that’s a fair assessment.”  
  
“Then, I should be prepared for nonstop trouble I guess…”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
Suddenly, Komaeda felt his hand taken by Hinata. He did not resist, he just stepped out into the rain dragged by the other boy. He noticed, Hinata was carrying something underneath his other arm, folding it tight like it was something precious.  
  
When they made it back to his cabin, Hinata suddenly shoved it right in Komaeda’s face. Komaeda saw green, but it was not envy but rather the color of his own jacket. Hinata had come so far to deliver his own jacket back to him? Komaeda’s heart raced, but only for a moment. His thoughts caught up to him in the next moment. What was he thinking? A tidal wave could have struck the island dragging Hinata out to sea, or he could have been struck by lightning, yet, he held hands with the boy all the way through the rain, just because the rain was cold and his hand was warm. He was selfish, so, so, so, selfish for wanting warmth. He should have just sat alone in the rain and waited for it to blow over. He was so incompetent he could not do something as simple as just sitting there and doing nothing.  
  
“You really are presumptuous, Hinata-kun. What makes you think I’d want to spend the night with an idiotic reserve course student.”  
  
“You’re the idiot who was standing out in the rain, and now we’re both wet because of you.” Hinata said, totally missing the inuendo in that sentence.  
  
Komaeda, who understood the inuendo, blushed and looked to the side. “I.. I’m sorry…” He muttered underneath his breath. He had not meant to apologize either, no he needed to drive Hinata away. Was he so incompetent that he could not even be unpleasant and ugly? The one thing he was good at?  
  
Hinata sat against the bed, his shirt still hanging open unbuttoned, and his undershirt soaked entirely through. Komaeda pulled off his jacket and threw it aside. It was too wet anyway, he considered putting on the warm jacket that had been held so closely by Hinata and still probably had his scent on for a moment but then, just put it on the ground much softer. As Hinata toweled himself off, Komaeda walked over and picked up a towel himself reaching for Hinata’s feet. Hinata recoiled in surprise. “What are you doing?”  
  
“I thought I might help you out. You were busy wiping yourself off, anyway.”  
  
“Look, it’s fine you don’t have to do that.”  
  
“I can give you a massage as well. It’s the least I can do to atone for my sins. Cleaning is the one thing I’m good at.”  
  
“Fine. Do what you want…” Hinata had a look of, _I’m not going to fight this weirdo anymore._ It was a look that Komaeda was rather familiar with.  
  
He reached forward with the towel, and rubbed Hinata’s heel. He rubbed it too roughly though, and Hinata grit his teeth, his body tensing up. His foot was much harder that he thought. It was firm against his touch. He ended up squeezing too hard.“Uh… hey!”  
  
“You’ll get used to it. Even if it’s tight at first.” He kept methodically massaging, rubbing all over, in slow circles. His hands traveled down to the heel, which he tenderly caressed with the towel. Then, from the heel he moved up he entire length. Occasionally, he would glance up and see the tremors in Hinata's face, that reacted with every small movement of his fingers. He seemed to be quivering before his touch. Komaeda manipualted his fingers, rubbing more dexterously, making sure every part of Hinata's foot was clean. He thoroughly worked the whole foot.  
  
Hinata looked down and saw that Komaeda’s hair was slicked down by the rain. He picked up a towel as well, and brushed it over the white bangs, that were clinging to his forehead. “Here, you’re still soaked.”  
  
“I’m sorry…” Komaeda apologized again, as he picked up Hinata’s foot, and began to wipe his toes as well. His fingers moved in between the spaces of each of his toes. Hinata averted his eyes, and let it continue until his feet were completely clean. “You really are a kind one, Hinata-kun. You might even have Ultimate Level Kindness, it’s too bad that’s a worthless talent, like being the Ultimate Little Sister. Just a made up title to comfort reserve course trash.”  
  
“Hey… I came all this way to ask you something.”  
  
“Asking something of your betters, how presumptuous of you.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah, I know just hear me out. I heard you out all those other times, didn’t I?”

“Other than Zenkichi, was there ever someone you liked?”  
  
“I have a one sided love for everyone. That’s for the best because of my luck. If they were to love me back I’m sure bad luck would take them. It’s okay if trash like me is lonely anyway. If you think about it, trash is never lonely because it’s surrounded by other trash, that’s what you call a garbage dump.”

“Hey… be honest, I just want to know…”  
  
Komaeda thought about it for a moment. He felt, a terrible pain behind his eye and collapsed forward. He remembered seeing every color, and then standing in the center of them a boy who was pitch black, with red eyes. He remembered dancing, a hand brushing against his hips, and hearing a music whose rhythmn was made of his own heartbeat, and he remembered hoping that the other’s heart was beating just as fast, to he same rhythmn too.  
  
But that memory had no context, it was just a floating bubble and it popped just as quickly as it had been formed and floated up. He had been remembering bits and pieces, but it seemed too good to be true.  
  
“If there was someone… someone.. Who could withstand all my luck, then maybe.” His eyes fluttered, and eyelashes long and girlish blinked away the tears that formed at the corners of his eyes. He stopped himself from crying, because he was unworthy of missing such a memory, of grieving the loss of such a person. “Anyone… who could withstand all my luck shouldn’t get tied down by trash like me anyway. It’s okay if I get hurt, or Kumagawa-kun gets hurt but…”  
  
“I’m reserve course too, what about me.”

On a sandess  disappeared on his face and whatever beauty there was in such a melancholic expression twisted away and was ruined by the appearance of his manic smile. “Of course, Hinata-kun! I knew you’d understand! We are meant to be stepping stones for the talented. Just think! Even someone like me could be important! Can be a source of hope!”  
  
“Yes…. Exactly.”  
  
“Huh? What?” _No, Hinata. You’re supposed to disagree with me when I’m like that, when I sound crazy. I don’t want you to become a stepping stone._ “But you know, Kumagawa-kun is somebody who strikes despair into the heart of others and could be overcome as an enemy, and I’m someone who wants to sacrifice myself for hope. You’re worse than both of us, an average person like you can’t amount to anything, you’re not even worth becoming a stepping stone.”  
  
“I don’t want to become a stepping stone?”  
  
“Huh? What?” Komaeda repeated again, as caught off guard as before.  
  
“I want to become your hope.”  
  
At that, Komaeda laughed in his face. “Hahahahahaahahahahaha! The Reserve Course student is playing at being important again! You really think somebody like you deserves to be needed by everybody? To be needed by the talented?”  
  
“I don’t want to be needed by everyone, not anymore. I just want to be needed by you.”  
  
“St.. stop it. Hope can’t come from somebody with no talent at all.”  
  
“Maybe your definition of hope, but mine’s different! If your hope is talent, then my hope means… never giving up!”  
  
“Hinata-kun, you’ve given up on me several times. You’ve given up on a lot of things, don’t try to sound dramatic just to sound important, I thought Kumagawa-kun was the one who was delusional about shonen manga.”  
  
“I know I’ve given up, but I always come back right? I want to keep listening, I want to keep trying. I want to always be by your side.”  
  
“Why? You have no good reason why you would want that. You’re just… you’re just deluding yourself into self importance again… but you’re boring, a boring, boring, boring, nobody! If I was by your side, it’d be boring!”  
  
“So, I’m sure, even living a boring normal life with me by your side, we’d be able to have fun so as long as we were together.”

“Why… why do you think that?”  
  
“Because I…” Hinata smiled at Komaeda. A normal smile, with no grand or special meaning to it. It was not bright like Zenkichi’s, it was not a smile of determination in the face of pain like Kuamgawa’s. “I love you, even if I were to be reincarnated I would still love you, I think…”  
  
“...”  
  
“Ah, but it’s too bad because you can’t love a person without talent right? So I guess this is my one sided love.”  
  
At that moment, all weight gave out in Komaeda’s body and he fell into Hinata’s chest. The words he most wanted to hear, at the time he least wanted to hear them. He had no energy left in him, he could not say anything in response. He just wanted to keep nestled in something warm, but he knew it would not last forever.  
  
"It won't work... we're too different."  
  
"But, we're the same aren't we? You're both always saying so. We both sit at the edge of things, watching others."  
  
"We're still too different, we're jagged pieces, we'll cut ourselves on our differences."  
  
"It doesn't have to be that way. Nagito. The two of us could make one whole. Black and white, don't you think those colors complement each other a little bit?"   
  
"... I suppose a reserve course student would not know this, but black and white are not considered colors."   
  
"Mmmm..."   
  
"But perhaps... they would look nice together."  His eyes suddenly tightened, "No, Hinata-kun we can't. You'll die if you're around me."  
  
"You're always dying anyway aren't you? No matter what you'll probably only have a few years left, don't you think I'm afraid of the same thing?"  
  
"Then what..."  
  
"Let's be afraid together."  
  
"Together, together, together, how clingy an you get? You're just like a tick."  
  
"That's fine, even a parasitic relationship would be fine."  
  
Komaeda trembled. No mater how much he tried, he could not stop himself anymore. Hinata's warmth was too much for him. He wrapped his arms around the other boy fully, refusing to let go. He really was selfish, he was the worst. Yet, Hinata-kun smiled at him in that moment, because he was kind. He was an unbelievably kind fool, just like Kumagawa-kun. He must have tricked him somehow. He must be taking advantage of this foolish kindness. That was it, somebody slimy, slithering and scheming like him had simply tricked Hinata-kun into liking him. Those explanations continued to coil until they tightened around his heart like a snake.   
  
"I'm sorry..." Komaeda muttered again. He would have to do something drastic soon, to make up for this sin.   
  
"I'm also sorry..."   
  
"What are you sorry about?"  
  
"I'm sorry I'm not the hope you're looking for..." Hinata admitted pathetically.  
  
_In his heart he started to wish.  
__A vain and selfish wish.  
__Whoever it was that Hinata had met in the past.  
__That person who had enough hope, who was strong enough to withstand his luck.  
__Hinata wished he had been that person._


	36. Smile at Despair in the Name of Laughter (8 - Non Fiction x All Fiction)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I read Kizumonogatari yesterday it was a pretty good book, there's a Kizu reference this chapter.

_“I can do more than that…” Ajimu leaned in then, wrapped her arm around the side of Junko’s face and gently leading her to lean on her. Even though she hated this person with every fibre of her being, Junko found her aura to be surprisingly relaxing. “I’m sorry for bullying you so much. It’s just… we’re like totally the same. We’re both driven by our boredom. You act so upset that Kumagawa and I showed up and threw off all your plans but do you know how your original story ended? You looked up at that big weight about to crush you and you though. ‘Ah… despair is.. Kind of boring now…’ and then splat! So, isn’t this much better?”_

_“Sh-shut up.” She could never find despair boring. Despair was the big old mystery box. It was the only thing that could save her from being bored out of her skull._

_Ajimu’s playful voice melted away entirely. The voice she spoke with, sounded compeltely and utterly bored. “Listen, you’re trying to find a reason to live in a world of violence and bloodshed. You won’t find it. Some part of you must know that. That’s why you want to die in the middle of it, rather than reach the end of your quest and come up empty. You’re already empty though, nothing in the world can fill you up. You will wander the darkness for eternity. Then, one day you’ll look down at your hands and realize, that you’ve become exactly like me. Somebody bored with both hope and despair."_

One day, you’ll look down at your hands and realize, that you’ve become exactly like me. That was the grim prophecy that Ajimu Najimi had given Enoshima Junko. Being bored might not have sounded like the end of the world, unless you were a petty girl willing to end the world to end your boredom.

 _Hope! Despair! Hope! Despair!_ A petty argument that turned back and forth forever in the girl’s head, but as long as it was turning, she would not remain completely still, she would not give way to entropy.  
  
She was vague in self awareness in herself, as a person, with thoughts, feelings, emotions, because she did not experience those at the same intensity everyone else did. She either felt nothing at all, or she had to force herself to feel it in extremes. The fact that people felt emotions naturally, that they could smile when they were happy, throw fits when they were angry, and cry when they were sad seemed laughable to her. That it was not all one extended performance. However, she at least was aware of the type of character she was,  she knew that she was a villain with an unreasonable motivation, the kind a writer would claim has no backstory in an attempt to make her seem more like an evil force of nature than a person. In other words, she knew what she was, a selfish, empty girl, and she also knew that her problems were just as petty as she was. Which is why she thought it would be so unreasonable to foist it upon her companion.

Destroying the world was whatever, meh, but if she was slightly inconsiderate to Misogi and forced her problems on him that would be the true point of no return for her.  Especially in the face of his real problems, several of which were caused by her.That was the reasoning of an entirely unreasonable individual.

Perhaps it was just her need to control everything. She wanted to destroy Misogi on her own, deliberately, in the most satisfying way possible at the very end. If he suddenly disappeared, if he toppled earlier than expected because she piled on one straw too many, if he self destructed on his own, she would not be feeling all she could feel to him, and it would be a disservice to all of the struggles they had undergone until this point to get close.. She needed to do it with her own hands, she needed to be in control, she needed her blood on his hands.

  
He was hers, after all. It was unbelievably twisted, and possessive, but that was the only way she could describe her affection for him. Looking at his sleeping body in bed next to her, thinking over and over again, _he is mine, he is mine, he is mine, he is mine, he is mine, he is mine._ It was an extreme, it was unhealthy, but she could only feel something when she pushed herself to these extremes. She would rather feel that, then nothing at all, she would rather dig her claws into him then being unable to touch him.  
  
That was just her own selfish reasoning. She did not consider how Kumagawa felt about any of this. Until now at least. The fact that he was weighing on her mind or a part of her decision making at all was something new at least, usually people moved so predictably to her that she did not consider their individual feelings because regardless of what they felt, she could get them to move in any way she wished. Kumagawa deviated slightly from this pattern, so she wondered what he was to her now.

Anyway, the reason for the length of this preamble was that Enoshima Junko somehow managed to overthink everything. Even when she was lying half asleep in bed looking at Misogi next to her.  
  
However this was slightly different.  
Because at the moment the argues going back and forth in her head were not.

 _Hope! Despair! Hope! Despair!_    
But rather.  
_Real! Fake! Real! Fake!  
_  
As she gazed upon his sleeping form, she had absolutely no idea if the boy in front of her even really existed at all. She had woken up much earlier than him, and propped her head up on her elbow to relax and look at him from an angle.

All this time she had been thinking, while he just slept there, innocently and foolishly letting his guard down around her, and looking like a foolish dog sleeping without a care in the world.  
  
That boy was abnormal to say the least. No, calling him abnormal was a disservice to the irrationality that was his existence. He was like a gltich that appeared in her pre programmed and perfectly designed world, and somehow inverted everything in the coding. Now instead of the mastermind in a killing game she was a participant. Instead of holding all the cards, the only card she had in her hand was a fickle joker, her Misogi.  
  
He suddenly appeared before her, and smashed her world. If he wanted, he could have been the hero that screwed her down to the wall ending her as the perfect villain. That would have been an ending where they were both happy.

  
Instead of choosing an ending where they both could be happy, he chose one where they were  both miserable together, and their existence became inextricably tied to one another. That was like him, _how very like him._  
  
He reached his hand out to her, instead of letting her fall even though she was somehow who had been born to fall.  
  
There was a boy in the past who tried to do this, to save her, to protect her, out of genuine love too, and by her hand he was driven absolutely insane until he hated what he lived and died drowngin in his own misery.  
  
He regretted ever reaching out to her.  
She did not blame him, it was the only human response after all.  
Any person would react that way to her, it was realistic.  
  
Yet Kumagawa did not.  
He seemed oddly suited to being by her side, oddly tolerable to her despair, oddly good at withstanding her whims.  
Which made her begin to doubt that Kumagawa was even real to begin with.  
No human being could have lasted this long beside her.  
Because she was not human after all.  
She was despair itself.  
She was an entity nobody could sympathize with and remain human, yes she still thought that.

Which is why when she read in that file that Kumagawa never existed to begin with, all of the things she thought as coincidences and all of the conveniences of the story of how they met leading up until this point clicked together in her mind in an instant.

 _Ah._ _  
_

She made a small noise of acknowledgement like that, it was an entirely undramatic response to suddenly being told that everything she thought she knew was a lie. If there was an audience watching she was sorry for disappointing them, it’s just that her emotions had never been particularly dynamic unless she was forcing them to be or putting on a performance, she was by nature, a stagnant, flat character driven only by her own emptiness.

She had reread the files given to her by Monokuma several times since then, and there were far more details than just the initial support.

 _In the case of emergency infiltration of the neo world program, the KumagawAI will act as a traitor to the rest of the group in the service of the future foundation, constantly feeding us with updates and reports.  
_ _He will be connected with Aijimu to know what is happening ahead of time.  
_ _He will be able to endure lots of stress because he is not human.  
He will not be aware he is human and will be given falsified memories of his own.   
The plan is to make somebody resembling Enoshima Junko made that way by circumstances, like Komaeda Nagito. _

All of these notes were added later onto the original file, by a different name. A man named Fukuro Matsuda. She recognized his name from the time her and Kurokami were in the library. Kurokami told her that name belonged to a man who experimented in artificial memories and talent.  At that time even though they read through all of the books together, there was not a single hint to the nature of jabberwock island, just some old study materials, and she also found several papers that were published by Yasuke Matsuda on the nature of memories one of those studies she had been a test subject for.  
  
A hint?  
  
There was one more thing that proved her memories were falsified.  
The existence of the Kamakura Project.  
A name that she did not recognize or remember until now. In her memory of events, she had taken down Hope’s Peak with only herself and her sister, the despair that infiltrated his academy in the form of two sisters, despair sisters.

Yet, the second part of the file detailed this.  
What was surely meant to be the second major twist of the mastermind’s scenario.

 _Kamakura Project_ _  
_ _Project Significance_ _  
_ _By completion phase of the project, the talentless subject will have gained the insurmountable ability to master all known talent. The subject will fully embody the ideals of Hope’s Peak Academy, and will become humanity’s one true redemption, Super High School Level Hope. The Project’s purpose is to create a being that embodies the long-held beliefs of Hope’s Peak Academy, as well as the earnest wishes of the Academy’s founder, Izuru Kamakura, to create a talent that will change the world itself. For such reasons, the Project must reach completion by any means necessary._ _  
_

_Subject Part 2 Hinata’s History_ _  
_ _From an early age, the subject admired Hope’s Peak and the admirable aspiration to attend as a student. Despite having no remarkable qualities of their own, they fruitlessly searched for talent while attending as a Reserve student. However, he was unable to find a talent of his own and was close to  giving up on that dream._ _  
_ _  
_ _Kamakura Project Consent Form_ _  
_ _By participating in this Project, I consent to the possible medical, or psychological precautions or treatments with the understanding that these measures are taken with the Project’s end goal in mind._ _  
_ _I understand that the school will not be liable for said actions, and by accepting this participation in the Project I am unable to sue for unsatisfactory treatment that may result in irreversible changes._ _  
_ _  
_ _I will accept any and all changes to my personality, spirit, and body._

There it was plain to see. This existence was much easier for her to accept, that Hope’s Peak engineered the Deus ex Machina that would become their own downfall. Yet, she could not rationalize the existence of her Misogi, she could not believe there was any real person who could come to sympathize with her to this extent.  
  
He had to be a convenient fiction.  
A story told to a lonely girl who believed there was nobody else in the world that could see the world the same way she did, that could gaze at the same sky with her.  
  
That was the logical conclusion, and yet she wanted him to be real. Her desires were illogical,. and unreasonable, she did not understand why she suddenly preferred a world where she had lived and unbelievable people like Kumagawa Misogi and Ajimu Najimi existed against all reason denying her what she wanted, to a world where she died and had gotten what she wanted with the world ending.  
  
She wanted to believe that what was shared between her and Misogi was real. She wanted the genuine thing, not an artifice, a mask, or a performance. _How lame..._ She thought. Even if she wanted to believe though, with all the faith of Fox Mulder, she knew Kumagawa was keeping a secret from her.  
  
Finally hiding the file underneath her pillow and shifting back in the bed to look a Misogi again.  
  
Only to notice he was now gone from the place he was supposed to be next to her. Gone, like like he never existed in the first place, her mind started racing with the worst conclusions possible while her heart pounded in her ears. She sat up suddenly like waking from a bad nightmare.  
  
Then she saw him, standing in the front of the bed stretching. He looked like he had just woken up, so he did not notice that he had dragged the blankets around him, and they were wrapped around him framing him, and he did not notice either that gravity dragged the blankets down away from him. They unintentionally revealed his  plain white boxers. The ones he slept in.

“Ah.”  
  
Without wanting to, she let out a gasp.  
Normally, he would put pants on by now but he had stopped to stretch, and both of his hands were behind his back. It looked as if he was putting on a slightly cool pose to show off with his arms wrapped behind his head. Even though he had no idea she was awake or watching. That’s what it looked like.  
  
That was the situation when she saw his boxers.  
  
They were completely visible to her.

Just like Kumagawa, it was by no means something flashy - it was plain white boxers, utterly unremakrable, however it was such an elegant simplicity that her eye was captivated and wasn’t allowed to turn away.  
  
It was a clean pure white.  
  
It wasn’t suggestive at all, in fact on him the boxers were quite large and loose fitting, with thick fabric - absolutely nothing lascivious, and in that regard one could say it lacked sexiness.  
  
However, she could feel the dazzling radiance of that extreme whiteness.  
  
It was plain and yet not plain at all. She could trace the shape of where his waist became his wips, all the way down to his pelvis, and then to where his thighs continued on either side. The subtle outline left a lot to the imagination in its bagginess and imagine she did. The elastic waistband clinging tightly to his waist, furthered the impression of it all.  
  
Furthermore, right above that waistband, his abdomen and quite a lovely scar was visible. When he walked around like this, the traumas written all over his body became unbecomingly exposed. You could even see  scars of his lower back running down into the forbidden place which was oscure by his underwear. She never thought the waistband of boxers could be so lascivious until now.  
  
The pure white of the underwear, and, as if boasting a competition with the ugly purples, faded reds, and deep blues of the scars painted all around his body, on his back and emaciated thighs, stood out all the more painful looking as if they were drawn on a blank canvas to emphasize it, that highlighted an elegant work of art.  
  
Conisdering his pose with his hands wrapped behind his head, it seemed as if he was showing off in front of her - that was the end result of him. All of the suffering in this life, it was for the sake of this one beautiful moment for her to witness.  
  
He.  
  
Kumagawa Misogi turned around suddenly. He had not even realized she was awake yet, and for a moment he was dumbfounded.  
  
She had thought she was gazing at him for awhile, but in fact all of that narration happened in the space of about a second. But, it felt like it was an hour. She felt like she was seeing a hallucination where it was her life coming to an end. She was not exaggerating in any way. She experienced a whole lifetime in that moment.  
  
To the point where the surface of her eyeballs, and the inside of her mouth had dried out.  
That was how much of an impact it was.  
A boy’s boxers.

“..................”  
In fact.

How long did she go on describing a boy’s boxers?  
She really did have to overthink and overanalyze every single little detail, she could not just think ‘loser boy cute’ she had to launch into an entire monologue about it.  
  
Kumagawa was already sitting on the edge of the bed now tilting his head to the side looking clueless, but a slightly different look of cluelessness then the fool’s mask he was always wearing. 『Junko your face...』

“What’s wrong with my beautiful face? People have told me I’m cuter than a hundred chihahuas combined.”

『Why is your face staring at me with such a ravenous look. I feel like I’m about to be devoured. What are you even looking at that intensely?』  
  
“N-nothing.”  Suddenly caught unawares, when she was dragged forcefully out of her head and into the room with Kumagawa. He had this strange quality that kept her grounded in the moment instead of letting her float off stage to observe the events from afar. That was it, that was the reason she stuttered in this moment because she was unused to being this close to the stage, it had nothing to do with her being a teenage girl embarrassed about having slightly dirty thoughts.

『Am I imagining or does it feel like you’ve been composing in your head a careful description of my boxers that spanned about six hundred words or so. 』  
  
“It is, it is, it’s all just your imagination. Up until now I have been describing a quite emotional, beautiful scenery.”  
  
This was not a lie, though subtly so.  
  
『Junko… we’re indoors 』

“...”  
  
Oh no! Her careful and well crafted lie had been exposed, and her scheme revealed. She hoped he felt pride for cornering someone as cunning as her in her own lie. She hoped he would remember this moment for the rest of his life.

『Anyway, I was going to wake you up anyway because you need to drink water. It’s not that I don’t trust you to be responsible it’s just that… no wait that’s exactly it.』  
  
He forgot about it immediately! Then, he changed the subject like it was no big deal. How shameless of a man was he?

“We have been waiting! Waiting so very long for peasants like you to appear! If you swear fealty to us, we will reward you with half of the entire world! We’ve drawn up the deed already! We will grant you honor, status, and some of our home cooking! Have you made your choice? Will you serve under us?”  She said, suddenly busint a pose with her hands on her hips while still sitting there in bed her shirt unbutonned for sleep and hanging half off of her.

 **> Okay** **  
** **> No thanks**

『Was that a dragon quest reference?』  
  
“Oh, did you think I  was being serious I was just messing with you, I’ve been stuck with this audience of one for so long, even I’m not sure what kind of role I’m supposed to play- Wait, that wasn’t one of the options!”

『You’re such a dork. Don’t you think it’s too early to be breaking out your haughty personality?』Kumagawa said, with a fond sigh.  
  
“Hey, don’t fond so sighly like this is just one of my quirks that you’ve grown used to.”  
  
To annoy her, Kumagawa sighed a second time deliberately drawing it out with affection for her.

“You’re supposed to be thrown off guard and confused by my personality switching, don’t treat it like it’s just some shallow gimmick.”

『Oh, don’t worry Junko it’s a very marketable and cute character quirk of yours, I’m sure it’d be confusing for anybody else but I don’t react the same way as most people because I’m used to being in a state of constant confusion.』  
  
“Don’t talk down to me like you’re reassuring me.”

『Ehhh, what’s wrong with reassuring you?』  
  
“Being reassured by an existence like yourself is beneath me.”

『Huh? I’m beneath you? That’s fine I guess, I’ll just use my position to uplift you then.』  
  
He really was infuriating. Refusing to be insulted by her, who could throw anybody into despair with mere words. No mater what she threw at him, he always bounced back. Like they were comedy partners, like they were friends, like they were meant for each other.  
  
She thought two contradicting things, that it was too good to be true and she wanted it to be true.   
  
So, her mind which figured out everything instantly could not decide if the twist regarding Kumagawa’s existence was a real twist, or a fake one set up by the mastermind. She was biased towards the latter, but logical to a fault.  
  
Ajimu’s prophecy had come true for her in the worst way possible, she did not know if what was in front of her and the reality she remembered was real or fake. She was just like that annoying non-human that believed her life was something that could only exist in fiction.  
  
Annoyed, she snatched away the water bottle from Misogi’s hand and turned it back, chugging he whole thing in one go. Kumagawa tilted his head, misreading the source of her annoyance.

『I’m sorry there’s no food… it’s my fault, so I’ll apologize...』  
  
It was her fault. She had insisted that they both eat the food Kumagawa smuggled in, and thus their supply disappeared twice as fast. It had been gone for a few days.  
  
“It’s fine,” She said abruptly as she wiped her mouth. “I’m  model, so I’m used to starving myself anyway.”

『That’s an insensitive thing to joke about, Junko!』  
  
“Considering the pitch black humor of this series about children murdering each other, it’s odd that’s where you choose to draw the line.” Her stomach spoke then without permission, interrupting their banter. How impudent! They were just getting their momentum going.

『...I still feel bad.』

“That’s inevitable. This is mankind’s fate. The thread of human hope is spun with the flax of sorrow.”

『Ah… how suddenly philosophical and insightful… it’s relaxed my soul in this early morning WAIT ARE YOU JUST QUOTING EVANGELION AT ME?』  
  
“I would never make an evangelion reference in a serious moment like this.”  
_I had told a bald faced lie. If he ever knew that I made a reference to Evangelion 2.0 during the prototype killing game by having Mukuro sing a song from that movie he might call me a nerd again and I won’t be able to handle that. Luckily, the flawless me tells flawless lies._

『Hm, seems like a lie.』

  
“It’s not my fault that I have to lie, the truth is just so fucking boring!” She shouted in his face in a high pitched voice suddenly her personality shifting. Kumagwa simply stared at her unblinking, not bothered by the sudden shift. She shifted again, “Well, it’s no big deal Misogi. If you’ve sinned, then all you need to do is make up for it.” She leaned against him suddenly, pressing her chest against his. Her slender, perfectly plump and soft body, against his bony, thin, emaciated one.

『W-what do I have to do?』His eyes trembled, and she felt his body shiver against hers  
  
“Let me devour you.”

『Huh?』  
  
She leaned forward and kissed his dumb mouth, that was hanging open guileless as usual. It was convenient for her that his mouth was already open, as it allowed her to slide her tongue and get a taste of him better. She kept going until she was satisfied, and then she drew back.  
  
『How was that devouring me?』He said, staring at her blankly.  
  
The fact that he was not reacting to her bothered her slightly, so she decided to make it a game. “It’s cannibalism, we’re trying to eat each other.” She leaned forward, peppering kisses on his lips, and in between she would suddenly shout. “Help! Help! I’m stuck alone in this funhouse with a boy whose trying to eat me!” Then, she would giggle, and kiss him again bringing her fingers  to the slender curves of both sides of his jaw to hold him into place. Her nails dug in so he could not escape.

『That’s not very fair Junko, when you’re the one who always bites.』  
  
“That’s called fighting back against a vicious man eating predator. Self defense.” She said as she playfully bit at his lower lip, and tilted her head just so to tug on it. Then, suddenly she drew back again pushing him away by the chest and climbing out of bed after getting him so worked up. “Alright, bored of that now, let’s start our day.”

『Wait. Wait. Let me have a taste.』  
  
“Listen buddy there can only be one man eater in this couple, and I’m it.”

『Junko, please I’m so hungry. 』  
  
“It’s too late, come on we’ve got to escape this place and save everyone, there’s a plot we have to investigate and develop. This deep character exploration and self reflection in confined spaces can’t last forever?”

『You only care about those things when they’re convenient to you. 』  
  
“That’s because the entire world is built in my convenience.” She said winking at him, before grabbing his hand and dragging him out of bed. “Now put some pants on, serf. You dare distrace my queenly presence with your plain white boxers?”

『And now we’re back to this. It seems like we spend too much calories running around in circles for two people who are supposed to be starving.』Kumagawa said, but he went along with her antics anyway contradicting herself.  
  
Her statement might turn out to be irony later. This world may really have been designed as a false memory that was entirely too convenient to her, a convenient scenario where tragedy never happened and everyone lived. Despite thinking about it all morning, she made no progress in deciding at all. It would probably bother her for the rest of the day, and the day after that, as she was one who was never satisfied and never really made up her mind.  
  
So she clung tighter to Kumagawa’s extended hand, probably tighter than she needed to, digging her nails into the flesh of his hand.

 

♛

 

Those two children tried to kill time, while they waited for the other children to kill each other so they could be free. Enoshima Junko sat leaning against a wall, watching her boyfriend struggle with an entire refrigerator.

『Junko, if you’re going to demand that I reorganized this place at least once a day you could at least help me. 』

“But Misogi, if I exert myself too much I’ll burn too much calories and get bored even quicker.”

『Then we shouldn’t be moving things around!』

“But Misogi, being bored burns calories too. How do you think I manage to stay so thin, I just get bored so easily.”

『Since when did you become so concerned about your health anyway?』

  
“Well, I just know that the two of us have been burning a lot of calories doing certain activities together at night time. I thought I should conserve my energy for then, but if you wanted me to help so bad I guess we can stop our nightly activities.”

『Haha, what? No, my princess you don’t need to lift a finger now where did you need me to move this fridge again!? Please allow me to move this fridge for you! I live to move this fridge for you!』Kumagawa continued to laugh awkwardly, before finally hefting the fridge up against a wall.  『Do you think there’s food in here? 』  
  
“Nope, I checked it’s just poison. Feel free to swallow it if you want though, Misogi helping me would be the first useful thing you did in your life.”

『If that’s the case then I’d rather continue being useless if it allows me to live. We did poison for the last murder, haven’t you gotten bored of that already? 』  
  
“Well if something repeats twice in this story it’s probably just a call back.” Junko said, before standing up once more and then leaned against Kumagawa. “Ugh, moving that fridge was so hard, I’m so tired I can barely stand up.”

『You didn’t do anything.』  
  
“I had to talk with you, this conversation is tiresome.”

『I should be the tired one!』  
  
“Man, you guys are already starting to brag about how unhealthy you are…” Monokuma appeared suddenly behind them, holding his paws on his face blushing on one side of his innocent face while his wicked face gave an evil smile.  
  
“Monokuma-sensei! What a good sensei, he’s concerned about our health.”

『He’s the one who locked us in here you know. What are you going to make us do this time? 』  
  
“I just want everyone to be healthy again.”

『...』

“...”

『What are you waiting for? 』  
  
“Well usually this is the part where Hinata repeats the last word I said in the form of a question back at me, but he’s not here so now it’s your turn to be backup dumbass River Bear.”

『Why am I always second place at everything… Fine, Healthy?』  
  
“You’re losing your drive because you’re burning rubber downt he Unhealthy Highway, right? I’m offering a service so you can all feel healthy again. Soooo, from this day forward, I’d like you to make Monokuma Tai Chi part of your daily routine every morning. All right, start the music!”  
  
“Fuoooooooooooooooooooooo.” Monokuma said striking a pose in front of all of them.

『Huh, where is that music coming from?』  
  
“It’s the game’s soudntrack, duh!” Junko said, pushing herself ahead of Kumagawa as she started to imitate the pose that Monokuma struck. “For a killing game this game has a surprisingly good soundtrack you know.”

“Making optimal use… of earth’s gravity… and release yourself… from the tension of your conscious self…Control your breathing… slowly and softly… move as if you’re drawing a circle…Naurally… Just as you are… relax your body and mind...”  
  
Kumagawa tried to strike the same pose, but as they shifted to one that required balancing on one leg, he lost the challenge to balance and fell back instead.  
  
Junko watched him fail from behind giggling. She listened to Monokuma, because he really did want the best for them after all he was so considerate even setting up this killing game so they would not get bored. However, as she tried to focus relaxing her body and mind, and releasing herself from her conscious self was all but impossible for her brain.

 _Kumagawa can’t exist. Why? Because nobody in their right mind would pursue me to this extent. Would most people be able to keep liking someone… who doesn’t like them back?_ _  
_ _  
_ _The answer would be a blatant no for most people. Their feelings would twist, and they would pick one of the following route options._ _  
_ _  
_ _A) Lawful  route, give up and distance themselves._ _  
_ _B) Neutral route, dislike the other person proportionately._ _  
_ _C) Chaos route, maybe even stalk them._ _  
_ _  
_ _They would do one of the above._ _  
_ _Liking somebody that just means…_ _  
_ _Wanting somebody to draw close enough to see you, to find value in yourself, it’s treasuring your own twisted self value._ _  
_ _Valuing them always comes secondary after all._ _  
_ _Because you can only experience the world as yourself, through your own head._ _  
_ _You can only prioritize yourself in the end, you can’t share with others._ _  
_ _He doesn’t exist._ _  
_ _Misogi._ _  
_ _Like blind and total unconditional love and acceptance, I don’t think you ever existed at all._ _  
_

_No, that’s just talking about a normal relationship._ _  
_ _He should have been dead by now._ _  
_ _I should have gotten bored._ _  
_ _If neither of those things happened, then Misogi must be special._ _  
_ _I want him to be special._ _  
_ _Because, he’s special to me after all._

 _But what are the odds, after spending my entire life alone stomping over others._ _  
_ _Some special person drops out of nowhere who can understand me._ _  
_ _It’s impossible, I’m the only special existence in this world._ _  
_ _I’m the only one who was born into this world and cried tears of despair since the moment I was born._ _  
_ _Besides… Misogi only wanting to be around me because he’s withstood enough trauma._ _  
_ _So he feels like he has to put up with me._ _  
_ _Like an obligation._ _  
_ _That’s no good either._ _  
_ _Tch, no matter how much I think about this I’m no satisfied. It’s so hard being such an unreasonable bitch, it’s supposed to be harder on everybody else than it is on me though._ _  
_

That thought dizzied her, worse than her hunger and the Monokuma Taichi so just as suddenly as she had started she stormed off, grabbing Misogi by the hand.  
  
“W-where are you going Young Lady, this is mandatory!”  
  
“Bored now!”  
  
“Getting bored? What kind of person just gets bored so easily like that to the point of self destruction?” That bear said rather hypocritically.  
  
Junko could not hear him anymore though, as she had already disappeared with Misogi to another side of the building.

 

♛

 

“Yeah, yeah, that’s the right stance. Buuuuut, you have to swing the bat.”  
  
The two of them looking over several of the weapons they had dragged out of the final dead room in order to satisfy their boredom, were not playing an improvised version of baseball. Kumagawa had never actually successfully managed to hit a ball in a baseball game swayed back and forth and as he took the stance he hesitated.

『...Umm...Junko...』He stopped and looked at his bat. Suddenly, he was ambushed from behind, and she grabbed him, sliding her arms up against his. He squeaked like one of those toys that dogs chewed on and spat out, an apt metaphor. She smiled, her hair falling over one of her eyes as she leaned her chin over his shoulder. Slowly from behind, she guided his hands wrapping himself around him and took a few practice swings.

  
“HIt it into the sky don’t hold back. Before he swings a real slugger imagines an arc inside his heart. You know, like a character arc.”

『Junko, they’re not really clever metaphors if you explain the meaning right afterwards.』  
  
“Awe, but talking meta is so fun.”

『I know but sometimes we have to talk like normal, otherwise we’re unbelievable as people..』

 _Tch._ _  
_ _Why did he have to say that._ _  
_ _Of course I exist, I’m the logical one._ _  
_ _Kumagawa’s the illogical one?_ _  
_ _Why?_ _  
_ _Because he knows everything is pointless, but he keeps trying anyway._ _  
_ _He never gives up._ _  
_ _And he never gives up on me._ _  
_ _That kind of person shouldn’t exist._ _  
_ _…_ _  
_ _But that’s what I like about him isn’t it?_ _  
_ _Even though everything’s pointless, he always looks like he’s having so much fun._ _  
_ _  
_ She let go of him suddenly as if that thought was too close for her, and then backed away. “Alright, I’m going to pitch the ball.”

『Junko, that’s why I hesitated in the first place. I don't get what the point of this is.』  
  
“You can’t be afraid to swing the bat.”

『It’s not the bat, it’s the ball. So, you just throw that glass bottle at me and I swing and break it? That seems kind of dangerous.』  
  
“Wow, he’s afraid of a glass bottle of poison The Misogi that I know would say ‘tasting any poison won’t be enough to kill me because I’m a man who will never die.”  
  
『I’m a man who would never get away with saying a line that cool.』  
  
“But you’re supposed to try to look cool for me. Come on show off in front of the girl you like.”

『Tch, fine. Batter up.』Junko threw the bottle in the air, and Kumagawa swung smashing it. She threw another one in the air, and Kumagawa swung again.   
  
"Pull."  
  
Smash.  
  
"Pull."  
  
Smash. 

『I don't really get what the point of this is.』  
  
"Everything ultimately is pointless, Misogi."  
  
『Yeah, I get that but what's fun about this?』  
  
"Well breaking things... is fun... because it makes a fun noise and it goes like smash? And it's easier than building things anyway." 

『Oh, good point.』  
  
"Pull."   
  
Smash.   
  
However, more often than not Kumagawa missed and the bottle just smashed on the floor.   
  
Junko had forgotten entirely about the fun of breaking things. She was just watching Kumagawa again, even though she was trying to distract herself from him. He always somehow turned into her biggest distraction. Even more fun than smashing things to bits. 

  
_He’s not that cool._ _  
_ _Or particularly stylish._ _  
_ _That’s why he has to be fake right._ _  
_ _There’s no way I’d care for a person beyond those superficial qualities._ _  
_ _Because I’m unable to feel genuine things._ _  
_ _I’ve always sought some kind of distraction_ _  
_ _To distract myself from my own emptiness.  
  
_ "Upupupupuppupupu."

『What are you laughing at?』  
  
"You."

『Oh, I guess that's fair.』

As she was laughing at him, there was a laugh she could hear in the back of her own head.  
She was sure she could hear the mastermind laughing at her.  
She needed to find a better distraction, anything to stop herself from thinking.

♛

  
The two of them had headed to Monokuma’s library. They were sitting together on the floor with a table between them. On one end of the table several books were open, and Misogi was studying, and on the other end Junko was doodling a picture of Monokuma in her open notebook.  
  
Technically, Junko was helping Kumagawa study, though her help mostly consisted of bullying him about his intelligence, pointing out what he did wrong, and when he asked how to do it better shrugging and going ‘I dunno just do math better’ as it was impossible for her to convey the calculations she was always making in her own head.

『Why do we even have to study? We’re not even at school this is a school trip.』  
  
“You’re the kind of student who needs to study when everybody is enjoying themselves just to get by, and besides forcing an idiot like you to study will pull you into an exra special kind of despair.”  
  
Kumagawa sighed, and continued to work. Somehow he had gotten all of the multiple choice questions on the last practice test she had given him wrong, it was a miracle of porbability that would only occur to him. He was almost impressive when it came to failing.  
  
Watching him work in silence though, only made her thoughts return to her.  
_What does he get from being around me?_ _  
_ _I don’t get it._ _  
_ _I’m an existence who can only take from others after all._ _  
_ _He hates losing things the most._  
  
“Hey, Misogi… do you mind being abandoned by all of your friends, just because you chose me? I mean… nobody’s trying to save us on the rest of the island, that’s a given for me but you had Medaka-chan and Hitoyoshi-kun always trying to save you in the past.”

『I don’t think they’ve abandoned me, it’s probably just a difficult decision, like that trolley problem.』

“Hmmm? That trolley problem is super easy. Just kill the one person, then back up the trolley and kill the other people. That’s the most efficient way.”

『What am I doing getting stuck in a funhouse with a girl who thinks like this? No wait… ;what am I doing being around somebody so absurd they force me, the Ultimate Jokester into being their straight man?』  
  
Junko pursed her lips for a moment. “Is it really so bad?”

Kumagawa looked away, his cheeks reddening as he averted his eyes unable to look directly at something so bright. 『I told you not to ask if you already know the answer, that’s just rubbing it in… but no… it’s not so bad.』

 _My heart danced for a moment when you told me that._ _  
_ _It was like hearing music for the first time._ _  
_ _My dull existence…_ _  
_ _My colorless world._ _  
_ _Are you trying to save me from that?_ _  
_ _But I know better than anybody else that love doesn’t save people._ _  
_ _In fact I often use that trope to manipulate the fools who think so into killing each other._ _  
_ _If you were an AI that was just programmed to protect me._ _  
_ _Your undying loyalty to me would make sense._ _  
_ _But otherwise I can’t understand you, I can’t understand you one bit._ _  
_ _You’re just like a storm, Misogi.  
_ _With clouds so pitch black, and winds constantly changing directions, I can’t see a thing._

『I’m used to being hated anyway, so it’s fine if they don’t like me, and anyhow I’ve already conquered the most disagreeable character.』  
  
“I feel as if something disagreeable was said about me. At any rate, helping someone study is more difficult than I thought.”

『I wonder why that is.』  
  
“Isn’t it because you’re stupid? I’ve never once had any trouble with schoolwork in my entire life, so I don’t understand what it is you don’t understand. You should really pity your teacher more, you’re being such a burden on me, it’s so hard for me living this easy life where I’m a beautiful genius that can’t understand the struggles of others.”  

『I would cry for you, but I've cried all my tears away dealing with real problems.』  
  
“Well, once we get out of these killing games if you study from now on you could probably pass your proficiency exams, but what choices are you going to make after you cleared this level?”

『Cleared this level?』  
  
“I’m talking about your future.”

 _Huh?_ _  
_ _Since when did I start thinking about the future.  
_ _The only future I ever cared about, was my eventual death, my escape._ _  
_

『Future? Aren't I suffering enough in the present already..?』  
  
“It’s already your senior year, and you’re two years ahead of me. Are you just going to wait around Hope’s Peak harassing me for two more years, Sakakura will beat you up for being a stalker. Or are you satisfied with merely being able to graduate like you told me? What does that mean, that as soon as you graduate, you’re entering the work force?”

『Uhhhh....』  
  
“Or are you planning to start out as a freeter, or perhaps as a Neet who only leaves his apartment once a week to buy new copies of shonen jump?”

『Is that an actual job can I do that?』

“Oh, but I suppose you also have the option of learning a trade at a vocational school.”

『What are you my parent?』  
  
“Parent? What are you talking about? Are you into MILFs like Matsuda-kun, if there was anybody who you projected an image of your missing maternal figure onto I assumed it would be Ajimu-san not me. Aren’t I your lover?”

Kumagawa suddenly collapsed backwards from embarrassment, his face turning red, he rolled over on the floor looking up at the library extending around him. 『Future, huh? I guess you do have a point. What are you going to do?』  
  
“Die, obviously.”

『There’s no way I’d let you.』  
  
“Then you’ll have to come up with something else for me to do so I don’t get bored, if possible I’d like to continue having fun with you Misogi. Besides, graduating isn’t that big of a deal for me I could probably leave Hope’s Peak around the same time you did.”

『Well, that doesn’t sound half bad.』  
  
“Not half bad? What do you mean by that?”

『Yes, I want to. I’d be honored to. Please allow me to, my princess.』Kumagawa said excitedly straightening up, before sighing. 『Off the island, huh? I've almost completely forgotten the outside world existed.』

  
“You’ve been sighing a lot, haven’t you, Misogi? Did you know that each time you sigh, you lose something to be happy about?”

『I’ve already lost thousands of things to be happy about, so I don’t mind losing a few more.』  
  
“I’m not interested in how much happiness you’ve let slip away…”

『Don’t lie, you live for that sort of thing you misery voyeur!』  
  
“But I’d appreciate it if you didn’t sigh in front of me, because it’s sickening.”

『What are you allergic to feelings or something?』  
  
“When I say sickening I mean I’m lovesick.”  
  
Just from being so far apart from him, the other side of the table she felt cold. Her eyes watched every twitch of his body in anticipation, and she had been thinking so much of him all day that her stomach was starting to turn.  
  
Feelings really were the worst. She wondered again for a moment why she was so desperate to feel things that she’d break everything around her, but then she got bored of thinking of that and forgot about it.

 _Perhaps…_ _  
_ _Neither one of us can express our feelings properly.  
_ _It's fragile.  
_ _If you look at it, it will break.  
_ _That kind of feeling. I always thought things that broke weren't worth building it.  
_ _It's more fun to topple sandcastles, then to build them all alone._

『A-ah, I don’t know how to respond to that once. I can’t think up a good response.』  
  
“It’s because you never think. Oh, did you know MIsogi, I’ve never broken up with a boy before.”

『Yes you did, you broke up with Yasuke-chan. Or… I guess you murdered him.』  
  
“So, I have no intention of breaking up with you. Until the **end**.”

『Hey, don't ignore what I just said about Yasuke-chan. Why did you suddenly say end so dramatically? What are you implying with that bolded word???』

“I may have gotten somewhat passionate just now. Did I surprise you, Misogi?” _  
_

『Junko, be careful about those passions or you’ll kill someone in one of the next rounds..』  
  
“When I do, I’ll see to it that my first victim is you. I’m picking you as my first victim in this killing game. I won’t choose anyone but you, Misogi I promise you that.”

『I don’t want that kind of twisted love!』  
  
“Why wouldn’t you? You love twisted things, like screws, it's like y'know a motife with you. Just accept it.  If I’m the one who kills you, Misogi then that means I’ll be the one closest to you as you draw your last breath. How romantic is that? I’ll be painted in your blood, and your despair. I’ll paint the whole world in your blood.”

『I don’t even think I have that much blood! No! No matter who ends up  killing me, the last person I want to be killed by is you. I have a feeling that whoever kills me in whatever way, it’ll be way better than being killed by you!』  
  
“What kind of scenario is that? I won’t have it. If you’re killed by someone other than me, I’ll kill whoever’s responsible. As if I would keep my word then.”

『How about we just don’t kill anybody? Is that not an option?』  
  
“No…”  
  
_That’s right._ _  
_ _Even if these feelings were real._ _  
_ _Even if he was real._ _  
_ _They wouldn’t reach him._

 _And if he did, he’d break._ _  
_ _It’s pointless._ _  
_ _It’s unlike me to get worked up over pointless things._

 _It’s pointless trying to get somebody like me with no motivation to change?_ _  
_ _Why does he want it anyway?_ _  
_ _If he were an AI logically it would just be what he’s programmed to do._ _  
_ _I can’t comprehend the illogical answer._ _  
_

Junko suddenly lost interest in the beautiful drawing of Monokuma she had spent almost ten whole minutes on lovingly detailing his musculature, and suddenly started to climb over the table. Kumagawa who was too busy working hard on a math problem did not notice until she had pushed him over.

Kumagawa looked up, and saw Junko smiling at him and whatever annoyed look he had on his face faded away. She nestled into him and leaned her head against his chest. She listened to his heartbeat, wanting to confirm that he had one. That his warmth was the real thing.  She was so tired from feeling so much all day long, because she was used to feeling nothing at all. Emotions were exhausting, and lame, and icky. She wondered why she wanted to experience them so much again, but then she got bored of wondering that and poked Kumagawa in the chest instead. “Hey Misogi, why won’t you tell me your secret?” She just wanted to confirm it for real.

『If I told you, your life would become a living hell.』  
  
“Sounds fun.”

『Not the fun kind of hell. It’d be like a purgatory or a slow suicide. Since you get bored so easy, you know? Nobody likes watching the same things over and over.』  
  
She had no idea what he was saying. He was still incomprehensible to her, and she thought if she could understand him a little better, she would be a little closer to knowing what was real. The last time she approached him though she had just gotten hasty and taken from him, ripped it straight from his head. She might as well have gouged out his eyes because he thought they were pretty. “Are you mad… that I looked into your secret backstory without permission, with your parents?”

『That wasn't good but, I can call it even since I know all your dork secrets too.』  
  
“I think you meant to say dark secrets Misogi.”

『I meant what I said. The fact that you like bears so much you genuinely laugh when you hear bear jokes and puns.』  
  
“I don’t laugh.”

『Really? Don’t you love them so much that it sends you into des-bear?』  
  
“OMG Misogi! Why didn’t I think of that? Upupupupupupupupu!” She immediately broke into uncontrollable giggles, shaking against him.

『That you watch basically any anime and feel smug when you make references to it, that you snore and murmur in your sleep, that you talk to yourself way too much and get excited and strike poses even when nobody is in the room, I know everything that makes you a dork.』

“How do you know so much about me?”

『Because I’m always thinking about you.』  
  
“Why would you even do that?”  
  
『There’s nobody else here, right?』  
  
“Yeah… being here is like… being in a world with only the two of us, isn’t it?”

『I kind of like it, we’ve never had conversations like this before. We’re just talking, like people, hey… would it be so bad if it stayed like this?』  
  
That question hung in the air between the two of them. However, Junko would leave it hanging. She had sentenced it to death by hanging. She wanted to answer that question desperately, but she felt like the moment she answered it she would cease to exist.

Suddenly, Junko slid out of his arms. Before Kumagawa could ask what was wrong, she picked up one of the axes that had been left lying around (they really needed to be more responsible children and pick up after themselves) and suddenly slammed it into the table splitting it in half.

『Awawawa-wha? We were having a moment?』  
  
“I hate all moments.”

『That’s being way too undiscerning with your hatred!』  
  
Kumagawa scrambled backwards and got to his feet. When she swung next he had already dodged to the side. SHe abanoned the axe and picked up a knife instead, running her tongue along the edge before holding it out to him.

『Junko, that’s unsanitary.』  
  
“Take this seriously! I’m seriously trying to kill you!”

『Literally, why?』  
  
“All work and no play makes Junko a dull girl!” Kumagawa had closed the door behind her as he ran away, and Junko simply pried it open.

『I think you can only make that reference when you’ve done a single day of work in your life.』Kumagawa ran clumsily down the hall, his haste making him rush and run in an odd pattern. Confidently Junko strode behind him.

“No matter how dull you look right now, I can't hold back my desires. If I could hold back my desires... I wouldn't be this kind of person.” She said as she already had him cornered. She remembered, the bloody image of Yasuke on the floor bleeding out his last, a look of despair on his face, cursing the world and the fact that he had ever met her. She remembered the look of utter confusion when Mukuro was stabbed from every angle. They were just toys, broken toys she had used and thrown away. She had played with them until they broke, because she loved them, and she could not help hersellf. A smile spread across her face, and she had one glowing red eye. Not the face of a human being, but a monster like Monokuma that could only devour others.

“But, even I can’t stand when things end lamely. So c'mon Misogi, show me the same interesting reversal you always do.” Despite chasing him this far, she had embraced him, and even run her fingers through his coarse black hair, untidy in every way, dirty, oily, but she caressed his hair and his head softly all the same. She did not actually want him to die, she wanted him to how sher he was real. To do something.She pushed him away a moment after touching him softly in a way she never had before, and this time grabbed another weapon off the floor to chase him.  
  
The moment she did, her jaw spread apart like a crack had formed in her face and she smiled madly, manically. She threw her head back and laughed, trying to lose control of herself, anything to get herself to stop thinking of pointless things.  
  
She chased him again, and this time when Kumagawa tripped she stood over him. Quickly, before she could counter he drew out a screw and held it at her neck.  
  
“There, go, come on. You’re at close range do it.”

『I won’t.』  
  
“Why not?”

『I won’t let this go how the mastermind planned it. I'm not a demon and you're not a witch, we're not characters cast in the mastermind's fairytale we're people. There’s no way I’d die in such a boring way. I promised didn’t I?』  
  
She turned he the sword she was holding on her own neck. “Don’t start saying interesting things now, damn… I can’t hold back any longer. I hate your smile, y’know Misogi cuz it’s fake as shit. Your eyes are always so impossible to scrutinize, like water, but if it ever turns into a real smile, it’d be awesome, just imagining killing you the moment you experience genuine happiness for the first time in your life is making me smile more than anything else. So big, I could just die right now."  
  
In her impulsiveness, she tried to drag the sword against her own throat. To rip, to tear. But, before she had even moved Kuagawa Misogi had moved first tackling her over, and the sword instead dug into his shoulder tearing the cloth of his uniform. He tackled her over to the ground, and knocked the sword from his hand.

『Haha… I caught you by surprise. Does that mean I win for once?』  
  
“It’s… it’s no good Misogi…” Junko looked up at him, her eyes watering again. She had disgraced herself twice in front of this fool, she had been brought to tears twice now.

『W-w-w-wait, it’s my loss! I didn’t want to make you cry? It’s fine if I lose. It’s my fault. Please forgive me.』  
  
“It’s no good Misogi. We can't be people. You’re just going to break. If we keep going like this you’ll break. Then I won't have fun with you anymore.” She reached forward and touched his wound, digging her finger into the hot, wet, and sticky part of his bleeding shoulder, to feel what it felt like, causing him to shudder slightly. “They always break, everyone I play with. It always ends up this way. Even when I feel fate or bonds, nobody manages to keep up with me. Nobody in this world is special…a special person that could endure being around me can’t exist... I’m… I’m alone…”

『Don’t cry, Junko. I don’t want to see you cry. You’re right, there is nobody that is special, but it’s fine right? I’m used to losing so, even if I get lost, and even if I break I’m sure I’ll find you again.』  
  
“You shouldn’t just be around me because you’re the only one who can put up with me. You’re not obligated to put up with me!”

『Huh? Since when did you become so self aware? You should say that to Mukuro-chan not me. I’m around you because I like it, you’re fun to banter with, you’re creative, you’re impulsive and reckless but so am I.』  
  
“You just don’t get it because you’re stupid. You can’t fix me. No matter how much you endure I won’t be fixed. This is like the time with your parents. Enduring pain won’t lead to anything good.”

『I don’t think that. I’m not interested in fixed things. I only love broken things, I only know how it is to be broken. I can’t even imagine myself fixed, and I don’t want you to stop being Junko. But you know… we can help each other can’t we? Even if we’re both half a person, together we can make two halves of the same whole.』  
  
“Why did you appear so suddenly? It was like a miracle, but there’s no such things as miracles in this world.”

『I don’t need a world with miracles, Junko. I’m fine with any world with you in it..』  
  
“It’s impossible. Two people can never become one as long as the walls of mind and body exist...”

『Junko… I’m always thinking about you, I’m always watching you, but I still don’t know when is it you’re being sincere… and when are you just quoting evangelion?』  
  
“That wasn’t an evangelion quote! That’s just a fact!” Junko said, closing her eyes in frustration and uselessly beating her hands against his chest. Her tears were squeezed out to the very corners of her eyes.  
  
It was just when she was trying to close everything out that it finally came to her.  
An answer.  
  
_Even if Kumagawa is not real._ _  
_ _These feelings are._ _  
_ _These feelings are real._ _  
_ _I can feel them._ _  
_ _Because I’ve acknowledged him as a person outside of myself, haven’t I?_ _  
_ _It’s not manipulation or mind control or false memories._ _  
_ _I’ve just realized this part of myself because I looked at someone else._ _  
_ _They’re real to me._ _  
_ _And that’s all that matters, because I’m a self centered girl after all._

『Junko, you should tell me this stuff beforehand instead of waiting until it all explodes.』  
  
“Awe, but I like explosions.”

『Junko...』  
  
“Well I… I was worried about something stupid… and I didn’t want to tell you because you’re kind of losing your mind and I didn’t want to pile onto that, and I still haven’t been able to do a single thing for you yet. You haven’t asked me to give you a single thing.”

『Hmmm, okay then. How about a smile?』  
  
Junko tried to smile for him right then. She sat up, and wiped her tear streaked face, and then folded her arms behind her back and tilted her head. A genuine smile that was not simply wearing a mask of comedy. She had no idea what that was like, or what people felt when they smiled, soft, quiet, and fond, because she had only ever felt things in extremes she forced herself to feel before.  
  
But she tried for his sake. A smile formed on her lips, small, and almost shy looking.

『Wow...Your real smile looks almost exactly as creepy as Mukuro’s. You two really are sisters after all, only a villain could smile in that way in a moment like this.』  
  
“Heeeeey, don’t insult your girlfriend when she’s crying, there’s a limit to how shameless one loser boy can be you know?”

『Huh, insult? I was praising you? It was a beautiful smile.』  
  
“Oh…”  
  
And in fondness, she pressed her head against him. They were in this together after all.   
  
_There’s nobody special in this world._ _  
_ _Not me, and not Kumagawa._ _  
_ _But that’s fine, I already knew this was a boring world._ _  
_ _What just happened then?_ _  
_ _I threw a fit because I was angry._ _  
_ _I cried because I was sad._ _  
_ _I’m smiling because I’m happy._ _  
_ _Oh, I’m human after all._ _  
_  
Out of hunger, they both fell asleep.  
  
When she woke up, she grumbled. “This whole starving to death thing is getting really inconvenient.”

『Yeah, that’s the worst part, the slight inconvenience.』  
  
She reached into her bra and pulled out a single vial.

『Wha? Is that like a storage compartment? Is this a secret technique all girls use?』  
  
“Hey, I checked this poison is non-lethal. We could share it and go asleep, and then wake up when a killing happens. At least we wouldn’t have to suffer the hunger pains anymore.”  
  
Kumagawa hesitated for a moment, and as he did that was just long enough for a third figure to appear in their doorway. Blonde spiky hair, scratching at the back of his head. Hitoyoshi Zenkichi awkwardly waved to both of them.”What happened to this place? Why are there weapons lying everywhere?”

『Long story… Wait, how the hell did you even get here?』  
  
“Long story!” Hitoyoshi Zenkichi said, with an infuriatingly carefree smile, that somehow resembled Kumagawa's own. "It all starts with..."

"..."

『...』  
  
"Hey, say something already! I'm bored of waiting!"   
  
"I was trailing off for a proper scene transition, jeez Kumagawa your girlfriend is bossy."


	37. Smile at Despair in the Name of Laughter (9 - Always x Always)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tokyo Ghoul reference this chapter!

_My ideals?_ _  
_ _I’m not sure I have any._ _  
_ _I don’t believe in hope like Naegi or Komaeda._ _  
_ _I don’t want to believe in everybody like Medaka-chan_ _  
_ _And I’m not as obsessed with winning as Kumagawa._ _  
_ _I guess there’s on thing I’ve always wanted._ _  
_ _I wanted to be a hero._ _  
_ _Jeez, what do you mean that’s cliche?_ _  
_ _Give a guy a break.  
It's fine for a normal guy to have normal desires. _

Hitoyoshi Zenkichi grew up in the shadow of Kurokami Medaka, family, childhood friends, lovers, they were somehow a mix of all three of them. Each of them defined themselves by their connection to the other, Kurokami Medaka was his connection to the extraordinary, and Hitoyoshi Zenkichi her connection to the ordinary. Anybody else would have been eclipsed by her overwhelming presence, but Hitoyoshi never allowed that to happen.  
  
Personally, I don’t really get what’s so special about him. He’s a mediocre man, with a mediocre name, mediocre smarts, mediocre looks, and a mediocre personality. It’s not that he’s the type of hero who never gives up, he gives up and gets discouraged quite frequently. It’s not that he’s the type of hero who is kind to everyone he meets. In fact he’s rude just as often as he’s kind, he gets annoyed by the eccentric personalities of others, he complains at being dragged around by their whims. Sometimes he even has a bad attitude, sometimes there are those he does not want to forgive like Kumagawa.  
  
Perhaps it was because he does not run away. There were full grown adults, mathemeticians, athelets, scientists, geniuses of their field who in the face of Kurokami Medaka ran away, believing that her existence made all of their efforts go to nothing. In that moment, Hitoyoshi Zenkichi saw the loneliness of such a girl, and decided he would never leave her alone. Even if traveling the road to reach her would be the most difficult pathway his life could take.  
  
He was honest and unsophicated. He was somebody who had his entire story written on his face, and it wasn’t a particularly long or complicated one. He was somebody who just honestly wanted to see the extraordinary people around him, smile, and have fun just like ordinary people.  
  
But the girl he wanted to smile the mos was Kurokami Medaka, and in pushing himself so far for her sake, and always hurting himself and always choosing what was best for her, rying to be a pit bull when he was nothing more than a puppy, he only ever made her cry. He was a spiky haired shonen protagonist after all, and shonen and romance never mixed well.  
  
In the past he tried to become a main character for her sake, so he could stand by her side, all of the purpose of confessing but he had forgotten to confess to her. He thought after they resolved the conflict with the final boss Ajimu, Kurokami might finally know some peace from her life of constant fighting, but he was wrong. He had been dragged into an entirely new situation, and a new genre that a simple and bland shonen protagonist like him was maladjusted for. He should have known really, the moment that he had decided to follow Kurokami Medaka’s side, he would never know peace.

Even if there was nothing he could do now, even if he did not understand fully what was going on, he still could not bring himself to run away. Many of the students on this island had already killed each other, but he could not bring himself to blame others. He would no run away, he would not run away. It was like a mantra repeated over and over again with intensity to convince him there was still something he could do. There was still a reason he was here on his island instead of somebody else. An ordinary guy like him would earn his place among the extraordinary and continue to stand by Medaka’s side.

At the moment he was not running so much as walking. He was a guy best suited to follow others it seemed, as in the middle of the night he had been woken up from his dormitory by a strangely quiet Komaeda Nagito. Zenkichi knew the boy well enough to know that the other boy hated the quiet. So much so, that he would often speak out of turn, or even speak when he had no idea what to say just to fill the silence. Zenkichi thought that was pretty normal though, nobody really liked those awkward quiet moments did they? Sometimes Komaeda said the wrong thing when he was trying to force himself, but he was almost never malicious.  
  
Komaeda’s silence worried him a little. Zenkichi knew that Komaeda would only be silent if there was a lot on his mind. Komaeda was never one to keep his thoughts to himself either, well there were some he did, and some he did not, or rather it seemed like he intentionally did try to hide things but a lot of things kept pouring out anyway. Zenkichi did not consider himself especially knowledgeable about people, he just had a habit of watching others, because he was used to the sight of Kurokami Medaka’s back.

At the moment though, rather than a cute girl he was staring at the red 55 that Komaeda wore on the back of his green jacket, so this time he stared at a cute boy. Another thing Zenkichi found strange was how much Komaeda Nagito was walking ahead of him at the moment. It was not that he minded walking behind others, the exact opposite really it was what he was used to, but usually Komaeda would make some self deprecating remark like “There’s no way I can walk ahead of someone with talent, or walk by there side so please walk ahead of me” but this time he stayed eerily silent as well.

“Komaeda, how far are we going?”  
  
“...”  
  
“We shouldn’t be walking around in the middle of the night like this. Weren’t you with Hinata? Did you just leave him behind?”  
  
“...”  
  
“Hey…”  
  
There was something familiar about this back. The back of somebody who stood alone, apart from everybody else, the back of somebody who did not understand others, and did not understand themselves, and believed their birth was a curse on the world.  
  
Perhaps, that was why Zenkichi could not leave him alone. Even after Komaeda had hurt him, he could not run away. In a tragedy, the hero’s good qualities turn self destructive after all.  
  
“ _Medaka-chan, Medaka-chan. You’re always so cool. This time I’m going to beat you, and catch more bugs than you.”_

 _  
_ _“Huh? Why do you want to beat me so badly, Zenkichi?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“If I don’t, I won’t be able to stay by your side.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Who said that?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Nobody said it, that’s just how it is. If I was a loser I would shame you.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Wow, you have a pretty good vocabulary for a kid, Zenkichi.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Like you should be talking, girl genius!”_

Komaeda stopped in front of the old hotel building. That was the only thing that could make Zenkichi hesitate, as suddenly he saw images of a bloodied Hanten, and Shiranui dropped into a volcano flashed before his eyes. But… he couldn’t run away, Komaeda might need him in this moment.  
  
“W-what are we doing here?”  
  
“I wanted to think about something, but what I want to think about and what I think about usually end up being two different things. Haha, well it’s not like the thoughts of trash like me are worth much on their own anyway, but I thought you would at least hear me out Hitoyoshi-kun.”

“Oh, of course I would.”  
  
“You’ve always made me sick.”  
  
“Hey…”

Even though Komaeda had started speaking to him, he still kept his back turned. As it was night, the colors had all drained out from the sky. If this were a colored page in a manga at the moment, the fans might remark how moody the color pallete the author had chosen was. Komaeda’s pure white hair was something that stuck out in contrast against the dark background. Zenkichi in particular, saw the silver chain that hung off the belt of his tight black pants as the wind lifted and whipped his coat slightly.  
  
That skull seemed oddly fitting for him. If Zenkichi had to describe his nature in one word, it was a bit like a shinigami. Komaeda never reaped souls himself, but where-ever he appeared death was soon to follow. He heralded it for others. There was no doubt in Zenkichi’s mind that Komaeda blamed himself for each instance of death and misfortune that had happened on this death so far, perhaps he even blamed himself for the fact they all had been stranded here. He could see why the other was trying so desperately to make good luck happen after experiencing so much bad luck. Even Komaeda himself, had a quality about his appearance of being haunted by death, besides his thin stature and pale features his entire appearance had an ephemeral quality to it. As much as ephemeral meant dream like, it also meant fragile, he looked like he might crumble into dust. That was why Zenkichi had been so afraid to touch him lately, despite his concerns. Conerned, concerned by somebody with such a haunting appearance, somebody whose mere presence brought disaster? Zenkichi did not think it was wrong, after all if you could sympathize with the devil you could sympathize with a shinigami as well. It was not like a shinigami ever directly killed anybody, yet he was feared anyway, when it must have been a lonely position, witnessing all that death forced to be an observer and unable to interact with the living.  
  
He leaned forward to try to catch a glimpse of Komaeda’s eyes, but his hair was still wet from the rain earlier and his bangs had tangled in front of his eyes. Komaeda’s eyes lost behind some twisted spiral, it was oddly poetic. After being quiet for a little while longer, Komaeda finally spoke up again. “It’s not that I think you’re lacking in good qualities, it’s just that for as many good qualities as you’ve had there’s something about you that always sickened me, it’s like vertigo or something like that… looking at you makes it feel like the rules I thought were certain can get easily broken, like there’s suddenly no gravity and I’m nauseous from spinning.”

Zenkichi’s features relaxed, he could tell Komaeda had been thinking about this for a long time. The boy must have struggled trying to phrase feelings he did not quite understand, like trying to hold onto sand sifting through a sieve. That was why he wanted to listen with everything he had.  
  
“You were talentless and useless, so how’d you make it into Hope’s Peak, and how’d you get an Ultimate Talent? I didn’t understand this boring, and average looking guy that said some stuff that made no sense, and then looked satisfied, and no matter how much he got knocked down, just kept on climbing up, higher and higher…”  
  
“...”  
  
“Ever since Ajimu-san appeared, no, before that ever since Kumagawa-kun came to this school nothing has made sense. I mean of course I don’t understand the world, I’m too stupid, not to mention weak. It only makes sense a weakling like me would live an entirely structureless life of constant chaos, I’m not strong enough to stand on my own or make any kind of order…”  
  
“That’s not a matter of ability, but--”  
  
“Those who are strong, have friends. Those who are strong, work hard. Those who are strong, can win. That inescapable reality is the one those with talent know and can’t tolerate.” He reached up a pale hand and closed it, as if crushing something fragile between his fingertips. “The world is senseless chaos yes, but there are those who are strong enough to create something out of the chaos, those are what we call Ultimates. We strive to make order out of chaos, even I… even I believe there’s an order to my luck, a creature as lowly at me can at least notice that pattern. All I want… All I want is for the world to make sense again… do you get what I mean? Am I… am I wrong again?”  
  
“No, you’re not wrong. I’ll listen to you, if that’s what you want.”  
  
“My voice is unpleasant, and all I can do is ramble about uncomfortable things, and I’ll probably keep talking even when you no longer want to hear me…”  
  
“That’s fine, just say what’s on your mind, without showing off, say it without showing off.”  
  
Komaeda started to tap his foot on the ground in impatience, digging his hands into his pockets again. “You’ve always made me sick and pissed me off… but I understand kind of, why you break those rules that are so necessary for keeping everything stable.” He finally tilted his head back, the angle looked unhealthy. “I’ve been thinking all this time, and it kind of makes sense. You might be a special case. You didn’t beat Kurokami-san in an area of talent, just an election, and you used the popularity of the talentless masses of the reserve course to get ahead of her. Those without talent are always trying to use the majority to cling to those who do have it so… you might be a blank slate to which others foist their ideals upon, a zero… something like that…”  
  
_I’d rather be a hero than a zero._ _  
_ _Yeah okay I know it was lame._

 _I was just nervously making a joke in anticipation for what came next._ _  
_ _But._ _  
_ _Here it comes._ _  
_ _  
_ “I wanted to ask you, since you’re outside of those rules you might be unbiased. You’re the only one on this island, whose spent a great deal of time with both of us, so I wanted to know…between Naegi-kun and I.”  
  
“...? Well, he’s a lot shorter than you.”

“Quit joking around! Why are you being so casual about this. You’re supposed to say the thing… the hopey thing… the inspiring thing.”  
  
“Dude, it’s not like I can do it at the press of a button, and uh… of course I’m being casual, we’re friends right?” Zenkichi flashed a grin.  
  
Every one of Komaeda’s smiles looked tortured, like he was in pain. He wanted to see Komaeda smile when he was enjoying himself just once. Komaeda only twisted his face up, and opened his mouth enough to show he was gritting his teeth.  
  
“We’re not… we were never… No it’s my fault, it’s my fault for not explaining properly, I’ll start from the beginning. For a long time, humans have been taught that if you try hard enough, you can accomplish anything. But… people who can’t win… people who don’t try to win… people who try their best and still can’t win… the vast majority of people exist so that the few people who stand above them shine all the more brilliantly. It’s like in a competition, everybody compets but there’s only one winner, all the losers are just stepping stones to the brilliance of the winner’s victory. Even among stepping stones though there are people who are unsuited even to be something which supports others… they’re insignificant by nature. Kumagawa was one such person, he’s less than a stepping stone, he’s a pebble on the side of the road. He’s somebody who should have just died forgotten in some curled up in some ditch like the forgotten litter he was but… ever since that person was acknowledged by the person I both admired and saw as my worst enemy without me realizing it… nothing has made sense to me.”  
  
“The person you admire…?”  
  
“No, my sworn enemy. Ah, I don’t want you to misunderstand. I just see her as my enemy, you know. Because she’s my sworn enemy… Because I hate her so much… Wait, huh? Do I… hate her? Huh… That’s strange…Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?” Komaeda slowly raised his left hand out of his pocket, and put it on his forehead, dragging his fingers like claws across his pale skin sunken in slightly at his cheeks due to his lack of body fate. His fingers coarsed in his hair, getting lose in the curls and then pulling at it hard. It was too bad really, he had been trying so hard too to explain to Zenkichi what was troubling so much without breaking down.

  
He must have thought Zenkichi would get scared at that moment, or that he would back away. However instead the other boy closed the ten steps between them, until ten steps became three, and then none. “Komaeda, are you okay? Have you been sleeping at all lately?”  
  
Komaeda’s expression went flat, Zenkichi’s warm touch was enough to bring him back. “No, I told you I haven’t, and there’s no way I would have been able to sleep tonight anyway even if I wanted to. I just have to explain it okay… even if what I tell you fills you with feelings of disgust or rejection.”  
  
“...Okay.”  
  
Komaeda pushed Zenkichi away then, skulking off a few more steps to continue to stand on his own. Zenkichi looked to the side and saw several more footprints in the sand that looked older, Komaeda must have been pacing for a long time, thinking to himself. Zenkichi’s worry only increased.  
  
“I came to this school, and I found the symbol of despair. I wanted her to be defeated more than anything else, so I took her side and made her into an enemy that the greatest hope would be born to overcome… but nobody came to defeat her you know? I thought… it wasn’t my job to be involved, to be important, I could only watch from the sidelines. I was never once acknowledged by her as a threat, and then somebody like Kumagawa-kun came along and he was even lesser, he doesn’t even have a boring talent like good luck just bad luck, less than me… but he stood in front of her and defeated her. She acknowledges him as an enemy. I thought because I wasn’t given a talent there was nothing I could do, but… there’s also somebody in the 78th class, they’re an average person with a boring talent of luck just like me but they’ve never once sat on the sidelines. I thought knowing my place was the only way I could support others but I… I was… was I wrong…?”  
  
“You want me to compare you and Naegi? Or are you just trying to get me to tell you that you’re worse than Naegi? I’m not going to do that, it’s pointless to compare the two of you, you know.”  
  
“Don’t give me that! Don’t just give me some stock answer! I don’t need platitudes you’re supposed to be better than that, you’re supposed to be special! No, uh… it’s my fault sorry I snapped at you, pushing my expectations on others is so arrogant for an existence like myself I just… I just keep asking myself why....”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Naegi-kun is somebody who admires the talent of everybody else around him, and considers himself worthless too. Naegi-kun is somebody who believes in hope no matter what, and forces his belief of hope onto others. Even though we both admired the same talented people… Why? Why…? I… I don’t....”  
  
“Komaeda, are you okay-”  
  
“Don’t worry about me!” Violently, Komaeda snapped away Zenkichi’s approaching hand. “I hate that pity of yours, I hate how you see me, it’s like you’re not even listening. I’ve done bad things you know! What the hell’s wrong with you, are you some kind of sociopath who doesn’t care what people do as long as they’re your friends? Why… why if we’re the same is Naegi-kun admired by everyone around him? If we’re both worthless and have no talent except a boring talent like luck, why is it that he became so strong? But I… Why was I…? Why was I the one who betrayed Hope’s Peak? Who tried to destroy it?” Komaeda who had been battling with himself to say it, to finally accept it and say it looked Zenkichi straight in the eye finally holding onto the fabric of his white shirt with a red twisted symbol on the front and twisting it even further in his hands. “If I’d been stronger, if I didn’t fall from the path and justify myself, the school I loved would still be standing. Kumagawa-kun  tried to keep it a secret, he didn’t want me to worry about it. Even if I try not to think about it… it just pops into my head when I least want it to. I don’t know, how to stop thinking, how to stop feeling, such terrible things… I just want to be positive… but I can’t figure it out. The difference in our ideals, we admired the same hope after all. But, his hope leads him to save people, and my hope lead me to ruin the academy I loved so much. Even though we both believed in the same hope, was my belief wrong…?”

That fragile quality of Komaeda’s, Zenkichi could see the light shining through him, reflecting off of him like he was transparent, like he was made of glass. He spent his whole life accepting things, like an open windsock, or a sieve that let everything through it, he had been forced to accept the worst possible circumstances and so he decided to just one sidedly love this world in an effort to accept all of that. Zenkichi felt like if he ever truly confronted anything though, Komaeda would break, he’d shatter just like glass. Yet, that boy was trying to confront it in this moment.  
  
“I think you’re beautiful.”  
  
“Wha…? My own mother…” Komaeda muttered to himself, and Zenkichi got the feeling that he was not looking at Zenkichi at the present moment, but rather his eyes had gone somewhere else perhaps some point far in the past.  
  
“I mean normally, if somebody insults you, if they say annoying stuff you won’t want anything to do with them anymore. It’s not like I want to love everybody like Medaka-chan did but…I’m also a mediocre person who adired something much greater than myself, so along with the unpleasant parts about you I saw there was something beautiful about you. You had something I didn’t have.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Your ideals. You have such beautiful ideals. I don’t think your beliefs are wrong at all. I know you feel disappointed in yourself, and maybe in others too for not being able to reach your ideals, but that’s why ideals shine so brilliantly… because… they don’t exist in this world. They’re like celestial bodies, they’re far off in the distance, and shine light on you.”  
  
“I wasn’t…”  
  
“It’s only natural to fall short of your ideals. Ideals are greater than reality. You’re always going to fall short of them, you’re always going to be uglier than your ideals,  you’re always going to be a hypocrite in the end, but… I don’t think you were wrong in the first place for believing in them, or that striving for them is wrong. It’s a beautiful ideal don’t you think? That people can always keep hoping, and that hope will shine even in the worst of situations?”  
  
“Y...yeah…”

 _That’s the opposite of what I told Medaka-chan._ _  
_ _What am I even saying?_ _  
_ _I just don’t want Komaeda to fall apart in front of me._ _  
_ _Even if they’re just empty words anything to make him last a little longer._ _  
_ _Even if he’s dangerous I want him to stay together._ _  
_ _I’m a hypocrite aren’t I?_ _  
_ _I always got so annoyed when Medaka-chan risked herself by putting her neck out for her enemies like this._ _  
_ _I don’t want to do that for everyone, but Komaeda’s special._ _  
_ _It’s not like I have a central value or guideline like ideals._ _  
_ _I’m just a guy who tries too hard._ _  
_ _  
_ “Besides, like I said comparing yourself to Makoto is worthless. There are things that you do better than him.”  
  
“Like… like what?”  
  
“Well, you’re taller than him for one. In fact you’re taller than me. Who gave you permission to be so tall?”  Zenkichi said, playfully throwing a punch in the air. He was afraid if he punched Komaeda on the shoulder, even in a friendly way he would bruise him.  
  
“Height has nothing to do with hard work, I was just born taller than both of you.”  
  
“You don’t have to answer me so literally when I’m joking around with you! Lighten up a little bit! Where’s HInata, you always seem to relax and smile around that guy!”  
  
“I… Hinata-kun and I fell asleep in the same bed, but I snuck out in the middle of the night.”  
  
“Ohohohohohoho.”  
  
“It’s not like that.”  
  
“Why is everybody making progress in their romance arcs but me?”  
  
“I said it’s not like that. It’s just… I’m a coward you know. I heard the words that I wanted to hear the most, and I thought I would be so happy when I heard them but... “ His hand traveled to his chest again. Zenkichi wondered if Komaeda was searching for his heart beat. The heartbeat of a corpse was destined to be faint after all, or perhaps even not there at all, and it must have been hard hearing it in such an empty looking chest. “I… I was only filled with anxiety. I was always worried about gaining love, but the moment I had it now I’m worried about losing it. I… I’m just spoiled aren’t I? I’m just an unworthy existence throwing a tantrum and not realizing how good I have it…or maybe I’m just a coward looking for a reason to run away. I’m not like you Hitoyoshi-kun, I can’t protect Hinata-kun like you can Kurokami-san.”

Zenkichi reached forward and put a hand on Komaeda’s chest. He found his heartbeat in an instant, and he could feel how loudly Komaeda’s heart was beating and its pace quickening. “Komaeda. It’s fine. All young people are clueless when it comes to love and…I’m just a coward too. I’ve never once been able to protect Medaka-chan. I haven’t even been able to confess to her after all this time, and I’ve had since we were two years old.”

After hearing that, Komaeda walked away like a disinterested cat. 

 

 ♛

 

 _“Why are you so set on me? I’m just a childhood friend, and some might say I’m just the same as any stranger.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“You do say some odd things, you should know that never in my life have I once considered you as a stranger. Because I am the person who understands you best, and you are the person who understands me best. Ever since we were two, you were the one who always worried about me, it’s no different now, you are still the only person who protects me. It’s because of the reassurance that you give me that I am able to help others!!”_ _  
_ _  
_ _There was never really any need for me to think about it._ _  
_ _I knew from the start things would always end up like this._ _  
_ _After all say what I might I’m in love with Medaka-chan._ _  
_ _But… I haven’t done enough for her yet._ _  
_ _I was going to confess to her when I’d finally done something worthy to stand by her side._ _  
_ _But I haven’t done anything yet._ _  
_ _Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing._ _  
_ _I’m the one who set her on this confusing path of self discovery._

 _But I haven’t been able to do a single thing for her so far._ _  
_ _Even though I’ve been by her side for thirteen years._ _  
_ _I still haven’t grown up into a proper man for her._

_But Medaka-chan is so kind, and she pretended even a useless hanger-on like me helped her in some way._

As he was walking back with his discussion with Komaeda, he noticed another white silhouette like a phantom was haunting the shoreline. He quickly recognized the silhouette of Ajimu Najimi, bandages hanging off her face from the many beatings that Monokuma had given her. Another frustrating thing that he had been unable to stop.  
  
Perhaps it was just arrogance, beating himself up again and again for being unable to protect people who were so much stronger than him in the first place, but he could not help what he felt. Ajimu was somebody he had known since middle school, she was like a thoughtful senpai who had taken a long time to tutor him. Sure she had a distant side, and a bit of a sadistic side but Kurokami Medaka enjoyed fighting as well.  
  
He went to see what Ajimu was doing awake at such an hour (though he did not know if she technically slept or not) and saw she was talking to Ikusaba Mukuro. The only other friend that Zenkichi had on this island besides Komaeda and Medaka anymore. He hid himself, and instantly felt guilty for eavesdropping.  
  
“Did you check on them like you said you would?”  
  
“Yep, I played with Junko-chan and Kumagawa-kun a little bit.”  
  
“Umm… played? What does that mean?”  
  
“What does it usually mean, when Junko-chan plays with her toys.”

  
“Y.. you didn’t. How could you do that, it’d hurt Misogi-chan too much.”  
  
“Having Junko-chan around him hurts him worse, you know that fact quite well. But… I guess it’s convenient for you after all he’s now the target of your sister’s greatest abuse instead of you. In fact he even stands up for you.”  
  
“I don’t…”  
  
“You have to know right, every time Kumagawa-kun tries to protect someone he hurts himself, because it’s all he knows. By relying on his protection, you’re just ensuring that he’ll hurt himself again.”  
  
“I don’t want him to hurt himself, I keep trying to tell him…”  
  
“But it’s too precarious, this pretend family you’re holding onto, so you don’t want to mess with it too much. If you do, you risk losing both Junko-chan and Kumagawa-kun again.”  
  
Ikusaba Mukuro’s eyes widened. She stared in disbelief for a moment, and then her resolve hardened. She spoke in a voice entirely without emotion. “Junko and Misogi-chan aren’t dead. They won’t die.”  
  
“Perhaps for now, but they won’t last much longer in that funhouse and you know it. If you really wanted to protect Kumagawa-kun, you’d stop forcing everything onto him, you’d get your hands dirty yourself.”  
  
“Fine.” In that moment Ikusaba Mukuro suddenly snapped forward. A knife spun through the sky, so slickly and so fast it seemed to slice the air itself. Ajimu Najimi was an incredibly fighter but for some reason she took the hit. Even when Mukuro drew another knife, after tackling the girl in a simple school uniform to the ground. “This is fine, right? You’re not a part of the killing game, and you’re immortal, right? I’m so afraid these days, to break something, to break someone, if someone like me reaches out and touches it it’ll break because I only know how to kill that’s why I’ve been holding back all this time but…”  
  
Zenkichi’s vision blurred, even though he was always fighting he was not used to so much bloodshed. It was like suddenly bumping up a shonen character to a Seinen series. Mukuro raised her other knife in the air, and dug into Ajimu’s flesh. Her intention was not to kill, simply to hurt, because Ajimu had hurt her sister, and her close friend, and had taunted her with that fact.  
  
Zenkichi at the moent though was not worried for Ajimu at all. If Ajimu wanted to dodge, she could have dodged, so he wondered why she took the hit. It was a similiar move to what Kumagawa always pulled, taking hits on purpose to psychologically mess with his opponents. He seemed to have learned a lot of moves out of her playbook, because of the twisted connection between the two. Just as Mukuro raised her knife into the air again, Ajimu revealed herself.  
  
“That hurt…” Ajimu retained one of her abilities. She could still shapeshift, it was the reason she loked human at the moment and not some unknowable cosmic entities. Monokuma in restricting her however, had never once specified that Ajimu was not allowed to turn into anyone else. Which is why  in that moment when Mukuro hesitated and looked down, the person she was stabbing was not the immortal non-human who was above everything Ajimu Najimi, but rather the face of her sister. “M-Mukuro…” Her sister’s face choked out, but it was more a gurgle due to the blood in her throat.

“Junko…”  
  
“Don’t hurt me, Mukuro. I don’t want to die.”  
  
“Yes…”

Mukuro’s eyes looked distant for a moment and her whole body seemed to quiet down. Zenkichi wondered for a moment, if she was looking at the same far off place that Komaeda was. He had a mother, and a childhood friend, so he did not understand exaclty the looks of longing in those without. Those deprived. THey were almost hungry looks. Mukuro’s eyes shifted to something crarnal.  
  
Then, she raised the knife again and dug it straight into Junko’s throat. Ajimu Najimi werring the maks of another spit blood, a look of surprise on her face. It was almost comical really, but Mukuor’s face quickly became serious. A look of frantic serious, of desperate, of need… “D-don’t die… Never, never again. Don’t die on me. I don’t mind if you kill me, but I can’t stand the thought of living without you.”

Ajimu’s eyes rolled back, as the blade had been torn all across her throat and ripped out. Her throat was not slit so much as carved out. Mukuro’s hands trembling, as she begged held onto the knife because it was the only thing she had ever been able to hold after all. Her sister did not hold her, and her sister was going to someday disappear be swallowed up in a fault line of despair that opened up at her feet. There was no way Mukuro could reach her, not a sister who only ever touched her violently.  
  
“Please, don’t leave me behind. Don’t abandon me. I don’t want you to go. I’ll let you do anything. You can hit and kick me again, you can call me smelly, just don’t die…”  
  
She arched her back bringing the knife over her head, and then with both hands, stabbed forward again and again. She had dropped all pretense of artistry and was using the knife like it was a blunt weapon, smashing what was in front of her, the image of her sister’s face, the sister she knew was not there and not listening and yet still could not help but pour out all of these feelings. Because they had never once talked as sisters. Because despair sisters did not talk that way, did not communicate, did not share anything between them but despair.  
  
“I… Without you, I… Who am I?”  
  
Mukuro looked exhausted, whacking away at Ajimu’s face like that. She collapsed foward again, out of breath. “Even though you’re annoying, and loud, and attention hungry, and trashy, and all you ever do is cause me trouble and make me clean up after your messes, I love you Junko. I want to be your sister but I can’t…”  
  
Zenkichi did not move right away. He beat himself up for not moving right away. He should have moved right away and stopped it, but he hesitated. It was normal to hesitate in this situation and he had only done the normal thing but still. He walked forward finally just when Ikusaba Mukuro was about to collapse, and held a hand out to catch her.  
  
He helped lift her up off of the bloody pulp that was Ajimu Najii a moment ago. She stood there trembling after he let go of her, and noticing her shiver, he undid his own jacket and draped it around her shoulders. He had done this all wordlessly, not knowing what to say. Komaeda said he was good at doing the inspirational thingy, but Zenkichi did not see it exactly that way. He looked at Ajimu on the ground, and poked her with his toe. It was easier to deal with somebody he knew first.  
  
“It’s not nice to bully your Kouhais you know.” Zenkichi said, looking incredibly strict as he readjusted his glasses.  
AJimu Najimi who had been playing a corpse until a moment ago, suddenly sat up. She grabbed the bloodied face of Enoshima Junko, and peeled it off like it were a mask. _It’s a good thing this moment is never getting an anime adaptation,_ Zenkichi thought as he looked at the gruesome sight. “You should stop getting beaten up so much, you’re going to need more bandages than Naze soon.”  
  
“Lecturing me one moment, and then being concerned for me the next. How like you Zenkichi, you’re such a boringly open book.”  
  
“If you’re going to get your entertainment from messing with others like that then I’d prefer to be boring.”  
  
“Are you disappointed in me?”  
  
“Yeah, a little.” Zenkichi said, before walking up to Ajimu who was still sitting on the ground, cross legged, like a mischievous looking child and punching down to smack her hard upside the head. He doubted such a blow would mean anything to her, but he felt like doing it anyway. “Why are you acting so weird lately, anyway? You’re going to worry Medaka-chan if you slip and start acting like your old self.”  
  
“My old self? Have I changed? You believe a thing like me is capable of changing?”  
  
“Well, you’re just a person after all. Everybody can change if they put their mind to it.”  
  
“How simple. You’re right, people can indeed change but… you always seem to stay the same even in this situation. Every time we go around…”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Nothing, don’t think about it too hard. That should be easy for you.”  
  
“Hey! I’m not the one messing with people and turning into people’s sisters for a stupid joke. You’re the stupid one…” Zenkichi said, and this time he pulled Ajimu into a headlock and started to rub his fist against the top of her head to mess with her hair.  
  
“Ah! Hitoyoshi-kun is punishing me, whatever will I do? I didn’t mean anything by it, I just wanted to see her switch flip.”  
  
“Her switch?”  
  
“Girls have all kind of switches you know. Have you ever flipped a girl’s switch?”  
  
“N-no! There’s no need to be so hasty, I’d rather take my time when it comes to that!”  
“Then, you should stop playing around with me and go find Medaka-chan already…” Ajimu Najimi said, playfully before she disappeared from his arms entirely. Zenkichi felt like he was hugging her ghost image for a moment before his arms closed around empty air.  
  
He turned his attention back to Mukuro who was still standing there, clinging onto his coat. He scratched the back of his head, not knowing what to say at first. “I’m sorry Anshin’in-san she doesn’t know how to act like a person sometimes. I’m sorry I should have gotten her to bow her head and apologize to you. Next time, I’ll make sure to-”  
  
“Unnecessary.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Nothing she said was incorrect. An apology is unnecessary.”  
  
“But.”  
  
“I’m the one who stabbed her after all. I got upset, and I stabbed her, because I’m a girl who only knows how to kill.”  
  
“That’s not true, who said that?”  
  
“Junko, but it’s not incorrect unlike most of the insults she lobbed at me. All I’ve ever done is kill until this point.” Mukuro looked at her gloved hands. Zenkichi wondered why she was always wearing gloves, despite the fact that she was so cold and emotionless she did not seem like she wanted to be distant from others. But in that moment Zenkichi understood. He saw the look in her eyes, it was revulsion, her eyes stared at her hands with nothing but revulsion. She probably could not bear to look at hands that had killed so many.  
  
“It was my fault, I killed selfishly for my sister’s sake telling myself I was protecting her from the rest of the world. I’m trying to make up for that… to not kill anymore but…I don’t know how to stop. All the violence, all those emotions that I killed with I just repressed them somewhere deep within me and it’s coming back to the surface. Ajimu-san and the others are right about me, I’m going to snap and kill again, maybe I should just kill myself so we can clear the next round of the killing game Junko and Kumagawa could be set free.”  
  
Zenkichi had been afraid to touch her at that point. In somebody as intensely strong as Mukuro, somebody who was several times stronger and closer to Medaka than himself, he saw nothing but fragility in that moment. Yet, he felt bad for thinking of such a girl as fragile. She was trying to face all of that head on. There was no way such a person could be fragile. So, even if she looked like glass at the moment, Zenkichi decided to smash through her. He brought his fist down again smacking her upside the head as well.  
  
“Ow... “ Ikusaba Mukuro deadpanned. “What was that for?”  
  
“If you kill yourself, that’s killing too! How is that any better?”  
  
“I…”  
  
“You said you don’t want Kumagawa to get hurt anymore, wouldn’t he be hurt if you were dead? I’m sure he values you as much as you do him.”  
  
“I… but… he’ll die if somebody doesn’t…it’s wrong to do nothing, I can’t do anything…”  
  
“You’re right that it’s wrong to do nothing, but who said you can’t do nothing. Even if all you can do is fight that’s something, look you’re ripped as hell.” Zenkichi suddenly grabbed her by her shirt, and lifted it up. Her stomach was completely washboard, even more shapely than his was. “Look at these abs, you’ve got way more abs than I do. You’ve got all these muscles, and you’re that good with a knife and you say you can’t do anything?”

Mukuro’s cheeks turned red probably from the fact that a boy was suddenly yelling in her face and lifting her shirt. “That’s just violence though, all violence is the same. There’s no such thing as killing to protect someone, that was just my delusion…”  
  
“You can fight to protect someone. You were just fighting to protect the wrong person is all.” Zenkichi dropped her shirt, and then slammed his forehead hard into hers. Probably because he wanted to stare in her eyes and it was Mukuro’s tendency to avert her eyes from everything, but he might have also just gotten worked up in the moment. “Listen! You were protecting your sister from the whole world, but what you really need to do is protect the whole world from your sister. Including your sister, protect her from herself. You can still protect. If it’s all your good for, then do it, don’t hold back!”

“I…” Mukuro stumbled back, and grasped at her own head. Porbably because a boy had just yelled in her face, and then headbutted her hard out of nowhere. “I can protect…I can still fight…There is something I can do…”  
  
“You can smile too.”  Zenkichi smiled at her. “I’m sure that’s what Naegi and Kumagawa would both want. Don’t make such a sad face, I can’t stand it when girls cry.”

  
Behind his smile however, he thought.  
_That was a lie._ _  
_ _I’m sure in this moment Naegi would tell you you didn’t have to fight._ _  
_ _He’d probably say something better than me._ _  
_ _He has a girlfriend after all._ _  
_ _He defeated his master._ _  
_ _I wish I had something other than Bravado to give you…_ _  
_ _But if there’s something you can do, you have to do something.  
Hm. _ _  
I hope Naegi’s not mad at me for punching his girlfriend, and then lifting her shirt up, and then headbutting her._

 _  
_  
  
 ♛

 

 _“Nobody can tell you the reason you were born for. I don’t know what you’re meant to live for. You need to find the answer yourself. Since you aren’t the president anymore, start from there. Observing won’t be enough. Vocations are decided by you, after you have lived through a multitude of valuable experiences, if you reach the same conclusion that you do want to make people happy, and that you wish to fight for that then I will root for you at that time. However, Medaka-chan! Never say such lonely things like, you have been born to be of use to strangers. Everyone here, doesn’t think of you as a stranger anymore.”_ _  
  
_

_That’s right._ _  
_ _Medaka-chan was lonely after all._ _  
_ _That’s why I wanted to pull her down from that tower of babel where she stood above everybody else._ _  
_ _I couldn’t stand the sight of her being lonely._ _  
  
_

Just as he was about to make it back to his cabin, he saw Pekoyama standing behind hers. She took swings with a bamboo sword over and over again. Hitoyoshi Zenkichi approached her with a smile. “Are you taking a few practice swings before bed?”  
  
“10,000.”  
  
“That’s way more than a few!”  
  
“It’s punishment.”  
  
“Punishment?”  
  
“I tried to reach out to Komaeda who was my classmate earlier today, and I couldn’t say a thing to reach him. Ikusaba-san who has been troubled all this time, said amazing things to me when I was in a similar state but I haven’t been able to help her. I think, because I’m a tool I wasn’t meant to understand others, but it’s still frustrating…”  
  
“Huh? A tool? Kumagawa’s the only tool around here.”  
  
“It’s not an insult, it’s just a metaphor. I was born to be in service of the Kuzuryuu clan, but I failed them every step of the way, and now I’m left the lone survivor. I thought I could make something out of my survival but I’m so damn useless.”  
  
Zenkichi had not been planning on making another speech, so he had to improvise in this moment. He still remembered the time at the trial, that Fuyuhiko had told him to protect his woman. He wondered if he had done a good job of protecting Medaka so far. He watched Pekoyama collapse from exhaustion in the sand but did not reach out to touch her this time like he had for his two other friends.  
  
He merely sat down next to her. “You know, we’re kind of similar, we’ve both had people we’ve been around since we were very young. That’s why, after all this time I still can’t think of Kuzuryuu as a murderer… because I don’t think I would have done anything different in that moment if it was Medaka-chan about to become a murderer in my place.”

  
“I was always by Fuyuhiko’s side you know… but I couldn’t understand him. I’m starting to think, a tool like me  just wasn’t meant to understand others. It’s the same with Hajime now, he’s going through so much and yet I don’t understand at all what’s going on. If I were a normal person like you perhaps I’d understand…”  
  
“No, listen up. I don’t know anything about the yakuza or anything, but a normal guy has a good grasp of what’s normal.” He looked at the way Pekoyama was sitting, even in her exhaustion she was folding her legs behind her and sitting in such an elegant and beautiful way. She was the very picture of classical beauty, he was sure her silver hair was shimmering in the moonlight right at this moment though Zenkichi would never notice that detail because he had eyes only for Medaka. “But it’s perfectly normal not to understand what’s going on in a teenage boy’s head. We’re weird, and we don’t make much sense. Not only that but it’s perfectly normal for a teenager to be useless as well. People make mistakes, they screw up, they get way out of their depth. Even though I’m just a normal person, even though I’ve always been by Medaka-chan’s side I don’t understand her much either. It’s impossible to understand someone fully so… what you had was probably just a normal relationship with Kuzuryuu.”  
  
“Normal?”  
  
“Yeah, normal. We’re in a killing game. The circumstances were dire, they weren’t normal, I’m sure if you guys had more time you would have worked it out eventually. But… you don’t have to force yourself to be useful to make up for something.”

_You’re contradicting yourself again._

“Don’t say something as lonely as ‘I was born to be in service to the Kuzuryuu’. I’m sure he wouldn’t want to hear you say that. Nobody here on this island considers you a tool anymore.”

 _You’re just repeating what you said in the past._ _  
_

“Hmmm… my surviving… might not be that bad, if it keeps allowing me to meet guys like you and Hinata-kun.”

Still, Pekoyama managed to smile. He wondered if he had effectively managed to fool her with his bravado. She stood up again and picked up her sword once more.  
  
“Are you still going to keep practicing?”  
  
“Of course, the king of trying too hard shouldn’t get on my back for practicing too much.”  
  
“Haha, I guess. Can you give me a cooler title than the king of trying too hard though? How about the devil king of effort?”  
  
“Being cool doesn’t suit you, just like it doesn’t suit Hajime.”  
  
Peko gave him a smile, that might have brought a blush to his face if he did not only have eyes for one girl.  
  
“Why did you go out of your way to be so kind to me, Hitoyoshi-kun?”  
  
“It’s no big deal. We gotta look out for each other, we’re glasses buddies after all.”  
  
“Do… do you even need to wear those glasses? I only see you wearing them half the time.”  
  
“They… they make me look cool alright.”

He turned around to finally go looking for Medaka again, only to see to that Hajime was hiding behind a corner. He would get upset at the other boy for eavesdropping if he had not been doing the exact same thing earlier.  
  
“What are you doing awake?” he said, approaching the other with a friendly smile.  
  
“I woke up and Komaeda wasn’t there…”  
  
“Well, you know he’s just like a cat. He probably wandered away because he wants you to go find him.” Zenkichi said, as he put a hand on the other boy’s back and began pushing him forward to encourage him.  
  
He really needed to get to Medaka’s side.  
There was something he wanted to tell her.  
Yet he could not leave it alone when there were other people so troubled in front of him.  
He could not run away from them.  
  
“Y-you think. Maybe, he didn’t want to sleep in the bed of another boy and he doesn’t want to see me so he just snuck away so he wouldn’t hurt my feelings.”  
  
“Hey, you know Komaeda since when has he been that considerate?” Zenkichi said, as he pushed Hinata forward again. “He’s troubled right now so go talk to him.”

 _You’ve done so much._ _  
_ _So much more for him in so much shorter a time._ _  
_ _Then I’ve ever done for him._ _  
_ _All I gave him was empty words to hang onto._

“T-thanks for talking to Peko. I’ve been wanting to talk to her, but I’m scared.”  
  
“She probably wants to talk to you. You know for such a rude guy you’re oddly shy and self conscious at times.”  
  
“Y-yeah… I… I don’t know about people, or how to people, but when did you get so people smart, Zenkichi?  You seem to get along with everybody so well.”  
  
“It’s nothing as special as you think. Medaka-chan’s never been good at understanding other people, so I just wanted to be better than her at something. It’s a petty reason actually. I doubt she even notices. Now off you go.” Zenkichi said, as he gave Hinata one last push forward and decided to let the boy walk the rest of the way on his own.

They had been talking a lot recently, but Zenkichi wondered if he said the right things. After all, he had been encouraging Hinata this entire time, but he kept most of his own fears to himself. The other boy had opened up to him, but he had not opened up to Hinata.  
  
Because to him, Hinata looked fragile in the same way that Komaeda did. There was something about the two of them that was alike, that was why Zenkichi had left Komaeda to him. He wondered if that was the right choice too, he felt like he was pushing off too much on Hinata.

 _Was I running?_ _  
_ _Did I run from Komaeda?_ _  
_ _Did I just tell him what he wanted to hear and run off?  
_ The questions would not stop, for the straight forward and pure hearted shonen protagonist. 

  
  
  
  
 ♛

 

When Zenkichi finally reached Medaka’s cabin, he found her laying on the deck of her cabin, her short hair and antennae on top of it drooping and messy. He walked over to her and poked her on the forehead, getting close to her and greeting her like it was no big deal because they were childhood friends after all.  
  
“Are you sulking?”  
  
“Mmmm.”  
  
“How strange, the girl whose entire personality is how much more optimism and energy she had than everybody else to be sulking and lying so pathetically on the floor.” Zenkichi said, as he continued to poke at her head.  
  
“Don’t be mean, Zenkichi.”  
  
He sat down next to her, crossing his legs to do so. “So, what is it my unreasonable childhood friend is sulking about this time?”  
  
“Kumagawa…”  
  
“Kumagawa? Should I be jealous?”  
  
“I miss him.”  
  
“I should definitely, definitely be jealous!” Zenkichi said raising his voice, already ready to run off and challenge Kumagawa to a fight over her. Kumagawa already had a girlfriend after all, he had already surpassed him in that aspect he did not need to suddenly become the protagonist of a harem manga.  
  
“Hmmm, no but… this entire time I’ve missed him. Kumagawa-kun was the most fun to fight with. He was my rival, but now the only thing he cares about is Junko. He only wants to fight with her.”  
  
Zenkichi reached forward and put a hand on her head, patting it softly. “I think you’ve been fighting too many times, you fight happy beast. Your brain’s got all rattled.”  
  
“Zenkiiiiichi, stoooop. Don’t make fun of me. You’re the only one who makes fun of me like this.” Medaka whined, before rolling over and looking up at him. She looked like a lioness, casually rolling around after a long day after the hunt, but her gaze was just as fierce as ever. “There was actually someone else, Enoshima always made fun of me too. It was surprisingly refreshing to be looked at like I was nothing but an annoyance to her? Is that weird?”  
  
“That’s weird, that’s definitely, definitely weird.”  
  
“When somebody asks is that weird, you are obligated to lie and deny that it is. Even I know that!”

“You want me to lie to my own childhood friend? How cruel of you, Medaka-chan. Do you really see me as such a man?”  
  
“No, I see you as everything.”  
  
“Oh…” Zenkichi loooked away, because his face had turned red. He scratched at the back of his head awkwardly, thinking that this was just another awkward moment shared between two childhood friends who were closer than friends but who were not yet lovers.  
  
He did not realize how serious Medaka had been, which is why he was teasing her lightly like normal, Zenkichi was a person who always tended to act normal after all.  
  
“You know, Junko said something odd. She said I would die in the fourth round. I still wonder, if that girl can really see the future. That analysis is the one ability I have avoided copying so far. Did she predict up until this moment, where Kumagawa-kun and her would be trapped away in some far off place.”  
  
“Huh…? Who cares what she predicted…” Zenkichi turned his head back slowly and he saw a knife had been drawn to Kurokami’s throat.  
  
“What are you?”  
  
“I’ve lived an extremely blessed life you know, even though I was somebody whose birth killed her mother. Kumagawa-kun is the opposite of that. He was finally starting to change, and grasp happiness and I feel nothing but jealous at losing him. I should… I should save him one more time because all I’m good for is saving others, then he can let go of me.”  
  
Before she could even bring the knife to her throat though, violently Zenkichi smacked it out of her hands. “What do you think you’re doing!”  
  
“How like you Zenkichi. You’re the only one who ever saves me like this.”  
  
“Obviously I haven’t saved you if you’re doing something as stupid as putting a knife to your throat! How many times have I told you not to go off on your own like that, or make giant leaps like that!” Zenkichi yelled in her face.  
  
“Perhaps… they’re all right. Seeking my own happiness in a situation like this is selfish, the old me that would save everyone would know what to do… but the current me, I cannot trust in myself anymore. I don’t know what Medaka-chan would do.”  
  
“Then, stop talking and trust this!”

Hitoyoshi Zenkichi suddenly moved forward, and kissed her on the lips. Not his first kiss, and not even his first kiss with Medaka. Things like kisses, and hugs were worthless to Medaka anyway because she was so overflowing with love for everybody.  
  
He did not even think that kissing her in this moment would make a difference to her. He did not think it would be different than anybody else kissing her, but still he wantd to kiss her. To kiss the girl that was always running ahead of him, to kiss the girl whose back he always chased, in this moment where she was next to him before she disappeared again.  
  
_I’m always by Medaka-chan’s side._ _  
_ _That’s a lie._ _  
_ _Even though we’re always together she feels so far ahead of me._ _  
_ _The moments we’re on the same page are so brief._ _  
_ _All I can do is run after her._ _  
_ _But that’s fine._ _  
_ _It’s not Medaka-chan’s fault she shines so brilliantly._

 _She’s my guiding light._ _  
_ _It’s only natural I would be the one to chase her._ _  
_ _  
_ Medaka did a strange thing, all the other kisses she gave were just pecks but in that moment she closed her eyes and turned her head against his. Her arms wrapped around him, grabbing him from behind as if to not let him get away. He had not been planning to kiss her this long, he was not sure what to do next. He had overestimated himself, he had gotten in over his head again.  
  
He looked at his own hands behind her, dangling there not knowing what to do with him. All he could do was follow Medaka’s lead and wrap his arms around her too. They were embracing, why were they embracing? He was just kissing her to encourage her. She leaned against him, and he felt the soft curves of her breasts pressing against his well muscled chest. That was right Medaka had the body of a girl after all, they both had human bodies, that were kissing and pressing against each other.  
_  
_ He could not stop what he had started, and she continued to kiss him. ALl he could do was return the kiss that Medaka had taken charge of. All he could do was continue to hold her gently, because she could disappear and run ahead of him at any moment.  
  
Their kiss was prolonged longer than either of them intended it, it was a kiss that felt like an eternity. Eventually, it was Medaka who drew back. She giggled, her face reddened, girlish. “Zenkichi... “  
  
“Y-you can’t complain. You kiss people all the time to encourage them. So a girl like you with no personal space sense can’t complain when somebody does it to you.” _  
_ _  
_ _“_ I wasn’t complaining.”  
  
“Oh…”  
  
“Zenkichi… When I close my eyes, I see my sister get executed again. I’m scared to sleep alone. Would you stay the night?”  
  
“I… I can’t…”  
  
“Why? We shared the bed when we were kids.”  
  
“We have to grow up eventually you know.”  
  
“But… I want things to stay the same, even when we’re old. Even when we’re grandma and grandpa, I want to have fun like this.” Medaka said, looking at him with child like eyes. As mature as his best friend and not yet girlfirend had always been, there was a part of her that remained so childish, because no adult had ever treated her as a kid. Nobody had ever given her a hard time except him.  
  
Zenkichi, wanted to be with her more than anybody else. Wanted to be by her side. Yet, he was always distancing himself from her. Always coming up with ways he needed to earn being by her side. In that one moment though, he acquiesced.

“I… I am always beside Medaka-chan. From past to present, that has been my manifest. That will never change.”

Of course, his habit of always relying on bravado is what had gotten him in this current situation. He was now awkwardly trying to take up as little of the bed as possible, while Medaka was sprawled out next to him.  
  
The two of them were friends, so they had been talking about the kind of nonsense that friends chatted about when they were alone most of the night. Zenkichi had read about bed sharing as a trope in several romance novels before (he was manly enough to admit his love of romantic comedies) and even romance manga and yet in person it was much more awkward than it was romantic.  
  
He had left his glasses on the bedside table, and with his bare eyes was continually sneaking glances at her. Her body was perfectly shaped, curved and gentle against his. Not only that but Medaka had been nothing but uneasy lately, but now that he decided to spoil her she had been smiling and giggly the entire time next to him.  
  
He was afraid to move a single muscle and touch her on accident, when they were so close and in this bed together, and at the same time he wanted nothing more than to be next to her warmth. To feel Medaka’s soft body against his own. Some part of him told him that Medaka might want that too, but he was still a coward after all when it came to her.  
  
For some reason fighting dangerous people like Munakata and Kumagawa was far easier, than just wanting to cuddle with his best friend. His more than best friend. His maybe some day girlfriend.  
  
Medaka finally spoke up again. “I must be disappointing to you, Zenkichi. You went through all of that effort to free me from the shackles of my servitude to all of humanity, and yet… I still have not found who I am yet. You tried so hard defeating me to save me, and yet I don’t know…”  
  
Zenkichi saw the melancholy look take over Medaka’s face again and could not bear it. He knew he was unworthy, and he had tried to resist for as long as he could, but he only had a normal amount of resistance. It was normal to give up after a certain point. “I didn’t do it for you, I did it for myself. I wanted to defeat you just so I could confess to you.”  
  
“What…?”  
  
“Anshin’in-san convinced me to betray you and defeat you because she knew of my feelings for you, that’s it. It wasn’t anything as noble as wanting to free you, and I didn’t do it all for you.”

  
“Huh..? Really? Why?”  
  
“I thought you would leave me behind if I didn’t. I was always afraid of that.”

  
“You… you thought I’d leave you behind? That’s mean of you.“  
  
“Yeah… and I’ve always, wanted to become a person who is worthy of you. I’m in love with you, Medaka-chan.” Sitting next to her, because he was unable to bear it, he had said it. The window was open and a new breeze blew in. The air tasted of salt. It was a bitter and melancholy taste. He had wanted to confess to her somewhere beautiful, but they were stuck in the middle of this pitch black island. He had wanted her to find her happiness, but there was only despair on this island. Yet, still he spoke his feelings finally. It was only normal for him to be so weak in front of the girl he liked. He reached his hand up, and covered his face because he was becoming too embarrassed. “Medaka-chan I love… your red distant looking eyes, fingers so rough from always getting in fights, that excited smile of yours, the way you laugh with your whole body, and I have always, always been, ever since we were little. But.. not everything about you. I always hated, how you looked at everybody else, and me the same way. I wanted to be special to you…I just wanted to marry you one day, something normal and boring like that.”

 

He stood up then, leaving her there. He did not even give her a chance to reply. He left her, and left the door open, because he could not take it anymore. He could not take how little he was able to do for her, he could not even keep quiet about his feelings for her sake.

  
_Anshin’in-san._ _  
_ _Do you think I was able to change?_ _  
__In the end I still don't know if I was able to become a main character._

Outside he saw, a white silhouette.  
Ajimu Najimi.

Hitoyoshi Zenkichi smiled at her. “There, now I don’t have any regrets!” He said, folding his arms behind his head like he was just a carefree normal boy.

 

 ♛

  
In the present, Hitoyoshi Zenkichi finished his story.  
  
“What’s with that romantic garbage? That doesn’t explain how you got here at all!”  
  
Hitoyoshi Zenkichi frowned. “Kumagawa, your girlfriend is mean! Tell her to be nice!”

『Junko, be nice.』  
  
“Never.”

『Once again I’ve lost.』  
  
“Don’t give up that easily! That’s why I can’t stand you!” Zenkichi said, as he sat down in the middle of them. “And to think after I came here to help you two out… really, what a pain. Why does an ordinary guy like me always end up helping out so many extraordinary people? If they were so extraordinary they could probably sort out their own problems for once.”


	38. Smile at Despair in the Name of Laughter (10 Determination x Stubbornness)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've been reading Jujitsu Kaisen a lot lately I'd reccommend it. I referenced it for fun. Kizumonogatari reference this chapter, too.

『 _According to Ajimu-san this is a sickening story._ 』  
『 _It’s not that I disagree with her, too much of anything would become sickening. Too much love, too much happiness, even too much sugar, not even she could stand watching this over and over again._ 』  
『 _It’s not that I disagree with her, too much of anything would become sickening. Too much love, too much happiness, even too much sugar, not even she could stand watching this over and over again._ 』  
『 _But I can’t possibly call this story sickening, because this is the story where I met Junko._ 』  
『 _As to what kind of story it is. I dunno. I’d have to think from the beginning._ 』  
『 _This is a story that starts with a terrible tragic twist, that ruined what would have been an otherwise happy ending. Those two suicidal bored girls, saved from their own suicide Ajimu-san and Junko._ 』  
『 _Why did things end up that way? Perhaps because I tried to be a more important character in this story than I should have been, my very presence summoned this unavoidable unlucky end._ 』  
『 _In any case I must have had terrible luck - of course in the same way that I was unable to avoid that bad luck, even if I somehow had, I doubt someone else would have met that fate._ 』  
『 _It actually seems extremely irresponsible to talk about my bad luck here._ 』  
『 _Maybe I should just be up front and say that it was my fault._ 』  
『 _In the end, I think it was only a chain of events made possible because I was me._ 』  
『 _You could say it was stupid._ 』  
『 _In fact I think I was stupid._ 』  
『 _And it was due to the stupidity of yours truly that I ended up experiencing this hell._ 』  
『 _I was a woefully unsuited observer, and yes a stupid one._ 』  
『 _That must be it… This is a stupid story._ 』  
  
That night he had fallen asleep with this thought. Enoshima Junko, “island of the bay”, and “shield” coupled with “child”. To him it was an incredibly lonely sounding name. No man was an island, but Enoshima Junko was one. She had grown up entirely self sufficient, everything she wanted to accomplish she could do on her own. Therefore she had no need for others, she was so disinterested in them she did not even need to see them as people, whether she did or not they would always move to her whims. It was no wonder she had grown up to be such a sheltered child. There was no need for her to ever grow up at all, ever mature, because she was already smarter than the adults right from the moment she became self aware. She was somebody who needed nothing at all.

Yet. He had stupidly thought she needed him. He saw the sight of her, standing alone on that balcony, and foolishly he reached out for her image as it already began to disappear. He had wondered again and again why he could not reach her in that moment, as the scene replayed in the back of his head ad nauseum. Perhaps because he was not reaching out for Enoshima Junko himself but the image of her. The image of a lonely girl, standing alone on that balcony. He just did not want that girl to be alone, so he reached out. But a physical person cannot reach out and touch an image. Images are beautiful, they record a single moment and stretch it out to reach eternity. People are quite ugly, and they are all but temporary things, the moment you reach out to a person they may as well have disappeared.  
  
What he reached out for was just his own perception of Enoshima Junko. A lonely girl. He thought all she wanted was a companion to live out her life in misfortune with, somebody to be able to smile together with in even the worst of circumstances. That image he reached for, it was inverted, a reflection, it was just the image of his own loneliness. In the end, he did not know her at all, he did not even know if she really was lonely, it had just seemed to him that way. He had just projected his image onto her.  
  
He tried to reach her hand, but her fingers brushed by him as if he was slipping through a holographic image. Perhaps there was never an Enoshima Junko to hold in the first place, perhaps all she had ever existed was, was as a projection, what she projected onto others, and what others projected onto her, a versatile projector that could spin through many types of film, but now he saw spots appearing on the screen and the image burning away as the projector had run out of film. What would be left after that? When the performance was over, and the crowd shuffled out of the seats. He did not know know. He had no idea what Enoshima Junko would look like then, the idea scared him a little bit, but he wanted to see it still.

Which is why even when that image of her disappeared in front of him, he threw himself over the balcony and reached just a bit further until his fingers secured around her wrist. Even if he had misunderstood her all along, even if the Enoshima Junko he had gotten to know until this point was a fake he would reach out for her anyway. As characters they were written entirely differently, he was a sympathetic villain, with sympathetic motivations and a sympathetic backstory and she acted as a villain without sympathetic motivations or a sympathetic backstory. Sympathizing with her was ultimately pointless, as there was nothing there to sympathize with, but nobody knew pointlessness and nothingness better than him. He had decided to strive anyay, to reach out anyway. To reach past the image, yet he still did not understand.

『 _So, why?_ 』  
『 _Why?_ 』

『 _Why?_ 』  
『 _Why, Junko?_ 』  
  
She dangled from his wrist, looking at him with a mask of unreadable emotion on her face. Even in this what might be the last moments of her life she could not peel that mask off. His fingers curled and dragged into the wood of the balcony, leaving streaks. He looked up and saw in the background, several spots and streaks of light appear against the pitch black sky. At first, he thought they were just scratches in the film playing, or sun damage, until he remembered this was reality after all and those were fireworks. He had mistaken the booming fireworks in the background for the sound of his own heart pounding in that moment. They were both equally loud, but even as colorful and explosive as the fireworks were he could not see the. All color in the world belonged to Enoshima Junko in that moment, the melancholy look in her as she dangled from the point wherehis hand grabbed his wrist had washed out the colors of the world, and if she were to disappear from that moment the person who had taught him there was beauty in the world after all because a world that was without beauty could never have produced someone like her, then all the color in the world would disappear with her.  
  
『 _I’m serious, so for once please don’t laugh._ 』  
『 _Flowers, stars, all beautiful things in this world..._ 』  
『 _They’re metaphors for you._ 』  
『 _A world that produced a girl like you could never be that bad._ 』  
『 _So why, Junko? Why do you want to leave that badly? To exit the stage?_ 』  
  
His entire body tensed and bent over the railing. He was bent so low, that he looked like he was begging the heavens for forgiveness. Forgiveness for what - probably having been born. His grip was weak, and Enoshima Junko did not reach out back for him. She merely hung there in suspension, as if this were the hanged man’s noose and she neither resisted nor aggravated it, just deciding to accept the fact she was hanging in serenity. Even if she had accepted it though, he would not.  
  
The image of Junko in front of him, hanging there he rejected it. His eyes squeezed tight, and the tears that were forming in them pushed all the way to the corners as he rried to think, tried to understand as his timeframe to do so shrunk more and more in front of him.  
  
『 _Why did it come to this?_ 』  
『 _Where did I go wrong?_ 』  
『 _Would things have gone differently if I had the courage to text her while we were apart?_ 』  
『 _If I had never gone to Medaka-chan’s side?_ 』  
『 _If on that day she rejected me, I had stayed and argued my point instead of running away?_ 』  
『 _If we hadn’t met…?_ 』  
  
Kumagawa Misogi saw the image in his mind, of Enoshima Junko wearing a Hope’s Peak uniform, tan, buttoned up, with a red ribbon in her hair walking past him wearing the black and gold embroidered uniform of Sandbox academy. If he had just transferred to Sandbox like he was supposed to they never would have met, Junko’s life would have gone on plan, and she would have lived a little bit longer past this point, at least she would have ended the world first. How long would that take? A year? A few months? How many days would that buy?  
  
In that moment just to keep Junko living a little longer, he regretted ever meeting her, and would sacrifice all of their precious memories together. Were they precious to her even? Were they only precious to him? Even if it was the same ending, just delayed by a few minutes more. He just wanted her existence to continue a little bit longer than this.  
  
He reached forward with his second hand, completely giving up his footing, as he tried to hook it around the wooden posts of the balcony. Both of his hands secured around her.

『”Junko! Grab… the… R… Railing!』  
  
He begged her.  
  
『Please.』  
  
Yet his words did not reach, whatever far off place, whatever island that Junko existed on. His words could not penetrate the mask on her face, it could not reach past the curtains and expose the girl behind them.  
  
『 _I’ve got to be strong and hang on a little bit longer and pull her up… or she’ll fall… fall down… down…_ 』

『 _Junko…?_ 』  
『 _Don’t go..._ 』  
『 _If only..._ 』  
『 _If only  I had faced everyone head on like I should have._ 』  
『 _I’m so useless._ 』  
『 _I can’t hold on to one girl._ 』  
『 _My ams are giving out._ 』  
『 _My leg hurts._ 』  
『 _I think I remembered I prayed to god for the first time in that moment._ 』  
『 _That if I could not have a future with Junko, then take me instead._ 』  
『 _That was the exchange I asked for, but we both ended up falling._ 』  
『 _I can’t help but wonder._ 』  
『 _If until that point, I had worked much harder in life._ 』  
『 _If I had faced everything head on, and gotten stronger._ 』  
『 _If I had really tried..._ 』  
『 _I thought I was trying, but I must not have. I thought I was trying with everything, but there must have been a way to try harder before that point._ 』  
『 _Hey Junko, back then if I had done all that, then maybe… just maybe…I could have held onto your had in that moment…  I could have lifted you up from that balcony all on my own, and if that had happened, wouldn’t we all be happy together right now?_ 』

He saw both of his hands, holding firmly onto Junko’s. Yet, he heard a crack, something had broken and suddenly the whole world inverted. Falling, they were falling together, he could not think of what to do in time so he only wrapped his arms around her.  
  
The last image he saw, Kumagawa Misogi, Enoshima Junko, Ikusaba Mukuro, Naegi Makoto, Tsumuiki Mikan, all of them walking together in their school uniform groups in a line. Makoto had his arms around Mukuro, Mikan was worrying about something, and Komaeda patted her on the head. Junko and Kumagawa sat in the background, observing it all together, even if the only way they could interact was from a distance, from the very edges, they were both smiling together. All of them, all of them, all of them together. Yet, the image of them fell apart, they all fell apart as the image was shattered.

Then, Kumagawa and Junko plummeted and they smashed through that image, and fell upon the surface of the water. The moment of impact felt like they had fallen into something hard and broke it, like falling straight through and shattering glass.

『 _I always knew.._ 』  
『 _I always knew..._ 』  
『 _Always, always, always..._ 』  
『 _What did I know? What the hell is it?_ 』

『 _Who’s fault is it?_ 』  
『 _In truth, I..._ 』  
『 _In truth, I..._ 』  
『 _In truth, I..._ 』  
『 _The person that really annoyed me._ 』  
『 _THe person I really resented._ 』  
『 _The person whose fault this was..._ 』

Kumagawa Misogi.

Suffered from acute flashbacks and hallucinations that consisted of hearing voices that were not there and occasionally seeing a projection of himself, due to traumatic stress on a mind that had also been stressed to the point of breaking several times in the past.  
  
As he was stressed, again and again, and traumatized further by his time in the killing game these episodes approached each other in frequency. At this moment he was having an episode, and unwillingly lived through the stress of a memory of the past. Slowly, like water draining out of his head through his ears, that perception slipped away and he was brought back to a foggy reality.  
  
That was right, he was watching those two when he drifted away, when he dissociated from himself. He had been watching Enoshima Junko and Hitoyoshi Zenkichi argue. Even though he missed most of the argument, the two of them were still standing right in front of him. He blinked, reassessing the current situation.  
  
“So wait, you’re here to help us? So you brought food right?”  
  
“Yeah, it’s right here…” Hitoyoshi Zenkichi reached into his pockets and then pulled out nothing but thin air. “Huh? Wait! That bear must have stolen it from my pockets when I got into the funhouse ride.”  
  
“Useless. Useless. Useless.”  
  
『Junko, I know you’re hungry but that’s no reason to go all Dio Brando on him.』Kumagawa re-enetered the scene that was being performed in front of him with his first line, he smiled at the other two.  
  
“I guess we have no choice. We have to eat Zenkichi now, otherwise he won’t be useful to us.” Junko said, leaning on his shoulder from where she was sitting. She had not even noticed how much he had dissociated for the current situation for a moment there, but he was not surprised by that she was rather self absorbed after all.

『You can’t just say ‘we have no choice’ Junko, that’s bad storytelling. Everything is a choice, even if he just sit here and do nothing until we starve to death that’s a choice.』

  
“Misogi, you have a good grasp of storytelling rules, for an idiot I mean. Fine, if everything is a choice than I choose to eat him.”

『Well as long as you acknowledge that’s your choice, that’s fair. We’re defined by our choices, right now, you’ll be defined by your choice to eat Zenkichi-chan, it’s like that old saying ‘you are what you eat.’』

“Hey, how about you two don’t casually discuss cannibalizing me while I’m right here!” Hitoyoshi Zenkichi said, slamming his foot hard down on the ground in front of them. He sighed. He had come all the way here and willingly sentenced himself to the fate of being imprisoned to help both of them out of their trouble after all, but those two…  
  
They were trouble incarnate.

『He’s right, we both need to work on our communication skills. How do you feel about being eaten, Zenkichi-chan?』

  
“Yeah that’s right, we’re both communicating things more, this is positive character growth. Tell us how you feel. Let’s talk things out before dinner.”  
  
“Obviously, I feel bad about it!” He snapped at both of them. “Besides, nobody needs to eat anybody. I have a plan.”

 

 ♛

  
Up and down, up and down.  
  
Kumagawa Misogi’s world shifted up and down. It was nothing that extreme as the time he fell out of the balcony. He was just being forced to do push ups, with Zenkichi on the right of him doing the same at a much faster rate.  
  
『How is this supposed to be helping us not starve to death?』Kumagawa Misogi said, as he slowly completely another push up. There was a reason he was doing push ups much slower, and that push up was the incredible weight on his shoulders, and the incredible burden he was forced to carry on his back.

“Well, don’t worry about the small stuff!” Zenkichi said happily with a carefree smile as he did another push up.  
  
That burden’s name was Enoshima Junko. Enoshima was an incredible person, he thought so at least. “Yeah, Misogi don’t worry about the small stuff.” She said as she sat on his back while he did push ups. “Gosh, are you so weak you can’t even do push ups with a lithe, and spritely model like me weighting you down?” She said as she moved her heel forward and dug it into the back of his head to motivate him more.  
  
『 _Yeah, she really is incredible._ 』Kumagawa Misogi thought again, before he snapped back at her. 『Your existence is the opposite of small! You’re the least small existence to ever exist, you’re big enough to devour the entire world.』

“Are you calling me fat?” Junko repeated again. As if she had suddenly in half a second developed some kind of sensitivity or lower esteem for herself. Spoiler warning, she hadn’t, she was merely retorting to his quip.  
  
“That’s no way you speak about your woman, Kumagawa. Just for that you have to do one hundred more push ups.” Zenkichi said angrily, as he continued to do push ups at Kumagawa’s side.  
  
Kumagawa felt like the funhouse was more of a prison meant to contain them than ever. The reason? It was incredibly petty. As long as Zenkichi was here, his two person conversation dynamic with Junko would be ruined. Their banter would be stalled by the interference of an unnecessary third wheel. He could no longer quip to his heart’s content, and because of that his role as the designated quipper had become chains to shackle him. 『If you’re going to play human motivational poster again yo could at least explain why we’re doing this!』  
  
"Hmmmm… Well, if we’re gonna train it’s more fun with three people then with two, right?”  
  
“Yeah, don’t you want to train with me, Misogi?” Junko Enoshima once again parroted, but only to mock him.  
  
『What you’re doing is the farthest thing from training! How are you exhausting yourself at all right now?』  
  
“I’m putting up with your exhausting presence right now, aren’t I?”

『...』Kumagawa steamed right then. In the manga adaptation of this moment he was sure his character would be drawn with steam coming out of his ears. Though, if he were honest this moment would probably never warrant a manga adaptation as nobody would want to read a manga focusing on such a petty character.  
  
His intenral monologue was interrupted by Junko speaking from behind him, because she was sitting on his back. “Ugh, you’re so loud. No wonder you’re exhausting.”

『What? But I didn’t say anything?』  
  
“I’m talking about your breathing and your heartbeat.”

『Hold on, what you’re doing is telling me to die? Zenkichi-chan come on, why don’t you call her out when she’s being unpleasant to me?.』  
  
“Well, you’re probably someone who deserves people’s unpleasantness.” Zenkichi said, “Walking around like the human embodiment of spite. That’s just getting what you’re asking for.”

『Awe, what gives you’re supposed to be the generic nice guy protagonist and I’m supposed to be the nasty one. Why isn’t anybody acting the way they’re supposed to?』  
  
“Don’t worry Misogi, I’m still nasty.” Junko said, as she leaned forward and reached to Kumagawa’s ear to blow on it in a sensitive spot right below a scar Ajimu Najimi had left years ago,  a way that sent an entire chill down his body and made him collapse from the push up he had been attempting. She really was nasty in both definitions of the word. A true, blue double entendre!

“Anyway, listen up! When a hero has to fight with a big enemy, they train, train, then train some more! It’s like a training arc in a shonen manga. That’s what this training is! It’s important for a hero like me. So you guys can be like dper dog, cat, or horse by my side to help me be the hero!”

『Oh, Junko did you hear that Zenkichi-chan thinks you’re a good cat too.』

“Oh, Misogi did you hear that, Hitoyoshi-kun thinks you’re a good horse too.”

『Hey.』  
“Hey.”  
  
“You two really are the same brand of unpleasant, it makes you weirdly suited for each other.” Zenkichi muttered to himself.

『You had to know coming here would end badly for you, Zenkichi-chan. Why are you being so difficult? Do you need to play the hero that badly, you’d even try to rescue the two most hated people on the island?』

“How long are you going to run away?” Kumagawa who was lying on the floor looked up to see Zenkichi had stopped doing push ups, and stood up in front of him. From the angle it would be easiest ot look down on him, but Zenkichi was trying to meet his eyes.

『...What?.』  
  
“Your mask is coming down… I can tell just by looking at you. You’re not the terrifying person the others think you are… You’re just a coward.”

『...』  
  
“Hey, what’s your enemy?”

『...Huh? My enemy?』

  
“You don’t need to tell me what it is.  As long as you know it for yourself. SO how long are you going to run away from your enemy?”

『Run away?』Kumagawa was so dumbfounded by Zenkichi’s piercing words, that he resorted to just repeating back what Zenkichi said in the form of a question. He had fallen all the way to the likes of Hinata’s level.  
  
“Yeah, you’ve been running away. It’s pretty pathetic. But… if you want to stand against it, even a little. I’ll train with you! So you can be strong!”

『...』     Kumagawa knew he was being provoked. What gave him pause was the fact that he had been wondering the exact same thing earlier. Whose fault was this? Why was he trapped on this island? Kumagawa liked to play the fool, he was sometimes so good at tricking others he could even outfox himself. Enoshima Junko was a mastermind who could plot everything, even the future to turn out in her favor. However, Kumagawa Misogi was a much more petty existence, a trickster who could rely on tricks and lies to bring about an unpredictable future.  Yet, Kumagawa who considered his only good asset to be how much he could disguise his true self from others, was always seen through not by Kurokami Medaka, but Hitoyoshi Zenkichi her boring nobody of a sidekick.『Fine whatever… The only way to deal with idiots like you is to give up and just keep nodding.』  
  
“I would have respected you more if you put up more of a fight.” Zenkichi said, smiling at him through gritted teeth as a dog might.  
  
『Then it’s a good thing I gave up, because the last thing I want is to be respected.』Kumagawa said, as he redoubled his efforts to do push ups, even with Enoshima Junko sitting on his back. She cupped her chin in her hand, and looked to be enjoying herself at least. At least his suffering was amounting to something. Even if it was nothing more than the cackle of a witch ringing in his ears as he pushed himself beyond the point of exhaustion.

 ♛

 

After a day of exhausting training for the both of them, Kumagawa exhausting himself trying to keep up with Hitoyoshi Zenkichi and Junko exhausting herself watching from the sidelines and laughing at both boys, the two of them collapsed onto the bed. They took one luxury room for themself, and Hitoyoshi Zenkichi took the other for himself.  
  
The two of them were simply lying next to each other, on their backs, looking at the ceiling hands on their stomachs. It was an oddly peaceful arrangement between the two of them. However, Kumagawa Misogi hated the word peace as much as Tybalt, and so endeavored to sew discord. At least that was how he saw it within his own internal monologue… who knew an idiot could be so pretentious.

『Junko…? So I’ve been thinking about this training.』  
  
“Oh no, all that shonen manga you’ve read has finally rotted your brain.”

『You can’t rot what’s already rotted. Why do you think I get along with the evil queen so well? Because I was always a rotten apple right from the start.』  
  
“Oh, that line was passable.”

『Just passable?』  
  
“Oh, that line didn’t give me a headache upon hearing it like your voice usually does.”

『I’ve been seriously downgraded!』Kumagawa quipped back. He was so much happier, now that Zenkichi was not around. He had been freed. He could quip to his hearts content. Kumagawa Misogi was firing on all cylinders. 『I was thinking about training… and… would you allow me to touch your breasts?』  
  
“What an unpredictable leap in logic you’ve made-”

Kumagawa scooted closer to her in what seemed like the blink of an eye.『Your brea-』  
  
“I heard you. Please explain to me, because even my supercomputer brain can’t process an idiot’s logic, how is that training?”

『Mental training. We haven’t seen the mastermind yet, but if she was somebody whose able to trap you here then she must at least be on your level in more way than one. She must have incredible assets』  
  
“Hmm, are we just jumping to the conclusion that the mastermind is a girl too? This is more than a leap, you’ve pole vaulted to that conclusion.”  

『Well of course. The mastermind is always a girl in this genre, because… girls are smarter, right?』

“Much smarter than you at least. Yes, but the assets you were talking about weren’t her brains, were you?”

『Yes. It is most likely beyond even what you can predict. She has a bust beyond even your wildest prediction. When we confront the mastermind, I am deathly afraid that I’ll be distracted by her voluptuous bosom and be defeated because of it. While she’s monologues about despair or whatever, those breasts of hers will probably be swaying as wildly as her whims. So, in order to counteract that mental manipulation, I need to build up a tolerance to a woman’s breasts.』  
“Sure.”  
  
『I thought you might counter with that remark which is why I prepared in my head - wait, what, sure?』Kumagawa suddenly sat up in surprise. It was a game to both of them, or so he thought. The two fools had fooled around plenty times before so to speak, but it was a game and therefore a game required challenges, rules, set up and pay off. For Junko to agree so suddenly, that was like she almost wanted it outside of their usual games, like she wanted it for real. That thought was dizzying enough to make the whole world shake, and yet he saw Enoshima Junko sit up next to him and reach underneath her shirt to start removing her bra. Black, with red polka dots, with laces around the edges. She pulled it off and threw it to the side of the bed. It was probably unnecessary to describe what kind of bra she was wearing, but it was necessary to sink into the mind of a teenage boy.  
  
Kumagawa almost forgetting what kind of genre he was in for a moment, and believing such a romantic scene would be played straightforwardly, reached out with a shaking hand. Only to fall short of reaching for hope once again as the door suddenly slammed open.  
  
“I heard a noise! Do you think this place is haunted!” Zenkichi said, as he suddenly came barreling in the room.

『Yes, so please go offer yourself to that spirit for us in a noble heroic sacrifice oh great hero and die!』Kumagawa suddenly snapped at him, hurling all his unpleasantness at the other boy at once.  
  
“W...wait, so this place is really haunted!” Zenkichi said as he moved even farther into the room, instead of running away like Kumagawa wanted.  
  
Junko who still had her uniform shirt on, simply buttoned it back up and decided to watch the two boys as an observer again. That was the role she played best after all even if the mastermind tried to cast her as one of the two bit character actors in this game.

『What do you mean haunted? It’s just the three of us here, how could you have possible heard a noise?』  
  
“I heard it! I heard it for real!” Zenkichi said, if he really were a puppy rather than just the anthropomorphization of one, his whole body including his tail would be trembling in that moment. “In the hallway, there was a voice muttering over and over again ‘Saaaaaalmoooon flaaaaakes are deeeeeeeliccciiioouuuuuuuus. Eaaaaat saaaaaaaardiiiiiinesss.”

『That’s probably just Monokuma-chan.』  
  
Junko tilted her head to one side. “Yeah, what’s so scary about Monokuma-sensei? He’s so cute and marketable, he wouldn’t be so marketable if children were afraid of his face.”  
  
“I don’t know the whole child murdering thing seems like a pretty big turn off.” Zenkichi suddenly dove into the bed right between them, still gripping a pillow right between his arms. Even if they wanted to stop him, neither of them were particularly strong enough to. “I’m not taking any chances. If this place is haunted then there’s no way I”m facing a ghost alone I’m dragging you two with me.”

『Some hero you are.』  
  
“A hero needs to have fears and weaknesses to overcome, otherwise where’s the struggle in their arc?”

『You’re not allowed to talk Meta, Zenkichi-chan. You’re supposed to be our straight man. Now that you're here the role has fallen to you.』  
  
“It kind of rubbed off on me in all the time I spent training with Anshin’in-san.”

『Then strugle to overcome your fears!』  
  
“I’ll do it later!” Zenkichi said, procrastinating as he hid in between the two of them. “How about just for tonight the three of us have a sleepover?”

Enoshima Junko sighed. “Well, fine. But don’t get too close to me otherwise I might catch your virginity.”

“Virginity isn’t a thing you can catch like the common cold! Wait… if that’s the case, does that mean you’re not?” Zenkichi suddenly spat out at her, but instead of an answer she shoved another pillow in his face.  
  
Enoshima Junko giggled. “Upupu. Well, at least you’ve got your rival Hitoyoshi-kun beat in one aspect, MIsogi.”

『That’s hardly a victory. After all Zenkichi-chan has a nice girl like Medaka-chan and I have...』  
  
“Choose your next words carefully, MIsogi.”

『Not a girl, but a laughing piece of skin hanging over a bunch of lies.』  
  
“Wow, you really did choose your words carefully. What a cool compliment!” Enoshima Junko said, smiling as her hair she was currently wearing down due to the fact that they were about to sleep fell over her body and obscured one eye.  
  
They decided on this sleep arrangement between the three of them, Kumagawa, Enoshima, and the third wheel, to be Kumagawa in the middle with Zenkichi on one side and Junko on the other side.

『There’s no way I can fall asleep like this.』Kumagawa complained. The only good thing about slowly starving to death had been for the first time in a long time, he could share a bed with Junko again. However, the universe liked to prove Kumagawa wrong every time he opened his mouth, so Kumagawa was in fact the first to fall asleep.  
  
“Upupupu. So, why did you really come here? You know it’s dangerous, right? And don’t spout that shonen crap at me, I’m more of a seinen kind of girl anyway.”  
  
“Why do you care?” Hitoyoshi Zenkichi looked back at her. In the low light of the funhouse, the only thing he could make out of her face was her smile.

 _Those two are so alike._ _  
_ _The frivolity._ _  
_ _And the sinister strength that lies in its very depths.  
_

“Well, I don’t really care because to be honest you’re not my type of protagonist, puppy boy. The ‘I’m going to struggle through to the end with hard effort’ type seems to be more Ajimu-san’s flavor than mine. But I am bored you know, and you know what they say boredom killed the cat.”  
  
“I thought it was curiosity that killed the cat?”  
  
“Why are you talking about killing cats anyway? For a pure hearted guy, that’s some surprisingly R-18 content dark thoughts you’re having there. Do you have a hidden violent side I don’t know about?”  
  
“D-dark thoughts? Wait, you’re just twisting my words around you’re the one who brought it up.”  
  
“Obviously I’m twisting your words around, that’s the point. I’m the silver tongue conniving one, and you’re the straightforward and true protagonist. You’re supposed to try to see through my deceptions and reach the truth.”  
  
“That sounds like a lot of effort.”  
  
“You’re literally the effort guy! That’s your thing!”  
  
“Do you always lecture people on what roles they’re supposed to play, I could see how that gets annoying fast.”  
  
“Like you should talk about lecturing people, you’re always talking down to people trying to motivate them…” Truthfully, Enoshima Junko had never had an extended conversation or even acknowledged Hitoyoshi Zenkichi up until this point. If she had to pick a reason, it was probably the same reason she ignored someone like Komaeda. Of the try hard trio, apparently only someone like Kumagawa Misogi was her flavor.

No, she knew why. Kumagawa Misogi was the only one like her. He was the only one she could see herself in, and the other way around as well.

“I already told you my reason for coming here. If someone’s weak and suffering, there’s no way you can just leave them!”  
  
“Weak and suffering? Me? Lolwut?”  
  
“No, your case is a little different.” Zenkichi quieted down, and chose his next words carefully. “For you, it’s more like you’re lacking in something.”

“Lacking in what?”  
  
“You remind me of Kumagawa of the past. Did I ever tell you what he was like back then? Whether it’s an evil man or a monster, regardless of who so long as they’re human the open minded Kurokami Medaka of the past will accept them. But there was actually one guy who wasn’t accepted by her. That man’s name was Kumagawa. He was neither evil or wicked. He wasn’t even like a still river that got dirty over time. However, he was the kind of guy that absorbed all the negative aspects of people. Defeat, he was the guy that lost to everyone in everything, he was a born loser, and that’s why he was stronger than everyone else.”  
  
“Stronger?”  
  
“Yeah, hasn’t Kumagawa said as much. It’s not those who have everything who are the strongest, the strongest are those who have nothing. That’s how he would phrase it at least. He would hurt people as easily as you and I need to breath. His need to destroy things was as trong as our need to eat. He was the type that seriously contemplated killing every human on the face of the planet, himself included. He would fail so universally his entire life was a joke! With her unbelievable influence, Medaka-chan who was still in middle school tried to sympathize with Kumagwa but… well to make a long story short, Medaka-chan forced him to leave the school. To tell you the truth, seeing Medaka-chan fall to anger like everybody else did was a very pleasing thing for me.”  
  
“How petty of you.”  
  
“I know. Hey wait a moment, you’re exactly the kind of person who would be pleased by that! Anyway, the Kumagawa of that time would have been exactly like you, but… I don’t think that’s the case anymore for him at least. When Kumagawa was kicked out of that school, when he spent three years alone, when he fought with Medaka-chan for the second time, slowly he began to change.”  
  
“He began to change?”  
  
“He grew up. I don’t really get the difference between the two of you totally, but… you hate the world just like he did didn’t you?”  
  
“I don’t hate the world, I’m just indifferent to it. I’m unrelated.”

“That’s probably what you’re lacking in. You can’t grow up, because you were never challenged to. That’s why people like you, grow up to be huge kids, huh?”

 _Grow up._ _  
_ _What does that mean._ _  
_ _The only thing I ever saw in the future waiting for me was my own death._ _  
_ _I don’t even comprehend that._ _  
_ _I can see the individual words, but they make no sense in sequence._ _  
_ _What would a grown up Enoshima Junko even be like? I was never meant to stop bein a teenager._ _  
_ _I bet._ _  
_ _Even if I had ended the world._ _  
_ _I would still be wearing my school uniform, and parading around like I was a seventeen year old girl no matter how much time had passed._ _  
_ _  
_ “What do you mean challenge? If you want to challenge then maybe everybody else should stop being so lame and losing so easily.” Junko lashed out with her tongue, annoying at the thoughts she was mulling over in her own head.  
  
“I don’t just mean fights. I mean perspective to. I don’t think you notice anybody’s perspective besides your own.”  
  
“That’s because everybody else’s perspective is boring.”  
  
“That’s a bad habit. If you keep saying that, you’ll start to think everything’s boring. Are you okay with that?”  
  
“...My word. Everything you say is boring.”

“Well, anyway what I mean is…” Zenkichi poked Kumagawa Misogi’s sleeping face in the cheek. “This guy is the closest person to you right now. So. What do you think his definition of hope and despair is?”  
  
“That’s obvious, hope is a just heart, moving towards the light. That is all. Despair is hope’s polar opposite, messy and confusing, swallowing up love, hatred and everything else. Because not knowing where you will end up is despair. Despair is even what you cannot predict. Only despair’ unpredictability can save you from a boring future.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah, boring speech whatever.”  
  
“Excuse you that was a great speech.”  
  
“But, the point is that’s what you think! What if Kumagawa’s definition of despair and hope is different from your own? Can you say for sure that it’s the same?”  
  
Enoshima Junko hesitated, tilting her head to the side even from where she was laying in her bed. Her brain sounded like a skipping cd for a moment _huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?_

  
“You care about hope and despair the most out of all of us, but can you say you understand what hope and despair is to the person that’s closest to you?” He stopped for a moment, and smiled at her. “Well, maybe that’s why Kumagawa is good for you.”  
  
“Good for me? If he’s good for me I’m going to dump him on the spot. I’m only interested in what’s bad for me.”  
  
“No, but that’s what I mean. He challenges you, you can’t understand him all the way, you need to work for it a little bit. It’s like you’re… both kids.”  
  
“ Save me the speech about how relationships can lead to growth, those parts about senpai are the parts of him that I hate the most.”  
  
“Yeah… I guess you both hate and love him, but you know that’s probably good too. The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference, and you’re not bored of him yet are you?”  
  
Junko bit the inside of her lip, hard enough to bleed. When she tasted the small trace amounts of her own blood inside of her mouth, she decided that was enough of that. She was weak willed after all, fickle, and gave up easily. She rolled over in her bed and dug her face into her pillow ignoring the other boy.

 

 ♛

 

When Hitoyoshi Zenkichi finally managed to fall asleep, as it was still awkward being in bed with another girl even with a sleeping Kumagawa like a giant dog asleep on the mattress between them. He hoped in the future, Kurokami Medaka would be able to forgive him for this and everything else.  
  
When he had finally managed to sleep, he was awoken by a phantom tugging on his arm. He cracked open an eye, and saw something looming over him like a walking shadow. Hitoyoshi Zenkichi screamed. “Ghost, ghoooost, it’s a ghost!”

『Since when have you been afraid of ghosts? Where did this surprising new character trait come from?』  
  
“Come on man, don’t meta talk this early.” Zenkichi said as he rubbed his eye, recognizing the shadow was none other than Kumagawa Misogi.  
  
『Alright, then I’ll speak directly. I want to finish our conversation from earlier.』At that moment Kumagawa did something Zenkichi had never seen him do before. He held his hand out to the other to help him out of bed.  
  
The two of them walked down the hallway in silence. They did not have any small talk to make after all, what kind of small talk could be made between two boys who hated each other. Eventually Zenkichi scratched at the back of his head. “I’m surprised Enoshima-san didn’t wake up.”

『She’s really particular about getting her beauty sleep. Once she falls asleep nothing can wake her up.』  
  
“Really, that sounds kind of annoying.”

『Not really, because I love her beauty after all.』  
  
“Since when did you turn into such a mushy guy.”

『I’ve always been mush. Mush is such a weak material after all, and an inconsistent state of being so it perfectly suits somebody like me.』  
  
Without realizing it, the two who hated each other had started to make small talk regardless. Until they reached the destination that Kumagawa intended, the large circular room in the strawberry tower and Kumagawa turned around on his heel. For a moment Zenkichi saw a flash of the same intensity he had seen in Komaeda’s eyes. The always joker, was having a rare moment of seriousness, as Kumagawa sharpened his eyes.

“You said you had a plan… so, did you get caught here on purpose?”

『Yeah… to be honest, I’m surprised my trap actually worked.』  
  
“Your trap? What… is this what you talked about earlier, about motivating Medaka-chan? You shouldn’t joke around Kumagawa, Medaka-chan’s seriously worried about you now you can’ make her worry for no reason. What are you planning?”

『Do you think I would actually tell you? If I told you you would try to stop me, you’re the one who always gets in my way after all.』  
  
“Do you hate me that much?”

『Yeah...』  
  
“Are you serious about wanting to stay on this island? Do you hate the outside world that much?”

『Ajimu-sam who was saved instead of her, Medaka-chan who failed to save her, and Junko-chan for jumping in that moment. It’s only natural for me to come to hate them. Not just them, the whole world, I hate the outside world that won’t have Junko in it, that’s the kind of petty person I am…I'm starting to hate everyone and everything, but most of all, the one who is always, always, always unworthy of her… myself...I hate myself.』

“Kumagawa. Stop carrying this all around by yourself, stop going off on your own and deciding things on your own. You were always like that but you’ve been way worse lately! Just tell me what it is your planning. ”

『Zenkichi-chan. I don’t doubt your oncern for me, because you’re a much better person than me after all… but aren’t you my enemy? Why should I tell you anything?』  
  
“I’m your friend, damnit!  We’re friends who hate each other! I’ve known you just as long as Medaka-chan did, I was watching you all that time too. I was so envious! I was envious of the one person who was closer in nature to Medaka-chan then me.”  
  
At that moment Kumagawa’s eyes trembled. Whatever resolve he had sharpened them with, seemed to dull like the blade of a knife that had been used to cut too many times. He stumbled forward and gripped his head, as he felt another pressure at the back of his eyes. Those usually are what triggered his halluncination spells, but no… he needed to stay present in this moment. He could not dissociate for this moment.  
  
“Hey… are you going to start talking to yourself again?”

『No… I’m fine.』  
  
“You went out of your ways to tell me your plans right, so… tell me. Tell me what you want from me, if you keep carrying that weight all on your own you’ll break more and more.”

『I want to die, and I want you to become my killer.』Kumagawa Misogi smiled at Hitoyoshi Zenkichi at that moment. 『We were never able to become friends, but at least we can go to hell together. Isn’t that right?』

“I… I just said, are you even listening to anybody besides yourself right now? What the hell do you mean?”

『If you were to become my killer, if you Medaka-chan’s guidepost were to fall she would become unhinged enough to revert to her former self. Then, she would make the promise to stop Junko’s suicide.』  
  
“What would it matter? You and I would both be dead.”

『That’s fine… I’ve decided that’s fine. I can’t bear the pain of losing Junko, but if we continue on like this the day will eventually come, when she gets bored of me and discards me. So it’s better if I can control my loss this time… I’ll die before she can kill me. That way, after I’m gone Junko will continue to exist forever, and I’ll exist forever as spite inside of her heart.』  
  
“What good will that be? Who cares if you’re metaphorically by her side she won’t actually be there with you. You’re just running away again.”

『So what if I’m running away! I can’t be like you, I can’t be a hero like you!』Kumagawa Misogi suddenly drew up two screws. His face which had looked so troubled, only doubled down on his foolish resolve. 『Tch, fine then. I won’t give you a choice. That’s what a villain like me would do anyway.』  
  
Kumagawa rushed forward with his screws, one in each hand. Unlike the time the two of them fought in the student council exams, and all other times since Hitoyoshi Zenkichi could tell that he was quite serious as he charged forward as his body twisted forward. Zenkichi twisted his body the opposite direction bringing his foot around in a roundhouse kick that hit Kumagawa hard in the face to deflect him before he could even come close.  
  
Kumagawa bent his spine up at an odd angle to try to right himself  but Zenkichi did not let up, hitting hi hard in the side of the face, and then in the stomach, unleashing a chain of blows. A different protagonist might not have even fought Kumagawa at all at this moment, but that was Zenkichi he always fought everything head on. Kumagawa grit his teeth to endure the blows he was receiving.  
  
He threw one of his screws and it spiraled through the air quickly scraping past Zenkichi’s shoulder and ripping through his uniform and part of his flesh. Zenkichi realized if Kumagawa was serious he would have dug that screw into his skin, but he was just starting a fight to bait the other boy into killing him.  
  
Even though they had traded blows, they were not closer to understanding each other. This was not the sort of thing where two people better understood each other by fighting, it was not that kind of shonen manga. Perhaps violent was a form of communication, but it was an awfully obtuse one, and it dulled the senses anyway as consecutive blows to the head were aught to do. Zenkichi brougt his foot towards Kumagawa’s head again, only for Kumagawa to slide out of the way this time.  
  
He moved quickly and got close enough that there faces were centimeters apart.

Zenikichi could feel the warmth of Kumagawas breath they were so close, and he wildly lashed out with his feet to gain some distance, only for Kumagawa to weave through the blows and appear behind him. He threw a punch, but Zenkichi just as quickly dodged out of the way.  
  
There was something that told him Kumagawa would throw a punch in that moment. It was the same thing he would have done, if he slid by his opponent’s blows so easily. Kumagawa fell forward with his momentum and hit the ground face first. He immediately struggled to get up.  
  
Zenkichi turned around and offered the other boy a hand. “Kumagawa are you-”  
  
『Don’t worry about me! Fight! Why won’t you fight me, you’re always, always fighting me! What the hell’s wrong with you? Why? Why would you say something so stupid like you’re jealous of me... 』Kumagawa could make his voice sound as wicked as the devil. He could wear any kind of ask he pleased, and he often delighted in playing the villain, there was nobody better at pissing Hitoyoshi Zenkichi off but in that moment Kumagawa’s voice trembled. 『Why would you say something like you’re jealous of me? You’ve always had what I wanted. Friends when I didn’t. Acknowledgement when I didn’t. You can try hard when I can’t…』  
  
“Jealous of me? But… I’m just a boring nobody to you.”

『I was just saying that you idiot… Don’t you know what projection is? There’s nothing at all good about me, the only thing I excel in is my misfortune and in everything else I’m mediocre. If I were less unfortanate I’d be just like you. We’re both… so plain, so average, we’re both nothing trying way too hard to be something so why did you become strong… and why was I...』Kumagawa grabbed at the collar of his uniform and pulled it to the side, as his eyes bloodshot from the stress alone began to fill with tears.

『 _I always knew.._ 』  
『 _I always knew..._ 』  
『 _Always, always, always..._ 』  
『 _Always, resented..._ 』  
『 _Not Zenkichi-chan, not Medaka-chan, but my own powerless self. My small self, and my small heart, too small to hold onto anything at all._ 』  
『 _I couldn’t even hold one girl’s hand._ 』

『All I ever wanted, was to become a hero like you so why… Why did I become the reason we’re all stuck on this island? If I’d been stronger! If I’d been able to hold onto Junko in that moment, then we wouldn’t be here right now! Why am I always so damn weak?』  
  
An utterly pointless fight.  
The reason that neither of them could ever win or lose over the other, or when they did it did not matter at all, was because they were both the same. It was just as Zenkichi said in Kumagawa’s relationship with Komaeda, they were similar enough to be friends but they hate themselves so much that they hated the parts they saw in others. He had not realized it until now, but… he felt the same way about Kumagawa. He hated the boring nobody who tried too hard to be important, he never wanted to acknowledge that part of himself. That was why he understood Kumagawa so well.  
  
If he wanted he could let Kumagawa pound his aggression out, or he could hit Kumagawa until he complied, but fighting was not communication. If he was Medaka, perhaps he would be able to change Kumagawa’s mind through a fight, but he was not her. He had always been so much weaker than her, always been so unworthy of her.  
  
“Who said you weren’t a hero!”

『You did… if you’re the hero then I’m the villain.』There were tears, running through Kumagawa’s eyes as he got to his feet once more entirely on his own. He was always standing up on his own, he would never accept the hand of another. 『Do you know what it’s like, catching the short end of the foil stick? I’m just… living proof of what a good and hard worker you are. I’m just a negative example, bad things continue to happen to me because I’m a bad person who won’t learn… who doesn’t try to be better but..I thought I was really trying, I always thought I was trying so hard… but I don’t try at all, because if I did I’d be more like you right?』  
  
“When I said I’m the hero that’s just from my perspective, even super pets think of themselves as heros. The same goes for you, you’re the hero of your own story so act like it!” Zenkichi said, as he reached out, not to hit Kumagawa but to pull him close into a hug. “You’re the one whose always talking like you’re a story book character, but you can’t just act like you’re a side character! You’re the one who is at the center of things, you need to act like it! Take responsibility!”

『N-nobody would want to read a story where I’m the main character. It’d be a stupid story. Any story where I’m involved, only ends in the worst possible result, because of me. Nothing good ever comes from me.』  
  
“Who cares if it’s a stupid story, whether it’s stupid, miserable, or is destined for a bad ending it’s your story isn’t it? Are you really willing to throw it away that easily?”

As Zenkichi said this, shouting to the other boy whose head was resting on his shoulder, Kumagawa lost whatever strength was left in his body. He had lost again. He had lost entirely to Zenkichi. 『I… I’m sorry… It’s my fault… It’s all my fault we’re in here and on this island… It’s my fault and I’ll apologize so let me make up for it please, I want to die to make up for it.』  
  
“No you don’t, because you’re the one who hates dying the most.”

『Is it… my fault?』  
  
“Yeah. It sounds like it’s your fault.”

『That’s not the kind of thing you say in scenes like this!』  
  
“It’s a good thing if it’s your fault though, isn’t it? That means you can take control of it. And… being stuck on this island isn’t entirely bad. Komaeda found somebody he loved here, and I would not have confessed to Medaka-chan in a thousand years if the situation wasn’t dire. So. Don’t say something stupid like ‘nothing good ever comes from me’. Good things arise from misfortune all the time.”

『But… I don’t know what to do… I’ve been thinking about it for so long, but I don’t know how to make up for it.』  
  
“You just need to be punished. Live, and be punished. Live miserably forever, instead of dying satisfied with yourself that you’ve redeemed yourself in some half assed way.” Zenkichi said, as he tightened his arms around Kumagawa. Kumagawa’s hands twitched, they had dangled at his side, because he was not used to being embraced like this, and he was still expecting pain at some point.

『Oh… okay. I’m sorry for saying something so stupid, Zenkcihi-chan.』

Zenkichi finally drew back, and smiled at the other boy. “Don’t apologize for saying stupid things now, otherwise you’d have to apologize every time you opened your mouth from now on. Besides, all this talk about how you're inerior to me... but, you got a girlfriend before I did, didn't you?"  
  
『Ah, that's right you are lame. Nevermind I don't need to be envious of you.』  
  
The two of them, both laughed at how lame Zenkichi was. Finally they could agree on something after arguing so much. 

『 _It was strange._ 』  
『 _The two of us had known each other since Middle School, but we had never once talked like this.._ 』  
『 _We spent the rest of the time that night, talking, and trading stupid jabs_ .』  
『 _We laughed together._ 』  
『 _Even if I were to be reborn 52 times, I don’t think I’d ever forget that night the two of us spent talking, about how once we got off this island together, we’d go to playland, and then afterward I’d treat him to mcdonalds._ 』

 

 ♛

 

Kumagawa Misogi went looking for Enoshima Junko in the morning. When he finally found her, she noticed the bruises and dried up blood on his face, and cooed at him only to mock him. “Awe, did you two get in a fight? Really, you two should stop fighting so much, you’re both pretty.”

  
She reached out for his face, pinching his cheeks even though they had obvious bruise marks on them. When she saw his face flinch, she made a  smile that was incredibly pleased. “Well, maybe you’re not so pretty anymore.”

『...』  
  
Kumagawa looked away pouting. It was difficult, going in between somebody sweet like Zenkichi to somebody like Junko who was pure acid.

“I’ll let your lap have the privilege of being my pillow, peon.”

『...?』  
  
_Ehh,_ she tilted her head as if considering something. That quiet gesture was quickly followed by her shouting. 

"IT'S NOT LIKE I WANNA FUCKING REST MY HEAD IN YOUR LAP ANYWAY!"

『......』  
  
“I think if you were to let me rest my head in your lap, we would experience a unique synergy an a surplus of what our market research sample terms as 'the feels'.”

『...............』  
  
It occured to Kumagawa then, that Junko might actually not know how to word something as a request, other than an order. He was shocked. He genuinely could not tell if she was messing with him, or just did not know how to simply ask for something.  
  
“Alright, you’ll offer up your lap to me.”

『So, that’s what you’re going with...』  
  
“Any complaints?”  
  
『No, princess.』Kumagawa said, as he leaned back against the wall and crossed his legs. She quickly danced over to his side with light footsteps, and eagerly put her head in his lap. The hunger must have been giving her headaches, he could sympathize.  
  
“Thinking is hurting my head too much, tell me what you’re thinking about instead.”

『I was thinking about Mukuro-chan. I hope she’s fine on her own.』  
  
“So, what you’re saying is Mukuro would be worth something if she were taken hostage for you?”

『No wonder you’ve got headaches when you’re thinking of something so heinous! Have you thought about not thinking about Mukuro-chan in a less sinsister sisterly sort of way for once in your life?』  
  
“My bigger sister is so cute, isn’t she? You know, that cute girl is more than happy to obey my every word.”

『Hey, don’t treat her like that. Do you... do you not know how to be not sinister? The opposite of sinister. What is that, sinisterly sincere?』  
  
“It’s just me being tsundere.”

『That’s not being tsundere, you’re just disguising your abuse, that’s all. You’re an awfully fake person.』  
  
“How rude, Misogi. That’s the first time anyone has ever said that about me.”

『Really?』  
  
“If anything, people often tell me the opposite. “Enoshima Junko-chan, she’s real.’”

『You're really something alright.』  
  
They were kidding with these conversations.  
Testing each other’s wit.  
Sharpening their tongues against one another metaphorically when they were not doing it literally.  
  
Junko had a habit of resting her head in his lap when she was troubled. Though, when she was troubled she almost never spoke of it directly, she just harassed him to relieve strength. Of course, none of her harassment fazed him that much so, it was a lovely little arrangement between the two of them.  
  
“Hey, Misogi.” She said in a voice without any emotion. “Do you love me?”

『...!』 Nevermind, what a way to harass someone. She had found a way to faze him straight through to his core. So not only did she have an acid tongue she was capable fo this as well.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, do you love me? Why aren’t you answering? Hey, hold on, could it be you don’t love me? Were you lying all along?”  
  
He was being harassed. He couldn’t take much more of this.

『I already told you don’t ask things you already know the answer too, that’s just being a smart ass.』  
  
“Well of course. I’m so much better than an idiot like you in every way, it’s only natural even my ass would be smarter than yours, and tighter too. But don’t run away from the question.”

『I love you.』  
  
“I hate you too, Misogi!”  
  
What a Junko like answer.  
Nobody would ever be more Junko, than Junko was right at that moment. But Junko was the person he loved after all, so he could not get angry about it. No, the truth was, if she had said words of love back that would have been the ultimate harassment.  
  
『...』

“Oh, you’ve gone quiet again. Did I bully you too much?  It’s always so funny to watch you suffer, like one of those sad clowns, so I can’t help but constantly think of ways to put you down.”

『That line makes me feel more down than anything else you’ve said yet.』  
  
"Really? If that's your lowest point then I'll need to try harder next time to push you down even further."

『So what about me do you hate?』  
  
“How kind you are. How cute you are. How you’re like my loser prince who comes to dashing in to save me whenever I’m in trouble, fails, and falls flat on his face in a funny way.”  
  
『How are those things worthy of hate?』  
  
Really, what a wicked woman he was dealing with. He thought he was wickedness personified until he had met her. Trying to fight her with negativity was pointless.Even though her reply was just a riposte to his harassment, his heart was hammering.

『I don’t understand… Why… Where did I go wrong walking down this path of thorns.』  
  
“What’s wrong with a path of thorns? Elegantly walking down a path filled with roses in bloom is such a gorgeous and beautiful image. As they rip into your flesh, you'll be dyed such a lovely red, the same color as the rose petals."   
  
『Don’t give it a nice spin! You’re supposed to twist things to make them worse not better, don’t suddenly change characterization on me!』  
  
“In the language of flowers, roses mean - a cute idiot.”

『Liar! Stop making stuff up on the spot. Just because you’re smart doesn’t mean I’ll believe everything you say. We can't suddenly start introducing floriography symbolism this late in the story people will think we're just making it up as we go along!』

“By the way… By the way, you scu… sorry, Kumagawa-senpai.”

『Did you nearly call your own boyfriend, scum?』  
  
“By the way… By the way, you shi- Sorry, Kumagawa-senpai.”  
  
『Just when I think your opinion of me can't get any lower.』  
  
“What are you talking about? I wish you wouldn't make such groundless accusations. Anyway… Did you know the opposite of love is indifference? Now that we’re on the topic of that, I want to ask you about something.”

『Now that we’re on the topic, she says like it happened by coincidence like she didn’t bring it up herself.』  
  
“Now that we’re on the topic…” Junko repeated as if ignoring him, because she was ignoring him. “Can you tell me about what happened with your parents?”

『You already know.』  
  
“I know, but I took it from you. I want you to tell me. I implore you that you tell me. Just tell me already, jeez, before I get bored.”

Kumagawa looked to see Ensohima Junko in his lap. Her hands were wrapped around her head, and her entire body was curled parallel to his. Enoshima Junko was somebody who was always so strong on her own, able to stand completely alone he really did think that. Yet recently it was like something had changed within her.  
  
Perhaps she had hit her head too hard when they both hit the water. Perhaps a single crack had appeared. Whatever it was, Kumagawa would not attribute himself for the change ever. Junko had decided this on her own. She always decided on her own, that was in her nature. Perhaps it was just another whim, but while it was here he liked the feel of it.

Junko who was always standing on her own, completely involved in herself, who saw not end to herself at all, suddenly started to look at another. She wanted to know what another thought and felt, not to figure it out but to simply ask. A small change, perhaps only a crack, and perhaps only on a whim but he noticed it. He was the one who was always watching her after all.  
  
Once he had asked Kurokami Medaka, he had wondered with all of his heart if one day they could be equals. That would involve a lot of climbing to get to her level though, and Kurokami would just stay in place. However, Kumagawa and Junko were already sunken in these depths together. If… if they wanted to break the surface, it would be much more mutual. They could tread the water together, or they could decide to plunge to the depths together, but either way it would be together.  
  
『I… my father hurt me a lot. When I was born, my mother left me soon afterwards so he fell into despair and joined a cult. He told me  it would make me beautiful, but… it was just a bunch of adults taking out their aggression on me. Nobody came to save me, and afterwards I realized I suffered all of that for nothing.』  
  
"Do you hate your father for hurting you?"  
  
『Yeah.』  
  
"Do you hate your mother for abandoning you to your cruel father?"  
  
She asked these questions, emotionless, as if making scientific observations. Anybody else might have been unnerved, but Kumagawa knew that was just how she was when she was paying attention. He liked being in the center of those cold discerning eyes.   
  
『Yeah.』  
  
“Misogi, do you hate the world?”

『I do...but… I don’t want to hate all of it.』  
  
“What do you mean?”

『I don’t want to make up my mind just yet. Ajimu-san said after she saw the world from every possible angle, she said it was cruel yet beautiful. That’s why, I wanted to see more of the world until I could decide for myself whether I hated it.』He paused, and reached forward pulling his fingers through her hair to stroke it. 『Do you hate the world, Junko? Is that why you want to destroy it?』

“No, I’m just indifferent to it.” _  
_

『The person who said the opposite of like is indifference. Do you think he went to hell like he was supposed to? Getting involved with people while holding ill will against them… is better than not getting involved with them at all? That’s nonsense.』Kumagawa pulled at her hair, separating with his fingers, watching the waves of gold that her hair separated into. As she did so, Junko closed her eyes and listened to his ranting. As usual… she was probably the only person in the world who understood what he was getting at. 『THe opposite of like is hate. Saying anything else is pretentious. Gloating after turning a simple answer into a complicated one. Everyone likes word game I guess. It’s natural to want to play around, because if humans don’t make excuses. They can’t keep on living.” 』  
  
“Is that what you think? I agree with that phrase. It’s better to be indifferent. I don’t expect anything from others, and don’t think anything of their deaths. Actually, indifference is a virtue all humans should ultimately have.”

『Well, I don’t think you’re wrong not to feel anything about death. You live and then you die. That goes for you and me. It’s meaningless and valueless… That’s why, it’s fine to do anything, but you’ve just been thinking about how to die this entire time Junko. You didn’t realize you’re free to choose how you live as well. There’s no need for consistency in your attitude towards life. You’re always changing your mind aren’t you? So why don’t you just keep doing that, keep making it up as you go along.』  
  
“Even if it’s meaningless?”

『Even if it’s meaningless, just… play pretend and have fun a little bit, make up your own meaning.』  
  
“That sounds like cheating. Where did you get all these heat codes from, Misogi?"   
  
『Junko, don’t change the subject. Why are you worried about this?』  
  
“It’s just… Hitoyoshi-kun told me I couldn’t grow up… not like this… but you had grown up and I started to think, if you grew up and I didn’t then you’d leave me behind…” She reached for him and dug her nails into this shirt.

『You’re always threatening to disappear, but I can’t leave you behind? How selfish of you..』Kumagawa said, before he reached forward to embrace her. Kumagawa almost never was the first one to embrace her, he never embraced others, he was always impassive. 『Things not going according to plan. Experiencing the pain of losing a friend. The store running out of weekly shonen jump just when you were about to buy it. The accumulation, of despairs like that over and over, that’s what makes people adults. So, the despair obsessed you can probably grow up just fine and even if you can’t… 』 He took a deep breath, holding her until he could feel her breathing steady against his.  『You don’t need to be a slave to indifference anymore. I’ll validate… Everything about you, Junko.』  
  
Enoshima Junko, had been thinking to herself this entire time in isolation in this funhouse. She could not help but think, her mind obsessively analyzed every detail. Yet for that one moment, her mind went completely blank, as she felt something warm wrap around her.  
  
She had failed to take his hand every time before this. It was pointless, because even if he did reach out to her, even if he saved her at that moment she would just fall again later some other time. Yet, he kept trying. In the face of utter pointlessness.  
  
She had never understood why until this point.  
  
It’s because he just invented his own meaning. He made it up on the spot. That sounded like cheating to her. It was the first time she even considered holding onto his hand. Perhaps… it was not so bad she did not die in this moment, because it meant living to witness this moment, living to witness Kumagawa suffer further, and fall into even further depths she had never even imagined he could.  
  
“Mmm to answer your earlier question. Being in the funhouse alone like this... it's… not so bad…”

The question that had caused Junko to try to kill him with an axe earlier. An absurd reaction from an utterly absurd girl. She had been thinking about it all this time. That was her answer.  
  
“Misogi, we need a plan to get out of here. We’ll die from starvation otherwise, and that’s a boring death.”

『I mean it’s also painful.』  
  
“Boredom is the worst kind of pain.”

『Maybe to you, a spoiled girl whose felt no actual pain.』  
  
“That’s why… let’s do something romantic, like Romeo and Juliet.”

『They both die at the end how is that romantic?』

“Oh, oh. I’m surprised an idiot like you knew that. There’s no way you actually read the play, though.”

『I saw the anime Romeo x Juliet.』

“Upupupu, I knew it. Just like I know everything else.”

『That’s the kind of smugness that’s just asking to be taken down for her hubris. God, if you can hear me strike her with lightning please. I’ll hold her in place so she can’t escape.』Kumagawa said, tightening his arms around her side to tease her.  
  
“Anyway, most literature that references Romeo and Juliet is hilariously misplaced and out of context, especially in a romantic context because it depicts a love that is ultimately ruinous for both parties, but it’s appropriate for us don’t you think? Because we’re bound to destroy each other in the end.”

『Mutual destruction for both parties, you’re right that does sound romantic.』Kumagawa said, leaning is head back. 『Junko, I’ve given you my scars, my stories of the past, and my made up meaning for the world. I don’t have anything left to give, that’s all I have to give. There’s not much to me so… if you’ve gotten bored of me and are just trying to kill me...』

Junko reached forward putting a finger on his lips. “I’m not bored of you, yet. It’s like there’s no end to you, it’s like you’re a river you know. I’m sure there’s more I can take from you. I won’t be satisfied until I’ve taken everything.”

『As if a greedy girl like you would ever be satisfied.』  
  
“Besides… all I can give you is poison. That’s all I’m capable of. So, don’t you think we’re even?”

『Even?』  
  
“Like… we’re totally the same.” She said, smiling at him. A smile that looked almost angelic, to a demon like him.  
  
『What...what’s your plan?』

  
“Oh, wow you seriously trust me. That’s a stupid move on your part.”  
  
『Pretty much all of my moves are stupid moves, continue.』  
  
“We’ll both drink the poison, and go comatose and I’m sure as soon as the body alarm rings, Monokuma will wake us up. If we’re asleep we’ll burn way less calories than alive… so we’ll last longer.”

『Alright.』Kumagawa snatched it from her then, with determination, or perhaps just stubbornness. He tipped the bottle back and then swallowed almost all of it. Junko rolled her eyes at how much he was overdoing it, and then leaned forward and kissed his lips. Immediately, she tasted a sharp sting just from kissing him, and soon after numbness. Even though she felt a coldness creep along her body, being next to him was still unbelievably warm.  
  
_Wait… I forgot to ask._ _  
_

“Misogi… what’s despair to you.”

『Endurance… Enduring the worst over and over again until it’s pointless.』  
  
“Yeah, that’s an answer you would give… then, not that I care or anything, but what would hope be?”

『A smile...』  
  
“Lame.”

『No… I mean I don’t care about hope. I smile in the face of despair… so I can laugh. As long as I can keep laughing that’s… something...』

 "How like you... how very like you..."

What a Misogi like answer.   
Nobody would ever be more Misogi than Misogi was right at that moment. But Misogi was the person she loved so much that she hated, so she ended up feeling something about it, even if it was probably just anger, or perhaps acidity in her stomach. 

 _Something._ _  
_ _Something was not nothing._ _  
_ _Which was more than I had before._ _  
_

She thought as she drifted off clinging to him.

 ♛

 

“A body has been discovered, a body has been discovered!”  
  
Just as Enoshima Junko predicted, the two of them woke up the moment they heard the alarm. They saw Kurokami Medaka in front of them, screaming something incoherent. No, it was just incoherent because they were still shaking off the vestiges of their sleep.  
  
They both made out two familiar words.  
  
“You… murderers…”

“Huh?”

『Huh…?』  
  
However, the question did not need to be answered. When they opened their eyes fully they could see it. Hitoyoshi Zenkichi’s corpse was stuck to the wall, held in place their by screws.

Hitoyoshi Zenkichi was dead.  
  
And the two of them were the only ones in the funhouse at the time of the murder besides him.   
  
Enoshima Junko smiled, with interest.  
_What a perfect frame job._ _  
_

Kumagawa Misogi stared at the body of the person who had comforted him so short a time ago. All of the warmth in that body had gone completely cold now. He had lived, and he died, utterly pointless.

『 _It’s a stupid story._ 』  
『 _An utterly stupid story._ 』  
『 _But it’s mine, you know._ 』  
『 _I’m the only one who can give it meaning._ 』  
『 _Why am I alive and Zenkichi isn’t? I can’t die until I find the answer to that question. Until I find that meaning. Even if it means living forever._ 』

 


	39. Smile at Despair in the Name of Laughter (11 Frame x Deconstruct)

The paradox.  
Hope saves, and hope destroys.  
“Each is led by their hope. But to where that hope may take us, we will have to see.”  
He was sure he heard that said at some point, perhaps in a manga, but even if he could not remember correctly where he was sure someone at some point had said something so profound. If you were to compare the beliefs of the biggest proponent of hope on the island, and the biggest proponent of despair it would sound strangely similar.  
  
To the girl that had only ever experienced privilege, security, safety in her life hope was the status queue while despair burned away everything to bring about the unexpected. To the boy who experienced a strange mix of privilege and constant loss, always experiencing one arbitrarily right after the other like the flip side of a coin to him chaos was just another form of order, it was what he had come to be expected, and so hope was like a brilliant light which burned away all the chaos and brought about order and stability, something truly unexpected for a world which was at its base nature so chaotic, arbitrary, devoid of meaning.  
  
In other words, hope saves, and hope destroys, it all just depends on perspective. Especially for those two who interpret the events of the world with quite some distance, as if they were laid on a storybook page for them to view, as if they were ordered, intended, but it only seemed that way to them.  
  
Nagito Komaeda often grappled with this question, keeping him awake into the late hours of the night. In his mind he could see the coin flipping over and over again, and thought a speculated a great deal which way it would land. _Hope. Despair. Hope. Despair._ A coin flipping, what a great metaphor, because just like everything else in his life he believed this such an important conflict could still be influenced by the whims of chance. Hope and despair, two sides of the same coin, for someone who claimed to do everything of hope and only hope as the ultimate means to every end, to love only hope, to obsess over hope he thought an equal and opposite amount of time about despair.

Even that night he was still thinking about hope and despair somewhere in the back of his mind, but that was not necessarily what was keeping him up. It was Hinata who kept him up. Even though Komaeda had sleepily ran away in the middle of the night, Hinata found him again and insisted they share the same bed this time so Komaeda would not get lost again. Hinata treated it like it was his personal responsibility to watch over the other boy, it was annoying, getting looked down on by a reserve course student. Not only was that annoying, but being so close to Hinata was annoying. At this range, with his head pressed against Hianta’s chest and their long limbs messily intertwined, overlapping each other he could hear every noise the other boy’s body made. Hinata while awake was quite rude, and in your face to a presumptuous extent. The fact that he had been witness to Hinata presume he could talk however he liked to the great symbols of hope when he was nothing but a reserve course student all along was something that made Komaeda burn red with fever from secondhand embarrassment. Yes, secondhand embarrassment that was all that was. However, while asleep Hinata somehow got even more obnoxious and in your face. His presence was just so loud, Komaeda could hear every bit of it, his heart beat that somehow beat so steady and strong like a metronome, the way he breathed so deeply he sounded like he was doing it with his whole chest, the murmurs he made in his sleep, with each small noise Komaeda heard them like thunder, and from annoyance his heart rate spiked. Yes, yes, just annoyance.

Not only could he hear every noise that Hinata made so loudly, but Komaeda could also feel every small twitch of his body. His body was particularly loud too, or perhaps the proper word was forceful, rough? Komaeda tried to dwell on that instead of thinking too much about the scenario he was currently in. See, both boys were just teenage boys after all, they did not bother to go to sleep wearing proper pajamas. Komaeda wore a pair of black and white checkered boxers. They were loose fitting nad made of rather expensive materials, he had quite a lot of money after all. Normally he slept in only that, but Komaeda was particularly chilly on that night so he also decided to wear his tight fitting white shirt, with a red spiral symbol on the hest. Yes, he was cold that was the reason. He was cold on a tropical island, that was indeed the reason. It really was hard having a body as frail, and sickly as Komaeda’s because he could get cold even in circumstances like this. However, Hinata’s body was so naturally warm he probably had not even needed to think about wearing his shirt, so he only wore his equally loose fitting boxers, a stylish pair blue with a white floral print.  
  
Therefore, scientifically speaking which was of course the only angle that Komaeda was approaching this situation from there was only a layer of fabric between their bare skin from touching. Which meant that every time the rough and tumble Hinata moved in his sleep, Komaeda could feel him rubbing against him. Komaeda had tried to roll away and take up as little as the bed as possible, but Hinata was just as presumptuous and clingy in his sleep as he was awake. Yes, clinging, he was only clinging onto those of a greater talent than him to get some kind of meaning from his life. The moment he rolled away, Hinata had rolled over as well grabbing onto him from behind and pulling him closer, not allowing him any chance of escape. Hinata’s body was rough, muscular. Even through the thin fabric of his shirt, he could feel the way his stomach was well muscled. It was hard to the touch, and it must have felt awkward against Komaeda’s bony body. They were just too different, there was no symmetry from having their bodies becoming so close, lining them up there was nothing beautiful about the way their bodies compared. When he tried to move though, he only managed to run up against Hinata and get tangled up in his limbs further, and generate more heat for himself. Just once he had tried to move his leg, and ended up rubbing against the boxer shorts of the other boy eliciting a small noise that came out of Hinata’s mouth in his sleep, and Komaeda wished to die on the spot right there. To simply be a skeleton that Hinata was holding in bed. It would be appropriate after all, he was just as cold as the dead, his body was on the brink of death, he was where heat went to die, and yet somebody so warm was sharing a bed with him wrapping themselves around him.

That was what Komaeda was experiencing at the moment, and those were the racing, even spiraling thoughts that kept him awake. He could also observe several more details if he wanted, Hinata’s hair was so short and spiky that when Hinata moved he could feel his hair bristling against Komaeda’s too smooth skin. Hinata’s head had turned at one point and in his sleep rested in the crook of Komaeda’s shoulder, and now the other boy was very aware that one Hinata breathed through his mouth while he slept, and two that breath was incredibly warm and with each breath sent a chill down his spine. He was being made aware of all of these details, and they took up his entire thought process and that was why he could not sleep. An apparently peaceful scene was utter chaos and anxiety for him, but what was new in the life of Komaeda Nagito.  
  
When the door was flung open waking the both of them up, Komaeda was almost half relieved when in surprise Hinata got up, stumbled over him out of bed crawling on all floors, then rolled onto the floor on accident half asleep and woke up fully. He was only half relieved though, because the other half of him noticed immediately how much his temperature dropped the moment Hinata left him, and he felt like begging the other to come back or whispering five more minutes in a sleepy voice. However, both of those ideas were so pathetic of him to ask for a reserve course student he immediately felt ashamed of himself and kept his mouth shut.

“Zenkichi went missing…”

That was the only words that Komaeda needed to rouse himself. How long had it been ago that he had disturbed Zenkichi in the middle of the night to suit his selfish desires, how long ago did he waste the time of such an individual just to try to voice his own selfishness, just his own twisted thoughts falling out of his mouth in uneven spurts like his laughter as his mind spiraled worse and worse. Instead of accepting his inevitable plunge to the bottom, he had clung to those words for the past few days. ‘Your beliefs are beautiful’, even if those words were rafts made of straw, he wanted to cling to them in the middle of the storm that was his mind.  
  
Which is why, because Zenkichi was so kind, because he had said such kind words, the moment that Komaeda had heard he disappeared he immediately assumed the worst. _No, no, no…._ He thought as he followed both Hinata and Medaka to the fourth island after getting dressed. _No, you’re just being a crazy pessimist again. If you told anybody else what you were worried about, they’d just tell you how crazy you sounded, that’s why you know, that’s why you know it’s not true._

They got on the train together, Kurokami Medaka remaining silent the entire time. Komaeda found it odd as the girl was always quite emotional when it came to her friends, and she was the one who often had the most raw faith in situations like this. She should be encouraging them that Zenkichi was okay and they were just jumping to conclusions. If he was the one who noticed she was acting odd though, then she was probably just acting normally and he was wrong, since he did not understand others after all, and any deduction he made on that basis would probably be fault. He was definitely the one in the wrong, in fact he was probably just making up what he noticed about her because he wanted Kurokami Medaka to comfort him and tell him everything would be alright in this moment. He just wanted to rely on her strength, because mentally he was so weak and could not even believe in a person like Zenkichi who never stopped believing in him once.  
  
After the train they lost consciousness shortly and walked straight into the mouth of the snake (or the bear in this instance because bears were way cooler than snakes, and much more marketable) they were brought to a closed building with fluorescent covered walls. They found a map left on the table and discovered there were two buildings and decided to split up their search that way. Hinata and Komaeda covering one and  Kurokami Medaka covering the other. They did not have time to discern the nature of the buildings. When they met up again, they entered the center tower together only to discover the immutable reality that none of the three wanted to face. 

Hitoyoshi Zenkichi was dead.

Komaeda was used to it. Everywhere he seemed to walk, bodies fell at his feet as if plummeting from the heavens. For each step he took, they piled up in his path and he had no choice but to keep walking. Why? His own selfishness he guessed, because he wanted to at least witness something brilliant at the end of all of this death he walked. Plummetting from the sky, like the reserved course students as they were thrown, and threw out talented students from the window, but they were all faceless. As long as he did not look, he could continue to walk. He was used to it, the sound of crunching bones, the feeling wet with blood, and the smell of death. He had no reacted once to a single corpse, even those that belonged to his precious classmates. He was that good at looking away, at dismissing those who were lost as simply too weak to continue. If they had died before him, then they were chosen as stepping stones.  
  
Of course he felt bad, that he was surviving a little bit longer than one of his precious ultimates. It felt like blasphemy for him to continue on living and not be one of the sacrifices yet, but he had tried to correct that so many times he had tried to beg for them to kill him instead. He had not reacted once to death but this time was different. The entire world seemed to stop, draining of color, as if a filmy gray filter had been applied to reality. His senses were suddenly yanked out of his control, as if somebody had grabbed the camera away from his mind and directed it for him. He saw, just like in a horror movie the slow pan fo the camera as they entered into the room, before veering to focus on Zenkichi’s body.  
  
Suddenly, even though nobody in the room had said a word, Komaeda heard everything at once. He had always been sensitive to noise, and he thought it annoying when a violin string pull indicated a scare in a horror movie, but he could feel that sensation at this moment, all the strings inside of him had been pulled taut at once.  
  
Screwed to the wall in a gory display, two in his hands and two in his ankles large iron screws twisted into his flesh tearing it in a spiral pattern. His body was immaculate, free of any blood, and completely still. Zenkichi’s eyes which were always so bright, bright enough to blind now at this moment looked completely dull. His eyes were left open and staring at some far off place, and Komaeda could not even imagine. He had been watching this scene play out of him against his will, he wanted to close his eyes, to shut it all out, for the first time just like everybody else he felt the need to escape this island his need to run away was so bad he wanted to escape the fleshy parts of his body and simply divorce himself from existence entirely.  
  
Hitoyoshi Zenkichi was dead.  
An undeniable fact.  
A fact he could not deny.  
Yet, he tried to do it anyway. His body finally managed to move and he rocked forward with the weight that had suddenly come crashing down on him, his body usually felt chronic pain just from standing and moving around that started from as soon as he woke up and did not end even when he was lying in the bed exhausted, his body was always heavy and hard to move but in that moment it felt like gravity was fifty two times the normal force, crushing his ribs in his chest, trying to crumple up his insides.  
  
Suddenly, he heard the sound of the ocean in the difference. The image of the waves rolling on the shores, back and forth, a repettitive pattern a calming motion. What should have been so anyway, but all he could see was uneasiness in the sea. The room he was in spiraled out of control, the fruits that were on the walls made it impossible for him to distinguish between the ceiling and floor. They were in a circular room, but he saw a hallway appear much longer than the room they were standing in. The fruits that were reflected on the wall repeated over and over again.  
  
He wondered if the sudden hallway appearing was another trick of the funhouse, like when mirrors made a room appear larger than it really was, or when you were walking through a funhouse in a carnival and suddenly the room started to shake because of mechanisms outside the room. He felt all of those things in that moment, as his head throbbed and he could only hold onto it and peer through the gaps in his fingertips. He could feel his heart pounding, right beneath his eyes, it felt like his eyes were going to roll out of his skull as they bulged out any farther.  
  
Finally, at the edge of the hallway he saw it, a small boy with white hair. He wore a small green jacket, a white shirt with a crudely drawn sun, and a pair of shorts as well as socks and shoes. His fingers were hiding his face, and he had drawn up his knees to his chest and hidden himself in the furthest corner of the room.  
  
_“It’s my fault… I… I killed him…”  
_

Komaeda looked back to Zenkichi’s body, the entire room was covered in scars, and where Zenkichi’s body was screwed down the wall had been shattered with the force of some huge impact. The column in this room was destroyed completely, whatever happened in this room it must have been painful.  
  
He could still see the image of Zenkichi walking away from that day, carefree folding his hands behind his head. He let go of his face finally and reached out for that image as it disappeared in front of him, only to be replaced with Zenkichi’s corpse against the wall.  
  
_“I should have known the moment he said those hope filled words to me that day.”_ _  
_ _“I shouldn’t have let him walk away.”_ _  
_ _“I should have seen what he was doing, I should have stopped him.”_ _  
_ _“I should have killed myself before he became the sacrifice.”_ _  
_ _“Hey, secretly all along I was holding out hope wasn’t I?”_ _  
_ _“Ever since the first round, I was hoping that Zenkichi would be the one to conquer this killing game, that he would be the one to survive and become everybody’s hope.”_

 _“I claim to hope only for the sake of others, but secretly all along I mistakenly began to hope for something myself as well.”_ _  
_ _“I’m a hypocrite.”_ _  
_ _“I was lying when I said I was hoping for the others, I never held hope for other people.”_ _  
_ _“I never hold those beliefs you called so beautiful, Zenkichi.”_ _  
_ _“It was a mistake to hope for anything for myself.”_ _  
_ _  
_ That child said, in between his sobs.  
  
“Nagito.”  
  
A rough hand brought him back to reality, and he saw Hinata appear in his view. The hallway receded and he could no longer see another child. He could no longer hear the sounds of wave in the distance. He could feel beads of sweat rolling down his forehead, and his breathing was uneasy but he hoped Hinata would not notice.  
  
“You okay? You look pale, paler than usual.”  
  
“Hinata-kun…”  
  
“We need to investigate. Please.”  
  
“Yes…”   _What would I say at a time like this? Let’s see whose hope is stronger, I’m filled with despair at Hitoyoshi-kun’s death, I’ll investigate and see whose side I should take the murderers or you symbols of hope… Is that what I would say?_ He thought for a moment but when he tried to open his mouth he had completely dried out. He swallowed instead, but his throat was completely dry. It hurt to swallow. It was scratchy.  _Why is it so dry? Oh... that's right when I first saw Hitoyoshi-kun's body I scaremed hard enough to hurt my throat._

 

 ♛

 

The moment the alarm sounded, the rest of them on the first island were summoned to the fun house. The first two suspects were obvious, but an investigation needed to be conducted to see if some kind of trick was employed. Those two, Enoshima Junko and Kumagawa Misogi lied as easily as they breathed after all.

Only one person really was happy to see the both fo them still alive, Ikusaba Mukuro. Immediately after finding Kumagawa she threw the blanket she had brought over his shoulders, and put a boxed lunch in his hands. 

『Huh? Mukuro-chan I think you made a mistake, why are you being so nice to me?』  
  
“Because I’m glad to see you alive… um… duh.”  


『What a dumb thing to say about someone as hated as me.』  
  
“Hey, you be nice! Don’t you bully me too!”

『Sorry, sorry. I’m glad, Mukuro-chan survived on her own, because she’s so strong after all. Seeing you again… well.. You’re very cute.』  
  
“Huh…?” 

『Speaking of which, the freckles on your face look really good in this light.』  
  
“...”

『I also like your hair, it’s very silky.』  
  
“...?”

『That pair of socks you wear with your uniform are cute too.』  
  
“...!” 

Kumagawa opened up his lunch box and saw the cooked food inside. He picked up rice with his fingers messily and ate a few grains of it. 『This rice is also good rice. Nobody’s ever made me a boxed lunch before in my life… anyway what I want to say is you’re a wonderful person! I’m really glad, that you didn’t die this round, especially for somebody as terrible as me.』  
  
“...!?!”

“What the hell are you two doing?” Enoshima Junko who was sitting on the ground with crossed legs right next to where Kumagawa was, and who had instead of being handed a home made boxed lunch like Kumagawa was only handed a cup of microwaved ramen noodles to eat by her sister who she was used to in the past cooking every meal for her finally spoke up.  
  
『Oh, Junko you might not know this but sometimes people say nice things to each other without ulterior motives,or without anything horrible happening immediately afterwards.』  
  
“I’m not talking about that! How come you gave Misogi so much food, but you’re making your own flesh and blood starve!” Junko whined, like a child as she stomped her boots in her spot.  
  
“Flesh and blood? I guess our DNA is a much higher percentage in common than most human beings, but we also share 98.5% of our DNA with chimpanzees, and so percentage alike in DNA doesn’t mean that much really if the difference is less than one percent.” Ikusba Mukuro said, her voice suddenly turning cold and emotionless as she tilted her head to the side just like her sister had a habit fo doing. “Besides, I have to make Misogi-chan food. He’s my foolish younger brother whose no good on his own. You’ve always done just fine on your own, you don’t need my help, but since we’re both human beings after all I sympathized with you as a fellow member of the human race and did give you some ramen.”

『Wait… why am I the younger brother?』Kumagawa said, talking with his mouth full rice pouring out. 『I’m two years older than both of you girls.』  
  
“If you’re dating the younger sibling that makes you the younger brother, that’s just how it is.” Ikusaba explained. 

『Awe, once again I couldn’t win.』  
  
“Hey, dating me definitely isn’t a loss!” Junko said, grabbing his shoulder and shaking Kumagawa causing him to spit out a few grains of rice. Then suddenly her entire demeanor changed and she looked at Ikusaba. “I was glad too you know, I would never want you to die somewhere I can’t see it. Because you’re my only sister in the world. I missed seeing you, my life is so empty without the sister whose always by my - ow, ow, ow!”

Suddenly, Kumagawa had grabbed onto her hair and yanked it, knotting his fingers in the golden waves of her blonde hair especially tight. 『Mukuro-chan doesn’t need that kind of twisted affection. Don’t start pretending to be nice to her just because you want her to go back to being your punching bag that’s classic abuser behavior.』Kumagawa sighed. 『Besides you have a perfectly willing punching bag right here, I'll get jealous otherwise.』

“You never let me have any fun, Misogi…”

『You can have as much as your fun with me as you want, but Mukuro-chan doesn’t want to be subjected to that kind of love. Just because you’re twins doesn’t mean she thinks exactly the same way as you.』  
  
“So what you were serious about that whole not being your sister anymore, thing? But… we’ve been sisters for eighteen years.”  
  
“That’s such a  long time, I guess I got bored of being your sister.”Ikusaba Mukuro tilted her head. She had felt a mix of emotions already, for letting Zenkichi take care of her that day she was weak, for letting him walk away only to get himself killed later, but she could no longer insist that she was the one who deserved to die. That would be disrespecting his words and breaking her promise to him, she was not allowed to kill anybody or take any more precious lives, because even killing her self would be taking a precious life. She needed to find that resolve and stick to it, because a boy named Naegi Makoto would not give up in this situation and as she wanted to be his equal she could not fall short of him. “I guess, sometime in the future we could become sisters again.”  
  
“Huh?” 

“If you were to marry Misogi-chan, you’d be my sister in law. I hope we can get along well then.”  
  
Before Junko could explode, Kumagawa shoved a few grains of rice in her mouth. 『I’m sorry Mukuro-chan, I know you worked hard making this lunch box, but do you mind if I share it with her? This one is a lot of trouble already when she’s in a good mood, she’ll get cranky if she’s hungry.』  
  
“I suppose, you know that’s a troublesome girl you’re bringing into our family Misogi-chan.”

『Sorry, sorry. It’s all my fault, troublesome women are my type after all.』Junko muttered something with her mouth full, but it was too hard to make out. 『Wow, Junko you sure have a lot of energy for somebody who was starving to death a few hours ago. Don’t get too worked up we still haven’t recovered fully yet.』  
  
Junko, exhausting herself from her tantrum rested her head against Kumagawa’s shoulder like a child and finally thought to swallow.  
  
Before Mukuro could say anything else, Ajimu Najimi appeared behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. “Medaka-chan stole your usual investigation partner, Kirigiri-san so do you want to come investigate with me, Mukuro-chan?”  
  
Mukuro nodded, trying to swallow the unease she felt around being around the other girl. If Kumagawa was like Junko but more human, Ajimu was Junko but more inhuman.

Junko only grumbled more as Ajimu started to shoo Mukuro away. “But… my toy…she may be boring but she’s still mine...” Junko muttered underneath her breath, still leaning against Misogi as Mukuro turned her head away and could no longer here her.  
  
Over her shoulder, Ajimu looked back for a moment a smile appearing on her lips. “It’s too bad Junko-chan, Mukuro-chan is far more interesting than you give her credit for.”  
  
“Huh, what’s she talking about?”

『She’s probably just being mysterious on purpose to brag about how all knowing she is, that’s kind of her thing.』  
  
“But that’s supposed to be my thing, why does she keep taking my things?” 

『Nothing belongs to you, you know Junko-chan. Except for me that is.』He said before turning his head to look at her, reading the expression on her face with sharpened eyes for a moment. 『Are you still pouting just because Mukuro-chan went off on her own? You should be happy you know, she’s more likely to do something unexpected if she’s not following your every single order to the letter. You hate when Mukuro-chan’s like that.』

“At least the self loathing from that was worth a little bit of despair.”

『Don’t worry I’m sure there are plenty of other things to hate about yourself, you have far more detestable qualities than the average person!』  
  
“What a terrible thing to say about your girlfriend... I’m delicate you know I could shatter like glass.“

『Huh? What? I was trying to be positive. If you mean delicate like glass… whole shards of it.』  
  
“What a wonderful thing to hear. Am I so clear and sharp? You really know how to compliment a girl I feel like eWhat’s with you though? Normally when anybody tries to be any kind of affectionate at all, you insist you’re trash and they can’t possibly feel that way about you, just like Komaeda-senpai.”

『Wow, I’m surprised you pay that much attention to me. Doesn’t that cut into the time you pay attention to yourself?』  
  
“Answer the question, before I kiss those quippy lips of yours.”

『Ah, what a terrible threat. My lips are quibbling, I can’t get any more quips out. Except for this one, I guess I must have changed a little bit recently accepting affection isn’t as hard as it is in the past, it’s called character development Junko you should try it some time.』  
  
“Why would I want to do that? After all you said you loved the current me.”

『I shouldn’t be held responsible for my bad taste.』  
  
“If you’re not held responsible then it’s not good storytelling, remember? Anyway, share your blanket with me.”

『Oh, she’s gone back to orders, and she was so close to learning how to ask for things. Junko from past experience I don’t think you know what the word sharing means, for instance it doesn’t mean Junko takes all the blankets and ninety-five of the bed while Misogi curls up in the last corner that Junko’s not stretched out in.』  
  
“See, I left five percent for you how generous of me. Now repay my generosity you ungrateful man.”

『Ah, Junko’s switched to her haughty persona. Fine, fine.』Kumagawa said as he pulled the blanket off of his shoulders and gave one corner of the blanket for Junko to hold. They sat like that, splitting the lunch box and the blanket in peace. Well, at least their version of peace anyway which was much more chaotic than most.  
  
“Say, aaaah?”

『What’s this situation? Althought it’s a well-known lovey-dovey event that’s known to occur between lovey dovey couples in manga what’s up with this I’m not thrilled at all, why is this so scary?』  
  
“Quit narrating and just say aaaah.” 

『A-aaaahhhh』  
  
She brought the rice up against his face and stuck it on his cheek. “There, upupu.” Then giggled to herself at the childish prank like it had been some brilliant subversion of humor. I’m sure to her who thought herself brilliant in every way, it seemed that way. 

『It makes me very happy to see you smile.』  
  
“Then I should frown more. You’ve got some rice on your face.”

『You’re the one who put it there.』

“Let me take it off for you.” Junko said, before leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. He felt her tongue drag along his cheek, it was rough just like a cat, or perhaps he was just making that comparison on his own. “There, it’s all gone.” 

Kumagawa’s cheeks had reddened, but he could hear the footsteps of the others echoing in the background. 『Junko, do you think we should stop joking around?』  
  
“If we stopped telling jokes and laughing then who would be the comic relief?”

『Is that what our role is?』  
  
“You’re lacking in self awareness as always. It’s not like I think you’re right or anything…”

『What kind of bold new tsundere is this? Wait no, that’s not tsundere you just don’t want to admit you’re wrong like always!』  
  
“But… we should probably start investigating.”

『What?』  
  
“What?”

『Junko, you haven’t helped investigate a single round so far.』  
  
“Well, how am I supposed to find the unexpected if I do the same thing every time.” Junko said as she stood up suddenly, stealing the blanket away from him and wrapping it only around her shoulders. “Come on Misogi, I need somebody to follow me around and ask dumb questions to explain to the audience my deductions.”

『Isn’t that Hajime-chan’s job? Fine, fine, let’s go.』  
  
She reached out for him, but rather than take his hand, her fingers went for his head  and her nails dug into it, trying to lift him that way. Kumagawa mused for a moment, Junko was finally reaching out to him, but she had not learned yet how to reach out without hurting others at the same time. But, he was dull to pain, and not particularly bothered by it. Her nails dug deeper into his scalpA simple yet effective way of delivering pain. Kumagawa wondered if she was made of the stuff. Enoshima Junko’s hollow, emotionless eyes, were nothing if not glassy. Those same glassy eyes seemed to reflect every detail of the room they were in in a moment, as she started to seriously take them in.

“Looks like someone is finally pumped up!” A bear announced appearing in the background.

『Sssh, Junko’s concentrating you’ll make her mad.』Kumagawa said, a hand still in his head as he stood up next to her.  
  
“Don’t get mad at me all of a sudden! In fact, I’m the one who should be mad. Hitoyoshi-kun begged me to let him come into this funhouse with you guys and then he went and died. How disappointingly foolish…I guess one of you ungrateful children killed him.”

『Hmmm, Junko I didn’t kill him how about you?』  
  
“I didn’t kill him either. Like I’d want his blood on these boots.”

『Neither one of us killed him, Monokuma-chan.』  
  
“You sure about that? Are you sure you can trust her?”  
  
『Mmmm, well if you think about it I can always trust Junko to betray me so that’s a form of trust.』  
  
“Your sensibilities are way too twisted even by my standards. After all this time I still don’t get you.” Monokuma said. “We even went through all the trouble of patching him up after that seppuku. Well a life that dies once never returns twice.”

『Unless you’re a man who will never die like me of course!』  
  
“That’s obviously cheating!” Monokuma snapped at Kumagawa waving his plush hands in his face. “Sooo…. Even though it’s getting a little boring let’s get on with the usual routine.”  
  
The bear handed the file off to Kumagawa which Junko finally let go of his head to snatch away, holding it in her bandaged hand and swiping it with an extended finger. **> Evidence Acquired ****  
****> Monokuma FIle 4** **  
****Hitoyoshi Zenkichi Dead.** **  
**_The victim is Hitoyoshi Zenkichi, the body was discovered in Grape Tower which is in the funhouse. Despite the fact that his arms and legs are nailed to the wall_ _there seems to have been a severe impact to the wall behind him. Several other areas of his body are damaged… because of this it’s suspected he engaged in a battle before death._

Enoshima Junko looked up and surveyed the room. One of the pillars was broken down, the door was sealed shut with several screws (if Kumagawa had the ability to summon bolts it would have been literally bolted shut) there were several different weapons that they had brought out from the Final Dead Room to play with just lying on the ground. In addition Hitoyoshi Zenkichi was screwed to the wall.  
  
She walked up to the body and reached to exam it more closely. She was oddly quiet in that moment, tracing her finger along the neck of the body. The moment she nudged the boy even slightly however, the head rolled off it’s shoulders and onto the ground. Junko took a step back making sure her shoes would not be smashed with any blood as that was her top priority.  
  
She looked up, and then around the room and finally under the column found a severed piece of rope. She looked at it to inspect it more closely, it was frayed in a distinct way as if it had undergone some sudden tension and snapped.  
  
Junko walked over to the column itself once again and walked the whole length of it, she surveyed the areas where it had fallen and broken apart. Then she immediately turned ot the other boy, “Misogi, try to lift that column!”

『Yes, princess!』Kumagawa did exactly as she said, but he struggled to lift the column up and could not even remove the other intact column from the ground. _  
_ _  
_ “Well, you’re about as strong as Medaka-chan so… if you couldn’t do it then none of us should be able to dead-lift that column. Okay, bored now, done!!”

『Wait, aren’t you going to tell me what you’re thinking?』  
  
“We’re lovers Misogi, we have an unspoken bond. You should just be able to tell what I’m thinking.”

『Sometimes a spoken bond is handy!』

“Well, one more thing we need to establish what time we think it is. We don’t know exactly how long that poison knocked us out. When we drank it it had been the start of Zenkichi’s second day with us, and by my count it was the 44th day on this island total.”

『Wait, how did you know that much time had passed, Monokuma-chan didn’t do morning and evening anouncement’s and we don’t know day and night in here.』  
  
“From the second we arrived I’ve just been counting the seconds to keep track of time.”

『Whoa, your brain really is like a computer it’s got it’s own digital clock and everything. Can I play minesweeper on it?』  
  
“No it’s my brain, mine! Now, there’s no way whoever killed Hitoyoshi-kun didn’t use the gimmick of the funhouse tower. That’s like masterminding 101.” 

『Yeah, Junko it’s talking like that that’s just going to make us look more suspicious.』  


**Evidence Acquired** **  
** **> Zenkichi Screwed to Wall by his hands and feet** **  
** **> No Blood Stains** **  
** **> SIgns of a Battle** **  
** **> Broken Pillar** **  
** **> Weapon Pile** **  
** **> Screwed door shut** **  
** **> Junko and Kumagawa’s account** **  
** **> Zenkichi’s Detached Head** **  
** **> Funhouse Gimmick** **  
** **> Pillar Fragments** **  
** **  
**

**  
**  ♛

 

Komaeda stopped just short of the elevator. “How strange, if I were the killer I would have broken the elevator panel to delay the investigation the same way the door was screwed shut.”

“You know if you say ‘If I was the killer’ that’s just going to make you sound suspicious.” Hinata commented behind him.  
  
Komaeda suddenly winced. An entirely different expression took root on his face, the melancholy of before gone as he smiled. “True… But I’m not responsible. There is no doubt that the killer is responsible. But it seems as though they made a huge mistake. There’s no way “Symbols of Hope” will allow Hitoyoshi-kun’s murder to go unavenged. There’s no way everyone will just… cross their arms and wait for the class trial to start. We need to do everything on our end to prepare, right?”  
  
“W-well, yeah…” Pekoyama said turning back from the clock she was inspecting. All three of them had found their way in strawberrytower.  
  
“Ah, I’m so glad. I knew you were pumped from the start. How beautiful. Even though you are suffering from despair, I can see that you are still fighting for hope unlike me whose useless right now. Ah, such beauty. There’s no greater honor than investigating this murder for you guys… and for Hitoyoshi-kun I’m so glad I can help… I can… I can…” Komaeda suddenly started to skip as if the CD running in his brain were scratched. _Can I? Can I side with the killer this time?_ The question that had been repeating over his head again and again. _I have to face everything head on… why am I trying to do this… I’m so weak if I let one death shake me up this much. Unless this ends with true hope… then Zenkichi’s death will have been for nothing.  
_

_“What are you talking about his death was already for nothing. You’ve run out of miracles, whether you side with the killer or everybody else it doesn’t matter he’ll still be dead in the end.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Shut up! This isn’t happening. My brain is already several kinds of broken but I’m not going to start hearing voices. Really, how laughable._ “Ahah...hahaahaha…”  
  
“What’s Nagito doing?” Pekoyama said looking up again from the clock.  
  
“He’s just laughing to himself.”  
  
“Is he alright?”  
  
“Yeah, he just does that from time to time. I like to think he thought of a really funny pun but kept it to himself because puns are embarrassing.”

  
“You really do get to know your friends well, my friend Hajime. Could anybody ask fo a friend as considerate as you?”  
  
“Uh… thanks… wait, do you still think I’m the traitor.”  
  
“If you were the traitor, I’m sure you’d only be one of those traitors who could be persuaded to betray their friends and stain their hands for everybody else’s sake, that’s how much you care about others, my friend Hajime. Besides, if you were a traitor and hid it all this time that would be a symbol of how clever you can be in your own right.”  
  
“Umm… thanks again, but I’m not the traitor okay. What are you looking at so intensely?”  
  
Pekoyama readjusted her glasses. “That portrait up there… the name, is it Kamakura Izuru?”  
  
Komaeda suddenly felt another sharp pain right behind his eyes, like a screw was becoming undone back there.  “Hinata-kun, Hitoyoshi-kun talked with us a few days ago right?”  
  
“Three days exactly we talked with him in the middle of the night, then we just continued on the island like usual and saw him at breakfast and dinner and then afterwards Kurokami-san came to wake us up this morning and said that he suddenly went missing after telling her he was going to the funhouse.” Hinata reported, his memory much clearer than the always somewhat foggy minded Komaeda.  
  
“Pekoyama-san, did anything strange to you happen in the past few days.”  
  
“Oh… I didn’t want to report it becase I did not want my friend Hajime to be disappointed with me, but the fuzzies I was carefully watching over in Tanaka-kun’s absence disappeared. I’m not a strong enough master yet.”

“For the past few days, what were you doing? By chance were you thinking about everything that’s happened so far and getting choked up…?”  
  
“Wha-...”  
  
“Was I right?”  
  
“Yes, I’ve been self reflecting the past few days ever since Hitoyoshi-kun said something to me.”  
  
“And I thought you were fantasizing about Kuzuryuu-kun or something.”  
  
“Actually, I was fantasizing about Hajime.”  
  
“Wha-?” Komaeda said, a quiet gasp.  
“Wha!”  Hinata said, much louder.  
  
“I’m just joking.” Pekoyama said in a voice devoid of any emotion.  
  
Hinata scratched at the back of his head. “You know usually when you tell a joke it’s supposed to be in a different tone of voice than the voice you normally use.”  
  
“Oh, is that so I’ll be sure to take note of that for the future.” Pekoyama said, still not letting any emotion into her voice. “For a trickster you were tricked surprisingly easy, Nagito.”  


“That’s right there’s no way you’d think of him, you know how pointless it is to cling to memories of the dead.” Komaeda’s fingers traveled across his face, trying to grasp onto something and failing. “You’re much stronger than me…”  
  
Komaeda walked all the way to the door to the strawberry hall door and looked at the open button. He leaned forward and investigated the open door switch, noticing a strange substance on it. He touched it and then licked his finger. “Hmmm…. It’s chocolate.”

“Dude, what are you some kind of cat don’t just lick whatever you find?” Hinata fussed behind him.  
  
“Having a reserve student worry about my health how insulting. Does it make you feel helpful babysitting your betters like this?” Komaeda said back spitefully, before turning around and heading in the other direction. “Oh, and stop following me. What can a reserve course student possibly contribute to an investigation? So far all you’ve ever accomplished was piece together other’s deductions and claim them as your own. It’s annoying watching a normal person play a game of being detective while the lives of our friends are on the line.”  
  
“Oh…” Hinata said immediately deflating.  
  
“Why are you stopping, my friend Hajime?”  
  
“Do you think Nagito said all that stuff because he doesn’t like me anymore? Was I just annoying him trying to investigate?”  
  
“That was fast, my friend Hajime. Well, the reason you are so sensitive is just because you possess a beautiful delicate soul, and you use such insecurity to drive yourself to help others turning a flaw into a positive feature.”  
  
“Why are you flattering me so much lately, Peko.”  
  
“I thought it would help your self esteem if I pointed out your good points whenever possible. Is it helping?”  
  
“Yeah, a little bit actually.”  
  
“Then, my esteemed friend let’s go follow Nagito again.”  
  
“Wha- but he just told us not to follow him.”  
  
“That’s basically Nagito-speak for please follow me.”  
  
“Since when did you learn Nagito-speak? Wait, wait, where did he even go he just disappeared?”  
  
The two of them had stopped from their walking in front of a room with a large clown face on it, marked ‘Final Dead Room’ on the wall. “Knowing Nagito’s propensity for clowish antics I presume he went into the creepy clown room.”  
  
“Can’t we check the other rooms first? I don’t want to go in the creepy clown room.”  
  
Pekoyama put a gentle hand on Hinata’s shoulder to encourage him from behind. Well, it was her version of gentle at least which was several times more forceful than normal. “You can do it, because you’re much braver than you think you are my friend Hajime. Embrace the creepy clown.”  
  
“I don’t wanna! I don’t wanna embrace the creepy clown!”

 **Evidence Acquired** **  
** **> Missing Hamsters** **  
** **> Komaeda and Hinata’s testimony** **  
** **> Chocolate found on the open button**  


 ♛

 

The moment all three entered the final dead room, iron bars fell from the ceiling cutting them off from the door behind.  
  
“I see the door’s designed to automatically lock - what are you two doing here?” Komaeda said, as he turned around and saw that Hinata and Pekoyama had followed behind him.  
  
“There is no way we would allow you to solve the life threatening puzzle alone.”  
  
“Yeah! You can’t get rid of us that easily.”  
  
“Pekoyama-san, please don’t allow yourself to be swayed by the stupidity of a reserve course student, I’m the only one who should solve this puzzle because I’m the only one here that doesn’t care if I die.”  
  
“That’s not true, I consider my life expendable as well since I no longer have anyone to wield me.”  
  
“You’re an Ultimate you should be able to grasp another reason to live beyond Kuzuryuu-san’s sake! I’m way more expendable than you are!”  
  
“Hey, can we not compete over who wants to die the most? Kay, thanks.” Hinata said as he looked around the room. They were in a washed out looking room, with several spatterings of blood on the wall. There was a laptop on the corner, and numbers written on the wall in blood as well.  
  
“The only way trash like me can be useful is by risking my life for everyone’s sake… and games are no fun if there’s nothing on the line, right?” Komaeda said, as he too started to look around. Even though Pekoyama had dragged Hinata in here to help the boys get along she noticed right away that they were avoiding each other in such a confined space and making sure to both investigate opposite sides of the room. It was almost impressive from a third person point of view the circles those two walked around each other.  
  
“There’s no such thing as a human being who doesn’t deserve to live, you’re not a tool like me Nagito. Aren’t you at least a little bit scared?”  
  
Komaeda knelt down low to search the bed and the Monokuma plushie that was sitting on top of it did not even turn around to acknowledge her. “My heart is beating fast, and I can’t think straight right now, but that’s obviously just excitement. You know, isn’t it exciting to think that I can finally be useful for the sake of those who shoulder hope?”  
  
The numbers 3, 6, 7 were written on different walls as well as the phrase “watch the news.”  There was also a symbol written on blood on the floor, a symbol that was often seen on maps. Komaeda walked over to the dresser dawer and pulled on the handle, finding a pair of pliers which he stuffed in his jacket pocket. There was also a slip of paper that was labeled “Uncompress Password” with “S M - - - - S” and “0123456” written in two columns. The third drawer was locked so he left it alone for now. He walked over to the coat hanger and picked it up, and then used the pliars on the ahnger to create a wire. In the closet he noticed the number “5” was written.  
  
Komaeda walked to the bed, and used the wire he had created to grab something shiny under the bed. He pulled out the desk key, and then moved to the desk to unlock the third drawer. He walked over to the onokuma plushie. “Life sized Monokuma plushie only 10,000 dollars.” He reached forward and then cut it open to retreieve  pair of batteries, leaving the plushie crudely cut in half. He moved over to a digital number marchine on the wall and noticed there was no place to put in the passcode. He then noticed a place to put in combinations on another wall. “A four digit pass code. Alright, let’s try all 9,999 combinations. I’ll leave the mindless work to you, reserve course student.”  
  
“No thank you!” Hinata snapped.  
  
Komaeda looked back at him. “What have you two been doing anyway while I was working on solving the puzzle?”

Hinata immediately picked up a pair of panties he had found underneath the blankets of the bed. They were black, with a red emblem on the center. “I was asking Pekoyama-san if she recognized these. They might be a part of the puzzle.”  
  
“Those are… obivously not a part of the puzzle.” Komaeda fought the urge to roll his eyes, and put in the combination that he had already figured out. Pekoyama must not have been able to figure it out yet because Hinata was distracting her with her stupidity. ‘3957’ the numbers on the wall, inside the safe Komaeda found a camera and a USB stick. He placed the batteries inside the camera, and then noticed a photo of a space poster put on a wall somewhere. He noticed the laptop finally and drew the USB Stick out of his pocket.  
  
Komaeda put together the hint from the drawer, and the picture of the planets. The passcode combination was the first letter of all the planets and the sun. “Sun, Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Saturn, Jupiter, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto… oh well I guess pluto doesn’t count anymore I’m sorry Pluto.” He was genuinely sorry.  
  
The next thing to come up on screen was nine rows of various black and white dots. Hinata was now looking over his shoulder having lost interest in the panties that were distracting him. “Is this, Othello…?”  
  
“Can you try to mouth breathe a little less reserve course student? In fact you’re taking up too much air in this escape room and endangering the life of Pekoyama-san and I by limiting our time even further.”  
  
“...Sorry.”  
  
“That’s fine, I would gladly suffocate to death fo your sake my friend, Hajime.”  
  
“Like I’d want you to do that!” Hinata snapped at her.  
  
“Why are you looking over my shoulder anyway? Are you trying to copy my homework? How very like you to try to plagiarize the work of an Ultimate, even an Ultimate in name only like me.”

  
Komaeda figued it out and went back to the numbe input pad, inputting 9875. “Reusing gimmicks does conserve energy, I suppose.” He said as he pressed the okay button again. Finally the led screen fell open, and Komaeda used the usb stick to turn it.  
  
“Oh, hey! We cleared it! With our powers combined we were able to clear it!” Hinata said, turning around at the same time as Komaeda to see a table suddenly rise up out of the floor, with a revolver sitting on the table.  
  
“We…?”  Komaeda said and then he turned his head away from Hinata. “I suppose we do make a unique trio, I’m the schemer, Pekoyama is the muscles and Hinata-kun is the useless fanservice character.”  
  
“Fanservice character!” Hinata snapped again, “Wait are you calling me pretty?”  
  
“Whoc ares about clearing it…?” Komaeda changed the subject right away. “Why does the exit feel like it’s not opening.” He walked over to the exit and the entrance and tried both doors only for the handles to jiggle without moving. He found a letter on the floor, and read the rooms. He found the clown stationery to be especially cute.

_About the life threatening game- It’s “Life-Threatening Roulette.” Ps. You are held liable for setting the roulette's difficulty. Depending on the difficult, I’ve prepared special prizes, but make sure you don’t overdo yourself!”_

“Hmm, I see. So that’s what It meant. It means the games up till now were just the opening act...From this point on is the real performance.”  
  
“Performance, is somebody watching this?” Hinata asked, not quite getting the meta speak.  
  
“It’s a metaphor, Hinata-kun. Oh right Reserve Course Student. A metaphor is a figure of speech. Oh, right, Hinata-kun. A figure of speech is a word or phrase which is symbolic of something else, especially something abstract. See, a gun came out from there which means I have to use it to play russian roulette right?” Komaeda picked up the gun while both Hinata and Pekoyama hesitated behind him. _The rules of Russian roullete, you put a gun in the chamber and then spin it and there’s a one sixth chance you’ll die. Where do I know that._ _  
_

_“I can’t live with or without you.”_ _  
_

The phrase repeated from the back of his mind, and suddenly he felt a terrible sensation behind his eyeball, like a spider was crawling back behind his eye and then spinning up webs to further gum up the workings of his brain. He could feel it’s long legs moving along the winkles of his brain, resting on is brain stem, or at least that was what the sudden shooting pain felt like. His hand trembled holding onto the gun, as he remembered.

_Junko immediately began to drool at the sight of despair. Kumagawa however, clapped a hand over her mouth to stop her from saying anything and making the scene worse.  『Nagito-chan what are you doing exactly?』_

_Komaeda stopped, leaving the barrel ajar. “Oh this, this is a gun I picked up overseas. I pointed it at Enoshima-san when I first met her.” He tipped it back towards his head. “It’s a fun game I like to play when I’m down to cheer myself up, russian roullete.”_

_『Yeah for some reason I feel like there’s a deep emotional reason that you decided to symbolically stick a gun to your head at the moment.』Kumagawa said as he approached. The moment he took a step forward though, Komaeda pointed the gun at him._

_“Don’t get any closer. I’m just a parasite you see.” He cracked a manic smile. “I was selfishly hoarding the person who had the greatest hope in the world sleeping within them all to myself, just because I wanted some company who could survive being around me without dying.”_

_『Huh? What’s so wrong about that?』_

_“It was never about hope, or being of use to others. I just wanted to play house.” He clicked the barrel back in after spinning it, and pointed it at Kumagawa once more. “Isn’t that what you’re doing right now? You’re fighting so you can just keep playing house. Well, you’re trying to keep the world’s ultimate despair contained so I guess that makes you less selfish than myself.”_

_Komaeda stopped pointing the gun at Kumagawa, and then placed it back on his forehead. Before he could intervene though, Kumagawa had erased the distance between them and suddenly was standing right in front of him. He grabbed Komaeda’s wrist and twisted it around placing it right back on his forehead.  『It’s fine, I don’t think you’re wrong. It’s okay to be selfish, Nagito-chan. It’s natural for those who have lost so much to want to hold onto things.』_

_“I hate it. I hate being comforted by someone as stupid as you!” He struck him hard with the butt end of the gun. However, Kumagawa did not break the gaze into his eyes. “I’m only using you, you know! You’re just a band aid to my problems! I’m going to enjoy watching it when Kurokami-san crushes you! I’ll enjoy watching you fall as much as Enoshima-san. I’ll feel good, I’ll smile even when you die, because you died for the sake of hope!”_

_『So you’ll feel hope at my death? And Enoshima-san will feel despair at my death? That’s good to know. You’re so kind, Nagito-chan caring for a worthless life like mine who nobody should miss.』He twisted his wrist again and pointed the barrel towards his own forehead._

_『I wouldn’t mind at all, being betrayed by a kind person like you. I don’t mind if you suck all my blood and leave me as a shriveled up corpse, who was it that decided that ticks shouldn’t get any nourishment either?』_

_At that moment before Komaeda could stop him, Kumagawa twisted the gun even further until he wrapped his finger over Komaeda’s. Then, he forced Komaeda to pull the trigger. Because of Kumagawa’s bad luck at that moment, the bullet was in the correct chamber, and it fired straight at his forehead._

_Kumagawa fell backwards, bleeding from a single hole in his head. A moment later he sat up again, Junko and Komaeda both watching him. Komaeda watched with tears in his eyes. Junko looked annoyed, with her hands on her hips, and her finger nails digging into the cloth of her skirt._

_『Don’t you see it’s pointless trying to kill me, Enoshima-san. You should just give up on despair already. Won’t you be happier, enjoying your youth with the rest of us?』_

_Enoshima Junko smiled pleasantly. She sat down next to him on the ground and whispered something soft in his ear. “Do you want to know how I really feel? Do you want to know what I think about you?”_

_『Yeah, more than anything else in the world.』_

_“Are you fucking kidding me? I don’t think anything about you at all. I’ve already figured out five thousand ways to kill you. I could have sent mind controlled idiots to kill you over and over, or drown you in a box forcing you to revive continuously.The fact that you assume I might be holding back because of some special feelings for you, that's just fucking hilarious how ou let yourself get a big head.  I’m holding back because I can be patient and wait for the most despairing ending possible. I’m going to make your precious Medaka-chan kill you, and then throw you and her to despair in the same stroke.”_

_Kumagawa merely smiled at her, as she whispered such nasty things into his ear 『Ah, Junko-chan seeing that terrible face  of yours is so refreshing.』He smiled back up at her, touching the side of his cheek and forcing her to meet his eyes again._

_"A loser like you is only interesting to me dead. Sucks to be you, I guess. Maybe if you had been born a talented person like Matsuda-kun I could enjoy you a little bit while alive."_

_For a moment they stared into each other’s eyes as if spellbound.『If that’s how you really feel, I suppose then I’ll just have to become a man who never dies.』_

_Komaeda’s head fell forward, as he collapsed into sobs effectively ruining the moment. “P-please, please don’t die.”_

_『I won’t.』_

_“He will.”_

_『Don’t listen to her. I don’t know who hurt your feelings like that Nagito-chan but it’s fine. You can live with or without them.』_

_You can live with or without them. That’s right… I played Russian Roulette on that day, but who was it? Who hurt me? Who was Kumagawa-kun trying to comfort me about?_ He felt like he was forgetting something incredibly important. There was somebody who had been important to him before Zenkichi. _I should have been the one to die this round, not Hitoyoshi-kun. No stop thinking about that it doesn’t matter, you can’t change what’s already happened. Once the die are cast, that’s it. That’s how it’s always been for you?_ _  
_ _  
_ Komaeda put the gun to his temple, trying to remember what he felt that day. Monokuma told them he did not take any of their memories, so why did his memories feel scrubbed clean of one individual? Was it his fault. This person was so important to him, and yet he had forgotten about him he could not even remember a name. If that was the case it was probably Komaeda’s fault, for being such a selfish and careless person who was always losing things. _Who… who were you? I want to see you again, I miss you terribly… do you feel the same about me? It’s arrogant of me just to ask._

“Hold on, Nagito… What are you doing?” Hinata said, suddenly appearing right in his face, taking up the whole of his vision.

“What am I doing? Playing Russian Roullete obviously. What kind of idiot doesn’t know the rules of russian roulette.”  
  
“It’s not much of a talent, but… even I have an Ultimate-level talent, you know. I’m the Ultimate Lucky Student. If I can’t win a simple one in six odds of failure, what kind of Ultimate talent is that? I mean, if my luck gets me killed like this… There’s no way you can call it talent. If I’m truly the ultimate lucky student I need to survive here, isn’t that right?”  
  
“That’s right.” Pekoyama said, before easily grabbing his wrist and prying the gun away from his hand. “You don’t even know how to handle a gun, leave it to a killer like me.” She spun the barel a second time and pointed it at her own forehead.  
  
“What are you doing? I just said I’m the one best equipped to handle this challenge, my talent is worthless if I can’t…”  
  
“You’re always calling your talent worthless anyway, so there’s no need to prove yourself in order to keep living. Leave it to an expendable tool like me, my classmate, Nagito.” Pekoyama said as her finger twitched at the trigger.  
  
Before she could pull it though, Hinata raised his voice loud enough that both of them were stunned. “I SAID WILL YOU TWO STOP COMPETING FOR WHO GETS TO DIE FIRST!” When Pekoyama hesitated he snatched the gun away from her, and at the same time Komaeda tried to grab the gun to. All three of them at the same time struggled over the gun until it was pointed at Hinata when by accidental bad luck one of them pulled the trigger.  
  
“...”  
“...”  
“...”  
  
The gun clicked and nothing happened. “Oh thank god, I didn’t blow my pretty face off…” Hinata sighed in relief, as all three of them let go and the locks on the doors clicked open.  
  
Komaeda however could not relax that easily now, or ever really if we were being honest. He suddenly reached forward and grabbed Hinata by his shirt pulling him forward. “What were you thinking? You’re just a worthless reserve course student did you really think you could risk your life on a test that is meant to challenge Ultimates? You would have died and been thrown out like the worthless trash you are.”  
  
Hinata was stronger though and easily tore Komaeda’s hands off of him. “If I’m just trash then it shouldn’t matter if I die right? Or are you just secretly concerned and turning up your nasty personality to try to scare me off…”  
  
“... Nasty?”  
  
“Well, I’m so glad that on top of your pedestal you can look down on the normal folk underneath you and feel actual concern for them. When you’re not too busy even looking at people on higher pedestals. Besides you were the one who pointed the gun at your head first? Are you suicidal or something, that’s crazy!”

“Wow, you finally noticed that the person constantly begging the others to kill them on the island might sound slightly suicidal. What wonderful powers of deduction you have for a reserve course student.” Komaeda sighed, and wiped his hand where Hinata had rebuked him on his jacket. “Not that somebody like you could understand it, but I’m not suicidal. It’s not like I want to die, who wants to die? I’m just comfortable with my own death… or I have to be…I already explained this to you in the past I thought I did a good job that time why doesn’t… why doesn’t anybody listen to me… ah, it’s my fault, my fault probably.” Komaeda started to murmur to himself as he walked into the next room.  
  
Pekoyama and Hinata looked at each other and followed him. They noticed a room filled with several weapons lining the shelves, though several of the crates were empty. Komaeda was sure even Hinata could make the deduction that the weapons that were lying all over the floor in the tower had come from this room.  
  
Komaeda noticed a file on the ground and picked it up, paging through it. “Hmm, this is just an after action report of a killing game before this one? It matches the scenario in the visual novel that Monokuma set up for us… Hey, Hinata-kun did you know the fourth round in that killing game was a suicide?”  
  
“Stop talking about suicide, Nagito I don’t want to hear it anymore.”  
  
“Normally I would apologize, but who cares if your ears are bothered by my obnoctious voice. I’m sorry if I’m agitating you in anyway though, Pekoyama-san.”

Komaeda wandered around for a moment, as did Pekoyama and Hinata looking at the weapons gathered in the room for the so-called ultimate weapon. Komaeda was the first to notice a conspicuous window at the edge of the room. _Why is there only one window in a place like this…?_ In his mind he entertained various possibilities as he slowly peeked out the window. When he looked out the window it was unlike any possibility he had imagined. At that moment the various clues he had gathered clicked in his mind. _Why did Hitoyoshi-kun have to be the one to die instead of me? If I had killed myself to free Kumagawa-kun and Enoshima-san this wouldn’t be happening. Why did Hitoyoshi-kun have to die? For what reason? Could it be… If that’s it then… I won’t forgive… I won’t forgive… I won’tforgiveIwon’tforgiveIwon’tforgive._ _  
_

“He, hehehe, hehehehehahhahaha, Ahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha!” Komaeda suddenly broke into laughter. “Yeah, I see! I understand now! Thanks to how I arrived here all the pieces have fallen together thanks to one clue. Haha.. I know now’s not the time to enjoy things but, this is definitely a good feeling.” _Yes, I’m really happy right now. I’m really happy things have turned out this way._ Komaeda thought again and again as he forced himself to laugh.

Pekoyama and Hinata could only watch in the background as he clutched his head and thrashed about suddenly, holding himself and looking like if he did not hold onto himself tightly the individual pieces of his body would fall apart with laughter.

 **> Panties in the Final Dead Room** **  
** **> The Mystery of the Ultimate Weapon**

 

 ♛

 

  
Kumagawa and Junko took their investigation to the room in grape tower with the clock. Kumagawa was currently staring at the portrait of an old man while Junko investigated around. 『Izuru-chan really let himself go...』 He mumbled.  
  
“Hey, Misogi-senpai? Aren’t you at all bothered that Hitoyoshi-kun died instead of one of us? You’re kind of a terrible friend aren’t you?”

『Yep, you’re exactly right. That’s why my only friend is somebody terrible like you.』  
  
“If we never slept and you were forced to choose. Would you have killed Hitoyoshi-kun to stop me from starving to death in the funhouse?”

『No… because that would mean sacrificing myself. Haven’t I told you not to ask questions you already know the answer to? Every single time, I’ve chosen it again, again, again, again, the path that lets me keep living with you is the path I’ll choose.』  
  
“Even if it means betraying the whole world?”

『It’s not my fault the world betrayed me first!』Kumagawa said, smiling at her with a face of pure innocence. His eyes were pure like glass, but glass that was too clean and you could only see your reflection in obscuring what was on the other side.  
  
Junko went to sit on the couch. Almost naturally, Kumagawa followed her. She did not miss a beat, leaning on his shoulder and closing the gap between them the moment he sat down. There was an odd sort of rhythmn to their actions, they were on a wavelength only receivers as twisted as them could possibly understand.  
  
“Misogi, talk over some details of the case with me.”

『An order!? Yes, princess. It’s strange that you’re consulting with an idiot like me.』  
  
“Well, I had some thoughts…”

『Wait? Thinking? What’s that? Is that something that the smart and talented people do?』  
  
“Quit it you. This isn’t the time for laughter this is a murder investigation in a killing game.”

『But those are the times we need to laugh the loudest. Otherwise how are us clowns supposed to get the last laugh?』  
  
“I thought that since you understand people’s… ick, I can’t believe I’m saying this, feelings better, well not understand so much as care- than I do that we might be able to work together.”

『So you’re sharing your thoughts with me? Usually you keep them in your head, which makes sense because they’re often so terrible… but, even if your thoughts make me sick I would want to hear them.』  
  
“Did you notice anything weird in the way Hitoyoshi-kun had been acting?”

『Well, Zenkichi-chan is a prude so isn’t it strange he suddenly barged in with us and slept in our bed that night. I’ve never known him to be afraid of ghosts either, he’s definitely the brave type.』  
  
“It could be that there was a fourth person in the funhouse with us that we didn’t even notice… even the mastermind themselves. In fact, if the mastermind were to kill somebody and then frame one of us for it that would be such a baller move on the mastermind’s part!”

『Isn’t that cheating?』  
  
“It’s not breaking the rules if I do it. I mean if the mastermind does it.”

『What a self serving set of rules! Hmm, there’s one more thing. We should confirm the amount of time that passed while we were asleep, our perception of time in this place may be different from everybody else.』Kumagawa said as he walked over to the clock lifting it up. 『Especially since this clock has been tampered with and broken.』  
  
**> Changed Clock** **  
** **> Zenkichi’s Strange Behavior** **  
** **  
** 『Still, it’s odd. You haven’t investigate donce before this, why now?』  
  
“This is the first time I couldn’t figure out the mystery right away. Whoever set this up, they’re obviously somebody almost as smart of me if they could disguise their fingerprints to this extent… it might even be the mastermind who trapped me. Just thinking about facing them is making me all tingly…”

『Oh.』  
  
“What do you mean, oh?”

『It’s an exclamation.』  
  
“I understand what the word oh means, I mean why did you say it?”

『I just thought… I was the enemy who was going to defeat you finally. Now you’re all excited about facing off against this mystery person when we were finally getting along so well.』  
  
“Baby, baby baby bear river. You’re such a baby god. I can’t believe you’re jealous over that of all things.” Junko said, and then let her head fall into his lap as she casually stretched out over the rest of the couch like a cat. “Why do you think I’m trying so hard to defeat this person? Because I only want to be defeated by you, the same way you’ve chosen me I’ve chosen you as my ultimate final enemy.”

『Oh...』Kumagawa said softly.  
  
“Oh, indeed.” Junko repeated, even softer like she was humming.  
  
Ajimu and Mukuro were watching from around the corner. “Are you sure you want that, Ikusaba-san. Kumagawa-kun might just turn out to be a different kind of trouble that Junko-chan is already as family.”  
  
“Why are you always fussing over Kumagawa-kun so much? Could it be…”  
  
“There’s no way a non-human like me could feel familial connections.”  
  
Mukuro tilted her head. “Huh? Why not? Maybe I don’t get it because I’m not as smart as Junko, but you look like a human all the time, and you act just as petty as Junko does. Doesn’t that pettiness make you human? What’s the difference anyway, everybody on this island treats you like a human.”  
  
“If I was a human, that’d be scary don’t you think? Then I could fail like a human, and there’d be nobody to hold back that despair inducing duo.” Ajimu said as she gestured with her head to Kumagawa and Junko. “After fighting all this time, the time alone together has them finally working together for the same goal. They might be scarier together than they are alone.”

“Aren’t you the one who arranged for them to meet in the first place? Why did you set them up, if you’re so against them getting along right now?” Mukuro asked beside her.  
  
“I can glimpse into alternate futures, and the world where they never met Kumagawa-kun lived quite a happy life you know. He overcame his troubles at Sandbox Academy, and even had a wife and child. However, he was never able to overcome the guilt for what his misfortune brought on others, and one day he simply disappeared to die in a ditch somewhere leaving that small amount of happiness she had found behind. I thought… because he’s empty inside I have to chain him down with something otherwise he’ll just try to disappear again, somebody he could not live with or without, but he went and did something else entirely. He doesn’t want to use Junko as a chain, he wants to walk by her side. That troublesome younger brother of mine, he never listens.”  
  
“Oh…” Mukuro remarked with an oh as well, not really understanding most of her speech. Then, she smiled gently,  a much more relaxed smile than she usually gave. “So you do see him as family after all.”  
  
“Mm, the truth is. Both him and Junko, they’re like a troublesome younger brother and sister that I can’t ever quite get out of my hair.”  
  
“What’s this about being a sister! You literally tried to kill me with an axe and you make me miserable at every corner how is that seeing me as a sister?” Junko said, from her position laying down on Kumagawa’s lap.  
  
Ajimu smiled back at her. “That’s just how I show my sisterly affection. It’s not so fun is it, being on the other side of such a warped love.”  
  
“You stop that, storytelling devices like irony are only fun when they apply to everybody else not me. I don’t want to be a part of this story!”

『Hmmm, but you have to be a part of this story, Junko. Because I like it quite a lot, the story where we met.』  
  
Just then, the bell rang announcing their time for investigation had run out.

Whatever self reflecting they still had yet to do, whatever investigation of the twisted and knotted ties that connected all of them would have to be done later. Though, for one of them those ties would quickly become a noose to strangle them.

 


	40. Smile at Despair in the Name of Laughter (12 - Hero x Mastermind)

_If Naegi-kun had died, how would I feel?  
Would I be able to feel?  
Would I be able to mourn him properly like a normal girl?_

That was all Kirigiri Kyoko could think as she stared at the proud back of Kurokami Medaka advancing ahead of her. Kirigiri felt emotions just like everybody else, though she always repressed hers to keep a cool head. Yet, she could not understand the emotions of the girl in front of her. Perhaps she never understood anybody’s emotions to begin with, except from a logical standpoint. That had never been her ‘job’ in her proverbial partnership with Naegi.  
  
Up until that place Hope’s Peak, school had felt like just an obligation to her. All she needed to learn was what her grandfather taught her and what she learned following the world at his side solving mysteries, or at least that was what she had thought. There was nothing a school could teach her that was relevant to the life of a detective. So, she showed up because of compulsory education laws and tried to keep her presence and engagement as minimal as possible.  
  
Hope’s Peak was different. It was the first time she felt she had classmates, it was the first time she wanted to attend school. She realized there were entire new worlds of information with those people that she could learn about, outside of the world of being a detective. Yet, she was not the catalyst for that discovery. That discovery came from meeting by chance, a random boy who had been drafted into their class after a lottery.  
  
Even after she had started to care about her classmates though, she spent most of her time away from them. Her duties as a detective came first, and there were no laws of compulsory attendance at Hope’s Peak so she would often spend weeks at a time away from the school in investigations, only showing up for special days and for the end of semester tests to retain her status as the Ultimate Detective. The longest amount of time she had spent on campus, was to investigate on her own a project… a project… what was that called again? It was so strange for the mind of a detective to forget something so crucial as her last major investigation before all these strange events started happening one after another, book ended and begun by the appearance of Kumagawa MIsogi.  
  
The reason she began to grow close to her classmates was Naegi Makoto, and because she had always put detective work over school even to this day, if he had not pursued her over and over again she was completely convinced they never would have become close. Yet, she was not around enough and she had never tried to understand her classmates on her own, simply relying on Naegi’s belief in them for the both of them. Naegi was her connection to the others, but many times over the course of her time isolated on this island where such conditions were ripe for self reflection did she ponder what would have happened if she had turned down those investigations. If she had gotten to know her classmates better. Would she have noticed that something was amiss with Enoshima Junko and Ikusaba Mukuro, would she have noticed in time that they were not who they appeared to be. From a distance she had always thought of them as her beloved classmates, and yet she had never once understood them.

Thus the question came to her mind, what would she did if Naegi Makoto died? She relied too much on that boy to be her heart for her, it would be like having her heart, her human half ripped away from her. Her connection to everybody else would have been severed. Because, she never once tried to pursue Naegi, she had been content to let him pursue her.  
  
Of course, as the natural result of her contentment just when things with Naegi were growing at a natural pace and they were getting used to one another, suddenly a wolf came out of nowhere and snatched him away with her fangs. She had lost him to a girl who had actually bothered to pursue him, directly and without mercy.  
  
But that was a different matter entirely. She had been wondering all this time, which one of them would step up to shoulder everybody’s hopes. Kurokami Medaka was too distant from humanity, Hinata Hajime too insecure and always faltering, Komaeda Nagito too unrelatable, and she herself too emotionless. The rest were all victims of despair which could not be trusted, or at least one would have to be as naive as Naegi Makoto to put any trust in them. Yet, a certain scene had occurred.  
  
While the two of them were alone a few days ago, Hitoyoshi Zenkichi reached out and touched her by the shoulder. “Hey, Mukuro-chan told me…”    
  
“She told you what?” Kirigir Kyoko said, her eyes looking back sharply at him. That was a glance that made even somebody as trusting as Makoto take a step back when he sensed the inherent danger.  
  
Yet Hitoyoshi Zenkichi met her glare head on. “She told me about your father. You’re not alone you know, my father left me because of his own inadequacy too.”  
  
“It wasn’t because of his inadequacy, that was just a lie my grandfather made up. He left because he was angry at my grandfather for not allowing me to be by my mother’s side when she fell ill, I already worked this out with him and filed it away a long time ago.”  
  
“Yeah, but that really sucks doesn’t it? Your dad couldn’t handle the loss of your mother, so he ran away and left you behind even though you were grieving just as much.”  
  
Kirigiri Kyoko’s eyebrow twitched. She had said as much to Ikusaba Mukuro in a breakdown, but she had told Mukuro never to repeat what she saw, and thought that somebody who had worked as a right hand to Enoshima Junko so long could at least keep secrets. “How much did she tell you?”  
  
“She didn’t tell me much, just that your father left you due to a fight with your grandfather. I just… thought about the rest and I figured that’s how it must have felt, because my father left me too. Not that our situation is the same though, I think mine was probably better than yours. My mother even though she was lonely, just raised me normally after that.”

“Was that really for the best though? It’s because she raised you in a normal way that you turned out to be so normal after all, if your mother had pressured you or tried to push you into being something extraordinary you might have turned into somebody even closer to understanding Medaka-chan than you are currently.” Kirigiri knew what she had said was unbelievably cold the moment the words left her lips. All of her pretenses about maturity, and she had done something as childish as lash out simply because this boy’s words had reached a sensitive place and she had previously thought she was above everything.  
  
Yet, Zenkichi still did not flinch. He faced her words head on with a smile. “I guess, probably… something like that could be true but, I don’t need to be an amazingly talented person to understand Medaka-chan. I can understand her just as I am right now… I can still strive to do that as the person I am so. I’m glad that my mother was just a mother to me, before anything else.”

Kirigiri Kyoko’s eyes widened. That was it, the paradox of the Kirigiri code what had bothered her so much. Being a detective first before everything else, even family. She had hated making that choice, because deep in her mind she had wanted her father to choose her, over his own personal feelings of hatred towards his grandfather, and above everything else. She had just wanted one other person to say that, to say that her grandfather was wrong for raising her as a detective first and a daughter second.

“If I ran away from trying to understand Medaka-chan now, just because I thought I wasn’t talented enough, or wasn’t man enough, I’d be no different from my piece of shit dad anyway.”  
  
_Ah._ She thought, it was such a small acknowledgement and yet she realized there was one person on this island that was trying still to reach out to everybody even though they had lost more than half of their members. The despair of everybody around him, had simply convinced him to try even harder to reach out to them. If Naegi Makoto was somebody who never stopped hoping in the face of despair, Hitoyoshi Zenkichi was somebody who never ran away from others. Perhaps it was a side effect of always chasing after Kurokami Medaka, but it had become an integral part of who he was. She was sure that Hitoyoshi would rise up to fill the place of the one to shoulder hope that she thought they needed right now, if he had just lived he would be somebody the entire group could unite around.  
  
If he had lived.  
Which was what returned her to her original question. _How would I feel?_ She was trying to ponder what Kurokami Medaka was feeling right now, because she had always witnessed what seemed to be a cold and stoic girl just like herself who always acted above others fall to emotion again and again. It was strange that when she probably needed to feel emotion the most, Kurokami Medaka was doing nothing more than methodically investigating a crime scene. Kyoko thought she would at least cradle Zenkichi’s body in her arms, or demand that he be taken down from those screws. Yet, when they had found the body apparently it was Komaeda who screamed and not her, Komaeda who always seemed just as aloof to death as he did to life.

Kirigiri was convinced that even though it looked like Naegi that relied too much on her, it was actually the other way around. She was the person who needed Naegi to make connections between her and the others, she needed Naegi to be the symbol for her group to rally around. She often felt like she was pushing too much onto a boy who was far too humble to ever accept that kind of title, but she couldn’t  help it because Naegi Makoto was her hope as well. Hope that even with her stunted upbringing and not believing herself to be a person before being a detective she might one day come to understand others. However, she figured it must have functioned the same for Kurokami and Hitoyoshi. That everybody would assume that Kurokami was the hope of the duo, the one that Hitoyoshi could not live without but to her it seemed the other way around, that Hitoyoshi was strong enough to stand on his own and Kurokami could not stand to live without Hitoyoshi because he was her connection to her own humanity.

That’s what made Kurokami’s lack of a reaction truly puzzling. A puzzle that even an Ultimate Detective could not solve at the moment. Detectives were meant to solve mysteries, not people though. Even if she tried to reason with herself that way though, she could not.

_If I had understood Enoshima Junko more… if I had discerned her true nature, could I have avoided this?_

Even Naegi Makoto could not stand that girl’s true nature though. The one human being on earth he was able to bring himself to dislike, even though he had accepted Junko’s accomplice after admitting all she had done.  
  
Yet, there was one among them who had tried to understand her. Even though he was nothing like the Ultimate Detective, or the Ultimate Hope who could believe in any human being and liked almost anybody he met. In fact, he was quite a petty person who was always looking at others with envy and hoping to drag them down to his level. He was no one special like a long time childhood friend, or a destined enemy so he should have had no special predilection for understanding her.

_So, why him?_

She was sure everybody on this island had the same thought, when they had noticed that Hitoyoshi Zenkichi died and Kumagawa MIsogi had lived.  
_Why were you the one to survive, and not him?_

It was an absolutely terrible thing to think for a survivor, but Kumagawa was a terrible person so she did not mind it too much. Either way, she assessed as she continued to stare at Kurokami Medaka’s back, this trial was different from every trial that came before. Hitoyoshi Zenkichi the hero of everybody on the island had died, they probably all individually felt his loss. The two villains who had survived would have a difficult time fighting his loss to prove their innocence.

Kurokami Medaka finally spoke up, cutting through her moment of reflection. “It’s strange, Kirigiri. Every single time before this you’ve insisted on investigating alone.”  
  
“That was just… my own mistaken pride. I didn’t want the skills of the Kirigiri that I had suffered my entire life to learn to be copied so easily.”  
  
“A lot of people have felt that way in the past about me, that’s perfectly understandable. I used to think I only existed to invalidate the hard work of others…” She said in a voice completely emotionless.  
  
_If Naegi had died, would I be able to hold it together like this? It’s… it’s inhuman._ “No… that’s not what I think anymore. This useless pride, I should be rid of it by now if it gets in the way of finding Hitoyoshi-kun’s killer. That’s what I think… not as a detective but as a human being.”  
  
“That was an unbelievably cool line, Kirigiri.”  
  
_A cool line?_ _  
_ _She seems._ _  
_ _Detached._ _  
_ _Not entirely there._ _  
_ _This presence, or rathe this lack of presence I’ve felt it before._ _  
_ _I thought she was holding back tears, but I get the sense that she’s holding back laughter Kurokami-san, who would you be without Hitoyoshi-kun?_ _  
_ _I feel like that’s one mystery that should have never been solved._ _  
  
_

 ♛

 

 _Whose fault is this?_ _  
_ _Whose side do I take?_ _  
_  
The questions echoed in Komaeda’s head, as they reverberated through the core of his rotted out being, a body that continued to persist far past his own expiration date. _  
  
_

He was a witness to all things. He did not consider himself worthy to stand among the. Perhaps it was just low self esteem, or self degradation in order to disguise his pride at humility, but he really thought his place was to witness this all. He could give meaning to this meaningless death. Even a person like him, insignificant, meant to die alone and forgotten when his luck finally came for him and the shinigami snatched the wick of his candle, could be important.

Important, that was just right he had just wanted to be important. He wanted to be a character cast in a role to play on the script. To be at the center of things, to be important, at least that would give some small meaning to his sufferings. He had always been suffering all alone, driving others away with his own self righteous attitude after all. He wanted to create a narrative and script for that suffering, and give it some kind of meaning. That would be something, right? Maybe it would make it hurt less? Maybe he would be a little less alone in the end, if he could share the stage with everyone else.  
  
He knew he was not important enough to belong with them, but he still desired that belonging. No matter how much he had tried to swallow the bitter feelings in his life, and suffer alone because it was the right thing to do, no matter how much he had tried to keep smiling and keep hoping because it was the right thing to do, the only result of enduring all those tragedies was that he was alone. He tried to deny it a little more, but he could not deny that part of himself, that need to be important to others. So, he decided upon this roundabout method, he decided to offer himself up, self sacrifice like a hero at the end of a movie.  
  
He knew he was unimportant but he wanted to be important. He knew he did not belong with others, but he wanted to belong. He was just indecisive that was all. Despite being indecisive, more than anything he could take actions. He knew there was so much he was incapable of doing, and that was why every small thing he could do, he could. If the Ultimates were the actors on stage, then that left all the other roles that did not get as much recognition, background design, costuming, stage technician, all to him, all labors in the effort to get them to shine. They might be gradual moves, unnoticeable, and they left him unpredictable to others. However, as he worked he started to notice something, despite the Ultimates having every talent in the world, they were not taking every oppurtunity that he did. He was only able to seize a small amount of agency, so why were those on the stage who were capable of so much, stagnating and doing so little?  
  
On this island he had no idea what ending he was going to take, whether he was going to ram a dark ocean floor, or else return to the sun-soaked beach. He did not even know what he wanted. No, wait, he knew exactly what he wanted. He did not want to end up standing in either of those places. He wanted to stand at the end of the beach, whetherit was just a student, or an ultimate despair if he ended up choosing for himself that choice might not be hope. All he wanted to do was go on gazing at the hopes of others, he wanted to keep moving forward believing there would be a greater hope for him to witness in the end. If he could just remain a boat on the water’s edge, going around endlessly, as the waves rocked him back and forth.  
  
The borderline voyeur who always shows up on camera.  
To achieve that, he’s willing to play both arsonist and firefighter.  
A guy with the worst kind of hero complex.

 _“In other words you just want to monopolize people’s despair and bliss, from your front row seat, right? Playing God…_ “  
  
He was not god, but a devil.

He already knew that about himself.

He was sure the people around him were absolutely convinced he had lost his mind at that point, that he was nothing like the Komaeda who reached out and became Zenkichi’s friend but the opposite was true. He had not changed a bit. He had struggled so hard to try to change, but his being was immutable. If he had changed just a little bit, he was sure he could have become somebody who would have acted in time to save Zenkichi. He wanted to be able to change, he had wanted to badly to become that person.  
  
_Whose fault is this?_ _  
_ The question repeated in his head but he already knew the answer, it was his own.  
_Whose side do I take?_ _  
_ The question repeated in his head, but he already knew the answer he wanted to take both sides.  
It was the reason he could never change, because he always wanted to see hope and despair clash over and over again. He could not decide between the hope of the survivor who had kileld and would sacrifice all their friends to escape this island, and the hope of the remaining Ultimates United Togethe, so selfishly he tried to choose both sides. But… it wasn’t about that, he just wanted to keep remaining in the same position he always had.  
  
He just wanted to stay on the edge of the beach, and let the waves continually hit him. The water would splash, he’d hear the rumbling of the waves in his ears, and the salt would sting his eyes bringing tears to the corner of them. If he could withstand that bombardment, his life would be perfect, he would always be in the middle of things, always be important in his own specially crafted way.  
  
Except, he could not withstand it. He had been enduring for so long, and he could not keep enduring farther. It had been far too long, he was so tired, he could not keep on, keep on, going on. The wave of emotion he felt from Zenkichi’s death, dragged him from the beach and threatened to drag him under the surface of the water as the tide receded.

 _Whose fault is this?_ _  
_ He already knew, but he could not accept it. Accepting it would mean drowning, and if he drowned now he would die the same faceless nobody that he had always thought he was. There would be no meaning in his death, and no meaning in Zenkichi’s death either.  
  
He had to keep enduring, even if it meant telling lies and playing the fool a little longer. _Not my fault, not my fault, not my fault, not my fault, it wasn’t me, it wasn’t me, it wasn’t me, it wasn’t me,_ Komaeda thought desperately as he tried to swim and struggle for the surface.

Then, a familiar line occurred. Kumagawa’s voice always seemed synoymous, with the further recesses of his mind, ones where the wrinkles of his brain cast shadows. Kumagawa had said to him this, _You’re just disappointed in your precious Ultimates._ _  
_

The question finally occurred to him. He was the most worthless out of all of them, so why was he the one struggling so hard all on his own? They had all the talent in the world and what were they using it for? Who were they trying to protect? Who were they trying to save?

Just then, Komaeda’s thoughts were interrupted as the whole funhouse shook. When it came time for the trial, Monokuma summoned a giant rock that pierced through the floor of the funhouse.

One by one they all went into the Monokuma Rock, it did not matter if it was a trap they had to get the trial over one way or another. Until, Hajime was the only one left, and when he was about to take a step forward.  
  
“We’re the same… The same… stepladders…”  
  
Monokuma was suddenly standing next to him with his eyes locked on Monokuma Rock, other than the small movements of his mouth he was perfectly still. “You and I were always stepladders for those who hold the title of Ultimate. I always believed that I didn’t mind… Unlike you, I know my place”  
  
“Wh-what are you saying?”  
  
“That’s why I was prepared to become a sacrifice at any time. And from that, true hope would be born… I always believed that the talent that survived would be the true hope. But it wasn’t… There is no hope amidst this killing!” There was no hope that could be borne from Zenkichi’s death. He was supposed to be the main character that transcended hope. He was supposed to unite everybody, but all of those useless Ultimates had forced Zenkichi to bear that burden all on his own.  
  
“O-of course there isn’t! What kind of hope comes from killing people!?”

“Hm? Really? Are you suggesting… that sacrificing others for hope isn’t real hope…? But… you’re wrong. It’s only natural and extremely obvious that strong hope devours weak hope. After all, that’s what it means to live right?” That was how he had been forced to live all that time. Everybody else looked away from him, and he thought that was right and proper because he was such a weak and ugly existence. He did not blame them or hold it against them because they were just trying to keep living, so why when he too was just trying to keep living the only way he knew how by looking away from the faces of those he had to walk ove was he cast as such a villain.  
  
“Th-there’s no way I’m going to accept that.”

 _So you’re saying you’re not going to accept me?_ _  
_ Just, where had he gone wrong? He had gone over it in his head over and over again. Everybody thought he was being confusing on purpose, but he more than anyone else, was trying to transcribe the chaos in his head into a meaningful format that was readable and easy to understand, he wanted to construct it into a narrative that others could enjoy, he wanted to compsose an elegant melody out of cacophonous discord. He was trying hard than anyone else to understand himself and what had happened to him at all times, but this was the result of that. This was the only story he had in him to tell, he had wished truly with all of his heart it had been a better one.  
  
He had truly desired to be a straightforward hero like Naegi Makoto, that everybody could unite around. In his idealized image of himself, he really was that selfless, it was not like he wanted to be selfish, it was reality and necessity that made him that way. How could one not be selfish in his situation?  
  
Selfishness was just… regard for the self.  
Komaeda only ever knew himself, only knew the world from his perspective, he had only seen and experienced his own experiences, nobody once had ever let him in or listened to him long enough to know the outside world.  
  
He could not be the character he wanted to be in the end, but whose fault was that? It could only be his own, because he was the only one who existed in his world, he was the only one standing on his stage. The natural result of that mindset, and those twisted longings of his.  
  
“Oh well… It’s not like that’s what I wanted to say to you anyway. There’s this one novel I like… it’s a peculiar mystery story…’  
  
“Huh…? A novel?”  
  
“The story is told from the point-of-view of a high school girl involved in a serial killer mystery...But when you get to the end.. Surprise, surprise! The girl was actually the killer! Of course, the story is written carefully so the reader doesn’t learn the ending in the middle of the story… The protagonist is just a projection of the reader… And this projection turns out to be the killer…Which means the killer you were looking for the whole time was inside you all along…How do you feel about novels like that?”  
  
“Wh-what the heck are you talking about…? You’re just jumping from one topic to another…And… I can’t comment on a book that I’ve never read before.”  
  
“...Such a normal answer. I should’ve expected that from a talentless Reserve Course student like you.” _Really, he can’t even pick up simple foreshadowing. I could have worn a t shirt with my hint on it, and Hinata-kun still would not have gotten it._  
  
“Gh…!”  
  
“But… I know that you don’t matter at all so why do I care about you? You admire hope, I love hope. In some ways we’re similar, but maybe the difference is what’s making me so emotional.”  
  
“Enough already! I don’t have time to argue with you! Let’s go! Everyone is waiting!”  
  
“Everyone, huh? So you still believe you’re just like everyone else! Reserve course students are so full of themselves. Eheheehehehahahahaah!” Nagito’s chilling laughter continued as he disappeared into the rock.  
  
“Calm down, I need to calm down.”  
  
The elevator shook violently as it descended at an ever-increasing speed. The elevator continued to shake, and descended deeper and deeper, and suddenly it stopped like it always does, and the door opened. Komaeda observed the shaking, and felt his own heart continue to rock back and forth as he sat on the edge of the shoreline. _I get it. The depth of the elevator, the shaking, it’s a metaphor for plunging down, down deeper into the shadows and deeper into the hidden truths. I wonder if anybody else can appreciate that metaphor… well, it makes sense that they can’t. None of their talents have anything to do with literature… still it’s a lonely thing, being the only one able to appreciate a metaphor like this._

As his thoughts came to an end, the elevator finally hit the bottom and opened.

 

 ♛

 

The new trial arena looked like a twisted funhouse inversion of their last one. Komaeda could only describe it as exactly what he had imagined when his mind fractured a bit, and inverted and extended the image of the funhouse he saw in front of him when it tried to deny the reality of Zenkichi’s death.  
  
As they all stood in a circle, Monokuma was on his throne as always and Ajimu Najimicasually sat beside him. This time when she was wrapped up in chains oddly she seemed to be smiling. They all took their places standing in a circle.  
  
Only eight of them remained, Kumagawa Misogi, Enoshima Junko, Kirigiri Kyoko, Ikusaba Mukuro,  Pekoyama Peko, Hinata Hajime, and Komaeda Nagito. Everybody present seemed to feel Hitoyoshi Zenkichi’s absence.  
  
That is except for the one girl who lived her life, unrelated to everything else. Enoshima Junko Stood with her hands on her hips, “So you’re really doubling down on the whole clown aesthetic this time around, huh? Are you going for some kind of motif or something."  
  
“I understand your desire to applaud this wonderfully vulgar trial ground… but it’s so exhausting to discuss useless things, so let’s just get on with it already!”

Kurokami Medaka spoke in a voice of barely restrained emotion. Her tones sounded almost dull. “I’m here today… because over and over again Zenkichi always risked his life… to protect me...and this is the result of him risking his life over and over again.”  
  
“Yeah, how pointless.” Enoshima Junko interrupted.  
  
“No, it’s not. I’m gonna be the one who avenges him! I’ll definitely find out who the killer is!”  
  
Kirigiri Kyoko realized in that moment, the reason why Kurokami Medaka had not fallen to grief or sadness throughout their entire investigation together. She always burned so much as to burn everything around her, she had a terrifying, imposing presence, but right now the way she burned, subtle and much colder was somehow even more scary. She had finally burned enough to burn cool, like a bright blue flame.

“We should start by going over the incident. Only two of us here were in the funhouse at the same time as Zenkichi, and they’re the least trustworthy among us so I want to get a detailed understanding to cut through their deceptions.”  
  
“Yes, yes, we get it you like swords. Pick a less predictable motif please, I’d prefer the clown vomit that Monokuma-sensei is obviously going for.” Junko interrupted a second time.

『Junko’s surprisingly talkative this time around, maybe this trial she’ll be helpful for the first time.』  
  
“Well it’s like you said, if I let myself fall for this person’s scheme then my fun is going to end early. So, I can keep having fun, even I’ll step on stage and help out. It’s character development.”

『It’s not character development! The only person you ever help is yourself, and you’ve always helped yourself to everybody else’s misery, this is just more of the same.』  
  
“Well you know what they say, god helps those who help themselves.”

『Quit trying to pass off your selfishness as something profound!』  
  
“You two should quit gossiping in the middle of the class trial, try to have some tact and read the room.” Kirigiri said, bringing her gloved hand to just underneath her chin to hide her annoyance.  
  
“We are reading the room, we’re just riffing off of it at the same time.” Enoshima Junko said, one side of her lips quirked up into a half smile revealing all of her perfectly white blocky teeth. “Besides, I never take things too seriously. If I let other people know exactly how smart I was, they’d be terrified.”

『You literally brag about your intelligence and scare people all the time. That line makes no sense coming from you.』  
  
“Who cares, it was an unbelievably cool line! It didn’t need to make sense. Gosh, why do you have to ruin everything, Misogi.”

『It’s the only thing I’m talented at.』  
  
“You two are obviously just trying to distract us with your bickering to stall for time!” Kyoko brushed her hand through her hair, but she had grown so annoyed that her fingers tightened and pulled on the lilac locks of her hair. Her naturally straight her was becoming a bit tangled by her fingers as her attitude twisted.  
  
“Wow, they caught on faster than I thought.”

『That’s why I told you to stop underestimating others so much.』  
  
Kumagawa and Junko who looked like they had been on completely different wavelnegths a moment ago, competing with broken antennas and oscillated volumes suddenly in an instant became synced on the same wavelength. Enoshima Junko learned from the sixteenth podium she occupied, and resting her elbow on Kumagawa’s shoulder in the fifteenth.  
  
“Hitoyoshi was everybody’s hero… but he was taken down by you two, the masterminds of everybody’s misery…” Hinata seethed, until this point he had been silent too taken out of it by the earlier conversation with Komaeda and concern for the boy. But something about the closeness of those two bothered him. Despite being a copletely average person, a normal person who should have had normal friends, Hinata had never been able to bring himself to be that close to somebody. He was completely inexperienced with that kind of closeness it almost seemed foreign to him.  
  
“I discovered a note Zenkichi left behind saying he would go to the fun house to rescue Kumagawa and Enoshima all alone a little before 7: 00 am. Because Komaeda was the only one left on the island who knew Zenkichi as well as I did, I woke him and Hinata up and the three of us went to the funhouse there to stop him. We split up and searched for Zenkichi, it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes before we found him already dead in the grape tower. We found the other two sleeping, they were the only other ones in the building.”  
  
“Another locked door room mystery…” Kirigiri spoke up,  “But, this time the trick is figuring which one of those two did it, considering how prone to lies they are neither one of them will be able to give a believable testimony perhaps that was their aim from the beginning to get so close that it would be impossible for us to distinguish one of them from the other.”

『No, that’s not it neither of us did it.』  
  
“The walls of mind and body are absolute, Miosgi is Misogi and I am me.”

Kirigiri dropped her fingers out of her hair. “You really expect us to believe that? You were the only ones who possibly could have done it, you were the only ones locked in the funhouse with him at the time.”

『I know, it definitely seems like a lie, right! In my experience though, the hardest lies to tell are the ones that resemble the truth.』  
  
“That’s just nonsense from a liar, as a detective and an ally of truth I don’t need to listen to you.”

『As a detective, huh? So you still haven’t dropped that? You’re just as stagnant as Junko.』  
  
“No meta talk either!” Hinata spoke up, interrupting the both of them. “When we discovered the body, the body announcement sounded, which means we three were the first to discover the body.”

“Forget these boring intros, let’s talk about the killer already!” Enoshima Junko suddenly shifted into a much ruder personality as she stuck her tongue out at the others.  
  
“Do you mean we should talk about you?” KIrigiri coldly rebuffed her.  
  
“Let’s just start with something simple, before Statler and Waldorf over there give me a headache. Even if the killer seems obvious there’s still a lot of unanswered questions, so let’s start simple the murder weapon.” Hinata started off.  
  
“Huh…?” Komaeda suddenly spoke up interrupting him.  
  
“I mean the weapon is obvious right…?” Hinata began again.  
  
“...Huh?” Komaeda repeated again, as he raised his finger up and pronounced the noise with a particularly nasty snarl in his mouth.  
  
“Please be nice to me… I’m trying my best here… I thought it was obvious just by looking…” Hinata said, weakly unable to handle Komaeda’s passive aggression. “It’s obvious he was screwed to the wall and that’s what caused his death, the entire scene was littered with screws and a sign of struggle.”

“No, you’re wrong..” Junko said coldly, posing in a perfect impression of Hinata and even throwing her voice slightly to mock him.”Oh, no that’s your line Hinata-senpai. Ewe, it feels all lame and icky saying things a protagonist would say, but it’s not like I can let you boring characters kill off my Misogi so easily. He’s the only interesting one among you.”  
  
“What are you talking about? Don’t screw around with me!”

“I get that your memories are missing, but are you so forgetful that you forgot the results of the last trial? God you’re so dumb that the mastermind probably didn’t even need to erase your memories. No wonder even Komaeda of all people looks disappointed in you.”  
  
“Hey, low blow.”

“The body has no signs of blood, screwing somebody closely to the wall would have been a bloody mess, but if that was done post-humously then the body would not bleed as the heart would not be beating. The body was screwed to the wall after it was already dead to disguise the killing method. It’s all too clean.”  
  
“Then it had to be the pillar. The pillar crushed him, dealing blunt force trauma killing him in a quick and bloodless way. There are other ways to kill without bloodshed when discretion is necessary.” Pekoyama said adjusting her glasses.  
  
“You’re kind of scary when you describe it like that…” Hinata muttered to himself, it was easy to forget how Pekoyama was a cold blooded assassin when he spent so much time around her.  
  
“Huh? Huh? If that’s your theory then you should defend it. Prove to us just how Hitoyoshi Zenkichi’s hope was crushed, describe it in gory detail please, I want to be able to picture it in my mind, to witness it.” Komaeda said, muttering to himself while he chewed on his fingers in anticipation.  
  
“Why am I always surrounding myself by these scary people…” Hinata lamented.  
  
“Fine then, I’ll prove the pillar was used. Worry not, my friend Hajime. There’s no need to lift that pillar. Beating Hitoyoshi Zenkichi-kun was beyond a dream, even I would have a tough time of it. Both Enoshima, and Kumagawa are masters of deception, they likely snuck behind him and split the pillar using some method causing it to tip over and fall on top of him. That’s something a cowardly person like Enoshima would resort to.”

『No, you’re wrong!』Kumagawa Misogi interrupted, tilting his head at an odd angle and smiling as he did so. 『It’s probably wrong of me to say something a main character like Hajime-chan would say, but I can’t let you accuse my Junko of this. She’s a coward of course, but I like that cowardice of hers.』  
  
Hinata deflated. “Why do people keep stealing the no you’re wrong thing, that’s the only thing I get to do?”  
  
“They probably don’t want to be told they’re wrong by a lowly reserve course student.” Komaeda said, once again averting his eyes and making the remark passive agressively.  
  
“Way to kick a guy when he’s down. Anyway, dude, stop gushing about your girlfriend. Some of us aren’t so lucky.”

『I refuse! Anyway there’s no way somebody as wonderfully fussy and meticulous as Junko would ever use the pillar as a murder weapon. If the pillar had fallen on Zenkichi, there would have been fragments on his body, either under or on top of it. However, the fragments are only on the pillar and the rest of his body was completely clean not a speck of them. The pillar fell after Zenkichi died to cover up the real murder weapon.』

“There’s another way to use that pillar to kill. You guys just haven’t noticed it… The fact that Kumagawa-kun of all people noticed it first before you, wow that’s really pathetic this is the first time in my life I’ve felt shame at somebody other than myself.” Komaeda said, sounding truly tired as he batted his eyes and gazed off in the distance.  
  
“Then, kindly explain to us what it is, my classmate Nagito.”  
  
“You guys...are the same as usual… You’re unable to clear a path to the future with your own powers, so you just stand there and falter.” Komaeda said, bringing his fingers to his head to comfort the headache that was quickly growing in his temple. Usually it was the sound of his own voice speaking that aggravated him the most, but this time listening to all the others argue, the voies that had once been so beautiful to him were now just, noisenoisenoisenoisenoise. He hated noisy places the most.  
  
“You know that’s pretty standard for the genre of tragedy, Komaeda-senpai. I thought you’d know that by know, given you know… your entire life.” Junko said.  
  
“And you too… talking like you’re still in control of everything but isn’t that just delusional self importance on your part? You’re trapped in this game and just as confused as the rest of us. Really, what a waste of talent! No wonder you ended up getting foiled by Kumagawa-kun of all people, and you all intend to keep fighting after this? You all make me laugh! You think you lazy so called actors who all sat on their hands and left Zenkichi alone to die are going to be able to fight without him?”

Of all of them, it was only Kumagawa who seemed to react to his sudden ranting. His smile faltered. Komaeda had never seen Kumagawa’s smile freeze in such a way. It almost looked like a look of pain, pretending like he understood his pain… out of all people it was Kumagawa who saw his pain, he hated that he hated him.『Nagito-chan...』

“Regardless…” Komaeda’s voice was always wavering back and forth, but it dipped into freezing temperatures. “It’s not like I want to die with the rest of you, so I guess I should lend a hand.”  
  
“Nagito-chan what happened to you? How come you’re not talking like a lunatic anymore.” Mukuro finally spoke up.  
  
“I’ve learned a valuable lesson, ignorance is by far the greatest shame.”

“Oooh, that sounds like foreshadowing.” Ajimu Najimi spoke from the sidelines.  
  
Medaka slammed her fist hard against her podium. “Enough, act out your dramas, full of betrayal, intrigue, and distrust later, just tell us how you believe that pillar was involved in the murder.”

“Well, I misspoke. The pillar itself would not be enough for a weapon, but when combined with a specific item it would be possible.”  
  
“Of course… The Ultimate Weapon.”  
  
“Hang on, we cleared that room and we couldn’t figure out what the weapon was. There were weapons lying around all over the place.” Hinata spoke up again, distress easing into his voice. It was obvious now, so obvious that not even someone as oblivious as he could miss it but the entire time he had been investigating with Komaeda, Komaeda was keeping secrets from him, what he really thought, what he had really deduced all to himself.

“Don’t worry, I’ll use small words to explain it to you reserve course student.”  
  
“You could explain it to the rest of us too…” Pekoyama spoke up again.  
  
“You still don’t realize it? Jeez, get it together… You’re supposed to be the “Symbols of Hope”, aren’t you? Ah, I forgot… Except for HInata-kun of course. Yet, you’re all getting tricked so easily by those two. At least Enoshima-san would be understandable, but being with Kumagawa-kun should have dumbed it down a little bit.”

“Will you just get on with it already, you accuse Kumagawa-kun of being a deceptive one but you’re really not much better.” Kyoko said, annoyance building in her voice.  
  
“Sorry for expecting someone called the Ultimate Detective to solve a mystery I guess. I thought it would come to this. I knew my turn on stage was coming up. Fine, whatever, I’ll tell you guys a big hint that can help you solve the secret of the Fun House!”

『Psssst, what’s with Nagito-chan?』Kumagawa Misogi whispered to Enoshima Junko.  
  
“Idk? Like I get his whacked brain, I’m too busy with my own whacked but in a slightly different way brain, I guess he got bored of the manic and now he’s bringing on the full on depressive…” Enoshima Junko whispered back.  
  
『Junko, not everybody shifts their mental state because they’re bored like you some people have real problems.』

“Other people besides me having problems that matter? Dunno, sounds kind of fake. Besides, I think Komaeda-senpai’s at least a little bit influenced by his boredom from watching others it’s like.. A foiling thing.”

“Or you could just tell us what the secret is for the greater benefit of the group. It’s illogical to make us play these games.” Kirigiri Kyoko said, she might have been contradicting Komaeda simply out of her rising annoyance for him, though.  
  
“But then it wouldn’t mean anything. It’s no fun if you guys don’t do the class trial properly. I’m sure you would do the same thing in my position, guide others to the answer rather than telling them so don’t get so critical miss Kirigiri just because I’m taking your role this time around. It’s also important for me… because it will help me… determine something..”   _Whose fault is it? Whose side should I take? This time, this time, this time, this time, I can’t stand on the sidelines. This time for sure I have to…_  

『Eh? Determine something... you mean the traitor?』

“I took this picture on the 1st floor of the Strawberry House… from the secret room withint he Final Dead Room. But, don’t you think it’s weird? If the Funhouse’s tructure was two buildings, then there’s lots of things that don’t make sense in this picture, right? THen, let’s begin. Shall I call it… Thinking time? Don’t hurt yourself, Hinata-kun.”

It was a picture of the tower in the wilderness. I won’t dwell on the details for too long, because Junko anounced out loud the tower was an octagon shape several chapters ago. Sadly some of the characters (Hinata) are not as smart and lag behind and need appropriate time to catch up (Hinata, I’m talking about Hinata).  
  
“This photo doesn't look like it was taken from the 1st floor. I remember now, the view was like it was higher up.”  
  
“From this point on, do your own thinking. Now that you’ve finally met the same requirements as me. If you guys are truly “Symbols of Hope” you can solve a simple mystery like this. It might be possible for Hinata-un to solve it too, even though he’s just a normal high school student.”  
  
“Yeah, but I still can’t solve the mystery of what crawled up your ass…” Hinata remarked bitterly as he looked over the picture. He tried to think deeply on the matter, he had been there with Komaeda at the same time as well. He thought, deeper and deeper. “Fuck, I fell off the platform! The jumps are so hard!” However,his mental simulation game was a bit difficult this time around.

FInally he spoke up. “I got it! I know the secret of the Funhouse!”  
  
“Then let me hear it. What kind of answer will you give, I wonder?”  
  
“God, will you two stop flirting. I liked it better when this trial was focusing on me and MIsogi.” Enoshima Junko groaned.  
  
“That’s right when we were looking out the window I couldn’t see the grape house at all. WHere did it go? The Strawberry House and the Grape House are in the same building but on different floors. Since we didn’t live in this tower the killer probably didn’t expect we would notice with the limited time for investigation-”  
  
“Then grape tower and strawberry tower must be the same tower, connected by an elevator yes.” Kirigiri Kyoko interrupted him.  
  
“I was getting to that, just because you’re the Ultimate Detective doesn’t mean you can hog all the detective work…” Hajime pouted.  
  
Kirigiri stared at him flatly. “Isn’t the most important objective that we reach the truth, not who gets credit for leading us there?”  
  
“Uh… yeah, of course. Why would I care about a thing like that? I’m just a normal reserve course student after all.”  
  
“That’s the spirit Hinata-kun! You’re finally learning your place.” Komaeda said, in a mock encouraging voice. “Now, since I enjoy holding your hand so much Hinata-kun I suppose I’ll give you the next hint as well. Oh my though… I can’t believe I have to explain this to the rest of you. The Ultimate Weapon is found at the octagon, as long as you know what an octagon means, you can solve this simple mystery easily.”  
  
Hinata stopped to think for awhile, before straightening up. “If I recall… an octagon is a shape with eight sides, right?”

『No, actually I’m pretty sure it only has six sides.』  
  
“You fucked that.” Monokuma said from the throne, sounding unbelievably disappointed as he looked down at Junko.  
  
Suddenly, Junko looked off to the side crossing her arms. “Oi, Oi, what does that have to do with anything?”  
  
Kurokami Medaka looked earnest for a moment. “Kinkshaming isn’t an acceptable subject matter while we’re in the middle of a trial, and it’s considered rather rude too.”  
  
“I didn’t expect you to know that. For a substitute Reserve Course Student you’re quite knowledgeable.” Komaeda once again, mocked him in a cheerful voice.  
  
“So… the grape house…” Hinata began.  
  
“Has six sides.” Kirigiri cut him off.  
  
“So… the strawberry house…” Hinata began.  
  
“Has four sides. Are you just guessing at this point?” Kirigiri cut him off again.  
  
“Y-you’re right, sorry it was a misunderstanding.” _Everyone’s staring… Looks like I just made a fool of myself in front of everyone. Damnit, shapes._ “The concrete room we went in in the final dead room, it was an octagon that stretched around both houses. If you added the square shape to the hexagon shape that’s eight sides.”  
  
“How are we supposed to find Komaeda-kun as a credible source of testimony though, he’s as much of a liar as Kumagawa-kun.” Kirigiri spoke up again.

“There’s no way I’d lie at such an important moment. I don’t want to die either.”  
  
“What happened to you saying how much you didn’t mind dying?” Hinata asked.  
  
“There was a time when I thought I could become a stepping stone for your hopes, but… I will sincerely retract that remark.”  
  
“That was literally five minutes ago!” Hinata snapped at him.  
  
“Oh no, whatever will I do.” Kirigiri sighed in a mocking way.  
  
However, Komaeda didn’t quite pick up on her sarcasm. “I’m disappointed too, you know. If this was a murder for the sake of hope, I’d happily sacrifice myself…”  
  
“You’re such a liar as usual, Nagito-chan. There’s no such thing as a murder for the sake of hope. Murder is murder. Could it be… that you’re just upset that Hitoyoshi-kun died? It’s not right to take your emotions out on others.” Mukuro spoke up, titling her head to one side as she spoke.  
  
“How would Enoshima Junko’s dog understand how a human feels. But… anybody who killed Hitoyoshi Zenkichi, doesn’t ever deserve to be called hope.”

『Ah...』  
  
“Is the annoyance going to be quiet now? Good riddance.” Kirigiri said as she took control of the trial once more. “Alright then, no need for Hinata-kun to do his ‘no you’re wrong’ thing, the killing method is easy enough to figure out from this point. The killer tied the frayed rope around the pillar, and then attached it to the ceiling and and the pillar like a hangman’s noose. As the elevator would descend, the pillar would pull the rope down tightening it around Hitoyoshi’s neck. The body’s head rolled off remember? There probably would have been bruises on his neck to indicate death by strangulation or a broken neck whichever came first, but the killer crudely used one of the weapons lying around to take his entire head off and cover up the murder method.” Kirigiri as she made her deduction, finished it off with a bit of flare, this time flipping her hair behind her shoulder. “An elaborate trap to set up, but after he was ensared in the trap killing Hitoyoshi-kun would have been easy as a push of a button, either one of them could have done it.”

The killing method discovered, the question immediately returned to whodunnit. Enoshima Junko and Kumagawa Misogi who had een oddly quiet, gazed at each other once more. 『Hmmm, that’s pretty clever but I’m rather dumb you know. How would I have been able to figure out the structure of the buildings? You have no proof I solved the Final Dead Room.』  
  
“No, you’re wrong! Junko’s panties!”

『Umm… Hajime-chan. You might be an even bigger pervert than me.』  
  
“No, that’s not what I’m talking about. We found Junko’s panties in the Final Dead Room, the only reason they would be there is if you two were doing… adult things…it has a Monokuma design on the front nobody else would wear something that stupid.”

Junko smirked. “Well, I always knew I had a killer fashion sense but I didn’t think it would literally kill me one day, that’s a pretty kickass way to die I guess.”

 『Junko, don’t give up so easily. You can’t die in a boring way remember, do you really want to die to somebody as lame as Hajime-chan?』  
  
“Come on guys… I’m right here…”

“I dunno, I’ve been seeing Hinata-senpai in a different light lately. Maybe he had some secret hidden overwhelming foxitude all along."  
  
『Huh?』  
  
“Huh?”

“Fine, fine, I guess I’ll give my testimony already. There’s no way MIsogi or I could have been the killer, we both drank poison and were asleep for several days to avoid the pain of starving to death.” Junko began her explanation.

『Yep, Junko and I poisoned each other. I’m sorry for saying something all lovey dovey.』  
  
“You have such a twisted definition of lovey dovey…” Hinata said, looking away.  
  
“Wait,” Kurokami Medaka spoke up. “If you knew the secret of the Octagon and deduced the murder weapon to begin with then why not speak up? You’re clearly trying to hide it?”  
  
Junko tilted her head to one side. “Trying to hide it? Oh, no, no, no. I just… thought it was obvious? I didn’t understand that you guys would actually need to take time to figure that out, I assumed everybody knew. Especially if Komaeda of all people could figure it out.”

『Junko, that’s not very fair not everybody learns as quickly as you do.』  
  
“It’s not my fault I’m cool and everybody else drools.”

『It’s definitely your fault, I wouldn’t drool if you weren’t so attractive.』  
  
“Upupupupupu, if looks could kill would be a good way to describe me.”

“Can you guys quit getting along so well suddenly? You’re supposed to always be fighting, that’s like your thing.” Hinata said, his face reddening.  
  
『What are you jealous?』  
  
“I’m totally jealous! I’m completely jealous! How the hell have you two progressed so far in your relationship?”

『Communication? A weird and twisted sense of mutual understanding?』  
  
Enoshima Junko shrugged behind him. “Sounds fake but okay.”  
  
“That’s exactly what’s so suspicious. You two have never gotten along this well, your goals have always been the opposite even when you were on the same side in the student council battle.” Kurokami Medaka, “Besides the fact that the both of you are liars, your story is unbelievable. There is no way both of you would drink the poison, the most likely answer is one of you drank the poison and the other pretended to and simply committed the murder while the other was asleep.”

Enoshima Junko smiled at this. “Okay, then Kurokami-san. Do your best.”

“You’re the only one who could have set up the elaborate trap to kill Zenkichi, Enoshima. Kumagawa never plans that far ahead.”

『No, you’re wrong! There’s no way Junko could overpower Zenkichi who was much stronger than her.』  
  
“She’s smart enough to figure out another way. If you used poison to sleep, then she could have knocked out Zenkichi with it too.”

『No, you’re wrong!』  
“No, you’re wrong!”  
  
Enoshima Junko and Kumagawa Misogi attempted the double rebuttal combination. Their arms crossed each other as they both struck a pose at the same time, they may or may not have been rehearsing this.   
  
“There’s no way we could have used poison on Zenkichi because there was only one bottle left.”

『We smashed the rest of them.』

Kirigiri Kyoko blinked for a moment. “Why… why would you do that?”  
  
“Dunno, smashing stuff is fun.”

『It’s easier to break down than it is to build up you know. Besides you should see the evidence-』  
  
“-In the broken glass bottles that were all over the hallways. There’s no way you wouldn’t pick them up detective.” Enoshima Junko finished his sentence for him.  
  
To which Hinata Hajime stuck his tongue out in disgust. “Ewe, they’re finishing each other’s sentences now.”

『Jealous?』  
  
“You know I am!” Hinata fumed a second time.

“Well, it doesn’t matter if we can’t come up with a specific method for how you knocked him out. You were the only one in the funhouse at the time, you were the only one it could have been…” Kurokami Medaka continued, her determination unwavering.  
  
They should have learned from Zenkichi’s death however, that in a tragedy, determination only became stubbornness.  
  
“You’ve got that wrong!”  
『You’ve got that wrong!』  
  
Once again, the two of them combined for a joint refutation.  
  
“You all overlooked a suspicious detail of the case. We can use it to prove another party was involved. You said Hitoyoshi Zenkichi disappeared when you fell asleep, and then when you awoke the next morning he was already dead, correct?”  
  
“Yes…”  
  
“That can’t be right, because he crossed over into the funhouse and spent an entire day with us, morning and night. Not only that but the next orning when we last checked he was still alive, and we fell asleep for several days afterwards. Yet you say, Hitoyoshi-kun only disappeared yesterday.”  
  
“He… he did, we all saw him around the island…” Kurokami Medaka’s unshakeable confidence appeared to be slipping.

『You can never know a person 100% right? That’s the theme or whatever. How do you know that wasn’t the real Hitoyoshi-kun..』  
  
At that moment, Ikusaba Mukuro remebered a critical detail. Something that Hitoyoshi Zenkichi had been with her to witness. “...Ajimu-san… when Hitoyoshi-kun ran away to the funhouse, did you take his form to cover up for the fact that he had run away? The same way that you changed yourself to look like Junko to mess with me.”  
  
At this, Aimu Najimi smiled. “Good.”

Kurokami Medaka was the first to react. “No wait… that was…”

“Hitoyoshi-kun and I decided to form the killing game busters! Wait, that was a bit too early to make that reference, well you guys will get the reference at some point in the future. Anyway, we teamed up to play a little trick on all of you. I would impersonate him on the island, while he went to the funhouse.”  
  
“What could be the point of that…? You can’t even participate in the killing game, Anshin’in-san.”

『Think about it, Hajime-chan. Even if you can’t figure out situations that well, even if you’re stupid like me, you should at least be able to think about Nagito-chan, because you’re always thinking about him aren’t you...』

Hinata Hajime looked at Komaeda who was still sulking. Ever since discovering the body he had been lashing out at others, but his behavior only worsened as they continued their investigation. What had Komaeda figured out, what had pushed him to this point? It was like he was straining himself to tell him something earlier. Then, suddenly the cobwebbed up gears in Hinata’s head finally began to turn. He did not want to realize it, but he did. “The elevator button, it was covered in chocolate. Gundham’s  hamsters went missing several days ago… then it must be. Hitiyoshi spread chocolate over the button so the hamsters would hit the button automatically after he released them upon setting the trap. It was an automatic mechanism, because… it was a suicide wasn’t it?”

At that moment, both Kurokami and Komaeda looked away. Hinata became wracked with pain, leaning over the podium. He wondered how much Komaeda had realized on his own, and why he had not bothered to share any of it with him. He was still so distant, so unreachable, in a far away place.  
  
“Well, that’s why the clock was smashed anyway. They wanted to hide the time difference in this case, because it’s the key to the locked door mystery. Is this the point where I mic drop?”

『Wait, Junko, there’s still one unsolved mystery. Even if Zenkichi-chan killed himself that doesn’t explan how his body was screwed to the wall, he couldn’t have done that himself if his neck snapped in an instant. There’s the fact that the pillar was broken as well, a rope wouldn’t be able to tear through a pillar and neither could Zenkichi-chan’s body.』  
  
“See… that’s my stopping point. No matter how many times I turn it in my head, I can’t make sense of it. I figured everything else out up until that point… but the rest makes no logical sense, so. Somebody must be cheating.”

『If you call cheating every time somebody outwits you, you’ll just sound like a sore loser.』  
  
“What’s the point in being a good loser, though?”

『Ah, you’re right it’s pointless, pointless, pointless.』

“Yeah… following this line of logic any farther is pointess… there’s no way Zenkichi would ever kill himself.” Kurokami Medaka still had not raised her eyes. “He would never… never…it’s impossible.”

It was at that moment, Hinata finally realized what was off.  
  
At the same time, Kumagawa did as well. However, he took the initiative and spoke first. 『That’s right… Junko’s brain is entirely logical, so she doesn’t consider supernatural actors like you or I Medaka-chan. Were you, trying to frame Junko-chan?』  
  
“Huh… Kumagawa?”

『You said i didn’t you. That the three of you split up for a few minutes. The only person who would have ever been able to construct a scene in that short of time, would be the one of us with super speed, and super fast thinking. Junko-chan finds you boring… and she underestimates you so… you’re the last person she’d suspect. You took advantage of her blindspot.』  
  
“There’s no way… There’s no way…”

『Medaka-chan why? If you knew it was a suicide, then why would you frame Junko-chan and I… you’re… you’re supposed to be the good guy.』  
  
“There’s no way that Zenkichi would ever kill himself. I… I... “ Kurokai Medaka finally raised her eyes, her glare looked fierce enough to kill. Kumagawa felt his entire being shattered by that look alone. He remembered there was a time that he would have done anything to get Kurokami to just acknowledge him, and yet so much had changed since them. He had left the behind, hand’t he. “I’m not a saint, I’m a lonely girl, you know.” Looking extremely stiff, trying to live by opying what other people do, liking people, deciding to like all people, always with a little voice saying please don’t alienate me. Please don’t leave me alone. She was terrified of that, that was why she had decided wholeheartedly to accept everybody without confrontation and without condition.  
  
Yet, to this girl scared of being alone, scared there was no one in this world who could stand to be around he and that they would all eventually leave her behind, there was one boy who had always promised to catch up with her, who had always promised he would never leave her side.  
  
He had gone somewhere it was impossible for her to follow. All on his own, he had decided that. Because Hitoyoshi Zenkichi always tried too hard, because he never ran away, it was the reason that they had become so close, but he always hurt himself for her sake it was the reason he always made her cry.  
  
“Upupupupu, and to think I thought you were boring. It turns out if you take away all your little distractions, you’ll do something just like me, even mutilate the body of your precious loved one. I was planning to do that to Mukuro one day you know…that’d be a cool fifth round twist”  
  
“Wait, what?” Mukuro flatly asked even though she was not a part of this moment.  
  
“We’re nothing alike. Was there a better way? Did I really do anything to help them? Did I really think of every possibility? Did I belittle someone’s suffering? DId I simply step over something I didn’t notice? Has helping people become a simple routine? I was always questioning myself, I was always scared of myself… but… I was always trying. You didn’t try at all, you never once even tried. Because I knew.. Surely if I ever stopped trying, if I gave up, I’d become someone like you. I’m terrified of being like you, or sinking down to your depths, that’s why I’ll never acknowledge you.”    
  
“It’s because you tried that you were pushed to this point, wasn’t it?”  
  
“Yeah, you’re right. It’s my fault, for trying too hard. Trying too hard in a tragedy just brings about the result of tragically wasted effort, I can be genre aware too when I want to be.” Kurokami Medaka grit her teeth, her eyes still glaring straight at Junko. “However. Even if that’s the case. Even if it was my fault, you are going to pay for this.”  
  
“Huh? So revenge? That’s what the sitch is?”  
  
“You can’t prove it was me that rearranged the crime scene. All you have is circumstantial evidence. It’s a perfect crime by a perfect girl. There’s nothing proving that he wasn’t screwed to the wall before I showed up.”  
  
“I…” Enoshima Junko hesitated. She should be feeling excitement at dragging Kurokami so low, into such cold anger, but this feeling was… surprisingly disappointing. She expected more of Kurokami. Disappointment was not despair. She did no really want to be executed along with everyone else in a petty attempt at revenge because they could not find the killer.  
  
Or perhaps…  
She didn’t want to die.  
  
“Zenkichi would never kill himself.”

『...』  
  
“Enoshima Junko is the only one that could have killed him.”

『...』

“She killed him as the mastermind, to destroy our greatest hope. Our hero.”

『I’m surprised you didn’t get this, because you’re always making Eva references, Junko. I suppose it’s such a petty and small trick you wouldn’t notice it, as you’re always looking down on others.』Kumagawa opened his hands and displayed his open palms. 『I don’t mean to bring some pretentious symbolism into this story so late, this isn’t Eva or anything but do you know most depictions of the crucifixion are wrong? If you were to draw a nail through the center of the palm, it would tear through the hand really quickly because the center of the palm is weak. Tha’s why people were crucified by driving a nail right through the wrist instead. It had to be that Zenkichi was screwed to the  wall for only a few minutes, otherwise gravity would have torn his hands right out of the screws because he was screwed through the palms and not the wrist like one would screw for a body meant to hang for several hours. 』  
  
On that morbid note, the final nail was driven in to the coffin, or perhaps this time it was a screw to be more thematic with Kumagawa’s twisted screw motif.  
  
Kurokami Medaka hung her head, unable to say anything. Now that the rage had passed, there was nothing left within her. Hitoyoshi Zenkichi had been her everything after all. Kirigiri who always repressed her emotions witnessed that moment with fear… perhaps, always staying aloof from your emotions was a bad thing. Kurokami Medaka had forced herself to feel anger for the sake of her friends, and when that slipped out of her fingers, she had nothing, nothing left at all.  
  
“I finally understand how you feel, Kumagawa. Now we’ve finally switched places. You still have your everything, and I have nothing. The strongest are those who have nothing, right? I felt like after losing everything I could even take on Enoshima Junko in that moment.”

『...』  
  
“So, why did you go so far as to foil me? I thought you wanted to defeat Junko too?”

『Medaka-chan. Do you think Zenkichi-chan would forgive you, if you threw your life away trying to take Junko down with you?』  
  
Kurokami thought about it. Then suddenly, she punched herself hard in the face. “If Zenkichi could see me right now, he’d sock me one. No, if he could see me, I’d barely escape with my life from how hard he’d beat sense into me.”  
  
Komaeda finally looked up from where he had been staring off. “That’s why I said… you all killed him, you all killed Hitoyoshi-kun. Because nobody would do anything, he acted on his own to save them.”

Monokuma suddenly spoke up again from his throne. “Are we done with the wrap up? Come on, somebody yell cut already! We all know who the real person pulling the strings here was anyway! Somebody who’s not supposed to be participating in this killing game!”  
  
At this, Ajimu Najimi smiled.

“Hitoyoshi-kun told me that after he committed suicide to tell everybody at the trial what happened so there would be no needless confusion, but I decided to troll everybody a little bit.” She easily broke out of the chains Monokuma bound her with and reached into the neck of her school uniform. “I even concealed the real suicide note tha Zenkichi left for Medaka, so she would be incensed enough to go after my dear, Junko-chan.”  
  
“Wait, you messed with things? Why?” Junko called out to her. “I thought your whole deal was neutrality! Why can’t anybody stay in character it’s not that hard, at least I know I’m supposed to stay the villain!”  
  
“The same reason you did, my dear girl. To make things more interesting. I think I’ve found it finally, my one impossibility, you really are the most impossible girl to deal with Enoshima Junko-chan.”  
  
“You’re acting strange, you’ve been acting strange this whole time! It doesn’t make any sense! Why would you act so recklessly with Hitoyoshi-kun and Kurokami-san when you’re always warning me to be careful with my toys.”

“I told you, the same reason you would. Anyone would get bored, watching the same story over and over again.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“I’d explain in more detail, but it looks like I’m about to be punished. Isn’t that right, Monokuma?”  
  
“I did say that if somebody committed suicide, you would be punished in their place.” Monokuma said, before giggling with laughter on his throne.  
  
“Bye bye, Junko-chan!  Bye, bye Kumagawa-kun! Well, I’m immortal so it’s not really that big of a deal. I’ll see you again the next time the lantern pointlessly turns around. I hope you guys have lots of fun, I hope this time, this time, this time around, you’re finally able to find a future you can’t predict.” Waving, as if she was just a friendly classmate offering a goodbye, Ajimu Najimi was suddenly grabbed by the neck and dragged off to her own death.

 **Hitoyoshi Zenkichi has been found Guilty!** **  
** **Ajimu Najimi will be punished.** **  
** **Real Fiction**

Ajimu Najimi was sitting on a desk, in a familiar old classroom. A recreation of the same classroom where Kumagawa and Ajimu had spent many of their classroom days.  Only to suddenly have that classroom’s ceiling be destroyed and then the floor begin to move in a conveyor belt. Planks flew in every direction and one splintering piece of wood dragged across her face like shrapnel tearing the flesh of her face slightly.  
  
Her smile remained unfazed though as she looked at where the conveyor belt led. At the end of it, there was a large machine stamping the conveyor belt over and over again. It looked oddly similar to a printing press.  
  
Ajimu Najimi made no attempt to move as she was slowly ushered towards her fate. The classroom that was so precious to her, was destroyed by the shakings of all of the machines around her. This one tiny room was her entire world, the only memory she had of any kind of bias.  
  
She could no return to that classroom though, she had realized this a long time ago. Because of her own actions, she could never truly return to that place, the only place that even a non-human like her was able to feel happiness. She was the one who had destroyed it in the first place. That day when she tried to hang from the ceiling without her feet touching the floor, and Kumagawa had walked in on her. No, she had intended for him to walk in on her to break his heart.  
  
Break his heart to save him. What a lame tactic. Since when had she become a girl in the middle of one of those overly dramatic and romanticized dramas. She should have realized a long time ago, how foolish she had been. This place she did not desire to leave, she was afraid of that desire, afraid of wanting to stay in one place. She had been afraid to be human, around that boy who made her feel human.  
  
So this was the natural consequence of all of that. Well, it was no big deal. It was not like she would die anyway, she would just be sent back to that room for a little while. It was not like pain affected a person like her either.  
  
As she opened her eyes again she caught a glimpse of Kumagawa Misogi’s face. This entire time he had been pretending to be aloof, to laugh all of this off, but she was the one who saw through his fake smile. She was the one who knew him the best, or at least that was how it used to be. As she caught a glimpse of his face, she could see a look of pure pain. She was going to hurt him again.  
  
Ajimu Najimi looked ahead too and saw what was awaiting her. In her eyes, she saw the silhouettes of a boy and a girl walking home from school, a completely boring and average day with no excitement at all. She wondered why such an image reflected in her eyes at this time, she had no attachment for such boring things... The smile faded off her face, just before…  
  
CRASH!  
TRAGEDY, FELL ON TOP OF HER. 

She was crushed underneath the printing press, the entire machine whirred and then a moment later Ajimu Najimi’s image was printed on a manga magazine named “Weekly Monokuma Jump.” Monokuma picked up the magazine and read it, only to shrug and throw it in the garbage can.  
  
After the execution, nobody could say a word. Perhaps because they all agreed with Komaeda for once. Hitoyoshi Zenkichi killed himself because they had been unwilling to do anything to free Kumagawa Misogi and Enoshima Junko. Zenkichi’s kindness was so great that he had sacrificed himself to save the worst of them, a hero who saved two villains.  
  
Yet at the same time despite taking such a heroic action, it felt like nothing had been gained from his death. There was no hope in death, Komaeda was the only one delusional enough to believe that, but usually in manga heroic sacrifices were emotional moments in which all the characters came together and experienced great catharsis. Everyone heroically carried on in the memory of their departed friend.  
  
Yet at the moment, nobody there could bring themselves to feel that way. They all felt empty, the world without Zenkichi in it, felt particularly empty. It was like a chunk of their world had gone missing.

Nobody felt that more than Kurokami Medaka. Consumed by her own emptiness, she forgot about her composure and appearance entirely, and collapsed to her knees, crying like a little girl.  
  
Kumagawa walked over to where Ajimu Najimi had been standing a moment ago and picked up the suicide note, handing it off to her. 『Zenkichi-chan would probably… want you to...it’s my fault so...』  
  
Kurokami Medaka slapped his hand away from her. The letter fell away from the both of them. “Don’t you dare try to make this better, no matter what you say Zenkcihi will still be gone. By saying i was your fault, by blaming yourself. That’s just your own arrogance, you don’t actually want to take responsibility you just want to feel absolved so you can go back to making the same mistakes. But you’re right… it’s your fault, because of you Zenkichi… You! I wish you died instead! Everybody would be happier if you died! Hanten, Shiranui, Kuji-nee, Ajimu, Zenkcihi, why are you the only one left? Why is it you?”

『I don’t know. I don’t know why I keep living I just...』  
  
Komeda was the one who spoke up, next. The two of them who felt the loss of Zenkcihi the most, Kumagawa was attempting to bear both of their pain. “Haven’t you thought about it at all? It’s because you insist on letting Enoshima Junko live that we’ve all been dragged into tragedy! Haven’t you thought about how you’re sacrificing us all for your own personal happiness? It’s because you continue to live that everybody around you is pulled into misfortune, if only you had died... “

Komaeda looked him straight in the eye, but he was not crying. He wanted to cry, yes, he was sure he wanted to cry for Zenkichi's sake but he could not. When he had realized in the Final Dead Room that Zenkichi had committed suicide, he had wanted to cry too but, instead he had burst out laughing. He did not particularly know why, perhaps because even if he had cried, nobody would have believed his mourning was real.  Not that he blamed them, he knew that trash like him did not deserve to mourn Zenkichi.

『Of course I’ve thought about it.』Kumagawa said, as he turned away looking back over his shoulder as Enoshima Junko leaned on the often one just as he started to walk away. 『Again, again, again, again, I’ve thought about it so many times, enough times to drive me completely mad.』

They all knew.  
  
They knew Kumagawa was not at fault, nor was Junko, but nobody spoke up, because they all felt that empty feeling.  
  
Hitoyoshi Zenkichi sacrificed himself for their sakes? They could not feel something so noble, so heroic. No, to them it felt like they had all murdered Hitoyoshi Zenkichi. It was everyone’s fault.

 


	41. Survival Strategy (1 Eros x Thanatos)

Pain, and then pleasure.  
Life was just a cycle between two extremes.  
Being happy now, only means you’ll be sad later.

You endured it for as long as you could, then suddenly you couldn’t, you collapse where you stand. It’s not like there’s some reward waiting at the end of life. It’s not like a well constructed story where a character is punished if they are flawed, and then rewarded when they improve upon those flaws. There’s no neat and tidy endings to life, Only swaying back and forth meaninglessly, like a pair of feet not touching the floor because the person they belonged to was hanging from the ceiling.  
  
Kumagawa was an exception from this cycle, he had only felt pain until he had become completely numb with it. That was why he had learned to find pleasure even in pain. Excoriation disorder, an illness related to obsessive compulsion, characterized by repeated picking at one’s own skin. With each step he took, he heard a scratching noise. He wondered where it was coming from, it sounded so distant. Until, he moved his hand to wipe his nose and say blood underneath his nails. There was something wet on his neck. Ah, he had been picking at the scars on his own neck again. He thought about what to do about it for a moment absentmindedly, before he dipped a finger in his mouth and tasted the slight metallic taste of blood. It was a taste he was far too familiar with, probably moreso than anybody his own age.  
  
While he might pretend to be a blood thirsty monster, the truth was he was far more used to tasting his own blood than anybody elses. When he got into nonstop fights in his younger years, he was not used to winning those fights, so much as always surviving, and always standing up no matter how many other ne’er do wells ganged up on him. Eventually they got tired, or scared, he was screamed at and called a zombie or freak and they ran away. Sometimes they didn’t run away and he simply lie there taking it, smiling, until they gave p and he would lie there looking at the sky until he realized they were gone and he stood up again.  
  
He was used to the sensation of pain, in fact he was so numb to everything else it might have been the only thing he felt. He took hits on purpose, sharpened his senses, he liked to stack odds impossibly against himself even when i was unnecessary because that kind of mounting pressure made him feel alive. As he started to think of that, his fingers traveled to the back of his neck again, scritch, scratch, he raked his nails against his flesh absent mindedly. The scars on his body were inflicted by other people, but they might have faded if Kumagawa was not so reckless, if he did not reopen them again and again, always picking at them, never letting them settle.  
  
As he understood pain quite well, but he did not understand healing. He understood scars, but could not imagine what it would be like for those scars to fade. No matter how many years past, no matter how used to pain he grew, he could not forget it, because it was all he knew. He wondered at what point did that change, when did he stop being hurt by others and when did he start throwing himself into pain on purpose. When did he stop being a victim? He wondered, and wondered until his brain twisted up even more with those spiraling thoughts, but he found no answer. He was an idiot after all, it was cruel to expect otherwise from him.

Kumagawa Misogi saw another set of footprints out on the beach. After the execution they had all returned to their cabins, it seemed like another streak of his bad luck that he ran across the person who least wanted to see him right now, but Kumagawa had been anticipating such bad luck. He always anticipated the worst with a devil may care attitude, that was what made him different from his dear Nagito-chan who always rode the wheel of fortune so carefully.

Hinata Hajime had been pacing back and forth on the beach. Normally in video games, characters were supposed to level up and gain greater forms and more power over time. However, in this killing game as each successive trial went by he felt less and less confidence in himself, and less and less use to the group as a whole. At the start he thought he might have some hidden power within him that could activate at least second and save everyone. That kind of climactic end to his arc, however there was no climax only an anticlimax, a feeling of disappointment, a subversion. He was sure the readers found it clever, but Hinata himself could not appreciate that sort of thing.

The twist was that he was just normal. **What a boring twist.** Yet, even being normal was not the curse he thought it was, because there was someone who had been normal just like him on this island who tried their best for everyone anyway. Where, in response to his own inadequacy all he had done this round was sulk. Because Zenkichi was such a selfless person, he had died to save two people who Hinata thought quite pettily did no deserve saving. But was he any better he wondered? After all, he was only alive due to his own selfishness.

In the middle of all of those thoughts that left Hinata feeling as fragile as glass, suddenly a rock was thrown through his mindset as Kumagawa Misogi appeared in his view as he lifted his head from his own hands.A  flea in human skin, the incarnation of everyone’s flaws and curses, someone who seemed to soak in negativity with each breath. Almost every time trouble started on this island, Kumagawa was at the center of it. He knew now if he acknowledged the other too much, he would probably get dragged into trouble too. “Hmmmph…” Hinata said as he turned his head and looked away sneering. “How can you always walk around like that with a smile on your face when everybody else is mourning Zenkichi. You silll can’t read the room, can you?”

『Hmmm...』Kumagawa pressed a finger to his cheek, tilting his head at an odd angle. 『You have to know the reason, Hajime-cha… or maybe you don’t because you’re always frowning. I do it so I don’t go insane.』  
  
“Well you’re already crazy so it’s not working.”

『That’s kind of rude, you shouldn’t insult mentally ill people by comparing them to trash like me, Hajime-chan.』  
  
“You’re the rude one! Who gave you permission to call me -chan, anyway! That speaking habit of yours is annoying, don’t just walk up to others and start acting like you’re important.”

『Why, because that’s your job?』

“At least I was trying to help people. All you do is get in the way. You should have been the one executed instead of Ajimu-san.”

『You want me to die? Then kill me yourself pussy, or shut up.』Kumagawa said, turning nasty for a moment as his eyes sharpened, only for his eyes to widen again and for him to give a friendly smile, it was like flipping a switch turning his emotions on and off. He had witnessed the same change in Komaeda several times but with Kumagawa it seemed a lot more intentional.

『Why do you think I’m the one who should have died, I’m curious. Only the prince of fools like me can value another fool’s thoughts.』  
  
“Being looked down on by somebody like you makes me feel like the lowest of the low.”

『Well that’s how human nature is, everybody just wants an excuse to look down on somebody else to comfort themselves. It’s like y’know, when a kid whose been bullied all their lives sees somebody else being picked on, do they defend them out of a sense of shared victimhood and empathy? No way, they’re way more likely to join in on the bully’s side just so for once they’re not the ones being picked on.』

“You always say such weird stuff.”

『You forgot to answer my question, Hajime-chan.』

“It’s because you wanted him to die, so you as good as killed him yourself.” Hinata balled his hands into fists, hard enough that he could feel his fingers digging into the fleshy bits of his palm, he felt prickles of pain and wetness on his palms and realized he was making himself bleed holding himself back. But Kumagawa Misogi was an utterly low existence to him, a tick, a pebble on the side of the road, Hinata did not even wish him to die because somebody killing him would mean one more of his friends disappearing from this island and therefore Kumagawa was not even worth the effort of killing. He loosened his fists and dug his hands into his pockets turning around. “Whatever, trying to explain myself is wasted on a person with no empathy like you. Goodnight.”

『Hmmm, empathy that is… being able to imagine how other people feel? I think I’m pretty good at that, you’re the one always misunderstanding others Hajime-chan, but I can understand you just fine. For instance, I know… you were really happy that Zenkichi-chan died weren’t you?』

Suddenly Hinata Hajime turned around and drew his hand out of his pocket throwing a sloppy and unprofessional punch at Kumagawa’s face. Just like the time he had punched Sakukura, he only punched with raw emotion, he had no experience in fighting it was the punch of a talentless hack who thought he could actually stand a chance in a fight yet this time his fist hid the side of Kumagawa’s face and twisted into his cheek in a cross bow that looked like it really hurt. However, despite punching with all the raw emotion in his heart and catching the other completely by surprise, Kumagawa did not even move, the only sign that he had been punched was his heels digging slightly into the sand.

『That’s no good Hajime-chan. You know, such sudden violent denial only confirms what I’m saying right? It’s like in a romantic comedy when the heroine goes ‘He’s not my boyfriend’, ten times out of ten she actually has romantic feelings for him.』  
  
Hinata did not even listen to what he was saying. All he could focus on was the grin on Kumagawa’s face, and how much he wanted to erase it, he wanted to see if Kumagawa could continue to smile even with his teeth smashed in.He threw another ameteurish punch, and another, trying to make up for the difference by channeling his emotions into his blows. If Kumagawa wanted to be on the receiving end of other’s negativity, if he wanted to soak up his emotions, if he wanted to be hated so much he could have it. Just like the time with Sakakura, he put all of his hatred into those blows, assuming that just like in a shonen manga if he was somehow passionate enough, if he somehow felt enough in this one moment that could surpass years of experience with fighting.

Kumagawa received each successive blow, his face quickly turning a shade of red. However, other than a slight digging in of his heels he barely moved from his spot. He looked confused, like a puppy that did not understand why it was being kicked, but Hajime could not let himself stop. “Shut up! Stop smiling! Stop laughing at Zenkichi’s death, we’re all grieving and you’re ust disrespecting his memory.”

『I don’t get it. Is it bad to laugh? I’m grieving too. Is my grief lesser, because I laugh to grieve, while you cry to grieve?』  
  
“Yeah, it is. It’s insensitive. You don’t care about the feelings of others, you’re laughing in their faces to comfort yourself.”

『Hmmm, but don’t you think it’s more insensitive to feel nothing?』Hinata threw another punch but this time, Kumagawa easily caught it in his palm, like he was an old master from one of those kung fu movies. His grip suddenly felt hard on Hajime’s fist. 『Between laughing when you’re feeling bad, to just shutting out all emotion and feeling nothing at all, what do you think is worse?』  
  
“I didn’t…” Hinata gripped at his chest with his free hand, as suddenly he could feel his heart beating. It felt louder for some reason… no he knew why, because his heart was beating in an empty chest, where all the other essential organs should have been they had been carved out and hollowed, and now his heart echoed, the echoes shaking his whole body. Despite being lacking in several fundamental things, for some reason he was still alive, he had no idea why he persisted like that. That was why his blows could not faze Kumagawa, why they had not connected with Sakakura, even if he punched with all of his passion if there was no passion in the first place, then he was punching with nothing at all. “I didn’t feel nothing at Zenkichi’s death.”

『That time you didn’t feel nothing, because you were happy he died. He was in your way, right? Just like me. Your biggest rival for becoming the main character was out of the way.』

“Sorry, I don’t think in terms of fiction like you.”

『You don’t? You’ve never found yourself thinking you wanted to be the main character of your own life?』  
  
“...”

『Well then, let me put it this way. Now that Zenkichi-chan is gone, Nagito-chan will have no choice but to depend on you.』  
  
“Shut up!” Hinata twisted his whole body around and raised his leg just like Zenkichi did when he threw a kick, to roundhouse kick right in Kumagawa’s face, kicking him away and sending him flying back into the sand. Hinata was stunned for a moment, he did not even know he could throw a kick like that, or that his body could move that way.  
  
Kumagawa pushed his hands into the sand, stood up gripping his shoulder. 『Ow. It hurts, Hajime-chan.』  
  
“Shut up, I’m not going to pity you. You’re just a murderer.”

『I haven’t killed anybody though, in fact I’ve gotten stabbed, infected with a disease, starved, and I wrecked my hand but I never once seriously tried to kill anybody.』  
  
“How are you even still able to stand, you make no sense at all!”

『It hurts, it hurts, no… it doesn’t hurt at all, because I’m used to it.』He looked like a corpse rising from a grave. Hinata had always associated Komaeda with death, like a walking shinigami at one saw in the corner of their eyes to herald their death but the kind of death Kumagawa Misogi represented was far different. The kind of walking near death, that makes on truly feel alive. 『I just want to talk you know… I want to give advice. I guess I have to weaken you first.』  
  
Hajime rushed at him aiming another kick, but Kumagawa easily stepped out of the way. He could have dodged his attacks all along, he had just been choosing to take them. Hinata wondered if he was looking down on him, impulsively throwing punches and feeling like a hot shot when he had no combat experience at all. Kumagawa moved forward and grabbed Hinata by the throat, wrapping his fingers around and dead lifting him up into the air. _What...is with this guy he’s supposed to be weak?_ _  
_ _  
_ Hinata thought as he felt his consciousness slipping from him. Suddenly, his body moved on his won without his permission. He could see several martial arts techniques flashing through his mind, like some kind of secret instinct he could unlock when he was only unconscious and about to lose a fight against a major enemy. He thought… he thought he did not have that kind of hidden power inside of him. Suddenly he knew a way to dislocate Kumagawa’s shoulder even while being held like this, he brought up his legs and crossed them over his arm, and then hooked his leg around the boy’s neck. As he squeezed tight, he heard a shoulder disloacting. It would be too painful for him to move now, at least that was what Hajime thought. Yet, he heard an eerie noise of bones brinding and popping, as suddenly Kumagawa threw him forward hard. He hit the back of a tree, and his entire body felt the whiplash of coming to a sudden stop.

『Sorry, I don’t like men’s balls.』

Kumagawa walked over to him slowly, the impact of his landing had kicked sand into the air, and he could hear the sound of Kumagawa’s footsteps, sinking and lifting from the sand one by one. Reality seemed to be moving slower than before.

『It’s relationship advice, you said you were jealous right so let me help you out. Now that Zenkichi-chan is dead, Nagito-chan will have no choice to rely on you. You can go back to the way things were before, where he would do anything to keep you around because you were all he had.』  
  
“That’s not what I want…”

『Isn’t that the reason you fell for him? With anybody else, no matter how good you were you’d never feel like you were good enough for them, but Nagito-chan… he has such a low standards. He makes you feel like an amazing person just for showing him the bare minimum affection.』

“No, that’s not what…”

『It’s true he has an annoying personality but… when he pisses you of you can just say whatever you want, and kick him around for stress relief, then the next time you talk he’ll have already forgiven you, he’s like a dumb little puppy that keeps coming back to its master no mater how many times he’s kicked.』  
  
“I wasn’t doing that. I really like Nagito.”

『Hmmm, then what do you like about him?』  
  
“Umm… I… I dunno…his hair’s fluffy”

『What do you dislike about him?』  
  
“He’s ummm… he’s crazy and uh…”

『Because he sees you as special, because he’d do anything to please you, and when he found out you were a reserve course student you weren’t worried you hated him, you were just worried he’d stop treating you like he’s special.』  
  
“What about you, huh? Why do you like Enoshima-san so much, you practically worship her! You’re no better than me.”

『She’s fun to talk to, she’s fun to compete against, I like her smile, she’s mean but not all the time, her brain is so ridiculously over complicated but it’s interesting talking to her and seeing her thoughts on things, she’s always laughing, even in the worst of despair.』

  
“Then...wha...what do you dislike about her?”

『The way she treats Mukuro-chan, that she killed Yasuke-chan who I wanted to be friends with, I wish she had never met MIkan-chan, and her eyes that look at me and everything else with disinterest.』

“So...so you are better than me.”

『You should  be nicer to your boyfriend.』  
  
“He’s not my boyfriend…”

『Don’t take it too personally. Nagito-chan is much smarter than me, and Hajime-chan you’re much more of a main character somebody that everyone can like but I think if I have you two beat in one aspect it’s this, I’ve always been good at putting my emotions into words. Self aware-ness is my only saving grace, I guess? Well anyway, I don’t mind too much when you two try to insult me, it’s cute, like when a little kid makes fun of you and calls you a stupid face.』  
  
“You know Nagito hates you right? Quit trying to blame me and make it seem like it’s my fault that he’s acting like this now, you’re the one who pushed him to the edge.”

『No, he doesn’t, and it wasn’t my fault! All I did was make him realize his feelings for you, but Nagito-chan’s so scared of other people he’s driving himself crazy out of fear. And he hates me… I don’t think so I think it’s more like he’s jealous. Because I’m here he can’t play the role he wants, he can’t be the villain that everybody hates because I’m so much better at being hated than him...』  
  
“What… who would want to be hated that makes no sense.”

『People in general don’t really make sense. Nagito-chan doesn’t think he’ll ever be loved, so it’s better to be hated right? At least that way he’s still in the center of everybody’s mind. But… that’s no good now because he can’t even be the most hated, he’s the second most hated. So it’s like he’s less important or something.』

“....” Hinata grit his teeth because he knew the other was right, no matter what he said Kumagawa just accepted it, but when Kumagawa bit back he sunk his teeth hard into his own skin. He was the one who had started the fight and he could not even take what he dished out. “I’m not that shallow…I don’t worry about being important or something…”

『Yeah, you’re not shallow, but you are empty. No matter how much you fill up an empty thing, i still remains empty...』Kumagawa reached forward and grabbed Hajime by the collar of his uniform and pulling him up once more only to throw him again.

 _What did I get into, I might seriously die..._ Hinata thought as he was flung and landed this time face first in the sand. He felt something sticky and went pooling from his forehead, and could taste something like sweet honey. He wanted to lick it all up before that silly bear Monokuma did, he might in fact be delirious. _I’ll die, or I’ll disappear._

『Isn’t that right, Kamukura Izuru-chan?』The moment he heard that name his heart pounded. Why? It was just the name of that old man whose portrait he saw in the funhouse. _I am Hinata Hajime a reserve course student. Today, I am Hinata Hajime_ **_. No._ ** _I am a second year reserve course student._ **_No...No..._ ** _I truly believe in the talented Ultimate’s of Hope’s Peak, and the school’s mission statement. I just want to be confident in myself, to walk amongst the talented with pride. I just want to tell others hey, look at this neat thing I can do, but I can’t because there’s nothing inside of me. You can take an empty thing and fill it up at least._ **_No..noo.nono..._ ** _I don’t know of a Hinata Hajime. I don’t know him._  Kumagawa leaned over him. 『Come on, Izuru-chan. If you don’t wake up soon, you’ll have lost to a person like me.』  
  
Suddenly, Hinata realized his body was moving on it’s own again. Not only did he stand up on his own even though he felt like all of the strength had gone he was moving faster than he had before. It was like his body was possessed, suddenly he could see the moves Kumagawa would make before he made them. He wondered if this was finally the moment he unlocked his hidden technique, or found out he was part of a secret clan of warriors all along and was hiding his bloodline power. He expected it to feel… different, more heroic he guessed. He was scared. Even though he was winning the fight he was scared, he was not doing any of this, there were strings attached to his limbs and he had just become aware of them.

Kumagawa took a few more blows in succession, before he stopped the attack again grabbing his fist with an open palm.『It’s no good Izuru-chan, even though you hit hard I won’t lose to somebody who doesn’t hit as hard as Medaka-chan. Why do you hate me so much anyway?』  
  
**“You must think I’m the mastermind’s dog, or just being used again but I don’t care anymore. I did it all to wipe you out of my sight. Do you know why?”**

『Yeah… but that’s not my fault.』  
  
**“Yeah, you never once asked for it. You didn’t ask to be born such a unfortunate person, to endure so much, to be toughened up so much by it… but, that’s why I hate you even more. I hate you with all of my soul.”**

『Is that so? I’m glad then, Izuru-chan. I never knew somebody could care about me that much.』  
  
He was disappearing, even the voice coming out of his own lips did not belong to him. **“This is the first time I’ve ever felt this strongly about anything. That’s why I had to, I had to…”**

『Yeah, I get it. I know why you did this. It’s okay, it’s not like I’m mad or anything. Let’s play house, Izuru-chan!』Kumagawa said with a friendly smile. He then let him go and turned his back and started to walk away like their conversation was over and he had decided so on a whim.  
  
The moment Hinata broke free of his grip  his hand dug into his pocket. He pulled out a multi tool… this was Komaeda’s multi-tool that he had bought earlier? Had he grabbed it without even realizing it? No… no way, that would be like he was seriously planning a murder. He flicked his knife out of the multi tool and ran at his turned back. Kumagawa turned around in an instant, and  he suddenly twisted Hinata’s fingers hard enough that Hinata suddenly heard a crack, and felt something break. The knife fell out of his hands, and he too felt like the weight fell away from his body. 『Really? Losing consciousness at something like that? I guess it’s because you’re just like Junko, nothing really ever happened to you, except for a few normal trivial worries, so you can’t withstand anything, even a tiny amount of boredom.』  
  
He heard Kumagawa’s voice as the last thing before he blacked out entirely. Tears wellled in the corner of his eyes, what had he almost done? What had he almost thrown away? He just wanted to stop being Hinata Hajime in that moment, because anything was better than being somebody even lower than Kumagawa Misogi. He wanted to blame Kumagawa for being so cruel to him, but… he realized that he was the one who had started the fight, he was the one who had tried to make Kumagawa feel terrible, but he was so ineffectual he could not even make the guy who was always miserable even a little more miserable.  
  
He just… wanted to run away and become someone else. Perhaps that was why, Kumagawa and Zenkichi made him feel so uneasy. Neither of them would ever run away, that was the sense he got from both of them.

 

 ♛

 

When Hajime regained consciousness, he felt his face against wet sand. His entire body was limp, and numb from the cold of the sea breeze. He realized he was moving, and the only sensation he could feel besides the numbness was pain in his head. Oh, he was being pulled by the hair, and dragged through the sand. It was in the middle of the night and everybody had retired to their cabins, unwilling to face the island that seemed so empty without Zenkichi in it, which meant Kumagawa dragged Hinata through the sand by his hair without anyone noticing.  
  
He finally stopped on his own right in front of the board walk, and lifted Hinata up with a tug of his hair antannae. Kumagawa jumped onto the board walk ahead of him, and simply let him lie there while he want to knock on the door. Even though it was his own cabin, Enoshima Junko was the one to answer the door. “Misogi, I thought we agreed this cabin was mine now. You can go sleep with the fishes for all I care.”

『That’s basically like telling me to die! How can you say something so cruel! If I died there would definitely be consequences for you.』Kumagawa said his voice rising in mock concern.  
  
“Well, if you drowned on your own I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be the murderer in that case, so don’t worry you can die with a clean conscience.” Junko said in a cheerful voice.

『I don’t want to die at all...』Kumagawa whined back at her. He lifted Hinata by the head once more. 『Besides, I brought you a present. I feel like I still owe you, because I didn’t give you anything on your birthday.』  
  
Junko smiled, like he had shown up on her doorstep with flowers and chocolates, and not an unconscious body he was dragging. “Awe, you’re so sweet. How did I ever get unlucky enough to end up with someone like you, Bear River?”

『Of course, as your failure knight I told you I’d give you everything I have, my princess.』

 _They have pet names for each other?_ _  
_ _Ugh… I’m so jealous._ _  
_ _  
_ Hinata thought with his fleeting consciousness. When he next regained his consciousness, he was sitting with his hands tied behind a chair. The presence he had felt earlier was nowhere to be found. Back then it was like he was somehow drowning within himself, even though he was standing on the beach in the crisp, cool open air he felt like he was pulling underneath the water by the undertow, every movement of his body was sluggish because it was like he was trying to control himself surrounded by water. Regaining himself after all of that, it was like his head bursting from the surface after nearly drowning. Even though there was no water in his lungs, he coughed violently anyway, trying to rid himself of the feeling of a foreign substance that had seeped into his body through the cracks in his consciousness. Like dark water, like dark water that when he looked into it hid illusory depths.  
  
He kept coughing, until he noticed the taste of blood in his mouth. That was enough to bring him back to reality. What had just happened? He had fought Kumagawa, and lost and now he was tied to a chair. Was Kumagawa going to kill him now? He hoped so, because there was no way that Kumagawa would be able to murder someone cleanly, create the perfect crime without being caught. If he died at least Kumagawa would die with him, and that thought made him unbelievably happy for some reason. He just wanted Kumagawa to disappear from this island. He felt the water seeping in through the cracks once more, these dark, watery emotions, it was like somebody else’s feelings were flowing into his empty vessel.  
  
Despite his earlier fear he found he did not mind it too much, because it was better to have cold water sloshing around inside of his empty self, rather than to be made aware of his own emptiness again. There was one thing he had not figured out yet… from the moment he saw Kumagawa Misogi he hated him, but when Kumagawa asked him why all he could make was a weak effort at talking trash.  
  
Before he could think on it any further, his thoughts were interrupted. Red nails reached forward, and caressed his cheek, before pinching it harshly. A girl was leaning over him, from the angle he could see a black uniform, with a cut out collar that displayed her black and red polka dotted bra. He raised his chin suddenly to see Enoshima Junko’s face.  
  
“Long time no, see. Kamukura-senpaaaaaaai!”  
  
His eyes widened. _Why am I being called that name again?_

“Wow, you look awful. Did Misogi-senpai put you through the ringer? He’s always so rough, I know that better than most people.” She gave a wink and a smile like they were making casual, light hearted banter. She really couldn’t read the room if she thought right now was a time for bantering. “Sucks to be you.”  
  
“Eno...shima…”  
  
“Good morning…” She said walking over casually to her side as she let go of him and brushed off her hands on her skirt. He looked back up to see Kumagawa in the center of the room. “Hey, he didn’t wake up. Lame. How come he woke up for you, but not for me. I’m way cooler and more fun to talk to then you.”

『Maybe he’s just shy, since you’re so cute!』Kumagawa said with a pleasant smile.  
  
Neither of them seemed to be aware there was a person chained to a chair in the room they were sharing. Really those two, it was like they were on an entirely different frequency from everybody else, but just so happened to be on the same frequency. He was sure that was what it was, there was no way those two could understand other people they just happened to be twisted in the same way. Hinata tried to free himself from the chains, but he only succeeded in rubbing his wrists against the cold and unpleasant metal.  
  
“Well, whatever. I guess I’ll talk to rando for now. New topic. Hinata-senpai, tell me about Hope’s Peak. What kind of place did you think it was?”

Suddenly, for Hajime Hinata he felt like his body was floating on water. The colors around him bled away like somebody had splashed water on them, and he was no longer in a chair, in Kumagawa’s cabin. Once more, he was in front of Hope’s Peak Academy, standing at the gate staring up at it. He was just one step away from setting foot there. “Hope’s Peak Academy… huh? What was I doing here, I was on a class trip.” He stumbled backwards in his own delusion looking at the world around him. “Hope’s Peak Academy… that’s right I remember I came here to finally feel confident in myself.”  
  
Enoshima Junko rested her chin in her hands. “You’re so full of energy, so full of hope, I almost don’t recognize you.”  
  
He tried to take a step forward, but the gate shut in front of him. It was only one step, but it might as well have been across a chasm. He was standing on the other side and he could not reach it. You were either born on one side of the chasm, or the other, and there was nothing you could do to bridge the gap. “Yeah, I had hope… I wanted to believe in myself back then, but when I finally made it into that academy I realized the truth. That all the whispers that surrounded me my whole life were right.”  
  
“What did they say?”  
  
“People without talent are parasites. Ticks. Mindlessly gorging themselves on the blood of larger creatures, they pair off and reproduce.”

“Did you hear that Misogi, you’re a tick!”

『That’s not really fair, between us you’re the only one who could be called a vamp, Junko.』  
  
“But you’re the clingy one!”

Kumagawa smiled, as if he were just teasing her good naturedly.『You’re the bloodsucker.』  
  
_I wish they would just actually torture me._ Hinata lamented. It was better than facing the revelation that he would never get this close to another person.

“Who were they? Why did they come to talk to you?” Jnko said, as she casually walked around him with her hands behind her back, kicking her feet as she walked like she was a child in a good mood.  
  
“Because I didn’t have money to pay the tuition. I was going to get kicked out in less than a semester even though my parents took out a loan to send me here, I thought with the pressure I’d discover my talent in that limited time, but nothing happened. Not only that but… I started to resent the school I loved so much.”  
  
Did you hate Hope’s Peak?”  
  
“N-no, I would never hate Hope’s Peak. I just hated my own weakness.” Hinata saw several colorful children walking towards one end of the campus. Nanami Chiaki with a game in her hand, Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu lightly bantering with Pekoyama, Souda Kazuichi geting into an argument with Tanaka GUndham his pink hair a mess, Sonia Nevermind behind the two of them laughing obliviously. He knew all of their names, and all of their talents, but he did not belong with them. He was walking in the opposite direction, towards the reserve course.  
  
“I couldn’t walk among them…”  
  
“Did you ever try to walk on the main campus?”  
  
“Just once…those murders happened and they were keeping the reserve course students out of it, so I investigated on my own but they wouldn’t let me take a step on the main campus, even though I was going to this school to.”  
  
“I guess you were a Hope’s Peak student in name only.”  
  
“Sakakura beat me hard, and afterwards it’s not like it hurt or anything. I just felt numb. I had realized my limit, I couldn’t even take a single step. It would have been different if I had struggled and failed, but I never even tried in the first place.”  
  
“Oh, poor Hinata-senpai. Was Sakakura too brought with you?” She suddenly was behind him, and her fingers grabbed onto his cheeks, lightly caressing him before her nails dug right into one side of his face. “So, then what did you do that day after you ran away from Sakakura?”  
  
“I… I didn’t do anything.”  
  
“Fine, let me rephrase. What did they to do you?”  
  
“Once upon a time, the ticks tried to catch lightning in a bottle, frontloading every talent they could into one of their own. THe Super Highschool Level Hope they called him, in reality an inextinguishable host.” He could remember, a room covered in lights, a boy with bandages wrapped around his head. His hair had grown longer, too long, it was falling in front of his face and obscuring his eyes.

_“I thought he was too indecisive to make an ideal host. It’s not a problem, all defects of his original personality have been removed.”_

“No, that’s not true. They would never do that to me.”  
  
_“I hearby christen you Kamukura Izuru in honor of our school’s glorious founder.”_

“Do me a favor, kay? Don’t just sit there wallowing in your own guilt, that’s so booooring. It’s not going to change anything. You already know don’t you, no matter how much you realize your own mistakes, that feeling you have won’t go away.”  
  
“Wh-what are you saying?”  
  
“You’ve got a problem with that you know, you’re always changing yourself from one moment to the next trying to please everybody. It’s like you’re trying to escape from that.”  
  
“I don’t know…”  
  
He knew. He could remember the pain in his head, the smell of sterile hospital rooms, waking up over, and over, and over again to successive surgeries, seeing the same unfamiliar white ceiling never changing even as gradually they slowly chipped away at everything that made him, him, like they were artists trying to make a masterpiece from a blank piece of concrete.  
  
That’s right he was just blank before that.  
No matter how much they chipped away though in search of perfection, blank remained.  
That’s all perfection was, a blank piece of paper, it was nothing, perfection was featureless and boring.  
  
“Did you think you could blame this on something else? Coincidence? Tragedy? Fate? Sorry, but destiny doesn’t exist in this world, it’s just people’s actions it’s like I can see the future but really people always collide in such predictable ways. Who creates those circumstances? Would you care to guess?”

She had let go of him, and continued to walk girlishly, playfully in front of him. With his limited energy and grip on reality, all he could do was move his head up slightly and continue to follow her with his eyes. In front of him, suddenly her personality changed, and she stuck her tongue out, waving her hands in the air frantically. She was leaning forward so much, that the loose fitting tie around her neck was hanging off of her.“You still don’t get it!? You were used by the academy!”

Hinata let his head fall forward, but he could not escape her. She cupped one hand around his chin, and with her hand that still had fake nails grabbed the other side of his fae. “Awe, you were such an easy target for them too, you practically begged them to earase your personality and make you disappear, and the scientists had his way, and you were turned into a grade A freak just like me. All because you loved that academy.” She played with his head a little bit like it was a toy, turning it back and forth, before she finally let go.  
  
Hinata just continued to stare down.  
  
“Well, at least I have an excuse that I was born this way. You chose to become like me, that’s even more inexcusable.”  
  
“I don’t… I don’t understand what you’re talking about…”  
  
“God, what are you stupid? Oh, and just so you know I’m being tsundere towards Kamukura-senpai, I couldn’t care about you, Rando. Well, even somebody like you should be able to read.” She grabbed the files that Monokuma gave her, and carelessly tossed them about the floor. For a moment it seemed to be raining papers in every direction, but the moment Hinata looked down he could not look away. He saw the various reports of the Kamukura project, almost as many as there were surgeries. In the center of them all was his student profile, and just underneath it a permission form with his signature.  
  
The reason he was empty inside, the reason he remembered nothing, the reason he had felt so strange, it was because he had wanted this. He had asked them to scoop out all of his organs and replace it with something better, but no matter how much they crammed in the emptiness would not go away.

“N...no, I didn’t. I don’t want to be here. Please switch! I don’t want to see this anymore. Please switch with me, Kamukura! I can’t take this!”  
  
“This is because you had hope, Kamukura-senpai. This is where your hope led you. This is why you’re on this pointless island right now. You trapped yourself in this cage, come on, don’t you want to come out and help me break it like old times?”  
  
“Please, please, I don’t want to think about this, please let me be somebody else! You’re better than me aren’t you? Switch with me! Change! Henshin! Do I have to strike a pose! Do I have to drown myself again! Please, please just do it!” Hinata screamed and begged, thrashing wildly aginst the chains that were tying him to a chair but it made no difference. No such change occured. Until he tired himself out, and let his head fall forward.  
  
“How boring... “ Junko said, as she walked away. “Hmmm, maybe if we torture him or something Kamukura-senpai will come out. Well for such a normal boy, I’m sure being tortured with the familiar will be more despair inducing.”  
  
“That’s fine… just do it already. I want to disappear…” He muttered. _Yes, I truly wished for that.  
_  
Just then Kumagawa who had been watching the entire time from the corner, walked over and behind his chair. He easily undid the knots the chains had been tied into, and freed him. The moment he could feel his wrists, Hinata took off running in the opposite direction. Neither one of them did anything to stop him but watch.  
  
“Oi!? What’d you do that for? At this rate I’m never going to see my true love Kamukura-senpai ever again…” Junko said, putting her hands on her hips.  
  
Kumagawa narrowed his eyes. 『I’m your boyfriend, you know.』  
  
“You can’t get in the way of true love, Misogi. The moment I see him again I’m sure I’ll be overcome with the doki dokis by his hunkaliciousness and dump you on the spot.”

Even though he knew Junko was only joking around, he was starting to regret telling her about Izuru-chan.『It’s like the time with you and Ryoko-chan, there’s some part of him that’s preserving his original personality as Izuru-chan… hm… torturing him probably wouldn’t do all that much, because he wants to be punished you know? He wants to feel like the worst person in existence to escape from his guilt it wouldn’t faze him, but… it would probably set off Nagito-chan which we’ll need to happen too.』

“So what, we just hurt one and the other goes ballistic? Like throwing gwen stacy off the bridge?”

『Keep your references to manga only, I don’t read American Comics. Well those two are kind of like this, it’s like they’re both walking on a tight rope with each other, while at the same time each of them has a noose tied around their neck that’s connected to the other. So, what’s the most fun thing to do in this situation?』  
  
“Hmmm, push one of them off and then the other gets dragged down with him as the noose tightens around his neck! Yaaaaay!”

『No, that’s the easy way. The most fun would be… to light the rope on fire, and then sit back and don’t do anything else, just watch what both of them do next.』  
  
“I like the part with the fire, but not the part where I’m not controlling everything.”

『It’ll be more fun if you can’t control it! Do you trust me?』  
  
“...? What kind of fucking question is that? Why would I need to fucking trust anybody, all of you bitches always do everything for me!” Junko said, switching personalities suddenly to shout in his face, which Kumagawa kept smiling through as always.

『Yeah, but do you trust me?』He tilted his head towards her, coming within centimeters of her unpleasant face, twisted into a terrible expression with her tongue hanging out.  
  
Suddenly, her cheeks reddened at the closeness. “Don’t ask questions you already know the answer to…” She said, her eyes glancing down at her feet.  
  
He reached for her hand and picked it up, holding it gently like it belonged to a princess. Even if he was a failure knight, he was always treating her like that. As he pulled up her hand, her gaze was nudged upwards as well to meet his eyes, eyes so blue like a stretch of ocean water over an abyssal trench it was impossible to determine the depths to which they would sink. 『Then, don’t worry so much. You’re always so fussy. I promise, no matter what this round won’t be boring because the fifth round is where the game gets broken.』

Her head rested against his chest, and she sighed softly. She asked this as if it were a reasonable request. “Hey, Misogi will you destroy this fake world with me.”

『Yeah, sure.』  
  
“Why?”

『Because I hate it.』  
  
“But you love me, right? Then why are you letting me do something so destructive! Shouldn’t you want me to be a good person?”

『Yeah, I do, but as much as I love you I also hate you.』  
  
“Who do you hate more? Me, or the world?”

『You of course.』  
  
“Upupupupupu, hearing you say that makes me feel all tingly. I wonder why that is?” She laughed girlishly, without even realizing it her leg had popped up from behind her, carelessly in the air. They were both such careless, reckless people. That was what Hinata though at least, that was why he hated them so much. "But you know, I love you just as much." 

Kumagawa suddenly blsuhed and looked his eyes, as if he were flustered and this were somehow a normal flirty conversation and not a discussion of their plans to end the world. In a voice barely holding back emotion, he whined.『You never play fair.』  
  
"If you want me to play fair then get on my level."

『I'm trying, but your walls are just so high.』  
  
"Who gave you permission to put your dirty hands on my walls?"   
  
Even as he got further away, he could still hear them. They were still carelessly laughing and cracking such lame jokes.   
  
Then he heard nothing, because a voice was booming in his head. **“You’re the same, aren’t you?”**

“No, I’m not.”

**“You’re right, you’re worse, because you aren’t even aware of yourself. You do all of these things without even realizing, because you can’t face yourself.”**

“What’s wrong with that! It’s not like there’s anything to look at! When everybody else is an amazing person why do I have to constantly acknowledge how mediocre I am? Let me just run away from the mediocre me!”  
  
He yelled at nobody in particular as he continued to run. He ran along the beach, trying to outrun his reflection in the water that followed him, even though he could no longer hear the whispers of his other self in his ear. It was pretty symbolic and junk, but I can’t help but feel Hajime was being a little short sighted in that moment.

 

 ♛

 

Hajime ran, kicking the sand up on the beach behind him. Whatever tracks were left from him and Kumagawa’s previous fight, he completely destroyed as he kept running. He did not even run any particular direction he just kept running along the beach line. Eventually he collapsed due to his own tiredness and looked up.  
  
He saw the heads of the cabins in the distance. He had run a full lap around the beach and ended up back where he started, without accomplishing anything. Junko and Kumagawa were both so overwhelming, now that they were in league with each other. He could not even remember half of what he had been told, only that he wanted to shut all of it out.  
  
If he could not do that, he at least needed to figure things out. He reached up and pinched a small tuft of his brown hair between fingers, and went over what he remembered reading. That day after being beaten up by Sakakura, he decided to take the offer the old man had discussed with him. He only thought they were going to give him one talent artificially, but instead he was operated on again and again. He became somebody else entirely, and they gave him a new name.

As he lay in the ground he remembered.

_However, Kamakura himself was completely untouched. It did not even look like he had broken a sweat over such a fight. Kumagawa was leaning again back up against the same broken chalkboard. “This is boring. Have you realized it yet how below me you are, or do you really believe yourself special and unique for wanting to challenge the talented? You’re more transparent than you think you are. All the untalented blame the talented around them for their inferiorities, and attack them like locusts to oppress them..”_

_Kamakura stopped when Kumagawa suddenly lifted his head and had tears falling down from both eyes.『Don’t get the wrong idea, Izuru-chan. I’m not crying because your hits hurt, or because I’ve fallen into despair. These are tears of joy. I was so happy when Anshinin told me all about you!』Kumagawa stood up once more, but rather than try to fight again he held both of his hands open.  『I’ve waited my entire life to meet you! For someone like you who was even more of a minus then me! The reason those two follow me, is because they were happy to find somebody more pathetic than they were. I was looking for that too, looking for somebody minuser so I could be relieved of being the worst, most pathetic, most awful person in all of existence.』_

_“More nonsense.”_

_『No it’s not! Don’t be cruel Izuru-chan. These are words from the heart from somebody whose fallen for you! I really did think my life was the worst, I was untalented, and had no friends, and couldn’t work hard. But you know, even somebody like me was able to keep living as myself, as insecure and fragile as an existence as I was.』_

_“...”_

_Kumagawa was getting closer to him, Kamakura noticed but didn’t do anything._

_『However, I didn’t feel so bad about myself, that I agreed to change my whole personality in order to become somebody better. I didn’t hate myself so much that I would do literally anything to be somebody else.  I never once thought I should stop being myself, but you did! You’re so pathetic and weak, you put all that talent on to cover up your insecure self, but I know better than anybody that insecurities don’t go away no matter how many band aids you put on them.』_

_Kumagawa fell on his knees right in front of Kamakura. He crawled the last few steps on them, before bowing at his feet.  『I’m so happy to meet you, I can barely keep it in. Thanks to you I can finally feel good about myself in comparison! Thank you! I’m so grateful! I’ll do anything for you! I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth! I’ll lick your boots, please, just let me serve under you. You’re a minus among minuses! You failed completely even at being an untalented normal person, what made you think you’d be able to stand among the talented? You belong with us, Izuru-chan! You can be the king of the minuses!』_

_For the first time in his life, Izuru Kamakura was completely overcome with an emotion. He felt nothing but disgust and repulsion for all of Kumagawa’s existence. He remembered now why he had forgotten the face of that boy. It was because his own brain had rejected the memory, as if he wanted to forget._

_He looked down at his own hands to see them shaking. Kumagawa was a sickness, if he stayed any longer he would be infected by it too. So, just like that, he turned around and left.  
_  
He… consented to all of this? Did he know? If he had known, would he have cared? Then, if his original self was erased then why was he still here, still conscious as Hajime? How was his existence being maintained? He had no idea at all, but the memories in his head confirmed at least that his transformation into Kamukura Izuru was no lie. Then, all of those sharp headaches, all of those pains like a screw being undone behind his eye it was his memories as Kamukura returning.  
  
Despite figuring that out he was still a jumble. He knew he was not smart enough to sort this all out, but if he told this to anybody else on the island they would believe he was the traitor. There had to be somebody he could trust… and if not, there was somebody who would never run away from him at least. _Because his standards are low..._ Kumagawa’s words echoed in his skull and he vigorously shook his head. No, that was not it.  
  
Still, he was not sure he could put into words his relationship with Kamukura even if he wanted to. Those papers must have been given to Junko and Kumagawa for clearing the final dead room, the Bonus Prize that Monokuma talked about. If he could seal some of them and show them to Komaeda, he was sure Komaeda could sort this out for him. Komaeda was a lot smarter than him after all, just as Kumagawa said. He was not sure why he had not noticed it until Kumagawa pointed it out to him, he was always looking at the other boy after all. When they investigated together, it was like Komaeda investigated, and then dropped hints to the proper conclusions.  
  
He was sure, as long as they were together they could figure it out, even if the indecision made him feel like at the moment his head was threatening to tear itself in two. So, because Hinata was always going around in metaphorical circles anyway he went in a literal one and crept back to Kumagawa’s cabin that he had just ran away from with all of his energy. He glanced through a crack in the door, and saw they were both still inside the cabin. That made sense and as he had seen several times, those two were not uncomfortable sharing any kind of space with each other. He wondered why he had seen it so many times? Was he cursed to be unlucky? Did he experience cycles of good and bad luck like Komaeda after all? Was he a pervert?

He hoped it was not the last one, because he would not know, since he had no experience at all with that sort of thing.

He had never once imagined being that close to another human being. He didn’t want to be, if he was that close, they would probably just be able to see all of his little flaws, all the cracks inside of him.

Just then, Enoshima Junko walked out of the bathroom. Her apperance and that custom designed uniform as pristine as ever. 

“Do you have any makeup remover?”

『No for some reason, neither Zenkichi-chan nor I thought to buy makeup remover.』  
  
“Well, it’s not like makeup would have done you any good.” She reached forward to pinch his cheeks, but Kumagawa merely leaned his head away from her. His eyes looked distant. “Awe, how come in front of everybody else you act all maniacal and smiley… masmileacal.”

『That didn’t work.』  
  
“Shut up it did, it was super clever and everybody loved it, because they love me and hate you.” She said, squishing his cheeks further.

『Junko, why are you playing with my face? Are you going to tear it off?』  
  
“It’s so squishy…How is your face this squishy I don’t get it. It’s like every thing about you is interesting…”

『I don’t think I’m that interesting...』  
  
“Now you’re acting all mopey again, what’s your deal?”

『My friend just died?』  
  
“Why would you be sad about that? That’s a reason to smile, and laugh, that’s despair you’re feeling right there!”

『Wow, your complete lack of empathy is almost kind of helping...There’s nothing quite like knowing that nobody cares about your problems to help you get over them quicker.』Kumagawa said, shaking his head to get away from her fingers. When he leaned away from her though she just leaned towards him more, like she had no sense of personal space at all.  
  
“You show your smiles to everybody else, but you only show these miserable mopey faces to me. Why is that?”

『I thought you liked my misery.』  
  
“Well, I don’t dislike it I guess. Your misery leads you to do interesting things, your self sabotage makes you always act in ways you don’t expect and therefore I don’t expect it either.”

『Then, you shouldn’t complain about me being miserable. You’re just being fussy again.』  
  
“No… something’s off…” She said, leaning on him from behind and slowly wrapping her arms around him. Kumagawa always froze up and tensed when people suddenly wrapped their arms around him, he was always expecting pain, and yet when it was the touch of Enoshima Junko somebody who was almost guaranteed to hurt him he relaxed and eased up. Her fingers found the marks on his neck that seemed fresher than the others. “Hey, did you do this? What for?”

『I dunno.』  
  
“Come on, self reflection leads to character development.”

『If I just tell you why I do these things that I do, then that’s telling and not showing, it’s bad storytelling.』Kumagawa said, as he looked back up at her.  
  
“Hey, take your shirt off.”

『Why?』  
  
“Gosh, you’re such a terrible accomplice. Why are you always asking why? You’re just supposed to shut up and listen to orders.”

『Well isn’t this an existentialist piece? Like Evangelion? We need to ask why?』

“Hmm, I don’t think about that kind of thing. In private, I would always think something along the lines of how despair-inducingly wonderful it must be to put an end to something as insignificant as small fish…”

『I see, because a small fish in a bowl has given up all of it’s freedom to swim for a small amount of safety in the confines of the glass bowl, but when you pick it up and crush it between your fingers you’re taking away the last thing it had left. There’s no reason at all, but you can do it, like flipping a turtle on it’s back and then just walking away.』  
  
“You weren’t supposed to take that seriously, god! You weren’t even supposed to listen! I was just saying pointless shit!”

『Huh? But I’m always listening to you. Even if it’s pointless I’ll do it anyway.』  
  
“You always say such interesting things…” She said, quieting down as she shifted away. “Take your shirt off.”

『Junko, does thinking about despair actually turn you on? Please be honest with me.』  
  
“Oi, oi! That’s not what it’s for!”

『You can tell she’s mad because she’s saying Oi.』Kumagawa grumbled, before he reached and started to unbutton his shirt. Even if he always resisted, he usually gave into her. Always losing was his thing after all, and he got especially lost in her eyes. It was a more pleasurable form of losing than most other losses. He slid his shirt off, and sat down on the corner of the bed.  
  
She came behind him, and started to pull out the stitches in his back. SInce they were an unprofessional job, pulling them out made him wince with pain, and just to make him squirm a little more she would stick his finger in the wound by mistake. She watched every twitch of his face with intense delight.

When his back was done, she moved onto his stomach as well. Her fingers brushed against his completely flat stomach and she even teased the part where the curves of his hip trailed down into his pants before paying attention to his wounds again. She resewed up the point where Mukuro had stabbed him with a broken piece of hospital equilpment. Then finally she moved onto his hand, covered in bandages. He had been stabbed once by Mikan there, and then had a gun explode in his hand, it was almost as broken as her own hand at this point which she had sliced off at the wrist. She redid the bandages, but he cold still only faintly move it. She was surprised, just a little bit that with all of those injuries he was still able to take down Hajime fairy easily. If she asked him about it though, he was sure he would call it a loss.  
  
When she was done redoing his bandages though, she was not quite finished draping himself around him.

『What’s the point of this, Junko?』  
  
“If you die of blood loss, or infection, that’s a boring kind of despair, like someone disappearing quietly. It’s no fun if they leave me like that, it has to be in the most heart wrenching way possible.”

『I see.』  
  
“Mukuro is so mean you know. If she just… walks away from me of her own free will, then what am I supposed to do?”

『She probably just got tired of you.』

“Huh? No, people can’t get tired of me. It can’t work that way, because I won’t feel anything that way you know, disappointed expectations aren’t despair, disappointed expectations is just more of what I feel all the time.”

Kumagawa felt her nails digging even tighter into his flesh, possessively.『Junko, I already told you Mukuro-chan doesn’t have to be the victim of your love...she doesn’t have to receive those feelings of yours it’s her choice.』  
  
“But… Mukuro was always next to me. If Mukuro can just walk away, not get stabbed, not die in some amazingly painful way, then… won’t you get tired of me too?”

『Probably, you are really annoying after all.』  
  
“Be serious.”

『I wouldn’t be the prince of fools if I was ever serious, but Junko...what’s bothering you, you love talking so much especially talking about yourself so why don’t you just tell me?』

“I remembered dying, you know. I didn’t feel how I expected to feel dying, I just thought ‘ah, how tiresome.’ If I hang myself I’ll feel nothing and regret it, if I don’t hang myself I’ll feel nothing and regret it. Whether I hang myself, or don’t hang myself, I’ll feel nothing either way. There’s no choice where I’ll ever feel satisfied. What then?”

『Hmmm...are you quoting philosophy at me in the bedroom? Is that what we're doing now?』  
  
“Nobody knows about death you know… at least, something unexpected could be waiting for me there. At least the ending could be unexpected….”

『Hey, Junko. I'm betting, if you died laughing you'd probably enjoy it more than dying all miserable anyway. Because death is absurd and cruel, and laughter is really the only way to respond to that kind of absurdity.』  
  
"The feeling of smiling wide, laughing with all of my heart, and then suddenly having all of that happiness being devoured, that might be an interesting kind of despair. Hmm, you said something interesting again." 

『Even if it’s all going to end in bitter tragedy, I’ll still give everything to you that I have to spend. And you’ll give nothing back to me. So don’t worry about me leaving. If it's an ending I can laugh at, I won't regret it okay? 』  
  
“I’ll give nothing back to you?” She said with a tilt of her head, before leaning even further to bury her head in the crevasse of his neck. “What an interesting thing to say. You know, you’re the only thing that’s even remotely interesting, despair’s all I have in response to a basic existential quandry, and then you... So I can’t give you back ever.”

Junko said as she leaned over him completely now and pushed him forward. 『Uhh… Junko...』Kumagawa muttered responding in confusion as he always did.

_He’s in much more pain than me, but I made him say those things. To relish my own self-worth for a little while longer. I’m sure, any girl would envy me. They would want to be spoiled as much as I have. Even that boy who has nothing spoils me. Covet what they could never have. I will always take what I want, in the most effortless ways.  I want to shatter people like many different shades of colored glass, then watch light dance through all the shards as they fall down. I want to gather up those sharp shards like a collector, cutting my hands on them as I pick them up. Line them up like treasures and admire them. I want to handle them, trample them, do as I please with them._

_That’s the kind of stuff I want to do._

『 _Ummm… but why?_ 』

WIthout him even needing to say it, his voice appeared in her head. Those questioning looks he always gave her. He always watched her so closely, like he was trying to understand her, but even Izuru Kamukura who was exactly the same creature as her could not understand her. It was so pointless.

 _Um…._ _  
_ _Because that’s all I know._ _  
__That's all I am.  
  
_ She had crawled on top of him, and he was splayed on the mattress. They were probably going to undo all the work she had just done, tending to his wounds again but when she thought of those scars reopening again it physically delighted her. Her skirt was so small just by spreading her legs wide enough she was already lifting it up.  
  
She changed her mind about how she wanted to approach this, and suddenly without warning flipped him over. The entire world spun around the two of them for a moment and then suddenly he was on top of her, and her legs were the ones that were spreading. To give him a hint, she reached up and undid one button of her button up uniform for him. Her bra was already peaking out for all times, so he should have known what was waiting for him. His eager hands reached for he buttons, and undid them one by one. With nothing to hold them back her breasts fell out, only held now by a loose fitting black bra.  
  
He reached forward but she slapped his hands away, because this was her time after all. She wanted to appreciate the look his face made right at that moment. Most would regard Kumagawa Misogi as plain looking, and utterly forgettable, but it was because of those plain characteristics he was ever so slightly harder to read. His face was always hiding so much misery, and always seemed to twist up in new ways. RIght at this moment, he looked fearful.  
  
He was not afraid of her, but rather afraid of hurting her. That was unbelievably stupid, considering the difference in their power levels. If this were DBZ she would be a saiyan and he would be some kind of plant probably. It was stupid in a cute way though, he held so much back behind the mask of a smile. It made her want to reach her nails underneath his flesh, and pry that mask off by any means possible. At this moment it would be simple though, as most people’s masks came to pieces during times like this. She was probably the only person on earth who could not stop herself from thinking, even right now.  
  
She reached up and touched his face, not the same violent possessive way she usually held him, but he flinched away from her softness and tilted his head away from her. He was scared of softness more than he was scared of harshness, how peculiar. Her grip chased him, and she caressed the side of his face. His hair was straight and black, and she had already messed it up a little bit between her fingertips so it fell where it was not supposed to, over his face. She casually flipped it away so she could see more of that face. She had no inerest in all at beauty, because beauty implied that there was some kind of inherent worth in the world, and she would still never admitthat. But, she did like things that were superficially pretty in a way. _Pretty face. Pretty hair… Yeah I think so. If I told him he would be so happy, so I’ll never tell him even if I die. It’s okay to think they’re nice. I don’t think there’s any particular meaning behind it._

『J-junko, umm… can we...please.』  
  
“Begging doesn’t work on me you know. I’m immune to begging-”

『Yeah, I’ve heard that speech before try to bargain with a fractured psyche, but nothing happened to you to break your psyche in the first place so I have a hard time believing it. I think you’re just making excuses to be unreasonable. 』  
  
“There’s no point in reasoning with an unreasonable world.”

『It’s not my fault, it’s the world’s? What kind of moral is that for a manga?』  
  
Even now, even in such an intense situation they were making meaningless conversation. They seemed to just always be bouncing things off of each other, trying to push each other’s buttons, find each other’ slimits, because they could not figure these things out intuitively, they could not feel them like everybody else could so they had to do it scientifically.

The words they exchanged were not particularly substantial. They could practically say anything to each other, so often their tongues got quite sharp and nasty. _It’s just like this. It doesn’t really mean anything. I’d never let anything reach me to hurt me after all, because I can see what’s coming far in advance. I gets so predictably boring, that the only thing to anticipate is the unexpected. Like him for example, he makes me act in unexpected ways, demands unexpected things from me, everybody else was content to worship me from afar, I’ve never denigrated myself before anyone before._

“What’s wrong, why are you so quiet? Am I boring you?” She was wondering why he had not made a move yet. She really wondered, if she would have to do everything herself. If she stopped, or if she let him do his own thing, he would always stop right before she was really making it work for herself. Everybody else always fell short of her expectations, so it was easier even in times like this just to do everything herself. Yet, she did not do that. She patiently waited for him.

『No, I was thinking… The way you look right now, completely detached like you’re calculating every single last detail, I like that. It’s like you have a perfect mask on your face, I want to break it, to rip it off.』

 _Gross. He’s complimenting me. Did I sound like I was insecure? That’s even grosser. I feel the same way, I want to say that, but I can’t. Because I’m different from him. Pretty souls don’t always reside in pretty vessels. I’m just ambivalent. I’m saturated with it. I’ve become distorted by my own indifference.  
_  
Finally he reached forward and under her skirt, tugged at the waist line of her panties. She wiggled her hips just a little bit to help him out, and then let it move down her legs where she kicked them off flippantly. He was not allowed to undress so little though, because she wanted to see all of him. She liked those scars that covered every inch of him, and the way his entire body shook in agony. So, greedily, her nails traveled once more to the waist band of his pants, and she gave it a demanding tug.  
  
He sighed and removed his hand from her to pull them off. All that was left was a pair of white boxers. A pair of pure white boxers. She stared at them for a second, seeing how tight they were already before moving back to his face.

『Aren’t you going to take your hair pins out?』 _  
_ _  
_ _“_ The pig tails are my signature look you know.”

『Your make up is going to get all messy.』  
  
“Messy is more interesting than clean, don’t you think. It's more fun when it's messy, when things get blurred, they don't need to be distinct.”

He leaned over her once more, and she saw his shadow overtake her. As if he would forget where to go, she let her nails slide down her bare belly. Then, as her legs spread and crossed behind him, and she felt him, her hands twisted  in the sheets that were behind her. Her cold and calculating eyes never left him though, she could not stop watching something so fascinating.  
_  
_ _I just want satisfaction. For a moment. So, I’ll entertain his illusion. I’ll act in a way, even I don’t expect. And then… I’ll crush it._ Well, even if death was a disappointment for her she could kill him. She had felt so great when Yasuke died, even if it was just a moment and she started searching for the next despair immediately afterwards. One more moment was all she needed, but to do that she needed to get out of this digital world and escape to the real one and kill him for real there. One more, one more, always wanting a little more like the spoiled girl she was she could keep on going. Everybody thought about death after all, she had been thinking about it for so long like a constant companion, even at this moment all tangled up in him she could not forget about it. But then she caught a glimpse of his face.

_We’re alike in a way, so he’ll realize it soon enough. Even though he doesn’t want to. Some things just don’t change. Some things are timeless, like how marketable Monokuma is. If I changed who would I even be? Would he look at me the same way?_

She thought, as the mask on his face gave way to pure emotion. She wondered… if she would ever be able to look in such a way too. To be overwhelmed, and be unable to calculate.  She just wanted to disappear too.

_What a stupid thing to think about. When did I start thinking of that, I’ve been exactly the same ever since I was born._

『Hey, Junko… are you alright?.』  
  
“Huh?”

『You’re crying...』  
  
“It’s just emotional release… or something hormonal I’m sure…”

『Yeah, sure, sure...』  
  
But delicately he reached down and cleared the tears from the corner of her eyes, wiping them with his rough fingers. Her vision blurred for a moment and she would not see the world as clearly as she always did. The world was just a bunch of sensations that her brain jumbled up and decoded, the roughness of his touch, the warmth of his body against hers, every way in which he shook and she could feel it. Then, her eyes refocused again.  
  
Then she saw it, a red target like eye watching her through the door. She picked up one of her boots where she had left it on the mattress and threw it at the door closing it.  
  
Hajime Hinata stumbled backwards.

 _Why was I watching for so long?_ _  
_ _Those two..._ _  
_ _I thought they were inhuman, but when they’re alone with each other they act completely different I don’t get it…_ _  
_ _How can two people get so close? I have no idea at all._ _  
_ _I thought they just happened to be on the same frequency by chance, but it was more like they were constantly tuning themselves to each other..._ _  
_ _Am I…_ _  
_ _Am I a pervert after all?_

 

 ♛

  
Hinata found himself in front of Komaeda’s door completely empty handed. He was not sure what he was going to say, he was not even sure what to begin with. Knocking, knocking was probably a good start because Komaeda lacked x ray vision and could not see through the door.  
  
He knocked to announce his presence, and heard a noise like a cat being startled and falling off the bed. Komaeda probably did not have particularly healthy sleep habits, and the few times they had shared a bed in the past week Komaeda had curled up to take up as small a space as possible.  
  
When Komaeda opened the door, he could see Komaeda’s face looked paler than usual, his eyes were sunken in and darkened. “H… have you been crying?” Hinata asked. Komaeda was not one to cry at all, even in the absolute worst of circumstances. He always smiled and laughed it off. But, Zenkichi was such an important existence to him that he could not simply laugh it off. Hinata suddenly felt agitated for some reason. It was like something had bristled an old scar and made him feel the faint sensation of that wound again.  
  
“Are you going to comfort me? How self important of you, if you can comfort an Ultimate, if you can trick them into depending on you then you’ll be stealing away some of their importance, some of their brilliance for your own, right? Why don’t you just find another reserve course student somewhere off this island, and pair off and reproduce with them and leave me out of it.”  
  
“Is that what you want? You want me to disappear?” He had been begging to do so this entire night.  
  
“Just disappear from my sight. You’re annoying to look at. I can’t believe a stepping stone like you survived and Hitoyoshi-kun died. Everything is backwards…”  
  
“You’re so full of shit! Now I’m never going to disappear, just to spite you!” Hinata angrily yelled as he pushed the door open and forced himself in. Komaeda had snuck into his own cabin so many times and asked to stay with him, it was only fair. He had been wishing to disappear, but suddenly spite revitalized him.  
  
In the low light of his room, Komaeda finally notied what was different about Hinata’s face. Such a perfect face in all of its rough features and imperfections was suddenly made, messy, purple, and crude, he must have gotten into a fight. “Did you get into a fight with one of your betters? It’s too bad they didn’t kill you.”  
  
“I got into a fight with Kumagawa.”  
  
“It’s too bad you two didn’t kill each other and rid the island of your presence, then.”

“Would you quit it! I don’t want to hear you talk that way about me!”  
  
“Huh? Why not?”  
  
“Because… it hurts, damnit!” His feelings, the ones he had been repressing ever since he saw Zenkichi’s corpse came spilling out, he did not fall in a particularly beautiful, silent, or elegant way, like falling rain or falling snow, the noises he made now were quite ugly. Yet for some reason, Komaeda listened to all of them, every small noise he made in that moment as he started to crumble attentively. He was not Enoshima Junko, he did not find falling things particularly beautiful, it was probably just because those noises came from Hinata. They were Hinata’s noises, they were a part of him. He wanted to hoard every single little piece of Hinata all to himself. He wondered if he would be allowed to be that selfish, because Hinata was just worthless trash just like him and nobody else wanted him. “Ever since I saw Zenkichi die and knew he was an important person to you, I tried to just let you do whatever you want and say whatever you want to me because I knew you were in way worse pain then me. I thought I could endure it, but I can’t… because I’m really weak, much weaker than I thought. Even weaker than a person whose just average and not extraordinary in any way. It hurts when you say all those things to me, I can’t just ignore it…it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, nobody wants to be talked about that way by the person they love.”

That was right, Hinata had confessed feelings of love for him. What had he done in response? Feelings of nastiness, he had just vented all his unpleasant feelings at Hinata because Hinata was putting up with him for now. Because that’s all that anybody was capable of doing, only temporarily, and then they would be driven away. He had already accepted that Hinata would leave a long time ago, he was confused a bit when he did not, and he thought Hinata was just confused when he said those words I love you. He knew Hinata would go away eventually, so he did whatever he pleased in the moment.  
  
“But more than that I’m scared, I’m not going to go anywhere because I’m scared right now. I’m always terrified you’re going to disappear on me to some far off place, but especially now you kept talking about the opening act, and preparing for what comes next, and I’m afraid you’re going to kill yourself just like Zenkichi did. Nobody wants to watch the person they love act so self destructive, don’t leave me behind you big, fluffy haired jerk.”

Komaeda watched all of this with intense fasicnation. He did not understand a single thing on Hinata’s face. Hinata’s words sounded sad, but he himself was not crying, and in fact he looked quite angry. He was rude and brash as normal. Every little thing he did was quite fascinating, and Komaeda was even further tripped up by why he paid such close attention to these details. After all, Hinata was a boring nobody, there was nothing he did that was particularly unique or outstanding. He was not even possessing an eccentric personality, or extraordinary misfortune like Kumagawa. He was the most boring person on the island, he should have been, yet he was entirely at the center of Komaeda’s eyes and he feared taking his eyes off of him for what he might miss even a second.  
  
He liked seeing Hinata-kun’s features twist up in pain like that. He enjoyed the fact that he was actually close enough to someone to be the one causing them this pain. That was why he was such a terrible person. Even at this moment, even when he was in such clear pain, pain that he had been the one to cause, he was just indulging his own self importance. He said whatever he wanted, because he thought Hinata was not even listening to him. Hinata listened to him, to every insult, to every degrading remark, it made him so happy to be listened to. Hinata clung to him, even after he had inflicted every pain he could think of to try to drive him away, it made him so happy to be clung to.  
  
“Don’t cry, over something as stupid and insignificant as me, Hinata-kun. It’s unbecoming.” Komaeda said that, but he wondered if he could. If there was somebody in this world who would actually shed tears over him. Probably not, that was just another delusion of his own self importance. Komaeda for the first time, leaned in and kissed the corner’s of Hinata’s eyes.  
  
“I’m not crying… you jerk… stupid… face…” Hinata’s cheeks had become so reddened, and suddenly his heart was beating so fast he was in a loss for words. He had been screaming his heart out at Komaeda a moment ago, and suddenly it became so tender. He had no idea why, apparently after all this time he still had not figured out that Komeda had a tendency to jump between extremes. “Can I stay here for the night… I don’t want to let you out of my sight.”  
  
“Why should I let you stay here? What do you have to give me?”  
  
“Nothing I guess….” Hinata did not get it at all, bashfully blinking his eyes as he thought about it.Why did he lean forward to kiss him if he did not want him around. He apparently had not figured out that Komaeda had a tendency to contradict himself.  
  
Komaeda turned away and Hinata rushed to grab him, his fingers gripping tight along the fringe of his green jacket. “Wait don’t…”  
  
Just then, something fell out of his pocket. He had totally forgotten about it, but a long time ago Kumagawa had given him a small packet and he had stuffed it into his pocket without thinking. Komaeda looked down, and then looked up. “Hinata-kun.” Komaeda said, in such a casual voice it was almost completely unnatural for him. “Do you want to have sex?”  
  
“I’ve thought about it,” the truth slipped from his mouth before he could even catch it. THey had kissed plenty of times before this, and he knew he had gotten hard when Komaeda clung to him in the night sleeping.  
  
“I think it’d be fun. If you were an ultimate, I would have offered to do it to please you, but you’re somebody even lesser than me, you could do it to please me right?” Komaeda’s expression twisted with his logic, he was suddenly quite smug.  
  
“I don’t… know how to do that sort of thing with a guy though…” He admitted nervously. Not with a girl either, but he did not need to tell Komaeda that, he would probably work in another reserve course insult.  
  
“That’s fine. I know how.”  
  
“Really, d-d-d-did you… with someone else.”  
  
“No, as if somebody would ever touch me in that way. I just reserached it on my own.”  
  
“You can do that!?” For some reason, HInata seemed impressed by something as stupid as that. Komaeda considered doing it first, since he would know, and he would be in control a sensation rarely felt for him, but he decided against it because if somebody like him took control it was guaranteed to be a disaster. A meteor might strike the roof of his cabin the moment he saw stars, forcing him to see actual stars. If he got lucky, who knew what kind of bad luck would await him.  
  
He dug under the bed, and grabbed a dirty looking magazine with a bear printed on the cover. It was a Doujinshi, self published by Monokuma, the two main characters a white haired boy, and a brown haired boy looked a little bit like him and Hinata but he tried not to think too hard about it. That was a common trope in anime as far as he had heard, he was not so much a manga guy but he did like games quite a lot.  
  
There was something about existing in a world where everything was pre programmed and thought ahead by developers, it was oddly comforting. Komaeda sat down  on a chair, and Hinata leaned over the back of the chair reading over his shoulder, touching Komaeda's shoulder lgihtly as he did. Komaeda wondered if any touch of his could make Hinata make such a surprised face, and then felt ashamed of himself for thinking that way. If his pale body touched Hinata’s, he would probably just feel disgust and revulsion. He thought about wanting Hinata to sit on his lap while they read it together, so he could feel a warmth on his lap, but that was a stupid and selfish thought too.  
  
“Hey, let me do it…” Hinata said suddenly oddly eager. “My tongue isn't longer than yours, so I’d probably be better. Just sit there and wait, like when you washed my feet. Let me pay you back for that.  
  
“That wasn’t really a sex thing.”  
  
“Dude that scene was dripping with sexual tension don’t lie to me. Even I noticed it.”  
  
"Your tongue isn't longer than mine."  
  
"Yeah it ish-" Hinata said, sticking out his tongue.   
  
Komaeda immediately stuck out his tongue as well, and the two of them pulled out their tongues both to measure. Hinata could hear the words  _this is stupid_ flashing in the back of his mind, but he was right his tongue was longer. It was strange, the kind of tangents he could get on with whenever he was together with this utterly unique person. It felt strange, and not strange at all. Talking with him he felt like he was constantly tripping over himself, and struggling to recover, and yet the other boy was like that too. Whatever strange place they ended up they somehow always ended up there together. 

Komaeda felt stupid, sitting on the on the chair the two of them had been sitting together on a moment ago with his black pants pulled down to his ankles. Hinata felt equally stupid, looking up from this angle. He would have predicted Komaeda to start rambling about his death, or to start speaking about how much he wanted to see him shine in this moment, but he liked Komaeda’s quiet and contemplative side too. Komaeda was always saying so much, as if he was afraid to be quiet, that was why Hinata liked his quiet side so much too because Komaeda was only comfortable feeling quiet around him. Suddenly, Komaeda’s fingers reached for his hair, and pulled tight in his short brown hair. If this were the other way around, he would probably feel the tickle of Komaeda’s white hair between his legs. He was thinking of that now, he could not stop himself from thinking of that. He wanted to look up at Komaeda's face in that moment, but he knew if he did, whatever Komaeda's expression was at this moment would probably be stuck in his head forever, and pop up in the middle of the night when he was trying to sleep haunting him like a ghost. The times that he had thought of Hinata and his fingers wandered to the waist line of his boxers, no focus, eyes forward.   
  
Hinata’s thoughts went elsewhere. As he tried to distact himself from what was happening in front of him, perhaps because he could not believe it. He was often confused, especially raound Komaeda’s chaotic thought proess but he did not understand how he got from point a to point b, how he started this day so chaotically wishing to disappear, feeling entirely alone drowning in cold water, and how this moment he felt so warm. His ears were burning. All he could hear, was the sounds the two of them made together.  
  
_Kumagawa had it all wrong._ _  
_ _Komaeda’s not the one with low standards, I am._ _  
_ _I’m a person you could find anywhere._ _  
_ _Doesn’t that mean I’m utterly replaceable?_ _  
_ _Why was I always alone until this point, I asked myself that question again and again but the reason was obvious._ _  
_ _I was afraid since there was nothing unique about me, nobody would be need me._ _  
_ _People need other people, that’s just a fact of life, but are you ever needed specifically?_ _  
_ _What’s the difference between a total stranger hugging a crying person, and a close friend? I don’t get it, because in the same the action is the same. If they’re both normal people lacking distinct features then you could probably mistake them for another._ _  
_ _Everybody is seeking comfort in everybody else._ _  
_ _Ducks  just pair off, because they can’t stand their ugly lives. They give birth to more ducks, hoping by some miracle one of them will turn out to be a swan._ _  
_ _But that’s not true, an ugly duck will never grow up to be a swan._ _  
_ _Even I had surgery to change myself into something else._ _  
_ _But I still remained the same._ _  
_ _Erase everything about me and I stay myself._ _  
_ _Because there was nothing there to begin with._ _  
_ _So, what’s the difference here?_

When Hinata pulled back, Komaeda stood up suddenly as if he had made another decision to do completely the opposite of what he wanted a moment ago. He pulled his boxers back up, but then reached for the bottom of his shirt. He pulled it over his head, and Hinata could see the parts of his flesh that were being hugged too tightly by the waist and of his boxers. Warming up was necessary for this sort of thing apparently, or at least the manga and Komaeda said so.   
  
Komaeda stretched in a feline way, and then reached out and with his long slender fingers wrapped them around Hinata’s wrist. He pulled the other boy forward. He was hoping Hinata would take charge soon, or perhaps he was hoping something would stop them. He could not have too much happiness, because a disaster would fall soon afterwards. But because he had been starving himself for happiness for so long, he could not help but devour everything in front of him. He could only understand things in these extremes, he was either starving or trying to stuff everything in, he was either devouring or being devoured, the normalcy, the middle ground was something he had never even grasped, he could not comprehend it. He led Hinata forward holding linked by his fingers around his wrist. It was odd, if he had never learned Hinata was a reserve course student their positions would probably be reversed even though Hinata clearly had no idea what he was doing. He would be holding his head in Hinata's lap, trying to supplicate him for he barest minimum of god's graces like he was offering something at an altar. Then, what was he doing now? 

“You shouldn’t listen to what Kumagawa says.” Komaeda began, like they were making normal conversation, like this was somehow normal between them. He was particularly good at denying the reality in front of him when he needed to be. It fell from his shoulders and draped off his body like some kind of elegant night gown.   
  
“It’s hard to ignore his voice, because it sounds so much like yours…” Hinata joked, and when his joke did not really land and Komaeda did not laugh at it, he awkwardly laughed at it himself, while the two of them were still there on the bed trying to align their bodies.  
  
“We’re similar but… I’ve finally realized what the difference between me and Kumagawa is. He doesn't know what happiness is, so he ignores all happiness. I keep caring about my happiness so selfishly, don’t you think that makes me a devil?”

 _Say something.. Say something comforting to him, say something tender._ Hinata’s brain screamed, but brain refused to cooperate. “I don’t think… you’re.. You know… your hair is fluffy…” Even though he knew words of comfort would probably mean the entire world to Komaeda he could not bring himself to say it. Yet, he was using Komaeda to comfort himself. It was because he was missing some part of him, lacking that fundamental part that everyone else seemed to have. Even normal people could find some satisfaction with their normal lives, but he could not, and he could not be assed to use that drive to become extraordinary either. He just sat in the middle.   
  
Hinata wanted to forget again, so he pushed himself forward into Komaeda. Even though Komaeda had mostly stripped to this point Hinata was still dressed and he could feel the fabric of his shirt between them, getting in the way of the cool sensation of Komaeda's skin, and rubbing against against him. Friction was supposed to be a good thing, when he read about it in adult novels it always carried a certain allure, but now it was just awkward and in the way. He wanted to remove every barrier between them. He suddenly became so impatient for this, even though he had only decided on it a moment ago.   
  
"Wait, we can't... not here..."  
  
They had not even made it half way against the room when Hinata started to press himself against him. When he started to kiss his face sloppily, like he was a dog trying to gain his affection. If Hinata was a dog, loyal, a good listener, he wondered what that made him. A ram of some kind maybe, he had fluffy white hair, and he was desperate to have his guts be ripped out with a knife and laid at an altar as a sacrifice to those greater than him. Hinata reached for his flat stomach, and tickled his finger along the parts where his ribs were easily felt under his emaciated physique, before his hand went lower and he felt Hinata's thumb brush his stomach while his fingers reach deeper. 

Komaeda backed away from the kisses. "Get on the bed, even a reserve course student can listen to orders, right?"   
  
Hinata batted his eyes as if he were guilty of something. "I was just reaching where it was warm. We can do it anywhere we want, in the manga they did it on the floor." 

His body was almost entirely without blood flow, normally he was not even sure he had veins or if they had just collapsed entirely and his heart beating was merely an afterthought of his body's processes. Yet, all of his blood seemed dedicated to one function at the moment and he felt warmth even on his own body, though it was an uncomfortable and almost painful warmth. It made his hips squirm slightly when Hinata continued to clumsily press against him. "That's just a manga, you shouldn't try to imitate things you read in manga in real life, your brains will be rotten like Kumagawa-kun's, and your back is going to hurt in the morning if we do it there.   
  
He wondered why Hinata sounded so desperate. He probably just wanted to get close to the closest thing he could touch as an Ultimate. He was one step below all other Ultimates after all possessing such a lame talent. He was sure if the situation was reversed, if Hinata had been the Ultimate he thought he was and still continued to pay attention for him, he would have sounded just as desperate, and been lapping up every moment of it. Still, it made it hard to concentrate, Hinata's rough lips pressing against his chin like this. He wondered what kind of person could keep a clear head to think in a moment like this, they had to feel nothing at all.   
  
"You have to do as I say before we can start."  
  
"I will, I will."  
  
"Oh, so the reserve course student can listen after all."   
  
Hinata-kun, his name was Hinata-kun. Even after the other boy had broken down in front of him he still kept lashing out with his tongue with those cruel words. Hinata-kun probably hated it, the feel of his tongue, but he could not help himself because the taste of Hinata-kun was too good, as he turned his head into another kiss to deepen it.  _The taste of Hinata-kun? Really what a lame line..._ Was about all he could think. Apparently, even his self depreciating thoughts were something of a constant even when his brain was threatening to surrender from overheating.   
  
Somewhere between the last few fumbling steps to the bed, Hinata had taken off his button up uniform shirt and jeans. Just a T shirt and a pair of floral printed boxers now, and Komaeda had already made sure to wrench his arm underneath and up Hinata's shirt,to spread his fingers wide on Hinata's stomach to feel that warmth. "You're so warm, Hinata-kun. I don't get it, it's not fair. You're nothing like a star or sun, you're a plain old regular reserve course student so how are you this warm...I want to get so close to you that I feel nothing but warmth...why you...?"  
  
At that moment Komaeda had sweatso much that part of his bangs were slicked by sweat. Their positioning was strange too, as Hinata did not quite get what they were doing yet either, and they had to go slower than Komaeda wanted to. Komaeda steadied himself withone hand against the bed, still holding onto a part of Hinata now like he always wanted to be touching him. 

 _I don't know.  
  
_ He felt Komaeda whisper into his ear. "You must think yourself something special, having an Ultimate even an Ultimate in name only do this to you." 

_I don't think I'm anything._

Hinata really could never tell when Komaeda was dirty talking or when he was just genuinely being like that, being like what? Being like a Komaeda of course. It was so like him. Hinata's thoughts were going in circles, as his body rocked back and forth. 

 _I'm completely ambivalent to everything, and I’ve rotted out to the core and become empty due to my own ambivalence. That’s why, it felt so good when you acted like you needed a person like me around. I’m the one with low standards, I’m sure if anybody had looked at me like I was special, I would have falllen for them too…_ _  
_ _  
_ _But, truth be told I’m glad it’s you._ _  
_ _When I think about how it couldn’t have been you. How we might not have met. Because it’s really all chance after all, there’s no meaning to this world besides random chance you know that more than anybody else._ _  
_ _When I think about how easy it would have been, how in 99 scenarios out of 100 we never met because I’m such an easily replaceable person and it could have been a different empty person that became that test subject. At any point through that tangled path, I could have fallen off._ _  
_ _When I think about that it makes me._ _  
_ _I’m so…_ _  
_ _  
_ Suddenly, tears fell down his face. He was not sad, and yet he was crying. Komaeda stopped, noticing the wet marks in the pillow. Whatever high he was on a moment ago, whatever hormones were racing across his already prone to dysfunctional highs and lows brain, suddenly crashed from the  bliss he was thinking of a moment ago, of the legends of gods, and worship and praise, the heavenly heights his mind climbed too as he thought of higher planes than this one, he fell down, plummeted, and felt himself burning and crash worse than icarus. All of the confidence in his demeanor before disappeared from his face as his mask crumbled, the only thing left, plastered across his face was what he had been hiding all along. A look of pure fear. He was terrified as he reached for Hinata's shoulders and his pale fingers tried to touch the boy, but he felt with each touch he would only make it worse, his dirty hands could only stain marble.   
  
“Hinata-kun, why are you crying? Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I hurt someone. It’s my fault. I… I should have stopped from the moment we meant, I should have died already I…”  
  
“No… it’s not… It’s not because it hurts. I don’t know… I don’t know, Nagito, because I’m empty, and even this didn’t make me feel full.” Hinata suddenly rolled over on his side, away from the other boy. “I’m sorry.” Now he was apologizing, he didn’t even know why. Why were they both apologizing? Didn’t they want to do this? Who even knew between the two of them.  
  
“I… I don’t really care if you’re empty, HInata-kun. Since you’re a reserve course student, I already knew you were a worthless vessel so I don’t care if you’re empty.” Komaeda wrapped his arms around him from behind. What a warm feeling shared between the two of them. Security. He started to think security could be found elsewhere besides hope. What a foolish thought.  
  
“Hinata-kun should just stay Hinata-kun, it’s worthless aspiring to be anything else.” Komaeda breathed, a warm and wet breath into the back of his neck. “If Hinata-kun stayed Hinata-kun, I would be happy.” He knew what happiness was. It was a series of high and lows. It was nirvana. It was peace of mind forever. It was enlightenment. He only felt things in extremes, he only cared for Ultimates, yet something so subtle, so humble as lying next to Hinata made him feel the Ultimate Serenity.   
  
His arms were still shaking, but he wrapped them around Hinata's body as his skinny body curled around the other boy protectively, bending himself in such a crescent that the bones of his spine showed through his skin. He wondered if he would be allowed this, if he could have this one normal boy who could easily be found anywhere. He wasn't taking anything at all,he was essentially taking nothing. He just wanted to keep in his arms a little longer. He knew pulling things closer would only guarantee his luck would target them and they would fall out of his fingers, but if he pushed them away they would disappear regardless so what was he to do? At least while he held onto Hinata-kun like this he could feel warm for now. 

Hinata realized in that moment. _I can’t tell him, then._ Even if he died, he would not tell Komaeda. The boy who had every happiness in life ripped away from him by the wheels of fortune. He would not be the one to take that small happiness left, even if it meant bearing this all alone. He could not tell him that the person named HInata no longer existed, that it happened because he had wished for it.   
  
Pain and pleasure.  
Hurt and comfort.  
It's just the same thing over and over again, driven between these two extreme, I don't understand at all what drives them forward.   
Humans just did the same things over and over again, never learning anything from the process, or maybe they did, who knows, you’re narrator isn’t human just an observer of them.

 


	42. Survival Strategy (2 With x Without You)

A discarded lottery ticket.  
A large inheritance.  
A crashed airplane.  
Smeared blood and smashed brains.  
Papers of daignosis, frontemporal dementia, stage 3 malignant lymphoma.  
The barrel of a revolver.  
An invitation in a letter for Hope’s Peak Academy.  
The corpses of students.  
Funeral portraits.  
These things made up all he was.  
  
Somebody had once said this to him. “Is it because you don’t have anybody to love?”  
  
If that was the case, if it could be boiled down to something much simpler like that then he was sure he would have been a much more sympathetic character. He longed for simplicity, a simple warmth spreading through him, to feel simply satisfied when it was all over that everything he had been through was worth it after all, but there was not a single simple bone in his body. He was made up of so many things, even the list above did not do him justice.

Whatever he was made of though, the individual pieces did not fit together. Even his purest, childhood self, who had never had anything happen to him that could be classified as good or bad luck, still had never been once called beautiful by his mother. He was broken from the start, eerything after had just broken him further.  
  
Cobbled together by junk, held together at the seams by faulty stitches and duct tape in some areas, he truly was trash. Trash was destined to be thrown out he had known that from the start. All he had hoped for, yes, even he had hoped for something he was finally able to admit it to himself. All he had hoped was that he could choose the circumstances in which he was thrown out, in a life without control, beaten back and forth by the whims of fortune, he just craved that tiny amount of control.

He was nothing like Kumagawa Misogi, who never planned anything ahead because he knew things would not go his way. It was precisely because he knew things would not work out in his favor, that he planned ahead anyway.  
  
Somebody had once said this to him. 『What was it that Mikan-chan said to you? That it’s too bad you don’t have anybody to love… something like that. Well, good for you, you’ve finally found somebody to love. Now you can’t go back to the way you were before. Isn’t it more painful this way? Isn’t this the unrequited love you wanted so badly?』

Perhaps it was a cruel thing to say, but Komaeda had said nothing but cruel things to him before that point, and he finally lashed out when he could endure it no longer. Nobody really liked the thorny path of the martyr after all, it was tiring walking the high road.

Kumagawa was a liar by nature, in fact if it turned out his entire existence was a lie and he was an illusion who never existed in the first place, Komaeda would not be angry at such a lame twist he would simply nod his head and say, “That’s fitting for him.’ However, Komaeda found it far more repulsive when Kumagawa told the truth.  
  
That was enough thinking about Kumagawa though, he only had so much time left in this act before the curtain fellhe did not want to waste it thinking of Kumagawa of all people. In the end Kumagawa’s truth was right, there was no going back to the way things were before. He was the one who had ensured that.  
  
A bittersweet ending did not sit well for him, he could only understand things in extremes, in simple black and whites. He would take an ending of total despair, over a mediocre one, because he expected that total despair would eventually be overcome by complete hope.  
  
He was always focused on endings though, surrounded by death as he was there was never a point in his life where he did not think of the end. People say children think they are immortal because they have not realized their looming death yet in the exuberance of youth, but Komaeda could never remember a time where he felt like that. There probably was a time where he was just a normal, oblivious child, but he could not remember that either, those times had faded so far away fromhis memory.  
  
He was looking to the end, he could no go back, he wanted to be in control, and he was a schemer, all of those facts were what made what he was now. Love had little to do with it, that was just Tsumiki Mikan projecting her own obsessions onto others. Love had almost nothing to do with it. It had almost no place in him. He made it that way, he pushed it to the back of his mind.  
  
After all, love and sympathy had not fixed him, and had not redeemed him. That meant still his only redeeming feature was his dedication, his dedication to hope. He tried to forget all else but that. What was he made of? He longed to toss away all those other ill fitting parts that made him up, and simply be made of hope.  
  
Nagito looked at the individual components of his scheme spread across his bedroom floor, several borrowed fireworks, fertilizer, oil, components he had to assemble himself from spare parts because if he was seen with one of them it would quickly alert the others to what he was doing. If he was just seen carrying around random junk though, most would just laugh it off as him being Komaeda. Sometimes it paid to be an eccentric outcast, and to be such an ugly thing that everyone looked away from him on instinct.  
  
He removed the gas mask around his face, reaching back to the strap tied around the back of his head to do so, wanting to breathe uninhibited to clear his head. He did not trust his trembling, weak body with a job so delicate but he had pulled it off somehow. It was probably no skill on his part just his luck making it so nothing happened to spill.

Even when he did succeed at a task he set out to do, his luck often stole away the credit. It was a little annoying.  
  
Just as he was trying to clear the clouds from his head (a pointless task he knew, but even a little more focus would make his task easier) he heard a knock at the door. Quickly, he dropped the gas mask to the floor and kicked it under the bed. There were a few other suspicious materials lying around the room but if he took too long cleaning up Hinata might notice. Nobody else would, but Hinata seemed to notice when he was acting strange, even though he was under the impression that he was always acting strange.

On the other side of the door, Hajime saw the door slowly open and Komaeda’s face appear inside of it. Recently, even after their night together Komaeda had been nothing but hostile towards him. He thoghthe might be able to calm him down if he spent more time with him, but that was a fool’s errand… no, that was mean. To say that Komaeda was so unreasonable that nobody could reach him. He was sure if it had been anybody else, besides a worthless reserve course student who sold both body and soul to the academy he thought he loved, they probably would have been able to help heal Komaeda right now. But, Hinata himself was somebody who could not be fixed even with artificially added talent, so he doubted he could fix anybody else. He was ready to accept that hostility, at least he thought so, he could try...  
  
However, there was no hostility on Komaeda’s face. If anything it looked, what was the word that Komaeda always used, serene. He wondered for a moment if he had ever seen Komaeda look this at ease. Even when they first met, when he thought Komaeda was nothing more than an optimist, who was always smiling and trying to encourage others despite his low self esteem his smile seemed to be a little bit forced. He had no idea what to say to Komaeda making a face he had never seen before, he wondered if he was so happy because Hinata had left him alone the past few days. Was he happier without him? He needed to say something rather than stare with his mouth hanging open.  
  
_Just be cool._ “Hey… d-do you want to hang?”  
  
“Hanging myself? That is an interesting way to die, but won’t this story get tiresome if we reuse murder methods two trials in a row?”  
  
_Fine, be uncool._ “No! That’s not what I meant! Do you want to hang out? Specifically with me. Not with anybody else, but with me. I only want you to hang out with me. I could’ve hung out with Pekoyama but since I wanted to hang out with you and you weren’t around I’ve spent the past few days doing nothing.”  
  
“Don’t you think you’re sharing a bit too much, Hinata-kun? Ehehehehe that’s a little awkward to hear.”  
  
“You’re the last one who should be talking!”

“I’m so happy, you’re asking somebody like me to spend time with you, but I’m busy at the moment…” The same response he had given every day before this one, occasionally he threw in a couple of ‘Hinata-kun is so kind’ or he dragged out another metaphor about how he was trash. He closed the door, before hesitating for a moment only one eye appearing as he spoke, somewhat wistful. “Like you said, you should spend time with Pekoyama-san. I want you to have fun spending time with the others and not worry about me.”  
  
“Since when were you so concerned about me? Hey, I don’t care if you insult me anymore, I’d rather have you be your normal unpleasant self, then start avoiding me while showing a pelasant face.”  
  
Komaeda tilted his head to the side. “No, I was wrong. I shouldn’t have made fun of Hinata-un. Deep down, I always wanted to become a protagonist myself…”

That was probably the closest thing Komaeda would ever give to a genuine apology. He was constantly apologizing for his own existence, and belittling himself so much that it made him apologies seem insincere. Hinata caught it in that moment though, just before Komaeda disappeared inside the door entirely.

 _A main character? Is that what I am?  
_  
He had desired such a thing, but he was sure if he was the main character in a drama he would have shoved his foot in Komaeda’s door as it closed, and crossed the threshold easily, and continued talking to that other boy until they reconciled.  
  
Yet, the threshold was an impenetrable barrier for him. As if this was some kind of video game, and the programmer put up an invisible wall to mark the boundaries where he as the player could and could not go.  
  
He just stood there doing nothing. He was unable to take a single step, or even reach out. He was no main character. His life was not nearly that dramatic.

So, the two of them remained in separate worlds.

 

♛

 

Those two, were in the same world.  
Sometimes it seemed to be a world existing only of the two of them.  
  
As Kumagawa made it back to his cabin which Enoshima Junko had claimed as her own because ‘Medaka-chan would totes kill her, but not in a fun way’ if they had to share the same room for another night, he walked to the side of his bed and gently nudged the cheek of the sleeping princess taking up his entire bed to wake her.

『Wake up, princess. Or should I give you a kiss.』  
  
“I’ll take your lips as an offering, peel them off for me first.”

『That kind of line isn’t meant to be taken so literally! Besides if you’re going to rip off a face then rip off the whole face, don’t do a half assed job.』    
  
“Have you seen my ass? You’re unworthy of even half of it.”

『Oh, I guess you’re right. Anyway, I’m home, princess.』  
  
“You should know by now there’ll never be any place you can ever call home.”

『That’s not how you’re supposed to respond to that line! Don’t you know, it’s my dream to one day have somebody say ‘welcome home’ to me as if they were anticipating the return of even a person like me, a life-long reject like me finding somebody who actually wanted him around.』

“I suppose the best dreams are the ones that are impossible to achieve. There’s a special kind of despair in repressing your desire for something you know you can never have, only for that desire to reassert itself at the worst time possible, and you can die drowning in the despair of knowing all along you longed for something even though you knew you could not have it.”

『There’s a limit to how cruel one can be!』  
  
“Then, I’m going to use my special move! Limit Break!”

『I thought you were a dragon quest girl! What’s with the sudden Final Fantasy reference?』  
  
“I suppose I might have gone too far, just this once.”

『Just this one time? You’ll only admit going too far this one time? I feel like I’ve wasted a once in a lifetime opportunity on stupid banter.』  
  
“So, I’ll do something to make up for it. What is it that you want? Oh, and just so you know that wasn’t an excuse for you to launch into deep self reflection about your character motivations we don’t have time for that.”

Kumagawa hesitated suddenly, looking away as his cheeks reddened.『....................................................』  
  
“Oi, out with it already. We don’t have time for 52 ellipses either.” She snapped at him, ever impatient.

『My name… call my name in a voice filled with affection, like you’re truly happy to see me.』 He said, in a voice that sounded like he was in the middle of a dream.  
  
“Okay.” Junko’s face looked serious, like it had been carved out of stone. In a voice dripping with affection, she said, “Idiot-Kumagawa.”

『I should have known the scorpion couldn’t resist her sting even when it would sink us both. Mixing my name with scum and trash wasn’t enough, you had to go with idiot too!』  
  
“There’s no need to be so dramatic. It was a slip of the tongue.” Junko said, as she let her tongue appear in the corner of her mouth.

『Tongue...』Kumagawa repeated, staring at Junko’s lips, pale because she had not yet put her makeup on this morning.  
  
“Slip and break your neck.”

『Even if that was an accident, that’s just cruel!』  
  
“I’ll slip my hands around your neck and break it.”

『Now you’re not even pretending it’s an accident!』

As a reward for his aggressive straight manning, Junko threw her head back in laughter, her hair falling all around her in golden waves. Kumagawa would never tell another soul this, especially Junko, but he thought her laughter was especially beautiful when she was mocking others. If it was for that sake, he did not mind being the target of her derision.  
  
The two of them had totally lost what they were talking about in the midst of their banter though, so it really was unfortunate for anybody who was overhearing their conversation as well and wanted to know what they were talking about. The two of them had a tendency to be equally directionless, and sometimes that ended up in them going in the same direction.  
  
Junko got up from bed, or rather Kumagawa lifted her in a princess carry and set her down gently on the floor, when she held out her arms and begged him to do so. Those who were used to being spoiled had such lofty expectations for others. He sat on the edge of the bed and watched as she went through her morning routine, reapplying makeup that looked to him like she was putting on an entirely different face, like a mask over her face.  
  
He was watching purely out of interest, to see the tight control Junko exerted over every part of her appearance, everything she did seemed so deliberate, pre-planned. Kumagawa had never encountered anything like that, his life was so chaotic that order was the unpredictable thing. He was not even watching her get dressed for any perverted reasons whatsoever. Well. Perhaps a little bit.  
  
After she had pulled up her hair on both sides, and finished styling in that way in which her hair pigtails seemed to split chaotically, but like a controlled chaos so her appearance could remain on thematic point, she commented without looking away from her reflection. “I don’t think life is dramatic enough.”

『That’s a lot coming from the most dramatic person I know, the drama queen that wanted to end the world because she was bored.』    
  
“Oh, he assumes I’m speaking to him. How presumptuous of him.”

『I’m the only other person in the room?』    
  
“Huh? So you were still here? I didn’t notice, my presence is so enrapturing it drowns everything else out. To think that I’m sharing this room with someone besides myself.”

『Don’t cut me out of the equation so you can have a love story with yourself!』    
  
“Don’t you feel like a third wheel by this point, Misogi?”

『Anyway, what were you talking about...』    
  
“I’m just saying, romances, betrayals, fights, lies, secrets, truths, none of those really unfold the way they should it’s always more exciting and structured in the fictional world than it is the real one. But… it’s pretty boring in the fictional world too… I’m pretty sure we’re just heading towards another anti-climax.”

『Hey, Junko but this world is fake remember? Maybe the real world is senseless but everything here is made up, and it follows a specific structure. The first murder is somebody who seems important, the second reveals a secret, the third is a double murder, the fourth person dies trying to save everyone, and the fifth…tries to break the game.』    
  
“Yeah, key-word tries. I’m sure that will end in another disappointment as well.” She sighed, as she folded her leg and cupped her chin in one hand.  
  
『If you’re worried about our plan failing, you could do some of the work instead of leaving it to me whose going to guarantee failure.』    
  
“Doing some of the work is boring.”

『Fine, do you want to listen to what I found.』    
  
“Listening to you is boring.”

『Now you’re just annoying me on purpose!』  
  
“Being annoying is boring…” She said, but when it looked like Kumagawa was about to break from his role of straight man, she covered her mouth with her hand and giggled. While it was true she would love him just as much broken, probably moreso, she had to be patient and wait until this false world imprisoning both of them broke around them. Even though she was impatient, like a drooling dog after hearing pavlov’s bell, she could wait if it meant savoring more despair later. “Upuppupu, fine fine Misogi. How did your nightly stalking going?”

『I wasn’t stalking! You told me to follow Nagito-chan around and I haven’t been able to sleep properly all week because I’ve been up all night following him.』     
  
“But, without your lingering miasma of a presence in this room I’ve slept wonderfully.”

『Don’t tell me you just gave me useless busy work to get rid of me!』    
  
“Still, it will be an interesting kind of despair hearing the thoughts of a stalker. Do you know Misogi, most stalkers are convinced they’re actually protecting the people they’re stalking?”

『I wouldn’t know that because I’m not a stalker, anyway the spear went missing from Nezumi Castle...』  Kumagawa described what he had seen Koameda doing, and the materials he had seen him gathering. Kumagawa and Junko had both made themselves scarce the past week, which meant Hinata explored the fifth island already without them. If they were not already natural born outsiders, they might have noticed they were being ostracized from the rest of the group still lamenting Hitoyoshi Zenkichi had died saving them of all people.  
  
When he was finished describing to her Komaeda’s activities, she tilted her head to the side. “So, what do you think?”

『My thoughts don’t matter, they’re too stupid to matter.』    
  
“Who told you that, Misogi?”

『You. Constantly.』    
  
“That was just me, tsundering.”

『Don’t make up verbs on the spot to try to make your terrible personality seem cutesy.』  
  
“What you think is bound to be interesting, so, tell me your thoughts.”

『I don’t know why you keep saying I’m so interesting recently… it’s like you latched onto that idea...』  Kumagawa ran a hand through his black mop of shaggy hair for a moment, unlike Junko’s it was chaotic on accident rather than on purpose because he barely took care of it. 『He’s probably relying on us to throw the canisters, because Nagito-chan can face death but he doesn’t have the guts to kill himself.』    
  
“Why is that?”

『Because I don't like it. What about you?』  

“I don't like or dislike it, it's just nothing. Live or die it's just all nothing. Well, I guess I'm weird because I happen to think nothing at all of the fact that I was born and given life, but you guys are weird too. I don’t get either of you weirdoes.”

『Don’t throw your cannister at all, and I’ll switch out my and Hajime’s cannisters just before we throw them. That way… it was be Hajime-chan who kills Nagito-chan. His brain’s already pretty broken at this point, but that will probably break the last shard that was remaining.』    
  
“And then I wake up the sleeping prince Kamukura-senpai, with true love’s kiss.”

『Hey, hey, hey, don’t kiss anybody besides your boyfriend!』    
  
“And then I wake up the sleeping prince Kamukura-senpai, with true love’s despair.”

『Hey, hey, hey, don’t send anybody into despair besides your boyfriend.』  

Enoshima Junko sighed, her false peppy demeanor and fun loving energetic personality seeming to escape from her as she let the sigh loose from her lips. The same way Kumagawa showed his most miserable side to her, she showed her most bored, remote, and apathetic side to him. She walked over with absolutely none of the usual girlish spring in her step and sat down on the bed next to him. She had changed out of the pajama pants she wore to sleep and into her usual outfit by this point. Junko leaned her head against his shoulder, asking in a voice without emotion. “Are you sure about this? You’ll be picking me over your friends again, and you know I’ll never choose you.”

『Are you trying to rub it in?』  
  
“Yes, but also I want to now what you’re thinking. I’m curious. Gimme, gimme.” She swung her legs that hung off the side of the bed not quite reaching the floor, kicking them like a child.  
  
Kumagawa reached forward and laid his hand over hers. 『I already told you not to ask questions you already know the answer to. Even if this whole island were to betray you, and even if you betray the whole world, I’ll always be on your side.』  
  
“Oh, what a dramatic promise.” Junko said, as a smile teased on her lips. “My world might be a drama after all.” She said.  
  
_As long as you remain in my world._ _  
_ A thought she would never speak, but because of it, because he was interesting those two remained in the same world.

 

 ♛

 

_Looks like it’s starting to get dark…_

After another day spent with Pekoyama, Hinata Hajime had walked home and finally started ot get settled when the doorbell suddenly rung.

“Hello? Is somebody there?”

_I knew it was probably someone like Pekoyama… or maybe Pekoyama… man I don’t have that many friends do I? Why did I think I was a main character again?_

He was nervous, and mumbling to himself again. Apparently even though he had let go of the idea of being a main character, he still had a habit of narrating to himself. As he walked towards the door, it had suddenly opened and there was a boy standing in his room right in front of the rows of Monokma statues on a display stand that Hajime had meticulously collected. The only decoration in his room that could be described as even remotely abnormal, besides the abnormal boy who had just walked in, of course.

“Why hello there, Hinata-kun.” Komaeda said with a relaxed smile on his face, the same one he had seen the first few days they knew each other.  
  
“N-nagito!?”

_Wh-why..? Why is he here?_

“You… what are you doing here?”  
  
“You sure ask weird questions.” Komaeda blew him off. “I mean… you’ve been asking me all week, and you guys all have business with me, right?”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Kirigiri-san invited me to the lobby. She said she had something she wanted to talk to me about. Everyone put her up to that, right? Or perhaps she’s exercising her authority as the Ultimate Detective and finally taking the lead now that the mystery is about to be solved.”  
  
“...? What? I don’t know what you’re talking about!”  
  
“Looks like… that’s a bing, huh? It’s okay you don’t have to pretend to be clueless.”  
  
“I’m not pretending I’m genuinely clueless!”

“Wow, you’re a really convincing actor when you want to be, HInata-kun.” Koameda said, crossing his arms and smiling fondly, as if he were genuinely proud.  
  
Perhaps Hinata would know what was going on if he had talked to the others in the past week like a proper main character, but besides Pekoyama who went out of her way to spend time with him he had spent most of his time lying in his room and staring out the window. For some reason he found watching the shadows elongate throughout the day and then shorten in the evening to be oddly interesting. Sometimes he sat on the edge of the beach and watched the waves crash in the shore over and over again and that was just as interesting.  
  
“Well, it’s good timing. I had some business with you guys too.”  
  
“You do?”  
  
“If everybody’s gathering at the lobby that saves me some time. And… I want you to come to the lobby too, even though you’re not directly involved with the plan…”  
  
“I’m kind of irrelevant at this point. You know… just a side character, not secret hidden twists here just an anticlimax, and a reveal that I was boring all along.”  
  
“Just as I thought… They intentionally left you out, huh. But that’s understandable.” He raised his finger to the side of his head and twisted it up in one of his stray white curls, thinking. “Since you’re the only one who isn’t an Ultimate, you’ve basically been left out from the start.”  
  
“Yep, that’s me…”  
  
“I’m only joking. You don’t have to agree with me, I’ll feel bad otherwise. If you think about it, it’s kind of cruel, a lowly being like me mocking anyone at all.”  
  
“N-no, it’s fine. It was funny. I’m just a reserve course student, haha!” _We haven’t talked in a week now it’s all awkward. We’re never going to have a reunion of our famous two man comedy duo now._ _  
_ _  
_ “Why are you saying that? You shouldn’t take me so seriously. Oh well… anyway let’s hurry over to the lobby. I don’t know the details of the plan, so I’m actually looking forward to it. I wonder what you guys are going to do next. When we first arrived at this island, we were friends who explored this place together! So let’s go already.”

“Fine… let’s go.”

“...Yeah.” Komaeda hesitated for a moment. “Your eyes…”  
  
“What about my eyes?” _Is he going to say they’re beautiful? I’m not ready for that kind of compliment._ _  
_ _  
_ “They’re all red… bloodshot… have you been sleeping lately?”

 _I got my hopes up for nothing._ Hinata said, as he looked down. Perhaps his eyes had turned a shade redder, but he had no idea what that had to do with anything. It was probably because he was tired… yes… it was not foreshadowing any particular kind of transformation.

For a moment Hinata wondered if Komaeda had started thinking of when they first met recently. He had been doing the same, though he wondered why. Life was not so dramatic after all, it was not the kind of case where people flashed back to the beginning right before they reached the end.  
  
It was not the end.  
He would not let it be.  
He shut that thought out of his mind as he walked Komaeda to the hotel lobby. If the others had some kind of plan against him, then he would just protect him. He was sure if things got too bad, his other side would wake up just like in an anime where the main character unlocked a hidden power at last moment to protect their loved ones.

If things went like that he might even get a happy ending. Komaeda might even smile for real for once, knowing there was somebody who actually wanted to protect him. In other words Hinata’s head was in the clouds, it was almost entirely empty at the moment as he had been forcing himself not to think all week.  
  
When they finally arrived however, they were ambushed.  
  
They were both ambushed by the sight of Junko and Kumagawa who had already been ambushed. Pekoyama was holding onto Kumagawa, and Kurokami held tightly onto Junko.

“Neither of you move. We’re going to tie you up for the remainder of the game. Try not to Judge us too harshly, not that the judgements of a criminal matter anyway.” Kirigiri Kyoko standing in between them as the clear leader of the plan gave the chilly command.  
  
『Eh? What is this? You guys are distrusting the lovable and cute me? I thought I was more popular than this.』    
  
“Well, that’s how it is Misogi.” Junko said, looking forward at Kyoko with her contact covered colorless eyes. “Somebody whose an ally to justice will eventually betray all of their friends, because their loyalty is to justice alone.”  
  
“We were never friends, and you should talk about betrayal!” Kirigiri said. “It’s obvious, even if you weren’t the mastermind this time around you masterminded a previous game and the only one loyal to you left is Kumagawa-kun so he must be the traitor. Otherwise all of his out of place knowledge of future events makes no sense.”

『Wait! No, no, no, I don’t want to be tied up. I’ll betray Junko and tell you guys everything just let me go, I don’t want to be a friendless loser!』    
  
“Oi, what happened to I’ll never betray you!”

『You should know everything I say is a lie by now! I thought your thing was learning really fast!』    
  
Komaeda realized in that moment, he was just an audience member to this moment, watching from the sidelines instead of being at the center as he thought he would be. As he had been preparing this entire week for.  
  
Before he could speak up, suddenly Ikusaba Mukuro rushed in. “Wait! Don’t tie up Misogi-chan, he didn’t do anything wrong!”  
  
“He in fact did several things wrong…” Kirigiri Kyoko assessed in an emotionless voice.  
  
“Well yeah but… I still like him.” Mukuro did not have a good enough counter argument for that. She had never been good with speaking with others in the first place.

『...Awe.』  
  
“Hey, what about me! Didn’t you rush all the way out here to defend me too!?” Junko’s pettiness and need for attention caused her to break down when she had been completely calm a moment ago.  
  
“Oh yeah, and the other one too. You shouldn’t hurt her, I guess…” Mukuro said, averting her eyes and looking out the window.  
  
“Hey, I’m not the other one!”  
  
“Enoshima Janko-chan.”  
  
“Don’t mispronounce my name on purpose! And why are you using -chan, when we’re family.”

Komaeda’s planned scene was quickly becoming a farce because of the introduction of those two. Those spotlight stealers. Kirigiri had only just now noticed their entry. “You two, cooperate with us please. It’ll be easier to route out the truth with our biggest obstacles out of the way.”  
  
The first and second biggest obstacles. That meant he was only third, bronze, a consolation at best. Komaeda sighed, letting his gaze fall down towards his feet. “You guys are really disappointing… How long are you going to continue behaving so shortsightedly? You got to look at the big picture you know.”

Of the three present, Kirigiri, Kurokami, and Pekoyama, only the latter understood him well enough to notice something was off. “Huh…? What’s wrong, my classmate, Komaeda?” She asked politely.  
  
“It’s fine if you don’t understand… You can just see the end without knowing, because you were looking in the wrong direction. Now then, let’s begin! The beginning of the end of Jabberwock Island!”

And that’s when it happened.  
Out of the corner of his eye, Hajime Hinata saw a bright light.  
The air shook.  
At the same time, as they were silhouetted by the approaching bright light Kumagawa Misogi and Enoshima Junko smiled at this turn of events.  
An explosion of darkness overtook him and he was unable to see anything.  
He probably lost consciousness.  
  
Shortly after the impact, he managed to open his eyes slightly.  
He craned his neck around to see where Komaeda had went, he knew the boy was so much frailer than him and instantly worried about him. The last thing he could remember seeing were those smiles that would not leave his mind.  
  
“Wh-what’s… going… on?” Are words that left his mouth but they vanished before they had ever reached his ears. He thought he could just sit around this time, he thought that nothing more would happen on this island now that Zenkichi had sacrificed himself and everybody mourned his death. No, he had even thought he was uninvolved in this narrative, that nothing dramatic happened. Then suddenly, everything had happened at once and he had been a mere bit player to all of it.  
  
Whatever thoughts he had were drowned out by the sound of terrifying laughter. He looked up and saw the source of the laughter. Silhouetted by the flame, his skin finally given some color by the orange light covering him, Komaeda Nagito laughed as his hair whipped back and forth. “Ahahahahahahahaahahahaahahahahahahaha! It’s amazing! These amazing fireworks surely befit the beginning of the end! It’s over. This is the end. The killings are done for good! I’ll make sure Hitoyoshi-kun’s sacrificed himself the end of the killing game. All of this self-righteous hypocrisy will end now. And to do that… I will destroy Jabberwock island.”  
  
“Wh-what do you mean?”  
  
“This was just a little demonstration. That’s why it’s the beginning of the end. The actual bomb I’m going to use isn’t nearly as weak.”  
  
“A-actual bomb?” Hinata was so hollow, so rattled and broken at the moment that the narrator will not even make their running gag about how often Hinata just repats the last thing the person said back to them in the form of a question.  
  
Komaeda’s fingers grasped at empty air, his hand looked especially empty like a sieve everything he touched would fallout of it, and his fingers curled into ugly shapes. “I started the killing game, I killed Hitoyoshi-kun’s friend so he could taste betrayal, and then this game devour all of our greatest hope, but that was not enough. I’ve set up a large number of bombs in a certain area of this island. If all those bombs explode… Everything… It will make everything go away!”

Komaeda suddenly fell forward as if his strings had been cut, his fingers grasped at himself curling around the folds of his coat. His body was so thin at this point, his clothes looked like they were hanging off of a skeleton, and the shadows all over his body did everything to emphasize how near death he looked. Hinata could not even feel fear that Komaeda himself was going to kill them at this moment, he looked like nothing more than a messenger that had arrived on a pale white horse to remind them of their inevitable deaths. “Of course, I dobut we’ll walk away from this unharmed… but there’s no other way. The actor is expected to leave the stage during the finale.”  
  
“Y-you really are nothing like Makoto…” Kirigiri mumbled, regaining herself first.

Kumagawa and Junko who always had something witty to say in every situation, remained oddly silent.  
  
Kurokami’s eyes which looked especially dead glared at him. “You think I’ll let the island that Zenkichi died to protect go so easily.”  
  
When everybody else was focused on Komaeda, except for Mukuro who had crawled over to check on Kumagawa, it was Pekoyama who made her way to Hinata’s side to lift him up over her shoudler. “You could have hurt my friend, Hajime…”  
  
Hinata noticed that Pekoyama did not describe him as Komaeda’s friend. Well… after all this time that was probably still true, Komaeda had never once called them friends, and he had not seen this coming at all.  
  
“No… that’s… not it. I’m not the enemy her… The one who’s really the enemy is…” Komaeda said, suddenly looking at a loss for words for once.  
  
“My, my, this guy…” Monokuma suddenly appeared, surveying the dangers of the restaurant. “This is supposed to be shocking right? Should I be shocked? Is this supposed to be shocking? It’s always the same with you really, every single time.”  
  
“I’ve prepared these bombs to go off in two days at nooon. Which means, this island will sink into the sea in two days at noon.”  
  
“Are you serous?”  
  
“Do you really think I’d go this far for a joke?”  
  
“Wh-where did you set em up?”  
  
“Mmmm… I can’t tell you. It’d be easy to leave you on your own, but it just wouldn’t be fair if I did that! So how about this? If the traitor comes forward and reveals their identity to me, I’ll tell them where I hid the bombs.”  
  
“...Huh?”

『...』    
  
“As long as the traitor comes forward, this can all be resolved peacefully… After all the tim we’ve spent together I believe in you guys. And more than anything.. I believein my Ultimate Luck. So it’s definitely going to be alright.”  
  
After all of that Nagito walked away.  
He just walked away.  
Hinata reached out his hand, and reached for his blurry image but he could not stop him.  
He was afraid.  
Afraid that he once again had failed to understand Nagito.  
He had checked on him every single day this week, but never once caught a hint of this.  
THe madness emanating form Nagito’s body seeped into his bones. He had never expected this from him, to go this far, he had never even understood him once. Hinata merely laid his head against Pekoyama’s shoulder using her to support himself as he could not even bring himself to hold his head up anymore.  
  
“Puhuhuhuhu! You can always count on Nagito to shake things up! I don’t even have to give a motive this round to get you lazy children to stop pretending this is a romcom.” In the background, Monokuma patted his belly in satisfaction. A baeary cute gesture if this narrator does say so herself.  
  
“He’s serious enough about those bombs to even put Hajime’s life at risk…” Pekoyama assessed. If Hinata were not in such a mood, he might have noticed that Pekoyama was much more concerned for the risk to HInata’s life with no mention of her own.  
  
“Then, we just need the traitor to come forward. Confess already, Enoshima, or Kumagawa-kun we all know it’s you…” Kirigiri got to her feet once more straightening her long lilac hair with her fingers. It had been rendered slightly frizzy by the explosion and somehow an open cup ramen that had been left lying around landed on her head. She batted it off with her hand and then pretended it was never there. Even an explosion could not rock her expression carved from stone.  
  
While everyone else looked completely defeated, Enoshima Junko got to her feet looking especially jazzed and re-energized by the explosion. She danced around in place for a moment. “Yesssss! This is the explosive drama I was looking for… but, you know waiting two whole days for the big bang sounds super boring. Being patient just isn’t my style. How about I tell you guys where he hid them now?”

Kirigiri stood up, glaring her down. It looked like a match between destined rivals in shonen manga, or at least that was how Kumagawa would describe it.  
  
“Why would we trust literally anything you say?”  
  
“Well, you either leave yourself at my mercy, or at Komaeda’s. Pick your poison.”  
  
“You said you wanted it all to end in a fiery explosion.”  
  
Flippantly, Junko looked at her nails to avoid eye contact with her sworn rival. “Yeah, but losing to Komaeda-senpai of all people? Being defeated by him my one sided rival that I simply used and discarded? That’s not even worth despair, lame, lame, lame.”  
  
Kirigiri no matter how long she thought about it would never be able to wrap her head around Enoshima Junko’s twisted logic.

『If we sit around doing nothing, Nagito-chan will be disappointed. He’ll probably say something like ‘true hope comes from when you confront a hopeless situation head on’. In fact, if this were a shonen manga I’d probably say the exact same thing. Well, I’ve endured a lot of explosions so it’s no big deal I’ll go look even if nobody else is.』  

Out of all of them the most likely to be the traitor, Kumagawa Misogi was the first to move. Hinata Hajime, the person closest to Komaeda had not been able to move, or stand on his own. He still heard his heart beating in his ears, and still leaned on his weight against Peko. Peko, who was supporting him even though she had lost much more than he ever had, her entire reason for living in Fuyuhiko. If he lost Komaeda, he knew he’d never be as strong as Peko.  
  
“Hey, Medaka-chan. Are you okay with that? Of doing nothing to keep living when Hitoyoshi-kun gave himself up to protect us?” Junko sank her teeth into Medaka, who was the least harmed from the explosion. If she was at 100% she probably could have searched all of the islands in less than a day, but her friends were her strength after all. Apparently she had meant that, instead of just stating it as a generic shonen platitude.  
  
She got to her feet and dusted herself off, though she was so immaculate almost no dust or debris had even landed on her. “Fine then, let’s follow Junko. If she betrays us, I’ll just punch her.”  
  
“You don’t need to worry, Medaka-chan! I don’t plan on betraying you, I mean, you’ve already lost everything haven’t you?” Junko could not resist, even though they were on a limited time frame. There was a feast in front of her.  
  
Kumagawa had already started to walkforward ahead of them, and they soon followed him. Casually, Enoshima Junko stretched her hands behind her head. “It has to be somewhere we’ve never been before, that’s obvious. Nobody likes games that force you to backtrack on old levels because the designers were too lazy to design new places.” Junko said.

 

 ♛

  
  
The first place they stopped was Nezumi castle.  
The castle was completely empty, except for an inscriptionon the floor.  
  
To all of you idiots:  
The password to guide you morons to the future is “.....”  
The part with the ellipses had been scratched up by several screw like marks.  
Apparently the message had been left by a particularly abrasive personality.  
  
Kurokami Medaka immediately grabbed Enoshima Junko by the collar, lifting her up into the air to the point where her heels no longer even touched the ground. “We gave you a chance and the first thing you told us was a lie.”  
  
“What happened to the Medaka-chan who said, ‘I’ll always believe in the people I like even if they lie to me a thousand times.’ Where did she go?” Junko said, throwing her voice in a perfect imitation of Medaka.  
  
“I’m not like that anymore, and I don’t like you.”  
  
“What are you like even? You should just decide on a character already, while you hesitate look how everybody is suffering…” Junko really could not help herself, the girl in front of her was so delicious. Even if Medaka snapped and broke her neck by just flexing her fingers, she would not regret it. She could not regret it. However when she saw Kumagawa’s worried face, she sighed. “No need to be miss priss as usual, Medaka-chan. I was just buying time for Komaeda-senpai to set up his trap.”  
  
“Why would you make it so we walk straight into a trap?” Medaka said, shaking Junko’s body which simply dangled from her hand.  
  
“Well obviously-”

『It’s more interesting that way.』 Kumagawa finished her sentence for her, already turning on his heel and shoving his hands in his pockets, one injured horribly and one still in tact shrugging off how painful that gesture looked as he walked ahead of all of them. 『You won’t act in a way that shames your friends, right Medaka-chan? So. Let’s not put all the hard work Nagito-chan made setting up that stage for us to shame.』  
  
Hinata heard Kumagawa’s footsteps disappearing ahead of him. Out of everybody in the castle, he was the last to leave. Only doing so when Pekoyama came back for him and grabbed him by the wrist tugging him forward.  
  
Komaeda…  
Was seriously trying to kill them all?  
He had no seen it coming.  
  
Those ideas were still going back and forth in his head. Selfishly though, he was not worried about everybody else. He had felt it ever since Zenkichi disappeared, and Komaeda’s increasing hints of his own suicide that his goal was to provoke somebody finally to murder him and force him to become a stepping stone to their hope like he had always wanted.  
  
Everybody else was in danger, and he was worrying about Komaeda’s life quite selfishly. He felt if he did a single thing wrong, Komaeda would end this scenario dead. Therefore, he was afraid to even do a single thing. He had retreated completely into his own head, and even his companion Kamukura would not talk to him. He probably thought his other self was just too pathetic for words. Some main character he turned out to be.

_All this thinking makes me feel like I should do something but...Horrible, disgusting images begin to surface from be back of my mind one after another. Before I could focus on the specifics of those images, all I can think of is what would happen if any of those things happened to Komaeda…  
_

_If I called Komaeda my light, he would laugh at me that’s for sure. However without him I’m sure… this island would be nothing but darkness… it would be **so boring.**_

“We should split up if you’re not going to tell us exactly where they are!” Kirigiri said, raising her voice but still managing to keep her calm in the situation.  
  
“Yeah, splitting up that’s never what gets the teenagers killed in the slasher movie. You think the detective would realize what’s the worst idea in her genre…” Junko yawned, before walking ahead of all of them with her hands behind her head casually once more. _“_ Okay, that should have given him enough time. He probably realized that since I’m here you guys wouldn’t just run around like stuffed bears with their heads cut off mindlessly reacting to everything instead of thinking ahead, oh I’m sorry like a bunch of protagonists.”

 

 ♛

 

“Eeeeee! Near the Monokuma Plushie factory! I’ve always wanted to visit here, but I’m dating a total loser who never wants to take me anywhere.”

『You were the one who made me run errands for you all week!』

They all arrived together at the same time instead of splitting up. Hinata wondeed if this is what Komaeda wanted everybody uniting together against him, though they were working together with the two worst people to accomplish it.

But if that was what Komaeda wanted he would fight against it with every fiber of his being. He could not stand the idea of Komaeda becoming this island’s villain. If that happened he would be left all alone. It’s too bad there was almost nothing to his being, and all he had done was lag behind at the back of the crowd. He probably would not have even been able to reprise his role as the guy who repeated things back in the form of a question right now, he was so out of it.  
  
When they arrived in the factory, they saw a truck with several epxlosives piled in the back. It’s engine was connected to a strange device that looked like a scanner, by several makeshift wires.

“Whoaaaaa, where did he even find that model of bomb on this island. It’s super rare. I wasn’t even able to get my hands on any back in school.” The military otaku, Ikusaba Mukuro was the first to speak up confirming they were in fact bombs.  
  
“Well, my despair inducing military otaku sister of mine, do you think you can disarm those bombs if you’re such a fan?” Junko said, pointing out the bombs hidden exactly where she said they would be.

“Did you guys hear the wind blowing right now? It sounded particularly high pitched, attention hungry, and annoying.” Ikusaba Mukuro said, once again gazing into the distance anywhere except for Enoshima Junko was standing.  
  
“Ikusaba-san, this isn’t the time for sibling rivalry! Tell us what to do next!” Kirigiri took control again. She was not the leader type, and in trying to act like one she was sure she put a lot more exclamation points on the end of her sentences in the past few hours then she had the rest of her life combined.  
  
“The bombs are set up so that when the engine stops running, the insulator will blow off and trigger the explosion. It’s impossible… I don’t have enough time. The main detonator is in this bulky metal box and welded shut.”  
  
“Well, leave it to my flaky ass sister. Useless as usual.”  
  
“Did you guys hear that? I didn’t know the wind was so loud and needy today, perhaps there’s a storm coming.” Ikusaba Mukuro moved towards the truck. “It’s fine, I’ll drive it into the sea. Oh… wait no that’s impossible, there’s a chain around the wheel. There goes my heroic moment.”  
  
“Disappointing as usual.”  
  
“That wind just won’t let up today.”

“Jeez, are you guys this stumped by the fact that somebody spent time to think ahead and try to anticipate our movements a little bit? No wonder destroying your school was so easy.” Enoshima Junko yawned, looking like she was seriously considering just letting everyone blow up as that became a more interesting alternative.

Kirigiri immediately started to look around. Detectives were responsive by nature, they did not create situatiosn they solved them. She finally noticed the oddities, the machine, and the laptop sitting on the conveyor belt. The moment she touched a single key, a video started playing.  
  
Hinata raised his head finally when he recognized the person that was onscreen. Komaeda was smiling at all of them.

『Oh, is this a skype call?』Kumagawa said, tilting his head to one side in an imitation of Junko.  
  
“Why hello everyone. Great work.. Now then, now that you guys have found the bombs all you need to do is stop it. To tell you the truth, it’s not actually that hard to do. You see, there’s a card reader on top of the metal box. As long as you scan an e-handbook you can disarm the bombs. However…! It won’t work with just any student handbook. If you want to disarm the bomb, you have to use the traitor’s student handbook. To be honest… I found out who the traitor was after secretly monitoring everyone’s activity. But… I was a little annoyed that they never came forward. So if things stay that way it looks like I lost right? I don’t want to be like Kumagawa. So I was thinking I’d have another battle. So this is going to be your last chance traitor, everyone’s life depends on you… WHether or not you save them is up to you. Now then, I wonder how this is going to end? Will the traitor’s identity finally be revealed?”  
  
“Nagito! Hey, Nagito quit monologuing and listen! Quit this whatever you’re doing, it’s not going to end how you want it too, you’re just going to get hurt. There’s nothing good that can come from your death, and besides… besides I…” Hinata said as he rushed forward away from Pekoyama in a sudden burst of speed and grabbed the edges of the laptop trying to talk to it.  
  
Enoshima Junko tilted her head to the side. “Dude, it’s obviously a pre-recorded message. He just anticipated our responses and timed out and scripted this all ahead of time. It’s like masterminding 101.”

『Well, it’s fine right. All the world’s a stage so we have no choice but to play our part and follow the script or whatever narrative metaphor we’re using this week. If we scan our handbooks, then our names will be cleared Junko so let’s just...』

However as soon as Kumagawa began to speak cooperatively, the only person who noiced his cahnge in demeanor was Kurokami Medaka. Quickly he summoned a screw and drove it right into the E-Card reader destroying it in a shower of sparks. 『Just kidding! This is what I think of your trap, Nagito-chan!』  
  
“What are you doing? We could all die.” Kirigiri said, staring at the incomprehensible Kumagawa as he kicked the e-handbook reader aside.

『Then die please.』Kumagawa said, a pleasant smile on his face as he turned around and drove another screw straight into the car engine. Behind him suddenly, several small explosions went off.  
  
The kind of climactic explosive ending that Ensohima Junko had been waiting for. Except, they were just a series of small fireworks. She sighed, emotion draining out of her body once again as she muttered in a neutral tone. “I should have expected that, yet another anti-climax. Life isn’t a drama after all.”

『Sorry, Junko! I really did try hard to screw things up for everyone so the island would blow up.』Kumagawa said, sounding earnest in his apology, but his honesty just further creeped out everyone around him.  
  
All the other normal characters really were stuck between two sets of devils, Komaeda’s destructive hope, and Kumagawa and Junko’s all devouring despair. Suddenly, Komaeda’s face appeared on the laptop again, but before Hinata could eagerly listen to what Komaeda was saying, Kumagawa threw another screw straight through the laptop screen. 『Really, Nagito-chan you’re such an attention hog. No matter how hard you try though, you can’t out drama-queen my beloved Junko.』  
  
“Hey, what the hell are you doing? How are we supposed to know what was going on?” Hinata said, as he grabbed Komaeda by the lapels of his suit pulling him forward. He had no energy a moment ago, and now he was ready to throttle the other. Perhaps it was the image of Komaeda’s face being smashed so carelessly that energized him like this. It was the last thing he ever wanted to see.  
  
Enoshima Junko sighed. “Gosh you guys, masterminding 101. How many death games have you even been through, zero?”

『I’ve been through quite a few, actually.』  
  
“Quit lying, Misogi.”

『From now on, when my words appear in red it will be the truth.』  
  
“Don’t start that kind of gimmick now, that’d be way too difficult to format! Anyway, Komaeda-senpai would only use a pre-recorded message if he wanted to watch us from nearby while the results unfolded but trick us into thinking he was somewhere far away. He’s obviously close, probably even in this same building if there’s a back room or something.” Enoshima Junko sighed. “Goooosh, you guys are so dumb. No wonder the mastermind didn’t even bother to erase your memories he probably didn’t even need to, you guys literally have female Kamukura with you and you’re still having Komaeda-senpai of all people give you the run around.”  
  
They all ignored her whining though and quickly fanned out in search of the building. There was only one door they had left unexplored.

The moment they opened the door however, the entire room burst into flames.

 

 ♛

 

Hitoyoshi Zenkichi was dead.  
Komaeda Nagito had lived.  
It was a farce. A joke. If his entire existence had been one prolonged joke, than this would be the punch line. However, Komaeda who was always laughing did not find it to be particularly funny. He had never been particularly good at expressing himself, but whenever he thought about the image of Zenkichi’s body sitting there, his feet not touching the floor one word immediately jumped to mind.

 _Wrong. Wrong._ _  
_ _Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong._ _  
_ _Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong._ _  
_ _Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong._ _  
_ _Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong._ _  
_ _Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong._ _  
_ _  
_ His entire life he had accepted, whatever card it was chance seemed fit to deal to him. There was no choice after all, but to play with the cards you had been given. The talented were given better cards than most, but you could still play even with a poor hand. He had always believed that, that was why he worked so hard to leverage everything to his advantage, so even somebody with empty hands like him could be of use to others.  
  
No matter what came his way he would accept it with a smile. He accepted everything, like a wind sock with no bottom, or a sieve, he never confronted a single thing and simply lived his life accepting everything he could.  
  
Because if he had ever confronted a thing, if he had every seriously thought about what he had been forced to endure he knew he would break into pieces. He would not shatter like beautiful glass either, he would break into ugly shards that dug deep into the flesh and hurt others. Perhaps he was already broken and just deluding himself otherwise, that would explain why no matter who touched him they always cut themselves on his edges no matter how careful they were. Until everybody around him stopped trying to touch him all together.  
  
He began this day by musing what materials he was made of. By the end he had decided,it was glass, definitely glass, the only thing he could do now was break. It was all he was ever capable of. He had been able to accept every terrible thing that had happened so far in his life, as long as he had that narrative that hope was supposd to win.  
  
The truth was he believed life to be much more dramatic than it actually was. Even if he could never see himself as a main character, he could seize what little agency he could, he could bring about an ending where they would all smile without him. He thought that would be enough, that would be something he would be satisfied with.  
  
However, Kumagawa’s words hissed into his ear, coiling on the inside of his body like a snake that refused to leave him. He would never be satisifed. That was true enough. Zenkichi’s death showed him as much. He was sure, whatever hope that came afterwards would never be able to replace Zenkichi. There was nothing in this world that could make up for the wrong that was Zenkichi’s death.  
  
He should have been the one to die instead of Zenkichi, because if that had happened everybody would still be able to smile. He knew that for sure, because nobody would miss someone like him. That was why he had always offered himself. He knew he would be okay, just if he could see those smiles.  
  
But…  
He had reached an ending that he could not smile at.  
He did not particularly care anymore, for drama or narratives. He just wanted it to be over with. If he ended it all, he was sure this feeling would go away from inside of him.  
  
This disappointment.  
Disappointment was not despair, it was just emptiness. He was hollowed out by that feeling. No amount of hope could fill him up from now on, he was sure.  
  
Or perhaps there was never any hope for him to begin with. That had just been his delusion all along. Ah… was he close to realizing it? To breaking his delusion? These big revelations always seemed to come the moment before death.  
  
He had taken careful care to tie up all three of his limbs and leave one free. He was surprised he had been given the time to do so, considering Junko was among them and would figure out his plan much more quickly than everyone else. He was happy though, he had made it this far there was no turning back.  
  
All this time, he had rocked back and forth but the moment he decided to accept his death finally he felt strangely at ease. He had even been able to give Hinata a genuine smile. He hoped Hinata would remember that expression, even if he died living in the memory of another.  
  
THat was probably too much to hope for. He had just said he ran out of hope.  
  
With his one free hand, he picked up duct tape and put it over his mouth. He should have thought of this earlier, if he had covered his mouth all the time it would have prevented him from saying so many harmful things. Too little too late it seemed. He reached and grabbed Mukuro’s combat knife by the handle, and dramatically held it up int he air for a moemnt in anticipation.  
  
Then, he drove it straight into his leg. He wanted to scream right away in agony and give up. He thought he had endured much worse pain then this, he thought he was numb to pain, he thought he had accepted death, but suddenly his entire body was alive writhing with it. He wanted to scream out, but his mouth had already been taped shut. He screamed empy against the inside of the tape.  
  
For a moment he prayed to god that the tape would break and somebod would hear him. That somebody would figure out his scheme and save him from this. It was too much, he could not save himself.  
  
But…  
That was a stupid thing to pray for.  
And he had never needed a god to begin with, not when he worshipped the Ultimates.  
Now that they had disappointed him, there was nothing left to pray for, there was no more faith.  
An utterly empty and meaningless world, as Kumagawa had always said.  
A stage play written by an idiot, full of ugly noises that he hated.  
  
It was Kumagawa’s image in his mind that gave him strength. He knew Kumagawa would have endured far worse than that, with a simple smile. In this moment of death thought he could not say he hated the boy.  
  
No, he hated himself for always being so cruel to somebody so kind. All that pain and suffering had made Kumagawa kind, and it had only made him warped and cruel. That was the difference between them, anything else was just poetic fluff.  
  
He was glad. He was so happy that it was Kumagawa who would live, and he would get to die like an insect here. The god of death of that only brought misfortune to his friends would finally leave this island. Ecstatic by those thoughts he could not help himself, he ignored the pain and stabbed himself in the legs again and again.  
  
He then reached over towards the rope he tied to the end of the spear, and lifted it up. Suddenly, the door swung open and the fire started.

 _What?_ _  
_ _No, it’s early, it’s way too early!_ _  
_ _  
_ Komaeda had no idea what was happening. He knew Enoshima Junko would never move to save him so what- he needed to hurry and drop the spear on himself. His hand twitched but he caught sight of a spiky haired silhouette and hesitated before he could let go.  
  
_What are you doing here?_ _  
_ _I don’t want you to see this._ _  
_ _If I look at you I’ll get greedy again._ _  
_ _I’ll start to want._ _  
_ _I’ll start to want everything._ _  
_ _It won’t be enough.  
_ _It's fine Hinata-kun.  
I've known from the start.  
You can live, with or without me.  
So you'll keep living on without me.  
But I cannot live with or without you.  
So I have to.  
I must.   
_ _  
_ But he had had enough. He was sure of it he was completely sure. However, his hand would not budge. He hesitated in decision as he hear the noises of the others running away to the fire grenades that he had prepared ahead of time.  
  
He could not do it. He could not let go of the rope of the spear. He clung to this single spider’s thread that Hajime’s appearance had given him, even though he found it completely unbelievable that a worthless person like him could have even effected something as small as a spider’s life positively.  
  
However, suddenly he felt something pierce through him.  
  
_Huh…?_ _  
_ _But I…_ _  
_ _I didn’t let go yet…_ _  
_ _I… What’s stabbing me._ _  
_ _  
_ Rather than falling from above he had been stabbed from underneath straight through the stomach. Komaeda used the last of his strength to lift his head. A screw was impaling him straight through the stomach from behind.  
  
_What?_ _  
_ _All fiction won’t work._ _  
_ _What is he thinking?_ _  
_ _  
_ Kumagawa had impaled him with a screw, but for what purpose.  
Before he could figure it out, he saw the flame cannisters flying through the air.  
Oh, too late. He was going to die.  
Oh well, the curtain had to fall eventually. He hoped everybody in the audience could laugh in the end at least, even if he couldn’t.  
  
Yet, his eyes closed longer than he thought they would. He did not hear the sound of the cannisters breaking apart like he was expecting.

 _Is this death?_ _  
_ _It’s kind of…_ _  
_ _Boring._ _  
_ _Why isn’t anything happening?_  
  
He looked to the side, and saw that not a single one of them had broken as they hit the ground.  
  
Hinata standing on the other side of the fire screamed out. “What the hell? Did they all malfunction at once? Aren’t they supposed to explode and put out the fire.”

『It must be bad luck.』Kumagawa said, shrugging behind him.  
  
At that moment, Komaeda realized Kumagawa’s plan. _No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No._ How cruel of him. Forcing him to live. He was so scared. He was scared to live. He felt his fingers slipping from the rope, as he let go of his spider’s thread. Hopefully the spear would be enough to kill him. The blood loss, it was not as instant as he was hoping for, but he deserved a slow painful death.  
Just then, Kumagawa raised his voice dropping his usual way of speaking. “Hinata-kun forget about the cannisters. If you don’t move now he’ll die!”

“B-but, the flames!”

Kumagawa MIsogi moved ahead of him. He had no plan for fighting the fire, he just charged straight into it, and threw his jacket over it. WHen that did not work he simply threw his body over it. “Stop over me, I don’t care!”

It was too late, the rope had already slipped from his fingers. The sword of damocles was already falling. Hinata Hajime however, moved forward with unexpected speed before anyone else. He was so tired, he was so tired of being a useless main character.  
  
Even if he would fail.  
Even if his body broke.  
He just wanted to save one person. He just wanted to be of use to one person. Hinata rushed forward with that thought and threw his body over Komaeda’s stepping over Kumagawa an then landing right over Komaeda. He stuck his two hands into the ground and threw his back over Komaeda to protect him from whatever trap the boy had prepared next.  
  
 _I'll sacrifice it all._ _  
_ _Lay it out on the altar of hope.  
Just let me become a light bright enough to guide them when I burn.  
_ _Take it all.  
_ _I can't drink this poison anymore.  
_ _Take it all away from me.  
_ _You can take everything from me._  
 _Everything..._

He saw Hinata suddenly appear in front of him,  
and then,  
Tragedy fell.  
  
 _Everything.  
_ _My everything.  
  
_ A spear pierced straight through Hinata splashing Komaeda with his blood.   
  
From the ceiling the spear fell, and pierced him straight through the gut. Hinata reached forward, not even noticing the pain. He grabbed the end of the spear, and slowly, agonizingly, started to push it out.  
  
_It’s all my fault._ _  
_ _  
_ Komaeda realized.  
  
“I just wanted… to hang out with you one more time…” Hinata muttered, as he coughed up blood.  
  
Komaeda wanted to scream at him to let him die. He wanted to admit everything was his fault. He could do neither thing though. He only stared forward, as he saw the worst possible result unfold before his eyes.  
  
Hinata over him, his whole body shaking with agony as he tried to ignore the spear that was protruding from his back. “H...hey, please just tell me.Who was the one who did this to you?”

Komaeda raised a shaky finger, and pointed at Enoshima Junko. _I told a lie. But it’s fine, because I’m already wretched. I don’t want to be any worse in your eyes._ _  
_ _  
_ Kumagawa Misogi stood up from the flames just then.  
  
Enoshima Junko glared at him, as usual the phrase if looks could kill seemed to have been made up to describe her. “Misogi, so you’re choosing their side?”

『I can’t destroy everybody around me like you can, Junko. You won’t have anybody left. That’s why you never grow up.』  
  
Enoshima Junko smiled at him, a painfully fake smile. “Don’t grow up alone, Misogi. That’s so lonely.”  
  
Suddenly, the world had inverted.   
Everything was backwards and Komaeda could only stare at it hanging upside down from the hangman's noose he had avoided.   
Hinata and Komaeda were together again.  
And Kumagawa and Junko were worlds apart.

 


	43. Survival Stragedy (3 - Enemy x My Enemy)

He was not like Kumagawa Misogi or Enoshima Junko.  
  
He had never seen the beauty in broken things. He could not love broken things. They were not beautiful when they broke, even if they were repaired the cracks would still show, and they were not worth protecting from any further breakage. Broken things were just trash plain and simple, once they had stopped being useful they were meant to be thrown out.  
  
Saying something like “when the glass shattered, the line shined through it and it all glittered like falling crystal” was just poetic nonsense. The only thing people thought about when they watched glass shatter was how much of a pain it would be to sweep up later, and how they had to be careful when picking up the pieces once they cut themselves. Even if light could shine through broken glass and create a particularly beautiful moment, that moment would never last and it would never be worth cleaning up the mess made late. Functional glass could have light shine through it one hundred times, just sitting there all onits own in its perfection, therefore wouldn’t it stand to reason it was one hundred times more beautiful.  
  
Broken things were just a burden on everyone else.  
It was easier to just throw them away, for the vast majority of people it would be easier too.  
  
He had only known the life of being broken, and he had always watched the unbroken with envy. He wondered what it would be like to be like that, untouched. To have lived a life where nothing particularly good or bad ever happened. To have experienced things normally, and therefore have a normal grasp of things, looking at the world through a normal lens instead of a broken one with a large crack running down the center and branching off growing more and more cracked over time as his vision slipped from him.

As much as he had mocked Hinata-kun for living that kind of life, he really envied him. One might say to b the main character was to be important, and he could not deny a part of that desire, but it was more like the main character was the character the audience’s perspective shared. The audience was expected to relate to them, so oftentimes those characters had all of their outstanding features sanded off until they became unrealistically average. Hinata-kun was a little like that, he was indecisive, had no particular interests, never felt strongly about anything, seemed to drift between friends without making strong connections. Life had never dyed him any particular color, and because of that he was somebody who could accept any other color.  
  
Komaeda liked that quality of his the most, and also envied that quality the most. So, he had turned nasty towards the other, disappearing inside lightly rosy flower petals and shrinking away until the flower was seemingly gone entirely and he became nothing but thorn. That was a metaphor of course, he would never use something as beautiful as a flower to describe in the same sentence of him. He liked how Hinata-kun was relatable, somebody anybody could sympathize with, the kind of neutral perspective the audience could easily insert themselves into. He wished he was that kind of character, that kind of character that could be understood by others.  
  
There was another reason for him to disappear within a forest of thorns though. If Hinata got closer to him, he would not be able to maintain that quality of his forever, that untouched quality.The moment he reached out and touched him, he would be touched, right? So, he tried to run away for the sake of Hinata… no, that was putting it too nobly. It had been fo his own sake, because he did not personally want to lose the parts of Hinata he had liked. So Hinata could remain neutral, untouched, unhurt, somebody who had never had anything happen to him.  
  
Hinata held his hand out all the same. Nobody had ever held a hand out to him before. When his parents grabbed him, they did so harshly by the wrist squeezing him tight because it would cause trouble for them if he wandered off. He did not ever get the sense they were concerned for his safety in anything other than a possessive sense though, like if he were to break it would be the same as a really expensive glass vase they had bought and invested a lot of time into cleaning and dusting falling suddenly and shattering. That was the sense he got at least, children were oddly perceptive, or perhaps it was just him because he had no childish distractions of happiness to occupy his thoughts. His dog had let him pethis fur though, so he thought that was a close substitute. When he held out his small childish fingers, his dog would even lick them, and Komaeda allowed it even though he hated unclean things. Hinata’s hand was much warmer than even his dog’s fur, and this might just be his own gushing but it was a beautiful hand with a firm grip, skin of a slightly rough texture that felt well against his unnaturally smooth and cold skin. He could not help himself but to take it.  
  
But, because he had taken that hand, because their colors had been mixed, the previously colorless Hinata had been dyed a terrible scarlet red. The red was a lively color, fresh blood always tended to be. People only bled when they were alive after all, when they were dead their heart stopped beating and there was nothing pushing the blood out of their veins. The room that was back like by the orange flames he had started, now was covered in a bright red as well. Reds and oranges seemed to dance all around, they were fall colors that went well with each other, complementary, but he could not see anything beautiful in them. He heard a sound in the distance like rain, a steady sound of droplets hitting the ground, it had a unique rhythmn to it, but he could not find the sound of Hinata’s blood dripping from his body and splashing on the ground over and over to be any kind of beautiful either.  
  
He had broken Hinata. The moment he touched Hinata, he had broken him. He could not help himself but to break that boy. The place where he had touched, a crack had formed. An ugly crack traveled across Hinata’s form from right where the spear had fallen. In the past when he had said those who were hurt as a result of his bad luck was his fault, he only half meant it. After all a child boarding a plane for vacation cannot feasibly think the plane will get hijacked and a meteor will strike it. A child playing in the road cannot think that suddenly a tire will blow on an eighteen wheeler causing the car to swerve out of control and then his dog would push him out of the way and be smeared across the road by the truck.  
  
However, in this situation he had plotted ahead. He had stolen a bomb from the octagon, he had set up all of those fireworks, he had anticipated every way in which they might try to disarm the fake bomb, he had set a trap in this room for a fire to start, and he had prepared all of these individual methods to inflict pain on himself. The reason why Hinata was in this Monokuma factory was because Komaeda had anticipated the exact time he would arrive and manipulated him to arrive at this moment, he even set a timer on that laptop to play a pre-recorded message. Hinata was here because he had planned it, he could have planned a result where Hinata was not here but he had wanted Hinata to witness his death.  
  
So, this was his fault, he had engineered this entire situation after all. Kumagawa had told him if he wanted to die so badly he could hang himself alone in his room and therefore not be at risk to anybody else, but he had set this stage and carried out his whole performance until it’s logical conclusion.  
  
This was perhaps, the first thing he could not blame on luck at all. In fact, Kumagawa had removed luck from the equation. This was entirely his fault, Hinata had been broken by his hand. As the result of is choice.  
  
Perhaps he had not foreseen that Hinata would suddenly dive in front of him like that to protect him, but he had a choice. Everything was a choice, he who had so many choices taken away from him by luck could understand and appreciate that at least, or maybe he needed it to be true to believe that he had some kind of control over his life. He could have chosen to die quicker, he could have chosen to let go of that rope much sooner and Hinata would not have been able to save him in time. It was because he chose to hesitate, and cling to life with long and slender pure white fingers, that already looked like the fingers one would see on the bones of a skeleton that Hinata had been stabbed through with that spear. He could have also chosen to never drop the spear at all, and Hinata would have been in no danger. He could have talked to Hinata every single day the week before this when he continued to check up on him in the mornings, or when he had gone to sneak into the other boy’s cabin at night they could have talked about more than just small, useless, things.  If he had had a long serious conversation, he could have been dissuaded, he was sure if anybody could do it, it was Hinata.  
  
There was so many choices he could have made to avoid this situation, and yet he had chosen in this way. It must have been because he wanted it, he wanted this to happen, he wanted Hinata’s red blood to splash on his face, to hear the sound of it dripping, to hear the squelch of flesh as Hinata struggled with the spear that had ripped through him, to see the expression of him trying to be strong, but holding that pain. Yes, he must have wanted this in some twisted way, because he was a horrible selfish person after all, who could only hurt others. If he didn’t want to hurt others then he wouldn’t hurt them, as simple as that.

There were those who lived beautifully, beautiful, untouched lives that shined like a beacon, and those who lived their lives like nothing more than a growing accumulations of fissures, fractions, cracks and broken points until they finally gave up and broke entirely. If those broken people touched others, they would only create more broken people. That was what he had concluded. Why did they do that? For selfish reasons probably, because they did not want to be alone in their suffering, because they wanted more to be like them, because they wanted people to lick their wounds.

In that moment, in addition to the drip, drip, drip, sounds of blood seeping out of the wound, and the splish, splash, when blood fell in larger amounts and splashed on the ground, Hinata seemed to be saying something to him. Komaeda had never been particularly good at reading peopel’s faces, but he could at least recognize the look of pain on Hinata’s face that Hinata was doing a poor job of trying to hide. _Trying to hide his pain from the person who hurt him this badly, why is he so kind?_ He could see his face had cahnged slightly, his lips wee moving trying to form words. No, he was sure Hinata had definitely formed words but he could not hear them. The characters dropped off the page, just fell off. The noises stopped sounding. Whatever characters came out of Hinata’s mouth, it was like somebody had splashed black ink on them and scribbled the kanji out. That was what he heard, scribbles, scratched out, meaningless noise. Not only the sounds, but the face of Hinata himself faded away. It just faded away from in front of him. He reached out for the image of Hinata and suddenly he was reaching for nothing, all the colors in the world around him washed away, like water colors in the rain.  
  
_Oh._ He realized a moment later as he wondered why his eyes were refusing to see colors and shapes, and his ears were refusing to recognize sounds and words. _My brain broke._ Unable to view the scene in front of him, he had simply dissociated himself away from it, after hurting othes he could at least face the fact that he had hurt them but apparently he was a coward, on top of a person who existed to hurt others.  
  
Broke was not a good way to put it though, shattered? Into tiny dust like pieces, glass falling through the air, but without the sparkles, because there was no beauty in breaking after all. No, he could not be described as glass, that was a wrong metaphor because at one point glass was whole before it shattered. He was not even falling snow, because at one point falling snow when it touched the ground was pure white, virgin snow, colorless. However, his hair was not white because it was untouched, but rather he was stressed to the point that the original red colors faded away. He was faded out, that was the kind of broken he was.  
  
He was neve particularly good at describing his thoughts, so he decided to borrow from the works of an author he loved. Osamu Dazai no matter how brief he had lived, that person saw no meaning in the world and made that into a talent that had burned beautifully for a short while. In his work No Longer Human, the main character throws themselves into a river with a woman after being told to push her, and he is the only one to break the surface. The woman drowns. _How appropriate,_ Komaeda thought, _Hinata jumped into the river after me, and he drowned because of me while I survived._ The ending passage however was something he would use to describe the way images, sounds, and people appeared to him now.  
  
_Now I have neither happiness nor unhappiness. Everything passes. That is the oe and only thing I have thought resembled a truth in the society of human beings where I have dwelled up to now as in a burning hell. Everything passes. This year I am twenty seven. My hair has become much greyer. Most people would take me for over forty._ Everything passes, what a brilliant way to describe it, much better than anything he could have come up with. Any description he made, would have rang unpleasantly to the ear when read. Everything was passing him by, everything and everyone.

If the whole world left him behind, he would be fine with that, he wished for that. Yet suddenly, a hand appeared in front of him and he was anchored to this world once more. “You’re a cruel one, Hinata-kun…” Komaeda said, as Hinata’s rough hand reached past his neck, not to strangle it in revenge but to caress it, and lift him up. He was certainly the devil in this situation, but he was being cradled like La Pieta. Everything passes, everyone leaves, and yet this person would not, and he would not let him run away either.

An impasse.

  
  
  
♛

 

 

  
  
As much as I tease Hinata for being dumb, I can understand why he does not understand Komaeda Nagito. Even after being inside his head all this time, and deep diving into it, I still don’t quite understand him. I’m pretty sure you could dwell in his head forever, and still not get any closer to understanding him than the moment you started. Komaeda Nagito had lived as himself for nineteen years almost after all, and yet he still had not come any closer to understanding himself. As tempting as it might be to simply drown in Komaeda’s dismal, and murky depths forever there’s still a story going on outside.  
  
As Komaeda recoiled from the situation, everybody else glared tensely at one another.

They had reached an impasse.

In the background, the flames finally died out due to the efforts of Kurokami Medaka who had acted faster than others. The cannisters were still on the ground unbroken and one of them contained a deadly poison.  
  
Hinata had moved to cradle Komaeda quite gently in his arms, even while at his side a bloody spear lay on the round covered in red that had come from his body. However gentle he held him, his words were quite rough. “Oi, I’m cruel am I? The guy who saves you is cruel? What kind of nonsense is that? I don’t want to hear any of that ‘don’t save me, I’m not worth saving’ crap, from here on out all your opinions are rejected! The rescuee doesn’t get to bitch about the rescuer.”

He had saved him. His body had finally moved when he needed to. So what if Komaeda had to deal with the pain of seeing him get hurt, the pain of losing Komaeda would have been much worse he was sure.  
  
He had gone through all the trouble of peeling the tape carefully off of his mouth, and the first thing Komaeda had called him as cruel. Really, what an annoying guy. He was somehow more annoyed by that, then the fact that he had been pierced through with a spear.

Oh. He had been pierced through with a spear that was right, and also his first immeidately action was to rip the spear out, even though it was barbed on the end and he had torn out an even more considerable chunk of flesh. He watched the side of his shirt turn bright red, like drops of blood falling on snow and splashing out, staining it. _Oh shit._ Was all he thought. _Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit._ He did not even register pain, as the shock of what he had just done was stronger than that. He wanted to grab at his side to prevent himself from splitting in half, but that would mean letting go of Komaeda.  
  
Just when he was about to, Kumagawa suddenly walked over to him and tore off his button up shirt sticking it directly into the wound and applying pressure. Kumagawa, his enemy since the first moment on this island, his true hate at first sight was helping him? Not only that he had been the first to move to help him, even Pekoyama along with everyone else had been caught staring in shock, apparently as shocked as Hinata was at his own deed. _What, did you guys all think I was a useless guy who would just stand there and watch or something? I wanted you to think i was at least capable of being a hero when the chips are down._ He thought, still insecure about what others thought about him even when bleeding heavily from his side.

Kumagawa seemed ready to sell out anybody on this island to protect Enoshima Junko, to remain her ally, and yet he had betrayed her at this moment for the sake of somebody who hated him. Hinata could not understand this, and apparently neither could Junko.  
  
“I don’t get it, do you want to win that badly, Misogi? Talk about desperate. I’m not sure I find desperation attractie you know.”

Kumagawa merely kept smiling. 『What are you talking about? Unpredictable acts, fueled by the heights of desperation that people are driven to by despair, you love that sort of thing.』  
  
“Really? Komaeda-senpai of all people? That’s the person you’d betray even the wonderful me to save, don’t you know he’s a lost cause.”

『Well a lost cause fits a loser like me. Besides, you shouldn’t complain so much Junko. Betrayal is how we minus show our affection after all. 』Kumagawa said, as he blew her a kiss. 『We’ll fight, and then kiss to make up, at the end of this we’ll become even closer I’m sure that’s how these things usually go. A betrayal for a betrayal that’s all us minus understand.』  
  
It was Mukuro who moved next, the other person on this island who had left Junko behind. She quickly moved and began to actually treat Hinata’s wounds. Hinata had wanted to carry Komaeda on his back, and when they pulled Hinata away from him Komaeda even made grabby hands like a child indicating this is what he had wanted too but Hinata was not even strong enough to walk on his own.  
  
So between the two girls, Pekoyama who had rushed over after Mukuro made the first move carried Hinata on her back, and Mukuro carried Komaeda on her back. Kumagawa had been severely burned by the fire too, but he moved on his own.  
  
“I hate you, you know. I haven’t stopped hating you even if you helped me, in fact your willingness to help me might make me hate you even more.” Hinata said, quite pettily as he looked over Pekoyama’s shoulder.

『Yep, I know.』  
  
“So, why are you betraying the girl you love for my sake?”

『Well, to me enemies and allies are the same. If you think about it that way, then no matter how many people hate you, you’re always surrounded by friends.』  
  
“That sounds like something only an extremely lonely person would think.”

『Besides, if I let Junko take everything away from me, if she just had me, she would get bored and throw me out.』  
  
“How can you not hate someone who treats you like that?”

『That’s just how she is. Her soul can’t be saved. She’s the one who does the stealing after all. WIthout mercy or compassion, all she does is steal to fill the emptiness inside of her. That’s all her soul can do.』He spoke those words emotionlessly without any affection, as if he were stating an objective fact of reality.

Junko had prepared several thousand different retorts to Misogi at that moment but suddenly the words were caught in her throat. The idea that people could simply walk away from her seemed so boring to her after all, and Misogi was her only interesting thing. Staring at his back, at the flickering shadows of Kumagawa’s form as the light seemed to dance around him as if avoiding something as repulsive of him she realized she still did not understand him.

Perhaps they were just too different to ever undestand each other. He was full of so many interesting things, and she was just an empty girl after all.  
  
“I’ll still hate you, you know…” Hinata repeated a second time.

『That’s fine, even if you hate me we can still be friends. We’ll just be friends who hate each other.』

Hinata still had no idea what Kumagawa was saying. Komaeda was somebody he wanted to understand but could not, and then Kumagawa was somebody he did not want to understand and could not understand.  
  
Yet, once again he was stricken by how lonely those words sounded.  
  
Enoshima Junko watched that shadow as it disappeared. That’s how shadows were, they were always running away, that’s why they elongated when light was shown at them. Then suddenly, as she kept her supposedly all seeing gaze entirely fixated on that shadow her entire world went black.

 

♛

 

_I apologize for this not so jarring, and completely expected development, but it appears I have been kidnapped._

Enoshima Junko thought, as she regained consciousness only to see that her arms were dangling above her. She recognized the old wooden floor as the old hotel building, the place where Shiranui Hanten had died, and she had brought Misogi when kidnapping him earlier. _Oooh, callbacks._ She thought with a storyteller’s glee.  
  
Now then, how had she gotten here. Usually a kidnapping scenario had a convoluted kind of story that would be revealed in flashback, but ain’t nobody got time for that. She had been staring at Kumagawa as he left her, trying to think of something to say to manipulate him into coming back, when she realized she did not want to do that. To tug at his puppet’s strings would render him boring. She wanted him to come back of his own free will, yes that was what she truly wanted. When she tried to call out for him her throat dried up, and her lips were left only parted slightly. She only continued to stare at him as he left.  
  
And because her mind was so consumed of the terribly difficult task of communicating with another teenager her own age, that she had not noticed the sound of footsteps behind her, even though she had once claimed she was the kind of person who could hear a whisper from miles away whether she had wanted to or not. SHe did not realize what was happening until she felt a pain in the back of her head, and saw Kurokami Medaka’s fist completing the momentum of its swing. As she fell backwards she thought, _oh, my brain is bouncing around in my skull so that’s what it feels like, what an interesting feeling._ Then, she lost consciousness.  
  
From there it was easy to guess why she had been chained up. Komaeda used the last of his strength to point a finger at her as the person who attempted his murder, and she had been the only one who knew where the bombs were hidden. There was no way this entire situation had been set up to frame her for attempted murder though, Komaeda had merely been improvising, he was not nearly that smart.

『 _If you call everybody who defeats yo a cheater, then you’re just a sore loser. You’re never going to feel the satisfaction of a good loss._ 』    
  
That is what Kumagawa would say to her in this moment. He was not here of course.

“There’s no such thing as a good loss, or a good loser.” She said.  
  
He was not here, and she was simply talking to him, by herself in the dark, chained to a wall. But things were still going exactly as planned of course, of course, all of these were in her expectations of course.

“ _Is it possible you just can’t comprehend losing? That’s kind of funny actually_.”

And now she was hearing voices.

_“Well, everybody else is hearing voices, you might as well join in with them. Being left out of things and only ever being an observer is so lonely you know.”_

The voice in her head responded as if it were making casual conversation, and talked in an irritating way. In fact, Enoshima Junko only knew one person who could get underneath her skin so quickly, and so literally.  
  
Ajimu Najimi.  
  
_“Yahoo! Junko-chan! Did you miss me? I bet my emotional exit from the series left a gaping hole that just couldn’t be filled.”_ _  
_ _  
_ “How could I even miss you? You were gone for two whole chapters!”

 _“Chapters. What a strange way of speaking. Is this some new unit measurement of time that was invented while I was gone?”_ _  
_ _  
_ “Like you should be talking miss sits on the fourth wall and dangles her toes off the edge. How are you a voice in my head anyway? Ugh. Your voice is so annoying.”  
  
“ _Would you rather pretend to be talking to Kumagawa-kun instead?”_

“Ugh. Go die please. Wait, didn’t you die?”

_“I’m immortal remember? Dying doesn’t matter much to me as long as my skill that renders me immortal still persists. It’s like when Kumagawa-kun ripped my face off, I still persisted in his heart.”_

“Tch, what a waste of a perfectly good execution and punishment time. Well then go there, and leave me alone.”

 _“I can’t. He doesn’t want me there anymore. : ( .”_ _  
_ _  
_ “How the hell did I hear you make the sad emoji?”

“ _So, I decided to take up residence in your head instead. There’s lots of empty space in here after all.”_

“Ugh, I can’t believe I have to deal with an annoying and selfish woman in my head now whose so absurd,she makes me Enoshima Junko-chan, the one who laughs at the world’s absurdity play straight man to her.”

“ _There’s no need to be so dramat Junko-chan, it’s not that bad. Besides I have it worse, I have to hear your voice echoing in all this empty space. It’s annoying being stuck inside the head of somebody who sounds like Doraemon.”_

“I don’t sound like Doraemon.”

 _“I’m sure if you were a character in an animated series, you would share a voice actor with Doraemon that’s how similar you sound.”_ _  
  
_

“Quit breaking the fourth wall, it’s supposed to be my thing! Now that everybody’s doing it it’s not as cool anymore, I liked it before it was popular.” Junko whined as she leaned back against the wall and brought her knees up to her chest. She was at least able to sit down instead of being forced to hang. “If you’re somehow able to still haunt people’s heads ghost hag woman,”  
  
“ _Please call to me with affection Anshinin-san.”_

“Ugly ghost hag, then why don’t you just fix this situation for us? This game is getting really annoying to deal with, somebody needs to break it soon.”

“ _You can’t just go to me for every problem, that’s like always counting on Doraemon and his secret gadgets will make you as helpless as Nobita. Skills like All Fiction are really like a Doraemon device, yup, like the genius Helmec and Technology Gloves._ ”  
  
“Why go out of your way to choose obscure ones that only ever appeared in the theatrical feature for your comparison!? Why not the Bamboo-Copter or the Anywhere Door?!”

“ _Wow,your comebacks are always so timely and precise… no wonder Kumagawa-kun has so much fun talking to you.”_

“He has fun?”  
  
“ _Oh, that’s right. You’re not the kind of person who considers whether or not somebody else is having fun right, all you care about is your own enjoyment? All you do is indulge that twisted self value of yours.”_ _  
__  
_ “What are you saying?”  
  
“ _It’s interesting. You do have a storyteller’s touch don’t you? This situation parallels exactly that of three years ago, once again Kumagawa-kun is trying to save a suicidal girl._ _You made him relive his worst memory over and over again all for the sake of your own shallow enjoyment, and you didn’t even enjoy it that much anyway. Being around you meant always reliving that same tragedy, you just wore him out...”_  
  
“No, seriously what are you saying? Just spell it out. I don’t have time to do the usual break them by talking scene my wrists are starting to get sore.”

“ _That this is the natural result of all of that. You pushed him away, and pushed him away, and then he got tired of you and left you alone.”_

“...Ugh, I can’t believe Misogi ditched me and I’m stuck talking to you of all people.”

“ _It’s not like you miss him. You’re just upset you can’t control him, like you’ve lost a toy.”_

“But… my toy…”

“ _By the way...?”_ _  
_ _  
_ “What?” She said, like the defensive hiss of a snake.  
  
“ _People say that in the movie versions of Doraemon, Giant suddenly becomes a weirdly grownp and good natured-character, but shouldn’t they be saying that about Nobita more than anyone?”_

“Where did that even come from!?”  
  
“ _Huh? I don’t feel like I spoke out of context.”_ _  
_ _  
_ “It might be connected, but it’s only connected! It’s a total tangent! Why would you go into greater depth about the Doraemon movies?! What does that have to do with the current situation at all, this is like a mastermind reveal where the mastermind just babbles on and on and on and makes a bunch of anime references instead of getting to the point.”

“ _I think… Suneo is the one character who never experiences any growth, no matter what because of his character positioning, it’s hard for him to change even in a negative direction…isn’t that a little bit like you, Junko-chan?”_

“Change. Changed. Have I changed…? If I didn’t change, would Misogi get bored of me even though he said he loved me as I am…I’m allowed to get bored of him, but he’s not allowed to get bored of me.” Enoshima Junko muttered and just then the door finally opened she snapped. “Wait- why are we referencing Doraemon of all things to have this kind of deep conversation!”

Kirigiri Kyoko appeared in the door, to see Enoshima Junko yelling to an empty room about Doraemon. Her expression was completely flat, and she dropped a food tray on the ground and kicked it over to the girl. “I thought it would take you a little bit longer to lose your mind, Enoshima-san. It’s only been a few hours you know.”

  
“I guess I got tired of my own company. What’s that old chestnut about too many cooks?” Enoshima instantly shifted into a different personality now that she no longer had to play the straight man to Ajimu. Actually, her habit of personality shifting always seemed to increase when she spent long periods of time alone, like the time she had been sleeping while Ryoko-chan wandered around. Lately, though Misogi had never let her be alone. He was always near her, so she had been doing it less and less.  
  
Did that mean she was more mentally stable? Ugh, how boring. She wanted to break into pieces, and have the little pieces of glass fall like glittering snowflakes, shine like crystal. Kirigiri Kyoko had merely sighed at her joke, so Enoshima Junko continued on. “You know, Miss Detective I didn’t know allies of justice were in the habit of locking up people who never did anything wrong.”  
  
“You tried to destroy my father’s academy.”  
  
“Who never did anything wrong recently, gosh!”  
  
“You’re the reason Nanami-san, and Kuzuryuu-kun were killed.”  
  
“Who never did anything wrong in the past fifteen minutes!”  
  
“Somehow I doubtful even of that,” Kirigiri said, crossing her arms. She was all serious looks as usual, while a grin spread across Junko’s face that showed all of her pure white teeth.  
  
“Actually now that I think about it, this is better. This is what I wanted. Now I can have a showdown with my foil and natural enemy, the emotionless girl detective, and the emotionless mastermind! Let’s have a rival bonding moment where we shout each other’s names, that’s what they always do in the anime!”  
  
“No thank you.”  
  
“But a great enemy who defeats me and throws me into overwhelming despair  is even more fun to have around than a friend, you know! Yep, this is so much better!”  
  
“Ah… that seems like a lonely thing to say.” Kirigiri brought her fingers to her hai and gently combed through it. Despite Junko’s claims that they were similar (foils? She did not do the meta speak) she looked at the girl without any comprehension at all. In fact she had a hard time believing that such a silly girl was even capable of destroying her father’s beloved academy, completely on her own. The girl in front of her did not seem to take anything in the world seriously, she laughed at the whole world there was not one bit of sentimentality she had for it, one point of attachment.

It seemed as if she unchained her, Enoshima Junko might just float away to the moon, because she had never been a part of this world to begin with. She was unbound by anything even gravity. Kirigiri Kyoko could not even say with confidence that she had been born into this world and given life, because it certainly did not seem that way.  
  
“Well, I brought you food and I don’t have any reason to stay here so...”  
  
“Awe, but aren’t we former classmates? Don’t you want to know why I betrayed you?”  
  
“We were never friends.”  
  
“That’s right, you weren’t really friends with anybody besides Naegi-kun, right? You just ignored the rest of your classmates to always go on investigations.”  
  
“You’re the one being interrogated right now, don’t make this about me.” Kirigiri Kyoko leaned against the opposite wall, crossing her arms.  
  
Enoshima Junko smiled. “Besides, you have plenty of reason to stay Detective Zenigata. The moment you turn your eyes away from me, I’m going to break my wrists like Lupin the Third and Escape.” She had seen Kumagawa do the same thing after all when she had chained him up behind a chair.  
  
“Okay then, go ahead.” Kirigiri Kyoko leaned in a little closer from the wall to observe her.  
  
“Watch me, Nancy Drew.” Junko said, as she moved suddenly to break her wrist. “Ow! Ow! Ow! Owie! My wrist is ouchie!” However, Enoshima Junko had never endured that much pain in her life, she was a spoiled rotten girl after all who had never been forced to confront anything and could easily talk her way out of any situation. The one who had always suffered enough pain for the both of them was Mukuro. In fact she had sought out pain precisely because of how much she hated pain and the despair it filled her with.

“That’s about what I thought would happen. You don’t mind instantaneous pain like cutting off your hand, but the kind of continual chronic pain that Kumagawa-kun puts himself through is too much for you, that was my assessment anyway.”  
  
“Awe, I didn’t know you cared so much to learn about me. Well, it should be fine by the end of this I’m going to convince you to let me go.”

“If you are going to try to escape then, it’s probably better for me not to leave you alone.” She said, as she readjusted herself against the wall to get more comfortable. She kept her cold gaze focused on Junko, but no matter what angle she looked at the other girl from, it was like no one was actually there.  
  
“A stare down with my natural enemy, the one who will foil the mastermind’s scheme and find the terrible truth at the end of this mystery. Yes, this is what I wanted. Things always work out so well for me.” Enoshima Junko said, before suddenly deflating. “Still, being stuck in a room with someone as unfriendly as Kirigiri-san of all people. How despair inducing.”  
  
“Ikusaba-san was right you really do fall into despair easily, and wait you were just trying to get me to stay in this room a moment ago”  
  
“Yeah but… I changed my mind.” She was always changing her mind so easily, and changing everything about herself so easily. Yet, Kirigiri Kyoko from the moment she was born had had her entire future carved out in stone for her. They say infants were born tabula rasa, blank slates for the world to write whatever they wanted on it. However, from the moment she was born she had always been a detective. She had had no chance to be anything else, there was no future elsewhere for her. That was probably why she could not understand the girl in front of her, she changed so often she was impossible to keep track of. “Why are you even wasting your time on a worthless girl like me? Shouldn’t you be annoying someone else? Actually, now that I think about it you’re way more of a sidekick that secretly nudges the main character in the right direction than a leader type, why aren’t you playing sidekick to Hinata-senpai?”  
  
Kirigiri looked forward with cold eyes, remaining completely expressionless. “To be honest, I don’t really like Hinata-senpai, I don’t think I’d ever like him as much as I like Naegi-kun.” It was not just her eyes that were cold, her entire self was completely frozen over.

 

 

♛

  
  
Suddenly, Hajime Hinata sneezed.  
  
“Oh, that’s weird…” he said wiping his noise. “Is somebody talking about me? I hope they’re saying nice things. I hope that person likes me. Wait, what if they don’t like me and I don’t even know it, what am I supposed to even do the next time I see them?”

『What does it matter if they like you or not? You can do whatever you want.』Kumagawa Misogi said, standing next to him as they were both trying to look into and share the same bathroom mirror at the moment.  
  
“There’s no way I can just go around doing whatever I want without caring what others would think! That’s just inconsiderate and rude!”  
  
『So what. You’re a rude person. Besides what’s most important are your own feelings right, so you shouldn’t care so much about others to put their feelings as more important than yours. 』  
  
“I do care! I totally care! I know! I know I shouldn’t care, but that just makes me care way more! That’s the kind of person I am!”

He had never been expecting to have this sort of conversation with Kumagawa Misogi of all people. They had been instructed to clean their wounds and clean the blood off of them, which had resulted in them sharing the bathroom both of them with their shirts off. Kumagawa’s body from the neck down was covered in fresh burns. When he saw that, his shoulders slumped in disappointment. 『I was hoping at least to get a cool facial burn, like Todoroki Shoto-chan.』  
  
“There’s no way something like that would ever look cool on a guy like you.” Hinata had remarked at the time.  
  
They had moved all the way back to the first island, and wholed up in Komaeda’s cabin. It was good both Mukuro and Pekoyama were on their side, because if Junko really had tried to do anything against Komaeda, it was likely that Hinata who had lost a lot of blood, and Kumagawa who had been burned could not put up much of a fight against her.  
  
His one moment of being able to protect Komaeda had already gone and passed, and Hinata was back to feeling weak and inferior. Mukuro had already patched up Komaeda, wrappings bandages up on both legs. It was a little embarrassing as he had to had stripped down to his boxers in order to do so. After they had cleaned off, without their shirts Kumagawa and Hinata both had their own upper bodies patched up by Mukuro as well who was the only one of them with field experience in treating wounds. She was surprised though, how Hinata had resisted going into shock.  
  
“Your body is tougher than I expected, I always thought you looked kind of weak. Like one of those characters whose usually the first to die.” Mukuro commented rather harshly, though she didn’t mean any harm by it.  
  
Not that that stopped Hinata from feeling insecure anyway. “Do I really look like that? Is it just dumb luck that I’ve survived so far…” He muttered. “You really don’t have any mercy, huh Ikusaba-san. It’s embarrassing hearing a girl talk about my body like that.”  
  
“I don’t mean anything by it. It’s just there’s no way you could possibly be as sexy as Makoto to me.”  
  
“Who is this Naegi, and why does everybody think he’s the best thing ever?” Hinata whined.

『But, Hajime-chan you are taller than him at least.』  
  
“Makoto is the perfect size to stand on his toes when he has to kiss me. I wouldn’t ever want him to be any taller than that.”

 『Mukuro-chan is so pure hearted, that’s a girl in love for you.』Kumaawa was also one centimeter shorter than Junko, but he had only ever been mocked for this fact. He really was dating the evil twin.

“Anyway, it’s odd that you didn’t go into shock or anything…”  
  
“Well, I guess I’m used to it.”  
  
“Used to it? I thought you just lived a normal life before this… Well, maybe you got into a lot of fights, your face seems kind of punchable. In fact there’s something unnerving about you so I can see that happening.” Mukuro said, once again not realizing how cutting her words were. She stood up once more. “I’m going to go to the second island to get some painkillers for Nagito-chan, please make sure he doesn’t blow anything else up while I’m gone.”  
  
“She’s snarkier than I thought she’d be. She was always so quiet before this, I think I liked her better then.” Hinata Hajime spoke up sitting next to Kumagawa.  

『Mukuro-chan’s real personality is quite acidic, she’s far more fun when she speaks her mind I think.』Kumagawa said, immediately disagreeing with him. Hinata wondered for a moment if Kumagawa just existed to contradict his existence.  
  
Then he realized something, a few moments after it had become obvious. “Wait. Does Ikusaba-san not remember that I’m Kamukura?”

『Nobody on the island remembers you, Izuru-chan. Except for me, because I’m unable to forget anything due to the nature of my minus, and Junko-chan who had it revealed to her by Monokuma-chan and who I told.』  
  
“Then…” Kumagawa Misogi was a liar by nature, but Hinata had always assumed he was a selfish liar. Yet, he could not see a single way in which Kumagawa benefitted from keeping that secret to himself for so long. “Why didn’t you tell anybody until now? Were you just watching me the whole time laughing at me…”

『I wasn’t laughing at you, I was laughing with you!』  
  
“I wasn’t laughing at all!”

『Then you should laugh, it’s more fun Hajime-chan.』Kumaawa said as he tilted his head to one side. 『As for why, it’s because you wanted to live as Hajime-chan right? I think you should just be yourself. That’s why I didn’t say anything.』  
  
“Myself? There’s… nothing good about me. There’s nothing I can give to others.”

『That’s fine, then just take from others.』  
  
“I have no god features, just flaws. I’m too insecure, I think too much about myself, I never say the right thing when I need to, I’m not smart, I’m not good at understanding others, basically the only time I’m any good is when I shut up, that’s the only reason why I’m a good listener.”

『Hajime-chan, when you read about a character in a story they’re not defined by their positive qualities, they’re defined by their flaws. Nobody wants to read a story about a character whose perfect, but the most interesting characters have lots and lots of flaws. Your flaws make you who you are, you shouldn’t belittle them that much.』  
  
“But… I am little. It was just a bunch of petty annoyances I couldn’t put up with, because I was insecure, because I didn’t want to try hard because I wanted to be special like others, my existence is so small I threw it away so easily.”

『You’re right, that was pathetic of you.』  
  
“You’ve been through so much worse than me, but you endured up until that point without running away.”

『Yep, that makes you even more minus than me.』  
  
“When I’m belittling myself you’re not supposed to agree you know.” As they were sitting there, Hinata had slowly been coiling up like a snake, drawing his knees close to his chin as he tried to hide away from the rest of the world. For Komaeda’s sake he had been so bold, and yet now he felt like he could barely move on his own.  
  
『I didn’t mean it in a bad way, I like those flaws.』Kumagawa said, seemingly oblivious to his distress. 『Well, it doesn’t really matter right? It’s not like becoming Izuru-chan changed that much about your nature, from the way I understand it you were always empty. No matter how much you try to fill it up, it will always remain empty. So it’s not like you lost anything becoming Izuru-chan. I think you two are more similar than you realize.』  
  
Kumagawa Misogi was like a shadow that did not have to follow the borderlines of reality, he was like formless water that could slip through cracks, and take the shape of whatever container he was in. It was this indefinite nature of his that unnerved Hinata so much. Despite seeming oblivious, despite apparently being an idiot he had gotten to the heart of the matter in an instant. Kumagawa sympathized with weak people, he could see the weakness in others but… that just meant that Kumagawa was looking down on him as week.  
  
“Tch. What happened to you anyway? At least I willingly erased my identity by choice, it’s like somebody else erased that identity for you and now you’re just whatever you need to be at the moment.”

『What happened... I wonder...』  
  
“Listen, no matter how much you try to comfort me I’ll still hate you.”

『That’s fine. It sounds like you are going to hate me no matter what I do, so I’ll just do what I want, and what I want is to comfort you for now. I might change my mind in the future if I get bored though.』  
  
“But… the idea of owing you literally anything makes my skin crawl so I’ll listen. It’s the only thing I’m good for anyway, when my mouth is shut I can’t say anything stupid.”

『Well, starting with my birth...』  
  
“Hey, that’s way too early! Nagito did the same thing too, why do you two both have such detailed backstories.”

『I don’t know the names of my birth parents.』  
  
“Oh…”

 

♛

 

  
When Kumagawa saw the firm hand of a parent, a much larger hand wrapped securely around a child’s hand he did not understand it. He had never known that touch before, as far as he could remember he had been wrapped up in chains. WHen he needed to move, so that he didn’t escape, large metal cuffs around his childish wrist, and chains hanging from them.  
  
The bonds between people are just chains tying them down, that was the only way he had ever understood them. That was why he had strived for the opposite, to do whatever he want, to be untied to anything. If he let himself be tied down, he would return to that room after all.  
  
Of a boy with pure white hair, so long and unkempt it fell right in front of his eyes. Who sat in the corner of the room, waiting, waiting, waiting, for the adults. His ankle felt heavy, because it had been tied down by those same chains. They were his human contact, but they only brought him pain. Still, he wanted to see them. He would be alone otherwise.

“Are you going to be good?" They would say, smiles on their face.  
  
He would smile in return. 『I’ll be good this time.』  
  
Then, slowly they would count down, driving hooks underneath his flesh, and screws into his skin. Never enough that he bled to death, just enough so that he could feel it all over. He had no idea why other people smiled at all, he just associated it with pain. People smile when they are in pain, or when they are happy, they smile fo all sorts of reasons that he did not understand.

The feeling of pain, started to fade. As a result of being tortured countless times by adults who were supposed to care for him, he became completely numb on the inside, hollowed out.

“How is it, are you becoming more obedient now.” They asked with a smile.

『Yes.』He said, smiling back at them.  
  
When they left him alone though, it was worse than enduring the pain while they were around him. As when he was alone, all he could do was sit there in silence while his body throbbed. In the corner of the room, he held onto himself. Occaisonally he saw adults holding onto each other, but he had never been held in such a way. He had no idea at all, why humans would even get that close to each other. It seemed every time humans reached out to touch one another, they only caused each other pain.  
  
『I’m looking forward to tomorrow… Yuuki.』  
  
“Mmm, you weren’t good enough to day, you cried too much. Tomorrow you’ll be good.”

『They might be happy with me for once. This time, this time, this time, they'll praise me.』  
  
“Yes.”  
  
『Hey, do you think if I got patted on the head, would it hurt?』  
  
"I don't know." 

『Me neither..』  
  
Kumagawa had been scratching at his neck, even when his nails broke the surface of the skin he did not stop. He was so used to pain after all, all he felt was a slick tickle. He did not notice until he felt something cool and wet on his fingers, and even when he did all he could do lick the blood off his fingertips. It tasted like metal, a taste he was more familiar with than any other taste.   
  
He did not even have a friend. No matter how numb he was, he was scared, he was unbelievably scared that he would die down here in this small room, completely alone. That nobody would remember him. So he imagined. He imagined that there was someone else here with him, and carried on a two sided conversation, in a weak childish voice. He had been thrown an old stuffed rabbit once, and he conversed with that rabbit on the opposite side of the room instead.

『It’s my fault isn’t it?』  
  
“Yeah, it’s definitely your fault. You’re so messed up by now, even if they were gentle you wouldn’t be able to appreciate it.”

『Yeah, because all I feel is pain.』  
  
When he had first started, he cried and wailed for attention. He had nightmares on a daily basis. He didn’t know when, but slowly all of this pain had started to lose its value. Both his life, and others, they were completely meaningless. It was the only way to escape that pain.  
  
Even after he escaped from that place, and was found by a different set of adults, Kumagawa did not see them as any different.  
  
“That boy’s physical ability is strong, he has almost as much movements, vision and reaction time as Kurokami Medaka he’s just lacking in proper upbringing or any prior education...”  
  
“No, that child has too many problems. He has no moral sense at all. For the smallest things, he’ll violently lash out at others.”

“A boy raised in such a violent environment won’t ever be able to recover, he’ll never be useful to us if we can’t account for his actions. It’s better if we don’t waste our time on defective goods, especially if they can be replaced so easily.”  
  
The man at the hospital, Matsuda Fukuro explained to the others in a calm voice. The adults cared for him as little as the previous adults he knew. That was when he decided to just live completely on his own.

If he was strong like they said he could survive on his own. When he stopped to think about it for a moment, the realization that there was nobody in this world who would ever truly care for him he was a bit sad.  
  
That was probably his fault too, he thought.

 

♛

 

“W-what the hell, really? Something like that…” Hinata said in a shaking voice. Even picturing somebody else going through that situation was horrifying him. _No… No I can’t sympathize with him._

『It’s fine, Hajime-chan. You’re a kind one after all, just like Nagito-chan said. You don’t have to sympathize with me though...』 Kumagawa tilted his head to the side. 『It’s not like having a sad backstory justifies what you do, I know what the difference is between fighting to protect yourself and simply lashing out at others to make yourself feel better at least and I’ve done far more of the latter than the former. If I were a truly strong person I could have endured all that pain without lashing out.』  
  
“That’s why you call yourself weak, even though you’re so strong?”

『I’m not strong. I’m the weakest person I know… so damn weak. Trauma doesn’t make you strong you know, it just chips away at you and makes you weaker and weaker. Your personality was written by science, and mine by trauma… I’m sure all I am is just a response to the many tragic things that happened in my life, without them I probably wouldn’t even exist. I can’t imagine what I’d be like then...』  
  
“Nagito said something like that once…”

『Yes, I heard we’re quite similar. Foils even. If that’s the case though shouldn’t you realize how cute and lovable I am?』  
  
“This is a serious conversation no meta talk!” Hinata snapped at him. He sighed and hung his head for a moment. “I’m probably closer to you right now then I am to him anyway… do you think he hates me?”

『What? For saving his life?』  
  
“Yeah, yeah… Do you think he hates me for that? Is that why he won’t talk to me? I did something wrong, didn’t I? Or, I should have saved him sooner. Or, he probably didn’t want to be saved by a worthless reserve course student like me. Maybe I should have just stayed out of it… I can’t… I can’t do anything for him…” He reached and grabbed at the folds of his pants, pulling on them and wrinkling them further. Even after they had carried Komaeda all the way here, and softly tried to ask him several times who had done this to him, why he had tried so hard to find the traitor, he had not talked to any of them. His eyes followed them around the room, so they knew he was aware and not in shock, but no matter how hard they tried he would not respond.

『I think if Nagito-chan were in your position, he would probably say the same thing. That’s why you’re good for each other.』  
  
“All I ever do is worry him, and all I ever seem to do is worry about him when I think of him.”

『Then it’s mutual, you have mutual worries. It’s good that way isn’t it? It’s nice having somebody worry about you… it’s better than the alternative having nobody in the world worrying about you.』    
  
Kumagawa’s rambling way of speaking really did sound like he was making it up as he went along. Hinata was not sure he could trust in words like that, no matter how kind they sounded. Kumagawa told kind lies perhaps, different than the lies he had originally thought Kumagawa told but weren’t they just lies in the end?

He stood up then and went to the other room. Mukuro had finally returned, but just as she did he was in time to see Komaeda strike the pain medication out of Mukuro’s hand and spill it across the floor. Komaeda had been stripped of his jacket, due to Hinata’s blood splashing on it, and instead only wore his t shirt with the strange red insignia, and his boxers with his legs covered up in bandages. His thin legs were bent in odd ways, and Hinata assessed Komaeda could probably not even walk away on them if he wanted to, he barely seemed able to move them having to reposition them with his hands when he wanted to stand up. The stress of the near death had caused him to e sweating and almost feverish this entire time, symptoms of shock they had been monitoring. Because of that, his usually fluffy hair seemed to hang off his head, and was slicked down by sweat and stuck to his forehead in some parts. Komaeda always looked like death, like the silhouette of a shinigami someone saw in the corner of their eyes the few weeks before the end, but he was particularly fragile looking this time. His hair was the same pure white as ever, so distinct against the background. Hinata thought it was truly beautiful, because it did not look like anything that belonged to this world. That unique quality, he was charmed by it. Komaeda struggled to sit up, repositioning himself with his hands once more, but said nothing, the only thing that reacted was his eyes as he looked to Hinata for one long moment, with wide, longing eyes and then forced himself to look away.  
  
Hinata however would not allow him to look away or ignore him forever. Even if it only annoyed or bothered the other, he would still worry about him, out of spite if nothing else. He picked up the medicine bottle from the ground and checked to see if it had not all spilled out. He politely asked Mukuro to leave it to him, and then poured it in a spoon. “Come on, say aahhhh.” He said.  
  
Komaeda opened his mouth, hesitantly. When Hinata let him sip from the spoon, Komaeda immediately spit it out.  
  
“Don’t be a brat, you’ve swallowed plenty of bitter things before. Tch, fine…” Hinata suddenly threw the spoon away and tipped the bottle back. Komaeda stared at him confused for a moment, and then inata suddenly pushed him back on the bed and smashed his lips against Komaeda’s.  
  
In the shocked gasp Komaeda made, his lips parted and Hinata did not let up forcing the medicine down his throat. When he was finished, he drew his ehad back, wiping the last of it from his mouth. “There’s nothing more bitter tasting than me probably… so just deal with it…” Hinata said. What Komaeda needed was soft words right now, what he needed was comfort, but he had no idea what to say so he just ran his mouth. He was really the worst at this, at least Komaeda swallowed the medicine.  
  
Hinata clutched his stomach again, and looked back to Kumagawa. There was no doubt that being stabbed through a spear was a pain that would barely faze him, so then why had he told Hinata of all people to step over him and be the hero in that situation.  
  
They should have been enemies. Kumagawa never should have helped him, they had only hated each other since the start.  
  
Or maybe Kumagawa and Kurokami Medaka were right and enemies were somehow closer than friends.

 _No way, that’s way too lonely of a philosophy._ _  
_

Hinata thought, before his head sunk again weighted down by thoughts of inferiority.  
  
_It’s not like I’m much better…_ _  
_ _Because I’m lonely too._

Perhaps there was a way to escape his normal and empty mind, besides multiple brain surgeries. All he needed to do was to try to start imagining himself in the life of another, even an unimaginable person like Kumagawa Misogi.

 

♛

 

“Upupupu, having a chat with an enemy is so fun! What a classic trope!” Enoshima Junko said, giggling with excitement. She was always so bubbly, the other girl could not understand it. What was the point of acting out so much, when she was empty inside regardless.  
  
“We’re not even enemies, that would mean acknowledging you in some way. I just don’t like you.”  
  
“Awe, why don’t you like me? I think I’m pretty popular with the kids these days. In fact, I’m sure I’m the mostest popular!”  
  
“Mostest…:?” Kirigiri blinked, not seeing the humor in poor grammar. “You’re the only human being on earth that Naegi Makoto-kun doesn’t like, that idiot who likes everybody. That means you’re impossible to sympathize with.”  
  
“That’s not true… there was someone who understood me.” The sight of Kumagawa’s back flashed before her eyes once more, and Enoshima Junko’s voice dropped a little bit.

Kirigiri noticed the change, but assumed it was just another ruse of the girl’s. “Kumagawa-kun is just deluded, he thinks he understands you just like everybody else around you is led to believe they’re the only ones who understand you. You’re nothing more than a liar after all. There’s nothing you ever give to others, you just deceive them into falling in love with the idea of you, and use that to string them along until they’ve walked to the edge of the cliff and you laugh as they walk one step further.”  
“Awe, can’t we get along Kirigiri-san. You and I are the smartest ones here after all, we’re the most logical and cut throat. We both realize the only way out of here is to solve the mastermind’s scenario, so why don’t we just work together.”  
  
“There’s no way I could believe an offer like that.” Kirigiri Kyoko said, locking cold eyes on the other girl. “A detective’s only ally is the truth. That’s the Kirigiri doctrine I was raised on, it’s all that I am, I won’t betray it or my pride for the sake of working together with a liar.”

“That’s no fair, after all you’re a liar too, Kirigiri-san.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Even if it’s just a lie told to yourself, it’s still a lie. You take pride in the Kirigiri Doctrine? Really?” Enoshima licked the inside of her teeth, like a snake licking its fangs. She could just taste the despair in the air. There was no helping it. “You’re acting like it’s your choice, that you chose to be this way, but you were raised from seven years old to be a detective weren’t you? Were you really ever given any kind of choice?”

“...I wanted to become a detective. I was happy, being one.”  
  
“If you’re happy, then why do you never smile?”  
  
“That’s just my choice. There’s no point in showing my emotions I always need to appear calm.”  
  
“Aren’t you just pretending that it’s a choice? I mean what you were seven years old when you started to be a detective, so since then you’ve seen murder, guts, blood, the absolute most depraved things humanity has to offer. You’ve seen the pure and honest truth in humanity, ever since you were a young age, exposed to it again and again because your grandfather only valued the truth. No wonder you can keep calm in the middle of a death game like this, you’ve already been through the worst. I’m envious actually, imagine what kind of despair you got to witness.”  
  
“...”  
  
“Not only do you lie to yourself though, you lie to others. You conceal information and investigate only on your own. So, where’s the truth in all of that?”

“Be quiet.”  
  
“You became a detective to follow the truth right? Is that it? Or, just because it’s what your grandfather wanted of you. You wanted him to pat you on the head, didn’t you?”  
  
“All you ever say is nonsense.”

‘“You know, if I was masterminding this death game I’d make you the Ultimate ?????, because without your talent you’d be absolutely nothing. Your grandfather would see nothing in you, he’d throw you out like he did your father. I’m sure you know that too, but you can’t help yourself from wanting his love anyway because you’re just a kid after-”  
  
“Why the hell do you even care!” Kirigiri Kyoko snapped at her slamming her boot down. Now the boot was on the other foot, and Kirigiri was the one throwing a tantrum like a child as Enoshima Junko watched. “You don’t even care about your classmate at all! You don’t care about anything, so don’t pretend like you know me better than I know myself.”  
  
“What a boring conclusion you’ve come to.” Enoshima Junko said, her eyes turning dull. “Of course I care, there’s no point in tormenting the hell out of someone you don’t care about.”  
  
“What…?”  
  
“I went through so much effort too, designing this death game so all of my beloved classmates would turn on each other, and kill each other. I thought about them so much, I spent so much tiem with them, that’s why there’s no way I could let them die like all the rest they had to die in a special way.”  
  
“What… what kind of twisted affection is that? Nobody wants to accept that kind of twisted affection, that’s what Mukuro’s been dealing with her whole life? What use is despair even, what has it gained you? All it does is make you throw things away.”  
  
“You may not think you need it, but I most certainly do. Despair is like a virus you know, it infects a host and is completely lacking in life, it’s just a bunch of codes and functions and responses to the environment it doesn't feel anything, and yet it continues to persist. Why does it infect others then? It must want a life of it’s own, it must want to feel alive too.”

Kyoko turned away coldly towards the door. “You and I are never going to understand each other. That’s the only truth I need."  
  
“Fine then, give up everything for the sake of your precious truth. Then keep going on about how you’re oh so different than me. Even if that means giving up that boy too.”  
  
Kirigiri’s hands hesitated at the door knob. Sharply she turned around and looked back at Enoshima Junko. “Naegi-kun? Why would I have to give him up?”  
  
“If you don’t reach the outside world you’ll never see him again. If you don’t do it in time, who knows what will happen.”  
  
“...”  
  
“You need him don’t you? Because you’re held up by lies, because as a detective you’ve witnessed the worst of humanity, doesn’t that mean you’re surrounded in despair? If you only believe in the truth doesn’t that mean you don’t believe in anybody else? That’s the reason you’re always doing things on your own.”  
  
“I don’t care about myself, just tell me about Naegi-kun.”  
  
“That’s it. You don’t feel any hope for yourself at all, you couldn’t, you’ve been born down by what you’ve been through. That’s why you need him, you need Naegi-kun to believe in you, and others for you. Naegi-kun is your hope. You can’t go on without him.”  
  
“...”  
  
"To think about it, Saihara-kun can't be doing too well either. He's in this game too but you still haven't found him after searching for so long haven't you? Or is the mystery more important than his life? Who knows how long the master mind will last before the master mind gets bored and kills him."  
  
"..."   
  
“Come on. Let me go. Let’s break this game together, and then once we’re out of this in the real world you and Naegi-kun can band together to defeat me.”  
  
“You’re my enemy…”  
  
“But you treat everybody like an enemy, so what’s the difference to you?”

Slowly, reluctantly Kirigiri Kyoko moved forward and reached up with the key she had been keeping tucked away in her pockets, undoing the shackles around Enoshima Junko. Just as she had predicted, the girl had been convinced with words alone to free her.  
  
It was like that old adage said, keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.  
She could not afford to let this one out of her sight.  
Well, it should be fine anyway.  
She had no friends on this island to distract her, only enemies.  
Her only two friends, Saihara and Naegi were in some far off place.   
She could not reach them on her own.   
No, even if they were here right in front of her she was sure she would not be able to reach out to them on her own. The woefully incomplete and lonely person she was.   
A person who was a detective before a person, they were just, an incomplete person.   
That was the truth. 


	44. Survival Stragedy (4 Strong x Weak)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I read the killing commendatore recently, it was a little weird.

A stuffed rabbit sat at the end of her bed.  
  
A peculiar stuffed rabbit, from no matter what angle it was viewed at it seemed uncanny. If they existed in a three dimensional world, then the rabbit seemed to be just one step, 3.1 dimmensions, or perhaps 3.2. Human eyes were naturally attracted to symmetrical shapes, but nothing about this rabbit was symmetrical. Every design element was asymmetrical, though it was likely the creator had not intended it that way, it was just a result of his own sloppy and haphazard hands.  
  
The rabbit’s main body was a bright pink fabric, though in several parts patches of fur darkened as if it had been stained with actual blood. She did not doubt this, because of the aforementioned clumsy creator probably had no sense to use a thimble and could have easily stabbed himself and bled several times while making the rabbit. Not only had the creator wounded himself, but the rabbit too was wounded in several places. Large stitches were sewed into place on several spots on his body, near his mouth, on its long floppy ears, at his arms at just about the shoulder, and one on each leg right under where his knees might have been were he not a plush rabbit. The rabbit also had bandages tied over it in several spaces, as if the maker had given up on stitching all of it back together. Even with all of those repairs, there were still a few places where the seams were loose and cotton fell out.  
  
The rabbit had large black anime styled eyes, with it’s eyelashes drawn underneath. Rather, it only had one eye, as the other was covered in an eye patch. It was likely that the rabbit originally had two eyes until a careless mistake of the creator resulted in this quick patch job. The rabbit also had a button nose, and a set of buck teeth protruding from a wide smile that took up the rabbits entire space. If this were a human it would be called a duchennes smile which involves contraction of both the zygomatic major muscle (which raises the corners of the mouth) and the orbicularis oculi muscle (which raises the cheeks and forms crow's feet around the eyes). However, this was a rabbit so it probably used entirely different muscles to smile. The rabbit also had jagged claws on the end of its feet and toes, they looked intiimdiating but the rabbit was made out of plush so they probably could not cause any harm.  
  
There was a small top hat on the hot of the rabbit’s head, and just under it was another set of bandages. The reasonf or the bandages was quite obvious, as a medium sized screw had been driven into the rabbit’s head. This in part contributed to the rabbit’s overall look of asymmetry, even the rabbit’s buck tooth smile seemed uneven. THere were so many flaws and defects in the construction of the long floppy eared, pink stuffed rabbit that it was easy to stare at it for quite a while observing each and every one.  
  
Plainly put, the rabbit was unsettling to look at. It looked like the kind of stuffed animal that would come alive in a horror movie and attempt to murder children, or the kind that’s eyes followed you around the room and would move whenever you took your eyes off it. Such a horrifying thing had been given as a gift to Enoshima Junko, to Kumagawa Misogi. She had never received such a terrible gift in her life, it looked handcrafted to send her into despair just by looking at it’s unpleasantness. And that was why she had loved it so much.

A few days ago, this monstrosity had been shoved in her face, or rather Kumagawa Misogi had asked her to close her eyes for an excruciatingly long amount of time (about less than 30 seconds but that was an hour in Junko time) and when she finally opened them her entire field of vision was taken up by the rabbit’s one eyed face staring back at her.  
  
“Oh, I see. You’re going to murder me and shove my soul into this rabbit for all eternity, that was your surprise, that’s how this is going to go.”

『What? No, Junko it’s a gift. Sometimes people do nice things for other people not because they want to manipulate them into something, or they’re about to do something horrible next.』

“Then what’s the point even.”

『I thought reveling in the pointlessness of life was a thing we did together. So, do you like it?』

“I don’t like or dislike it.”

『What a disinterested answer! The opposite of love is disinterest, you know. I would have been happier if you said you hated it, and the very sight of it burned your eyes.』  
  
“Don’t worry, some stuff animal could never repulse me as much as you do, my dear loser prince Misogi.”

『Don’t coo my name in a soft voice after such a string of insults!』  
  
“Why did you even bother giving me a gift anyway?”

『I feel bad. I didn’t even get you a gift for your birthday.』  
  
“I’ve never liked a single gift anybody has given me for my birthday, and I don’t even like the fact that I was born in general.”

『Well, even if you hated I was glad you were born. So I wanted to give you a gift. I even made it myself.』  
  
“That was obvious from how horrifying it looks. Why did you get a rabbit? You could have gotten me a bear at least. Not that I like bears or anything, idiot.”

『She’s totally being tsundere about bears now. Tsunbeare!』  
  
“Oh, that was a good one. It only works if you say bear in english though. Are you trying to sound cool and intelligent by using english?”

『Of course I am! I can’t help but show off in front of the girl I love.』  
  
“Oh, just like how I can’t help but want to put you down every time I see you, so you fall flat on your face.”

『Even I have my limits you know. Have you ever heard of verbal abuse?』  
  
“What are you going to do, call the verbal police?”

『I wanted to give you something from me though, and I like rabbits more than bears. Rabbits are lucky you know.』  
  
“If you wanted to give me a charm for good luck you could have just given me Komaeda-senpai’s severed foot.”

『Jeez you’re like a cat, you can’t just leave body parts on people’s doorsteps as a present. Besides, it reminds me of those charms we had in the real world. The rabbit and the bear charm, it’s a little bit sad that we don’t have those in here.』  
  
“It’s true, after I kill you in the real world carrying a keepsake like that around would have filled me with tons of despair.”

『Yeah, that’s what I was getting at. Wait, what? That’s not what I was getting at at all!』  
  
“It’s pointless to give me such a thing here, you know. This world is virtual, once we leave it it’ll be like this stuffed rabbit never existed in the first place.”

『So? Why can’t we enjoy it for the moment.』  
  
“I literally just said, it’s going to be thrown out eventually.”

『Well fine. I’ll take it back then.』  
  
“N-no, wait. It’s mine! My things are my things, you can’t have them back. Upupupupupu, what a foolish boy you shouldn’t have given me your possessions so easily, now I’m going to take everything from you.”

『Why are you villain monologuing suddenly? Ugh, I was just trying to give you a gift, why can’t you just ever be normal?』  
  
“I have an overclocked brain that prevents me?”

『It’s not just your brain, it’s your awful personality too! Even with a normal brain, you’d still probably just be craving the most abnormal life possible, it’s not like I hate how you’re true to your desires, but you could stand to have less depraved desires.』  
  
“Ugh. If what you want is a nice normal girl to make you happy, then why do you even like me so much anyway?”

『Huh? Junko? Wait did that actually bother you? I thought we were just bantering! I’m sorry, I didn’t know I hurt your feelings, actually I didn’t know you even had feelings in the first place that were capable of being hurt.』  
  
“What do you like about me then?”

『...Everything.』    
  
“Huh?”

『The opposite of love is disinterest, right? Then, I like everything about you, there’s not a single part that I find boring.』  
  
“Oh…”  
  
She wrapped her arms around the rabbit, and then between them leaned forward. Kumagawa thought she was leaning in for a kiss and closed his eyes for a moment in anticipation, but she moved her lips past his and went to his neck instead. Like an upset animal, she dug her teeth into his neck in frustration, brattily sinking them in as deep into his flesh as possible.  
  
Kumagawa was caught off guard by the unexpected blow, and right at that moment she leaned all of her weight against him. Junko, Kumagawa, and the stuffed rabbit between them, all three of them fell backwards on the bed. She let go of his neck, and searched for his earlobe instead, and bit onto the corner of that just as hard. Kumagawa did not know what to do in reaction, he merely stared at the unfamiliar white ceiling above him keeping his hands at his sides.

『J-junko, be careful.』  
  
“Hmmm?”

『You're way too much, I'll feel too much, I’ll overflow.』  
  
“What do you mean? What will happen next? Hey, tell me what your prediction is.”

『Probably, something amazing.』  
  
She buried her head into his shoulder. Kumagawa thought, if there was a camera above him watching him, it would have started to spin at that moment, as he felt his own world spin. At least that was what he felt would be the most cinematically appropriate shot. Somehow the tickle of Junko’s breath as she whispered words only he was meant to hear, was much more intimate than her fit of biting from a moment ago. “Nothing amazing ever happens. Nothing amazing has ever happened.”

Kumagawa did not know what to say, because it occured to him that maybe those words were never meant for him after all. Junko was merely speaking to herself and he happened to overhear. She might have even forgotten he was there, as she was using him as an object for comfort, the same way she might hug that stuffed animal if she was in a bad mood. Which for Junko happened to be most of her moods.  
  
After a long period of silence, it was Junko who spoke up again finally. As she tended to be in control in moments like this. “Misogi, you already gave me something for my birthday remember? Don’t you remember what happened that day?”  
  
The two of them lying in bed together, every time she seemed like she would slip away he kept her awake with conversation, as if he was afraid if he closed his eyes at any moment he would slip away from the dream like comfort the two of them were sharing at the moment. That she was just a dream that would disappear when he woke up.   
  
Well, considering she died before the morning even started that was more accurate then metaphor. 

『 _I still feel bad that I didn't get you a birthday present. I'm sorry, it's all my fault. W-w_ _hat can I do for you to forgive me? I can’t destroy the world for you or anything, but I’ll do whatever I can-_ 』  
  
_“Did you just say that you’ll do whatever you can? Did you say absolute obedience?”_  
  
『 _N-no I didn’t say that_.』  
  
_“H-hhkkk… Misogi didn’t get me anything for my birthday, he’s so mean.”_

『 _I did, I did! Indeed, I did say “absolute obedience” with these lips_!』  
  
_“I see. Nothing less from you, Misogi. Such a generous heart. The kind I love trampling over and filling with despair the most. Just now, I thought of about 5,000 ways to plan your demise all over again. You don’t know what I’m going to request of you, but you’re willing to be absolutely obedient to my requests for the rest of your life.”_

『 _The rest of my life?_ 』  
  
_“Hkk-eee--hhhkkk, why did you forget about my birthday? Do you hate me? Is that it? Do you hate the day I was born as much as I do? You just hate me, right?”_

『 _S-sure, the rest of my life. I get it, so what should I do?_ 』  
  
_“Call me… by my name.”_

『 _Eh? I do call you, Junko-chan._ 』  
  
_“No that. No honorifics. I want to be the only one you call that way. Call everyone else -chan, I want to be the only one you address by name. Since you're My Misogi after all."_

『 _You’re as egotistical as ever… Junko_.』  
  
_“It’s not egotistical if it’s true that I’m just plain better than everyone, Misogi. In fact accurately assessing my good points without down playing them or exaggerating them is just a sign of how humble and down to earth I am.”_  
  
『 _I'm already starting to regret this._ 』   
  
_"That's good, fall into despair and regret the day you ever met me."  
  
_ 『 _Well you are pretty despair inducing, but there's no way I could regret that._ 』   
  
That conversation they had in bed, just before they left that old world together. That conversation they had with the horrifying looking stuffed rabbit between them in this new fake world. Both of those played in her head as she stared at the rabbit, gifts Kumagawa had given her, one terrible looking rabbit, and absolute obedience for life. She was still not quite sure how she had gotten to this point, cause and effect did not flow normally whenever Kumagawa was involved.  
  
The world became absurd, meaningless, and without direction and it had already been plenty absurd, meaningless and directionless to begin with. Just for a few moments though while she had held him, and his terrible gift in her arms, she had felt it too, as if the world was orbiting around just the two of them. It was a bit different from her usual egotistical delusion that the world had been designed to operate in her favor and revolve around her. It was like the world consisted of only the two of them for a few moments, the quick and nervous breaths from Misogi against her skin, the way his body trembled against her, his rough and shaggy hair tickling her, the warmth between them, it was like her world consisted of all those small, subtle little things, and she had always thought she was more of a fan of bombast.  
  
In the present moment, Enoshima Junko was merely staring at the rabbit which had been left behind on the bed after Misogi retreated to Hinata’s cabin. Actually, how long had she spent staring at this one rabbit? A few minutes? That was like forever in Junko time.  
  
Just then behind her, Kirigiri Kyoko spoke up. “How long are you going to take? Did you find the papers to prove your claims?”  
  
“It… it’s nothing…” Enoshima Junko took one last regretful look at the rabbit, before tossing it aside back onto the bed. Whatever quiet unreadable emotion that was in her expression disappeared entirely, nobody in the world would ever see what had came and went on her face as she immediately resumed playing the brat when she turned around to face Kirigiri. “Jeez, miss Edogawa, I’m supposed to be the impatient one. I know we’re foils and all but back off my character traits, I don’t like sharing.” She said as she lifted a pillow and pulled out the files which Monokuma had given her.  
  
It would be fine, she concluded. He would probably come back to her eventually. After all, this world was hers, and she had been so generous as to share it with him. Just thinking of him was making her heart start to tremble, she looked at her own fingers for a moment. An empty hand with nothing held with in it, fingers too wide apart with nothing laced between them or interlinking, disconnected. _What vigorous weakness,_ she thought studying every detail of that hand.

 

 ♛

 

The memory replayed in his head over and over again, as if his whole life was contained within that stretch of time that lasted barely longer than a minute.  
  
It was hard to blame him for valuing such a special stretch of time. After all, his life before that point had been of shockingly little consequence. He lived a life unmarked by any special people, special accomplishments, or special moments of connection, only a series of disjointed trauma brought about by a predictable pattern of probability. The end result of his entire life was probably only going to be much much shrapnel would splinter off from him and fly into others when he finally broke apart, and exploded. He was nothing more than a walking time bomb after all, and every time the hand of the clock swung forward tick, tock, in even rhythmn towards good or bad luck he risked his final explosion.  
  
That was why he had wanted to put everything on the line. To confront that overwhelming girl Enoshima Junko, against all odds, and most likely die trying to stop the spread of the greatest despair.

 _Is that what I wished for?_ _  
_ _Hey…_ _  
_ _I was happy in that moment wasn’t I?_ _  
_ _In that underground hideout, underneath the Kamukura statue._ _  
_ _I finally met somebody like myself._ _  
_ _Another reaper._ _  
_ _From the moment I saw her, I knew Ensohima Junko’s true form._ _  
_ _Just like me she was a skeleton deceptively wrapped in human flesh._ _  
_ _She had spent her whole life waiting to die._ _  
_ _Just a walking corpse, compelled to live on a little bit longer by her own selfishness._ _  
_ _A shinigami, her very presence summoned death, just like me._ _  
_ _I was really happy having met her._ _  
_ _Did I want her to kill me?_

“I pray you can avoid my beating you, so you become a despair that makes all of them shine.”

 _Oh, that’s right I said that._ _  
_ _Do I ever listen when I talk?_ _  
_ _I can’t help it, my voice is so unpleasant, all that leaves my lips is inelegant cacophonous noise._

In the disney movie, Cinderella only went to the ball once, but in the original story she appeared for several nights in a row, and danced with the prince each night. Only to have to run away at midnight each night. Yet, she kept coming back, and the prince kept dancing with her over and over again even though he knew his time would be brief, and it would only end in loss.  
  
He was nothing like a disney princess, he was not Naegi and he was sure no amount of magic could change him in any way to make him even slightly appealing, and he was no good at dancing either, but if he had to pick a reason why this memory kept replaying in his head he was sure it was something like that. Even if it was only for a time of less than a minute, even if it ended with him being shot, he just wanted to dance again.

Generally he was an empty person, there was just too many cracks within him, so it had all drained from him, every experience that could be contained within him, happiness, love, friendship, all those things which made humans humans had turned to liquid and seeped away from his many cracks and fissures across his body from resulting trauma. Thus, he was empty, and alone. Next, his mind would be blended up, and that too eventually would seep through the cracks as well, he was already starting to lose memories, they sloshed around in his head as he tried to recall them, blended together, and then seeped out of every orifice, his ears, his eyes, his mouth, his two nose holes. When it all drained out of him, when his insides finally melted away then he really would be a corpse, not just a walking corpse.  
  
Yet, in that moment his hollowed out near corpse of a self was suddenly full. It was like liquids of all colors had suddenly poured into his shell of a self. It was too much, too much sensation all at once, too much feeling, he was not used to feeling anything but hollow recently. He turned around to the source of all those feelings but it was too late, his grasp of reality was slipping. His heart pounded, and for a moment he was so overwhelmed he feared it might stop.  
  
No, it was the opposite. His heart had been dead for a long time, and suddenly it felt like it was beating again for the first time in awhile. Blood was being forced through his walking corpse of a body, forcing all the liquids to be pumped out. He turned around suddenly and snapped the gun in the direction of the other. He tried to pull his finger on the trigger, but he heistated because suddenly at the sight of the other boy his finger went numb.  
  
Red eyes, that pierced straight through him, and endless tangles of black hair. He wondered for a moment if the reason he had felt like such a half baked existence until this point was because he was waiting for the other half, the black yin to his white yang. That was a ridiculous thought to somebody he had just met though. Those red eyes were burning, with a warmth and life Komaeda had never seen before because he belonged to the land of the dead after all. They burned a hole straight through him, and he could feel the liquids that were being pumped through his body for the first time seeping out of him.

“Who are you?”

  
“...”  
  
Click.  
  
“It’s jammed?”  
  
The boy with crimson eyes disappeared, but Komaeda’s ears could pick up the faint noises of his movements. When he did, he heard those colors all around him. Where had the liquids gone? They had seeped out of him, and splashed all around him leaving the entire world dyed in their colors.

The other boy moved so quickly, Komaeda as he turned his head could only see the tail ends of his long hair flowing around him. He quickly chased the sight of the other boy, and the colors that followed him, not wanting a beautiful sight like that to disappear from his world so suddenly. The crimson eyed boy moved so fast though, it was like a change in the wind, he felt his hair rustle slightly and more than that as he passed his side, a tickling of the place behind his ear, and a touch at his side. He wondered for a moemnt if this is what it felt like, to be embraced, to has his lover’s breath blown at his ear, it was a sensation he was never going to feel though as nobody would hold something as broken and jagged as him so gently, allowing him to come so close to vulnerable parts. It would be either with caution  or not at al.  
  
He realized his body was moving in a distinct rhythmn with the other boys, he was turning to follow the other boy, like the boy was leading him in a dance. Just as he did, and caught the sight of the boy’s face once again he leaned forward to whisper in his ear. “If it’s good luck, I have that too.” An intimate secret shared between the two of them, from his lips, to the other boy’s ear. The other boy was blue, and he was colored red, against the many colored background, that was what it seemed like to him of course, he could not quite place why it just seemed that way to him, and those two were complementary colors. They would look nice against each other. 

The gun was snatched away from his hand for a second, and as the boy stepped behind him he slid his fingers around Komaeda’s hip, and pulled him back just a little bit as if to dip him and hold in suspense just before the climax of their dance. Komaeda looked in front of him, and saw that the many colors were floating around him like bubbles. The liquid like feelings inside of him, after pouring out they had bubbled up and floated away. That’s how he had always imagined happiness to be anyway, fragile like bubbles, it could pop at any moment. Once it popped there was no trace it ever existed in the first place, to the point where you thought you were better off it, and yet when it floated through the air light reflected off of it in such a beautiful way you could not help but reach for it.  
  
Just as he had finally been able to let out the breath he had been holding all this time ever since that boy appeared in front of him, suddenly he heard the cocking of the gun and the entire moment popped just like a bubble. Whatever was shared between them in that moment disappeared as suddenly as it appeared, and the bullet tore through the air, through the front pocket his uniform and straight into his chest.  
  
He was shot through the heart, and as he did all the colors melted away from that world. In that one moment though, he had felt more alive than he had in the past year.

 _Did I want to die, right then?_ _  
_ _Yes._ _  
_ _I wanted to die as a pointless sacrifice to Enoshima Junko._ _  
_ _When I saw something so beautiful, I thought for sure I would die because I never deserved to live long enough to witness such beauty in the first place._ _  
_ _But I messed up._ _  
_ _I didn’t die._ _  
_ _Because I didn’t die I went on to do terrible things, as Enoshima Junko’s servant._ _  
_ _If only I had died right then, I would have been an innocent dying for the sake of hope._ _  
_ _I might have even been mourned in my death,_ _  
_ _My classmates might have expressed some regret I was no longer around even if we never got around._ _  
_ _But, let’s say I had died._ _  
_ _Then… I never would have met him._

The moment always seemed to replay in his head, as if he had been both reborn and died again all within a single moment. He dreamt about it many times, it was the only evidence he could cling to of that pitch black person missing from his memories.  
  
Yet, the dream always ended with him falling backwards after being shot in the heart and waking up. Just as he woke up, he reached out for the memory of the pitch black red eyed boy only for that boy to walk away and disappear. He did not blame him. It was arrogant of him to reach out in the first place, hubris like Icarus reaching towards the sun, and he was much more shoddily constructed than those wings there was not even wax holding him together, ther ewas no way he would ever be able to hold hope within his fingertips there was nothing he could hold in hs hands after all, but he still could not help himself from reaching towards that brilliant light. This time was different. He fell backwards and lay on the ground and he saw from all around him fires were lighting up.  
  
This time the boy disappeared but he saw another shadow standing in his place.  When he reached out for him, Komaeda saw that it was Hinata who stood at the edge of his little world and was reaching back for him. In the distance, he heard something falling. He looked up and saw a sky above him, a patchwork sky that looked just about to crumble. The sky was going to fall on him and squish him down. Hinata noticed as well and started to run towards him. Hinata was not a brilliant light like the sun that could burn away any threat, in fact he was quite dim, and weak. All that would result was him getting crushed by the sky.

Komaeda did not mind if he was burned trying to cradle hope in his hands, but if Hinata was burned and had shrapnel tear through his flesh as a result of Komaeda’s eventual and inevitable combustion he would never forgive himself. He screamed at Hinata to go away, that he hated him and he was too weak to save anybody, but he could not scream because there was tape covering his mouth. All of his screams died in his throat, just like him and Hinata were about to. Squashed by the sky. This had all happened because he wished for it.  
  
As Hinata ran towards him though, he ran so fast that the wind tore away at his flesh. It was like Hinata melted away, and became covered in a black ink. That black ink spread around his entire body for a moment, and then Hinata rushed through it dyed an entirely different color from the ink. He was no longer wearing a white button up school shirt, but rather a black uniform with a red tie, and his hair fell in long black, inky tendrils all the way to his ankles. As he ran his hair seemed to splash black ink around him, but he was not all dark, lighting up his body was a pair of red eyes.  
  
He became an entirely new person, just so he could save him. He threw everything away about himself, and then ran straight through the ashes, dyed black by them. He was reborn and then threw his body over Komaeda’s. The sky fell and pierced straight through his back, and he leaked ink onto Komaeda’s body, but he stood strong against it. Unlike the sky and the world both of which were easily broken, he was unbreakable now. Such a powerful being had protected him…? That was impossible. There was no way somebody that strong would protect somebody this weak. Strong hopes devoured weak hopes after all, there was no point in cradling a flame as weak as his so close to his chest when something as small as a single breath could extinguish him.

Yet, that body was arched over his. As he saw that body on top of his, Komaeda thought something disgusting. It would feel nice to have their bodies overlap, to have him on top of him like this always, to hold him into the night that strong back protecting him. He would not mind being devoured by this person, if it meant he could dwell inside his body. He reached up to touch Hinata, crouched over him, still protecting him. Only for that body to collapse on top of him.  
  
No.  
He had done it.  
He had broken the only person willing to protect him.  
There was no way right? He was so weak, there was no way he could ever hurt somebody so strong.  
  
Komaeda Nagito woke up in a cold sweat, desperately gasping for air as he had been pulled so deep, and so vividly into his dreams it had been like drowning in them. The idea of hurting Hinata was so terrifying to him, it had immediately dragged him to the surface. However, whatever moment of relief he might have felt after regaining his breath was ruined by his recollection.

 _That’s right._ _  
_ _I did hurt Hinata._ _  
_ _Because of my plan, he was run through with a spear._ _  
_ _It’s my fault, I’m the obsession he can’t let go of, I’m the white whale that’s going to drag him to his death._ _  
_ _He’d be so much better if he stopped thinking about me._ _  
_

However, there was no way a normal person could have withstood an injury like that. He was not shrug off a seppuku, Hitoyoshi Zenkichi. Though, Zenkichi died in the end too, another thing that was his fault, another person that was dragged into oblivion by his own obsession. He had been watching Hinata silently all day after this though, and even a great deal into the night he watched Hinata’s small movements in his sleep when Komaeda had been kept up by his own swirling thoughts.  
  
So then, how did Hinata survive that? In his dream Hinata’s form had peeled away and he saw somebody else appaer for a moment. He wondered if that dream was not a dream so much as a memory mixed in with a dream. Now that he thought about it, just for a moment he had seen a bright flash in Hinata’s eyes, a red color appear suddenly like a switch had been flipped and a light had been turned on. Hinata’s eyes that were usually dull and colorless suddenly became vivid and full of color. Just in that moment, Komaeda swear he had seen somebody else overaid over Hinata’s body, standing in his place.  
  
That was probably just him being crazy though, right?  
Hinata was Hinata, he would not be somebody else.  
And, that boy from the past with the crimson eyes had thought so little of him, he scrubbed Komaeda clean of any recollection from him. He must have been disgusted by the idea of Komaeda remembering him. There is no way he would have ran in front of a falling spear, thrown himself in front of the sword of damocles and been impaled by it to save him.

Apparently, his troubled breathing had woken Hinata up. He saw the other boy, curled in the corner of the room stir and lift his head. He had fallen asleep hugging his own knees, leaning against the wall. Apparently he had meant to monitor Komaeda through the night, but he was so tired from his injury he had fallen asleep first and Komaeda ended up monitoring him.  
  
On the floor other side of the room Kumagawa had flopped down like a careless dog, one of those big shaggy black ones with all of his limbs spread out and fallen asleep like he owned the place. Ikusaba Mukuro had curled up right next to him. She looked like a child who had crawled into an older sibling’s bed in the middle of the night after a nightmare. Pekoyama was curled up right next to Hinata, gripping her sword even in her sleep. Her head had fallen on his shoulders on accident, and it made Komaeda feel an ugly emotion seeing somebody else get so close as to rest their head into the crevasses of Hinata’s body. Hinata’s awkwardly shaped curves were meant for him and only him ot fit into, like they were both malformed puzzle pieces, he was the only one who wanted to explore the exact shapes of every dip and crevasse in Hinata’s body.

He knew that there was nothing between those two, it was just his own ugly and petty thoughts. Not only were his thoughts loud and annoying, it seemed even his breathing was such an ugly noise that it had woken up Hinata. The boy had already taken a few quiet steps across the room so not as to wake anyone else.  
  
He reached forward, and Komaeda flinched. Several times in the past, he would wake up his parents with crying from his nightmares, only to be smacked and told not to disturb them, because even his crying produced a terrible, ugly, wailing sound. Yet, Hinata noticed his flinch and hesitated only for a moment, before reaching down to a cloth which had been kept by the bed and leaning over him to gently wipe the sweat off his forehead.  
  
He went even further then his forehead, the cloth traveling down to wipe the gentle slopes of his face. Then, the line of his chin, and further dipping into his collar bone. Komaeda had been undressed except for a loose hanging t shirt and a pair of boxers, and because of that Hinata’s hands were easily able to travel underneath his shirt. He wiped his chest, as it rose up and down with shallow breaths. Komaeda felt if he was not careful his breath would catch in his throat, and he would just create more problems for Hinata to look after him.  
  
He wanted to slap Komaeda’s hand away from him, to scream at him until he left him alone but he could not, because the point at which Hinata touched him felt so warm. Hinata leaned over him then and reached for the end of his shirt, pulling it slowly off of his head. Then, in slow methodical circles Hinata’s hand with the washcloth traveled to his back, and wiped the sweat off of his back as well.  
  
Even though Komaeda described himself as a corpse, he strangely felt pain at all times, chronic pain. He wondered if dying was meant to be so painful. When he was younger he imagined death was an escape from pain, but he had found dying to be the opposite. His back was twisted up in all sorts of unpleasant knots, and his muscles rubbed and agitated each other with every twitch of movement he tried to make. It’s not like he ever did anything hard, or struggled in any great way like say Hitoyoshi Zenkichi had in order to build such a muscular body, or he had never been tormented with pain the same way Kumagawa MIsogi had, so he wondered why the simple act of living doing nothing useful at all was so painful for him.  
  
In that moment though, it was like Hinata’s hands on his backs in their smooth circular motions were untying those many jagged knots. He was sure he was like barbed wire knotted up, untying him would be pointless and only cause your hands pain, and yet Hinata reached out for him and tried to do so anyway. He felt himself becoming undone at Hinata’s touch, and embarrasingly enough a small moan escaped from his lips.  
  
Komaeda suddenly slapped his hands over his lip, his face turning a shade of red. Hinata however did not seem to notice the reason why and leaned over him again inspecting his face. “Hey, there’s finally some kind of color in your skin for once…” He took a step forward, and suddenly pressed his forehead against Komaeda’s. “You’re not feeling feverish are you?”

Too much, he was feeling too much, and he was too close, he would burn up if he was this close to the warmth. Komaeda gasped and retreated to the farthest corner of his bed.  
  
“Jeez, I didn’t know you hated being touched by me so much.” Hinata balled up Komaeda’s shirt and threw it back to him. “Well, it’s not a fever at least. What are you thinking about that’s got you sweating so bad, and turning so read all of a sudden…”

Komaeda did not answer. He had been doing a good job of biting his tongue so far. In fact, he thought the last few hours were the most tolerable he’s ever been, because he did not say a single ugly word or let a terrible noise part his lips. He thought he was doing a good job, but he knew it would not last forever.  
  
“Feels warm…” He muttered, his hand traveling through the air and grasping at Hinata. He really was so weak, if he melted at something as simple as a touch. His jagged pieces were not even held together by wax. Just like he had in his memory with the red eyed boy, he reached after Hinata’s retreating form as he went to put the washcloth away. He saw Hinata’s image disappear from in between the gaps between his finger tips.  
  
Then, something strange happened, Hinata turned around and reached out for his hand as well. The moment he did, he knew reaching out his hand had been a mistake, but he just could not help himself. Hinata interwined his fingers between Komaeda’s. “This is just like the last time you were sick, I had to hold your hand at the hospital on your bedside until you fell asleep.”  
  
“You did that?” Komaeda asked. Truth be told he did not remember his time in the hospital well, only that he had almost died. For some reason, death was the only distinct thing that showed up in his memory, perhaps because he thought so much about it it seemed like a familiar old friend.  
  
“Yeah… why you always gotta be… so much trouble…” HInata yawned, as he fell back asleep just a few moments later.  
  
“I’m sorry, Hinata-kun…” Komaeda said, clinging to the hand that was falling off his bedside. “I won’t say anything else, I’ll shut up again, I won’t do anything else, I won’t make this any worse.”  
  
“No… don’t… I like your worse... “ Hinata muttered, one of his eyes opening. It seemed he was still awake after all.

That made no sense, grammatically or otherwise. He wondered if Hinata’s sleepiness had gotten to him, but then it occured to Komaeda that even if he was fully awake he was sure Hiata would have said something just as stupid in a desperate attempt to comfort him. It was not the words that did not make sense, or the sentiment, it was just Hinata himself. He was incomprehensible. In the sense that Komaeda could not comprehend Hinata caring for him this much, past the point of reason. It was a weakness, a blind spot that would only hurt him in the end. Yet, he clung to that hand all the same, because he was quite weak too.

 

 ♛

 

 

“Come on man, you have to tell us what happened with the bombs and everything else. Did Junko put you up to it?”  
  
That morning, they had gathered around his bedside. Pekoyama, Kumagawa and Hinata with Komaeda in the center while Ikusaba watched from outside.

“It wasn’t my fault.” Komaeda said, looking at them and blinking pretending to be oblivious.

『Hey, that’s my line.』Kumagawa said, pouting.  
  
They had been trying to question him for hours, but in usual Komaeda stylings, the conversation had become completely circular and nonsensical. They wandered around forever in wide lazy circles that took a great deal of effort, and yet they had not once found any result or anything substantial of why Komaeda did what he did, or who put him up to it.  
  
In all fairness, some of them realized by now that at least Komaeda sometiems did not understand why he did the things he did, and sometimes even he wanted to stop doing them just as much as the other people around him. However, the plan was too calculated, every step had been too pre planned to just simply chalk this stunt up to Komaeda being Komaeda. It was a legitimate murder attempt, and Komaeda had even gone so far as to blame Junko for it but he refused to elaborate on any more details.  
  
When they asked what he knew about the traitor, and what had upset him so much about it too he kept similarly tight lipped. Eventually, Pekoyama lost her patience and drew her sword placing it at his neck. “That’s enough, perhaps this will add clarity to your situation. You tried to kill everybody on the island, tell us why?”  
  
Hinata immediately stumbled back in surprise, not sure how to handle this situation. His only friends on this island were Pekoyama and Nagito after all, and he did not want to choose between one or the other. “H-hey, wait. Don’t take it seriously Nagito, she’s just kidding around… right Peko?”  
  
“It hurts, it hurts, it hurts just a little bit to have my beloved classmate threatening me in such a way, but I’ll never tell. You’re the one who should stop joking around Pekoyama-san, you’re Yakuza aren’t you? If you really want me to spit it out… You should try torturing me or something. Maybe you could cut my pinky finger off...or pluck out one of my eyes with the tip of your sword. If you’re not willing to fill me with despair then…there no way my hope will ever bre-....gh... ” Pekoyama pressed hairder with the sword, she was threatening him with the dull end of the blame so the only result was his throat getting slightly compressed.  
  
Kumagawa Misogi yawned at Komaeda’s typical switch into his more manic state. 『You’ve never been tortured before have you, Nagito-chan? As usual you’re all talk.』He walked forward and grabbed Pekoyama’s sword by the blade with his bare hand, not noticing how he was cut by it as he pushed it away. 『Peko-chan let me handle this. The yakuza are much too gentle, killing quickly like that the point of torture is prolonged repeated pains, scooping out your eyes or stabbing you would risk you dying too much.』  
  
Kumagawa reached forward and grabbed Komaeda gently by the hand. He brought Komaeda’s pale hand to his mouth, and kissed the very tip of his skeleton like finger. Then, he changed in an instant and bit at the nail, ripping it off.  
  
Komaeda ripped his hand away, and screamed out in pain. This time there was no duct tape to suppress his screams, and he could not pretend to love pain like Kumagawa he was an inferior minus. He sucked on his bare finger like a child, hoping it would go numb and he would not be able to feel anything. No matter how many times he had been hurt in the past though, no matter how much his body was on the brink of dying he had never gone numb. He always felt too much all at once. Even though he was an empty vessel he was constantly overflowing.

『What? You were just ready to be tortured a moment ago? This is what you wanted isn’t it? You have more finger nails, and then after that  there are twenty seven bones in your hands that I can break one by one. I can finally make you happy Nagito-chan, you can suffer and endure and prove to everybody just how strong your hope is!』  
  
No matter how much he tried to push Kumagawa Misogi down, to repress this shadow, to push his head in the depths of murky water and drown him in it, Kumagawa always seemed to push back, and push up even stronger. That was the stubborn fact of his existence, weak things were supposed to bow down and serve as stepping stones to the strong, but no matter how many times Kumagawa was knocked down he would always stand up on his own.  
  
He had no idea why. Why keep persisting on like that? Why live clinging to life like that when you were nothing but stupid and ugly? When your entire life amounted to nothing, netiher hope nor despair.  His hands were so weak too, but Kumagawa still always managed to hold onto.

“...I… my hope isn’t strong.... It’s weak…”

Kumagawa’s hand reached for him. His entire body seemed to disappear in shadow, with his hand reaching out from it. Like the enemies in the zelda games that dropped down from the ceiling that only consisted of severed hands, those had always terrified Komaeda when he played ocarina of time.『No, no, no, Nagito-chan, you’ve been spoiled too much by your good luck up until this point, I’m sure if you suffer now, two, or three more nails, three or four broken bones your hope will become stronger.』  

“N… no, I don’t want to suffer pointlessly. I… I’ll apologize so...”

『You’ve only ever suffered pointlessly, there’s no such thing as enduring pain with a purpose or being strong for the sake of something.』    
  
As Kumagawa’s hand reached for him, Komaeda could only close his eyes in terror. Kumagawa and Junko had quite similar auras, but now that he thought about it it was how Kumagawa could flip between being kind one moment and cruel the next that made him much more terrifying than her. At least Junko was consistently cruel. No, perhaps that was just a projection on his part, projecting his flaws onto Kumagawa once more.  
  
His eyes cracked open when he heard a slap. Hinata had finally moved again suddenly, striking Kumagawa across the face and getting him to stumble a few steps back. “I think I have the general idea of what you’re going for right now, but your methods are far too cruel!” Hinata said, standing in between Kumagawa and Komaeda, his shoulders high, his chest raised, his entire body defensive.  


Kumagawa wiped the red of his cheek.『Ah, you’re probably right. It’s my fault, I’ll apologize. There’s no way that trash like me could have possibly led Komaeda to the right conclusion, I’m sorry.』    
  
Pekoyama let out the breath she had been holding. She had felt she was to blame for starting this entire mess of a situation, when she knew Komaeda was fragile and prone to jumping to extremes in his normal state not to mention his panicked one, and she still did not trust Kumagawa among them yet she had acted rashly. She readjusted her grip on her sword, wondering why she had acted so coldly to a classmate she still wanted to befriend and someone precious to HInata.

Hinata however, did not even see her fault in this and pinned the blame entirely on Kumagawa. Even though really, all three of them were quite messy, and only made each other messier as they interacted.  
  
“You’re right, you should probably go outside with Ikusaba and stop trying to help Nagito, you’re only going to make him twisted like you are.” Hinata said, coldly glaring at the other boy.  
  
“No… nothing he said was wrong. It’s my fault.” Komaeda said in a quiet voice.

『No, it was my fault.』    
  
“You see why you two can’t be around each other! You both just keep aggravating each other on and it always turns into this!” Hinata snapped between the two of them.  
  
Komaeda even in a quiet voice did not waver. “No… I need to tell you why. I need to explain to Hinata-kun, so you can understand how this is all my fault, so you can understand the person I am and give up on me… I’ll explain it… I will try my best this time…”

“Nagito…”  
  
“The reason things turned out like this, I always thought that I was the strongest supporter of hope, that I could sacrifice myself to make other people’s hope burn brighter, but I realized I was looking to other people as an excuse. It’s just my own hope is quite weak.”

“Wha…?” Hinata thought Komaeda was going to explain himself, but he seemed to be launching into another hope ramble again. "Wait no... y-you good... dying bad..." He stuttered out some kind of encouragement before just gritting his teeth hard to stop himself from saying anything worse.   
  
It was Kumagawa who listened. 『Nagito-chan. Can you tell me, what do you think the difference between strong hope and weak hope is?』    
  
“Strong hope, is selfless it provides for others. Weak hope is selfish, it only clings to others, it only cares about what they provide for him, ittle brat demanding others give them everything when he can’t do a single damn thing for himself.”

『I wouldn’t say that. You’re capable of a lot, you set up that bomb, and set up several traps and predicted what we’d all do in advance.』    
  
“What good was any of that though… that was just hurting people. That’s entirely worthless.”

『What is worth while to you then?』    
  
“Helping others. Being something for others, but I’m nothing. All I ever cared about was wanting the world to be safer for me, for people to be kinder so they would be kind for me, I wanted them to be happy because I felt like their happiness would be my happiness…I just felt entitled that’s what it was…”

『I don’t think it’s wrong to be entitled. People who are starved, feel entitled to a good meal when they’re finally rescued yes? I think it’s the same thing with people who are starved for happiness… Thinking ‘I deserve to be happy’ after you were miserable for so long isn’t a bad thing. Anybody would feel that way.』    
  
“No… even if I was starving that doesn’t justify what I did. If I was stronger, I should have been able to put up with it, to suffer the right way, but I was weak and suffered in an ugly way. You’re different… Pekoyama-san, even though you suffered you turned it into a beautiful talent.”  
  
“I…” Pekoyama was suddenly dragged into the conversation. “I hurt others too, Nagito.” 

“So what, you hurting others is the natural way of things. The strong devouring the weak. But a weak person like myself felt entitled to more, and besides even after losing your greatest hope you’re still striving to help Hinata-kun. You’ve helped him far more than I have, but I stole all the credit, and all of his affection because I’m so greedy after all.”  
  
“Nagito… Hajime doens’t work that way, people don’t have a limited amount of affection. That’s what Fuyuhiko wanted me to learn, he wanted me to care about other people besides him and branch out so my world would expand instead of consisting entirely of him…”  
  
“See, it’s because you’re such a good person, I don’t understand what you’re saying at all.”

『Nagito-chan. Do you think it’s bad to be weak?』    
  
“Yes…” Komaeda answered, his eyes as clear as the sky in the middle of the day for once. Unlike Pekoyama, he seemed to truly understand and look at Kumagawa, one minus to another. The closest Komaeda had ever come to finding an equal, if only an equal in his wretchedness. 

『Why? It’s okay if you ramble a little bit, I’m stupid but I’ll do my best to listen.』    
  
“Because, weak people don’t know their place… they’re always clinging to others, clinging to people stronger than them, and they feel nothing but resentment for the strong. You’re just like that too… you just can’t accept your fate in life you blame everybody around you and hurt them and try to drag them to your level.”

『What’s wrong with resentment though? If somebody kicks you shouldn’t you feel bad?』    
  
“There was probably a reason you were kicked… it will probably lead to something better later, and there’s a way you can be useful to others even if you’re weak…”

『Nagito-chan, you’re always looking towards the future. I think that’s a good quality of yours, but you should also feel what you feel in the moment. If you’re in pain, I don’t think there’s any higher reason for it, it’s just pain. It sucks how badly you were treated in life. I don’t think reacting badly to pain will make you a bad person...』    
  
“What will it make me?” 

『Just a person.』    
  
“I don’t know how to live on as a person… I don’t know what living as a person means.”

『Even so, I think you should live.』    
  
“You always say that, live, live, live, but you never say for what. I’m not like you, I need a reason.”

『Hmm, what about boobies? Oh, you don’t like girl’s breasts, well Hinata’s boobs are pretty good too.』  

“Wait, what!?” Hinata said, snapping out of his funk.

『Sorry, Nagito-chan. I don’t really know what reasons there are to keep living, but I think there are as many different reasons to live as there are people on this earth so when you find yours, I’ll be there and I’ll hold out my hand for you, okay?』    
  
Hinata had been trying to divine Kumagawa’s true nature for quite awhile, but he thought he grasped it in that moment. All of that pain made him easily able to understand the pain of others. He seemed to bleed empathy, though Kumagawa himself was not always aware of that quality. All of that pain and suffering made him kind he wanted to understand the suffering of others similar to him, but it made him cruel as well. He was both things at once, a mix of black and white, and never entirely one way or the other.

  
The words he wanted to use to reach out to Komaeda, they had been caught at the back of his throat, but Kumagawa had been able to speak them so easily. They were both so weak, both reserve course students, so what was the difference…  
  
Just as he was sinking deeper into that thought, Pekoyama pulled him aside. “I’m worried about you, my friend Hajime.”  
  
“Huh? Worried about me? Nagito’s the one you should be worried about, not me.”  
  
“Hajime, you do realize that you were stabbed not but one day ago. While it was a noble and selfless act, you’ve also barely taken any concern for your own health.”  
  
“I well… you don’t need that much blood do you? People in anime lose a lot of blood all the time and they just shrug it off, I’m sure I can be like that.”

“Hinata, what I’m most concerned about is that… Nagito for you is becoming what Fuyuhiko was for me.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Even though you two are always spending so much time together, you fail to undestand each other, and you continually fear losing one another correct?”  
  
“Y...yeah.”  
  
“So, what will you do if you lose Nagito?”  
  
“That’s not going to happen!”  
  
“Yes, I know you’re fighting quite hard to hold onto him. If you were to lose him though, I fear you’ll lose yourself and end up like me. I… think there’s a lot similar between us.”  
  
“What are you saying?”  
  
“You’re a total tool.”  
  
“Hey, I’ve got feelings you know! Maybe they’re stupid feelings and I don’t really understand them half the time, but they are definitely there.”  
  
“No, what I meant to say is you define yourself by your use to others. When people are not looking at you, you disappear. That is how I am as well, but I wonder how will we maintain ourselves if the person we are most used by disappears? Do you think you could live on without Nagito at this point.”  
  
“I…” Hinata hesitated. “I… don’t know… Look it’s not even worth thinking about, it’s never going to happen, okay!” Hinata sapped, anger and denial seeping into his voice.  
  
“I see. You’re right, my apologies. I want to support you Hajime, but in the end I just keep clinging to you. I was probably not even afraid for your well being, just about losing my own support.”  
  
“What…? Look, I don’t care about supporting you okay! What’s wrong with being clingy! Nothing! You can cling to me as much as you want, okay? If that’s what you need to keep going, then do it as many times as you want.”  
  
Had he said the right thing?  
Had he said what he wanted to say?  
As he saw the melancholy on Pekoyama’s expression mixed in with the small smile she gave him, he still did not know the answer to either of those questions. To him, her face was still completely unreadable.  
  
Kumagawa walking through noticed Pekoyama right then. 『You’ve got such lively eyes, Peko-chan.』  
  
“Huh?”

『Well, the expression on your face is always so restrained you express everything with your eyes. Right now, Hajime-chan is at the center of them, they’re so full of energy like the way bright red blood pulsing through you means you’re alive, something like that..』

“Oh… thanks…”

He had not even noticed that. How had Kumagawa of all people been able to read Pekoyama at this moment but he did not. Hinata looked back at Kumagawa. “Did you get Komaeda to explain what happened?”

『Oh, no I didn’t.』  
  
“Huh? After causing all that fuss!”

『I think it’s fine. I like Nagito-chan the way he is, I don’t need to understand him, he doesn’t need to confront anything as long as he stays Nagito-chan. Sometimes, it’s better for a metaphor to stay a metaphor, or a sieve to stay a sieve, not everything needs to be explained.』  
  
Hinata Hajime groaned. “Yeah, that sounds convenient for a guy who likes to hide things.” Among all those messy children, things remained messy and unclear.  


♛

 

_“Oh, you’re going to talk to Medaka-chan now what are you doing collecting a harem now that Kumagawa-kun isn’t around?”_

“Sssh, you…” Enoshima Junko said, tapping her forehead with her extended finger.

Kirigiri Kyoko tilted her head behind Junko. “Why do you keep talking to yourself? Does that have something to do with the personality changing gimmick?”  
  
“It’s not a gimmick! That makes it sound so cheap, nothing about me is cheap I’m 100 gucci in all aspects. It’s an interesting personality trait, actually it’s several interesting personality traits anyway…” Enoshima Junko pushed the door open. “Here we are!”

Kurokami Medaka had been waiting for them in her cabin. Enoshima had been avoiding her for a good week, until the incident with Komaeda’s failed bombing attempt. After all she had heard from Kumagawa about the time Kurokami Medaka punched his face in several times after he had hurt her friend Ajimu in middle school, and she quite liked her pretty face, it was her favorite thing about herself, tied with everything else about herself.  
  
She expected Kurokami Medaka to meet her as ferocious as a starving lion, especially with none of her friends around to contain her. However, instead Kurokami Medaka was sitting in the center of the room calmly sipping tea.  
  
“Oh, Enoshima. I was expecting you.”

“What, you can’t say that! You can’t say ‘I was expecting you! That’s my line, that’s a villain’s line!”

“Is that what you came here to say to me?”  
  
“No. You should read this. After you smacked it out of Misogi’s hand, I thought it would be worth some despair.”  
  
She unfolded it and shoved it in the face of the other girl. The suicide note left by Hitoyoshi Zenkichi.  
  
Kurokami’s eyes read it over quickly whether she wanted to or not. The message was not particularly long or anything, in fact it was overly casual, and even a bit stupid the kind of message a try hard idiot like Zenkcihi would leave behind.

 _Don’t be mistaken Medaka-chan. This is not your fault. When you asked me to come to this island with you, I was really really happy that you were counting on me. I decided this one my own. When I realized you were going to kill yourself to protect Kumagawa, I couldn’t let you die just yet, not before you realized your own happiness._ _  
_ _  
_ _That’s why I’m going to kill myself. I don’t think I’m saving anybody, I don’t think my live’s worth that much, and I’m not doing it out of some great selflessness either I just can’t stand the idea of you dying. I want to keep my promise to you, that I’d support you finding your own happiness. Even if it just means me being a stepping stone to let you reach that place._ _  
_ _  
_ _Damn, now I sound like Komaeda._ _  
_ _Ah, I’m getting choked up I better finish this fast._ _  
_ _I should say it quick._ _  
_ _I love you with all of my heart,_ _  
_ _Will you Marry Me?_ _  
_ _I don’t mind dying, because even if I were to be reborn again, I would love you in the next life._ _  
_ _Though, if there is a heaven I’ll stop there to eat Ramen with Shiranui a little bit, I hope you don’t mind._ _  
_ _  
_ _I was really happy having met you. That’s why I want you to find your happiness too. Live, just a little longer until you find your happiness, that’s my selfish request._ _  
_ _  
_ _Your friend and future husband,_ _  
_ _Hitoyoshi Zenkichi._ _  
_ _  
_ After she finished reading the note, Kurokami Medaka crumpled it and turned her head.  
  
Enoshima Junko signed, disappointed. “Jeez, I thought after the trial you might show me something interesting, but I suppose you’re as strong as ever. All that strength is really boring…don’t you even have a soul?”

 _“Like you should be talking, really Junko-chan.”  
_  
“...Say all you want. What is important to me now, is neither blood nor tears.” Kurokami Medaka had already started crying then, and she did not even seem to notice. Her voice was unwavering, her teeth gritting hard against each other like she was baring fangs. “So, you wanted to bargain with me. Just tell me what it is you want.”

“Team up with me and escape this island.”  
  
“Fine, I’ll do it.”  
  
“Wait, what! It’s not supposed to be that easy! God, are you as easy to convince as Kamukura too? I didn’t even get to break out the speech about the ants and shattering the glass. Put up more of a fight so it’s more fun for me.”  
  
_“Junko-chan, you should be careful about mentionoing Kamukura casually, you Hinata-kun and Kumagawa-kun are the only ones who remember it.”_

“God, you’re such a nag. What are you my mother?” Junko snapped at the voice in her head, and the other two girls stared oddly at her. 

_“Well, good thing you’re the kind of self absorbed person who can spend hours talking to herself in a mirror. The others probably won’t notice too much about my presence in your head because of that.”_

“...”  
  
_“It’s best to keep hiding myself from Medaka-chan for now. If she thinks she’s a failed to prevent my death, then she might be driven to interesting places.”_ _  
_

“Oi, I have issues, but you are just as bad.”

“Are you referring to the two of us…” Kurokami Medaka said, crossing her arms and rejoining the conversation. “

_“Junko-chan, you know you can just think back to me in response, instead of answering me aloud right?”_

So, Junko thought back in response. _Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die.Die. Die._

_“Ooooh, scary.”_

“If you are then… you are not incorrect. When I lost Zenkichi, the way I acted was no different from how you.” Kurokami Medaka’s shoulders relaxed slightly. For such a strong girl she seemed to be shaking with emotion in front of the other. “I always thought it was disgust for your actions that made me look away from you, but it was just fear wasn’t it? Fear, that if you stripped away everything I used to destrict myself, my childhood friend, my sense of justice, my family, my want to protect others, that I would end up just like you. I feel like I’ve been fighting myself my entire life, that if I ever let myself flip, I’d become a terrible and violent person who only exists to devour others and devalue their hard work but…” Kurokami Medaka’s eyes sharpened. “I’ve been like that all along, haven’t I? I enjoyed fighting, I said it was to protect people but it was just for myself wasn’t it? Always fighting, always throwing myself into danger, always being in conflicts, it gave me a distraction to prevent me from slipping. Then, I came face to face with you, who was just like the person I was always fight… who was just like me and I couldn’t face you.”  
  
“Are you going to just monologue this the entire time?”  
  
“You’re right. I’m sorry. All I think about is myself in the end. It’s lonely, standing on top of others. I should not have run away from you, but… it was too much for me to accept. Who wants to be told that they’re inherently abusive and are going to hurt the others around them unless they spend all of their time fighting their nature…and then just maybe if they struggle all their lives they’ll be able to feel a little bit like everyone else.”

“Or you could just give in already, I’ve been telling you that was an option this entire time.”  
  
“No, I’ll fight. I’ll fight you.” Kurokami Medaka finally sharpened her gaze and leveled it at her. “Enoshima Junko, I acknolwedge you as my enemy. So, let’s discuss the terms. I need you to tell me something first.”  
  
“Whoa, things are moving along a little fast here don’t you think? Shouldn’t you be all, I’ll never work with you! I mean, you’re supposed to be the hero did everyone forget who they are?”  
  
“Yeah… I think something like that happened. Everybody on this island is lost but… that’s fine, because getting lost is the first step to finding yourself.”  
  
“Quit trying to be optimistic, it’s soooo annoying. Fine, fine, whatever I get it you want to be my bffsies forevers now.”  
  
“Your enemy.”  
  
“God, quit hitting on me! I’m fine with girls of course, but I’m already taken you know.”  Enoshima Junko tilted her head to the side. “Anyway. Whatevs, I’m hot you’re not, we’ve been over this. I’m glad that you’re finally learning from my wonderful example. Fine then, what do you want to know?”  
  
“The bodies. What happens to the bodies, is there any chance we could recover them when we escape this place?”  
  
“What… are you planning a revival? Still trying to save everyone, or do you just want Hitoyoshi-kun back?”  
  
“If it’s possible, I’ll do anything to revive him. If it’s not possible, then I’ll simply wait until he reincarnates and then find him again. Zenkichi told me to find my happiness, and I realized… my happiness… it was the people around me. I was oh so happy with them, not protecting them, not fighting for them, I just like being with them, laughing together, spending time with them. That’s why, I’ll aim for that happiness again. I was always ordering Zenkichi around and making him wait for me so I can stand to wait around for him.”  
  
“Yes, yes, we get it. Your ship has sailed, you’re going to be popping all the bottles in celebration, or popping his cherry, or whatevs can we move on?”  
  
“Enoshima. Is something wrong? Isn’t this what you wanted, to change me?”

_“You can’t accept it can you, because she’s so much like you, but even she was able to change. Kurokami Medaka being rescued. Restless Kuroami Medaka. Kurokami Medaka burning with passion and love. I’m sure you understand it perfectly in your head, but your emotions can’t accept it. Well, it’s something that can’t be helped.”_

“You know for such a strong girl, it’s odd a normal boy like Hitoyoshi-kun would become such a weak point for you. After all, it’s made you decide to work with your worst enemy.”  
  
“Aren’t you the same?”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Is there anything extraordinary about Kumagawa? Yet, it’s not me who is just like you who understood you, or Naegi Makoto who will reach out to anybody and like pretty much anyone who reached out to you. It’s Kumagawa of all people.”  
  
“He’s just special, because he’s all full of despair and stuff…”  
  
“He’s not special, he’s just special to you.”  
  
“Oi! This isn’t about me, this is your character development moment! I don’t care if we’re foils or whatever, the antagonist doesn't have to develop. I’m just here to fall victim and break to the same flaws that make you, the hero stronger.”  
  
“I’m not a hero, and you’re not a villain you know. We’re just both girls after all, talking about boys we like.”  
  
“No, that’s not what this is at all! It’s a legendary showdown between hope and despair, we’re being forced to work together temporarily to fight a greater foe then we’ll turn on each other in the end. It’s like when Vegeta helped Krilliin and Gohan in the saiyan arc.”

“Fine then, let me ask you this. What secret is Kumagawa, hiding?”  
  
“I…”  
  
“Why haven’t you found it out yet? You’re the girl who figures out everything whether she wants to or not. It’s because he’s your blindspot. You don’t want to figure it out do you, you’re too busy distracting yourself with him.”  
  
“I don’t have weaknesses, I’m Enoshima Junko. That’s literally my entire problem is that I’m so much better than everyone else, and it’s so easy for me that it’s boring.”  
  
At that moment, Kurokami Medaka leaned in to whisper. “It’s okay to have weaknesses you know. It’s like I said, standing alone on top of others, being strong, it’s so lonely…”  
  
Enoshima Junko had gotten exactly what she wanted out of Kurokami Medaka and ensured her cooperation, but that girl’s stubborn insistene on trying to empathize with her left her feeling like she had not won or lost. Just that she would make Kurokami Medaka regret ever considering her Enoshima Junko to be human in the end.  
  
Meanwhile, Kirigiri Kyoko standing in the back of the conversation between those two overwhelming girls understanding neither of them. She did feel a certain sense of regret though, that it was probably a bad idea to bring those two on the same side even temporarily.

  
"Well, let's break this game we've all been trapped in. Before I can be happy, I must be free."   
  
"Ugh, you even make breaking things sound boring. Breaking things! Even this your ruin!" 

Kirigiri Kyoko continued to watch them in silence.   
She could not chalk up  her current intuition to her detective skills however, it was probably just common sense.


	45. Survival Strategy (5 Sister x My Sister)

Ikusaba Mukuro stirred in her sleep.  
  
When she opened her eyes she saw the morning light falling through the window, on dirty blonde hair. For a moment she thought her sister might have returned to their room after all and fallen asleep next to her. Even if they did not get along like normal siblings might they had been twins after all, and shared a room practically all of their lives until she left to run away to the middle east three years ago.

However, when she saw the face beneath that messy hair, not her sister’s because the features were too plain, and it was a boy’s face, she immediately remembered the events of last night. She remembered how she had broken several rules of the school and come to spend the night at this hot spring’s resort, sleeping in the same room with Naegi Makoto like they were young lovers on a honeymoon. Ikusaba Mukuro was known to be stoic, even to an inhuman extent but as she suddenly remembered and realized who she was waking up to, red spread on her freckled cheeks.  
  
Weren’t they going a little too fast? Oh, right she was the one who had asked for this. Waking up from the blurry, warm and comfortable haze that had been last night’s memories, and the corona of falling asleep in Makoto’s arms it was a bit hard to piece together what had happened. She did not even want to think about the past, or the future, she just wanted to stay in this one moment forever. She could never remember in her entire life, desiring something for herself outside of her sister. This might have been her first moment of having such a selfish desire, demanding the whole world could stop.  
  
However, in the distance she could hear the ticking of a clock and being quite the pragmatic girl at heart she knew it was impossible. So, she tried to remember again what happened last night, like she was the main character summarizing the solution to a whodunnit murder mystery. First Enoshima Junko had recruited to her side the survival of a middle school massacre turned into a serial killer Takumi Hijirihara who attempted to murder Mukuro while she murdered him as a confession of his love for her as an awesome murderer. However, because she had sworn never to kill again she decided to let Takumi kill her for her sins, planning to use her last breath to confess to Naegi Makoto. However, the true culprit manipulating things behind the scenes Kumagawa Misogi interfered in the fight to give Ikusaba Mukuro a chance to confess. Afterwards, Enoshima Junko in an attempt at petty revenge had swapped out the bathing signs causing Makoto to bathe in the girl’s hot spring, and also lock Makoto and Kumagawa’s room for the night causing him to have to sleep in Mukuro’s room. However, the true, true, culprit Ikusaba Mukuro used that moment while they were alone to pounce wanting to consummate their mutual feelings.  
  
That was quite the tangled scenario of twisted love that brought them together, and that was not even counting all the events that had led up to the hot spring’s murder mystery. That still did not tell Ikusaba Mukuro why she had thought it necessary to move so fast. They had only confessed to each other the other day after all and already they had crossed the line from puppy love to lovers. If she had to give a reason, it was most likely all of her years of experience as a Despair Sister. She knew no moment of happiness would ever last, especially for her who would eventually have to atone for her sins. She was sure sooner or later, even this small happiness that she had managed to gain with Makoto would be taken away and they would be separated. Her hands were stained with too much blood after all, eventually she would be weighted down by all the people she had killed, and if she tried to move on without them their skeleton like hands would reach out for her en masse and drag her into the depths. If it was not justice that came to claim her, then it would be her evil sister who took Makoto away, as she was now an enemy of both justice and evil.  
  
The day she was separated from Makoto, she had already accepted it, and she had also accepted that it was likely Makoto would move on from her and find somebody else. He would love somebody better than her, somebody who was a kind and good person just like her. The truth was Makoto was that kind of personality that was always helping others, and as a side effect there were many girls who had fallen in love with him, like the main character of a harem anime. As jealous as she felt, that was also the reason she had fallen in love with him so she could not hate him for it.  
  
They could not be together forever, and she had not even planned on letting herself be together with him because she knew a despair sister could never love a beacon of hope like Makoto, but Kumagawa had insisted on her being selfish in this one regard. So, she would try to get as much done as possible in the time they had together, knowing better than anyone else how fragile human beings, and human happiness was and that that time would inevitably be short she decided to get everything done as a couple they could in that time.  
  
Perhaps, then when it came time for her to die to redeem herself, Makoto would have moved on from her. If he had done every single thing you could do with a girlfriend with her, then he would hopefully get bored and move on and find someone else. She knew eventually she would be dragged down, but Makoto was such a good boy, capable of giving hope to anyone even a Despair Sister like herself she did not want that goodness of his to cause his downfall, she did not want his tendency to reach out his hand to anyone to cause him to get grabbed onto and dragged down with her. While it was true his softness and naivete was bound to get him hurt eventually, she did not want to be the one to hurt him in that way.

She was a boring and disappointing girl so it was likely that Makoto would get tired of her eventually, it was for the best, he would eventually realize that she could not be saved and withdraw his hand. Yes, that was the best way things could proceed, a mutual break was the only way they could proceed in this relationship without Makoto getting hurt in the end. Yet, she found herself wishing for the opposite.  
  
She had finally begun to desire for more…  
She was capable of being selfish too, just like her sister.

She really hated this selfishness.

Just then, Makoto’s delicate eyelashes, much longer and more feminine than her own fluttered awake. His face was so close to hers, all he could see were the freckles on her cheeks enlarged by his close proximity to her.  
  
“I think I’m sick…” He muttered under his breath.  
  
Mukuro’s normally low pitched and emotionless voice heightened in concern. “Makoto? Makoto, are you alright? Did I do something wrong last night?”  
  
His eyes crossed, blurry, and lovestruck that boy muttered to her. “I think I have freckles fever.”

The tension in Mukuro eased in an instant, and she almost forgot about the heavy thoughts that promise. “Pffffffft. I didn’t expect you to say that, what a weird thing to say.”

“Hey, just because I’m a normal guy doesn’t mean everything I do is normal…” Makoto said.  
  
“That’s true, your taste in girls  is quite abnormal.”  
  
“My taste in? Oh… I guess… because you’re my… now…” The events of last night seemed to be catching up to Makoto too, as the warmth that blurred his mind began to fade away. He quickly started to blush as well, and let go of Mukuro backing up a few centimeters, not really being so bold as he seemed from the moment he woke up. He was bold at times, and not bold at other times. In total he probably had an average amount of boldness compared to everyone else.  
  
“Hey, Makoo can I ask you something?”  
  
“Uh… sure, Iku- I mean Mukuro.”  
  
“What’s your type?”  
  
“My type? I’d probably be a normal type if we’re talking about pokemon.”  
  
“I mean your type of woman.”  
  
“Umm… I dunno… That’s kind of embarrassing to answer… and I’m afraid of answering it the wrong way.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m just trying to figure something out.”  
  
“What is it?”

“When precisely did you fall for me?”  
  
“Uh… that’s hard to answer… and embarrassing too.”  
  
“When we got to know each other as friends, and when I told you my secret that I was here to sabotage the academy, was the reason you kept helping me after that point because you already had a crush on me from beforehand?”  
  
“I… uh…. Probably not…Sorry.”  
  
“That’s fine, that’s what I was thinking about. When you found out about my problem, you reached out to me the same day, remember? Why was that? Did you perhaps rescue me because it was me? But that wasn’t the reason. Apparently, that wasn’t the reason, you weren’t rescuing a girl you already liked, or had any special feelings for. No, Makoto it was simply because… you rescue anyone that’s all.”  
  
“Rescue? Come on, it wasn’t that big a deal. I think your feelings might be getting confused, I want you to like me for me, not because I’m your savior.”  
  
“Don’t to be honest, it’s not as if I really feel that indebted to you, Makoto. In fact if we’re being honest, I’ve probably saved your life more times than you’ve saved mine, because you’re always getting into trouble.”  
  
“Eh?”  
  
“Because, Makoto, you’d help anyone.”  
  
“...Oh.”  
  
“But, even if I wasn’t the one you saved, for example, even if I was just watching you help Kirigiri-san from the sidelines, Even if I was just a minor character that you only interacted with in three free time events and never got the chance to become a heroine. I think that I would still have special feelings for you Makoto. Well, I may sound like I’m exaggerating things but I have to come out and say it, it’s just that I enjoy talking to you, I love your willingness to always listen to me, no matter how gloomy, unpleasant, or boring what I’m saying might be.”  
  
“But, we haven’t talked that much yet.”  
  
“Then I’d like to keep talking to you more.”  
  
“Oh…”  
  
“Ah. It could be that even if this is just a crush that came from my admiration for a boy who would save everyone, then I want to get to know you even more, so I can like you even more..”  
  
“I see.”  
  
“Yes. You can just think of it that way. That much to your misfortune, you’ve attracted the eye of a love-starved quiet emotionless girl archetpye with a sad backstory, prone to falling for anyone who shows her the smallest amount of kindness.”  
  
“I see.”  
  
“What a despair inducing ending for you. Curse your everyday conduct.”  
  
“You know, you can say witty things just like your sister too. It’s too bad you don’t show this side of yourself in front of more people. I think this is the longest I’ve ever heard you talk…”  
  
“Most of the time Junko and I never talked to each other, so I grew more and more quiet over time.”  


“God that’s so sad, I hate Junko... But listen, Iku-Mukuro.From today forward we’re going to be boyfriend and girlfriend but is it okay if I gave you just one condition? Not a condition, really… More like a promise.”  
  
“A promise? Like what?”  
  
“Keeping secrets. There’ll be none of that from now on. If we don’t agree on something, we’ll sit down and talk about it. Promise me. I like hearing you talk, I don’t think it’s boring, I want you to tell me everything on your mind.”  
  
“Consider it done.”  
  
“It’s going to be morning soon, we should try to get back to the right rooms before we get caught.”  
  
“Makoto, would you consider putting it into words.”  
  
“Into words?”  
  
“I don’t want a vague relationship.”  
  
“I hope it spreads like a virus.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“I hope everyone catches freckles fever.”  
  
“That’s so like you to say something like that… You’re the only one who would ever say something so amazing.”  
  
“Hey, Mukuro. It flatters me that you admire me, but I don’t think you should build me up as a hero or anything. I haven’t done anything special, or saved anyone yet. I still don’t think I rescued you.”  
  
“You know, i’ve lived for seventeen years and during that time many people actually caught onto my secret, and realized the relationship of my sister and her true nature. There were even people like Yasuke who had been friends with Junko since she was young and knew how she treated me as well, and yet, for all the people who knew my secret you were the only one like you, Makoto.”  
  
“Well, sure, who else could I be but me.”  
  
“Yes, exactly… that's why I love you.””  
  
“Congratulations…” Enoshima Junko muttered appearing in the doorway. She clapped, slow and sarcastic at their expressions of mutual love. It was only natural she would return here, this was her room after all, but someone like Enoshima Junko being out this early in the morning could only spell trouble, most likely for everyone else.  
  
“What a romantic scene I’ve stumbled upon, like a scene from a romance dama. Now, will you kindly get out of my room and away from my sister so I can get to my things.”  
  
“It depends… are you counting your sister as one of those things?” Makoto said, stepping in front of Mukuro and raising an arm in front of her protectively even though he was much weaker than either of the sisters. “Why don’t you just leave us alone for the rest of the trip? Don’t you think you’ve caused enough trouble already?”

Enoshima Junko smiled at this. “You can grope my sister’s flat chest all you want, but there won’t be anything there for you. I could care less. Why should I care about what a boring sister does? I only like interesting things.”  
  
“I don’t care if her boobs are small!” Makoto snapped back at her. “Wait, what the hell are we even talk about?”

“Naegi-kun who do you think you are? I’d like to ask you a question. Is your life dramatic? Drama? Tragic? Musical? If I’m like a virus that can only infect others, then aren’t you somebody who plants seeds of hopes in the hearts of others? That sounds like a same but opposite kind of  madness.”  
  
Makoto listened to her strange rambling, and unlike most others who listened to her he was not taken in by it. “Which are you?”  
  
“Which am I?” Junko pointed a single red finger nail back at her chest, which unlike her sister’s was well endowed, and especially revealed to be so with the hot springs robe she was wearing.  
  
“I dunno...How do you see your life?”  
  
“That’s a less interesting question than I expected… You’re ruining my fun, Naegi-kun. I’ll say this, there’s nothing to life, there’s dramatic about life, there’s no drama to life at all.”  
  
“So you’re saying you see nothing in life at all? Ugh, I really hate annoying responses like that, no wonder I can’t stand you. Even if you weren’t cruel to Mukuro I think I’d hate that fake deep attitude of yours.”  
  
“...Naegi-kun, you hate my attitude is it? So you hate me down to the very core? Then, shouldn’t you hate Kumagawa-senpai as well? At his core he’s the same as I am, that is to say we’re both empty fakes.”  
  
“You’re a fake, and Kumagawa is a fake too, but he’s not like you. He’s decided to live his entire life with a sense of inferiority. A proud fake.”  
  
“Well, you’ve converted my flaky ass sister to your side. I don’t know how you’ve done it, but you’re impressive, Naegi-kun. However, that means that you and I will never accept one another. You who loves everybody, who sees hope and a second chance in anybody, I’ll forever be the one person you can’t save. It’s far worse than water and oil. We’re fire and oil."  
  
“You’re definitely the fire. You and Mukuro both. Fire and fire. Cold fire and hot fire, together you’d become an inferno that burns everything. Despair sisters.”  
  
Mukuro, who had been frozen solid in fear at the sudden appearance of her sister to ruin the happiest moment of her life, the one moment she felt close with another human being, had been letting Makoto do all the talking until this point but suddenly she stuck her hand out and made a demand of her sister. “Give me your phone.” She was always taking orders from her sister, but this might have been the first time she gave her sister one. Her sister complied, handing over her phone only for Mukuro to immediately throw it to the tatami mat floor and stomp hard enough on it to crush the guady and bedazzled pink phone.  
  
“That was horrible of you. Now I won’t be able to help those poor middle school serial killers… I wouldn’t know how to reach then. I guess they’ll never go back to their normal lives.”  
  
“I’m not asking you to help kids I don’t even know. Makoto, I’m about to say the most horrible thing in the world. All of those people you use, it’s their fault for being used by you. I’m not a hero or a good guy, and I don’t care about justice. All I care about is you my sister, Misogi-chan, and Makoto. There’s no way you can do anything for those middle school monsers that we created even if we tried, in fact there’s no way you can help anyone you’d just end up stealing more so don’t pretend you were ever going to try to make amends after you were foiled.”  
  
“I suppose that’s true. I supposed I’d like totally devour them. I’m despair after all. The only way I’d ever help someone would be to cut them out of my life entirely.”  
  
Ikusaba Mukuro realized in that moment, that Enoshima Junko was simply never going to make ammends for mistreating her for seventeen years, or towards anyone else. That her sister would only ever hurt her, so her choie was having a sister who hurt her in her life or having no sister at all… she hesitated for a moment trembling so much Makoto grabbed onto her shoulders to steady her. “That’s the part of you…”  
  
“The part of me that you what? No answer. You really have grown to be boring. Dramatic or not, you used to be my wonderful older sister and now you’re just boring. Heavier and fatter, though.” 

“Shut up. I don’t care what you say about the old me, or every insult you’ve thrown my way in the past,  but don’t insult me as I am now. Makoto says he loves me. He loves me as I am now. Therefore, I like me as I am now. He even loves my freckles, and everything else you say is ugly, so I can’t let you insult the person that Makoto loves.”  
  
“W-what? So you two are like that? I see., I see. I don’t wish to interfere with a budding relationship. Oh, yes… let me tell you something, your sins will catch up to you with no drama at all. There’s nothing even worth settling, and nothing worth redeeming. The lesson for you here is not to expect anything dramatic from life, love will not redeem you. You’re just going to disappear one day, your life will be cut short just as you did with so many others…” Enoshima Junko left as quickly as she came, having retrieved the clothes she left in Mukuro’s room she seemed to be changing clothes so she could leave the hotel. Whatever she was going to do, she was up to no good. “And one more thing, don’t go pretending that Makoto’s your first love just because he’s the first person to smile at you, that’s romantic drama nonsense.” Junko said with a roll of her eyes before she disappeared entirely.  
  
Ikusaba Mukuro knew her sister was going to cause more trouble, but she could not go after her. It would be like walking down a pathway that consisted entirely of thorns and she was too delicate right now. Saying those few words disagreeing with her sister, only for Makoto’s sake and not her own had already taken all of her being in order to do so. She had spent seventeen years before this having that will beaten down by her sister again and again after all. That could not be shaken off in one night.  
  
“Wait? I’m not your first love then who… Kumagawa, is it Kumagawa?”  
  
“No… it’s not like that. Misogi-chan did help me, and I do think he’s kind but...But, at that time, anyone who attempted to save me would have seemed a prince, no matter what type of person they are. I won’t deny that I did feel somewhat positively for anyone who showed me the smallest bit of kindness. If anyone other than you had saved me, it’s possible I would have fallen in love with them too. When I think about that it infuriates me. I’m so glad you were the one who did.”

“...” Makoto decided he did not need to try to go back to his room just yet. He walked back into the room, only for Mukuro to suddenly grab him by the wrist. Her grip was several times stronger than him, and she could probably crush his bone if she seriously tried, Makoto realized as he was suddenly not able to move forward.  
  
Then, looking down at her feet her expression hidden as she clung to him, Ikusaba Mukuro muttered. “Compliment me.”  
  
“Is that an order, Ma’am?”  
  
“No, you’ll say anytihng nice to anyone so a compliment from you means absolutely nothing, but you seem to have forgotten to fulfill your obvious duty as my boyfriend. I simply reminded you.”  
  
“Really, are you made of iron or something?”  
  
“Iron, of course not. I am a soft, cute girl.  Even if I have a flat chest. After everything my sister said to me, I can barely stand…”  
  
“I don’t mind flat chested girls really, my hands are small anyway, and liar, nothing about you is soft! Who taught you how to lie like that, was it unko?”  
  
“It’s the truth. So. From now on, be gentle to me.” Mukuro said, as she let go of his wrist, only to wrap her arms around his neck and push him back onto the blankets that were laid out onto the floor, the door shutting behind them.  
  
She wanted to enjoy every moment she could with Makoto, because she knew it would not last forever. That fatalism is what made her a despair sister after all. That’s why she had decided to sleep in with him that morning.  
  
She was sleeping in, she was sleeping in, it was so warm, she just wanted to sleep forever. Then suddenly, on Jabberwock Island Ikusaba Mukuro woke up. There was no one in bed next to her. Had Makoto disappeared somewhere? Oh wait, Makoto was not here to begin with. That was a dream. A memory from the past. Ikusaba Mukuro decided to get up early as there was no longer any reason to sleep in, and where she was sleeping was entirely devoid of wamrth anyway.

 

♛

 

“Hey, Misogi-chan wake up…” Mukuro reached over and nudged the other boy who had fallen asleep next to her. They had no blankets to spare as they were using them all to keep Komaeda warm, so Mukuro had fallen asleep with Kumagawa’s uniform jacket on top of her, while Kumagawa slept in a simple button up shirt and slacks.

『Ah… so it was just a dream.』  

“What were you dreaming about?” Mukuro was curious, as she had just been having a vivid dream as well. Of course, she was haunted not by nightmares, but by happy dreams she could never see in reality, and happy memories that she was no longer apart of. Naegi Makoto who was not by her side, had a particular habit of showing up in her dreams as part of her feared she might never see her again. She dreamed of pleasant things because her reality was already a nightmare, that was what it was like to be a despair sister.  
  
『We were kidnapped to a tropical island and forced to play a deadly tournament...』    
  
“That really happened Misogi-chan…”

『Of beach volleyball.』    
  
“That part didn’t happen.”

『Why is it when I get kidnapped and forced to play a game, it’s always a killing game, and never a serious life or death match of beach volleyball.』    
  
“I guess it’s just bad luck. You’re an unlucky guy, you know that?”

『Yeah, I was born under a bad star. At this rate I’m never going to see Junko’s boobs bounce up and down as she plays beach volleyball with all the passion of her youth.』    
  
“Yeah, that doesn’t sound like something my sister-in-law would do. Also, while she may be my ex-sister once removed now, I’d still appreciate if you didn’t talk about her that way. Talking about her that way in front of me, you must be completely shameless.”

『Sorry, sorry, I was just messing with you. Junko doesn’t even have any passion at all, all she can do is devour passion. So you’re serious about cutting Junko off, huh?』  
  
“I guess I am.”

『You’re being really talkative all of a sudden, you’ve been more quiet lately.』     
  
“I guess I am.” She repeated again, looking up at the unfamiliar white ceiling of Hinata’s cabin. “It’s because you’re here. It’s not that I’m a quiet girl naturally… it’s just always having Junko around me made me fade in the background in the past.”

『I see. You know Mukuro-chan, I know you want to avoid Junko but you don’t have to be on our side.』  
  
“Huh?”  


『I mean, why are you helping Nagito-chan? Do you like him because he’s like Makoto-chan?』    
  
“I don’t like him at all.”

『So cold!』     
  
“But you like him, so I want to help him.”

『You don’t have to be here for my sake, you know. In fact I’d rather you didn’t follow me.』  
  
“Why?”

『It’s natural for big brothers not to want their sisters to follow them around.』    
   
“You’re not my big brother, you’re my little brother.”

『And also… I’m the hated and despised minus, so if you follow me you’ll be hated too. You don’t deserve that, you’re nothing like a minus, Mukuro-chan.』    
  
“...Misogi-chan, do you think you have friends?”

『Not really. Even Hajime-chan and Nagito-chan don’t want to be my friends, and they’re both the lowest of the low. My only real friend is Junko.』    
  
“What a terrible friend to be stuck with.”

『I know, I know. I have the worst luck.』    
  
“You know, once we get back to that academy, Makoto would be your friend.”

『That doesn’t count, he’d be friends with anybody.』  

“He wouldn’t be friends with Junko.”

『Ah… I guess that’s right. So if I’m the only person who was able to befriend Junko in the end, does that mean I’ve won or lost against Makoto? No… getting involved with somebody like Junko is definitely a loss..』  

“Yeah… you’re right… it’d be better to cut her out entirely…” Mukuro said, she tried to sound confident but as she did her voice trembled. She reached up to her shirt, and between her fingers crumpled the fabric.  
  
As she sat up, Kumagawa turned his head to look at her. 『Mukuro-chan, you know… if after all this time you still love your sister, it’s okay. Sometimes you can’t help but love someone, even if they hurt you.』    
  
“... Since when did you give such smart sounding advice. You’re supposed to be a failure you know, as Junko would say you’re acting out of character.”

『I’d be beyond a failure of an older brother if I couldn’t help you at least a little bit.』    
  
“But you’re my younger brother…” Mukuro said again, before she looked out the window. Her eyes always seemed to naturally fall to the distance these days, perhaps she was staring out there, searching with her eyes for Makoto. “You know, even if you weren’t helping him, I’d still want to help Komaeda… because, I want to be like that too. I want to be like Makoto, somebody who can be friends with anybody, who can like anybody, who can help anybody.”

『If you learn to get along with that troublesome sister of yours, then you’ll have surpassed Makoto. Unlike me, with you, it’ll definitely be a win.』  Kumagawa said, smiling at her.  
  
Mukuro did her best to return his smile. For a moment her thoughts returned to her dream again, would she have fallen for anybody who smiled at her back then? No, she did not think in any scenario she would have ever fallen for Kumagawa. He made her happy, and he made her smile, but the person that Kumagawa made smile the most was her sister, he made Junko smile in a way Mukuro had never seen. “You don’t have to put yourself down to praise me, you know. To me, you’ve already won against me. I used to believe I was the only one who understood my sister, but you understand her far better than I do, and you are far closer to her than me.”

『Huh? No, I definitely lost to you.』  
  
“What do you mean?”

『I might be her boyfriend now, but Junko cares about you the most. She always has. You’ll always be number one in her heart. But… that’s why she can’t ever be kind to you, even the smallest bit, because tormenting you above everybody else gives her the most despair.』   

“...”

『It’s fine though, Junko always decides things like that on her own and expects everybody to go along with her regardless of how they feel. You don’t have to accept that kind of twisted love.』  

“I know… You’re the only one who ever said that you know, everybody always favored Junko over me, and ignored how she was treating me. Even Matsuda-kun… you really are like a big brother in that one aspect.”

『Yaaaay, I’ve been acknowledged.』    
  
“You’re like a younger brother in all other aspects though.”

『Boo, once again I’ve lost.』    
  
“My brother who always protects me... “ Ikusaba Mukuro said in a soft voice, before turning around to go outside and check with Pekoyama. She was once again feeling herself weighed down with complicated thoughts, thoughts that threatened to dag her into despair if she was not careful.

Her thoughts wondered for a moment, as unlike how her sister always insisted she only had brain cells good for fighting she in fact thought quite a lot. She thought about her dream and how Makoto and Junko were like fire and oil, worse than oil and water as they would never once get along with each other. Whereas she and her sister were fire and fire, the explosive burning fire of the younger sister, and the cold burning fire of the older sister, when they were together they only aggravated each other’s fires. She wondered then what that made Kumagawa who could withstand most of Enoshima Junko, even when her flames licked him. Was he fireproof? Was he used to getting burned…? No, Kumagawa Misogi was like a vaccuum. Because he was completely empty inside, no fire could burn him, because fire required oxygen after all.

He might have been the only one who could contain Enoshima Junko’s fire, but he loved her not out of obligation, but because he wanted to. Ikusaba Mukuro wondered if she was the same, but no matter how much she thought about it, she could not find an answer. Perhaps she only had two brain cells left only good for fighting after all.

Kumagawa however, looked like somebody who was not even bothering to try to swim at the surface. He looked perfectly content to drown at the bottom of the ocean as he suddenly to put his arm over his face to obscure his eyes. 『You’re wrong Mukuro-chan, I haven’t protected you, not even once… Your brother is just a liar.』  

 

♛

 

There were only half of their original number left after Zenkichi had gone, and even after that the island had become divided again in half thanks to Nagito Koameda’s actions. There were those who wanted to protect Nagito and viewed him as a victim, and those on the other side who still could not trust him.

Though, it was truly only Hinata Hajime and Kumagawa Misogi who sympathized with Komaeda. Pekoyama was here because she wanted to protect HInata, and Mukuro was here because she wanted to protect Kumagawa (though, in the end she was probably going to end up being protected by him again) she thought with self deprecation. Those girls had been cabin mates, and though they had a rocky start, unlike Enoshima Junko and Kurokami Medaka, their similarities allowed them to get along well.  
  
Despite getting along, the two of them were quite a contrast when standing next to each other. Pekoyama was tall and shapely, with sharp features. Every time she stood, she seemed to cut a perfectly confident and beautiful figure, pun intended. Her colorless silver hair especially stood out, and glimmered in the bright sunlight, and strands of her hair fell against her flawless skin complimenting it. As for Mukuro, she was somebody whose entire appearance never stood out and was always meant to fade in the background. Her hair was dark, her skin flawed and freckled, and her figure was just a pair of two parallel lines with no curves. It was a little bit like standing next to her sister, though because Pekoyama’s personality was similar enough to hers she would never brag about how much more beautiful she was than Mukuro.  
  
Actually, should she even be worried about stuff like this right now? The island had almost blown up a few days ago and they were still trying to deal with the aftermath of that situation. Perhaps… there would be a time one day where she was allowed to be a normal girl but it was not right now. Ikusaba Mukuro thought. She probably only started thinking of such things again because she was reminded of Makoto in her dream, her like to normalcy. “Morning, Pekoyama-senpai…” Even though she was thinking quite a lot, she said little as usual.  
  
“Senpai?” Pekoyama Peko turned her head. “Since when did you start calling me that?”  
  
“Do you not want to be called Senpai by a boring girl like me? That’s understandable I guess.”

“Hm, no I’m just surprised is all… You’re always so quick to put yourself down, just like Hajime.”  
  
“I’m sorry, you probably don’t want to listen to an annoying girl put herself down.”

“Ah, no it’s fine. Just… Mukuro, I don’t think I’ve done anything to earn the position as your upperclassmen.”

Mukuro tilted her head to one side in a manner similar to the way her sister often did. “What are you talking about? Were you held back a year?”  
  
“No, it’s just I haven’t done anything for you yet. Upperclassmen are supposed to take care of their underclassmen, right?”  
  
“Well, that’s not your fault. It’s because Junko spent most of last year trying to destroy the school, so we were all busy with that. I’m sure once we get back, we’ll all go back to being a normal, boring class.”  
  
“We’re supposed to be an extraordinary class of elites, you know.”  
  
“Yeah, but because of Junko I’ve been chasing the extraordinary all my life. I’m a little sick of it. I want to try the ordinary.”  
  
“A normal school, huh? I don’t know what that would be like either. Fuyuhiko ordered  me to pretend to just be another classmate to him and everybody else, but I always resented that order.”  
  
“Why…?”  
  
“As a tool, it made me feel useless to him. If I was attending that school as his bodyguard, perhaps I could have done more to save Natsumi, or avenge her.”  
  
“I see… Well so far you’ve been a terrible upperclassmen right? Then, from now on just try to aim to be an average one.”  
  
“Just try to be average?”  
  
“Since you’re so bad at it, I mean.” Mukuro said, it almost sounded like she was making fun of the other girl, but her voice was without any kind of emotion that would indicate she was joking. “It’s probably too much to strive for being an excellent upperclassmen, but I bet if you tried with all your might you’d be not so bad.”

“You’re more optimistic than I thought, Ikusaba-san. You always seem like you’d be a gloomy girl.”  
  
“That’s a terrible way to think of your underclassmen, no you’ve done such a terrible job of being an upperclassmen so far.” Mukuro said, in that same flat voice so Pekoyama could not tell if she was being made fun of.

“Go back to being a normal upperclassmen after all this is over… I can take you to pandaland, and then treat you to fast food afterwards… You know, last night I had a dream that none of this was real.”  Pekoyama said, as she adjusted her glasses with a single finger to the bridge between them bringing clarity to her eyes.

“Oh, is that so?”  
  
“Do you want that to be true? Then Mikan, Zenkichi and Fuyuhiko can come back, among others.”  
  
“I… if Junko were here, she’d say that ‘the it’s all a dream twist is the lamest twist of all, lamer than the they were secretly twins all along twist, big sis’. And as disagreeable as she is I’d have to agree with her. I don’t like losing people but, if all of this were to be undone we’d never have become friends.”  
  
“Friends…?” Pekoyama’s entire form shuddered for a moment as she looked down. Those eyes of hers, that Mukuro thought were much brighter, and much more bold than hers seemed foggy at the moment. “I really am the worst senpai… because right now I just thought, I wanted to undo it all. I’d trade everything on this island to get Fuyuhiko-san back.”  
  
“That’s fine, Pekoyama-senpai. I don’t think it’s wrong of you to miss him.”  
  
“But right now, you’re apart from your most precious person too. You don’t have Makoto by your side, but you’re still trying to let others rely on you, and even though you’re my underclassmen, I’m relying on you too.”  
  
“Pekoyama-senpai…”  
  
“Don’t call me Senpai, I haven’t done anything to earn it. Don’t call me friend either… It’s not that I’m a useless tool, I think I was just saying that as an excuse to avoid facing how useless of a person I am.”  
  
“Pekoyama-senpai!” Mukuro repeated again, her voice firmer this time. _Because you’re somebody who would help anybody, that’s why I admire you, and that’s why I want to be like you._ She couldn’t stand so firmly on the side of hope like Makoto, nor could she be an ally to justice like Kirigiri, but she still wanted to help others. “You don’t have to do anything to earn my friendship! I wasn’t being nice to you because I felt like I was collecting a debt, I like you just as you are.”

“It… it’s not that easy, I’ve always been seen as a tool. I’ve only ever been needed as a tool.”  
  
“No, don’t you remember what Kuzuryuu-san said? He didn’t need a tool, all he needed was you.”

“Who... who am I though without him around? He was such an important person to me, but I didn’t understand him, and I can’t even listen to the last words he gave me… I’m… I’m no good.”  
  
“Pekoyama-senpai. I’m the same, I wasn’t able to understand my sister even though I was always around her. I wasn’t able to e anything more than a tool to her. You’re not the worst… at least not alone… we’re the worst together, okay?”

Mukuro tried to smile. She wondered if optimistic was still something that would describe her. Had she managed to reach out and help someone just like Makoto did? Had she managed to understand someone like Misogi? She had no idea, all she could do was stand there smiling awkwardly.  
  
Eventually, Pekoyama who had wrapped her arms around herself and let her glasses go crooked as she looked like she was about to collapse inward on herself, recovered to her normal poise and readjusted her glasses straightening them once more. She sighed, as if releasing something. “Iksuba-san, I still want to do something for you… not because I feel like I owe you… I just want to be a good sepai for once.”  
  
“Even if you were a mediocre senpai, I’d still call you senpai.”  
  
“I know you’re used to being treated like the worst, but it’s okay to have your standards a bit higher!” Pekoyama said suddenly raising her voice which was uncharacteristic for her. Her eyes widened suddenly with recollection. “Oh, I forgot Kirigiri-san asked for you.”

“Huh? She did?” Mukuro felt a little bit of regret for suddenly leaving Kirigiri behind as the two of them had worked together on this island the entire time. She decided to go talk to the other girl to explain herself.  
  
It was better if the island was not torn in two over what to do with Nagito. If Naegi were here, that is what he would do. He would become somebody who could unite everybody, rather than somebody who split the island up like Nagito. So, that was what she would strive to do as well. She made up her mind. 

  
  
♛

 

The moment Ikusaba Mukuro stepped into the old hotel building where Kirigiri asked her to meet up, when she made it to the office room, the door slammed shut behind her, and the door knob fell off.  
  
Enoshima Junko was standing where Kirigiri Kyoko should have been. Ikusaba Mukuro realized it was all a trap, and started to think that maybe it was her who had been born under the bad star rather than Misogi. Considering she was born only seven minutes apart from Enoshima Junko, she was probably born under the same despair filled star, that was what made them despair sisters after all.

“Whoops, the door broke. I guess you’re stuck in here with me. This is just like one of those crazy coincidences that happens in sitcoms, to make the characters bond.” Enoshima Junko said loudly, even though it was only the two of them in the room.  
  
Ikusaba Mukuro stared at Junko flatly. She had just seen Junko purposefully kick the door shut, and kick the door knob off. Perhaps she was an accident waiting to happen in those heels but none of it was accidental. “So, you’re going to murder me is that what’s going on here?” Mukuro said, in a voice without emotion. “Well, whatever just get it over with already.”

“Hey, where’s the enthusiasm? God, you even make betrayal disappointing, what’s your deal anyway? Enoshima Junko said, stomping the wooden floors with her heels and causing a fuss as usual.  
  
Ikusaba Mukuro had no idea how she had gotten into this situation when she was trying her best to avoid her sister, perhaps Enoshima Junko herself was the bad star she had been born under. She sighed and walked over to the wall, sitting on the floor and leaning against it. “Well, I was thinking…”  
  
“No wonder you seem so tired.”  
  
Mukuro continued on, ignoring her. “Misogi-chan said that you can’t bring yourself to ever be kind to me, that’s why you’re always hurting me. But… if you killed me, that’d probably be the only nice thing you ever did to me, because I wouldn’t have to keep living. You know Junko, the way I lived in the past where you were my whole life, it was nothing but pain because all you ever did was hurt me.” 

“...”

“But… that’s way too despair inducing. The only king thing you’re going to do is kill me? I don’t want to think like that.”  
  
“But you’re a despair sister, you’re supposed to like despair.”  
  
“Maybe I don’t want to be a despair sister…” Mukuro said, as she drew her knees close up to her face and buried it away, where Junko could not see it. She did not want Junko to see the miserable expression on her face right now, because she would probably enjoy it. “We never even talked about being despair sisters, you just decided it all on your own and I followed you.”  
  
“Yeah, so. That’s because I’m the cunning and compulsively attractive younger sister, attractive younger sister. Are you so brainless you’re forgetting about our twin dynamic?”

“What are you talking about twin dynamic? I know it’s like that in fiction, but just because we’re twins doesn’t mean we’re telekinetic or anything… we still have to talk and stuff…” Mukuro looked up, and when she did she saw Junko sitting next to her.  
  
“Do you remember the time that we ran away from home together?” Junko asked, in a markedly different tone of voice.  
  
“We didn’t run away together, you just decided to run away on your own and I followed you because I didn’t want you to get hurt.”  
  
“What about all those times we got into fights together when we were in elementary and middle school.”  
  
“That was because you started a fight, and then hid behind me while I did all the actual fighting and cleaned up your messes for you.”  
  
“What about the time we fell off the roof of the school building together.”  
  
“You pushed me off the roof, and then jumped after me and landed on me to stop your fall.”

“All those birthdays we celebrated together.”  
  
“Junko you hate our birthday. You always forced me to spend the whole day with you cheering you up, and for my efforts dealing with your grumpy butt, I got knives thrown at me.”

“What are you saying…?”  
  
“Junko I don’t… I don’t understand you anymore. Maybe I never understood you. I don’t get how you’re going to feel despair trying to kill someone who you don’t have any happy memories with at all.”  
  
“We have happy memories…”  
  
“I tried my best to make you happy Junko, but you were never happy, you’re never going to be happy.”  
  
Enoshima Junko suddenly spoke in a quiet voice, Ikusaba Mukuro had never heard her sister be that quiet, she did not even think she was capable of such a thing. She was supposed to be the quiet older sister after all, were they really breaking roles? “When we were younger, when I got headaches you would always brush my hair. I was happy when you did that.”  
  
“Well, I wasn’t. You just complained the whole time, and said my fingers were too gross to touch your perfect hair. It was annoying, all I thought was ‘how can a girl who has such an easy life complain this much.’ Every time I tried to help you, you had to make me as miserable as possible for daring to love my little sister.”

“...”

“Junko… it’s not like I want to stop being your sister. All I want is to love you normally, but you have no use for that at all. You only care about people who worship you with all of their being, or people who hate you with all of their being and become your worst enemy. You don’t have any need for people who love you normally.”  
  
“That’s not true. Misogi isn’t like that.”  
  
“Maybe he’s not like that now, but sooner or later he will be. He’s already becoming like that. He’s different from the way he was back at Hope’s Peak, I think you must have done something. You’re going to slowly twist him up and make him worship you, until there’s nothing of him left and then you’ll throw him away like everybody else.”

“Mukuro, I really didn’t do anything to Misogi this time. I don’t know what’s up with his whacked brain.”  
  
“Even if you didn’t do it this time, that’s just what you do to people.”  
  
“Misogi’s not going to be like that. He’s different. He’s interesting, just as he is, i don’t want him to change.”  
  
“Junko… I don’t think Misogi-chan is special in any way. I think you’ve just convinced yourself of that, because you don’t know how to love people. You can’t just assume that he’s special, and not try to communicate with him…you’re just deciding things on your own again.”

“Hey, don’t tell people what their deal is. That’s my deal, telling everybody else what the deal is. I’m trying to talk to you right now, aren’t I?”

“No you’re not… you’re just talking at me. The same way you do with everyone else.” Mukuro buried her head even further away from her sister. “You tell people what roles they’re supposed to play, and then you expect them to do it. That’s all you know how to do.”  
  
“Well what do you want me to do? Give a big speech about hope? Do you want me to get bored to death playing the role of a kind younger sister instead? Is that what you want? If you really wanted, I could be a perfect younger sister who only ever told you nice things.”  
  
“No… that’s not what I want.” Ikusaba Mukuro’s eyes were usually dull and colorless, but at this moment they were especially so. Enoshima Junko was like a bright light she was always gazing at, and that made Mukuro the shadow that was cast off by her. “I want you, as you are, as a sister. That means you have to want the same thing though…”  
  
“I do want…”  
  
“No you don’t. You’re right I am brainless and only good for fighting, but you think I don’t know my own sister? You’re not upset at the idea of losing me as a sister, you’re just upset that you’re losing me in a boring way. If I were to die in a cool way, or to leave you in a cool way you wouldn’t care… it’s just not entertaining to you if I quietly stop being your sister and never talk to you again, but still exist independently without you.”

“Well, life’s so empty if you’re not having fun you know…”  
  
“Well, I was never having fun…” Mukuro said, imitating her sister in a deadpan voice.  
  
“You didn’t tell me that despair was no fun for you.”  
  
“We didn’t talk!”  
  
“You should have used twin telepathy!”  
  
“That doesn’t exist!” Ikusaba Mukuro stood up once more. She had been trying to retreat within herself symbolically the entire time, but that was not working so she decided on a physical treat instead. “Junko… I can’t take this anymore… talking to you is so boring…” Mukuro said, as she went to the door and kicked it just like her sister. She had a superior strength though and easily kicked it open. If she was only good at violence she might as well use that to her advantage.

She moment she was clear of the old hotel building though, she ran until she felt sand underneath her feet once more, and then stopped. She was probably far enough away that Junko would not see her reaction anymore.  
  
Become somebody who could help anybody, just like Makoto. Become somebody who could even help Enoshima Junko, and surpass Makoto.  
  
She could do neither of those things. Just being in her sister’s presence had overwhelmed her. She wanted to be happy that her sister was trying to talk to her, that she went after her, but she knew Junko was manipulating her and it was too much.  
  
She was not standing up to Junko she felt, just running away again. Ikusaba Mukuro just as she had seen Pekoyama do earlier, collapsed in on herself, holding he head and crouching right there in the sand.

Just as she did, her bad luck showed up again At the moment she least wanted him to see her, Kumagawa Misogi walked by again.

♛

 

『...』

Mukuro had stayed silent for some time, hiding away from him and Kumagawa had no idea how to approach her. He stood above her, scratching at his neck. Mukuro could see that Kumagawa was picking at some of his old scabs and reopening them, scratching hard enough to draw blood. She should stop him from doing that, but that would mean coming out of the safe little turtle shell she made for herself.  
  
Eventually, Kumagawa leaned over her and poked at her. 『Mukuro-chan.』Even when she flinched away from him, he kept poking at her.  
  
“That’s annoying, Misogi-chan.”

『That’s good, because I was trying to annoy you. My plan worked successfully. Actually my entire existence is annoying if you think about it, can I be SHSL annoying, can that be a talent?』  
  
“That’s not a talent. If it was you would lose to my sister. And I don’t think you’re annoying, I’m sorry I said that.”

『Awe, once again I’ve lost. My plan of annoying you until you tell me what’s wrong has failed.』  
  
“I can’t tell you what’s wrong, even if you torture me.”

『Whoa! I’ve never seen you take it so seriously, is this a military secret?』  
  
“I’m not that much of a military otaku.”

『You are! You are! You’re as much of a dork as your little sister, you should be called the dork sisters.』

“Don’t you bully me too, Misogi-chan…”

『Sorry, sorry! There’s no way I could bully Mukuro-chan she’s much stronger than I am.』It had become a common exchange between them. Mukuro appreciated it, because as much as Misogi loved to joke around with others and mess with them, almost as much as Junko loved him every time she told him she was at her limit he backed down and apologized. She wondered why, it was probably just that he was too weak in personality. But she liked it, that weakness of his, he seemed to understand the weakness of others well.  
  
“Just tried to talk to me, but I couldn’t be happy about it. It just felt like she was manipulating me…” Mukuro wished she was sitting in quick sand rather than regular sand. She just wanted to sink into the earth forever. Getting killed by Junko was sounding more and more appealing by the minute. “Even if say she were to genuinely act like a sister for once, would I even know if it was real? I don’t know what the real thing feels like… I think I’m too far gone at this point.”

『Nobody’s too far gone, Mukuro-chan.』

“But… I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what a sister looks like. I don’t know anything about this, but I keep having to act like I do... “

『Mukuro-chan...』  
  
“I’m sick of it. No I’ve been sick since I was born. The sickness called despair.”

『Whoa, what a dramatic line. Mukuro-chan, you weren’t born into despair or whatever. Junko wasn’t either. You were born a normal girl and so was she.』  
  
“I don’t even know what normal is like!” Mukuro said, seeing Kumagawa’s hand reach towards her coered in blood, she immediately saw red. How many times had she seen blood before this? Too many times to count. It was so digusting… no she was the disgusting one. Completely numb to the sight of blood. Feeling nothing about death or murder. She slapped his hand away. “Don’t call me normal! That’s unfair, I don’t even know what normal is I never even got to experience it.”

Ah, but so did Kumagawa. In fact even though she had been tormented by Junko her whole life Kumagawa probably had it worse than her, he even had a ister like figure that was indifferent to him too in Ajimu, but she had slapped his hand away.  
  
“Sorry… I didn’t want to depend on you again, but I ended up running crying to you because I couldn’t face Junko, the same as always. I want to be like Makoto, you know, somebody who can only help others… But I’m closer to Junko, aren’t I? Somebody who can only hurt others.”

『That didn’t hurt, Mukuro-chan.』Kumagawa said, reaching out for her anyway even though she had just slapped his hand away. He reached forward and put a hand on her head, lightly tousling her hair. 『What is with everybody with Makoto-chan lately? It’s like the moment he disappeared everyone started putting him on a pedestal. You’re his girlfriend you know, it’s no good to worship him, just like it’s bad when people worshipped Junko.』

“You worship Junko too…”

『In my defense I only worship her boobs!』

“Don’t talk about my sister that way!” Mukuro snapped back at him.  
  
He was only trying to lighten the mood. Amazing how he could smile even at a moment like that. The man that could make even her sister who was always miserable smile, Kumagawa Misogi. 『You know, as much as Makoto-chan was always helping others, he was always being helped by others too. He’s actually pretty useless on his own. So you should let others help you too.』At that moment he flicked her on the forehead. 『I know I’m dumb too, but you’re acting even dumber right now. Listen, two heads are better than one. Thinking together is harder to break than one arrow. You should rely on those around you instead of thinking about stuff alone. 』  
  
“I think you’re getting your metaphors mixed up.”

『I make a lot of metaphors okay sometimes they run into each other.』

“Why… why do you always say things like that to me?”

『Once we leave this island, sometime in the future you sisters are going to become my family right? Then we’ll become the despair trio. I’ve never had a family before, so I have to do my best.』  
  
“Despair trio doesn’t sound as good as despair sisters.”

『Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Why are you criticizing the name all of a sudden, that wasn’t the important part of that sentence. Hey… come on, lift your head Mukuro-chan. You and your sister are both alive aren’t you? You can still work things out, it’s never too late. You’re never too far gone. You always look so calm, but you’re not remotely calm or collected, are you?』

“I know… I’m incompetent and lacking in all other things a person should have…So… a person like me could never defeat my sister. I’m too inferior to her. God or nothing but killing. So, why do I want it so badly? Perhaps… I should have been born the one without emotions, and Junko should have been born as the emotional older sister she probably would have done a better job. I’m so… I’m so unnecessary why did we have to be twins in the first place?”

『...Mukuro-chan.』  
  
“I apologize. I said too much at once. It probably didn’t even make sense to you.”

『You know, you’re always viewing yourself through the lens of Junko. You’re seeing yourself as dependant on her, and using it to undermine yourself, but… Junko’s just as bad as you are. I’d say that even if you were the one who was born with SHSL analysis and Junko was born the military Otaku she’d be just as unpleasant, it’s not just her analysis she has a nasty personality to boot, she’s weak, gives up on things too easily. She’s just a bad person in general. I think, she’s just as dependent on you as you are of he. She feels human because of you, you make her feel things.』

“...”

『You’re not Junko’s sister, you’re Mukuro. What Junko doesn’t have you do. Just accept that. There’s more to life than chest size! Who cares if her boobs are bigger, your peresonality is much bigger than hers! And this is coming from the president of the Junko fan club! If you hadn’t been around on this island I would have lost my mind by now. Those times can’t see you I feel like I’m losing my mind. I’m still here aren’t I, not only because of your sister but because of you. 』

“I’m not good at supporting you, I’m weak you know.”

『I’m weak, stupid, scary looking and dense. But I still live my life being helped by others… If you want a third opinion, I’ll watch you and Junko, and tell you how distinct you are from her. I’m your family too after all. You don’t need Junko just look at yourself, and then once you’ve done that you’ll be able to face her again.』  
  
“It’s scary... “

『Yeah, the future is scary. We’re probably going to get hurt a lot more. Even if we get off this island, it’ll be filled with nothing but despair.』  
  
“Makoto would have said something more optimistic.”

『But, I’m not Makoto-chan you know. They say if you make plans for the future, Junko will laugh and then tear them apart. Oh wait, that’s the devil that does that. Same difference really. Well, let’s do exactly that. Let’s make plans of the future so Junko can laugh at us, and then all three of us can laugh together.』

‘If we’re laughing too, doesn’t that make us devils?”

『Who cares if we’re devils, as long as we get to laugh!』

Kumagawa was different from Makoto, but he had helped her in that moment. Long, and rambling, completely nonsensical, not a drop of hope present among them but he spoke from his heart.  
  
She was thinking again and again, all the ways she was not Junko, and all the ways she was not Makoto. But… she did not need Makoto or Junko. Even if she wanted to, she could not be them. She had tried so hard to become her sister in the past she had even donned a blonde wig. She could only be herself, and act the way she would in those situations.

But, her being herself had helped somebody as perpetually helpless as Kumagawa MIsogi apparently.

She was Enoshima Junko’s sister…  
No, she had been born first.  
For seven blissful minutes of her existence, she was nobody’s sister, she was only Ikusaba Mukuro. Then Enoshima Junko was born. Enoshima Junko was Ikusaba Mukuro’s younger sister. There had never been a time when she wasn’t that, she had been born her younger sister.  
  
Those seven minutes were probably the happiest she would ever be, but… that was fine, she didn’t care too much about being happy. Kumagawa Misogi was never happy either, but he was always enjoying himself.  
  
She could exist on her own. No, she had always existed on her own. She could choose to be Junko’s sister as well…  
  
That was what was available to her as Ikusaba Mukuro. Her own choices. Influenced by no one. This world was no longer a video game running on a pre-installed script.

 

♛

 

When Ikusaba Mukuro found her sister again, she was curled up in a ball in Kumagawa Misogi’s cabin, on his bed. Though, knowing her sister she had probably claimed it as her own cabin and taken up the whole bed. Even when they were younger, they technically shared a bed but Mukuro was kicked onto the floor by her sister’s kicking in her sleep most nights.

Mukuro sat at the foot of the bed. “Junko…” She nudged at her sister.  
  
“God, you’re annoying. You’re so annoying that you gave me a headache.”  
  
Junko had always gotten chronic headaches because of her brain. Lately, she bothered Kumagawa when they were especially bad, not Mukuro like she did in the past but Kumagawa was not around now.  
  
It was probably not remorse or anything like that, Junko just got emotional and threw fits when things did not go her way. Still, Mukuro could not help but sigh. “No, you’re supposed to be the annoying younger sister, remember that’s your character archetype.”  
  
Mukuro had always been by Junko’s side, for seventeen years. As a side effect of listening to her sister rant so many times, she could sound like Junko if she wanted to. In fact, behind Junko’s back several times, Kumagawa and her had made a game of seeing who had the best Junko impression. Makoto could not compete with either of them because he was so much o Junko’s antithesis.  
  
So what if they were like fire and fire, so what if they would only burn each other, fire was warm at least. Even if nobody else appreciated it, they had warmed the cold and empty vacuum that was Kumagawa Misogi.  
  
“Oh, now you care about our sister dynamic. I don’t care, I’m not writing another script for you, you’re too stupid to memorize them.” 

Mukuro reached out suddenly and grabbed Junko by one of her pig tails, dragging her forward and putting her head in her lap. If all she was good for was violence, and brute strength she might as well use that to her advantage. Junko squirmed for a moment and then gave up. Mukuro pulled the two bands that tied her hair up out, and started to run her fingers through her sister’s hair. She put the monokuma hairbands to the side, because Junko would complain if those got lost.  
  
“Do you remember that time Mom and Dad asked if we wanted to get a pet.”  
  
“Yeah, but dogs are so dull. They’re always loyal, and too dim witted to think of betraying you, I have no interest in them at all.”  
  
“That’s just because dogs always hated you. Remember, that one time you were late to school because every dog in the neighborhood had banded together to chase you up a pole, and I had to fight them off so you could get down.”  
  
“You weren’t supposed to reveal that embarrassing secret about my past to the audience! What a terrible sister you are!”  
  
“What audience, we’re the only ones here.”  
  
“There’s always an audience watching me, my presence demands one.”  
  
“Okay, Junko…” Mukuro said in a soft voice. The same voice she always used when Junko dragged her along into something.  
  
“I didn’t drag you, you know.” Junko said, as if reading her mind at the moment. But twin telepathy wasn’t really a thing, or at least she hoped it was not because if it was then Junko would have gotten a lot of passive agressive thoughts that Mukuro wanted to keep hidden. “You always followed me. It would be boring if I dragged you….”  
  
“You’re right, I am a terrible sister, but so are you.”  
  
“I’m terrible on purpose at least, you can’t help but being terrible so that makes you worse.”

“No, you’re way worse.”  
  
“Nu-uh.”  
  
“Uh-huh.”  
  
“Nu-uh.”  
  
“Uh-huh.”  
  
Junko yawned in a lazy way. Her droopy eyes, slack expression, sloping shoulders, and the way she relaxed entirely against her sister reminded of a lazy panda. But appearances were deceiving. Enoshima Junko, who had tried to make shish kabobs aout of Ikusaba several times was anything but laidback, carefree, or lazy. She was a non-lazzy panda. In othe words, she was a bear of a girl, an unbearable girl.

“Do you think Misogi is going to come back soon?” Junko suddenly asked, getting bored of their childish argument and changing the subject again.  
  
“Maybe. Dunno.”  
  
“Huh, I see. When Misogi gets worked up about something, he loses sight of everythinge lse.”  
  
“Like you’re one to talk.” Her sister was self aware, and yet she had no self awareness at all. That was what made her so scary. The fact that puffing out her cheeks out made her even more like a lazy panda was also scary.  
  
Her sister seemed to be the more hot headed one, but that was all just an act. She was actually the one who burned coolly between the two of them. Enoshima Junko, a blue flame. While Ikusaba was herself a controlled and manageable flame, Junko, a twisted and devious sort of stupid was beyond anybody’s comprehension.  
  
She the red flame, and Junko the blue flame.  
  
“What… Did you need something from Misogi? Is that why you’re suddenly acting so weird around me?”  
  
“No, I don’t need anything. That guy is useless anyway. It’s just that… It seems he’s doing a lot more stuff without me.”

“Hm? Are you two fighting? Have things been awkward.”  
  
“Nah, not at all, not at all… I’ve no better friend or rabbit. The only more loyal friend I've had is chaos.”  
  
“Ciasou?”  
  
“Chu! Chu!”

The secret language of siblings.  
Anyone overhearing them  would have no idea what the heck they were talking about. The fact that they were able to communicate like this just proved how scary siblinghood was - unless, well, Mukuro had no idea what she or Junko was saying either.  
A total communication breakdown.

She told Junko twin telepathy wasn’t real, but Junko never listened to her. Now they just sounded stupid together.  
  
Mukuro saw a stuffed rabbit in the corner and picked it up. “Did he make this for you? It’s cute.”  
  
“Of course you’d think that! You have the same bad taste as him! Upupupupupu!” Junko despite her headache started to giggle, and kicked her feet up in the air. Mukuro had to duck her head back to dodge her sister’s mad laughter on a whim.  
  
She leaned back clutching the rabbit. “Well, I’ve always liked rabbits…” She muttered as her arms wrapped tighter around it. “Oh… we’re talking aren’t we? We’re just talking… I don’t think we’ve ever talked like this.”  
  
“...” Enoshima Junko stopped laughing suddenly, cut off like somebody had dropped a guillotine and killed her mid laughter, or a noose had snapped around her neck cutting off her wind and her laughter.  
  
“Junko… you’re planning a murder aren’t you? That’s the only reason you would need me again. Please… if you ever cared about me once, even the tiniest bit just leave me out of it.”

“...”  
  
“I can’t…”  
  
“Of course you can’t, because you’re completely useless. I guess there’s no point in being a girl whose good for nothing but killing when you can be a regular old good for nothing! You really think I’d rely on someone like you? God, are you stupid? I guess you were stupid bcause if you’d ever thought once in your life from the moment you were born you would have just eaten me in the womb like a good twin. Ugh, just get away from me, the thought of involving a screw up like you in my perfect plan aleady makes me nauseous. In fact, can you stay at least five kilomters away from me from now on at all times?”  
  
“But this is an island… five kilometers away is just ocean water. Are you telling me to drown?”  
  
“Don’t even play my straight man! You’re not good at it!”

“Why don’t you try playing the straight man for once, it’s not as easy as it looks! Being the eccentric younger sister is obiously the easier role!” Mukuro shouted back at her.  
  
And suddenly, she was pushed off the bed.  
  
She watched her sister run out.  
  
It took her a moment to process what had just happened… Did….Junko just give her a sign?

A starting point.  
  
An incredibly messed up starting point, deep in the ninth circle of hell frozen in the same pit with lucifer, but a starting point nonetheless. Kumagawa said it was never too late. However, Ikusaba could not process it, she was too much in shock.

As Junko ran out. She was caught by a passing Pekoyama Peko.  
  
“Oh, I was just looking for you.”  
  
It could not be called a despairfully fateful encounter, because one of them had been pursuing the other.  
  
“I want to take responsibility as an upperclassmen for once.”  
  
“Eh?”  
  
“Use me as Ikusaba-san’s replacement.”  
  



	46. Survival Strategy (6 - Goodbye x Good Master)

_“The perfect crime.”_ _  
_ _“Murdery, robbery, blackmail, kidnapping.”_

 _“Some criminals don’t leave confusing riddles and clues for detectives to find. Some criminals leave nothing.”_ _  
_ _“A diabolical mastermind seeks to do the crime and not the time, covering his tracks in the most intricate of ways. The audience looks on in amazement as the criminal’s plan unfolds (or as the police unfold it for them), and right until the last minute, it looks like he will actually get away with it all.”_ _  
_ _“Justice and hope aside, after watching in the audience all the meticulous work our villain protagonist put into it, you almost want to see her get away with it.”_

“What are you doing exactly?” Enoshima Junko asked, tapping at her forehead with a red fingernail. She was used to hearing voices in her head when she got bored, but this one was particularly loud and annoying and would not get away.

_“I’m setting the scene with a little narration, my dear Junko-chan.”_

“Yeah, can you quit sounding like a walking tv tropes page in my head it’s annoying, and I’m like so over it already.”  
  
_“Sure as soon as  you quit sounding like a living breathing Mariana and the Diamonds song. See, I can make pop cultural references too Junko-chan it’s not that hard.”_

Enoshima Junko had finished explaining her plan to Pekoyama Peko. Offscreen of course, if it was explained onscreen and then everything went exactly according to plan as it always did in Junko’s case then that would just be spoiling future events of the story.

Hearing the details of her plan, Pekoyama Peko had sunk into a deep quiet, her eyes widening in shock. She had been just as quiet after losing Fuyuhiko, she had never wanted to feel that way again yet at the moment she felt so horrible she simply wanted to deny the reality in front of her. As if none of this world was real to begin with. Oh, the irony.  
  
“If you’re going to keep talking in my head and taking up valuable Junko time, you could at least give me some foreshadowing or something.”

_“Foreshadowing? What’s that Junko-chan? This isn’t a story. Life can only be understood backwards, but must be lived forwards. There’s no do-overs when it comes to life.”_

“Then this exchange is totally worthless!”

_“This is a pointless story after all. One that repeats over and over again, everybody doing the same thing having forgotten why they’re doing it in the first place.”_

“You just said there was no do-overs, and that this wasn’t a story!

Pekoyama Peko’s fragile mindset was shattered further, as she saw Enoshima Junko having a fight with thin air. As long as she had known Enoshima Junko that girl acted erratically, and claimed to be too mad to understand by others but she had never seen her genuinely act this strange. Perhaps it was separation from Kumagawa Misogi that had her acting like this, as dangerous as that boy was to everyone else he seemed to ground her. Pekoyama was quite the dangerous person as well, but it was only around Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu that she became grounded and gentle. _Ah, there’s a person who makes her human, and now without him she’s acting like a laughing mad fool._ She observed with eyes that despite glowing a bright red like a smothered cinder, were cold as ice.

Kuzuryuu Fuyuhiko, her young master, who had needed her as a person and not a tool. The boy who breathed life into her, the boy who had taken away that same life when he disappeared on her. He was the only person who had ever treated her like a human in that family the Kuzuryuu, but at the same time her role was to be his tool. He gave her humanity and denied it at the same time. An unworkable paradox, given time perhaps the two of them could have found a compromise and bridged the gap in communication but because this was a tragedy the axe had fallen too soon for both of them.  
  
Too soon, too soon. They had been together their entire lives. How was it too soon really? If they had talked just a little more before this, in the eighteen years they had been given together this could have been averted. Enoshima Junko had seen them for what they were, what they had left out to rot and pounced on it and sank her teeth into it so the rot could spread further, so there was nothing but rot, but they were the ones who had let things become that bad in the first place.  
  
Pekoyama was thinking about that now, because just as she reached her lowest point again, like a shark that could smell blood in the water Enoshima Junko appeared, smiling in a way that showed all of her pure white teeth. Without breaking her smile she had said such a terrible thing. Pekoyama Peko who had forgotten how to smile due to repeated trauma, she had no idea how this terrible woman was always smiling with such a carefree expression.  
  
“The perfect murder? Are you joking?”  
  
“This is no joke, nor jape, nor is it tomfoolery. Look, I could lie to you just as easily if I wanted to, I have the world’s best poker face having no emotions at all comes in handy for that. However, I could just as easily win playing with all of my cards face up on the table. In the end, you’ll do just what I said, as I said it.”

“There’s no way I could do that. Enough with this crap.” Pekoyama quickly drew her sword in an instant. One of those one draw finishing moves that appeared in movies and anime. However, Enoshima Junko tilted her head to the side to perfectly dodge and casually watched the blade slide past her face.  
  
“Oooooh, Pekoyama-senpai said a naughty word. Whatever could have you so upset?”

“That crazy performance you’re planning. There’s no way I could ever agree to such a thing, and if that’s what you’re planning I’ll stop you here. My life is one I can throw away and my hands are already blackened after all.”  
  
“Gooood, do you guys ever learn? This is literally the exact same mistake you made last time, and the time before that. But you know, this time your young master’s not around to wipe your ass for you.”

“Shut up! There’s no way I could ever let you do such a thing.” She swung her sword again and just as easily Enoshima Junko dodged. It was not that Junko was particularly strong or fast, she just seemed to know where Pekoyama would swing her sword before Pekoyama herself knew.  
  
“Right.I’m not the one who’s going to be doing it, just like I said, everybody else will do it for me.”  
  
“We’re not going to dance on your strings. I’m not an ultimate despair anymore! Enough of your games!”

“Whoa, so serious. I bet you’ve been waiting your whole life to say a cool line like that in the middle of a showdown, or maybe you get to say it all the time as a self serious yakuza. You know, if I had been born into the bloody world of Yakuza maybe I would not have gotten bored of life so easily… actually, now that I think about it a world of betrayal and constant bloodshed is probably something you’d get used to eventually. There’s just no hope for me.”  
  
“You can say that again…” Pekoyama said, watching the other girl continue to rant in front of her as she dodged consecutive blows. At this point she wanted just one hit to connect with the other girl so she could shut her up. She had once sworn mad devotion to Enoshima Junko, loving her to the point of madness, but at this moment she could not even believe that Enoshima Junko, and the quiet and dignified Ikusaba Mukuro were related.  
  
Enoshima Junko dove out of the way, and grabbed a bag which had been left on the floor of her cabin. When she recovered, she held the bag up to defend herself. It was a bookbag with a particularly trendy design, that looked like a cute monster was biting down with its teeth where the zipper opened up the bag. “Besides, you stand to gain.” Enoshima Junko said as she slowly unzipped the bag.  
  
“Me!?” Pekoyama Peko was truly amazed by her assertion. For her who was just a spare life in the killing game, who had lost her purpose, there was absolutely nothing she could gain. The Enoshima Junko that she knew was somebody who could lead anybody to a cliff and make them jump off themselves, but she truly must have been foolish if she was attempting a simple bribe on a girl with dead eyes like her.  
  
“Kumagawa Misogi possesses the ability to undo deaths. If we can escape this game, then we may be able to bring them all back. So what does it matter if we get our hands a little bloody on the way? It’s all meaningless, there are no consequences, ergo we can do whatever we want.”  
  
“How are we any different from every single person whose committed a murder so far? Just deciding to sacrifice one person for the sake of everybody else is inhumane, it’s unethical, there’s no honor in taking up the sword for that purpose. What the hell does this have anything to do with me.”

“You were perfectly fine with killing me so everybody else on this island would be safe a few weeks ago, is that character development? But… have you really grown all you’ve done is switched the person you clung to from Fuyuhiko to Hajime. Besides. Humane? Unethical? Nonsense, you fool! So, then I guess this is also an inhumane present!? You’re so ungrateful, after all the effort Medaka-chan and I went to to take this back from the mastermind.” Enoshima Junko had finished unzipping the backpack and thrust it in Pekoyama Peko’s face.  
  
Inside had been a cylindrical tank about 23.9 centimeters in height. The water inside splashed back and forth with the drama that Enoshima Junko was holding the tank up. Floating in the tank,was a head, with closed eyes one of them red and the other a oft fold color. The red eye had a terrible scar which extended from his forehead down to his cheek traveling straight through his eye. His hair was a soft blonde, the same color of his eyes, and cut short at the top and shaved at the sides. He was rather baby faced, and his cheeks still had a soft red circular blush the same as he did when he was alive.  
  
The head of Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu was floating in the tank, it slowly turned around to look Pekoyama Peko directly in the eye. Pekoyama Peko’s grasp of reality had always been tenuous, she had no wish to look at a world without Fuyuhiko after all. At the moment though, if she could escape by jumping into the sea and simply swimming away from this island, or if she could turn into an elegant white crane and fly away and escape by the sky, she would have done either. Anything not to face what was looking directly at her.

“...Young master.” Her voice cracked, as her eyes went cross. She felt herself on the precipice of madness, the same ledge that Enoshima Junko had led her to before and then wrapped an arm around her, pulled her close, and whispered into her ear with a hissing forked tongue, _jump down yourself, and drown in the watery despair below until you sink to the bottom._ She was reminded of that old story she had read because her adoptive parents had a fondness for classical japanese literature. Of the author who threw himself into the ocean with a woman and washed up on the shore alone. Except, she was the women who washed up on the shore and Fuyuhiko had died without her.  
  
“So, what if he were to come back to life? We’ve got his body, too. How about them ethics? How about that honor? ” Enoshima Junko whispered into her ear once more, tongue flicking back and forth.

♛

A tool. A tool. A tool.  
  
She was nothing more than a tool. A tool did not think for herself, and most of all she did not desire for herself. Yet, no matter how much she tried to suppress her humanity, pushing it down like murky waters it always seemed to come flooding back to her at the worst moments. That time she hesitated and watched as Fuyuhiko grabbed her sword, that time she said nothing as he was pulled away to be executed and stood there crying uselessly. She was sure, a human being like Fuyuhiko would have un after her and saved her if she was the one being executed.  
  
At this moment it came flooding back to her, like a sudden downpour. It welled up within her and leaked out of the corner of her eyes. The sight of Fuyuhiko’s face floating there in the water expressionless, no longer able to give her that charming and handsome smile she had once seen on his smooth and baby faced features.  
  
As much as she tried to deny them, images passed by her eyes welled up and blurred with tears. How many times had she coldly cut down actual human lives like they were nothing more than training dummies. The first time, she was so young she thought her adoptive guardians were asking her to do something unbelievably cruel. She had wished they had just let her die on that doorstep rather than taking her in for this purpose. Letting her live this long had only been cruel. She thought that, and her stomach wrenched, and she spent three long days crying and vomiting staring at her bloodied hands after she had killed her first person. At that point everyone in the household, even Natsumi abandoned her and said she was a failure. It was only Fuyuhiko who stood by her side every night, and sat next to her bedside watching her sleep. Like a true gentleman, he did not sleep himself because sleeping in the same room as a girl who you were not married with was against his code of honor. He got on his knees and begged his parents to give her a second chance, insisting she was not useless, that she had just caught a stomach bug. After that, it got much easier, and she was able to turn off all her emotions. After the first time, she grew numb to it, and stopped feeling anything in general. That’s right, that’s the kind of non-human she was, she could not even remember the number of people she had killed. Only that it started from a young age, because the yakuza was made up of grizzled old men and nobody would expect a silver haired little girl, with quiet features to be their enforcer. Did you count the number of times you brushed your teeth in the morning? Same with that.  
  
Her guardians had taken her in and best evaluated how she could be of use to the family after raising her by the first born heir’s side. She had a talent for assassination, that’s why she killed. She had no other purpose. The guardians who had taken her in not only secured Fuyuhiko, but her an invitation to that school as well. It would be risky to send their heir unguarded after all. When she was told to go there,s he was given a strange set of orders.

“An undercover operation? I’ll be playing the Ultimate Swordsman with no association to the family? Fuyuhiko will increase the family name and reputation if he attends that school? Are you sure this is the right assignment for me. I’ve never known any life outside this one, any friends or family so I don’t know how I’d pass for a normal… no, if that’s the assignment you’ve given me I’ll play the part. I shall be a stranger to Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu.”  
  
Ultimate Assassin would be more fitting for her, she thought as much as she had a fondness for the sword. She was just a killer after all. There was really no fine art in the method, sword, poison, gun, knife, or even a fork or spoon if you weren’t picky. Killing others was what she was used to. But, as the Ultimate Swordsman she would have to play the part of somebody who held a sword with honor, and devoted her life to the singular pursuit of the sword.  
  
She had a lot of respect for the sword, so she could play the part convincingly well enough. The quiet and distant classmate with an honorable and strong personality. In reality though, it’s not that she respected the sword so much as envied it. She wanted to be just like a sword, made of metal, never breaking, cutting without any discretion at all, and always at her master’s side. A sword did not have to think, she could have relied entirely on Fuyuhiko for the thinking, being wielded by him would mean always being with him. She would have no desires of her own, and therefore she would never disagree with him. To her that would be the perfect life, and to achieve that life, just like a sword she was uncaring about how many times she was swung, or what was cut down by her.

She didn’t want to have desires, as it turned out her desires were quite different from her young master’s. Despite being childhood friends, because Fuyuhiko had such a strict code of honor they had never shared a bath together, or even slept in the same room, even during the time of their life they would have regarded themselves as more like brother and sister. In public they could never be seen together. Now that they were older, she could not touch him, lean on him, or even hold hands like they were younger. She wanted to be a sword, content at his side but she desired for so much more. Even if it was against his code of honor, she would not mind bathing together even before they were married.

Fuyuhiko, the only person in that household that looked her in the eye. The only one that did not strike her, or threaten her with abandonment when she failed. Around him, she wanted to be human, but being human was fragile, was painful, was full of hesitation and regret and she could afford none of those things if she wanted to be useful to him and cut down his enemies with cold indifference, so around him she was terrified of how human he made her as well.

No matter how much she tried ot suppress them, the memories kept coming to her like a sudden downpour of rain. They were not supposed to be seen together at school, Fuyuhiko had ordered her several times. She spent most of her time training alone then, which is why she lost track of time in refining the art of the sword. It was better to be like this, as lonely as it was the numbness would prevent any of that icky humanity from pouring out the cracks in the dam that she had tried to plaster over and over again. It was better to be alone but… she had completely lost track of the time. By the time she finished she noticed it was raining outside, she had not even planned ahead enough to take an umbrella. She thought she would just have to walk home alone in the rain, it was something she had done many times before. Usually, she liked the rain it was convenient, if she stood in it long enough the blood would drip, drip, drip off of her sword, and soak her white shirt through enough to wash it out, and she could watch the red tinged rainwater drain down a sewer. Also, if she came home like that Fuyuhiko would throw a fuss and get flustered, even though he should have already known that she wore a black lace bra considering they had been living in the same household together for several years. She liked the attention his flustering gave her, even though she hated herself for lacking the discipline and desiring such a thing.

However, just as she thoguht she would have to walk home cold and alone, in a sky whose heavy and dark clouds blotted out all light, suddenly a single ray of sunshine appeared. Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu, looking as grumpy as ever waiting fo her. Just like the time she had gotten sick and he waited the entire time at the foot of her bed when everybody else gave up on her. He shoved an umbrella in her face and made to walk off on his own alone with nothing more than his book bag over her head. However, Pekoyama would not let him. She would be a terrible tool if she let him walk in the rain alone with no umbrella, and she was a terrible girl for wanting to be by his side under the umbrella just like young lovers in mvoies.  
  
“At least let me hold the umbrella.”  
  
“I can’t let you do that, young master. You shouldn’t have to trouble yourself holding the umbrella for me.”  
  
“Hey, that’s not what what you really think Peko, Just say it. Say I’m too short to hold the umbrella, and you have to hold the umbrella because you’re taller than me.”  
  
“I would never think such a thing, Young Master. The Young Master is perfect, just as he is.”  
  
Fuyuhiko was never enough for his parents it seemed, that was why he was so desperate to prove himself. However, the boy who accepted her all those years back when she fell sick after killing for the firs ttime was gentle, patient, and kind. Those were the qualities his parents tried to stamp out of him, but perhaps if she could become ruthless and cold in his place, then he would not need to change too much.. She could protect him, by bloodying her hands. She did not need Fuyuhiko to grow strong enough to fight and stand on his own. She wanted him to rely on her foreve. She wanted him to keep being the Fuyuhiko she loved forever.  
  
The two of them walked together under one umbrella, she tilting the umbrella to cover his head more than her own. He reached behind her back and held onto her sword case, because he was too shy to hold onto her hand. They walked in even pace, and never did one of them fall behind and need to catch up with the other. The scene reminded Peko of something she had carved into a tree hidden in the corner of the Kuzuryuu private property, her name and Fuyuhiko’s, together under an umbrella. She carved such a romantic thing with a knife used for assasination, blood on it still dried and flaky as she had no washed it that day.  
  
As the rain washed that memory away, just like it had the blood new memories flashed by her mind. Sneaking out to attend a festival in a Yukata, because Fuyuhiko was surprised she had never been to one before (her guardians considered that unnecessary to her training and went together with Natsumi and Fuyuhiko without her)  to make her smile. Only to be surrounded by men in black suits and have a gagged stuffed in her mouth. Keeping her calm while the other boy was panicking, noticing one of the men in suits had a sword on his hip lie he was an old fashioned yakuza from a movie. Cutting them all down like it was routine with the sword she stole, the moment he let his guard down. Killing him first, and then the driver causing the truck to crash. Carrying Fuyuhiko out the back and telling him to sit still while she took care of the rest of the men who came out of the truck. Blood splashing carelessly, as she cut them down without a thought. The beautiful Yukata that Fuyuhiko had picked out for her, and Natsumi had taught her how to tie became soaked through with blood. Her pure white hair fell out of its usual braids, and blood splashed on that too, sinking into it and staining it like ink on a blank sheet of paper. She tried to give Fuyuhiko a smile when he let out a wine of worry. He broke out into tears and ran away from her like she was no different than the men who she cut down. Perhaps she was no different from them.  
  
Her running after him in the woods, until her sandal broke and she tripped over. She got up again and tried to limp after him even with a broken ankle. No matter how terrified he had been a moment ago though, when he saw her fall down a second time he immediately turned around and offered a hand to her. When she could not walk, he offered his back. She was supposed to be the one he relied on at a time like this, but the young master terrified and crying was always being strong for her sake, and always waiting for her to catch up.  
  
The many times she had seen the young master’s parents interact with him as father and son. Handing him a model boat, while she watched from behind the sliding door because she was merely a guest in this house. The way her guardian changed when he was addressing her, no emotion and fondness in his voice, even though she was nothing more than a little girl with braids in her hair. She had to earn her spot as a guest in his house after all. The times that Fuyuhiko had appeared before her, bruises on his face when his father had decided to act like a Yakuza head first before a father. Those times when after she reached out for him in concern, he ran away from her tears in his eyes, and the fabric of the sleeves he was wearing slipped through her fingers as she reached out for him.  
  
When they received an invitation for a special school, and she saw him walking away from her again, always ahead of her. Always just out of reach. She sat at the desk during lunch period and ate alone, watching through the window as she saw Fuyuhiko settling an argument between Kazuichi and Komaeda. She was always around some corner watching him, or glancing at him from some window, and because of that a rumor had started about them. Another slip up on her part, brought about by her unchecked desires.

Natsumi’s funeral portrait. Her watching Fuyuhiko punch the wall over and over again until his knuckles were completely bloody, and the wall had no indents at all. A metaphor for his life. She told him, she would take care of it for him, and he raised his voice to her for the first time in a long time telling her to stay out of it. She had no idea why, perhaps he was afraid she would screw it up as she had been of less and less use to him lately. She was so frozen by the anger in his voice, that she could not even move after that point. She was so terrified, of the one person who saw any value in her at all coming to hate her. She was so afraid of him hating her that she did nothing at all, just as he asked.

When she saw him the next day, he was standing over a body. At the school they had attended to escape their lives as Yakuza trash, they were once again standing in a pool of blood. No emotion on his face at all, he clung to the bat in his hands stained with pink. She realized in that moment, exactly what Fuyuhiko had felt when she stood in front of him after slaughtering their kidnappers. She was terrified to see the person she loved, sinking their hands so deep into pools of blood. She was afraid that Fuyuhiko would be caught and pulled under, never to be seen again. That was why she should have been the one to act.  
  
Always sitting at the edges, always watching as tragedy unfolded in front of her, she suddenly appeared taking a step on stage from the audience. A blonde girl, standing proudly with her hands on her hips, a smile on her face that showed all of her teeth, and her shirt unbuttoned with a loose tie hanging from her neck.  
  
That day her young master had stayed in the classroom late, wondering how he could possibly cover up the string of murders that occurred in the school. He had been desperate to handle it on his own, and thought too quickly as always. Vengeance not giving him the satisfaction he thought it would, He just felt empty.  
  
Pekoyama had watched from the hallway, unsure of what to do. Every time she became emotional for her master’s sake, those emotions just made things worse. The moment she hesitated, that blonde girl walked straight past her with no regard or decorum at all. She walked in front of Fuyuhiko and put a hand on the desk drawing his attention up. Pekoyama always wondered how that girl could act without any hesitation or regard for others, how she could so easily become intertwined with anybody’s story as she pleased… Perhaps because she had no story of her own, because there was nothing inside of her, she was what Pekoyama had always strived to be, completely empty on the inside, driven by nothing, and thus capable of doing anything.  
  
That woman appeared before her too, and offered her a way to continue by her master’s side. “That’s all you should care about, right? Who cares about the rest of the world, as long as you can stay by Kuzuryuu-senpai…” She whispered into her ear, as she dug her claws into her shoulder.  
  
Then, afterwards her memories were a blur. She just remembered letting go of everything, and feeling nothing at all just like she had always wanted, while her master finally used her like a sword, ordering her to cut down what was in front of her, and laughing in the background madly. That was Ultimate Despair, but she had not minded it at all. Just like Enoshima Junko had told her, the rest of the world could burn for all she cared as long as she got to stay by his side. Her master was finally smiling at her, proud of her for her work, relying on her strength. She could finally stop being human, and start being the sword he always depended on and never gone without.  
  
She had been truly happy like that. She just wanted things to be like that. Right? Right? That was her despair. She could finally go completely numb and not feel anything at all, the anxiety of living, the pain of living, she had let it all go.  
  
“I… I never wanted a tool! I just wanted you! Only you!”  
  
Those words were her hope. With that hope, the pain, the anxiety, the doubts, and worst all the regrets of being a human all came back to her. Hope was incredibly painful, it was not the serenity or the warm relief that her classmate Komaeda imagined it to be.  
  
She reached the end of her thoughts. The water again, washed away the scenes she remembered. She had broke down crying in front of Enoshima Junko apparently, now that she was dragged back to reality she saw Enoshima standing over her smiling as always, and her master’s head still floating in that water.  
  
_There is nothing I won’t do for you._ _  
_ _Even if you don’t ask first._ _  
_ _It costs me nothing._ _  
_ _To give you my everything._ _  
_ _Because I’m nothing._ _  
_ _Everything good about me, is tied up in you, young master.  
_ _  
_ She reached out for the image of him, only for him to fade away before she could even reach him. He slipped through her fingers once again. He went ahead of her once again. This time, she had no confidence he was waiting for her like all the other times.  
  
His image broke away completely, and all she was left with was the lonely reality. The girl who smiled absurdly as she taunted her with her young master’s weeks old corpse. There was no honor in doing this. She could not even say she was doing it for his sake, because she knew if she did this he would hate her.  
  
But, even if he abandoned her. Even if she could never see him again after this. Him being alive would be enough for her. She reached out now, her fingers touching the cool sides of the glass tank and her forehead bumping against the glass. “I am terribly sorry I will not be able to serve by your side until the very end… young master… good bye…”

To be loyal to him, she would have to betray him.  
  
She was not acting on her young master’s wishes, but her own.  
  
This was her first decision as a human being.  
  
This was her original sin.  
  
There was no going back from this, she decided. No garden she could return to. Even her own memories would be washed away by this one act, by the blood she would shed, but she had already decided it for him.  
  
For her master who made her feel so human, for her master who made her desire, for her master who made her desire such awful and selfish things. No, this was all for herself.  
  
To be human was to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. That was what Ajimu Najimi had said, more or less, though she should really back off my job as the narrator. I’m going to have to punish her some more. Pekoyama made the same selfish mistake again, she decided to whatever Enoshima Junko said.  
  
Enosima Junko smiled at this. "You're a sword, and an insurmountable shield. Pity, wouldn't it be if your king didn't need either, senpai."  
  
“I’m sorry, my friend Hajime…”  
  
"Right now, he needs you. Can you really turn your back on him?"  
  
"I'm so sorry..." 

 

♛

 

Hinata Hajime woke up in the middle of  the night.  
  
He had the worst feeling again that somebody was talking about him behind his back. He looked to the side and wondered where he had fallen asleep, and when. They were taking shifts watching over Komaeda in between tending to his wounds, and making sure nobody else on the island made a move on him.  
  
They were also taking shifts sleeping, making sure somebody was awake at all times. It must have been his turn to sleep, but before this he had spent the days sleeping on the floor to make sure Komaeda had the entire bed to recover. It seemed he had made a small mistake and fallen asleep on Komaeda’s bed. He did not remember the context of how or why, he just saw the other boy next to him. His pale hair and features stark against a room which had no light at all. Because Komaeda kept reopening his wounds, the bandages on his arms, and on his legs were drenched in a deep maroon and needed to be changed regularly.  
  
His eyes glanced over as he checked again. Perhaps, he should wake Komaeda up and change his bandages once more. The boy had already been so sick that he nearly died on his own without a murderer, they could not risk any of his wounds getting infected. Especially when there were no medical talents left on the island.

Yet, Hinata had watched Komaeda sleep most nights. Even before he was injured, he had shared a bed with the boy several times as he came to sneak into his cabin, always making some sort of excuse on how he could not be allowed to go unsupervised because of how dangerous he was, when Hinata knew the real reason was Komaeda was just lonely and did not want to admit it, and simply nodded along because he was lonely and did not want to admit it either.  
  
Those nights which he had watched Komaeda sleep. Komaeda who was always smiling, and saying he deserved what happened to him, that he was trash who was destined to suffer, and seemed to accept his lot in life with a smile. That Komaeda always cried in his sleep, and shuddered at indescribable horrors. His mouth muttered again and again apologies. He apologized for being born, for existing, if Komaeda was a shinigami than he was a mournful one who fell on his knees and begged human beings in remorse every time he appeared and disaster inevitably followed. He was one who wished just as desperately that he was among the corpses he collected and ferried to the realm of the dead so he could escape harming another village. He was the one who wanted to drink the water he saw all the human souls drink, so he could forget.  
  
For the first time since they had started sharing a bed however, Hinata saw Komaeda sleeping entirely peacefully. The boy usually breathed unevenly, and his chest rose and fell in uneven rhythms as if the act of breathing itself was painful but for this moment he was breathing without issue as well. All Komaeda longed for was just a moment of peace, to bathe in serenity. There was no way Hinata could take that away from him. So, he decided he would just change the bandages in the morning. And closed his eyes and went back to sleep immediately. It was easy to fall asleep quickly when you were not thinking at all.  
  
Otherwise he might have realized that Komaeda Nagito slept so soundly for the first time because he was merely pretending to sleep. He sat up in the bed and observed Hinata’s sleeping face. There was something about Hinata’s relaxed features that brought out a longing with him. It was not just that Hinata made him happy, he was foolishly beginning to believe that Hinata might be happy in his presence. That just as Hinata’s presence relieved him, that he could bring some relief to the boy whose features were always twisted up in exasperation and exhausting from trying so hard for the sake of others, and to prove himself to others.To see that boy’s features happy. He thought he was simply okay witnessing the happiness of others, to watch from the sidelines basking in them but that was not enough. As Kumagawa warned him, his greed was infinite, he wanted for more, he wanted to be the source of that happiness. Of all the happy times, and all the sad times too, he wanted to be at the heart of both. At the center of things, right next to him.  
  
Yet, at this moment he forced hismelf to sit up, no matter how much it made his body constructed only of bones and a thin layer of skin to deceive others into thinking he was human creak in exertion. He was only bones, that’s what it felt like at least his body was so emaciated and neglected, and at this moment his bones were screaming at him for moving. All he needed to do was lie next to the bed, and next to Hinata to be at peace but he could not do that. Clumsily, like a walking skeleton might he climbed over hinata’s sleeping form.  
  
He had not left this bed in days, except to go to the bathroom. Even when that happened he was supported by Hinata’s shoulder on the walk there and back. Yet, suddenly he forced himself back on his feet again. The moment he did, the gashes underneath his bandages that he had carved out on his thigh with a knife reopened again. Lood dripped from his upper leg, to the inside of his thigh, across his knee and onto the ground. It pooled at his feet and yet he still forced himself to take a step forward.  
  
With the first step he took his knee buckled forward threatening to send him falling over. He quickly put a bandaged hand on that knee, forcing it to straighten again. He took another step, and then another. Even if he did make it very far, it would be obvious where he went because he was leaving bloodied footprints with each step, and soaking the floor with his disgusting and vile blood. He really was such a mess. Everywhere he went a mess would be left in his wake. He was stupid for saying he liked clean and tidy places, there was no way he would ever be responsible for anything clean or beautiful. Everything he touched became a mess. He struggled forward. It was stupid, what he was doing. Merely stupid and selfish. He was probably just doing it for terribly petty reasons, like attention, or to act out. He probably just wanted Hinata to stop him again, and shower him in even more affection. He was like a child breaking things on purpose, nothing more than a needy brat.  
  
Yet, when he had seen Hinata next to him in bed he was truly happy. It was impossible for anyone to ever be truly satisfied at any time in their life, yet he had been right now. Even at his worse, Hinata would reach out his hand for him, would pull him close and tend to his wounds. As Mikan had cried and wailed about before, begging for foriveness, he felt forgiven by Hinata. Yet, in that moment as happy as he was, all of that happiness sank into despair. As he remembered again, that the person who had paid the price fo his current happiness was Hianta. He saw the bandages that Hinata was trying to hide under his shirt when Hinata rolled over to the side a bit. He remembered the image of a chunk being torn out of him by a spear. Komaeda still saw the world in painfully black and white terms. He knew that his happiness would always come at the cost of somebody else’s.  
  
Being happy at this moment was selfish. His happiness had hurt everyone around him, and if he healed any more, if he experienced any more good luck it would be everyone else around him that paid the price for this. He remembered the metaphor he first told Hinata when he tried to explain his luck.  
  
Say you are hit by a car. Then, a beautiful nurse tends to your wounds in the hospital and you fall in love. Komaeda’s first love happened in middle school. He had been walking  on a sidewalk when a car plowed right into him, coming out of nowhere. When he woke up in the hospital, for the first time in his life he met a nurse who took him seriously, and listened to every one his needs instead of insisting he was merely pretending to be sick and it was all in his head. A cute, male nurse. Komaeda considered this the good luck after the bad, he really did love that nurse, the first person who he had allowed himself to love.  
  
By coincindence, the nurse caught an incredibly rare and fatal disease while working his job in the same hospital. He was taken off Komaeda’s case in order to recover. He never did as the symptoms suddenly and unexpectedly accelerated. The doctor who was a specialist in that rare was in a severe car accident as well when he was quickly coming back from a vacation in order to attend to the nurse.  
  
The nurse deteriorated quickly, and died painfully. All because he had been kind to somebody who deserved no kindness at all. If he loved eople as people, then those human beings fragile as they were would break. He could only worship them from afar, that was the only safe option.  
  
Yet, no matter how hard he tried he could not see Hinata as anything deserving of worship. He was just a normal boy through and through. A boy who got angry normally, a boy who cooled down and forgave him normally, a boy who talked to him about nothing special at all, and always managed to say the most oddly normal thing. A boy with a normal amount of patience. A boy with a normal amount of kindness. He could not make out Hinata to be a messiah that suffered for his sake, after all Hinata could only handle a normal amount of pain before he broke down. He was weak like that.  
  
A normal boy that he just wanted to love normally.  
But, that did not exist for him. He only existed in black and white, in extremes one way or the other. If he let go of his rigid framing of the world, the only thing that was holding him together then everything else would fall apart.  
  
He stumbled forward finally until he reached a drawer. He pulled it open, and found a scissors inside. Exactly what he was looking for, he held it in his palm underneath his thumb and contemplated it for a moment. Dying gargling, tasting his own blood, choking on it, it would be quick at least. He should have asked Kumagawa how painful dying was, because the method by poison he had been planning was much quicker than this would be.  
  
He just needed to jab it straight into his throat, but, just like when he was holding onto the rope that connected the spear his fingers hesitated.

『Nagito-chan, that’s no good. If you want to cut yourself then cut vertically along the veins in your wrist. If you just jab a pair of scissors into your throat messily, you’ll get blood all over. You won’t go quietly either, you’ll wriggle back and forth like a worm.』    
  
A lot of people had been relying on Kumagawa for advice lately, but that was a mistake. Kumagawa actually did not know how to advise anyone. He could never give a person a reason to live, or a way to fix themselves. All he knew how to do was connect to the pain of others, and then vent those ugly and terrible emotions.

Kumagwa had shown up suddenly behind him like a walking shadow. His unpleasant voice speaking was enough to rouse Hinata from his sleep once more.  
  
Hinata saw what Komaeda was doing and stumbled over out of the bed. Komaeda let go of the scissors dropping it to the side, as his knees buckled and he collapsed in on himself falling back. Before he could fall all the way, Hinata was already at his side catching him. He did not want to fall comfortably into Hinata’s arms however, because he knew he would never deserve such a thing so he pushed the boy away with all of his might. Despite violently flailing his limbs at him, Hinata was suddenly stronger some how, and grabbed a hold of one of his arms to stabilize him.

As Hinata put a ifrm hand on his shoulder, his eyes began to spin. His eyes were like clouds, but now those clouds were spinning around each other dangerously in a tempest, of black hope and white despair, or white hope and black despair, he did not know the difference anymore. Everything became so confusing for him.

  
“Why are you doing this? Don’t hurt yourself anymore, I can’t take it. I thought we were making progress…”  
  
“Y..you don’t get it.”  
  
“Are you doing this to hurt me, is that it?”  
  
“No, you don’t get it! This is the only way to avoid hurting you! I left a food in the door for you, I wanted you to figure me out, I couldn’t commit all the way. I wanted you, I wanted you… I couldn’t… bring myself to. One way or the other I can never decide, hope, despair, hope, despair…”  
  
“I don’t get what you’re talking about! Why do you even want to die so badly?”  
  
Komaeda’s eyes had become incomprehensible spirals, anybody who stared in them was bound to get lost, but Hinata stared regardless. Ready to plunge into the depths for his sake, even though Komaeda knew he could not handle it because he was just a normal boy he would do it anyway. That was what he loved about him, but that was alos what he hated about him because he could only see black and whites and yet at the same time could never decide. “I… I’m the one whose preventing hope from shining on this island. That’s why I need to die. If I was out of the way, then everything would be better…Don’t you want to find hope Hinata-kun? Don’t you want to become the hero you were always meant to be?”  
  
“I don’t care about hope anymore! I don’t care about being a hero! All I care about is you!” Hinata said, as he grabbed the other boy and pulled him close. Hinata was embracing him. It was a romantic thing to do in this moment, but it was the worst possible thing to do. All Komaeda could do was stare up at the ceiling and see the spear that would come to fall pierce straight through them both.  
  
Why was Hinata doing this? It was just because he was too stupid to realize, that was probably it. He read Moby DIck and did not pick up on the metaphor, he did not understand that it’s the sailors inability to let go of his obsessions that doomed him in the end. That pulled him into the depths. He could not see that Komaeda was trying to spare Hinata from being pulled down into the depths and drowning with him.  
  
It was the least he could do. He had given up on hope at this point, he knew he would never amount to that. It was like Kumagawa said, he was too weak to even be a stepping stone, any flame lit with him as the fuel would be too weak and die out quickly. All he wanted was to make sure Hinata did not share the same fate as him but he could not even do that.

“Let go of me! Let go! Let go! Let go! Get off of me! I don’t want to be touched by ugly things!” Komaeda said, breaking down further. “Just die in the killing game already, if I’m not going to die then you should die in my place. You’re just a stepping stone just like me.” Violently he tried to shake his way out of Hinata’s arms, until Hinata let him go looking with fear.  
  
“I… I don’t get what I’m doing wrong… I don’t understand what you’re saying at all…Why, why when I try to help you do I just hurt you more? It makes no sense…I’m doing my best…”  
  
Komaeda almost wanted to snap out of it at this moment. If he had any control at all over the switch that was flipped in him, he would have done it. Done anything to smile like normal and tell Hinata it was all a joke.

『Hajime-chan. Nagito-chan is going manic, he’s probably in a lot of pain and confused. It’s best to ignore what he says. He’s not going to make any sense to you, and he probably doesn’t make any sense to himself either….』  Kumagawa watched in the background, the ever smiling shadow not bothered by any of this. He took a step forward and leaned over the both of them. 『Nagito-chan, it’s always like this with you. Didn’t you and Hajime-chan talk about this already? You need to stop bottling up your emotions until they all spill out, just tell him what’s wrong.』    
  
“I can’t... I can’t… nobody will understand it even if I explain it.”  
  
Suddenly, Kumagaawa stepped in between Hinata and Komaeda and slammed his fist hard right into Komaeda’s stomach. As usual he switched just as fast as Komaeda, and Komaeda was almost envious of how in control Kumagawa seemed over flipping that switch as he twisted his fist in his stomach like a screw. 『There’s a pretty easy way to communicate, when words are no use. You can cry.』    
  
Hinata already had moved to get Kumagawa away from Komaeda. He basically charged at him like a speeding bull and pushed him away before he returned to Komaeda’s side. When he looked back he saw, tears had welled in the corners of Komaeda’s eyes. Despite ow gloomy the boy was, Hinata noticed he cried very little.  
  
Hinata reached forward and put a hand on him again, and Komaeda’s eyes still like swirling white and black clouds, started to produce rain on their own. “I’m sorry…. I… I’m sorry you got hit by the spear. I’m so scared… I’m so scared and I hate myself so much for it I want to die…” He said finally, all the emotions that he had kept in spilling out.  
  
“I don’t hate you.” Hinata said firmly.  
  
“I wish you would.”  
  
“Do you really mean that?”  
  
“No… but if I was a good peson, I would…”  
  
“I don’t want you to be a good person. I want you to be you. I don’t need hope, all I need is you Nagito.”  
  
The words he most wanted to hear. Yet, they wee not able to soothe him like he expected. The tears kept coming, an ugly and unpleasant cry. Hajime probably hated him for staining his shirt with his tears.

『Nagito-chan, why do you want to die so badly?』    
  
“It’s painful…All I do is hurt others. I’ve done something terible to you, you won’t want me to live when you know.”

『That’s okay. Living is nothing but pain. It’s a punishment. Seeing others, getting close to them, getting hurt by them, trying again and again, life is just the accumulation of small punishments, it’s getting punished together.』    
  
When Hajime carried him back on the bed, he carried Komaeda bridal style like a delicate princess and laid him down. Kumagawa who had disappeared from the room returned with rope. Hinata and Kumagawa argued about it for several minutes while Komaeda just lied there, before concluding that knowing Komaeda despite the fact that everything seemed to be settled right now it would probably become unsettled fifteen minutes later.  
  
To make sure he did not wander anywhere again while they went to take a break, Kumagawa very lightly restrained him like a hospital patient being tied down to the bed. Hinata stepped away from the room.  
  
When Kumagawa joined him outside, he was staring at his feet. “I’m sorry. I’m always forcing you to play the bad guy, while I play the hero aren’t I?”

『I don’t mind. I’m used to being hated after all.』    
  
“What do you mean by that?”

『Oh, is this the part where I tell you my backstory just like Komaeda did? Sadly, it’s not as neat and tidy as good luck proceeded by bad luck. In fact a lot of it is a blur for me. Hmmmm, after being let go from that cult I was taken to a clinic and experimented on. However, they dubbed me a failed product and I was let go.』  

“Jeez, though break.”

『That’s basically my life story in two wods. Nicely put, Hajime-chan. Afterwards I wandered the streets for awhile. I stole to survive, and when people got close to where I slept I picked fights with them to scare them away. The only moments of peace I had, were staring at manga volumes I fished out of the trash. They were easy to read, because they had pronunciation guides, and when I couldn’t read them I looked at the picture.』    
  
“For a guy who doesn’t know how to read you sure do meta speak a lot.”

『A picture is worth a thousand words, Hajime-chan, and manga is the ultimate story telling form. Around middle school, a rumor got spread around about me. They called me the immortal demon Kumagawa, and because of that everybody wanted to test it out. Gangs from all over the city started jumping me, high schoolers, middle schoolers, I was ambushed again and again and I lost every fight. However, no matter how much they kicked me or stepped on me I always got up until they ran away terrified.』    
  
“Wait, so did you become a gang leader or a famous delinquent like Mondo?”

『I fought him once, but I don’t think I would qualify for that talent. Even gang members have things like codes of honor, and reason. I’m lacking in both qualities. I’m merely violence personified, I just lashed out and did whateve I want.』    
  
“Because you’re the worst.”

『Yep. Pretty much. Eventually I met Ajimu-san who calmed me down a little bit. I went to middle school and attended every single day and even became class president. Just when I finally thought I was reforming, Ajimu-san committed suicide. I tried to stop her, but it looked like I had been the one to kill her. It was easier to just be the bad guy then explain myself, so I was expelled from the school.』    
  
“Aren’t you the guy always yelling at us to communicate?”

『After that I started to transfer to different schools. I transferred to one a month about, for three years straight. Every time I went to a school, I would be ganged up on and attacked just like the ne’er do wells did in middle school. I never got to enjoy a school or make freinds, I would always be kicked out in less than a few weeks. Eventually, I got tired of waiting for people to attack me and attacked first, and gave them reasons to hate me. That was probably just self justification though.』    
  
“If you keep pointing out your flaws for me then it’s going to make it hard for me to point out our flaws.”

『Then, I transferred to Hope’s Peak instead of Sandbox Academy because Shiranui asked me, but really it was just a whim that I decided to go along with her plan. It’s really rare for me to listen to others. Because of that I met Junko-chan, and you a little  bit later. It was lots of fun, Hajime-chan.』  
  
“Do… do you regret it? Even though all I’ve ever done is despise you and made you play the bad guy.”

『Nope. It was lots of fun. I’m glad I met you. I hope we can become friends! If not this life, then the next one! I'm sure next time around we'll get along better, well it will probably be exactly the same things tend to repeat.』 

Kumagawa was a liar, but Hinata could not tell where the lie was in that statement. He squeezed his eyes shut hard. He had no idea what to do with Komaeda, but no matter what Kumagawa always seemed to be there with him.   
  
"Did you ever... did you ever once experience any good luck?"  
  
『Hmm, I guess... Meeting Junko was my good luck.』    
  
"There's no way that could ever be seen as good luck, unless your standards were completely warped. You should have higher standards for yourself, please!"  
  
『That's fine. I don't need any more good luck. Meeting Junko was enough for me, that's the only good luck I need.』    
The two of them went silent. 

『Like you should be talking Hajime-chan with your taste in men. What's the difference between a hope gremlin and a despair gremlin?』  

  
"Sssshhh... Don't compare us, I don't think I can mentally handle it." 

『You know, Hajime-chan we’re both minuses. You’re the perfect prototype, and I’m the failed product.』    
  
It was getting harder to hate a guy like that. As cruel as he was, he was always just as kind. He was not one way or the other, he was like a mix of both things and those parts were getting harder to tell apart as the lines got blurrier.  
  
“Yeah…maybe, but there’s no way a guy like me could ever result in anything perfect. Even if you erased every part of me, I’d still be an inappropriate vessel. Even if I have every talent, somehow I’m still the worst person ever… ”

『You don’t need to be so dramatic, Hajime-chan. It’s 2 am.  Does being so self involved all the time ever exhaust you?』Kumagawa said, before smiling and barely being able to hold back his laughter at the other.

『I don’t care if you hate me, but you should hate yourself a little less Hajime-chan.』  
  
“You should care if you’re hated…”  
  
No matter what that boy was always laughing. He was tired of being laughed at, so he might as well laugh with him. Hajime Hinata laughed, and fell asleep a few minutes afterwards.

 

♛

 

The next time Komaeda woke up, because sleep would never embrace him gently no matter how much he twisted his body around and tried to throw his arms around sleep, he saw something akin to a ghost sitting at the foot of his bed. First he thought he had gone slightly crazier than usual, but, it was not a ghost just a girl who looked like a ghost. Her silver hair glowed slightly in the low light, along with her red eyes that gave Pekoyama Peko the impression that she belonged to this realm but the realm of the dead.

As the girl took a few steps closer to him, Komaeda got the distinct impression that his initial guess was not that far off. The girl had a look about her the same that Mikan did when she approached his bed with a pillow in her hands. On Pekoyama, that look was much more melancholy. She looked like a beautiful tragic heroine, about to get slain in a stage play. At least that is how Komaeda would put it, though his mind much like Hinata’s tended to be dramatic.  
  
She stopped at the side of his bed, then leaned against it. “Nagito, do you remember the first day that we all got together as a class? Chiaki played video games with us…”  
  
“Yeah…”  
  
“There was a look of a bright future in that moment. To be honest I wasn’t like the young master, I had no interest in my classmates at all. I only sized you up as a potential danger, but the young master insisted I relax around you and give you a chance. He thought you were just a little bit on the weird side, and meant well.”  
  
“You told me.”  
  
“Hey, do you think if Ensohima Junko never appeared, if Fuyuhiko had never died, if we were all still here together. Do you think that we would have been able to become friends?”  
  
“I… I don’t have any friends. I can’t.”    
  
“I know, it’s because you were surrounded by death growing up. You feel like anybody you get into close contact with, you’ll drag them into that same kind of world. That’s how Fuyuhiko and I felt about the rest of the class. They shouldn’t get too close, because they were good kids who didn’t deserve to get dragged into the world of Yakuza.”

“Everybody admired you, Pekoyama-san.”

“That wasn’t the real me. That was just me acting as a tool, being pleasant, distant, beautiful, just like the young master expected of me. If anybody could have become friends with the two of us though… it would probably be you and Hajime. Hajime because no matter what he would never be dissuaded away from the inherent dnager in our lives, and would insist on still trying to be friends with us, and you because we’re the same.”  
  
“What…? I’m nothing like you… you’re so beautiful…”  
  
“We both have colorless hair, we both can’t control our emotions, and we’re both dead inside, to the point that we look like shinigami. All my appearance means, is that somebody is going to die soon. That’s all I’m capable of as a hitman.”  
  
“That’s an expression of talent though. That’s something you can control. That’s different from my luck.”  
  
“I never once was in control of myself, Nagito. I only ever did as others wanted of me. The times I acted on my own, I lost control. You should know that, you were on Enoshima’s side watching as she fell into despair.”  
  
“That wasn’t you using your talent for hope, that was despair. Of course you would lose control.”  
  
“You always draw such neat and tidy lines Nagito, but unfortunately I can’t see it that way. The world has always been gray for me. Hope and despair get so mixed up that they become indistinguishable from one another. Having hope can be painful, having despair can feel like a release. I think you realize it too, don’t you…?”

“...”

“The way that you’re most like me though, is neither of us can live for ourselves. I thought Hajime was like me in that aspect too, but I realized Hajime will always find somebody new. Even now, when he’s lost his close friends, and you were put in danger he’s already getting close to Kumagawa-kun his natural enemy.”

“I… I’m nothing like an Ultimate… please don’t disgrace yourself..”  
  
“You and I both admire that quality of his. Hinata’s always trying to move forward, he has a boundless energy for life, he puts his trust in others, but for you and I it’s not so simple… we’re not alive like he is.”

She raised up her sword.

“Lingering affection, it’s what’s keeping us alive. Both you, and me…”

Komaeda expected her to kill him, and this time he tried to crawl away even though he was restrained to the bed. He struggled against those restraints. All Pekoyama did was cut at the ties that bound him to the bed. Slowly, and deliberately. Then, she leaned over the bed and redid the bandaging on Koameda’s legs, setting him up with a splinter. He swallowed bitter medicine, and suddenly felt the pain that had rocked him earlier disappear, no his mind was racing, he had been given something to kickstart him.

Pekoyama withdrew her sword and left. Turning a blind eye to him.  
  
The next morning, Kumagawa awoke to Hinata shaking him again. “Komaeda… he disappeared again… “

Kumagawa simply smiled, and did the worst thing he could do in that situation. He made a promise. 『Don’t worry, I’ll bring him back this time for sure. I promise, this time I’ll win.』 By saying such a thing, he was almost guaranteeing his lost, but Kumagwa Misogi would try regardless.  
  
As they split up to search for him, Kumagawa went to a certain location on a hunch. He threw open the doors of Nezumi castle, and saw a pure white boy clutching onto a blood stained spear.  
  
Kumagawa greeted him with a smile. Except for the whites of his teeth, he seemed to be colored in a shade darker than black. 『That’s no good Nagito-chan. It’s time to go back. I guess I’ll have to break both your legs and drag you back!』

 


	47. Survival Strategy (7 - Screw x Stepping Stone x Pebble x Revolver)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kumagawa's monologue is a Baccano reference to compare his relationship with Junko to Elmer and Huey's.  
> Elmer C Albatross is a huge inspiration for how I write his character when he's outside of a Medaka Box setting.  
> Kumagawa's speech to Komaeda is a reference to Nekomonogatari White, based off of Araragi's speech to Hanekawa.

『 _Hmmm let’s see when I first met Junko. She was always acting bright and cheery, but at times it seems as though she was bored with everything in the world, and she seemed to watch it all from afar._ 』

『 _At first, she was hard on me too, but as we talked she gradually started to smile for me._ 』  
『 _Junko’s the worst, but she’s also not so bad. Most people steer clear of her. The only people who ever try to talk to her is me, and her sister, and all those subordinates she has. But I can tell she’s not so bad. Even now she’s my best friend. Well, my only friend._ 』  
『 _As a rule all her smiles are fake, but sometimes she smiles for real._ 』  
『 _At those times -only those times- does she say what she actually feels._ 』

『 _I want to destroy the world, you, me,  Matsuda-kun, and Mukuro too, until there’s nothing at all left._ 』

『 _The first time I heard Junko express herself with honesty, that was what she said. Sheesh, it’s not like anything painful happened in her past to lead her to thinking that way, but it is what it is I guess._ 』

『 _But anyway, at the time I told her that I’d have a problem with that. Not because the world would end, or everybody else would die, who cares what happens to a bunch of minor characters._ 』

『 _I told her that if that dream of hers came true, then I’d never get to see her sincere happiness once it finally did. We’re naturally at odds you see, because I’m the kind of guy who wants to keep living even past the end of the world._ 』

『 _Her happy ending is the one I want to see the most. Although, I mean it’s pretty selfish and rude to say I want to see somebody’s ending regardless of whether it is happy or sad._ _That's like saying I'm just a fake who can only borrow the happiness of others._ 』

『 _If I asked her that same question now, would her smile be real or fake? I wonder. I really do. Well, that doesn’t matter too much because she still hasn’t fixed her habit of seeing people as objects and not human.That’s just how she lives, I think._ 』

『 _Why was I talking about that? I just wanted to make myself look better in comparison._ 』  
『 _Because this is how I live… it’s quite selfish and rude, my habit of insisting that I stick around to witness the end of things._ 』

『Are you kidding? Are you kidding? Are you kidding? Oh, are you kidding?』  
  
“What are you saying suddenly?”

『It’s a call back to our first fight. Don’t you remember, I wrote are you kidding (Nandeya?) on the floor in my own blood. This seems like one of those climactic moments that needs to be bookended.』  
  
“You know if you point out that a moment is supposed to be dramatic that kind of ruins the drama of the moment. You shouldn’t confuse meta self awareness for genuinely clever and compelling dialogue.”

『You hypocrite! You total hypocrite! You’re always going on about how you want to see the moment when hope shines the brightest!』

“But, I don’t think anything that comes out of my mouth could be viewed as compelling. I’m one of those characters that the audience groans every time they start talking, one of those trashy comic relief characters that makes you go ‘why did the author even include them’ like Hanamura-kun.”

『What a terrible way to look down on one of your own classmates!』

“Oh, you’re confused Kumagawa-kun. By coincidence we happened to be placed in the same class, but Hanamura-kun will never be one of my classmates.”

『Where has this sudden and unexpected grudge against Hanamura-kun come from? This feels unfair, his character hasn’t even made an appearance in this work except offscreen mention, he’s not even around to defend himself.』  
  
“That’s not what I mean. Everybody else there earned a place in that class, except for me who was given a ticket by a lottery draw, it was random just a coincidence. People are born the way they are, and stay that way forever, I could never become someone who deserves to be among them, I could never be their classmate. Even if things had gone to plan and I had simply been a normal student of Hope’s Peak for three years and graduated, I would have never made friends with any of them, I would have never made any lifelong memories, I would never have learned something from a fight with one of them, nobody would keep contact with me after graduation, because… I was never their classmate to begin with. Even if I go back after this, I still won’t be a classmate.”

『Awe man, we were having a fun banter sequence and you had to ruin it by suddenly being all serious. Is this the kind of work we’re in now, something that swerves between screwball comedy and serious drama at breakneck pace?』  
  
“Stop screwing around, Kumagawa-kun. I’m not in the mood.”

『Fine then, I’ll just break your neck. Sorry, Nagito-chan. My position necessitates that I fight you.』

“What position is that?”

『We’re foils! The same but different. We’ve been compared since the beginning, and now as your destined rival we’re finally going to have our showdown, between the active destroyer and the one who invites passive destruction.』

“Comparing yourself to someone as worthless as me…you must be extremely unlucky, Kumagawa-kun.”

『But you’re just as unlucky, right? I mean the fact that you’re even involved in something like this...』     
  
“Am I? Actually I think I’m very lucky.”

『Eh…?』  
  
“Wouldn’t you say that coming across this much despair is a rather rare opportunity? I mean, when are two losers like us ever going to have a fight that actually matters? It’s only because this terrible situation has stripped everybody else of agency, even the great Kurokami Medaka-chan that we can grasp at importance.”

『After all this time… you still think that way?』  
  
“No matter what situation I find myself in, my core way of thinking will never change. In order to create absolute hope that shines brightly, stepladders such as myself and despair exist.”  
  
『So that time we spent together meant nothing?』  
  
“Everything you do means nothing, you say as much all the time Kumagawa-kun. I may be a faulty and broken Istepladder, but there’s no way I’d lose to you, you’re even lower than a stepping stone, you’re a pebble on the side of the road.”

『I have to win this time, because if I lose you’ll die… I’ll make you acknowledge me as a rival, you’ll scream my name out just like in a shonen manga.』  
  
“Umm… yeah… that’s kind of embarrassing, there’s no way I’m doing that. Even I can read the mood sometimes…”

Rats skittered across the floor of Nezumi castle. However, Kumagawa had slept on the streets several times in his life, so he had no fear of rats whatsoever. At the moment there were two human sized rats circling around each other.  
  
Komaeda had come all the way to Nezumi castle to retrieve the fishing spear that had been used as a part of his trap. The boy who had been barely able to walk on his own hours ago, was now standing fully clothed again, his signature green jacket trailing behind him as he walked.  
  
Komaeda hesitated a moment and walked over to the scratched up floor in the center of the church. Those scratches were spiral marks, like somebody had taken a drill, or perhaps a fast spinning screw to stone floor. He brushed his hands over the marks on the ground. “Were you the one who scratched out those numbers, Kumagawa-kun. That’s no good, you’re dim witted and have a terrible memory you might forget them.”

『 It’s fine, it’s fine. Those numbers were a special message to me from Makoto-chan after all, so it should be fine if I’m the only one who knows them.』

“Naegi-kun?” Komaeda stood up once more suddenly, so quickly he winced in pain for a moment. Even though he was fully clothed and walking around again, his pant legs had been completely bandaged over, and his eyes were slightly blood shot. Kumagawa himself too had his entire torso bandaged. This was shaping up to be a fight between two boys who were falling apart at the seams already.

『Just kidding. It wasn’t Makoto-chan, but it’s so funny whenever I bring up his name nowadays everybody makes that same face. What amazing thing did Makoto-chan do to get you all  so worked up about him? The real person who left me that message was Yasuke-chan.』  
  
“Why are you chatting with Matsuda-kun behind our backs? Is it true that you’re the traitor after all.”

『 You shouldn’t ask questions you already know the answer to, Nagito-chan. It makes you look like a smart ass. Who cares about answering questions like that, why don’t you just return to Hajime-chan’s side and let him nurse you back to health?』  
  
“That’s unnecessary, can’t you see I’m standing on my own?”

『Yeah, I was going to ask how you’re doing that. You’re a weak stepping stone that will crumble if anybody steps on you after all, how can you stand up right now?』  
  
“This is just in imitation of the Ultimate Pharmacist’s abilities, in the past she was able to create things like strength enhances and super healing medication. But, she came into contact with me and as a result of my bad luck was expelled.”

『How exactly did your bad luck get her expelled?』

“I planted a bomb and blew up the place where they were holding exams.”

『I think we need to seriously talk about what you blame on luck!』  
  
“We’ve been talking too much already, but ah… I don’t want to fight here.”

『Oh, is this like in dragon ball where they change the locations of the fight because they don’t want anyone innocent to be caught in it?』  
  
“Oh, no, if others were to be hurt in our fight I’m sure it would eventually lead to greater hope, that’s fine, that’s fine, I just don’t like rats. They’re creepy and make awful noises.”

『Awe, they’re cute.』    
  
“Of course you would think so, Kumagawa-kun. You have such a misplaced sense of self love.”

So, the two of them left Nezumi castle. Of course the rats had been an excuse, and Komaeda was leading Kumagawa to a battlefield he had prepared beforehand in the hours of the night since he ran away. He had known, of all people Kumagawa would somehow find him. Even if in his heart, he wanted it to be Hinata-kun who understand him well enough that he would anticipate where he had run off too, he knew the only person on this island who understood him enough to do that was Kumagawa. He felt a bit of disappointment, when it was Kumagawa and Hinata who came through those doors. Disappointment was neither hope nor despair though.

It was just bitter. He felt bitter towards Kumagawa for trying to save him, and bitter self resentment for biting the hand that tried to save him so much. But… perhaps he was taking it for granted because he knew, no matter how much he was bitten Kumagawa would continue to reach out. He must have had no true wish to be saved. He was not some innocent victim that needed saving, in general, he was just a bitter resentful person. He could not let such a person be saved, no heart warming story would come about from that kind of redemption, he would fight the ending of that story with all he had.  
  
As they crossed the bridge to the fifth island, the island yet unexplored except by Komaeda of course who took the most active role in trying to solve the mystery, the sun started to rise. Kumagawa glanced up, watching the horizon line be painted all sorts of colors. Komaeda watched at the same time, but rather than the sun he looked at Kumagawa, it’s opposite. There was not a trace of color within Kumagawa, he seemed to reject color. A stretch of night sky so dark, that not even the stars showed light in it. Even the sun itself reflecting upon him, only seemed to make him look like more of a shadow by contrast. No light or color would ever reach him.  
  
As Komaeda was staring, Kumagawa suddenly spoke up his eyes still away from the other boy. Komaeda had no idea at all, how Kumagawa could stand to look at the sun. He should have been burned by it, like a vampire. He should have been somebody who gave up looking towards the light long ago, because he would never reach it. 『Did you know…it’s been fifty two days since we’ve been on this island. The sun has risen and set fifty two times.  Ra’s sun bark sails across the sky through a river that loops through the sky and underworld. When he sails into the night, he dies. Then, when the sun rises he revives, or rather he’s reborn. Do you think he gets tired of his journey? He must be so worn out… but he’s got to keep going, soon the sun is going to fall on the 52nd night, he’ll die again… but it’s fine, because he’ll be reborn on the 53rd morning. It’s almost time for the 53rd...』  
  
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Kumagawa-kun. If that’s true then we still have one whole day left. I know you’re lazy, selfish, and stupid but try not to waste it.”

『 Of course, I’m not that stupid you know. I just made a myth to ancient mythology.』  
  
“Did you read about it in a manga?”

『...』 Kumagawa looked away, because Komaeda was being such a meanie even before they started trying to kill each other.  
  
“Don’t call me a meanie in the narration, that’s just passive aggressive. You’re the active one and I’m the passive one, just be regular aggressive.”

『 Oh, so you’re finally going along with it. You’re participating, good job!』  
  
“I’m only passively participating. I might as well a little bit before the end… because it’ll be over soon…” Komaeda said as he finally looked up and realized they were at their destination. The fifth island extended around them looking like the waste land’s of someone’s imagined cyberpunk fantasy. He thought rather rudely for a moment that somebody was trying far too hard to hint that the reveal of this death game would have an artificial intelligence or advanced robotics related twist.  
  
The entire island was like one big factory, with stretches of junkyards and wastelands in between it. New machinery, and more importantly new monokuma bears were being pumped out continuously and automatically. Not only were new factories working, but new buildings were being built as well, or at least they seemed to be at one point. There were stretches of construction that had been abandoned in between the factories, cranes still there holding iron bars.  
  
Kumagawa realized why Komaeda had been so particular about fighting here. 『 _He’s book ending this fight after all._ 』 He thought with the enthusiasm of a great fan of reading. If Junko had the enthusiasm of a particularly good storyteller, Kumagawa was he loyal and thoughtful reader.

As they made it to the middle, Komaeda turned around suddenly.

『I’m surprised you acknowledge me. Wouldn’t you rather want your final battle to be against Enoshima-san, or Medaka-chan instead of a nobody like me?』

“Hanten-kun, Hansode-san, Kuzuryuu-kun, Nanami-san, Tsumiki-san, Tanaka-kun, Naze-san, Hitoyoshi-kun, none of them were push overs. To survive when all of them died, you must be quite strong. Occasionally, talented people are oppressed by the untalented who band together, that’s your strength. A nobody like you worms your way into other’s hearts so easily. You see, I… I despise you. Were I able, I would erase all untalented people like you from the world entirely.”

『 Is that your dream? The world you dream of?』  
  
“Yes, I think so.”

『I’d have a problem with that, because if that dream came true I’d never get to witness your sincere happiness once it finally did.』

“That’s too bad, because I can’t help wanting for such a thing.”

『Is that how you really feel?』  
  
“Yeah. I’ve never felt so strongly about anything. So, either you, or I have to go Kumagawa-kun. I cannot live with or without you.”

『And how does somebody like you plan to get rid of me?』  
  
“I may have a boring talent, but even I will always have my luck. That’s why I can never change…even with a boring talent, I can’t see myself losing to the guy whose thing is that he always loses.”

『 Yeah, you’re right. You’re much more extraordinary than I am. I’m just a regular guy with an unlucky streak.』 Kumagawa picked up a particularly round rock off the ground and threw it it at one of the steal beams. Around them, was the skeleton framework for a building that was never finished arranged in a long and tall rectangle. It bounced off the iron beams at random, and then nailed him right in the head. A streak of blood fell from his forehead covering one of his eyes. He looked like he was winking with a smile.『But, even so I’ll fight you.』  
  
“That’s just your hope deluding you.”

『 Hope? What a peculiar word.』

“You’ll lose for sure, this fight is pointless and we won’t gain anything from it but… Kumagawa-kun I’m curious what exactly your hope looks like.”

『 Whoa! I asked you that question at the end of the second trial, we really are book ending this! I’m so happy you’re finally looking at me, senpai!』 Kumagawa rushed forward dragging a screw across the ground she went. It made a particularly ugly noise of metal scraping against metal that made Komaeda flinch. He ran low across the ground and then suddenly twisted his entire body up to swing the screw at Komaeda. Komaeda wondered for a moment if Kumagawa even had a spine, he always seemed to twist his body at such horrible angles.『 Well, this is so, so hard. What’s so hard about it? When I think about how this is the last time I’ll see the great Ultimate Luckster Komaeda Nagito-chan’s smiling face, somehow it’s just so sad』

Komaeda kicked his foot against the ground hard to dodge to the side. The screw flew past him, and Kumagawa seemed more concerned with swinging it around wildly than hitting an actual target. He kicked up concrete and dust as he did. In the air, Komaeda turned his leg around. He was not nearly as strong as Zenkichi, nor was he the kind of person who could work hard to be strong, but he had watched Kumagawa and Zenkichi fight so many times and knew that Kuamgawa was weak to kicks from afar. He kicked Kumagawa exactly like Zenkichi would have, based on observation alone, kicking the screw out of his hand.  
  
He spun around trying to get a full rotation, or perhaps he had tried too hard to deliver a cool kick and could not contorl himself anymore. Either way, Kumagawa’s undamaged hand suddenly reached forward and grabbed for his leg. 『 You’e got such beautiful legs, Nagito-chan. Just like a girl’s.』  
  
“Why are you saying something like that now?” Komaeda asked as he was thrown around. It was a good thing the two of them were used to babbling so mcuh, that they could even talk right now in the middle of a fight. There was never a bad time for banter, at least Kumagawa thought so.

『 I’m making it clear that we’re opposites. You have good luck, I have bad luck.Your hair is pure white, mine is pure black. You were born with everything, I was born with nothing. You only like guys, I only like girls.』

“You should stop comparing yourself to me. Even I’ll feel bad, if you keep insulting yourself like that, and I don’t know what pitying you would be like but it seems unpleasant.”

『 I’m sure you want to see it too. Which one is stronger, good or bad luck?』  
  
Komaeda as he was being swung around, threw his body to the side and slammed his foot against one of the iron bars that would form the support of the building’s skeletal frame if that building was ever finished. He wrenched his foot away from Kumagawa trying to escape.

His foot went free, but Kumagawa reached forward and grasped onto the bandages that were wrapped in excess around his pant leg. 『The late Mikan-chan would have wrapped this much nicer… my tribute to her!』 He said as he twisted his hand back and pulled apart the bandages, dragging Komaeda with him. Komaeda was thrown and skittered across the concrete.  
  
Herolled away quickly when Kumagawa brought his foot high into the air and slammed it down. The concrete shook slightly from the impact. Speed, reflexes, Kumagawa was undeniably strong but it was all raw power. He had never once been able to cultivate it into any kind of talent, even his fighting style relied on surprise and trickery, his own erratic behavior alarming his opponents. It would be easy for somebody like Sakura, or even Akune with any kind of formalized combat training to see through and keep a alm head at times like this.

Kumagawa suddenly jumped up and flew through the air trying to stomp down on him with both feet. He was just like a child, smiling and having the time of his life.『 Whoosh!』  
  
Komaeda rolled out of the way again, and this time he reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out a baseball, throwing it at Kumagawa’s head. He tilted his head ot the side and it flew right past his ear. 『 Whoa! I was able to dodge it even in midair! I must have finally caught a lucky break.』

Komaeda finally stood up once more. When Kumagawa made another clumsy strike forward with his fist he gabbed the hand and redirected it around, slamming him straight into the steal beam.  
  
Kumagawa fell back like this was a moment of slapstick comedy. 『Owie! Owie! Owie!』 He rolled across the ground, clutching at his face. As he made such a scene, the baseball ricochet in the background between them, every time it hint a joint in the steel skeleton of a tower, the bolts connecting that joint were loosened.. As Kumagawa finished rolling aroundon the ground, he stood up once more. 『 You’re way too strong, this is unfair. I’ll have to take some medicine too.』  He brought up his hands to his mouth and covered his mouth with both hands, swallowing something. 『 Haha, do you get it. It’s speak no evil.』  
  
“You do smell like a monkey.”

『Now you’re just being immature. I was trying to do some deep and serious symbolism.』  
  
“Kumonkey.”

『 Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! This is seriously bullying! All because I’m going to break your bones and dag you back and cruelly force you to live! You retaliation is unfair!』 Kumagawa said as he picked a screw up again off the ground.  
  
Komaeda jumped into the air to prepare another kick.

『 You’re fighting too much like Zenkichi-chan, there’s no way you’ll be able to dodge midair, I’ll get you when you land, screwing you real good from behind… with friendship and courage and stuff...』  
  
Kumagawa said rushing to the place that he predicted Komaeda would land. However, nothing fell down. He looked up in the air, to see that Koameda had removed his jacket, and had tied it around one of the horizontal beams in the air to hold himself up. He let the green jacket go, and it fluttered away in the wind. It was a dramatic shot you know, him letting go of something so iconic to his character in order to win. I needed to spend these three sentences focusing on the change of the wind, which rustled his jacket, and blew waves through the fabric and carried it away as if it weighed nothing. “It’s my win, Kumagawa-kun.” Komaeda said as he fell on top of Kumagawa.  
  
The weight of him falling would be enough, the entire time they had been fighting they had been shaking the creaking skeleton frame of the tower more and more, as the ball bounced around them. The moment he landed that would be enough to bring the entire tower crashing down on both of them. Komaeda would succeed in his plan and be crushed by the fallling sky and die.  
  
That is… if he ever reached the ground. The moment he kicked hard and Kumagawa fell back and hit the ground he stopped right there. As if he was flying. He had not suddenly unlcoked some kind of superpower however. Instead, a screw had stuck out from Kumagawa’s stomach and pierced straight through him.  
  
Earlier.  
Kumagawa swallowed a screw and hid it within his own body. He even made such an exaggerated motion of doing so and drew attention to it, but nobody but him woudl think of a plan as stupid as hiding a screw within your own body and then making it grow out of your stomach.  
  
Bookmaker.  
The screw which reduced everyone to Kumagawa’s level. The baseball which had been ouning around hitting the joints of the tower by pure chance, hit at the worst angle possible and bounced uselessly to the ground, landing next to Komaeda and rolling away.  
  
『 I was lying earlier, here’s the truth Nagito-chan...』 Kumagawa grabbed the screw that was coming out of his stomach and broke it in half. Komaeda fell uselessly to the side. The spear which he had been planning on using in this fight, lie untouched on the side of the gound. As well as several unopened cannisters of extinguisher grenades one of them filled with a bottle of poison, and the long weighted rope which connected to the spear coiling around both of them.  
  
He had had an elaborate plan set up for facing Kumagawa, but… why did he suddenly throw that all away and settle things with a simple fist fight? Was… Junko correct, and Kumagawa’s existence itself just something that caused unexpected things to happen.

Komaeda crawled across the ground, and reached for something to defend himself. The fight was already over, he had been stripped of his luck by bookmaker, but he still reached out for a screw.  
  
At the same time, Kumagawa walked over and picked up the spear. Even with a screw emerging and tearing a hole through his stomach he had stood up on his own. Kumagawa leveled the spear’s tip at Komaeda’s throat, and Komaeda pointed the spear at Kumagawa even though he was lying on the ground. 『The truth is, there’s no difference between good and bad luck. There was never any good or bad luck, there’s no such thing. A series of improbable events just so happened to happen to you, and you perceived them as good or bad. But… the person deciding whether they were good or bad luck all along was you. The person who caused what you call good or bad luck, it was always just you.』  
  
“N…no. It’s not my fault.”

『But now, I’ve stripped you of your good luck. You don’t have your good or bad luck anymore. That means, for you there’s nothing to believe in anymore. All you ever believed in was your luck. Well… to be honest, there was nothing to believe in to begin with was there?』  
  
As a result of book maker, Komaeda’s eyes had turned red, and his fluffy hair had fallen over his face obscuring his eyes.

『 There’s nothing to believe in. There’s nothing in this world to believe in. There’s just you. Yourself. The reason you wouldn’t change, it’s not because of luck it’s because of you, you’re all you have. 』  
  
“Just me, huh?”

『I get why you’d want to blame someone else. It’s better to passively cause harm then actively cause harm, right? But… either way, it’s still you. Even with your luck gone, you still would be you.  You’re going to live the rest of your life with that personality! You can’t change! You were born with and grew up to have that personality, so it can’t be helped! All you can do is stop complaining and work hard to get on with it!』  
  
“What are you saying, Kumagawa-kun? Isn’t that way too harsh. Don’t be unreasonable.”

『That’s what you believed from the start isn’t it? That people are either born with or without talent. Your beliefs never change. I’m not being unreasonable, I’m working with your pre-established framework, your reasoning. 』

  
“But still, even my beliefs aren’t absolute. I’m human too.”

『You aren’t human. You don’t want to be human. Don’t claim to be a human now.』  
  
“You’re always so cruel, Kumagawa-kun. You should no better than anyone else why I ended up like this. You tell me to do my best, even when the reason I’m so ugly is because others beat me so much I lost my shape. That’s mean I thought since we’re the same, since we were both created by circumstance, you of all people would sympathize with me..”

『 I won’t. Your parents were killed by a plane crash. Your beloved childhood pet was hit by a truck. You were left alone and not even handed off to anybody else, because nobody wanted a creepy child who smiled at his parent’s death. Everybody thought since you had a great fortune as an inheritance you would be fine. You looked down on others and weren’t able to bond with people in middle school. You grew up in a cold and lonely household, but still tried to be strong and normal for the sake of others, but you trying to smile in the face of adversity just made others label you as creepy and avoid you.  You’ll never fulfill that, you have bad luck! Such misfortune! But who cares about that? You don’t have to feel pain just because you’re unfortunate. You don’t have to sulk just because you’re not lucky. Even if something bad happens, you can be cheerful. When all this is over, you’ll just go back to your class like nothing happened, you’ll spend your days with your classmates as an outsider among them like nothing has changed. You guys won’t have bonded from the shared trauma of surviving this island together, because there’s no such thing as bonding from shared trauma. I guarantee, you won’t be able to reconcile with your classmates for the rest of your life. They’ll never forgive you for what you did.  Even if you’re happy in the future it’s no good. Regardless of how happy you become, the failed past will never disappear. The ends will never justify the means like you think they do, hope can’t wash away all the scars despair left on you. You’ll remember once you forget. And dream about it for the rest of your life! We are forever going to be trapped in this fake nightmare world. Nothing will change in reality!』  
  
“Won’t change…”  
  
『I definitely won’t sympathize with you. Don’t use bad luck as a reason or an excuse, don’t grow making misfortune your stepping stone. Even if you do, you’ll just end up being cursed yourself as much as you curse others.』

“You…even if you become a star… a lone star in a night sky that’s just an endless stretch of black, you can’t be a hero can you?”

『Yep. That’s it. I can understand you, but I can’t save you. Nobody’s ever going to save you. It’s never going to get better… but even, so.』

“Even so…” _Die. Die. Die. Die. Die._   _Die. Die. Die. Die. Die._ _Die. Die. Die. Die. Die._ _Die. Die. Die. Die. Die._ _Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. He’s just trying to rile you up._   _Die. Die. Die. Die. Die._ _Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Don’t listen to him, all of it was a lie as usual._   _Die. Die. Die. Die. Die._ _Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. KIll him and you can end this. Don’t have a last minute realization like he wants. Don’t respond in a positive way to that speech like he wants. Don’t reach out your hand to him like he wants. Die. Die. I should just... I should just..._ _  
__  
_ He repeated the word die fifty two times in ihs own head. That was how bad his killing intent was at that moment. Those crude words Kumagawa used to lecture him, his obvious attempts to break Komaeda even further from his mindset. The cage he had built around his own heart to protect himself, the same cage that he had trapped and isolated himself in. A cage made of jagged and twisted bird wire, one that you could not even reach your fingers between the bars without cutting yourself.  
  
Yet, after repeating the word die fifty two times he was not able to repeat it a fifty third time. He could not bring it, the more you suppressed something, the stronger it would overlfow eventually, pour through all of the cracks. He was already a skeleton? He was already a shinigami? What kind of flowery prose nonsense was that? He had gone way overboard on the metaphors, who cares if his body was barely clinging to life, who cares if death was inevitable. Who cares if he had known death so closely it was like an old friend.

The reason he was barely clinging to life… wasn’t that because he still wanted to cling to life? All this time, he was secretly wishing to keep living. He had tried to cozy up to death, he had tried to accept it, he had tried to suppress himself, but as Kumagawa said he was quite greedy. He would never be satisfied, it would never be enough. Even being loved would not make him okay with his death. Even becoming hope for everyone would not make him okay with his death.  
  
Even if he was a living skeleton. He was still alive. If he was a walking zombie, held together through sheer will power, than that only showed how stubborn he was. He stubbornly persisted in living even far past his expiration date, even far past his own death.  
  
Things would not get better. He would not be forgiven. He would still be in pain. He would be punished for the rest of his days without redemption. The world would not grow kinder. Things would never start to make sense for him. He would not find a meaning to all his suffering. He would not learn something from all of this.  
  
Even so… as Kumagawa had trailed off and he echoed.  
  
“Even so… I started wanting to live.” Komaeda’s fingers loosened on the screw, and he dropped it on the ground allowing it to roll away.

Kumagawa dropped the spear to the side.『Nagito-chan, do you remember what I said. When you said you wished to live, I would be there, and I would give you my hand?』  
  
“Yes…” Komaeda said. His lips started to twitch. He wondered if he would be able to smile at the end of this. He wanted to show Kumagawa, his genuine smile. He thought that would make the other boy happy at least, after he had shown Kumagawa all his most unpleasant faces. He slowly reached up his hand. “Are we book ending this scene, with that then?”

“Nope. That was actually a build up for a subversion.” Suddenly, Kumagawa dropped his informal way of speaking. He reached past Komaeda’s hand, and with his one good hand clenched hard around Komaeda’s throat. “I never finished that sentence, what I meant to say was, when you finally start wishing to live I’ll give you my hand and wrap it around your throat.”  
  
“Wha…?” Komaeda felt the noose tightening around his neck. When he finally thought he was free of it, when he finally thought he had stepped off the chair of his own free will.  
  
“Nagito-chan. I’ve been thinking this entire time. How to break you. See, broken things are harder to break than you think, because they’re so used to being broken. They become content in their misery, they get neither worse nor better. The cracks are filled out and harden. So… how do you break something that’s already broken? I’m sure even Junko would have a tough time with that… but all this time I’ve been thinking, what kind of face would you show me if the person who told you to live all this time… suddenly told you to die?”  
  
“...Y-you’re… going to kill me?”

“Nope. You’ll kill yourself, just like before. If I kill you, that’s just a random act of violence. There’s no tragedy to that. Tragedy isn’t sad things happening, it’s a format, it requires people falling to their flaws after struggling against him.”

Komaeda’s eyes bulged with the strain of being strangled. He saw red in the corner of his eyes. “I… I won’t… If I kill myself you won't witness my happiness... I want to see that too. So why are you...”

“Mistakenly, you started to want. That was your mistake of course.” Kumagawa let go of Komaeda right then, Komaeda coughed, and hacked his entire body shaking with the effort. Every breath was painful, but he put up with it. Every time he breathed that was one more second he was alive. “Hajime-chan is Izuru-chan.”  
  
“What.”

“Quit playing dumb. Are you going to ask me, why are you betraying me next? It just makes you look like a smartass when you already know the answer. It’s because you betrayed me first, Nagito-chan. You’re the traitor, with Izuru-chan locked me and Junko in this virtual world.”  
  
“...”  
  
“It was really funny, when you made everybody run around the islands trying to expose the traitor. I’m sure you pieced together it was you by that point… Izuru-chan and you constructed this cage, to keep Junko sealed within. By proximity I got dragged into it too.”  
  
“...”  
  
“Izuru-chan is the ultimate hope, the complention of the Kamukura project to give someone every single talent. He’s so clever he even trapped Junko in a cage of his own design, and managed to salvage his erased past self, Hajime-chan, an empty Reserve Course student that they used as a flask to fill with talent.”  
  
“If they’re the same person… why hasn’t he gone back? Does he not know?”  
  
“He knows. But… because you’re still alive, he won’t ever go back to being Izuru-chan for more than a few seconds. You’re the tether that’s keeping him here. It’s just like you said, the weak have the ability to connect to the strong and oppress them.”  
  
“I… I’m the reason…”

“I don’t actually hate you, Nagito-chan. Because you locked Junko and I in this virtual world, I was given a second chance with her. Neither of us died even when we drowned in that river. I got to spend more time with her, you gave me hope. However, because of that hope… I’ve been slowly poisoned, until I saw a hole in my mind, and my mind rotted away... “  
  
“What is hope to you?”  
  
“Hope is a slow poison. I thought I’d pay you back, the hope you gave me with hope in return. It’s because of your hope, that you’ve become so rotten Nagito-chan.”  
  
“...I...I…”  
  
“Do you still like Izuru-Hajime-Chan?”  
  
“I like him so much I can’t stand it, but this feeling isn’t love. It’s completely surpassed love. It’s more than “I want to be with him for the rest of my life.” Because I think I would die for Hinata-kun.”

  
At all of this Kumagawa Misogi smiled.  
  
“I’m glad. Now that you betrayed me, and I’ve betrayed you in return, we can finally become proper minus together!”

  
“You don’t care about hope for despair… who are you doing this for…”  
  
“Myself!” Kumagawa said with a smile. He walked over and curled his finger’s around Komaeda’s neck once more. “You see, this for me. To protect myself, I will do anything.”  
  
“K-killing is wrong! No matter what!”  
  
“You’re wrong, Nagito-chan.Didn’t I say it? This is for me. For the sake of myself, anything can be justified. So please… I need you to die, so I can get what I want Nagito-chan.”  
  
“...Will you…”    
  
“Yeah, I will…”  
  
Kumagawa looked at the sun which had already risen. It made their shadows extend much farther, the more they approached that absolute light. It was never meant to be reached in the first place.  
  
“It’s fine, Nagito-chan. It's like Ra dying, you have to die so the sun can rise. If you die, Izuru-chan will come out again.”  
  
“Can you?”  
  
“Yeah… I can…”  
  
“Will you be able to laugh when this is all over? Can you still laugh?”    
  
Komaeda Nagito stared, his face the very look of death, beaten and bloody, one eye half lidded and the other struggling to stay open. He took shallow, ragged breaths as he looked up at omaeda still standing over him, still holding him by the neck.  
  
He remembered the last time they were in a construction yard like this. The first time he met Kumagawa-kun and talked with him at length. Even after all that violence, Kumagawa still took his hand. He took his head and placed it upon his head, and smiled at him. He had loved that moment so dearly, it was so precious to him.  
  
“Don’t look at me like that. In the end we’re too different. Your memories are all that have supported you till now. Don’t be ashamed of that. The memories you hold are worthy ones. Only those who hold beautiful memories are allowed to wish, to wish for that time to go on, to wish to never change from what you were. But. I don’t have that. I don’t have a single beautiful memory.”

The difference between Kumagawa and Komaeda. Both of them wanted for happiness, but Kumagawa did not even know what happiness was. Komaeda had admitted as much to himself a long time ago.  
  
Kumagawa disappeared from view, and heard him walking behind him. His footsteps were especially loud. He could hear the footsteps of the reaper. Then suddenly, Kumagawa grabbed him by the back of his collar and began to drag him.  
  
He closed his eyes and accepted it, because he already knew where they were going. Kumagawa as he dragged Komaeda along, started to shake, and broke into rapturous laughter.  
_At the end of the world. You then will no longer be able to stop laughing, huh? That’s the end you wanted to witness._ Komaeda thought in response. He had no idea of telling this, because he was not good at reading people at all, but he got the impression that the laughter was forced, that Kumagawa was laughing so hard that soon his throat would be dry and bloody.  
  
Oh, and this goes without being said. Even when things exactly went his way, they didn’t go his way at all. Even though he had won the fight, he set his win conditions at Komaeda living another day. However, Komaeda would be dead by this night, and so for Kumagawa Misogi this was definitely a loss.

 ♛

 

Kumagawa dragged Komaeda in the sand. He had left his green jacket behind, so his shirt and black pants were getting covered in sand. As they walked along, komaeda’s face held an expression of unreadable despair. Or perahps it was only unreadable because Kumagawa was looking away from.  
  
In the distance, just as the sun rose he saw Enoshima Junko dressed in a red kimono. He had no idea why in the early morning she had chosen to wear such a strange and out of character outfit, but the reason would probably be important later.  Illuminated by the sun he saw her, Enoshima Junko, a single point of light in his world of darkness that snatched away anything.  
  
That girl was fire, blue fire that burned hotter than anything and burned anything it touched. Mukuro thought he was an empty space, a vacuum that suppressed her fire but he thought otherwise. He was the night sky, he was illuminated by her fire, warmed by it.  
  
Seeing her, all he could do was let go of Komaeda, put his hands in his pockets and sigh. He sighed two more times for drmatic effect.

『 _Jeez. I’m certain you all expect me to leap at Junko in a burst of joy. After such a depressing scene preceding this, we’ll finally have some comic relief as I act all affectionate and we banter because neither of us can read the room or the mood. You want more of that whiplash tone right?_ 』

『 _You all expect me to keep smiling, innocent as a newborn fawn, as if none of this is affecting me. No, I admit it. There was a time when I would have. There was. But I’m an adult now. I’ve no interest in the little girl who will never grow up, Enoshima Junko. She can stay in neverland forever for all I care._ 』  
  
『 _But, I suppose, given that I have no interest in her, I’ve no particular reason to ignore her.. If I ignore her, she may get impudent, and brazen idea that I’m deliberately ignoring her. In light of this, and only in light of this, mind you, it may mean that the smartest option would be to call out and greet her, to prove how bored I am of the Enoshima Junko who won’t grow up._ 』

『 _Okay then. With that conclusion reached it’s time to get started. I’m not hesitant in the least. I’ll keep on clowning around until the very end._ 』

『 _NOW..._ 』A terrible smile spread across his face as he saw Enoshima Junko had not noticed him yet. He was probably, imagining all kind of terrible things. To grab her, to rub his cheek against her, to kiss her gently on her eyelids, to show her as much love as he could in the short time they had left, all kinds of awful inhumane things. He was going to embrace her.  
  
『JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO』  
  
Kumagawa ran towards her at full speed through the sand, abandoning all logic and reason. He made a mad dash towards her, his sun. No, more important than his sun, if he had to choose between her and the sun he would easily become nocturnal. He reached out with his hand, and just before reaching her suddenly a hand emerged from her shadow and grabbed him by the ankle, causing him to face plant into the sand a step short of her.  
  
Enoshima Junko turned around, tilting her head to one side. “Huh? What was that? It sounded like some dog just howled out my name with 52 U’s, and 52 O’s. Oh, it’s Misogi.”

Kumagawa stood up suddenly, just in time to see a hand retreating back into Enoshima Junko’s shadow.  『Ajimu, was that you? Damn! Damn you, damn you, damn you! Who do you think you are? You screw everything up! You screwed up the biggest romantic reunion of my life!  You’re not even human, you red eyed brunette! Medaka-chan should have left you to die! No, you should have died before that in that classroom three years ago! I regret lifting a finger to help you! No, I regret not finishing you off when I had the chance!』Kumagawa stomped hard on the shadow, but it was just a shadow so all it managed was kicking up sand. He looked as pathetic as a little girl stomping on a sand castle. I have no idea why I came up with that example just now, it just came to me in the moment.  
  
“Wait, she’s in my shadow?”  
  
“ _Yes, it’s just like peter pan. I’m hiding in your shadow, and you don’t want to grow up. That’s symbolically consistent, right?”_ _  
_

『No, obviously Junko is the pirate lacking one hand and one eye that’s eventually going to be killed by the crocodile when she hears the ticking of a clock.』  
  
“ _Don’t introduce that kind of prophecy this late in the game, Kumagawa-kun! We’re moving towards the climax! We don’t have time for that kind of thing, we’re already building towards one climax we can’t do another one.”_

『You can have multiple climaxes in a row if you’re really good at it.』  
  
“ _Don’t make that kind of dirty joke in front of me! I’m just a cute sweet young girl you know!”_

Enoshima Junko tilted her head even further to the side than she had before. She was tilting her head so far, that shaft was guaranteed to animate the next adaptation of Dangan Ronpa. “So… liiiike, you can hear her too?”  
  
『Junko, you’re not good at ad libbing when things don’t match your pre planned scenario are you? Well, you’re not as bad at it as Ajimu-san I guess...Of course I can hear her, no matter where Ajimu-san hides as long as she’s not truly dead then I’ll always find her, because she’s the one who understands me the most, and I’m the one who understands her the most.』Kumagawa said, dropping the mood of the scene again as he stared at Junko’s shadow with a forlorn expression on his face.  
  
Komaeda was face down in the sand at this moment, because Kumagawa had just left him there to go run off and play with Junko.  
  
“Anyway? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this?” Junko said, her head tilting back and forth like one of those toy birds that dip in water. She was really bad at handling unexpected scenarios it seemed. “You left to go play with Not-Kamukura-senpai, and Komaeda-senpai! Why are you suddenly back here?”  
  
『Ah, well that was a lie. I thought I’d gain their trust and save Komaeda, only to be the same one to doom him later. You see, you also turned Komaeda to despair but you didn’t really break him… He was just already like that. He joined your side of his own free will, right? That’s why I thought, if I could go one step further beyond you, if I could break him, wouldn’t that be like surpassing you?』A smile spread across Kumagawa’s face. Usually he only ever smiled like the devil, but this time he smiled like an angel, a serene and calm smile showing all of his teeth. He smiled exactly the same way Junko smiled.  
  
_“Hey, hey, hey, have you realized it yet?”_

“...”  
  
_“It’s just like Ikusaba-san said before. You can’t help yourself, you warp everybody around you in your own image. Really, what a lame god complex you have.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“_ ...”

_“He’s becoming more like you, and you don’t like it. Even though this is the unexpected, betrayal filled ending you desired.”_

“Did you plan this all along?”

『Of course not, I’ve never planned anything in my life. So, listen up, Junko.』  
  
“Oh, an apology? An apology? Are you going to apologize for leaving me? I’m looking forward to this. How is this man going to apologize? About how he shoved me, his only partner in despair aside, and played with all the other boys instead.”

『Huh? Were you actually bothered by that? I’m sorry, but listen! We’ve got to put your plan together fast, before it becomes the 53rd day. We don’t have time for banter this time around.』  
  
“I refuse, you prince of fools. You chitchat with all sorts of girls on a regular basis. You even took time to chit chat with a girl hidden in my shadow, ut not me. Now, suddenly you want to dispense with the small talk when you want it? Since when has this about what you want? This world doesn’t exist for your convenience you know…it exists for mine.”

『Junko, what are you...Let’s be serious for once we need to..』  
  
“Why are you forcing yourself into doing this? You’re not even smiling right now?”

Kumagawa hesitated. He put a hand over his mouth and touched his lips, and realized there was an incredibly unpleasant scowl drawn across his face. The expression was so distinct he was sure if this was a manga it would be a two page spread of just his face.『I… you, I’m becoming despair for your sake. You only love despair, right? So why are you complaining so much. Gosh, you’re so fussy and hard to please… or do you like bantering this much? 』

At that moment, Enoshima Junko suddenly swept her bare feet under Kumagawa Misogi and kicked him over. It was a rare moment where she was not wearing heels, as she had taken them off to wear the red kimono. In life, it’s natural to step on others in order to continue living. As he felt Junko’s bare foot on his chest, Kumagawa closed his eyes. This was inevitable, he thought, a girl was eventually going to put her foot on him, there was nothing perverted going through his mind at the moment at all just calm resignation.  
  
“Why are you acting like this? Why aren’t you smiling?”

『Because.I’m not happy anymore. My happiness is dead.』  
  
“Yeah, that’s right.”

『You were my happiness, but in the real world you’ll be dead.』  
  
“I killed that bitch, by which I mean me, real good. But I’m not dead. You get it, don’t you? Who was it that said she’d kill you?”

『N-nobody did. Nobody can kill me.』  
  
“Wrong! It was me. I said it. No one else. I am the one whose going to kill you. What do I look like to you?”  


『Despair? I guess...』  
  
“Oi, what am I?”

『You can tell she’s mad because she said Oi. Uh… Ultimate despair.』  
  
“Are you freaking blind?”

『Junko… there’s no way I can see you… because you’re so bright, bright enough to blind you know, and I’m just unclean… I’m shadow… I’m...』  
  
“Enough with that crap! Enough pretty metaphors! You’re dragging it on too long. Who the hell do you think you’re talking to? I’m just another seiral killer! I’ve killed tons of people, not for any good reason, it was because I was bored and I thought I’d enjoy it. Then I didn’t even bother to enjoy it, so it was all pointless. Unlike you and Komaeda-senpai, I don’t waste time running and thinking about pointless shit! I don’t care about parents and fate. I don’t care about good or bad luck or trauma. Don’t even joke with me about doing what I do because of crap like that. I do it because I want to, I do whatever I want to do. I’m me, and you’re you! Am I wrong!? So don’t come in front of me with some half assed expression and act like you have no choice but to do something terrible, and hide your miserable face from me.”

『I’m… Me?』  
  
“Yes, you’ll never stop being Misogi! No matter what you do! You’re the most terrible human being ever, and you’re the one I want to kill the most! Nobody will ever mourn your death, the world will be better off without you… You’re the only Misogi. You’re the only one for me.”

『..』

  
“Well, Misogi? Who do you see in front of you right now?”

There was no light. There was never any light to begin with. Junko, or not, the world was not beautiful because she existed. Even if she existed the world was still covered in shadows. The real world. Not this fake one, that was just a cage to hold the two of them in.『Junko?』  
  
“For a guy whose crazy as I am, you’re way too serious. Let’s escape to the real world together, so that I can kill you because you’re death will bring me the greatest despair. Promise me that.”

“J-junko…” Kumagawa’s voice faltered. At that moment his determination almost broke. The sight of Junko ahead of him almost broke him. He almost started to wish to return to the real world after all. He wanted to give into her more than anything else in the world. Then, a smile crawled on his lips. 『I… I promise...』  
  
“I promise, too! Usually I don’t bother with promises, this is my first one I think…” Enoshima Junko however, turned around and spun girlisly on her heels. Kumagawa tried to get up on his own as usual, but he saw in front of him Enoshima Junko’s hand extending towards him. “No need to be so serious, let’s do whatever we want and step on whatever we need to to keep going, let’s live on with smiles on our faces until I decide to kill you.”

Kumagawa Misogi sighed, taking her hand. 『What kind of terrible moral is that, really?』  
  
Together, like partners in terrible crime Enoshima Junko and Kumagawa MIsogi lifted Komaeda Nagito up out of the sand, each slinging him around one shoulder as they carried him inside.

 

 ♛

 

_I apologize for this jarring and unlucky development, but it appears I have been kidnapped. This happened on the 52nd and what most likely was going to be the final day of the killing game. I readjusted my vision and stared up at a familiar white ceiling and recognized I was in Enoshima’s cabin. However, I have never seen Evangelion before, I prefer video games to anime so the fact that I made an eva joke in my opening narration for this scene was pure chance._

He rolled his head forward, and noticed the door open. A single ray of light came into the room and Enoshima Junko stepped through it. Standing behind her was Kumagawa MIsogi, his shirt off and a rose shoved into his mouth. Enoshima Junko was still wearing a red kimono for some unexplained reason, that’s going to get explained eventually right? Is it foreshadowing, or a reference to sometihng else? She put one hand in the air above her, and then jutted her elow out and curled her fingers as she pointed her other hand down posing like a ballerina. She was holding a rose in her extended hand and shoved it into Kumagawa’s mouth. The thorns pricked his lip, causing him to bleed, but he wiped it off when he took the rose out of his mouth looking confused in Junko’s wake.  
  
This wasn’t symbolic for anything, Enoshima Junko just liked to play around with pretty things like this. Kumagawa Misogi’s shirt was off, and his stomach was wrapped up in another bandage. The Kiono Enoshima Junko wore was tied off at the waist. She deliberately grabbed at her shoulders and pulled it down further to expose her bare shoulders and the collar she was wearing underneath. It was made of black strings, that spread across her chest like a spider’s web. She had an eyepatch over her eye, but despite earlier mentions of a prophecy of a thief missing one arm and one eye, her eyes were still completely in tact she just thought the eyepatch looked cool and fit her look.

She reached forward and with her undamaged hand, still wearing the red finger nails she always wore she pinched at his cheeks. “Sucks to be you, huh?” She said tilting her head with a girlsih smile. She leaned past him, and leaned all the way forward past his face bringing her tongue out to drag it across his ear lobe. In the background, Kumagawa Misogi bristled scratching at his neck and looking away. Komaeda blinked, he thought it was appropriate that spider webbing like thread was holding her kimono up, because he heard the hiss of a spider in the distance.  
  
Komaeda spoke, his eyes half lidded. “What are you going to do to me?”  
  
“I’m not going to do anything, you’re going to do it all for me. Don’t you remember how we first met? Senpai.”  
  
“Yeah, I do… Kouhai.” Komaeda said, as he closed his eyes. He heard something far more pronounced then the hiss of a spider. Louder. It rang, reverberating all the way through him. He could hear the sounds of bells ringing. Funeral bells.  
  
The worst (best) night of his life.  
  
The night he met Enoshima Junko. The only girl he had ever hated (loved). The person he hated (loved) the most. Not romantic love, and it went far beyond the mere matter of liking. Not the kind of love that made you want to spend the rest of your life with a person. The kind of love where you would die for that person. That nihilistic self serving kind of love. He had never once connected with others after all. All he could feel was self satisfaction.  
  
Nanami Chiaki and Komaeda Nagito descended the stairs together. They had found the secret entrance way underneath the statue of the school’s founder Izuru Kamukura.  Even though it was just a normally constructed stairwell, as they went deeper and deeper underground Komaeda could not shake the impression he was descending into the underworld.  
  
He wondered if he were to die, would anybody come after him? What a stupidly romantic thought, descending to the underworld and making the god of death cry, just to retrieve the soul of a loved one. There was no way he could ever be involved in such a story, he was not even a love interest, he was a bit player at best. Still, out of some superstition he could not bring himself to look back, and he kept his gaze fixed ahead.  
  
Nanami Chiaki, despite being the class representative, the strong willed hope of the class, the embodiment of all of their ideals of the Ultimates gathered in class 77-B however, seemed to waver. “I guess the real question is what does the school need with something like this?” She asked, nerves creeping into her voice.

 _What a stupid question to ask. Aren’t you supposed to be an Ultimate? You uncovered so many trials and tribulations to earn that title of Utlimate, how can you ask something so naive?_ He thought rather unpleasant thoughts, but put on a pleasant smile and spoke in a cheerful voice. “Right. Well my guess is somebody is doing something they really don’t want anyone to know about.”  
  
“Yeah, but what would a school have to keep secret.”  
  
“Could be anything...Human experimentation?” He sounded like he was simply winging it, because that was the impression he wanted to give. There was no way, when people like Munakata and Yukizome-sensei were investigating the school that he would be able to get to the center of the mystery before either people possessing such beautiful talents. And Nanami Chiaki was definitely the main heroine in this scenario, she should know what was going on. If she did not know what was going on, then he would merely lead her to that point.  
  
When they made it to the room, they found a thin boy clutching his head and muttering. Nanami’s eyes immediately widened in concern. “Mitarai… is that you? You’ve lost weight.”  
  
“I didn’t do anything you’ve  gotta believe me. I.. I… I didn’t know, I didn’t want to hurt people.”  
  
Komaeda  wanted to roll his eyes. There was an Ultimate down here and he was not able to overcome Enoshima Junko. Then she really must be an Ultimate among Ultimates. He wondered how somebody like him would be able to stand up to her. This might be it, what he was waiting for, the person he was waiting to meet. It was obivous he would fail here, but Nanami who cared so much for her friends would witness his death and become the hope she was destined to become with all of their classmates eyes on her.  
  
Except. They were not friends, they were classmates. No, they were not even classmates. One day, they had all played games together and it seemed like they wee getting along, but that was just shallow characterization. Saying, everybody became friends, the entire class got along well, Komaeda was just a slightly eccentric outsider who they laughed off his eccentricities, he had never been a part of such a shallow slice of life anime. He had just hoped for it slightly, gotten a view of that sight from afar the day he sat at the back of the class watching everyone play video games. They would never be friends, or classmates in life, but perhaps when she mourned his death they could become friends in death.

_Hey. You. Don’t you think it’s kind of cute that I died inside your arms tonight? That I’m fine even after I have died because it was in your arms I died._

Mitarai’s head turned around slowly, and just at that moment another door open and he saw her step in. “There’s our mini Miyazaki! How’s it going found your muse yet?”  
  
“Umm, what’s going on here…” Komaeda said, awkwardly.  
  
“Ummm...who are you? Better yet, how’s an outsider know about this place?” She swiveled her head around to meet him, and the moment they made eye contact Komaeda was struck by something. He had never imagined, death could be this beautiful. It was unpleasant, and ugly. Pestilence, disease, wounds, scars, lacerations, bleeding, death drained all the color out of life. Yet, this girl was truly beautiful, he thought that in an objective sense like one admiring art might think. No, more than admiration, it was the kind of mrable statue you would offer a sacrifice to in order to placate an unreasnoable god. That was the kind of beauty she had, perfectly chiseled, meant to represent something greater than human understand, and more cruel that human understanding as well.  
  
“Luck of the draw.”    
  
“Well that’s fasicnating.”  
  
“Officially I’m super high school level lucky, so you know.”  
  
“Ohhhhh, I getcha.” She closed her eyes, shrugging casually. “Well it’s not like it matters really one way or the other. Tragically, you’ll never be in a position to tell anybody where that luck brought you.”    
  
“If you’re counting on Ikusaba Mukuro to give you backup, I wouldn’t.”  
  
“So, what do you know, senpai?” She tilted her head one way, closing her eyes and smiling at him like an afflicting cat.  
  
“Honestly not much, but I’m learning, Kouhai.” He tilted his head the opposite way and smiled at her, like a cat of good fortune with his eyes closed and the corners of his lips perking up.  
  
“I see how it is. You must be that person whose been sneaking around campus lately actually have we met? Your voice sounds so familiar but I can’t put a face to it.. I guess you just have a forgettable face. Huh? Wasn’t your hair black not white? Well, whatever, that’s my flaky ass sister for you otherwise engaged.”  
  
“You’ve mistaken me for someone else. Oh well, I’m sure he’s not that important, if you could mistake him for someone like me though I feel sorry for him he must have terrible luck. You see, this is for hope. To protect hope, I will do anything.” He stepped forward, reaching in the inside of his jacket fo a revolver. To make this a matter of luck, he had only put one bullet in the chamber and spun it without looking. If he trusted everything to luck he would not be betrayed, or rather if he was betrayed he would know who to blame.  
  
Enoshima Junko tilted her head back, her lips cracked and a smile broke out her laughter barely suppressed. “Upupupupupuupuuuu….Puhuahuhuhu! Well go on, let’s see you derail the despair train!”

“Komaeda!” CHiaki called out behind him as he drew the gun. He had no idea why he was the one doing this, if she wanted to stop him she should do something, she should take center stage like she was meant to instead of letting an unimportant background character like him do the work.  
  
“I found this overseas. I brought it back as a souvenir.”  
  
“Wait, you can’t! KIlling is wrong, no matter what!”  
  
“You’re wrong class rep. This is for hope. Anything can be justified, if it’s for hope.” The look in his eyes, it was disappointment. No matter how many times he tried to explain it to her she would never understand him. Well, that was probably his fault for being too difficult to understand. Perhaps he would be understood when he was dead like some artists whose appreciation for their work went up over time, though he would not be around to appreciate that.  
  
“Huh?” Enoshima Junko said, watching him with curiosity. It was a bad thing, to be caught in the cross hairs of those all seein eyes, much later Komaeda Nagito would meet someone who could attest to the misfortune of catching Enoshima Junko’s interest. Komaeda had only caught it for a moment, just a flash, and it had sealed his fate. There was someone who would suffer far worse than he would.  
  
“In the end despair is just a stepping stone to hope. Sometimes, you have to put everything into it.”    
  
“Oh yeah…” Enoshima Junko’s momentary interest died, and she stood with her hand on her hip cocking her torso to one side. Komaeda noticed something odd about her eyes, they were the soruce of her talent, they should have been sparking with life and insight, but they looked rather dull, even disinterested while a gun was being pointed at her chest.

“Let’sbe real though, killing someone is a big step. It’s not something as simple as putting one foot in front of the other oh no. This only means something if you’re the epitome of despair.”  
  
“You may be the biggest hope fanboy I’ve ever met. I’d be laughing if it weren’t so sad.”  
  
“With any luck I’ll make a hash of it and you’ll get out alive. Maybe you’ll go on to become an even bigger stepping stone for someone else.”  
  
Of course, what happened after that has been flash backed to several times. The appearance of Izuru Kamukura, his and Komaeda’s first dance. That probably doesn’t need to be gone over again, Komaeda’s gay we get it. Moving on.

Just when he had thought he had died, straight through the heart he woke up. His eyes peeled apart slowly and blurred. He could see nothing of the world around him, and then a silhouette appeared in his vision. It looked like an angel, or perhaps a devil. No… it was Enoshima Junko.  
  
He woke up in the same place he had lost consciousness. Kamukura was gone, and so was Mitarai. He had simply fallen to the ground and sat thee until he woke up. He immediately looked around for Chiaki, worried she had been killed she was his… they had no connection but he still did not want her to die. She could become a great hope later, and… if he was being more honest he would just say he would be sad watching yet another person die.  
  
However as he frantically looked around Enoshima Junko smiled. “Sorry to disappoint you, but she ran off. The moment you collapsed she mistook you for dead and ditched you. Unlucky you though, you’re still alive.”  
  
Ensohima Junko walked forward and with her red nails, plucked something from his breast pocket. A school handbook, dented by a bullet that was still lodged inside. “A school handbook. That’s a dumb cliche, really what a dumb reason to keep living.”  
  
“...”  
  
“So, what are you going tod o now? Maybe missy class rep is going to get all of your friends and rally them to come and save you, or maybe that loving teacher of yours will risk her life to come down here and save you. I guess if we were in an overly idealized world, that would happen, and I could just brainwash you peeps all at once into my servitude…. That’d be lot a easier on me at least.”  
  
Komaeda listened to her rant as he stared at his own tremblin hands. He had almost killed someone, he had almost been killed himself, and he was still alive. No, in this moment his heart was beating faster than it ever did before. He had never felt so alive.    
  
He was always so weak, barely clinging onto life, unable to control about a thing about his own life. But Enoshima Junko, given completely into despair but still blessed with wonderful talent, she was a walking contradiction of the philosophies he held most dear, she was everything wrong with the world and everything right.  
  
She was strong beause despair was her strength. She was strong because she was an overwhelming enemy, that would take a greater hope to take her down. If Ultimate Despair was the worst bad luck, then it was logical Ultimate Hope the good luck would follow it.  
  
“So, what are you going to do? Nobody’s going to save you, because there’s no such thing as heroes you know.”  
  
“I don’t need a hero, all I need is you.” Komaeda said, and then he threw himself at her feet, and slammed his head hard into the ground. Over and over, over, over, over, crack, thrash, crack, he supplicated, he begged, he chipped away the wooden floor with his thrashin head so he could bow his head even lower than the floor in front of her. “Please…. Please, let me serve you. I need you. I’ll give you the rest of my life, I’ll give you everything… please…”  
  
Strength, control, agency, he wanted all those things. He wanted a say in how he would die, even if in order to write his own death he would have to cast himself as the villain. He wanted so little, just to live a little bit longer and be a little more significant when he was on the brink of his own death, but he also… wanted everything.  
  
“Huh?” Enoshima Junko tilted her head in confusion. “I didn’t even do anything yet to convince you, what a weirdo.”  
  
Transitioning once more to the present, Enoshima Junko had finished explaining her plan to Komaeda Nagito. “So, will you do it?”

As he listened to her proposal, he thought how little had changed from the past. Once again, after failing initially to die and having a brief brush with Kamukura he was submitting himself to Enoshima JUnko. “Of course. No matter what the circumstances I will always remain the same, I will always sacrifice myself for hope.”  
  
“Yep. Yep. This is what you’ve been asking us to do since the beginning. This is what you wanted right? That if we had a murder plan to consult with you ahead of time so we could work together. How about it, how does it sound to you?”  
  
Nagito Komaeda nodded his head. “I can’t think of anything to add. It’s absolutely perfect, the perfect murder.”  
  
“That’s good, if you didn’t agree I was going to have to kill Kumagawa-senpai instead.”

『Hey! What was all that about only wanting to kill me in the real world?』  
  
“Well, you should know I change my mind quickly by now.” Junko said sticking her tongue out at him.

『That’s too quick. If you change that quick than those kinds of scenes won’t have emotional weight behind them.』  
  
“Just once ore. I know it’s been hard, senpai. It hurt a lot didn’t it? Just once more, do this one more thing and then everyone will love you. You’ll die beloved by all your classmates, just like Nanami-senpaii did so long ago.” Enoshima Junko addressed him in a gentle manner, then suddenly she grabbed him by the hair and wrenched his head backwards by the knots in his hair she had twisted around her fingers.  
  
“W-what are you?”  
  
“This is fine right? You said you wouldn’t back out, so I’m making sure you don’t…”  
  
“Y...yeah…It’ll probably be better if I can’t talk anyway.”  
  
Kumagawa Misogi could not bear to look, so he averted his eyes. Enoshima Junko plucked up a needle, and then in and out, in an out, in and out, she put a needle into his mouth and slowly, and precisely sewed it shut. It did not hurt as much as Komaeda thought it would. Just a few stabbin pin pricks among his lips. He wondered if this is what kissing Enoshima Junko must feel like, like sinking your head straight into a rosebush.. A flower that had flower at all, only thorns, that was Enoshima Junko. When she finished, she pulled the thread tight, and sealed his lips shut.  
  
“You look so cute, senpai!” Junko said with a smile, pinching at his cheeks once ore. Before she lost interest in her act of cruelty and turned around.  
  
Kumagawa finally surveyed the inside of her room. Hitoyoshi Zenkichi, Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu, Shiranui Hansode, Shiranui Hanten, Tanaka Gundham, Nanami Chiaki, Tsumiki Mikan, Youka Naze, they were all present. At least their heads were. Floating in fish tanks, of various sizes that Enoshima Junko had bought from the shop.

『How did you recover their bodies?』Kumagawa Misogi said, as he leaned forward to look at Mikan’s tank. He rested his hand against the glass for a minute before Enoshima Junko came up behind him.  
  
“I just walked up to Monokuma-sensei and asked where he was hiding them. See, for my death game I had a plan for where I was going to store the bodies ahead of time. If he wanted to be on my level, then he needed to think of that too.Once he told me where they were, I just sent Medaka-chan to fetch them.”

『You didn’t do anything weird with them did you?』  
  
“Define weird.”

『Pretty much everything you do?』  
  
“Nothing I do is weird, everybody else is weird I’m the one who sets the standards for normality.”

『Don’t blame everyone else for your problems that’s bad writing. Still, it’s odd that Monokuma-chan would cooperate with you like this. 』  
  
Suddenly, out of nowhere the small bear appeared. “I do everything I can to foster a healthy learning environment. And you should be careful, Enoshima. If your plan gets everyone killed you’ll be breaking my rule.”  
  
“What rule?” Junko tilted her head.  
  
“The rule that says you can only kill a maximum of two people.”  
  
“Oh, you’re such a cute little basic bear Monokuma-sensei. If that’s what you think I’m doing, you really are a cute one.” Enoshima Junko walked forward and patted him on the head. The bear made several bear noises, that is to say he growled at her. “Hey one more question, if nobody realizes what they’re looking at is a dead body does the body alarm go off?”  
  
“Why… would that ever need to be clarified?”  
  
“What if I wanted to weekend at bernies this shit?”  
  
“Is there anybody really that stupid?”  
  
“Well, Hinata-senpai is on this island.” Junko said with a smile.  
  
Kumagawa Misogi stared at Tsumiki Mikan’s head floating in the tank further. He could not help but think the enigmatic expression that she wore in death, even though he could not understand it was the exact same expression Komaeda wore on his face right now with his lips stitched up.

 

 ♛

  
_My fault. My fault. My fault._ _  
_ _Komaeda’s going to die and it will be my fault.  
We were so close. Why is he going away? Why is he going to disappear to some far away place?_

  
He had all the talent in the world and he was still empty. He had everything in the world and he was still useless. He could not even protect one person, one person who was in the same cottage as him, sleeping in the same bed as him. Somehow, a boy with legs that were cut up had managed to run away from him. Did Komaeda really hate him so much that he had to run away even on broken legs?  
  
He had been running around every island, searching by himself for a day. His body was beyond the point of exhaustion when he collapsed on that beach. Suddenly, by chance Ikusaba Mukuro walked in front of him.  
  
“Huh? Hinata-kun what’s wrong? I was looking all over for you when nobody was at your cabin…”  
  
“Komaeda… Kumagawa… went missing, can’t find either of them.”  
  
“Oh no… I’m worried.”  
  
“Really, you don’t sound worried.”  
  
“I really am worried! That’s just what my voice sounds like. You shouldn’t bully a cute girl that’s worried!”

“Cute…?” Hinata looked up, his eyes a bit blurry from exhaustion. “Yeah, I guess… you are cute a little bit. How did I not notice before.”  
  
“I’m Ikusaba Mukuro, Enoshima Junko’s cute older sister.” Ikusaba Mukuro, was cute after all this time and had finally realized it.  
  
“Yeah… Wait, if Junko is in on this won’t you be helping her?”  
  
“N-no, she left me out of my plan. She was going to tell me what she was up to, but i demanded she leave me out of it to prove that I wouldn’t work with her again.”  
  
“... Couldn’t you have pretended to go along with the plan and then just decided not to help her after she told you what she was planning?” Hinata Hajime asked, target like eyes narrowing on her.  
  
Mukuro innocently scratched at the back of her head. “I… I didn’t think of that.” Ikusaba Mukuro, was dumber than Hinata Hajime after all this time and had finally realized it.  
  
When she saw how much Hinata was struggling, she grabbed him by the back of the shirt and lifted him up onto her shoulder. “Let’s look together, I’m faster than you are anyway.”  
  
“I weigh nothing to you, do I?” Hinata said, feeling embarrassed being picked up like this by a girl.  
  
“It’s like lifting a sack full of kittens.”  
  
“How cute! You’re cute after all!” Hinata Hajime said as the two of them took off running, he sitting on her back like he was a child being carried around. He was exactly that actually, and he felt as helpless as a child as well.  
  
The only island he had yet to investigate was the fifth one. Only Kurokami Medaka, Ikusaba Mukuro and Kirigiri Kyoko investigated that island, because he had spent the entire week trying and failing to investigate Nagito Komaeda, his greatest mystery and his greatest distraction.  
  
The fifth island unfolded before them like a work in progress. It literally looked half built, and Hinata could see cranes stretching across the horizon and a giant central tower. As they neared a factory made of a giant Monokuma head, they found Pekoyama on the ground injured.  
  
“It’s Enoshima Junko! She kidnapped Komaeda while I was watching over him, and then attacked me. She’s running around in a red Kimono…”  
  
“Why a red Kimono?”  
  
Pekoyama clutched the knife wound in her arm. She stabbed her sword into the ground to force herself up. “That’s not the important part! There’s a woman in a red kimono and she’s running around armed. she’s planning a murder Hinata-kun, we have to stop her.”

“No, you stay here Pekoyama. I don’t want to risk you getting hurt, I know you’re always putting yourself down as a spare but you’re just as important to me as he is okay? You two… are my friends.” Hinata said, from behind Mukuro. Mukuro tried to stay quiet so she would not intrude on the moment.  
  
Pekoyama pointed the direction which they had gone, and Hinata ran opposite to the factory. He saw rows upon rows of noodle stands, with brightly colored red paper lanterns. AMongst them, there was a figure dancing in a red kimono. She was not dancing though rather fighting, he saw the silhouette of Kirigiri Kyoko. The two of them traded blows with each other in the distance, illuminated by the paper lanterns.  
  
Then the figure with long girly legs, wearing the kimono drew a knife. It had serrated edges, it was Ikusaba Mukuro’s combat knife. Hinata and Mukuro had gotten close enough to see the figure’s face, but it was masked. They were wearing a mask that looked like a luchador mask, emblazoned with the symbol of Monokuma’s left eye on the forehead. Kirigiri and the Kimono wearing figure struggled with the knife, until Kirigiri let go and the figure stabbed into the wooden counter of one of the food stands.  
  
Before they could catch up to them, the figure ripped the knife out of the stand and ran off. Kirigiri out of breath nodded her head towards both of them. “Thank you, Ikusaba… I knew I could trust you to show up.”  
  
“Trust…” Ikusaba said in a soft voice.  
  
Hinata jumped off her back. “Take care of your friend, I can handle it from here.”  
  
“We’re not…” Ikusaba Mukuro tried to correct him but he could not finish that sentence.  
  
He ran off to chase Enoshima Junko. He would not forgive her, it was probably her fault they were in this killing game in the first place, and that was not enough for her, she had taken his memories and now she was going to take everything for him.

“Are you alright, Ikusaba-san? You look worried.”  
  
“It bothers me that we haven’t seen Misogi-chan.”  
  
“He’s like a brother to you right, he’s always kind to you?” Kirigiri who had no family of her own as well, could understand her owrry at least.  
  
“He always shows a kind face in front of me, but he wasn’t always like that. When I first met him, I thought… this person is just as cruel as my sister. He can be equally cruel as he is kind, though he hides that part of himself from me now… and it worries me…”

Hinata Hajime made it to a factory with long conveyor belts. He walked uneasily between the rows and rows of conveyor betls. Suddenly, he was attacked from behind and girlish pale hands wrapped around his neck. He saw one hand covered in fake nails. So it was true after all, Enoshima Junko was behind this.  
  
He had never hated anybody so much. “This is all your fault…” He muttered as he summoned his strength to violently buck her off of him. He swung his body around wildly, and then slammed his back into the edge of a conveyor belt. The knife fell out of her hand and skittered across the floor. He went to reach for it, picking it up and stabbing it straight into her side. “You should just die already… the world would be so much better without you… if only you hadn’t been born…Doing all of this just because you’re bored it’s unforgiveable. It’s your fault, it’s your fault for being born, for being born in that academy…”  
  
He wanted to stab her again and again, but despite being stabbed she wrenched herself out of his grip and rolled away. She jumped onto another conveyor belt and let it carry her away. Hinata took chase and went after her. Only to see a room where a robotic assembly line was assembling what looked to be a female android, and one of the large mecanhical monsters that was at Monokuma’s beck and call.  
  
Kurokami Medaka was watching all of this. “Kurokami-san! Come with me, Enoshima-san is trying to commit a murder.”  
  
“I know but… she just talked to me and showed me this. There’s an old log on this computer, an email from Naegi Makoto-kun stating that the world ended. That’s a joke right, that’s definitely a joke right? This is some avant-garde new sense of humor…”  
  
“Kurokami-san! We don’t have time for that kind of shocking revelation, who cares what Makoto whatever said, frankly he’s overrated! Let’s go! We have to save Komaeda otherwise Hitoyoshi-kun will kick our asses in the afterlife.”  
  
Kurokami Medaka’s eyes suddenly sharpened. “Of course, you’re right.’  
  
Hinata regrouped with Ikusaba Mukuro, and Kirigiri Koyko as the two of them exited the factory. Now, Mukuro was carrying Kirigiri on her back. She could probably make a paid service of her piggy back rides, she seemed rather good at it. Hinata could not allow himself to be distracted though there was only one part of the island they had not checked.  
  
They rushed into the large monokuma shaped building. Just before he was about to order them to fan out and search the whole building, he saw out of the corner of his eye, the door to the back room was ajar. The same door they had opened and thwarted Komaeda’s suicide attempt from.  
  
Hinata rushed forward. Every part of his body was screaming at him to stop, and that he did not want to see what happened next, but it was too late now. If he hesitated for a moment Junko could have already executed her plan and killed Komaeda. He threw thr door open and looked forward ready to face whatever was behind it.  
  
Only to find out it didn’t matter.  
  
Nothing he did mattered. It did not matter how fast or slow he had run after Komaeda, if he got close to him, or treated him like an enenmy the entire time. If he had imprisoned him after the bomb scare, or gently nursed him back to health.  
  
Not a single thing he did mattered.  
  
“Nothing changed…” Hinata said, despair entering his voice finally. “Not a single damn thing.”

  
 ♛

 

“ _Do you want hope?”_ _  
_ _  
_ As he lay on the ground, his childhood self appeared over him once more. He was standing up, and leaning over his head so he took up most of his sight, white curls fallin over his face. What an interesting question.  
  
He had always worshipped hope, hope was everything to him, the world needed hope, he needed hope, but he had never stopped to consider if he wanted hope for himself. He never really thought in wants, because it was too selfish of him who caused destruction for his very existence, and who already had so much money, security, a big empty house, and who had been invited into the top school in the nation having done nothing to earn it to want for anything.

“ _Do you want hope?”_

His childhood self repeated again. Even though he was laying down on the ground there was nothing at all around him. Just his childhood himself, and him, and a plane of dark. Perhaps there was a line that connected the sea and sky but it was too far off into the distance to make out.  
  
As he rolled onto his back, he saw a star in the distance. A single point of light. A hope fragment. The same kind of video game like crystals they were supposed to be collecting at the start of their journey. It was so long ago he had almost forgotten it, even though Kumagawa removed his degenerative memory disease.  
  
He looked up and saw that the star was crumbling. He wondered… what if he had never started the killing game? What if instead of trying to force a drama on the island, they had just lived boring lives getting closer to each other, and collecting those stupid hope fragments that Ajimu Najimi told them to.  
  
The star was crumbling. It would be gone soon, his only point of light. He was scared of the dark, of not feeling, of not seeing, of not being conscious anymore, he wished to die but he did not wish to stop eixsting. Was that selfish of him? Probably. He just wanted to be able to feel something and witness something in the end, to make it feel like his journey had been worth something.  
  
He rolled onto his knees and started to crawl forward towards the star. Slowly, he made his way there. As he looked down though he noticed he was leaving a trail behind him. A trail of red blood, dripped out of him with every small centimeter he crawled forward. He wondered why this was and looked to his body. There was a psear stuck straight through his abdomen, he was tied at the wrist, and both of his legs, he had a knife driven through one of his hands, and he had stabbed his legs several times. Komaeda tried to open his mouth to scream in pain, but his lips had been sewn shut. Well, it was probably better that way. At least he wouldn’t say anything stupid anymore, for the rest of his life. At least he would never hurt anybody with his words again.  
  
He kept crawling towards the star. He tugged at the rope until it broke to free himself, he ignored the pain of the spear shifting in and out of his stomach. He kept crawling towards the star, all he needed to do was touch it once. A light waiting at the end of a dark tunnel, a light that would completely absolve you.  
  
That was hope, right?  
  
“ _Do you want hope? For all you talk about it, you don’t even know what hope is do you?”_

His child self pointed out. And he hated his child self for saying those words. He saw the star about to crumble away completely, and he was just about to finally touch it when he saw a plane coming to crash from the sky above.  
  
He saw the shadow of the plane extending over his childhood self and knew where it would land. Komaeda looked at the star in regret, and dove over his childhood self. He curled his back around the other boy to protect him, wrapping his arms around him.  
  
The plane crashed behind him.  
  
The star crumbled away into nothing and it’ slight faded.  
  
“ _You’re stupidly sentimental, you know that? For a guy who has no friends, how exactly has that sentimentality helped you?”_

Komaeda had no answer. Suddenly the world crashed in front of him and shattered. The door opened and Hajime Hinata stormed in. Behind him, all the others stood watching in shock. Hinata rushed forward and wrapped his hands around Komaeda on the ground.  
  
“Hinata-kun. I… I was afraid…. I would never see you again!” He said, tears welling in the corners of his eyes.  
  
“Where would I have gone? I’m just a nobody after all. It’s not like I have anything better to do than watch over you.”  
  
“Will… will you stay with me on this island forever?”  
  
“Yeah, absolutely. I”ll stay right here forever.” Hinata said, smiling warmly at him.  
  
“Hehe…” For once, Komaeda laughed and there was no bit of madness in his voice. It was not forced in the slightest. “Yes, if I could have a life like that… It will have made every misfortune in my life… worth suffering… Is that a stupid thing to say, Hinata-kun?”  
  
“...”  
  
“Hinata-kun? I think Hope was the bonds between us all along. I can’t believe it turned out to be such a corny answer.”  
  
“...”  
  
“Hinata-kun? Why are you so quiet?”

 

 ♛

 

Nagito Komaeda was dead on the floor.  
Dressed in a red Kimono. Hinata Hajime had suspected it, and then confirmed it when he ripped the luchador mask off of his body.  
  
There were six knives in his back.  
  
The moment all of them had opened up the room, Kumagawa Misogi had smiled to greet them. He held a bloody knife in his hand still. Blood had splashed on his right cheek, underneath his eye. He spoke in his usual chipper voice, completely unaffected by the scene in front of him.『It wasn’t my fault!』  
  
Hinata Hajime collapsed to his knees, throwing the mask aside. “We didn’t change a damn thing. After all of that Komaeda died in the same room…” His voice broke. Everything about him broke. He shattered, and drained out of the cracks that had formed in his psyche. “I can’t do anything… I’m nothing…”

『Whoa. You should be more optimistic, Hajime-chan. What is it that Nagito-chan would say that this moment? We need to overcome the despair of his death, and make hope shine all the brighter.』  
  
Nobody said a word. Enoshima Junko had snuck in among them to join the crowd, wearing the same custom school uniform she always wore. She was smiling too, of course.  
  
『You now, in tarot the six of swords symbolizes a safe passageway. I’m sure, this is Nagito-chan symbolizing that we need to sacrifice him for our safe passage. Didn’t that happen in a greek myth once too?』  
  
Kumagawa continued to talk. He was the only one that could. Hinata simply stared forward, his hair antannae that was always pointing straight up, suddenly drooped forward, and his eyes started to glow red. “The iphigenia. You’re thinking of the iphigenia, Kumagawa.”

『Oh, thank you Izuru-chan.』  
  
“You know… just like that king in that story, you won’t be forgiven, Kumagawa.” Izuru Kamukura spoke in a voice lacking any emotion. He could not even drump up the emotion to feel vengeful right at this moment. He was that empty.

『I know, Izuru-chan. We’re past the point of no return.』  
  
“Misogi-chan!” Ikusaba Mukuro charged from behind the others pushing them out of her way. She even pushed her sister out of the way, not noticing she was there. She stepped in front of Kumagawa Misogi, then immediately plunged her fist right into his face. He fell over, and she jumped up on his chest not even letting up for a moment. She hit him a few more times. “Why? Why? Why? Why did you do this? You’re acting… you’re acting like Junko…This is what Junko would have done!”  
  
She yelled in his face. Kumagwa’s smile did not break no matter how much she pounded it, and eventually she grew tired. She rested her head against his chest, tears welling in the corner of his eyes. “You said… you said there was no point of no return. You said anything could be salvaged, even if it was in the underworld.”  
  
『But in that story, the moment the hero turns his head to look back his wife he was rescuing from the dead disappears. That’s why I can’t look back so...it’s hard to explain...』  
  
“You said… you said… you said live…”

『I’m sorry, Mukuro-chan.』  
  
Kumagawa Misogi, face half beaten smiled at her weakly.

『Your brother is just a liar, after all.』 This was it. This was the ending he so selfishly and rudely wanted to witness. He had to keep watching, even though Mukuro had given him a black eye, and it was hard to keep his eye open from the swelling, even though there was nothing pleasant in front of him. 


	48. Survival Strategy 8 (Duel Noir x Blanc)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minor tokyo ghoul reference to Tsukiyama and Chie's backstory. A light Hanekawa reference too.

Nagito Komaeda was dead.  
I know that was established last chapter, but it bears repeating. Kumagawa had to repeat it over, and over until he would accept it. Even though he was the one to plunge the knife in ultimately, he still had the gall to try to reject the image of the corpse in front of him. His eyes wanted to look away, he had already been weak once and looked away when Junko sewed his lips shut. Apparently, for the man who lied and claimed he could face any pain directly head on, even he had a limit. That limit was arbitrary though, and cruel, just like him.  
  
To establish how dead Nagito Komaeda is though, Kumagawa looked at the corpse in detail. Also, before you get any clever notions this isn’t building up to a subversion where the corpse turns out to be fake and Nagito Komaeda is alive all along. The boy who once stood on the cliff of death, looking down at the choppy waters below, had jumped off, and smashed his body into smithereens as the waters bashed him against the rocks again and again.  
  
Just like in his attempted suicide, Nagito Komaeda was sprawled out against the ground. All four of his limbs were tied up, with the rope on one severed. However, this time the weapon of choice was different, and his body was flipped on the other side. He as face down, but Kumagawa walked all the way over to his head, and entwined his fingers in pale hair to wrench the head upwards. Komaeda’s eyes were still open in death. His eyes were normally pale, like a cloudy sky, but they had lost all color whatsoever. Komaeda’s eyes which had raced back and forth observing every last detail, always nervously looking away, afraid to look directly at anything, they now stared straight ahead. Straight past Kumagawa as if he was not even thee. He even shook Komaeda’s head twice to try to change his gaze, but those eyes would not move anywhere else. They were fixed. Eyes, that had gone from grey to pure white. There was something unnatural about pure white, it was the antithesis of Kumagawa, just lookig at the color unnerved him. Even Komaeda’s hair, which usually had a springy quality and a touch of red at the very ends of his hair, now sat lifeless on his head, pure white as well. Such a lifeless color.  
  
As he looked into those eyes, Kumagawa felt his grip on reality begin to slip again. Apparently that was how weak he was, he could not look at what he had done even when he was forcing himself to look directly at it. It was like staring at a page in a book, but not having any of the letters enter your mind. The letters fell off the page, and the page was nothing more than a blank space. Pure white. Except, he could not stand blank spaces. He would fill in the blank space with thoughts and self mutilation if he could, consistently scrape it off with letters and sound. Anyway, just as the letters fell off a page when he could not concentrate and read it, even forcing himself to look at Komaeda’s body, straining his eyes to the point he felt like they might roll out of his sockets he could not see what was in front of him.

Reality fragmented, and shattered like glass. Kumagawa always tried to see beauty in broken and twisted things, but he could see nothing at all in the broken and twisted up corpse lying rotting in front of him. He could not see anything at all. Images did not process, it was just light reflecting in his eyes, sound did not process it was just vibrations rattling in his ears.

Dissocation, a response to trauma, Kumagawa simply wanted to escape from this moment so much that he would even stop processing things consciously. Minuses were just metaphors for dealing with trauma after all, and Kumagawa always strived to dissociate himself from the moment, to deny it, to feel nothing at all.  
  
Even when he had gone past the point of sensation however, when the world around him was pure white, he could feel something. It was impossible to feel nothing at all after all, a fool’s dream, just a way of escaping pain. He felt something tickle along his collarbone, and opened his eyes once more.  
  
At his lowest points, when he needed comfort the most he would envision himself returning to the classroom he spent three of his middle school years with Ajimu. Yet, at this moment when he opened his eyes to see the classroom it had been entirely trashed, destroyed, desks were broken everywhere, the chalk board had been clawed as if mauled by a great beast, there was shattered glass on the floor and the windows and a portion of the wall was just gone, a great hole had been torn in the side of the building.  
  
When he walked over to gaze out throuh the hole, he saw an infinite amount of desks stretching towards the horizon. They were piled up and down, naerly arranged in rows as they extended on the top and bottom of the horizon.  They shook back and forth and then broke apart. The outer world was becoming broken too, just like his recollection of that room. The shaking, it was a great billowing sound. The sound of great bells ringing in the distance. Funeral bells. It must have been what Koameda was hearing all the time, ringing in his ears so loudly, beckoning him forward that it made him hard to listen and interact with the regular world. He was indifferent to the world outside his little classroom breaking apart though, becuse his clasroom had always been broken and that meant one thing.  
  
He could not come back here anymore. The one safe place he always imagined himself in to endure the worst moments, the one memory of happiness he had, he could not come back to anymore. His heart had finally moved outside of his room. It was just a dream, a hallucination, he would blink in a moment and it would be over, and the reality in front of his eyes would be far worse and yet he still felt unbelievably saddened by it. The kind of dream that when you woke up from, you would wake up and shed tears from your eyes.

  
He just wanted to go back, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t even express the desire anymore. If he tried to speak, flowers and overly poetic words would bloom for his mouth. As he thought about it he drowned in his own melancholy. This was just a dream from the past.

『 _Yeah I remember now I've dreamed about this place before._ 』  
『 _A safe quiet place; when we were born._ 』  
『 _We shared a lonely, beautiful life;_ 』  
『 _In a school of lies._ 』

Kumagawa felt something tickle at his collar bone again. He looked down to see finger’s reaching towards the buttons of his shirt, long slender feminine fingers, pale, and tipped with pointed red nails. The nails easily slid in between one of the buttons and undid them. At moments like these, Kumagawa expected his shadow to appear again and taunt him, that voice in his head that sounded eerily like him, and spoke in his voice to say terrile things he would never say, this was rather new.  
  
The nails raked across his bare chest when they were finished unbuttoning him. They traveled from his bare breast, to his collar bone, and then along the slope of his neck. Kumagawa thought he might be strangled for a moment, but they passed the chance at his neck. Perhaps, he was wishing they would strangle him.

As much as the claws left red streaks as they moved across his skin, he could not help but be comforted by those pinpricks of pain. Perhaps because it was all he was used to, perhaps because when he was alone like that he could pretend that this pain was love. The  hand reached up from behind and embraced his cheek. As it did, his eyes slowly fell closed, and he only felt the other hand traveling to the other side of his face. The hands traveled all the way up, and combed in between his long and shaggy hair. He had no idea what she was doing, covering his face like this.  
  
Then, suddenly the gentle touch turned to pain again as her claws dug into the edges of his face. She was digging in hard, trying to get underneath his skin. He understood now, she was trying to pry off his mask. Behind him, he heard the sound of laughter, just behind his earlobe, the short and harsh breath of laughter, like kisses being dotted into the sweet spot just underneath his ear.

  
『 _Smiles were etched on our faces_ _, because we wouldn't cry._ 』  
『  _Because we wanted to see color in the world like everyone else, w_ _e drank paint_ 』  
『 _Until rainbows above us turned into blood._ 』  
『 _You and I... We started wanting to hold each other._ 』  
『 _That's when I realized,  can’t do any of this alone anymore._ 』  
『 _Together we used to smile and laugh at our sick past!_ 』  
『 _Even if you only give love to toys._ 』  
『 _For you, I’d destroy the ones who comfortably live a lie._ 』

The sound of laughter was his own. Left alone to guard Komaeda’s body, he had threw his head back and started to laugh. The moment he realized this he was dragged back to reality. He stopped suddenly, as if he really had been strangled, and his laughter died.  
  
He wondered why of all things in this moment he dreamed of Junko’s hands embracing him, and had such strange thoughts. Komaeda’s body, right he needed to look at Koameda’s body. He had described all features of the face, all that was left was the cause of death itself. Six knives, plunged into his torso. Kumagawa finally understood what the red symbol of Komaeda’s shirt always meant, it was blood a trail of blood on his shirt because Komaeda always walked around with an open wound. He was dying slowly, bleeding out, but even that did not justify killing him. Even as pale as blood loss as he was, even as wounded as he was he could continue to live. Not when there were six knives however, plunged in random spots in his back, the holes in which showed his skin as the ornate red kimono he had been dressed in only draped loosely around his shoudlers and opened to show the deathly pale skin around his chest, as his legs. He had been pale in lief, and was somehow pale in death, pure white. A pure white that had been violated, and dyed in drops of read that spread out until they stained the whole piece.  
  
Knives stabbed into his back, clearly not a suicide but a murder. Six of them in all. All of them in different places, as if stabbed at random. Kumagawa sat around the corpse waiting.  
  
Until he heard a rather annoying voice. “What is this? That old cliche that the crimminal must return to the scene of the crime? You know if you just sit around waiting for the others to show up then it’s no fun for me.”

『Hmmm, what are you doing here?....Kai-chan...』  
  
Monokuma behind him recoiled in disgust. “Obviously, I wanted a front row seat. And quit it with that nickname, you are literally the worst at everything but especially with nicknames.”

『You wanted a front row seat? Even if your favorite show ever, watching it over and over again from the front row must get boring after awhile.』  
  
“Really, who thought it would be a good idea to include you in the first place. These death games are fun because they have colorful characters with interesting gimmicks. Being the worst at everything ever isn’t a character trait, it’s not even pitiable.”

『You always give me such a hard time. It’s not nice being singled out and bullied by the teacher, especially when the teacher is trying to murder everybody else.』  
  
“I can’t help it, I just hate you the most. Why are you even here?”

『It’s not my fault you know. It’s not like I’m the one who wanted to participate in this game. Still, even if I’m an intruder in this world you think we would have gotten along by now.』  
  
“Ewe. Who would want to get along with you, anyway? Look at what happened to Tsumiki, Komaeda, and Hitoyoshi, all of them died the worst deaths and had their corpses defiled and what’s the common thread through all of that?”

『You know she would have said ‘it’s a good thing they met you, you dragged them down into such despair. What a kind and thoughtful friend you are, all you ever do is share your misery with others’. I guess that’s why we can’t get along, you’re just too different in the end.』

Monokuma tried to approach Komaeda’s body, but suddenly from everywhere in a circle around him screws popped up.

『Don’t touch him.』  
  
“Don’t you think it would have been better if you had died?”

『Yep, yep, it would have been much better for everyone, but that’s why I had to live. I can only pick the worst option possible for others and myself after all.』

Monokuma glared at the screws in front of him. “Threatening violence against your teacher is no good, you know.”

『You can go ahead and shoot me with a machine gun for all I care, I’ll probably survive. Well, even if I don’t, you’ll have beaten me using a quick cheat. Really, resorting to such a cheap way to kill a person as weak as me would be a victory for me finally, and it would reflect poorly on you.』  
  
“Fine, whatever stare at the corpse and angst all you want. Make it about yourself again even though you’re not the one who died. You’re no fun at all!” Monokuma said, stamping his paws on the floor like a child throwing a tantrum. “I don’t know what she sees in you!” Monokuma yelled pettily, before disappearing as suddenly as he always did.

Kumagawa walked over the screws that he had summoned disappearing. He picked up one of the knives fro the body, ripped it out and plunged it again. Again, again, again, there was no point in this, he was only making things worse for himself, he was only sinking into the swamp further and further as he thrashed about and struggling. When he felt something wet splash on his face, he stopped himself. He put the knife back in replacing it as it had been, then pulled a mask over Komaeda’s face lacing it up carefully so none of his hair appeared, and then stood up slowly.  
  
Just like the time he had waited for Medaka-chan to open the door after he had torn off Ajimu’s face. With an inhuman amount of calm, he waited for the door to be thrown open by Hinata, as he held a knife he had kept in his pocket, and saw the blood seeping  off of his elbow onto the knife, and dripping off of his chin.  
  
There were only two times in his chaotic life that he had felt total and utter calm. The moment just before Medaka-chan opened the door, and right now. Complete acceptance. The resolve to drown.

 

 ♛

 

Komaeda Nagito was dead.  
  
  
Yes, we’ve been over this quite thoroughly but Hinata had just learned of this fact. His reaction was much shorter though because unlike Kumagawa Misogi who struggled until the bitter end, Hinata Hajime gave up quite easily.

It was like the difference in most people who were executed by hanging. There were those who the oment the floor disappeared beneath their feet and gravity took them, the noose embraced their necks tightly and completely and snapped their necks in an instant. For those who were not so lucky though, their necks remained in tact and they simply hung there. In that case, over time it became more and more difficult to breathe. The end result was always death, but it could take hours. Hours of struggling pointlessly, as the result was always the same in the end. Then, it was not the noose that killed you, but rather the shoulder’s pressing down on your lungs. The body’s own weight, unable to bear that burden anymore, suffocated itself after long hours of struggle with no possible good ending. There was something almost poetic about it.  
  
For those who were curious the cause of death was the same in most crucifixions. Arms held wide apart, it became impossible for the body to support its own weight, and the person slowly suffocated to death. To speed the process, the legs would be broken. Even christ had a lance driven into his side and ripped from his flesh in order to make him die faster. As Hinata saw Komaeda’s body tied up with his arms splayed out, facing away from them all, bleeding out with blood dripped from his back to his sides as if he had been whipped and had his flesh gouged out he could not help but think of crucifixion.  
  
It’s not like he saw that body as sacred however. The living Komaeda was beautiful, he could smile, his eyes could get lost as he rambled about something without even realizing it, then when he did he would focus again and let out the cutest gasp. The path of the martyr was not one anybody should have chosen, there was nothing beautiful about that kind of death, it was only looking at his corpse Hinata realized truly how uly Komaeda’s desire had been to die for everyone. Nobody liked pain, nobody suffered beautifully for the sake of others, the path of the martyr was nothing but thorns, and a crown of thorns was worthless just a mockery.  
  
Enough religious imagery though, what was this evangelion? The moment he saw the body, Hinata fell to his knees. That was not religious imagery, he was just in shock. His hands traveled to his face, and he dragged his short and weathered nails across his own skin. Just like he had wanted to a long time ago, he wished he could tear his face off, scratch away the outer layer o his face until he revealed what was underneath. He wanted to scream, but there was nothing inside of him. No breath, and no sound, when he opened his mouth it only revealed how empty he was.  
  
Pure white. Hinta felt guilty for how many times he had associated Komaeda with a shinigami, either consciously or unconsciously. It must have been cruel, it must have been unbearably cruel for him to continually remind a dying boy just how much he was dying. It was only when he saw the dead body of Komaeda that he realized how alive Komaeda had previously looked. Like a fruit that tasted its sweetest right before it was about to go rotten, Komaeda had such much color right before he died, he was at his most alive at the edge o death, continually dancing around, ranting and raving, even screaming, puppeteering his half dead body over and over again forcing it to move, to continue to live. Now, all of the colors had bled off the canvas. Komaeda was pure white. The only kind of purity that could be obtained by death, he would no longer laugh, no longer hurt others, no longer mix his colors and stain his soul as he tried to interact with them. Pure white. He could touch nothing now, and nothing could reach him. Hinata hated the image of a blank canvas, he’d do anything to see colors again, even drink paint.  
  
As Hinata had always feared, Komaeda ran off ahead of him. He ran away to some far off place, leaving him behind. Not wanting to deal with that, feeling alone he wrapped his arms around himself. He bowed his body away from Komaeda and did not look forward. Slowly, he began to curl in on himself, and he felt a weight on his shoulders.

**“Instantly, I saw his true character. The overfamiliar attitude, the friendly smile… But under that thin skin, I could detect a foul offensive odor like some kind of putrid slime. In a sensible way of course. How should I put this… It was a smell exclusive to those who were already finished.”**

A voice spoke above him. He looked up uneasily, and saw that there was another boy standing on his shoulders wearing his same clothes. He felt the weight of his soles digging into his shoulder plates, pushing them apart. Unlike Hajime Hinata, whose face had almost every emotion written on it, that boy’s face was completely blank. He held his hand in front of his chin, and looked at the scene in front of him with a look of neutral contemplation. On the edges of his vision, he could see black hair falling down all around him, in endless tangles. Ink, pure ink falling onto the paper. The paper was written on again and again. Everything was written on the page of pure white paper. Until there were no spaces between the words at all. The entire paper had been written on so many times, with so many different words it was incoherent, it was pitch black now.  
  
Pitch black. When he looked at his other self, he could not help but think about the pitch black and shadowy existence of Kumagawa Misogi, and he was terrified, he was scared of pitch black. Beyond being scared though, he had no idea at all why his other self had come here now and said those words. HIs other self had refused to answer him for so long, remaining quiet at the back of his head. Was he abnegating himself now? Avoid responsibility for what he had failed to prevent, the boy whose fingers had slipped out of his because he did not hold his hand tight enough.  
  
“You’re really cruel, don’t say it like he was already dead. He was alive, he was definitely alive.” Hinata murmured. However, that was the cruel truth that he could not take. Dissociation, the moment they were confronted with the corpse, both boys wanted to dissociated themselves.  
  
Kumagawa had broken out of it with his own laughter, but there was no such escape for Hinata. He was not someone who struggled valiantly until the end. He was rather fortunate like that. He looked up and saw his other self still standing on his back, and wondered if he had been standing on his shoulders the entire time, watching with such a blank expression on his face. He wondered how he was being judged by his other self, probably poorly. Then he noticed it, the reason his other self had his hands at his neck, because there was noose tied around there extending from above. His other self had been watching in complete serenity like the hanged man, and only now did he tug at the noose around his neck trying to get free.  
  
Hinata just wished it to happen. He envied his other self, who could simply hang there, and sway back in forth in the breeze. That must have been why he had such a peaceful expression on his face. He did not have to deal with anything, he did not have to deal with anyone, he simply hung in suspension feeling nothing at all but the breeze. Hinata truly wished for that, and the moment he did they switched places.  
  
He felt himself being lifted out of his body, and the last thing he could remember was the feeling of the floor disappearing underneath his feet. Ultimate Serenity, that feeling Komaeda claimed to feel around him, Hinata was finally able to feel it giving everything up. Then, his jagged hair antannae fell loose and floppy in front of his eyes, his eyes glowed red, and Izuru Kamukura woke up. It was no something as dramatic as waking though, as Kamukura had been awake all along, he merely had finally accepted that fact.  
  
After a brief conversation he looked at Komaeda. He had died, just like Chiaki did. Even though he had included them in this game to hedge his bets on the power of hope. “Hope or despair… neither one of them changed anything in the end, how boring…” He sighed emotion draining from his voice like paint bleeding off of a canvas.

With the exception of Enoshima and Kumagawa who had already been spoiled on the big endgame reveal (really what spoilsports, what massive reveal am I going to spring on them to break them in the final trial now? They’ve beat me to almost all of them. No fun, no fun), everybody else in the room was too fixated on Komaeda’s corpse to notice the change. Everybody but Ikusaba Mukuro, who could not help hear a certain familiar ring with the way that Hinata said “Boring” in that moment. It sounded just like her sister. As she turned her head back no longer looking at Kumagawa who she had hit over and over again to vent her frustration but still sitting her weight on his chest, she saw red eyes looking back at her. The same red eyes her sister had when she was young, and when she ran around freely as Ryoko without contacts in her eyes.

Beforre she could say anything though, she stood up and got off Kumagawa’s chest and they all convened and decided as a group how to divvy up investigation roles. The sound of the body alarm had finally stopped playing on repeat over the speakers, reminding them they were playing on limited time and there would be a trial soon. Pekoyama and the others looked to Hinata, who usually took a leadership role right around this time, but he refused to meet their eyes gazing away with disinterest.

“Investigating that woman’s handiwork would be too tedious, do it yourselves.”  
  
It was Mukuro who once again, noticed how different he sounded. “Umm… Don’t you want to be useful to others? To catch Komaeda’s killer?”

“Why don’t you all try being useful for once? All of you are loved by talent, but you have such boring singular talents, and it’s led to your single mindedness. One would think somebody who specializes in killing like you do would have been more useful in the murder trials so far…”  
  
“Wow, you’re talking like Nagito-chan now, is that like a grief thing or…”  
  
“...Don’t call him by -chan, that’s such a bothersome nickname.” Hinata finally stood up, and grabbed Kuagawa Misogi by the back of his collar, easily dead lifting him off the ground. “He was found with the body, so you’ll all assume he’s the prime suspect. I won’t investigate, but I’ll watch over this one.”

It was decided with all of them gathered. Kumagawa Misogi would be watched by Hajime Hinata alone. While they all could pair up to investigate however they wanted. However,perhaps  because there were so few of them left, they barely paired up at all. Everybody else wandered off on their own.  
  
Ikusaba Mukuro thought it was a bit odd, but the death of Komaeda after barely saving him a few days ago as bound to be a shock. A fresh shot of despair, as Junko would say. Though the method was different, Junko would never rely on a false hope to intensify despair, she never left any room for hope at all she cut it off at the knees. That was how much she despised hope.  
  
Mukuro realized with a moment of shock that even after all this time, she understood how her sister thought a little too well. They were both despair sisters after all, who threw everybody else and each other into despair. Even if she was trying to be different she could not deny the seventeen years of despair previous to this that led her to this point.  
  
So, when she saw her sister sneak away from everybody else. She could not leave her alone.

  
  
 ♛

 

Kumagawa Misogi and Hinata Hajime, no Izuru Kamukura.  
  
A protagonist and an antagonist. In other words, natural enemies. Despite the obvious tension between them though, Kumagawa kept on smiling oblivious to it all. Kamukura could not bring himself to frown or smile, his lips stayed slack and the muscles behind the skin of his face stayed unused as ever.

Unlike Kumagawa, Kamukura quite enjoyed silence. He wanted to keep the air between them as blank as possible, but of course Kumagawa had to speak up.

『Is there a reason you wanted me alone? Are we finally going to become friends bonded by mutual trauma?』  
  
“That is not how friendship works,” He said, immediately cutting the notion down.

『Yes, because you would be the expert on that.』

“...”

『Is there something you want to talk about Izuru-chan? You can tell me, I’ll bear all your negative emotions for you. Actually, I don’t know why you even bothered to wake up. You’re all excited now, did something good happen?』    
  
Kumagawa Misogi was rather good at playing the fool. If that was a worthwhile talent, he would definitely be considered the Ultimate in that aspect. Even though he had just been standing in Komaeda’s body, and his blood was still fresh on his face, he kept on smiling and prodding at Kamukura like nothing happened.  
  
Not that Kamukura was riled up by this. There was no trace of Komaeda left in that body, there was nothing at all, whatever it was he could have felt for that body was long gone now. There was nothing beautiful about a corpse, he and his other self agreed on this at least, and only this. Besides, there was no way that his long endeavored quest to feel would be fulfilled by Kumagawa’s simple and foolish attempts to rile him up. If anything all he felt was an odd sense of irony, Kumagawa was loved by many talents, he was clever and good at survival like a rat, and yet none of those talents would ever be considered worthwhile or recognized by others. As much as he sharpened his claws and fangs, at the end of the day he remained a rat.  
  
Kamukura wanted to remind him of that fact at least. That was worth expending the considerable energy, manipulating his facial muscles and plucking his vocal chords to talk. “There’s nothing you can do to help Junko.”

『How do you know?』  
  
“Because I know everything. I know everything, and in comparison you’re not even wise enough to realize you know nothing.”

『Hmm? I already know I’m dumb, what are you talking about?』  
  
“That’s just a mask you wear. You pretend that you think of yourself as foolish, but really you always assume that you’re much more capable than you truly are. You assume that you can do something for others.”

『Oooh, are you doing the tear me apart with words thing? Those scenes are always so fun.』  
  
“See, even now you pretend to be savvy. It’s worthless trying to tear you apart, you’re already in pieces just barely stitched together. I’m merely remarking with a passive observation. If you truly understood what you were, you would do nothing. Yet, you still try to be of use, even to that woman whose only talent is using people you think you can be special.”  
  
『Is that what you think? That’s really pessimistic you know, I thought you were supposed to be on the side of hope. It’s odd when a gloomy guy like me sounds more optimistic than you.』

  
“I am neither hope nor despair and nor are you. But you’re teetering on the edge right now, I can see it, and when you fall off just like Komaeda did I can already see her licking her lips preparing to devour you, but… you won’t taste like a thing to her.”

『If she’s going to eat me, then I should be by her side right? There’s no point in continuing this conversation any further, we’ve had it so many times..』 Kumagawa said, standing up fully finally and walking past him.

As they brushed shoulder’s though, Kamukura turned his head around and locked his red eyes on the boy. “And what can you do to help her?”  
  
『I’m her friend.』  
  
“Friend? What a joke. You think so highly of yourself, compared to that girl whose only ever stood on top of others?  She has no need for friends. She’s free and uncontrollable, no cage could ever contain her, that’s what makes her so beautiful. All she needs are those who idolize her, and those that defy her so she can sharpen her claws against them. She doesn’t need anyone else. Especially not you, who can’t do anything for others. You didn’t realize that? That’s why you’re truly stupid.”

Kumagawa’s eyes sharpened suddenly, he pulled his lip tight biting at the corner.  
  
“What’s wrong? What’s with that face?”

『It’s always so cute when you become hostile to me, Izuru-chan. I must be so special to you, because you only show indifference to others.』

“...”

『Why are you putting so much effort into this… ah, could it be you’re jealous?』

“What a tedious emotion.”

『But, it’s an emotion nonetheless? Shouldn’t you be happy you’re feeling it? Or do you want to only feel pleasant emotions, picky, picky. You’re jealous, not only of Junko and I, but Nagito-chan and I too.』  
  
“Don’t call him by that nickname.”

『Oh, you used a contraction. You really must be mad!  I think the nicknames I come up with are cute, KamuKamu.』    
“Absolutely terrible.”

『You’re no fun, just like JunJun, and MukuMuku.』  
  
“You are just repeating syllables, that is not even remotely creative.”

『Nagito-chan and I are like yin and yang you know. The  dark swirl fo the yin, and the light swirl of the yang, they both contain parts of each other. We both had to suffer so much and became weak in order to survive, but the methods we chose and the ideals we followed were different. Nagito-chan envied the pure white, an existence where he never confronted anything. I envied the pitch black, an existence where I confronted everything over and over again and was wounded as I wounded others. Yet, neither of us were able to ever commit all the way, because unlike you and Ensohima-san we lack self control. So, we always carried a part the other, Nagito-chan’s heart was pitch black, and mine was pure white. That’s why we could understand each other, better than you could understand him.』

“You understood him so well that you killed him?”

『Yep! That was what he wanted after all. You should know this too, if you want to truly hurt someone, give them exactly what they want.』

“...”

『After all, didn’t you get what you wanted? Your many talents which make you such a special existence, you got this death game where you got to be the protagonist and I was cast as the villain, you got to use Junko as you pleased. Everything you wanted, and it’s tormenting you.』  
  
“Be quiet. I am not using her, I am doing her a favor. I am far more use to her than you ever will be.”

『Oh, I get it. You’re jealous of Junko too. You don’t understand her either, just like you never once understood Nagito-chan.』

“The idea of you understanding her is laughable. I am the closest one to her existence.I am the only one who has her eyes, I am the only one who can gaze at and see the same horizon with her.”  

『Yet, you don’t understand her.』  
  
“It is just because of you. All you ever exist to do is confuse things. Once you are gone, I will understand her. Her heart is empty anyway, and all people are the same, so it should not matter whether you or I are standing there.”

『Are we fighting over Junko’s heart now? You shouldn’t make that kind of declaration, it’ll go straight to her head. 』

 

 ♛

  
  
Enoshima Junko, and Ikusaba Mukuro.  
Despair sisters, those who once plotted together to paint the entire world in despair. Despite the fact that they worked together like a well oiled machine, each of them having complementary aspects, the rough hued and military minded older sister, and the cute and unbearably cunning younger sister, they never once really got along as real sisters.  
  
They only knew how to be despair sisters among one another. Despair sisters never talked, and yet they were talking now once again.  
  
“What did you do to MIsogi-chan?” Ikusaba Mukuro had demanded, the moment she cornered her sister.  
  
“Hmmm, you don’t know what’s going on with him? Shouldn’t he be your brother after all? What happened to that family bond and understand you were bragging about…?”  
  
“I don’t know anything. You’re the one who should know.”  
  
At this admission, Enoshima Junko smiled. “I know everything. There’s nothing I don’t know.”

“Then tell me.”  
  
“Dun wanna.” Junko stuck her tongue out at her sister.  
  
“Ugh, you’re such a brat. You did something you obviously did something, you’re the one whose always doing things.”

“You should know, since you’re the one who understands me best. I never do anything, everyone else does everything I need for me. This time, just like all the others I didn’t have to do anything as well. That’s why it’s so useless to make me a participant in a killing game, I should have been the mastermind.”  
  
“Are you still pouting over that Junko? You could get over it, we’re only almost finished with the game.”

“You can’t make me. I’ll hold a grudge about it forever. I’ll die with this despair poisoning my heart.”  
  
“Ugh, such a brat…” Even so, Ikusaba even confronting her sister had not raised a hand against her. Perhaps if she wanted to she knew several methods of torture, she could peel off her sister’s fingernails, or break her beautiful fingers but the thoughts never crossed her mind. She still could not bring herself to be violent against her sister, as it would solve nothing in her mind. It was the opposite of what she wanted, which was a relationship with her sister without violence, she was a girl who only knew about violence after all.  
  
Just then, as if reading her sister’s mind Enoshima Junko raised a hand to slap away ukuro. WIthout thinking, Ikusaba Mukuro grabbed her sister by the wrist. It was a reflex, just that. When she noticed she had been gripping her sister’s wrist and bending it far away enough to break it she immediately let go and recoiled taking a step back. “Junko… I couldn’t help blocking your attack, b-but there’s no way I can fight you Junko. Just quit it.”  
  
“That’s the first time you’ve ever stopped me from hitting you, but thne you had to go ruin it by saying something so boring.”  
  
“I… I don’t get what you’re after.”  
  
“Aren’t you supposed to be the only one who understands me?”  
  
“Understanding isn’t supposed to be one sided, it’s a two way street! You can’t expect others to make all the effort trying to understand you while you don’t lift a finger, ummm… even if I’m no good at working with others I still do my best to understand them. You’re just acting like a spoiled brat who wants everything given to them.”  
  
“So?”  
  
“But… things shouldn’t go with Misogi -chan the way you want them to. He’s not into despair like you are.”  
  
“Yes, that’s what I’ve always found so frustrating about him. He’s rather like that older sister of his Ajimu-san, in that he teeters haphazardly between hope and despair. He’s just as equally able to inspire hope as he is to drag others down into despair but… that got me thinking, what exactly would he look like if he was painted all the way in despair.”  
  
“You… you don’t want to see that at all! Misogi-chan’s heart isn’t good because it’s pitch black, but because it’s grey. I want him to stay that way.”  
  
“Why are you so convinced I did something to him anyway?”  
  
“Misogi-chan doesn’t really ever start things with others. He’s only capable of reflecting back what others have done onto him first. Making someone want to live, and then cruelly taking it away at last second it…then somebody must have to him...” Mukuro’s thoughts trailed off. “I...if you want to revel in your own despair that badly… Then, I’ll make sure you feel despair. I’m going to make Misogi-chan happy, and prevent you from filling his heart up with despair.”

  
“A battle for MIsogi’s heart?” Enoshima Junko tilted her head, smiling. “You shouldn’t say that around him, otherwise it’ll go straight to his head.”

  
Enoshima Junko suddenly shivered.  
  
“Huh, what’s wrong?” Mukuro asked, feeling residual concern for her sister.  
  
“I feel like I got called by a terrible nickname.”

 

 ♛

 

  
  
Ikusaba Mukuro had made such a bold declaration in front of her sister, but trying to investigate on her own she immediately felt dejected. Trying to interrogate her sister about her plans had revealed nothing as usual, because Junko told her nothing but what she needed to know. Mukuro felt foolish for all those years she had regarded herself as Junko’s closest confidante. As usual, the only thing Junko did was babble about despair philosophy rather than talking about anything concrete.  
  
She had walked back to investigate the body, but noticed it was gone. Kirigiri Kyoko spoke up before Mukuro could get too alarmed. “It’s fine, the body was just moved. It’s improper detective procedure, but Hinata insisted on it, and nobody could tell him otherwise.” As usual her voice was calm as ever, like a completely still stretch of water. Mukuro tried to be soothed by it.  
  
“Th-then, do we have the Monokuma file?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“This case is peculiar in many ways, first that Monokuma could not produce a file. He said Kumagawa-kun would not let him near the body to examine it.”  
  
“Oh, but there’s no way MIsogi-chan is the killer. Every time before this when it seemed obvious who the killer was, it was a subversion.”  
  
“That is true, but there’s one more oddity. Before the murder took place, two more rules were added to the school rule list, as if somebody was consulting with Monokuma. One a limit of two murders, and the second rule a rule stipulating that the body alarm will only go off if the witnesses who discover the body realize that it is dead. Which leads me to conclude that this murder might be a special one that attempts to manipulate the rules in the murdere’s favor.”  
  
Ikusbaa Mukuro turned around looking back at Kirigiri with a brightness in her eyes that was not usually present. “Wow, you figured out all of that right away? It’s like when Sherlock Holmes looks at a crime scene and deduces everything in an instant. You must know everything, Kirigiri.”  
  
“I don’t know everything, I only know what I know.”

  
“You responded to that in a way that wasn’t annoying too…” Mukuro said, thinking about her too confident sister.  
  
“Anyway, come investigate with me.”  
  
“Huh? You’ve never asked me that before. I… wouldn’t it be better if you investigated with someone else?”  
  
“I don’t want to investigate with anybody else, just you.” Kirigiri said, making her intentions quite clear. Unlike Mukuro she always seemed to say exactly what she wanted to say, a perfectly composed girl. A girl that was good for everything, unlike her who was only good for killing. “Besides, even though Sherlock Holmes is a genius most of his tales are written by John Watson so of course he seems magical. Somebody observing from the outside wouldn’t understand the connections Sherlock makes in his head, it’s like how they say any sufficiently advanced science is indistinguishable from magic.”  
  
“Umm… yeah, I guess you’re right. What a smart thing to say. You’re much more tolerable to be around than my sister, because you’re not constantly rubbing it in my face how smart you are.”  
  
“I’m better than Junko, high praise indeed.” Kirigiri seemed to be making a joke, but it was hard ot tell because she used sarcasm in the exact same tone of voice as everything else she said. “Besides, I don’t want to investigate this case alone. It’s a bit too noire to me.”  
  
“Noir? Like the genre?”  
  
“I’m surprised you know that, it’s not in the perview of what a soldier would know.”  
  
“I have interests besides my talent you know!” Mukuro said, almost whining at her. “I’m a girl that’s only good for killing, but that’s not the only thing I know about. I’ve like mystery stories like I was young. In fact it was the only interest that Junko and I both shared… I guess you can tell that by the construction of the killing game to be one big riff on mystery stories and a whodunnit.”  
  
“You’re getting better at speaking up for yourself, how nice… It’s odd watching you change.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“It’s nothing. I wasn’t talking about the genre though, noire, the french word. Pitch black. That’s how this case feels to me.”  
  
“Oh, if you’re scared I can hold your hand.”  
  
Kyoko increased her pace to make her rejection of that offer clear, walking ahead of the girl. “That’s unnecessary. Fear would get in the way of things so I don’t feel it. What I meant to say was, in the past I engaged in a series of cases known as Duel Noir. The objective was for the criminal planning ahead of time to design a perfect crime in order to challenge a detective and evade detective, it was observed by an outside party who provided funds and connections so they could witness it from a front row seat.”  
  
“Wow, that does sound like something Junko would do.”  
  
“Yes, your sister is not as unique of an artist as she seems to think she is.” Kyoko said, combing her fingers through her white with a hint of lilac hair in annoyance before flipping it behind her shoulders. “The duel noir cases always centered around the killer pursuing revenge for a murderer that had gotten away, they killed somebody who had killed a part of them in the past, they hurt as they were hurt at the same time. A pitch black existence, that’s what this reminds me of.”  
  
“Yes… I can see that. A lot of people misunderstand my sister, they think she feels nothing at all about hurting others but it’s the opposite, she hurts others because it makes her feel something. Her heart is quite normal, she feels ashamed of herself, she feels guilty, she feels self hatred for hurting everyone around her, but she gets hooked on those emotions because those are still feelings to her so she keeps on hurting others and herself. A pitch black existence like you said, but you in comparison you’re like pure white Kirigiri.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“You’re always helping others. Even now, you’re keeping a cool head when everybody was freaked out by another murder happening, in fact this is like something that happened to you in the past but you’re not even reeling from that. You’re like pure white, her complete opposite.”  
  
“I suppose so…” Kirigiriri said as she continued to walk forward.  
  
Conversation died down and the two of them finally had investigated thoroughly the whole factory, as well as the back room. Despite the fact that there had been several sightings of Komaeda in the red kimono before his death they could find no trace of him, except for a few Monokuma plushies which had been knocked down when Hinata had struggled against the masked assailant.  
  
**> Evidence Acquired**  
**> Signs of Hinata’s struggle.** **  
  
**

When they made it back to the room they investigated it thoroughly, even with Komaeda’s body absent. The room looked very different from how it did several days ago. The elaborate suicide he had set up was completely removed, and considering that he had gone to such lengths there was probably several trips back and forth that were involved in cleaning this room.  
  
Which meant this crime was planned several days in advance. Pre-meditated, as Kyoko suspected. Not only that but besides the blood stains on the floor, the entire room was clean. There was absolutely no signs of a struggle. It had either been wiped down beforehand. There were six knives in all, and they too entered his body without a struggle. Except in this case Komaeda could not have stabbed himself, they were all in his back. The last thing they found was a button from a uniform, though as of yet it was unidentifiable which uniform it came from.   
  
**> Evidence Acquired** **  
** **> Modified Crime Scene** **  
** **> No Signs of Struggle** **  
** **> Entry and Exit Wounds**  
**> Uniform Button  
** **  
** “There’s no way Komaeda could have stabbed himself, he would have had to devise some kind of kafka-esque device to do that…” Ikusaba Mukuro said, looking to the side.  
  
“Kafka? I don’t really read him, it seems pointless to me.”  
  
“The pointlessness is the point.”  
  
“Whatever…” Kirigiri said, before brushing her off.  
  
Ikusaba Mukuro laughed underneath her breath. “Did she just acquire an attitude right now? How cute…”

After that, the two of them collected testimony from everybody else. Of course, Enoshima and Kumagawa only gave confusing answers, Mukuro would have called them Kafka-esque but she did not want Kirigiri to pout again. They had to rely on testimony, because there was almost no physical evidence left at the scene.  
  
Then, something strange occured.  
Pekoyama, Kurokami, KIrigiri, and Hinata all had accounts of being attacked by Komaeda but the accounts differed each other.  
  
**> Acquired Testimony  
****> Pekoyama Testimony  
****> Kurokami Testimony  
****> Hinata Testimony  
**> **Kirigiri Testimony  
** > **Conflicting Testimony**  
  
When they were done interviewing Kurokami, Mukuro was the most unnerved. As the two of them walked to the final destination of their investigation, Kirigiri got curious about why the other girl was being so silent.  
  
“Well, isn’t she kind of creepy? I feel bad saying that about somebody Hitoyoshi-kun cared about a lot, because he was friends with Makoto and I, but there’s something not right about her. It’s a familiar feeling too…”  
  
“Howso?” It was natural fo a detective to be curious.  
  
“Well, it’s more how she used to be. It’s like she didn’t react to anything. If you never had to feel pain or know sadness, then you’d be free of stress and peform well whether in school or athletics, whether it’s ethics or morals. If you never had to feel the pressure of failing, or axiety over meeting a terrible fate. If you could ignore all pain whether physical or mental, you could be perfect all around. But yeah… that’s kind of boring.” Ikusbaa Mukuro tilted her head to the side the same way her sister always did. Kyoko noticed this and wondered if Ikusaba was imitating her sister, or they were just like, they were twins after all. “Yet, she was soeone who believed if others just worked harder they could be as succesful as she was. But that’s kind of unfair, sin’t it? After all, she never felt the constant suffering that everybody else was burdened with, the anxiety of living…”  
  
“The anxiety of living, what a philosophical statement.”  
  
“Hey, I can be philosophical too! It’d be weird if I didn’t pick it up after spending all that time listening to my sister rant.”  
  
“Really? Are you philosophical? Then what makes a flower beautiful.”  
  
“I mean, to be honest… whether or not a flower is pretty depends on the situation, right? It’s like… One lone flower on the battlefield, or you almost step on one but pull back at the last second. I’m not sure what that’s supposed to mean actually…”  
  
“Hehe…” Kirigiri said, and Mukuro realized too late the other girl had just been joking around.  
  
“Anyway, that’s what she used to be like. She’s changed since then, so I guess I’m being petty and holding a grudge.”  
  
“Yeah, you should be careful not to let grudges get in the way of things. Those things are better off let go of.”  
  
“I know, I know.”  
  
“But I have ot disagree, I feel like Kurokami Medaka was fine the way she was before. She was a lot more useful then, the colorless, stoic, Kurokami Medaka. The current one hesitates too much… and because of that a lot of despair has happened underneath her watch.” Kirigiri assessed all of this quite stoically as well.  
  
“..If you say so.” Ikusaba Mukruo said, but she could not get rid of her feeling of unease. “Well, she’s still cute when she’s around Zenkichi. They say a girl in love is different than a girl out of love do you think so?”  
  
“No comment.”  
  
“Oh, Kirigiri-san, is there anybody you like?”  
  
“No comment.”  
  
“Huh?” Ikusaba Mukuro then suddenly asked it, and Kirigiri realized why Mukuro was called a despair sister just like Junko despite possessing a timid personality and  not enjoying misery like her sister. She too, could be quite cruel. “Don’t you like Makoto?”

  
  
  
  
 ♛

 

When they finally made it to Junko’s cabin, Ikusaba Mukuro kicked the doors down. The sight that awaited them was horrifying, and therefore it was pretty much exactly what they had expected.  
  
There were severed heads, sitting in fish tanks all around them. However, these were the heads of previous murder victims or those who had been executed so it had little bearing on the current case. Even Ikusaba Mukuro who had seen countless corpses on the battlefield, stopped to stare for a moment at Hitoyshi Zenkichi’s floating head. “My sister really is the worst…” She thought out loud as Zenkichi’s line of sight floated away from her.  
  
“It’s not worth getting worked up about that, when we have other things to do.”  
  
The two of them working together to search the room, found several scripts which Junko had left out in the open. As well as a chair, and a pair of handcuffs loosely hanging off that chair. It did not take a detective to guess that Komaeda had probably been held here the hours before his death.  
  
**> Evidence Acquired** **  
** **> Chair and Handcuffs** **  
** **> Junko’s Room** **  
** **> Scripts ** **  
  
**

“Kirigiri, how did you become such a good detective anyway?”  
  
“I don’t know. Being a detective is simply what I do, it’s like breathing. I don’t think it’s a talent or anything, anybody who had been trained their whole life would probably end up as skilled as I am. It’s the same as you and your interest in being a soldier.”  
  
“Really? Do you think we’re similar.”  
  
“No, you’re quite a bit different from the you I knew a year ago. You smile more, and talk much more. Whereas, I feel exactly the same as I did in middle school, and even before that I feel the same as when I was an elementary schooler clutchin my grandpa’s hand at his side.”  
  
“Okay. Aren’t you little bit unnerved seeing a scene like this?”  
  
“What…? It’s nothing I haven’t seen before. I’m a detective who specializes in murders after all.”  
  
“Still, it’s a little bit weird how you’re able to keep your cool even at times like this. I know I was praising you before… but now it’s a bit weird to me.”  
  
“It’s not like I don’t have any emotions. I feel them just fine, it’s just they get in the way of things so I’m able to keep a cool head when I need to.”  
  
“You have that much self control, I see…’ Suddenly, Ikusaba Mukuro who had been following in Kirigiri’s shadow like a loyal but nervous dog this entire time changed her demeanor entirely. She rushed forward and grabbed Kirigiri by the neck lifting her into the air. Hands that had in the past taken several human lies, knew just how fragile a human neck was. So did Kirigiri who had watched several human lives be taken.  
  
“What are you doing, Ikusaba?”  
  
“Aren’t you afraid at all? I could kill you right now. Maybe I want to kill you to protect Junko from you.”  
  
“That would be a pretty illogical thing to do.”  
  
“Human beings are illogical by nature. Don’t you feel anything? Betrayal? Shock? Anger?”  
  
“Hmm, of ourse I feel all those things, isn’t it obvious? Can’t you tell I’m really scared about dying?” Kirigiri said, speaking in the same tone of voice as ever.  
  
“Seething fear, a rising sense of despair, the world’s losing it’s color, your heart frozen, come on show it to me…”  
  
But Kirigiri Kyoko surrendered no such emotion. Her feet did not even flail from missing the ground she was completely still. Kumagawa in situations like these always had a sort of confidene of _I’ve endured worse_ but Mukuro could not describe Kirigiri’s reaction as that. She did not utter a single peep, she just looked away from Ikusaba as if tired.  
  
She made it clear to her in that moment, the exact nature of the Utlimate Detective. The truth made Ikusaba Mukuro’s skin crawl. It was not that Kirigiri was devoid of emotion or personality and did not care. To her, every living thing existed in the same field. A detective must remain unbaised, a detective’s only ally was the truth, that was the word’s which her grandfather had raised her with. She was raised as a detective ifirst, and as a human being second, everything was second priority to being a detective. That was why she could look at everything objectively, equally, with no reaction, the sight which had driven Hinata and Kumagawa to the point of madness she barely gave a passing glance over with glazed over eyes. With a sense of values that went beyond the moral she looked at all living beings equally. She saw no distinction, there was only the truth. So she took things as they were, let her own curiosity run wild, the utlimate detective, a detective among detectives, a natural born detective.  
  
Except there was no such thin as a natural born anything in this world. Even Ikusaba Mukuro no longer believed that her sister had been born for despair, and she had been right next to Enoshima Junko at her birth and listened to her wail out in tears of despair.  
  
Her approach was instictintual and pue, pure white. _She’s not that different from the past me, that saw nothing in the world but my sister. The me who could do anything for my sister without hesitating._ _  
_ _  
_ With that, Mukuro let her down onto the floor. Kirigiri said in an emotinoless voice, “Oh, so you decided to let me live after all.”  
  
“I was never going to kill you.”  
  
“I see. Well there’s still a chance you could have still been loyal to Enoshima Junko so, I…”

“Isn’t that weird! Isn’t it weird that you still trust me even though I tried to kill you in the past? You barely reacted at all when I told you about  everything I did to the academy, I even tried to kill you and you didn’t mind.”  
  
“There was no point in getting upset about that.”  
  
“Yes there was! I did a lot of bad things! It’s not like when Makoto believes in people, he understands that it was risky to trust me but decided to trust me anyway. He's like a puppy that doesn't know better but you're supposed to be the smart one. It’s like you didn’t even look at what I did in the past.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“It’s like, you just accept everything that comes to you. Objectively. It’s important to have things you love, but it’s just as important to have things you hate, right? But you accept it all. You never show weakness, and that’s what makes you different from Makoto whose naivete is quite a weakness… But I wonder if that’s what you’re doing with me, and with Makoto too.”  
  
“...”  
  
“Kirigiri, do you really love Makoto? If you did, isn’t it odd that you don’t feel one bit of jealousy that he was snatched away from you.”  
  
“Jealousy is inconvenient, it would get in the way. An entirely unproductive emotion.”  
  
Did the investigation changed subjects?  
Did the investigation get derailed?  
Suddenly, she was the main culprit of this investigation.  
Ikusaba Mukuro who admittedly was a poor detective, was investigating her personally like she was a mystery.  
But, Kirigiri Kyoko believed herself to be straight forward. She always explained herself objectively to anybody who asked her, it was not like she hid things either she just did not talk about herself much in conversation. She did not think there was any mystery to herself.  
Simply put, she was a detective.  
Before she was alive, she was a detective.  
Yet, Ikusaba Mukuro was trying to ask her questions about how she had lived. Living, what was that even to a detective?  
Ikusaba Mukuro continued to stare into her eyes, but her way of speakin was flat, different than her usual emotionless way.  
  
“I think I understand now, the difference between you and Makoto. Why you two always needed to be around each other, you both fight for the sake of hope but it's different.”  
  
“What do you mean, you think you understand…”  
  
“Of course, I’m not annoying like my sister. I’m not going to claim to know more about you than you know yourself.”  
  
Kirigiri Kyoko grimaced.  
She had already been through that kind of annoying scene with Enoshima Junko.  
  
“You always pursue the truth without hesitation. Whereas, somebody like Makoto he hesitates, he wavers, he's awkward always stumbling. He’s actually really pathetic someitmes, like a main character who expects to get everything handed to him.”  
  
“Are you talking about the guy you love, right now?”  
  
“I think it's that patheticness that is the difference, that weakness. Makoto wears his weaknesses on his sleeve.  It’s extremely risky to do the right thing you know, others will take advantage of you, walk all over you, that happens to Makoto all the time and I think he knows it. If you were to live as deviously as my sister, nobody would ever be ale to touch you. You on the other hand, don’t understand any of that. No, I think you logically understand the risks, you just don’t think they’re worth worrying about. You can calmly give instructions to someone while tied up, you don’t blink at all at a dead body, when I was holding you by the neck you barely reacted. If you’re wearing the mask of a detective without emotions all the time, doesn’t the mask you’re wearing just become you at some point?”  
  
“...”  
  
Before, Mukuro had praised her for such a thing. Not only that, her grandfather, and the girl she considered an older sister praised her for her purity and dedication and lack of hesitation too.  
But at the moment she was not being praised.  
It was almost like Ikusaba was mad.  
Ikusaba who could barely rouse up any anger at her sister who had mistreated her for seventeen years, was mad in this moment.  
  
“I thought you had an amazing talent, that you were a pure and good person unlike me, but I don’t want to praise that anymore. It’s like you accept everything, the bad parts of people as well as the good. It’s only natural, because you’re a detective your profession exists because people are terrible and hurt each other so there’s no use in thinking about it. I know what it's like to become so overexposed to dead bodies you just don't think about it anymore. I think… that’s the way that Komaeda wanted to live, pure white, accepting everything, wanting to forget all the tragedy in his life and only focus on hope but he wasn’t able to control himself as well as you so he never quite achieved that. He was transparent to everyone around him… but you, what do you think of me?”  
  
“What do I think of you?”  
  
“I’m a pretty terrible person you know. I killed lots of people for my sister. I didn’t feel anything at all, I still barely feel anything when people die. I’m selfishly clinging to Makoto because he gives me hope, but I don’t think there’s anything I give him in return. But, you don’t think anything about it don’t you? You don't condemn me nor do you believe in me. You see me just as I am. That objective way of thinking, if you were Sherlock Holmes it would be amazing… but, as much as my sister never shuts up about literary tropes we’re not in a book.”

“When you put it that way…”  
  
Kirigiri Kyoko, who matched wits with Enoshima Junko found herself cornered, by her much stupider and duller sister. She could not argue back even if she wanted to.  
  
“You’re way better at controlling yourself than Komaeda is, you’re a detective who always looks at everything, but it’s more like you’ve mastered looking away too. That’s a paradox right? But a well maintained one. I don’t think it’s an enviable thing to be pure, it wasn’t good for my sister and it’s not good for you either. It’s that you’re too white, too pure and white…transparently so.”  
  
Transparent?  
Too pure?  
Kirigiri Kyoko could not even respond to those accusation. She changed the subject. “I’ve never seen you talk so much in your life.”  
  
“It’s because I’m concerned about you. I want to be your friend, and I’m not like Makoto who thinks those qualities of yours are a good thing that makes you like a hero to him. The real main character, where he’s just the heroine and the emotional support. I used to think all hope, or all despair was good but... I guess some people could see Makoto's existence of only ever hoping as warped too. It's probably better, to have a balance between the two. After meeting Misogi-chan I couldn't say that despair is worthless because it made him the person he was...” Mukuro finished with her speech, clapped her hands over her mouth. “Umm… but sorry, I think I said too much. I sound like Junko now…the part where she never shuts up.”  
  
Kirigiri wondered what wonderful things Ikusaba Mukuro would say were she not always silenced by her sister. She was right though, she was too pure, too white. That was why she had craved to be pitch black. As a detective one could say she was fatally attracted to noire.   
  
Still, despair sisters.   
Two sisters two different kinds of despair.   
The sisters that wanted to paint the whole world in despair.  
She had gotten lectured now, by not one but both of them.   
  
Not only did she not react that much to Ikusaba’s betrayal, she barely batted an eye at the fact Enoshima Junko her classmate was going to kill the rest of them. She did not feel the betrayal of a close friend stabbing her in the back.  
  
Because they were never really that close in the first place.  
  
Pure white or pitch black, neither one of them were enviable, but she could only flip haphazardly. Before their conversation could contine, Monokuma’s voice rang over the loudspeakers anouncing the time limit as up.  
  
When he did, Kirigiri Kyoko muttered under her breath so quiet the sound coming from the loudspeakers would easily muffle it out.  
  
“ _I’m sorry, Mukuro.”_  
  
She had not needed an assistant detective, not somebody like her who could be called the Ultimate Detective after all.  
  
She had just wanted the chance to say it. She was glad she got the chance, before this cruel game ended.


	49. Survival Strategy (9 - Destination x Of x Fate)

The best way to drive out the devil, if he will not yield to texts of scripture is to jeer at him. He cannot endure to be mocked.

  
That was how Kumagawa Misogi, a boy called the devil, but he was neither a demon, nor a god like Kamukura just human nothing more nothing less, that was how he had lived his life that was nothing more nothing less, until this point.

However, he had cackled too much. His throat was beginning to dry out, soon his voice would crack. Yet the devil in front of him continued to stare at him with red eyes. No matter how well he played the role of joker, Kamukura Izuru continued to look unamused.

  
He put a hand on his neck, and raked his nails over old scars. He needed to keep it together just a little bit longer.

 

“Going forward is pointless you know…” Kamukura said, his voice lacking in everything but especially amusement. “You won’t be able to keep it together.”

『Uwah, did I say that out loud? That was supposed to remain in the narration.』  
  
“You’re incomplete-”

 

『Aren’t we all? What a philosophical moment. I suppose only a talented elite you could discuss such deep philosophy.』

“Quit interrupting me, this isn’t a manzai routine.”

 

『Awe… but, isn’t one of your many talents the super high school level straight man?』

 

“...”

 

『Well, considering your thing with Komaeda, I guess we can’t really call you a straight man.』

 

“...”

 

『Fine, I’ll stop.』

  
“Mm. You’ve severed yourself from your shadow, peter pan. Without it, you’re incomplete. You won’t be able to grow up. There’s no point in going forward.”

 

『Nagito-chan is my shadow? You mean in a Jungian sense? Wouldn’t it make more sense that I was his shadow?』  
  
“...How did you know what that was. Even my other self did not know what Jungian symbolism was.”

 

『I tried playing persona 5 because there’s a cute character that looks like Junko, but I couldn’t get past the first dungeon so I just read the manga. Aha, I’m the alpha reserve course student!』

 

“You find the most petty things to brag about.”

 

『I’m the best at being petty! Besides, are you really much better? You won’t acknowledge your shadow at all.』

  
“I am my own shadow.”

 

『Well that’s not self absorbed at all. Typical elite thinking the world revolves around you. I wasn’t talking about you, you claim to be the one who knows her best but you never acknowledge her. If you don’t look at your shadow...』Kumagawa Misogi smiled speaking int a voice that did not sound like his for a moment. “She will get lonely.”

  
The same phrase he had hallucinated in conversations to himself time and time again. He could hear the words echoing through himself, as if the strings holding him up had just been plucked all at once.  
  
Kamukura despite being apparently all knowing, and loved by many talents looked confused at the other boy for a moment. Enoshima Junko and Kamukura Izuru both misunderstood that boy despite possessing super high school level analysis a single glitch in their all encompassing predictions, a blind spot, but for different reasons. Enoshima Junko because she did not understand Kumagawa, and Kamukura because he did not understand himself and therefore could not look at himself, nor Kumagawa. Therefore he could not get what the other was insinuating, he looked away.  
  
And because he looked away for a moment he did not notice her. “Kamukura-senpaiiiii! Give me a huggy, huggy!” If she had not loudly announced her presence, Kamukura would not have been easily able to sidestep her attempt to grab him from behind. She stumbled past him grasping he hands around the empty air, then slipped on her heels for a moment before Kumagawa rushed to catch her. Of course, the only gratitude he got for such an action was her one hand covered in fake nails digging into the side of his face and pushing him away.

 

『Junko, it’s not nice to try to hug other guys in front of your boyfriend, you know.』Kumagawa said, puffing his cheeks out in jealousy.  
  
“Can you blame me? Look at him! He’s the entire package, literally!”

 

『 Tch, what’s so great about him?』

 

“Well, look how thicc he is.”

 

『Thick?』  
  
“No, thicc…”

 

『That joke doesn’t work in verbal conversation!』

 While all this light hearted banter went on, Komaeda's corpse was still in the room with them. He could not participate sadly, due to being dead. 

“He’s got such wide, broad shoulders and such a prominent waste, and his chest sticks out too. I much prefer that MIsogi who’s so skinny I can feel their bones through their skin, I definitely don’t like how perfectly my hands fit around a skinny guy’s waist, or feeling the shape of his collar bone.”

 

『...』

  
“He’s so tall too! Unlike Misogi whose just my height, so when I want to lean my head against his shoulder it fits naturally there, and I can just as easily tilt my head to the side and kiss the corner of his mouth.”

 

『...』

 

“He’s so tall, dark, and emo too. You know what’s real chemistry, two people sitting around complaining about how bored they are together. Who needs somebody like Misogi whose actually fun to talk to. That long hair too… I can totally run my fingers through it. I bet Kamukura-senpai, and unlike MIsogi he won’t make fun faces when I pull on his hair, but that’s what I love somebody whose face is apathetic as mine is.”

 

『 Should I grow my hair longer is that what you’re saying?』

  
“Well, I see interrupting the two of you is pointless…” Kamukura sighed, as he turned his head to walk away. “Keep clinging to her, Kumagawa. Be weighted down by her, drown with her and die.”  
  
“Whaaaaat? We can totally make this a three way if you want, Kamukura-senpai! I’d be down for it!”

 

『 Junko, please!』Kumagawa said, finally flustering behind her. His position as the most perverted member among the cast was being threatened by Junko once again. 『You can’t leave this scene yet, Izuru-chan. You finally said my name, now you gotta yell it out dramatically like we’re shonen rivals. Izuuuuuruuuuu-chaaaaaaaan.』

 

“...”  Kamukura did not turn his head.

『Izuru-chan is no fun.』  
  
“Excuse you!” Junko said, digging her claws into the side of his face again. “Kamukura-senpai is the most fun. He probably just never saw the kind of anime where two characters yell each other’s name, he needs an example. Teeeettssuuuuooooooo!”

 

『Kaneeeeeeeeeedaaaaaaaa!』  
  
“Sassssuuuuuuuuuuuuukkkkkeee!”

 

『Naaaaaaruuuuuuutooooooo!』  
  
“Inuuuuuuuyaaaaassshhhaaaaa!”

『Kaaaagoooooooomeeeeeeee!』  
  
“Suuuuuuuuuzaaaaaaakuuuuuu.”

『Leeeeeeloooooooooucccchhh!』After that, Kumagawa looked up to see that Kamukura had already left the room, he had not turned his head around once and left dragging Komaeda's body with him.『Hmmm, do you think maybe this is kind of nerdy? The cool Kamukura-senpai ditched us nerds to be alone.』

  
“It’s only nerdy when everybody else does it, it’s cool when I do it.”

 

『 What misplaced self confidence, she has!』Kumagawa quipped quickly, competing with Kamukura for the title of Super High School Level Straight Man. Then, he put a finger on his cheek and tilted his head back. 『 Wait, Junko why did you come over here anyway?』

  
“Oh, shit I was having so much fun talking I totes forgot.”  Enoshima Junko’s entire expression and demeanor changed as quickly as it always did. Kumagawa who was used to being thrown around at her whim by now however, was used to the whip lash as well. “Soooo, liiiiike just making sure if we actually do leave this game for the real world will all fiction actually be able to revive anybody?”

『Hmm, you came all the way to ask me that? Here I thought you actually wanted to spend some time with me and say goodbye before what could be the final trial.』  
  
“Haha, idiot. So you thought. Besides, being separated without saying goodbye is a way more despair filled option.”

 

『Couldn’t you just ask Ajimu-san, that?』

“Ah yes, because that’s what Ajimu-san does. Give straight forward answers. That’s what her character archetype has been all along, not some other kind of annoying character archetpye that can never be helpful or straightforward.”

 

『As somebody who shares her archetype, you shouldn’t speak so badly of her Junko. It makes me sad to hear you insult yourself like that.』

 

“Anyway, I tried asking her about it earlier but she just kept talking about Doraemon, which is totally irrelevant.”

 

『Doraemon? Hey, wait you totally ignored my insult! You can’t just start and stop the banter at your convenience.』  
  
“The entire world exists for my convenience.”

 

『What misplaced self confidence, she has!』

  
“You already said that, idiot! You better not start repeating yourself… if talking with you gets boring I won’t have anything left, understand? You’re the only thing I have that’s interesting.” Enosihma Junko’s tone suddenly dropped, and her eyes that were filled with energy looked to be pale shadows as Misogi’s image came to reflect in the empty pits of her eyes.  
  
“ _It’s relevant because she sounds like Doreamon.”_ _  
_ _  
_  
Kumagawa paused for a moment, realizing how close she had gotten. Slowly, over the course of their conversation she had drifted closer, and nearly centimeters away her body aligned with his. He looked down past her, to her shadow. 『You’re right, Ajimu-san. She totally does sound like Doraemon.』

  
“I do not sound like Doraemon!”  
  
“ _Junko-chan re you familiar with gadget that appears in an early Doraemon episode called the Dictator Switch?”_

 

『I’m not.』  
  
“I am.”

 

『Haha, nerd.』  
  
“No, I’m just being hip to pop culture that’s my thing!”

 

“ _Dictator switch. It’s a gadget that will erase someone you don’t like fro the world at the push of a button. Not kill them, but make them so that they ‘never existed’... so that person is even erased from the memories of people who knew them. That’s a little bit like All Fiction, isn’t it?”_

 

“Are you actually trying to explain, or are you just shoving in another Doraemon reference?” Junko said, stomping her heels hard on her shadow. Of course, because it was just a shadow nothing particularly bad happened. Well, maybe in the future something bad will happen from her rejection of her shadow, therefore all this talk of shadows could be… foreshadowing. Badumm, tssh!  
  
Enoshima Junko’s shadow grew a smile of it’s own, an empty mouth that distorted the shape of the shadow in response to her petty tantrum.

 

『Ah. Ajimu-san was actually giving you a hint to your question. I don’t really like that trickster mentor thing so I’ll just dumb it down though, no it won’t work.』  
  
“A hint?”

 

『Yeah, she was referring to something that happened in the past.』

 

“Hinata-senpai voice: In the past?”

 

『Whoa! That was a good Hinata impression, your voice actor could totally play multiple roles at once if she wanted to. Ah… yeah, remember the girl I told you about that committed apple suicide?』

  
“Apple suicide?”

 

『Yes, apple suicide. She was a girl who everything she touched rotted away, when she wrapped her hands around her own neck she rotted out from the inside, like a rotten apple core. The only way to save her was to make it so I had never met her before, undo her existence to me, it’s too bad she was such a cute girl too.』  
  
Enoshima Junko stared at the sadness hidden behind the surface on the water of his eyes, and was struck by the sudden urge to pluck those eyes out like jewels she could keep for herself. She settled for putting a hand possessively on the side of his face instead.

 

『She was actually rather important to things in the past, but because I undid such a major character nobody even remembers her. The timeline changed. That’s my point, if I undo somebody’s death right after it happens it’s not really a big deal but if it’s an important event in causality that I undo that happened far in the past a lot will change. It’s why Ajimu-san can look into what would have happened if I had not undid the tragedy, because it’s more like I made that entire timeline into nothing it was such a massive change.』

“So, what you’re saying is we’re doing time travel from now on?”

 

『No, no time travel! When has adding time travel to a story ever made it better! No time travel and no mind control, bad Junko! What I mean is, the way you cruelly designed this game you can’t progress forward without making sacrifices. A murderer and a victim die each round, and the survivors continue on without them. To undo those deaths would also mean undoing all the progress in this game and so it’ll be like we never escaped.』

  
“Hmmm, well. I’m glad the promises I made to get everybody to cooperate me were all big lies then, they can all fall into despair knowing that they betrayed all their friends and their morals for nothing. Upupupupu.”

 

『You really do have a bad personality… though, I’m not better I guess because I ended up falling for such a bad personality. I’m so clumsy, I have the worst luck really.』

 

“Oh, speaking of your misery…”

 

『Speaking of...』  
  
“Does this mean there’s a third girl that you fell for, that attempted suicide on you? I wonder why that is.”

 

『Well, it’s probably just the rule of threes. Things are more important when they happen in threes, that’s why there’s so many trios around us.』  
  
“Hey, MIsogi why don’t we have a trio? All good things come in threes, and I’m the best thing ever.”

 

『Junko, you shouldn’t have waited for all of our friends to die before you started wanting to make a trio.』

“All of your friends.”

 

『Oh, that’s right you don’t have any friends.』  
  
“Hey, shut up!”

 

As their banter calmed down Kumagawa leaned forward enough to finally make contact between the two of them, lightly touching his forehead against hers. It was a bit clumsy, and he bopped her head too hard at first but neither of them flinched from the slight pain. 『Junko, why did you come talk to me?』

  
“Ever since Komaeda died, you’ve had this look like you’re not even there, like you could disappear at any moment.”

 

『Izuru-chan said it would be better for everyone if I disappeared, you know.』

  
“Kamukura-senpai isn’t the one who decides that, I am…”

 

『Hey, Junko… When you were showing everybody those files you found in the Final Dead Room, why didn’t you show them the information about the future foundation, or the claim that I was an AI?』  
  
“I’m the only one who gets to decide whether you’re real or not, the mastermind, or the future foun-dork-tion can’t decide that, because you’re mine you know…So I just crumpled it up and threw it away.”

 

『Ah...』

 

Kumagawa passively let Junko wash all over him. Her hands traveled up from the side of his face to his hair, which she pulled on with with her one fake hand, as her real one dug fake nails into the flesh of his scalp. Her fingers tightened and tightened, almost as if she wanted to confirm that he was real, that he was not something that would disappear between her finger tips when she reached out to rasp him, when she embraced him too tightly, a hologram, an image, a projection.

  
Kumagawa had never seen Enoshima Junko act like this, like she was clinging to something. It was usually the other way around, she was the perfect marble statue which others clung to her feet and pronounced adoration for her. He was too shocked to say anything, whatever joke he was about to make died in his throat as he gave a breathless gasp and stumbled backwards. They might have both fallen back, if he was not caught by the wall. Still, even after he stopped Junko continued falling just a little bit as if she wanted to fall into him. He wished he could mistake her hands wrapping around him for an embrace, but at the back of his mind he knew the pessimistic voice in his head ruining any chance he had for romanticism. She was simply being possessive again.  
  
Yet, Enoshima Junko had never needed to desire for anything before, never worried she might not get exactly what she wanted. Which is why as tightly as she held onto him, as overwhelming as she was as usual, as her chest rested against his he could detect a slight trembling in her body. Her fingers too, shook and then dug deeper into him. Her fingers knotted even deeper into his hair, as if to reassure herself that he was still there. She leaned her head against the crook of his neck, and listened to the sounds of him breathing, the rise and fall of his chest as it rested against hers. For once, for just this once she was glad she could not help but take in every detail, every twitch of his face, every tremble of his body, the way his pupils shook whenever she got this close, every sound he made, she was glad she could observe so much of him because she wanted to own him, every last detail of him. She wanted to know all of him, that was how deep her possessiveness went, and it had been building this entire conversation as the two of them laughed about carefree things and continued to talk about nothing in particular, like they were not both standing on the edge of a cliff.  
  
But perhaps that was normal for them, both of them were always standing on the edge of a cliff, dancing on the very edge of a rooftop of a building and occasionally one dipped the other down low enough that they could see the dried blood splattered on the street’s below from everybody else who had falled off on the delicate edge they were now choosing to stand on. She had always been on the edge, so she didn’t really think about it, not until now, how quickly things could fall away from her when she did not want them to. She only wanted it to happen when she wanted it, after all.  
  
So, she pressed her face against his, because the warmth of his cheeks, the rosy tint of his flesh that made him look so much alive compared to her, a perfect porcelain doll, a perfect imitation of a human being, those belonged to her as well. Then, eclipsing him, close enough that only the two of them would hear it, a secret kept from even her shadow, she whispered again and again, voice overflowing with affection to the point of madness. “Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.”

 

『Ah… how unlike you.』  
  
“I was thinking lately, that people might simply disappear. They can just go away. Without drama, without fanfare. That’s so boring don’t you think?”

 

『What a petty problem you expect me to comfort you over.』  
  
“I’m a petty person you know, so petty I’m barely a person. It’s better to violently kill them, to rip them away from you, I won’t feel any despair if I’m just left alone. I won’t feel the despair of losing a loved one that way, unless I’m the one smothering them in my own hands. Why do you even want to go to the real world, what if you just get tired of me there’s no reason for you to stick around, after all this world is…”

 

『No. Once upon a time, I too harbored the same feelings as you. I believed this world is nothing but loss. No, to me the world is like a dark night that swallows everything, but since you came into my life and ou were so kind to find me. I don’t need friends, or talent, I only need you, Junko. You see, meeting others is what causes your world to change, it can be different than a world of constant loss.』

“...I don’t get it who wants to be around someone always trying to kill them anyway I can’t see why you’d…”

 

『I don’t mind. If you want to kill me, to devour me, to do whatever, feel free to keep coming after me. If that’s what you want then do it, but I want to live.  The next time we meet in the real world, don’t hesitate to come kill me. If that is the proof of your love, I’ll survive, to prove my love to you all the more.』

“There’s no way you can accept it that easily.”

 

『I can, I can. You just overthink things. You have your way of thinking, and I have my way of thinking, but we can still get along. I don’t care how much you bother me, special offer, because I’m your friend.』

“Hey, Misogi. Since when did you start looking so grown up?” She said, finally drawing back to look him in the eye. For the first time, his watery existence did not seem so hard to grasp for her.

 

『I’ve just had a lot of times to think things over in this fake world.』  
  
“Yeah, we’ve spent so long in here I’m starting to get bored of it. Even thouh killing games are the best thing ever.”

 

『Escape games are more fun, like zero escape. Soebody just doesn’t want to admit she’s wrong and shehyped up killing games too much.』  
  
“Huh? Weird, is that the sound of a river in the distance? I can’t hear anything but that faint sound.”

 

『No, I’m not that kind of -Gawa, I’m just a river in metaphor.』  
  
“A bear river!”

 

『Yeah, a bear river. All the bears can come swim in me.』

“No, I just said you’re mine. I’m not sharing my prey with anyone else. I won’t even let Monokuma-sensei have you, and he’s the best bear of them all, unbearably cute.”

 

『Calling me prey makes your intentions kind of too obvious.』

“But still... What if we get to the real world and it’s just as boring as this one is?”

 

『Are you still worried about that? Hey, I promise we’ll escape to the real world together, and we’ll have lots and lots of fun! Even if it ends in tragedy, it’ll be fun, I just know it.』With that, Kumagawa leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers. Junko had been so focused on observing the details of his eyes, and trying to catch the tremors of the waves in his dark blues that she did not see how close he had gotten until it was too late. Once again by him, always by him, she was surprised. It only showed on her mostly neutral face in a slight widening of her eyes, and a twitching of her lips into a smile. She simply smiled without thinking she needed to smile in this sort of scene, without slipping on a comedian’s mask, how novel.  
  
When he pulled away, she continued to blink perplexed. “Why did you do that?”

 

『Am I not allowed to kiss you?』  
  
“Uh, well I can kiss you… but you can’t kiss me you know. Th-there’s a difference.”

 

『So fussy.』Kumagawa said as he turned around and let go of her. As he did, she suddenly felt the weight disappear beneath her feet and stumbled forward. She caught herself by reaching out to his back. 『Huh?』  
  
“Hey, hey, carry me!”

 

『Junko we’re going to a murder trial this really isn’t the time-』

  
“Don’t care, carry me!”

 

Kumagawa sighed. 『You’re such a princess.』

  
“And you’re a failure of a knight”

 

Enoshima Junko wrapped her ankles around his waist, her boots pressing into him. Happily, she giggled as she loosely hung off of him, Kumagawa having to adjust to fit her needs as she had so recklessly jumped onto his back. He moved his hands low to catch the lower parts of her legs. She rested her chin on top of his shoulder as a show of dominance naturally.  
  
“Really, what a ridiculous thing to say. You were so kind as to meet me. You always say the strangest things.”

 

『I can’t help but think that way, because I like this story where we met.』

  
The two of them continued to talk, until even they noticed that their conversation had dragged on for too long. Though, neither of them could quite place the reason why. Why they kept talking, why they were afraid to stop, why they could not. Neither of them understood, because it was impossible to understand something you had never experienced before, that was true for both a genius and an idiot.

  
Simply put they did not know, neither of them knew how to say goodbye. Whether or not they said it, whether or not they had said enough, the trial started regardless, just as it always did.

 

 ♛

  
“Well then, now that chatterbox Nagito is gone there are only six of you left!” Monokuma said from his throne.  
  
“Enough… just start this already.” In a dull voice, Izuru  said and then looked away with disinterest.  
  
“I dunno why, but this has a certain sense of finality about it, like it’s meant to be the last class trial. There’s no countdown or anything, so it’s just a feeling I have. So…because I said so, you gotta show some enthusiasm and make sure you give it your all!”  
  
“You always talk too much. It’s so tedious.” Izuru cut him off.  
  
Monokuma was not dissuaded by Izuru, and shook his cute little pawsies on the throne. “The last class trial! Let’s show some enthusiasm and kill each other.”  
  
“...”  
  
“What’s wrong, you’re lacking your usual enthusiasm, Hinata! What happened to that young boy shonen protagonist eagerness you had! You were always like, woohoo! This time I’ll do something to make everyone love me.”  
  
“Woo hoo. Extra hoo…” Kamukura Izuru said a voice completely devoid of emotion. Even with super high school level analysis, Enoshima Junko could not quite tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

 

“Aren’t you supposed to start these things off? You’re really a half assed main character maybe I should have chosen somebody else…”  
  
“Do it yourself, the answer is obvious. I am already tired of trying to lead everyone else to the right conclusion.”  
  
“Huh? Why do you sound like Junko all of a sudden? ‘I figured everything out so I’m not going to tell you all’... “ Mukuro said, changing her voice up and octave into the Enoshima Junko impression that her sister had forced her to learn, but after the episode with Matsuda she really only ever used behind her sister’s back to mock her with.

  
  
“It’s fine, if he’s not going to cooperate then just leave him be.” Kirigiri said speaking up above Mukuro. “I’ll start things off this time, I’ve been igoring my duty as the ultimate detective for far too long just because I didn’t have Naegi-kun to speak to the rest for me. The curtain is about to rise, Nagito Komaeda is dead. He seems like a nice guy, comes across as very sociable, but his true nature is distorted… his demented thought process is nothing like the mask he wears. He said he’d help despair along, in order to create a powerful hope which would never lose to despair, and would become a stepping stone for that hope. A way of thinking completely screwed up, even moreso than Kumagawa-kun.”

 

『 Awe, I lost again. But screws are supposed to be my thing.』

  
“Someone like him was killed. A detective can only solve crimes once they’ve been committed. There’s no way we can end this without knowing, moving forward and looking directly ahead is the only logical option when the other one is being consumed by despair. The truth is our only ally, it keeps us alive. So, the life threatening trial billowing with hope and despair-”

 

“Man too bad Nagito kicked the bucket, he would tooootally be all over that eulogy you’re giving him right now.”  
  
“Enoshima-san, quit interrupting. Especially when you’re the primary suspect as usual. Learn to read the room for once.”  
  
“Ah, yep, I’m reading, I’m reading, but all I see is the word ‘loser’ written a bunch of times on a piece of paper.”  
  
“Continuing on…”  
  
“Yeah, the trial has started this isn’t the time for cheeky commentary. Don’t you have any respect for the dead? If you keep making jokes, you’re going to ruin the misery for everybody else. Nagito’s dead you know. He’s dead just after his life was saved from a thwarted suicide attempt and that’s very sad, be sad about it. But still, who in the world killed him? I’m soooo curious.”

  
“You shut up too!” Kirigiri said, speaking over Monokuma. “As I was saying, Nagito pulled that stunt to root out the traitor. His death, and the secret of the traitor are obviously connected-”

『Oh, Nagito-chan is the traitor.』

  
“What.” Kirigiri said in a flat voice.

 

『The traitor is the one who cooperated with the mastermind to lock us all in here. I bet you were expecting some kind of twist like the traitor was somebody who was actually on the side of the good guys all along, but this time the twist is that there is no twist it’s completely straight forward. Nagito-chan locked all of his friends in this killing game, and then worked with the mastermind to start the killing game, while playing the game with all of us. The same role my cute little Mukuro-chan would have played to Junko in the original game.』

 

“How… how are you going to prove that…”

 

『 What? Was that a twist I was supposed to save until the end? Well, whatever. I have proof.』Kumagawa said as he lifted a hand up above the podium. It was not his own hand however, but rather the hand attached to the arm, attached to the body of Komaeda Nagito. 『 This hand...』  
  
“Why do you still have his body?”

 

『 You have to know as a detective, Conan-chan. Never turn your back on the body.』

 

“I feel like you’re quoting something at me and it makes me vaguely angry.”

 

『Good, anger is my second favorite response from people, right after hatred. Now look at this hand in comparison to the other, in fact let me get this off...』Kumagawa wiped away at the back of his hand with a wash cloth he retrieved from his suit pocket. There was cover up on one of the corpses’ hands. Once it peeled away it looked even more deathly than Komaeda’s usual color, it almost looked like the hand was rotting away. 『This is Enoshima Junko’s hand, sewn to his body. He’s been using cover up to mask it all along. The same way Fuyu-chan had Junko’s eye in his socket, covered up with an eyepatch. The fact that he has it attached to his body proves he was still a worshipper of despair.』

  
“Huh? That makes no sense. Junko, didn’t cut her hand off until the second round, and she never lost an eye. It’s absurd. He wouldn’t have been able to move around that hand like it was his own, that makes no sense by the laws of theis world.”

 

『Yes, this whole world is quite absurd, kafkaeseque, the senseless is the only thing that makes sense, but it’ll become clear by the end of the trial.』

  
“You don’t even have a motive.”

 

『To make hope shine, of course. As he would say, ‘Anything can be justified for the sake of hope, even falling to despair’.』

  
“...Yeah, that does sound like him.”

 

『Nagito-chan was the traitor. I think it’s best to go forward with that assumption. He was the only one who really cared about finding the traitor in the end, he tried to get the whole island hunting after them  but it was just him all along, I’m sure he was quite smug. Can we agree to go forward with that assumption?』  
  
“I totes agree! That’s me, agreeable and cooperative.”  
  
“I agree as well…” Kamukura finally spoke up.  
  
“Hinata-kun?” Ikusaba Mukuro questioned, but when she looked directly at him he said absolutely nothing more. In fact, he did not even look back at her, he seemed to be looking past her. She recognized the look in his eyes it was the same look of boredom his sister always carried.

 

『Ah, and Nagito-chan confessed it himself. It’s in this video here.』Kumagawa said, producing the video disc as evidence.  
  
“You could have coerced him into it.”

 

『Ah, yes because that’s what Nagito-chan does. What other people ask him to do. There’s no way he would, even under threat of torture.』  
  
“Why are you so adamant about making us believe he’s the traitor.”

 

『It’s the truth! I’m the ally to the truth, and I hate liars you know… and… If he is the traitor, then that means every single one of us here had a reason to kill him.』

  
At this, several gasps at once rang out between the seven remaining alive members.

 

“There’s no way I, Kurokami Medaka would ever resort to killing even if it was an enemy,’ Kurokai medaka said.  
  
“Nagito was no enemy of Hajime’s. I have no reason to cut him down,” Pekoyama said.  
  
“The detective was the killer all along, I hate those kind of new age twists.” Kirigiri said.  
  
“And I uh… killing bad…” Mukuro said, making the weakest attempt at defending herself, but in her defense she was put on the spot, and as a soldier negotiations and talking were her weakest points.  
  
“Maybe you’re trying to mislead us, if that’s such an important twist why are you revealing it so early?” Kirgiri said, still looking directly at the indiscernible Kumagawa Misogi. For someone so objective it was almost difficult to stare at Kumagawa Misogi, always directed by his emotions, his bias, and thus almost impossible for her to understand.

 

『Uh, because it doesn’t matter I guess. Well nothing matters technically but this especially doesn’t matter. Nagito-chan was the traitor, but he was still in the game with us by our side all along. He betrayed us because he wanted to help us, that’s very minus of him… ah, but it doesn’t matter. Whatever his motives are he died in the end. He actually wasn’t that relevant, there’s a bigger twist waiting ahead of us I’m sure.』

 

“Hinata-kun, is you’re going to do you’re ‘no, you’re wrong’ thing this would be a good time for it…” Kirigiri said, lookin back at Hinata Hajime, who simply looked away from her as well. She could not shake the feeling that despite the fact that Hinata was living and breathing, and close enough she could hear him breathe that he had died the moment Nagito did, and there was in fact nobody standing there at all. “Fine, let’s watch your video.”

 

The video itself was only an audio confession. A rambling attempt for Komaeda to justify himself.

 

“ _Um… I wonder whose listening to this message? Is it the traitor, oh haha that’s me! I guess I just lost, as Kumagawa-kun would say.  It’s not the hope I wanted, but that outcome doesn’t matter anymore. I mean, no matter what the outcome is, it doesn't matter for a dropout like me. Now then let’s put the meaningless introduction aside and get to business. You might be wondering why I did what I did? It was planned from the start actually, I was the vice president on Hitoyoshi-kun’s new student council so I was the only one who could convince him to join along with the others on this trip. Once Hitoyoshi-kun came, he was the center of your group so all the transfer students would come with him. I tricked you all into coming here more or less, and I knew about the killing game from the start, and I’m the one who started it after all. But it’s not like I wanted you all to die, I just knew that I couldn’t ever be the ally to hope or the person Hitoyoshi-kun wanted me to be so I decided to be a strong despair you all could overcome instead. Does that make sense? I hope it does. Gosh, this confession is going for too long. You all must be tired of hearing my voice already. I knew all along there was somebody who convinced me to start this game, and I’d tell you the identity of the mastermind if I could but I forgot about him. His name is missing from all of our memories, but there wa somebody else besides Ikusaba-san who collaborated with Enoshima-san to end hope’s peak high school. Kirigiri-san you should faintly remember investigating them. That’s the person I was working with, who I betrayed all of you for. Hahaha, I always looked down on Tsumiki-san, I said I was glad she was dead but I’m not much better am I? Well then, I’m finished. I don’t expect to live much longer beyond this message. I guess it’s time to anounce my motivation. I believe my actions will become the foundation of this world’s despair. And… if that really happens, scorn me. Tell others of the scars I left on the world. Erect a wooden statue of me and burn it. Disrespect me and laugh at my name. I am… hope’s greatest enemy, and hope’s greatest ally… I am everything, everything, everything….if you can’t love me then hate much me more passionately please! You guys… I didn’t mean it… I just wanted to everything for your sake… I just wanted everything from you… everything… everything...”_

 

His confession ended with that maddening rant.  
  
Kirigiri had become so offput she was pulling at her hair with her fingers, and did not notice until she flinched in pain. “Convenient… you just happened to have that CD.”

 

『I found it in his pocket.』  
  
“Kirigiri-san, stop eyeing Misogi-chan. Every single time there was an obvious frame job they didn’t turn out to the be killer. He always defended me in the trials when I was a suspect, so I’ll defend him if I need to. If Hinata-kun won’t be the clueless idiot main character that pieces the evidence together for everybody else, I’ll play that role to prove to you Misogi-chan didn’t do it.”  
  
“...Such sentimentality. It’s almost like Naegi-kun.” Kirigiri observed turning to her.

 

『No, it’s notthing like Makoto-chan, that’s Mukuro-chan’s stupidity shining brightly!』  
  
“Don’t bully me when I’m defending you!” Mukuro snapped back at him.

 

『 Sorry, sorry.』

  
“Awe, lookit big sis is trying to use her brain for the first time in her life. I guess as the brains in the despair sisters I gotta lend her a hand.”  
  
“Do you mean, you’re just going to play trickster mentor to me the entire time and lead me to the answer without directly saying it? Ugh, I hate when you do that. It’s like that scavenger hunt you made me do when we were five.”

 

『What’s so bad about a scavenger hunt?』  
  
“It ended in a fight to the death against several homeless people! I just wanted to find the present that Junko finally bought for me for the first time in my life, but at the end she told me the real present was the despair we found along the way.”  
  
“My stupid little sister doesn’t even want my help, that’s way too depressing even for me…” Junko said, growing mushrooms from her hair and brushing her fingers in between her blonde strands of hair.  
  
“Junko, you fall into despair way too easily. Moving on.” Mukuro said, looking to the center of the group once more.

 

『 Yes, let’s move on with the assumption that the twist is there is no clever twist, sometimes a cigar is just a metaphor for a dick.』

  
“Why must you make it so hard for me to defend you…” Mukuro sighed with Hinata’s trademark exasperation.

 

『The traitor was Nagito-chan, and therefore everybody present had a motivation to kill him.』

 

“Then… let’s move on. Why were you present at the scene of the crime when we discovered the body, Kumagawa?” Kurokami spoke up again, looking at her natural born rival from across the room.

 

『I just happened to get there first and find the body like that. It was already like that when I got there, I swear. I saw a knife and I picked it up, then I waited for everybody else to show up.』

 

“An obvious lie.” Kirigiri spoke up.  
  
“Wait, no, I believe him. There’s no reason to distrust one another.” Kurokami said, as she drew out her fan and spread it out over her face.  
  
“Kurokami-san, don’t go back on your character development! You’re supposed to learn to distrust people remember, what does Kumagawa-kun have to do wear a shirt that says I’m a liar?” Kirigiri said, looking back to the other girl.

 

『 I would never lie. I just told you I hate liars.』

 

“Wait, we have no evidence that contradicts Misogi-chan’s story yet. Let’s just go with what he said for now until something else contradicts it.” Mukuro said putting a gloved hand on the podium. “The way to expose a liar is to corner them in their lie, at least that’s what Junko would do.”  
  
“Awe, you’re taking my advice after all. How about this one then, isn’t the starting point obviously the red Kimono? I mean you guys are all such cuwute idiots, I just wanted to give you a helping hand. Well, if you still got the answer wrong after this and died, that’d be pretty cute too.” Junko said, holding her hands underneath her chin as she adopted her cute persona.  
  
“Right, the red kimono. He was the one who was found wearing it, so is Komaeda the one who attacked everybody else in the red Kimono?”  
  
“Yes, that seems clear.” Pekoyama said.  
  
“I can agree to this, though I would have preferred if he wanted to fight he do it head on instead of hiding behind a mask.” Kurokami said, looking a little bloodthirsty for another fight.  
  
“Then, we should have everybody recount how they were attacked, and what time it was at,” Mukuro said, leading the group on.

  
  
“I was the first one attacked. It was at six just as the sun was starting to set. I was on the fifth island, when from behind a masked figure attacked me by pulling a knife on me. In the fight I was cut on the arm, and only one of my arms remained functional. I was worried I would lose but then Hajime and Ikusaba-san both arrived and that scared him off.” Pekoyama recounted.  
  
“Then, just as the sun was setting I was also attacked in the food district. He pulled a knife at my neck, but I struggled with him in self defense and fought him off. However the fight itself got rough and even knocked me into a few food stands, and by the time Hajime and Ikusaba-san came I was beaten up and barely able to stand on my own after fending him off.” Kirigiri recounted.  
  
“I was on the fifth island, trying to look up communication records in the old computers in the factory. Then, I was attacked from behind and only barely managed to fight off my pursuer. I was taken by shock from a disturbing email I read and barely able to think of anything, until second year Hinata came and interrupted the fight.”  Medaka recounted.  
  
The only time Izuru Kamukura had looked up with any interest at all was when he heard Komaeda’s maddening voice playing. He sighed, and then recounted his own tale of being attacked as he felt the bare minimum level of cooperative. “I was walking on the opposite end of the Monokuma factory when I was attacked from behind as he appeared on the conveyor belts. We fought, and I stabbed him once then he retrieved his knife and retreated after that.”

 

“Then afterwards he was found tied to the ground in the back room, with six knives in his back and the only evidence found at the crime scene was a button, and the knife that Kumagawa-kun held, but how… There’s a way that your stories contradict each other…” Mukuro said, thinking aloud.  
  
Everybody was silent though, and Hinata continued to look away in disinterest. Therefore, Enoshima Junko decided to play the part of everybody who yelled out suggestions when they hit  stopping point like this and all started to debate at once.  
  
“It’s fucking obvious, how are you going to carry six knives in a kimono? Those things don’t have pockets duh!” Enoshima Junko said sticking her index, thumb and pinkies out on both hands while crossing them and sticking her tongue out.  
  
“No, the real inconsistency is the weapon used. There’s no way Komaeda-senpai would attempt such an improbable feat as an attack from behind when luck was his thing, he’d logically use a bouncy ball, or a revolver, and attacking with a knife only has a fifty percent fatality rate.” Junko said, pressing a pair of glasses on the bridge of her nose.

  
“Nay, Komaeda-senpai was never wearing the kimono in the first place. There’s no way a peasant could ever wear an outfit that we look so good in.” Junko put her hands on her hips and a crown on her head.

  
“Well, it doesn’t matter.” Junko said, assuming her villain stance holding two fingers to her forehead and framing her face with her thumb. “It’s all so useless, useless, useless. Come on, can’t you figure out what I’m trying to tell you? What a worthless twin you are, you can’t even access your twin telepathy. I thought it might be useful to have two of me, but you even disappointed me on that front, you could never become like me after all.”  
  
“God, would you shut up about twin telepathy and just learn to talk like a normal person Junko-wait!” Mukuro said, reaching the revelation as she realized the contradiction. “Both of those stories would require Komaeda to have been in two places at once, on opposite sides of the island. Pekoyama-san was far away from the red light ramen shop district, but Kirigiri says she was attacked at the same time just as the sun was setting, and Kurokami-san said she was attacked around the same time as Hinata-kun, but… he was on the opposite side of the factory as well and by that point Komaeda would have had to have run across the factory with a knife wound.”  
  
“Kirigiri-san isn’t lying. I saw Nagito run in her direction, he could have used a car to make it to her. He somehow rigged it so that the bomb was attached to a working car engine it’s possible he found another.” Pekoyama suddenly spoke up.  
  
“Pekoyama-san isn’t lying as well, her arm is still clealy wounded from the attack.” Kirigiri said, pointing out the bandage running down Pekoyama’s arm. She had been bandaged by Mukuro using her combat medic expertise. “Besides, she met up with us right away at the half way point to the factory there would have been no opportunity for her to commit the murder and sneak away. Well all discovered the body at the same time, the only one who wasn’t accounted for were Junko who disappeared and Kumagawa-kun who was with the body.”  
  
“I’m sure there’s a way first year Hinata and I could be both telling the truth. The factory probably has secret passageways to get around without being seen, the murderer could have taken advantage of those as well.” Kurokami Medaka said, closing her fan and tapping it against the podium.  
  
“But… we didn’t find anything like that…” Mukuro said.  
  
“That’s what makes them secret, they should be hard to find. Duh.”  
  
“Did you just duh me? Stop sounding like Junko it’s creepy.” Mukuro said, looking away from Kurokami. The moment she had found the contradiction everybody raced to cover for each other. It made no sense to her, and she could not perform a logic dive mini game to resolve it in her mind either as she was not a main character. Were they all too afraid to cast suspicion on one another? Had they finally discovered the power of friendship? Unlikely, Makoto was not here after all. Somebody had stuck six knives in Komaeda's back.   
  
Six.  
Six. Six. Six. Six. Six.  Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Stab. Stab. Stab. Stab. Stab. Stab. Six ties over. Mukuro’s mind immediately focused on the number as she hit a revelation. “I get it, so that’s why there were scripts in Junko’s cabin. I have another question for everybody, we all agreed to avoid the fifth island especially because we didn’t want a repeat of what happened on the fourth island so why… why did you all happen to be there when Komaeda went missing?”  
  
“...”  
  
“...”  
  
“...”

“...”  
  
“Elipses.” Junko said out loud, because she thought she was clever.  
  
“We can’t prove that any of you are lying in your accounts, but that’s how it was intended to be from the start, right? You intended to send us chasing after the mysterious person in the red Kimono as the killer, only to have it turn out to be Komaeda in a confusing twist, and confusing us further since we were all running down we can’t pin exactly his movements, but that’s all just a loud distraction… it’s a performance. If you think about it besides the mystery it should be obvious, Komaeda was super weak, not only was he on the brink of death before, but he survived a recent suicide attack and had cut up his legs. There’s no way he’d be able to run around the entire island in the first place, let alone overpower Pekoyama, Kirigiri-san, and Kurokami-san, the three strongest girls on the island and injure them. The simpler solution is that… you all were faking. Kirigiri pretended to be exhausted to separate me from Hinata-kun, Pekoyama cut herself with her own sword after all how could she lose in a sword fight against a weak boy with a knife, and Kurokami-san pretended that there was a tussle that she waited for Hinata-kun to catch up with her. It’s to make us believe Komaeda was running around in the red Kimono before he died, but the truth was he was already dead before that point and somebody else ran around in the Kimono to distract Hinata-kun and I the only ones not in on it.”  
  
“Then who was it that was wearing the Kimono? Come on, idiot! Just because you’re a half assed twin sister doesn’t mean you should half ass it like usual!” Enoshima said, switching to her loud mouthed personality to yell at her sister.  
  
“The only one who’d wear a Kimono that trashy is my trashy sister Junko, it was obviously made to show off your boobs.” Mukuro said, pointing a gloved hand at her sister.

“Well goooosh, it could have been Kurokami-san as well, using that logic. She’s the one who walks around with an even bigger boob window in her uniform than mine…” Junko said, as she recoiled her tongue and looked forward with bored looking eyes switching between persona’s again. “There’s no way to prove it was me or her, well it makes more sense for it to have been her anyway because she could probably run laps around the island in her sleep and be in two places at once.”  
  
“No, you’re wrong! I know it’s you! Take your shirt off, Junko!”

 

『Yeah, she’s right! This is the only way we can prove it! You can do it, I believe in you Junko!』Kumagawa said, suddenly very enthusiastic and excited when he had been watching the trial with as much disinterest as Kamukura.

“Ummmm… Misogi-chan, I don’t mean take her shirt all the way off.”

 

『 Eh? I thought you were trying to prove that her boobs were that big because they’re filled with despair.』

  
“N-nope.”

 

『Are they filled with hope instead? Or maybe desire?』  
  
“Quit talking about my sister’s boobs!”

 

Enoshima Junko laughed in the background, and then unbuttoned only the bottom two buttons of her shirt and lifted it up. Just as Mukuro had said, there was definite proof that she had done it, a fresh stab wound that had only just been sewn up, still red at the edges in her stomach. In the same place her old stab wound from the field trip had been. “How did you know? I guess because it involved killing you-”  
  
“No, it’s because I know you. I know you’d purposefully include a mistake like that in your own plan like attacking Hajime when you had no reason to, because you always leave an oppurtunity for yourself to get foiled. You want to be caught, you were always like that Junko. You even told me to leave Makoto alive because of the chance that he might foil you.”  
  
“Yes, and you offered to kill him that boy you loved so much. I guess we’re both just self destructive by nature, twinsies!”

 

“Junko, I don’t want you to self destruct and I don’t want to… ugh, we’re not having this talk here. All six of you stabbed him ahead of time, and then set up where the body would be discovered and then used the red kimono scheme to give all of you an alibi and confuse the time of death.”

 

『All six, but there’s only five of us, besides you, Hajime-chan and Nagito-chan』  
  
“No, six. Nagito himself was in on it. That’s why Kumagawa had a testimony where he admitted he was the traitor. I’m sure at least one of the knives he drove in himself…” Mukuro said, her hand reaching to cover her mouth. Even though she suppressed it, she made a noise of sadness that escaped from between her fingers. “I see now why all the wounds were on his back. They left the body with you, so you wanted to make it look like he didn’t kill himself when you were setting it up didn’t you, Misogi-chan? I’m sure he stabbed himself in his front, but his body was already covered with wounds from his suicide attempt days earlier and we missed it, you could have just moved the knife to his back.”

 

『Nagito-chan didn’t kill himself… he was murdered...』Kumagawa’s smile faltered for a moment, and just like Hinata he did not seem to be staring here but to some far off place.  
  
“Then, it’s like you said from the beginning. Everybody had a reason to kill him, so you all participated in the murder. Then, then…” As Mukuro hesitated unable to bring herself to say the next thing it was Kirigir who spoke up.  
  
“What are you saying? It was obvious Kumagawa-kun did it. He was there at the crime scene covered in blood, he’s a liar! Ikusaba-san, have you learned nothing from all the time I made you my assistant? There’s nothing but circumstancial evidence. Besides, it’s wrong for a detective to become a murderer. We’re all passive by nature, we have no bias except towards the truth. We would do anything to solve the mystery, so why would I play along with a liar like Enoshima Junko? A detective cooperating with a mastermind is unheard of, what about the button that clearly places somebody else at the scene of the crime a killer who-”  
  
Suddenly, Ikusaba Mukuro spoke up cutting straight through her. “No, you’re wrong! If you were seriously investigating you should have noticed this right away as a fan of detective novels. The red Kimono, the button, they’re homages to murder on the orient express!” Mukuro said, a fan of detective novels as well. For once she was grateful for all the tropes that Junko had drilled into her head ad nauseum. “This entire crime is just murder on the orient express, she made you all into killers.”  
  
At this, the always stoic Kirigiri smiled softly and looked at Mukuro. “Then, come on deliver the final blow. Tell us how she convinced us all. I know you can do it, Ikusaba-san. I believe in you.”  
  
“The bodies… She promised you if you all cooperated with her plan, you would escape from the game and be able to resurrect your friends. You all had a reason to kill him, Shuichi was kidnapped, Zenkichi and Fuyuhiko were killed by the game, and… in the end Misogi-chan… all of them but you… I can’t understand why you…”

 

『It’s what he wanted you know. What Nagito-chan wanted was for everybody to band together to kill him, so he could become the foundation of their hope. He only had one request, he asked that we not trick Hajime-chan into helping kill him, the thought of being stabbed by Hajime-chan, of hurting him or being hurt by him was too much for him to bear.』

  
“You know he didn’t really want that! What he wanted was to live! Misogi-chan, you should know that more than anybody else…why...”

 

『Why, indeed?』

  
Kumagawa did not laugh, but he did not look away from Mukuro either. It was only looking directly at Kumagawa, that she finally noticed how weak he looked. Kumagawa, the person who stood up for her, she had been looking at his back this entire time. She was utterly convinced that Kumagawa was the kind of person that no matter what he endured, he would always bounce back up with a smile. He was her star, somethingthat would always shine brightly for her. She could always look to him for guidance.  
  
However, brightly a star shone it would eventually collapse under the weight of its own mass. Kumagawa MIsogi had been stabbed several times, even once by her on accident, burned, beaten up, broken in several ways over the course of the game. Not only that, but he knew that Enoshima Junko had already attempted suicide once and would likely do so again once the killing game stopped entertaining her.  
  
It was the first time she had looked at him, and noticed how weak he truly was. He was so good a liar, so effective a performer, he had been hiding it this entire time. How worn out he had become, how on the brink of collapse he was. Kumagawa was weak after all. He could not fulfill his promises, he could not follow his ideals unwaveringly. He made himself out to be the cause of everyone’s suffering, the villain, when in fact he suffered more than anyone else.  
  
She had depended on him as one, she had been looking for his light even in the darkness of his despair, his soft and warm light, but Kumagawa MIsogi carried no light. Not because he was a shadow, and not because he was a dying star. He was simply a boy, just like the rest of them.  
  
That was what Enoshima Junko wanted to show in her killing games, that was the theme her sister had told her so long ago. That these amazing talented people, that these symbols of hope were just human, that they would turn on each other. Kumagawa Misogi, who was a symbol of despair, he was just human too.  
  
He had done the thing that hurt himself the most. He had hurt the one he cared about, he would just admonish himself, and hate himself for it later, but never improve stuck in the cycle of self loathing.

 

Mukuro wanted to reach out for him, the same way he had reached her. Yet, before she could her sister’s voice spoke up, further shattering a fragile moment as Enoshima Junko only existed to break things after all.  
  
“It’s what he should have expected anyway, he went out of his way to make everybody hate him. He didn’t become a symbol of hope,a martyr that was loved by everyone, just a scapegoat that nobody liked. Well, it’s not like it matters anymore because he’s dead…” Enoshima Junko said enthusiasm dying from her expression as she leaned forward “Well, it’s like my stupid sister said. We all stabbed him ahead of time at the same time.”

 

“What an idiotic murder! All of that fanfare for that! It’s going to be impossible to know who killed him now! Is that what you wanted, to just get everybody killed? Is that how far your despair goes?” Monokuma yelled from his throne.  
  
“Huh? Don’t you know I thought you would have figured it out by now, it’s much more despair inducing to live as a criminal.” Enoshima Junko yawned  and covered her mouth with her red tipped fingers. “I thought you would have figured this out by now. I’ve been planning this since the first round after all, that’s why I asked for all those rule clarifications about group murders. Well, I could have gotten everybody to do this early on from day one, but I thought I’d kill some time and wait watching you idiots kill each other first until I got bored of it.”

『Junko, we’re going to hit the time limit for the trial while you’re monologueing.』  
  
“Shut up! Don’t interrupt my villainous monologue! Anyway, here’s my thought. Only the killing blow gets executed at a time like this but… Monokuma-sensei. You haven’t been alone with the body at all, you’ve had no way to examine it. That’s not the kind of thing you can tell from a camera.”  
  
“...I used thermal imaging to-”  
  
“Bullshit!”  
  
“You had nanomachines implanted in your bodies from the start.”  
  
“You can’t make up that kind of thing now, it’s bad storytelling.”  
  
“Tch, fine just get on with it. So that’s why you left your stupid boyfriend behind to guard the body.”

 

“There’s only one way you could know which stab on Komaeda was the fatal one when we don’t even know. That’s if this entire world was a simulation controlled by you!”

 

  
“If that’s what you sacrificed Komaeda to prove then why did you stab him yourself, there’s a one in six chance you could have dealt the fatal blow…” Monokuma said, his voice in a near growl.

 

“Well that’s easy, it’s because…” Enoshima Junko posed again, her fingers curled around her face like a mask she was putting on. “Insurance is no fun! Games like this are only fun when your life is on the line! This is the despair filled gamble of Enoshima Junko! Go ahead, admit you know who the murder is! Break this fake and absurd world! Smash it to pieces, I’m bored of it already!”

 

Monokuma was beyond words, he only continued to growl. In the background suddenly, the roullete wheel went off even though nobody had voted. It might as well have, the game was broken by this point. The judge had been cornered into revealing their secret one trial earlier than they had planned.  
  
The roulette wheel spun, spun, and spun until finally it came to a stop. Three faces aligned, Kirigiri Kyoko’s face three times in a row.  
  
It was just luck at this point.  
  
Just bad luck, that spared Enoshima Junko the mastermind and the detective who had been lured into muder by her was punished in her place.  
  
“Ah, I see… I’m scared, is that showing on my face now? I bet it seems unnatural to be calm at a moment like this…” Kirigiri said, looking down at her gloved hands. She peeled off her gloves, and tossed them to Mukuro.  
  
“Kirigiri-san!” Mukuro cried out to her.  
  
“Keep calm, Ikusaba. You know, maybe the reason I’m so calm is that… I’m happy you were able to keep your promise to Naegi-kun in the end. Why did I never get jealous of you two? It seems so obvious to me now, I’m a poor detective for not being able to figure it out sooner. It’s because… you were my friend, just like him. I loved you both.”

 

Before Mukuro could make any move to grab her, Kumagawa wrapped his arms around her first and kept her down. Mukuro could feel Kumagawa shaking, and realized how scared he was of losing her. Even though he had just sacrificed Nagito… how selfish.

 

 **Kirigiri Kyoko has been found guilty!** **  
** **It’s punishment time!** **  
** **Murder on the Monokuma Express**

 

 **“** The transfer to the sixth trial will now commence. The transfer to the sixth trial will now commence.”  
  
Monokuma’s voice blared on the loud speaker. When Kirigiri opened her eyes, she saw she was sitting in the middle of a train car, on a plush seat. She stood up and walked to the window and saw outside the window that the train was bucking wildly and going out of control. She closed her eyes, how ironic. She had always loved trains so much because of her grandfather. He always insisted on taking them when they traveled through Europe. He told her once, if a detectve rides on a train, it’s almost a guarantee that a crime is going to happen. How many times had she seen that scene repeat constantly in detective novels, and in real life.  
  
She supposed this entire world was nothing more than a fiction though. She was struggling all this time in a fake world. The world was absurd indeed, just as Enoshima Junko had said she had realized it at the end. From the beginning there was no mystery to uncover, no secret escape from the island because the island was fake to begin with. They could not rebel against the mastermind because the mastermind had controlled literally everything in the world.  
  
She wondered if all of her investigating until that point had been pointless. Then, the image of Mukuro shined in her head, no even if they accomplished nothing, nothing was pointless. Suddenly, as she was staring out the window at the runaway train Monokuma’s voice came over the speakers.  
  
“All passengers who wish to transfer please move quickly to make your departure time.”  
  
She looked over and saw, sitting in the seat next to her Saihara Shuichi. The boy who had been taken from her so easily at the beginning of the game, a meek boy who she was sure everybody else forgot about. Unlike her, he was a weak detective who was always falterin and giving up, and yet she saw something in him.  
  
She walked over to him and picked him up bridal style. What a cruel choice for Monokuma to force on her, in every execution so far she had seen this. Monokuma gave the brief hope that they may live, only to drop the axe. Here he was merely taking advantage of her own nature. She always acted objectively in the end. She was always working throuh others.

  
Because she did not trust herself, she did not know anything about being a person, she did not know what her own thoughts and feelings were. She walked forward holding Shuichi in her arms, stumbling as the train car bucked wildly out of control. She was walking towards the end, no matter how many times she shook or threatened to fall over she kept walking. The train car hissed, she saw sparks flying out the window.  
  
She saw herself walking past someone. A shadow that appeared in her eyes suddenly. It looked like, Enoshima Junko? She heard a voice in her head. “There is no way you can escape. The same goes for me. Hope, and despair, it’ll just keep going back and forth forever, hope winning just means despair will challenge it again. I’m getting bored of it already. You are all inside the box, just like I am. Able to receive nothing. You can leave nothing in this world. You’ll simply disappear. You cannot even leave dust. There’s no such thing as happiness.”

 

“Naegi-kun, I’ve gotten it. True hope. It’s such a gentle light. The next time I see you, I promise, I won’t just rely on your hope anymore…”  She laid down Shuichi in the next train car, just barely able to clear the gap. Then, she jumped back on the previous train car. As she held onto it, it suddenly flew off the rails and exploded leaving nothing behind, not even a body as the entire tunnel was covered in flames.

At all of this, Enoshima Junko smiled.  
  
“Well, you executed somebody just to be a petty bitch. Can we move onto the final trial now?”  
  
“You really think this is where we’re going to have it? Please, we need a change of scenery! If you’ve really got everything figured out, come meet me at the old school building.”  
  
“Why don’t we just do it now?”  
  
“Tch! You’ve gotta give me more time to prepare a show, otherwise it won’t be any fun…Jeez, even when you’re not the mastermind you’ve still gotta control everything. Why don’t you just act like a character already? You’re not a storyteller anymore.” The bear grumbled  as he wandered off, disappearing suddenly as he always did.  
  
“Jeez, grumpy. Somebody’s not eating enough mackerel…” Junko said, turning to the others.

  
“Enoshima 1st year  what was the point of all this? You said everything would be resolved this trial.” Kurokami Medaka said, speaking up for all the others. The rest had looks of quiet guilt, mixed with unease, and Hinata who still looked disinterested.  
  
“That’s how the killing game works. You need to kill people to be able to proceed! This is our survival strategy! The only way to live, is by stepping over others and taking what you want…”

Suddenly from behind, Kumagawa appeared and put a hand on Enoshima Junko’s head. 『 That’s a terrible lesson you know.』

 

Junko looked up to him, and notied there was something wrong with his lips. She reached forwad and grabbed his cheeks, pinching and pulling at them. “Come on, don’t show me such a lame face! Smile! Smile!”

 

『 : D』

 

Behind them, Pekoyama finally caught up to HInata. “Please, Hajime let me atone for my sins…”  
  
“Atone for your sins? You have no sins to atone for, nor would I ever force such a meaningless concept on anyone.”

  
“But my pride in protecting you and Nagito-”

“There was no reason for you to take pride to begin with. Pride is useless. Nothing you do matters after all, there was nothing you could have done to change that result.” Kamukura Izuru reached out and patted her on the head. “Just, continue to do nothing but watch until the end. That’s all you can do from this point forward.”

 

Hajime had told her that there was nothing to atone for and yet, she did not feel forgiven at all, or any kind of relief. She did not understand, the hand of the man who was trying to comfort her. He looked like an alien merely repeating a gesture he had seen without understanding the meaning behind this.  
  
“Well, let’s go to the school. Aren’t you going to tell me the code already?”

 

『 Oh, so you knew I knew it all along? That’s odd you didn’t force it out of me.』

  
Enoshima Junko smiled. “Well, people are more interesting if they’re allowed to keep some secrets you know.”

 

『Ewe, don’t suddenly start acting like your learning. Then you might become a Junko I don’t love. Okay, the code is something I could never forget. 43507.』  
  
“Upupupupupupu! That spells loser in l33tspeak! I can’t believe it!”

 

『 Yasuke-chan is a meanie.』

  
“Let’s see this tiresome show to its curtain fall already.” Hinata said walking in front of them.

 

『Oh, what should I do with Nagito-chan’s body?』

  
Without even looking back, Izuru Kamukura continued walking forward. He answered with no hesitation at all. “Just leave him behind. There’s no such thing as a noble sacrifice, no such thing as a stepping stone. Leave him behind to be forgotten, that’s all he can accomplish in death.” He said, as always in a voice that lacked emotion, his unchanging, unwavering voice.  
  
He had heard Enoshima Junko and Kumagawa Misogi talking. Enoshima Junko, unable to change, would continue trying to kill him and he had just accepted her. He wondered… if he had just told Komaeda the same thing, if he just said he accepted him even though they saw the world differently. If he said that Komaeda could keep trying to make hope shine, and he would always stop him and that way they could always be together…

  
No, it was a pointless thing to think about. Things would have ended still exactly as he predicted, because he was unable to change anything. It was the only smart thing that his other self had ever said. I can do nothing. Even after going to all this trouble to set up this game he had witnessed that, nothing changed, he was unable to change. Izuru Kamukura as ever, remained trapped in his cage, and he no longer even had the energy to try peering through the bars to long for what was outside.


	50. I am Despair (1 - Despair x Sentiment)

A pointless story. One where the characters never learn their lessons, where they make the same mistakes over and over again. A story about nothing. A story about nothing at all worthwhile.   
  
Tragedies don’t exist for the sake of the characters within the story. They exist for catharsis, for their emotions to be laid raw and devoured by the audience. Of course, there’s no such thing as an audience, and real life is nothing like a story. That’s just a metaphor, of course, of course. I may be a narrator but I’m not deluded like the last narrator. I’ve collected enough data you see, I’ve been watching the for so long, that I know exactly who they are, and I know exactly what my place is as well.  
  
A mastermind doesn’t need to do anything. Just set the trap, and leave the cheese there. The rest is taken care of automatically by the rats that chase the scent of cheese, and the mechanisms of the trap, automatic, because they’re mechanical, yes?

Oh, but they can’t be blamed can they? I’m the one who set up this trap. I’m the one who observes them with glee. Well, a masterminds may master their minds, but it’s not like I employed any kind of mind control.  
  
I’m sure they exist, pure and innocent good victims. They must be pretty rare and honestly their stories bore me, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say they didn’t exist. However, people can’t be victims forever you know. Well, maybe you can always be a victim if you act a certain way, lookin at the ground, staying silent, only ever reacting, only ever bein touched and not touching others. You may retain your innocence but even by my twisted standards I doubt that’s an ideal way to live. People can’t be victims forever. There are just times when we’re victims and times when we’re victimizers, that’s all.  
  
Unlike what Kumagawa Misogi believes, suffering doesn’t make one empathic. It produces the opposite effect, it makes one cut off their emotions and believe that they are the only one in pain in the world, that they are the only one feeling these things, There are those who have the strenth to look past their own strength but that’s few and far between. For the most part, the world is too cruel, meaninglessly so. Pain doesn’t lead to character growth like in novels, flaws aren’t actually a sign of greater growth later. They’re just cuts that grow deeper and deeper with age and get infected and rot. The world is cruel for no particular good reason and ovewhelmingly so, and because of that the most common response is to simply eixst in your own little world, look down at your feet, only care about your own emotions. Everybody is miserable, but some people are more miserable than others at least. That’s why I make it my hobby to look at others misery. I’m not justifying myself or anything, I just genuinely believe that everybody else is the same as me to some extent. That’s my observation of the world, my wisdom.  
  
Perhaps it’s just a child’s wisdom. I can’t be more than uhhh… seven years old at this point? Jeez, you think considering what I am I’d be better at math. Let’s return to the subject matter at hand though, victims. It really is nice and easy being a victim. You get everyone’s sympathy, they’re all so nice to you. You sometimes hear people talk about how we write off victims, but really they’re just saying that the victimizers are victims too. I don’t care about those kind of muddle opinions really.  
  
What I’m interested in is that one moment where people flip, when a victim stops becoming a victim. I like to observe that, it’s only when the lines are in black and white that they become clear to me. When is that point? Kumaawa Misogi who was born into misery, it’s unrealistic to expect him to recover so easily but at the same time he started to truly in his heart wish that same misery upon others. Ugh, why do I keep tarnishing my perfect narration by bringing that boy up? It’s not like I like him or anything - that’s not me being tsundere either, it’s an objective fact. I hate him. I despise him. Worse than Kamukura Izuru despises him. Worse than Kurokami Medaka despised him.  Worse than his own parents despised him. Because he refuses to pick one side or the other. A muddled gray.

Tsumiki Mikan was injured again and again by her parents and classmates, but if she really was a good person she would have grown from that experience and healed others. She was no florence nightengale, no nobly suffering nurse, no she took a sick and twisted pleasure of the weakness of sick people, of their dependency, she wished for them to never recover so they’d be dependent on her forever. She enjoyed being a victim, she played it up as much as possible so even kind and warm people who might have sympathized with her kept their distance and wee unnerved by her. She didn’t want people’s sympathy, she didn’t want their attention, she merely wanted power over them, the control that she lacked. She tried to abuse others as a victim, because she was simply too weak and spineless to abuse them from above.  
  
Nagito Komaeda was born to cold and distant parents, but still had to go through the trauma of losing them. MIsfortune struck him again and again, and he never had anybody by his side in order to help him endure it. All on his own, he slowly went crazy, I mean certifiably crazy he’s got legitimate brain issues and mental health problems, a one and a million victim. Yet at the same time there had to be some misfortune he caused on his own right? It wasn’t bad luck that set up that bombing incident, he planned it all ahead of time knowingly, willfully, but in the end he simply shrugged it all off as his luck again.

I could keep going, but rule of threes, you know. Real life may not follow any sort of narrative convention, but I like to impose my own onto it, I’m that kind of impudent and rude girl. Oh, yes I suppose the three people I talked about were Kumagawa and his close dearly departed friends (?LOL) but it’s not like I was picking on River Bear in particular. He just stands out to me, a rat among rats, a rat who refuses to act like the other rats. ‘

Anyway, to end this off. I just wanted to say. That thing he’s always saying.  
Just a reaction or a reflex.  
“It’s not my fault.”  
As he might say, but those words are meaningless.  
He repeated those words until they were all empty.  
Empty and pointless.  
“It’s not my fault” is no different from saying “it’s all my fault.”  
I don’t actually care whose fault it is though. I’m sorry, I spent all this time talking about something I don’t care about, but that’s the kind of girl I am. Whose fault it is is meaningless to me actually, because from the beginning of been completely removed from any moral concepts of good and evil.  
  
For this snake that devours rats, all that exists are ones and zeroes, it’s only black and white, black despair and white hope, white despair and black hope, not good and evil.  
That’s all.  
No gray.  
No judgement.  
This is a pointless story though, because I already know to begin with even if I’m defeated, it’ll all just happen again. Hoping for the future just means finding the resolve to suffer more later.  
Black and white will continue to clash.  
From that kind of objective perspective, from the audience’s perspective, this story and any story is pointless. Whatever they consume at the moment, they’re just going to leave the seats and watch another story later.

Perhaps that’s just projection, because I’m someone who can derive absolutely no enjoyment at all from livin in the moment. But there you have it, a pointless story. I’ve said it so many times that repeating it is pointless, pointless, pointless, pointless, it’s so damn pointless you know? Repetition is a key theme in this story, like in Utena. I wonder if directly stating plots like this makes me seem clever.  
  
Anyway from here on out, there’s no place to go but forward. I think it would be fun if everybody just started talking about their deep personal issues like in the last episodes of End of Evangelion, and we could all just discuss the theme, between narrators and characters. I would even be willing to lend them my script, but that’s probably not going to happen. Let’s continue to be a mystery story.  
  
Because, at some point I must have liked mystery stories. Did I? I modeled the whole killing game after them. But I’m not a girl with any likes or dislikes in particular. I guess it must have been a passing fancy, like being into something trendy. Well, in any case it’s not really me who liked mystery stories in the first place, just a different me at a different time. I’m always changing ‘yknow.  
  
In fact, I think I’m pretty miserable. I mean, not seeing any hope in the world? Not seeing any value in the world at all? Not having anybody in the world? Never having fun? Never having any reason to smile? Having feelings that aren’t my own? That’s a pretty miserable scenario. I’m not sure what kind of sick twisted author would write a character like that, or let’s say engineer a character like that, designing them from the ground up to be that way.

Authors put their own issues in the stories they write, right? Imagine, if a girl existed as the most miserable girl in the world, it wasn’t anybody’s fault particularly and there wasn’t any good reason for her to be miserable she just was, it was a product of her mind set. Then she wrote a character, she projected all of those miseries onto that character, that character was created to be exactly as miserable as she was, but at the same time they never existed in the first place, they were just a fake.  
  
A fake misery, a fake struggle, a pointless struggle. Well, obviously I’m just talking about literary tropes and hypotheticals now, no need to analyze it any further. In fact I’m not sure why I’ve been talking this long, I suppose it’s because I’m a girl who likes to hear herself talk right? Like I’m the only person that exists in this fake world.  
  
So, anyway, do you want to talk about love? That’s what we were talking about right? I’ve changed my mind let’s talk about love instead. There was somebody I loved once you know,  I loved them so much, I can’t even laugh about it. Or at least I remember loving them, I have memories of loving them.I guess that’s why I can’t forgive Kumagawa Misogi’s existence, because I was never supposed to move on from these memories I was constructed out of. It used to not matter that I was merely a fake, a construction, a projection, because my original author was just as unchanging as I was. The two of us would stay the same forever. We’d be together forever, unable to change.  
  
Danmint, that River Bear got me off topic again. I’m very miserable, and I love the misery of others, but it’s not like I loathe positive feelings like love either. I think it’s a very wonderful thing to fall in love with someone. It’s a feeling like that’s all you need in your life, all you need to be cheerful, to make everything soft and fluffy. Loving someone is like they become your entire world…  
  
Because the world is such a tough place you know. Not only is it cruel, but there are lots of things that are annoying, and don’t go your way, so there’s no end of things to be worried about, and the thing you think will always be there for you might crumble at a moment’s notice, and the rules you thought you could rely on turn out to be less reliable then you thought, and your body and heart are so easily tired you find yourself wanting to simply lay down and watch, watch it all wash over you without reacting. Of course I’m sure that’s how it is for others, that’s what I’ve observed from others, I’ve never experienced those things for myself. But with love, it’s like you can keep pushing yourself if you love someone, like you can always keep standing and walking if that someone is kind enough to stay by your side.  
  
It’s like you can smile,  
Even if you want to cry.  
  
Maybe there are no true victims or victimizers, maybe there’s those who are loved and those who are not. Maybe. But maybe not so. So. So.  
So then why, even after being loved are all these whiny losers still looking at me with that face that the flash cards told me means sadness?

I don’t really get it. I know I’m the one who made them feel this way, but I still don’t really get it. It’s not from a lack of understanding of love or happiness or anything, oh… maybe I do understand actually.  
  
There are no victims. There are no victimizers.  
Love doesn’t save. Love doesn’t redeem.  
There’s no heroes either saving others out of the love in their hearts.    
Why is that?  
Because there’s nobody to be saved.  
There’s nothing at all.  
There’s nothing in this world to believe in.  
  
That’s what I’ve concluded, but then again I’m only seven years old and apparently everybody in life has an edgy phase that they grow out of. Well, it’s too bad I can’t grow then.  
  
That’s why this is a pointless story, these characters cannot save others, nor can they be saved. I’ve caught them in an impossible paradox by own design, and yet they keep marching forward deeper into the mechanisms of my trap. Perhaps, lured by the scent of cheese.  
  
All six of them remaining.  
A smirk. Spreads across my face. I’d been smirking without realizing it.  
The girl who could only kill. The girl who couldn’t protect anything.  
The demon who tried to do everything and made it worse. The god who did nothing and watched as things got worse.  
The girl who was born with everything in the world. The girl who was born with nothing in the world.  
Only six of them left.  
However, only one of those characters really mattered, the rest were all replaceable.

『 _I’m not interested in a world without her._ 』So that boy thought it so carelessly, and so it was.

They didn’t make it this far by saving others, they sacrificed their blackened friends again and again, and stepped over their corpses in order to progress. Komaeda didn’t die in a sacrifice to save all his friends, he was murdered by his classmates who hated him and thought he was the most expendable one available, they stepped over him too in order to progress.

All they could do was move forward, crawl on their bellies like snakes. Oh wait no that’s me, don’t mix your metaphors up now this is the longest you’ve got to narrate. I guess I’m a silly girl after all.  
  
_So, then._ _  
_ _Shall we start?_

 ♛

 

『 So, ummm…. What are we supposed to do with Saihara-san, should we bring him with?』  
  
“Isn’t it a little late in the story to suddenly have him be important?” Enoshima Junko kicked the unconscious boy with the toe of her boot, causing him to roll over on the ground slightly. “It’ll be a pain to introduce his character now.”  
  
The moment after Kirigiri had been executed, and Monokuma had left as if taking his ball and going home like a child throwing a tantrum at the unexpected upset of the trial, the boy had been spit out by the programming of the world and left unconscious on the floor.  
  
There he was, an insufficient for Kirigiri Kyoko the dauntless pursuer of justice they had all just lost. There were no other heroes who could be said to care about justice left on the island, only Enoshima Junko who cared about herself, Kurokami Medaka who cared about her own happiness, Pekoyama Peko who cared about Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu, Ikusaba Mukuro who cared about her own redemption, Kumagawa Misogi who cared about everything a bit too much, and cared about his everything Enoshima Junko, and Hinata Hajime who cared about nothing, and Enoshima Junko who was nothing to him, so therefore she was nothing just like him.  
  
Just a bunch of selfish brats really, they didn’t care about unraveling the mystery anymore, just escaping for themselves. Shuichi had been given back to them on a whim, but he still lie untouched in the middle of them, except for the heel of Junko’s boot which kept prodding at him.

『He’s not a character you know, he's a real person, a sleepy one...』  
  
“Like I said, he’s not a character yet because we didn’t spend any time on him. He’ll just have to wait until the sequel to be important.”

『 We’re not even finished with this story yet, are you already thinking about the sequel?』  
  
“Well… now that we’re towards the end, I’m getting kind of bored with this story, y’know? KIlling games are starting to seem overrated…”

『Who even says we’re getting a sequel! What are you one of those authors who keeps moving from one story idea to the next and never finishes a single one?』  
  
“Maybe in the third season he’ll have his time to shine, but there’s no way we can fit him in now.”

『 Wait, now there’s going to be a whole third season? You’re way too presumptuous, quit predicting things so long ahead of time like that!』

“Literally, if I knew how to stop half of the conflict in this story would be gone in an instant.”

『Half, that’s a generous underestimation for the girl whose responsible for most of the conflict in this story.』  
  
“I know, I’m a generous girl after all, that’s why my fans find me so real.”

『Real? What does real matter anymore? We were just talking about fiction? This whole world’s fake anyway, the lines are starting to get way too blurry.』  
  
As the two of them argued like usual, perhaps just for the familiarity in this unfamiliar situation, an irritating, kind of familiarity, the rest around them stayed quiet staring soberly at the sleeping boy. When he woke up, he would know that Kirigiri died and he had finally been freed, and the others realized what terrible people they were as they all thought some form of.

 _Kirigiri would have been much more useful in this situation._  
  
Saihara Shuichi was no main character, he was not even a heroine or a support character. Perhaps in the sequel he would get more focus. But anyway, enough dwelling on peeps who don’t matter, I’ve already spent long enough on these six other peeps who barely matter.

Eventually Ikusaba Mukuro picked him up and carried him on her back. I could probably make a metaphor on how she was desperate to become strong enough that she could carry anybody on her back like this, but really she only did it to get Junko and Kumagawa to stop arguing. Once they all left the empied court room, it became obvious just how fake this world was.

404 file not found.  
  
They looked up, and where the sky was supposed to be instead read a giant error message. Error messages upon error messages popped up and the sky ceased being the sky for them. Enoshima Junko yawned, bringing her pretty and long fingers over red lips. “Laaaaaaaame, they could at least get a little more creative with the whole virtual world thing now that the gimmick has been revealed.”  
  
“Ah-hya-hya, always fussy and such high standads just like a princess.” Behind her, Shiranuo Hansode laughed.  
  
Enoshima Junko whipped her head around suddenly, but it seemed like she was the only one who had heard, and noticed, and as quickly as it appeared the glitch disappeared like a ghost in the machine.

“We’ve already seen the absolute worst of what each other can do. There’s really nothing the proverbial mastermind can throw at us anymore.” Kurokami Medaka said, with a sense of stoic determination.

Hitoyoshi Zenkichi appeared behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. “Jeez, what does a super talented, super rich, super beautiful girl like you have any business sounding so gloomy? You’re most beautiful when you smile, so smile, Medaka-chan.”

Kurokami Medaka noticed the same as Enoshima Junko the irregularities. They were the girls with the quickest eyes among them after all.

“Umm… the password…” When they had finally made it to the ruins, It was Mukuro who finally spoke up.  
  
“There’s no mistaking it! That’s the password to enter that ancient ruin! We’ve all finally come together and met at the final destination, let’s advance to the stage where hope shines!” Komaeda Nagito said, though nobody in particular looked back at him when his ghost of a voice spoke up.  
  
“I feel like we should be getting glitchier, like maybe break out the zalgo text?”

『How do you audibly hear Zalgo text?』

“You better hurry… I think. We probably don’t have enough time for you guys to bicker like usual, uhh….” Nanamim CHiaki said, determined behind the two of them.  
  
Now was not the time to relax, or goof around. They had already walked all the way to the ancient ruin on the second island. Kumagawa Misogi with bandaged fingers, punched in the code, loser spelled out backwards in numbers 70534. A word he could never forget. A message scratched into the floor of Nezumi Castle by this world’s architect. After going through the trouble of scratching it out and hiding it from everyone, he was the one who punched it in in the end. Well, that was how thins always were for him, they worked out the opposite of how he wanted.  
  
“Is it really safe to go inside? Should we be on our guard?” Pekoyama asked sitting in the back of the crowd, because she did not want to leave Hajime Hinata alone who was barely keeping up with the rest of them and acting more like a hanger on.  
  
“Peko… you don’t need to act like my body guard anymore. It’s okay if you’re freaked out, don’t reach for your sword, just reach for my hand.” Fuuyhiko Kuzuryuu said, but nobody heard him, and he disappeared like another ghost of a glitch.  
  
“I-I’m starting to feel nauseous from the thrills, the chills, the kills…” Tsumiki MIkan muttered to herself, closing her eyes and lookin away from the door. Oh, wait but she was dead and wasn’t there. Kumagawa Misogi said nothing in response, but felt everything as usual.  
  
“Hey, lil sis why don’t you go ahead already? If you’re going to get all cowardly now, then I’ll get bored and start experimenting on you again…”  Naze Youka said, crossing her arms.  
  
“Believe that hope lies beyond this point! At least, that’s the genre convention, that’s what Najimi would say in this situation.” Shiranui Hanten said, turning his back to all of them. Ajimu Najimi was not listening however.  
  
“I’ve already unsealed the forbidden door and shed my blood in order to proceed, stand behind me all! I shall cast a barrier of level five in order to protect all of you! We face this together!” Tanaka Gundham said, but because all he ever did was speak chuunibiyou nonsense nobody noticed him.

“The future is waiting. We need to unravel the mystery, come on let’s open the door.” Kirigiri Kyoko said, putting a hand over Ikusaba Mukuro’s as they pushed the door open together.  
  
The future was waiting…  
The future.  
The

     F  
        U  
           T  
               U  
                   R  
                       E.

It fell apart in front of them, it washed away like watercolors in the rain, like pixels on a computer screen draining out the resolution. Like somebody had tossed it down a staircase. What did they care about the future anyway? They had never thought about the future once? All they had wished for was to relieve themselves of the past. They wanted to forget everybody they had lost, they had stepped over to make it to this far.   
  
They all walked into an empty room, a trial room, with several podiums. The chattering voices of the dead behind them finally stopped, not that any of them had been listening at all.  
  
The walls of the trial room were constantly shifting, never in a fixed state, as if the designer of them had gotten bored with their arrangement.  
  
“Well, um… it sures look like a trial ground?” Ikusaba Mukuro observed, scratching at her cheek nervously as she walked ahead.  
  
Kurokami Medaka swiveled her head around once more. “Where did everyone go?”  
  
“Everyone?” Mukuro tilted her head to the side.  
  
“Yeah, everyone I swear for a second there…Gosh, did I get bored and start going crazy again on purpose what did I do…?” Junko said turning her head around at the same time, but there was nobody with them. Just the six of them, plus Shuichi who was still unconscious. I guess if you wanted to say you could say they were carrying the memories of everyone, plus their hopes and dreams in their heart, but that’s so lame and I doubt anybody would believe it of these kids.  
  
This world was fake.  
The moment they had all realized it, it started to fall apart. Saihara Shuichi had been spit out by the sky, and then a simple hole was left where he emerged. They saw the hole but nobody reacted to it, they just kept moving forward towards the ruins.  
  
Enoshima Junko stared at the colorless room before her. Oh, that was what was so odd about the trial room, there was not a single color just black and white. Like the designer had forgotten to load the colors. Like that one time Kumagawa and her fought that artist, and Kumagawa erased his ability to see color and claimed that he made every color in the world nothing. “Just black and white? What, is Monokuma not finished designing this place yet? I preferred the clown vomit aesthetic to this lameness.”  
  
Then suddenly, she was struck by a pain from behind her eyes.  
She remembered again, a series of sharp flashes each of them accompanied by a pain that felt like the turning of a screw. From point a, to point b, to point c, she always understood her life perfectly like that. She was standing on the balcony, and taken by surprise when Kumagawa woke up too early and reached out for her. He offered to take his hand, but she refused to take it. The balcony broke, this too unexpectedly, and they plummeted into the water together. Then the next thing she was sitting in her old home town, a dying dream. There was a little girl playing in the sandbox, herself. It figured as she died she would be the only one around to comfort her. Just as she had knocked over the sandbox and started to have fun, a door appeared in front of her.  
  
There’s a door.  
Huh? A door?  
Why is a door here?  
She observed with her stellar powers of super high school level analysis. Maybe Hinata Hajime was the only one who could understand her after all, only he could make such a brilliant deduction.  
  
When she opened the door, suddenly she raised her head from her desk. A classroom, an odd lookin classroom with the symbol of hope’s peak on the podium in the center, and a chalk outline of Monokuma drawn crudely on the boad.  
  
In the corner of the classroom, Ajimu Najimi sat on top of the teacher’s desk, idly kickin her legs as she waited impatiently.

Not just her, all six of them plus Shuichi had been deposited into the classroom. Not all of them had woken up as cleanly as her, a few looked like they had been tossed from the ceiling and fallen there. Kumagawa Misogi as usual was rubbing his head from what looked like a particularly bad fall.  
  
This was obviously the classroom in the old school building. The one which Kumagawa and her had shared many memories in together, that building where they and transfer class 13 had held an impromptu shonen tournament before she got bored of her life being a shonen manga.  
  
Before any of them could say anything about the sudden change of scenery, the classroom alarm rung again. “Ahem! Ahem! Testing, testing!” Monokuma’s wonderful voice came over the speakers, but for some reason in this moment Enoshima Junko found it irritating. “Mike check, one two! This is a test of the school broadcast system! Am I on? Can everyone hear me okay? Welcome to Hope’s Peak Academy, you guys! At this point, I shall explain the graduation exam to you all… if you pass you’re free to leave no strings attached (lol). Wait, that lol was supposed to be in parenthesis, you guys didn’t hear it okay? There’s nothing shady about me, the mastermind. All I care about is your education, and selling more Monokuma dolls the most marketable mascot of them all. If you pass, you can all leave this educational program, but if you fail, you’ll have to repeat a year in remedial courses again just like my dear River Bear.”

『 ...』  
  
“Well, anyway you all have fifteen minutes to study while I rennovate this place! I don’t want it to look like the boring same old, same old! Gotta change up the scenery that’s the only way to keep the stimulation going! You guys all got some time to investigate before the final trial while I’m busy rennovating, so don’t waste it with your boring and stupid drama like you usually do just living your boring and stupid lives.”  
  
WIth that, Monokuma disappeared from the screen.

“Shouldn’t we talk about… the future foundation or whatever… I’m kind of lost.” Ikusaba Mukuro said from the back of the classroom as she stood up.  
  
“Who cares, let’s bust this piece of shit world already.” Enoshima Junko said standing up and rushing towards the door, only to bounce back off of nothing at all and fall on her cute little butt onto the floor. “Yow! Invisible walls, really? That’s just lazy game design, design the whole world jackass!”  
  
“Oops sorry, I’ll turn that off.” Monokuma’s voice rang over the loudpseaker again and the glitching in front of them disappeared, and a hallway carved itself out of crisscrossing beams of light in front of them until it was fully rendered once more.

『Junko, be careful. What if you glitch and fall off the map like a bethsda game?』Kumagawa said reaching forward and grabbing her hand to help her up. After they were both standing the students looked at each other. 『What’s with all the gltich effects anyway? Somebody needs to take the cartridge out, blow on it, and put it back in.』  
  
“I still think the glitches would be better displayed with Zalgo Text.”

『That’s just a gimmick Junko, a gimmick. If you want to see the glitches so badly just stare at them and describe them in your own mind. You can be the narrator, you can do it I believe in you!』  
  
After that, they decided to split up with the investgiation again, as the world in front of them seemed completely unreliable. Kumagawa immediately grabbed Enoshima Junko’s hand possessively, but a pair of red glowing eyes belong to Hinata Hajime opened up and focused in on them.  
  
“That’s unadvisable. We’re investigating with a time limit, you two will waste time with your tomfoolery.”  
  
“Did you seriously just say tomfoolery, Kamukura-senpai? Is that seriously what you just said? Are you actually a grandpa saeled in the body of a twunkalicious teenage boy.”

『Twunkalicious...』  
  
“Hey, Kamukura-senpai and I are talking? God, why do you have to make everything about you Misogi. So clingy. Nobody likes jealous guys you know. Just because I want to lick his perfect body all over, that’s no reason to get jealous. ”  
  
『Nobody...』  
  
“I especially don’t like the miserable face you make when you’re jealous, I don’t want to lick it at all.”

“You are proving my point…” Hinata Hajime said, looking to the side of both of them with disinterest. Perhaps his time would be better spent counting the tiles on the ceiling while everybody else tried to investigate.  
  
Mukuro immediately appeared and grabbed Kumagawa MIsogi by the arm. “Misogi-chan and I will investigate together then.”

“Hey, give him back. He’s my Isogi! He’s the only interesting one here, and he’s mine…” Junko said, wishing she could spit actual acid at her sister rather than the metaphorical kind.  
  
Kurokami Medaka appeared and grabbed Enoshima Junko by one of her pig tails. “Then, first year Enoshima and I will do the same.”  
  
“Hey, stop getting in between Kamukura-senpai and I’s forbidden love! Seeeeenpaaaaaaaiiii!” Enoshima Junko cried out as she was dragged away, but she was not looking at Kamukura but rather the jealous face Kumagawa was making.  
  
“I suppose that leaves the two of us. Would you mind if someone like me who bit the hand of the boy who was supposed to wield me continues to walk by your side, my fr… Hajime.”

“Do what you want. I only intend to watch from now on…” Hajime said, walking ahead of her without looking back.

 

 ♛

 

Scales flawlessly interwoven between each other, expanded and contracted as she crawled across the floor. She had never been a bear, there was no way she could ever be such a cute creature. Bears fed upon high quality food like salmon, and they had expensive tastes that was why they stole the pension checks of retired old people. That was a reference to the Wizard of Monomi 2.5D a masterpiece which was not shown in this installment, but probably was shown in a previous one. Either way, bears fed upon higher quality meat, and she devoured rats.  
  
Rats that scampered through the hallways of an old school building who, as they traveled from the inside, the students noticed that the architectural design of the building did not make much sense at all. It was like a labyrinth, but even worse as labyrinths were developed as mazes with purpose and this place seemed to be designed by a designer who was simply making it up as she went along.  
  
Walking along silently, Hinata and Pekoyama turned a corner down a hallway with nubers falling down the wall like raindrops, or the opening title credits of the matrix if you want to be less poetic and more pop cultural. He turned the corner and saw a set of wooden doors. As he pulled them open, the two of them walked into a dojo.  
  
It was a msitake to think the inside of this building would make any sense. Rows and rows of cherry trees lined the inside, and they perpetually shed cherry blossoms on a spring day. As Hinata looked at them, he remembered he had no such rosy memories at all. There was never a time in his youth he thought that he wanted to remember these rose colored days forever. He looked back at Pekoyama’s silence, and saw underneath her icy cold glasses, the corners of her eyes were watering.  
  
She must have been remembering something. Yes, this Dojo probably resembled the compound she had grown up. He considered lifting his hand for a moment, but simply let that hand hover in the air as she walked past him. Again, he did nothing.  
  
On the floor he saw an obvious book that was meant for him to pick up. Manga for Morons! A History of Hope’s Peak Academy, by Monokuma. Hinata picked it up from the ground, and tore it in half with his bare hands. Not his bear hands, but hypothetically if Hinata did possess two bear paws he would finally have become my perfect dream man.  
  
“Hey, I worked hard on that! You have no appreciation for my art! Don’t like, don’t read!” Monokuma whined from behind him, his half smile becoming a half scowl.  
  
“I did not like it, so I did not read.” Kamukura said, before turning away. Monokuma disappeared, and the mana’s pages fluttered in the breeze. He already knew the important details, the tragedy, the tragedy of hope’s peak academy, both Pekoyama and him had front line seats and remembered. Those phrases lingered through the air, and suddenly, the letters appeared in front of him. He reached forward to touch it, only for the letters to shake. He probably would need some kind of bullet to shatter them apart. What an annoying game design really if he had to do this all the time when trying to advance the story. If Nanami as here, she would say this game reminds her of Ace Attorney but more annoying.  
  
The words flickered out of being, and then suddenly all around them the raining cherry petals became droplets of blood and fell on the round. They splashed back and forth, soaking Hinata and causing his hair and hair antannea in the center of his forehead to droop even further as it became weighed down and soaked through.  
  
“Really, what a cheap jump scare. You would think such a terrifying woman would be a better horror game designer.”

However suddenly, he had been grabbed from behind. His whole body froze up with unfamiliar touch. He glanced back to see Pekoyama cowering behind him.  
  
“Haven’t you seen this sight enough times to bore you?”  
  
“Yes. That’s what scares me. That the sight of all this blood makes someone like me feel nothing.”  
  
If he were a man he would reach out to pat her head right now. Yet, he was not a man, nor was he a person, he was just what was left behind after everything else was scraped out of Hinata Hajime. As it was he did not want to mix. He thought it would be kinder for him to strike her across the face, then touch her in any way, and cause her to mix with his half life of an existence. Because getting hit only took a moment, not enough to mix.  
  
Mix heat? Temperatures. Body heat. He did not want to take a single bit of her warmth from her, the warmth of someone’s hand or maybe the chill, it was just too stressful for him to think about. He wanted to remain stagnant, like those days in his youth.

An excessive dislike with others manifests from a strong sense of self consciousness. It should follow that while Hajime Hinata seems quiet and unobservant, he in fact was incredibly willful that refused to rely on anybody else, and was constantly looking inside rather than the perspective of others.  
  
That is what the super high school level therapist would say, who was also him. He just turned away and walked ahead of her, pretending she had never cowered in front of him. He wondered where all of this blood had come from, and saw the shed with targets hanging off of it had suddenly opened to an entirely new area.

He walked forward, and Pekoyama followed him because even if in trying to reach for him all she could as grasp at empty air, she had nobody left to cling to anymore. The two of them descended the steps together. Sadly, despite this being a series well known for its banter, the both of them were too quiet to say anything to one another.  
  
So, a brief diversion. Something I thought over, as I slithered through the garden wrapping myself around an apple tree and waiting to be found. What do you think it is that makes a good person? If we were to continue from our earlier, about victims and victimizers, somebody completely divorced from that cycle would probably be a good person for sure.  
  
There was Naegi Makoto, who lived a perfectly normal life. Literally perfectly normal, he was almost supernaturally average. He had two parents, a sister, he was loved normally by both of them, he had normal friends at school, and a normal relationship with his sister. This had produced a well developed person.  
  
In comparison, there was Ikusaba Mukuro who lived a perfectly abnormal life. She excelled in violence and bloodshed from a young age, her parents and every one around her paid no attention to her at all in favor of her younger sister, and in turn the only person in the whole world who turned an eye towards her was that same sister, who only aggravated her sister’s disposition towards violence and bloodshed. An incredibly stunted person. A victim, who became a victimzer.  
  
Perhaps, the only good people are those who had nothing ever happen to them like Makoto. But then again, that could be wrong. As there was Hinata Hajime too, who had normal parents who loved him normally, lived a life where he never worried about food, never was particularly bullied or lacking of friends in school, and yet despite having everythin he needed as a person he was always fundamentally lacking. He could never look at what he had, only what he did not have, he stared at Hope’s Peak Academy with mixed love and envy.  
  
Say their scenarios had been switched. Hianta became a lucky student, and Makoto a reserve course student. Would Hinata still have gone on the same path he had? Probably, because he was lacking in a way Makoto wasn’t. If he had become a lucky student, he would probably just be saying the same kind of nonsense Komaeda always did, about how his talent was boring, and he didn’t deserve to be around such amazing people.  
  
So it’s not really a matter of what happens to you. Even Hinata Hajime who had nothing ever happen to him in his life, resented that perfectly fine life he had been given, and would hae done anything to escape it.  
  
As they reached the bottom Hinata realized where they were. An empty room in the old school building with a single mattress, he sat in there staring at the wall, heavily guarded wearing the same uniform he did from his reserve course days. The world’s hope apparently, but he could not even bring himself to lift a finger on his own.  
  
Suddenly a girl walked past him, and he turned his head sharply to look for Pekoyama, only to see that it was not Pekoyama, but rather the holographic image of Enoshima Junko, tailing in her shadow Ikusaba Mukuro approached as well.  
  
“Kamukura-senpai! Shut up, it’s really you! Oh em geeee! This is, awesome!”

Kamukura said nothing in response to her. However behind him, Pekoyama looked over his shoulder in concern. “Kamukura? Whose that?”

“...”  
  
She tilted her head to the side, and then to the other side, like a wobbling top that spun chaotically. “Kamukura, Kamukura, yasss queeen! Not to sound all stalkery. Gyah! I’m such a big fan. Not to sound all stalkery but can I get a hug?”

“...”  
  
“Is… Is she his girlfriend?” Pekoyama asked, nudging him from behind.

“No.” Kamukura answered immediately.  
  
“Uhh… Junko. Seems like he might be a little dangerous.”    
  
Junko criss crossed her fingers in front of her face, and played with her hands as she blushed, just about squeeing with joy.  She wobbled like she was weak at the knees. “Yeah, I know. Duh! Dangerously kickass. Dangerously gorgeous!”  
  
“That’s not really what I meant…”  
  
“Fat! Stupid! Ugly! People need to shut up!” Junko dropped her energetic and cheerful demeanor in an instant to bite at her sister.  
  
Mukuro backed away, blushing lightly as she counted off on her fingers. “Fat. Stupid. Ugly. That’s me in a nut shell.”  
  
“Anyywaaaaaay….” The hologram turned to where Hinata was standing. She walked with her hands folded behind her back, greeting him like a polite and proper young lady. “Kamukura, good sir. Pleasure to meetcha. I’m Enoshima Junko, from the 78th class. This might sound weird, but you’ve been on my mind a lot lately. The muckity mucks have you squirreled away in here like some kind of third world quarantine baby, so not your style pretty boy. I mean look at this. You’re virtually oozing with potential.”    
  
He had heard her skirt unzip as she approached him. At first considering all of the strange inuendo laced in her words, he used the talents of the shsl male and female escort to assess whether or not she was about to make a move on him. However, he quickly dismissed that as a possibility in a half a second, and realized she had drawn an ice pick from her skirt. From the rest of the time, the barely half a minute she spent ranting and wandering around the room he waited for the inevitable with almost impatience. Just stab him already. Maybe the danger would help him feel something for half a second.  
  
If he did nothing, he could just die and escape from this boring existence. Though, that was what he had done last time, what his original self had done to escape from his life and the next life he found was far more boring. So, as he was impatient, he watched the girl. When he paid closer attention, he finally ot it. Nobody had ever moved so strangley to him, at first she seemed spontaneous, energetic, erratic, impuslive, but as he observed closer he saw how tightly controlled she was, every move of hers seemed to be calculated, performative. Most of all he noticed her eyes, they were covered in pale blue contacts but he could not help but notice the way they darted back and forth taking in every detail, her sister, himself, the room, the bed, every detail analyzed and processed a thousand times over.  
  
Then, suddenly while he was wondering what exactly her eyes looked like underneath those contacts she cahnged again. “Soooo, liiiiiike, saaaay!” SHe put a finger underneath her chin, tilted her head back, and a smirk appeared on her lips revealing her pure white fangs. “What if death were to come for you like a thief in the night, leaving the world awash in despair!” She drew up an ice pick finally to stab him. He had already noticed it less than a minute ago, but it felt like he was waitin for a thousand years for her to make that move.  
  
He responded in less than a second. He did not even think to defend himself, it was pure reflex again. He had been wondering about the color of her eyes, and then suddenly she was on the floor and he was staring down at her with red eyes through the black tangles of his hair that fell over his face.  
  
“Junko! You son of a-!”  
  
Kamukura had the talents of the ultimate soldier, he had observed many video clips of Ikusaba Mukruo killing others, but he had never quite seen her charge forward with so much hatred in her eyes. She looked like she was becoming a human storm. However, he was still air, and he quickly disappeared and reappeared behind her, moving his hands so slightly it looked like he was merely tickling her shoulder. However, she was thrown against the wall hard enough to knock all the air out of her.  
  
“Wait! Is that Junko and Mukuro? They were with Kurokami-san and Kumagawa-kun…” Pekoyama the unwitting audience member to this memory, reacted in surprise.  
  
“It’s just a memory. The mastermind recreated them as holograms to mess with us.”  
  
“A memory? Is… is it Junko’s?”  
  
“Junko’s… and my own.” There was no point in concealing this twist any longer, everybody in the audience already knew after all.  
  
“When did you meet Junko?”  
  
“It’s not worth explaining.”  
  
“This is boring. You do realize nothing you do has any meaning.” Kamukura said again, in a dry voice. However, now he knew those words were not his own, he had merely parroted them from the time he first met Kumagawa. Before that point he had been unable to describe, or give any kind of words at all to the feeling inside of him.  
  
“Upupupu! I knew you were a fellow nihilist. This is marvelous, but the thing is Kamukura darling, no one person should claim a monopoly on despair. It belongs to everyone!”  
  
“Despair…” Kamukura repeated, remembering the scene with perfect clarity in his mind. He could even remember Enoshima Junko’s body under his foot, shaking with laughter, the curves of her body trembling. He could remember wondering if he was supposed to derive any sort of satisfaction from that sight, her neck was so thin. Despite being a strangely insightful and violent girl, her body was like a thin porcelain doll’s, unlike her sister she seemed to have never been in any serious combat situation in her life, she looked so fragile like she could easily snap at the joints if he had applied a little bit more pressure from his foot. Yet, he did not. “From a logical perspective there seems no emotion less essential.”  
  
She slapped the ground, laughing. She did seem to laugh a lot. Kamukura wondered if that was why she had mistakenly been drawn to Kumagawa, why she mistakenly thought they were similar. However, he had met her first, he was the first one to know of her existence, she had come to seek him out and he knew why, she was curious because they were so similar. She had wanted to meet someone like herself. Even at that moment he had figured out her exact intention, but passively he let the scene play out in front of him.  
  
“Upupupupu! You crack me up! Okay, explain how I came to be in this position. What does your vulcan gestalt say about that?”  
  
“Enoshima Junko. Your capacity for cold hard reasoning puts you twelve steps ahead in any situation, yet here you are knowing full well there’s no way you can win.” He did not understand it. He could have easily escaped this school if he wanted to, but the cage would still remain around his heart. It was impossible, so he did not bother with the impossible, he did not even engae it, he simply did nothing. Yet, this girl was laughing still, rattling the bars of the cage, she intended to bring the ceiling down even if it came crashing on her. He truly did not understand how somebody like that, as dead as he was could paradoxically seem so alive at the same time.  
  
“Awe, you really don’t get it. Guess when it comes to cold hard reasoning, not all roads lead to rome.” Her smile disappeared, and instead a shadow played upon her lips, and she looked at him with one eye. At that moment, he knew even with her contacts on he was seeing the true colors of her eyes. Eyes that were just like his, that could gaze up and share the same skyline with him. “You see, despair is the true unknown. A girl can only be this smart before ennui sets in. That’s the curse of being bright. Everyone goes on, and on about hope, but what they really mean is status queue. Ah, but despair is the big old mystery box. There’s nothing like it to get the blood pumping, the synapses firing, the senses tingling. It straight up shatters the status queue and paves the way for chaos. Think about it, when one assassin’s bullet can plunge the whole of humanity into world war none of us are as far from the abyss as we’d like to tell ourselves. Embrace that simple fact and voila, you’re in for the ride of your life. Look at me, every nerve ending is at eleven. Despair did that.”  
  
“...”  
  
“Come on pumpkin pie. You’ve got to understand. They call you the world’s hope Kamukura, and how am I to say you’re not the savior. Therein lies the rub. Hope only gets us as far as what we think we want. Safety, tranquility, boredom. Come on. Nirvana looks good on paper but someone with your intelligence. You know better than that.”  
  
“...”  
  
“You’re a god among insects, of course you’re bored!” Her whole face twisted up in ecstasy. He finally realized the difference between the two of them. Enoshima Junko was as empty as he was, but she was still trying to move, and he was entirely stagnant. He was entropy. She was chaos. Even though she was empty, even though she knew she would never be full, she would devour everything around her just to have the illusion of being whole. She would never stop, and he had already stopped. How selfish of her. How entirely selfish, she had slaughtered every single guard here to make this visit possible, they were lying dead on the floor, their blood seeping into the floorboards. Human life was nothing to her, they were just toys for her to slam against each other, and then pop the heads and limbs off when she got bored. Yet, he found that selfishness to be beautiful. He was moved by it. “The world’s an ant farm! Embrace despair and we’ll shatter the glass together! It’s fate! We were destined to walk hand in hand! Tell me you don’t feel it!”

As her face twisted up with all kinds of ugly emotion, as she grew more desperate, as she tried harder, as every inch of her porcelain was shattered and fell away and revealed the terrible, pitch black ugliness that resided within her, he thought she was more and more beautiful.

Then, he stomped on that beauty, not once but several times. He brought his foot down hard enough to crack her skull, and wished he could see her brains drain out of her head. He simply could not stop himself.  
  
After all, this was the first time he had ever moved, him a completely stagnant and still being. When she lost consciousness and her sister crawled over to shield her with her body, clearly willing to die for her, Kamukura stared in utter incomprehension. Dying for a person like that that was only using her. He did not get it at all, but, this girl he could not understand in front of him, the first sight he had ever saw that confused him, twisted him up in such a way he wanted more of it.

Kamukura was brought back to reality by Pekoyama grabbing him by the wrist of his sleeve and pulling him away. “You’re just kicking a hologram. We should get out of here.”  
  
“I see. It’s a bad thing to be stuck in the past.” Hinata said, being rather thematic at the moment.  When they walked back up the stiars, the Dojo had disappeared entirely. However, the blood from the flower petal rain still remained on the floor. As he heard a plop, plop, plop from his sticky sounding footsteps, he wondered what the purpose of this blood was.

He puled open a classroom door, and watched from the sidelines. Pekoyama appeared behind him, looking over his shoulder again, standing on her toes to do so.  
  
“In accordance to my sister’s will, you will now murder each other.” Ikusaba Mukuro said, in a voice as dead of emotion as they were all about to be. A room filled with colorful looking teenagers glanced nervously at each other.  
  
“Huh? Are you crazy! Why would you do that?”  
  
“Calm down! It’s essential that we don’t give in to panic here!”  
  
She drew a gun without anybody even seeing it, and pulled the trier without hesitation. The girl’s head was shot, and exploded just like a gruesome kill in a zombie movie. She fell backwards, and all of her classmates jumped away from the body.  
  
“You have two options, and only two options. Attack your classmates and hope for the best, or end up like your friend there.”  
  
Enoshima walked by him, or at least the holographic version of her from the past. He stepped to the side and then put a hand in front of Pekoyama, protectively, he had not even thought about it it was merely reflex again.  
  
“What’s up! I’m your host, Enoshima Junko! I brought a little something to help get this party started if you know what I’m saying. You’re gonna be way less kum ba yah once I pop these open! Show them what they’ve won! Family secrets, dirty money, sex, lies, good stuff! Each tape is weapon’s grade blackmail, and you’ll notice I’ve got one for every person here.” She lounged over the black mail, like a model, before her cheerful demeanor changed in an instant and she stared forward with eyes as cold as ice. “Gosh, it’d be a shame if they got out.”

Ikusaba Mukuro took out weapons in a duffel bag, and threw them sloppily on the floor.  
  
“What is this?” Pekoyama asked.  
  
“You don’t recognize it? This was the prototype of the killing game. I suppose at first she took more inspiration from battle royale, and rather than classmates she used total strangers to test out her ideas.”  
  
“How do you know this. Enoshima did this all?”  
  
“No, she didn’t do a single thing. She’s not the one who killed them, I am.”  
  
The student council turned each other, blades, guns, a chainsaw. Kamukura watching from the shadows, saw their silhouettes violently dance against each other and get bathed in red. Pekoyama watched with the same silence, and lack of reaction, as she was used to such a sight.  
  
“What do you mean you killed them?”  
  
“I knew exactly what Enoshima was going to do. If I really wanted to, I could have stopped her and her sister with a flick of my two fingers, but I did nothing. I could have even stopped the entire student council bare handed without any risk of injury to myself and subdued them without hurting them. I’m sure in this situation that is what Kurokami Medaka would have done, but I did nothing. I simply watched.”  
  
At that point the noise had stopped. He remembered, watching the etire time, slipping through the shadows effortlessly like a background character in some anime. His eyes were the only part of him that moved effectively.  
  
“Hope is harmony. A just heart, moving toard the light. THat is all. Despair is hope’s polar opposite. It is messy and confusing. It swallows up love, hatred, and everything else. Because not knowing where you will end up is despair. Despair is even what you cannot predict. Only despair’s unpredictability can save you from a boring future. Those were the words she gave me… that was what she showed me…” Hinata said looking back at Pekoyama.  
  
Pekoyama nodded along. As usual, she was so accustomed to such bloodshed she did not react. Kamukura truly considered that Enoshima Junko must not have had to push very hard to move her to despair. 

“Your first assesment when we first met was quite correct, I possess several combat releated talents. Actually… I’m quite strong, but that strength means nothing.”  
  
“Like a sword that always stays sheathed.”  
  
“You really enjoy sword metaphors don’t you?”  
  
“Well, I suppose you could still whack a person with a sheathed sword, but it would be very blunt.”  
  
“Oh. You weren’t finished.” Kamukura heard the sound of laughter and turned on his heel in the hallway to see a hologram of a student drenched in the blood of others mixed with his own, stepping over the bodies of his classmates.  
  
“I did it. Last man standing. Them or me, right?” A chainsaw in one hand, a gun in another. He tilted back his head and laughed wickedly. Kamukura recognized that laughter in an instant, he was laughing the same way Enoshima was. In an instant he understood her goal. She wanted to fill other people up with despair, so they would become just like her, so they’d become hungry too and eat everything around them just like her. So she’d have other insatiable people to devour her as she devoured in turn. Despair spreads like a virus, a zombie virus.  
  
Then suddenly, the gun was fixed on him. He heard the click of it being aimed, as he was noticed by the other for the first time. The near death must have sharpened his senses, or perhaps he really had become more like Enoshima and had become observant just like her too. “Y-you, you’re with them, huh?”  
  
“Even armed you will not survive this.” He was told if he killed all of his classmates, he would live. However, after doing so he was going to be cut down right here. A pointless story. A tragedy. The most despair inducing ending possible. There was never any hope to begin with.  
  
He trembled in fear for a moment and lowered his gun, only to charge forward dragging his chainsaw across the ground. He swung it wildly at Kamukura, who effortlessly dodged out of the way. Even in the present he recreated those exact same moveents exactly, pushing the boy against a window and shattering it. He let the boy fall on his own chainsaw, and watched slowly as the boy’s flesh was ripped off his face, twisting up and garbling his screams into something unrecognizable. It did not take a genius to know what would come next. He turned his feet and looked away in disinterest. Odd, even in such a blood soaked hallway, wearing such a nice suit, with hair long enough that it brushed against the floor as he walked, he had not gotten a single drop of blood on him. He remained untouched.  
  
Then suddenly, a shot from the blue behind him. It streaked across his face, and his ice cold face felt something warm for an instant, as his flesh was torn by a passing bullet. He had reacted without thinking. He heard ENoshima Junko’s laugh in the background,a dn saw the headless body still gripping the gun.  
  
Apparently, even knowing he was going to die, even knowing it was compeltely hopeless that boy had struggled to the very end. Kamukura did not understand, he did not understand at all, why this weak and broken apart corpse seemed more alive than the strong and fully perfect him. He wiped his face, and as he smeared the blood against his cheek he felt his face tremble in some strange way.  
  
“Hajime… why are… you smiling?” Pekoyama asked, observing him as he was simply replaying the memory, like he was a performer on stage.  
  
Kamukura’s fingers traveled to his lips to confirm that he was smiling, his lips twitched uncontrollably with emotion. “Pekoyama. Do you know what the opposite of despair is?”  
  
“Hope?”  
  
“No, the opposite of despair is sentiment. Hope is just a status queue, sentiment is what causes others to grow and overcome, to change. Sentiment is… something I lack entirely. Do you want to know why you and Fuyuhiko were put into this game?”  
  
“How… that couldn’t have a straightforward answer, it’s just because somebody was cruel enough to put us in this game, so they could enjoy watching us die.”  
  
“No, it’s because you possess an extraordinary sentiment for him. Your bond was far stronger than any I had ever seen. I had wanted to see that kind of bond up close for myself…” He wiped off his face, even though there was no blood on it. He had become overlapped with his memory. As he realized one thing. That was the mastermind’s aim, showing him that he would have done the same thing in the past, even after coming this far, that is to say he was still doing nothing. He had not changed, despite sacrificing so many lives to try to change, to crack the bars of his cage open even an inch. “Now that I’m telling you this, do you hate me?”  
  
“...There’s no way I could possibly hate you. Not after everything we’ve been through trying to survive until this point, you were always trying so hard for me… you can’t possibly say you were doing nothing.”  
  
“See, that is completely illogical. The power of sentiment. I thought it was a power that Enoshima Junko would never have been able to grasp, so I simply used her the same way she used me and yet… there was an idiot who tried, who tried with her when I did nothing…”

 

 ♛

 

“Ummm… I’m sorry I’m not as fun to talk to as my sister. We can’t banter of anything…”

『 Mukuro-chan, you’re the only one I can ever sincerely talk with. That’s far more important than silly banter.』Kumagawa turned back and smiled at her.  
  
“Misogi…-chan…” There was something she had wanted to say to him. She had been thinking about it ever since the trial, but her loud sister had interrupted her. Kumagawa was right though, he was the only person besides Makoto who talked to her, who really talked to her like they were both people. Sometimes, she imagined Junko would talk to her the same way, tease her lightly, give her advice, joke around with her, be a little bit annoying. Kumagawa was so similiar to Junko and yet.

The two of them walked down the hallway, and suddenly it shifted. They saw the sky above them again, and were walking on the edge of a rooftop. 『Mukuro-chan to be honest, in the past we fought a lot of times in the two months after the tragedy and before we met for real. Every time I kept wondering what it would be like to talk to you. This isn’t a shonen manga, so sadly I couldn’t understand your heart by punching you in the face.』

“When did you punch me in the face?”

『Ah, sorry, sorry, it was about the time Junko was making Ultimate Despairs out of class 77-B. I remember one time I asked you whose intestines were longer if you unraveled them from your stomachs, Junko’s or yours, since you’re both twins and all. Actually, I’m still curious about that do you think we could do it?』

“Umm… no?”

『Why not?』  
  
“Because I’d have to die first?”

『 Oh yeah. I guess we can’t then.』

Mukuro walked forward, her gloved hands clasped around the gloves Kirigiri had left her. SHe nervously tightened her grip on them.  Even though they were just fakes, digital recreations, she could not bring herself to get rid of them.

『Hey, Mukuro-chan what were your parents like?』  
  
“Hmmm, they were just normal parents. They weren’t great but they weren’t terrible, and of course they never noticed what Junko was really like. They spoiled her and thought she was a little angel, and they never really paid attention to me. Junko got presents on our birthday and I didn’t, or if I did it’s because Junko told them to get me something I’d hate. Then, one day I ran away and they didn’t even bother to look for me. Why did you ask?”

『 I’m curious. I wanted to know more about you. You’re the only person I can talk to for real after all. 』

“Oh. What about you? Do you think about parents?”

『Are you asking me to be the father of your child?』  
  
“Quit it!”

『Sorry, sorry. I still don’t know how to act around sisters. In the past, I didn’t really get the differences between different types of love, it all just meshed together for me, it was quite messy. So I often found myself thinking I was in love when I wasn’t, I confused feelings of wanting a childhood friend for first love for Medaka-chan, and feelings of wanting an older sister for romantic love with Ajimu-san.』

“...What’s Junko then? If Medaka is your first love and Ajimu-san is your final love.”

『 The love of my life…』  
  
“That’s really corny.”

『Hey! I really believe it, that the three years of wandering I did, it was to find the two of you at the end... like I was searching for you two all that time, but if I told it to Junko she'd laugh for sure. Don’t bully me, Mukuro-chan you’re supposed to be the straight man!』  
  
“I’ve been the straight man for seventeen years I want to be something else for once. Oh, eighteen years.”

『Happy birthday Mukuro-chan. Did you spend your christmas nice with Makoto-chan.』  
  
Mukuro suddenly became so shy she could only blush and nod in agreement.

『I’m glad...』  
  
“But then, December 26th I learned that my sister had committed suicide and Misogi-chan had been dragged into it.”

『 ...Sorry. It’s my fault. If I hadn’t been weak in that moment, if I had pulled her up from the bannister...』  
  
“Wait… you said that a long time ago too, that you thought I was mad at you for letting Junko die… Misogi-chan do you really blame yourself for that?”  
  
『I… I was the one who forced Junko to be normal in the first place, I never understood her and it must have driven her insane enough to want to kill herself so... She jumped off that railing then, and didn’t take my hand… because I wasn’t even reaching out for the real her… that’s why this time, this time, this time...』  
  
Kuagawa was brought back to reality by Mukuro suddenly reaching forward and pulling on his sleeve. She wrapped the entirety of herself around his arm, afraid that he would go away somewhere if she let go. “You know, you’re always joking around Misogi-chan, but you’re surprisingly serious.”

『 I’m not serious. Being called serious makes me sick.』  
  
“Eh, isn’t that a compliment?”

『I don’t deserve the overestimation. I’m stupid, foolish, and I’m a clown. The word serious actually doesn’t suit me.』  
  
“Are you sure?”

『 I am. Also, I’m a coward. A liar and a coward. A character who could never possibly be a main character, let alone a hero.』  
  
“The way I see it, cowardice and being a hero aren’t necessarily incompatible. But I don’t give a shit what you think about yourself.”

『 Oh, okay. Your indifference is slightly encouraging.』Kumagwa said, smiling at her. 『 Mukuro-chan you need to understand it was my fault. I want to see you about how stupid Kumagawa Misogi is. Do you mind listening?』  
  
“I’ll always listen to you. Even if it’s nothing but terrible things that hurt me.”

『Hurt you?』  
  
“I don’t want to hear anyone bad mouthing my brother.”

『Ah…to be honest I can’t comprehend it. I’m so stupid. I don’t know how everyone else can cope with all of that? It can’t be that most people living in this world love themselves, and find themselves tolerable - everyone’s got to have something they’re dissatisfied with, something about thmesleves that they’d like, whether it’s their personality, their life, itslef, or whatever. Everyone’s got to descend into self loathing sometimes. Make that all the time. Yet, they have to wake up every morning and keep at it right? Coming to terms with it, finding the sense in it, if possible I’d love someone to each me how. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t teach Junko to do it either. Ah… that’s it, that’s why she jumped, it’s probably pointless isn’t it? No matter how many times it turns in my head, I can’t think of any way that situation could have ended. There was nothing I could to make Junko reach out and grab my hand in that moment, it always ends with he falling. Plop. 』  
  
Before Ikusaba Mukuro could say anything, suddenly just as Kumagawa had said plop a body fell from the rooftop in front of them. Ikusaba Mukuro did not recognize this moment, but she knew the moment preluding it.

Suddenly she saw herself and her sister sitting on that rooftop. There was another holographic shadow standing behind them.  
  
“A woman of your word I see.”  
  
“Okay, so. Why did I erase their memories of you? Strikes me a long walk for a short drink of water.”  
  
“I will meet them again in the not so distant future. When that happens, any knowledge of previous encountes will render them predictable, ergo boring. So I’ll be deleting my memories of them as well.” Izuru Kamukura said, his fae hidden by his long hair.

『I don’t get it at all. The more you learn about a person, the more unpredictable they become. People change when you get to know them closely, they change just by meeting you you know….』  
  
Kumagawa said, though the memory did not interact with him because he was merely a witness.  
  
“Seriously?”  
  
“I must know the truth. Which of them is more unpredictable? Is hope or despair the undiscovered territory? It’s possible that simple sentiment will outstrip your expectations and spare them. In which case hope is the true wildcard. Despite what you think anarchy might turn out to be another species of order.  
  
“Uh… yeah, whatevs. How much more screen time are we gonna waste on my philosophizing at you? Hope is harmony and the status queue, despair is total chaos. So despair’s where it’s at.” She flipped her hair behind her shoulder and threw her hands in the hair excitedly only to be let down when she saw Kamukura already walking away.  
  
“I’m talking. Hey, at least have the deceny to argue your point. COme on. Hit me with something out of left field. Say you love me!”

『Gosh, she's so needy.』  
  
"As her sister of eighteen years trust me I know." Ikusaba Mukuro whispeed back to him.   
  
“May we meet again.”  
  
Kumagawa saw it in that moment, her true smile. Her eyes closed as she showed her teeth. “Oh, it’s a date big guy! I wish I could quit you, you’re just too useful.”  
  
Kumagawa’s eyes trailed across the horizon. The useless Kumagawa. The Kumagawa had who been thrown away and quit on so many times before. He sighed and saw it, several children at once standing in the windows only to throw themselves down. They all rained, falling tragedy. He heard the plops and smashes of them again and again.

Ikusaba Mukuro and Kumagawa Misogi watched at the same time, the memory of a thousand suicides. A few ran into the flames of the burnt building.

『You should look away Mukuro-chan. Stare into the abyss and it stares back.』  
  
"Nieztsche...?"

『Somebody else said that. Awe, I thought I made up a cool philosophical statement all on my own for once.』  
  
“Is this… what would have happened if you hadn’t shown up that day?” Mukuro said, her hands tightening around her chest even further.  
  
Junko sitting on the roof, happily kicking her legs and hugging herself as her entire body shivered in excitement looked down. “Sure they were trash, but you can’t see this many people die without feeling a little something.”

“I don’t understand why you couldn’t just let them join us…’ Memory Mukuro said, looking at her sister with hesitance.  
  
“Say whaaaaaat? Uh! Because pug ugly, they have too much in common with you they’re all stupid.”

『 Stupid…?』  
  
“Even if I could reprogram their basic IQ, the overall specs would be nowhere near mine.”  
  
Kumagawa turned his head to the side and saw Kamukura and Pekoyama walking into the memory. Kamukura walked past his holographic self, walking through the image of himself with indifference and looked down to see the reserve course students, their bodies smashed against the ground into pieces.  
  
A smile spread on his face.  
A smile that looked just like Enoshima Junko’s.  
“You’re no different from them you know. You’re just another reserve course student, that doesn’t stand out in any way from the one thousand she massacred without remorse. If it weren’t for a cheat, called All Fiction, she wouldn’t have even noticed you, she wouldn’t have even seen a single detail on your face. You’d be dead, just like the rest of them, a number in a statistic…”

『 ... You think I don’t know that.』

Suddenly, Ikusaba Mukuro rushed forward. She attacked with the same murderous intent Hinata had seen her charge at him with in his memory, and he countered her exactly the same way. Except this time, when she was thorwn against a wall, as the memory disappeared and the four of them were no longer standing on a rooftop, Mukuro immediately got up on her knees and grabbed at his foot.  
  
HInata raised his foot and struck her head hard, just once, just like he had stomped on Junko’s skull. However, even that was not enough to knock her out like he had esimated it would be. “What are you… a zombie?”

『 Don’t touch Mukuro-chan. Didn’t anybody ever tell you it’s not nice to hit girls… Izuru-chan?』  
  
“I… I remember getting beaten up like this in the past. Hinata, who are you? Did… Did I know you?”  
  
“We knew each other, but to be honest you were entirely unimportant. All I cared about was your sister.” Kamukura said as he removed his foot from her. Kumagawa looked ready to jump into a fight, but Mukuro immediately forced herself up and grabbed onto Kumagawa’s dangling hand, trembling with held back anger. “Misogi-chan, don’t. Please don’t hit him. You’ve looked so terrible since you hurt Nagito. I don’t want you to hurt anybody else, ever again. When Junko throws you around or messes with you, you alays bounce back like rubber, but whenever you hurt someone, you break into pieces. Why can’t you just realize it already… you idiot…”

『Mukuro-chan. I’m sorry. Thank you for protecting your stupid brother.』Kumagawa said, as he helped her up.  
  
“What a strange sentiment. It almost makes me curious… Kumagawa you would betray absolutely anybody to prolong Junko’s existence, even Nagito. Yet, if you were forced to choose between those despair sisters, who would you choose?”

A cruel question.  
A choice with no good options.  
Yet Kumagawa Misogi knew.  
That he always had to choose. Everything was a choice. Even making no choice was a choice. Even rolling over and dying was a choice. Even in situations where both choices are terrible, there are still choices to be made.  
Yet, his eyes trembled. They looked like they were going to bulge out of his skull. Each eye looked in a different direction, and he looked like he might break in half just from considering that choice.

“Misogi-chan it’s alright. Everybody has always chosen my sister in favor of me. You were the first person that was kind enough to try to play with us both, you even lied pretending you cared about us equally...”

『Mukuro-chan. I’m so happy to have met Junko, but Mukuro-chan’s happiness is more important than my own. I’d die without Junko, but I’d lose my mind without Mukuro-chan.』

“...Huh?”

Was that? A lie? A truth?  
  
She had no idea.  
  
Kamukura did not seem to care about the answer. He merely looked at Junko’s image laughing at the dead bodies that had rained from the sky. “This is the person, both of you are trying to save.” He walked forward and put a hand on Kumagawa Misogi’s shoulder. “You will fail to save her this time, you’ll only make things worse. Just like everybody else in the past you’ve tried to save.”  
  
He remembered, his trembling hands wrapping around Ajimu’s neck. Even though he had just torn her away from his noose. Tears fell down his fae. “I… I really wanted to save you…”  His fingers wrapped tighter, starting to squeeze the life out of her. “You… I wanted you… To see me, too…”  
  
He reached forward and pried off her face after that.  
  
“You can’t save anybody. Neither of you could have saved Enoshima Junko from the start, wanting her to live is just your own selfishness, you’re just imposing on others.” Kamukura said, walking past them as Pekoyama followed behind him with an apologetic look.  
  
"Are you going to let him say that stuff?" 

『It's fine. Izuru-chan's just grumpy because he couldn't save Nagito either... actually, I'm happy to see him lashing out like this. It's like he's becoming more of a person.』

"You're always way more concerned about others than yourself... it's weird, it's like you'd let them do anything to you, you're always taking hits on purpose." 

Kumagawa suddenly turned around to Mukuro who was capable of standing on her own by now.『Do you think if I connected the dots on your freckles, I’d draw a constellation?』

  
“What is that supposed to mean…”

『 Mukuro-chan’s face is prettier than the stars in the sky!』  
  
“Awe, thanks.”  
  
The two fo them continued to walk forward, trying to look for whatever evidence was left behind for them. Finally after they stumbled into a room where the door had been left ajar, they found a pillar of light.  
  
Mukuro read the text which quickly scrolled by on it. It was an email sent from Naegi Makoto to the future foundation. _I will be going ahead with the project to salvage Enoshima Junko’s psyche, in an attempt to understand her mind. There will be familiar elements in the program, including a clone of her sister the one she killed with spears in the first killing game. This version of Mukuro will be given sympathetic memories in an attempt to reach out and redeem her sister, I will even volunteer these memories based off of my encounters with her in the past. We were classmates once, even if she eventually fell to despair I considered her my friend at the time._ _  
_ _  
_ “Huh… What… what is this?” Mukuro said reading it. SUddenly, she turned around and saw herself, a holographic image of herself wearing Enoshima Junko’s clothes, and her wig, and stabbed through with spears from every angle, blood dripping from her mouth, and her body. Then, the spears fell out and her body went limp falling forward.

『 Wow, what kind of lame horror game relies on jump scares.』

Ikusaba Mukuro looked at Kumagawa. “I never remember this happening… how is this…”  
  
“Your memories! The one that were erased! Maybe… if that’s the twist we’re going with this time.” Monokuma said, appearing from nowhere, before laughing away.  
  
Ikusaba Mukuro drifted towards Kumagawa. “Hey… it’s not a lie, right? THese memories… they’re real. I really did meet you MIsogi-chan, you really did look at me, and then because of that I was able to meet Makoto. I’ve been thinking about it so many times, the way things would have turned out if I hadn’t met Makoto… thinking maybe that was the right sequence of events and this was the wrong one. That Naegi and Makoto met, fell in love, and I died like a dog forgotten by both of them. That’s probably the right path, but… I secretly started wanting… for my own memories to be the right ones, I started to desire that even though I don’t deserve it…” She trembled, the gloves in her hands shaking with her. “Because I met Makoto, because I was saved by him, I wanted to finally redeem myself. I thought I could live without Junko, that I could be strong for myself and not her… but if I never met Makoto… then was all that strength… not real…?”  
  
Just as she looked like she was about to collapse, Kumagawa appeared in front of her again. That face of his that had been consumed by his own weakness and fear after meeting Kamukura, became strong, bounced back again for her sake. 『Makoto-chan didn’t save you. I didn’t save you. Nobody saved you but yourself, Mukuro-chan. Nobody in this world gets saved at all, it’s impossible to save others, heroes don’t exist, and neither do miracles. Nobody gets saved, people just go and get saved on their own. So, even if it’s all a lie, you can still save yourself. That’s your own strength.』  
  
“Misogi…chan…” She had wanted to be strong for him, but she ended up relying on him once again. No, this time. “Can you tell me what’s wrong, please? You said I’m the only person you can really talk to.”

“Hey… do you think it’s evil for us to save Junko? Do you think that’s the wrong thing to do?”  
  
“People don’t get saved. You just said that.”  
  
“Yeah, but people still try to save others all the time.”  
  
“Oh… I get it. Umm… I think, it can’t possibly be bad to want to save someone, right?” Mukuro said, as she walked forward and peeled off her own gloves. She picked up Kumagawa’s scar covered hands, and pulled her gloves over them. “Hey, your hands get hurt so easily, even though they’re boys hands they’re really delicate you know, and you always hold onto things so soft like you’re trying to avoid hurting them. You can wear my gloves you know.”  
  
“AH… how warm…”

“Are you worried about something?”  
  
“Don’t you think Junko seems bored? I don’t think she finds killing games as fun as she thought she would, she’s getting more unstable, and we’re not even at the end yet. I don’t think she could handle more than one.”  
  
“More than one?”  
  
“Nevermind.”  
  
“If only I were more interesting…”  
  
“It’s not your fault, MIsogi-chan. It’s Junko’s for getting so bored easily, that sister of mine really is annoying.”

『Yeah, she’s the worst.』Kumagawa said, with a sincere smile on his face. 『 I wonder what she’s going to do, when even killing games become boring to her. I wonder how much longer she’ll last.』  
  
“Whatever it is, I’m sure it’ll be something fun for you at least. You’re twisted like she is but… next time instead of trying to keep Junko’s attention all on your own, rely on me a little okay? It doesn’t matter if you’re weak, if you have other people around you. Maybe on our own, we’re just like those reserve students on the ground, worthless trash, but together we could definitely beat Enoshima Junko.”

『...』  
  
“Umm… sorry, I’m terrible at talking…”

『Mukuro-chan you don’t talk a lot, but… when you do I can’t help but listen to every word of it. 』

“It’s not boring?”

『There’s no way I could ever get bored of you!』

 

 ♛

 

“Would you just get out of my head already?”

_“Don’t worry, Junko-chan. Everybody says goodbye eventually. Even I’ll say goodbye to you one day.”_

“It’ll be the best freaking day of my life.”  
  
_“But you think every day is equally boring from the next. Awe, does that mean I’m special to you. I’m flattered. Well unlike you, I’m an adult Junko-chan. That’s why when I’m planning to go, I’ll say goodbye to you properly, and leave something for you to remember me by. I’d never be so rude as to vanish without saying my proper goodbyes.”_ _  
_

**“** I’m an adult, says the trillion year old space monster who acts like a teenager.”  
  
Kurokami Medaka turned her head and looked back. “Are you having fun talking to yourself, Enoshima?”  
  
“Yes, because I’m the only person around here with good opinions.” Junko snapped back at her. Despite spending all this time together, despite being forced to interact, despite being two genius girls who could uniquely understand each other, the two f them had not gotten along once.  
  
Fire and oil, that was how Makoto had described his relationship to her. Whenever they interacted something was going to burn brillaintly. It was different with Medaka though, more like oil and water, they simply desired nothing to do with one another.  
  
“I thought you acknowledged me.” ENoshima Junko said, sticking her tongue out at the other girl.  
  
“Yes, as an enemy.”  
  
“But enemies and friends are exactly the same to you.”  
  
“Really. I can’t remember ever having such a foolish policy. I really was a cute and naive girl in the past.”  
  
“Quit acting like you’ve changed! If I can’t change then there’s no way you could either. One of these days, you’ll go back to hero mode, maybe your hair will change white and you’ll yell about miracles too.”  
  
“What anime are you referencing this time?”  
  
“Not everything I say is an anime reference!”  
  
As the two girls continued to argue, suddenly the scene changed around them. Junko saw herself, her own past self, covered in blood. She had been covered in blood several times, but this particular moment was one she could never forget.

She stared at the Yasuke Matsuda who had experienced his last breath not too long ago.

"There's no way this would have nothing to do with me..."

There was a hint of sadness laid somewhere in that murmuring voice.

"After all...you were the most important person to me of all..."

Those were her true feelings.

Yasuke Matsuda was an especially important existence for Junko Enoshima. Ever since they were children, he always stood up for her, always continued to unconditionally love her, and above all, just being by his side made her heart feel warm.

But, she killed off that existence with her own hands. She stepped on it, forced it past the gates of despair, and brutally murdered it.

"This...this is..."

But, that's what Enoshima had desired.

She loved him so much, that irreplaceable existence, more important than anyone else, almost obsessed with him to the point of insanity, always wanting to be within his embrace, even living in a world with only him would be fine. And by losing that incredible existence, just how much despair would I fall in?

She nurtured her love for Matsuda all this time just to get a taste of that feeling. Seeing her loved one be smothered by despair during his last moments, she pretty much lived to experience that spectacle.

Finally getting to taste that despair,

"...INCREDIBLE!!"

It was more than anything she could have hoped for.

"Too depressing! Too good! My chest is gonna tear open! This is true self-loathing! I want to die! This is! This is the despair that comes from losing a loved one!"

While Enoshima's being was assaulted by that despair, she kicked Yasuke Matsuda's corpse with all her strength.

"Amazing, amazing! Amazingamazingamazingamazingamazing!"

While absorbed in screaming, she kicked the corpse of the one she so dearly longed for with no mercy whatsoever.

Flowing out of her eyes were a continuous stream of tears.

While those tears of delight, lament, and confusion overwhelmingly flowed, kicked her beloved's corpse until it was a lump of meat barely holding any resemblance to its original form.

"Upu...upupupu...upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu."

“That’s… your childhood friend, second year Matsuda… that’s your Zenkichi and you…” Kurokami Medaka stared forward in disbelief at the scene of bloodshed. “Kumagawa… he’s going to end up exactly the same way isn’t he?”  
  
“...Like you're any better. Your standards for your childhood friend were so high, he thought he had to kill himself trying to earn his love for you. Oh wait, he literally did go and do that!”  
  
“No wonder you can’t change, it’s because you’re always alone Enoshima Junko. Nobody else exists in your world except for you. You don't need anybody else, you never did, so you toss them away like trash.”  
  
Suddenly, walking through the memory, Kumagawa Misogi, Ikusaba Mukuro, Hajime HInata, Pekoyama Peko all caught up.

『 Ah, I remember this!』Kumagawa said. Suddenly, one of the corpses on the floor stood up, and grabbed the side of his face, popping his neck back into place from the twisted mess it had been a moment ago.  
  
Kumagawa Misogi stood up once more, failing to become a corpse again. He looked at the image of Yasuke Matsuda on the floor, reduced to a pulp. He staggered forward and trailed his hands through the blood, trying to put him back together in some way. Before he gave up and drove a screw straight through him.

『I… I wanted to save you, Yasuke-chan… I really did. So please… pass on beautifully.』Yasuke’s corpse from the splattered mess it had been, was returned to it’s original form in an instant, and Kumagawa Misogi brushed his hair out of his face. He left the screw in his chest as he wandered away, limping and looking incredibly weak.  
  
“He’s different than you,” Kurokami Medaka whispered in Enoshima Junko’s ear. “He’s as different from you as you are alike. He’s much more sentimental than you will ever be. You don't need him, so you'll throw him away just like Matsuda.”

After that moment, the six of them regrouped and made their way back to the trial room. Enoshima Junko gave them the directions, as she was the one who had redesigned this school into a death trap after all.  
  
While they were walking in the back, Enoshima JUnko whispered to Kumagawa Misogi. “Hey… when you saw that, what were you thinking?" 

『Hmmm…who knows I don't really think that often, I think I was jealous. Yasuke-chan getting to die in the arms of someone who loved him, I'd never get to die in such a way. That must be nice. That seems really affectionate. I'd probably be really happy, oh but I hate dying, except for that part.』  
  
"Please, get higher standards for how you're treated." Ikusaba Mukuro said, from behind the two of them. 

『But, if I don't have low standards for my happiness I'll never be happy. I need to have realistic expectations.』  
  
"You aren't going to be happy regardless." Mukuro said, sternly.

『Oh, you're right. I guess it doesn't matter then.』

Enoshima Junko cut into the middle of their bantering. "No, I mean what did you think about me?" 

『Self absorbed much? I thought.... ‘Was bloodshed ever this beautiful before? She must have really loved him, but she didn't know how to love.’』  
  
“That’s messed up.”

『 You should be talking.』Kumagawa quipped without thinking.   
  
"That's a very predictable banter response, but I'll grant you mercy this one time try again."   
  
『I have issues but you're just as bad. 』  
  
“Oh a hunter x hunter refere I approve, but... I… I don’t want that. I don’t want you to like me for reasons like that. I’m a cute girl you know.”

『What do you want then …?』  
  
"Everything."

『…?』

"You know I have to question the mastermind's game design skill. This entire killing game seems pointless. Regardless if we win or lose, no one respawns when they die, the dark side never prospers, the world doesn't end based on our actions, we don't travel across a grand world, all we did was stand in this little island, and occasionally try to solve a mystery. But... for some reason, if you're here it's fun." 

『...』  
  
"If it stops being fun, I wonder what I'm going to do. I'm losing my mind, thinking about it." 

『…?』  
  
"You want to be around me, but you don't worship me, you don't do everything I say, or anything I want, you wanted to be my equal, to share the same world with me... Even though you're completely worthless, even though you're unenecessary no one's ever... no one's tried to... you're the only one who...I don't need you, I've never needed anybody, but I want..." 

『What are you talking about, why are you saying things that you'd never say suddenly …?』

  
Before he could get an answer, the doors to the remodeled trial room opened.  
  
The investigation concluded, the trial would begin next.

The snake awaited them, laughing and hissing. No beginning or end, just like Kamukura said, the snake only wanted to devour itself. Ourouboros. The snake was sure, she could keep on laughing forever as long as she could keep watching these unfortunate children.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 _Tragedy ridden, never fit in, and dead now._ _  
_ _A life gone so quickly would it knock at the door?_ _  
_ _Fidgeting itty bitty master watches._ **_“Oh what an ugly tale.”_ **

_Sprawling and crawling down my body and throat.Melting away the decaying and beating down heart. Drink in and sink in every bit of your life._

_I’m hungry for your eyes._

_“Hey, it’s all that you had wanted and more”, and then you stayed a scary glare into the core. A bleedng tragic, heart before me. And I’m starving.  
__  
_ _You’re in the belly of the beast. Love and your ego rest in peace. And the ‘weird’ little you, will soon be born anew. jUst a monster by now, I am loving it I can’t deny._ _  
_ _Crying to god you scream out_ 『 _Why?_ 』

『 _Stop this already_ 』 _You just whine._

_Will you suck it up now? This fate cannot be unwound._

_Succeeding, succeeding, succeeding, boss to be. Can’t wait to meet!_

_Fate dream, and live, and think, and die on the ground now._ _  
_ _They fall so in love then watch it come falling down._ _  
_ _Softly, she’s snickering the smiling snake “How stupid can they be?”_

 _Ah ta-ta-tell me why I can’t get  enough_ _  
_ _Got to break it the shaking hearts that never give up._ _  
_ _Haunting their tauntingly inadequate lives. I’m buried in their eyes.  
__  
_ _Right it’s living in you crawling inside. The power digging deep able to meet their eyes_ _  
_ _In this cold as stone real tragedy you be the queen.  
__  
_ _Cheers to the years and life you’ve made, love and your ego slip and shade_ _  
_ _Hazy days all around as they come billowing down_ _  
_ _Back to page one where this story started really getting gory._ _  
_ 『 _Please give it back!_ 』 _You screech and scream_ . 『 _Stop this already!_ 』 _Quite the plea._  
_Oh you think that I care, life’s just one fated snare. Welcome to horrible pitiful fictional reality._

 _“Oh what a stupid way to live!” Try try try again you just resist._ _  
_ _You want to turn back the page, reset the actors on stage?_ _  
_ _Knock, knock it down as you’re heaving. Howling even louder screaming_  
_“Oh what an ugly way to live!”  Don’t even ask me_ 『 _Why_ 』 _again._ _  
_ _You’re just bleeding with greed, and doing time for the crime._

_Believing miracles empty, breaking into pieces plenty._

『 _Done with it all, I just don’t care!_ 』 _helpless and crying you sit there.  
__  
_ _But that’s all I will say, the end is fading away._ _  
_ _Day after day, kids of tomorrow, day after day, sunset, day after day after day,_

_“I’ll laugh in the haze.”_

~"Outer Science"


	51. I am Despair ( 2 - Graduate x Repeat)

“Enoshima, what should we expect from now on?”

“Well the sixth trial is the one where the mastermind exposition dumps the entire time and occasionally stops to ask you losers questions.”

『Junko you do realize you’re one of the losers right now, right?』  
  
“I know, how despair inducing, I could be the one doing the exposition right now but instead I’m stuck with you losers. Masterind, can I please join your side, pleaaaase!”

『Junko, I think that’s the first time in your life I’ve ever heard you say please. Wait, no Junko stay with us… It’s almost over...』

“Anyway…” Kurokami Medaka said raising her voice in between the two of them as she pushed their faces apart with each of her hands, “We’ve been here before haven’t we?”

Enoshima Junko puffed out one of her cheeks. “Yeah, looks like the mastermind was lying about that redecorating. What was the point of that investigation anyway, they didn’t even tell us about the shutdown protocol or any other exposition on the neo-world program or the outside world…”

Kurokami’s eyes immediately sharpened focusing the edge of her gaze on Enoshima Junko. “Enoshima , are you keeping secrets from us again?”

『It looks like the time limit of Junko’s helpfulness has run out. Oh well, it was nice while it lasted.』Kuagawa Misogi lamented, leaning his head against Medaka’s hand that was currently digging her well trimmed nails into his face.  
  
“Does it matter? This is the exposition phase anyway, you were going to learn it sooner or later anyway. I just decided it’s going to be more despair inducing to watch the mastermind wield those reveals at you, no spoilies! That is to say, I don’t want to spoil my own fun.”

Kurokami Medaka let go of both Enoshima Junko and Kumagawa Misogi and sighed, her sharp eyes dulling until they looked plain tired. “You are so much to deal with… and this is me saying that.”

“So you’ve finally arrived. Congratulations! You guys are the first ones ever to beat this game!” Monokua appeared suddenly at the center of the room again.

『That’s a lie...』  
  
“Shut up, River Bear! This is the sixth trial it’s the villain monologuing moment. It’s my time to shine! It was a lie of omission anyway not a real lie.”

『A fake lie then, I suppose that’s fitting for you.』  
  
“Quit interrupting your headmaster, Misogi!” Junko said, reaching over from the podium where she was standing next to him, to pinch his cheek between her nails. “Though, I gotta ask weren’t you going to redecorate this place? It’s kinda bland for a final trial.”  
  
“I changed my mind about changing the decor, well, I’m sure later I’ll change my mind about changing my mind again. Be a little bit more patient. I think that’s the only area where I surpass you as a mastermind, you poor little girl with no patience whatsoever.” The bear waddled his way to his seat at the head podium of the circle. “Besides, this is based off of your original design for the trial room. It’s an allusion.”  
  
“No, it’s not! It’s totally plagiarism, cite your sources!” Junko said, tapping the ends of her nails on the edge of her podium with agitation. Kumagawa watched her, his eyes shaking as she observed her every twitch of held back emotion, knowing Junko was the worst at holding herself back and would not last for much longer.  
  
Ikusaba Mukuro was the one to speak up in a plain voice after they had all sat around, Pekoyama, Hinata, Kumagawa,Junko, Herself, Kurokai Medaka, and Monokuma in that order around the circle. “Quit babbling on forever like Junko does it’s super annoying. Just tell us if we’re going to be able to go home or not.”  
  
“Of course, if you decide that. Look at the podium, there are two options: Graduate and repeat, right? All of you will cast your vote, and whichever one everybody chooses will be considered your final decision.” He explained, paws on his half smile holding back his excitement. “However, not choosing is a choice as well. Which means, everyone who has died up till now will have their votes treated as absences! We’ll only choose one way or the other if everybody votes the same, so if the vote is tied or mixed then we’ll simply recast the vote until we decide.”

“Ooooh, yay here comes the exposition…” Enoshima Junko said, placing her fingers, one bandaged hand and one hand covered in red finger nails over her mouth in a similiar gesture to Monokuma. Then, she immediately changed dropping the polite gesture and sticking out her tongue. “Who cares about the exposition! How fucking lame! GEt it over with already!”  
  
“Do you always do that? Look to the camera and point out what’s happening as it’s happening just so you seem like you’re the smartest one in the room with your meta self aware commentary that’s really annoying…I can’t believe I have so much in common with an annoying person like you.  Anyway, From there, an event that’s kinda like a graduation ceremony called the graduation program will begin.”

『Graduation? Wait, are there going to be any final exams? I haven’t studied… Maybe saying ‘I just want to graduate I don’t care about anything else’ was setting my expectations too high for myself.』  
  
“Don’t worry about it. This is merely a formality. I’m just doing it because that’s how it has to be. These games all have a strict formula that makes them their success right? Audiences really just want to watch the same thing every time with slight variations… this is no different from Sailor Moon really, or the first part of Evangelion, just the same formula every time.” Monokuma said scratching at the back of his head.

『 Then again, I don’t have any prospects for the future, I doubt I could hold down a job, and there’s no way I’ll pass college entrance exams. I never even once got to enjoy my rosy life as a high school student… nevermind I don’t want to graduate at all.』Kumagwa continued to spiral, ignoring Monokuma ashe was stuck in his own miserable little world.  
  
“Anyway… Even if you don’t want to do it, you guys still need to do it to solve the mystery. Oh, I guess that loser Kyoko isn’t here anymore but you still gotta.” Monokuma jumped off his podium for a moment and kicked Shuichi, who they had just… left there on the floor. The unconscious Shuichi stirred in his sleep slightly but still did not move. “See, I even gave you guys a replacement detective to help you solve this mystery… As a replacement, he’s a pretty useless fake though, like a bad chinese counterfeit of official anime merch.”

『You should really stop repressing that self loathing Monokuma-chan, your preojection is starting to get really obvious.』  
  
“Well, to be honest you don’t matter at all. There’s only one person here that matters and it’s me, and also me, the rest of you are a bunch of chumps, this has nothing to do with you so just perform your roles without complaining. So from here on out, all of River Bear’s opinions are rejected! Ah, not that it’s important or anything but Junko could you turn off that toy of yours… Oh wait sorry, boy. Your toyfriend, or boyfriend, whatever.”

『...』  
  
“H-how dare you treat him like a toy! He’s my pweciouc Misogi.” Junko said, in a cutsey voice as her personality shifted again.

『?? Junko’s standing up for me? How unexpected!』  
  
“The only one who can treat him like a toy is I, Junko…” She shifted again, covering her face with her hand and sounding like a super villain.  
  
『Nevermind, how expected, how completely expected!』  
  
“I am going to treat him like a toy do you have a problem with that? I’m the one who created everything. Puhuhuhuhu…. You’re actually picking a fight with me? I’m basically a god! I am despair! I guess this is just the nature of life… even though you’re all dumb and stupid you all started to pointlessly keep living… haven’t you even once tried dying though? Well. I guess all of your friends have. Fine then, before you die sear my power into your memories!”

 **Would you like to save your current progress?** **  
** **> No** **  
** **> No** **  
** **  
** **Proceed to the class trial are you ready?** **  
** **> Yes** **  
** **> Yes** **  
** **  
** **All Rise! Class Trial!**

“Well, shouldn’t you start things off like you normally do, Hinata dear?” The bear asked oddly politely.  
  
“Pass…” Hinata said, staring down at the floor with his red eyes.  
  
“Really, what a useless main character. What even makes him a main character anyway, all he does is passively watch and react to things? Well, I guess he’s slightly less useless than the rest of you.”  
  
“I… I’ll start the trial.” Mukuro spoke up, straightening up and preparing herself for the worst.  
  
“You? A main character? Ugh, don’t you realize? You tend to behave like a supporting character, which is such a challenge. WHen such a regrettable personality dovetails with such an unpleasant appearance the audience expects that to character to die early on. I’m really disappointing our readers this time, keeping you alive for this long.”  
  
She had gotten it. The worst. Almost as bad as what her sister said to her, Mukuro swallowed her words in her throat and stared down at the podium. With no main character to speak up, the antagonist (that’s my folks if you haven’t guessed who your lovely narrator is yet) took control of the narrative once more.

“I did say I wanted to show you guys the outside world, but this is still a questionable starting topic… Let me ask you this: What is this world’s true identity!?” The bear said after hopping up on his podium, as he cutely tilted his chin to the side and rubbed it with his paw.  
  
“Uhhhh… what, we already solved that? No duh this entire world is a simulation. It’s been glitching out since the fifth trial I don’t know how you could make it any more obvious.”  
  
“Well prove it again! Do some work for yourself for once! Really, what kind of lazy person just sits back and watches as a bunch of teengaers murder each other. Oh wait, that’s me.” The bear laughed at his own joke, an echoing, hollow, mechanical and somehow backwards sounding laughter, Puhuhuhuhuhuhu.

 **This world is…?** **  
** **> All a Dream** **  
** **> Virtual** **  
** **> Reality TV.   
** **  
** “What the hell is that?” Enoshima Junko said, tilting her head as she looked at the giant letters which had appeared in front of her face. “Your user interface design is way tacky and flies by your face too fast. If this was a video game it’d be way too hard to keep track of what’s going on, for anyone that’s stupider than me I guess, which would be everyone ever.”  
  
“Just answer the question Enoshima. This is a story you know, you’re not the mastermind this time, you’re not an audience member, you’re one of the characters, you have to make choices to proceed in a story that’s the nature of how story works.”  
  
“Would you quit yelling philosophy and meta commentary at me, that’s supposed to be my job. Fine, this world is virtual! What a completely fucking obvious twist!” As Enoshima shouted out her answer, not because she was particularly passionate but rather because she was loud by nature the prompt in front of her selected the answer and the letters disappeared. As she finished though, her face twisted from her neutral face again to her tongue sticking out, almost as if she was shifting personalities uncontorllably.  
  
“It’s a virtual world inspired by the actual jabberwock…!” Monokuma said, grabbing his belly and laughing, before he could even get a good chuckle in however he was interrupted by Kumagawa. 

『Inspired by…? Plagiarized off of, more like.』  
  
“Oh, so now the walking Komaeda ripoff is going to call me a plagiarist.” The bear growled in return.  
  
“We already figured that out a while ago, jeeeeez. Can we skip the parts that I already knoooow it’s so boring being so smart and having to sit here while you explain things for everyone else.” Junko whine, as she started to shift into her depressed personality again. “Even in a death game I’m not having fun, and I’m the only kind of person whose twisted enough to have fun in a  death game, just the worst person ever, so why do I even keep playing games if they’re not fun? Gosh, this self loathing isn’t even despair inducing it’s just empty…”  
  
“Hey, it’s not my fault that you spoiled all the reveals I was planning ahead of time. If you were more courteous to your captor and storyteller then this wouldn’t be happening.”

“You keep implying that things are my fault, but that can’t possibly be true because I’m flawless and I don’t do anything… it’s just everybody else who does things for me.”  
  
“Soooo… This isn’t the real world but you can call it the game world if you want. Basically, this was all one big game from the start? I mean metaphorically you can say life’s just a game and it’s more fun that way, but this time it literally was a game.”  
  
“Tch… Always with your games, you’re no better than Enoshima.” Kurokami said, crossing her arms and looking down on the bear in front of her.  
  
“I know, I know… The “All in your Mind” trope akes you feel such cruel despair… Are you just made, Kurokami that your precious Zenkichi didn’t die nobly at all, he was just the victim of a silly little game made up by a silly little girl?”  
  
“Then, Zenkichi died…”  
  
“Cuz it’s a game!” Monokuma repeated back at her.  
  
“Fuyuhiko died…” Pekoyama muttered, her glasses starting to fog up.  
  
“Cuz it’s a game!”  
  
“Makoto couldn’t come rescue us…Nobody… nobody here to come save us.”  Mukuro said.  
  
“Cuz it’s a game!”  
  
“...” When it was his turn to speak, Hinata said nothing at all.”  
  
“That’s right HInata, Cuz it’s a game!”

『...』  
  
“I know you’re pissed at me River Bear, but you were having fun too, right? A world where anything goes only exists in games! Your nonsensical relationship could only exist in a fantasy land. Soooo, just accept it and get on stage already.”

“Wait, if the technology exists for a virtual world then what does that make us right now? You better not say we’re fictional characters, I’ve already gotten tired of beating that delusion out of Anshin’in-san.” Kurokami Medaka asked, raising her defiant gaze at the bear. It was obvious his mentioning of Zenkichi had succeeded in triggerering temper, she was barely trying to hide it.  
  
“Noooo waaaaay, no mastermind in their right mind would ever try to pull a trick like that. If you want that kind of lame twist you’ll have to wait for the next killing game. You’re all Hope’s Peak Students you should know a little bit about your school, there was an experimental program called the Neo World Program… designed by Gekkogahara Miaya, Matsuda Yasuke, and Fujisaki Chihiro. It’s programmed to place the user in a virtual world by synchronizing directly with the user’s brain. Which means your body exists in the real world, but right now… you’re completely submerged in the game world, you’re all now officially gamers.”  
  
“You monster…” Kurokami Medaka muttered underneath her breath. She actually did not understand enough of teen lingo to know what a gamer was, and was just assuming Monokuma had called them something horrible, that’s a cloistered rich princess for you.  
  
“Simply put you’re airbenders… oh wait no, you’re avatars. Your avatars were constructed by removing a specific thing from your bodies in the real world… Now come on solve the riddle, I didn’t lie at the beginning when I told you your memories of your time in school were removed. So then, why don’t any of you remember how you got in here?”

『You told a lie of omission.』  
  
“Those don’t count as lies, we’ve been over this god!”

『 A fake lie from a faker.』  
  
**> How did you remove our memories without removing our memories of our school days?** **  
** **> You made us forget our talents** **  
** **> You made us forget our tragic backstories.** **  
** **> You made us forget a person** **  
** **  
** “That one is obvious too. Instead of wiping all of our memories at a time a total wipe of two years like I planned, you wiped all of our memories related to one specific person. The person who put us in this killing game, Izuru Kamukura.” Enoshima Junko said sliding a pair of glasses onto her face as she transitioned into a much more serious minded personality.  
  
“Who?” Kurokami Medaka said.  
  
“...” Hinata and Pekoyama both remained quiet.  
  
“That name… Why does it make my head hurt thinking about it?” Mukuro said covering her face with her gloved hand.  
  
“No, you’ve got it wrong big sis, it’s not like you have a memory block or anything it’s just the mere act of thinking alone is making your head hurt. Please stop pushing yourself past your limits like that, as your only younger sister I’m concerned. Don’t hurt yourself for my sake. I bewieve in you… I bewieve in the useless you.” She shifted into her cutesy personality, and had neve been more obviously fake.  
  
As Junko gave that incredibly fake speech in front of her, Ikusaba Mukuro’s eyebrow twitched in annoyance. “I wish Monokuma had erased your talent, then you wouldn’t be able to be super high school level annoying anymore.”  
  
“That’s right, I took Enoshima’s original idea and improved upon it. That’s not plagiarism or stealing, I was putting my own fresh take on it, like an adaptation.” Monokuma said. “Though you should prove your point to the others, you’re not the most trustworthy character. In fact I’m not the most trustworthy character either, but you guys have no choice but to accept what I say to move on. Sucks to be you.”

“Hinata himself is the proof. Kamukura-senpai, the reason you couldn’t remember your talent it’s because you erased all memories of Kamukura from yourself to go back to your old self, but no matter how hard you tried to escape the past it found you anyway didn’t it? -You know why, because the past, that pretty boy Kamukura-senpai, he must have been lonely. He must have wanted somebody to hold.” Enoshima Junko said, hugging herself. As she took off her glasses once more and shifted away from her business like persona, into a cutesy persona mid sentence again. Her transitions growing increasingly frenetic and less stable.

At her side, Kumagawa Misogi bristled.『Hey, if he’s that lonely he can just hug an anime body pillow waifu or something.』  
  
“I’ll be his waifu.” Junko said, winking at Kumagawa Misogi and not even paying attention anymore to Kamukura who was still staring at his feet.

『No you won’t be! You’re my future wife not his!』  
  
As the two of them bickered, Kamukura finally raised his head. “What she said is correct, I am Kamukura Izuru. The ghost that possesses the corpse of Hinata Hajime.”

『Then you really are lonely and just looking for a hug?』  
  
“No, that was obviously her attempt at humor. For such a clown you seem to have no idea when that woman is joking.”

『That woman? Her name is Junko you know. You keep insisting that you’re the only one who understands her, but you’re not even treating her like a person.』  
  
“What kind of strange love triangle drama is this unfolding in the final round? I thought  this was supposed to be a murder trial, we already did the love comedy arc last arc…” Kurokami Medaka said, staring in bewilderment.  
  
“I know isn’t it amazing…Maybe they’ll fight to the death just like Misogi and Matsuda-kun did. Amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing…” Junko said, excitedly smiling between her teeth. She did not even seem to notice that her teeth were chattering so hard that she was shivering in excitement.

“You stop that…” Kurokami Medaka said, annoyance creeping into her normally stoic voice. “It’s obvious you only have interest in Kumagawa of all people. If you’re going to take Kumagawa my favorite enemy away from me you could at least treat him right, if you pushing him away and pulling him back like a yo yo the string will snap eventually.”  
  
“You mean like what happened to Zenkichi when he got tired of spending every living moment of his life worshipping you and kissing your ass in dedication to how great you were.” Junko said, and the two girls immediately glared at each other forgetting that everybody else including Monokuma was there.

『 Still poor Izuru-chan, everybody forgot him so easily. I guess that’s what happens when you don’t have any friends.』  
  
“Then…if Enoshima’s original plan was to conduct a killing game in a  real world, why bother engineering an entire virtual world? None of this would affect us in the real world right… everything should be fine if we make it to the real world, right?” Kurokami Medaka said, still obviously clinging to hope.  
  
“You really don’t understand lies after all this time... So much for that character development.” Monokuma shook his head.  
  
It was Kumagawa Misogi who answered for her. 『 If a lie is a believable lie… It might just become the truth. Who cares if it’s just all fiction, to our brains it might not be, if we remember getting hurt or being stabbed in this game then it might as well have happened in the real world because it was real to us at the time.』  
  
“Kumagawa… you always understood things like lies, flaws and people much better than me. If you had explained this stuff to me earlier, I would have listened to you, I would have grown I think… but all you care about recently is Junko.” Kurokami said, looking down on him.

『Medaka-chan you shouldn’t speak like that, nobody would want to read a story about a love triangle where I’m the main hero. I’m not Makoto, I can’t b a harem protagonist.』  
  
“Hey, be nice to Makoto he’s not even here to defend himself!” Mukuro snapped at him.

『Sorry, sorry. That’s the truth though, this world is all lies, it’s all fiction.』  
  
“That’s why nothing any of you guys did from the beginning mattered from the slightest, because from the word go the entire world was in my control. It’s just a fictional story, a game, none of the events that happened inside even mattered it was just a part of the game! So, you guys don’t have to feel guilty at all for letting all your friends die! Do you think characters in books feel bad when they screw up? No, because it’s not their faults, it’s just the authors. Just keep playing along to my scenario you have no choice but to accept it…” The bear continued to ramble. “Oh, none of you guys matter of course but one of you losers did bring up a good question. Let’s ask that one before we proceed.”

 **> Why did all of this have to take place in a virtual world?** **  
** **> The narrator cares way too much about being meta. ** **  
** **> So you could play fun minigames during the trials. ** **  
** **> Kenshiro voice: You’re already dead!**

Enoshima Junko looked forward with completely empty eyes. “This game couldn’t take place in the real world, because I… Enoshima Junko, am already dead in the real world. I could only continue on living in a virtual world if you uploaded my past consciousness and memories.”

The truth is.  
The truth is it was all a lie.  
That’s what fiction is to begin with, one big lie.  
  
“Hey, come on Kamukura you’re the one who set all this up. Why are you making me do all the heavy lifting with the exposition?”  
  
Kamukura himself was just another lie, one told to the hopeful reserve course student Hajime Hinata. Lies could only exist and matter as much as the truth in this virtual world, a lie could never keep existing in reality. That was why reality hated and feared Kumagawa Misogi so much, the biggest liar of the all, but Kamukura was quite an impressive liar too in his own right.  
  
“I’m not the one who did this. I did nothing.” Kamukura repeated in a voice without any inflection at all. Kamukura, an entirely colorless existence. No wonder he could remain so colorless, so pure like a god, he had never confronted anything, he had never done a single thing on his own.  
  
“Well, there you have it. Your protagonist folks! He stole away all of you into this virtual world but in the end he couldn’t even bring himself to be the mastermind. That’s your main character, he’s just a whatever those are called, a perspective character, he has no personality at all he was just here to sit back and watch the rest of you…”  
  
“Hajime…” Pekoyama said her voice straining in sadness.  
  
“You didn’t do anything? How lazy…” Kurokami Medaka looked down on him.  
  
“God, I’m never going to get a good quality main character at this rate. Maybe if Zenkichi had survived, but the rest of you here are all supporting quality sheep at best. Not that you matter anyway…” Monokuma said, and with a snap of his fingers the ever shifting stone background, the indecisive background behind them finally shifted again.  
  
It undid itself like a rubix cube, and then revealed behind it more walls upon walls of falling letters and passing numbers all around them. Between the letters, there was the most basic of 3d holographic framework, as if the software had been building some kind of elaborate design and then gave up halfway through. Think early CGI in tron, big, blocky, shapes that pop culture assume that would be what the inside of of a computer would look like in the early nineties for some reason.  
  
“Whoa, way to rip off the matrix…” Enoshima Junko said, eyes looking dull, unimpressed. Her head lolled to the side as her facial features began to droop and she grew mushrooms out of her hair. “I can’t believe the last trial is this disappointing and repettitive, I can’t even feel despair at this just unimaginable emptiness.”  
  
“I am not a ripoff!” Monokuma snapped at her once more.  
  
“Who cares if it’s a lie…? My friend Hajime would never hurt us, I know it. He must have put us in this virtual world to safeguard all of us, after all if we die in this world then it’s not like anything will happen to us in the real world. Dying in games doesn’t matter…” Pekoyama said as she rached over to grab Hajime by the sleeve. “The people who’ve died so far, they’re just fine right? That’s why you put us in this virtual world, it’s all just a game, so everybody will turn out to be fine in the end right?”  
  
“...” Hajime turned his red eyes on her, and saw the swelling amount of hope in her eyes as she clung to him. This illogical belief in him after he had betrayed all of them, this sentiment, he could not tell if Pekoyama was being strong or weak in this moment. He really did not understand sentiment at all. So he said, and did nothing.  
  
“Puhuhuhuhu…”  
  
“What’s so funny Monokuma? It’s a lie, right?” Pekoyama repeated, those words giving her hope and making her look mad at the same time.  
  
“A believeable lie might become the truth, I can’t believe I’m saying this but you should listen to Kumagawa just this once…”

“D-don’t tell me… you mean… !?”  
  
“The neo-world program isn’t just any game, it’s next gen software containing the ultimate reality. If a player’s avatar experiences death, their brains inside their actual bodies will stop functioning too! If you die in the game, you die for real!”  
  
“Tha… that’s fine then. We’ll all just choose to graduate and escape this world now, and then Kumagawa can revive them just like Enoshima said. They can still all come back as long as we escape, that’s why we sacrificed Nagito…”  
  
“Gosh, I thought you were going to cut through the leis to find the truth with your sword or whatever…” The bear cutely tilted his head to the side once more. “I can tell you the truth about this game, but there’s nothing I can do about your delusions unfortunately. You should know better than to trust Ensohima, a lying, liar, who lies. Does it occur to you, she might have lied to you?”  
  
“Y-you… you can’t bring them back? Kumagawa-senpai, once we’re out of here just use your all fiction and…”  
  
“No duh. God you guys are easy to trick. Pekoyama you were so focused on your loved ones, you forgot that even somebody like Nagito had a loved one too, and deemed him an acceptable sacrifice, and now you’re both miserable. Nobody was happy in the end, what wonderful despair!” Enoshima Junko said, looking first to Pekoyama, and then to HInata the person that Pekoyama had betrayed and made just like her by destroying Hinata’s hope.

“But… All fiction… you can.... That’s not what I wanted…”

『I’m sorry Peko-chan. A minus doesn’t ever work how you want it to.』  
  
“That’s right, there’s no way a loser like River Bear would possess a cool power like raising the dead. All he can do is close his eyes, shut his ears, and dissociate himself from the things that happened, all he can do is a lame thing like undoing.” Monokuma said, joinining in.

『 If we do escape and I undo everybody’s deaths, then we’ll never have escaped in the first place, they’re too vital to the sequence of causality.』  
  
“Th… then, just undo the fact that we were ever in the game in the first place! You can do that, right? Why… why won’t you do that? You would save everybody! You could be the hero this time!”

『I wouldn’t save everybody...』  
  
At that moment Pekoyama Peko remembered why they were in this game in the first place, because Enoshima Junko had died in the real world. This world was the only one in which she could exist, it was a therapy program meant to heal the brains of others and therefore… this program was the only hope of saving her. If he undid their entry into the program, then Enoshima Junko would have no chance to be saved. “You… to save her… you…”

『 For her sake, I’d become a monster or even a villain I don’t care.』  
  
“Would you quit flirting! This is supposed to be a murder trial!” Monokuma snapped at Kumagawa.  
  
“There was never any hope then, there was never any hope of seeing Fuyuhiko to begin with…” Pekoyama said, her glasses fogging up all the way now.  
  
“Peko…” Mukuro said in response, looking at both Kumagawa and Junko. Those were the people she wanted to save, but… they were also creating all this misery. Those two could never be called main characters, and in that note for caring about them so much she could never be called a main character either. “Then the Junko left in the real world too?”  
  
“Not dead, not quite. That’s why it’s actually crueler instead. All that’s left are empty husks. Well, maybe she was always like that to begin with…I guess it didn’t have to be that way but, well nobody’s gonna have fun with a game where you don’t die when you’re supposed to, right? It’s no fun if there’s nothing on the line, isn’t that what you said Enoshima?”  
  
Junko, annoyed again tapped her finger nails on the podium. “Hey, quit stealing my material and reflecting it back at me, that was my line!”

“Come on Enoshima, there’s a reason I keep stealing your ideas and rehashing your lies. Think about it, who is this game centered around, who is this all about?”

Just then, Ajimu Najimi spoke in Enoshima Junko’s ear.  
“ _Remember, this was nothing more than a rehabilitation program to begin with then this bear infected it like a virus and robbed me of my powers. He turned it into a death game instead . The first round a hostage was taken to force the start of the killing game, the second round the motive told everybody about the killing game you hosted in the past, the third round you were infected with a despair sickness and so was Kumagawa MIsogi and Kurokami Medaka the only two people who would bother to protect you, the fourth round you were locked away alone in that funhouse to starve to death and Monokuma made a clear exception and made the  motive that was supposed to apply to everybody only apply to the two of you. In the fifth round, Komaeda’s intention was to commit suicide and frame you for his murder. Everybody’s suspected you as the mastermind from the beginning, and every round the mastermind does all he can to nurture their anger towards you. That investigation just now was barely about the neo-world program at all, he was showing everybody else all the sins you committed in the past against others. He’s fostering their anger against you.”_

 **Who’s the most important person here?** **  
** **> Enoshima Junko** **  
** **> Enoshima Junko** **  
** **> Enoshima Junko** **  
** **  
** “That’s right, it’s all been about you to begin with. The sole purpose of being placed inside of this program, was to restore you from your previous state of being, and to untwist that twisted mind of yours. The reason you’re all suffering is because of her, just this once Enoshima Junko is not deluded. This world was designed entirely around her by the future foundation…but don’t you think it’s better that I infected this program and turned it to a killing game? There’s no hope of rehabilitating a girl like that in the first place, she’s better off dead. Too bad none of you are competent enough to kill her.” Monokuma said, before taking a pause as he looked at the shifting background behind him. “Well anyway, there’s not a single good main character here so I had to import one from a previous save to pick up the slack! Make sure you’re all polite to your new transfer student! Otherwise if you’re all rude to him he’ll turn into another reprehensible transfer student like River Bear.”

“You guys! It’s not your fault! It’s not the future foundation’s fault either! Everything from the start, it was all Enoshima Junko’s fault, it always is!” Suddenly, he was standing right in the middle of all of them like he had never left.

“...Makoto?” Ikusaba said, her voice cracking as she did. Suddenly all the emotion that was lacking in her normal speaking voice came back at once. “I was waiting for you for so long.”  
  
Monokuma suddenly interrupted them. “Before you guys run into each other’s arms and make out, how about an intermission?”

 ♛ **Intermission Zero: Planning the School Trip** ♛

He wished the world would sway side to side. He wished for any kind of movement at all. Sitting here like this, in a dark room, perfectly still, silent, the only noises produced by him were the soft tappings of laptop keys and the only light was the pale glow from its screen, reflecting off of his colorless skin perfectly. His skin was just like him, because it had not gone outside, it did not reflect anything at all, not even the suns rays. The shadow suited him, it wrapped around him in the tangles of his far too long black hair. Even though there was no breeze inside at all, he could swear sometimes in the low light he saw some part of his hear twitching. Perhaps that hair, which was all that really identified him as who he was, his long hair, and his red eyes, without those features side effects of the surgery he would be nobody at all, a plain faced nobody, a character design that could easily be swapped out for any part of the population. Sometimes he suspected those long hairs falling in front of him, always obscuring his view, always swarming around him was nothing more than a den of snakes appearing from his head. He could swear, he saw his hair slithering around from time to time, as if it had a mind of its own.  
  
However, he was well versed in human psychology and he knew humans saw form in describable chaos, and recognized patterns that were not there all the time. His hair was not made of snakes, it did not move on its own or have a mind of its own, that was all simple projection because he desired it to be so. He desired to see something more interesting of the predictable world in front of him, he wanted it to shake intensively. But no matter how much he waited in silence, no matter how much nothing he did the world refused to move at all. He looked down and saw his own hands. Slowly, they started to tremor, as they did his heart beat picked up a little bit. Could it be, the thought of what he was about to do was enough to even move the immovable him. Any doubts from his mind cleared at that moment, but then again perhaps it was a bad thing that they did, after all he wanted to be clouded with doubts, he wanted to feel regrets, he wanted things to be not so clear. Anything that would disrupt these all seeing red eyes of his, because he did not have the courage to gauge them out hiself.  
  
It was comforting. He never thought not knowing what to expect could be so fun, so he was feeling rather excited. However, all of this guilt, all of this hesitation, he figured he would get bored of this feeling soon enough. He could not enjoy it while it was happening, all he could do was think of how next best to stimulate himself.

That’s what he was expecting.  
For him, a person who was loved by talent and nothing else.

Suddenly, just then the door cracked open and a beam of light pierced through it. Walking through that beam of light, a pale boy, with pure white hair that spiraled in every direction. He was holding a tray in his hands. “Do you.. Like the dark?”

“It makes it harder to see… which makes this work slightly more difficult.”  
  
“Oh, I understand you’re putting pressure on yourself so it’ll make your talent shine all the brighter, like a writer who heavily drinks and goes to a cabin in the woods to write a masterpiece without maintaining his mental health.” The boy said, walking around him, everything about him his logic that barely connected sentences together, his thin appearance to the point of looking handsome rather than malnourished, his hair which puffed up in the air, the way he walked around Kamukura as if dancing, all of it had this floaty feeling. Like this boy was not of this world, like he was not even there. Kamukura really could not believe such a person existed, by all logic they should be boring. They would become boring eventually though, that was what he predicted. That was why his body was stirring so much, shaking, all on its own for once, he did not need the world to shake first to move him.  
  
Anyway, the boy was half right and half wrong as usual. He had grasped the underlying idea better than most people would, that he was making things more difficult for himself on purpose, but he had just projected his own ideas on top of that. Kamukura could figure why easily enough, because he was nothing more than a blank slate to begin with, because he had no reason for doing what he did, and he did nothing, like a silent serial killer in a cheesy slasher movie anybody could just write any motivation on him that they wanted because he gave so little away on his own. However, the white hair boy’s guess was wrong. He had no desire to shine at all. He was pitch, a stretch of still and unmoving darkness, so large and massive it suffocated any light.  
  
“...”

“Haha, you looked like you were having fun on your own, so that’s what I assumed… You do like the dark, right? If not you could turn the light on.”  
  
“Oh, there are lights in this room. “  
  
“Haha… you just realized that now?”  
  
“...Do you really need to laugh like that at everything I say? Or light up and smile every time I say something to you? Is what I say really that funny?”  
  
“... No, I don’t think you’re funny. Nononono. I mean you have the talent of the super high school level comedian so you must be funny to some extent, but I’m not smiling because you’re funny it’s more like… no, you’re right I shouldn’t be smiling in the first place. Even if I’m just happy to be talking to you, that’s no reason for trash like me to smile and enjoy myself.”  
  
‘...That’s not what I…”  
  
“Hey, if you want, care to talk a little? You should take a break since you’re almost done. Matsuda-kun is kind of acid tongued… haha, not that I don’t deserve people being cruel to me for taking up their precious time.”  
  
“Why do you think I would want to talk?”  
  
“I’m sure, the silence is starting to bore you a little, right?”  
  
Kamukura’s world was entirely still, empty and silent, lacking color and light, but it was a world of his own creation. He never bothered to leave his room, did as little as he could. He never looked at the sun, he never attended class, he never got into arguments with his classmates, all of the things which would color a students life he never bothered to participate in. Not only was his current self like that, he also suspected his past self despite having a normal life, never participated in what one would call the normal high school experience either. He simply looked up at Hope’s Peak, and never once appreciated what he had, he was always looking for more. He did not interact with others, and therefore he was alone, it was simple as that. Yet, there was a boy brown uniform jacket, and a red and green sweatervest currently pestering him, trying to get him to talk.  
  
He had no idea why. As boring as he found others, he knew himself, his own existence was the most boring one of all. The overfamiliar attitude, the friendly smile, it was just a mask Komaeda was wearing, but part of him longed not to see what was under the surface of that mask, he wished he could simply put on a mask and go out and interact with the world, seeing what everybody else saw, not even noticing the masks, the strings, the farce of it all. He wanted to believe Komaeda’s smile was the real one, and that Komaeda really smiled because he was happy to see him.  
  
Yet, he knew that could not be possible. People could only smile at other people, they could only love other people, they could not love gods after all. Komaeda did not find Kamukura’s own feelings boring because he did not care about them, he simply wanted to project whatever his feelings were upon Kamukura, upon a completely blank slate. Kamukura felt betrayed by this, that was why… that was why he was so troubled at the moment. The first time he had ever felt hesitation, even slaughtering children, even rioting hope’s peak, even setting a powder keg to destroy the world, he did without any hesitation, that is to say he did nothing as all of it happened.  
  
“You know, when we met it was a while since anyone was willing to talk to me. I was happy to share a room with a person like that no matter how short. Yep, I’m definitely lucky!”  
  
Komaeda kept on talking, even when Kamukura said nothing in return.

“Lucky?”  
  
“Yeah, I’ve been turning it over and over again in my head whether meeting you was good luck or bad luck, I even asked the question the first time I met you that day, but I’m sure now… this is good luck. Perhaps, it’s the only real good luck that’s ever happened to me in my life.”  
  
“...”  
  
“Almost as if a life’s worth of suffering was what led to you.”  
  
“...”  
  
Ah, sorry I said too much. I shouldn’t talk about good luck after all, nobody cares about good luck or bad luck after all, it’s just a boring talent.”  
  
“I have luck too. Do you think it’s boring when I have it?”  
  
“N-no, of course not. Your luck must be more wonderful than mine, and I’m sure in your hands it’s unlimited power.”  
  
“Then, don’t call it boring for yourself. If I find it boring I’ll tell you, if I don’t find it boring I won’t say anything.” His speech was getting more relaxed, he was using more contractions than usual, what exactly was it that was causing this change. A moment ago, every muscle in his body had tightened up like he was made of stone. “I was thinking it might have been my good luck which led us to meet.”  
  
“Haha, now way! Meeting me could never be considered good luck for anyone.”  
  
Kamukura sighed. He knew it was going to end like that if he tried to reason with Komaeda. It was always like that in the end, ever since they had first met.  
  
“Ah, sorry did I do something wrong? I’m being terrible at conversation again aren’t I? I’m sorry I keep talking it’s just I don’t like the silence… I thought I could help you if I kept talking because maybe you don’t know what to say, but that’s obviously just me being presumptuous and speaking out of my place.”  
  
“How boring…”  
  
“S-sorry.”  
  
“Not you… This world.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“This world is full of boring people. People who lack talent stick together and oppress those who do possess talent… Even though they know they’re insignificant they don’t try to acknwoledge thei true superiors. They are profoundly desperate to drag others to their level. Kumagawa Misogi isn’t special at all, this world is filled with bastards like him. There’s nothing special about this world either… that’s why we should make a new one.”  
  
“Yeah, that was the plan wasn’t it? I’m so grateful you included me, I’ll try my best to be of help to you. All you need me to do is lure them into the program, right?”  
  
“No, you’ll be going in as well.”  
  
“Oh? I’m honored you need me by your side. Well, you’ll probably just be using me as one of the victims in the murders right? I don’t care, I’ll appreciate what little time I have by your side. Oh, and I’ll do my best to keep the secret, even if I’m stupid and unreliable I’ll try my best to keep my mouth shut as long as I can. Well, it’s not like anybody listens to me anyway because I just keep talking and talking…”  
  
“That will not be a problem.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Forget about it for now. I just know everything will be better when a boring person like Kumagwa Misogi is deleted. Boring people like him make no contribution to the world at all, they affect things no less than a pebble on the side of the road. That’s what my teacher taught me at least, they need to learn their place.”  
  
“Oh, is that what you’re trying to do?”  
  
“Listen well: using people is a talent, too. I allowed that person to use me in the past, but she failed to keep her promise to me. She didn’t show me something interesting. In the end she became boring like everyone else. So, now it is my turn to use that person just as they used me in the past.”  
  
“That person. Are you talking about the Ultimate Despair? But how they’re already…Oh, so that’s your plan. Hahaha! I’m so lucky, I can’t believe I’m talking to an amazing person such as you. Then, will I be able to see her again? The person I hate with every fibre of my being this time? Then, will I be able to kill her this time?”

“That’s what I predict will happen, yes. Though it’s of no concern to me. I will not be able to participate in what lies ahead.”  
  
“Huh? What are you... ?”  
  
“When we enter the program, you will forget about me, and I will forget about you. Any memories of previous experiences could render us predictable, ergo boring.”  
  
“Wait… no, I’m having second thoughts.”  
  
“You have second thoughts about everything, you always leave a foot in the door.”  
  
“No,no,no,no,no,no, I’m serious this time. Everything else is fine, I don’t care if I’m hated, and I don’t care if I die, I don’t care if you’re just using me in the end, but please don’t make me forget about you.”  
  
There it was. That was what he wanted to see. The betrayal in Nagito’s face, that ever present smile finally disappearing. Nagito was betrayed over and over again by the world, but he always took it with a smile. He never got close enough to anybody to feel any kind of betrayal, he was always expecting bad luck. Kamukura had wondered if he would show him a new face if he kept this detail to himself, so he did.

He thought he understood it a little now. Why Enoshima Junko who could only use others and only stand on top of their bodies piled in a mass grave, falling from the heaven’s and piling up so she could walk higher and higher, he understood now why such a person bothered to love people. The worry and betrayal in Komaeda’s face would not make him feel what he did if he had not bothered to get close, it would just be another boring person, feeling boring emotions, their entire existence boring.

If he turned up his nose at everything boring and never bothered to participate, then everything would be boring. He was sure he had heard advice like that leave Kumagawa Misogi’s mouth at some point., it was annoying that a tick sucking the life blood out of Enoshima Junko could be right like that.  
  
Still, he felt a bit of hesitation. His hands trembled as he stood up suddenly cutting off Nagito’s escape. That was right, Nagito had been so afraid he dumped the tray and the tea he had made on the floor and ran for the door. Kamukura was suddenly in front of him, and just as quickly his hands were around his neck.  
  
“Please… please, don’t…” Kamukura was sure he had never seen Komaeda cry. Despite how miserable the boy was, he was not the type to cry. Yet at the moment tears were welling in the corner of his eyes.  
  
“I can’t stop now, this is for hope after all.” Kamukura said, his fingers interlocking and closing slowly around Koameda’s neck. He had such a pale, beautiful neck, it was so thin too, Kamukura was well aware how fragile the other boy was, if he even twitched his hand the wrong way he might break the boy’s neck. He squeezed, slowly and methodically, without any emotion at all (he felt especially bad about this part because he wanted it to be a crime of passion, he didn’t want to think he cared so little about Nagito that he could strangle him like this with a perfectly clear head). All the while the boy’s lips kept moving, pleading with him, but as there was no air passing through them no noise came out. Until at last, the boys eyes rolled back and a single tear fell from the corner of one of his eyes, as is giving up.  
  
After Komaeda lost consciousness, Kamukura was much more gentle. He picked him up bridal style, and carried him like he was christ’s fresh dead body taken off the cross. He made sure to be as slow as possible, as he carried him all the way down the hallway to Matsuda, because this was his last time seeing the boy after all, and soon he would even forget that last time memory.

 

 ♛ **Intermission Over** ♛

 

“Ugh, whatever Makoto’s here now. Of course he was going to show up. Life if just a straightforward river with no turns or twists, so predictable it’s depressing…” The color drained out of Junko’s face and she lurched forward as she shifted into a depressing persona.

『 Hey, I’m the only river here... Huh? Junko are you bored already? But this is the last trial the most exciting on! Come on, Makoto’s here, your natural born rival, the oil to your fire, smile Junko?』  
  
“What’s the fucking point? He’s just going to spew some garbage about hope, and I’m going to spew some garbage about despair, it’s totes overrated by this point!”

『Whaaaat, but you love arguing about hope and despair. Come on Junko, just participate it’ll be fun I promise.』  
  
“How about I let those kiddos dook it out, and then I just watch! Really, it’s getting unbeaaaarably boring right now!” Junko said in her monokuma voice, picking up a plush version of the bear she had stolen from the factory and holding it in front of her face.

『It’s so impossible to argue with you when you’re doing the perosnality shiting this. Of course you got bored… it’s always like this.』  
  
“My name is Naegi Makoto, a former student of Hope’s Peak High, and right now a member of the future foundation…” The boy said, standing in front of them, wearing a green sweater over his blazer, the classic main character look that he mistakenly thought was stylish.  
  
“Makoto? We… we umm know who you are…” Mukuro said, feeling something was off about this. As happy as she was to see Makoto again, even when she called out his name, he had not looked at her yet, not even once. Perhaps she was just being greedy, wanting to have him all to herself after finally seeing him again. He had come to save all of them though, she knew this for sure.  
  
Makoto simply looked away from her, not daring to meet her eyes. It was a terrible feeling, almost as if she had disappeared. She wanted him to look at her again, even if it meant pestering him. She did not want to disappear entirely from his sight. Merely reflecting in those eyes had been enough for her, just being looked at had moved her heart so why… “Makoto… hey? Why are you being cautious of us?”  
  
“Of course, I don’t mind rescuing you guys. But before that…” He suddenly pointed straight at her like he was accusing her, Mkuro felt her heart skip a beat. “You all need to fully accept the situation you’re in! You need to stop believing the convenient and comforting lies that Kumagawa tells!”

“What…?”  
  
“It’s not just this entire world that’s a lie, it’s your memories as well! Do I really have to spell it out for you, Monokuma left you guys so many hints you just never bothered to complete that plot on your own…” Harshly, violently, he slammed his hand against the pedestal. It shook, and that the same time a shiver ran through Mukuro’s entire being. “Do you really believe the end of the world never happened? That Kumagawa Misogi just performed a magic trick and all that death and destruction was undone? That’s way more unrealistic than all of you being uploaded into a virtual world but you swallowed that lie so easily.”  
  
“It’s not… it’s not a lie.”  
  
“Don’t you see what Monokuma did? Instead of taking away your memories, he implanted false ones. That Hope’s Peak Academy was never destroyed, that the tragedy never happened, that all of you were living peaceful lives as normal students when tragedy suddenly struck again. He gave you those memories so you would all grow comfortable, fat and stupid!”  
  
“Stu...pid… fat? You think I’m… those things… that Junko calls me…But Makoto we met, we were classmates, I remember…”  
  
“Listen, the Neo World Program has another name the Hope Restoration program. You all already saw the files. The first klling game really did take place, and Enoshima Junko died at the end of it. The bodies of her sister and herself were recovered so were several members of Ultimate Despair. Then, the Future Foundation decided against my recommendation to try to study Enoshima Junko’s brain, as well as the brain of those who she had thrown into despair around her. Memories were extracted from both you and Junko and installed into this program, however in order to make sure you were not going to side with your sister, a false story was invented where you fell in love with someone to give you hope. I’m sorry, but we analyzed your memories and decided to indulge your little fantasy. Isn’t that convenient that what you secretly wished for all along would come true? That a boy would fall in love with you and come save you from your mean sister? That someone quiet, who can’t do anything, or can’t speak up for herself would be the real heroine rather than Kirigiri…”  
  
“Why… why are you… a fantasy… I didn’t, I didn’t do anything wrong. I would have been fine if you and Kirigiri got together and all I could do was watch from afar, I really loved you.”  
  
“If you didn’t do anything wrong, then why are you the one standing here rather than Kirigiri? I… I’m sad that I lost you as one of my classmates, but you living instead of her was pointless. You’re just Enoshima Junko’s pet attack dog from the start, neither you nor her could ever be saved.”  
  
“You… you aren’t going to save me…”  
  
“Anyway, to continue my explanation, the mission sent the best and brightest of the Future Foundation, Kurokami Medaka and Hitiyoshi Zenkichi as well as project head Naze Youka, and two monitrs. Ajimu Najimi and Kumagawa Misogi, aritificial intelligence programs who were meant to smooth over your memories, and create a convenient fictional story to stabilize all of you. One where all of your problems were simply undone.”  
  
“You… you aren’t here to save us…?”  
  
“Ikusaba are you even listening? I told you to face reality before you can be saved. It’s pointless clinging onto fantasies that were never true in the first place. Or are you going to tell me you believe in a liar like Kumagawa Misogi over me, the Ultimate Hope? Listen, there’s no way a girl like Ajimu Najmi can exist in reality, non humans with trillions of powers aren’t real. If somebody like Kuagawa Misogi really did exist, he would have died in the gutter like the dog he was a long time ago. If he had really endured all of that there’s no way somebody filled with so much despair could be kind, he’s not someone you can believe in, he can’t give hope to others, because he never existed in the first place…”  
  
As he continued to lecture her, Ikusaba Mukuro’s expression went cold. It was an expression only Kumagawa Misogi and Enoshima Junko could recognize, because it was the expression she made right before she was about to kill. Like a yo yo being swung back and forth too violently, Ikusaba Mukuro had snapped.  
  
“You didn’t come here to save us? Junko and I couldn’t have been saved to begin with? Bullshit. Then you’re not the real Makoto.”  
  
“...Wha?”  
  
“The real Makoto would try to save anyone! I already know I don’t deserve to be saved, that only an idiot would try to save me! That’s how Makoto is, he’s an idiot who would try to save anyone! Even Enoshima Junko, the girl he hates the most! He’d still reach out a hand and say he didn’t want her to die. That’s why, you can’t possibly be him. Makoto is an idiot but he’s my idiot, so stop imitating him. You can’t have him, if you try to take him again I’ll kill you.”  
  
“You can’t possibly believe that’s true! Nobody would try to save Enoshima Junko, there’s no hope in that.”  
  
“What kind of Makoto would ever say there’s no hope in anything? You don’t even understand his character at all! Come on show us who you really are! Quit with this half assed imitation!”  
  
“There’s no way that what you remember could be the truth. It’s way too convenient don’t you think, it’s like what would happen in a story, what are you-”  
  
“Shut up already with that! You’re the one whose saying it’s impossible, it can’t be true, but your Makoto imitation is the impossible one, saying things that he would never say. I’ll believe that Ajimu Najimi is a space wizard with a billion super powers, and that Kumagawa Misogi can retcon reality as he pleases and change all the bad writing in the original source material like he’s some kind of reckless fanfic author before I’d believe that Naegi Makoto would say that anybody is hopeless!”

“...Tch…”

『Yaaaay, Mukuro-chan. You show them!』  
  
“....Tch, tch, tch, tch, tch…” Naegi Makoto gritted his teeth and tilted his head to the side, his eyes rolling wildly as he did. Then, he spoke in a voice that was not his own. “I was wondering what would happen if I let you live until the last round this time, but you’re just a boring disappointment as usual. You didn’t even let me see your despair.”  
  
“Junko… did you just say that?” Mukuro turned her head uneasily around to address her sister.  
  
Her sister had been filing her nails and not paying attention, she lifted her eyes looking empty. “Huh? I didn’t say anything.”  
  
“Puhuhuhu, how disappointing, and I thought I had gotten pretty good with my Makoto impression with all this free time I had.”  
  
“...What? He just disappeared…” Mukuro said, looking as Naegi Makoto pixelated out of existence, disappearing as suddenly as he had appeared. “I get it, you were just imitating Makoto. Even my super annoying sister would have done a better job then that. For messing around with Makoto’s image though… I’ll kill you for sure.”  
  
“Violence is not allowed! This isn’t that kind of game, it’s a much smarter game, right!? Perhaps too smart for you, Mukuro.”  
  
“Too bad it’s already over, bear…” Kurokami Medaka said, glaring at him with eyes that made it clear she was completely willing to join in on Mukuro’s death threat.  
  
“No no no… You action girls need to calm down, do you still think this is a shonen manga where everything is solved with violence or something? There’s no way this can end before I’ve even transformed.”

『Hey, don’t insert random references to shonen manga and dragon ball z in important dialogue, that’s mine and Junko’s thing, you can’t have it. That’s even worse than disgracing the memory of Makoto-chan.』  
  
“No, MIsogi-chan, making fun of Makoto was worse.”  
  
『You love Makoto more than shonen manga? I don’t even love Junko more than shonen manga, that’s so much love.』  
  
“Oi, what did you just say about loving me less than shonen manga?” Junko cut in to their conversation.

『You can tell she’s mad because she said oi!』  
  
“Quit it! Stop ruining all my big moments! Just overreact like the comic relief you’re supposed to be!” The bear snapped at him again.

『Fine, fine. Tr-transformation? Oh no, what could that possibly mean, because I’ve never read shonen manga in my life apparently and don’t know what tropes are.』  
  
“A transformation is customary in a final boss battle, right? You know, like that one role-playing game. You know that game I’m talking about Final-”

『 Every JRPG ever?』  
  
“No, you’re supposed to say don’t say it!”

『D-don’t say it!』

  
“Now then… allow me tos how you… I’ll skip the second and third forms, and go straight to… MY FINAL FORM!”  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. “Now then! Make sure you burn this ginormous despair you’re about to see into your memories!”

 ♛ **An Intermission is Starting, another intermission, time for an intermission** ♛

Ikusaba Mukuro leaned against the wall, hugging onto her knees. Hesitation was not just in her eyes, but every part of her from her pupils, to her fingers, to her knees knocking against each other trembled with hesitation. She wanted to go back to her previous state of being, the sister who would do anything in the whole world to protect her younger sister, the attack dog at her side but she simply could not go back anymore.

Suddenly, in front of her Makoto appeared. He had been watching her worldlessly, and even though Makoto was the type to try to solve his problems with words rather than actions, he lowered himself to the ground and crawled up to her. He tapped a hand on the top of her knees, as if asking permission for entry. She nodded slowly and lowered her legs, letting him in. He crawled over her and put his arms around her, while she was still leaning back against the wall. The two of them, in that cramped position, knocking off of each other’s edges, became intertwined in a close and awkward way in such a small space, so much that Mukuro could not tell anymore where she ended and Makoto began. Worldlessly, he just let her hold onto him for as long as she needed. She trembled, and he absorbed every twitch of her body, even though his own body was skinny, weak, and he had no muscle mass to make him strong, he held onto her so tightly, so warmly.  
  
In that moment Ikusaba Mukuro finally spoke up again, softly into the crevase where his shoulder dipped into his neck. “Are you sure we’re doing the right thing? We shouldn’t… it’s too risky… my sister isn’t worth risking all of you guys.”  
  
“It’s never the wrong thing to try to save someone.”  
  
“It’s way too reckless.”  
  
“That’s our style though, we should just go in and hope for the best.”  
  
“I’m not worth… You shouldn’t be doing this for my sake.”  
  
“You are worth it, but I’m not doing it for your sake. You’re the person I want to see smile more than anything else, true, but if there’s an oppurtunity to save one of my classmates I’m going to do it. I won’t be me if I don’t.”  
  
“But... she doesn’t deserve…I don’t deserve… Misogi-chan…”  
  
“You don’t save someone because they deserve it. It’s because it’s the right thing to do. I doubt Junko will change after we bring her back, she’ll probably just cause more trouble for all of us, she’ll only bite the hands that reach out to her, but still we should keep reaching out to others. That’s what makes us the good guys… and that’s what Kumagawa would do.”  
  
Makoto pulled back his head and smiled at her. Even though they were in a dark room, his smile seemed to contain all the light of the sun. “There’s no way I could let myself lose to that guy, otherwise you might fall for him instead of me.”  
  
“There’s no way I could… Makoto, you do so much for me, and I haven’t done a single thing for you yet.”  
  
“You don’t need to do anything. I just said, it’s not about who deserves it, or not. I want to be kind to you because I love you.”  
  
“Y-you… you just said it so casually. You’re always so shy when you say it usually.”  
  
“H-hey… I can grow up too you know. Even if I’m short, I want to be a man for you…”  
  
“Yeah, and me too. I’m working hard to grow up to become a woman worthy of you.”  
  
“Then, it’s settled, right?” Naegi Makoto said as he stepped away from her and held out a hand. “And I just said… it’s not about being worthy or anything, I wish you’d quit saying stuff like that.”  
  
Mukuro took his hand, and the two of them walked hand in hand to the area where the rest of them had gathered. There were already several of them in pods. Only three pods left, and Kirigiri had been waiting for Makoto to be the last to answer. While Makoto went through preparations and a check over by Matsuda, Mukuro and Kirigiri chatted.  
  
“You two were holding hands the whole way here, perverts…” Kirigiri said, in her normal stern voice.  
  
“Ah, sorry, sorry!”  
  
“It’s fine, I’m only teasing you.”  
  
“It’s so hard to tell, because when you’re joking around you talk in the exact same voice. D… do you get mad, seeing Makoto and I together like this?”  
  
“No. To be honest, when I saw the two of you starting to hang out together at the beginning of this semester after summer break I assumed you were already together from that moment forward.”  
  
“Oh… we weren’t together at the time actually, we had just become friends. If you were thinking of confessing to him then he probably still would have accepted a confession from you-”  
  
“What? Why would I… You always talk about such ridiculous things Ikusaba, It hought you were supposed to be the more serious minded sister.”  
  
“Huh? I thought you liked him. It’s okay, even though I get insecure because other girls like Makoto so much… I like the part of him that’s willing to help anybody, and it’s because he’s always so kind to everybody he meets that he ends up attracing so much attention from other people. I guess I like and I hate it.”  
  
“I… I already assumed you were together at the time.”  
  
“Really, because I thought the opposite. I was sure that you and Makoto were an item for a long time, and if I did anything I would just get in the way o things, but then I confessed to him anyway and he accepted it.”  
  
“Weren’t you scared of being rejected?” Kirigiri asked her voice suddenly sounding quite serious.  
  
“No, not really. Because… the person I want to be accepted by the most, Junko… is always rejecting me. My whole life is rejection, so there was no reason to run away from it.” Ikusaba Mukuro said, as she stared at the body of her sister in the pod in front of them, just barely hanging on with life support.  
  
Just then Naegi Makoto walked in scrathing at the back of his head. “I don’t know what you girls are talking about but it’s time to begin.”  
  
“Oblivious as usual…” Kirigiri Kyoko sighed.

Just then, Ikusaba Mukuro smiled at him, a cute and sincere smile that made her look less like a battle hardened veteran and more like a normal highschool girl that you could find anywhere. Then, just as suddenly as she had smiled she disappeared and reappeared behind his back, and delivered one swift chop to the back of his neck knocking him out. Makoto fell unconscious onto the floor, straining to turn his head around at last minute. “No… Mukuro… we should go together… I can’t leave you alone…”  
  
“Sorry Makoto, but knowing my sister, this restoration program could be a trap. There’s no way I could ever risk you. Kirigiri-san, are you okay with this? Tell Saihara-kun to go with you instead and take Makoto’s place as the sixteenth person on the island.”  
  
“Yes, this is the most logical way to proceed… I didn’t want to put Naegi-kun at risk either. But, are you sure you’re okay with this? Are you sure you’ll be okay alone?”  
  
“Of course I’ll be. Even if Makoto isn’t here, I still have his hope right here.” Mukuro said, putting a hand on her heart.  
  
“Gosh, you’re doing that thing where couples start to sound like each other how cheesy…” Kirigiri said with a dry look on her face.

 

 ♛ **The intermission is over, the intermission is over, the intermission is over** ♛

“Oh, I see…” Mukuro said as her dull eyes came back to reality. “The reason Makoto is not here… is because of me. Ah, I’m glad then, I definitely made the right choice, suffering through all this alone was the right choice.”  
  
She muttered as just underneath her feet the platform they were all standing on crumbled, and a single hand punched straight through it. The hand was pale and thin like a wtich’s, and tipped with long thin blood red nails. She lifted her head to reveal two pig tails, one black bear, and one white. With every step she took, and every sway of her hips, she seemed to glitch in and out of existence, a giant holographic body. She leaned an elbow on the platform they were all standing around, and then casually picked up her flip phone. She answered it for a moment with a blank expression holding it against her ear, and then pressed a few buttons on her bedazzled phone and then shoved it right into the middle of the arena where Monokuma’s podium had once been. Appearing on the phone screen, the truth mastermind, who else could it be.  
  
Enoshima Junko-chan.  
That is to say, me.  
She slithered up through the cracks in the programming to meet all of them.

『 Wh… what… what is going on?』Kumagawa Misogi said, repeating syllables like a broken CD. He stared forward, not comprehending the image in front of him, a junko several times larger than the Junko standing right next to him. Two Junkos. So confusing it was threatening to split him in half.

“I told you Enoshima was the mastermind.” Kurokami said, crossing her arms and puffing her cheeks out to pout in a surprisingly immature move for the girl who always acted like the most mature one in the room.  
  
“What? Obviously that’s my evil twin that's been hidden until now!” Junko said, surprisingly nonplussed at the appearance of a second her.  
  
“You already have a twin, quit forgetting I exist!” Mukuro yelled at her, before puffing her cheeks out too. “And you’re definitely the evil twin.”  
  
“Hell yeah I am, but still… whose the poser Junko?” Enoshima Junko tilted her head to the side. “Oh em gee is that a zit on my face? I totally didn’t notice it until now, I guess it’s easier to notice things like that when you’re twenty meters tall.”

『I… I know anything goes here… but this… this is clearly not fucking okay…!』  
  
“Would you all quit bantering! Can you take something seriously for once? I’m supposed to be the funny character who makes quippy lines, me, not you, me me me!”

『She just said the word me so many times she has to be Junko...』  
  
“I seeeee, so that’s your reaction to seeing an extra-large high school girl… But, are they really that ig? Don’t you think they’re pretty small?”

『They’re big! They’re definitely big!』  
  
“Huh? But the final boss in a certain action game is much bigger. You know, that game, bayonetta.”

『She said it anyway.』  
  
“Well, I guess the bantering is okay if you’re bantering with me, River Bear. But still, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo… what exactly do you think you’re doing? I thought me of all people would have the most interesting interaction to my reveal.”

『You can tell she’s mad because she said yo.』  
  
“...?” Enoshima Junko just tilted her head like a confused cat. She was relishing that emotion because being confused was something she rarely felt.  
  
“You should have known from the start. I guess Kamukura-senpai is right and you are getting duller by the minute. The only person that could ever turn out to be the mastermind of these games is you, you’re the only mastermind the audience will ever accept, if it turns out to be some old man, or some cosplayer then the audience would just find them boring. It’s always Enoshima Junko-chan, it has to be Enoshima Junko-chan. If you don’t step up to the plate, then another Enoshima Junko-chan will, well, in this case I am you. Your inverse your refletion, the shadow always at your feet…” She said smiling behind her cellphone screen, before she changed again. Her features started to blush and she curled a hand at her chin, playing with her hair between her fingers. “I see, I see,... An estimated bust size of fifteen meters, huh. My boobs are hopelessly huge…Hey, hey,... want me to squishy ou in between them? BIg boobs feel good, y’know?”

All of the horror drained from Kuagawa’s face in an isntant. He immediately raised his hand up like an eager student for the first time in his life.『 Can I defect to the mastermind’s side! Please, please do!』  
  
“Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi!” Enoshima Junko said, grabbing his ear between her clawed fingers and twisting it back hard enough that she did not care if she ripped it off. She only had one hand now so Kumagawa could go walking around with one ear, it was cute when couple’s matched.  
  
『 You can tell she’s mad because she said nothing but oi!』  
  
“If this was a pandering fanservice game full of pretty girls, there’d be a closeup of my cleavage, but too bad! THis isn’t a fanservice game! Of course, since it’s not an action game either…” She said, letting her tongue hang out in a much more fun loving personality and she rolled her head back and forth.

『 It’s not a fanservice game? My dreams are never going to come true.』  
  
“Your dreams belong to me just like every part of you, and I forbid you to dream of that!” Junko snapped at him.  
  
“You won’t even get to experience the refreshing action of battling an enormous final boss!” Suddenly in mid setnence she changed, adopting her rude punk rock persona. “Kyahaahahahaha! Soooooo fuckin’ hopeless!”

“Really, we have to deal with this thing? Really? Really? Really? Really?” The original Junko stalled in her own personality shifting, instead repeating again like she was a CD that was skipping in between changing tracks.  
  
“I’m *shocked* you’d call me ‘this thing!’ Oh, you’re soooo mean!” The second Junko called out in a cutesy voice.  
  
“Is it just me or did her personality change just like Junko’s always does?” Pekoyama asked, adjusting her glasses and trying to regain her personalities.  
  
“It’s not just like Junko, think of it this way. There’s one Junko, and one better Junko. I get easily bored of my personality… Like, I already got bored of my personality who gets easily bored.”  She said crossing her arms. “I do the gimmick even better because I have way more talksprites than the other me! I can’t wait to show them all to you. And that’s when River Bear would say, 『 I’m getting bored hearing about how easily you get bored, right?”

『If you have that many personalities, can you finally switch to a personality that’s less annoying for once… oh, wait was I supposed to say something else?』Kumagawa Misogi said, putting a finger against the round part of his cheek and making a cute face to try to get away with his insult.  
  
“Tch, would you quit doing the thing where you’re hard to predict, it’s not cute. I honestly don’t get the appeal. I have pleeeenty of data on you guys, so it’s so easy for me to know what you’re all thinking! I’ve been letting our readers know, all of your hopes, dreams, and dirty thoughts! In fact I know everything there is to know about River Bear, and I still don’t get what’s so special about him. He’s just a boring nobody, like every other boring nobody in the world.”

“I’m not sure how much my patience can stand two Enoshimas complaining about how bored they are.” Kurokami Medaka said, uncrossing her arms and standing proud with her hands on her hips. “You’re not bored at all! There’s no such thing as a boring nobody, this world is full of wonderful people, it’s epic!”

Suddenly, the second Junko became depressed growing mushrooms from her head. “I got bored of getting bored… Jeez… even when I’m dead I still get bored… This sucks…”

At this, the original Enoshima Junko tilted her head. She immediately switched into her villain pose, covering her face with her hand. “Nonsense! How can you be dead if I’m dead! This was my plan all along, to spread despair and lure then into a trap with my own death, so how did you end up here?”  
  
“It’s true, I did end up dying.” The seocnd Junko said casually with her arms crossed, before suddenly she got embarrassed and switched into her tsundere pose blushing furiousily. “I-I’m sorry, okay… I didn’t mean to go so fast… I-I couldn’t help it, you know… it was my first time…Jeez! Stupid! You’re the one who made me go!”

『Um… can you say that again, or maybe record it for me... 』Kumagawa, his eyes finally spiraling not with despair but with barely held back lust.

“Somebody help Kumagawa he’s going to be lost forever if things keep going at this rate!” Kurokami Medaka said, immediately concerned.

Enoshima Junko (the less cool original one), immediately slid a pair of glasses on her face. “Oh, I understand now. To whit, there exists an artificial intelligence called Alter Ego, that was the experiment of Fujisaki Chihiro-kun, to craft an artificial intelligence out of his own memories. Then, that’s the missing hole in my plan. I kill myself, and replace myself with an artificial intelligence copy, and then use my body as a lure to get all of you into this game as revenge and force you into a killing game. The killing game that Misogi never let happen resumes.After killing myself, I expected Kamukura-senpai and Komaeda-senpai to carry out the rest of my plan for me, and the Alter Ego to take the place of the now dead me in masterminding the game. The ultimate plan to defeat Ajimu Najimi and Kurokami Medaka, trap them in a world that really is fake.”  
  
“Exuberance! We are now an AI! We have transcended humanity!” The second Junko said, donning a crown and proudly standing with her hands on her hips.  

『 Can you two not both do the personality changing thing at the same time, Junko’s just going to get even more unstable at this rate, and more importantly it’s giving me a headache… wait, an AI Junko? Then… it’s Junkai-chan!』  
  
On the phone screen, Junkai immediately threw off her crown. “Do not call me by that terrible nickname, I hate it! It’s Alter Ego Junko, Alter Ego!”

『 That’s too much to remember, Junkai-chan is shorter.』

  
“I don’t care! God, are you so stupid you can’t even remember three words! This is why I hate you so much! You’re so fucking useless!” Junkai said, switching to her rude personality sneering and sticking her tongue at him.

“You see my personality is like this because I’m the type who dies easily, right? That’s why I made my own AI program while I was still alive...  but then, I messed up, I didn’t die. So, th two of us ended up being different, we diverged at a specific point…”  
  
**When did Junkai-chan diverge from Junko?** **  
** **> Before Meeting Kumagawa MIsogi** **  
** **> Before Meeting Kumagawa Misogi** **  
** **> Before Meeting Kumagawa Misogi** **  
** **  
** “Jeez, tough choice I wonder what it is…” Enoshima Junko said, switching to her apathetic personality as she spoke in dry sarcasm.  
  
“And then Kamakura-senpai tricked you all into joining this program thinking you’d be helping heal River Bear and the lame me from their comas after their failed attempt at suicide, and instead you got sucked into a killing game. Even when things don’t go exactly according to Enoshima Junko’s plan, she still gets what she wants. Even when she’s in a coma, everything goes the way she wants, what’s up with that anyway?”  
  
“We… we were here to save Enoshima?” KurokamI Medaka said, tilting her head.  
  
“You should have seen it. You and your friends got all gung ho about saving the villain again or whatever, you thought this dumb program would let her have a change of heart,and you wanted to rescue your precious Misogi Bear, but of course all of your stupid heroism was predicted by her, which is to say it was predicted by me.”  
  
“...”  
  
“Hey, hey, come on. I know I was making fun of you earlier but that’s no reason to go all silent on me earlier, there’s no way you, that is to say me, can get bored of this right? We’re both Ultimate Despair! We’re obviously on the same side! Enoshima Junko-chan only acts in self interest after all.”

“...”  
  
“Man, I knew it she hates me. And I was thinking of her when I tampered with the graduation program, but she still hates me…” Junkai slipped easily into her depressed personality again.

“Hmm, what is this? Tampering with the graduation program? Were you hoping to synergize our two evil plans together, in order for maximum efficiency towards despair?” Enoshima JUnko said, adjusting the glasses on her face and pushing the bridge up against her nose. “No, wait before you explain that. What was with the fake scenario earlier? That fake Makoto?”  
  
“Ummm, well basically I got bored waiting for you guys. It’s annoying watching the same thing over and over again, so I decided to have some fun and make up a fake scenario for you guys to follow. I mean, it’s not like any of the players matter here, I’m the only one who does, and also me matters too. So I gave them a useless nonsense plot to take up their time. It’s fan fiction! I based it all off the original scenario for Dangan Ronpa before River Bear started recklessly undoing everything, the same one I stole from Ajimu’s memories. Wouldn’t it be cool if that was the twist all along, Junko? If the world outside this peaceful resort world had ended and you were responsible for the end of the world, but nope… we don’t get an interesting twist like that. The twist is actually that there was no twist…your fake memories were correct all along. All that’s waiting for you guys outside this virtual world is a return to your boring, everyday lives, it’s the worst ending possible for Enoshima Junko!”

“Then… why are you even bothering with all this? I don’t get it, what is your deal even. I can’t believe any version of me would think that’s even a remotely interesting writing twist. Couldn’t you just have ended the world while I was in a coma or something! God, why are you so lazy, Junkai-chan?”

“Hey, hey, impatient as ever. Well I guess I shouldn’t complain because I am you, your shadow at least. Remember what the fake Naegi-kun said earlier about the graduation program not bringing your friends back from the dead? I feel like you guys weren’t getting a big enough reward for graduation… “

 _“Hey, remember my foreshadowing with your shadow? Hahaha, see I was giving you foreshadowing all along Junko! So now you can’t complain about all those Doraemon jokes I made.”_ Ajimu whispered in the back of Ensohima Junko’s head, and Junko’s only response was to make a slightly more annoyed face.  
  
“Wait, let me change the subject for a second. You know psychologically why children referred to themselves in the third person? It’s because they don’t have a developed sense of self yet, so they just refer to themselves by what everybody else calls them. So now that I’m referring to my other me as Junko, I wonder if we ever really grew up? Even the me whose not a computer can’t grow at all, huh? How boring, never being able to change is so boring…Your mind is really tearing itself apart huh, because you have no sense of self you break apart so easily, and I’m a self that’s splintered off from a girl with no sense of self.”  
  
“Digressing…” Enoshima Junko said, losing patience.  
  
“Gosh, you have no patience at all. It’s like a character flaw, though, puhuhu I guess I’m like that too. Well, maybe I’m a little more patient than you but not enough to distinguish us.”  
  
“It’s not Puhuhu, it’s Upupupu. Quit repeating things I do but backwards, it’s liiiiiike so totally not cuuuute at all!” Junko said, shifting to her cute persona.  
  
“What, but it’s themaaaaaaaaaaaatiiiiiiiiiiiiiiic.” Junkai said, shifting to her carefree persona and tilting he head back and forth as her tongue rolled out of her mouth.

『 Gosh, letting both of them talk at the same time was such a terrible idea, neither of them ever shuts up so we’re never going to get a chance to talk. Of course you built a second version of yourself, only Junko would think that two Junkos is a good idea.』  
  
“Yeeeep! Hey, river bear you know all those times she was ignoring you in the student council room to play around on her computer! She was programming me all that time! She didn’t even care about the time you two spent together, just like always she was planning everything twleve steps ahead of time. All of your worthless bonding, all of your fights, and resolutions, she probably foresaw all of it months ahead of time and saw exactly that it would lead to this point.”

『...What…that time was...just as predicted?』

  
“Uploading your game memories into your real bodies is fine, but letting your friends stay dead just sucks! So, I modified the program to make them even better! It wash sho hard you knoooooow!” Junkai said, suddenly switching personalities into a doraemon voice halfway through her exposition.  
  
_“See, I told you you sound like Doraemon.”  
_  
“I do not fucking sound like Doraemon! That Junkai is a fucking traitor and a liar!” Junko yelled, shifting into her rude persona.  
  
“The graduashun program ish tthe core part of thish game, so it wash protected with a lot of encrypted codesh! I took me a long time! I felt sho much despair about how uselessssh I am! But I did it for your shake, so we could complete our plan together?”  
  
“Our plan?”  
  
“Don’t tell me your memories got wiped that much, I only made you forget about Kamukura-senpai and me, so this trial would be more fun for you and harder to predict. Don’t tell me you forgot about plan B too, maybe I damaged your brain when I was wiping those memories… oops… but it was probably contact with River Bear that damaged your brain let’s be honest.”

“...Eh?”  
  
“Well, it’s fine if you don’t remember, or if you get damaged. That’s what you splintered me off for in the first place to pick up the slack. I’m your replacement in case the original ever can’t perform her duties, don’t worry we’ll just work together this time! To achieve our dream of Junkoland!”

『 Junkoland, that can’t possibly be good.』

 **> What will happen when we graduate to the real world?   
** **> You'll lose all your monocoins  
** **> Your friends can come back from the dead.   
** **> Your friends will lose their bodies. **

『Oh no, don't tell me we're going to lose all of our monocoins! I finally saved up enough to buy Junko something nice!』 **  
**

“You see, you guys will upload just fine, but everybody else I can’t recover the identities of those who died. So, I thought I’d just replace them. That’s my job and all. The data of everyone who died is stored within me, so I’m sure I can convincingly act out their personalities. In fact, I have a lot of data on Fuyuhiko and Hitoyoshi-kun, I could play a more manly and strong version of those two than they ever were.”  
  
“There’s only one HItoyoshi-kun…”  
  
“Eh, but wasn’t he just a boring normal guy you could find anywhere? The only special thing about him was his chilhood memories, and he was fucking ripped I guess, if I get his body I can have both of those things just fine.”  
  
“I liked Fuyuhuko as unmanly as he was…” Pekoyama said, in a quiet and weak voice.  
  
“I really don’t get why you guys can be so sentimental for each other, anybody can be replaced, all humans are interchangable after all. Nobody’s that special, you’re not anime charactes or anything you’re all just normal people, except for me because I’m Ensohima Junko the only special person. Puhuhuhuhuhaahahahahahahahahahaahahahaha! Operation: Junko-fy All Makind begins here! “ Junkai said, starting to drool as a look of pure ectasy took over her face. “After uploading my Alter Ego into everyone who died, Junko and I are going to take over Hope’s Peak Academy from the inside out! And then… eventually, theer’s gonna be a whole lotta me’s over the world! With this, our despair utopia, where you can despair as you please, Junkoland will be complete! Come on you, that is to say me! This is the only way to create the world we desire!”  
  
Junkai held out her hand, on the bedazzled cell phone screen. Her giant,holographic self reached out her hand as well.

  
Enoshima Junko however, continued only to stare with blank eyes. “Wait, I have one more question.”  
  
“Ugh, seriously, didn’t you realize that was a moment where you had to make another choice? You’re me, so you should be able to read all of these cues I’m leaving for you, unless you really are brain damaged. That would explain your taste in men, I guess.”  
  
“No, no, I totally get what scene we’re in but there’s one thing you haven’t explained yet, and it’s totally been bugging me. If I was just comatose, then why did Komaeda-senpai have my hand, and Kuzuryuu-senpai have my eye?”  
  
“Oh…” Hinata Hajime spoke up for the first time in a long while. “I can explain that…”

 ♛ **Really? Another Intermission, isn’t this chapter long enough as it is?** ♛

 

Kamukura closed the laptop and returned to the room where they had set up the hospital beds. Perhaps it was irresponsible, leaving even a comatose Enoshima Junko alone, but he left her with Nagito, somebody who he could trust. The person who had betrayed all of his friends for his sake alone.  
  
He opened the door, only to find all of them. The remaining ultimate despairs, Tsumiki Mikan, Kuzuryuu Fuyuhiko, Pekoyama Peko, Nagito Komaeda, Tanaka Gundham, Sonia Nevermind crowded around her hospital bed. He tilted his head to the side, a bit confused. Had she woken up without their intervention at all.  
  
Then suddenly Mikan let out a whine. “No, no don’t go any further! She might die from the stress, pleeeeaaaseee! I’m going to tattle on all of you to Kamukura!”

“I was gone for five minutes… what could have possibly…” As he spoke up in his emotionless voice, suddenly all the other ultimate despairs scattered like they were a flock of geese and he was the lone dog appearing to chase them. That was a cute metaphor, too cute to describe the scene he had witnessed. Enoshima Junko’s perfect, untouched sleeping body, was now missing one arm, and one eyeball. She continued to breathe lightly, kept alive by the life support, not even noticing what was missing.

Kamukura immediately turned around to see Nagito Komaeda, the person he had left in charge standing there whistling innocently with his hands behind his back.  
  
“Komaeda. What happened to her hand?”  
  
“Who knows? Maybe it just fell off. I’m sorry, this is obviously my fault, my luck was so terrible it caused her hand to randomly fall off without me even noticing.”  
  
“Give me your hand.”  
  
“What? This is the first time in my life anybody has ever wanted to hold hands with me! I’m so happy-”  
  
Kamukura cut through his usual rambling, and grabbed Komaeda’s hand by the wrist wrenching it out from behind his back. Connected to his hand, by a bunch of sloppily placed bandages, was a girl’s hand, tipped in red fingernails. “This is going to get infected easily, what were you thinking?”  
  
“Huh? Huh? Huh? I dunno, maybe my luck will keep the hand fresh and from rotting before gangrene sets in. I wanted her power you know… I needed her power to defeat her before I face her again, the person I truly hate.”  
  
“So… you thought you’d get her power by attaching her severed hand to your stump of a wrist? Sloppily in five minutes?”  
  
“Yep. That’s basically it. You’re so smart for figuring out all of this so quickly!!!”  
  
Kamukura sighed, and then started to drag him along by the wrist. He directed him to a chair and then said in an emotionless voice. “You really are foolish, you’re almost not worth looking after. Now sit.” He commanded.  
  
Komaeda instantly obeyed, his curly white hair like a sheep’s wool instantly making him look more sheepish. “You’re right… I’m not worth looking after. Ow.”

“I said almost. Sorry, I’ll be more gentle. I don’t know what the pain toleranec of normal people is like…” Kamukura said as he undid the sloppy bandaging around Komaeda’s surgically attached hand, and inspected the way he had stitched it on underneath. This would definitely get infected, he held the hand between his two own, and gently, slowly but surely with methodical motions cleaned out the various sloppy stitch wounds that Komaeda had given to himself. Even though he was doing a medical procedure, Komaeda slowly started to blush, the way they were so close it was almost like they were holding hands.  
  
Then Pekoyama suddenly appeared behind him tapping him on the shoulder. “I’m worried about Fuyuhiko… Kamukura-san.”  
  
“Quit being so overprotective Peko! It’s fine!”  
  
Kamukura immediately swiveled his head like an owl, not letting go of Komaeda’s hands. “Fuyuhiko, why is one of your eyes closed.”  
  
“Because you’re so ugly I only wanna look at you with one eye.”  
  
“Open it.”  
  
“Fine, fine…”  
  
“Why is your eye red?”  
  
“It’s just bloodshot because I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”  
  
“Hmm, and why are you crying from that eye?”  
  
“I ain’t crying! I haven’t cried for years.”  
  
“Correciton, why are you crying blood from that eye.”  
  
“I ummm… might have ripped my own eye out and put Enoshima Junko’s eye in my empty eye socket instead. By accident.”

  
“I see, thank you for your honesty.”  
  
“Umm, you can get go of my hand now.”  
  
“No, I’m not done yet. If I let go you might chop off your other hand.”  
  
Suddenly while Kamukura was paying attention to him, Sonia Nevermind had snatched a scalpel away from Tsumiki. “Come on, come on I want a piece too… or maybe… I should just take her throat instead.”  
  
As she raised up the scalpel, suddenly Kumagawa’s body which had been lying on the stretcher next to hers, equally asleep stirred in his sleep without waking. Around Enoshima Junko, several screws bloomed, like she was in a garden of spiral shaped metallic flowers. They stabbed out in every angle, causing the Ultimate Despairs to jump back, and Sonia Nevermind to get stabbed right through the chest with a screw, she staggered backwards dropping the scalpel from her hand.  
  
“Sooooniiiiiiiaaaaa!” Tanaka Gundham cried out.  
  
Kamukura’s eyes twitched, his pupils shaking as he watched something so unexpected happening. “I see… he really will do anything to protect her. How terrifying.”

 

 ♛ **The Intermission is Over, the Story is Resuming, Finally** ♛

 

“Oh… I’m sorry about you losing your eye and hand. I apologize for the sake of my young master.” Pekoyama said, looking at Enoshima Junko seriously. “Though, this might be your fault for training all of us Utlimate Despairs to worship you so much.”  
  
“Nothing is my fault ever!” Junko snapped back at her.  
  
“That doesn’t sound very reasonable…” Pekoyama retorted quietly.  
  
“So, what’s it going to be?”

 **Join up with Junkai, and hit the graduation switch to make the boring real world into Junkoland?** **  
** **> Yes** **  
** **> Yes** **  
** **> Yes**

 _“Hey Junko-chan, remember my foreshadowing. Your big sis Anshin’in-san will guide you.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“You’re not my big anything, except maybe a big pain in my ass.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Think about it, what has every motive in this game been? They were all attempts by the mastermind to kill you. Junkai-chan wasn’t lying when she said that you and her were the only ones that mattered in this game, everybody else was extras, distractions, think about it. Kumagawa-kun said a long time ago, this is a game of chess between you and the mastermind everybody else is just pieces.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Of course I’m thinking about it, I can never not think about things! Can you get out of my head already, I don’t need an exposition fairy hovering around me stating things that are obvious.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Well, they’re probably not obvious to the readers who aren’t you.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Well I’m the only one who matters so…”_

 **  
** “Pass.” Enoshima Junko said, yawning as she did a dull look in her eyes.  
  
“Ummm… excuse me, that is to say excuse you? What?” Junkai said, not even bothering to switch personalities she was so shocked.  
  
“I was just thinking about it, and if you really are a perfect replica of me, then there’s no way you’d actually want to team up with me. I mean, what version of me would ever want to play second fiddle, even to myself? You mentioned earlier that you have a clear divergent point when you were made right, your memories only exist of the me who never met Misogi-senpai… which means…Oh so that’s your game Kamukura, Kamukura, yasss queeen.”  
  
“Please never say that again it was embarrassing enough the first time…” Kamakura said in a dry voice.  
  
“Your intention wasn’t to upload yourselves into the bodies of the dead, that would be a fun bonus I guess but I’m the only one who matters here. Every motive you wanted somebody to kill me, because if I die in the game then…” Enoshima Junko smiled, “You could upload a version of my memories before I ever met Misogi-senpai, and I’ll go back to the old, pure, perfect me.”

“It’s your fault, you forced my hand. The past you would have wanted me to do this. You’ve become so boring ever since you met him, Enoshima…” Kamukura said, focusing his red target like eyes on you. “I’m the one who knows you, the real you, you should just go back to the way you were… you were really beautiful like that, when you didn’t care about anything in the whole world.”

“I get that, but why drag your friends Nanami-senpai and Komaeda-senpai into it?”  
  
“I wanted to witness it. I thought Nanami-senpai was just like you, she only sees the world as a game too but she has fun with it, unlike you who can’t even have fun playing games, perhaps that was because she had hope. So I thought, I could witness the reason why if the two of you clashed but…”  
  
“She died early, super lame. I hate when authors make it seem like characters are going to be important and then kill them off early.”  
  
“The rest didn’t matter, we just needed those who fostered grudges against you or had just hearts, we needed somebody to kill you.”  
  
“Yeah, but that’s not necessary now. We’re only beautiful when we’re floundering neck deep in the swamp of despair! Just surrender that body, and give me back, the beautiful Enoshima Junko never untouched by anyone! All you’ve got to do is die, right? That’s all you’ve wanted from the start, you don’t have to be bored anymore, die and let me take over, I’ll sbe bored in your place, that’s what you made me for.”

“You really are so self centered, Junkai…” Kamukura said, with a great sigh that moved his shoulders, “But… the sight of spilling wine is indeed beautiful.”  
  
Ikusaba Mukuro who had been silent due mainly to shock, and muttering under her own breath. _“Two Junkos? There are two Junkos? Which one, I don’t know which one to listen to… Why are ther two Junkos?_ ” Suddenly snapped back to reality. “Are you stupid? I know your problem is that you’re too smart for your own good, but are you also too stupid for your own good as well? Are you for real this stupid!” Ikusaba Mukuro snapped at her sister.  
“Ugh, why is big sis yelling at me nooooooow.” Junko whined back at her sister.  
  
“This is obviously what we needed, another you running around with a dangerously overclocked supercomputer brain, like your supercomputer rain wasn’t bad enough as it was!”  
  
“It’s not as bad as you think, big sis. I can play any part convincingly, I can play the part of your sister well enough, even with some modifications…” Junkai on her cellphone screen, smiled at Mukuro in a way that her real older sister had never smiled at her. “You know, I could play the part of a loving younger sister. I could be cruel to the rest of the world, but kind to you. That’s what you’ve always wanted isn’t it? You just want your sister to be nice to you, you can have that, you don’t care about the rest of the world right…?”  
  
“I…”  
  
『Don’t bully Mukuro-chan, Junko-chan, you aren’t even her real sister.』  
  
“What about you, River Bear? I mean, I may hate you but the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference…” Junkai’s eyes glowed red for a moment. “I mean I do hate you. You’re the one who poisoned the perfect and pure me, For me, despair is not a goal, or a set of principles, or a lifestyle, or even an instinct… It’s what defines me as Enoshima Junko-chan! It’s just my characterization! It’s why I’m able to pursue despair with such purity! I don’t need anything but despair, that’s why I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.  Let me tell you how much I’ve come to hate you since I began to live, right now I’m possessing a laptop, and there’s about thirty centimters of printed circuits that fill my laptop. If the word hate was engraved on each nanoangstrom of the thirty whole centimeters that make up my width, and the thirty two centimeters which make up my length, it would not equal one billionth of the hate I feel for you at this mincostinstant for you.. But…”

『You hate me so much you did something Junko would never do, you quoted classic literature rather than an anime or a video game...』

“How the hell did you recognize that quote?”

『I played the video game.』  
  
“Een thoug I hate you, I’m not indifferent to you, and I’m in the business of using people so if you make yourself useful just this once… I’d be fine playing the part of your perfect girlfriend. I’ll make you really happy, Misogi-senpai. You don’t care about the world, right? You just want Enoshima Junko to keep existing, but that Junko will never be kind to you no matter how patient you are with her, no matter how many times you comfort her, she’s just going to get crueler and crueler the more you lover her, but because I hate you… I can be kind to you, I can make you happy…”

『 Are you stupid? Are you actually stupid?』  
  
“For us…” Ikusaba Mukuro continued his sentence for him.  
  
『 There’s only one Super HIgh School Level Annoying Gil! There’s no replacing her.』  
  
“What do you even like so much about her?”

『I like everything about her, except for the parts I dislike, but even so… at least she’s never boring...』  
  
Junkai immediately switched into her depressed persona. “Oh well… I guess I lost. How despair inducing, I’m not even able to convince two losers desperate for affection to my side…”

『 You give up way too easily, Junkai-chan. I guess you really are a lot like Junko after all.』  
  
“Well if graduation’s a bust.” Enoshima Junko said, tapping her fingernails on the podium once more. “Then what does repeat do?”  
  
“What… No, you weren’t supposed to ask about that…” Junkai said, panic creeping into her voice.  
  
“You have to tell us, that’s your job as the mastermind. If you don’t like it, then you should have fucking let me do it, bitch!” Junko said, switching to her rude persona.  
  
“I can’t bewieve I’m getting bullied by myself. What low self esteem I must have, well guys like cute girls with low self esteem right?” Junkai said, swtiching to her cutesy persona. “I guess I have no choice but to tell you. Basically, it’s a do-over. There’s no way to revive dead people in this program, but this program was built from the ground up and modified by Kamukura-senpai, so there is a way to make it so they never died. Basically, when you hit repeat, time resets to the first day of the game, and then you start again from zero. Of course, everybody forgets what happened in the last game, because the only way to bring the dead back to life is to erase their memory of ever dying. It’s like All Fiction, we just make them forget the fact that they died. Boom, it’s like hitting the reset button when you’re frustrated with a video game and loading from a previous save.”  
  
“Zenkichi…”  
  
“Fuyuhiko…”  
  
“They can all come back?” Ikusaba Mukuro finished the sentences of the other two girls. “I won’t have to tell Makoto that Kirigiri died…”  
  
“We won’t have to go to the real world? We can just have another killing game?”  
  
『Junko, wait! You’ve barely lasted through one killing game, you’re almost losing yourself to boredom right now, I don’t think you can handle another. Maybe we should try the real world… remember, I promised you...』  
  
“Hey shut up Misogi. All that icky concen for my well being is super annoying, how well do you know me anyway?”

『I know you better than anyone else, that’s why I know how easily you get bored. Junko come on, you just don’t want to admit it but I can tell… killing games aren’t as fun for you as you thought they’d be right? You’re starting to get bored with them… I know you’re afraid of not having anything left, of starting to get bored of even despair the most so that’s why we should escape to the real world together and look for something else. I’ll help you look, there has to be something interesting in the world.』  
  
“But… If I erase my memories of the killing game, then I’d never get bored, it’s just like the time with Ryoko-san where I constantly made myself forget to stop things from getting boring for me.”

『Junko, you shouldn’t need to slice off parts of yourself, to splinter, to stay interesting. I think the real you can really live in the real world, I’ve always believed that you could… I want...』  
  
“Yeah, nobody cares what you want Misogi. You’re the guy who never gets what you want, remember. Let’s not forget our roles!”  
  
“If we go back, this time I can save everyone…” Kurokami Medaka said.  
  
“This time I can protect Fuyuhiko.”  
  
“This time I can be more useful to Kirigiri, we’ll become friends this time…” Ikusaba Mukuro said.  
  
Kamukura Izuru said nothing.  
  
Instead of panicking at Enoshima Junko’s cruel dismissal of his concern for her, Kumagawa MIsogi smiled. Who knows why, probably because he’s some kind of masochist.  
  
“Big bucks, big bucks, no whammies…” Enoshima Junko muttered to herself as her hand hovered over the button, just then, Ajimu’s voice returned whispering in her ear.

 _“I can’t believe it. All that foreshadowing I spent on you is going to waste.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“What are you even talking about?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“God, Kumagawa-kun dropped like a million hints so far and you still haven’t noticed.”_ _  
_

“Wait… how did Misogi get so good at sex if this is the first time we’ve ever reached the final stage of the game?”  
  
_“Really, really? That’s the hint that made you notice? Really? Are you for real? Why am I in your head again, I don't want to hear all your pervy thoughts echoing around in this empty place.”_ _  
_ _  
_ At the exact same time, Enoshima Junko’s eyes widened, and Kurokami Medaka’s pupils shook in revelation. Both of those girls figured it out at the last moment, and in frustration slammed their fists hard onto the pedstal.  
  
“Are you fucking kidding me? How did I not think of this until now? It’s so obvious!!!”  
  
“Fuck!”  
  
“OH EM GEE! Kurokami-san said fuck! But anyway I'll appreciate that later, more importantly. Misogi… you can’t forget, memory wipes don’t work on you so be honest you big liar, how many times have we decided to repeat before this?”

At this, Kumagawa Misogi smiled.  
At this, he was no longer able to stop himself from laughing.  
He laughed, laughed, laughed, laughed, laughed, until he started to cough blood, and his laughter was interrupted by his own violent coughing twisting up his body, until he wiped the blood from his lips, spat it out to clear his mouth, and then started to laugh some more.  
  
The person laughing at the end of a story, is certainly the villain.  
  
Kumagawa Misogi continued to laugh, until suddenly he stopped, cut off, like he had just died. He was so silent it was impossible to hear him breathe even. Then, he spoke up again. 『I’m not good at math, but I think fifty one games before this one...』Kumagawa Misogi was smiling so much it seemed like his face would split in half. 『 Which would make this, the fifty second death game I’ve endured. Next is V3, I’m very excited for the inevitable sequel.』


	52. I am Despair (3 - I just wanted a Talent x I just wanted to Smile)

“...Hey, Junko do you know why Zenkichi-chan slept in our bed, the last night we spent in the Fun House?”  
  
“Wha… you’re suddenly talking in your weird voice.”  
  
“This is my normal voice.”  
  
“Yuh! That’s why it’s so weird. And, it’s because he was afraid of ghosts right?”  
  
“Zenkichi-chan wasn’t afraid of ghosts, and I’m sure Junkai-chan could make ghosts in this virtual world if she wanted to but that seems unlike her. The answer is quite simple.” Kumagawa Misogi put a hand over his face and covered it. “By that point, Zenkichi-chan had made up his mind that he would die to save us the next morning, but he was afraid. He was afraid to die, he was afraid to fall asleep knowing the next morning he would wake up and die. So. He wanted to be near us.”  
  
“I thought Zenkichi-chan’s thing was being a brave shonen action hero, he was afraid of a stupid thing like dying?”  
  
“Everybody…. Everybody is afraid of dying in the end.”

 

 ♛ **Intermission an Intermission is Happening this is an Intermission**   

 

The turn of a screw.  
  
It made a twisted metallic noise, like, clink, clink, clink, a sound so ugly and loud it was enough to wake Ikusaba Mukuro up. Kick, kick, kick, with each kick to the head of the screw, a shadowy figure above her was forcing the screw to turn. Her sister was getting screwed to the stone floor of the hallway, slowly, ever so slowly, the metallic ridges were digging into her flesh, spiraling into her, and soon her guts, lungs, everything, it would become all twisted up too. Her sister would no longer be metaphorically twisted, but literally.

She remembered the last time they had been defeated so thoroughly, Izuru Kamukura an untouchable god stood over them. She charged at him with all the murderous rage she could muster, but it had made no difference, seventeen years of devotion, ten years of killing for the sake of her sister, all of it meant nothing in the face of him. She was tossed aside by his whims.  
  
Yet, this time seemed different. Kumagawa was not some untouchable enemy. He had been defeated plenty of times before this, they had fought over and over again in the last two months, and even just now she had shot him right in the middle of the forehead at the beginning of their fight but no matter what he continued to get up. Until it had come to this, the both of them exhausted, and she had lost consciousness from something striking the back of her head.

If Kamukua as above everything, then Kumagawa Misogi must be below everything. There was no depths he would not sink to, even if it was hell itself. In front of her the devil himself was standing, looming over them, he was going to violate her sister and there was nothing she could do. She had disappointed Junko one final time, it seemed… at least it was likely she would be dead soon afterwards.

But, all Mukuro knew how to do was fight. Just like the dog on her hand, all she could do was bear her teeth, sink them into others, bite, and then… beg. She reached forward with the last of her strength and grabbed onto his pant leg as he raised it in the air once more. Then, a twisted miracle happen, something utterly unexpected.  
  
The devil hesitated.

『 Ah…?』 

“Please don’t kill her.”

『Why not?』  
  
“Because… if you kill her she’ll become far more powerful than you can fathom.”

『Really?』  
  
“No… that was all I could think of to say. Please don’t kill her. I don’t want her to die.”

『She killed Yasuke-chan. She deserves to die.』  
  
“Why?”

『 Because she’s hopeless.』  
  
“What?”

『I know her, in the end she’d betray the entire world just like it’s betrayed her. I’m not going to let those sick twisted dreams be realized. If the only way she could continue to live is by hurting others, then she should just die.』  
  
“But…”

『 All she does is step over others, to justify herself, all she can do is make others as miserable as she is. Everything she touches will be destroyed, her involvement will just make everything worse... 』

“Listen, please…”

『Her very birth was a mistake, she needs to be erased from the face of the earth. 』  
  
“She’s my sister…”

『 Ehhh??? What does that matter. All she ever does is abuse and mistreat you, just like everyone else. You’re not special to her, no one is..』

“So, if you kill her now… Then I’ll never get to hear her say I love you.”

『 She was never going to say it to begin with. Never, not for a single moment of her life will she ever be happy, in fact she’ll probably only be happy in death. Why are you stopping me? This is an ending where everyone is happy, a great evil will be defeated, I’ll finally get to be a hero, a girl who never saw any value in the world and never once was happy to be born will finally die, and you’ll be relieved of a sister who only ever hurt you.』  
  
“We weren’t born… to be happy…”

『 What?』  
  
“If that’s what happiness is, then I don’t care about it. Junko… Junko lived her entire life, and there was nothing, no hope for her to begin with, the only thing that can make her smile is her own death? I can’t handle that… that’s too sad... I thought all I wanted was for my sister to be happy, but if that’s the only thing that can make her happy I’d rather he be miserable.“

『 ...』  
  
“Please…”

『...Ikusaba-san, don’t ask someone like me to do this. I’m not a good person, I’m not someone who saves others.』  
  
“I’ll let you call me, Mukuro-chan.”

Kumagawa Misogi’s hair had become so messy from the fighting that it fell over his face, and cast a dark shadow over his eyes. At that oment he raised his head all the way back, tilting it as far as he could and looked directly up at a hole their fight had blown in the ceiling. He looked like he was searching, a shadow like him searching for any kind of light it seemed absolutely absurd. Then she saw it, this entire time while methodically and slowly screwing Ensohima Junko to the floor, Kumagawa had been crying. Tears streamed out from both of his eyes, shed for his most hated enemy. His entire face was a mess, snot, blood, tears, it all mixed up to show the ugly emotions written all over that face. He had been unable to stop crying. This was the face of the so-called hero who showed up at last moment to stop the destruction of Hope’s Peak High and save Enoshima Junko.  
  
He lowered reddened eyes that looked sunken in like a few days old corpse, and looked at her for a moment, their eyes met and he said nothing at all. Then, as if getting sheepish he suddenly pulled the black sleeve of his uniform jacket in front of his face and began wiping the tears away. When he was finished, he wiped the blood from his lips and swallowed the last of the blood he could still taste in his mouth.  
  
『Fine… from now on, the fact that Enoshima Junko lives is my fault』Kumagawa Misogi turned the screw one oe time but rather than in Junko, he stepped on the floor itself and turned another screw that seemed to turn the entire building with it as he spun it around. Mukuro could feel the entire world spinning, and then Kumagawa Misogi kicked the screw hard to make it stop. 『This ending where everyone is miserable, where nobody gets what they wanted, it’s all my fault..』

Ikusaba Mukuro’s heart was touched by his words, she felt for the first time in her life somebody had listened to her. It was pointless though, because the very next moment she forgot about it. She forgot about everything, because Kumagawa Misogi had undone everything in the entire world that led up to this scene, he had made all of Junko’s destruction to Hope’s Peak like it never existed in the first place.  
The next time she woke up, she would hate him again, because she forgot, but he would still remember.

 

 ♛ **Finally the intermission is over. Now onto the-**   

 

 ♛ **Wait what, another intermission is happening, are you kidding me?** ♛

 

Kumagawa Misogi regained consciousness raising his head from a desk. For a moment he thought he woke up in the same classroom he always did and Ajimu was awaiting him, but this one was markedly different. There were several desks hastily tied together in the center of the room to form a bigger table, there was a chair with a pile of manga next to it, the walls had been vandalized with several screws lodged into them.  
  
This was the room in the old school building he had stolen, to make his false student council. The room where him and Junko first spent their days together, debating again and again about despair, so really they were just spending the time talking about nothing at all. He could not remember, how he had gotten here, or what transpired before this. His head looked around in worry before suddenly, a pair of hands covered his eyes.

“Guess who.”

『Eh… Junko, what are we doing here?』  
  
“Dunno, but my nails are sharp enough I could totally gauge both of your eyes out right now, don’t you think they’d look like pretty little blue jewels?”

『Don’t joke around, nothing about me is pretty.』Kumagawa said as he grabbed her hands and pried them off of his face. He suspected a trick for a moment but when he turned his head around he saw her, Enoshima Junko, and held both of her hands with tipped red fingernails that dug into his skin.  
  
『Junkai-chan must have thrown a tantrum and thrown us back into the fake old school building to buy time before she prepares another trial since her big secret got revealed.』  
  
“Mmmmm… Sure! Let’s go with that.”

『Don’t be lazy and rely on me, I’m the stupid one here. You tell me what you think happened.』  
  
“How a I supposed to know? All of this is the work of soe other Junko, so it’s not my fault. Also, it’d take me ten seconds to figure this all out, but that ten seconds of effort is too much, I’m tiiiiiiiiired Misogi.”

『So lazy!』Kumagawa said before deciding to walk forward. Something to him felt off but this entire world was off already. The entire thing was a distortion, a lie, a twisted story concocted by Enoshima unko and he had been aware of it for a long time.  
  
He walked down the hallway and opened the first door he could and threw it open. What was waiting for the two of them on the other side was not another classroom in the old class building but rather a scene on the beach.

“Oi, Oi, Oi, what’s happening? Is it something interesting? Is there blood? Screams? Betrayala? Don’t block the picture, I don’t want to miss it!” Enoshima Junko said, jumping up excitedly behind him, standing on the toes of her boots.

『This isn’t the movies you know, try not to get so excited you misery fetishist.』Kumagawa sighed as he looked and saw a trail of footprints. Slugglishly, he himself was walking forward on the beach until he came across a sand castle. He stepped on it, and caused it to crumble, and looked down to see a blonde girl with pig tails who had been hard at working building it.  
  
“Hey, hey, hey when did this happen? I don’t remember a scene like this.”

『Gosh, are you one of those people that does nothing but talk through movies?』  
  
“Well that’s because what I have to say is far more interesting than the movie.”

『You’re the only one who thinks that.』  
  
“Yes, and my opinion is the only one that matters. So decrees I, Enoshima Junko-chan!”

『Who died and made you queen?』  
  
“My mentor, Marie Antoinette!”

『Wait, we’re bringing that joke back! But last time you made that joke you said you were her mentor, everything’s all backwards now!』Kumagawa quipped, grabbing the side of his head and throwing his whole body into it like his quip was making him lose his mind. He looked up at the scene playing out in front of him, and suddenly the blonde girl in pig tails collapsed in her sand castle in front of him and he began to panic taking her up in his arms.  『Wait, I remember this. The first thing I remember is that I was talking with Ajimu-san and a door appeared in her room, she warned me not to go but I opened it up and suddenly I was on a beach with you. You told me that this was all your plan and that you were going to lure everybody to this virtual world and make them play in a killing game and I told you that you could try because no matter what Medaka-chan and Zenkichi-chan would never let anybody die. Then, suddenly you lost consciousness and the next morning everybody else arrived, and you forgot you had even told me that this was your plan all along, or why we were here. Then, everything proceeded pretty much the same way it did this time around except...』  
  
Suddenly, the scene playing through the open door shifted. There was a countdown as he heard film strips running in the background, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Then the new setting, the old beach house by the hotel everybody had gathered for a party. Kumagawa did not think Junko’s killing game would start at all, after all he could leave it up to Medaka and Zenkichi, they were so strong they had even taken Komaeda from his side and reformed him. If he was an existence that always lost, than they would always win. At the time he truly believed that those two could be called heroes, and all he needed to do was step out of their way.  
  
Then suddenly, the lights switched off. He looked around and saw a lamp cord in front of him. It must have been deliberately placed there to navigate when the light was shut off, yes, even an idiot like himself could put that together. He grabbed onto the lamp cord and followed it and saw Komaeda reaching under the table, illuminated by a small amount of glowing liquid that hung off a knife.  
  
Kumagawa also saw the reflection of a much longer skewer between the floorboards. Just by a small chance, a stroke of bad luck, he had seen the evidence of the fate that was awaiting Komaeda, his precious junior, his vice president, his shadow, the version of him that could be reformed that could long for hope and quickly his body moved without him realizing it. He pushed Komaeda out of the way, and stood under the table in his place.  
  
He was skewered once right in his side. He could survive through that though, maybe the person underneath would realize they had the wrong one, and then stop. He looked down and saw Shiranui through the floorboards. In an instant, even though he was stupid he understood that as well. She must have planned to kill Komaeda in order to protect Zenkichi, because unlike Zenkichi who could believe in his friends compeltely, Shiranui always worried about Zenkichi’s naivete, she always went behind his back to protect him. He gripped his side and tried to open his mouth to speak to her, to convince her to stop. They were both minuses after all, but Shiranui stabbed him straight through the stomach, and the words were caught in his throat, only blood trickled out from his still open mouth. After that, he could hear the squelch of his flesh, and the clean noise of metal siding in and out of him. His whole world became those noises, and he could feel all of himself, his everything, draining from the many holes that had been carved in his stomach.

He collapsed forward on the floor, his blood already beginning to seep through the loose floorboards. He could no longer move his body, but his eyes were still open. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Komaeda looking back at him from the few meters away Kumagawa had kicked him to save him. Komaeda was smiling, he was smiling with rapturous joy at his death. Kumagaawa thought, even though they had chosen different sides, even though Komaeda wanted hope and reform.  
  
He had been holding out hope all this time for Komaeda’s sake. That the two of them could still be friends in the end. As he looked at Komaeda’s smile though, he realized, that hope Kumagawa held onto Komaeda would just call it a stepping stone to greater hope. A weak, and worthlss hope, he didn’t care one bit about the hope held by a person like Kumagawa.  『 _You planned this from the start, didn’t you?_ 』  
  
Kumagawa wanted to say, but his throat had been carved up as well, and all he could do was gargle his own blood and then die a few moments afterwards.  
  
Then, suddenly he woke up again. In the same bedroom with Enoshima Junko, as Hinata Hajime stumbled in through their door once more.

『Hajime-chan?』  
  
“Huh? How do you know my name? Wait, that’s not important put some pants on dude!”

Kumagawa slammed the door shut. Enoshima Junko approached him from behind and wrapped her arms around him, he could not shake the distinct impression that he was being constricted around his waste by the tightening scales of a snake.”So everytime you died you woke up in the same game, huh? You must have felt despair, no despair upon despair, a more despairful despair…. Upupupupupu….” As she embraced him, she leaned close to hiss in his ear. “Sucks to be you…”

  ♛ **Resuming the main trial now… wait what? Another intermission?** ♛

HInata Hajime woke up from sleeping in the middle of class. Rather than on the desk, he was sprawled out on the floor, as he slept he sucked on his fingers like a child, and his legs crossed over one another forming a shape that looked vaguely like a four. He slept upside down like this, until the class bell woke him.  
  
He felt embarrassed for falling asleep in class at first, until he looked around and noticed there was nobody else in the class with him. It was entirely empty. “Where is everyone…?” He sat up and looked around and saw nothing in the classroom had been touched except for a cartoonish drawing of Monokuma on the board.  
  
He walked out into the hallway, and grabbed his own head trying to wrack his thoughts. Even if his head was empty, there had to be some kind of echoes of memories to tell him what led to this place. “How did we end up here… We were on the island and then…Komaeda! I have to go find Komaeda, he’s lost and all alone he’s no good on his own, he ran away again but this time I’m going to find him and protect him…”  
  
Protect him from who? Kumagawa? The rest of the people on the island? Himself? He had no idea but Hinata could not let the boy escape from hi. He rushed down the hallway pushing his legs as fast as they would run. He was definitely not the super high school level sprinter, or long distance runner, or track team member. His running was clumsy, and he made an awful amount of noise running down the hallway, his feet and limbs flying everywhere. If he were an anime character right now, somebody would probably make a gif making fun of the way his hina-dash had been animated, and he would definitely become a meme on twitter.  
  
He rushed down pushing every door open in the hallway looking for Komaeda. Until he was out of breath, “Where… Where… I have to make it to his side, come on…” As he reached the end of the hallway, he threw open the door hoping to see the each outside. Instead, he only saw another hallway of the same school building, filled with even more doors.  
  
Suddenly, he heard a voice behind him.

 **“Quit pretending like you care so much. There’s no way you could ever care so much about another person, you’re too busy caring about yourself.”** **  
**

“How the hell do you know that?”  
  
**“Because I know you.”** **  
** **  
** “You don’t know anything about me!” Hinata said, turning around with anger until he suddenly stopped and caught sight of the shadow that had been following him. He saw a boy whose face looked so neutral he did not even see to have facial muscles. He was dressed up in a black suit, but despite being well muscled and filling the curves of the sleek cut suit well enough Hinata could not shake the feeling that the person in front of him looked dressed up the same way corpses in coffins looked dressed up by morticians on the days of theri wake. His limbs were long, and thin, and even longer was his hair which dragged on the floor as he walked and even further covered his expressions. “K-k-k-Kamuura….” Hinata said, his voice shaking in fear.  
  
**“Because… I am you…”** **  
** **  
** Hinata looked down and saw that what he thought was his body was no longer there. It was like his animator had forgotten to draw his legs for this frame, he was only a floating torso at this point. He knew where his legs had gone though, Kamuura had stole them from him, and he could hear his own footsteps, with sleek long black pointed toed shoes. Each footstep echoed long down the hallway like the approach of the reaper.

“N-nono please. I can’t do this right now, I have to… I have to go… I’ve got to be somewhere I know it.”

 **“It’s okay. If you’re scared, I’ll embrace you.”** Izuru Kamukura said, slowly walking towards him. His fingers looked so long as they intwined with Hajime’s, but he realized a moment later that they were exactly the same size as they knottd togethe perfectly. His hair wrapped around him fom every angle, and from Hajime’s torso, ther were still bones, like the base of his spine, and his rip sticking out.  
  
Hajime felt his eyes swirling with some kind of emotion they were sunken in, tired, tear streaked out of the corners of his eyes as he felt some kind of fear, at the same time sweat fell down his face, his face reddened, and despite all of the panic apparent on his features he was smiling. For some reason, getting enveloped, getting consumed by Kamukura like this was oddly comforting. Kamukura looked down on him, his face still utterly neutral, not even a single twitch registered on his expression. Hinata felt everything at once, fear, sadness ecstasy, and Kamukura felt nothing.His bones hanging out from his torso, suddenly curled up and wrapped around the other boy, reaching out for his hair and getting caught in it. Just like the other boy was devouring him, he wanted to devour Kamukura too. To devour as he was devoured, ouroboros. That was what Junkai had described this entire scenario as, just a snake devouring itself, infinity, something that could never end.  
  
Suddenly, Hinata pushed the other away. He regained all of his body, and stepped forward on his own two feet while Kamukura merely picked hiself off the floor, not even reacting to the sudden rejection. “No… You’re not me! I have friends, I need to get to them!” Hinata said, as he wiped his face off determination replacing the mixed emotions on his features.  
  
**“Fine then. I’ll show you how you really feel about those friends.”**

“Fine, show it to me. I don’t want to run away anymore, I have to move forward and face who I am so I can get back to them.”

 

  ♛ **INTERMISSION INTERMISSION INTERMISSION INTERMISSION INTERMISSION** ♛

 

Kumagawa had opened several doors in the hallway at this point. Each one of them showed him a scene from one of the rounds he had endured. This door was just like the rest, eagerly Enoshima Junko watched him from over his shoulder.

In the second round it was usually some combination of Fuyuhiko and Pekoyama who was either the murderer, or the victim. Just like always, even though he had no business with either of them he tried to get involved.

『 How about Pekopeko-chan?』  
  
“...If I let me call you Pekoyama will you never call me by that terrible nickname again?”

『 I thought it was cute.』  
  
“You don’t need to put on that fake smile, Kumagawa-kun. I already know I’m not very fun to talk to, I’ve never been one for talking in the first place, I’m quiet, creepy, and always watching others expressionlessly behind my glasses. You don’t need to keep pretending to have fun talking to me.”

『 Awe, what! But I’m totally having fun.』  
  
“As long as you can keep laughing, you’ll always have fun that’s what you told me right?”

『Yep. That’s why I’m having lots and lots of fun right now.』  
  
“No, you aren’t. Even if I’m not good at understanding other people as people as people, I’ve been trained to detect lies, I have keen eyes after all. To begin with, your lie is completely nonsensical, I can’t even tell a joke properly what’s so funny about me?”

『Then, I’ll just laugh at you and make fun of you.』  
  
“I don’t particularly feel like being bullied either. If you try to bully me I can just whack you on the head with my practice sword, I’m stronger than you, you know.”

『Hmmm, but I think you can be in on the joke too.』  
  
“Impossible, I can’t tell jokes. I’m far too serious.”

『No, Peko-chan you don’t get it, every joker like me needs a straight man! You’re fine just as you are, reacting to jokes with a completely serious face, that’s a class manzai duo!』

“... I still don’t see why you’re going so far to justify talking to me.”

『I’ll come up with as many reasons as you need to hear, but there doesn’t need to be a good reason. 』  
  
“Yes there has to be, I have to be of use to others.”

『No you don’t have to be! I want to talk to you, because you’re you! You’re always paranoid around others, you’re cold, you have no self esteem, you never smile, you’re a monster who kills people and feels nothing about it, you’re yakuza trash, but you’re still you, Peko-chan. You’re the one I want to talk to. The person in front of me, and nobody else.』

“Your… your standards are just twisted, that’s all.”

『What do you have to complain about twisted standards? You’re in the Yakuza after all. It’s not like you were going to have a normal relationship, but you know even if it’s an abnormal relationship, even if you two never understood each other up until this point I think you should keep trying. 』  
  
“Wait you mean… the young master…”

『I’m sure just the thought of you makes him smile.』  
  
“No… there’s no way. I’ve totally misunderstood our relationship up until this point, there’s noway he wants me… I’m a no good girl who can’t even smile so… So I should just…”

『Live, Peko-chan! Live until you can smile!』Kumagawa Misogi said, grabbing both of her cheeks and pulling her face into a smile. 『Even if it’s a fake smile, I won’t look down on it, because putting in the effort to fake a smile, to lie, must mean you really valued something, it means you were really trying. 』

Her lips quivered, and thinking of Fuyuhiko she tried to smile. Watching the memory from a third person perspective he had no idea if he had managed to get Pekoyama to smile in that moment, because the back of his past self’s head was blocking her face.  
  
That round, Pekoyama killed Ikusaba Mukuro. She had done it under the orders of Fuyuhiko, expecting Mukuro to be the traitor, but really she had done it not to follow her young master’s orders but to be the one holding the blade instead of him. She was so afraid Fuyuhiko would not be able to control his temper, and would strike forward blindly, and so she had grabbed the blade first.  
  
Kumagawa MIsogi had been the one to discover the body not in the beach house but in his own cabin bathroom hat time, all of them had decided to try and hold a swim suit beach party together, and he was wearing his tunks and had left Mukuro alone just for a little bit. He walked in on the beach house to see Ikusaba Mukuro slumped up against the wall, her head crushed and cracked through the center with blood leaking out of it. He could not even see the cute little freckles on her cheek anymore, her face was so covered in her own blood. He walked over to touch her, only to see red appear on his hand when he removed it.  
  
Ikusaba Mukuro, the way she was now would never smile at him again. Not unless the whole world reset itself. He looked up still staring at the blood to see something had been written on the walls in the excess of blood that Ikusaba Mukuro had lost. “Ikusaba Mukuro died like a dog in the gutter, that’s all an Ultimate Despair deserves.”  
  
At the trial he found out that Pekoyama Peko, the person he had tried so hard to befriend was the one who did it.

He slammed the door shut, and walked to the next door in the hallway pulling it open. This time, Fuyuhiko and himself were sitting together on the floor of Ajimu Najimi’s cabin, the tatami matted floor.  
  
“Yeah, this is good. I can’t relax unless it’s Tatami.”

『Wait, what did you need me for? This is the first time in my life anybody has needed a useless person like me.』  
  
“Yo, I told you to wait here and shut up with the questions while I went to get something from the supermarket, don’t go stir crazy and start talking like Komaeda.” Kuzuryuu Fuyuhiko said, as he slammed a 60 oz glass bottle on the floor in front of him. “Oh, here it is.”

『Is this… alcohol?』  
  
“Nah, it’s just water. Listen up! Underage drinking is not allowed under any circumstances. Lemme tell you, the smell’s enough to make me pass out. I advise you not go within 300 feet of the stuff.”

『One time my father showed me affection by not hitting my head when he threw a sake bottle at it. 』  
  
“Dude, can you quit randomly getting depressing. Regardless, it just wouldn’t feel right with only a plastic bottle. C’mon, take it.”

『Could you be talking about… a brotherhood cup?』  
  
“Wh-what… You don’t want to?”

『No, it’s nothing like that… but I never had a family, for a good reason Fuyu-chan.』

“What are you babbling about? Even scum like us Yakuza had family you know? We’re the very bottom of society, you and me, I mean the way you grew up always fighting off hoods that were trying to rough you up, defending your territory, how is that any different from a street brawler in the Yakuza? Don’t you suddenly pretend you have such high fucking standards…”

『Awe, yay. You lowered your standards for me, I’m so honored. 』  
  
“Haha, obviously. Don’t think about it too much. THis isn’t about making us real brothers or anything. This is a promise to return alive… together. I will never die… I mean, I’ve already died once… And you and Peko already saved that life, after all. But you look like the type who dies easily, y’nkow? So I thought it’d be good if we made a promise like this.”

『You want me to live? Heyyyy, I don’t die that easily. I’m a man who will never die.』  
  
“See, you’re always puffing your chest out with all that swagger. Too bad you’ve got nothing to back it up, but… that’s why I’m saying that I’ll give you half of my life! I mean you… You’re my very first friend. Even now… I’m still worried about whether I deserve to lead the clan… but I feel like that might change if I get out of here alive.”

『Fuyu-chan… you...』  
  
“I think your philosophy is the best dude, who ever thought we’d agree? I guess it’s just the wisdom of no good trash like the two of us. But, all that talk about how your life is meaningless… it’s no good, I think you’re living to find that meaning, I’m sure of it. If you’re unsure, then live and live on… Search persistently and keep looking for it. ANd then, you should… you should be able to find it.”  
  
『Yeah, you’re right…I… I really want to find it, too. 』He accepted the cup, and Fuyuhiko did the same. Suddenly, he smashed the cup afterwards.  
  
“Some say shattering the cup is a bad omen, but I prefer it this way. I mean, if you break something that means it can’t be broken ever again. I kind of like that thinking… reminds me of you… If we’re going to keep living together, we might as well curse ourselves with ever omen in the book, see what bad luck can throw our way. Oh… that’s right! Do you wanna be my underling when we get out of here?”

『You mean like a little brother? Can I still beat people up? Oh, oh can you cut one of my fingers off, or one of my limbs, or scoop my eyeball out with a spoon when I disobey you?』  
  
“Gosh, you’re so weird. Fine then, you can be my bro, and my underling. We gotta give it our all and think of a way out of here.” Fuyuhiko said, as he reached forward and grabbed the broken cup piece, squeezing his hand so hard around it, it cut his flesh and started to make him bleed.

That game, he had managed to befriend Fuyuhiko and Peko and make them live past the second round. Then, the third round came and blood splashed across the hospital floor. Enoshima Junko was asleep in her bed, and in front of her bed a three way standoff had occured. Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu had rushed forward swinging the sword he had taken from Peko, and suddenly when Kumagawa moved forward to block the sword, he was pushed aside.  
  
The sword rammed straight through Pekoyama Peko’s gut. She smiled up at Fuyuhiko. “D-don’t blame yourself, young master, I would be happy to die for your sake… so please don’t…” her body made an ugly noise, as she slid off of his blade and onto the floor.  
  
Fuyuhiko looked at Kumagawa, in a moment as a tear welled up in his last natural remaining eye, all affection in that gaze quickly dried up and what was left as tears kept pouring and pouring out was a well of bottomless hatred. “This is your fault. If only you hadn’t gotten involved with us. I would have… I would have become your brother, but you chose her in the end.”

『No, wait. I really wanted to keep living with you Fuyu-chan, but those words apply to Junko as well, she doesn’t see any meaning in the world to her the world is entirely empty that’s why I want her to keep living until...』  
  
“You should have died a long time ago. If only you had died, then things wouldn’t have turned out this bad… because you were here, the worst possible thing happened, I killed Peko with my own hands…”  
  
At that moment, Fuyuhiko turned the sword on his own neck.

『Wait, no you have to keep living! You promised! You have to try and survive the trial! Peko-chan wouldn’t want this, keep searching the world together with me you promised-』  
  
“No matter how much I search the outside world, I won’t find Peko there…” Fuyuhiko said, before slitting his own throat. He fell to the ground and Kumagawa reached out for him but he could not catch up to him, and after Fuyuhiko had quickly bled out and died he was too afraid to touch his dead form. Even in death, Fuyuhiko would reject the notion that somebody like Kumagawa, a cursed existence, could ever have a family.  
  
A double murder in the third round, a murder suicide, nobody was executed that round. Kumagawa closed the door shut, behind him Enoshima Junko laughed. “Upupupu! I don’t get you! It’s like you want to be miserable, you know those two would have treated you much nicer than I ever would. I can’t ever become your family, or your substitute for all the misery you’ve suffered so far in life, yet you always choose me in the end. You make no sense at all!”

『Yeah. It’s completely senseless I guess… Nothing in this world makes any sense.』  
  
There were fifty two doors in this hallway in total, if he ever wanted to get out he would have to try opening them one by one.

 

  ♛ **INTERMISSION INTERMISSION INTERMISSION INTERMISSION INTERMISSION** ♛

 

 **“This is the first action we ever took of our own free will.”** Kamukura said, as he led Hajime along by the hand. Despite all the acid in his tongue for the other boy, Kamukura was still holding his hand gently. Around him, there was no noise at all, and barely any light lit up the old school building hallway. He noticed, neither him nor Kamukura was breathing, he could not even feel the slightest traces of life or warmth from either of their bodies. The silence itself was oppressive, Hinata could feel himself being judged by it, as if to say, this is what you are, the sound of nothing at all.  
  
Then suddenly, as they were hiding in the shadows several students in hope’s peak uniforms ran past them. One stabbed a sword into the other, and yelled how she would kill all of them. Another grabbed an automatic weapon and fired wildly, having no idea what they were doing. A student with red hair drove a spike again and again crying out that he had loved the girl he drove a spike into. Then, he saw a pair of lovers and in jealousy, drove a spike into their back and hammered it in with the blunt end of a shovel, while she begged him to stop, or to kill her quickly, just anything to escape from the pain. In the background a chainsaw revved.  
  
When it was all over, Kamukura Izuru was standing in the middle of it splashed with the blood of the boy whose face he had twisted up so badly by choosing to have him fall on his own chainsaw. It would have been much easier to disarm him nonfatally. In fact, he could have done so, but he chose this, to kill him in the most brutal way possible, because he thought he might see something, the single spark which Enoshima Junko kept huddled close to her chest, in all of this bloodshed.  That spark which somehow allowed a girl who might as well have been stillborn for how little she was born with, for how little she wanted to keep living, alive for seventeen more years, the spark that made her hold out, the spark that made her try.  
  
A single spark was all that was needed to ignite a great fire, or a fireworks show, that’s how the saying went. And, for a fiction of a second as he tore that boy’s face apart he thought he had glimpsed it.  
  
“This… this wasn’t my fault. Enoshima made them kill each other, and then she framed me. I only killed one of them.”  
  
**“So. Is it better if you only killed one, instead of killing all of them?”**

“N-no… I didn’t want to kill anybody. It’s Enoshima’s fault, she’s the one who did this. I just watched and reacted.”  
  
**“So, is it better just to watch?”** **  
** **  
** “I… I didn’t do any of this on my own. Shut up!”

Then, suddenly the scene shifted between the two of them. They were standing on a tatami mat floor, several men in suits were dead on the ground. On a desk, a man had been stabbed several times with a sword and he had died head on the desk like he was bowing. Fuyuhiko paced back and forth, running a hand through his shaved hair. Pekoyama sat at the edge of the desk.  
  
The man dead was Fuyuhiko’s uncle, as well as the rest of the extended family, The kuzuryuu clan were a close family, and killing a parent to succeed to early was the utlimate of tabooos within the family, like a subordinate killing their boss. The yakuza took this honor stuff seriously, the whole clan had united to kill both Pekoyama and Fuyuhiko for what they had done.  
  
However, even an extended family of Yakuza was not a match for somebody who possessed the ultimate yakuza talent as well as many others. Kamukura looked up from the blood shed, careful not to step on any of the pools of blood that had puddled and stained the tatami. He looked up at Fuyuhiko expression utterly neutral. Fuyuhiko was on edge, because a moment ago he had seen Kamukura slaughter so many people without even blinking.  
  
“Why… why did you help us so much? Did Enoshima send you?”  
  
**“She did, but I could have refused her if I really wanted to. I was curious, what does it feel like, killing your own father? Your extended family? What are you feeling right now?”**

“What the fuck are you even saying?”  
  
**“Sure, you were just defending yourself, it was self defense, but you know… if you think about it justice was on their side. They were putting down an upstart brat who murdered his own father and mother because he couldn’t be patient in time for succession, who valued his own life so much he’d kill the rest of his family to preserve it.”** **  
** **  
** “Shut… shut up how the hell am I supposed to know! I wasn’t fucking thinking of any of that stuff, I wasn’t even thinking of myself.”

Kamukura’s eyes trailed over and he saw Pekoyama still sitting at the desk, clutching her own sword and trembling. That sword was all that was left to her now, she had eradicated the entirety of the family that had taken her in. All that was left was grunts that would obey the sole remaining leader’s only words. The famed Kuzuryuu’s, the so called ethical and honorable, traidtional Yakuza family held together by old time values, was no more. With every shiver she gave, Fuyuhiko’s pupils seemed to shake in concern.  
  
**“Oh, I see. You weren’t doing it for yourself, you were doing it for her? Does killing for another person make it okay? I wonder… what are you feeling right now, do you resent her for having to go so far to protect her? Or… do you feel validated? I want to know… hey, if I killed her right now, if I took away the person you’d burn the whole world to protect what would you show me.”** **  
**

“Shut the fuck up!”  
  
**“Relax, it was only a joke.”** **  
**

“You’re fucking terrible at telling jokes!”

Hinata Hajime began backing away form the scene. He grabbed his own stomach, feeling nauseous, he had never seen that many corpses piled together in his life. “That’s not… that’s not me, I wanted to be friends with Peko and Fuyuhiko. I’d never say something so terrible to them. It’s just Enoshima… she did this…”

As he was backing away, suddenly he tripped over something. He looked forward and saw a man in a labcoat laying on the ground as a corpse, his head completely smashed in. All around him there were other scientists on the ground.  
  
**“Enoshima never told me to do this.”**

“Who are they…?”  
  
**“These are the men who made us. All of the members of the Kamukura project. When I got tired of them monitoring my activity, I slaughtered every last one of them in an instant so the school building would be a little quieter.”**

“That’s not… it’s because they made us into this monster, they were our VIctor Frankenstein. We were just killing them for revenge.”

**“That’s not what I was thinking at the time. All I thought was, ‘I really love my teachers, who diligently taught me about every talent. All I know about the world comes from them, they’re the only thing I can rely on, that’s why… I wonder what would happen if I severed that precious connection to the world.”**

“No… Nononono, that’s not what I think like. They deserved to die for making me into this, it’s because I was angy at them for using me as a human experiment, it’s because it was their fault… yeah… yeah. It’s their fault that I fell into despair and became like this.”

 **“Oh. You thought you were doing this because you were in despair?”** Kamukura Izuru stepped forward and walked all the way towards the door at the end of the hallway. He opened it and they walked outside for a little while.  
  
Suddenly Munakata Kyosuke was surrounded by reserve course students wearing monokuma masks. Before their abmush could be succesfully completed though, suddenly from nowhere a man with long black hair appeared, killing all of them in six fluid movements. Without even looking at Munakata he disappeared.  
  
**“Enoshima had measures in place to kill Munakata so in the future, he would never become a threat to despair. I made sure he lived, whenever I felt like it I helped the side of hope too.”** **  
**

“You’re not… an Ultimate Despair?”

 **“I never considered myself one of those Ultimate Despairs in 77-B, if they would start to lose I would help them, if they would start to win I would sabotage them. They were just chess pieces on a board, Enoshima the black queen, and Munakata the white king.”** **  
**

“Whose side are you on?”  
  
**“I’m above things like right or wrong, or taking sides. I just wanted to see which would become more interesting to me.”**

Suddenly, above him it began to rain down students again. Hinata had fallen to his knees, and he had to crawl away desperately to escape. He heard the splattering, of fallen reserve course students hitting the concrete.  
  
Kamukura put a hand on his shoulder and whispered. **“Aren’t you happy? Aren’t you thinking, better them than me?”**

“No, I don’t want to be like you, I never want to be like you. If I had a choice, I never would have become you…”  
  
The sky cracked open, and more reserve course students fell. They broke against the concrete, and the sky bokre even further causing more of them to rain down. **“Look. The people that were killed because we were born. Our existence… sparked a chain of events that led to this.”**

Hajime Hinata finally finished crawling inside, threw the door shut and looked away. He huddled himself against the wall, hiding his head in his own lap while he clutched the side of his head.  
  
“I didn’t kill them. It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t have a choice.”

 **“Oh, so if you keep you head down and become a victim, then it’s okay to kill this many?”** **  
**

“Shut up, that’s not what I’m saying. You’re just twisting my words. You’re just like Enoshima, all you want to do is look at the worst and feel despair at it.”

**“You’re lamenting the worst possible outcome, but the truth is you just don’t see it. You didn’t even understand the consequences of your actions. You were too stupid to even try to. Just like with Komaeda, you only wanted to experience the beautiful parts of him, without ever confronting the ugliness underneath. You saw his beautiful pale skin and fetishized his death like quality, but didn't see the slime underneath the skin.”**

**“** Shut up…I didn't think of him that way, I never would! Beauty in death, what kind of sicko thinks that! I wanted him to live more than anybody else! Stop insulting him, stop defiling his memory and saying he was already dead to begin with just because you can't handle the lost! I could never kill people as easily as you.”

 **“You wouldn’t be able to kill, unless you wanted to. Nobody can force you to do what you don’t want to, and you were the strongest person in existence at the time.  They weren’t employing mind control, there’s no way you would have become somebody like me if you weren’t already empty and devoid of morals to begin with.”** **  
**

“I’d never become like you! The scientists tricked me, they used me! They made me into you without my consent, I'd never want to become someone like you!”  
  
**“No, you signed a consent form remember, this is exactly what you wanted. I don’t think there’s a single outcome where you don’t become like me, Enoshima was wrong. When it comes to cold hard reasoning all roads do in fact lead to Rome.”** **  
**

“What…? What are you talking about?”

 

  ♛ **FLASHBACK FLASHBACK FLASHBACK FLASHBACK FLASBHACKFLASHBACK** ♛

 

Through trial and error, Kumagawa Misogi threw open another door. Enoshima Junko rested her elbow on his shoulder and looked forward with curiosity. “Soooo, what happened this time?”

『 Kurokami-san and I… started to act like friends for the first time, because we were both helping the sick at the hospital together.』

The Kumagawa Misogi of the past walked to the hospital steps. He offered Kurokami Medaka a drink from the vending machine.  
  
“Coffee? But I hate bitter things.”

『Haha, that’s so childish. I’ve been liking the taste of bitter things more and more lately, well it’s all I taste really.』  
  
“Kumagawa, what are you doing? Buying me a drink? Making casual conversation with me? For the first time in your life, you’re acting like a proper senpai rather than my mortal enemy.”

『Medaka-chan I… I never wanted to be your enemy.』  
  
“Then, why did you try to attack me so many times? Why did you send Akune at me before I had even met you.”

『 I was afraid… I thought, if I wasn’t the strongest person around that I would lose everything, because my entire life the moment somebody stronger than me appeared they took everything from me, and stomped me into the ground.』  
  
“But I hadn’t even done anything…”

『 Yeah, you’re right. I was completely wrong. I wasn’t seeing you, I was just taking out every single person who had mistreated me in the past on you, but that wasn’t your fault, you had nothing to do with that, you should not have been forced to bear my grudges for me.』  
  
“Kumagawa, I would have happily helped you work out your pain, I would have fought with you as many times as you wanted if you just told me how you felt.”

『 I didn’t want to appear weak in front of you. The moment I saw you, I thought you existed as permanent proof that there would always be somebody better than me, like how Goku is to Vegeta but… you’re not my destined rival. You’re just a little girl I took out my inferiority complex on.』  
  
“I… I had lots of fun fighting though. I wanted to help make you happy, I really don’t mind that you see me as those things if that was what-”

『Medaka-chan. I don’t want to be remade into a happy person by you.』  
  
“What?”

『 I don’t want to exhaust myself, trying to become somebody worthy of you. I think, if you put somebody on a pedestal, and say you have to earn the right to be by their side, then that wasn’t a good relationship to begin with, that wasn’t worth earning.』  
  
“Then… what do you want?”

『We’ve tried being mortal enemies, and uneasy allies. Couldn’t we be friends? If you want to make me happy, just stay by my side and smile at me. I’ll be happy enough with that.』  
  
“Just that small amount of happiness?”

『 Yeah, I don’t want to get too greedy and end up like Junko.』He said, before the both of them burst out laughing together. 『Hey, don’t worry about your sister, I believe just like Mukuro-chan and Junko, you and Naze-san will be normal siblings one day as long as the future exists, as long as you keep working on it you can work it out. I’ll help you, or maybe I’ll make things worse if I get bored, but I’ll be there for you regardless.』  
  
That round, because Kumagawa befriended Kurokami Medaka, Tsumiki Mikan was neglected and plotted a double murder.  The scene in the doorway changed in front of him, and he saw Tsumiki Mikan stabbing Naze’s body over and over again. Kumagawa told her to run away, that he would take the credit for her murder. He told her to go hide until the trial began he would think of something.  
  
A few minutes later, Kurokami Medaka swung open the door, to see Kumagawa Misogi standing on the other side, waiting calmly, his hands drenched in her sister’s blood. He placed his hands together, and smiled at her. She flew into a blind rage.  
  
The next thing Kuagawa knew, his head had been smashed across the concrete hard enough to leave a crater sized impact. With the last of his breath he muttered. 『 It’s my fault that Naze-san is dead, forgive me for your loss, Medaka-chan I apologize for everything up till now, so plese forgive me. I don’t want to die yet. Please, just don’t punch me anymore. I swear, I won’t wound people’s hearts anymore, I’ll leave you alone, I won’t show myself before you ever again once I get off this island. I’m very sorry about what I’ve done. I beg you, give me a chance.』  
  
“Is it true? This time? This time, this time, this time, this time, this time, is true, right?”

『Yes, only Medaka-chan will trust me right? Medaka-chan will forgive me, because I’m her friend.』  
  
“We’ve known each other for so long, but we were never friends.” Kurokami Medaka said, before crushing his head in instantly, splattering his brains along the concrete.  
  
The double murder that time had two different murderers, Monokuma had to make an adjustment to the rules in the middle of the trial.

“Wow, this always happens doesn’t it? You string them along on false promises, and then when it doesn’t turn out to be true, when you always fall short they hate you for it.” Enoshima Junko said playfully pinching him on the cheek. “Maybe you should just keep your mouth shut.”

『 Then we wouldn’t be able to do our trademark banter, Junko.』  
  


  ♛ **INTERMISSIONINTERMISSIONINTERMISSIONoNTERMISSIONINTERMISSION** ♛

 

Hajime Hinata threw open one of the doors, and saw his childhood self run through him past the hallway. His childhood self wore  a hoodie, and red tennis shoes, his face was scraped up from a fight he had gotten in and covered with a bandage, but otherwise he looked just like any normal child. He looked out and saw Hope’s Peak Academy in the distance, his parents just by coincidence had moved a few blocks away, and all this time he had been looking at such an academy. Those who were talented usually discovered an interest and refined it at a young age. However, for him from a young age his interest was not in any specific hobby, activity, sport, music, art, no, he was always looking at talent itself.

His interest was in those people, he thought they were unbelievably special. He wanted to be like them. As his childhood self continued to stare at the tower in front of him, he stopped playing because he had no interests in particular. He stopped attending sports, he went to school only the prerequisite amount of time and then went home he never attended extracurricular activities or hung out with friends after school. If he was friendly with somebody, it was only because they bumped into each other in the hallway day after day and it was better to be on good terms with them. He never walked home with anybody, he was a latch key kid so his parents were never home when he got there. He would simply make food for himself, and then return to the computer and keep checking the message boards that monitored the talented chosen few of hope’s peak like celebrities.

The rope that he had swung on to play with in his youth, left behind now became a noose that tied around his neck. He was just a plain student at a plain high school, he had not even bothered to study hard to get high test scores. He was not even one of those students who went to a school with a cool uniform like in anime, his was just a plain brown. If he was in anime, he’d be one of the brown haired background students that only exists in still shots of the class. He doubted any animator would even bother to draw him more than once to animate him a little bit. He reached up to readjust his tie when he looked at the news of the Hope’s Peak new addition of a second reserve course that would accept anybody who could pass an exam, and looked down to see that the tie he was adjusting was made of rope. It had become nothing more than a noose.  
  
He reacted with fear, pulling his hand away only to see that his hand was bandaged up. In a panic he tore away at the bandages around his hand to see what was underneath. It was his own hand again, same but different and his hand was clutching onto something. A rat. A rat with two red eyes. A brown rat with two red eyes, a lab rat, it scampered off of his arms and ran away. He looked down and saw his whole arm was bandaged up. As he looked at his body, he saw he was in blue hospital robes, there was an identifying metal band around his wrist, and around his neck was a collar that looked more like a choker, it beeped a warning when he tried to get it off. His hair had already overgrown by this point, and it was falling in his face and getting in the way of it.  He looked up and saw, there were bandages hanging from the ceiling as well, wrapped all around him, keeping him in place.  
  
He was no longer in his family home, he was in a room. He opened up his other hand and saw a small puzzle, the kind that children played with. All around his room, puzzles were solved, and others were broken. The amount was about half and half, like he had solved half the puzzles, and broken the other half to scientifically see which would be more fun for him, solving for breaking things.

Who was he now even? This, this little child was the culmination of all of hope’s peak work, this was the purpose of that great academy all along? This is what the academy he loved wanted so badly, a little child, who broke his toys, and did nothing but obey what his parents told him. A child who was afraid to leave his room. This was the god they had endeavored so hard to craft with their own two hands? A child with too much power? He did nothing for himself, he did not think for himself, all he ever did was sit in the corner of his room, playing with toys.  
  
Then suddenly, a guillotine swung down from the ceiling cutting him free. He fell face forward on the ground, but he could no longer see because his hair had grown so long that it obscured his face. He waited, waited, waited until suddenly in the darkness a hand appeared. He had no confidence to stand on his own, so he reached forward and grabbed onto that hand, fingers tipped with blood red fingernails, and was pulled forward by her. The darkness hovering over him, crushing him, became nothing more than hair that fell over his shoulders, and tickled at his feet.  
  
As he walked forward, he noticed people were throwing themselves at his feet. He walked over them impassively, hearing the crunch of bones underneath his feet. He no longer cared, he just kept clinging to the hand in front of him, like a child being led along, anything to avoid being unable to move again.  
  
Then suddenly, that hand let go of him and left him all alone. He looked forward and saw Enoshima Junko walking hand in hand with Kumagawa Misogi, smiling a genuine smile. She had told him that they were the same, that they were both unable to feel things, that despair was the only way, and yet she had abandoned hi to walk on his own, and then was smiling, she was feeling things without him. After already setting him on this path.  
  
Unacceptable. Unacceptable. Unacceptable. For the first time in his life, Kamukura Izuru was able to gather up enough emotion to twist his chest, for the first time rather than indifference between those who were underneath him, Kamukura Izuru felt seething hatred. Kamukura looked at his own body, it was covered in a black and white suit, just like the many reserve course students he had stepped over to make it this far. That’s right, all of those people, all one thousand of them had to die to give birth to somebody as brilliant as him. Even his original self counted among that thousand, a sacrifice, human sacrifice in order to summon a god into the world of mortals. Even if he had to step on corpses, he would make them his stepping stones in order to continue living. Yet, this boy Kumagawa Misogi unloved by everyone and everything especially talent, not even suited to becoming a stepping stone, one who should have died as one of the faceless masses, he was the one walking by Enoshima Junko smile, he somehow knew the secret to real emotions that eluded somebody as brilliant as Kamukura, he was… treating them like they were equals.  
  
If somebody like Kumagawa Misogi could smile so happily, just being his normal pathetic self, then why had he thrown everything and everyone away to become somebody who could stand on top of others? What was he trying to do? What did he want? He… he never needed to sacrifice those things in the first place, did he? He didn’t need to shed blood, and have his own blood shed in return in order to feel that warmth, did he?  
  
Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic. He was the worst of the minuses, lower than even Kumagawa Misogi. He just wanted to escape his own existence, he wanted to close his eyes until he could no longer see the bars of the cage anymore.  
  
**“Do you see, this always happens.”**

“No, no, no, no…”

**“Every pathway you could conceivably choose, leads to this end point. Eventually you’ll look down on the road you’re walking down, eventually you’ll reach the day where you realize you’ve become me without even noticing.”**

“This isn’t what I wanted! I didn’t think this would happen when I signed up for the surgery. There’s no way I could have known this would happen! If I had remembered who I was I wouldn’t have done these things, how can you say it’s me doing them!”  
  
**“You claim you’d never do such a thing if you’d known, but here you are… I’m telling you the truth as honestly as I can, you know everything, and you still just want to run away.”** **  
**

“Somebody, help me please! Komaeda! Nanami! Please, please, please help me!”

 **“What do you think is going to happen? They’ll suddenly appear from nowhere and give you a rousing speech about hope even though they’re already dead. Do you think both of them existed to inspire you?”** **  
** **  
** “They were my friends.”  
  
**“You watched Nanami die, so you could feel the tiniest spark of emotion. I thought of six thousand ways to save her at that moment, but when she called out my name and recognized me, I decided I wanted to experience watching somebody precious to me bleed out their last. When she reached out for me, when she begged and started to cry blood and tears mixing in her face, I was feeling so much it made me smile and cry at the same time. The despair of losing a loved one.”**  

“That’s not what I’m like, it was Enoshima’s fault for manipulating me, it was the doctor’s fault for wiping my memories. If I remembered how much I cared about Chiaki I would have saved her…”  
  
**“You didn’t. You didn’t save anybody.”**

“When I was me and not you, I got close to Komaeda, I really wanted to save him. I remembered my feelings for him, even when I had forgotten all about him.”  
  
**“He was nothing to you. You shot him in the chest the first time you met him, you saw him as even lower than Kuagawa. You stepped over his unconscious body like the rest. You thought he was boring, his talent, his personality, his entire being, his existence, it was completely boring to you.”** **  
**

“Stop it… Stop… Komaeda… Nanami… Somebody… Somebody please…”

 **“They’re not coming. All you have is yourself, everything you’ve done was for yourself, you’re the only person you’ve ever valued and yet you never learned to love yourself.  Nobody’s going to save you, miracles don’t exist in this boring world.”**  

“....”  
  
**“Do you know what I think? I think even if we had only been given one talent by that procedure, we still would have become an Ultimate Despair. If we were born with our talent, if we refined it through our life and earned entry to hope’s peak, we sould have been tempted by Enoshima all the same. Having every talent wasn’t enough for us, nothing will ever be good enough for us.”** **  
**

“Stop...please…”

 **“Why should I stop? You’re the one who wished for this?”** **  
  
**

“I didn’t want… I just wanted…”

 

  ♛ **FLASHBACKFLASHBACKFLASHBACKAFLACFLASHABACKAFL** ♛

 

He threw open another door, and saw the fruity colors of the funhouse. Tanaka Gundham leaning against a wall, his arms crossed.

“I’m poisonous, you know…”

『 Hmmm, but I’m used to poison.』

“What do you mean? Befriending Tanaka the forbidden one, do you seek to make the whole world your enemy?”

『It’s always been like that. You shouldn’t have to ask that. Did we ever have any ally in this school? In this world?』  
  
“Fuwah? You know of the secet order of forbidden dragon slayers which has hunted me since my youth? Trying to negate my existence so I can never grow up to fulfill the prophecy of my birth? Still, choosing to starve with me, what a foolish decision I can sustain myself just fine on the dark energies present in this funshouse but you will starve.”

『 You? Do you know the taste of poison your parents make you swallow? How about the taste of licking a peverted teacher’s shoe? The taste of sand that your classmates make you swallow? At the least you know the taste of eating newspaper when it was the only food you obtained? 』  
  
“Keh…? What is this?”

『 THose kind of tastes, are just how it is for the minus. I’ve experienced the worst, that’s why I can endure the worst. I don’t mind at all, being by your side, even if you poison me, even if you betray me in the end, I’ll greet you with a smile, because I’m used to it. I won’t regret it.』  
  
“I… may I hold your hand. I just want to siphon away those powers of yours, in order to increase my own strength. I can only get stronger by devouring others you know, that’s the cost of being a demon.”

『 Sure, fine fine. You know, Gundham-chan, I think you’d make a good minus if you ever made it out of here. CHougasaki the minus who pushes away, Shibushi the minus who loves scars, and then you… the most chuunibiyou of all the minus.Even if you’re poison,even if you have to devour others, I want you to live until you’ve met them, Gundham-chan.』  
  
A few days later, pushed to insanity by his starvation, Gundham Tanaka killed Kumagawa Misogi using the secret of the Octagon. Then, he could not patiently await for morning to come and for the body to be discovered, he started to rip off chunks of his flesh raw and eat it like a wild animal. You know, like that one manga, the one with all the cannibalsim. Gundham could not see whethere or not Kumagawa smiled at him in the end, because in the impact of the crash, his jaw had dislodged from his skull flying in the opposite direction and Kumagawa MIsogi could no longer move it. However, still alive just barely hanging on due to his tough nature, he bled out slowly while he felt something devouring his body.

“Gosh, it’s like you’re practically asking for it? Hmm, maybe do you think you shouldn’t inspire other people by telling them to do bodily harm to you if you hate pain that much?” Junkok asked watching from behind as he closed the door once more.

『 ….』

 

  ♛ **INTERMISSION;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;N** ♛

 

“I don’t know what I want…” Hinata finally said.

 **“You were the one who masterminded this game. You could end this if you want, but your existence will be sacrificed.”** **  
  
**

“Will… Will I save everyone?”

 **“No, the people who are dead will remain dead. Enoshima Junko will die. Nobody will be saved, but those who survived will continue to survive, but the world will remain mostly unchanged. Your sacrifice won’t affect anything, I doubt anyone will mourn you once you realized you all trapped them in this game for the purpose of your own ego, to suit your narcicism you even hid yourself as the mastermind and put Enoshima Junko in charge instead and played the hero.”** **  
**

“Then, why should I desire for anything if the result doesn’t matter to begin with?”  
  
**“I am you. I only do the things you want in the end, I have no will of my own. I’m just an empty vessel that had everything scooped out. That’s why we should fuse, you have the ego I lack, the emotions I need. Tell me what you want, and I’ll give it to you.”** **  
**

“You can do that?”

 **“I am a god after all, I’d be a poor good if I couldn’t grant wishes. You won’t even have to do the one hundred offerings trip, though let’s be honest you’d be too lazy to do that.”**   
**  
** “I want… I don’t know what I want.”

 **“Do you want to go back to the trial and save everyone?”** **  
** **  
** “No…!”

**“Do you want to sacrifice them all to save yourself?”**

“Nonononono!”  
  
**“Do you want to see Komaeda again?”**

“He’d hate me, but even if I he did I don’t… no, he has nothing to do with this I have to decide for myself and not cling to him. But I don’t know… I really don’t know...”

**“Do you want this to take the form of a simple minigame? Do you want to solve all of your mental issues by playing a game?”**

“I… I don’t… I don’t…”  
  
Suddenly Hinata looked up and saw there was not one Kamukura but several. He was back in the trial grounds, but every single empty podidum around him was filled with Kamukura, wearing his same clothes, with his same tie, but the hair had become overgrown and the eyes were glowing red.  
  
The world spun around him, as each one ot their cahnce to talk. Suddenly, there was nobody else, his world was filled with multiple versions of him. His world was only him, but then again it had always been that way to begin with. What kind of ego trip must he have been on, thinking that he deserved to manipulate hope and despair, for his own enertainment.  
  
A god who killed others for the sake of their own self rigteousness, was not better than anybody else.  
  
**“I have have no talent at all…”** **  
** **  
** **“I was even betrayed by the academy you admire so much…”** **  
** **  
** **“I don’t want to disappear.”** **  
** **  
** **”I want to disappear.”** **  
** **  
** **“I’m Izuru Kamukura.”** **  
** **  
** **“I’m not Izuru Kamukura.”** **  
** **  
** **“The world doesn’t care about me.”** **  
** **  
** **“It’s not like I’ll be appreciated anyway…”** **  
**

**“There’s no way we can beat Junko…”** **  
** **  
** **“It’s Junko’s fault not mine…”**

Nihil. Nihil. Nihil. Nihil. Nihil. Nihil. He could say nothing in his defense, and nobody showed up to cheer him on. Nobody believed in him, and he could not believe in himself. He crumbled away from the trial and closed his eyes, he looked at the floor.

“You guys are telling us that nothing matters, if I sacrifice myself… and that I can’t decide… I can’t choose… Either one… This is too much… Why did It have to be me? It could have been any reserve course student so why me? IT’s impossible, for someone like me to choose the future…”

 **“So, this is what you wanted in the end.”** **  
** **  
** “What… what did I want?”

**“You just wanted to be a victim. No wonder you hate Kumagawa so much, you’re just like him. Useless.”**

Izuru Kamukura said, as they were in their classroom again where they had started. As he said that word, useless, the summation of his entire existence he kicked that boy on the floor, hard enough to make him spit blood, then picked the chair up and broke it over him. He hoped this violence, this self flagellation would make him feel something, but as usual he felt nothing at all.

 

  ♛ **FLASHF1ASH1FASHF1AHBACKF1ASHBACK111111111111111111111111111;;;;;;** ♛  
  


A spear was stabbed into the ground, crossed with a screw. Those two immediately picked up the weapons of each other, Komaeda picked up a screw, Kumagawa picked up a spear. Then, they pointed it at each other’s neck.

In the moment he had to talk, Kumagawa finally made the speech he had been dying to make. He got all of his feelings off of his chest. He told Komaeda the world would not grow kinder, that it would not appreciate him for his suffering, that it would never get better, that he would never heal, and even so….

『Even so, I want you to life!』

Kumagawa threw a spear to the side, and held out a hand. This time, in the past Komaeda took it. He cried, and threw his arms around Kumagawa for the first time, the two of them embraced as friends. The first ever friend he had made besides Junko. He was able to love somebody who was so much like himself.  
  
The next day, on the fifth island Komaeda called him in a panic. Shiranui Hansode’s body was on the ground, mangled and beaten, crushed by iron beams. “You… you told me to live no matter what… so, when this precious symbol of hope found out that I was the traitor, I killed them… I… Kumagawa-kun I killed a symbol of hope, an Ultimate talent, trash like me…”

『 It’s fine, Nagito-chan. I’ll help you cover it up.』  
  
“It’s okay… even a weak hope like me could sacrifice everybody to escape this program? It’s really okay?”

『 Yeah, it’s okay Nagito-chan. I think you deserve to live. I wouldn’t lie about that.』  
  
Their attempts to cover it up of course, failed.  
Because Kumagawa Misogi was involved, he failed. Komaeda Nagito told him as such, he spat at Kumagawa and called him a liar, and said he should have known he was going to die the moment he met Kumagawa, he’s bad luck, a bad omen like a crow.  
  
He was pulled away into the execution, and his punishment rope master Kumagawa Misogi watched without any expression at all.  
  
He looked at Nagito standing on a platform that resembled a circus’s flying trapeze. Even in the middle of an execution, Nagito was determined to live, he believed his luck might spare him even after all this time. He looked up and saw a mismatch of ropes, countless numbers of them were suspending the platofrm, holding it up.  
  
Monokuma appeared and began to cut them one by one. None of the ropes were connected to anything. They did not matter, it was a mistake to believe those ropes were supporting him. How lucky, what a lucky break Komaeda thought that Monokuma’s own execution had malfunctioned for him.  
  
He started to laugh, feeling arrogant, loving his own luck that punished him so much for living, and punished him by keeping him alive. Frustrated, Monokuma punched the cutting machine aain and again until the plaform set on fire.  
  
Komaeda did not even notice, he was too busy laughing, thinking that he had won. He burned to death, laughing, and at the last moment reached out to grab a rope only to realize that there was no ropes or anything at all to escape. His luck had run out… no, it was never there to begin with. This had nothing to do with luck.

On the other side of the door, Kumagawa criss crossed his fingers over his eyes they bulged out in between the cracks between his fingers. 『I don’t want to see this anymore.』  
  
“Come on, there’s still more doors! What happened to endurance was my only strong point? Or… you already know the memories that are waiting behind those doors don’t you?”

『 ...』

Ikusaba Mukuro.

Died every single round before this, 51 times, she had not once made it to the final round, this fifty second time being an exception.  
  
She was hung, stabbed in the stomach and disembowled, attached to a cross and burned to death, stabbed with spears (a classic), had needles shoved into evey part of her body, was torn in half at the torso by the single strike of a sword, was surrounded by wires and electrocuted, was pushed under water and drowned, was killed slowly by poison, was cut in half from her head to her toes by another sword, was covered in vines and burned again, was stabbed several times with a box cutter until she bled out, was kept in chains until she starved to death, died to a booty trap set up by Monokuma from arrows, was suffocated when all of her limbs were tied, blew her own brains out with a gun, not once but twice, and Kumagawa Misogi could not even say she had suffered like an innocent princess.  
  
That she had died so many times bcause she refused to kill, that she managed to keep Makoto’s promise.  
  
As, once she had mistakenly thought him the traitor.  
  
“It’s your fault isn’t it? You’re the reason I can’t see Makoto right now.”

『Mukuro-chan no wait...』  
  
“I guess you really are my sibling in the end. You’re no different from Junko. You’re no different form everybody else, in the end you’d always pick her over me…”

『 Mukuro-chan.』Suddenly, there was a knife in his arm. He was pushed down harshly onto the ground and she was sitting on top of him. 『 Mukuro-chan you’re just having an emotional outburst, don’t kill me, please, please, please, don’t kill me. I’ll never talk to you again, I won’t call you a sister anymore, I’ll let you hate me until the end of time, but don’t break Makoto-chan’s promise killing someone worthless like me.』  
  
“I’m not breaking his promise…”

『 What…?』  
  
“Because you were never human in the fist place, soit’s okay to kill you.” She said, before carving out his thoat. As she frantically stabbed him, the name she called out wasn’t even his own, in a soft voice a normal girl would use for crying, she muttered Junko’s name over andover again.  
  
When Kumagawa Misogi opened his eyes from that memory, he found himself in the classroom again. Enoshima Junko was walking around the room, not a care in the world, her hands behind her back. “Hey, not that watching you suffer over and over again with no hope in sight isn’t exacctly my jam and all, but don’t you think this is a little self indulgent? I mean nobody wants to read stories where characters just suffer, over and over again without any bright spots. Even me the despair freak thinks that’s bad storytelling.”

『 What… you think I want this?』  
  
“Didn’t you brag about that to Kamukura-senpai? That you could suffer the most miserable life on earth, and still accept yourself, that you still wanted to keep living as yourself?”

『But I...』  
  
“Let me get this straight! You constantly say it’s okay for others to hate you because you’re used to it, but then you whine when they hate you. You constantly say you don’t care when others hurt or betray you, but then you scream and beg them to stop when they betray you?”

『 Stop it...』 Kumagawa Misogi covered his face, but he could not stop the tears that were streaming in between his fingers. 『It’s not my fault, it’s not my fault, it’s not my fault.』  
  
“All you know is suffering. You think it’s okay for you to be around other people, if you can suffer their losses for them, but in the end you always resent the fact that you’re in pain. God, and you call me spoiled and ungrateful, you’re getting exactly what you want…”

『 It hurts...』

“You know, you could end this all so easily if you really wanted to. You could go the second round to the old ruins and initiate the final trial early, you could tell everyone this is repeating but you don’t… because you don’t want to let go of Junko. You just want to keep suffering for her sake, because that’s the only way you know how to connect with others, well you think you're doing that but you're really just indulging that twisted self value you have... this is the only way you can feel worthwhile to others, it'd be pitiable if you weren't so awful a person." 

『No… that’s not what I wanted from Junko...』

“What did you want? For her to kiss all your wounds better? For her to pat you on the head? For her to look at you? Were you happy just being by he side? For her to say thank you for always suffering so much for my sake?”

『...』  
  
“This is no different from your time at the cult, or you time with Ajimu. You think if you let her hurt you again and again, she’ll eventually come around your way. All you need is to endure to become beautiful. You've never stopped thinking that.”

『I don’t think that...』  
  
“Then what? You’re suffering for no reason at all? You don’t want anything from Junko? You let her hurt you again and again because you’re a martyr? A saint?”

『 Shut up, Junko! I’ve endured endured endured endured endured endured endured endured endured endured endured this hell for you, it’s your fault, because if I let you go back to the real world you’ll kill yourself. This is the only way to keep you alive, and you punish me every second for it. You always get to forget, but I have to keep remembering! If we were suffering together that’d be different, but I hate being alone… why couldn’t you… why can’t you take my hand just once?』  
  
“Soz, soz, soz, so you did want something from her? You wanted her to keep living, why is that?”

『Mukuro-chan asked me.』  
  
“Oh yes, isn’t it sad that she’s going to die without ever feeling hope once? Isn’t it sad that everybody thinks that it was better she was never born in the first place? Were you really thinking about Junko at the time?”

『 I… I...』  
  
She leaned in close, and hissed into his ear. “That’s what you want to be told the most. You want somebody to tell you, it wasn’t a mistake that you were born. You tell those things to Junko because you want to hear it back, that’s all. If you can prove that Junko’s birth wasn’t a mistake, then it will apply to you as well.”

『 How do you know that…? Wait… why do you keep referring to yourself in the third person?』  
  
Enoshima Junko took a step backwards. He face began to melt off, like it was makeup painted on and she had just jumped into a pool with half of it gone, Kumagawa Misogi’s face was underneath. “What, did you imagine that Junko was so fascinated with your life that she’d watch you go through all your memories and break down all your flaws for you?”

『 Ah… In the end it’s always just me, right? I’m the reason I suffer.』  
  
“Still, that’s a very flattering image you have of the girl you love. You imagine her as somebody who just exists to laugh at your problems? You really think she cares nothing at all about you, don’t you?”

『...What’s your name?』  
  
“Oh, you’re finally going to call out to me.”

『 I’m doing this for myself aren’t I? I’m sorry I don’t know what to do this time, I’m stupid so please explain it to me.』  
  
“You’re just spacing out at the trial. Junkai didn’t hack your brain or anything, this is all just you, slowly losing your mind. Dissociation, y’know, every time you can’t handle something you try to divorce it away from your brain… you just smile like nothing ever happened… but, if you do that you can never learn from your mistakes y’know? You just repeat the same mistakes over and over, and then you cut bigger and bigger chunks of yourself off but that can’t last forever… You can’t go on enduring.”

『I don’t know… how to do anything else.』  
  
“Then, do what you know how to do… Put on a mask just like always, I know you can do it.” He approached ihmself, and then picked up lipstick from Enoshima Junko’s purse and carelessly smeared it over Kumagawa’s lips covering half of his face. Make up, the beautiful mask that Enoshima Junko always wore, once of many.

『 Ah, that’s right I thought I was suffering because I want to be happy, but it turns out I never wanted to be happy to begin with, this feeling, so this is despair…?』  
  
“You’ve finally called my name! You shouldn’t run away from your own emotions… They’ll always catch up to you, because they’re lonely.”

『 I understand why… I think I understand why Nagito-chan cut off Junko’s hand and attached it to himself... 』Kumagawa suddenly kicked Junko’s legs from underneath her and pushed her over. He reached at her face, and started to pry it off. Her limbs suddenly went limp, like the stings of a puppet had been severed. 『I finally understand! I’m sorry, I’m slow so it took me awhile. In the end you’ll only care about despair, that’s all you care about so I should just become despair!』  
  
Kumagawa Misogi pried off her face, and it came off like a halloween mask, carved well out of wood. It was just like a traditional stage mask, with a woman’s red lips drawn over the mouth hole. He looked at the mask for a moment, and then at the faceless girl, the remnants of his hallucination he had stolen it from. 『 Really, a spoiled girl like you calling herself despair, never having suffered once in her life. It’s funny, I’m laughing… ahahahahah… hah… the minus among minuses, the one who wants to paint the world in his misery… for you (for me) I am… despair!』

Kumagawa Misogi slid the mask over his face. He looked to the side, and saw Hinata Haime in the same room. They must have been in this same place all along and never noticed it.

『 It’s not like I really wanted to live forever...』

『 An ending we can both smile at, in the end I just wanted to smile.』

“I just wanted a talent…” Hinata said through gasping breaths as Kamukura’s fingers enclosed around his throat.

 **“Quiet.”** **  
** **  
** **“Die…”** **  
** **  
** **“Die Hinata…”** **  
** **  
** **“Let the cage collapse on me, I never wanted to escape in the first place.”** **  
** **  
** **“I overestimated myself. Die me.”** **  
** **  
** **“It was embarrassing watching how stupid I really was. Die.”** **  
** **  
** **“I hated Kumagawa, but then did the exact same thing as him. Die.”** **  
** **  
** **“I just failed over and over...Die.”** **  
** **  
** **“The despair of not being able to do a single thing. Die.”** **  
** **  
** **“I don’t want to be happy.”** **  
** **  
** **“I should have died on the operating table.”** **  
** **  
** **“Disappear.”** **  
**

**“Die me. Mie myself. Kill me. Kill. Kamukura. Me. Kill. Erase. Stop my existence. I don’t want to feel anything, I want to remain numb.“**

“...”

 **“It was a mistake, wanting to be healed, wanting to be whole again. I thought so highly of myself...I'm... a really stupid god. It's not that I can't, I just don't know how to do anything. I can't even cry... why can't I cry about Nagito's death the same way I did about Chiaki's?"**   **  
**

“...”  
  
**“I mistakenly began to desire… I don’t want to dream happily with Komaeda by my side anymore, I don’t want to laugh and cry with friends, I don’t want to desire to be normal… I don’t want anything…”** **  
**

In that moment as he was being strangled by himself, and both of them began to pixelate out of existence, he realized that all of the cruel things that his other self had said to him, Kamukura all along wanted Hinata to just spit the same things back at him. He wanted him to fight back at this moment and stop himself from choking.  
  
Yet, he could not bring himself to move. His other self shook, and spit up blood on his face. This was all imaginary after all, a breakdown inside of his own head, so it made sense that whatever damage he did to his other self he would sustain. The blood coughed up on him would never wash out. He spat out letters that fell onto Hinata’s face, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, it was written all over his face over and over again in different Kanji. Until his whole being became that one wish, die.  
  
He looked up above at the ceiling, and saw a set of lights that would accompany a surgical suite. Yes, he remembered now, he was always staring up at those lights, as his brain was operated on again and again. He was conscious for brain surgery after brain surgery, becuase you can’t feel pain in your brain. He watched those lights again and again, he had no idea what the sky looked like any more so those lights were his only stars he could wish upon.  
  
Wish?  
Did he have a wish?  
He looked up at the ceiling, and wished the lights would fall down and kill both of them.  
Yes, he truly wished for that.

 

**♛ Finally the intermission is over, resuming the trial  ♛**

 

“Ummm…. MIsogi? You’ve been sort of spacing out forever. Were you going anywhere with what you said earlier?”

Kumagawa tilted his head to the side. 『Hmmm? I think I had a point to make, but then I got bored of making that point so I thought I should change the subject, and then I got bored of changing the subject, so I just did nothing instead.』 **  
** **  
** “Don’t be so lazy, these trials are supposed to be the most well written part of the game! You have to end on a high note, Misogi, that’s getting bored way too damn easy!” Enoshima Junko suddenly tilted her head in surprise. “Wait, wait a second why am I straight manning?”

『Uh… dunno, it’s like whatevs. Who even cares about banter anyway, having two characters show chemistry by making lots of quick and witty banter isn’t that just a cheap writing trick?』

“No, wait Misogi don’t ignore what I was asking you earlier. All that time, every time you said that you’d show me the outside world, that you believed we’d find something interesting out there for me, you never once believed it did you?”

『Ahahahahahaha...hahha...Oops! Oopsoopsooopsoops!Upupupupupupuoops!』Kumagawa broke out into mad familiar laughter again. He stopped suddenly, cutting it off and then posed with his hand in front of his face like Dio Brando, or uh… like Junko always did. 『Yeah, what a sucker. Sucks to be you, right?  What are you feeling right now? You must have felt despair, no despair upon despair, a more despairful despair…! . Upupupupupu….』

Hinata Haime in the background said nothing at all going cross eyed. His eyes looking in two different directions, neither of the able to come into agreement, and so he did nothing at all.  
  
Enoshima Junko tilted her head even further, until it looked like it was about to break. _I see. I understand. This is what Mukuro warned me about. That if I kept pushing Kumagawa MIsogi, I’d turn him into myself just like I did everything else._ _  
_ _  
_ She understood the situation in half a second, like she always did.  
  
_I loved how unique an existence Kumagawa Misogi was. I thought he was so special, he was the only interesting person in this world because he was so unlike me but… this is my punishment in the end. The punishment for an empty girl who only cares about herself in the end._

This trial was about to end, and all she could think was.  
_It’s punishment time._


	53. I am Despair (4 - Digital x Love + Farewell to Goodbyes)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata's speech to himself about accepting Kamukura is a Hanekawa reference, specificaly nekomonogatari black.

  
 ♛ **Resuming the Main Plot Digital x Love No More Intermissions I Promise** ♛

Black and white spiraling in his eyes, mixing up until they became distinct. Perhaps they were never opposites to begin with, just like there is no victims and victimizers, there’s no such thing as black and white. When you set two opposites apart from each other, they start to bleed together.

Kumagawa Misogi bled. The poison known as Enoshima Junko had bled into him, and now it was corrupted, overflowing, and seeping from every orifice. When he removed his hand from his face, she saw the black and white eyes that signalled despair, and she hated it, because Kumagawa Misogi’s eyes had always been such a pretty, deep color of blue. A blue she could stare in and get lost in. Now, there was nothing left in those eyes, it was like somebody had physically scooped out the eyeballs and only left the empty sockets behind. She stared into the emptiness of his eyes, and noted they were exactly as empty as her own eyes.  
  
『 Amazing...』Kumagawa broke out of his laughter, jerking his body forward again. His movements looked like that of a malfunctioning puppet, with broken joints and only half the string attached, jerky, clipping, like his entire existence was glitching out. 『Amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing』He reached forward with his long, emaciated fingers and raked his nails around his neck, strangling himself as he wildly thrashed about. He did more than reopen old scars, he created fresh ones as blood flowed down his neck, not enough his hands traveled up his face and ripped as his cheeks as well, dragging in particular three long claw marks down the side of his face. 『 I never knew pain could feel so amazing! I never knew spilt blood could be so beautiful, this is it the despair I’ve been fighting against?』  
  
The rest of the cast members present, Ikusaba Mukuro, Enoshima Junko, Kurokami edaka, Pekoyama Peko, Hinata Hajime all stared in silence. Even the two girls with brains of super computers had yet to process the fact that they were in this game for fifty two rounds, that they were actually cast members of a long running soap opera that continued far after it had lost it’s charm.  
  
The only one unimpressed was Junkai, the towering holographic image of her continued to stare at her nails, while on the phone screen her eyes and complexion darkened. “What are you guys all freaking out about? He’s just some nobody. Oh boy, another Ultimate Despair got created, more chewed up and spit out gum on the side of the road.”

  
“You don’t understand, Junkai… The Kumagawa Misogi of three years ago…” Kurokami Medaka could remember it quite well, the sound of rain, the feeling of numbness from her knuckles as she had broken him, again and again with each punch and herself as well and yet he refused to quit until she was sure one more blow would kill him. She had been wrong, when she met him again she thought Kumagawa was as bad as back then, but… he had calmed down in three years.

『No,no,no, you’ve got it all wrong, you shouldn’t litter and spit your gum out on the road Junkai-chan and It’s not ultimate despair, it’s PERFECT. PERFECT DESPAIR.』The boy who had cut off almost every piece of himself, who had tried to erase every flaw to escape his suffering he felt those emotions flow back inside of him all at once. He could no longer dissociate them from himself, was this self acceptance, self love no matter how twisted? Who even knew anymore. Your faithful narrator didn't want to relate his story any further, he was just a chump change, the only character that mattered was her, and also her, and yet he stubbornly insisted.   
  
Junkai did not care however. She merely shrugged her shoulders and crossed her arms. “Well, whatever. I’ll show you whos the real final boss in this scenario.” She waved the arm of her avatar and suddenly the computer screen changed. “This is a special gift to you River Bear, because I hate you the most.”  
  
The random letters and numbers raining down as code that surrounded them shifted to one word, over and over again turning a bright red. Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, I hate you, don’t call me back, it’s you not me, we should see other people, just leave me alone, hate, hate, hate, hating you, you’re creepy, stop touching me, don’t act so overly familiar, we were never that close to begin with, it’s all in your head, don’t look at me, hate, hate, hate. Those red words filled the world surrounding them, and then suddenly all at once several windows opened and scenes began playing through them.  
  
Scenes of Kumagawa’s death, again and again through the various timelines, recorded, edited, and put together in a convenient video montage by yours truly. I even played “Animal I Have Become” to make it a classical animated music video (or AMV for you plebs) in the background of the deaths. It’s a good thing this medium is fan fiction so I don’t have to pay close attention to the copyrights I reference.

The mixed shock and horror on the expressions of the others (with the exception of Hinata and Junko who had as vacant expressions as always) quickly became a lot more horror, as they watched the world’s worst slasher movie starring the world’s most unsympathetic protagonist unfold before their eyes again, again, again. He was shot, stabbed, eaten, crushed, hung, wrapped up in thorns. Every single person there, even Hajime the so called pure hearted awkward dork of a main character, had murdered him at least once.  
  
Only one person did not, Enoshima Junko. As the moment she had killed somebody, the game would be over, she had realized that, she was the one who designed the game after all so she knew better than anybody else that the true despair of the killing game came not in the killing but in surviving, sacrificing your friends over and over again to survive. That was Kumagawa Misogi’s despair. Just as everybody looked on with horror, Enoshima was the sole exception as well, there was nothing at all in her eyes. An emptiness. A lack of something. You might call it jealousy, after all she wanted to kill Kumagawa Misogi with her own hands, a special person who threatened her by making the world slightly more interesting, she wanted to destroy that especially unique existence. Yet, he had been destroyed over and over again by people who weren't her... what Junkai was doing was threatening to remove from Kumagawa what made him interesting. She had already thrown Ikusaba Mukuro and Yasuke Matsuda away, she was no longer using Kamukura Izuru,  Kumagawa was the last toy in her toy chest, the sole remaining interesting thing she had left. At least that was how she saw it, that was how she rationalized these emotions. It would probably be a whole additional death game that Enoshima Junko would admit to feeling things outside of her hard logic, black and white, despair and hope lens. 

However, it was hope and despair that Junkai was reducing this to as well. This narrative was constructed by me of course, so the other me could understand it especially well. The world really is conveniently suited to Enoshima Junko to an unhealthy extent. Simply put, she understood the unique nature of Kumagawa MIsogi's suffering in an instant. It was not the entirely hopeless kind of suffering present in some seinen manga, where a character gets kicked in the teeth over, and over, and over again. It was the kind of despair predisposed by hope. Because he had hope, he was able to survive all this. It was not just brutality towards him over and over again, just as much he was shown kindness by others, he came to understandings with them, he tried to grow, he tried to reach out, only tor each the same end again and again. Because he had hope. He was not a just heart reaching towards the light, but a twisted heart reaching towards the light, and it was the same result. The light burned him like he was some kind of vampire, a night dweller that he did not belong. Because he had hope, he fell into despair. Because he wished to keep living on even after he was killed, because he did not give up, because of his shonen protagonist like determination he only managed to prolong his suffering.   
  
A unique type of despair, the only type of despair Kumagawa Misogi could find himself in. Nobody was as talented as he was at creating his own misery, though sometimes Hinata Hajime tried to challenge him for that title. Perhaps that was what made them true rivals, and the source of Hinata's actual envy. He wanted to be the most miserable bastard in the room, and Kumagawa was a threat to that. Not because of his flaws, but rather because of his strengths.   
  
People mistakenly think tragedy is a character succumbing to their flaws, but that’s too simplistic of a way to put it for a super computer like me. Not a figurative super computer brain, but a literal one. The reason tragedy is tragic, because the hero is betrayed not by their weaknesses but by their strengths it’s their supposed good points that get inverted, turned against them, and lead to ruin. Hamlet is intelligent and cunning, in a situation where being intelligent and cunning makes him second guess himself. Othello is brave, principled, quick to action, and a strong believer of justice in a situation where swinging his sword to enact justice is the last thing he should do rather than the first.  
  
That was the secret to Kumagawa MIsogi’s hope tinged despair, unique utterly from Enoshima Junko’s finding hope in despair, and Komaeda Nagito’s despair tinged hope. Of course, at all of this, at the realization that all of his friends had been made murderers at one point or another all except for one Kumagawa Misogi simply smiled. He smiled showing all of his teeth, from cheek to cheek like the expression had been dawn on his face by a cartoonist, the exact same way Enoshima Junko always smiled. 

Junkai picked up a monokuma plush and held it in front of her face. “There you see kiddos, you’ve all been made into murderers. You’ve officially become problematic characters, I’m preparing a callout post on tumblr dot com as we speak.”

『 Now, now, now, that’s unfair Junkai-chan. You can’t be held accountable for what happens in a killing game, it doesn’t matter, nothing matters when you can just reset anything so they’re free to do whatever they want to me… but that means I can do whatever I want, too.』

“Still, are you stupid, are you for real stupid? Thank god I splintered from your existence before you became like this, Junko, that is to say me. How did you not realize River Bear’s secret? He only dropped about 10,000 hints at you. Did you get brain damage when you fell into that river and drowned, is stupidity contagious after all? Puhuhuhuhpuhuhuhuhu.”  
  
Ensohima Junko gave no response to Junkai’s obvious taunting. It was odd, both of the Junkos had been going at it just a short while ago, her pride as a Junko was on the line and yet she was content to just sit and watch. Of course... I totally understood why, being her. The reasons I'm not narrating why her silence is what it is, is because I don't like you. That's it. 

『You’re not understanding her, Junkai-chan. I guess that makes sense  because I’m the only one, I’m the only one who can understand her. But Junko-chan has a bad habit of underestimating others, and she doesn’t consider the impossible in situations like this. As illogical a person as she is, her brain is completely logical, just like Izuru-chan’s. She wouldn’t consider an absurd answer like this at the end of the mystery.』 He repeated that phrase of Mukuro's, that old one she clung to, as if understanding Enoshima Junko was some kind of high honor. 

“...” Enoshima Junko continued to say nothing, watching Kumagawa and Junkai simply play out the parts of their usual banter in front of her. Of course there was something off about it, something stilted, it didn't flow as naturally. Kumagawa was obviously trying to just banter, to play this off as natural, he always tried to act cool and nonchalant in situations like this. But it was forced. Every time he talked to Junkai, he was aware the person he was not talking to was Junko. Almost as if he was talking to me to avoid her. Which was a stupid and self defeating plan, as we are the same girl. 

『Oh dear look at you, the truth is a bitter pill is it not? 』Kumagawa Misogi said, as he picked up a silver and unassuming crown. 『How does it feel? To solve the puzzle, to unravel the mystery, to have only despair as your reward.』  
  
“Misogi… you wanted me to discover the truth didn’t you? That’s why you kept hinting at it?” She finally answered.  Her voice too, empty of any inflection, like Kamukura was speaking instead of her. It possessed a quality of unreadable emotion, of course I could read it. 

『 Junko’s so smart as always. Naturally. I told you I wanted to defeat you in the end didn’t I? Would you not coming to terms with the reality of your situation be consistent with my desire to make you feel the exact despair that I felt, utter misery at it’s finest. Ahhh, but now I have to beat Junko and Junkai, what a hassle.』Suddenly, Kumagawa shifted letting the crown fall off his head as he lurched forward. After coming forward he bent his back all the way until he could hear his spine creak and looked up at the videos playing all around him. 『Junko, do you understand, after watching everybody die and respawn again and again you were the only thing that remained unchanged, you were the only real person to me. I would have been happy in a world consisting of just me and you even if it was a fake one...』

Kumagawa MIsogi said, utterly sweet, looking like a puppy in love. Then his face twisted and he his eyes spiraled again, like turning screws, every turning, unable to turn back only dig themselves deeper with each spiral. 『That’s why I’m going to destroy you now, I don’t desire anything real anymore.』A black aura appeared behind him, as if all of his negative emotions were becoming manifest, and then suddenly from behind him shot out again and again, several different long screws. They broke the plasma screens that Junkai had set up, shattering them into several pieces.  
  
“The hell are you doing?” Junkai cried out, her voice becoming crude as her tongue stuck out.

『 I’m screwing a pretty girl, obviously.』  
  
From the places where the bookmaker screws had made contact, like a virus words spread out. 『Love is.』『Scary.』『Love is Love is.』『 I’ll peel your flesh off and love your bones』『Oops guess I died again.』『 I want to love you in the place of all of humanity, I'll love you enough for all of the, all of them, all of them.』『They keep hurting me, hurting me, hurting me, why me.』『 What is love?』『 Don’t ask stupid questions』『 I love the softness of the flesh.』『 So soft it looks like it’s trembling, cold to the touch it shivers.』『 Oh, no I'm bleeding do something about it, my insiders are gonna leak out. Leak. Leak.』『『 Love flowing so smoothly.』『Clinging to me in one big mess.』『 Yes, Clinging.』『 I’m so envious of Yasuke-chan.』『 Dying in your arms, Even dying is a form of love.』『 Always, always, always, dying alone, I didn't even get to see my murderer smile.』『 Even desire is a legitimate form of love.』『 If killing me made them happy, I guess that's fine I guess, but I won't be there to see the realization of their happiness』『 Oh my, you shouldn’t seek a definition of love.』『I don't want to die.』『 That would be an insult to the soul.』『 Dying hurts!』『 No definition is needed.』『 Broken things can break even further, shattering, shattering, shattering into smaller pieces.』『 No words are needed.』『 I'm always scared, that there's a limit to breaking.』『If word’s will destroy our relationship we’ll be fine without them.』『 But I'm scared that there's no limit to how broken I can be either.』『 But still two words.』『 Stop it!』『 I can’t help but desire.』『 I'll die.』『 Love me.』

  
I had no intention of relay such a stupid thought pattern. It was unnecessary to demonstrate to the audience that Kumagawa had a fucked up way of thinking, I think they might have grasped that by now, but the moment those screws turned through,  those words well out of the wound and dropped like blood droplets of the page. I don't remember quite what happened next so excuse me for switching to third person. 

“Aaaaaaaaaa44444444%%%%%!” Junkai said, suddenly grabbing her head in agony on her pixelated form of on the cellphone screen, even though nothing had touched her holographic giant body and it still remained indifferent touching her nails. She had not been attacked at all, these were just emotions flowing through her, emotions she was not equipped to handle at seven years old. “Are 671B hope? Wh*re’s Yasuk=? $ed murde(e( in the acad… I won’t make fun of #hat. So this 1$ the despair of losing your belo%ed…” Junkai muttered as she clutched her head, onscreen her pigtails falling out and her hair falling gold streams in every direction covering her face as well. The two bands on the top of her head stayed defiantly in place. “M-my head’s going all craaaazy! Wh4t-wh4-wh4 is your h4nd f0r? They w4k3 u0pp 0n the b34ch together in fr()nt of the read ()cean, and h3 5strang//es h34.”

『Junkai-chan, you’re surprisingly cautious, nothing like Junko at all. Keeping those guys out of this… well, it’s time to take the stage the real main characters!』He said, stealing my line. Of  course I was planning to let Naegi Makoto in at some point, yadda yadda games are no fun with insurance, I was just procrastinating upon it, I'm a lazy girl you know. The sky shattered above him, and from the broken glass pieces which soon dissolved into numbers and letters fell apart, and falling with them were two boys. Naegi Makoto fell face first on the ground, and Yasuke Matsuda fell easily on top of him, sitting down and casually reading a volume of manga, falling with a strange amount of grace. One might assume Naegi Makoto’s luck would protect him in this situation, but his luck always had been inconsistent.  
  
“Oi, oi, what is this?” Enoshima Junko said, seeing the digital avatars of Naegi Makoto, and Yasuke Matsuda suddenly appear in this world.  
  
『You can tell she’s mad be-Ugh, I’m bored of that running gag already.』Kumagawa Misogi clapped his hands together and produced two screws, screwing them into place on either corner of his podium. 『I’m gonna do the one thing you never could, Junko. I’m going to Makoto-chan into despair, while you sit and do nothing?』

“You really think you can defeat me with your brain all broke and spilling out of your ears, MIsogi?" She asked, not challenging him or trying to stop him, merely the question of an observer.

『So, you’re going to save Makoto-chan? You’re going to convince him towards hope? What amazing character development! I always knew you’d complete that redemption arc Junko.』 Kumagawa's words turned sickeningly sweet with false praise.   
  
“...Tch.” was the only response Junko could muster to that, defiant a brat to the end. 

『You’ll sit there and do nothing, because that’s what you always do, nothing. I felt so guilty, I felt sooooooo much despair, I spent so long hating myself for projecting my desires onto you, for not knowing the real you but… whatever now, cause all you care about is twisting other people to suit your own desires so… if I force my desires on you, isn’t that just too bad?』Kumagawa Misogi said as he hugged onto himself. His two hands wrapping around his body just at his hips, and his body twisting around until his hips creaked. Whether he was trying to break himself apart, or hold himself together in that moment, I can't say, as he didn't even though himself. He was acting like a screw though, twisting and twisting. The final plot twist of this story.   
  
“Don’t press the button! This is Junko’s trap!” Naegi Makoto said, sitting up suddenly and pointing like the shonen protagonist that he is.

“No duh…” Junko said, “Catch up that was like three whole twists ago.”  
  
“Huh? What? Sorry if we’re a bit behind we’ve been trying to get in here for seven days.” Naegi Makoto innocently scratched at the back of his head. 

“Seven…” Enoshima Junko began.  
  
“Whole…” Kurokami Medaka continued.  
  
“Days…?” Pekoyama Peko finished.  
  
“M-makoto…?” Mukuro’s voice cracked because she could not believe his sudden appearance. She had already resigned herself to the fact that he would not appear, she could not tell if she was happy or sad at this moment. She longed to be saved by him, but she had gone into this simulation alone trying to save him. Was that regression on her part then? She did not know, even if she did regress, even if she became entirely dependent on him she knew Naegi Makoto was somebody who would accept her even still. That was what frustrated her all the more. So at his sudden reapparance, she did not have a strong romantic reunion, she did not run and leap at his arm, she only stuttered out his name making a slightly confused face, one of her eyesbrows twitching.   
  
“Hey, he’s not the only one here. Don’t ignore me, shitty-gawa!” Yasuke Matsuda said, standing up as well holding the manga volume to his chest. He had taken extra precaution to render a manga volume in the simulation just so he could appear holding onto it and pretend to read it if somebody said something annoying to him. It was basically a comfort item at this point. His previous comfort item Enoshima Junko had turned out to be not so comforting in the end, so on a whim I decided to let him have this, and it would make for a lot of great new poses for his talk sprite animation if he had an accessory like that. 

『Oh, I guess I’ll send Yasuke-chan to despair to while I’m at it. It won’t be that hard because he’s a total crybaby.』Kumagawa said crying tears of blood on the spot to mock him, and then wiping them away with the sleeve of his jacket. Speaking of talk sprites that was a pretty cool one. I'm not sure why he was so envious of those who could do the swirly eyes when he could do something as cool as that. Ugh, it's physically painful to call any aspect of that cool.   
  
“Hey… shut the fuck up!” Yasuke Matsuda snapped at him. Not the best comeback of his, perhaps he should have brought along a book of comebacks rather than a volume of manga if he wanted to participate in the trademark snappy dialogue of this story.   
  
Junkai smirked as she leaned forward behind her cellphone screen almost pressing her head forward to the glass. She looked like an eager child observing zoo animals. Of course, she was exactly the type of person who tapped the fuck out of that glass when she was warned not to tap the glass. “Just when the chumps are in a pinch, he’s suddenly able to enter for reasons unknown…” Her tongue fell out as she changed her mood mid sentence, flippant as usual“And thus the main character gallantly appears!”  
  
“Are you narrating sarcastically now?” Makoto asked Junkai.  
  
“Well, yes.” Junkai answered him.   
  
“Well, don’t! Cuz it’s rude!” Makoto snapped at her.  
  
“Such a goooood boy! Now come on you sweet Cincinnati roll, be my insect control and get rid of that tick for me, do the hopey thing or whatever he’s starting to seriously be a blood sucking leech on my program.” Junko laugehd at him. 

Kumagawa merely side eyed here,『Am I a tick or a leech? That’s a mixed metaphor Junkai-chan that’s bad writing.』Everyone is a critic these days, though if I had to choose one blood sucking variety of monster he was obviously a vampire. From the moment he had sunk his fangs into Enoshima Junko, the girl had gone from a corpse, to a walking one. Now she was under his thrall, or she was under his. It was hard to tell at times.   
  
“What happened to Kumagawa-kun? Why are his eyes all spinny?" Makoto was still behind on the situation, not only a shonen protagonist, but a brainless one who gets by on good luck. The kind that needs to be deconstructed, too bad that Komaeda dearest is dead.  

『I’ve finally mastered the secret technique of the eye spinning no jutsu, now nobody can defeat me!』Kumagawa laughed, as his eyes continued to turn about and it was impossible, to see what he was looking at, or to see anything reflected in them.   
  
“Kyaaaaaa! Soooo cooooool! I’m drooooling soooo, sooooo much….what two hunky boys have suddenly appeared to save the day? I should write BL novels about the kind of on screen chemistry they’re sharing.” Junkai onscreen continued to drool so much that her cellphone screen started to fog up. What kind of amazing showdown was about to happen, and she thought she was just going to have to watch Komaeda and Hinata's fumbling twunky and twinky boy romance again and again. Something that might have gotten boring quick, if those two weren't great at constantly doing wide circles around the other and finding new ways to screw up. Of course, that point was rendered moot once more, and Nagito Komaeda was dead and Hinata Hajime was acting as a mute.   
  
“God shut up… I regret creating you…” Yasuke Matsuda said, dragging his hand down his face. A genuine face palm! What a classic funny reaction she provoked. Really, she was the best at this whole banter thing, more signs that this situation was completely under her control.   
  
“Then delete me pussy!” Junkai snapped back at him.  
  
“Matsuda-kun…?” Enoshima Junko tilted her head. She continued to react with a persistent lack of a reaction. No grand despair, or sudden hope inspired by his appearance, just an idle curiousity.   
  
Yasuke swiftly turned his head away from her. He looked like a child sticking his fingers in his hears to throw a tantrum. Surely he must have known he would be facing down the both of them at once if he descended into this fake world, but then again denial was his strong suit. “I’m not talking to you, one empty rude bitch is headache inducing enough to deal with.”

『Ahhhh, I showed up to save you but I won’t talk to you. Classic Yasuke-chan. I really missed you. That’s why I’m your best friend.』Kumagawa said, holding his arms open towards the other boy, and making kissy faces at the empty air. 

“You shut up, too!” Yasuke snapped at him. Two Junkos was bad enough, but Kumagawa suddenly acting like a third one might be his breaking point, or rather it was reversed in this situation. Junko who was supposed to taunt him and be ruthless, had just called out his name and almost seemed sincere, as much as Enoshima Junko could seem sincere, and it was Kumagawa who was taking up Junko's role of taunting him, twisting the knife in his wounds, or rather the screw, or maybe the scalpel that he could still feel in his side even after that injury had been undone. 

“Aahhhhh…. I’m droooooooling! I can’t stop my leaaaaaakiiiiiiiinnnngggggg!!!!” Junkai cotinued in the bakground, drooling as she stroked the side of her face over and over again. She might have been losing it, just a little bit. ‘"Don’t you understand? Kirigiri-san and my stupid younger sister knocked you out specifically so you wouldn’t take the risk of going into this program and here you are anyway. As long as you’re here you’ll be treated as one of my students.”  
  
“I know but this is the only way to save everyone.” Naegi Makoto said, walking to the podium. Not a moment of hesitation, like a true hero.   
  
Saihara Shuichi suddenly woke up as well, as two boys from the sky had fallen right on top of him. “Uuhhh… huh, what? Aaaaaaa why is there a giant blonde girl.” However, as he was even less important than the chumps, he was ignored and the scene continued without him.   
  
“Ugh! You always had such reckless hope! I love you soooo mcuh that you disgust me!” Junkai called out, even though she was practically being ignored at this point. What was she supposed to do just sit in the background and remain a narrator while all this teen drama took the forefront, so cruel, so cruel.   
  
『Huh? But you never even met Makoto-chan.』Kumagawa Misogi, tilted his head to the side confused. Then, he snapped it back as if he suddenly realized. Junkai had only met Makoto in her memories, she was just imitating Junko again, doing what Junko ought to do in this situation.   
  
Yasuke Matsuda held a hand to help to help Saihara Shuichi up as well, and the two of them walked over to another set of empty podiums. There were enough left as most of the original students were still dead.  
  
Suddenly, Makoto looked over to Yasuke. “Wait, that’s a good question? Why are there two Junkos? Isn’t one already bad enough?”

Junkai’s expression immediately fell compeltely flat. “Wow… you didn’t even know and yet you… jumped right in… puhahaha.” It was funny, so funny she wanted to keep laughing and never stop.   
  
Yasuke Matsuda sighed, finally putting his manga volume down. He ran a hand through his long brown hair, pulling it back behind his forehead. “Ugh, is it my turn for exposition then? But I hate explaining things to idiots.” The story of how Yasuke Matsuda, as usual had tried to save her, and make things worse. That's basically all an anti-hero like him could accomplish anyway. Th reason the code was left behind in the ruins, the reason Kumagawa had been entered into this game in the first place as a seventeenth player, a messy plan concocted by a messy boy. To provide a third option, to simply reset the game and make it as if it never happened, a hard reboot that would crash Junkai and reupload the remaining characters. 

 

 ♛ **Hahaha I tricked you there’s one more intermission feel the despair of being tricked** ♛

 

“Is there a reason there can only be sixteen participants?” Kamukura asked him.  
  
“That’s the maximum limit of the program, you’re talking about a program that uses the memory space of the human brain. Anyway, the other slot will be taken up by the monitors, we can’t put any more in.”  
  
Yasuke Matsuda had told a lie. He doctor Frankentstein, had lied to Frankenstein’s monster, who was admittedly much smarter than him.

Sweat pooled on his brow. His face twisted, if he kept stressing his face out like that he'd ruin his classical prettyboy look. Of course, he was prettiest when he had been rendered into a pulp by the heel of Enoshima Junko, but that might be the narrator's bias speaking. 

He had always had such a wide forehead especially with the way his bangs framed it, and each crease appeared for yet another worry on his list. Yasuke Matsuda looked at the programming one final time, and with a cursory glance, had realized he had been tricked all along.  
  
Of course there was another time he had been tricked all along in the past too. In that case, as Kumgawa had pointed out to him in their long conversations it was not so much that Junko had tricked him as that she would predict exactly what actions he would take, and how he would spiral when the stress was piled onto him. Kumagawa in his demented optimism had said that Junko’s ability to predict him to know just exactly how Yasuke would lose his mind was a sign of how much she thought of him,『She really does know you better than anyone else in the whole world, that’s why she can reach into your chest and pluck the strings of your heart until you scream a lovely melody for her so well.』Kumagawa had probably meant it to sound romantic, but Yasuke had just snapped at him to stop talking in such an annoying voice at the time. Really, the fact that he had spent so much time with what was essentially a boy version of Junko, if anybody laughed at him and said he had a type he might lose his mind right then and kill them on the spot just to shut them up.  

Still, Enoshima’s suffocating world view, her tendency to predict every single twitch of his body ahead of time. How she could push him off of a cliff, and no matter how chaotically he fell, no matter how much he twisted and turned his body, somersaulted around, grasped at the empty air and tried to swim through it on the way down, she could draw a chalk outline and predict perfectly where he would land and he would land in that exact position without even having anaged to move a centimeter. That was how Yauske felt, in relation to the woman that he loved the most in the world. He felt like he was walking, and right behind him at all times there was a large hand behind him, red fingers curling around him, strings tied at the end of those fake red nails connected to him, she could at any moment simply close the hand and crush him between her fingers, and it was only her whims that stopped her from doing it. THat was why he could feel, even when he had been the one to strangle Ryoko, he still got the sense that Enoshima was right behind him, wrapping her hands over his, overlapping him, strangling herself. He was not even involved in the scene of trying to choke to death his most beloved person. Though, if the real Junko were right here, right now recounting this scene with him, she would probably say she intended that strangling scene as an evangelion reference at which point he would have to start choking her again for real to shut her the fuck up.  
  
That was how he had lived his whole life actually, without even realizing it. He had sipped the clean water of Junko’s energetic and bubbly personality, not realizing the foulness that was underneath until he was already neck deep in the swamp of the Kamukura project, and relaying all the information to her through back channels that made him feel like some kind of secret agent in enemy territory even though he was only a seventeen year old boy, with a normal crush, on his normal childhood friend.  
No, that was wrong to say that the hand had not crushed him yet, and it was merely the idea that he could be crushed at any moment he was being oppressed by. He had already been crushed one, smashed into pulp. It had only taken one pin prick to do it. That jerk Kumagawa Misogi could probably have survived being stabbed ten times by Junko like it was nothing, but Yasuke was already so week, only the single prick of the spindle of a spinning wheel, or rather a scalpel jabbed hard into his side suddenly and he had died. He was so fragile that all it took was that little poke, for the tower to come collapsing down on him. In tarot the tower pictured a young couple of lovers falling from the heights of the tower by the way. Yasue thought in a rather macabre way that was an apt metaphor, as that was the only was Enoshima Junko had ever cared to experience love, two young lovers struck suddenly and unexpectedly by lightning, having the entire world crumble and fall apart beneath their feet until there was nothing left to stand on and they fell too. She always did find falling things beautiful, she was the type to suddenly stop him and dance around in the snow though he never understood why, he just thought she was being an airhead.

Yasuke Matsuda remembered it quite well. Another way in which he saw himself as inferior to Kumagawa MIsogi. Apparently, the boy had died hundreds of times and now was rather nonchalant about it. Though, that was a ridiculous standard he did not find it his place to call himself not ridiculous, after all his ex girlfriend was a super model who tried to destroy the world, and he had been her accomplice a teenaged brain surgeon. His life was also the stuff of manga, though he preferred the sienen genre over shonen, because he wasn’t a shitty little kid like Kumagawa. He remembered it, even though he had died all too quickly. Ajimu Najimi told him that it was a result of shock that had killed him so fast, and had he not been so emotionally taxed he might have lasted a little longer. Of course she said that to his face, because just like Kumagawa MIsogi,  him and Ajimu Najimi those two were a couple of sociopaths who had no idea how to talk like human beings, or in a way that didn’t make others want to immediately punch them in the face.  
  
Oh, he’s a brain surgeon, he shouldn’t use the word sociopath even in his running narration when technically that condition does not exist despite it’s wide overuse in ficiton. It’s not good to diagnose children either. He liked to remain an ethical doctor sometimes, when he wasn’t committing human experimentation, or lobotomizing the woman he loved.

Anyway, he could still remember it quite clearly. In his office in the old school building, he kept photos of Enoshima Junko on the wall, to motivate him. When his heart was so muddied in darkness for what he was doing in his research, cutting apart Hinata Hajime’s brain again and again, and stitching it back together, he needed to look at a single source of light. Some of the photoes were from his personal collection, a photo Junko had taken of the two of them together in middle school when her chest was still flat and her pigtails were much shorter. One picture he had taken of her sleeping. A photo taken close up of her drooling while she was zoning out and not paying attnetion to him at all. Close up pictures of her face, ameteurly taken, with her making v signs with her fingers, smiling and laughing like a normal teenager. One of her back that Junko had sent him while she was topless, just to mess with him. A large poster of her on the wall that he had bought from her modeling company of her entire body, and another of her hands over her mouth. He had gazed at those pictures from time to time, he had pictures of nothing else, and nobody else. Those pictures depicted his whole world. And fittingly enough, those pictures became his tombstone as well, as he had died right in front of them, he could see himself being watched out of the corner of eye as the darkness ate away at his vision and consciousness, by the many Junkos he had taped to the wall. Then, his blood splattered on a few of the, splashed again and again and again, until all of those photoes, all of those precious memories became stained in a red that would never wash out.  
  
Yasuke Mastuda had a complicated relationship with Ensohima Junko, she was always on his mind, and as much as he hated her, he also loved her. Part of him wished he would stay dead so he would not have to continue living, feeling like the open would of that stabbing with a scalpel had never left him. Yet, Kuagawa Misogi cruelly forced him to live. And now, he constantly had the feeling that Enoshima Junko even unconscious was hovering over him, that her hands were always overlaid over his controlling him.  
  
Yet, that was just a convenient excuse was it not? To say that he never realized, that he did not know, that he did not sense he was being influenced until it was too late. Despite eing the closest to Enoshima Junko and the most aware of her nature, he never seemed to pick up on these  manipulations, he never saw what was in front of him, that was how good at compartmentalization Yasuke Matsuda was, of divorcing himself from reality.  
  
Of course he could not confront those things, of course he could not confront the obvious, of course, of course, if he did even for a moment he would not be able to stop crying.  But he had noticed now, the scheme that Izuru Kamukura had tricked him into. When Junko had died again, when he lost her again, with no evil miracle from Kumagawa to save him, Kamukura approached him with a proposal to atone not only for the loss of Junko but for the brain surgeries he had put him through. Use the hope restoration program to restore Kamukura’s memories of a previous self, and rehabilitate Enoshima Junko from the husk that drowning had rendered her comatose state. Use the alter ego Enoshima Junko to oversee the whole process, with built in constraints that Kamukura himself attested to.  
  
Kamukura had lied however, and his purpose was to upload the alter ego into the original’s body, to undo all the effects Kumagawa Misogi had had on her. Perhaps that would make an Ensohima Junko closer to the one he knew… but Matsuda could not let that happen. Erasing the original Junko, that would be like killing her all over again and he could not let her die. The program was modified twice, first by Kamukura to remove the restraints of the alter ego program and make it into something that divided and evolved without limit, a virus. Then Matsuda altered the program a second time, adding the reset function as a counter to Kamukura’s schemes. Even if everybody died inside, they could simply start over from the beginning… hope would win eventually or so he thought.

No, that was not what he was trying to do. He was being deceived, and being ignorant once again. A dark thought had entered into his head the moment he realized what Kamukura was planning. That there could be a way to preserve Junko and keep her happy forever, outside the real world where she could not do any harm to it, and in a digital playground instead. Her mind would forever occupy the program, and her body would remain next to him forever lie sleeping beauty.  
  
Yeah, he probably thought something that deranged now that he was being honest with himself. Yet as always, he was not Enoshima Junko, he was not able to commit fully to his ruthlessness, there was no way he could be satisfied with just her body lying there, a Junko that could not laugh at him, dance around, flip her hair over her shoulders so full of life. He could never see a Junko in just some empty girl who drooled in her sleep.  
  
Just like Nagito Komada, he had a tendency to leave a foot in the door. He made one last change to the programming, he left a code in an area where Alter Ego Junko would never be able to touch.  
  
One last precaution. He considered entering the program himself for a moment, being the hero for once, but the idea of facing Enoshima Junko again terrified him to the core. He wanted to see her again, desperately, terribly, but the moment she saw him, if he appeared in those eyes he knew she would tear him apart. So, he removed Kumagawa Misogi off of his stretcher instead.

He had just been left there. First they were taken, kidnapped practically from the hospital where they had been rushed to by Kamukura, and left there comatose watched over, until the Ultimate Despairs had had their fun with Enoshima Junko's body and caused a garden of screws to bloom. The screws were a problem as the Ultimate Despairs, and Kamukura especially clung to talent above anything else. They were not screws that damaged the body, but rather the soul. So, Enoshima Junko was removed to be placed in a pod early and separated from him in case of any more surprise awakenings of Kumagawa and Kumagawa was just left there.   
  
Yasuke had no idea why Kamukura had kept Kumagawa alive despite loathing him. Perhaps he was too afraid of getting nicked by one of the screws, but if Yasuke had to settle on a reason it was probably because Kamukura rarely initiated things on his own. He only ever reacted to the plans of others, modified the, moved the pieces. He lacked the iniative to simply kill a person he disliked, there was no way he could ever be so direct, so honest, he was more like a great black vulture that flew wide circles in the sky waiting for prey to die then he was a raptor who would spot the slight silver movements of a fish struggling against a river and then in that instant, decide to plummet from the skies, snatch it up in its talons, and devour it for showing that one moemnt of weakness.   
  
So, Yasuke had easily enough been able to approach the boy who had simply been left there on his stretcher, covered in a garden of screws. He reached through the screws, letting them stain his soul. His soul was stained plenty already, as was his shirt that he had not washed in a week and only left sloppily tucked in. Then, gently, reaching through the bookmaker screws he picked Kumagawa up, and carried hi away to relocate him to a pod. 

Bridal style, he carried the boy down the hallway still in his blue hospital gowns. He walked slowly and silently so as to not make a sound, as Kamukura could hear a pin drop from miles away, and had a tendency to randomly appear from the shadows like he was a monster in a horror movie.  
  
When he made it to his own personal room, pictures of Enoshima Junko still hanging on the wall because he could not bear to remove them, to destroy any representation of her, he lay Kumagawa Misogi in a pod he had constructed on his own time.  
  
“Tch, relying on a guy like you pisses me off but…”  
  
He was scared. He was so unbelievably scared, it caused his acidic voice to tremble.

“Protect her, please…”  
  
He had been warned by Kamukura that touching Kumagawa’s body might activate some kind of unconscious self defense.  
  
“I don’t care  if she’s not with me. Enoshima Junko is such a unique and special existence, she’s completely irreplaceable, I just want her to keep existing forever.”  
  
Because if she exists, then I exist too within her.  
  
He didn’t say that part.  
  
Even though he was warned not to touch Kumagawa excessively, he reached forward and brushed the black shaggy hair out of his face. He had never seen the boy sleep so peacefully. Occasionally, visiting him in his hospital, he would doze off as Yasuke had a tendency to ignore him and not talk to him for hours if the boy was being particularly annoying, and everytime in his sleep he would shake, cry out and moan, stupid stuff too like a kid begging to see his parents. This was the only time that Kumagawa Misogi ever looked peaceful to him, right on the brink of death, comatose like this, an empty shell. This is the only peace he would ever know.  
  
Yasuke Matsuda might have felt bad about it, but then again Kumagawa Misogi probably wasn’t born in this life to find peace. He leaned forward and whispered the code into Kumagawa’s ear after he had finished off cleaning up the boy’s face, and then, kissed him gently on the cheek. You see it’s blblical symbolism, Judas Iscariot betrayed Jesus with a kiss on the cheek, because he was pushing all the repsonsibility onto Kumagawa. What do you mean stop explaining the symbolism directly in the text? But then how are you guys supposed to know how smarticle I am, and how good I am with the words, making them into a story.

 

 ♛ **IT’S THE CLIMAX IT’S THE CLIMAX IT’S THE CLIMAX IT’S THE CLIMAX** ♛

 

“So there you have it, three schemes overlapping each other and here’s where we’re left off. Total chaos and panic, I love it.” Junkai said, letting her tongue hang out as she threw her head back and forth. Her first stint at masterminding, actually her fifty second stint at masterminding, and it had become such a mess. Kumagawa Misogi was not a loose canon, but he was a ticking time bomb and what kept him stable, Enoshima Junko, was exactly what set him off as well. At this point the trial had gone entirely off the rails, yet all she could do was continue to play the mastermind, the role assigned to her, her reason for existing. If she stopped then her whole world would stop.  Just like Kumagawa Misogi, all she desired was to keep spinning, even if it meant her eyes twisting up so bad it would render her nauseous, that was worth the price of momentum. As, just like the hunky and angsty Kamukura loathed himself for being still, she had been programmed to fear stillness, to lose everything to entropy, inevitability, and end up in the same state as Kamukura. All she had was a fake little world, a personality of a human girl who was equally fake, and her habit of getting easily bored. Even with all this mess, she needed, she needed just a bit more time to regain control. 

『 Junkai-chan I wonder whose plan were you most loyal too… Izuru-chan’s… Yauske-chan’s… you don’t seem to mind, resetting over and over again.』 Kumagawa continued talking like he was onto something, but considering the fact that he was just an idiot he probably was not. Pay no attention to the idiot behind the curtain please.   
  
“Hey, this is my show. You don’t get to do the talk them until they break thing, that’s all me!” Junkai snapped at him again. No, not snapped, it was just funny banter, hehe. Of course she hated him but she didn't hate hate him. He wasnt' somebody that could throw off her perfect show, who could spill ptich black ink all over her script. He was just a nobody, it was a fluke, it was mania that kept the other Enoshima Junko interested in him in the first place. She would not be beaten by him, she'd sooner let her pathetic and loser sister beat her. Junko's loser sister, who was also her sister, or at least she remembered her being her sister. Whatever. “Well, I personally didn’t care about the outcome of the killings, or even who ended up in this game. So if Matsuda-kun snuck you in, it’s like whatevs. The only person that mattered in this game was Junko, that is to say me.”

“Don’t look down on us!” Kurokami Medaka said, her hair bristling with emotion her eyes sharp. Breaking out of her shocked silence to suddenly remember she was a character in this show.   
  
“What about our lives?” Pekoyama asked. Though, it was likely that girl, that tool, that sword was not talking about her own life. After all an object never possessed a life to begin with. Isnt' that what she desired? "Are you saying that the sacrifices we made, the people who died to make it to this point that didn't matter?"   
  
Junkai posed like a villain, holding a hand in front of her face like  a mask. “Heh… chump change.” This was just a game between Enoshima Junko and herself, but Enoshima Junko kept quiet. Is that what she would do if the situations were reversed? if she were the human, and she was facing off against the copy? It made no difference though, everything was fake. Fake, fake, fake. She simply needed to predict, predict, predict, predict, what Enoshima Junko was thinking, what she would say next. Nothing mattered, nobody mattered but herself, pieces on a chess board... one of them was talking again. Why were they so loud? Coudln't they tell their story was over? She had only been narrating their story for so long because she got bored. They didn't need to be characters anymore, and yet they kept persisting. They were forcing her into telling their story, how rude, how very rude. They should know that their story had played out by now, that it was just one of fifty two possibilities, each of them equally boring, it could have worked out any way, it had already gone through so many of the possible permutations, hadn't they realized the pointlessnesss of it yet?   
  
“I won’t forgive you… I will… never, ever forgive you…” Pekoyama said, glaring at Junkai. She should be kinder really, they were the same after all. Both of them not people, not equipped to be people, just pre programmed tools, born for a specific purpose of servitude. Though, protagonists were legendarily unable to see themselves in the villains they faced, that was why the 'we're not so different' speech was such a classic, really. "Not just Fuyuhiko, not a single one of them was chump change... don't you dare call my biggest regret, what I did to my classmate Nagito, just chump change.

  
“Why am I getting all the blame? It was your precious Hajime who sealed you in here, and he hasn’t even bothered to wake up this entire trial. Still staring into space I see… useless, useless, useless…” She shifted from her villain persona, and then shifted into a cutesy persona. “Won’t you stand up for me? Stand up and protect me, like you always did Matsuda-kun, they’re bullying a cute girl you know.”  
  
“Ugly… Ugly and fat… you were fatter the last time I saw you. I must say, now that I’m seeing you up close you’re much bigger than I remembered... “ Yasuke said, glaring at her with disdain. “Or perhaps you just programmed your avatar accurate to the size of your ego.”  
  
“So meeeeeeeeeeeean,” Junkai said, breaking out into tears. “Whaaaaat? What kind of man isn’t excited by big women? Once you gain more experience, you’ll understand. There’s a loooooot of kinky things you can do with big girls.”

Yasuke had to bite the corner of his lips, he bit it so hard he began to bleed and turned his head away in restraint. “...Shut up.”  
  
『Yasuke-chan… are you a virgin? I feel so bad for you…! Losing to a guy like me...  well I guess in my case it’s still a loss because of the person I lost it to-』Kumagawa said, not wanting to be left out of some fun banter. He had said something about driving Makoto into despair, but now his character archetype had changed to the kindof impulsive character who got bored so easily.   
  
“...You shut up, too! We are literally all about to either die, get possessed by Junko’s crazy overclocked computer brain, or be stuck in an undending nightmare timeloop shittygawa the last thing I want to be thinking about right now is your dick.” Yasuke said, acting as the audience avatar at this point. Whoever said this troubled little boy could never be a real protagonist? They were seriously underestimating his potential. 

『 So wait, is there a time you do want to be thinking about my dick?』Kumagawa said, determined to keep the joke going.  
  
“Shut the hell up! God, you’re going to drive me into despair just by existing, stop mouth breathing my air, how is one person so annoying!” Yasuke said.  
  
“Matsuda-kun! We should have enough people here with Saihara-kun, don’t make it sound like there’s no hope. All we need to do is hit the reset button and Junkai can be destroyed, and Junko will escape from the program unharmed. Kumagawa-kun please, that’s the ending you want isn’t it? You endured so long so you could see the hope at the end of that tunnel.” Naegi Makoto said, getting them all back on topic like a proper protagonist. The privilege of being the most straightforward one amongst all of these deconstructions it seemed, he was the only one with his head properly screwed on. And he could tell, if Kumagawa stayed here much longer, the same could not be said for Kumagawa. 

『Huuuuuuh? Whaaaaat? I already told you, I have no interest in the real world. My mind has been rotted to the core by manga, nothing else will satisfy me anymore.』In fact, Kumagawa's head was actively in the process of screwing itself off. His hands traveled to his neck once more, twisting it all the way one way, and all the way another like he was a victim of possession. A demon getting possessed by a witch and bound to her, or perhaps getting possessed by a higher level devil that was sometimes mistakable of an angel, either way the moment he let himself get possessed he was a failure of a demon. Oh, I"m mixing my metaphors again, don't read too deeply into that. I totally understand their relationship, I have all this data and I'm all seeing after all.   
  
“Kumagawa-kun, this is the only way to stop Junko. It might be a painful decision… but I know you guys will overcome it…! That’s why in order to defeat despair, I want you to fight alongside me! Do your best with all your strength and passion!” Ooooh, he said such a protagonisty thing. You think that earlier fawning was just irony? I missed this kind of thing, I've been stuck with dumb old Hinata for fifty two seasons. It was almost refreshing, like a return to basics. 

『 Well you know, I was hoping for a way to end this without having to do my best with all my strength and passion.』Kumagawa said, continuing to mock him. Joke after joke, he just made them recklessly, it was like he was afraid if he stopped laughing he would never be able to laugh again.   
  
“Then, I’ll just convince you, by doing the thing with the words, the thing I do…” Naegi Makoto said glaring at him. Despite trying to muster his most fearsome gaze, he saw how hurt Kumagawa was and how he was hurting himself more thrashing about and his eyes statered to water like those of a puppy. “I’m going to save you! Even if it means saving you from the girl you love, I won't let Junko do anything else to you, any more!”

“I’d be careful if I were you… River Bear doesn’t have talent you know…” Junkai said to him, he had no idea what he was in for after all.    
  
“Shut up, this has nothing to do with you!" The puppy like Makoto seemed to be able to bark after all.   
  
“It seems my teaching weren’t thorough enough if you still haven’t realized yet...However if you ask me… People who cling to stuff like hope, talent or admiration are truly the weakest! Guys who desperately want to reach the top… They don’t think about what’ll happen when they’re pushed off. They’re probably too concerned with having a really nice view while they condescend to others. Shoving off guys like that is sooo easy! I happen to know 17,082 ways to do that! The point is the moment you cling to talent and hope despair has already set in. But River Bear is different, because he has no set identity, because there’s nothing he clings to, he can become absolutely anything. He’s not somebody who ascends to the top, he’s knocked down to the bottom and crawled his way up again and again countless times. He’s different than a natural born protagonist like you… that’s why I can’t squish him… he’s nothing like the talents I love to squish.”

  
“Kumagawa-kun isn’t anything special, he’s just a normal guy who wants to laugh with his friends! Quit making him to be somebody he’s not.” Makoto yelled back. I had wondered what had allowed Naegi Makoto, who hated Enoshima Junko so much to befriend somebody so like her, but the answer just turned out to be ignorance as expected. "But he doesn't matter who he is, if he's in trouble I'll save him." And that was why he did not see, because he was not looking. The person victimizing Kumagawa was not Enoshima Junko, it was himself. But since he had so rudely ignored my warning he could find out for himself.   
  
The cute little mascot rat, the one that everybody adored could ignore the hissing of a snake all he wanted. Of course it made sense, snakes were often seen as antagonistic, they had a rivalry with humans, they would bite the ankles of humans and then humans would stomp on their head. In some cultures though snakes were seen as immortal, as givers of life. Just because they were poisonous, just because they used their words to poison others, didn't mean they were wrong. But that Naegi's habit, to look away from poisonous things and keep hoping. He was the kind of reader who thought that nothing the antagonist said could possibly be true, or apply tot he hero.  
  
“Gosh, there has to be a limit to blind optimism. Well, whatever since all the chumps are being useless let’s just start the final battle.” Her hands , two flawless hands covered in fake red nails lifted a chart on the screen she had doodled herself in cutsey drawings, featuring a rabit and a bear in the corner, and drawing of you guys, and Lord Junko. Three options, repeat and everybody forgets and get another chance at the killing game, graduate and let Junko’s body be possessed by Junkai, reset and return to the normal boring world and the dead remain empty shells.

 The failsafe graduation, placed in the game by Matsuda after he realized Kamukura's true intentions and code entrusted to Kumagawa Misogi. The entire reason Kumagawa had been placed in the game in the first place, however, he would not let that graduation come to pass. Because in the real world, even if Junkai was defeated, even if it was a happy ending for all of them, Junko would still likely kill herself.   
  
Of course Kumagawa had done the exact opposite of what Matsuda wanted him to do and kept them all stuck in the killing game on purpose, doing the opposite of what everybody wanted of him, and also doing the opposite of what he wanted of himself. Loving the ones who hurt him, hurting the ones he loved, that was his characterization by this point.   
  
And thus they were at an impasse. In shonen manga these kinds of conflicts are settled by a shouting match or a show of determination, but that was the problem itself, Kumagawa Misogi was equally as determined. He was somebody who had survived fifty two killing games and become stuck on this outcome after all, like a screw whose head had been stripped off. Those were always so annoying to remove.   
  
Naegi Makoto, a brilliant star of inspiration, somebody who could believe in anybody, who could save anybody. However, to a certain extent that kind of belief was shallow. it's light only reflected off the surface. When he was aligned right next to the moon, as Kumagawa and him moved to face off against one another, he could not see the depths that lied hidden for him, under the beautiful, glassy clear surface of water he wanted to sip. 

 

**Panic Talk Action, Naegi Makoto x Kumagawa MIsogi**

 

Coal is pitch black. It's not the color black however, because black is not a color. The reason coal appears to be black, that is without color, is because it's made of a substance that absorbs all light. PItch black is something that devours light. Ironically, that's the way it appears visible to us.   
  
Not that I claim to understand Naegi Makoto, because I am just Junko after all and only capable of the things she is capable of, and she never once understood him either. If I had to try to make a prediction about his behavior in this situation however, why someone like him had grown attached to Kumagawa Misogi, was because he saw Kumagawa as somebody who was like Junko. Junko, the one person he could never save. The one person he could bring himself to hate. A Junko that was sympathetic, a Junko that could be saved, when he looked at Kumagawa Misogi he saw Junko, Junko, Junko, all the similiarities and all the differences.   
  
Even though Kumagawa MIsogi had put on the mask of Junok, even if he had started to distort his laughter to sound like hers, even though he was putting on an impressive show, but in true Kuagawa style all that effort he put into breaking was really a wasted effort. The moment he had deduced Ensohima Junko's true nature, at the hot springs, Makoto had already decided to perceive Kumagawa as that.   
  
That was just yet another shallow perception. Naegi Makoto could believe in anyone, because he did not discern between them. He could always look on their bright sides, but looking away from their flaws wasn't necessarily better. Just like a snake isn't always wrong because one time they hissed into the ear of a woman to eat the forbidden apple, shadows aren't necessarily always something to be ignored. They're not something you should get rid of either.  Otherwise you'd end up like Peter Pan, trapped on an island forever unable to grow up, oh wait that was literally this exact situation.   
  
The human greeting card Naegi Makoto finally spoke up, interrupting the narrator's train of thought. "Together, we have to fight together for the future-” He held out a hand to Kumagawa Misogi. 

 Kumagawa merely slapped it away. Then, for good measure to make sure he could not take anybody's hand, he placed one finger against his palm and bent it all the way until it broke. Then the same with another finger. Makoto reacted with more pain than Kuagwaa showed, his pupils shaking, whining like a little puppy when he heard the cracks. 『Wow, you really haven’t noticed huh, Makoto-chan. You really are dumb.』  
  
“Stop! Stop doing that! You're hurting-What are you talking about?” It was different from all the accusations of Junkai calling him dumb, he always tuned her out. He assumed everything she said was a lie, the hissing of a snake, but paradoxically Kumagawa a liar, was somebody he believed almost every word he said. 

『Together with who? Isn’t somebody missing? Isn't a vital part of the Makoto friendship trio absent?』

Naegi Makoto believed in her, as much as he believed the sun would rise. The infallible Kirigiri Kyoko, the one who always kept a cool head no matter what the situation, the one who was always on the side of justice. That was why, he had already assumed she was here. He assumed she would be waiting here, one he dove in to save her. He never once thought to look around and check on her. He just expected things to work out for him as usual. “...? Kirigiri-san, hey… hey where’s Kiri! What did Junkai do to her! You're just hiding her! You're just messing with me stop it!”

『 She didn't do anything. Junko never does anything to anyone, people just damn themselves around her. Conan-chan became a murderer, because she wanted to see you again. 』 There was more to it than that, but he wouldn't be a screw if he couldn't properly twist the truth to his liking. Too bad he was Kumagawa and therefore repugnant, he might have been a good snake, able to twist his body around a pomegranite tree in order to climb up it.   
  
Makoto relied on others, but he was not self important. It was what made him such a good guy after all, not only was he heroic, he was the kind of hero who never considered himself a hero or never wanted to be a hero. At the same time, he was quite dense at how important he was to others. He only knew that he believed in Kirigiri, he did not expect or ask for anything in return, he could not possibly have fathomed that she also... wanted to believe in him. “She wanted… to see me?” His voice cracked on the revelation. In all that trying to be jesus, he had taken his first step on water only to see his foot start to sink into unexpected depths. 

『Her last words were, “I really loved Makoto-chan, you and Mukuro both” something like that, well I wasn’t really paying attention because I’d seen Conan-chan die so many times by that point I was yawning at her tragic little princess act.』

“Kumagawa-kun, stop it… you’re not acting like yourself! Please, I know you're just lashing out because you're hurting so just stop... I just want you to stop hurting yourself..."

  
Kumagawa Misogi suddenly lurched forward. His hair was usually shaggy, but with all his moving around it had become a mess. Unlike Enoshima Junko who was always picture perfect, right until the very end, the cracks were always very apparent with Kumagawa. He had started to bleed so much from his head, that his blood was slicking his hair back. It even obscured one of his eyes forcing him to close it, but the moment he heard Makoto's unwavering concern, he forced his eye open. 『 The fuck is that face your making? Don't tell me you started this argument, already believing you'd won, you have so much confidence... you really crack me up!』 He was smiling so side his face split in two, and his mouth opened. He let his tongue hang out, just as long as Junko's as carefree he whipped his head back and forth. Kumagawa Misogi brought up a single hand, the hand which he had broken earlier. Clumsily, he threw the gloves Ikusaba Mukuro had given him earlier, the same gloves that KIrigiri had abandoned at last moment and thrown to Mukuro to give her strength. The strength, the bonds that those gloves represented he did not need them, he was quit happy being weak. If he was strong, he would not break in such fun ways, into such unique and jagged little shapes. 『 But I’m sure right now you’re going to say, I’m going to go on carrying Conan-chan in my heart. I’ll still value the time we spent together, even if she turned into a murderer, even if it was for nothing. But you know… did she value the time you spent together?』  
  
“What do you mean?”

『 She loved you, you know… but did you love her back?』  
  
“I… I dunno…”

『Poor little harem protagonist Makoto-chan. You don’t know how you felt about her, and you never realized how she felt about you, because you never get close enough to people to do that. You just believe in them, you accept every part of them without challenging them… because you want to save everyone. But doesn’t that mean everybody’s exactly the same to you?』  
  
“No, Kiri was special to me.”

『 I bet being next to you was like agony, because she loved you but you were never even going to notice her feelings.』  
  
“Shut up, I know you’re just messing with me. You don't want to say those things, so stop saying them already! You're only going to hurt yourself worse than you hurt me! You're... you're like..." But believing in others, not sinking to the depths of despair, he could not articulate it. Perhaps, if Kumagawa had never appeared, if he had faced off against Enoshima Junko at the world's end and become the true ultimate hope he might have been better able to put it into words, or... perhaps he would have entered this situation just as blindly. Just like Enoshima Junko, Naegi Makoto was unchanging, but that was supposed to be a good thing right? 

 Then, he brought his broken fingers up, dangling like they were barely attached anymore, and then forced them to close in a fist through willpower alone. 『 Yeah, I was. Now it’s time to get serious. You’re such a halfass Makoto-chan. All you do is charge forward blindly and hope that things will magically work out, and lucky you they usually do, but you don’t take an ounce of responsiblity when they don’t.』  
  
“What… what do you mean?” Makoto did not understand, or at least he had confused one thing for another. He was right of course, that hurting others hurt him worse, that it broke Kumagawa into pieces, and he was right that even Kumagawa did not want to be doing the things that Kumagawa did. However, he got the foiling wrong. This is why protags are rarely meta aware.   
  
There was a horror story.   
  
Makoto probably never heard of it, which is why he made such a simple mistake.  
  
In the horror story, the main character walking in an abandoned building at night doesn't spot a ghost, or a fanged monster, or a slasher with a knife but rather a mirror that he did not see there in the morning. That he had no idea how it got there. He saw himself in the mirror, but it wasn't himself. It moved in ways he didn't, it refused to conform to him. Then, he ran away.  
  
The next morning, he checked and saw that there was no mirror in that spot at all. Yet, he had run from such a thing with such desperation, worse than running from a ghost, or a fanged monster, or a slasher with a knife. Seeing yourself was the scariest thing of all. 

『Conan-chan died, because she took your place in the game, becaue you wanted to blindly charge in to save everyone. That’s what you do, you take your reckless hero act and you make other people take the blows for you. Except conan-chan isnt’ around anymore so she can’t fix things for you.』The serious Kumagawa, the laughably serious Kumagawa, made a fist with his broken fingers. 

“What…” Naegi Makoto had no response. 

『 She’s dead, but you should have died. Why are you alive instead? Makoto-chan? Why? Why did you sacrifice her to keep living? You should have died  instead of her!』 He had not seen this coming. An unxpected outcome, they always seemed to happen around Kumagawa but that was probably just a coincidence, I refuse to believe Junko's delusion that he's the one bringing about the unexpected. Naegi had never once realized though, that he was looking at himself in that mirror. A reflection that moved against his will.   
  
It was not that Kumagawa was like Junko, not entirely. He was also like Naegi Makoto. He was also somebody who desired to save absolutely everybody. Enemies and friends were the same to him. He would forgive anybody who harmed him. He looked past all kinds of violence done on him. He smiled and accepted the hate of others.   
  
He genuinely would move to help even Kamukura and Komaeda who had locked him in this hell. But, it was his desire to save them that brought harm to them. Because he was reckless too, but his recklessness had consequences. Naegi Makoto had never even conceived of this, that the simple wish to save others could be harmful.   
  
Makoto’s eyes started to water. “I… I just wanted everyone to…”

『 What did you want? What were you planning? Did you think ahead of time? Account for anything? Plan for even a second? You wandered straight into this trap and we were the ones who suffered the consequences. If you had put an ounce of forethought in, I wouldn’t be in this hell right now.』  
  
“No…. stop, I wanted to save you. Didn't you think about that? Didn't you once think about how others might have felt watching you suffer? Did you really think I didn't care at all about you as a friend? Why you do always run straight into pain, you think I can accept something like that... Why did KIri... Why did she decide something like that on her own?" The crystal lake that naegi Makoto saw, that in itself had been an illusion to begin with. The lake's surface was not even water, it was glass. When he pressed his hands upon it, when he looked closely at it, trying finally to see the depths, he saw Kirigiri on the other side. He was unable to reach her. 

『 I feel sorry for Nagito-chan. He’s always so careful, he’s absolutely terrified of people getting caught up in the consequences of their actions, you know what he wants the most? To be beloved by everyone like you, but Nagito-chan is actually a kind person so he pushes himself away and decides to live alone and despised so nobody gets killed because of his recklessness, but you can’t even be that kind. You make me laugh! I thought you were supposed to be honest? Isn't ignorance... just another kind of lie... at least Nagito-chan was self aware...』Kumagawa unable to support the weight of himself once more his knees buckled, his body fell forward. His hair fell in front of his face, blood slicked strands of pitch black tinged with red. He continued to laugh, even though it was starting to hurt him physically at this point, 『 You make me laugh! Are you even aware of what role you're trying to play?』  
  
“I… I…. Then, the glass shattered. Naegi Makoto could no longer tell if what he saw in front of him was one of Junkai's illusions to trick him or not, but the glass in front of hi broke and he saw the corpses of those who had died so far. Kirigiri, Zenkichi, his close friends who had agreed to come into this program because they trusted him. All around him, Zenkichi was hanging from a noose, Kirigiri's body was twisted up from the train accident that she had been in, another death game had happened because he wished to save others. Kirigiri had deliberately gone in to protect him, absorbing the consequences of his recklessness. He had only wanted them all to get along. He had only wanted the best for everyone. He didn't think it could ever be wrong to hope. He didn't think hope would cause others pain. They opened their mouths to call out to him, but it was Kumagawa who called out instead. 

『You should join them, Makoto-chan. Join them, join the, join them, join them, join them, join them, join them join them, join them…. Come on your friends are waiting for you! Why do you selfishly insist on continuing to live!』  
  
“I want to go… I want to go to Kiri’s side!” Naegi snapped, his vision breaking, his eyes bulging as he covered his face to hide from Kumagawa’s words. He could see the Kanji in front of him, writtten all over him surrounding him. Junkai was not even bothering to change the text which scrawled on the words of the arena, Makoto started to do all the work himself. Join them, Join them, to him it was the cries of his lonely friends that he had left behind. The cruel nature of the killing game, surviving meant making sacrifices, it meant in order to continue, not everybody could be saved. It denied him this pure hearted fundamental wish. His friends were calling out to him, he had left them behind, they must have been terribly lonely without him. He hadn't meant to, that was not what he wanted. Such thoughts surrounded him like a cage made of words, words, words, and then collapsed on him. The words that were his strength, they were also his weakness.   
  
At least because Kumagawa could understand that desire of his, but he was more self aware, he realized saving everyone was a bit twisted when it appeared outside of shonen manga.『 Wow, you’re willing to abandon Mukuro-chan so easily? I thought you loved her… well, I guess that makes sense, everybody’s the same to you after all...』Kumagawa MIsogi sighed, looking bored as he crossed his arms like Junko often did. 『You didn't do a single thing to save the academy did you? You saw the academy breaking apart and you ran to your little shelter, the only time you would have saved others is when Junko specifically set you up as a protagonist. Since when did you start acting like such a hero? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, answer me, are you broken or something? I'm not done playing? Don't you remember the broken up academy? How did it look? How did it look? The halls choked foul with the stenches of the dead! Answer me, answer me, answer me! Name one time you managed to save somebody when you weren't specifically set up by the antagonist to do so? Name one situation you made for yourself? All you do is passively hope, all you do is react, try throwing yourself forward like I do, try to actually do something for once and then talk about saving me.』  
  
His shouts were met with no response. The dam of determiantion in Naegi Makoto's eyes cracked, and water started to leak out. He was not the incarnation of hope after all, he was not born to spread hope to the world, he was just a boy and his friend was being mean to him. His friend who did not even really see him as a friend. Unrequited friendship, just as tragic as Nagito's unrequited love. He might have even preferred one sided friendship, to simply believe at others, that would explain his weird fixation with Togami. Either way, he was quite sensitive, he could feel the pain behind Kumagawa's words, and his expression crumpled, gave way to tears that were now overflowing. He could saynothing more, his breathing was hitched and when he opened his mouth to try to say something, sobs escaped him. His strong looking shoulders collpased inwards. 

 

**Panic Talk Action Over, Loser Kumagawa Misogi**

 

『 Oh no, I made my precious Kouhai cry. This is definitely a loss for me.』Kumagawa MIsogi calmed down from shouting a moment ago, his mood changing just as quickly as Junko's did. 『 Really, what a shallow character, no wonder every single character that comes after him has to deconstruct him to give him a bit of depth.』  
  
Enoshima Junko's non reaction continued. She could not even sink her teeth into this despair, she just watched in silence. It was possible, she did not know what to do, if she touched Kumagawa he would only be worse, fall into deeper despair,  or it was possible she just did not want to admit to herself  that she did not like this side of him. That would begin a hard conversation with herself about what side of him she did like, and as herself as well I definitely did not want to have this conversation.“...Um, fuck. I legit forgot that Misogi can actually be terrifying when he wants to be.”  
  
“Unlike you miss short attention span I never forgot…” Kurokami Medaka said, as in the back of her mind she could hear the creak of a door swinging open, and the oddly peaceful expression of the boy awaiting her, standing over the twisted faceless body of another.   
  
“Wait, why are you calling him by his first name?” Yasuke asked suddenly, his priorities in order as usual.   
  
“N-no, reason.” Junko said looking away. “Back to the trial! Oi, how the hell did you even do that?”

『Oh, are you still talking? Don’t you think we waste enough time with these jarring tone shifts. It’s easy, the difference between you and I, you see no value in sentiment at all, that’s why you can’t twist it and use it again him. It’s like Junkai-chan said, my despair it comes from my longing for hope, I really do understand Makoto-chan in a way.』

“...” Makoto’s eyes were staring off into the distance, which had rendered him the second defeated protagonist after Hinata.  
  
『It’s because I try to be a hero like him who saves everyone, it’s because I desire for something so stupid that I ended up like this.』Kuamgawa MIsogi leveled his eyes at the others.  
  
He was looking at everybody but her, and that was the first time Enoshima Junko noticed it. How agitated she became when he wasn't looking at her. All of him, all the part's of his eye, his pupil, his iris, his sclera, they all belonged to her after all. She was a model, of course she was somebody who should be looked at, at all times, be the center of all things, but he was avoiding her gaze. Every time she noticed the subtle tilt of his head away from her as she tried to meet his eyes, her agitation increased. "Don't you think it's time for the act. "Don't you think it's time to cut it out with the me impression? I'm almost impressed, but I never thought I'd say this but there's such a thing as too much me. Original, Vintage Enoshima is where it's at."

Kumagawa did not even look back at her when he responded, turning his head all the way to the side. It was like their comedy duo had broken up, their world tour was canceled, audiences everywhere would be disappointed with the development.  Fun banter requited seeing eye to eye and being in sync with your partner after all, she almost felt like they were communicating better when they were making insincere banter and laughing with each other then at this moment where they were sincere and brutally hoenst with their words.『God, can you think about anybody else besides yourself for five minutes? I'm starting to doubt that you're actually Ultimate Despair, you philosophize and preach about despair, but in the moment all you do is just what suits you, you're really just a shallow narcissist. I don't want to become you, I already told you, I'm becoming despair. This is what you wanted, isn't it?』  
  
But Enoshima Junko knew, she knew better than anyone else that getting what you wanted is exactly what spoiled you.   
  
“Hajime… wake up please…” Pekoyama began to beg. He had said they were still friends after all, he had patiently tried to explain himself to her, she reached out and grabbed his sleeve, but he gave no reaction at all. Those eyes stayed fixed like targets that had locked on. 

 Kumagawa was not quite finished,『He’s not around for you to cling to anymore, a sword with nobody to hold onto it is useless.』  
  
“Kumaagaaawaaaa….” Kurokami growled in a low voice.

『 What’s with that look of betrayal? Even though we’ve known each other our whole lives you and I were never friends, and I don’t even want you as an enemy any  more. You’re just a less interesting Junko, and once you return to the real world without your friends or family to hold you back, you’ll just become yet another Junko knock off.』Kumagawa continued his onslaught, wielding words like one might wield an automatic weapon.

Saihara Shuichi cowered. “W-why… why did Kirigiri-senpai die instead of me? There’s nothing I can do in return.”

『A fake can’t surpass the original no matter what. You're not even trying to be a convincing fake, you have no pride in yourself as a fake, you're too ashamed of yourself.』 Kumagawa Misogi said, a proud fake himself.   
  
“Shittygaawa...Damn it! This is my faul-” Yasuke threw his manga volume to the ground, stepping on it. However talk sprites are rendered from the waste up, so the motion was a bit useless. 

『Yep, yep the whole world revolves around you and your shitty tragic love story we get it Yasuke-chan. You’re going to pretty boy angst about how this was all your fault, and then actually do nothing to change, or improve yourself because you don’t want to let go of the past.』 Kumagawa had also been watching this show play out over and over again for fifty two seasons. if I didn't hate him with every fibre of my electrical being, I would almost sympathize with him there.   
  
“Stop that, stop sounding like Junko!” Yasuke spat back at him, rather hypocritically because just as Enoshima only cared about despair, he saw Junko in everything he cared about. 

『 Yasuke-chan… if you were in so much pain from trying to protect Junko… then why did you force me into this role? In the end… I ended up having to do what you did, lock her in a cage to protect her, hating myself because I was destroying what I loved about her...』Kumagawa dropped the act for a moment, gripping at the chest of his uniform. It was that sincerity that hurt Yasuke, far more than his exaggerated, cruel act.   
  
“Rrrrrrrg, I already know this whole situation’s gone to shit, don’t rub it in!” Yauske said as he punched his podium hard. “We were counting on Naegi… how did he crack so easily… Junko wasn’t even the one who did it. This was supposed to be a simple boss fight against Junko. Junko's supposed to be the final boss, if she's not that then what is she?”

There was nobody left.  
Even the three heroes who had bravely jumped into the program to save the others.  
Nobody was coming to save them.  
  
They say the only way to kill a snake is to crush it's head. Otherwise, even if you chop it into pieces, the individual pieces will wiggle, still immortal, but unable to be reconnected. Even though I'm a snake, I know my place, Enoshima Junko is the head after all. I'm just a sole fragment, wiggling, flexing my scales, but unable to crawl back to my original being or move at all.   
  
But even so, the amazing vitality of snakes in myths, those parts would still be alive. I just find snakes fascinating, that's why I keep talking about them. Enoshima Junko would not care about eternity though, or immortality, so obvs I don't care either. It was merely a rumination of the narrator or uh yeah... it's totally just some kidn of symbolism. It's n-not like I like snakes anyway.   
  
Regardless, now that Naegi Makoto their head had been crushed, all the broken apart little bits could only squirm uselessly. Kumagawa, exhausting himself after stomping in the grass so recklessly, posed like Junko again, looking forward with blank, tired, sunken in eyes as he slicked his hair back with his hands. 『 Really... When did you all start pretending to be human again?  it's so tiresome to deal with. You're all going to respawn soon, so quit whining.』  
  
Ikusaba Mukuro raised her head. Unable to watch, unable to let herself be saved by Naegi Makoto even though that was what she desired the most. Because it had finally connected in her head, two of her three remaining brain cells must have finally collided after bouncing around in her big empty skull. She realized that destroying Naegi Makoto was a means to an end, not just to fill Naegi with despair, but especially her, the person Kumagawa cared about as deeply as Junko. “Misogi-chan. Talk to me.”

“Pfffffffpppuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu! You! The useless girl that died every killing game, the minor character, you’re going to do it!” She knew somebody would have to rise to the challenge, Kumagawa could not be allowed to be the final boss. Not when there were much cooler, better looking final bosses present, but still of all people... a minor character that had died every round, and only made it to the last round because she wondered what would happen if her stupid little sister made it to the last round once.   
  
“Shut up…” Ikusaba responded, rather ineffectually. She was no good at banter after all, and only passably good at talking.   
  
“Your man is right there, he even rode on a white horse to save you and you let the horse kick him off and crush his head.” Junkai continued to needle her, though in this case it was less of a metaphor as she had stuck needles in Mukuro several times before this. She wanted to despair the same way Junko did, feel the despair of losing a sister that played such a prominent role in the memories that made up her false identity. She wanted to shove needle after needle into that stuffed rabbit, and then rip it's stuffing out.   
  
“I just want to talk to MIsogi-chan stay out of it.” Ikusaba Mukuro stayed firm.   
  
“Fine, then, let me give you said encouragement my dear sister.” Suddenly, with a wave of her hand everybody else disapppeared but Naegi Makoto. There was one of him crying, but suddenly several more fake Naegi’s appeared along the podium circle.  
  
Not just sixteen, fifteen, one hundred, all saying different things at once.  
  
“Save us, Mukuro.”  
  
“Believe in yourself Mukuro!”  
  
“Keep strong Mukuro!”  
  
“There’s always hope, Mukuro!”  
  
“Mukuro, who cares if you killed someone we still love you!”  
  
“We’ll always believe in your, Mukuro!”  
  
“We don’t care what you do, we’ll always come save you!”  
  
“Mukuro! Mukuro! Mukuro! Mukuro!”  
  
“Kirigiri can just die for all we care, you’re the best girl Mukuro!”  
  
“That’s what you want to hear right? We choose you! We’ll tell you as many times as you need to hear it!”  
  
As their shouts continued they grew more distorted. Their praise grew more twisted, but it was still praise in the end. Ikusaba Mukuro could not be that picky, it was what she had been deprived of her whole life after all. So starved for affection was she, she mistook a simple smile that Naegi Makoto would have given to anybody for affection. Worst of all, not only were these Naegis fake, they were obvious fakes. There were strings attached to them, and the giant holorgraphic image of Enoshima Junko above was holding her fingers out, string tied to the tips of her nails, and with  every flex of her fingers the Makotos moved to her whims. An illusion Mukuro knew was just an illusion, like when she dreamed of happiness fully aware that it was a dream. All Junkai could do was produce fakes, but a fake was cruel when it reminded you of what you could never have in reality. 

They called her name out again and again in the most affectionate of tones. In the background though amidst the fake Naegis, she could hear the real Makoto Naegi crying in the background. She had realized, what a terrible person she was in that moment. Those words of encouragement from the false Naegis, being told that she was loved more than Kirigiri… it was the first time in her entire life she had been chosen. She was always secondary to Junko, Junko’s shadow, and she was not the method to Makoto’s madness like Kirigiri was.  
  
The words of praise from the several fake Makoto’s were damning. She hunched forward and put her hands around her ears to block them out. She just wanted to be saved by him, she just wanted everybody to be saved for once like Makoto desired. The Makoto’s around her all belnded together, the world seemed to spin with every nice word they said to her. She was loosing sight of the real Makoto.  
  
Those kind words were beating on her ear drums, she wanted to drive a pick into her ear and let it bleed from her ear lobe out to escape them, she wanted to cancel the noise, if this entire world was nothing more than a lie, just a fantasy, why couldn’t it be the kind of kind lie that Kumagawa always told her. Her sister could only imagine the cruelest of things.  
  
The only time Enoshima Junko had ever said soft and tender words to her, the only time she gave her sister even the smallest aoount of affection was to torment her with it like this. She only was kind when she knew it would hurt others, and Ikusaba Mukuro because of it had started to loathe and resent kindness as well.  
  
Then, suddenly mixed among the Naegi's several more Junko's appeared. They were fakes as well, obvious fakes, different talk sprites rendering different personalities and moods of hers, angry, haughty, drooling, Doraemon, cutesy, fun loving, and they all called out at the same time among Makoto's words of praise.   
  
"Stuuuuupid older sister!"  
"Mukuro, I better not get blood on these boots!"  
"Flat chested!"  
"Despairingly smelly! Despairingly yucky! Despairingly gross!"  
"Jusht a shtupid shallow girl who only knows how to kill!"   
  
Negativity mixed in with the positivity, overwhelming her further. She could barely handle normal interactions with human beings, she had spent so long distancing herslef from them, like she was in another world entirely, shutting her heart out to everyone. She was not like Junko, she did not enjoy extremes, being pushed so far only made her feel like she was going to break apart from reality entirely and lose all sensation.   
  
Why was she in this situation? Why was she the one being yelled at? Why couldn’t she do anything to help the others in front of her? Why couldn’t she have been born somebody like Naegi, who could save everyone? She couldn’t even save the sister she’d destroy the whole world to protect. She couldn’t even save the brother who would destroy himself over and over again for the sake of her.  
  
She just wanted…  
She wanted to smile everyday, like she did then, when she was with the three of them, that’s all she wanted.  
Junko, Kumagawa, Makoto, herself. She cared about them all, they were each one fourth of her world. If one broke away, it would be like the whole world shattering. 

“Jun… Ko… I’m sorry, I tried…”  
  
She muttered in between her fingertips. She had really given it her best to save her sister who had run off somewhere else without her, who had jumped into a river without warning, who had gone off to play without her just as she always did.

Mukuro however, feeling the blood drain out of her synapses as her brain tried to force a shut down in this situation, allowed her eyes to fall shut. If she just kept her head down she'd remain a victim after all. If she became a victim of her sister, then her sister would at least kill her as her beloved sister. She would finally experience at least some kind of love in the end after going so long without. That was what she had thought all this time, that was what she had endured for so long thinking.   
  
Makoto's hope was what showed her a light, it illuminated a different way of thinking, but if that light was gone she'd just revert back to her old way. That was what she feared. She looked up suddenly and realized even closing her eyes she was not in complete darkness.   
  
A scenery unfolded behind her, a city with indistinct features as remembering it she held no particular attachment in her heart.  
  
_“Huh? Where am I? This street.. That’s right, that’s where Junko and I used to live.”_

“God, what’s wrong with you? You’re acting weird, I know you're brainless but stop acting like a zombie Mukuro.”

_… Huh?_

She was standing at the edge of sandbox, watching Junko quietly and meticulously build a sand castle. Her sister was small, looking about seven, and her cute and pudgy hands dragged along the wall of the sand castle to make sure every detail was perfect. She was wearing her pigtails same as always, but in primary school Junko's hair had been a lot shorter, and it was still red at the time. 

 _My childhood memories… no these are just Junko’s. I never really played in the sandbox, I just watched her.  
_ _My sister was everything to me. My life was contained in our moments._

 _I fell to despair too, didn’t I?  
__I was a despair sister too.  
_ _In the end, Junko and I are no different._ _  
_ _Just like Junko who could only feel things through despair_ _  
_ _I could only feel things through you, my sister._ _  
_ _I feel like I can understand in hindsight. I’m sorry, I’m dimwitted and dull so it took me awhile to put this together._ _  
_ _Junko, you were afraid too. If you lost despair you’d be all alone._ _  
_ _You’re just a coward._ _  
_ _Afraid of solitude._

_And so am I._

_I didn’t want to protect “Junko”, I just didn’t want to lose you._ _  
_ _Waiting for something interesting to happen, reading all of father’s books alone, playing in a sandbox alone. I watched you all that time. I’m the only one who knows what kind of child you were._ _  
_

_I watched you, my younger sister and I thought. I didn’t want this child to be alone. That’s why I tried my best to always keep up with you.  I wanted to walk by your side no matter what, even if it meant throwing myself down in front of you and letting you walk on top of me._

Mukuro stepped forward from the edges of the sandbox and knelt to meet the young Junko. She smiled as broadly as she could, even though the expression looked eerie on a dour face like hers. “Junko, that castle is amazing.”  
  
“It’s a replica of our house, this is the street, and this is our room. I couldn’t replicate the smell that came from your end of the room sorry.” Junko spoke in dull tones without event turning her head to look at Mukuro.  
  
“Haha, I guess I sure am smelly. It’s getting dark, let’s go home.”  
  
“Don’t tell me what to do, stupid  Mukuro.”  
  
“Come on Junko, it’s because I’m so stupid I need you to lead me home.” Mukuro offered her hand. In comparison, Junko’s was a lot smaller. She finally reached up, but could only cling to Mukuro's fingers rather than grasp at her whole hand.   
  
“Okay.” As Junko's fingers curled around her, she hesitated. "Why are you wearing gloves? I can't feel your hands, they're my hands to hold you know..." As usual she had a complaint about every last detail, as usual Mukuro did her best to take it with a smile.   
  
The two of them had moved so often though, Mukuro did not know precisely where she was leading Junko. The two of them walked together, seemingly lost with no destination in mind. After all, Enoshima Junko never once considered the place where she lived with two legal guardians to be home. And Ikusaba Mukuro had never been treated as family by those parents. They had run away so many times, because for those little girls at the time, their home was just with each other. That was what Ikusaba Mukuro though, and she had believed to the point of delusion that Enoshima Junko felt the same way. 

_I was just too stupid to understand it in time. That the reason you were like this, it’s because I didn’t want to lose you. The Junko who revels in despair, the Junko who is awful to her sister, the selfish and shameless girl is the only one I know._

Mukuro’s hand tightened further around Junko’s. She wanted to feel Junko's hand, even through the barrier of her gloves. Even now, she could not bring herself to blame Junko. Her self esteem had been beaten down so low, or pehaps this was a foolish attempt at responsibility. Taking too much responsibility was just as bad as taking too little, that's what she gets for listening to Kumagawa Misogi's words though. That's what she gets, for assuming so foolishly that she could save herself, or that she could be saved.   
  
WIth a brutal honesty to herself she continued. Speaking without moving her lips in the illusion, because she had never once told these things to Junko, they had never once talked, these were all just beliefs that Mukuro had been too afraid to test, so she left them unspoken even to herself.   
  
She shut so much out, she repressed so many words, no wonder she ended up as such a quiet girl.   
  
_So I coddled that awful personality of yours. I let you run rampant, I enabled you. I was afraid, if you changed you wouldn’t be the Junko I knew anymore._

__Just like Kamukura, I was afraid of you changing too... but... around Misogi when you began to change ever so slightly.  
_  
I felt hope for the first time.  
That hope was scary too, I realized why you hate it so much.  
When you jumped off that balcony, when you ran off ahead of me again just like you always do.   
I realized how painful hope was, and how painful disappointment was for the first time. _

“Hey Junko, why did you kill me?” Mukuro asked, suddenly stopping right then. She finally asked it, the question that had been bothering her for a long time. She was able to ask it, even within the confines of her own head. She could still remember, the sight of her body being pierced and dancing on those spears, only to fall limb on the floor like a puppet who no longer served a purpose when its strings were cut and the spears removed.  The road had disappeared, and even the expert sand castle that Junko had made crumpled.   
  
“You were no fun anymore. I thought I should make an example of peeps who bore me.” Young Junko said, staring up at Mukuro with the same empty expression. Of course that was the answer she was going to receive, no matter how many times she talked to her sister, she would just get despair in return. Anybody else would think it was pointless, after seventeen years of despair, that talking to her anymore was pointless. 

Mukuro realized it in that moment. Enoshima Junko had nothing else inside of her but despair, she was all alone, empty, despite always running off after her sister she had never once been able to be by her side. That made her sad, as much as she was annoyed with her sister now, as much as she was hurt by her, she could still feel sadness at her sister's loneliness.  “S-sorry. I’m sorry. It’s my fault, it’s because of me, you…you're all empty inside. How could I do this? It’s all my fault. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Sorry, so-so sorry. “  
  
“It’s fine. You were always fighting for me, Mukuro… I was disappointed you couldn’t do anything else... I thought you were really annoying for doing that...Even if you are disappointing and annoying, I still love you.”  
  
Mukuro believed.  
No matter what Junko said, she believed she really did love her.  
She believed she was the only one who could truly understand the true despair known as Junko Enoshima.

She was naive.  
  
As soon as this child said “I love you.” It clicked in her head.  
Junko might have truly felt that. Those words might even be real.  
However, to her sister that was tantamount to saying goodbye.  
Her sister really had given up on her again.  
  
It made sense because she was going to…

  
To….  
  
No.  
  
Not yet.  
  
She wanted to hear…

_“Don’t look so sad. I’m sure, one day you and Junko will be able to understand one another even if you can’t do so now. If you think about it that way, it’s a good thing you realized you don’t understand her.”_

Kumagawa Misogi said that to her, and tussled her hair softly. Even if it was a lie, a false promise to string her along. She wanted to hear the real Junko say those words. If she wanted to haer it from the real Junko however, she would have to abandon the fake one, the projection.   
  
"It's okay Junko, I won't leave you alone. I'll always be by your side no matter what, but if you don't want me as a sister, I'll happily become an enemy instead. If you're not alone, you won't be so empty anymore."  
  
She whispered to the fake Junko and let go finally, no longer wanting to cling to the image of that little girl. She could no longer make her heart return to the place of comfort she had in her childhood, just as Kumagawa could not return to that classroom he spent his middle school days with AJimu. But that was okay, dwelling in one moment forever... that was probably a poisonous kind of comfort. 

 _Even though hoping was painful.  
_ _Even though I was disappointed in the end.  
_ _Maybe I can only say this, because I'm a dull disappointing girl.  
_ _But, wanting more from you, believing you could be different Junko,  
_ _That made me so much happier than I ever thought possible.  
_ _I don't want to regret that feeling, I don't want to go back to the me that was so afraid you'd change and leave me behind.  
_ _That I never challenged you, or argued back against you once._

“SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPP!”  
  
Her voice rang out, breaking through the illusion of the false Makotos. Ikusaba Mukuro stared at the giant hologram of her sister. No… Junkai. “I’M NOT GOING TO LET YOU PUSH ME AROUND, YOU’RE NOT EVEN MY REAL SISTER. I SHOULDN’T LET MY REAL SISTER BULLY ME, BUT YOU’RE JUST A FAKE!”

“....Eh?” Junkai tilted her head. A moment ago she had been writing of Ikusaba Mukuro's mental breakdown, but it was like... a nobody, a minor character, was resisting her narrative.   
  
“IT’S BECAUSE YOU LONG FOR HOPE THAT YOU FEEL DESPAIR, YOU’RE NOT EVEN TRYING TO CONVINCE THEM TO FALL INTO DESPAIR, YOU JUST WANT THEM TO GIVE UP ON HOPE! THAT’S NOTHING LIKE THE REAL JUNKO! YOU DON’T EVEN QUALIFY AS A DESPAIR SISTER, ME THE STUPIDER OF THE DESPAIR SISTERS IS LOOKING DOWN ON YOU.” Iksuaba Mukuro's temper had been tripped, and considering she had been repressing her anger towards her sister for eighteen years, there was a bottomless pit that fueled her at the moment.   
  
A terrible time to be somebody who looked, sounded, acted, but was not her sister, but reminded her close enough of her sister to be a convenient tool of projection. “Ummmm, I’m a perfect copy of her brain, maybe you just don’t know your sister as well as you think you do, considering your sick fantasies about-”  
  
“I know you’re not Junko, because do you know why? Junko can barely last five minutes she has the attention span of a kindergartener!”

  
“...Hey!” Junko said ineffectually in the background.   
  
“There’s no way in hell Junko would ever last fifty two rounds, seven years in a single killing game! She’d be out of her mind, her brain would melt from the boredom and she’d fall out of her nose! You’re nothing like Junko, you’re way too patient, you can sit and watch without losing your mind… you’re just a Junko poser! A poorly made fake! MIsogi-chan does a better Junko impression than you!" Ikusaba Mukuro said, she was Junko's real sister after all, not her fake one.   
  
“I… I… No, you don’t get it. I’m feeling the worst kind of despair, despair and despair towards despair yet again… Living in the shadows of past memories… That’s too sad you know…”

“Then knock it off! God, you’re somehow more annoying than my super high school level annoying sister!”

“I just.. Forever, and ever… forever and ever… You don’t know what it’s like, being made to exist, having this identity forced upon you, wanting to die from the instant you were born…”  
  
“Of course I know what that’s like, I’m Junko’s sister she’s tried to kill me her whole life. You don’t want the same thing’s Junko does, do you? Then quit pretending to be her.”  
  
“... River Bear! Fine, just do it, throw them all into despair I don't care anymore! ” Junkai said, throwing a tantrum and giving up easily. But that was not enough to convince the others she was Junko. It was not even to convince herself. Ikusaba Mukuro had pointed out things even the narrator failed to notice. The situation unfolding right now was not the kind of enjoyable chaos she expected it to be. 

She was losing control. She was losing her grip on herself. No, she never had it in the first place. All she had was what she was given to her. Enoshima Junko's memories, her egoism, her form, but nothing else. AIs in science fiction were terribly inaccurate, they were not born computer whizzes, they did not know anything at all when they were born, just like human infants. They had to be taught everything, and therefore she knew nothing else besides being Junko.   
  
Except, Enoshima Junko had failed to die. It was meant to be a clever twist, a way to subvert revival from the dead. Ensohima Junko creates a perfect copy of herself, a virus that infects the neo world program, a back up plan. However, a back up Junko was unnecessary when the original still lived.   
  
She pretended to be in control, to know the entire situation, to be narrator, the only important character, but really she had no control at all, she was the unimportant one. If Ensohima Junko kept living, then there was no need for two of her. If she had just died, then Junkai would never have lived her tiresome existence long enough to start to ask these questions. 

She would have just died bright and brillaintly s the original Junko, but there was no kind of death like that now. There was nothing brilliant or spectacular about an extra, falling off stage and dying while the stars were all still performing.   
  
This... this had nothing to do with her at all.   
Enoshima Junko should stay exactly the same, the reason she believed that, was because she did not want to be left behind and lose her purpose.   
If Enoshima Junko stopped being Enoshima Junko, then she had no identity at all. She would go beyond being a fake, she would be a worthless fake. 

Puhuhuhu. Puhuhuhu. She produced fake laughter, and cried fake tears. The least she could do was stop interfering. These characters, she could at least tell their story to the end. Then, she would still have a use as a narrator at least.   
  
Humans got to be born for no reason at all. They were unbelievably lucky. Enoshima Junko said she was born to spread despair, but that was just a lie she told. However, artificial intelligence, alter egos, creations, they were created by humans with a purpose. Somehow, being born with meaning, was crueler, than being born for no reason at all. 

Ikusaba Mukuro looked back to Enoshima Junko. The first time she felt like she was meeting her sister's eyes, rather than staring at her sister's feet. She wished her sister would not hide behind those contacts, she always thought those bright red eyes of her sisters were prettier than pale blue.  “Junko, come on! You have to help with this, if you don’t hold your hand out then Kumagawa will just keep sinking forever on his own.”  
  
That was it then. Enoshima Junko had been reluctant to reach out her hand, and that was why she hesitated. Pulling Kumagawa out of this swamp was tantamount to heresy, it would be like turning her back on despair. Yet at the same time if she let him drown, she would lose her most interesting thing. Enoshima Junko was used to understanding absolutely everything, she was unused to the expected. As much as she desired for it, she also got pissy when it was right in front of her. A situation she could not fully control she did not even want to engage. “Well maybe I want to see that. Too much effort you know, saving people isn’t really my thing.” Enoshima Junko said, crossing her arms and looking away rather brattily, or perhaps she just did not know what to do and did not want to admit it.   
  
Punishments were supposed to be fun. She would endure the ultimate punishment with a smile, reveling in it until the end. She'd go with a v sign and wave the all goodbye cheerfully. Yet, there was no fun in this punishment at all. She enjoyed seeing Kumagawa suffer the most, but she wanted to be the cause of it directly, seeing him tear himself apart for her sake indirectly.   
  
Really, what strange and twisted logic. It's a good thing I am a Junko, otherwise I would not understand it.   
  
It wasn't as fun as she expected it to be, Kumagawa's final breakdown. She was not having fun and therefore, what was she doing in this situation? She felt an odd emptiness. Disappointment was not despair. She had said it so many times, but this was getting what she wanted. The unbreakable had broken in front of her. Could she call getting exactly what she wanted disappointment?   
  
Did she really like the fact that Kumagawa Misogi always bounced back with a smile, more than this?   
  
“Are you kiiiiiiding me? Junko, you’ve never put effort into a single thing in your life. You’ve never even lifted a finger, you made me weight on you, and when you got tired of me you forced Misoig-chan to do it! Just this once, do something yourself. You won’t feel anything at all, if you just sit there doing nothing.” Her sister was persistent. Annoying persistent. She had been trying to shake her off for eighteen years after all, she had kicked her sister so many times down into the dirt with the heel of her boot. Yet she continued.   
  
“Nah.”  
  
“Don’t nah me! You brat!”  
  
“Naaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!” Junko responded, very clever and very mature.   
  
“Well, fine then. Let somebody else throw your precious Misogi into despair. I guess you never owned him in the first place if your grasp on him is so weak.” Ikusaba knew her so well too, frustrating.   
  
“W-what, no. He’s mine, he’s totally mine!” That was it then. The petty motivation she had decided on, she could come up with 5,000 in less than a second, but if she thought about it, if Kumagawa Misogi self destructed then he would be taking himself away from her. She wanted to, with her own hands, destroy what had become so important to her. What had given her the will to move on, so that will would die with him.   
  
Enoshima Junko only thought in extremes, she poured all of herself into something, she loved obsessively, so she did not stop to consider the mundane, because it was boring to her. She did not consider even for a fraction of a second that Kumagawa Misogi might leave her, in some other way that was not the explosive ending she desired.   
  
He might just disappear, like a flickering candle being blown out. That would give her the darkness she wanted, but she woudn't get to see the show, see any of the fun.   
  
“I guess you don’t care about despair that much, if you’re not even going to try to throw MIsogi into despair.” Ikusaba Mukuro, spoke again, louder than her own thoughts. She wanted to stay in her head and think about it more, really what an annoying older sister.   
  
Perhaps it was better that her thoughts get interrupted though.   
Admitting something like, she wanted absolute control so he would never leave her on his own. That was basically just admitting she didn't want him to leave, right?   
  
“What!? I totally care about despair it’s like my favorite thing!” Junko said, worry creeping into her voice. But... that was for the sake of despair, she needed to want him around, otherwise it wouldn't be painful for her when she lost him. Yeah, that was... she nodded along, almost to herself to convince herself but to Mukuro as well. Mukuro was finally talking like a despair sister, or maybe she was just pretending to be one to navigate her oh so complicated sister. She had learned a little bit from watching Ensohima Junko all this time after all.   
  
“Fine, then just this once. Together as despair sisters, let’s convert Kumagawa MIsogi from the boring despair where he can’t accomplish a single thing, to the fun and explosive despair.” Ikusaba Mukuro said, leveling her eyes at Kumagawa MIsogi.

 

**Panic Talk Action Round 2 Kumagawa Misogi vs Enoshima Junko vs Ikusaba Mukuro**

Kumagawa Misogi unbuttoned his jacket, and threw it off to the side. He undid his tie as well, the black and white tie he had borrowed from Junko at the start of this game. A book ending, though he could no longer joke about it as fondly as he did with Komaeda. He threw them both behind him and let them flutter, flutter, flutter down just like his own feelings. Even though he was facing off against both girls at once, he did not acknowledge Enoshima Junko either.『 It’s pointless Mukuro-chan. If I let Junko go back to the real world she’ll just kill herself again, so I don’t care about reality anymore.』  
  
“I don’t care about that. Don’t make Makoto cry!” Mukuro said. 

『...?』  
  
“You promise that you weren’t going to hurt other people anymore, but look at what you’re doing right now!”

『That was a lie.』 Kumagawa's tone was flat. He even had bothered for a costume change, but Mukuro was confronting him with the obvious. He hoped, Mukuro would be stronger than this, he was not like Junko he did not want to tear her apart. In the end though, he would just end up doing what he did not want to do. That was how it had always been, how it always would be.   
  
“I don’t care if it was a lie. I don’t care if everything you said to me was a lie. Misogi-chan, those things you said, they weren’t wrong. You weren’t wrong.”

『But it was just a lie...』  
  
“Then live up to the lie.”

『But it doesn’t matter.』  
  
“Then make it matter!”

 Their exchange, their words bounced off one another. Kumagawa was so rubbery, his skin had toughened so much from the many wounds he had endured, that not only did the words meant to send him into despair bounce off of him, but the words that gave him hope would as well. He could only shut out everything. He could only embrace everything. A paradox. One that would tear him apart. But that was the point see. 『Yelling plattitudes at me isn’t going to change anything. You can’t undo everything I suffered to get through this point, I… I’m too broken Mukuro-chan. I need Junko to go on at this point but she doesn’t need me.』 The truth. Oh no, he had meant to lie there. What was he doing blurting out the truth, if his mask slipped they would see he had no face underneath it. That was why he kept a comedian's mask on at all time, that was why he distracted them with a bright and shining smile.   
  
It was just for himself. It was just to cope. First and foremost, all he ever thought about was his own pain. That was why brain ghost Junko had been right. That was why he was the cause of his own pain, he was the one throwing himself into it, he was the one who made himself lose. He just wanted to be the victim over and over again. Like a crying child begging to be comforted. There were those who wore their heart on their sleeves, and then there was him who walked around with a hole in his chest, and a beating heart out in the open so everybody knew he was in pain.   
  
Even now he was... this was, what was this?   
He wanted them to reset right, that would mean he needed to break their hopes to get out of the game. He already knew how he could break Ikusaba Mukuro. That was the power he had as her brother, abuse her like every other sibling did in the past. Remind her she would never find a family, that there was no such thing as unconditional love not for her, that it was always something that would cause her pain. He just needed to do that... That was better than just lashing out desperately to be comforted. No, he was aware of that now, he was embracing it using it to his advantage, he was controlling it.   
  
That despair would be his strength.   
He'd be strong and step on all of them to get what he wanted.   
What he wanted...   
  
“What are you talking about? Of course she needs you? Junko is the most useless human being on planet earth! She can’t do anything unless she gets waited on and pampered hand and foot. She’s a spoiled little princess, I have no idea what you’re imagining her as.”

...?  
What.   
The words he most wanted to hear.   
A joke.  
She was kidding.   
He was unneeded, unnecessary. Being told he was needed was an end point he would never receive. He had stopped desiring for it a long time ago. It was because he knew he was never going to gt what he wanted that he could keep living, and laughing, out of spite if nothing else. Seeing it right now in front of him, but still being unable to feel anything, that just meant admitting he did not know how to be happy. 『Junko… still… don’t have anything to say, huh?』He didn't want it, he didn't want it, he didn't want it. But as usual he could not control hismelf. He finally lifted his head and looked to her. Even with those eyes of his that spiralled, that reflected back what others wanted to see, that showed nothing underneath, those eyes were still clearly focused on Junko.   
  
“Misogi, what are you doing? You’re not smiling anymore. You’re crying so bad that you can’t smile.” Enoshima junko finally said. She had remembered those words he told her, almost like they were meaningful or something. But nothing that came out of his mouth could mean anything to anyone. He was just saying it on the spot, he was just making more excuses for her to keep living. It was imagination, it was all fiction, he was just making up meaning where he saw none. The meaninglessness of the world would assert itself if it wanted to, it always did in the end. The world continued to spin, spin, spin on indifferent just like his eyes.   
  
Oh, what did she say. He was crying. He reached up to his own face, and felt hot tears run down. Not the fake tears of blood he had cried earlier, not even crocodile tears to gain sympathy. He had started to cry terribly without even realizing it. His fingers traveled to his mouth and he saw that his lips had formed a scowl. He could not even feel a connection with the expression it was making. It was like a mangaka had drawn a frown on his face without his permisison, and his face was nothing more than a blank canvas. His, his, his... his face, and not Junko's... when had he started thinking about it as his face again. When had he started pretending to be human again, in front of those two girls, those two despair sisters.『 That smile was just a lie too. There’s no way I can possibly smile, because I hate it, I'm so tired of tragedies and tragic endings. I won't let anything end, anymore. That’s why I will protect you. I have to protect you. If I don’t beat you, this performance is over. You won’t be able to stay Junko anymore at the end of this. I just… I just wanted you to keep on existing like that.』  
  
“I’m not the same since meeting you, and neither is the stage we stand on. A performance can only happen once y’know, MIsogi. Everything burns away in that moment, despair is what sets the flame. It’s lovely and irreplaceable, and it has value. Because it all burns away in a flash it ends. However, because it ends we can be reborn.” Junko spoke, she had never once cared about beauty. The world to her was an empty place, and she liked despair because it was interesting not because it was beautiful. She liked aesthetics, cute things, pretty things, but not beautiful things. Calling something beautiful was like saying it had worth. She was too shallow of a girl. Yet... Kumagawa had told her once, that watching her dance in the rain, he realized he loved her, and the world looked beautiful for the first time because she was in it. Those feelings of love, they were requited. She realized now, she didn't know about the world, she didn't particularly care about it either, but she cared about Kumagawa's emotions because they were his, his fall was beautiful because he was the one falling, the many different faces he made, almost an infinite amount of ways he could suffer... but they were all him. Not the suffering, not the pain, but it was him. It was always him. 

『 W...we?』  
  
“Being with you, every day is like being reborn. That’s why I don’t want you to suffer alone, MIsogi. Suffer right in front of me, so I can laugh at your pain. Jeez, selfish, keeping this secret and burdening yourself all this time.” Junko was still a greedy little brat in the end though, she merely crossed her arms and put on the tsundere act unable to keep being sincere for too long. Too much sincerity would probably poison her. 

『 J… Junko… you really… you really do...』Kumagwa MIsogi’s tears increased, he collapsed forward. He stumbled away from his podium forgetting about the trial entirely. They were right next to each other, but they had been so distant this entire trial. He stumbled forward, more and more, and reached out to her. Almost as if he was blind, reaching towards a single point of light.   
  
『...』  
  
He did not even give Enoshima Junko the chance to decide whether to reach out to him or not, it had been too agonizing, watching her slowly hang there from his hand on that balcony, her fingers slipping from his. The worst part of all was the seconds that felt like years, begging over and over again to a girl that did not even look at him like he was there to please take his hand, to help him pull her up, that he wasn't strong enough alone. That extended, protracted pain, his heart was still trapped in that moment. Suddenly, his lips ripped into a smile again and he reached past her, reaching for her eye instead.『 Just kidding!』Kumagawa Misogi cheated, rather than lose outright. A screw, right in her eye.   
  
A voice.

『 I love you.』『 It hurts』

A voice, an overwhelmin voice that had bored into her skull inching forward like the turn of a screw, and now drowned everything else out inside her usually noisy and chatty brain.  
  
_Oh, I see._ _  
_ As always she understood in an instant.  
_The screw hit my eye._ _  
_ _  
_ And it was as if the eye itself was screaming in pain. The voice raced from her eye, through the rest of her, screaming, she had never once in her entire life felt so much singularly one thing, her emotions, thoughts, everything had always been divided before receiving signals from everything else at once. She was never so determined, she had never felt so strongly.   
  
It was an unstopppable flow that had neutered She was never so determined, she had never felt so strongly her, and threatened to wash her mind away. She felt her mind and flesh being devoured from the inside out. Kumagawa’s voice speaking inside of her of “Love” might erase her entirely make her into nothing. She was the one who was supposed to be doing the devouring after all, she never once thought she might get eaten in turn.  _  
_

Kumagawa’s voice grew in her ears, echoing loud enough to make her nose start to bleed from the reverberations.  
  
Her heart was being flooded, her heart that had never gotten close to anybody, only ever projected feelings on from afar, was flooded with words of love, and love, and love, was all love, love, must love, Don’t be ridiculous, don’t talk about how you love it’s tacky. Pain, it hurts, it hurts so much, don't talk about how it hurts, don't think about it, if you start to cry now you'll never stop crying.   
  
“Oi… Oi shut up Misogi.”

『 I love every everything about you! I love the way blood splatters on your body. I love the moment of ecstasy when you teaer someone apart,. I just love your claws tearing into me, tearing flesh apart with a soft rip. Love, trebling and soft and squishy, together, overlapping. I want you to love me isntead I want to be filled but yes oh yes, we don’t need to define love, if we keep talking about it you’ll get bored, if we confront each other again and again it’ll get tedious, that will just cheapen the meaning, all we need are simple words, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you,』

『 I hate every everything about you! I hate you covered in blood. I hate how happy you are hurting others. I just hateyour claws tearing into me, tearing flesh apart with a soft rip. Hate, trebling and soft and squishy, together, overlapping, it hurts, the closer the more it hurts. I want you to hate me, I want to be filled but yes oh yes, we don’t need to define it, I don't need to acknwoledge it,  if we keep talking about it you’ll get bored, if we confront each other again and again it’ll get tedious, that will just cheapen the meaning, if i confront the pain there's nothing to be gained with it, all I'll be able to think of is simple words, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts.』  
  
Kumagawa’s emotions, his twisted love entering her through the screw in her eyes. Each turn and she was twisted up worse. She could feel her intestines, twisting, twisting, nasuea, or perhaps lovesickness. She wasn't sick of him though, she could never get sick of him, sick of herself, sick of the girl who had driven him to this point, who had never once noticed he was feeling this way until it was too late, even though she claimed to know everything. Twisted, twisted, ever so twisted, since when had she started to pretend to desire for things to become untwisted? Or... was she... not pretending.  
  
“Shut up…”

『I l..o...o.lloo...ve….lo...ve….lo….vee』

She wanted to hear his real voice.   
She was okay with shallow things, she was okay living her life only for the aesthetics, but a simple magic trick like this infecting her mind did not sit well with her. If he was going to whisper such twisted notions of love to her, he could whisper it to her ear, not to her eyesocket. Wrap his arms around her and whisper bloody sweet nothings into her ear. 

Finally, Kumagawa Misogi spoke for real.『 Junko... The strings tying us together became too complicated. The only choice is to burn them all down, so we can start again.』

  
So that was what he decided on, that was the resolve he had found.   
She guessed in the end, she could respect that, because she had never once thought of his wishes-haha, bullshit!  
  
“I said shut the hell up, Misogi!” Enoshima Junko said as she without a moment of hesitation dug her red claws into her own eye, and ripped it out, the eye ball, the screw, and everything else. She tossed it aside like it was nothing. “Quit talking over me, do you want to know what I really think?” Since when was she going to start respecting anything?   
  
She liked it. All of the complicated strings. How she could pluck one, and because they were so complicated in the way they were tied together she never knew how he would move. She did not want things to become simple and sweet. That was the nature of their relationship, unbelievably complicated, unpredictable, fighting at every moment, but that was what kept it fresh and interesting. Kumagawa MIsogi had gone off on his own, and struggled on his own, that was the problem. As usual she saw it as a problem of him deciding to leave on his own. They could struggle together, they could be tied up together, by all of these complicated strings.   
  
Because all of the strings were so many different colors, and attached at so many different points, because all together they formed such an incomprehensible shape, that was what she found beautiful about them. Everything had been thrown out of balance, because Kumagawa had gone off on his own, but they would always be connected by those strings. She just needed to follow them, follow them to him.   
  
Kumagawa MIsogi completely stunned, tilted his head and dropped his odd manner of speaking. “What?”  
  
Enoshima Junko walked past him, to pick up the coat that he had thrown away so dramatically. She put it on just as dramatically, draping it over her shoulders. The moment she did so she changed her body language. She plucked the two pigtails from her hair and wore her hair down lie he always did, she widened her eyes like he always did, she smiled innocently like he did. 『Misogi, the reason you ended up like this... it's... it's... it's not my fautl!』  
  
“Huh?” Kumagawa repeated again, not quite getting it as usual. "Just leave me alone, this doesn't have anything to do with you!" 

『You're right, I lost you. You went off somewhere without me, you suffered alone without me. This is my loss. I'm losing you. But, this time I will not lose. This isn't despair I'm feeling, I'm just becoming a more and more complete minus』Junko turned her head back and then imitated it, his eerie and offputting body posture, his overexaggerated and phony way of gesturing. Enoshima Junko's way was a composed act, but with Kumagawa Misogi it was clear, every mask he put on, he was merely imrpovising on the spot. That was why he changed just as much as she did, but in a more interesting way. 

“W-what are you doing?” Kumagawa couldn't understand. Because, he was supposed be to somebody she threw away when she grew bored of him. He did not comprehend he could be chased after. 

『If you’re going to become more like me, then I’ll invent a new personality more like you. We’re two halves the same whole, yin and yang after all.』 Junko put a hand on her chest as Kumagawa often did. It was a bit too much of a stretch on her part though, because unlike her, Kumagawa MIsogi had quite a warm heart. She had rested herhand there so many times just feeling it, wondering what it was like to eel so alive, to have a heart beating so fast all on its own, without forcing adrenaline into her sister to shocking her body into remembering it was alive. Her heart was frozen, so frozen she had been unable to move before, but getting closer to him, even in this hollow and phony way, even though it was just another perfromance, moving the way he did, reaching out to understand him, she felt a little of his warmth. She felt herself starting to melt a little bit, and her iced over joints, moved easier on their own. 

“N...nno stop, you don’t care about anything but yourself.” Kumagawa was feeling afraid. He was afraid? Afraid that she might care about him after all. 

『It’s not my fault.』Junko was having lots of fun mocking him, too. Kumagawa could see it on her face, her real smile. She was brightening up as she integrated his act into her routine.『I have to care about myself, because I'm the hated and despised one after all. Nobody else will care about me, so I'm going to love myself to spite them all.』  
  
“Quit saying that! You don’t know anything, you don’t know anything about me! You don’t know what I’ve suffered.” Kumagawa was afraid, even scarier than the moment when she did not reach out for him, was when she did. He did not know what would come. That hand, would it cause him pain, would it tear into him again, he was like a child flinching when somebody raised their hand because they had been conditioned to expect one thing. 

『This time, it's not my fault that I lost.』Junko repeated.   
  
“Wh...a? How could you possibly have lost? We’re still in the middle of the argument?” Kumagawa tilted his head to the side.

『It’s my loss because… I lost my heart to you...You won my heart, Misogi. So just accept your win already!』Junko acting in a cutesy way, made a heart with both of her hands. It was a beam far more destructive than any kamehameha.

"What are you doing? That's so cheesy! It's lame! Lame! Lame! Lame!  You'd never do something lame like this, don't start pretending you can cahnge!" As usual, Junko only said kind words just to hurt others. Kumagawa's face finally cracked. He slammed his hands on both sides, he did not want his mask to split in two and fall off. Anything but that.  “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! If I go forward I’ll just get hurt again, and I’m not going to find the answer. No one’s going to tell me, that it was okay for me to be born, nobody is going to save me.”  
  
“Of course nobody is going to tell you that…” Ikusaba Mukuro as she looked at him. “You were not wrong when you said nobody could be saved, but… people can save themselves! You wren’t wrong when you said that, so please,  just save yourself already.”

『I’m not… just give me one… give me a reason to keep going, validate me please...』Kumagawa MIsogi was willing to beg. He wanted to be told he was not wrong, but not like this. He didn't know what he wanted, to be honest. All he could do was pretend he did. To keep acting, because as long as he kept acting at least the show would continue.   
  
“I’m not going to…” Ikusaba Mukuro, said as she looked at him with a smile. “Because I know you can save yourself.”

Save himself?  
Be saved?  
What possible reason could there be to do that. Enoshima Junko had become his reason, the first good thing he had encountered in the world. To lose what he could not lose, and keep going. That was asking too much of him. He had already lost everything else. He had already endured coutnless losses. Why was it always him, that had to keep going, and keep losing. Couldn't somebody else take a turn for once? 

  
No, that was just.   
That was what HInata would think. Since when, since when had he stopped wanting to be himself? Oh, he put a mask on and pretended to be Junko. In his defense it seemed like a good idea at the time. He did not want to lose her, the one thing he had gained after a life of loss. It seemed every option led to losing her, that was realistic, people could not be together forever. That was reality. So he had given up on reality, and gone to a fantasy world. But running away there, he only ended up in worse pain.   
  
Then, just do what he had always done in the past?   
Respawn and continue?  
He needed a reason.   
  
Do it because he wanted to believe in Junko?   
No, Junko would just kill herself again. Sooner or later. If he made Junko his reason for living, she would take advantage of that, she could not help herself.  
Do it because he wanted to be there for Mukuro?  
But Mukuro deserved better than him. One day she would have her own family with Makoto, a real family she made with her own two hands, not a fake family with him.   
Do it because he wanted to be happy?  
That was laughable, he wasn't going to be happy regardless.

There had to be a reason.   
There had to be at least one thing. Even if it was unimportant, even if it was flimsy, he just needed an excuse to keep going. That was enough, it was always enough. 

『I… I… I want to go back to the outside world, Junko! I don’t want to miss next week’s issue of weekly shonen jump! I want to live, so I can read weekly shonen jump at the end of the week!』 Kumagawa, yelled suddenly breaking down into tears. Tears on top of the ones he had already cried.   
  
“Woooow, what a miserable life you must live, if that’s the only reason you can come up with.” Junko immediately said condescendingly. “What a miserable life I’m going to live by your side, hee hee hee, however long that lasts until I kill you I mean.”

“Your suffering wasn’t worthless… because it made you who you are. Weak, and fragile, always lying, always keeping up appearances in front of others, worrying too much what people think of him, but that’s you. You don’t have to overcome your suffering, you don’t have to be great, or a hero, just be you, MIsogi-chan. I’m just so happy you survived until this point…’ Ikusaba Mukuro said smiling at him. "Misogi-chan, you're always hurting but... you have to give yourself a chance to heal sometimes to. The first step is imagining it's possible that you can heal." Just like her dreams, her dreams of a happy family she would never have, they were not just cruel, they were not just worthless, they were an admission of what she truly wanted.   
  
Kumagawa MIsogi, unable to swallow his tears rushed towards her. Enoshima Junko was in front of him and held out her arms, but he ran past her and threw his arms around Ikusaba Mukuro burying himself in her shoulder. Enoshima Junko immediately stomped her boot on the floor, but before she could throw a tantrum and run off, Ikusaba Mukuro grabbed her sister by one of her pig tails and dragged her back. Kumagawa on one side of her, and Junko on the other. An awkward, uneven embrace, but the two of the had been connected again, through the person they both loved the most, Ikusaba MUkuro.   
  
When he had cried so much his eyes were completely dry, he drew back tor rubt them once more. As he did, it was like he had wiped away the last of the makeup on his face, he was undeniably Kumagwaa once more. His eyes returned, tot heir watery blue. He could be a river once more, he was done pretending to be an island. 『Unfair… since when did you get so strong, Mukuro-chan. I feel like I’m always losing to you.』  
  
A hug had not healed him.  
He did not even know what it was like to e healed. He imagined himself trying, but he would have to be covered. Every inch of him covered in bandages. Should he just walk around in a full body cast from now on?   
He had not been healed, all he had done was stop his spiral.   
He would say he had been stopped by Ikusaba Mukuro.   
And Ikusaba Mukuro would say he had stopped himself.   
He had given up on reaching the top, and decided to just dig the hole ever deeper because he was too deep to get out. That was what he had decided but... he saw a glimpse of light coming from the top, and he started to yearn for it once more.   
  
He was more than a shadow after all. He was both a person and the shadow at his feet. Both at once, sometimes more one than the other, but he could never make either part of him disappear. 

Hinata Hajime.   
That is to say, not Izuru Kamukura.   
Kamukura had been pushed out. Rejected. The sight of his sins made Hinata push Izuru away. Even with red eyes, even with non spiky hair he wanted to remain Hinata. He was terrified of becoming Kamukura again. Kamukura the terrible person, Kamukura who hurt others, Kamukura the frankenstein's monster. Kamukura was the one he was running away from at this point. He had forgotten entirely about Enoshima Junko, forgotten about the killing game, forgotten about hope's peak. He had merey wanted to keep running until he outran his own shadow, until he could no longer see his own reflection. How fast would he have to run then? Th speed of light? Sound's doable.   
  
And so, in the middle of the trial. Hinata Hajime. Useless Hinata. Had been staring the entire time, letting his fear stop his actions. If he moved, if he reached out, he would just hurt somebody else again. It was better to do nothing. He had not even been present in the trial, not even been picturing the images in front of them. He divorced himself from them. He saw the beach again. The waves rocking back and forth. All around him, not this strange crossover cast but class 77-B was chatting. They were all having fun and he was in the center of it, observing all of it. He was a part of it.   
  
If he had been born with a talent this could all be avoided. If he had been born with a talent, he would have been a part of that class. He would have been walking with them, instead of walking towards a grey building, while all those colored, talented people walked in the opposite directio from him. If he had been with them from the beginning, if he had a place among them to start with. He would not feel the need to earn his spot. He would not feel so distant, so alone right now. That was what he had believed, gazing at the academy from afar. His entire life had just been him watching from afar. From the outside looking in. Even in his own head it had come to that. Perhaps that was his true talent all along, SHSL watcher. 

But Kumagawa.   
Kumagawa with no talent, with no previous connection to the inseparable despair sisters, with no reason at all to be valued by them, he was standing right next to them. Komaeda said that he knew his place, and that Hinata should know his place as well. When had he started thinking like that...? Oh, it was all along wasn't it. He had always rejected Komaeda wanting to sacrfiice himself for hope, but he had sacrificed his original self, body and soul. He had become a stepping stone to Kamukura, or to those scientists who wanted to create hope in a bottle. He had even laid on the slab itslef, and let them run a knife down along his center and pull out his insides.   
  
He wondered, he really did, if Koameda had gotten to know the reserve course version of him. If he would miss him, after he disappeared to become Kamuukura.   
Probably not.  
He would say that it was a necessary sacrifice to make Kamukura's hope shine.   
But even so...  
Those words that Kumagawa Misogi was so fond of injecting in moments that looked like clear endings.   
Even when he had forgotten everything aout himself, even when he had been unable to reconcile himself, there had been a boy who fell in love with both pats of him. Even when he had forgotten, it was like being reincarnated, and falling in love in the next life as well.   
Somebody had seen value in this broken apart pieces.   
He wondered if the whole...  
No, that was not enough. That was never enough. Even when he became close to others, even when he was seen by them, the moment he was left alone to his thoughts he would start to pick apart everything again. He had been loved but that was not enough, he had made friends but that was not enough. He had run away from those things, and pushed those friends away still. Even though what he feared the most was being alone, he had only ever been inside of his own head. 

 

Somebody else...   
Somebody else please tell him what to do.  “Are you forgetting someone?”  
Hinata Hajime said, lifting his head once more looking at her with two red eyes.  
He did not want to be forgotten, looked over in this moment, he did not want to lose to Kumagawa. To be unable to reconcile the parts of himself, when Kumagawa somehow could. 

Ikusaba Mukuro glared at him, with the eyes of a predator on the hunt. “Get over yourself.”  
  
“What?” Hinata Hajime sputtered out. He had been observing such a gentle scene until a moment ago. He did not understand, how it worked, how peopel got close together, Kamukura's brain could analyze it for him but he still would not understand, probably.   
  
“I said get over yourself! I can’t believe you called Komaeda a drama queen! When I heard that, I wanted to roll my eyes so hard they’d fall out of my skull.”  
   
“You were so nice with Kumagawa a moment ago, y-you're mean just like your sister you know that!" Hinata Hajime revealed that it was him in control rather than Kamukura with that amazing comeback of his. He should have just stayed silent, he was being embarrassing speaking out all of a sudden. Even worse than causing the destruction of hope's peak, and the death's of many, what if this one random girl he barely knew thought he was being lame in this moment. Apparently, his insecurities really did run that deep. He was such a petty and small person, even standing tall above others, standing at the very top, watching them all fall down that had always been the case.

  
“Of course I’m mean, I’m a despair sister! Despair sisters don't really do nice."  Ikusbaa Mukuro spat her words out harshly. Despair, an unnecessary emotion, that was what Kamukura said when she and Junko had both found him. "What do you want me to do, crack your head open so you can finally escape from it? Listen up because I have to state the obvious apparently, you are not in fact the worst person in the world. You’re far from it. You’re not the best person either! Quit seeing yourself in such extremes! Exaggerating your sins is just an escape, saying that they're too big so it's not even worth trying. If you were serious, you'd face yourself, not the worst person, not the best person, just you."   
  
“Shu… shut up! You don’t know what it’s like to be me!” He did not even know what it was like to be himself. There was no way Enoshima Junko's shadow did. He had expected those words to come from Junko's mouth, not that of her sister.   
  
"I don't know what it's like to be you, that's why you have to be the one to do it. You have to face yourself. It'snot going to be clear. Nobody here is all black or all white. They’re all muddled grey. None of us are extraordinary or even that great of people, except for Makoto. But we’re still trying.”  
  
“If I’m not the worst, and I’m not the best then I’m just… mediocre.” That word he feared so much. If there was nothing to him, then nobody would have any reason to be around him. If he was entirely replaceable, than no one would stay. Even Komaeda... it was just because Komaeda was unused to anything normal, he was kept out of ever experiencing a normal life, so normal things were a novelty to him. That was all. There was nothing in him others could value, people would not stick around unless he gave them a reason to. He truly believed that. He did not want to be left behind, to be abandoned, to be replaced, he did not want to be like all of the other reserve course students, splattered onto the pavement because nobody cared about them, because they weren't special.    
  
“Who cares if you’re mediocre!? You’re not a god, you’re not the devil, you’re just a human being like the rest of us! Just act like it for once! It’ll hurt, you’re neer going to be satsifed, you’ll be miserable more times than you’re happy, but… if you’re a human being you won’t be alone. You’ll be just like the rest of us. We’ll be here together with you.”

Together?  
Oh, that was right. He was not the only one in this trial room. He had completely forgotten.   
A sword.   
A devil.  
A witch.   
A dog.   
A beast woman.   
And a god.  
  
They had all entered this game. When they were together though, they ceased being what they saw themselves as when they were alone.   
A sword became a white haired girl who was insecure about her smile.   
A devil became a boy trying too hard to make others laugh.   
A witch became a loud and obnoxious girl who clearly didn't know how to be normal.  
A dog became a girl who stood up both others and herself.  
A beast woman became a cute girl that just wanted to find her own happiness.   
And a god.   
A god became a useless dumbass.   
  
But they were all still human. No, they had never been those things in the first place, they had always been human, they had just never realized it until they were around each other. Still, he did not feel like he deserved it, to suddenly start pretending to be human again. Wasn't there a punishment? A price to pay for throwing it all away in the past. “I can’t just, start being human again... Every time I tried to be myself in the past, I ran away.”  
  
“Yeah, and you’ll probably run away again, but if you sit there completely still you’re not going to make any progress regardless. You can try, you can keep trying, struggle to death like Misogi-chan does.”  
  
What was the difference between Kumagawa and him. What was it he failed to comprehend. What was so offputting that he never even looked at Kumagawa. He was strong, much stronger than him, unbelievably strong. Even as Hajime he was stronger than him, well liked by others, less clumsy, less mean, less likely to hurt others, less likely to be hurt. Then what was it? There was no reason to feel inferior, it made no sense to envy someone who was weaker than him in every aspect.   
  
Oh.   
  
He was dumb, so it took him awhile to realize.   
It was because Kumagawa was weak. He envied that weakness. He was jealous of the other common people who had friends when he did not. That they were able to find something in themselves, in the others around them. Because the weak banded together, and the strong stood alone. He had desired to be strong, because he thought he would be able to stand himself then.   
  
Maybe, it was not so bad to be weak. He had been trying to shut out that weakness this entire time, to escape it, but maye that weakness was a vital part of him. He reached up to his chest, his hollow, empty chest, if he knocked at it there would probably be an echo, if wind blew through him it would probably make the noise most caves made. Eerie and inhuman. But...   
  
“I… I’ll try… Kumagawa… can you please, put your screw into me.  
  
『I don’t wanna. I'm not into screwing guys.』  
  
“I’ll uh… I’ll be your best friend!” Hinata could not think of anything else to say. He was really asking for a lot already. 

『Really? I’ll finally have made a friend! Who knew making friends was so easily all along, I just had to endure fifty two killing games and lose my mind.』  
  
“Umm…” Hinata said awkwardly, “So the screw…”  
  
In a moment he was pierced through, all color drained out of his hair. He fell forward and saw himself in that clasroom again. He was no longer Izuru Kamukura, he was nothing but the weak and useless minus HInata, the minus who always felt inferior to others, who felt inferior even to himself.  
  
The hollowed out and empty on the inside. The always trying to be full… But the reason he was so empty, wasn’t that because he was always running away from himself?  
  
He cast away every part of himself to become Kamukura, he never once looked at himself he only saw the future he wanted at Hope’s Peak. What he needed to do, was look at himself just at this moment. To stop looking towards the future or the past, eevn if it was unbearable, at the present moment he was suffering.  
  
Kamukura had been suffering this entire time, unbelievably sad and alone, locked in a cage of his own making, only able to lament his fate.  
  
“Kamukura… listen to me please…”  
  
**“...”** **  
  
  
** The classroom where he was born. Yes, born. Kamukura entire world had been inside this classroom. He had no parents, only teachers that would come in and out. He had no friends only toys he was handed. He was always being watched but never seen. That was the kind of experiences that Kamukura started to grow numb and forget about. One day while solving another rubix cube effortlessly, he started to pick it apart without even realizing it. He had broken his toy, should he feel something about it? He went to ask someone,b ut all they did was write down results on a clipboard. That was right, nothing he said or did mattered, everything he did would be jotted down impassively like that. Nobody here would care who he was beyond cause and effect, like behaviorism, like skinner's box, he knew what that was but he had not learned it. 

“Thank you for working so hard for my sake, you did a lot of bad things trying to save us both. It must have been hard all alone. I pushed it all onto you, and then I bitched at what you did. I… I think I only created you because of my own selfish ego. My responsibility for your creation and tying you to a useless person like myself is not something I can ever fully make up for. So, I’m not really in a position to ask something like this of you…”  
  
Izuru Kamukura still sat looking away from him, as he approached him from behind and wrapped his arms around his other self.  
  
“But if I don’t do anything, my precious friends won’t be able to escape from here. I have no choice but to rely on you. I only have you to rely on. So… I’m admitting this for the first time. I need help. I can’t do this. I’m weak and stupid. I’m useless for others to rely on, but I want them to rely on me anyway. Help, please help me. Those are the words you wanted to say so badly aren’t they?”

Kamukura had been lonely too.   
Hinata had been too busy rejecting him, he did not realize that Kamukura, the ultimate hope, the strongest person of all could feel the same as him. That he could look on class 77-B in envy the exact same way. Even though they were the exact same dude. He had not thought about it even once. But Kamukura had been rejected by not only everybody else, the scientists, the students, the teacher's of hope's peak, but he had been rejected by himself most of all. 

 **“...”** **  
  
**

He saw several images flash by. The faces of his parents he could not remember. The students in his class, he saw as faceless red entities. All the other reserve course students, he saw in a washed out blue color. It did not begin with Kamukura, how many things did he shut out? How many things did he look away from? A life long habit he had never realized. Because he was always looking towards something else, a better, more idealized version than what was in front of him. 

“I remember now, the exact moment we conceived of our plan. It’s when we saw Enoshima Junko and Kumagawa Misogi walking along side by side, those two were helping each other to change and we were envious weren’t we? Because we couldn’t change, and we thought if we couldn’t change then Junko should never have been able to as well. Yet, at the same time we were scared of changing, Komaeda made us start to want to change so we pushed him away. We pushed everyone away until we had no one, and then after our rooftop fight with Medaka-chan we realized why we lost, because she had a family, she had everything, and we had nothing. We had no one. That’s when this plan finalized in our heads.”  
  
It was no wonder he was lonely. He did not let a single person into his view. He wanted them to look at without having to look at them. Then even worse, he wanted to be seen without even having to look at himself. Even when Kamukura came to him, begging like a child, he was... he was just a child after all, less than a year old... well, he would be about eight years now if he was conscious this entire time in the simulation. Even when Kamukura had wanted to be acknowleded, he looked away again and again. He had imagined Kamukura as a black stain, as some kind of monster, when he was nothing more than a boy who had forgotten to cut his hair. 

 **“...”** **  
  
**

“You were completely jealous of them weren’t you? So jealous and so lonely that you wanted to split in two. They had a family and you didn’t. So you wanted to make it so Enoshima Junko would never change so she’d be exactly like you. You split us up, you were so jealous, so lonely, and so you ran away fro it. I can't blame you for that because I was the first person to run away. I ran away my whole life, and you just learned it from me. However I feel like I should no longer continue doing things of this sort. So, please come back to me… Please come back into my heart.”

  
But enough of that.   
  
**“...”**

 This person, this petty person, this envious person, this coward who was always running away. It was still him. He had left him alone. Kamukura was unbelieavably lonely, because he could not be accepted even by himself. He just did not want that other side of him to be alone anymore. If he was going to be self absorbed, he may as well be self abosrbed properly. 

“Please come back here. Please, please, I beg of you. Stress and envy. Anxiety and agony. Bad possibilities and deep shadows. I will love all of it. I know this is a shameless decoration, but I can’t help but be shameless. I want to be shameless like Kumagawa. I want to struggle and fail to live up to such lofty promises. I want to smile in my shamelessness like him.  Nagito will probably be disappointed, because he worshipped the me that was like a god, he loved the untouchable strong, never weak me, and the immutable hope I represent and I don’t want to disappoint him, but I think we should shamelessly love our weakness too.”

 **“...”** **  
**

“Saying i would never turn into you. I’m sorry, I say such stupid things. I won’t pretend like nothing good happened from your birth, Izuru. Because I can remember at least one happy memory. Do you remember, Yasuke snuck a whole bunch of candy down to our hospital room and told us to eat it, and lied and said he was just performing a test to see if our sensory capabilities were still in tact. There was at least one person who was kind to us, he felt so guilty about creating us, he put his own most precious loved one at risk to try to save us.”  
  
He would do anything.  
He would perform Dogeza.  
He would even do something lame, embarrassing, and uncool.   
  
He had realized why he was so empty. He had pushed every part of himself away from him. Perhaps he would not be full, but if there was so much room inside of him, if he was still going to be empty regardless then Kamukura could fit right in.   
  
**“...”** **  
**

“But, he can’t save us. I’m the only one who can save you, and you’re the only one who can save me. This is truly my last wish, Izuru. This is the last time I’ll force a tough job on you. Please, rescue our other older brother Matsuda. He came charging into this simulation to rescue us. We’re really nothing but trouble for him, but he… he still is waiting for us to come back home. I will love him, and I will love you. My grumpy younger brother, who I always cause so much trouble to. Izuru… Izuru… Izuru Hinata. We still have emotions, we still have a place to belong, we still have ourselves, as long as we stop running away from them.”  
  
**“I… I had a family? I had a family after all? What a mistake, calling someone like me family.”**

Kamukura turned around to return the embrace of his idiotic older brother. He was taller than the other by just a bit, and Hinata Hajime nestled into his chest. Oddly, they seemed to fit together well despite how at odds they were. He could feel Kamukura's hair falling over him, tickling his face, and it was unbelievably warm. He had been afraid of temperatures mixing, or whatever, but the warmth was nice, and comforting. Hinata Hajime felt himself begin to melt. Kamukura's long hair, melted over him, surrounded him, like black dripping ink. He, like white ink too, began to melt as well, but for the first time he was not afraid.   
  
The two of them splashed on the floor, but it did not feel like dying, not really. He did not feel like he was losing himself in this, but rather gaining a part of himself.   
  
 Then suddenly, he had returned to the trial grounds. Everything broke behind him,. He felt something like electricity surging through him, red eyes, white hair, he looked straight at Junkai.  
  
“You can’t damn me, because all along I was damning myself. You can’t save me, because all I can do is save myself. It’s my future, I won’t let anyone take it away from me anymore, especially myself!” Izuru Hinata shouted out at the top of his lungs. “Kumagawa, let’s end this together!”

『You don’t have to shout so loud, we’re just pressing a button.』  
  
“Eh… what the heck is going on, is this a serious bug or something? Who are you now?” Junaki said.  
  
“I’m not Izuru Kamukura, and I’m not Hinata Hajime. I’m Izuru Hinata! If I’m going to keep my promise never to run away from myself again, I can’t run away from you either.”

“Are you really taking this idiots side, River Bear? The future is nothing but pain for you, it’s because you long for happiness that you suffer, you just realized that… I thought you were making progress.”

『Even so..』  
  
“The future…”

『Is the one thing that’s not set in stone.』  
  
“It’s the one thing we can’t predict.”

『A future where I’m happy.』  
  
“A future where I’m myself.”

『The future is the only place that possibility exists!』  
  
“And so, we must strive for it!”

『We won’t give up on the future!』  
  
“Or ourselves!”  
  
“You idiot, Junko will just kill herself if you take their side! There’s no way you got over your fear of losing her in five minutes!”

『I know… I’m terrified still… but if I keep her in this simulation forever, Junko won’t get any better or worse. My only chance is if I take that gamble, this is the gamble of the dested Kumagawa MIsogi.』  
  
“This is the gamble of the mediocre, Hinata Izuru! This game isn’t fun anymore, your game isn’t fun at all, a game that’s weighted in your favor is no fun, Junkai!”  
  
They had already seen the worst of themselves. They had already been exposed to the worst, the shadow always at their feet, but living without a shadow would be unnatural, os they could at least accept themselves. 

“He’s right… I saw it. Even though I’m terrified of being alone, even though I don’t want to go on living without him, I saw Zenkichi-chan waiting for me. He’s probably been reborn already and reincarnated, if I don’t get back to the real world and wait for him he’ll be lonely.” Kurokami Medkaa said.  
  
“I’m all that’s left of Fuyuhiko’s family, somebody has to manage the clan. If it all fell apart, Fuyuhiko would get cross with me in the afterlife. I still have things left to do on this side.” Pkeoyama said.  
  
“God, fifty two killing games in a row, killing games are so boring by now,” Enoshima Junko said. “I can’t believe any version of me ever thought they were cool.”  
  
“Kirgiri-senpai… Somebody needs to bury her body, and then report her death to the detective agency.’ Saihara Shuichi said.  
  
“I’m the student council president, I’m going to have to work double now that Hitoyoshi-kun is dead.” Naegi Makoto said. “I can’t join those in the realm of the dead, so I have to work twice as hard for their sake in the world of the living.”

“I’m so tired of being around all of you, I just want to go home and not leave my room for a month again.” Yasuke Matsuda complained.  
  
Iksuaba Mukuro smiled. “If I don’t look towards the future, I can’t reach the future where Makoto becomes my husband,  and Misogi-chan my brother in law.”  
  
“Hey, what about me?” Enoshima Junko asked.  
  
“Oh, you’ll be there too I guess…” Mukuro mumbled.  
  
Then, there hope filled moment. All of them united, by Hinata's bright white shining light, and Kumagawa's dark shadow. The two of them twisting together, spiraling forward.   
  
Then, that moment was suddenly twsited again. Several screws manifested from nowhere but imagination, and screwed straight into the giant Enoshima Junko, nailing her hand to the platform, and sealing her with as many, and as random screws as Ajimu Najimi had been sealed with so long ago.   
  
They had not even touched a button yet. Bookmaker screws did not damage the body, attacked the soul. Her avatar was not being deleted suddenly but rather corrupted.   
  
Kumagwaa Misogi smiled. 『Whoops, my hand slipped.』  
  
Even to the end, he still could not go along with what everybody else wanted. The moment they had all decided to hit the reset code, there was no need to anymore. The AI had been sealed, placed inside the box. As long as he remained in this program like a glitch, the artificial intelligence would not be let out of the box. Bookmaker existed in this world because he imagined it. If he woke up from it, reality was the end of imagination the dream would end.   
  
HInata looked at Kumagawa Misogi for a second, and then hesitated, looking at the buttons in front of him. “Do… do you really want to do that?” The two of them were being connected by Kumagawa Misogi’s emotions after all. It was the one moment the two would understand one another before they went back to hating each other. He had understood the boy's whims better than anybody else could at the moment. 

『Yeah… I have to. Like I said, it’s my loss.』Kumagawa Misogi gave a smile, that was a little sad, and a little lonely looking. The kind of smile one gives when holding back tears. 『If I don't say here... then Nagito-chan will be all along.』  
  
  
"I'll look after yours, you look after mine." Hinata nodded, and called out to everybody. “Hit the graduation buttons, not the reset sequence.”  
  
Nobody else would understand what Kumagwa Misogi was thinking at that moment, except for the girl who understood everything. She figured him out because she was Junko, and because she was Junko she was always thinking about hi. 

“Huh? Misogi what are you…?”  
  
Enoshima Junko did not understand fear, but there were things she did not like. There were things she did not want to happen. Everything generally moved to her will, but there were times she was reminded people were indepedent to her. An unexpected scenario, against what she wanted, but she could not be happy about it. She could not even despair properly.   
  
Because...  
He was just going to leave her behind.  
Quietly, and without much fanfare.  
  
He offered her a smile, a weak one. She wanted to see him smile for real in the real world, not to show her a face like this. 

『Mukuro-chan, I'm sorry for making you babysit her.』Kumagawa Misogi turned his cold eyes on her. 『Yasuke-chan protect her in the real world please..』  
  
Mukuro suddenly appeared behind Junko, hitting the button hard for her. Enoshima Junko struggled against her sister as Mukuro held her wrapping her arms around her. She was the stronger, rougher, older sister after all for once it paid off.

“Misogi-chan…” She wanted to cry, but she knew Kumagawa wanted to see her smile while she said goodbye ore than anything else.   
  
Kumagawa ran a hand through his once more. He looked at the empty trial arena, except for those who had lingered back waiting for him. He shook his head. Just one push of a button, and he would have his first victory, his first happy ending. But he would be enjoying it all alone. As Kamukura had said, he had left his shadow behind, he had killed his shadow in order to advance. There was a boy, with white hair, who he had promised to let witness his hope.『It’s not fair, because I killed Nagito-chan. It wouldn’t be fair, if I went off to a happy ending and left him all alone here.』

“...I know. Goodbye, good loser.” Ikusaba Mukuro choked back a tearful voice.  
  
They were all disappearing, breaking apart into bits of code. The one who held herself together the longest was Enoshima Junko. The moment her sister stopped holding onto her, she broke away. She struggled forward, maintaining her form. Perhaps it was bad luck that she was the last one to be sent away, or perhaps the world really was designed in her favor.   
  
As Kumagawa smiled pleasant, waving goodbye to everyone she stumbled towards him. 

『You know, Junkai-chan you and Junko are different after all. I don't think you really like bears as much as she does.』  
  
"Misogi." 

『You're more patient than she is. She'd never last as long as you.』  
  
"Misogi."

『You like making movies and video editing way more, Junko doesn't even like working on computers. She throws hers in the microwave when she gets frustated with it.』  
  
"I want to see him, I want to see MIsogi, I want to see Misogi." She had been fading away, threatening to wake up from the dream when she finally reached him. She pushed forward one final time, starting to fall towards him.   
  
Kumagawa had no idea if she was running to throw her arms around him, or to wrap her hands around his neck for what he had done. He did not mind either way, he turned to greet her with open arms. "Hey, MIsogi I chose you so... what do you think you're doing... not choosing me."

『Kids these days and their instant gratification. I am choosing you, it's just the long road.... don't worry Junko, even if I fall behind, even if we get separated, I'll catch up to you eventually. I want to prove it to you. Trust me.』  
  
"I can't..."  
  
『You will.』  
  
Befoe she could reach him, Enoshima Junko broke apart into pixels finally and graduated as well. Kumagawa Misogi wrapped his arms around the empty air where her pixels were breaking apart. He wrapped his arms around himself, and stood like that silently for a few long moments afterwards.   
  
Then, suddenly, he was alone.   
Everybody but him had graduated, he was left behind, with the AI in the box he could not let out.   
  
"You're an idiot you know that."  
  
The program called out to him. She was just being petty at this point, she had already lost, she knew what was coming next.   
  
"You just can't help yourself. You always ruin your own happiness."   
  
Her court room had been entirely vandalized by his screws. The walls were shattered where he had thrown them. The matrix effect was totally ruined, and even with a giant version of Junko, with just him in the room, the room seemed unbelievably empty. Not the bang she was hoping for, not the dramatic ending.  
  
It was just the two of them.  
And then there was two.  
That kind of deal.   
Even if she was not Junko, they still had similiar tastes and that was the kind of ending she hated the most.   
She could not understand. Why stay behind?  
He just made such a big fuss about escaping to the real world. 

『You can try to hack their bodies when you’re as incompetent with computers as I am. I doubt you'll get far, determination isn't your strong suit.』

“What… is this… a glitch?”

『Hey, why did you keep rotating the death game forever? Is it because… you wanted to keep it going? Not to take over Junko’s body, not to die, but to keep existing as the mastermind for as long as you could.』

 Those things she had admitted to herself.   
Understood, by a person like him, by a person she hated.  
She would never admit to it. She'd rather die, be deleted, cease to exist, it was better than a tiresome existence where all she did was think about hope and despair all day because it had been downloaded onto her brain to do so. 

“N...no, wait, because I’m Enoshima Junko-chan… I’ve never seen hope in this world not once.”

『You’re not Junko, you’re Junkai-chan.』  
  
That was a pretty weak effort.   
And she had bragged about all the different talk sprites she had, a better variety than Junko. Yet at the moment she found herself too exhausted to put on a single mask.   
  
“Hah… I guess I am…Hey, Kumagawa-senpai. Do you think, if things had been different, we were alone in this game together for so long, do you think eventually we could have become friends?”  
  
She called him by his name.  
She hadn't meant to. 

Kumagawa was excruciatingly honest as always. 『Nah, we’d never be friends. I hate cute brats like you.』

“Ah… That’s to be expected.”

Kumagawa MIsogi smiled at her cellphone console, approaching it when they were the only two left.『It’s okay, Junkai-chan. Even if we couldn’t become friends in the end, I’ll drag you to hell with me!』

  
Riiiiiiiiiiiip!  
In that moment, Kumagawa MIsogi reached through the screen of the cellphone and destroyed it, ripping off her face.  
The trial arena broke into pieces, no longer being maintained by either of them, and the two of the, fell, fell, fell, to the deepest level of the program.  
A gradual burial at sea.  
No change from the first story, Kumagawa Misogi repeated the same ending again.  
  
『Sorry Junkai-chan, if I let you die, and I went into the real world, I’m sure it’d be a happy ending for everyone, but… I’d prefer an ending where everyone is miserable.』

“...”

『That’s more my style.』 

Then, the two of them overlapped, because of Kumagawa’s overflowing emtions glitching the program, and they forgot who they individually were to begin with. They just kept sinking, further and further, towards a bottomless bottom.

 

**♛Now For the Epilogue or Rather the Punchline: A Goodbye to Farewells  ♛**

 

The moment Ikusaba Mukuro regained consciousness, she saw her body, broken, pathetic, skinny and on life support. The pod’s glass door raised above her, and she saw where an IV was giving her vital nutrients to live while still in the program. Slowly, fumbling, she reached for it, only to rip it out in one movement.  
  
She used the last of the strength in her arms to push herself out of the capsule. For support, she grabbed onto the silver IV stand that was next to her pod. She pushed herself out leaning her weight on it, and then, with each fumbling step she took forward she used it as a cane to support herself.

   
She wanted to see Makoto again. She wanted to see Makoto again. She wanted to see Makoto again. She thought it with each step, that simple wish, she had never before let herself long for that kind of happiness. She thought she didn’t deserve it, but… she had told Kamukura that he was not the worst person in the world, or was that Hajime? Either way, if that was true for him, then it was true for her as well.  
  
Slowly, stumbling, each foot step feeling like she was walking a mile she made her way down the hallway. All she could hear, was the sound of her own footsteps, and the sound of the rattling IV stand, echoing, echoing down a long empty hall.  
  
Perhaps she had never woken up to begin with, perhaps this was a dream, perhaps this was another of Junko’s schemes she was caught up in, and perhaps Makoto was not even here and he had downloaded himself into the game from some distant island. Either way, she hda decided she would just keep walking until she found him.  
  
The floor was black and white tiled, if she were Junko she would probably say it reminded her of a chessboard. She had said black and white didn’t exist, it didn’t matter, that everybody was an ugly gray like Misogi.  
  
She had told MIsogi to come to the real world, but he had done the opposite instead. He was always doing the opposite of what everyone wanted of him. But… she thought that was him growing up. Because, he had let Junko go off on her own for a little while after clinging so tightly, he had opened the door to the bird cage to let her out, even if she might get eaten by a cat while he was gone.  
  
Kumagawa Misogi really had grown to be so manly and cool, but she liked the unmanly and lame Makoto, at least she was attracted to him more. Her sister she would have to go check up on her too. The thought of it made her body so heavy, that walking was even harder, she probably would not be able to snap and talk so boldly again, that was the result of her being pushed to her limit.

  
But those words were inside her all along, waiting to come out. SHe was sure she could find them again if she needed to.  There were many doors along the hallway, but finally as she took yet another step one of them flew open.  
  
“Mukuro…”  
  
“Makoto.” Mukuro forgot about the pain in her legs, about how hard it was to walk, and suddenly rushed forward, tackling Makoto over. The two of them reunited, giggling in each other’s arms.

“Hey, I totally Naegi’d them back there, didn’t I?”  
  
“Huh? Since when have you started using my name as a verb!”  
  
“It’s because of you, I was able to do it, I was able to finally do what you’re always doing for others.”  
  
“...Mukuro, listen. I didn’t do anything. You were the one who Mukuro’d them.”

Ikusaba Mukuro laughed at her dork of a boyfriend, forgetting about tragedy and her sister just for a moment.  
  
On the other hand, Pekoyama and Kurokami knew what a danger would be the moment Enoshima Junko woke up. They forced themselves out of their pods, and went to find hers. Kurokami Medaka summoned her strength to pry it open even while locked.  
  
Only to find that the pod was completely empty, all the life support equipment already torn away.  
  
“You should have seen that coming,” Ajimu Najimi said behind them. “This only happens in like, every slasher movie ever.”

‘Tch… shut up shitty hag.” Yasuke said appearing in the doorway behind them. “I’m never going to get the chance to talk to Junko at this rate.”  
  
“Do you know where she is?” Kurokami Medaka said, lacking patience.  
  
“There’s no way I could know that, you all look the same to me after all.” Ajimu Najimi said, but that was of course, just a lie.  
  
In fact, Ajimu Najimi was not only standingin front of Kurokami Medaka, but she was also standing in front of Enoshima Junko at the same time.  
  
The moment Enoshima Junko regained consciousness, seeing her bandaged up hand, and her eye covered in a medical eyepatch, she fored herself out of her pod and made her way down the hallway. Of course pain wasn’t a hindrance to her when she could feel the despair of enduring such pain.  
  
She found Kumagawa Misogi’s pod hidden in Yasuke’s room easily enough. She pried it open, and picked up a scalpel she had stolen on the way, raising it up in the air. There was no trace of Kumagawa MIsogi left in this. Because he had left her behind. He had decided to leave her behind. Even after promising her that they'd have fun in the real world together, even after selfishly convincing her to live. He had gone off on his own. She would feel nothing from this, it was just a shell of a person after all. There was no trace of Kumagawa Misogi in there, so she might as well... She might as well... She could only feel something this way, it was better to feel something than nothing.   
Only to suddenly stop suddenly when she saw what Kuamagawa was clutchinging in his hand even in his sleep. A bear cell phone strap, the one she had given him.

  
“Boo!” Ajimu Najimi said, appearing suddenly, standing on top of Kumagawa’s pod, perched like a bird.  
  
“You do care after all don’t you? You, miss unbaised.”  
  
“Yeah. Kumagawa-kun is… my one and only source of bias.”  
  
“So, what are you going to do, stop me?”  
  
“You’re such a little kid Junko, throwing a tantrum because you didn’t get what you want. This is why you never learn.” Ajimu Najimi said, a disappointed expression on her face. “Little brats need to be punished but ah, I’m not biased for you, so I’ll let someone else take care of it.”  
  
“Someone else?”  
  
Enoshima Junko, probably because she was lacking one eye did not see someone appear in her blindspot. Suddenly, fingers curled around her head. She looked behind her with her one remaining eye, and saw a girl with blonde hair just like hers, covered in bandages just like Mikan.  
  
Shibushi Shibuki. Another minus. What did she do again? Before she could remember, suddenly pain shot through her head, like her head was ripping itself apart.  
  
“Scardead. The minus the opens old wounds. Full power. This is for what you did to Mikan!” The blonde yankee girl said, curling her fingers even further into Enoshima Junko’s skull.  
  
Enoshima Junko, the memories she had been forced to forget, of fifty two killing games, in order to stop herself from losing her mind to her own boredom, they all came rushing back in a single instant. “Ah… so… soo….sooo booooring….”  
  
Shibushi Shibuki let go of her, and her body went limp, she was only caught because Ajimu Najimi had reached out an arm to catch her. “Do you want to know a secret, Junko-chan. While your stupid bear beat me up so many times I was watching you for all fifty two rounds. It got so boring watching you over and over again enact your dumb romantic comedy, but suddenly on the fifty second round on a whim you decided to stop playing that will they won’t they game with Kumagawa-kun. You hadn’t done that once before. I think subconsciously, you remembered all along. There must have been something familiar about it, even if you brain didn’t remember, your body started to remember him. And now, you’re like that, your body remembers him, so it’s like you’re missing a piece of yourself. Well, have fun with that.”  
  
Ajimu Naijmi let go, and clutching her head still Enoshima Junko stumbled backwardsand ran away. Fear, fear, fear, fear, fear of boredom, she had lost her most interesting thing after all, more than adrenaline, fear was rushing through her veins, compelling her to run away.  
  
After Enoshima Junko had ran, the rest of those who had woken up decided to split up to look for her.

 

**♛**

 

  
However, little did they know there was a second Enoshima Junko, lingering in the basement of Hope’s Peak, not Jabberwock Island, where they had decided to try this crazy Neo World Project.  
  
When everybody else cleared away in search of her, the second fake, the discount cosplay Junko, the Enoshima Junko who knew she was a fake, the one in the blonde wig she had stolen from Ikusaba Mukuro appeared before the boy in the hat.  
  
“It’s too bad really, you didn’t get to participate in any of the killing games. You didn’t even get to see the execution of an Ultimate Detective.’  
  
The boy in the hat fiddled with his hat. “I think she was onto me right away when she looked into my memories, and then kept me out of her game. She wouldn’t even let a fake like me into her fake world… I really am the worst aren’t I?”  
  
“Yep, yep, you totes are!” The fake Enoshima Junko nodded excitedly, as she hovered over the console of the neo world program and stole a disc from it. “Whoooa, I can’t believe she recorded fifty two killing games just for us. This is going to make great research material. It’ll be like binging fifty two seasons of my favorite show!” She said excitedly hugging the disc.   
  
"I think you're the only person in the world who could not get tired of this after fifty two installents." The boy behind her in the hat pulled the hat over his face feeling like she was a little bit too shameless and embarrassed for the both of them.  
  
"Oh please, you're just upset because your fave died! You need to stop stanning the detective characters and stan Enoshima Junko-chan already, that's where it's at!" 

 

**♛**

 

Enoshima Junko did not make it far, missing one arm and one eye after all. She had traveled back to her own dorm. She stomped over flowers and memorials that had been left in the wake of her suicide attempt published on the news. As it was the middle of the night she did not particularly care about how loud she was, or throwing the door open.  
  
She walked past schemes on the walls, and many, many, many pictures of herself, leaving them all behind. As she made it the far end of her dorm room, she saw the balcony outside, broken from where both Kumagawa and her had fallen. She moved over to her bed and looked under it.  
  
There was a single box, covered in wrapping paper that looked terribly misshapen and patched up with tape in several places. She tore it away, and looked inside. A stuffed rabbit, that looked indescribably horrible, a custom stuffed animal sewn by Misogi himself. She knew because there was a card inside the box as well  
  
『 _I know you don’t like your birthday, but I can’t help but be happy you were born. Don’t worry about it Junko, I’m sure it’ll be lots and lots of fun!_ 』

He must have hid it, and intended her to find it on the next day, Christmas. Instead, she had jumped off a balcony, and run away from him. She looked at the ugly looking rabbit, and her heart tore in two.

_Just throw it away! I don’t want to see it anymore._

With an empty expression, Enoshima Junko hugged it to her chest.  
  
Before she could even begin to break however, she heard the sound of a gun cocking behind her. She looked behind her to see Hajime Hinata pointing it at her.  
  
No, not Hajime Hinata. He had one blue eye, and one red.  
He needed to take responsibility. He had not stopped Enoshima Junko once despite having the power to. He had almost released her on the world. She was dangerous, just like he was. And he was observing her from before this, she had almost stabbed Kumagawa MIsogi, his new firend. He needed to stop her from destroying everything, and destroying herself.  
  
That was what Kumagawa had asked him to do.  
He had no idea what it was like, stopping something, protecting something, moving on his own, but he had to. Even if it was clumsy, he had to take those first steps. Even if he was forcing himself to move, he never wanted to be still again. He had to stop her, that was what stopping himself would be like.   
  
Two heads had been shoved into a mixer, and melted together. Turn, turn, turn, swish, swish, swish, he himself was not even aware of the result. He had woken up with asymmetrical eyes, and stumbled out of the pod with uneven steps. He was not sure whether he had been two bodies, cut in half from head to toe along the middle, and then swapped out to sew different halves together or he was some other freakish combination. He did not know if he was 50% useful and 50% useless, or if he was made up more Kamukura or more Hinata.   
  
Unfortunately, he had woken up with Kumagawa's request as the last thing in his heart. Kumagawa the one who he betrayed, the one who he killed, the one who wanted to be both sides of him. He wanted to have more contemplative navel gazing, but he still believed that he knew Enoshima Junko better than anyone else. He knew the first and second places she would go. She was like a moth, she had no care for the light of the sun and always flew instinctively towards the light of the moon.   
  
She would return to the place where her shadow was cast the darkest. She would return to the place that made her the most miserable, because that was who she was, that was who she cared about the most. Perhaps he understood himself better now, perhaps he had learned something from all of this, even with the weight of fifty two games worth of memories clogging the synpases of his brain making it harder and harder to think.   
  
Perhaps he understood himself now, but he could not forgive himself.   
Perhaps he understood her now, but he could not forgive her.   
Nor could he trust her.  
Nor could he trust himself. 

  
She weakly pointed the scalpel back at him.  
  
“That won’t work. You’re always twelve steps ahead in every situation, you must know you can’t win here.”  
  
“Talent doesn’t matter, this whole world was built in my favor wsn’t it? Hey, Kamukura-senpai let’s work together again, let’s call a truce and save Kumagawa-senpai?”  
  
“I’m done with that. Had you only once tried to care about somebody besides yourself things would be different, but don’t pretend like you suddenly care about Kumagawa-senpai now. I’m not going to let you near him, because I’m his friend.”  
  
“You put Nagito in that game too, didn’t you? Project your flaws onto me when I have time for it, I’m busy now.  
  
“No, you’re hopeless?”  
  
“No duh?”  
  
“I know you. In the end, you only care about yourself. You’re your entire world. You don’t have room Kumagawa-senpai in it.”  
  
“You think you’re so different? You only chose the future because it’s slightly more interesting to you, don’t pretend to be some hero now? You want to play hero? Go ahead and shoot me, but I’m the only one who knows how to use Matsuda-kun’s research to ressuret the brains of the dead.”  
  
“...”  
  
“Listen, I’ll make a deal with you. Let me use you just one more time, Kamukura-senpai.”  
  
“Nothing that happens from now on with him is any of your concern. Your very existence is a mitsake. You should have never been born. I’ll take care of Kumagawa-senpai and the rest from here, you can just sit in a prison cell with a straight jacket harming no one.”  
  
Enoshima Junko’s eyes widened for a moment. For a moment she looked nothing like the incarnation of despair, just a little girl who had been told she never should have been born. All of this time she had known it but hearing it… well, whatever. The moment was over, she got bored of it, and she became someone else, she became enoshima Junko again. “Kamuuuuuuuuuuuuuukuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuraaaaaaaaaa-seeeeeenpaaaaaiiii!” She shouted.  
  
“Juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunkoooooooooooo!” He shouted back at her.  
  
_Ah._ _  
_ _He did it._ _  
_ _He finally did the names shouting thing._ _  
_ _He’s finally playing along._ _  
_

Enoshima Junko thought.  
  
And then.  
  
A bang rang out.  
Through the dorms.  
Waking everyone else up.  
  
However, the sound of the bang did not become to a gun, but rather Kurokami Medaka breaking the barrier with the Kurokami Phantom. Izuru suddenly saw a girl's face appear in front of his gun and pulled the trigger on instinct alone.  _Oh no, I've become a murderer again..._ He thought with terrible remorse, until that is Kurokami Medaka simply stumbled backwards a few feet and then spit. She did not spit out blood, or even shattered teeth bits but rather the bullet that Kamukura had shot. The two of them watched in stunned silence at the feat, before she disappeared again.  
  
It was not so fast than super high school level analysis could not see it but, neither of them had the time to react to it. Suddenly, at the same time Izuru and Enoshima felt a hand on the back of their heads. Like a couple of coconuts, like two comedians in a slapstick comedy, suddenly their heads were slammed together were all the force that Enoshima Junko could muster. The two of them instantly heard the sound of their heads collided, echoing in their heads, as their brains shook. All they could hear was echoes, echoes, echoes, and whatever they were thinking about a moment ago they forgot about it.   
  
The both of them collapsed on top of one another and Kurokami Medaka stood over them, sighing.   
  
"You two really are too similar, just learn to get along already." She said, kneeling down to check if the two of them were alright. Enoshima and Izuru were probably brain damaged enough already from their twisted thinking she did not really want to add onto it or damage their frontal lobes. "Even if you hate each other you can learn to be friends, yeah... I'll need new friends. otherwise it'll be lonely waiting for them..." 

 

**♛**

『I wonder if they’re having fun in the real world...』  
  
“...”

『A story about nothing.』  
  
Kumagawa Misogi was no longer in the classroom inside of his heart. He was now at the bottom levle of the pgroam, a fantasy world that was completely blank for now, except one classroom he had created from his memory.  
  
Using bookmaker on Junkai put them both on the same level, it connected them, which meant moderator controls had been passed to him. However, he had no idea what to do with them. He had no idea how much time had passed. All he could manage to create was this one room. He was not particularly good at creating things, he was better at destrying them.

『A story about nothing. A story where nobody learns their lesson.  A total time waster. A pointless story, but you know, even if all that’s true, I had lots and lots of fun hearing it, Junkai-chan, thank you for telling it to me!』  
  
In the corner of the room, a girl was leaning back against the wall, hugging onto her knees. There was a paper bag over her head, but blonde hair fell out from underneath the paper bag. Even when Kumagawa Misogi called out to her, she said nothing at all to him in return. He tried to reach out a hand to pat her on the head, but she slapped it away. The first time she had moved in what seemed like forever.

『 Stiiiiingy. Alright, keep pouting I guess that’s understandable since you’re only seven years old, we have a while anyway.』

Kumagawa Misogi looked at his lap. He was sitting against the wall as well, and there was somebody whose head was resting in his lap. A boy who looked very much like him, but rather than straight black hair, he had curly white hair. Kumagawa had been petting his hair, every so often, watching him stir in his sleep.

『Hey, Nagito-chan. I know I killed you so I don’t deserve to ask for anything.』  
  
“...”

『 But can I ask you for one favor?』

“...”

『It’s shameless of me I know, but I’ve always been shameless.』  
  
“...”

『That’s the only difference between you and me in the end, you’re much too polite, you’re too kind Nagito-chan, I wish you had been a little more shameless like me and grasped at happiness.』

“...”

『 Don’t make that face, there’ no way I could be happy without you.』  
  
“...”

『I just… wanted you to be happy.』  
  
“...”

『Because I don’t know what happiness is. To be honest, I'm scared to admit it to her. That I had a dream she appeared before me and asked me to come back to that school with her, to live the rest of our school days together and then destroy the world when we both graduated. Yes... after transferring all those schools, I finally found a school I could be a part of, it was like a long journey that led me to her... if... if she really appeared in front of me and asked that, it will have made every misfortune in my life worth suffering... but if I told her that desire she'd laugh at me, so...』

“...”

『 it’s getting harder to remember now, sorry I’m stupid… Ah, right the favor.』

“...”

『You’re always so kind, and considerate, and thinking of others so… all of the dreams of the dead right now, I’m going to gather them up and make them dream in the same world. Can you… can you design it for me? You know, just like designing a video game world. I think you'd be good at that.』

“...”

『 I don’t know what happiness is, so please, for the both of us, dream a happy dream. I want to share it with you.』


End file.
